#canna butter

[elliscousland]

making a little snack then i have a few things to do today, one of which i hope will be writing. my brain has been scattered lately so it's been really difficult to sit down & focus but i'm going to strongarm it today lol

[spurbleu]

unraveling careful threads

nurse!reader x johnny mactavish (sfw oneshot)

s. johnny finds you where he needs you. wc. 2k for @kentwos, <3

you don’t know what it is about your door, but it seems to beckon chaos.

it has no business being there. on the days you return with sore heels and needle indents on your pointer and thumb, it should not follow you. the military is its ball and chain- two trenches deep behind security fences. it should remain there- you’ve told the damn thing to sit and lie and yet it stalks you to a place of respite.

stray cats pitch on fat paws by your front steps. doorbell ditches- neighborhood boys who strangle their youth. rain.

tonight, its dressed in a bleeding temple and wine cheeks. bruises beneath the porch light and leans against the wood of your door frame. lubberly smile.

“come here often?”

although your concern is sluggish, it waxes the underside of your ribs when he lumbers past you into your living room. you lock the door before following him.

“johnny? what on earth h-“

“jus’ a scuffle. some bam off his rocker- one tae maneh bevvy’s,” he limps across your carpet with a right lean- sobering up slowly as he rummages through your cabinets, “where d’ye keep yer aid?”

whatever brought him to your door had beaten off the drunken stupor. you can’t classify what replaces it, but the shadow of it follows him. wimpish, reeking of pub grease, caramelized liquor, a drying anger.

the lights of your flat soften it.

in fact, it softens him.

unfamiliarity sheets the corners of your vision. him, unmitigated substance- raw sinews that thread thick strands beneath tanned skin are left exposed to the mundane. violence in a butter dish. grisly silt on a vacuumed carpet. a sergeant in cotton.

you’ve seen him only in the context of harsh lines. charcoal draws his boots on concrete, nothing picks the gravel from his teeth, and horizon grays let him taunt grim reapers and their assault rifles. where the world is his adversary and he takes it by the throat. even in the confines of your office, the walls feel as though they’d been sanded on whetstone when he receives a third set of stitches.

delicate looked unnatural on him. johnny was rock. impenetrable, inevitable. a dulled stone, rounded and heavy, bludgeons docile until it’s drying in saline and the vim that grows haphazardly on his knuckles. he did not belong where things were soft, and certainly didn’t fit in your kitchen.

he sends you a look over his shoulder. “ah ken ‘m good lookin, but i could realleh use a bandage.”

you swallow. “what?”

realization funnels through your exhaustion. you’re on leave. so is he. neither of them, given the circumstances and distance, should converge. regardless, he stands beaten to a variant of death, offering you a wilting smile and a flirt.

your eyes narrow. “johnny, why are you here.”

“cannae wounded soldier nae get help from his favorite nurse?”

a cautious step forward. “on base. but this is my house. how-“

“christ bonnie, jus quit it with the interview ‘n give me yer aid,” he rubs his temple and leans against the fridge, “that fuckin bastard.”

the disquiet comes back in a wave.

you’re vaguely acquainted with the state. the lull of anticipation as you sit in the after brood of consequence, sore operative on a stretcher. a mothering silence, rocks you both into placidity. its where you become removed from the outcome of the stitches, the draw of their brow, the blood that gets on your shirt. fades to somewhere beyond the both of you, mental death among other reliefs. lets you work.

but its never there when you look at johnny. never has been.

you’re left so agonizingly present around him. you blamed his sound for years- the resonate baritone in foreign gaelic that forges its way into spaces that cannot fit it (medic rooms, your ears…wayward sentimental thoughts) and how after he’s stopped speaking, it lingers on the back of your neck for hours.

but the longer you’ve known him, you realize it isn’t how loud he is, or the territory of his torso- not even his eyes. it’s the untitled charm that soothes a callous under your skin. you don’t know how to name it, so you let it guide your body to the corner base cabinet, searching for your aid.

because he needs it. and you have never been above giving johnny want he needs.

“go sit down.” there’s a disjointed noise from behind you as you pull the box to the counter.

“’m perfectly capable of-“

“johnny- go sit.”

you feel him staring at your back, but when the kitchen goes quiet, you know he’s done as told. you put the kettle on the back stove and set the heat to low, before walking around the banister back to the living room, where he waits with a pouting lip and a wide sit.

what a charmer.

you set the aid on the coffee table and assess the damage. shallow gash on the right side of his temple, bruising cheekbone that swells his left eye, split lip and a smudge of blood under his nostrils.

you pause where you stand, realizing in order to be productive you’ll have to be up close. you don’t have another chair that won’t risk an unsteady hand. johnny follows your thinking rather quickly for being roughed up and half sober. “my lap donae look comfeh enough for ye, bonnie?”

this little-

out of spite, you plop ungracefully on his right thigh. you hoped- expected- a fragment of surprise. instead, he gives you a loose grin, before gently resting his hands on your hips. the breeze of his fingertips makes you flinch.

“wha-“

“jus’ tryna keep ye steady,” he close one eye, the other full of mirth, “ready for my check up, doc.”

you scoff before pulling out your cotton swabs.

the routine begins. cleaning infections, pinching the skin to prepare it for stitches, breathing slowing. all while trying to ignore the sensation of your hands ghosting over his face, and how when you pull them back, they’re burning, sweating between each gap. all this fuss over how his thumbs mindlessly fiddle with the hem of your sleep shirt.

your fingers are the spiders that web him back together. the lifelines of your palm could never reach him, but you find that he’s already been there. burrows in the vulnerable fissures of your body, your mind, until you’re unravelling while he’s sewn together.  

and yet, you’re anchored. calmed. his discord serves as relief from a world that is inherently boring. you’d feel compelled to thank him if you think he’d understand.

“yer makin tha’ face again.”

you pause the needle before it hits his skin. “what face?”

“yer lip puffs out and yer brows do tis’ ting where d’ey meet n ta’ middle of yer-“ he smiles to himself and loses your eyes, “ye make it when ye need tae focus.”

you squint. “does it bother you?”

he laughs. a deep sound, resonates with the child in you that remembers waves against mercury bluffs, or watching thunder from your bedroom window. awe. having heard them before, and yet they sound foreign every time.

“nae,” he shakes his head softly, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a classic grin. if you had been standing, your knees would weaken at the gnaw of their blue when he looks at you again, “nae quite ta’ opposite. might be the most beautiful thing i’ve eva’ seen.”

the ceiling fan whirrs above you in a rhythm that matches your heartbeat, the carpet feels decade rough on your socks, and the clock in the corner is quieter than it’s ever been. and it’s all because a man who takes up leagues of space just by smiling called you beautiful.

you’d never say that aloud though. you’d be feeding the thing that makes him that way.  

“you’re hopeless.” is all that you muster.

he smiles, but its without gravity. it’s almost sad. “aye, maybe for ye.”

you lose yourself in the moments you find him like this. pliant, willing, gentle. (is that how cain killed abel? virgin hands wield a rock on innocence? softness weaponizing itself? you’re unsure, but when he meets your eyes for a third time, you’re convinced he’s waiting to kill you with the tender that holds you still on his thigh.)

“this is going to hurt.”

he recoils when you push the needle through the edge of his temple, but relaxes with a labored exhale. suddenly its quiet like it hadn’t been before. a breed of silence where you realize how close you are, how you swallow his breath, and feel the blimp of his pulse on your hip bone.

it doesn’t take long for you to finish closing the tear. when he feels you pull away, he tips his head up to look at you.

“looks like i came tae the righ’ d-“

“why are you out at this hour?”

your interruption is involuntary if anything else, but now that you look at him- half blue and half bloody- the concern you usually remove from patients rears an ugly head and hits the roof of your mouth.

he falters. “wha’d’ye mean?”

you drag your knuckles across his cheek bone and the flesh swelters. plums where other men became sideways and angry- and it’s the cotton in you that can’t help but swipe a thumb over it. he cringes, but you persist until the pad of your thumb cools where it burns. when you find his eyes, you lose something in your lungs.

“I…I know you’re on leave, and your life is your own but…” you pretend to idle your hands over his jaw- looking for any contusions, or perhaps a lifeline that could stabilize you as you rest on his lap, “getting into fights at pubs isn’t exactly the point of a vacation.”

he sighs before looking at your palm, “I…” his voice below a whisper, his stubble barely itching your fingers tells you he’s trying not to startle you,  “I get… antsy. gets me inta’ trouble,” he offers you a clumsy smile, “donae think I’m capable of sittin’ still for very long.”

you steal a look at his lips. they’re not bleeding anymore. you blink. “you’re doing it now.”

he gives you a look like you’re torturing him and your mouth dries. “I’ve got ye on my lap. ay’d be a very, very foolish man, to move now.”

johnny has a way of saying things so simply that you think it’s better if you say nothing at all.

instead you take antiseptic and wipe his stitches clean. the only remnants that remain of night- the swell of his eye, the healing cut on his temple- are now replaced with remnants of you. needle and thread, careful breath, your skin on his.

you didn’t know nursing could ever feel so intimate.

“i’m…you’re all..” you swallow the blue in his eyes like their air, “done.”

he nods, but doesn’t move. in fact, neither of you do.

the lamp light tames the sting of his iris. they can’t startle a paralysis under downy soft yellow. instead, hot blue steel melts you. diminishes the flesh and bone of your second skin. he has a tendency to stare at it until it’s been torn apart and pieced together (the countless times you’ve done it for him under a needle and thread do not compare to what he does with his eyes).

it’s an oddity you’ve grown much to fond of for something that is so inherently finite.

“ah…meant what ‘ah said,” this will not last, “about ye being beautiful.”

it will pass, god let it pass. “Johnny…”

the teapot whistles from the kitchen brings you back to your senses. you cough the penciled fear into your fist and try for a smile. both of you know its not honest.

“sit tight.”

the tea is still warm in your belly as you watch him shuck his coat on his shoulders from your position on the wall. you both remain comfortably mute, in this odd routine that doesn’t feel new at all. despite every experience tonight proving something different, as he stands at your door you’re prompted with an overwhelming rush of deja’vu.

“you sure you’re alright to drive home?” you stifle a yawn. “I know you’ve slept on more uncomfortable surfaces than my couch.”

he laughs, albeit its muddled by his own exhaustion. “very temptin’ bonnie. but i cannae stay- gotta get back to my own.” something other than his own bed is tugging him out the door, but you let a sleeping dog lay (or, an injured sergeant lie).

he opens your door and turns to face you before walking out. you can’t tell if the shiver is from the cold rush of air that hits your bare elbows, or the preserving look he throws your way. “thank ye, bonnie. yer a life saver.”

you smile. “i would say come again, but i feel like that’s redundant.”

he nods. his eyes flit to the space behind you and then back to your face. he pulls his hand from his pocket and tucks a stray behind your ear, and you swear it’s the first time you’ve seen the sergeant properly blush.

“sweet dreams, mm bonnie?”

“yeah. get home safe,” your smile broads, “not keen on staying awake too much longer to fish you out of trouble again.”

he nods, stepping out the threshold of your door. you feel like you’ve lost things tonight but gained something infinitely more important. “goodnight, Johnny.”

“g’night.”

you don’t realize that its yearning until his footfall recedes back into a world that is boundless and without your hands to keep him threaded together.

at least then, he’ll return to you.

[sizzlingcandyjellyfishhhhhh]

half of a chocolate chip pecan canna butter cookie

[scotianostra]

IT'S A PURE DEAD GIVE-AWAY THAT YOU'RE SCOTTISH IF :-

1. You consider scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine 🌞 as good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing 🕺🏻

every year at secondary school.

4. You have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldyin, baltic...

5. You destroyed your teeth when you were young using Buchanan's toffee, Wham bars, Penny Dainties, MB Bars, Cola Cubes etc

6. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a 'numpty' team like the Faroe Islands.

7. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather with someone you've never met before.

8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue and Big Country, you still love it when you're in a club abroad and they play something Scottish.

9. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick Lamp Paladin.

10. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Xmas.

11. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent - "Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." Or "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?", etc

12. You see cops and hear someone shout 'Errapolis'.

13. You have participated in or watched people having a 'square go'.

14. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they only want to know if you are catholic or protestant.

15. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n tatties, Tunnock's Caramel Logs, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen skink, Lees Macaroon Bars, etc.

16. A jakey has asked you for money.

17. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper.

18. You know the right response to 'Ye dancing ?' is 'Y'askin?' followed by 'Ahm askin' and finally 'Then ahm dancin'. 💃

19. Whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit as that's what the jannies used to chuck on it at school.

20. You lose all respect for a groom 🤵 who doesn't wear a kilt.

21. You don't do 🛒 shopping ... you 'go the messages'.

22. You're sitting on the train 🚂 or bus and a 😵 drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke - and asking 'Ahm no annoying ye ahm a?' and you respond 'Naw, not at a', yer fine. This is ma stoap, but'. 🛑

23. You can have an entire phone 📞 conversation using only the words 'awright', 'aye' and 'naw'.

24. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink 🍷 when out - regardless of the circumstances.

25. You know that ye cannae fling yer pieces 🍞 oot a 20 storey flat, and that seven hundred hungry weans'll testify tae that. Furthermore you're sure that if it's butter, 🧀 cheese or jeely, or if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan.

26. You know that going to a party 🥳 at a friend's house involves bringing your own drink.

27. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 while you're away.

28. Your national team goes 2-0 up again the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we'll end up losing 3-2 here and you think "Probably". ⚽️

29. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty.

30. Your favourite pizza is deep fried and battered from the chippy.

31. You're used to 4 💨 ☔️ ☀️ ❄️ seasons in one day.

32. You can't pass a chip shop or kebab shop, without drooling, when your 🥴 drunk.

33. You can fall about 😵 drunk without spilling your drink.

34. You measure distance in minutes.

35. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family.

36. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's like being at the ocean.

🌊

37. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words.

38. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it.

39. Somebody you know used a football 🥅 schedule to plan their 💒 day date.

40. You've been at a 👰 🎩 wedding where the footie results were read out.

41. You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas 🍕 kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags all for sale in one shop.

42. Your seaside holiday home has Calor ⛽️ gas under it.

43. You know that Irn Bru is an infallible hangover 😵 cure.

44. You understand all the above and are going to send it to your pals.

45. and, finally, you are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever used these terms - "How's it hingin'?", "clatty", "boggin", "cludgie", "dreich", "bampot", and "dubble nugget"..

😂🕺🏻🥳

[mikhailwrites]

Keep your Sergeant happy / Ghost x Soap

Kinktober #18 - Cooking (from the SFW prompt list, made a bit NSFW)

Soap stares. Shocked out of his wit, which is almost unheard of. A confused “You… cook?” is the only response he’s capable of.

“I do. Been told I’m rather good at it, too,” Ghost adds, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Two weeks. Soap and Ghost are holed up in a safe house in the middle of nowhere for two weeks, and the Sergeant is seriously starting to lose it. They don’t even know if they’re really in danger; all Price told them was, “There’s been a leak; lay low, don’t return to the base until you hear from me”. It’s just their luck they’ve been out on a deployment to Germany when it happened.

They’ve been living off canned food and stashed MREs for too long, and Soap’s had just enough. He looks into the cupboard for the umpteenth time as if he doesn’t know what he’ll find there. More cans. “Ah swear Ah will throw up if I have tae eat one more canned meat.” Johnny groans, going through the stash in hopes of finding something else.

Ghost hums in acknowledgement but doesn’t say anything encouraging or otherwise. Soap is sure his Lieutenant could live from berries and roots if it came to that. Or hunt a rabbit with his bare hands or something. He’s seen Ghost’s survival skills first-hand many times. Fuck, Soap would kill for a rabbit. Or a fish. Or anything other than a disgusting piece of pseudo-meat in the sleazy gravy. But there’s nothing else, and his stomach has been growling for over an hour.

By the third, slowly chewed bite, Soap is willing to call this shit worse than actual torture. Closing his eyes as he feeds himself another piece, Soap feels his face contort in a mixture of disgust and apprehension.

“You look like you’re about to die, Johnny,” Ghost says without a hint of emotion.

Soap sighs, putting the dreaded can away as he hopes the few bites would be enough to calm his stomach and give it at least an illusion of sustenance. “Might as well if I have to eat one more of these.”

Ghost chuckles, shaking his head slowly. “Any food is better than no food, trust me.”

Soap knows, truly, but that doesn’t mean he can’t bitch about it, does it?

“Tell you what, if you can manage two cans a day, I’ll cook something nice for you when we get back,” Ghost offers and… he sounds almost cheerful as he says it.

Soap stares. Shocked out of his wit, which is almost unheard of. A confused “You… cook?” is the only response he’s capable of.

“I do. Been told I’m rather good at it, too,” Ghost adds, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Only the sly glint in his eyes betrays the truth that he enjoys teasing Soap.

“What… uh… okay? Alright.” Soap stutters and reluctantly takes the half-eaten can.

Ghost nods his approval. “That’s the spirit, Johnny. So… what’d you like? And I swear to God, if you say haggis, you’re not gonna live it down.”

“Why? Ye cannae do haggis?” Soap teases but quickly reconsiders as Ghost turns to him fully, casually flipping a knife. “Alright, alright! I dinnae even like haggis, ye British twat! Tikka masala fine with ye?”

“Butter chicken it is,” Ghost agrees, hiding the knife away.

The following week is a blur. They get back, Price briefs them, and then they have to catch up on the piles of work that, somehow, could wait up until then but couldn’t wait any longer. Johnny was looking forward to returning home, but now that he’s home, it’s not as happy a reunion as he hoped.

Soap is just finishing up for the day, tired, apathetic and irritable. For the first time ever, he’s seriously considering taking a few days' leave. Ghost’s voice stops him as he reaches the door. “Soap, meet me at the mess hall at 2300.”

It’s a weird request at best, and Soap blinks a few times before he turns around. The Lieutenant doesn’t spare him a glance, still typing away on his keyboard. Maybe Soap didn’t hear right? “Come again?”

“Mess hall, 2300, be there,” Ghost repeats without any further explanation.

Soap nods, too tired to bother. “Sure.”

As a matter of fact, he’s too tired to ponder on it. Ghost tells him to be somewhere, Soap does it, easy as that—no thinking required.

The moment he steps into the mess hall, five minutes to eleven, he realises what’s going on. The smell of masala, garlic and turmeric is enough to make his mouth water immediately. He remembers Ghost’s promise now.

Entering the kitchen, he sees Ghost dressed in his usual black attire, with a white apron. The balaclava is tucked up on his nose because, obviously, he needs to smell and taste the sauce. Nobody would ever believe Soap if he told them.

“You were actually serious,” Johnny says as he leans against the counter, watching in astonishment as Ghost prepares the meal. No, not Ghost, it’s Simon now. And Simon’s moves in the kitchen are just as steady and well-practised Ghost’s on the battlefield.

Simon chuckles, stirring the sauce. “I was. Now, hand me the plates.”

Soap does, feeling a bit nostalgic. He used to help his maw in the kitchen when he was but a wee kid. He watches Simon fill the plates with rice, pouring a generous amount of sauce over it and adding a healthy amount of chicken on top. “Here you go, one chicken tikka masala.”

They sit at the table; it’s a bit weird being the only two people there, but Soap doesn’t mind. This feels nice. Unsure of what to expect, he scoops some rice with his fork, adding the sauce to it, before he tenderly tastes it.

“Holy shit,” Soap utters in disbelief, staring first into his plate, then at Simon, who looks very pleased with himself as he eats his own portion. “This is so good!”

“Thank you,” Simon smirks. “Told you I can cook.”

It’s true, but for some reason, Johnny really thought he was joking. Ghost. Cooking. And acing it, as he aces pretty much anything he does. On a closer inspection, it shouldn’t surprise him. Soap opts for not saying anything and just enjoying the amazing treat. When he tastes the chicken that was probably soaking in the marinating sauce for some time, he moans obscenely. The food is honestly much better than it has any right to be. So good, in fact, that it strips Soap of his brain-to-mouth filter. “If you’re at least half as good a lay as you are a cook, I wanna marry ye.”

Simon pauses, fork with another bite lifted halfway. His eyes are wide with surprise.

“Oh fuck…,” Soap breathes out as he realises not only what did he just say but to whom.

Simon smiles, one of his slightly scary, feral smiles. “Technically, this could count as a dinner.”

Soap is fighting the overwhelming mixture of confusion and panic. He has no clue what’s going on, but Simon doesn’t seem offended, which is good. In fact, he looks… intrigued. Okay, Soap can work with that. “You think me some easy lad, letting you have your way with me after just one dinner?”

“It’s a damn good dinner,” Simon shrugs. He watches Soap intently, and the intent is dark and hungry.

Johnny slides his foot under the table until it nudges against Simon’s. It’s a safe touch, nothing overt or inappropriate. “Aye, it is. Makes me want to ask about the dessert.”

Simon’s foot nudges him right back with more strength, forcing Soap to spread his legs a little. Bleedin’ Jesus, is this really happening? “I might have something… back in my room.”

Soap finishes his plate in a record time, feeling genuinely sorry because it was definitely good enough to savour. Maybe he could convince Ghost to cook for him again. He’s determined to try.

It’s a small miracle they make it to Ghost’s room without any incidents. The moment the doors close, however, Simon is already yanking the balaclava off, mashing their mouths together as he wrestles with Soap’s clothes.

Johnny helps with that and then promptly returns the favour, eager to touch every inch of exposed skin, to kiss and taste everything Simon offers. And he offers plenty. They kiss, and they rut against each other, desperately trying to relieve some of the tension. However, it’s not that easy because it has been building up for months. The banter, the flirting, the seemingly innocent touches. It all culminates right here, at this moment.

Johnny has no idea when exactly their dynamic shifts, but at one moment, Simon is kissing him, licking his way into Johnny’s mouth, and the next, it’s Johnny, pressing on, forcing Simon to take a step back, then another, until they get to the bed. He’s never imagined Ghost as anything other than pushy top, but it seems that he was wrong. Still, he needs to clarify. “You want me to…?”

“Yeah, Johnny, fuck me,” Simon says, almost painfully blunt but perfectly clear. Johnny pauses to take a deep breath.

“It’d be my absolute pleasure, Simon,” Johnny grins, pushing Ghost back, causing him to fall on the bed. Ghost could immediately turn the tables if he felt so inclined, and it turns Soap on. He gets Ghost to cook for him, he gets him to be manhandled, and he gets to fuck him. He might just be the luckiest lad in the whole fucking world.

It’s good, so good. Simon is far from passive; he wants Johnny, and what Simon wants, Simon gets. Slowing down and speeding up again, changing the angle ever so slightly, they work together in nearly perfect sync to prolong their pleasure. Despite their best efforts, it cannot last.

Johnny is the first to succumb, gasping, only barely managing to keep reasonably quiet as the sweet respite takes him. Simon is close behind, grunting and arching his back as he grinds against Soap.

They lay on the bed, side by side, sticky and messy, yet unable to do anything about it for the moment.

“I’m doomed. You are as good a fuck as you are a cook,” Johnny laughs, quiet and light, tracing invisible patterns on Simon’s skin.

“I’m not marrying you, Johnny,” Simon retorts in a tone just as light.

“You say that now, but wait until the second date.”

[prowrestlingindustrialcomplex]

Punk: I replaced Drew’s "I can't believe it's not butter" with real butter.

*Cutaway to Drew spreading butter on toast then taking a bite*

Drew: But—But..I—I...I—I cannae believe—…what..yeh...uh—

*Cutaway to Drew in a mental ward screaming and being held down by doctors and male nurses—he’s a big man*

Sheamus: I don't know, doc. Lookin’ back, I think it may have been real butter.

Doctor: Your friend murdered 3 people and decapitated them with a claymore sword.

[killercooksblog]

I was gonna ask "hey, why a cooking tiktok?" Y'know, like, all the things someone tall, blonde, and beautiful could do, and cooking tiktok was the choice - which is cool, but still.

But then - and my brain switches tracks so fast - I remembered my dad just got a smoker, and so I was thinking about the cannabutter episode and I got to thinking.

>.>

Could you canna-smoke something? Like, salmon or ham or somethin'?

Hey Quin, Killer here👋

Thanks for being the first person to send in an ask! Why cooking? Because I saw others with food insecurity and decided, no more. All it took was one, skinny twerp of a brat to open my heart and my kitchen.

I appreciate the cooking question ~ I can't see why not, although I've never tried it myself. Since MaryJane is fat soluble, its recommened to cook it with butter, peanut butter, etc. I can definitely see adding special herb butter to meats, or hell even directly seasoned on top of the meat, so long as it can heat and cook in fatty oil deposits.

We don't have a smoker, yet...something to consider perhaps...

Hope you have a great day and that you slay the weekend����

[thegreatlearning]

Second consecutive day of basically just sleeping because of that fucking crazy canna butter I had night before last

[the-witchy-sideblog]

Spiral Substance-Based Recipes

Alcoholic:

Root Beer/Fanta Float - mixed 1:1 ratio whipped vodka and root beer/fanta, scoop of ice cream

Gatorwine - mixed 1:1 ratio wine and Gatorade

Liquid Marijuana - spiced rum, coconut rum, melon liquor and blue curacao (opt. add in a splash of pineapple juice w/ sprite. Proportions vary)

Magic Potion - 0.5 oz Violet liqueur, 1.5 oz Gin, 1 oz lemon juice, 0.75 oz simple syrup, 0.5 oz ginger juice, and a few dashes of bitters, add a few pinches of edible glitter

White Coffee Dream - Whipped vodka, kahlua coffee liquore, and coconut rum

White Gilgamesh - 2/3 Beer (Ginnus is recommended), 1/3 Goat (or similar) milk, preferably warm

TV Static - Mikes Hard Cranberry Lemonade and Cucumber Lime Gatorade, proportions vary

Custer's Last Stand - Spherical ice, glass of bourbon, and an Uncrustable

Angel's Tears - glass of beer, 1 scoop vanilla ice cream, peanuts, sprinkles

Gasoline Flavored Oreos - 9oz Oreo flavored Coca Cola Zero Sugar, 3oz Kraken Black Spiced Rum

Marijuana:

Weed Tea* - [This] is an optional recipe, but you can also go the route of using old/broken carts. Heat the cart in a small container of boiling water (careful not to let it spill!) and pour it in with the tea (loose leaf or bagged) as the same time. Depending on cart type you may need to try removing the top so the melted liquid goes in

Pot Brownies: [Here] is a short and easy recipe for pot brownies using instant mix, but [This] is a more complex one with an addition link to a cannabis butter example

Cannabis Oil: [This] is a fairly easy canna oil recipe which can then be added into other recipes (cooking, baking, etc.)

*Tea made normally but with added marijuana leaves are not recommended as the binding effect of THC is not active and it will be extremely bitter due to high temperatures

Misc.:

Candy flipping: LSD & molly at the same time, proportions vary

Cross-fading: marijuana and alcohol at the same time, proportions vary

Blue Honey: [Here] and [Here] are two different articles about making blue honey! This is psilocybin mushroom infused honey which can then be used on its own, as a topping, or added into drinks

Mushroom Mayhem: [Here] is a list of information about cooking with shrooms, how to do it safely, and potential recipes you can make

[swuid]

Tried making canna butter again this time I put the thing in the oven hopefully I didn’t fuck it up this time ^_^

[beyondsmokeshops]

This time of year can be truly joyous, but also truly stressful. Chores, errands, events, entertaining - there’s so much to do, it’s enough to overwhelm even the merriest of holiday merrymakers. Think of all those pesky relatives and shopping crowds to overcome. After all that, who wants to cook? Cooking for the holidays is no small feat - fortunately, in this as in so many things, cannabis can help. Make sure to have a little toke first as you whip up one of the recipes on our list.

A few brief notes for stoner chefs: edibles are a different ballgame, even for experienced smokers. Prepare your dishes with care and make sure you are aware of the potency and dosage per serving. Never give cannabis-infused food to someone without their knowledge and consent, and keep away from children and pets. If you are looking for a device to make your own cannabis-infused butter (aka cannabutter), the professionals at your local Beyond Smoke shop will be happy to assist you. Now relax and enjoy! Happy holidays from all of us at Beyond Smoke.

Cannabis Glazed Ham

Ingredients:

1/8 cup whole cloves

2/3 cup brown sugar

1 cup apple cider

½ cup orange juice

¼ cup cannabis-infused oil

¼ cup Dijon mustard

1 teaspoon cinnamon

¼ teaspoon ground cloves

Pinch salt

Smoked cured ham, 8-12 lbs

Heat oven to 300 degrees.

1. Place the ham on your work surface. Stud the ham with the whole cloves.

2. In a medium saucepan combine the brown sugar, canna-oil, apple cider, mustard, cinnamon, cloves and salt. Allow to reach a slow simmer, stirring frequently. The longer you cook the glaze the thicker it will. Allow the mixture to cool for at least 30 minutes.

3. Liberally brush the ham with the glaze. Bake for 1-2 hours, basting frequently. Allow to stand for about 20 minutes before slicing.

Cannabis-Infused Roast Turkey with Herb Gravy

Ingredients:

FOR THE TURKEY:

1 whole turkey (about 12-14 pounds), thawed and patted dry

1/4 cup cannabis-infused olive oil

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 lemon, halved

2 onions, quartered

1 bunch fresh rosemary

1 bunch fresh thyme

Salt and pepper, to taste

FOR THE HERB GRAVY:

Drippings from the roasted turkey

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 cups chicken broth

2 tablespoons cannabis-infused olive oil

Salt and pepper, to taste

Instructions:

Marinating the Turkey:

Prepare the Marinade: In a small bowl, mix the cannabis-infused olive oil with minced garlic, salt, and pepper.

Marinate the Turkey: Rub the cannabis-infused oil mixture both inside and outside of the turkey. Place some rosemary, thyme, lemon halves, and quartered onions inside the cavity of the turkey.

Refrigerate: Let the turkey marinate in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours, or overnight for better infusion.

Roasting the Turkey:

Preheat the Oven: Preheat your oven to 325°F (165°C).

Prepare for Roasting: Remove the turkey from the refrigerator and let it come to room temperature. Place it on a roasting rack in a roasting pan.

Roast: Place the turkey in the preheated oven. The general rule for cooking a turkey is about 13 minutes per pound. So, a 14-pound turkey would take about 3 hours to cook.

Baste: Baste the turkey every 30-45 minutes with the pan juices.

Check for Doneness: The turkey is done when an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the thigh reads 165°F (75°C).

Rest Before Carving: Once done, remove the turkey from the oven and let it rest for at least 20 minutes before carving. This allows the juices to redistribute.

Making the Herb Gravy:

Collect the Drippings: Pour the drippings from the roasting pan into a bowl, leaving the browned bits in the pan.

Make a Roux: Place the roasting pan on the stove over medium heat. Add the cannabis-infused olive oil and flour to the pan, whisking to combine with the browned bits.

Add Liquids: Gradually add the chicken broth, continuing to whisk. Bring to a simmer.

Simmer: Cook the gravy until it thickens to your liking, usually about 10 minutes.

Season: Season with salt and pepper. Strain the gravy to remove any lumps, if desired.

Serving:

Serve the Turkey: Carve the turkey and serve it with the warm herb gravy.

Cannabis-Infused Green Bean Casserole

Ingredients:

Two nine ounce packages frozen cut green beans, thawed (you can also use canned and drained green beans)

Eight slices bacon

10 chopped cremini mushrooms

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

One 10.75 oz can condensed cream of mushroom soup

1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

¾ cup of crispy fried onions

¼ cup melted cannabutter

Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and place the green beans into a casserole dish.

Fry the bacon until brown and crispy, remove from the skillet and drain most of the grease from the pan, leaving just enough grease to cook the mushrooms.

Saute mushrooms until tender and season with garlic and onion powder.

Pour in mushroom soup and bring the mixture to a light boil.

Pour the mixture over the green beans.

Crumble the bacon on top and sprinkle in the cheddar cheese.

Cover with the fried onions then brush with melted cannabutter.

Season with salt and pepper, then bake for 20 minutes until the sauce is bubbling.

Serve and enjoy!

Cannabis-Infused Mashed Potatoes

Ingredients:

5 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes, (cooked, mashed)

2 (3 ounce) packages cream cheese

¼ cup cannabutter*

¼ cup regular butter

1/2 cup sour cream

1/4 cup milk

1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder

1 tsp fresh rosemary, chopped (optional)

Ground white pepper to taste

Directions:

Place potatoes in a large pot of lightly salted water. Bring to a boil, and cook until tender, about 15-20 minutes. Drain, and mash.

While potatoes are still warm, in a large bowl, combine mashed potatoes, cannabutter, milk, butter, cream cheese, sour cream, garlic powder, and pepper. Sprinkle fresh rosemary on top. Serve and enjoy!

Cannabis-Infused Pumpkin Pie

Yield: One 9-inch pie

4 grams cannabis flower

2 14-oz cans sweetened condensed milk, divided

1 large egg

1 large egg yolk

1 tsp kosher salt

¼ cup heavy cream

1 15-oz can unsweetened pumpkin purée

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

1 pie crust, store-bought

whipped cream, for serving

| Preparation – Cannabis | To prepare the cannabis, preheat oven to 200˚F. Grind your flower up finely. Place on cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Place in oven for 70 minutes. Remove, and let cool completely. Add decarboxylated cannabis into the top of a double boiler with 1 can of sweetened condensed milk. Bring to 220˚F, and keep at that temperature. Cook for 45 minutes to infuse, stirring every 5 minutes. Add about ½ cup of sweetened condensed milk, or more as needed, to replace what has evaporated. Strain through cheesecloth into a separate container. To strain, secure the cheesecloth around a heat-safe cup with a rubber band or tape, so you can properly push and strain liquid. Thoroughly squeeze through. Be sure to wear disposable gloves, as it gets sticky. Let cool.

Preparation – Pumpkin Pie | Preheat oven to 375˚F. Whisk infused milk, pumpkin purée, egg, 1 egg yolk, heavy cream, kosher salt and pumpkin pie spice in a medium bowl. Place chilled dough on a generously floured surface, and (if needed) roll out to an 11-inch circle, adding more flour to your rolling pin as needed. Carefully roll dough onto the rolling pin, then unroll over a 9-inch pie dish.

Press dough evenly into the bottom and sides of the dish. Trim any excess dough and form around edges. Fill pie crust, and distribute the pie filling evenly. Lightly tap the pan to settle the filling. Bake for 20 minutes or until crust is brown and filling is set. Let cool, and top with whipped cream.

| To Serve | Serve chilled or at room temperature. Cut pie into 10 equal slices.

Cannabis Cream Cheese Sugar Cookies

Equipment

mixer

mixing bowl

parchment paper

cookie sheet

measuring cups and spoons

Ingredients

3 cups all purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup cannabis

2 oz cream cheese softened to room temp

1 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

2 tsp pure vanilla extract

1/2 tsp almond extract

Cream Cheese Frosting

4 oz cream cheese softened to (room temp)

1/4 cup unsalted cannabutter (room temp)

2 cups confectioners sugar

1/2 cup sprinkles

Instructions

Whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt together until combined. Set aside.

In a large bowl using a hand-held or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the cannabutter and cream cheese together for 2 minutes on high speed until completely smooth and creamy. Add the granulated sugar and beat on medium high speed until fluffy and light in color. Beat in the egg, vanilla, and almond extract on high speed..

On low speed, slowly mix the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients until combined. The cookie dough will be thick. Cover dough tightly with aluminum foil or plastic wrap and chill for 1 hour.

Remove cookie dough from the refrigerator. If the cookie dough chilled longer than 3-4 hours, let it sit at room temperature for about 20 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350°F (177°C). Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper

Pour the 1/2 cup of granulated sugar into a bowl.Scoop and roll balls of dough, about 1.5 Tablespoons of dough each. Roll each ball into granulated sugar then place on the baking sheets about 3 inches apart. Using the back of measuring cup or drinking glass, gently press down on each .

Bake the cookies for 13-15 minutes, or until very lightly browned on the edges. Let cool cmpletely before frosting.

FROSTING

In a medium bowl using a hand-held mixer or stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, beat the cream cheese and cannabutter together on medium-high speed until creamy and no lumps remain, about 2 minutes. Add the confectioners’ sugar and vanilla extract. Beat on low speed for 20 seconds then increase to high speed until everything is completely combined and the frosting is creamy. Taste. Add a pinch of salt if frosting is too sweet. Spread on each cooled cookie, then decorate with sprinkles.

Hot Cannabutter Rum Cider

Ingredients:

24 ounces spiced apple or pear juice

4 teaspoons cannabutter, softened

1⁄4 cup heavy whipping cream

1⁄2 teaspoon powdered sugar

8 ounces dark rum

1⁄4 teaspoon cloves

4 cinnamon sticks

In a small saucepan, bring rum and cloves to a slow rolling boil for about 10 minutes.

While boiling off the alcohol, create “cannabutter cream” by whisking together cannabutter, heavy cream and powdered sugar. Set aside.

Strain the rum into a clean pot, add the cider and heat for a few minutes more. Pour the hot rum cider into 4 mugs and top each drink with 2 teaspoons of cannabutter cream. Garnish drinks with a cinnamon stick and serve immediately. Makes 4 servings.

Resources:

https://www.finefettle.com/blog/top-holiday-cannabis-recipes/

https://mogreenway.com/2023/11/22/infused-kitchen-cannabis-infused-roast-turkey-with-herb-gravy/

https://www.leafly.com/news/lifestyle/recipe-cannabis-infused-mashed-potatoes

https://www.feastmagazine.com/recipes/desserts/cannabis-infused-pumpkin-pie-recipe/article_c0ce0b24-3de1-11ee-8910-537997b8ccff.html

https://cannadish.net/top-10-favorite-cannabis-christmas-recipes/

https://www.stackmagazines.com/literature/cannabis-recipes-kitchen-toke-christmas/

https://cannabisnow.com/baked-canna-glazed-ham/

[gothamsbestkept]

I know Bruce's policy, but unironically I need the bat family stoned. Just once.

Like Alfred makes like edibles for his arthritis or old age. And they are like POTENT AF. And the fam being the fam and because of Alfreds immense cooking skills, are none the wiser. They eat the cookies realize how good they are and eat more of them.

Proceed to have Alfred have to baby sit Bruce's high as fuck kids.

Jason's the first one to figure it out, cause Damian can't stop having giggle fits.

Tim thinks it some Joker shit so he's low-key freaking out. Which prompts Alfred to call Bernard over. (Who do you think he got the canna butter and cannasugar from)

Cass and Steph are next to each other sharing a HUGE bowl of some sort of chip or snack. Couch locked.

Dick has so many "Highdeas" it's annoying. But Duke is the one he's bouncing them off of and Duke for some reason really digs them.

Barb didn't eat any and has to find a way to keep Bruce away from the mansion.

insta requests

[spotjardin]

Que faire au jardin du lundi 28 avril au dimanche 4 mai 2025

Programme de la semaine du lundi 28 avril au dimanche 4 mai 2025 Vous y trouverez tous les renseignements nécessaires, et si besoin n’hésitez pas à poser vos questions en commentaire afin d’avoir des précisions supplémentaires. Jour fruits

Semez des courges en godets Au jardin potager Semez des petits pois nains. Semez de la pastèque, du pâtisson, de la courgette et de la courge dans des godets sous châssis vitré jusqu'à la levée. Lundi 28 avril 2025 Jour racines

Semez du rutabaga Au jardin potager Semez de la betterave, du panais, du scorsonère, du salsifis, du persil tubéreux, du rutabaga, de l'hélianti, du navet, de la carotte, du radis et du poireau. Semez également des endives directement en pleine terre. mardi 29 avril 2025 Jour racines

Semez des endives en pleine terre Au jardin potager Semez de la betterave, du panais, du scorsonère, du salsifis, du persil tubéreux, du rutabaga, de l'hélianti, du navet, de la carotte, du radis et du poireau. Semez également des endives directement en pleine terre. mercredi 30 avril 2025 Jour racines

Si vous habitez une région douce, plantez de la patate douce Au jardin potager Semez de la betterave, du panais, du scorsonère, du salsifis, du persil tubéreux, du rutabaga, de l'hélianti, du navet, des carotte, du radis et du poireau. Semez également des endives directement en pleine terre. Puis à partir de 8h25 en lune descendante : Si vous habitez dans une région douce, plantez de la patate douce à butter dès la levée. Plantez aussi des pommes de terre de conservation à butter dès que les plants atteignent une hauteur d'une vingtaine de centimètres. Plantez du topinambour. Terminez les plantations d'échalotes et d'ail. Éclaircissez vos semis de légumes-racines. Repiquez du céleri-rave. En région douce, plantez de l'oca du Pérou. Ailleurs, patientez jusqu'au 15 mai. Plantez du crosne sur un sol léger. jeudi 1er mai Jour fleurs

Plantez des cannas Au jardin d'agrément Poursuivez le nettoyage de vos massifs de plantes vivaces ainsi que la division des touffes les plus importantes. Plantez les vivaces achetées en godets. Plantez également des cannas, des dahlias et des glaïeuls. Et si vous habitez une région douce, plantez des pélargoniums, des bégonias et des œillets semés dans le courant du mois de janvier. Repiquez directement en pleine terre vos semis d'impatients ainsi que les pétunias soit en pot ou bien en jardinière. Taillez les arbustes défleuris comme par exemple le forsythia et le lilas. Au potager Plantez des choux-fleurs et des choux brocolis que vous avez semé au mois de février voire au mois de mars. vendredi 2 mai 2025 Jour fleurs / feuilles

Si vous habitez une région douce, plantez du pélargonium Au jardin d'agrément avant 9 heures en jour fleurs Poursuivez le nettoyage de vos massifs de plantes vivaces ainsi que la division des touffes les plus importantes. Plantez les vivaces achetées en godets. Plantez également des cannas, des dahlias et des glaïeuls. Et si vous habitez une région douce, plantez des pélargoniums, des bégonias et des œillets semés dans le courant du mois de janvier. Repiquez directement en pleine terre vos semis d'impatients ainsi que les pétunias soit en pot ou bien en jardinière. Taillez les arbustes défleuris comme par exemple le forsythia et le lilas. Au jardin potager avant 9 heures en jour fleurs Plantez des choux-fleurs et des choux brocolis que vous avez semé au mois de février voire au mois de mars. Au jardin potager à partir de 9 heures passage en jour feuilles Plantez des choux pommés, des choux frisés et des choux de Bruxelles semés au mois de mars. Plantez des aromatiques comme par exemple du thym, de la sarriette et du romarin. Rabattez la sauge officinale de moitié minimum. samedi 3 MAI 2025 Jour feuilles

Taillez la sauge officinale Au jardin potager Plantez des choux pommés, des choux frisés et des choux de Bruxelles semés au mois de mars. Plantez des aromatiques comme par exemple du thym, de la sarriette et du romarin. Rabattez la sauge officinale de moitié minimum. dimanche 4 mai 2025 Je rappelle que les jours prévus par le calendrier lunaire seront pour que vous ayez une idée des périodes de plantation ou de semis car vous devrez faire face aux variations climatiques (pluie, neige, Etc..). Ceci pour vous dire que vous serez obligé parfois de déroger au calendrier lunaire pour cause de mauvais temps.

Read the full article

[obtainhigh]

Creme Cream Topical Lavender 2oz by Creme De Canna

Elevate your self-care routine with Crème De Canna’s Crème Cream Lavender, a luxurious cannabis-infused topical designed to nourish your skin while delivering powerful therapeutic relief. Packed with 607mg total cannabinoids, including 472mg THC and 134mg CBD, this full-spectrum formula harnesses the anti-inflammatory benefits of THCa and CBD to target pain, inflammation, and irritation effectively. Infused with a calming lavender scent, this cream not only relieves sore muscles, arthritis, and psoriasis symptoms but also provides a relaxing, spa-like experience. The shea butter base ensures deep hydration and effortless absorption into the skin, making it perfect for tackling mild skin irritations, scars, and more. Sourced from Crème De Canna’s locally grown cannabis in the scenic Santa Cruz County, this formula reflects their commitment to quality and sustainability. Crème De Canna, a legacy and social equity brand, sets the standard for cannabis therapeutics. With vertically-integrated operations and a focus on environmentally friendly practices, their products have earned industry recognition, including features in HIGH TIMES Magazine. Discover the soothing power of Crème Cream Lavender and let its premium ingredients and gentle aroma transform your wellness routine. Order directly from this page to experience natural healing and luxurious care like never before! Read the full article

[stoned-btw]

my partner's view today. she baked muffin top cookies and ate them with canna butter all day

[getbudslegalize]

How to Make Cannabis Truffles: 3 Easy Flavorful Recipes to Try

How to Make Cannabis Truffles: 3 Irresistible Flavor Options (Mexican, Turkish Coffee, and Chinese 5-Spice)

Chocolate truffles are the ultimate indulgence—rich, velvety, and flavorful. When infused with cannabis butter, they transform into the perfect edible: discreet, easy to dose, and delicious. Whether new to making edibles or a seasoned pro, these cannabis-infused chocolate truffles will make you the star of any gathering.This guide will show you how to create three irresistible flavor variations: Mexican Chocolate, Turkish Coffee, and Chinese 5-Spice. These unique twists will delight your taste buds and elevate your cannabis experience.Ready to dive in? Let's get started!

Cannabis Chocolate Truffle Recipe: The Perfect Base for Flavorful Variations

- Total Time: 4 hours 20 minutes (Active Time: 20 minutes) - Serves: Makes about 20 truffles - Approximate Dosage: 10mg THC per truffle - 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream - 1 2/3 cups dark chocolate (chopped) - 2 tablespoons cannabis butter (use a homemade or store-bought version with 20% THC potency) - Dark Chocolate: Use high-quality dark chocolate with 60–70% cocoa content for a smooth texture and balanced sweetness. Avoid overly sweet chocolate, as it can overpower the infused flavors. - Cannabis Butter: Homemade cannabis butter allows you to control potency, but store-bought cannabis butter works too. The recommended dosage is based on 2 tablespoons of butter containing 20% THC potency. Learn how to make cannabis butter here. - Heavy Whipping Cream: For a dairy-free option, substitute with full-fat coconut cream or a plant-based alternative. Correlated Articol:

Sativa vs Indica Edibles: What’s the Difference and How to Choose

3 Cannabis-Infused Truffle Flavors: Mexican, Turkish Coffee, and Chinese 5-Spice

Mexican Chocolate TrufflesSpicy and rich, these Mexican chocolate truffles offer the perfect balance of heat and sweetness, making them a standout treat.Ingredients:- 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon - 1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper - 2 tablespoons vanilla extract - 2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (for a smooth, rich finish) - Prepare the Truffle Base: Melt the dark chocolate and cannabis infused butter in a heatproof bowl over simmering water or in the microwave. - Flavor the Chocolate: Stir in the ground cinnamon, cayenne pepper, and vanilla extract into the melted chocolate mixture. - Form the Truffles: Chill the mixture in the fridge for 4 hours until firm enough to scoop. Roll into balls and coat with cocoa powder.

Turkish Coffee TrufflesThese Turkish coffee truffles feature a rich, aromatic blend of coffee and cardamom, paired perfectly with cannabis for an unforgettable edible experience.Ingredients:- 1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom - 2 tablespoons coffee liqueur - 2/3 cup finely chopped pistachios (for a crunchy, nutty finish) - Prepare the Truffle Base: Melt the dark chocolate and cannabis butter in a heatproof bowl over simmering water or in the microwave. - Flavor the Chocolate: Stir in the ground cardamom and coffee liqueur into the melted chocolate mixture. - Form the Truffles: Chill the mixture in the fridge for 4 hours until firm enough to scoop. Roll into balls and coat with chopped pistachios. Chinese 5-Spice TrufflesInfused with a unique blend of spices and bourbon, these Chinese 5-Spice truffles offer a flavorful adventure for your taste buds.Ingredients:- 1/2 teaspoon Chinese 5-Spice powder - 2 tablespoons bourbon whiskey - 2/3 cup confectioner’s sugar (for a light, sweet coating) - Prepare the Truffle Base: Melt the dark chocolate and canna butter in a heatproof bowl over simmering water or in the microwave. - Flavor the Chocolate: Stir in the Chinese 5-spice powder and bourbon whiskey into the melted chocolate mixture. - Form the Truffles: Chill the mixture in the fridge for 4 hours until firm enough to scoop. Roll into balls and coat with confectioner’s sugar.

Customization Ideas for Your Cannabis Truffles

These recipes are just the beginning—let your imagination run wild! Here are some additional ideas to personalize your cannabis chocolate truffles and explore creative cannabis dessert ideas:- Add orange zest and sea salt to the base for a citrusy twist. - Incorporate chopped nuts, dried fruits, or shredded coconut for extra texture. - Experiment with coatings like crushed cookies, toasted coconut, or freeze-dried raspberries for a pop of color and flavor. - Mexican Chocolate Truffles: Pair with hot chocolate or spiced chai for a warming experience. - Turkish Coffee Truffles: Serve alongside a shot of espresso or black coffee. - Chinese 5-Spice Truffles: Enjoy with a glass of bourbon or oolong tea for a complementary flavor profile.For special occasions, drizzle the truffles with melted chocolate or add edible gold flakes for an elegant presentation. These truffles also make wonderful gifts—package them in decorative boxes or tins for a thoughtful touch.

Dosing Tips and Cannabis Information

Calculating THC DosageThe potency of your truffles depends on the strength of your cannabis butter. To calculate the dosage, use this formula:- Total THC in Butter (mg) / Total Servings = Approximate THC per Truffle: For example, if your cannabis butter contains 1000 mg of THC and you’re making 20 truffles, each one will have 50mg of THC. - Start with one truffle, wait 1–2 hours, and assess how you feel before consuming more. - Always listen to your body and avoid overconsumption. - Edibles can take longer to take effect compared to smoking or vaping cannabis. - Store your cannabis truffles in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to two weeks to maintain their freshness and flavor. - For optimal long-term storage, freeze the truffles for up to three months to preserve their freshness and flavor. - When ready to enjoy, simply thaw them at room temperature or in the fridge, and they’ll be just as delicious as the day you made them.

Conclusion: Your Go-To Guide for Weed Chocolate Truffles

Making cannabis-infused chocolate truffles is a fun and creative way to enjoy edibles. With three unique flavor variations—Mexican Chocolate, Turkish Coffee, and Chinese 5-Spice—you can take your cannabis experience to the next level.Start slow, enjoy the process, and share these delightful treats with friends and family. You’ll be the star of any gathering with these delicious and potent cannabis truffles.Ready to make your cannabis truffles? Try these irresistible flavor combinations and let us know which one is your favorite! Read the full article