the way you said “i love you” (allurance)
The ways he said he loved her:
(as a hello) on an early morning in the training room when everyone else is asleep, he’s sitting against the wall with sweat beading along his forehead, shoulders heaving forward with each breath. She hands him a water pouch, and a wide smile stretches across his face. “Oh my god, I love you!” he exclaims. Something stirs inside her. Those words, Allura thinks, I like them.
(with a hoarse voice, under the blankets) as she collapses against his chest, Lance winds an arm around her waist, pulling her close, and runs a hand through her sweat-tangled hair. “I love you,” he whispers lowly, and she sinks into him.
(a scream) echoes on as strong hands grip his shoulders and tug him away from her, onto the enemy ship, until he’s disappeared among a sea of purple. His eyes are wide with something furious, something fearful. “I-I love you!” Lance yells above the battles cries. “W-Whatever happens, don’t ever forget that!” Her hand, warm and sticky blood, reaches out to him.
(over a cup of tea) that he brewed, Lance smiles at her. “You’re going to love this,” he tells her and places it in front of her. “Hunk got these flowers from the Space Mall, and it tastes kind of how I think juniberries would.” With hesitant hands, she picks it up and takes a sip of the concoction, surprised by the sweet taste that shocks her system. It’s close, she reckons, but his smile is closer.
(over a bottle of beer) that he downs like cough syrup, something bitter but guaranteed to make him feel better, his confession slips out for the first time. “I’m in love with you,” he hiccups and stares up at her with bleary eyes. He laughs and shakes his head, but it sounds all wrong—so, so wrong. “But I can never tell you sober. I’m too much of a coward.” She doesn’t know which shocks her more because Lance has always been one of the bravest men she’s ever met, and he’s been telling her this with everything he does for the last couple months. I already know, she wants to tell him, but at this point, he’s too far gone to remember
(on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in his hair), he lays back in the Olkarion grass, hands pillowing his head. “God, I’m so in love,” he says. “We haven’t had a chance to relax like this in a long time.” Allura joins him on the ground of the grassy knoll overlooking the palace, but she stays silent. I’m in love too, she doesn’t say.
(as a thank you) when he bends over, gasping for air after an intense training session, he drops his broadsword on the ground. “I love training with you,” he says, wiping the sweat from his brow. “We make a great team.” Allura laughs and tells him to pick up his sword because she isn’t done whipping him into shape just yet.
(as an apology) whispered into the crook of her neck, she stands in the corridor while Lance throws his arms around her in a tight embrace. “I love you.” His voice is hoarse. “But I have to do this.” He turns on his heel and heads towards the Lion, ready to embark on some suicide mission in the name of his damned pride, and she’s left at the end of the hall with shaky hands and angry tears. How can he think his life is so worthless when it means so much to her?
(when baking chocolate chip cookies) during their first visit to Earth, they’re cramped into his family’s small kitchen as he ponders over a recipe book. “I love eating the dough, and you need to try some,” he’s saying, biting his lip, “So we have to double the recipe to make sure we have enough to make the actual cookies. But I can’t remember how much sugar I’m supposed to add.” Sleeves rolled up, toned forearms crossed against his chest, he looks so serious, and Allura doesn’t know what pushes her to dip her hand into the bowl of flour and paint streaks of white across his face. He stares at her in shock before a laugh falls from his lips, and they’re at war.
(not said to her) because the mice enter her room, spinning tales of Lance and their adventures that day, and tell her a secret she’s not supposed to know. He loves you, and her heart lurches into her throat. Thoughts of Lotor and their almost-kiss crowd her mind, but it all disappears when she pictures Lance and his blue eyes. She wonders when she committed his them to memory.
(with a shuddering gasp) the night of her coronation, buried under a mound of blankets softer than anything in the universe, but they don’t care about luxuries when they finally have the most precious treasure of all right next to them. “I-I love you,” and his voice sounds broken, but she knows that’s not the case. Beneath him, hands clawing down his back as she fights desperately to hold on, Allura knows that Lance has never been stronger, and neither has she.
(when they lay together on the fresh spring grass) after meeting his family for the first time, Lance sighs and nudges her side. “You know, being home makes me realize how much I miss it, but honestly…” His voice trails off, soft and cracking. “I love being in space with you and the others more. I-I think I know that’s where I’m meant to be.” She curls up next to him and doesn’t say a word. And, why should she? She thinks the exact same thing.
(in a letter) it’s the handwriting she remembers from hastily scrawled in the corner of battles plans and post-its on the fridge to remind Hunk to buy ‘more of the pink stuff’ from the Space Mall. The diplomatic mission to Kairmarian is going well, they’re set to join the Coalition, the girls are smokin’ hot, and there’s a cheeky With love, Lance written on the end that makes her smile. My Blue Paladin, she thinks to herself as Shiro and the others groans in exasperation, what am I going to do with you?
(a whisper in the ear) comes as strong arms loop around her waist and pull her body against a warm chest. “I love you,” Lance says from the shadows of the corner, tucked away from seeing eyes and hearing ears. His lips press a quick kiss to the hollow behind her ear, and shivers rocket down her spine. Their relationship, while still new, burns hot, but they’re still doing everything in their power to keep it a secret. For now, this is theirs, and theirs alone. No one else has to know.
(loud, so everyone can hear), Lance’s voice bounces reverberates throughout the space. “I’m in love with Allura, okay?” he says, the words thundering. “I love Allura, that’s right. I. LOVE. HER. I’m in love with her!” His eyes are flashing wildly with an emotion she can’t quite name, but does it even matter? Without another word, in front of the whole team, she walks over to him and embraces him tightly. “I love you,” he says, this time softly. She presses her lips to his in a slow kiss, and Pidge’s voice echoes above them all: “I just thought you guys were doing it! I didn’t know you were in love!”
(over and over again, till it’s nothing but a senseless babble), he chants the phrase, “I love you, I love you, I love you!” while spinning her around in circles. Her bayard transforms back into its passive state and falls to the ground as she laughs and laughs, throwing her arms around him. “I’m so proud of you! You did it!” he continues to cry, and in the shadow of the Galra’s surrender, she can’t wipe the smile off her face. The universe is saved, there’s work to be done, but all she cares about is him.
(when the broken glass litters the floor), she steps around it, eyes still blazing. “I love you,” he whispers, “But I can’t be with you.” She slides down the wall until she sits beside him, and he smells like the whiskey he favors. “You’re going to be Queen, and the universe needs you. I can’t be who you need.” Tears slip down her cheeks, slow and thick like candlewax. It’s not fair. I want to be with you, she thinks, You don’t get to decide what I need when the person I need is you.
(from very far away), his voice crackles in over the communication systems. “A-And…ifff….zzzzst chance to zzzzay… l-lovvvvvuh ooh.” In the distance, the Galra cruiser explodes in an array of colors, and Lance’s signal cuts out. The rest of the team cries out in panic, but Allura remains stoic and still, refusing to say anything to disturb her quiet reverie. Because that would prove that Lance is truly gone.
(with no space left between them), the words tumble between them easy and free. “I love you,” he tells her, and the metal of the ring burns with a cold fire on her finger. Overcome with elation, she captures his lips with her own, and everything is perfect.
(as they huddle together, the storm raging outside), Allura squeezes his hand to get his attention. “What’re you thinking about?” she asks him softly. Tilting his head, he stares at the rain pounding against the window pane. “Just… how much I love you, and how I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much.” He flashes him a quick smile. “Sometimes I feel like I might burst from it.” There’s quiet as she hums in agreement and intertwines their hands together in her lap. “What would you say if I offered you another outlet for it?” He quirks an eyebrow high in confusion. “What do you mean?” Allura thinks of Lance, his lightning-quick smiles, and his eyes, flecked grey like a summer rainstorm, and wonders what their child will look like.
(over his shoulder) he whispers to her, “Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Because they’re a room full of Galra hungry for Altean blood, who won’t let her rule without a fight, and Lance refuses to stand aside. Allura tightens her hands into fists at her side and prepares for battle.
(muffled, from the other side of the door), his voices come through. “Come on, Allura, please let me in. I love you.” She shudders at his words as they echo through their shared bedroom, too afraid to flip the lock and let him in. “I wasn’t trying to sacrifice my life, but the fate of the universe was at risk. Would you rather have had me let everyone else die?” She doesn’t answer because her heart is screaming in her chest, banging against her rib cage like a wild animal to be let out. Allura doesn’t know what she would say to him, but when his life means everything to her, she can’t speak her peace without there being some sort of repercussions. So she lets him keep screaming, and she keeps crying, because they are both two souls willing to put their lives on the line even when they mean the universe to each other. It’s a hard hand to handle.
(through a song) as he strums the guitar, a smile stretches across his face as he reminisces. “My dad used to sing this song to my mother,” he tells her, smooth baritone slipping into song as the key switches into a familiar chorus. She’s heard him hum this around the castle: as he walks down the deserted halls, in the Paladin seat to pass the time, in the kitchen as he cooks. Her heart throbs in her chest, and she realizes belatedly, oh, I think I might love you.
(without really meaning it), the words slip from his lips without a purpose as she peers up at him with a whipped cream mustache from the milkshake he’d concocted. “Oh my god, you’re so great,” he says breathlessly, body shaking with laughter, “I love you.” Allura stills, smile frozen on her face as the weight of it crashes over her. “You love me?” she asks. A red flush creeps up the back of Lance’s neck, dusting the tips of his ears, and he’s stumbling out of the kitchen as he stammers out, “N-No, I d-didn’t say anything, nothing to hear here, nope, no, thank you, please come again!” She reaches out a hand, the smile on her face growing larger, and all she can think is how much she wants to hear him say it again.
(as a blissful sigh as he falls asleep) among the sweat-tangled sheets, Allura pauses in the doorway of his bathroom as it reaches her ears, “I love you.” Suddenly, the bruises on her hips and the marks on her neck ache something awful. She pulls the sheet tighter around her naked body, bites her bottom lip, and tries to pretend like she didn’t hear a damn thing because he’ll most likely deny it come morning and wax poetic about what a mistake they’d made. What does it matter? She closes her eyes, fighting back tears. If we still can’t be together?
(broken, as he clenches the sleeve of her jacket and begs her not to leave), his voice turns hoarse “P-Please, I’m sorry, I love you. Just… don’t go, please.” But the words cut into her life a knife, twisted and tainted, and she finds herself just wanting to stitch the wound shut. “You tell me you love me, but what does that mean?” she snaps, eyes flashing wildly in the dim light of the hallway. “I can’t keep falling into your bed, falling for you, and into whatever this relationship is if it isn’t going anywhere!” This time she steps close, bodies pressed against him, and fixes him with a stern gaze. “I’m expected to lead this universe, and I want you with me. If you really love me, then let’s be together. If not, then leave me alone.”
(a taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at his lips), he puts his hands on his hips and levels her with heavy eyes. “Look, I love you, but there’s no way you’re getting me into that stupid monkey suit for your coronation.” Allura quirks an eyebrow high as Lance shakes his head, crossing his arms against his chest. “I’d like to see you try, honestly.” The next morning, he stands at her side with a grimace as the universe chants her name, and she slides a hand into his back packet with a sly smile.
(when she is dead), there’s a video that plays on the broadcast screen. The video is ancient, a product of time that history would rather forget, but it’s still important. The image is blurred but it’s her—at a time when she was young and vibrant in the Golden Age of her rule—doing something as mundane as brushing her teeth in front of the bathroom mirror, her hair piled in a messy bun and eyes still heavy with sleep. “Allura, look at the camera!” a voice from behind the recorder cries out, catching the Queen’s attention. “Come on, don’t be mad, you know I’m only doing this cause I love you.” Her own voice is heard, full of static, but still clear. “Don’t you have some cadets to annoy?” Lance’s laugh is loud and happy, like he’s standing in the same room as the viewer. “No, this is important. Don’t you want the universe to remember you doing the mundane things? There’s more to you than just leading armies and saving planets.” Allura tugs on her husband’s shirt, pulling him close, and the camera is discarded on the bathroom counter. The reflections in the mirror kiss, deeply and passionately, and then Lance is pulling away to whisper in her ear, “Happy birthday, baby.”
(slowly, the words dripping from his tongue like honey), he spells out the truth she’s waited desperately to hear. “I love you, and I just want to be with you.” He runs a hand through her hair, eyes softening as he presses his forehead against her. “If you think I’m worthy enough to help you lead this universe, then I’ll do it. So… So long as it means I get to be with you.” For a moment, Allura is dumbstruck because it’s everything she’s ever wanted to hear, and she’s in awe of how stupid he is sometimes. Don’t you know how good you are? she wants to tell him, even if he won’t believe it. However, there is a time for that in a future that they’ll share, so for now, she embraces him tightly and thanks every deity she knows for giving her Lance.
(too quick, mumbled into his scarf), she asks him to say it again. A light pink dusts the tips of his ears as Lance clears his throat. “I said, ‘I love you, please go out with me.’” Flabbergasted, Allura can only stare at him. “B-But we’re in the middle of a war!” she exclaims. Instead of answering, Lance simply shrugs, that stupid scarf falling off one shoulder with the movement. “So? That just means we aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow. And considering we might die when we take on Haggar tomorrow, I figure now’s as good of a time as ever.” Allura is silent, and he fingers the frayed ends of his sleeves, refusing to look at her. There’s a short pause, the span of a single heartbeat, and then she’s dragging him close by the scarf to kiss him.
(in awe, the first time he realized it), he tells her one day. “You were laughing, and all I could think is how I wanted to hear you laugh forever.” She raises her head, a question on the tip of her tongue, but he answers it before she has a chance to voice it. “I knew how strong you were and that you didn’t need me to protect you, but I knew that I would do whatever it took to keep you safe, just so other people could hear you laugh too, because then they’d fall for you just like I did.”
(in a way she can’t return), he tells her by locking her in her bedroom, sneaking away in the middle of the night with a stolen escape pod, and tries to die for her to save the universe. His actions have always been louder than his words, which is a feat unto itself. He loves her, deeply and desperately, and would risk everything to save her. She knows this and feels the same way. But she can’t return the favor if there’s no one there to die for.
(on a post-it note) his messy handwriting adjourns the neon green paper on their fridge. Holding their sleeping daughter in her arms, she lets a soft smile stretch across her face as she reads them. Gone to defend the universe, be back for dinner, love you both <3.
(before they jump) he grabs her hand and yells above the explosions as the Galra ship crashes towards the planet below, “If we survive this, I’m gonna marry the hell out of you!” She squeezes back and screams, “Took you long enough to ask!”
(as a goodbye) when he has one hand on the doorframe and his back to her, Lance smiles that awful broken, cracked thing. “They won’t let some boy from Cuba rule with you, you know. I love you, but I’m doing you a favor. Maybe it’s best if we end this before it gets worse.” Allura’s eyes glint angrily from her spot on the bed. “You’re making a mistake,” she tells him, but he leaves anyway.
(and when she told him) with that soft, sad smile, wrapped in the sheets the first morning after. “I’m going to love you forever,” she says to him, asleep and blissfully unaware. “Just try to stop me.”
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