#cancelling my subscription i fucking guess

[brizzlovesyou]

so let me get this straight, out of two of netflix's most popular shows:

one decides to kill a fan favorite character, who was abused his entire adolescence and then put through a season of trauma porn

the other decides to use ai and deepfakes to bring back a character whose actor died twenty years ago. and then also kill a kid.

oh and both shows weaponized crazy character assassination before they pulled out those disrespectful moves. hope that company fucking burns.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[mindrell]

So I watched first two episodes of the Amazon Prime series they made of the yakuza series and I have some thoughts;

I feel like lot of people already had not so great expectations of it upon learning how it differs from the source material (can you really blame them when it comes to the adaptions based on videogames though?), I actually like it so far, but I can't but wonder if this was necessary?

Like I haven't watched many Yakuza movies so I can't comment on how unique or interesting of the plot is compared to your usual Japanese gangster movies, but like I wish we could get something else for a change. Don't get me wrong, I love Kiryu and his story, how it starts and his relationship with Nishkiyama, Haruka and the Yakuza itself but if you're making a series based on the games' characters, why not choose the ones we didn't get to see that much? I would love to see how Kazama got where he is or Sera, hell, show me young Kazama and Kashiwagi, how he got his scar and their struggles with climbing up the ladder! Even the people who played the games wouldn't be familiar with the story, it would he brand new and so both new comers and already existing fans could dive into it.

That been said I do really like how Nishki and Kiryu become Yakuza to pay off the debt, Kazama seems like a better dad figure here since he seems like he's actually trying to shield them from joining the organisation. It's been a while since I played Yakuza 0 but from what I remember he kinda resists but let's them in the family anyway like... did you try ?? Girlypop wtf they are dumb young people, ofcourse they are going to glamourise that sort of thing.

In the first episode I feel like I could barely see what was going on in the heist scene but other than that I think the sets are really cool, lots of blood and punching sounds very cool. 👍 The fight after Kiryu gets out of the prison seems but rehearsed (so nice of them to wait for Kiryu to finish beating up their friend before they attack lol) but then again I'm not fight choreographer so, maybe it was actually good and I just don't understand it lol

I really like the idea of Yumi and Miho joining them in Kamurocho, since my biggest gripe in the games were that we are kinda just told that Yumi is Kiryus true love but we never see girlie do anything. I'm sorry it's hard to care for her because we never get to see their relationship properly, I don't know this girl??? They are in love with her I guess cool. So I hope we get to see them in the upcoming episodes 🙏

I also liked them having their little messy home together, it really feels like it's their little taste of freedom before things go south for them.

I wish they had casted someone properly smelly looking middle aged man to play Date, he kinda got yassified imo.

When they mentioned Majima and Taiga I just went "!!!", I would love seeing Saejima somewhere else than just prison. But I wonder how it will affect Majima as a character, since one thing that made him truly tragic is that he had lost everything... But obviously if Taiga is here, then how did things end up going in this version of the story? Now I'm realising I didnt look properly whether Majima has two eyes in the Amazon Prime series but if he doesn't, how would he lose his other eye in this version..?

I like that they didn't just delete Haruka. I hope they handle her well.

I feel like I'm forgetting something I wanted to mention but this is a lot of text already so, if you read this all: I'm very glad and im going to give you big smoochie, we are holding hands now yay ❤

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

This might be the thing that makes me actually cancel my Netflix subscription

[they-didnt-last]

i just found out netflix canceled lockwood & co..... i don't even have the words to describe how angry i am

[forlornmelody]

Yes, Titans got canceled. And yes, I'm very upset about it.

[boowritess]

part 2 lol

so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.

141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader

and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.

who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.

and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-

"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."

"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"

- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*

(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)

and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.

but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like

"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.

enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...

and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...

"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."

"and you do this often...? crazy."

but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*

and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.

you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-

"why're you pulling that face?" 141

"that's... that's just my focusing face..."

"oh..." 141 feels bad

then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!

"can i just wait in the car?"

"no." price

"i'm gonna vomit."

"aim at the enemy." ghost

people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.

they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.

"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."

"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."

"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."

your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.

with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.

"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"

"...that's not how it works..." rando.

"fuck."

and maybe you try...

like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...

"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"

"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused

"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."

"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."

and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that

idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.

bonus*

"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost

a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7

[fingertipsmp3]

I feel like a character in a Herman Melville short story. Except that he never writes women so that’s not even accurate

[lesbiandarvey]

i think i fucked up real bad

[three--rings]

The thing I can't help thinking about in the wake of yet another preemptive TV show murder, is how terribly BAD these execs are at Making Money!

Like, okay, you have a show with great word of mouth and a loyal and passionate fanbase...

Do you make that show available to be paid for all over the world? No. If people outside the US want it, they can pirate it I guess.

Do you give people the opportunity to pay you twice by releasing physical copies?

No.

Do you merchandise the FUCK out of this property you own, that was the most popular new fandom on AO3 for a year?

No. Oh wait, after a year they released a couple T-shirts.

Being in Chinese fandoms has forever changed my idea of what actual people who want your money look like. Trying to watch a Chinese show? Cool, there's a partner to take your subscription fee for wherever you are in the world and episodes are released same day in most cases.

Want merch? Good cause you're going to get literally every type of possible merch from cheap plastic stuff to fashion lines and fine jewelry and candles and books and soundtracks and collector's editions, and it will keep coming for years and years.

Like, how do these people think Star Wars makes money? It's not tickets or Disney + subscriptions. It's fucking merch.

You could have SO MUCH MONEY if you wanted to actually make it. But what you want isn't money, it's Amorphous Cool Points you can turn into temporary stock increases and a better CEO job.

These networks have no interest in building fandoms and properties that continue to rake in cash over time. They just want to keep rolling the dice until they suddenly get a lightning strike of the biggest show in the world, and if it doesn't happen they lose interest.

And fewer and fewer people watch their new shows because they know it'll be two seasons and then cancelled unfinished like every other fucking thing.

These people are SO BAD AT CAPITALISM and it OFFENDS ME.

[nastyaromatherapy]

Footlong (18+)

Ethan, a boy you bullied in highschool, sees you at a frat party and is hungry for revenge.

saw (this fic) and was like damn, i need an extended version of this.

pairing - dom!ethan landry x bully!reader

one shot length, 1.9k+ word fic

warnings: PIV, creampie, mentions of sh, degradation, tara reader and quinn are all bitches, big dick ethan

“Ethan? Please. I bet he’s never even held hands with a girl.” You quipped to Tara when his name aroused in a game of Fuck Marry Kill. Quinn quickly disagreed, “I bet- No, I know he’s packing. Haven’t you seen the outline in his khakis?” You internally bleh-ed at her wandering eyes. “Quinn, you fucking horndog,” you joked, leaning back in your chair and contemplating the original question: Fuck Mary Kill, Chad, Ethan, Frankie. “Fuck Chad, Marry Ethan, Kill that motherfucker Frankie.”

“Swap Ethan and Chad, then agreed,” Quinn said. Suddenly Ethan walked in in the khakis Quinn was talking about earlier, finding his seat in the back of the class. “Speak of the devil,” Tara tsked. “Yo, Ethan,” you called out. His eyes flickered up to meet yours before quickly dropping back down. “C’mon, why the long face? I heard only fans should be back up tonight, and I’m sure the ladies miss you as much you miss them,” you fake pouted. He just rolled his eyes and focused on copying down notes he borrowed from some friends.

“Ethan!” Tara called out to him, only this time he didn’t look up. “Don’t mind y/n, she’s just nervous. She wants to invite you to her party tonight, wants to see this ‘big dick’ everyone’s gassing.” You smirked and found Tara’s comment as a perfect opening. “Yeah, Ethan, that true? That you hide a footlong in your khakis?” You asked him condescendingly, a flush already flooding his cheeks. “Oh, Ethan,” Quinn gasped, grabbing on the sides of her desk to rock it. “It’s too big, I can’t take it,” she moaned artificially.

Ethan slouched in his seat, wanting to be as far as possible from here.

He was though, he slouched in his seat on the couch at the frat party, beer can in hand. He saw you dancing with some of your friends who he’s never seen before, having not seen you since Highschool. Oh would vengeance be sweet.

He waited until you walked into the kitchen for a drink so that he could approach you without distractions. “Y/n l/n,” he said with false surprise, making you turn around with a gasp. He grew taller, his hair was more put together, he was just hotter. “What a surprise,” he smirked. “Footlong!” You smiled, the name stemming from the joke from 12th grade. “Ethan- sorry. Old habits die hard,” you said. “It’s all good just, surprised to see you here,” he spoke.

“You’re taller!” You said awkwardly, gesturing your hands towards his figure. “Yeah, I guess canceling all those only fan subscriptions helped me grow,” he joked self deprecatingly, sadly smiling. You sighed, hating apologizes. “Oh, yeah sorry about all that. It was just a joke,” you said in the most tone deaf way possible. “Hey I mean, at least those were all rumors. It’s not like it came out that I had a threesome with Paul Keene and his cousin and it turned out to be very true.” Your eyebrows furrowed and your lips twisted into a snaky expression.

“Yo what the fuck is your problem?” You asked him as your temper rose. “Just taking a trip down memory lane,” he smirked before taking a sip of his beer, then wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You looked at him with utter disgust for his remarks about the past. “Okay, my bad. You have gotten sexier though,” he said, empty hand reaching for your side.

You inched closer, giving into his touch. “Oh yeah?” You asked as you let his feel up your side. “Yeah,” he confirmed before finally landing a grip on your waist, pulling you in close. “You wanna dance?”

You led him to the dance floor to engage in some tipsy dancing. He wasn’t the best, was a little stiff, but you were there to help him out. You grinded on him as his hands rested at your hips. Ethan groaned as he felt his erection slowly growing as your ass rubbed against him.

“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing you by your wrist, and you complied to follow him up the stairs. He slammed you against the paneled wall and kissed you hungrily, groaning into your mouth. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t at least a littler turned on by this, your stomach churning.

You slowly slipped your tongue into his mouth, moaning into the kiss as his hands reached to fumble with your tits.

“Fuck,” he said after pulling away, wiping the extra slobber on his face with his palm. He grabbed you by your hand this time, leading you into an empty bedroom, being quick to lock the door.

“So, Footlong,” you started while walking into the room. “We gonna test if the rumors true? And I’m gonna guess you’re a virgin. Sex isn’t the same as porn, and girls aren’t like those cam girls I know you like to watch. Just to let you know.” He grimaced at your words, seeing that you obviously haven’t changed at all.

“Sad to see you haven’t changed,” he said. “Still a bitch,” he said with a smirk. “A sexy bitch,” you said. “According to your words.” Ethan was quick to correct you, “I said you were sexier, not sexy.” Your expression quickly faltered. “God I can’t believe I kissed you. You probably have herpes,” he said while wiping a hand down his face. “I-I don’t-”

“You know I used to burn myself? Almost everyday after school?” He asked, completely shifting the mood. Your face filled with shock, up until now unaware. “Ethan- I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me-” “Cause it was none of your fucking business!” He yelled, making you inch back a bit. “Just like it was none of your fucking business saying those things to me, knowing what I already had going on in my life.” He said, referring to the death of Richie and his father’s coping mechanisms.

“But I know why you’re here, y/n. It’s not because you like me, it’s not because you want to make up, it’s because you’re a fucking loud mouthed whore.” You opened your mouth to deny it, but you just couldn’t.

As he stood he started to unbuckle his pants, letting them drop to his knees. Your eyes grew wide at the visible bulge in his boxers, maybe not 12 inches, but still huge. “What? You need a step by step tutorial?” He asked, eyeing your blank expression. His words made you quickly snap out of it and get down so your knees touched the cold wood.

You tugged his boxers down, allowing his dick to spring out. He shallowly hissed at the cold air. Your mouth watered at the sight, he was perfect. You eagerly took the tip of him, feeling the rumbles of his groans. “That’s it, shut up and take it,” he grunted, slowly thrusting himself deeper into your throat. You rested your hands on his inner thighs and moaned on his length, finding yourself extremely turned on.

“Is this gonna be our secret? Are you gonna be too embarrassed to admit to your friends that you got face fucked by Ethan Landry?” He asked, his thrusts growing more aggressive. Your eyebrows contorted upwards, and with every thrust your mouth made a wet clicking sound.

You continued moaning around him from the pleasure of being used, eyes now glossy and red. Ethan slipped his hand down and pulled his cock out of your mouth, making you sigh from disappointment. “Stick out your tongue,” he softly demanded, and you quickly complied. “That’s a good whore,” he groaned as he jerked himself off over your tongue. You found yourself reaching your tongue up, just for a little taste. “Does the slut want my cum?” He asked, growing close, face completely red. “Yes,” you moaned. “Beg for it.”

You pouted, hungry for his cum. “Please cum for me, Ethan. I want your cum s’bad!” You whimpered out. Ethan threw his head back as he shot his cum directly in your mouth, a little making its way onto your lips. You licked it off your lips sluttily before swallowing all of it. Ethan tilted his head slightly, “Not even a thank you?” He asked, annoyed. “Thank you,” you corrected.

He looked down at you on the floor, eyeing you still in the dress. “Turn around.” After you turned to face away from him, he unzipped your dress to help you take it off, taking his shirt off as well. He hooked your black thong in his fingers and moved them to the side, eyeing your glistening pussy. He spit on it before giving your ass a slap, making you yelp and bounce forward.

“Face down,” he ordered, making you lay your face down on the cool floor. He took his cock and rubbed it up and down your pussy, leading you to whimper. “Please fuck me, Ethan,” you moaned. He slapped your ass again, “Yeah, you want my cock, slut?” You nodded furiously. “Please, need your cock in me,” you whined, pushing your ass back in an attempt to gain more friction.

“Fuck,” he groaned when he slid into you, grabbing a hold of your waist. “Ethan!” You moaned out. Never in a million years would you ever think that Ethan fucking Landry would be stretching you out. “That’s it, take my cock,” he groaned, ego boosting from how much you enjoyed it, from how you whimpered on his dick and clenched around him.

“So big,” you whispered, which he picked up on. “Yeah? You love my big dick stretching you out?” You nodded in response. “Yes, fuck I love your cock, Ethan!”

He got so much pleasure out of watching you submit for him, the girl who tormented him for years just from her words, going dumb on his cock. “Mm, slap my ass again please, it felt s’good,” you slurred out. He smiled and was quick to comply, leaving a red mark on your cheek. “Slut love when I smack her ass?” He asked smugly. “Mhm,” you whimpered.

Your eyes rolled back in your head as you struggled to find anything to grab onto, reaching for your discarded dress to scrunch in your hands. “Not gonna say anything bitchy?” He asked, thrusts growing deeper. “Where’d your confidence go? Fuck you’re pathetic,” he smirked. “Pathetic slut who likes getting her pussy ripped apart by absolutely anyone.” You moaned at his words, growing close as tears formed in your eyes.

“So close, Ethan,” you whined, your stomach twisting in the most pleasurable way. “Oh yeah? Beg for it,” he grunted, slamming into you harder. “Fuck- please let me cum Ethan, your cock feels s’good,” you begged, cunt squeezing his length so tight. “That’s a good fucking whore, cum on my cock,” he groaned. You released all over him, squirting for the first time.

The liquid spurted onto his thighs and the floor, making you feel somewhat humiliated. He continued to fuck you, having not came yet. You screamed from the overstimulation, moaning uncontrollably. “Fuck, oh fuck. Ethann,” you whined as he chased his own high.

“Fuck!” He groaned with one final slam, filling your cunt with his thick cum. He was quick to pull out and watch his cum slowly drip out of your pussy. “Come taste yourself,” he said. You shifted around and bent over to suck his dick, covered in a mix of yours and his cum. He cursed under his breath as you overstimulated his cock, grabbing your head and pushing you down on his length, throwing his head back, groaning as you deepthroated him. Then he lifted your head up to see your fucked out face, wet with sweat. “Be useful and open your legs.”

[cleolinda]

Another issue I have with the whole Evernote thing is that they asked me for $10.99 a month or $129 a year, but my mom opened it on her phone to see what was going on, and they asked her for $14.99 a month. They did this in a pop-up that blocked the rest of the app and had no visible way to close it. No x, no “not right now.” They made it look like you could either pay, or you could close the app. I managed to swipe it away, but there was no indication that you could or should do that—

And then a box came up that simply said “Cancel [or] Confirm.”

Cancel [or] confirm WHAT? That I’m paying? That I’m declining?

It turns out they meant “confirm that you’re leaving this ‘offer’ pop-up.” I guessed correctly. (I checked my mom’s subscriptions to be sure I hadn’t somehow “confirmed” payment.)

I then did the same on my phone—just got rid of the insistence that I pay—and I’m now able to access and edit all my documents just fine. (Being able to edit on my phone rather than sit up at a computer is a disability/accessibility issue for me.) I don’t want to tempt fate by trying to create a new document, but my guess is that they might restrict me from doing that now, since I’m over 50 (!) notes. Someone else can test that out, if they want. As is, they don’t seem to be freezing the documents I do already have.

My point is, though—that’s so fucking shady. Not only are they shaking us down for a lot of money—I might have considered paying half that much—but they’re making it look like you have no choice. That you can’t even access your existing documents (even just to copy them elsewhere!) unless you pay, when in fact you absolutely can. And that’s my OTHER big issue with Evernote making the service pretty much entirely paid: if you’re going to act like this, then I can’t trust you.

[isahorcrux]

In light of the recent announcement of the Harry Potter TV Show and the fact that this is primarily a Harry Potter fan fiction blog, the below needs to be said.

I am not excited about this show.

If you told my past self 5 years ago this, I’d be shocked.  Five years ago, if they announced a Harry Potter TV show I’d be doing everything in my power to be involved some way or another.  However, in the last five years JKR has shown her true colors and spent her free time and money attacking the trans community.  There are many reasons why I’m not excited about the show or looking forward to it in any regard, but to me the most important is that this show gives JKR more money and cultural capital to further her anti-trans agenda.  This is unacceptable.

I think a lot of us raised on Harry Potter really wanted to separate the art from the artist, dive further into fanfic and fandom and just ignore that the woman who created a world in which we’ve spent most of our lives escaping into.  However, we can’t do that.  It’s come to my attention over the past few days that a lot of people aren’t even aware of the active harm JKR is doing to the trans community.  Most people just say, ‘oh she said some weird stuff on twitter’ right?

Well, yeah.  But, did you also know she launched an active campaign against a reform bill that made it easier for trans people to legally change gender?  You know what happened?  The UK blocked that Bill and Scotland now has to launch a legal challenge to the government block.  She’s also funding a Sex Abuse Crisis Center that excludes trans women.  Yeah, that’s right.  She’s using her money from a book about love and acceptance to actively exclude a marginalized group from a crisis center.  She’s also publicly admitted via twitter that she funds anti-LGBTQ political activity in the UK.

So yeah, there’s a direct line of fans supporting official trademarked Harry Potter anything and that money directly harming transpeople.  Sorry for that rude awakening, but some of y’all are doing backflips to avoid seeing this.

Now, is there a way to prevent Warner Brothers (and Max, lol) from making this show?  Probably not?  After mergers and at a point when the tv and film industry isn’t booming, they need money.  You know what makes money?  Harry Potter.  Which is why they’re rebooting it.  Another question that’s been raised, will the looming writer’s strike affect this?  I would guess probably not?  Most UK writers (and International writers at large) are not in the WGA.  JKR has always wanted the most amount of British people involved in Harry Potter adaptations, so they’ll use the strike to find a UK writer and get them to work.

So what can we do?

Don’t watch the show.  Or, if you do.  Pirate it. In fact, cancel your Max subscription before the show launches.

They’re going to spend A LOT of money on this.  If the numbers aren’t there for them they will do what every other streamer does with an unsuccessful show and cancel it.  They announced 5 Fantastic Beast movies, and yet...where’s that last one?

Anyway, thanks for reading this whole thing if you’ve gotten this far.  Please share with friends who are excited about the show.  Please engage in meaningful discussions with other Potter fans.  Please support our trans friends and strangers.

Once again, this blog says FUCK JKR.

[bondagebimbo]

I'm only into women between 21-30 so when you're past fine breeding age I'm cancelling my subscription.

bro I’m getting sterilized soon anyways 🤣🤣🤣 there is no ‘fine breeding age’ for me, ever. you’re actually dense, huh? so I guess you might as well cancel it now because I’m past breeding age for you already since you can’t get me pregnant anyways 💀

also, you sound like a fucking predatory loser going for girls under 30 only, yikes, big BIG red flag. no wonder you don’t go after women your own age, they can absolutely see those flags through the rose colored glasses from over a mile away and steer clear 💀

[lucky-clover-gazette]

captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations

chapter 6

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

‘In case he found me pleasing, I was being trained for the Prince.’ ‘Were you?’ said Damen, with some interest. ‘Because of my colouring. You can’t see it in this light, but in daylight, my hair is almost blond.’ ‘I can see it in this light,’ said Damen. He could hear the approval saturating his own voice. He felt it shift the dynamic between them. He might as well have said, Good boy.

damen likes blondes moment #5, ft. damen’s vague slavery apologism. booooooooo

He should be in Akielos, where his training would be fêted and prized.

damen that’s fucked up. i know you don’t know that, but it is and you’ll figure it out

‘You were made for better masters than these. You deserve someone who appreciates your worth.’

context: slavery, in all forms, is wrong. the narrative knows this. damen does not.

It wasn’t possible that something like this was going to happen—that this court was so depraved that a mercenary could rape a royal slave a scant distance from the gathered court.

some really interesting questions about consent here. can sex under slavery be consensual? i say no. if a person does not have free will, they cannot freely give consent. 

but there is the sex scene between laurent and damen in book 2. that’s on damen’s last night of technically belonging to laurent—however, they both acknowledge that he really was never a slave, by training or behavior, and damen was given many opportunities to leave prior. so to me, it is very much consensual.

anyway, when damen suggests that the sex akielions have with palace slaves is consensual, it’s like… eh, no, i don’t think so. it’s still noncon, just with extra hidden steps and attempted justifications, as opposed to the blunt and unapologetic debauchery of vere (although i will note that in vere, the pets are not slaves, which damen seems to often ignore/forget). the slaves have been essentially trained their whole lives to always consent. that within itself is a violation of their human rights, and means that their verbal consent doesn’t even matter. basically: damen’s moral outrage here is justified, but it also exposes a massive blind spot in his perspective.

Without access to income from his various estates, Laurent’s retinue was substantially diminished and his spending curtailed.

this is so funny to me. laurent has to cancel several streaming service subscriptions because he’s losing income. no more hulu for you, broke boy

There had to be something he could do. There was nothing he could do.

lemony snicket-ass line

Very deliberately, he knelt, and bowed his head, and lowered his eyes to the floor. For a moment, it was so quiet that he could hear the flames from the torches fluttering in the air. ‘This is new,’ said Laurent.

‘Let me guess. You want me to take off your chains. Or reduce your guard. Or put you in a room where the doors and windows are unbarred. Don’t waste your breath.’

context: laurent still cannot conceive of damen being a noble or selfless person

‘Am I supposed to believe you care about their welfare? How exactly would they be treated better in Akielos? It is your barbaric society that forced them into slavery, not mine. I would not have thought it possible to train the will out of a man, but you have managed it. Congratulations. Your show of compassion rings false.’

he’s right! and it’s definitely notable that this comes from laurent, whose strong will is one of his defining characteristics. he feels more disdain for the complete depersonalization of akielion slaves, than for the contractual torment of pets in vere.

laurent and submission do not mix well, ideologically or in practice. when he chooses to be submissive, it’s in order to feel more in control. it’s like what amma says in sharp objects by gillian flynn: “sometimes if you let people do things to you, you’re really doing it to them.” akielion slaves have been conditioned not to question what they’re told to do, and that to laurent is probably more evil than forcing someone who knows that they don’t want something to do it anyway.

‘I don’t know if that is usual practice in this place, but good men don’t torture slaves in Akielos. Slaves are trained to obey in all things, but their submission is a pact: they give up free will in exchange for perfect treatment.’

i know his heart is in the right place, but maybe a pact involving a total loss of free will is just… not good under any conditions?

‘To abuse someone who cannot resist—isn’t that monstrous?’

oof. laurent trauma dramatic irony moment

Finally, Laurent said, ‘You overestimate my influence over my uncle.’ Damen began to speak, but Laurent cut him off. ‘No. I—’ Laurent’s golden brows had drawn slightly together, as though he had encountered something that did not make sense. ‘You would really sacrifice your pride over the fate of a handful of slaves?’ He had worn the same look on his face at the ring; he was gazing at Damen as though he was searching for an answer to an unexpected problem. ‘Why?’

context: this reminds me of the way that laurent offered to help nicaise and then realized he couldn’t, because his uncle has too much power over them both. he’s going through the same logical process here re: fulfilling damen’s request. he’s also confused as to why damen has made the request at all at all, because he still sees damen as selfish and immoral, while his request is undeniably selfless and moral. just like earlier, laurent pragmatically asks—“why?”

‘Because I am stuck here in this cage and I have no other way to help them.’

this is how laurent feels about nicaise. fuuuuuck

‘You think this is a trick,’ said Damen. He could see from the assessing look on Laurent’s face that he was right.

context: damen doesn’t realize it, but the fact that laurent is even looking into this is a total win. he is, in a very slight and cautious way, giving damen’s perspective serious consideration.

‘Something amuses you?’ Laurent. ‘What would I have to gain from—’ Damen broke off. ‘I don’t know how to convince you. You don’t do anything without a dozen motives. You lie even to your own uncle. This is country of deviousness and deception.’ ‘Whereas pure Akielos is free of treachery? The heir dies on the same night as the King and it is merely coincidence that smiles on Kastor?’

THIS CONVERSATION IS SO GOOD. both of their kingdoms suck. they’re both helpless and suffering as princes, and they could both make things better as kings. especially if they worked together! this has been here from the very start, it’s SO fucking good. the slow burn isn’t just romantic and sexual, it’s, like, intellectual. ideological. philosophical. amazing.

‘After you left,’ the guard said, ‘he got a visit from Govart.’ Laurent turned back to Damen, blue eyes like ice. ‘No,’ said Damen, knowing Laurent believed this now to be some scheme of his uncle’s. ‘It’s not what you think.’

context: they’re both acting reasonably here based on the information they’ve been given. the coincidence just sucks. damn uncle

[flutter2deceive]

Bitching about financials and job things under the cut

My company announced like 2 months ago that our jobs are being eliminated, but it's like this nebulous thing because they're outsourcing and we need to transfer all our products, so my end date isn't until 3/31/2026. Like that's so far in the future and I'm gonna get severence (at end date, i will have worked there for 20 years literally over half my life) + a retention bonus, so I'll be ok for a little while after the fact i think i hope

But anyway i decided to immediately start cost-cutting 2 months ago:

•canceled subscriptions (canceled hulu, paramount+ (i have a plex server hookup anyway), canceled ubereats (and also stopped ordering from them altogether), canceled or went down a level on my minimal patreon subs)

•signed up for Shell's rewards system (it's literally free and you save at least 20cents/gallon every single time and sometimes more without having to spend any money you just click a button and boom extra 10cents if you fill up on a specific day.)

•haven't done *any* fun online shopping or regular store shopping for that matter

•severely cut down my fast food spending (i'm sorry taco bell ily), and as my friends are in similar financial woes, we've stopped ordering food every weekend and opted to make cheap dinners where we each bring some small component like 1 brings pasta 1 brings sauce 1 brings garlic bread

•this isn't a recent change, but i never go out anywhere for like drinks or to see local comedy shows like i used to frequently do. I'm a homebody who goes into the office twice a week and goes to my best friend's house on saturdays and just sits at home the rest of the time

Even with all that!! My debit card is at $26, my 1 credit card is $3 away from its limit, the other is $21 from its limit. I *thankfully* get my paycheck at midnight, but like... woof!

Last paycheck i was down to less than $100 the day before as well. It's so mind-boggling to me that it's this bad. Partially because I've had some unfortunately-timed plumbing issues and had to pay a pricey deductible (but glad i have the insurance obv cuz of how much the total cost would've been otherwise.) But also partially cuz i feel like shit is so much more fucking expensive than it's ever been!! And the last gallon of milk i bought and properly refrigerated went sour like a full week before its expiration date.

I have a decent job and make pretty good money (for now at least.) I have made several cost-cutting measures recently. I feel like I don't *do* anything. And it literally doesn't matter!!

My best friend who has an equally comfortable job told me he had about the same amount of $ as me to last him til his next paycheck too.

And on top of the financial stress, i am so fucking stressed at work because no one knows what they're doing and i keep getting roped into things at the last minute with an IM that says "hey got time for a quick call?" And then i end up having to put together a complicated spreadsheet that is needed by end of week. Why didn't you fucking ask sooner than 2pm on a thursday?! Oh cuz someone who will still have a job at the end of this didn't do what they were supposed to? Ok sure I'll get right on that. And I do. I do get right on that and have it back to you within a couple hours. Because i stupidly care about my job.

Ugghhh i hate everything atm... Except i was able to livestream my favorite singer Terri Clark's debut concert at The Ryman tonight. And i have a ton of Fran/CC fanfics queued up to read. And the Ghosts discord is constantly coming up with the cutest scenarios for H$, my current otp. And i am off the entire next week because next Friday is my birthday. And my dog is snoring.

So i guess it hasn't been such a bad day after all, Charlie Brown... or some such sentimental nonsense 🙃🙃🙃