#can't tell if this is meant in a negative way but it feels a bit like that

[marzipanandminutiae]

you really have a take for everything, huh?

Yes, I have opinions and discuss them on my blog, like most people tend to!

Thank you for noticing!

[medicinemane]

Anyway, hope you're all doing well

I just... I haven't slept and also I've got like... 2-4 days of tumblr to catch up on... mostly to make sure I don't lose anything I want to keep requeuing

In many ways I'm probably doing better than I have been in a long time... maybe ever, but... I've got zero focus, I can barely watch youtube videos, I certainly can't play games... I can't get myself to clean... I don't know man

It's like... it's like my mind's empty except for some thick clear goopy sludge... it's like being over at a strange house sat alone in a big room waiting for people to come back... not wanting to touch anything so you just sit there staring and feeling out of sorts, except it's just constant in my own house in my own room... just saw Bart flop down in front of my door and realized I'm so out of it I forgot I had cats

It's like I'm living every moment in the moment, but not in a peaceful way, in a I'm untethered from reality and trying to figure out plans or how to deal with getting everything sorted out is just kinda painful kinda way

Then my mood... well... I kinda have no mood. I'm fucking numb if I'm honest. I have flavor opinions like "I'm worthless and should kill myself", but I actually don't even feel depressed right now, I feel nothing

I don't see much point to my future even if everything goes great, and I would like to kill myself, but I have zero interest in even considering it right now even though I have everything I need around if I just stand up and take a single step

So... much as it probably sounds like I'm just pure in the trash right now, I'm actually in many ways probably doing better than I ever have before... I'm just also real messed up right now at the same time

I don't feel hopeful, I never feel hopeful, but I do feel like I can maybe guide shit into a good position, it's just once again I figure that even if I do everything I want to with being able to help other people out and stuff, I'll still just kinda end up alone in a crowd

You know... funny thing is I'm thinking "the fuck is even the point I wanted to make?", and I realize... my point was actually that I'm doing pretty good and not to worry... not sure how well I'm selling it, but it's true

I hesitate to assign anything to myself, my stance on me and anything I can't conclusively say tends to be no comment... but if I were looking at someone else describing what I'm feeling in my position, I might be inclined to say burnout... months of having to be on and clean and manage everything and... all that... well it's one explanation, who knows if it's correct

Anyway though, I'm good, don't worry, know I do appreciate you all and wish I had more brain power to say more to more people... it's just maybe kinda sad that this is my version of doing good... the fuck is wrong with me if I wake up everyday feeling like I've been beaten with clubs... and for me this is kinda peak... what's that say about my baseline?

Doesn't matter, only thing to do is keep moving forward

Guess insomnia paired with not really being able to think, like words just kinda pop out with no planning... guess it makes me ramble real bad, this was supposed to be like one or two paragraphs being positive

It's a Beautiful World

[corvidcrossbow]

Daryl's the kinda guy to have a small table in the living room that has the puzzle he's been slowly working on for practically months set out on it – he delicately moves it in front of the couch then sits and silently works on it some evenings, expect for little grunts of understanding when he finally figures out a certain section he was stumped on.

He gets so flustered when you come over to look, standing beside the couch and rubbing his shoulder for a little bit while admiring his work, and he so shyly says a thanks, sheepishly reaching for the next piece while you watch for a little.

He likes to go do it some nights where he can't sleep and feels like he's gonna disturb you by just lying awake next to you in bed, usually when he's having a harder time emotionally – this gives him something to do rather than sulk, even though the thoughts still do get to him while he's working on it sometimes.

Oh god and once he probably went to do that, but Dog came over and had a bit too much energy and knocked the table just enough for everything to slide off and crumble to the floor, ruined.

He just sat there for a moment, looking at the 3d triangular shape his nearly finished puzzle landed in. He didn't even sigh in defeat; he just got up and trekked his way back to your bedroom, gently waking you up by crawling into your arms.

And he buried his head into your neck, breathing you in uneasily and trying to steady himself. But as you rubbed his back and scratched his scalp, asking him what's wrong, he couldn't help but cry a little cause he already felt so negative and now felt sort of crushed, the time and effort he put into that for nothing. It makes him feel stupid; like why is he crying over a damn puzzle? He's a grown man, in a fucking apocalypse. He doesn't have time to cry over something so childish, let alone be doing a puzzle in the first place.

But your soothing helped to wash away his self loathing, tenderly reminding him it's okay to be upset about those kinda things: that it may be small in the perspective of the world, but it meant something to him. He put his time and his effort into it, and that's what made it something big.

That made him cry harder, your confirmation that it's okay to cry, getting that allowance to. His father surely banned crying, even over major things like his moms death, telling him there's no reason for a man to ever cry – and every time he'd beat him he would repeatedly demand he stop crying, until he eventually did: and the only times he ever cried were when he'd escape to be deep in the forest, sit alone and let his walls down for a little before having to put them all back up and face his homelife again, and shamed himself for doing such in the first place.

You're what finally let him express his love for the little things, and express how he felt when bad things happen with said little things.

He definitely didn't have many toys growing up, so he turned to things like puzzles – secretly doing them in his room late at night then shoving them under his bed when he wasn't working on it cause he knew Merle or his dad would make fun of him for it or destroy it – so doing puzzles now heals his inner child, and it getting knocked over hurt him even more cause it brought him back to those memories.

This was not meant to get sad but now I'm tearyeyed at 4:30 am while writing this. He's just tryna mend the kid his childhood broke :(

[naomi-nana]

dating headcanons . wind breaker

headcanons of you and him when in a relationship.

featuring : umemiya hajime, hiiragi toma, kaji ren

cw : fluff, a little violence mentioned in kaji but not too heavy, f!rdr for hiiragi, ooc?? maybe

a/n : i kinda accidentally type too much about this but who cares anyways lol, might make another part because im obsessed with them

— UMEMIYA HAJIME :

- he'd be extra protective of you. he was already very protective over the people in the town, and now that you're his 'other half', as he calls it, he's going to be even MORE protective of you. but not in a weird way, but in like "make sure to tell me when you're home" way, and if you didn't tell him at all he will show up at your house and knock the door until someone opened it.

- he absolutely will spend his money just to get what you want. not in a rich guy way, but in like "oh you want that? sure, but wait for me to get the money, yeah?". you've told him countless of times that he doesn't have to get you what you want, but he insist on buying it for you.

- definitely likes to hold your hand in public. but if you're uncomfortable by it, he's not gonna force you and he will respect your boundaries. though he will not leave your side. even if he does, he'd still keep an eye on you.

- he is such an acts of service guy. will do anything you ask him as long as its not considered negative. he will cook for you, tie your shoelaces, will help you get something thats way too high for you to reach.

- will bother you about your interest. if you show interest in art, makeup, acting, singing, or anything, he will ask you about it. "oh really? what makes you like doing it?" he likes listening to you talk about your interest(or he actually just likes listening to your voice).

— HIIRAGI TOMA :

- he'd increase the amount of parfume he uses when he noticed you're around. he wears so much of it that umemiya can't help but cough everytime he walks past you and hiiragi. he would call umemiya overly dramatic about it.

- if you ask him to buy matching stuff, he'd be a little hesitant at first but he will agree to it. matching shirts? sure. matching bracelet? definitely. just make sure to not have umemiya around when you're wearing matching stuff unless you want hiiragi to have a very bad stomachache afterwards.

- if you wear makeup everywhere you go, even if it's just a little, he wants to see you doing it. when you ask him why, he just said that "i like seeing you taking care of yourself." which makes you very happy.

- would have a conversation with umemiya and he suddenly talked about you instead. umemiya would definitely tease him about being such a 'simp' over his girlfriend, and he just smiled sheepishly about it.

- would call you at night atleast once in a week to ask about your wellbeing. he just can't help but feel worried about you. if you said you were okay, he'd be relieved and ask you if you have eaten yet or not. if you said you were having like a bad week, he'd ask if he could come over and spend some time with you.

— KAJI REN :

- will ask himself every night about how he ended up dating you. he's literally so confused because of how different you both are. in his mind, you're so perfect and rarely lose your temper or yell at anyone, and he's like a monster. he once told you about his thoughts and you reassured him that he's not a monster and how you both are literally meant to be together.

- won't initiate the first move at ALL. if you want to hold his hand, you better do it first because he will never ever suddenly hold your hand just because he wants to. though, he definitely tried to do it once and failed. he ask hiiragi how to hold your hand without feeling weird inside and he just laughs at him.

- would kick anyone in the face if they ever dare to talk about you behind your back. and it will be even more worse if they said it to your face. though, if kusumi is around, he'd ask him to tone it down a bit and just yell at them to back off instead of immediately going into action.

- will give you his playlist for you to listen to. he's definitely thought about making you a playlist but he never did it because he actually don't know what songs to put in the playlist, so he just shared his playlist with you.

- you once gave him a new phonecase because you said that his phonecase is so bland and boring. he uses it on his phone now and shows it off to everyone.

naomi-nana. do NOT repost, do not use,(with or without permission), do not reccommend or talk about my works outside of tumblr.

[a-moth-called-mof]

No actually I'm going to say. I honestly think that was such a satisfying and fitting epilogue for something as unqiue as the dream smp. Maybe its vague about certain things and maybe it wasn't a picture perfect happy ending but it felt so satisfying, not just because of the original shit nuke ending and the way the server originally just slowly faded (although that contributes) but also, because it's a representation of the dream smp itself saying goodbye to its fans. Jack being the point of the view character is so fitting because he's been there since the early days and it makes it so that for once, we get to see C! Tommy from someone else's point of view without his own perspective offered. And that's so fucking impactful. When C! Tommy asked Jack where he'd been and that he hadn't seen him in a long time, he was talking to C! Jack sure but he was also talking to the viewers themselves by extension. The image of C! Tommy silently standing there and treating Jack, the point of view character of the viewers, like an old friend is so haunting and comforting in a way words can't express.

And then there's just the entire theme of grief and moving on that's present throughout the entire thing? C! Jack and Tommy both reminisce about how much the SMP impacted both of them. They look on at C! TECHNO'S HOUSE as they talk about how despite all the shit it put them through, a part of them misses it and longs to be back there again because there were things there that were fun and that meant something to them. It's so fitting on a metatextual levels. The characters are reminiscing about the SMP's old days "before everyone left" and so are the content creators through the characters but also, so is the audience. The viewers. The old fans who clung on. The fans who who didn't. The fans who, despite everything the server put them through, still wanted to tune into a livestream for even a chance of seeing it again.

I just feel like the stream represented so many of us. When C! Jack says he didn't like the person he was back then but that doesnt mean he was bad, I just feel like that encapsulates so many of us during the pandemic. Like many (I think?), I used the dream smp as escapism. I was in a really bad place and I was avoiding most of my irl friends. I hate who I became during those times. But also. I had so much fun. I would tune into streams every day and scroll tumblr and the fandom made me feel so happy and included and I loved the inside jokes and I loved the characters and I loved the streams and I loved everything and a part of me still misses that. I was avoiding everything in my life and I was so isolated but I was so full of excitement and bliss and fun when I would tune into those streams. I've kinda spent the past 2 years lowkey hating who I was. But this stream, C! Jack's line and reflection specifically, genuinely made me realise that maybe I shouldn't idk view my old self so negative and that he (who I was) was probably just trying his best during a tough time even if his choices weren't always the most functional. That I've improved and that that's okay and good even. And that maybe just because I like who I am now doesn't mean he was bad.

Idk there's also something about C! Tommy telling C! Jack he might never see him again and C! Jack telling him that that's okay (also again image of C! Tommy looking at the viewer's point of view and telling them he'll probably never see them again...). There's just something about growing up and how you kind of lose contact with some people and how that's normal and it's okay and it happens and how that ties back into some of the dream smp's themes about growing up. But also there's a bit of grief there and that's okay. Idk there's something so visceral about the last piece of media about the dream smp literally being about grief and moving on and about how the characters literally say goodbye to eachother after everything but also about how that's okay. Idk I wonder how many people feel similarly

To conclude this, I feel like the moment in the stream that hit me the most was CC! Jack being happy he let go of the manishroom (and the server by extension) and that he's moving on but then later saying "I didn't like letting go of the mushroom. Felt like I wanted to cling onto it forever" and something about that just hits. Idk there's something how the characters both feel such a unique pain and longing for the old times in universe and how that reflects how the audience and streamers themselves feel and there's something about how I genuinely don't think something that wasn't as accidental and beautiful and messy and painful and earnest and flawed and unique as the dream smp could ever capture that feeling. And I think I love it for that. And I think I love the epilogue for representing that. And I think the dream smp said I love you and goodbye to its viewers with that epilogue and I think I said it back.

[yanderes-galore]

Some concept for yandere Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), please?

Sure! I ended up combining these two requests because how I end up writing Alastor is meant to be... unpredictable? He's a dubious pairing for me so you can argue most of his actions are already "platonic" as he wouldn't show any sign of real "attraction" anyways due to how he is. Hope you enjoy this regardless :)

Yandere! Alastor Concept

Pairing: Dubious (Leans Platonic?)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Violence, Sadism, Blood, Murder, Isolation, Soul deals, Stalking, Forced companionship/pairing.

Ah, Alastor, the radio demon.

The thing about Alastor is not many know his true intentions.

It's hard to tell what he wants and that's what makes him an unnerving character.

He acts amiable, charming, good-natured, playful...

But he's a sinner like no other.

He's an Overlord who has killed other Overlords and made deals with many.

He's probably one of the more intimidating characters not only in the show... but to have as a yandere too.

He doesn't see many as his equal.

He's sadistic, a fan of violence, and has an ego.

Alastor tends to hide true emotions and is only around to entertain himself.

The most interesting and scary part of his yandere is how unpredictable he is.

It's unknown why he's attached himself to you.

For one reason or another you've managed to catch his eye.

I would say for better or for worse...

But we all know it's for worse, right?

Alastor wouldn't tell you why he likes you, you can't pick up on it either.

He's just overly friendly with you.

In some way you could consider the radio demon your "friend".

He's capable of friendship, hopefully, considering how he is with Nifty, Rosie, and Mimzy.

Having Alastor on your side, no matter his intentions, is probably better than having him against you.

The demon is oddly attentive to you when he's attached.

You intrigue him and speaking to you is entertaining.

You're entertaining.

In fact, most of the time it just seems like he's around to entertain himself.

Or it looks like he wants something.

Alastor never seems to leave your side, always right behind you, laughing along to a conversation he was never a part of.

He just seems to insert himself into your life, never taking his red eyes off you.

You most likely first met as a member of the hotel.

You work to help Charlie, a task he finds amusing.

Alastor's darling just seems to be treated like a toy at times.

Although, as it progresses, he slowly begins to "care" more.

It's hard to tell what's genuine and what isn't.

Alastor has an intimidating aura around all demons.

Even you feel uneasy when he appears around you, always being charming as he strolls over.

It's like he's always playing a game.

You can never seem to find privacy without the radio demon appearing.

You could be speaking with Charlie, or anyone else really...

Then all of a sudden the radio demon wants to join in on the chatter.

A reason for his friendly and attentive behavior could simply just be because he wants a deal with you.

However... There's also times he just seems... protective?

It's more like he's possessive... Yet they're so similar.

Alastor may rarely let his true feelings slip, but there's times he sheds a bit of light on how he feels.

For example, Alastor loves to listen in on your conversations, as said before.

If Alastor heard someone speak of you negatively or threaten you... You notice his aura change.

It's that or if someone gets too close in general... be it flirtation or even just friendship.

Charlie hugging you or Angel playfully flirting with you for example...

It all seems to irritate Alastor to no end.

Maybe even to the point of the radio demon stepping in, clearing his throat as he tries to keep his temper in check.

Alastor is always watching, always listening.

You may not be his... but he observes you like you are.

He treats you like you are.

The only thing not making you his is a deal.

Which he'll find a way to get eventually.

Perhaps a reason Alastor likes you is because he likes control?

Maybe the radio demon gets a power trip when he chooses who can interact.

While intimidating and downright passive aggressive with others...

Alastor is surprisingly great with you.

He's friendly, always smiling, chatting you up whenever he has the chance.

He acts like a friend... Even if you're unsure if you can call him that.

Alastor may even notice your distrust, always thinking of ways to break down that wall between you.

While he isn't a fan of true emotions, he likes to see yours for some reason.

You may not fully trust him, yet he watches your smiles, frowns, everything.

For some reason you're just so fun to watch.

Alastor likes to dance with you for bonding.

You two are buddies, aren't you?

In that case, join him for a number, will you?

Hell, Alastor seems like the type to playfully tease his obsession.

He'll compliment you, be playful... Just to see your reactions.

He's playing with you.

Alastor is manipulative, often doing anything he can to get you guard down.

He's good at putting on a show, dancing with you and acting all nice.

Although, no matter how much he tries to convince you...

He still isolates you from conversations he dislikes, he watches your every move, he seems to be aggressive to those around you.

It's more like he's territorial than protective.

Alastor can get messy when it comes to his obsession.

We've seen in the show that he can turn many lesser demons into paste.

He's also killed Overlords.

So him being obsessed with you is unnerving, even dangerous.

Mostly because... Why would someone as powerful as him want you under his control?

Sure, he considers you both friends, but what does that mean when it comes to him?

A demon like him only brings violence and trouble.

Even those who know the demon well are stumped as to why he wants you.

Alastor asking you for your soul is expected.

In fact, you may have been waiting for that.

Why else would he be this nice?

Alastor would no doubt pressure his obsession into a soul deal to make them his.

Nothing quite says 'mine' like a chain around your neck.

However, Alastor will try to be patient to play his cards right.

He wants you to believe him.

He tries to promise you care and protection if you make a deal.

He treats you well and is respectful to you.

Yet you can somewhat tell what exactly he wants.

His obsession over you would start as intrigue and a sadistic curiosity.

But who knows, maybe over time the Alastor grows attached to your company.

Alastor doesn't genuinely love or care for many people.

Never has.

However... Perhaps he feels that way with you.

He cares for you in his own way.

He cares for you enough to watch over you, to kill for you, to isolate you... to make you his.

The last thing he needs to do to secure his bond with you is a soul deal.

Something he plans to coerce or force out of you.

Maybe he'd threaten to harm someone you care about if you don't.

Or maybe he'll bribe you.

Eventually, like the 'good friend' he is, he'll get you to sign that contract and give him your soul.

After that? Well, you're completely his to do what he pleases with.

Oh, but he won't force you to do anything else you may not want, darling.

No, this was all just a way to secure you to him.

He's now your companion to the end, isn't he?

He'll hold you, comfort you, treat you better than any other demon here can.

Why would he?

Well, you're his now.

Now no one else can touch what's his.

Which allows the demon to isolate you.

He won't let others speak to you for too long, always lurking around to watch you.

If they do, he'll call you away from them.

Why would you speak to anyone else?

Why would you need anyone else?

Isn't he the best friend you could ever have?

The best companion? The only one you need?

If you don't think so... Maybe he needs to correct how you think?

You don't want that, do you?

Alastor, no matter how much he calls you his friend and companion, is condescending.

He makes it seem like he owns you.

Sure, maybe he does care for you, yet he still isolates you.

He still keeps you all to himself.

There's no point in fighting him... why would you even need to?

He really is all you need... the perfect charming companion... you'll get used to being his, you have to.

[short-honey-badger]

Phantom Pain

Little soul mate au where they feel each other's emotional and physical pain.

Warnings! A lil bit of angst and a lot of possessive Shanks cause I just can't help myself. Enjoy!

Masterlist

Phantom Pain Masterlist

Soulmates. Just the thought of them disgusted you. What good did it do anyone in this world to have someone else's pain and trauma to worry about? The joy of meeting your other half just wasn't worth all the hurt one had to go through, in your opinion. Yours certainly did nothing but cause you grief. Hangovers that weren't yours, to wounds from swordfights and shootouts. The worst had been the day your other half had lost his right arm.

Even now, almost a decade later, that phantom pain lingers, and with it, the guilt that isn't yours that eats away at you every time you acknowledge your soulmate. You ignore it the best you can, hell, you would be happy to never meet whoever they are. And you make sure to let them know that, too, with your own frustrated feelings. However, life had rarely been kind to you, and it wasn't going to stop tonight.

You know the moment you step into the only open tavern in the sleepy little town and see the red-haired man with a black cloak on at the bar, that tonight would be it. While he is covered, you can still tell that there is nothing on his left side and your arm aches something fierce. You debate with yourself. You could run away before your possible soulmate noticed you, or you could put on your big girl panties and go order a hot drink like you had planned.

You shiver violently, and the decision is quickly made. With a world weary sigh, you hang up your wet overcoat and then casually cross the room to sit at the bar several spots away from the one armed man. You order your drink and see out of the corner of your eye him staring at you, but you stay looking forward even when you notice him scoot down to the seat next to you.

Shanks stares at the person who had come into the bar, dark gaze curious. He'd felt you the moment you had walked into the bar, all angry emotions and swirling frustration directed right at him. Even through the negativity, the Yonko was desperate to know if you were the one. And he knew the fastest way to figure that out.

The grin that splits his face is full of glee and victory as you yelp loudly when he pinches the meat of his thigh. You whip around to glare at him, eye alight with indignation, but Shanks looks like the sun and moon just fell in his lap, "Found you," he says with a teasing tilt to his voice, "I've looked for you a long time, ya know that?"

You scoff at him and loom away to take a deep sip from your cup, "And I've been running," you quip meanly. Why? Why did he have to do this ro you now of all days? All you wanted was a nice evening to yourself, and of course, your soulmate seems obnoxiously good spirited.

Shanks laughs, and you can feel his merriment and joy at finding you. Your body desperately wants to act as well, but you fight down your biology and tell it to shut up and stay down. You've faught against this your entire life. You couldn't break now.

"I know," he says, and his words make you look at him with narrowed eyes, "I'm a dangerous man, Sweetheart. I know I've caused you a lot of pain, and I'm sorry about that."

You have to turn away from him with how genuine and soft he sounds. You drink deeply again and then set your mug down with a click. You've felt his guilt before, but having words go with it made you break just a little more.

"Well. Thanks for the apology, at least," you murmur and then tense when you watch him get off the stood. He circles around you and presses his front to your back. Despite yourself, your body relaxes, as if it knows that this man is meant for you. His one hand grips your hip, thumb moving to stroke the your skin under your shirt, and you shiver unintentionally.

"I plan on making up for it," he says casually and leans forward to bury his face in your hair, breathing in your scent. You smell like the sea and something else unique just to you. He can't get enough of it.

"I don't plan on sticking around," you tell him and shift to try and get away from the man, but the obvious pirate only tightens his grip on your hip.

Shanks laughs again, but it isn't a very nice sound this time, "Sorry to burst your bubble, Hon," he whispers, and you shiver at what he says next, "You don't have much of a choice this time," the Yonko waited long enough to find you, he wasn't about to let you go now.

He leans around you, hand leaving your hip to grasp your chin, and a kiss is bestowed on your lips, soft as a daisy, "Name is Shanks, by the way. What's yours, Sweetheart?"

[limabean42]

𖦹 Anxiety realizing she has a crush on you 𖦹

Reader is implied to be one of the original emotions

-

• When Anxiety first saw you in headquarters she was taken aback at how much she liked you

• She had observed the rest of the emotions as well as you and even admired Joy from afar but she wasn't expecting you to look so good in person

• While introducing herself to you she was a stuttering mess. Everyone brushed it off since she was Anxiety after all, but she knew it was illogical to behave this way for no reason

• She brushed it off and continued her plan for Riley's life and we all know how that went

• After her planned failed and everything was sound again she had more time to reflect on her own feelings

• Sitting in her chair looking at you made her heart speed up so she was quick to look away

• She couldn't look away for long though, especially if you were in control of the panel. She liked seeing you in action, contributing in bettering Riley's life

• Her free time in the massage chair meant she could theorize about reasons why she could feel this way around you and no one else

• As hard as she tried to wrap her head around these feelings she just couldn't crack this case or even think of a solution

• She just liked you a lot for no reason it seemed. You looked good to her physically and mentally and it drove her nuts, not because the feeling was unwelcomed specifically but because she was a problem solver

• If she can't solve problems who was she? How could she take care of Riley? How could she be a useful emotion at all?

• Even if it had been months since she took control of headquarters and gave Riley a panic attack she still felt a little guilty and a bit useless. She didn't want to hurt anyone anymore but it seemed that was all she could do right

• Since she admired Joy so much she decided enough was enough and she needed to talk to her about this before she had a panic attack

• Once describing the feeling in her stomach and chest, Joy smirked and knew exactly what the issue was

• Joy told her that it sounded like she had a crush on you

• Anxiety felt annoyed with herself for not realizing this on her own as it seems so obvious now. How would she know though? She only got here a few months ago

• The word crush didn't terrify her but it did make her anxious

• How would her crush on you affect Riley? Would it impose on Riley's life in a negative way?

• Joy told her to calm down and not overthink it and suggested telling you for her own sanity

• She took a deep breath and decided to face the music by confessing privately

• "y/n? Hey, can I talk to you privately really quick" she smiled nervously

• You agreed and you both walked to the window to see all the islands

• She started out by looking out the window as a distraction from her nerves. She took a deep breath and turned to you

• "I think I have a crush on you" she quickly followed up by ranting, "I don't know exactly what that entails or what it means for me or you or the future or anyone else but it's definitely there and occupying a lot of thinking time so I decided to tell you before I cause more trouble for everyone like I did before. I'm really sorry if this is really sudden for you and if you don't feel the same that's fine this is just mostly for me I mean I don't know if I can even be in a relationship as an emotion plus I just got here and should probably not rush into anything but I feel better now saying all this."

• You just kinda stood there shocked waiting for her to finish ranting everything out of her system. You were happy she felt better and happy that she confessed because you felt the same

• "I like you too" you said smiling, "we don't have to rush things. I don't know how this will affect Riley either but it's worth a shot. Whenever you're ready to be together I'll be here waiting."

• Anxiety couldn't have hoped for a better response. She was so happy she squealed and walked up to hug you

• After realizing what she just did she quickly let go of you and chuckled nervously

• "Thanks for understanding. Could we possibly spend more time together? I mean when neither of us are needed at the panel?"

• You agreed excitedly, happy to be close to her finally

•After that you both walked back to her chair and sat on it together. While you chatted Anxiety glanced toward the panel to find Joy smiling and giving her a thumbs up

• Anxiety melted into the chair and smiled contently while continuing your conversation

-

Thank you for reading <3

[elswing]

i hate posting discourse it's pointless and doesn't do anything for me except prolong my annoyance but i'm Tired™ and feel like shouting into the void. apologies to my beautiful feanorian mutuals please look away i love u

i neeeeeeed everyone to stop claiming they like elwing if their characterisation of her is completely made-up biased bullshit that paints her as an immature and disdained ruler (?????) who couldn't balance her responsibilities with the husband she married too young (at 22. practically a child bride honestly) and the children she never wanted (where. where does it say this). she's clearly such a bad mother that she abandoned them at first opportunity (she knew the feanorians were more than capable of killing a pair of twin boys because they literally already did that. that's very much a thing that already happened. to her brothers) and it was her selfish nature that made her soooo eager to flee (she had no reason to think ulmo would save her it was literally a suicide attempt. she wanted to make sure the deaths of her people and presumed deaths of her sons weren't in vain by ensuring they never obtained the silmaril)

like i'm gonna touch your hand as i say this. it's okay if you hate her! just don't pretend that you weren't thriving in the 2016 era of silm fandom where everyone pushed all their male fave's negative traits onto any other woman in a 5 mile radius to grab Poor Little Meow Meow status for war criminal #1 #2 and #3 to then turn around and spout the exact same (factually untrue) sexist rhetoric concealed under seven layers of buzzwords just because it's the year of "unlikable and complicated female characters" like buddy who are we talking about here. have you perhaps considered making an oc?

and i'm NOT saying i want the whole fandom to mimic my exact opinions and thoughts about elwing i realise that one of the best parts of the silm is how divisive it is and how you have so much wiggle room to come to your own interpretations because of how VAGUE the source material is but i'm genuinely convinced everyone's just parroting shit they saw in ao3 fanfics where maglor is secretly lindir and the premise is elrond sneaking him into valinor and elwing yells at him for slaughtering her people. TWICE. and this is framed as a category 5 Woman Moment so elrond disowns her and calls maglor his real dad

(eärendil misses this entire ordeal because he went on a voyage to save the world that one time and no one's let him live it down since because the whole fandom as a collective decided he did this because he's a terrible dad and not because the whole continent was at war and about to be wiped out and maybe he came to the unfortunate but reasonable conclusion that leaving is the best thing he could do for his family if it meant there was a chance his sons could grow up safe in a world that wasn't ruled by Fucking Satan so now his whole Beloved Sacrificial Lion: The Thin Line Between Doomed and Prophesized Hero™ shtick is tossed out in favour of.... *checks notes* Guy Who Forgot To Pay Child Support? oh and they're a lot louder about this because he's a man so no one can call it misogyny that's why no one ever goes the #girlflop #ILoveMyBlorbosNastyAndComplicated route with him and he gets dubbed as that one asshole who just wanted fame and glory even though that goes against the general themes for tolkien's hero characters. and tolkien loved that dude to bits that was his specialist little guy so you can't seriously tell me you think that's what he was trying to portray???????? is that seriously what you think he was trying to portray????????? babe????????????

also there's a BIG difference when it's a character that's only named in one draft and doesn't exist in the rest or gil-galad who has like three and a half possible fathers but ELWING??????? the only possible way you could be coming to these conclusions is if you read the damn book with your eyes closed. FUCK.

[shycloudkitty]

Could this Valentine's Day be any better?

Summary: Unfortunately, you are sick this Valentine's day. All the plans you made were gone to trash. Although, Leon still tries his best to make it a special day for you and him. And by best it means… the one that both of you will remember for the lifetime. ;)

Pairing: Death Island! Leon × Gn! Reader

Tags: Tooth rotting fluff, leon calling reader sweet nicknames, leon being a caring boyfriend. (A bit of negative self-talk from the reader's side), Also there's a few Nsfw jokes and a bit of suggestive content so…Not that much so don't worry.

A/N: If you couldn't tell, I wrote this while I was sick and college exams being like a week away 🥲. Also I am single and valentine's just around the corner and yes, I am sick🥲🥲🥲. Personally, not a fan of this combination (It sucks here😭). Anyways, it gave me the perfect opportunity to be delulu about Leon.

So that's what this is - me being delulu, but I hope you all enjoy this fic and have a good day. Thank you to @nexysworld and @luniaxi for beta read🥰

(Also I know it's not Valentine's Day today. Like I said I was terribly busy🥲)

WC: 4.5K

It's Valentine's Day. The day of love. The day of sweet chocolates, beautiful bouquets and heartfelt love confessions.

It was a special day for couples, young or old. A reminder that pure love never grows old or wither away, in fact it only grows deeper as time passes by. The day was a reminder to cherish it as long as you can.

Which is what you would have been doing with your boyfriend today, if you weren't sick. Yes, you are sick, why? Because you have bad luck. A really terrible one.

Out of all 365 days in the year you had to be sick today. The most important day and say goodbye to all the romantic plans you made. The candlelight dinner, the cute dinner outfit you bought. But, no now you have to kiss it all goodbye and just grumble about what could have been.

To say that you were disappointed and angry was an understatement.

You blamed the seasonal changes for the condition you were in. You are in bed, not even having an ounce of energy to sit up properly, a bad throat, headache, body pain, cough and fever.

The only good thing was that your high fever had almost subsided only because of your sweet, caring, most down to earth person, your boyfriend made it his mission to take care of you during these tough times.

The moment he knew you were sick, he dropped everything he was doing and immediately wrapped a blanket around you after he had you settled in bed. Making you hot tomato soup, your favorite ramen, chamomile tea, anything that would help you feel better.

You were in your bed, trying to take a good rest but the body pain you had was making it really difficult. It was noon right now but what could you possibly do besides resting anyways?

“It will get better, just rest. I'm here.” He said as you complained about the condition you were in. He tried to soothe you with the sweetest smile he could muster, his warm blue eyes reassuring you that it will in fact get better even if you didn't believe it.

You clutched your head when you felt the pain coursing its way in your head, giving you a migraine. “I can't sleep Leon…it's so difficult.”

Leon could see the tears of frustration slipping from your eyes as the overall pain troubled you from getting you even a moment of relaxation.

And it broke his heart to see you in so much pain. Knowing he couldn't take the pain away entirely. Even if he was cooking you hot meals and soup it was still going to take some time to heal.

If it was up to him he would move mountains just for you to feel better even for a second. He wished he could just snap his fingers and take all the pain you had and give it to himself. Obviously, he wouldn't say it out loud cause he knew it would get you upset but he really wished he could do all that.

He was willing to suffer, if it meant you would never have to.

Your tired body slowly felt the warm calloused hands, slowly bringing you in his arms and hugging you tightly but keeping his hold gentle, so as not to cause you any discomfort as he cuddles with you. And pulled the blanket over you both to keep you warmer.

You looked up at him with a tired face as he gently rubbed your back with his hand. Slowly massaging your back with his strong fingers, trying to get rid of those sore spots. You felt his soft lips on your forehead giving you a loving kiss, which already had you melting in his big arms.

“Feeling better?” He asked in the softest voice possible and brought his other hand to your temple. Rubbing the sore spot with his thumb gently, which had you crying in pain earlier.

Your eyes slowly closed and a soft relaxed sigh escaped your lips as you gave a small nod. His gentle touch, the sweet voice, the soft kisses surely gave you a moment to relax.

Leon peppered soft, gentle kisses across your whole face while still massaging your back and temple. Soon he moved his hands to your waist to pull you more close so you were pressed up against his chest.

You looked up at him, opening your eyes for a moment, looking at him and wondering how could he even tolerate to even stay this close to you, while you had a running nose & weakness all over.

You didn't feel pretty or cute right now, you felt sick and horrible. Hell, even you wouldn't stay this close to yourself. But here he was… smiling down at you, massaging your sore spots, cuddling with you, trying his absolute best to help you regain your health.

“Have something to say, Darling?” He asked when he noticed you staring at him, lost in thought.

You sniffled a bit and replied. “You know… you will get sick if you stay so close to me.”

You heard a warm chuckle, feeling him hug you tighter. “Worrying about me even when you are sick? You are too sweet for your own good, y'know.”

You rolled your eyes and hit him lightly on his arm. “I'm not kidding.”

Leon chuckled once more seeing the glimpse of the playful attitude you always had. It made him feel better that you were feeling better enough to talk.

He smiled and shook his head lightly. “I will be fine. Relax.”

You huff and say. “You say that now, but if we both got sick at the same time there will be no one to take care of us. Like how will I take care of you? When I'm not even able to get out of bed?”

It wasn't like you weren't grateful for his actions. Of course you were, but if he got sick because of you, the guilt would definitely hit you in the chest about it. Also being sick definitely made you cranky.

Leon raises an eyebrow at your words and tries to hold in a chuckle seeing you argue with him on this, trying his best to be serious. He then smiled and cleared his throat and slowly replied. “Well… first off I'm not gonna get sick. Second… even if I actually got sick, I'm pretty confident I could still take care of you.”

You looked up at him again, a bit touched with his words. “Are you sure?”

Leon playfully rolled his eyes. “Honey, I got infected with viruses you couldn't imagine. This is nothing. So yes, I'm sure.”

Well… he had a point. But you still had something in your mind that you were itching to ask.

You sighed, snuggling up closer than possible. Trying to relax your mind with his scent. Trying to remind yourself that he was really here and not to some far off mission.

You bit your lips nervously. “Are you mad at me for ruining this valentine day?”

Leon’s expression softened further as he realized that you feel guilty. It wasn't your fault, you couldn't control it. Plus, this didn't ruin anything. Yes it was a bit stressful but that was okay, your health was more important than valentine day. If anything this brought you both closer than ever.

“Baby… you can't ruin it just cause you got sick. I love you. Always. Why would I get mad at such a thing? If anything I am glad I got to spend this time taking care of you.”

He pressed a kiss on your cheek and continued. “You can't ruin anything. Ever.” You sighed softly as he said that. A bit relieved that he at least doesn't think it was the worst valentine day ever.

You closed your eyes, feeling the body pain ease a bit. The medications and the cuddling was really taking a number on you. Almost ready to fall asleep.

Leon noticed how you became less chatty, slowly falling in and out of sleep. He slowly sat up in bed, careful not to disturb your sleeping form. And took hold of your legs and slowly started to massage the sore points present in the legs. Fingers applying firm pressure to relieve any pain that you were still having.

A sleepy sigh escaped your lips when you slowly felt the pain go away, transferring you into a state of deep relaxation…

Leon smiled to himself when he saw you sleep, free from any migraines or body pain that you may be having. He continues his massages till he is sure you won't wake up. He then puts a warm blanket over you, and softly whispers. “Get well soon baby, I have a surprise for you tonight…”

Leon gently kissed your forehead and moved away. Now he had to prepare for the surprise…

(Few hours later…)

You woke up after 3-4 hours. Your eyes slowly opened as it adjusted to the surroundings, you turned your head to look at the clock on the nightstand.

5:30pm

You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. You were definitely feeling a lot better now. The body pain was still there but it wasn't that bad. You were still feeling weak but didn't feel like you still had a fever.

A few minutes later you heard some shuffling outside the room. You lifted your head to see what was going on and saw Leon entering the room. He smiled when he saw you were awake.

And came by your side and kissed your cheeks lovingly and mumbled. “Good evening baby… Feeling better?”

You thought about it then gave a small nod with a sigh. “Mmhmm…”

Leon smiled and planted a few soft loving kiss across your face. “Good… Because I have a surprise for you.”

Your ears perked up as soon as you heard that magical word. Surprise. You looked up at him and said, “A surprise…? What is it about?”

He smiled seeing the small spark in your eyes at the mention and gave a wink. “A valentine dinner for us at home, prepared by yours truly.”

Your eyes widened and raised yourself slightly on your elbows to look at him properly. “Wait- As in… A dinner date for today at our home.”

His smile widened further as he took both of your hands and gave it a light squeeze and nodded. A blush rising in his cheeks. If you didn't know any better he was getting a bit shy and a tad nervous too. Such a cutie pie.

“Well… I thought since you were so upset about the whole situation and I know you had plans and everything… So… I decided to bring those plans to you.” You could swear his whole face turned into a cute puppy as he told you about his plan.

Your heart melted, no you felt like your whole body melted and formed a puddle in bed. The thought of him doing so much just to see you happy and cared was enough to give you a whole swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

You were glad Leon came into your life, glad that he chose to be with you. You didn't know what you did to deserve to have this amazing man all to yourself. His icy blue eyes, his sweet demeanor, the way he made you feel… It was amazing.

You didn't know what love was until you met him. Yeah, you thought what love was before him but being with him was just… magical. He remembered almost everything about you. Yeah, yeah the bar was in hell and whatever bullshit.

But if a man like him, who literally fought bioterrorism for a living. Who probably had the most stressful job on this planet did such thoughtful gestures, who almost turned into a puppy when he saw you, looked at you with such warm and sweet eyes… It was hard not to fall in love with him.

You gathered a bit of strength and immediately hugged him tightly, burying your face in his neck and dropping a kiss there. “Thank you… I love you.”

Leon chuckled as he hugged you back. “Love you too. And it's the least I could do.” he saw how your eyes almost started twinkling and how your face brightened up to a few notches. And that's how he knew the job was well done.

Leon dropped a light kiss on your lips and softly said. “Want to get ready for it?”

You gave a nod and he smiled. “Good…Want my help with any of it?”

You were still feeling a bit weak from the illness but it was a lot better. But you weren't stupid enough to say no to his request. So you agreed.

Leon being the gentleman he was, helped you get out of the bed and basically carried you to the bathroom to help you shower. Why would he let you walk when he could just pick you up like a cat and go wherever he wanted?

As you both entered the bathroom he helped you get out of your clothes, prepared some hot water bath, lit some of the scented candles that you preferred to have while taking a bath.

You relaxed in the bathtub while he started to wash your hair. Gentle fingers massaging your scalp, threading through your hair replacing the leftover pain with a feeling of pure bliss. You had a smile on your face as he continued and looked over at him.

“Thank you…”

He met your eyes and smiled. “For what?”

“For… everything. You are the best boyfriend I ever had.”

Leon's smile brightened, feeling a surge of pride in his chest, he then kissed your forehead. “At least I'm best at something.”

You chuckled as he poked your cheek playfully and went back to washing your hair. He then tilted your head a bit and slowly poured down water on your hair to get rid of the shampoo. He then helped you shower through the rest of the body.

When you were done, he helped you get out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around you. You looked up to see him, to see his face getting scrunched up lightly as he focused on wrapping it tightly around you. You loved it when he would do that, he looked so cute when his nose would just scrunch up lightly as he focused on whatever he was doing. It was simply adorable.

“I feel like a kid getting help in dressing up after parents made me bathe.” You made note as he searched for your clothes through your closet.

Leon had a hearty laugh at the comment and gave you a playful shrug. “Get sick like a child, get treated like a child.”

He turned towards you, taking out the outfit that you previously bought for the ‘dinner date’ you both were supposed to have before you got sick. And helped you wear it.

You smirked at him. “Oh really? Should I start calling you daddy then?”

Leon paused for a moment, his eyes immediately flicking back to you. That nickname always did something for him. And you knew that very well…you couldn't help but just poke him a bit.

A blush rose in his cheeks as cleared his throat and said. “Uh huh… Why don't we just focus on the task at hand. Which is getting you dressed.”

You couldn't help but giggle as he avoided the topic. “Oh you don't like that? I could swear that you did.”

He gave you a stern look and narrowed his eyes a bit. “Babe… don't.”

You chuckled and decided to play dumb. “What? I was just asking.”

Leon cleared his throat again, his blush deepening and slowly said. “I am glad you are feeling good enough to tease me like that. Having fun?”

“Very”

“I could tell.”

You chuckled, deciding to cut him some slack. It's not like you wouldn't like to test his patience a bit more… Maybe after dinner you might.

Leon finished helping you dress up then he also helped you with your make-up, helping you tie your hair up in a bun when you finished giving touch ups to your face.

“Like a doll. You look amazing.” Giving your ass a light smack.

You squealed in surprise which made Leon grin wider and hug you tightly in his arms. And peppered kisses all over your face. “Feeling better?”

You nodded with a bright smile. “Yes, very much so.”

Leon grinned. “Ready for the big date then?”

You eagerly nodded and Leon took a blindfold from his pocket and held it in front of you. “Want you to wear this first.”

You gave a mischievous grin, opening your mouth to come up with a quip but Leon beat you to it. “It's for not ruining your surprise, dummy.” Rolling his eyes at your antics.

You scoffed playfully. “Hey, I didn't even say anything and stop calling me that. It's mean.” You gave a fake pout and Leon couldn't help but chuckle.

It was moments like these that made him feel like that life was worth living. The small domestic moments that he never thought he would get to experience. That perhaps it was worth fighting all those man-made monstrosities and risking his life, if this is what he came home to. His safe haven.

You were worth protecting and taken care of. You deserved every bit of love he had in himself and even his life if you wanted.

Leon turned you around as he tied the blindfold around your eyes. When he finished, he gave another light smack on your ass which made you chuckle. “Well this refreshes some memories.”

Leon kissed your neck and playfully whispered. “Want me to refresh them even more after the dinner?”

You blushed and even if you couldn't see his face because of the blindfold. You bet he was smirking down at you. “Well… Maybe?”

Leon chuckled, taking your face in his hands and kissed your forehead. “Well… I guess you have one more surprise after dinner then.”

You blushed even more and looked away. He grinned seeing you at a loss for words and smiled. Knowing he won that. He then took your hand and said. “Now dinner. Careful not to stumble down on anything.”

He then guided you out of the bedroom, helping you walk down the hallway to your surprise in the living room. He then stopped and slowly removed your blindfold.

Your eyes fluttered open and saw the scene in front of you. Your eyes widened and your hands flew to your mouth to contain the excitement filling your body.

The living room seemed like it was heaven of some sort. Filled with her favorite flowers, rose petals on the floor guiding the way towards the table, present in the middle of the room. The table was decorated with a beautiful centerpiece, filled with roses. The whole room was decorated with red balloons and candles.

If you didn't know any better, you would have thought you were gonna get proposed or something.

Wait-

You immediately turned around and gasped as you saw him down on one knee. An engagement ring in his hands looking up to you like you were his whole world. You were his whole world.

And it seemed like the whole world stopped for a moment, just for the two of you to have this.

You had like dozens of questions running through your head. Like how the hell did he plan all this? Did he take some help? Of course he did. But how did he do all this, the planning and decoration? And was this really even happening? Or your imagination? Was he really proposing to you? Like right now???

Leon noticed that you were well… speechless. So he took one of your hands and gave a gentle squeeze. That seemed to get you out enough of your confusion and shock. Your voice came out in a little whisper. “Leon… I…”

You didn't realize at first but you had started tearing up. Wiping your tears, you looked down at him and he was almost there, on the verge of tears but holding it in for your sake. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze and cleared his throat. “Did you like it…?”

You had a small chuckle & managed a nod while you were tearing up. Oh, it wasn't even a question that you liked it. You loved it.

Leon looked down at the ring in his fingers once more. He had a whole speech prepared on how he always thought you were the one. (Which Claire and Sherry helped him prepare;)). Now he swore he forgot all of it when the actual moment came.

Leon cleared his throat and looked up at you. You looked stunning, even with tears running down your cheeks you looked the most beautiful person ever stepped on this earth. He took a deep breath and started. “Well… to start… this is not how I planned things would go…”

Leon saw you getting confused a bit then explained. “I was originally gonna do it in the restaurant we were gonna go to… but then you fell sick and I had to bring some improvisation to my plan.”

Leon saw your little smile peeking and his confidence rose up a bit. “Umm… I had been thinking about this for a while. Like a year... And you were also dropping hints all over so yeah, I wasn't dumb enough to not understand them…”

You had a small chuckle and shook your head lightly. It was true, you tried to tease him with some videos of couples getting proposed to all he used to reply with was a small “hmm… nice.” And avoid the topic. And now that he was here he seemed so…vulnerable.

He continued. “I know you felt like you ruined this Valentine's Day. But you could never do that. You could never ruin anything. I know I said that earlier but I want you to understand that fully. Everything about you is… Perfect. Magical. There aren't enough adjectives to describe what it's like when I am here with you. You make me feel… safe and loved.”

You felt yourself tear up more when he said that. You could have never thought he felt like that with you. But you knew he was saying the truth the way he was looking at you.

He interlaced his fingers with yours when he gave a gentle squeeze again this time. “The past few days when you were sick, I loved taking care of you. To show you the love you've given me. The love you show me when you take care of me after missions, patching me up, preparing me delicious food even when you are busy with your office work. It's just… I can't believe that I deserve all that. And yes it's not the first time I took care of you but moments like these… helps me to show you and return that love your way.”

He takes another deep breath to calm himself, not yet realizing that he was tearing up at this point. “So, with all the hope I have right now, thinking I haven't exactly messed up all my speech… Will you marry me?”

You didn't know how you were even exactly standing right now after his speech. You were speechless. You had so much to say… but you couldn't even come up with one word. You gulped and took a deep breath and slowly replied.

“Yes Leon, of course I will marry you…”

Leon sighed in relief and let the tears flow from his eyes freely, holding nothing back and slipped the ring on your fingers. And stood up properly this time. He immediately brought you in his arms, cupped your face and kissed you. Pouring all the love he had for you, the love that couldn't be expressed by mere words only by actions.

You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the passion you had for him in the moment. His body pressed up against yours. Feeling his warmth and excitement pour into you.

You both slowly pulled back, foreheads still touching and in each other's arms, having a big dumb smile on both of your faces. “Leon… I… don't know what to say… you… did all this?”

Leon gave a light chuckle and shrugged. “I had help.” And kissed your forehead.

You sighed softly and looked down at your ring. “So now I'm your fiancée hmm?”

Leon nodded and hugged you more tightly. “Yeah. Deal with it. You are not escaping that.” His tone got a bit playful as this continued.

You giggled and playfully said. “Actually, kind of looking forward to be Mrs. Kennedy.”

Leon grinned and cupped your face once again. Having the softest eyes he had for you at the moment. “Oh yeah? Me too. The name suits you.”

He then kissed you softly on the lips again, rubbing your back and just holding you in his arms like you would drift away right now.

You both stayed like that for a moment and he asked. “Feeling hungry yet?”

You chuckled and nodded. “Yeah a little bit. What do you have for me?”

Leon grinned and pulled away, taking your hand in his and walking towards the table in the center. “Come with me, I will show you.”

And so you did. Your heart is still beating with excitement that you will soon get married and be his partner for life. And you couldn't wait for the day to come.

Maybe this Valentine's Day wasn't that bad after all.

Phew. So that's done. Ngl I started this a few days before Valentine's Day. I was definitely gonna post it then but exams took priority 🥲. I also think I went too delulu over him lmao. But anyways, I really do hope you all enjoy this like I am sorry if this wasn't that good. Half of the time my brain wasn't working.

And I hope you enjoyed Valentine's Day with your loved ones. Have a good day🥰

-Bella

[natsaffection]

hi 👋 how are you??

im having stressful exams this month, a lot of tough subjects, and i'm so frustrated with it all. could you please share your thoughts on how natty would handle r in a situation like this? maybe in the "my sweet baby" universe??

if you can, thank you so much, my love 💖

Together. | N. Romanoff

Sugar Mommy!Natasha x Sugar Baby!Reader

warnings: Just fluff🍀🍀

words: 947

A/n: Please take care of yourself if it gets too much, drink cocoa, and do other fun and relaxing things!!☕️

-

Now you're sitting in front of it again. One stack after the other, and it just didn't stop?

Why did you decide to do it again? Ah...Right...Future...

You were a bit frustrated, you had imagined your days to be different from sitting in Natasha's living room and cramming for hours. Natasha was also busy with herself in a meeting, and you couldn't help but take a leaf out of her book. Maybe one day you will be as successful as her..Run your own business someday.

CEO Of the L/N Company..Sounds good already....

"What are you thinking about?" As if she knew you were thinking about her right now, Natasha stands in the room and looks at you smiling, you sigh and put the stapler you had in your hand on the table, "Can't I just start with you?" Natasha could hear the frustration in your voice, and when she saw all the paper stuff she knew exactly what you meant. You see her looking at you with an unfamiliar look and suddenly she’s leaving.

She just left, Damn, you did something wrong..Before you could dive further into negative scenarios, she came back and sits down right next to you, "Alright, what are we looking at here?" You looked at her in confusion, "What about your meeting?"

Natasha reached for a stapler that was on the table, "Finished it, you are more important to me than listening to some people who think they can do something better," She looks back at you, "Now let's talk about you. So, what's it about?"

You couldn't help but smile softly. You can already feel the pressure easing a bit, ,,Aspects of human history and experience.“ Natasha flipped through the sheets a bit and as you did, she asked, „What can you think of already?“

Okay, how do you tell her you've just been staring at it so far? „Uhm..“ Natasha put the folder on her knees and this time looks directly at you, „You haven't looked at it yet, have you?“

You sigh again and lean against the couch, „I wonder how you managed to make everything look so easy, Nat. You're rich, you have your own company, and it seems like you don't have to worry about anything..“

Natasha's eyes softened, and she put a hand on your thighs, her voice soft and soothing. „Y/n, it may seem that way from the outside, but I promise you, success did not come on its own. I, too, sat on the floor and studied for hours. I had to deal with countless obstacles, setbacks, and doubts. Getting to where I am now took hard work and determination.“

You continue to look at her, „I know it won't be easy, but sometimes it just feels overwhelming. I want to achieve great things, but the road ahead seems so long..“

Natasha smiled and squeezed your thigh, „I believe in you, Y/n. You have the intelligence, the drive, and the passion. Remember that every little step brings you closer to your goals. Rome wasn't built in a day, nor were successful businesses or successful careers.“ Natasha realized that she was playing to your motivation with her speech, so she took the chance and went right on, „So, can you tell me anything interesting about any of these civilizations yet? Which ones are there, for example?“

Your eyes lit up as you begin to share your knowledge. „Well, the Egyptians, for example, were known for their impressive pyramids, and they believed in the afterlife.. They had intricate burial practices to prepare for the journey to the afterlife.“

Natasha nodded, acknowledging your answer, „That's right. It's fascinating how different societies view life and death. What are the challenges you find in learning about this topic?“

You sighed for the third time now, your frustration evident. „I get overwhelmed by all the dates and names. I feel like there's so much to remember.“

Natasha's voice sounded reassuring. „It's normal for you to feel this way. Let's try to break it down. We'll focus on one civilization at a time and create a timeline. That way it won't feel so scary. Also, I'm here to help you with the names and dates, understand?“

That sounds like a lot of work, you thought to yourself, but not for you, for Natasha, „Nat..Is this really okay that I'm keeping you here like this? you must have-" she interrupted you directly, „Quit that.“ She leans toward you, " „What good does it do me to have you sinking here in front of me, hm? I'd hire someone for you to make your tables and everything you need, so. Carry on.“

You had to smile again and nodded your agreement. At some point you reached a point where Natasha asked, „Let's talk about the ancient Mesopotamian civilizations. What else do you know about them?“

You think for a moment before answering, „They were known for their sophisticated writing system and the Code of Hammurabi, which was one of the earliest law codes.“ Natasha nodded in agreement. „That's right. And what do you know about the Indus Valley civilization?“

You hesitated, struggling to remember the details. „I'm not sure about that.. I think it was an ancient civilization on the Indian subcontinent, but I don't remember much else.“

Natasha smiled, without a hint of frustration in her voice. „ And that's all right, Y/n. The Indus Valley Civilization was actually on the Indian subcontinent, and they had advanced city planning with well-organized cities.“ Natasha notices you drifting off again, and she puts the things aside, „It's normal to forget some details. We'll work on it together.“

You appreciate her patience and support. „Thank you for your understanding, Natasha. Sometimes it's frustrating when I can't remember everything.“ Natasha reassured you, „It's all part of the learning process. We'll take another look at Indus Valley Civilization and make sure you understand it thoroughly.“

-

-

-

-

I need a Natasha. 🥲

[ko-existing]

You are the only person so far who seems to know what you’re talking and is well studied so I decided to sent this ask for you. It will have a little venting, but nothing too extreme or long also if you don’t mind I’d rather speak in a not non duality way because I wouldn’t know how to formulate my sentences without giving power to the physical world in a sense, and I’m not exactly looking for enlightenment in non dualism it’s just a question about this whole thing that has been going on on tumblr and other communities about manifestation and non dualism.

I’ve been on this journey of manifestation, law of assumption, non duality etc etc for a year now and the main thing that kept popping up in my head was “is this concept true?”

The concept that I’m talking about is: “we are the creators of our reality”

Honestly, this journey has brought me a lot of suffer because I’m a natural overthinker, skeptical, a tad pessimistic and extremely self judging. So I would often feel dumb and stupid for believing I could actually change my WHOLE life and manifest things that would be seem as actually absurd and impossible.

This experience of seeing so many times people saying “we are limitless” or “everything is malleable” “you can get anything you want” has dragged me into this rabbit whole of full peace of mind and hope and then being totally ripped apart by negativity, pessimism and skepticism.

I’m honestly tired and I really, really, really need to get out of it, so you are my hope of weather I should continue my journey to get a better life or finally have a closure on this whole world of manifestation, shifting realities etc

Is it really possible? I’m asking this with my whole heart and soul. It is possible to experience this reality shiftings, changes of physical appearance, revise past and all that?

I really need to put an end on my suffering and move on with my life and I rather know the final answer now instead of wasting my life on things that won’t happen and just end up more frustrated in the future.

Can we change our 3D world (I know you said there’s no separation, but as I said I can’t speak in a non duality way I’m sorry) or we just have to accept we can only control to a certain point?

Is it true that if I’m not meant to be rich no matter what I do, I won’t? That no matter how hard I try I could never “attract” a specific person? Is it true that the only thing I can do in this life is find peace by accepting that certain things are meant to be and never changed? Is accepting that I am not limitless like as all those bloggers, teachers, Neville Goddard claimed I am?

I’m sorry if this ask is heavy or if my words were harsh somehow. I don’t want to put a responsibility on your shoulder, I just really need to find peace and I need a final answer.

Thank you!

Here's the thing Anon: No one can help you but yourself. As harsh as it sounds, IT is what IT is, i'm not sugarcoating anything, it's a bit long and wordy so read carefully.

In tibet we have these sayings:

1. "You can offer a handful of grass to the cow, but you can't force it to graze."

2. "You can present the scriptures, but you can't enlighten the mind."

Even though i tag my stuff with "#nondualism" and a lot of people associate me with it, i don't follow any concept in particular. I only point you into the direction of "THAT". What you do with it, is your choice. You said you've been on a "journey" with lots of concepts like LoA, Manifestation, ND. Ask yourself, what exactly has been keeping you from actually turning within into silence instead of gathering one concept after another? Who decides that something is "impossible" and "absurd" like you said? I know you already told me that you'll talk in concepts but i still have to ask, are the limitations you have set for yourself REALLY fundamentally a thing? Do they exist if you aren't aware of such limitations?

Emptiness

NO concept is true, untrue or real. No words are true, untrue or real. I could tell you "no, Non Dualism or "AWARENESS" is not true. You can't change your life" but that's going to have a negative impact on you, wouldn't it? Why is that so? Those words don't prove anything to you. They are just words.

EVERY word is empty by nature, we give meaning to them. If i told you "བདག དངབ བསམ ངས་ཡང་ཡིན་གསལ" could you do anything with that sentence? No, because that sentence has no meaning to you.. you don't speak the language. Whatever I said, is meaningless to you. But if I translated it in english, you would be able to understand because you speak english and give it meaning (-> what was once meaningless and empty, now has an illusory meaning given by you). Got it?

What I'm trying to say is that it is important to understand that words have no meaning whatsoever BY NATURE and because they are meaningless BY NATURE, we can tell you whatever we want to, it is up to you alone what you're going to do with that. Does that make any sense to you? I hope i got my point across on how we give meanings to every empty word.

We do the same thing with different situations.

A stormy day can be the worst day ever for you but for someone else, it's the best thing ever.

If someone told me my content is trash, i do not care. If someone told 18 year old Koda her content is trash, i would've wasted a thought or two on that statement. If Dechen (my boyfriend, co-admin) read that we're spreading lies he would've written an essay telling that person to shut up & move along 2 years ago, but now he'd ignore it because he couldn't care any less. Now, everything is meaningless for everyone. I can decide if I want to be affected by those words, or not. If i told you "Everything's a lie" , what are you going to do then? Are you going to abandon everything just because I, someone you find "reliable", said so? If that's what you would do, why? What made you attach so much importance to a random "person"?

Is it true?

"Is it true that [...]"

"Is it true that [...]"

"Is it true that [...]"

Who are you asking? Me? Why? Do you want it to be true or untrue? Since all words are meaningless and empty by nature, is there a difference between the words "true and untrue" or is it the same "Emptiness"? You alone make your decisions. I can point you towards "IT" but 'you' are the one who's going to recognize "IT" or not. I have nothing to do with that descision.

Read whatever you want to. Practise whatever you want to or don't. At the end of the day, you alone give meaning to the meaningless. You can define emptiness but that doesn't change its Nature which is "emptiness", "nothingness" whatever-ness.

Definitions

"I'm an overthinker, skeptical and pessimistic."

What made you come to that conclusion? In order to answer that, i assume you have to think and list all moments in which you were overthinking, skeptical and pessimistic but are you able to answer that question without thinking? If you aren't thinking, WHAT or WHO are you? Are those thoughts you define yourself by, real in any way or are you just aware of different behaviors and define them as "overthinking, skepticism, pessimism" after thinking about it? Could you define yourself for me, without thinking? Try it.👀

Enlightenment?

You said you are not "looking for enlightenment" from ND , what exactly are you looking for then? Only a "person" can get enlightened, but there is no actual "person" here. What is, is. All concepts only POINT you to one direction -> "IT". Some, like advaita vedanta, are more direct than many limited & watered down versions of ND people now call "Law of Consciousness or Law of Assumption "with extra steps" on tumblr or twitter. In my humble and illusory opinion, it is nonsense but does it matter?👁️

The non-existent "I"

"Is it true that if I'm not meant to be rich no matter what I do, I won't? That no matter how hard I try I could never "attract" a specific person? Is it true that the only thing I can do in this life is find peace by accepting that certain things are meant to be and never changed? Is accepting that I am not limitless like as all those bloggers, teachers, Neville Goddard claimed I am?" -> define and show me the "i" you keep talking about. Do it without thinking. If you ponder on it long enough on a deep level, you will instantly answer your own Questions and the "i" you are talking about. Define and show me your doubts without thinking. There is no person to believe in anything, no person that is actually doubting, no person that is actually here.

「You can mold clay into a pot but that doesn't change the fact that it is clay and will always be clay」

[nunca205s-art-gallery]

[Enters the room pushing a mobile white board full of words, drawings and sticky notes.]

Ok, so. I've been working on something for the past few days... It's a Gravity Falls AU I called "The magic of sight AU" and this is the premise: "Stan gains the hability to predict the future when he has been around 4 years in the streets by a spanish witch in Colombia."

But before I say anything else, I'll show you the last drawing I made about it.

Ok, this will be a semi-long post explaining the base that I have planned already (because I'm a lunatic and I've made three alternate timelines for this AU, but I'll make a separate post about that).

How does it work?

Thanks to what is technically a curse Stan gets suddens glimpses of the future. It usually has to do with him, but sometimes he sees other things (that he can take advantage of, like, a lottery number or someone hiding something valuable somewhere he's close to, etc). The info is always useful, one way or another, but it can be misinterpreted (or acted bad upon). They can be about immediate danger or something that'll cause a chain reaction that'll affect him (negatively) in weeks/months.

His first vision was about being run over by a car two days after getting the power.

When he gets the visions his pupils shrink like crazy and a mark appears on his chest.

(This one's the mark. It doesn't glow, it looks more like a tattoo than anything.)

At first it was very noticeable that he was getting a vision by the way he acted right after. But with time you wouldn't be able to tell if not for the eyes and mark.

– Some fun-facts:

Every time he tried to end it all he got a vision about his next happier time. (That, or the poor disturbed soul that would find his body.)

He got the ability right when he got to Colombia (it hadn't been even a month). The witch gave him that power because he helped her with something and she saw how miserable he was.

This ability has saved his life more than once, but it has also put him in danger (better don't think about that cult he started).

• STORYLINE

After he finds out he's been blessed he's kind of in denial and thinks nothing of it. But after it happens a few times with insignificant stuff, and then wins the lottery (not much, maybe like 500 dollars from a scrape) he finally accepts that maybe something's up.

After that he tries to "control" it for a bit, but quickly realises that it is at random.

He's already a bit involved in iykyk (drogs), but thanks to his new power he manages to avoid bad people's attention.

After some time he lets himself get carried away thinking that he's untouchable. That's when he hits his head against a wall (metaphorically). He misinterpretes the vision and fucks up in a deal, making someone important mad at him (not Rico though). He has to flee and hide for a bit.

And that's mostly how he spends the next few years, he manages to live comfortable for a while, amassing money and meeting people, sometimes the good ones others the bad ones. Then something happens and he has to leave, sometimes he can take his money with him, others he can't (cuz he had to use it to pay back to someone, or to escape).

Most of the times things go wrong because he misinterpreted a vision, but it also is because there was nothing he could really do.

One time he got involved in some messy stuff (houman traffic) by mistake, and the only way he found out he was taking kids to somewhere horrible was thanks to, you guessed it, his power. He called in some favours and got the kids to a safe place, then he ran away from South America for good (he just crossed someone really powerful), but not before tipping off the police about that particular gang, with luck that mess would distract them from him getting back to the US, and if the universe feels generous, get them in jail for a while. Even though if it probably meant that they would look after him after they sort everything out (they did).

After some time back in the US he, unintentionally, really, joined/reformed a cult (it was more like a bunch of people adored him cuz of his power). It started because he decided to help someone after getting a vision, and then he realised he had just saved someone important in the weird church of a small town (practically everyone in there was involved in some dark stuff already thanks to that church). He got invited, and since he was on hiding he thought that this could be a good hiding spot for a while (and he was offered a high position in the "church").

He realised pretty quickly that something was off, but it took him longer to realise what exactly (he knew he was in some kind of cult, but not how bad it really was). And when, a year and a month after he joined, he came across some kind of basement destined for very disturbing rituals he flew the hell out of there the same night. (And he obviously called the cops on them.)

(They hadn't proposed him to join them yet cuz he was a newbie, he had to have at least five years of experience in the church to join the heavy rituals.)

After he got involved the church, he started using his visions to maintain his status, everyone there started seeing him as some kind of Messiah. So they respected him a lot, that's one of the main reasons he didn't leave earlier.

(He may or may not have eaten human meat on his time here. If he has, he has no idea.)

After that he went form place to place, amassing money again. But this time he kept himself away from the drugs stuff (at least for a good while). He mainly went to fight rings to bet or participate in illegal boxing fights.

He pulled some more scams, this time on individual people instead of making products. He learned his lesson.

He was living good, or as good as one can. But then he mistakenly interpreted a vision and fucked up big. The guys he crossed back in South America had send a few people after him after they escaped out of prison and managed to regroup. And they found him.

He almost dies and had to lay low again for a good while. He was almost out of money when Ford asked for his help.

He got there, and before he knocks on the door he gets a vision of Ford getting sucked into the portal. He doesn't know what the hell that means, but he says to himself that he has to keep his cool and, even though he doesn't understand how the hell that vision could happen, he'll try to make it not happen.

He can't keep his cool. It's hearing Ford send him away and crash out.

The fight goes the same until Stan sees the open portal. He gets a flashback to the vision (but not a vision) and stops mid speech. Ford realises that the portal is open and goes to close it, he trips (cuz mf is fucking sleep deprived) causing him to start getting pulled. And Stan tries to save him.

–—–—–—–—–

Aaaand, the would be all for now. I'll post the timelines tomorrow, because I'm falling asleep as I write.

Also, here, have some drawings I made.

(I made the little doodles in class, just so you know how obsessed I've been.)

[strwberri-milk]

ooo i see! understandable >< then, can we get diluc and kaeya dealing with a s/o who has cuteness aggression :3 like they come around and playfully bite on their cheek, ear, hand, any skin accessible lol or like when reader tenderly cups their cheeks in their hands before pinching them affectionately hehehkcjsjcjjs

Diluc doesn't expect to get bit during one of his work meetings but here he is. You didn't notice that he was talking casually with one of his suppliers, thinking it was just one of the staff before sneaking up to lightly bite his shoulder. He doesn't scold you, but instead just gives you a good-natured smile.

He's never really sure what to do whenever you try to hit him thanks to your cuteness aggression, one day asking you what crimes he's done to deserve such strange treatment. When you tell him his crime is being too adorable he can't comprehend what you're getting at - he doesn't exactly get called cute all too often after all.

Pinching his cheeks is something he doesn't allow too often. It makes his face too red with how pale he already is, further making him turn darker with how embarrassed he is. To make up for it, he does allow you to bite him a little more. If he ever takes off his coat his shoulder is littered with little blemishes from you just messing with him when you get a little too hyperactive.

He has also taken to covering up a little more if he's extra sore from his extra shifts as Batman. This way you can't get at him too much if he's too tired, not wanting to exacerbate his issues more by letting you at him. You never take it personally and he's never wanting you to take it personally - he's just trying to avoid making his issues worse.

He doesn't mind your cute aggression too much. It is a very...intriguing way to know that you love him and because it is your way of showing affection, he can't help but love it as a part of you.

Kaeya loves your cuteness aggression. He can't help but feel insecure sometimes about where he stands with you and that's never because of the way you treat him, but mainly just because of the way he sees the world and relationships around him. He's never too sure when something might disappear, leading him to tend to skew negatively.

Whenever you bite or pinch him he'll give you a dramatic whine or cry. He always makes it sound like you just killed him, sometimes even flopping over with a dramatic gasp that's meant to imitate a death rattle before sticking his tongue out comically. It never fails to make you laugh, so Kaeya does it a little more often than necessary.

Thanks to how often you do it to him, Kaeya's developed the habit of doing it back to you. When you're resting he likes to sneak up on you before grabbing and biting the back of your neck, or gnawing on your cheek playfully. You can't get mad at him since he's just giving you the same treatment you give him.

Sometimes this leaves the two of you just chasing each other around the house and fucking with each other. Sure you two end up with some extra scrapes and bruises that aren't from biting each other, but you both have so much fun it doesn't really matter.

He also definitely accidentally comes close to suffocating you in your sleep. His cute aggression tends to manifest in squeezing the living daylights out of you. You know he won't do anything to you and you kind of like being held that close to him at night, but you like to tease him the morning. He's always a little embarrassed about how tightly he holds you, knowing you don't mind but he sometimes wishes he didn't seem as desperate for your touch as he actually is. He's got a reputation to uphold as aloof and cool after all.

[yanderes-galore]

Could you write an concept for Emily from Hazbin Hotel? I don't see her being too intense as a yandere, but she could still be clingy and overprotective, right?

Yeah, she isn't that intense... but I can see her as clingy and overprotective. Just a warning, this is very similar to Redeemed! Pentious plot-wise.

@okchijt helped me out with this near the end :)

Yandere! Emily Concept

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Jealousy, Overprotective behavior, Slight manipulation, Oblivious behavior, Denial, Dubious companionship/relationship.

While I haven't written much for Charlie at the time of writing this... I feel Charlie and Emily are similar in yandere behavior.

Emily is excitable, sweet, and friendly.

Unlike other angels, Emily doesn't discriminate against anyone.

She's just so full of energy and genuinely just wants to make others happy.

Her whole role is to keep human souls happy in heaven.

Plus, as an angel she can't get away with a lot of yandere behavior.

Which leaves the bubbly angel as just... clingy.

Imagine Emily with an angel obsession who needs help around Heaven?

Emily is just so excited to make a new friend, bouncing around you with fluttering wings as she asks you what your name is and what you'd like to do first.

Honestly, Emily doesn't mean any harm.

She's similar to Redeemed Pentious, except she's less lucid.

She isn't aware of the fact her behavior may be wrong.

She gets too caught up in being close to you that she doesn't quite understand.

She's like an excited puppy with her obsession, often around them and dragging them on activities.

Sera may end up having to watch her as she's never seen the bubbly angel so attached to any other soul.

Although, something different than Charlie and Sir Pentious is the fact Emily cares less about what others think.

This is shown when she outright goes against Sera after learning about the Exterminations.

Emily probably wouldn't care what those around you think about her.

They just... don't understand your bond...!

It's not like she's doing anything bad, right?

She isn't forcing you into anything... right?

Emily is sweet with her obsession.

As an angel all her life, she's very innocent.

Something as dark as an obsession is very foreign to her.

All Emily wants to do is casual things like... get ice cream and sleepovers-

Y'know... more innocent activities than your typical yandere.

Since she has such an outlook with you, an obsession baffles her a bit.

She doesn't quite... understand?

The moment she's jealous about other angels around you... she isn't sure what the feeling is.

She's never felt something so negative.

Why would she? She's meant to make everyone so positive.

So... why does she feel so bad when you look so happy with other angels?

Isn't her goal to see you and the other angels happy?

Why... Why is she only happy when you're with her?

Why does she just want you to smile at her?

Emily is curious and naive.

She doesn't understand her obsession and has no idea why she feels this way.

She vaguely understands it's not normal... yet doesn't tell Sera a thing.

She's a bit nervous that Sera will tell her to stay away from you.

So... she's quiet and plays it off as normal.

Emily struggles with the feelings she has towards her obsession.

She hates feeling upset when you're with other angels.

You're supposed to mingle with other angels...!

She... She shouldn't want you for herself.

But she can't help herself.

Emily can't seem to understand the idea of too much affection.

She just thinks all affection and attention is good for her obsession.

Which often has her clinging to your side with a large smile one her face.

Emily may not be violent, but she scares herself when she does have such thoughts.

Her obsession makes her impure.

She thinks all sorts of thoughts she shouldn't.

Things like trapping you beside her... harming other angels around you... demonic temptation, really.

There's a good chance her obsession, if discovered, could cause her to become fallen.

Which is why she tries to hide such thoughts and distract herself.

She distracts herself by inviting you on little hangouts and focusing on her duties.

She should be happy if you're happy.

She just loves to see a smile on your face.

Emily adores you... always clinging and hugging you like a stuffed animal.

Her affection is another way she tries to ignore her obsessive thoughts.

Any sort of manipulation she does by accident or really subtle if on purpose.

Such feelings of hers make her walk on eggshells.

If Sera catches wind of this...?

Well, she fears what will happen.

Although, eventually, Emily may mess up.

Perhaps she steps out of line and somehow alerts Sera to her obsession?

Maybe she admits wanting to trap you in a room to keep you to herself... or maybe she admits that she's envious of other angels around you.

Her jealousy... her envy... such thoughts are a sin.

Sera is devastated and distraught at the fact Emily is behaving in such a way with you.

Perhaps she'll make you both fallen angels for such a... discretion.

At first Sera's in denial of the younger seraphim's obsession.

She doesn't believe Emily is capable of such a thing...

Which may lead to the older seraphim punishing you for Emily's feelings.

You corrupted her... she just knows it.

Sera would for separation to try and preserve Emily, but the angel is just too far gone.

Emily's obsession is the slow corruption of an angel... soon to fall from grace.

At your separation, Emily throws a tantrum.

Sera is stunned when she sees Emily vent such sinful thoughts.

The young seraphim has been putting up with her paranoia and jealousy for too long now by the time Sera knows.

She soon doesn't care what Sera thinks anymore.

Sera has lied to her before and Emily can't seem to let you go.

As a result, when separation doesn't work, Emily and you are deemed fallen.

By this point Emily would have completely snapped, no longer pure like she once was.

You're terrified but Emily prioritizes keeping you happy as always.

Being fallen is the best for both of you, right?

Now you two can be with one another without judgment.

Yet you only seem to look at the corrupted seraphim with hatred now....

Overall, Emily would be in denial of her obsession.

Yet slowly, over time, she breaks down and gives in.

The moment she does...

She's doomed you both.

[jaeyunluvbot]

[ RECKLESS DRIVING ! ]

chapter fifteen. yikes

౨ৎ The last thing you expected from today was to end up in an argument with Jake. You had felt pretty pleased with the way your friendship was progressing, if not a tinge bittersweet about how he most likely didn't reciprocate your romantic feelings.

When he first texted you asking for you to come to his soccer game, you'd been excited, but now you wish you'd just declined his invitation.

The game didn't go well, to say the least, knocking the HYBE U soccer team out of contention for the playoffs. It wasn't the fault of any specific player, the SM Tigers were just a really good team.

Once the game was over, you and Beomgyu looked at each other cringing at the devastating loss the team had just faced.

"Should we say something to them?" You ask hesitantly, not sure on how to approach the situation.

"I guess we should, they already know we're here, so it'd probably be worse not to say anything."

You nod and grab your stuff, following Beomgyu down to the field. You frown as you see the crestfallen looks on the team's faces, wanting nothing more than to make them feel better.

Beomgyu smiles awkwardly at Yeonjun and Kai, who seem to lighten up a bit at the presence of their friend.

"You guys played really well today, for what it's worth," You say, having found Jake standing off a bit away from the team.

he laughs sarcastically and shakes his head, "Not well enough, apparently." You frown at the self-deprecating tone of his voice.

"The tigers are just really good, there wasn't much you could've done, Jake."

You try to offer him some semblance of comfort, placing your hand on his shoulder and wincing when he shrugs it off.

"What, so we're just not good enough them?" He asks accusingly, refusing to make eye contact with you.

"Jake, that's not what I meant, I promise." You feel yourself growing frustrated at his attitude, despite knowing that he was just having a bad day.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter." He spits, anger clear in his tone.

"It's ok to feel upset at this, it's a big loss, it'd be weird if you weren't upset."

He scoffs at you, "Like you know anything about soccer anyways..."

You shrink back from him, feeling his distaste towards you in that moment. "Ok, I can tell you're not super happy right now, so I'm just gonna go. I hope you have a good night and text me whenever you're ready to talk."

You turn away from him, a burning-hot pit of negative emotions building slowly in your stomach. You make your way to Beomgyu who looks at you questioningly but you shake your head and begin to lead him out of the stadium.

"Yeah whatever, just run home with your little boyfriend." You freeze in your tracks as you hear Jake yelling behind you.

Beomgyu grabs your arm as you turn around, silently pleading with you not to say anything, but you ignore him, marching up to Jake.

"He's not my boyfriend, and just because you lost today, that doesn't mean you get to use me as a punching bag. I've been nothing but nice to you, so don't start yelling at me."

"Whatever Y/N just leave, you're making me feel worse and I can't deal with you right now."

His eyes still won't meet yours so you blink back tears and ball up your fists, nails cutting into your palms.

"I was just leaving anyways, don't text me, Jake." You turn away from him and Beomgyu rushes to you, grabbing your hand and dragging you out of the stadium, ignoring the worried looks from the other members of the team.

"Real nice Jake, she was just trying to comfort you." Jungwon speaks seriously.

"Whatever, fuck this, I'm leaving." Jake heads to the locker room by himself, still seething.

⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒

You and Beomgyu begin the walk back to your apartment as you try to hold back tears, not wanting to cry at some simple words.

"Y/N, are you ok? That was kind of intense." Beomgyu stops walking, moving your hair from your face and examining your expression.

"I'm fine Beomgyu, I just- I just guess he's not the guy I thought he was." You say, stuttering as you hiccup and hold back the tears that are now even more threatening than before.

The rest of the walk back to your apartment is filled with an uneasy silence, and you immediately head into your room when you arrive, turning off your phone and locking the door.

You can hear Winter and Ningning interrogating Beomgyu, using hushed tones, clearly not wanting you to hear.

You cry silently as you lay in the dark, wondering how today went so wrong. 𝜗𝜚

𝜗𝜚 author's note - some angst today coz i love making myself upset. jake is kinda a dick but yeah.

𝜗𝜚 taglist - @dreamiestay @haechansbbg @n1k1mura @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @lilifiedeans @dojaejunging @rikisly @nctsshoes2 @seunghancore @bluxjun @noobgod1269