#can't tell how I'm proud with myself for this💅💅💅

[tia-arte]

Fact: Rumple is the Barbie fan #1

That's what's actually happened in this episode.

[thetriumphantpanda]

HELLO PANDA DARLING <33 Firstly, I'd like to give you a HUGE congratulations on your 500 follower milestone!!! It's so incredibly well deserved!! We're all so proud of you <3 May you continue thriving and never suffer from writer's block 😎

SECONDLY I have a smut request for all the slutty bitches out there (it's me. I'm slutty bitches 💅). I would please like “Shall we put that mouth to better use?” with Javi P because we all KNOW he's the absolute KING of brattamers.

THANKS BABE <33 I SEND LOVE, STAY SPICY ❤‍🔥

HELLO YOU PERFECT DARLING 🧡 Firstly, thank you so much - you have no idea how much this means to me! I'm so happy that you're hear and you're enjoying what I'm producing, it means the world to me!

I'm sorry it took a while to get round to this request - I've had a mental week - but it's hot here in London and I can't bring myself to anything else so I'm working on more of these prompts! I'm not great at brat tamer!Javi, so this is ROUGH. I AM SORRY. But I hope you enjoy it still.

I LOVE YOU 🫶🏼

Pairing | Javier Pena x Female Reader

Word Count | 562

Warnings | Spicy language, allusions to oral sex and fucking, but nothing explicit (I know, who else is shocked, I know I am)

This is part of my 500 followers celebration. If you want to request a 500 word Drabble, check out this post and head into my ask box. The more the merrier. And you can read the previous drabbles here.

Main Masterlist

She had a smart mouth. Javi assumes that’s probably why he likes her so much. On her first day at the admin desk, Javi had ambled down after hearing about the ‘pretty new administrator’ – those had been Steve’s words and their types were very different, but he couldn’t resist a look, and damn Steve had been right. He’d been smitten almost immediately. He wasn’t used to being told no, so when you’d repeatedly turned down his advances, he couldn’t lie, he was frustrated. 

“I like your nails, querida, the colour suits your eyes.” 

“I think I heard flavour of the week last week telling you hers would look good around your cock,” You replied, dry tone, “You’ll not get that from me, so hurry up and tell me what you want.” 

That had been the first time you’d left him speechless; you were always so blunt with him. He was used to women playing coy, making him chase but giving in anyway. This was different. You were different. 

“Can I buy you a drink, hermosa?” Friday night, embassy staff bar night. 

“I can buy my own and not feel obligated to fuck you, so I’m okay thank you, Agent Peña,” You were going to turn away from him, “But maybe if you ask Intern Number 4 over there, you’ll have more luck, she’s been practically deep throating her straw whilst watching you.”

Intuitive too, he had to hand it to you, he hadn’t noticed the intern at all, more focused on the curve of your ass in the bar stool and the shirt that was unbuttoned down to the neckline of your vest underneath. 

He was starting to lose the will to live. He’d never really wanted anyone so badly in his life, all because you never really gave into him. So, when he’s stuck with Murphy and you, grounded from field work as some sort of punishment, organizing the embassy archives, he knows this is his chance. 

He curses Steve silently all day for taking your side, the both of them make comments all day – Steve starts with, “I think this is the only time I’ve been in a room full of women Peña hasn’t fucked.” Then a little while later, when he’s confused with the filing system, you’re rolling your eyes with a “They’re sorted alphabetically, Javier, how the hell did you pass basic and end up here?” 

Steve dips out at five, if he’s not needed for fieldwork then he’s not staying in the filing room past hours – he leaves with a shot over his shoulder for the two of you to behave. Javier is looking at you as he says it and there’s a smirk across your face. Bingo. 

“You don’t wanna behave, do you querida?” 

He’s walked up behind you, catching you between his two arms that he has placed on either side of you, resting them on the desk. He stifles a groan as you press your ass back into him, “Depends what you had in mind, Peña?” You’d turned to face him, body impossibly close to his own. 

He moves a hand and tilts your chin up to look at you properly, his lips just millimeters from your own. He wanted to press a kiss there so badly, but now was not the time. 

“Shall we put that smart mouth of yours to better use?” 

[midnightmisadventures]

Just putting this here for archival purposes for when I'm looking back wondering what was going on in this stretch

....THIS IS REALLY HARD

Idk I just want it know that this stretch of time feels like...the hardest ever as far as needing like strength, resilience, and a genuine motivation to want to keep getting better and changes and improvements

Like I'm so blessed ofc

But work is so hard and stressful and CONSISTENTLY makes me confront my biggest fears and also accept my biggest flaws. My biggest struggles are.....to be human and let other people see me struggle for one

So being vulnerable and transparent. Gentle parenting myself bc I want to commit su*c*de every time I make a minor mistake

Which is always. Because I'm a baby in this industry and I'm learning how to have a career?? Like I don't get why I'm so hard on myself when im.doing this for the first time but anyway

Generally, this is the most anxious/depressed/ and adhd since high-school and even then daily tasks were overwhelming. And I just had homework

Now with the addys I'm experimenting with all of my medicine at once and I feel like my body is this guinea pig and I'm overwhelmed bc the people who want to see me get better want a constant assessment. (Or I at least feel pressure that they do) And I don't even know what feelings are mine and not? What's normal, what's not. I don't know what things are supposed to feel like

How many pills are too many pills to take?? I'm getting an ulcer. If you're wondering why I feel so alone and confused about medicines it's because my psychiatrist is an IDIOT!! Like does not care if I'm dead or alive and I'm not kidding that man doesn't bother to remember my name.

Oh yea I have an eating disorder again!! That's been fun. Imagine being the most insecure I've ever been about my weight but I can't eat? And the pressure of having so many pills to take and your body not letting you eat is so hard

But shh don't tell anyone I'm struggling with food cause I've been begging to get on a medicine that's an appetite suppressant

(In my defense it was prescribed to me knowing my problems with food) (but also my psychiatrist is an idiot)

Hmmm let's see oh yea my abscess is back!? So much pain on my chest and I can't take off commuting 4 hours to work and back because I already did that this week to deal with my mental breakdown ✨️💅

So.....it's been hard there's a lot. Lots and lots of crying and self numbing.

But this wasn't to complain. I just want to note that yes the blog is empty but I'm proud of myself for literally just getting up everyday and trying to makes thing better. And trying and trying and trying. When sometimes I feel like giving up (and going to the psychward)

And it's been really hard to hate myself for feeling like a basket case who can't live like an adult.....

See everything's flipped 😏

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, March 5th, 2024!

1:07am: Just going to keep journaling so I don't go insane. My ex keeps jerking me around and I can't continue to care. He's so wrapped up in his own emotion, he will never be capable of actually being a good friend. He never asks if I'm ok or tries to make casual conversation, it's just all about him and his constant state of drama. I just can't relate to him anymore and I can't continue on the way I've been trying to. There's literally not much I can control or change about this situation, I can only be responsible for how I react to it I guess.

On another note, I finished my laundry! Tomorrow I will get up, take a shower, shaving is not necessary I just need to clean myself so literally no pressure. Drink some water, take my vitamin, hang out with my cats. Probably take a tums bc my farts are DEADLY rn and I don't know why RIP. If I do shave it would probably just be my coochie tbh. Some light weed whacking lmao. If I keep farting like rotten eggs I'm definitely not making any man plans tomorrow 🤣 I cantttttt haha

I think tomorrow I might clean out my closet now that it's clean?? There's so many items I never wear tbh. Maybe shave up to my knees and get a pedicure?? Maybe go on FB marketplace or thrift for some nightstand things or some dollar tree cubbies for this stuff I've had on the floor forever. I just randomly remembered my coats are in my trunk and I feel like I'm gonna forget where they are. Maybe return those things to the library omg and go to bath n body works and get real deodorant and laundry detergent

So many thoughts going through my mind omg I just had diarrhea while writing this 😭 please go away tummy problems. I wonder if it was me pounding tajin with my margarita I literally don't know.

I need to figure out where I wanna take myself out to before the show tomorrow! Aaaaa so many possibilities!! This week has already been so perfect and it's not over yet! I love my life! It's so crazy to love my life after going through so much trauma but here I am, stronger than ever!! :) I'm so proud of myself ❤️

8:57am: Nah tell me why I got on tinder this morning (early bird 🤣) and damn these guys are just ehh. Idk how tf I'm ever gonna take any of them seriously again. I'm just pretty hardened after everything, not really in a bad way, but in a needed way if you ask me. I feel like I don't know what I'm looking for lol I feel like if you know what you're looking for, you go out and pursue it?? But idk so it's more challenging. Tbh I just want to have fun like I'm in my fboi era fr. Curving dudes when they get serious n shit 💀

9:40am: ok time to get up lmao. I'll find a guy eventually so actually no rush 🤣 I got my two little furry boys and that's what really matters. I want to get all gussied up today just bc I can. Lil man bawling his eyes out not being able to speak to me anymore bc he knows he fucked up is a crazy way to live. Having to live with the guilt of cheating on someone.... Couldn't be me 🙄😂

I get to continue my life knowing that I'm a bomb af gf and anyone would be damn lucky to have me (once they get to know me!) if I don't meet people then they'll never know! I got ppl who don't even speak English wanting another date fr.

11:02pm: I'm just gonna keep shooting my shot until something sticks I think. I really do believe it's a numbers game anymore, if you talk to 0 ppl or put all your eggs into 1 basket likeeee you're not going to get far and it's gonna take 500 years, 100 years to even get a date at that rate. I wanna be like that girl who went on what 50 dates in a year?? Like go off queen 💅 at least you'll have 50 stories to tell if nothing else haha, plus I need the practice ong.

I like the journaling instead of trying to text him, it's so much better. N+T were right, he just needs to learn his lesson, that's so sad your friend literally had to say that about his best man like if my MOH turned out to be a flaming bag of shit like how embarrassing (for the POS) and seriously sad and fucked up :( .

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

I went through the Masterlist! And I have thoughts! :D

I love thoughts 😄 *gets comfy so I can read through these and appreciate them*

The title: The World of Fire & Flight Now, you'd think my brain would first think of dragons but no lol After some thought, I think the vibes I got from the title alone were steampunk - y'know, fire to power your flying device Now, from the cover… lol no, it's fantasy. Could have steampunk, who's to say, but there's some romance or love stuff probably coz of the rose BUT! the rose is not red! (the curtains are blue 😂)  Also, the entire vibe of the rose wilting behind a transparent dome reminds me of Beauty and the Beast!

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU HOW AMAZING MY COVER DESIGNER WAS! I HAD LIKE 3 THREE DIFFERENT CONCEPTS BUT SHE LIKED THIS ONE SO WE WENT WITH IT AND PLAYED WITH IT AND COLORS AND ALL THIS STUFF AND THEN I CRIED WHEN I GOT TO SEE THE FINAL COVER DESIGN BECAUSE THE SYMBOLISM AND THEN SEEING IT NEXT TO THE OTHER COVERS WAS JUST

IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER!!! MY COVER DESIGNER IS AMAZING AND I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE ALL THREE BOOKS SIDE BY SIDE ONE DAY AND SHOW OFF ALL THREE DESIGNS SO Y'ALL CAN SEE 'EM TOO BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST SO PRETTY😭

But yes, there's lots of symbolism on that cover and it builds in the next two and yeah the curtains are blue lol (actually I think there's actually a scene where I wrote in blue curtains specifically because of the tumblr post about it...it could be something else I wrote too, so I'm not sure off the top of my head).

(Also, I would 1000% read a steampunk fantasy where fire powers flying devices).

There are those that tell stories about the legends of the Shadow Forest, of magical waters that grant your deepest desires, and of times long ago when ancient sorcerers wielded unnatural power.

"deep waters hold reflections of times lost long ago"

🎶I will hear their every story / take hold of my own dream / be as strong as the seas are stormy / and proud as an eagle's scream🎶

I DID THE SAME THING WHEN I READ THE BLURB! Which of course meant I *had* to do a dramatic reading with an awful Scottish accent (pretty sure I'd offend 99% of Scotland if I ever shared that reading publicly because I'm awful at accents omg)

(Merida's one of my 3 favorite princess, so I'm well versed in Touch the Sky to the point where I'm pretty sure if it comes on again my family will kill me....I've got a habit of "overplaying songs," apparently lmao)

Now idk where I read it first so I'll just put it here: I can't stop thinking about the sapphire leaves! The shade of blue in my head is so pretty!I wanna see a whole forest with sapphire leaves 😍💙💙💙

Same! I've already decided that if Fire & Flight ever gets popular enough to be adapted for screen there will be limited use of CGI. I don't care if I have to build the set myself, I want to actually walk in the Shadow Forest and make the trees and just ahhhhh set building's gonna have to be my new hobby :)

After the death of her family 

HER ENTIRE FAMILY?! 🤯

Well...at least it's not a secret???? I think she has distant relatives in her mother's homeland, but they're not close enough and if they were I wouldn't have a story (I do have a HC that she eventually visits them but that's a long way off from the story)

Without a home and longing for the family she’s lost, Nyla retreats into herself.

Poor Nyla 😭😢

I know! I'm such an awful person to my characters😅

But when her new plan for answers brings her to a crossroads with a fellow traveler named Xander—whose own painful past is also a mystery—Nyla must decide if she can trust a stranger. But even if she can learn to trust, could her very connection to Xander place them both in peril?

He's the love interest, isn't he? 💅 /lh

[no comment]

(In all seriousness, I didn't set out to write them as love interests, but the potential and the connection between the two is definitely there. Pretty sure my developmental editor is the biggest shipper. There was a scene and all she left was the comment "#TeamXander" so uh...yeah. I think I set Xander up as the love interest. Whoops🤣).

Nyla is a young woman of seventeen with keen instincts and a good  heart. The second youngest in her family, 

Her dead family? 😭

I'M SORRY OKAY! I like to believe they're with her...in spirit...👀

Nyla (pronounced Nie-luh) has strong roots that extend through Tenebris’ history, as well as new roots  to her mother’s homeland. 

Interesting...🔎

Hehehehehe yeah....

At one point this led to me spiraling down a genealogy panic that my parents witnessed and then had to me unravel. And then we all collectively remembered I'm writing fantasy and so...I could do what I want (I do think we actually figured it out but oh boy was the panic real for a solid forty minutes)

Once the life of the party — no, seriously, Nyla  was the last one dancing at the Harvum  Feast four years in a row during a traditional jig-type dance! — Nyla  has grown to be a timid introvert who clings to myths and legends as a  means of comfort. The mischievous and lively spark inside of Nyla has  gone dormant… or has it?

OH! That's interesting! Yeah, makes sense she'd be traumatized. Just, I can't remember when I last saw such an extrovert go through a tragedy. Usually they're just minor characters whose tragic backstory we see through flashbacks - think: Commander from Wreck it Ralph.

RIGHT?! It's usually the introvert evolving into an extrovert and that's nice and all but like...there's a freedom I enjoy in being an introvert and I guarantee you other people feel the same way.

World of Fire & Flight #4: Meet the Delhart Family!

Reading this is like you're twisting a knife in my heart since I know they all die 💔😭

Fun fact about these: I cried. Hysterically. While writing them and making up hopes and dreams and fleshing them out.

Pro tip (for writers): If you kill off a bunch of characters, let them stay dead. Don't give them dreams. You WILL cry over keyboard or late at night when you realize that the one character was gonna (I've said too much BUT it's canon in the companion guide and I did it to myself and yeah I cried. A lot.)

Read as Xander’s journey helps him grow into who he was always meant to be in my upcoming novel, Fire & Flight!

I like that line, it's so sweet! 🥰

I forgot I wrote this line, but I remembered the vibe because it's actually his arc tbh. I'm so glad you brought it back to my attention because yeah. All the feels and gushiness for my sweet darling Xander.

Shamira

Shamira's a cat!  And she's gonna have character development and a backstory too? Intriguing! 🤩

Fun fact about Shamira (and the pumpkies as a whole): She's inspired by my cat and yes I did name an entire species after my childhood cat. (Her name was Pumpkin but we called her Pumpkie a lot)

Now that may not sound like pumpkin spice and everything nice

That's brilliant XD

*dramatic bow* thank you!

Despite being the coldest season of the year, Serenmae has become synonymous with warmth and happiness to Fire & Flight’s main characters, Nyla and Xander. 

Awwww, that's some nice irony :))) 

Can you tell that winter's my favorite season??? There's just something about the period between Halloween and the day after Christmas that I absolutely love. GIVE ME ALL THE HOLIDAYS AND BAKED GOODS! (You can keep New Year's though. Not a fan. Like I don't have a reason, I just don't like it).

(*magically fueled power, enchanted energy that provides light, heat, etc., to homes in most areas; some places are too remote or widespread to fuel with Magicity at this time and people are against Magicity because they don’t trust in its dependability.) 

Yes! Give me magic tech! 🤩

I'll try! I really loved getting to blend elements of different time periods and innovations but with magic so it's something I wholeheartedly want to do more of as I think of things😄

But one thing is certain: the Shadow Forest is haunted, and it’s waiting for you to explore its secrets in Fire & Flight, coming soon.

Bro, wut The Shadow Forest wants to kill me XDXDXD

Nah, you're good...just don't go too far😉

It’s a service and civil duty meant to better the country for the future and make the present a better place to live for as many people as possible. 

That’s the dream smh :’)

Catch me writing a utopia cause I can. It's my world, so my rules 🤣🤣🤣

learn how their history intersects with my characters’ histories

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I AM. CURIOUS. 🤔🤔🤔

😄 I was too for a long time until I actually nailed down the plot (F&F was something I started in class and then continued for funsies so there was no plan, but I've got it *mostly* figured out now!)

the sound of a niphony chorus can bring Nyla back to fond memories and her roots.

Lol, what if she's scared of them XD They’re homely, yes, but what if she's scared of them and so they remind her of home but also scare her if they come too close XD What if she's trying to sleep under the stars, and she hears them and she's reminded of home so she's drifting off...BUT! She remembers she's not at home right now, she's out in the open, and therefore those bugs can crawl on her... cue her being anything but relaxed XD

When you put it like that I guess they're not so cute lol. That right there is 100% why I don't like camping and have never been.

Sagittarii

Ah yes, but the legendary Ariesii are still the bestest, that's just fact ♈

You get it. You 100% know my secret to making up fantasy words.

But if we're being honest Aquarians are where's it at♒ /jk

Raverins 

Y’know, I would’ve thought that the cat-like pumpkies would turn out to be my favorite Tenebris animal, but the ambiguous history of the Raverins is so intriguing! They’re thought to be a bad omen but are revered by the military and royal family? Ooohhh, what foreshadowing or betrayal or plot twists await! 🤩

Raverins are my favorite too but my graphic designer/cover artist did such an amazing job bringing all of the animals of Tenebris to life that each addition was basically met with me squealing and deciding this one is my actual favorite. But given their role in the book (okay so there's 1 raverin actually in the book as a character but still), raverins are probably my fave followed by niphonies because look at them!

She is often associated with Pyrosas (pie-rosas), a nocturnal creature of the flames with charcoal-colored eyes that are said to damn the souls of those foolish enough to meet their gaze.

Ooohhh, I love it when fictional animals are associated with people! 

If I had to assign an animal to Nyla and Xander, I'd have to go with shadowjays for Nyla and....Xander's a hard one. I think he'd be best associated with pumpkies tbh because of their fierce loyalty and protectiveness.

Corruptio

After reading their name: XDXDXD I’m sure they’re such a nice person, an absolute angel! /s After seeing picture:  …well, he looks very polite I love it when the character isn’t dark or light, just logical! Logical neutral my beloved! 🥰

Corruptio, my other sweet darling character. So yeah, the misconception is fun for me as a writer because I definitely think that happens a lot in life and I wanted to show that balance of light/dark and play around with moral ambiguity as a theme.

Offering encouragement and strength when needed, Balmae provides the steadfast resolution needed to overcome whatever may test the will and morality of humans

Cooolll! I would’ve thought Corruptio’s counterpart would be chaos as in lawful vs chaos, but it sounds more yin and yang! Awesome!

Yes! Yin and yang was definitely my goal with Corruptio x Balmae (and yes I am making it canon that they're basically married because I LOVE the relationship I have between them in my head. Maybe I'll write something about them one day to show what they're dynamic is like....)

---

Now... the idea I had I told you about @world-of-fire-and-flight:

Nyla talking about her family:

Derek, my big brother

Dreams to be like our mother

A scholar of the arts and facts too

To hunt through books all night

To use his brain, not fight

Yes, my brother Derek has a dream!

---

He's got a dream

He's got a dream

My darling brother Westley has a dream too

To draw the great unknown

Plus the quiet mundane of home

The muses sure have blessed my darling bro

---

And then there’s my baby sister

My conniving baby sister

Like all my lovely siblings she has a dream

A dream…to be queen and rule us all!

(Hey, she’s the baby of the family, at least she promises to be kind…kinda)

So, yes, she’s got a dream!

---

Ain’t it grand?

Having a dream worth fighting for?

---

Ain’t it grand?

Having a family worth fighting for?

---

Ain’t it grand?

Having a home worth fighting…

...for...

---

Yup! Think of it as payback for killing off the Delharts and then making me read about them after I know they're dead! How cruel! You're truly a writer! You "angst my beloved" writer! /lh

I'M SCREAMING!!!! Here I was bopping along to I've Got a Dream: Delhart Edition and then BAM! Someone burned down my entire village! 😭😭😭 Well played, @feline17ff, well played.

(In all seriousness, I loved this! THANK YOU! Reading this all through made my day and I actually saw this at like 5 AM so I while I was dying laughing, I had to be quiet because the rest of the house was sleeping and then I was crying and then I was laughing again and I genuinely don't know how I managed to keep it all in. Conceal, don't feel, don't them know works I guess LOL. 💜💜💜

You are now the recipient of another Writer Award: Writer Whumper 🗡️

I'M DEAD! Thank you? I always thought I was a caretaker sort, but I guess my keyboard brings out my evil side *flourishes cape* *hangs this award beside my love triangle award*💜💜

Anyway, glad to hear your book's doing well ✨✨✨ All the best with book 2! 🌟🌟🌟

Thanks, bestie! Thank you for all of this wonderful commentary and for making my day💜💜💜 Hope all is well with you and that all the best things happen to you!

World of Fire & Flight Masterlist

Every worldbuilding and introduction post for my YA Fantasy/Fantasy Adventure/Gaslamp Fantasy novel, Fire & Flight, right at your fingertips! Go ahead and dive into the world of F&F!

Synopsis

Ways to Shop:

United States

United Kingdom

Canada

France

Japan

India

Fire & Flight is available internationally through Amazon, I just haven't listed every country where Amazon is available. If I haven't listed your country or you're unable to purchase F&F through any of the above links, please try searching for Fire & Flight on your country's Amazon :)

Character Intros

Nyla

Delhart Family

Xander

Shamira

Kingdom of Tenebris: Culture, Country, and Fun Facts

Harvum

Serenmae

Myths of the Shadow Forest

Government & Politics

Animals of Tenebris

Pollies

Shadowjays

Pumpkies

Pumpkie Clans

Helloxes

Aquaerials

Pyrosas

Niphonies

Chirpets

Sagittarii

Taddles

Raverins

Religion

Overview

Helpet

Corruptio

Balmae