#can't do better than them in the buffyverse

[ptieuca]

In 243 years, I've loved exactly one person. I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life.

[angelthemanspanker]

13, 16 and 22 for the ask game??

13. Worst blorbofication

I'm gonna assume this is basically fandom flanderization and say I feel a certain personal animosity for any interpretation of Drusilla that removes the danger of her. Like having her be so out of it that the Scoobs could just wander up and start chatting and she'd be perfectly civil bc she's just so crazy she doesn't even know they're her enemies, or just writing her as being just a tall hot child who's nice to everyone bc she doesn't know better and wouldn't even think to hurt anyone if Daddy didn't say so. I think people get tripped up by the fact that we don't see her away from the Whirlwind or just Spike very often and she's VERY affectionate with them and pays most of her attention to them rather than their food, but with humans she is very much a dangerous vampire who gets genuine delight out of torturing and killing people and lets not forget killed a Slayer. Respect my girl she didn't kill all those people for nothing

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

why are there so many fics where Xander gets powers. the fuck is he gonna do with those he has work in the morning

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I'm not sure if this is a fair answer bc it's more that I've never seen anyone talk about it but the buffyverse vision mindscape is. So fascinating to me. Slayers get prophetic dreams but once there's two they seem to share them. Doyle and Cordelia and Birthdayverse!Angel all pass around a link to "the visions". Drusilla has "the sight", which seems to be different in that its always on, she can always see beyond herself, she can see the stars through the ceiling during the day. Lorne can feel when Cordy is about to have a vision and presumably gets similar glimpses of the future when he reads people. Buffy's spirit guide knows she's going to die and what will lead her there. When Faith and Buffy are both unconscious on the verge of death they can have a full blown conversation in a psychic space thats in one or both or neither of their heads, they're not sure, and while she's there Faith even feels that Buffy is going to die in 730 days but neither of them can make sense of the jumbled info as Faith got it ("Miles to go, Little Miss Muffet counting down from 7-3-0"), like Cordy sometimes gets visions she can't understand. There's something about how it seems like all the glimpses into the future come from the same place ("the visions"). Slayers have a natural link to it they can access unconsciously in dreams or consciously for a cryptic warning from the spirit guide in the desert, agents of the PTB can be tuned into it for a few agonising moments at a time to get the bare minimum info they need to act on, rare people like Dru and Lorne can passively perceive some aspects of it, it's just so MUCH. And it's ALL THE SAME THING they all just perceive it differently. I obsess.

Thanks for the ask 👏

[faithlesbian]

ive been holding off on posting this bc ive been formulating my thoughts (also i never post) but since it seems we're having a racism in the buffyverse/fandom moment (should be every moment!) I figured now would be a good time to vent my feelings on the first slayer.

I do a lot of hobbyist research into the stone age its a long running special interest of mine, and ive just finished writing my dissertation on a number of things including primitivism in contemporary culture. so drawing from that i wanted to expand on the tags I left on the previous post, with the clarification that i am white and european and therefore am speaking from that perspective on this subject.

as far as I can remember, the original Buffy movie had flashbacks to the medieval period, with a white medieval woman in these flashbacks implied to be the first slayer. if that's right and I'm not just misremembering, this would tie in to the pop culture associations of this era with catholicism, witch hunts, gothic castles; all of which further ties into popular vampire lore. however, the tv show leans away from this, with vampires being the only demons vulnerable to christian iconography and most of the worldbuilding drawing from multitheistic (not sure if this is the right word) traditions, preferring pantheons of minor gods, demons as folkloric monsters rather than fallen angels, and the existence of multiple hell dimensions.

the way the show does this is often very primitivist, primitivism here meaning the (often harmful) romanticisation of cultures and eras considered "less advanced", interpreting them as therefore more exotic, interesting, or just plain better than modern western society and in doing so flattening them into solely an appealing primitive fantasy.

examples of this can be seen in the foreign and/or dead languages used in magic and demon research, the appropriated eastern and African imagery used in weapons and costumes, the writing of characters like kendra (who's "people" seem to know a lot about the supernatural but are never actually named), jenny calendar (who carries plot-relevant cultural knowledge from her mysticised "people"), and nikki wood, through whose son buffy learns the ancient - primitive - origins of the first slayer.

the choice to relocate the origins of the slayer from medieval europe to (im assuming, since they never specify) paleolithic africa make a lot of sense in context of the shows de-emphasing of christianity in their vampire lore. this would change the slayer from a warrior chosen by the church to fight unholy creatures, to a defender of humanity at large from folkloric monsters. it also makes the slayer line a lot longer, extending far back into human history.

you'd think.

because the problem is im not honestly convinced anyone writing these episodes knows or cares about the accepted findings that show homo sapiens originated in africa, I can't honestly say it comes across that they were trying to imply that the slayer existed before the first waves of human migration by depicting her as they did. i dont actually know if these characters are intended to come from the stone age or just an ambiguous pre-colonial africa and im being very generous by writing this post the way i have. I think they made the very simple connection of "primitive = cool and mysterious" to "black = primitive". the depictions of the first slayer and first watchers are tangibly racist. their treatment by the narrative is tangibly racist.

the first slayer is depicted as animalistic, brutal, and vengeful, but rather than have buffy empathise with her over their shared experience of being used as a tool of violence, the episode has buffy mock and belittle her down to making a joke about her unprofessional hair. the first watchers are set up as the backward patriarchal villains for buffy and willow to overcome by rewriting the terms of the slayer lineage, in both cases black characters are vilified to make white women seem cooler, more self-possessed, more powerful.

it's not just the treatment of individual characters. its fundamental pillars of the lore. non-european (and some minority european) cultures are consistently used to be spooky, occult, and exotic set dressing, while two whole season finales hinge on abject primitivism and antiblackness.

to clarify, i think in another show with a different writing team, the depiction of scientifically accurate (i.e. dark-skinned) early homo sapiens could be achieved in a wholly inoffensive way if these characters were simply written as people. removing the layers of primitivism from the first slayer reveals a traumatised girl who was forced to fight, just like fandom-beloved characters buffy and faith, albeit from a very different time period. but the layers of primitivism are the reason why she was written in the first place. the "primal" is mysterious, spooky, powerful, and therefore makes for good writing without ever having to clarify what it is you mean when you say "primal".

stone age people were not animalistic manifestations of modern-day people's repressed subconscious. they were people. the refusal to see this is another branch from the same root - that the writers see cultures and people outside of the modern west as less-than. but if their language sounds cool for a summoning chant, then they get to be less-than in a ~cool and mysterious~ way, i guess.

[moistvonlipwig]

BtVS for the favorite things ask game?

ok!!!

my favorite female character: Cordelia of course.....though if we're counting her more as an AtS character then it'd be poor beleaguered Anya, who has too much sense by far for the rest of the Scoobies to handle.

my favorite male character: Spoike my horrible little man who is faking his accent and cheats at kitten poker <3 he sucks sooo bad (affectionate) (also objectively true since he is a vampire)

my favorite book/season/etc: This one's tricky -- I think S5 probably takes it in the end, although I think the overall arc of S2 is very impressive and the highs are higher. But I prefer big sister Buffy to only child Buffy and the later seasons cast line-up to the early seasons cast line-up, and S2 has a lot of bad episodes, whereas S5's worst episodes are just kind of whatever. S3 is also very strong overall, but it doesn't emotionally grab me the way S2 and S5 do.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): This one's even trickier! I think "Becoming" (especially its second part) is definitely in the running for its amazing character work for Buffy and the whole cast. "Lovers Walk" gets points for the sheer amount of fun it packs into its runtime. "Who Are You?" is another contender, largely due to SMG's absolute tour-de-force performance as Faith. "Restless" would be a contender if it weren't for the horrifically racist treatment of the First Slayer that infects the entire episode, which knocks it soundly off its otherwise well-earned pedestal. "The Gift" is very, very good as well. (I'm not as big on "The Body" as everyone else -- it's good, I just don't think it's one of the show's top episodes.) And I think "Dead Things" is probably the most challenging episode the show ever put forth, which I appreciate deeply. (I enjoy the songs in OMWF a lot, but as an episode I don't think it's super cohesive, so while it's up there for me, I don't think I can say it's the show's best.)

my favorite cast member: I honestly don't really tend to get super invested in actors, so, idk? I guess I'd say that, while she's nowhere near the show's strongest actor -- in fact I would argue she's one of those actors who is extremely good at playing one specific part and basically can't play anything else -- I nonetheless have a lot of respect for Eliza Dushku as a person, what with how she's spoken up about the sexual abuse, harassment, and mistreatment she's faced within the industry, and how she threw her full support behind the people speaking up about Joss Whedon despite having a positive experience with him herself.

my favorite ship: Most of my favorite Buffyverse ships are AtS ships, but my favorite BtVS ship is ultimately probably Buffy/Spike, despite, um, everything -- I think they have a lot of really fun interactions and I buy their friendship in early S6 and S7, and I appreciate that the show made some attempt (YMMV how successful it was) to deconstruct and problematize the enemies-to-lovers trope. That said, my ideal endgame for them is that they end up as friends, not lovers. And the way some people talk about that ship on here is......well. It's something innit. In terms of other ships I like: despite what I'm about to say about Giles below, I do like his interactions with Anya a lot and I feel like there were some romantic implications in "Grave" that weirdly never got picked up again in S7. I think a Giles/Anya romance would be a lot better than S7 trying to resurrect the shuffling corpse of Xander/Anya. ...Although, I'm also a "Willow should've killed Giles in Grave" truther, so, I'll also propose a Willow/Anya romance, because they had good chemistry in "Selfless" and it'd be funny.

a character I’d die defending: It used to be Dawn and Cordelia, but honestly the fandom has cooled off a lot when it comes to hating those characters, so, uh, I definitely still defend them ardently when needed, but they don't need it as much these days as they used to. Buffy still gets some very weird things said about her which I think she should be defended from, although I also think there's pockets of fandom that act like she has never done a single thing wrong in her life ever, which is a point of view I also don't subscribe to. Faith I think is in a weird position where she has done some legitimately awful things, which some of her more hardcore fans gloss over, but some people are strangely hellbent on making up things she didn't do to get mad at her for, which I can't abide. People are also deeply weird about Joyce, as you know, but, like, I'm not a Joyce Fan or anything, I don't even think she's a particularly amazing mother, I just think people seem entirely incapable of seeing things from her point of view and weirdly insistent that her relationship with Buffy was worse than it was. So, IDK. Most of the women, I guess. Except Willow. Sorry Willow, I'm sure some people are weird about you too, but the narrative is too nicies to you already.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Yeah, it's Giles. He's the character who has gone down the most in my estimation over time, particularly as I've gotten older. S1 Giles is arguably sympathetic, with his fate somewhat paralleled to Buffy's, but as the show goes on, the character and worldbuilding develop to a point where it becomes pretty irrefutable that this is a guy who profits off of Buffy's suffering and could stop doing that at any time, who abandons her when she needs him most, and who then has the gall to act like he should have any say in the decisions she makes about her life afterwards. Additionally, the way he seems totally indifferent to Xander's home life and clear desire for a non-abusive father figure/masculine role model, and even more egregiously (given that it is literally his job to 'watch' her) the way he seems totally indifferent to Faith's lack of a home or family or any kind of support, is profoundly foul to me, and yet another thing that's made worse by the retcon that Giles is well-off and gets paid to do this. (The Faith stuff is even worse when you remember that Giles, too, has accidentally killed people, yet he makes no effort to try to reach out to her. Angel's attempt to reach out may have been bad, but at least it was an attempt.) I've read a lot of meta on here about how Giles was deeply affected by Jenny's death and how that made him feel like he had somehow doomed her by loving her, or even when Jenny isn't brought into it a lot of people will say that Giles thinks he is an awful person who makes people's lives worse and that's why he holds himself at such a distance, and like, that's a fine interpretation, but I don't actually see any evidence that that's true? To me that's in the realm of "Xander hates vampires because of Jesse" -- it's something that could psychologically make sense for a real person, and you could write about in a fanfic and have it be quite interesting, but I struggle to see any real basis for that idea in canon. And of course I should add that I think Giles should probably suck, for the show to work; if he's a good father figure the story doesn't really happen. But he sucks in such deeply baffling and unsympathetic ways to me that I just really don't like him anymore at this point, aside from the occasional Buffy-Giles emotional beat or snarky one-liner that makes me smile.

a character I grew to love: This one definitely goes to Buffy -- I think pre-Dawn Buffy is a well-done but ultimately fairly typical Campbell-style comic hero, whose character is largely elevated by SMG's iconic performance and by BtVS's strategy of using monster-of-the-week episodes to mirror Buffy's internal journey. I like her fine in the early seasons, but it's only really in S5 that she starts to grab my emotional attention, and it's in S6 that I truly love her -- S6 is a mess, but I think Buffy's arc in that season is utterly compelling and beautiful, and it gives me so much more affection and appreciation for her character. As for S7...well, let's just not speak of that, shall we.

my anti otp: With apologies as always to my Bangel followers & mutuals, I find Buffy/Angel to be not entirely uninteresting to think about (especially in S2, which is when I think the writers had the strongest sense of what they wanted to say with that relationship), but they are profoundly tedious to watch. Melodrama that is played straight is rarely appealing to me, and I can't for the life of me imagine them in an actual adult relationship -- what would they talk about? As Buffy herself admits, they were never actually friends, and so many of their conversations on the show just revolve around how they shouldn't and/or can't be together but they want to anyway. I also think, as the shows go on, they develop different values and their lives go in such different directions that I don't think they would work as a couple in the future, either. Both of them are better off, IMO, moving on and living separate lives.

[afteriwake]

The Fun -- 38, 39, 40

The Rest of It -- 43, 47, 48, 49

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had: Molly Hooper and Khan Noonien Singh switch roles in the Kelvinverse, where Molly is the Augment and John Harrison is her handler who falls for her? Dean Winchester trying to outdrink Dionyssus? Sherlock Holmes learning magic to fight the King of the Elves for Molly Hooper? Amy Pond meeting Sherlock as a nude model in her college art class before they become roommates? John Watson is a bigger criminal mastermind than Moriarty and has been from the start? An SGA: Atlantis rage-inducing virus hitting the NYPD? The "Demonic Forensics" series I still need to transfer over to AO3 that's a Buffyverse/Supernatural/CSIverse series I've co-written with @fadeddreaming? Sherlock and Irene conceiving a daughter when he rescues her and Sherlock subsequently raising Abigail as a single father? The Treklock crossover where everyone works at an amusement park? Sherlock solving the pool murder as a child and Moriarty getting his revenge from jail many years later? Any of the stuff written for the far-out plots in the RPG based series I wrote for @posterofamyth? Elementary!Sherlock and BBC!Sherlock being cousins with a long-lasting rivalry? Merlin teaches Sherlock (and Mololy, who is related to Morgana le Fay) magic? Molly is a vampire from day 1 of the Sherlock series? John Watson and Annabelle Fritton (from the St. Trinian's duology) are stepsiblings? Spirk in the X-Files universe? I've been writing for almost 26 years now, there's not a lot of stuff I haven't given a try at least once (except omegaverse).

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had: Mycroft and Sherlock as fae royalty, who get mixed up in Molly's civilian, non-magic life.

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters: Pulling this from my "Stuff of Improbable Legends" RPG AU: James Fucking McCoy, everyone. Originally the younger son of Leonard McCoy and Molly Hooper in his timeline, he gets sent to the past with his older sister and gets a do-over with all the horrific shit he went through. First off, the ex-girlfriend who tried to entrap him in marriage for a child that wasn't his isn't in the picture yet, and he works through a lot of his relationship issues by dating Zoe Sage...someone who used to babysit him in his timeline. Then through magical time travel shenanigans, said ex comes back, gives birth to the daughter, and Klaus Michaelson makes damn sure she gives the girl to James to take care of for however long they share the timeline...except when all the baddies from the past/future disappear, his daughter Desiree stays, so he gets to be an amazing single dad with the daughter he always wanted to raise but was never able to. And then, because life loves to fuck with him, he watches his parents get married in a whole different way at a whole different time, which somehow results in his mom giving birth to him and his sister as twins in this AU. But hey! Him and his dad get along so much better, and James is no longer a fucking mess. He's a happy person, bless him. And now I want to write more with him...

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline? My outlines are more like vague smudges on a page that makes something like a timeline, so if my characters deviate I just let them.

47. Best way to procrastinate: Get lost in a research rabbit hole.

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written? I have an ENTIRE Buffyverse series that is my "ideal persona" dating Spike. It's not up on AO3 since I can't find it in its entirety, but yeah. It's called "The Giles Saga" and was born out of a RPG I was in at the time.

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real? Molly Hooper, hands down.

[salvatoraes-moved]

so now that you've finished btvs: what would stefan be like in a buffy verse / au? ;D

you always come through with the questions i adore answering / thinking about !!!! which, i have been thinking about. i think it honestly depends on if i would plop stefan as is into the buffyverse. like if he had the same type of lore but was in sunnydale. i think he'd be ... confused & curious about the way their vampires function. he'd be curious & stunned by them not having any magic jewelry for them to be able to walk in daylight, he'd be wondering if bonnie ( or willow ) were to spell a ring for spike or angel if it would even work on them. since, buffyverse vampires aren't made through magic & tvdu ones are. or if they've ever even thought about that before or just kinda gave into not being able to be in the sunlight. shelley ( @feylived ) & i were talking about the lore changes, and she had a great way of explaining how tvdu vampires are made from magic, i.e. being able to walk in the sun with rings, their blood being able to heal humans & other stuff i can't think of right now lol. & how, in the buffyverse, vampires are kind of made through demons. it's very interesting to compare & contrast what's different about the lore. stefan would also be like damn their faces get ugly when they're feeding, and here he thought his veins were ugly lol. he'd also be wondering why they dust & basically poof when they're staked. he'd definitely be terrified at first that vampires dust away when they're staked but also so curious and intrigued to know more. he'd also be curious as to why they lose their souls & if they can live normally ( like him & damon ) without a soul or if it's more so like how they are without humanity. oh, and he'd also be like ??? ya'll can't just speed off and zoom away ??? he'd be so confused about them having to just walk everywhere.

now, as for if he was a buffyverse vampire ... i do need to think about this more but i do think he'd be mostly the same but his emotions would be less intense. i think he'd be less guilty than he is normally, without a soul his emotions wouldn't weigh him down as much as they do. & without the ripper gene being a thing in this world he'd also be much better at controlling his bloodlust & he'd probably be able to feed without killing. i also think even without a soul, he'd still be kind & calm, not like a normal vampire. because when is he ever normal ? lol. he's a lot like angel but i think he'd be even more so like angel in the buffyverse, even without his soul. he'd probably feed from humans in the verse but still wouldn't kill anyone. something about stefan is he's always going to be a good person, even if it's harder for him in this verse. he'd definitely hate how he acts and have a little bit of guilt, but not nearly as much as in the tvdu since he most likely never ripped through villages as a newbie vampire lol.

[dgcatanisiri]

The thing about my ridiculousness is that it always STARTS so simply.

I get an idea, I start going through with it. It's like climbing a tree, just to see how far it goes. As I go through with it, the idea branches and I go further with it and chase those branches, which takes me further and further up the tree. The branches keep going and branch further, and suddenly, I end up in a mile high canopy and can't see the ground.

And this always seems to happen any time I think "oh, here's a simple little project for myself." I mean, that's how my Buffyverse expansion developed.

And now it's hitting me outside the creative - I think "oh, I'll get the Destiel fics that aren't already in my to-read list, for the sake of having as complete a collection as possible." I get through that, and then think, "when this does get transferred to my laptop and I start reading them, I should probably get some more fic and other pairings, just to have some variation." That led me to going back through various other pairings I seek out. In some cases, I've changed my expectations and what I once dismissed, now I pick up. In others, I'm probably grabbing something that I did dismiss for valid reasons and can't remember any more. And with others, considering the last time my reading of the fic I had even managed to get past the second half of the alphabet was like during lockdown in 2020, they're probably fic I have collected and actually do already have in the pile, but hey, better safe than sorry, right?

Granted, also causing problems is that I read these on my laptop, and I do not have a reliably functioning one right now, and won't for at least another month, if not more, so for the sake of managing to keep my awareness of what I have and have not read consistent and coherent, I'm basically on pause with reading them, and I'm actively watching things that add to my collection list right now, so I'm encouraging further collection...

Which is, ultimately, to say that I'm pushing the point of having 10000 fics to add to my to-read pile right now, and, at the rate I'm going and with the things I'm adding, it's not unreasonable for me to think that by the time I resume the reading proper, I'll be pushing the 20000 marker and have 40000 to-read fics in total...

All this, of course, and my listing of plot bunnies is now at 62 pages and counting, so at some point I'd like to actually put some of those together as well...

Have I mentioned that I'm a ridiculous person?

[evilwickedme]

Ok so summary

- we all ship spuffy

This is bc spike is babygirl.

- bangel is not very popular, despite being the show's main ship for about the same amount of time as spuffy

I read once a theory that og fans, who spent years with bangel, grew attached to him; but binging fans, who at most spent a few months with angel and most likely only a few weeks ended with spike, and were more likely to form an attachment to him. I also just think that spike is more appealing to the modern audience, and that James marsters is a better actor than David boreanaz during his time on the show (he did improve on ats imo). Basically: angel is not babygirl

- fuffy in second place

Joss said in one of the director's commentaries that the queer coding was intentional, and what can I say? We picked up on it.

- another ship...

A lot of people voted for this because they misunderstood the poll as being about the buffyverse instead of buffy summers. I did actually intend to put her last name in there and forgot, so that's on me. To the person who tagged their post coffy: you are so valid, and I'm sorry I didn't include it bc I do hold a soft spot in my heart for her

- biles got one vote that I know of just because I expressed dislike for it

Y'all can't be serious right now. This is the fandom opinion website. Don't change your answer because other people have an opinion on the fandom opinion website

- biley vote

Why?

- buffy/tara getting fourth place

This is my fault for skewing the results, I'm sorry, but everyone who voted for them is now required to go write fic for them right the fuck now

- billow fans

Nobody actually tagged their answer as billow, but I appreciate y'all being quiet fans. I like a good best friends to lovers and I respect your preference

*** Clear winner is spuffy, obviously.

I mean this is an m/f ship that at one point was over 75% of the vote, and that was before I clarified that I meant buffy summers and not buffyverse. I don't think I'm in a single other fandom with an m/f pairing being the most popular one (for ANY character, but it's also the number one ship over on ao3 for the show tag overall). I could analyze this to hell and back but I do just think spuffy is really successful writing with charismatic actors who have chemistry. We all have eyes (and hearts), and we're using them to be spuffy appreciators

Thanks for voting!

I ship and let ship but just know I do block biles when I go into the tag

[idabbleincrazy]

Stay, Just a Little Bit Longer

Fandom: Angel (Buffyverse)

Rating: T

Pairing: Spike & Darla

Word Count: 541

Warnings: some hurt/comfort, dialogue fic, distressed Spike

Summary: Now that Angelus has left them behind again, Spike is desperate to keep what's left of his family together, even if it's just for a little while.

A/N: written for lj comm nekid_spike for the Paired Up challenge with the Spike/Darla square.

Squares Filled: "Please don't leave me" ( @badthingshappenbingo ), "Find me a reason to stay" ( @anyfandomangstbingo ),

China, 1900

"You're leaving us, too, now, aren't you? Just like him!"

"Find me a reason to stay, Spike. You don't need me anymore. You've proven that well enough, defeated a Slayer all by yourself. You're a master vampire now, in your own right. You can take care of Dru perfectly well."

"What if I don't want to? Christ, woman, we've been a family for twenty years now! Twenty years, and you wanna just throw that all away? What, jus' 'cause Angelus couldn't be arsed to stick around? You'll get over it, you did the last time. So will Dru. But not if you leave us, too. She'll go totally 'round the bend. Please, don't leave me…don't leave us. I can protect you better than that bat-faced Sire o' yours -"

"Don't you dare speak of the Master like that, William! You don't know…what he's done for us, for me, after the shame Angelus almost brought upon us all."

"What shame?! Why do you still refuse to talk about what happened with him? Two years, it's been, since the first time he scarpered off on us, in Romania, and I still don't have a ruddy clue as to why! He was supposed to be my Sire, Dru's Sire, an' he just fobbed us off on you…an' now you're doin' the same bloody thing. I won't have it, Darla, not this time! I won't 'ave Dru go through that again; you remember what she was like."

"Spike, I can't."

"You can, and you bloody well will. She nearly died the last time he left us. Wailing and screaming about sparks an' all that soddin' rot all bloody hours of the day. Havin' to stop 'er from walkin' out into the sun twice a fucking week! I won't lose her, but I won't do it alone! I love her, more than anything, but I'll lose my bloody mind if I have to go through that alone. You will stay, Darla, you will not break this family apart more than it already is."

"I'm just so tired, William. Why didn't he love us enough to stay? Why didn't he love me enough?"

"Shh, hush, pet. Angelus loves you, I know he does. I've seen it, seen how he cared for you, even when you were gnawing at each other's throats. I don't know why he left, you won't tell me, an' I won't keep pressin', for now. But look, luv, look at me. If you leave us now, you'll never come back, I know it. 'M not stupid. I know that 'Gelus was the only reason you ever left the Master's side; weren't me an' Dru, that's for certain."

"Spike…"

"No, don't. I'm not mad over that. Just don't leave us. Not now, so soon after we've lost him again. She won't recover this time if you do. I know she won't. 'S bad enough she's lost the one thing I can't ever be for her, if she lost you, too...I'm not strong enough to save 'er from herself on my own. So please, if you ever cared for us, stay, just a little bit longer, at least until Dru can handle it."

"Alright, William. I'll stay, for now."

"Tha's all I'm askin', Darla."

~~~~

All Things Spike: @leatafanfiction @captain-peroxid3

Other: @countblucas (for the sparla)

[confusedguytoo]

Tara is allows to feel all those things, it's true. But Tara is not just trying to set her own boundaries. She's trying to set Willow's boundaries to. And if she's that concerned with her memory then how can she ever go back to her? Oh, Willow's doing so well on the no magic front? How do you know she hasn't gotten better at manipulating your memories?

I'm going to be honest here. To me, season 6 showed Willow and Tara actually aren't compatible. But I'm a shipper AND I hate nearly EVERYTHING about season 6, so I don't accept it. The same way Bangel shippers don't care about Angelus standing in the way of Buffy and Angel.

Theoretically I agree with you about people being their memories and all that, but I can't in the Buffyverse. Not with Dawn being around, not with Buffy being willing to die for her being painted as a heroic sacrifice. If people are their memories then the Scoobies have been brainwashed, with Buffy the most thoroughly done since she has 14 years worth of changed memories vs 4 years to around 6 months. But that didn't matter. Threatening her friends for her, dying for her. That's a good thing.

And every time I talk about this people talk about necessity or not Dawn's fault, etc. But that doesn't change the reality of the situation.

So, if I'm gonna look at the situation with Dawn as not important, I'm not going to be able to look at memory alteration as a super big deal throughout the rest of the show.

Hell, later on on Angel they only treated memory alteration that led to them basically selling their souls as a bit of a warning sign. This makes it feel like Willow was judged through a special lens, which doesn't seem fair. Of course it was a year and a half later and season 6 was generally regarded as a bad move so maybe that was it.

Of course it doesn't help that I found Buffy's Heaven to be totally unpleasant. Apparently the key to peace is lying to you(her friends were not safe), and stealing your drive. Heaven felt like what Jasmine did to people in Angel season 4. And frankly if I was in the Buffyverse I'd have preferred being like Phantom Dennis than going to Buffy's heaven.

Every time season 6 tried to tug at my heart strings they utterly failed and I frequently ended up feeling disgusted by someone I was supposed to sympathize with

actually being serious for a second I do think it's a crying shame that pretty much the entirety of I was made to love you gets overshadowed by like the last minute of the episode. like dear lord do I get why but at the same time there's actually soooo much interesting character stuff going on in that episode especially with what it reveals about the ways the different characters see relationships. thinking very hard in particular about willow sympathising with warren and sort of tacitly agreeing with him that being with "a person you made up" must be easier than being with a real person, and how that connects with the way she starts using magic to try and manipulate people to her liking in the next season. thinking and contemplating

[buffster]

New Moon Rising (BTVS 4.19)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

It’s interesting to re-watch New Moon Rising, because the first time I saw it I was dreading it. At the time I hadn’t taken to Tara at all and did not want Willow to choose her and hurt Oz (I was already spoiled that she did). Who knew Willow and Tara would go on to become such an iconic couple from Buffy, right up there with Buffy and Angel? In the following season I grew to love Tara and the Willow/Oz relationship became a distant memory. 

I don’t entirely blame myself for these feelings, though. Tara wasn’t really much of a character at this point. Her main personality trait seemed to be shy. We knew Oz was stoic but internally a big thinker, quirky, and liked music, which is much more than we got on Tara. She seemed to exist solely to be Willow’s girlfriend for the fourth and even much of the fifth season (anyone else thinking of that out-of-nowhere Tara thinks she’s a demon plot?). 

I have to really admire the respect Tara gives Willow during this whole scenario, though. She doesn’t get possessive, she gives Willow the time and space to make a clear choice, and just overall conducts herself with dignity. It’s behavior worth aspiring to. Especially since we don’t get even a moment of Tara feeling conflicted when Oz is in trouble. She does the right thing with the full expectation that she’s pushing Oz right in to Willow’s arms. Eventually they would decide Tara is a remarkably mature and level-headed person, but at this point I think they just used her as a plot device. Another note on the relationship: Tara knows the whole Oz story already, which contrasts with Buffy and Riley when it comes to Angel. 

Riley: Gotta say. I'm surprised. I didn't think Willow was that kind of girl.

Buffy: What kind of girl?

Riley: Into dangerous guys. She seems smarter than that.

Buffy: Oz is not dangerous. Something happened to him that wasn't his fault. God, I never knew you were such a bigot.

Riley: Whoah! How did we get to bigot? I'm just saying it's a little weird to date anyone that tries to eat you  once a month.

Buffy: Love isn't logical, Rye. People can't just be Joe Sensible about it. God knows I haven't been.

Oz’s return brings up an issue for Buffy and Riley: they have very different attitudes about supernatural creatures. I’d argue we could also have examined the fact that Buffy has told Riley nothing about Angel. It’s an early sign that she just hasn’t let him in. As I said, Tara knows all about Oz, and Riley and Buffy’s relationship has been developed over the season as much (if not more so) as Tara and Willow’s. I think Angel is to blame for this one. It looked like she was learning to fully rely on Angel as her partner, but when she had to kill him that cemented her role as slayer in her mind and therefore other. It’s hard to entirely blame her for distancing herself and treating her relationships as sort of a side item; after all, what if Riley gets possessed and she has to kill him? Or some other shenanigans? The circumstances won’t matter because slayer comes first. Buffy dealt with having to kill Angel, but I think she dealt with it by hardening her heart to ever being that vulnerable again. I’m not saying this isn’t an issue she could overcome, but it is an issue and we see her fall into these habits even more in the fifth season. 

Before I go full meta essay on Buffy’s romantic relationships (let’s save that for after both shows) let’s get back to Riley’s bigotry. He has to make a clear choice this episode between Buffy’s ideologies and the Initiative’s and he chooses Buffy’s. But I think it would be more accurate to say he chose Buffy over the Initiative. He’s able to return to them later and I doubt they’ve changed their attitudes that much. 

Buffy: Is that regulation or something? You have to do those every single morning?

Riley: No. I do them because it's a good way to start the day.

Buffy: Right. And then you have your perfectly balanced breakfast and call your mother.

It’s funny to hear Buffy react like this because it almost sounds like something Faith would say to Buffy. Hmm. I could have a theory that Riley was a really good match for pre-slayer Buffy and that was a big part of her attraction to him. Ultimately, the black-and-white worldview was broken for Buffy and she was forced to see the grey. Unlike Buffy, Riley actually gets the choice. We can’t say for sure, but I feel like after leaving Buffy he eventually goes back to his old ways. 

Willow and Oz finally get to talk. Willow says that Oz has done all these amazing things while she has just been in Sunnydale, but the truth is she is the one who has changed while he hasn’t. He got her a sari and kept her in his mind like a goal to get back to, but Willow had no idea if he was ever coming back and moved on with her life. Oz really needs to work on more communication in his future relationships.  

It was a little convenient that the Initiative showed up to save Tara from werewolf Oz. And then they just let Tara walk off like it’s no big deal? What happened to the undercover concept? Apparently that was just a plot device to play up the drama of Buffy and Riley learning each other’s identities. 

We get a look at the darker concepts of the Initiative when they torture Oz, but once again see that it’s the personal that drives Riley, not the principal. He’s all for killing the werewolf until he realizes he knows Oz and has a connection to Buffy. 

Graham: This can't end well, man.

Riley: You gonna start killing people?

Forrest: I'm thinking just one.

Riley: You and me trained together from day one, Forrest. But I always outranked you. Come after me, you're gonna find out why. 

Riley pulling out some BDE. Buffy and Riley end the episode hiding out together, and she finally decides to tell him about Angel. Convenient, given we’re going to see him next episode. 

Oz: But I couldn't look at you. It turns out the one thing that brings it on, is you. Which falls under the heading of ironic in my book.

I’d forgotten that it’s really Oz who decides to walk away, rather than Willow rejecting him. I think she always would have chosen Tara but couldn’t bear to hurt Oz. I don’t know; the vibe just seemed more regretful than torn throughout the episode. 

Willow goes to Tara and has sexy times right after, too, so that lends credence to the not-really-torn idea. 

Character Notes:

Willow Rosenberg: She considers herself a dog person, but she loves cats too.

Adam: Parts of him were a boy scout...yikes. He’s recruited Spike to his cause.

Buffy Summers: She makes a reference to William Burroughs. She plays dumb sometimes but is incredibly knowledgeable with her references. 

[kyliafanfiction-archive]

As far as how messed up Buffyverse characters may be, honestly I can't help but sympathize with most of them, barring maybe two or three exceptions. That's one of the reasons I like "Iron Coin", Hotpoint's "Wesley's Mulligan", and even "Exit Strategy" to an extent. In hindsight, it's amazing how easily some of their worst problems could have been turned into non issues. That's not to say it would all be rainbows and unicorns, but some issues could definitely been handled better.

That’s the beauty of it. You can love them and sympathize with them and realize holy fuck they’re really fucked up. I mean, I would do anything for Amy Madison but holy fuck does she have more issues than a long-running magazine.

[afteriwake]

🍉🍓🍒🍍🥝🍐🍈🫐 That should be enough to give you something to chew on. :)

🍉 Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why? I love writing both, but I think I prefer short fics/one-shots in a series. It's just more fun building a universe with little snippets here and there.

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated? A lot of my CSIverse stuff that's not about CSI: NY. Back in its heyday, I was a pretty popular Buffyverse author, a prolific and respected Sherlock writer, I got a lot of love when I was into Bleach, and while I don't write as much Wholock anymore it got a decent amount of hits and stuff. But my CSI and CSI: Miami stuff was usually overlooked? IDRK, I've been writing fanfic for nearly 25 years, I could be forgetting the love I got in those fandoms.

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!) Idiots to lovers.

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…) I keep meaning to write Elementary stuff, but the show was so damn perfect as it was that I can only write missing scene stuff. Sherlock and Joan are just so fascinating, as are Gregson and Bell, but I just can't figure out what to write for them.

🥝 What’s your favorite trope/AO3 tag to write? Trope? Fake dating. AO3 tag? -INSERT CHARACTER- Needs A Hug

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc… Okay. I am not bashing Sherlock here, not really, but after ending season 3/getting utterly and completely spoiled for season 4, you see the show has a fuckton of flaws making it ripe for fix-it fics. First and foremost there's the travesty of Mary's death, then there's the missing Reichenbach stuff, there's Irene being rescued and conflicting ideas by cast and writers as to what happened then, the mystery surrounding just why Molly was in a bad mood for the phone call, Sally's disappearance for most of S3/all of S4 (we know in real life it was scheduling conflicts, but they never explained it in the show), and Eurus...just Eurus. So it's like, you can pick any point in this show and use that as a starting point for fix-it/missing scene fic that's better than canon. But yeah. That's why I have thousands of Sherlock fic and very few Elementary fic by comparison.

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions. My blorbo has to be Molly Hooper. I write her in so much, with characters from four other mediums as well as multiple male AND female characters in her fandom. I am a strong supporter of the "Molly Hooper is bi" sentiment, that she knows self defence, that she and Sally are friends (if not dating), that she has more money than Sherlock, and that she wants a child at some point (preferably before she's too old to enjoy parenthood).

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.) In my primary fandom (Sherlock)? There isn't enough crossover stuff. Don't care what it's crossed over with, it's ripe for crossovers.

fruit emoji ask game for fic writers

[confusedguytoo]

your definition of power hunger makes it to easy to decide that self-improvement is power hunger. That's a common problem I see with "power corrupts" type stories

Your stance on power and control going hand in hand is actually a part of the problem I think people have with Willow's story arc. That since power and control go hand in hand, Willow's story arc about gaining power must have something to do with control too.

But I'm not so sure. Slayers had power. But how much control did Nikki Wood, Kendra or Faith actually have? How hard did Buffy have to work to maintain the control she had?

Angel's son Connor had power and was a pawn his entire life

Catherine Madison had power and was a divorced hairdresser, the only way she could get control was stealing her daughter's body and going back to high school

Vengeance demons have power but no control of the power due to it being tied to the Wish and their boss can end their lives on a whim

The comics dark future Willow is like the only source of magic for a couple centuries but doesn't do anything with the power

Now, I'm not saying they can't go together, but I think in the Buffyverse you kind of need to actually try to TAKE that control. And I think that's something WIllow only rarely does

As to Oz, I actually made a post about that recently, link and quoted text below

You know that scene where Willow tries to talk to Oz after “the fluke” and he brushes her off and tells her she’s just trying to make herself feel better? Lot’s of people love that scene.

I hate it.

Oz, if you care about someone their feelings are ALWAYS your problem. When you can just not care about how the feel, the relationship may as well be done.

And as to Willow. That’s not her trying to feel like a good person, that’s her trying to BE a good person.

Folks, think about who Willow is as a person and the times of the show.

Like, Willow is an intellectual, and the daughter of at least one intellectual. Although she’s not close with her mother, in the next season she echoes her views enough that Buffy responds to comments that Willow makes by saying Willow is channeling her mother about Thanksgiving.

During season 3 Willow will try to moderate an intervention for Buffy and complained about people not using I statements

Plus this is the 90s. The era of the huge rise of therapy and it wasn’t just professionals. Do schools still have peer mediation? If they don’t that’s where a school to two people who were fighting and sit them down and make them discuss why it happened and how to avoid it happening in the future.

My point being there is no way Willow wasn’t raised to believe that talking things out is the right thing to do. And if Oz said he needed space? So what? People can want things that are wrong. Willow’s life experiences have a tendency to feature people telling her that in fact

End quoted text.

So, it is possible Oz is just wrong. I mean, it's not the only time I think he was about Willow. I think Willow was ready to actually sleep with him much earlier than he thought and would have done so with no regrets

a moment in btvs that a lot of people love but that i absolutely despise is tara 'sticking up for' willow against anya in "older and far away". firstly because it feeds into the narrative pushed by the latter half of s6 that willow is a victim of magic addiction who needs to be coddled and woobified, as opposed to who she actually is as demonstrated by the rest of the show, namely someone who has consistently displayed that she both desires an unprecedented level of control over her environment and feels entitled to that control, to the point of mind-wiping and abusing her girlfriend & friends. and secondly because. i'm sorry. if i am stuck in a house with you and we are going to get killed by a demon but you could easily stop that from happening by relapsing into your addiction and yet you refuse to do so out of some misguided sense of principle even though you and i will both literally die if you don't. you are the bad guy in that situation

[thedeadflag]

When is someone too far gone? Like Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, or Morgana in Merlin, or Lex Luthor in Smallville. Where's the point of no return for a villain? Or do you think things are like in Joss Whedon's works? Alpha redeems himself in Dollhouse, Faith and Spike and Angel and Giles in the Buffyverse. No one is so far gone that they can't return.

I think it depends on what they do, and why they do it. I’d wager most villains aren’t too far gone, and that they can potentially atone, even if they also need to accept that they’re not entitled to forgiveness, and that what they did will always be a part of them even if they change for the better. 

Most villains are human in that they truly think they’re doing what they do for the right reasons. Some cartoonish ones, one-dimensional ones, yeah they probably couldn’t be redeemed, but that’s largely by design (Sauron, for instance), since those tend to be living symbols more than anything nuanced.

[girl4music]

BUFFY REWATCH - S06E16 - Hell’s Bells

XANDER: (voice over:) “If you were so unhappy, why didn't you just leave?”

ANYA: (voice over:) “I wanted to. I should have!”

*Pan over to a small table against a wall. Xander and Anya sit there, facing each other across the table. He is in a tux and still the same age. Anya is much older*

XANDER: “Yeah, you should have. 'Cause then maybe I would have gotten some touch in the past twenty years.”

ANYA: “I wasn't the one who stopped touching!”

XANDER: “Oh! Maybe, but you weren't touching me!”

*He jumps up angrily, begins to pace*

ANYA: “What did you expect me to do? You wouldn't come near me after Buffy-”

XANDER:

*Shouts*

“Don't bring her into this!”

ANYA: “Fine. Forget her. Maybe you were just born to be a bitter, angry old man.”

XANDER:

*Quietly, very angry*

“Shut up.”

ANYA: “No!

*Tearfully*

I want my life back! If I hadn't married you I wouldn't have had to hate myself for the last THIRTY YEARS!”

*Xander grabs a frying pan off the stove and lunges toward Anya, screaming*

XANDER: “SHUT UP!”

*As he swings the frying pan toward her face, we flash back to the present. The purple light clears away from Xander's face. Shot of the orb in the old man's hands. The light goes back into it and it stops glowing. Xander is panting, looks shocked*

OLD MAN: “I'm so sorry. I didn't want to show you.”

XANDER: “What happened? What was that?”

OLD MAN: “A glimpse of your future. Harnessed... by magic.”

XANDER: “Is she okay?

*Panicky*

Is she okay, what did I do?!”

OLD MAN: “Listen. I don't have long here. The spell that brought me back, it won't last.

*Xander still looking shell-shocked*

But you can change things. It doesn't have to go like this. But you can't marry Anya.”

XANDER: “But-”

OLD MAN: “You'll hurt her less today than you will later. Believe me. Sometimes, two people... all they bring each other... is pain.”

*Xander stares at him, horrified*

I have said before that the main themes of Season 6 are power corruption, depression and addiction. Buffy and Willow are the main focus of the season and therefore are assigned to these main themes. Buffy to depression and Willow to power corruption and addiction. Another theme in Season 6 is fear and that’s the theme the main character Xander is assigned to. Xander and his theme isn’t a focus for Season 6 but it is a prevalent side story all throughout it’s progression. And given this episode is Xander-centric, that’s what I will be talking about for this episode recap as there isn’t really much else going on in it and I very rarely talk about Xander or Anya as it is.

We learn very little about Xander and his backstory all throughout the show. He has significantly less character representation and development than his female counterparts despite also being of the core four. I believe this is partly the reason why much of the Buffyverse fandom dislikes him. Because his character arc, compared to Buffy and Willow, isn’t very well written and fleshed out. Thus, much of what we see of Xander’s characterization in the show is mostly just him being the comedic relief. For whatever reason that is lost on me for the most part, the writers decided that the dialogue comedy this character should provide is humour steeped in toxic masculinity. It is really only in this episode and ‘Restless’ that we find out the reason why Xander is the way he is as a character. Why he makes such inappropriate sexist and sometimes even misogynistic comments every now and again that really just puts him in a negative light as a character in the fandom. The reason why is because he has grew up in a very abusive household. Now while I understand that the abuse a person observes and experiences themselves from when they’re too young to understand that it’s not personally about them why they’re treated so abusively shouldn’t be an excuse for them being a dick, and that they have all the agency to be better than the people that have inflicted that abuse on them… I also understand that hurt people hurt people and how hard it is not to reflect and project the same behaviour that they’ve observed and experienced on to others. And the reason why I defend Xander’s character from the fandom that love to hate on and slander him to all hell is because he is never abusive. That really is remarkable considering all he has ever really known from the people he has known the longest is abuse. Abuse: emotionally, mentally, and possibly even physically is what Xander goes through and has gone through all throughout his life living with his parents. Xander is not anything like his father despite how much this episode shows us that he chronically fears he will be if he marries Anya.

When that old man, pretending to be Xander from the future, shows him his nightmare version of his potential married life with Anya… the first thing he thinks to do is to disappear. To get as far away from that wedding as possible. Now the relevant question is not to ask why he disappears because we already know why as he tells Anya when he returns. He believes it could be the truth. That if he marries Anya there is, to him, a very likely chance he could end up an abusive husband to her and that he could end up physically striking her the way it was depicted in the false vision of his future. Out of pure anger and hatred. No, the relevant question to ask is why his instinctive reaction is to disappear. Why is the first thing he thinks to do to run away like a scared little boy and not confront Anya and talk to her about it or to communicate with anyone at all about it? The answer is in the reason he disappears whenever he observes and experiences his parents being abusive to each other. Because he simply cannot face up to his fears, cannot communicate them to anyone, and instinctively avoids thinking about them himself. That’s the reason he doesn’t say anything to Anya or anyone in this episode, at any point when planning the wedding or even before announcing the engagement. See, it’s not just that he has fears. He has trained himself to ignore them, to distract himself from them, and to discard them. His instinct is to run away, to disappear, to hide not from just the reality of what’s happening to him, but also from the mentality of it. Because that’s what he has always done when afraid. It is routine for him. And while it has never worked to resolve anything for him, it has provided for him respite from the responsibility to resolve it. To procrastinate. He obviously knows what he should do, but he doesn’t do it because fear is too hard to face. And in this episode when this truth hits him… when he realizes that his instinct is always to run away from what scares him and from what upsets him, he turns back because he knows then that he can’t run away anymore, and that he has to face Anya and his sham of a proposal and admit to her that he was never ready to marry her in the first place. He does that because his love and respect for her is stronger than his fear. He calls it off because he wasn’t ready, not because he didn’t still want to be with her. He loves her. And he loves her enough to confront her and tell her the truth when he has actively avoided doing so the whole time.

If it wasn’t for those false visions, if it wasn’t for his instinctive reaction, he would have gone through with it. He would have married Anya. But that wasn’t the right thing to do given the way he felt and he knew that. And he also knew that it wasn’t fair to Anya to keep those feelings from her. So he called it off and left her at the altar because that was the only option left since he never had the courage to call it off earlier. But he knew he couldn’t lie to her even more and go through with it only to regret doing so afterwards. That would be much more cruel than leaving her now.

Was he in the wrong? Only in the sense that he never made it clear what he really wanted when it really mattered. When it wouldn’t have being so devastating to call it off. But he was in the right to call it off at all. And Anya - being Anya - took it as he didn’t want to get married because he didn’t want to be with her. In the next episode; ‘Entropy’, Xander tried to explain all this to Anya but she wouldn’t listen. And I’m not saying Anya didn’t have the right to shut Xander out. I’m just saying her not listening and being passive-aggressive when he was trying to explain didn’t help.

ANYA:

*Firmly*

“Do you still want to get married?”

*Close on Xander's face. He hesitates, looks unsure. Anya looks upset. Very quietly*

“Oh.”

XANDER: “Ahn, it's a very complicated question.”

ANYA:

*Getting teary*

“No, actually, it's really not. It's kind of an either-or deal. Do you want to get married?”

XANDER: “Someday, yes, very much. When we're ready.

*Anya looking very hurt*

I don't want you to take this as a bad thing. It's good.

*Anya looking resigned, annoyed*

I love you, I love you so much, I'm just trying to be honest with you.”

ANYA:

*Angry*

“Yes, honesty *now*. Congratulations, Xander, on being honest now. I wonder what the medal will say.”

XANDER:

*Confused*

“Okay, clearly I'm not handling this well.”

ANYA:

*Yelling*

“Well, duh!”

Ultimately no one was in the wrong for the way they reacted because they only reacted by way of their nature. Xander’s nature was rooted in fear. So you could argue his theme for the whole show is fear and all the complicated layers that come with feeling fear. What is ironic about Xander and Anya is the fact that they’re the most communicative couple in the whole show (yes, they are) and yet the reason why their relationship is destroyed is because they “never tell”.