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pullupinarari · 5 months ago

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Lean your weight on me [LH]

9. Your heart only knows me

Summary: a 9 chapter series where you are a famous singer, living the career of your dreams. But your chaotic schedule makes your body give in, making you lose your memory and forget (almost) everything.

Author's note: I can't believe that we have reached the end of this series. This story was a rollercoaster of emotions, and it was such a crazy experience to share such a personal story with all of you. I really want to thank you girls for all the love and support that you have show me in every chapter. This was my first series here in this blog and I can't wait to write more stories for you!! Here's to many more 🥂🩷

wc: 5640 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

all chapters here

One month has passed since the last time you saw Lewis. To be exact, it’s been 30 days, 13 hours, 42 minutes and 28 seconds, since the last time you looked him in the eyes.

You gained the courage to leave your parents house as well, after two weeks of being there with them - you needed to have your independence back, you needed to figure out life by yourself, without having someone always by your side.

Lately, you’ve been pretending to be tough, like you can take all that happened like it’s nothing, like you haven’t cried yourself to sleep every single night for the past month. But if you are being honest, you absolutely hate the way you feel lately. This whole situation between you and Lewis made you realize how hard you are to love. You have walls up that nobody seems to see, until they try to get closer to you, and you just push everyone away.

You don’t want to waste more time with ‘love’, though. You finally finished your upcoming album, with some of the most personal and heartbreaking songs that you’ve ever written, and your career is what’s making you feel alive again. You wake up every day with adrenaline running through your veins, excited to go to the studio, to have meetings with your team, to discuss what the next step is going to be.

Your album will complement the documentary, so your manager decided that it would be a good plan to release both things on the same day. And then you thought: why not come up with a one night only concert, an intimate show where you would play all the new songs and talk to your fans about your comeback?

The truth is, you can’t wait to be back on stage. You often dream about it, and the thought of being surrounded by millions of people who love you and support you, makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. Your entire family will be there, all your friends will be by your side at your first concert after the accident. But, as you’re planning everything, you can’t help but feel like something is missing. The most important piece of the puzzle is missing.

You know what it is, you know exactly what you want to do, but you struggle to understand if this is the right thing to do. After thinking about it for a couple of hours, you decide to pick up your phone. Your hands are shaking as you find his contact, tapping the screen, opening your conversation with him - the amount of messages that you never answered back, makes you rethink this decision. You don't want to make it seem like he’s a joke to you, you don’t want him to think that you are playing games with him again. But he holds such an important part in your life, especially when you lost your memory, and you just want him to be there, you want to find him in the crowd, you want him to be part of this.

Your fingers move on their own now as you click the buttons, facetiming him. Your heart beats faster as you wait for him to pick up - but still, ready to see him decline your call. So you can’t help but show a surprised, yet relieved expression on camera, when you see him.

Your heart could burst just at the image of him on your screen, noticing that he is in the gym, but still looking as lovely as ever, the soft eyes and gentle facial expressions being so characteristic of Lewis.

“Hello?” - he questions with a surprised tone, panting while he grabs a towel to clean all the sweat from his face.

“Hi, Lewis” - you quietly say, feeling so small all of the sudden, even if he is just looking at you through your phone.

You want to know how he has been doing lately - hoping that he has been doing way better than you. You want to catch up, to tell him everything about your days, to hear all about him, but you have to remind yourself that you’re not part of each other’s lives anymore like that.

He lets you know that he’s currently in Spain, preparing himself for his next race in the upcoming weekend, and you enjoy the way you two seem to speak like there’s no hate between you two, even if you can tell that you two are still hurt, trying to recover from what happened.

Your words are careful, mirroring his, speaking in a very calm tone, keeping it light. He’s still confused why you called him, and that’s when you decide to bring the topic up.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about this for a minute, and I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but I’m going to give a one time concert to release my new project, and all my friends and family are going to be there, so-” - your breathing interrupts you, seeing how Lewis looks at you so attentively through the camera.

“I- I just wanted to have you there, to be honest. You were always such an important piece in all this, in my life - I can’t forget that. And I totally understand if you don’t want to be there, or even if you don’t want to see me ever again, and I’ll make sure I’ll stop bothering you… But I would really love to have you there” - you finally say, after tripping on some words, breathing heavily as your heart feels anxious now, waiting for some sort of reaction from him.

He lifts his eyebrows, as if to note your rushed state, making you smile softly. “I’ll be there” - it’s all he says, attaching a gentle smile to his words.

And after a heartfelt ‘thank you’, followed by a relieved sigh, you hung up the call. You feel as if a wave of lightness has washed over you - and you can’t help but smile wide at the thought of seeing Lewis again.

Two weeks passed by fast, making it seem like it was just a matter of seconds until it’s finally show day. You woke up feeling nervous, electric already, rushing to get all the tiny details right, wanting everything to be perfect for your comeback. And when you’re backstage, warming up and getting ready to perform, your friends show up, to hug you, to wish you good luck and let you know how proud they are of you.

“There’s someone very special outside” - Grace lets you know, with a smirk and a wink on her face.

You show her a confused expression back. “Who?” - who could be outside, waiting to see you? You quickly think about everyone that you invited, and you weren’t expecting anyone else to see you backstage.

“Someone who is very nervous, trying to gain the courage to come see you” - she says as she hugs you, getting ready to leave.

“Tell that person to come inside, then?” - you say, half asking her, your curiosity growing inside of you now, wondering who it might be.

Some minutes later, you hear the door closing, and you try to peek and see who came inside. A gasp leaves your mouth when you see Lewis, with a beautiful shade of pink covering his features, as he slowly walks inside your dressing room.

He is holding a bouquet of white tulips, your favorite flowers.

“You look beautiful” - he admits, admiring your figure, seeing you dressed in a simple, yet beautiful white dress. He can’t help but close his eyes for a second, his mind reminding him how beautiful you looked in your wedding dress - the similarities killing him a bit more now.

“Thank you, Lew” - you reply as you accept the flowers. A smile forms, from ear to ear, and you share a lovely look with him - one of adoration, of mutual respect with each other.

You can’t stop using the pet name on him, it’s stronger than you. You can’t just randomly throw away eight years of your lives that you’ve spent together, some things will never change and you think this is one of them.

He stays silent for a minute, like he is struggling to find the right words.

“Well, I just wanted to wish you good luck on stage, I know you will nail it - you always do. And I just want you to know that I wish you all the best in this world” - he says with a smile, before trying to leave the room.

You stop him, your hand grabbing his arm - the first time you’ve touched him in so long.

“Wait” - you plead. “I want to talk to you about something” - and the way he comes back so gently, melting as soon as he feels your touch, is enough to make your heart swell.

You see a glimpse of light appearing in his eyes. For the past few months, Lewis has been an emotional wreck, trying his best to get back on his feet, but it feels impossible for him to move on from you - the biggest disappointment and loss he ever had to deal with. There’s not a day where he doesn’t think about you, he spends hours going through old photos of you two, watching how you grew together through all these years. And tears roll down his cheeks, as he realizes that he’s still trying to act like what you had was still alive.

He’s trying to let you go, he really is - and you can feel it, by the way he’s so cold and distant, like he’s afraid to touch you, scared of falling in your trap all over again. As much as he hates to admit it, his heart doesn’t feel a thing anymore, like your actions were enough to freeze his feelings.

He knows he has a lot of things to take care of in his life - and he still thinks about the house beach. That house is not a home. You were the reason why he bought it in the first place, and now he can’t even go there, because the memories are just too painful. But still, he doesn’t regret a single thing he did. He doesn’t regret the day he met you, he doesn’t want to forget the time you two spent together - he doesn’t want to bury the happiest memories he has.

“Do you remember that song that you helped me play on the piano?” - you ask, watching how he just nods his head at your words. “I wanted to ask you if you would like to play it for me, on stage” - your words leave your mouth before you can process them. You’ve been thinking about this for a while, but maybe you should’ve thought about a better way to ask him.

“Me, playing the piano for you on stage?” - he repeats your words, sounding uncertain in his tongue.

You nod. “Lewis, you were such an important person in my life through all this, during so many years. Damn, you still are” - you confess, some tears threatening to show up now. “I don’t want us to end on bad terms, even after all the shit I’ve put you through. I care about you so much, and there’s no one else that I would love to share this moment with” - you open your heart to him, seeing how he softens a bit, his body relaxing, noticing how tense he was before.

“It would be an honor to be on stage with you” - he simply says, smiling at you before you two share a hug. It feels good to be in his arms again, to feel his touch, to have his scent lingering in your dress even after he left. And this made you realize that maybe, you don’t want to go. You don’t want Lewis to let you go. But now, you can’t believe that he might still love you after all you’ve done. You don’t believe that he still wants you, after all the heartbreaks that you’ve caused him, after all the rough days.

You really are the hardest to love, feeling like such a mess, a walking problem, a liability for everyone who tries to come closer. So maybe this is for the best.

Looking at the flowers he brought you, you see there’s a note attached to the bouquet.

“The stars, the signs and all the constellations could get all tangled up: if you lose yourself, it is never too late to find yourself again. You’re stronger than what surrounds you. Genuinely so proud of you - Lewis”

You have to take deep breaths to prevent yourself from crying like a baby, now. Letting go is always the hardest part, there’s not an easy way to deal with this. You know you’re suffering now because you want to, you are alone because you chose to.

But you can’t stop yourself from thinking about the past and the future. If you were going to keep holding Lewis back, at least you would hold him close, so you could feel his warmth again, so he could make you feel special again - like only he knows how to do. But your heart knows that things will never be the same, what you had can never be replaced, no one will ever make you feel as loved as Lewis did.

But you don’t even think about falling in love again, now - you keep telling yourself that you don’t need it. You want to be on stage, pour your heart out through your music, connect with your fans and share such an important moment with the people who mean the most to you.

You weren’t ready for the bundle of nerves and anxiety that rushed through your body as you went on stage. All the lights, the screams, the noise, made some flashbacks appear in your mind. You shake a little bit, getting ready to start singing, to interact with the audience, even if you can’t believe this is real yet. You feel yourself starting to dissociate a little bit for some moments, trying to stay as calm as possible, while getting back to what used to be your favorite thing to do.

After the first song, your body relaxes, seeing how it feels so easy for you to do this. And you love that you have the time to explain the meaning of each song to your fans, being so rawly honest with them about everything.

“I have a very special guest tonight” - you start speaking towards the end of your show. You saved your moment with Lewis for the end, being the last song on your setlist, because you honestly don’t know how you’re going to react to all this, how you’re going to feel after singing those words while having him by your side.

You and Lewis decided not to publicly speak about your divorce, and technically you two are still married - neither of you has filed the papers yet, probably because none of you can accept the end of it.

“Give it up for the one and only, Lewis Hamilton, everybody!” - you say to the crowd, clapping yourself as well when you see Lewis showing up, sitting down at the piano. You look at him for maybe a second too long, realizing how weird it sounds to introduce him by his name, not by calling him “your husband” - the way you used to always refer to him before.

He notices you staring at him, and he gives you a thumbs up and a smile, letting you know that he is ready to start playing whenever you feel like it.

“I just want to say a few words before we play this song, please” - you let him know. Turning to the audience, you take a deep breath before opening your heart to everyone who’s present.

“Lewis helped me come up with the melody to this song, when I was still struggling to get the notes right on the piano, some time ago” - you begin to explain. “This song hurts like a bitch, to be honest” - you try to play it cool, laughing a bit between your words. “This one is about not feeling good enough for your partner, feeling like you are the one holding them back. It’s about being so confused, lost, hurt, that you don’t want to drag them to the mud with you. And it’s about the pain you feel when you realize that you have to let them go, for their own good - even if you don’t want to let them go” - your eyes are already glossy with tears. “But it’s also about a love that is so, so strong, that will never end” - you say, turning to Lewis to see how his head is hanging low now.

“And this man right here, is the reason why I managed to pull through every bad day, not just for the past months, but for the past eight years of my life. I could never forget how you lit up my world when everything around me was dark and cold, how you were always everything that I needed. I was so lucky to have the opportunity to share my life with you, Lew” - you walk to him, seeing how he slowly nods his head, letting your words hit him right in the heart, trying to hold back his tears now.

You take a seat beside him at the piano, sensing how the atmosphere feels so heavy around you two, looking each other in the eyes - sharing thoughts and feelings without saying a word. You nod at him, letting him know that you’re ready to play the song.

You never thought it would be so hard. Sitting beside the love of your life, singing the most hurtful thoughts that have ever crossed your mind when it comes to him - referencing how life was getting so hard for you while you were next to him, how he couldn’t save you from this moment, how you had to leave him.

Your face is covered in tears, letting your feelings show as you look at Lewis - him never looking back at you, focusing on the notes of the song, trying not to fuck everything up: this is your moment, after all.

When the song ends, you see some tears escaping Lewis’ eyes as well, and you can’t help but hug him tightly, while you two silently cry in each other’s arms. He is the one separating his body from yours, cleaning the tears from his face before kissing your forehead for one last time, before leaving you alone on stage.

You can’t stop the feelings from erupting in your heart, the thoughts from invading your head. After playing the last song of the night, you thank the crowd, before coming back to your dressing room. Everyone wants to see you, to congratulate you, to let you know how amazing you were, how successful the show was. But you just want to be alone for a minute, so you beg your team, your friends and family to let you have some moments to yourself: you need to let all that just happened sink in.

You take your shoes off, you undo your dress, putting some comfortable clothes back on, as you have a silent conversation with yourself. You stop and try to analyze everything that happened tonight: of course you had fun, of course you felt special and it was nice to feel all the love and support from your fans. But looking back, this was your life 24/7. You were touring the world, performing every single night, doing this without stopping. And now you understand that you don’t want to do this forever, you don’t have it in your heart anymore. You don’t want to feel stuck to your career just yet, you want to discover the world by yourself, you want to find yourself a little more, before getting back to work nonstop.

And maybe you need to be far, far away from here, you need to know new people, you need to breathe different airs, you need to see different landscapes, before settling down again.

So, you let your team know that you will be taking a break before coming back to the tour and all your work duties. They weren’t happy about your decision and your manager tried to convince you not to do it: you already were on break while recovering, you can’t stop now after releasing the album, you need to promote these projects, and he kept finding reasons for you to be back to work. But you made your decision, you need to be selfish once again, you need to live your life. You spent the last few months afraid of what could happen each day, and now it’s time for you to explore your surroundings, and what you hold inside of you. You can’t be scared to live anymore.

After that night, you packed your bags and bought a plane ticket to Greece. You love Greece, and it was one of your favorite places to go on vacation with Lewis - you decided to start your break there, hoping the good memories would help you say goodbye to him, letting go of all the feelings you still hold about him.

Being alone on vacation really is a powerful way to get to know you better, to learn how to enjoy your own company more. And everyday, you wake up feeling refreshed, learning how to hug yourself when you need the most, being your own comfort and shelter. You spent 5 days in Greece, and at the end of every day, you would cry while watching the sunset: there’s a reason why they say it’s the most beautiful sunset in the world. The aura and the energy surrounding those minutes where the sun would say goodbye to you, painting the sky and the ocean in front of you in orange and pink tones, was enough to make all the thoughts come back to you.

You never tried to hold back the tears from falling, feeling like you really need this. You need to let go of all the emotions that you repressed for so long - you would feel better after letting it all out, eventually. Every shade of pink would remind you of a happy memory with Lewis, you would find yourself looking through his social media, wanting to see if he posted something, how he is doing lately, how he is doing in the championship.

But the point of this break is to let go of him, to find out who you really are when no one is around you. You have been surrounded by people every single day of your life for the past 10 years, at least. Your team, your fans, the crowds, the journalists, your family, your husband. You want to be alone, surrounded by people you don’t know. You want to feel free, you want this feeling of being terrified to leave your body. You can do this. And in the middle of so many countries that are out there, you will be able to reconnect with yourself in some place. You’ve always had a wild soul, the feeling of belonging to the world never left your veins.

After Greece, you land in Egypt, followed by Cape Verde, Morocco, Philippines, India, Colombia, Peru. Four months of traveling by yourself made you collect a list of numbers of new friends you made along the way, people you met while discovering those countries and yourself.

You can’t deny that it’s been fun, and you enjoy yourself everyday, discovering more about each country's traditions, but you still feel like something is missing, and you can’t figure out what it is. Maybe you do feel lonely now, you would like to have some company while traveling, maybe doing this all by yourself isn’t as entertaining as you thought it would be: you are still going home to an empty and cold bed, after all.

You try not to think about him, so you make sure to stay outside until your body is so worn out that you slump on the bed and fall asleep almost immediately every night, leaving you little to no time to think.

But he is still trying to recover from you. The way you decided to leave and go on a break for God knows how long, let’s him know everything that he needed. Your words on the last night you saw each other at your show meant nothing to him, if you just escaped through his fingers once again. Lewis is trying to get back to his old self, he is back in the gym, getting his head back in the game, focusing on his races.

He spends more time with his friends now - something that he stopped doing for a while. They keep him busy and entertained, making sure to help him forget every single thing about you, making sure that their friend isn’t going home to cry on his pillow again. And slowly, but surely, he is feeling a bit more like himself again. He has his sparkle back, even if not entirely, he doesn’t feel as down anymore, he doesn’t feel like rotting in bed, losing days on end feeling sorry for himself. He went back to his morning runs, to playtime with Roscoe, to spend more time with his family as well. He smiles more, he laughs more, without having to force happiness into his body - it escapes naturally now.

He isn’t looking for love now, even if a lot of girls try their luck with him, he always turns them down respectfully. They are not the problem, but you are the reason why he forgot to love, and he just wants to love himself a bit more now - and he holds no grudge against you, he truly prays that you find yourself, but he knows now that you don’t belong next to each other, anymore.

And while he is having a weekend off with his friends, filled with laughter and good moments, you are now in Italy, getting ready to go out to a club. It’s been so long since you went out to dance and have a drink, why not? Italy is a warm country, filled with nice, funny and hot people, so maybe you could get lucky tonight and end your loneliness - secretly wishing that you would find someone who could warm up your sheets a bit more.

You look at yourself in the mirror, feeling beautiful, powerful - reminding yourself why you are the woman that you became today. You are strong, independent. But independent girls need to have some fun, too.

The club is crowded, everybody is dancing and singing to the songs that the DJ is playing. The vibe around you feels good, safe, playful, and excitement runs through your body as you reach the bar to order a drink. You look around, good looking men pass by, making you follow them with your eyes even unconsciously.

You smirk to yourself as your steps reach the dancefloor, moving your body to the rhythm of the music. You start dancing by yourself, but it only takes a few minutes until you get some company. A tall, broad man approaches you, his hands immediately gluing themselves to your waist, as his face comes closer to yours.

“A gorgeous woman like you is dancing alone?” - he speaks in your ear, his lips brushing against your skin, making goosebumps paint your body.

“Not anymore” - you smirk at him, as your bodies start moving in sync.

In the middle of all the dancing and drinking, you find out that his name is Mariano, born and raised in Italy. He doesn’t recognize you from your music, like some people have been doing during your trips - which you are thankful for, you couldn’t care less about his job and you can tell that he really doesn’t care about yours either.

Drink after drink, you feel yourself get a bit tipsy, and the environment around you gets hotter and hotter - probably because the club is getting small for the amount of people inside of it, or maybe because Mariano has his lips all over your neck, kissing and marking your skin like his life depends on it.

You take deep breaths, your breathing getting caught in your throat as you signal to him that you are going outside for a bit. Your back hits a cold wall just outside the club, and you take a sip of your cold drink to help you refresh a bit.

Mariano comes outside just a few seconds later, as well. The man immediately shows you a devilish grin as his hands roam your body again, his mouth kissing your entire face.

You feel brave, and you chose to have some fun tonight, so you gain the courage to capture his lips in a kiss - a heated one, that tells him just how lonely you are, how badly you need someone for the night. And he kisses you back, letting you know that he will be everything you need for the next couple of hours.

But after a few moments of making out with him in the middle of the street, your brain decides that you won’t have any fun with the italian man. His lips don’t move in sync with yours, like Lewis’ did. They don’t hold the passion that you feel for Lewis, they don’t make you feel desired in the same way that Lewis used to do.

During the four months that you’ve been traveling, some guys crossed your path - they were interesting, they were good looking, but they weren’t Lewis. And you always missed the chance to fall for somebody else, because your heart only knows Lewis, you only want Lewis.

You fell apart, but you managed to bring yourself back up, during this time. You feel like the heavy spirit that engulfed your body has left you already, you could almost feel complete again - if you didn’t miss him so much.

You break the kiss. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this” - it’s all you can say before you run to your room, finding the strength inside of you to get back to your safe space again. And once you close the door behind you, you burst into tears, feeling a sharp pain in your chest, a whirlwind of feelings making you burst at the seams.

“Stop being stupid, stop denying” - you say to yourself as your hands tangle in your hair, desperation hitting you harder than before. Your heart belongs to Lewis - it always did, and there’s nothing in this world that you want more than to just lay down beside him. You want to caress his hair, his face, hug his body as he engulfs you in his arms, giving you that sense of protection that is unmatched. You want him next to you, to sing to you, to hear his giggles. Now, everything is just a memory, but you could swear to God that you wouldn’t leave him again, this time.

Every night, you felt closer to him inside your dreams, dreaming nonstop about how adorable your babies would be, how happy your family would be while living in the beach house that you and Lewis had picked so carefully. “The one with the most beautiful view to the sunset, it is” - he would turn the world upside down for you. But now, you don’t even ask for much, you just want to wake up and see him, peacefully asleep beside you, cuddling you, loving you, bringing peace into your life again.

You know this is all your fault, you are the one who broke up with him, you are the one who broke his heart a million times, you destroyed him. And you just want him to be okay now, you want him to be happy - but you are only happy beside him, and you selfishly hope that he can only be happy with you, as well.

Tears keep falling down your face, drenching your features as you regret every single thing you’ve done since the day you lost your damn memory. You want to go home, but Lewis is your home. It doesn’t matter where you are, you could be anywhere in this world right now, nothing feels right when you’re not with him. You never really wanted to leave, in fact, you never wanted to live without him, you just kept pushing, forcing yourself to believe that you could find yourself without the person that is also a huge part of you already.

You would give up everything to be held by him again, the money, the fame, none of that matters to you. You would gladly give up on all of those things, you would even kill to kiss Lewis’ lips again.

You just want to make everything right again. You want to apologize to him, to show him how badly you love him, how close you want to hold him - and never let him go. You will never break his heart again.

And with hope in your heart, you dial his number in your phone. You don’t care that it’s the middle of the night, you need to chase your happiness, your reason to keep going.

After a few rings, Lewis wakes up, looking at his phone with furrowed eyebrows. He rubs his eyes, questioning why you are calling him at 4 am. Either way, he picks up.

“Hello?” - hearing his sleepy voice makes you sob now, hiccuping as you cry into the call.

“Lewis” - you cry out his name, unable to control yourself. He hears your shaky breaths, while you’re trying to speak between sobs - “I want to go home”.

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taglist: @illalwayswaitforyourlove @literallegendicon @scenesofobx @irishmanwhore @forza-charles @felicityforyou

#lean your weight on me series #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton oneshot #lewis hamilton fic #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader

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heybaetae · 2 months ago

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hi friends! 👋🏻

i am here with my little 2024 gif wrapped after being tagged by @jkvjimin, @cordiallyfuturedwight, @yooboobies, @taehyunghobi, @jinstronaut, and @btsjk-biased. i didn't expect so many tags, so i appreciate you all for including me and wanting to see me recollect some of the work i shared this year. i'll do so under the cut and leave comments wherever i see fit.

i've seen a couple different ways people have done this, so i'll do a variation of both. i'll list my favorite vs. most popular set per each month + some honorable mentions that i liked or were particularly proud of. feel free to go show any of the mentioned posts some love just as i plan to do with everyone else's some time after i post this!

JANUARY

my favorite - vmin holding hands ↳ because i'm Me and they are insufferable

most popular - vmin in the car

honorable mentions - jikook clowning in the barracks

my recap stops there as i have nothing to show for november and december (with the exception of the yeontan tribute set and what i'll be posting for tae's birthday) as i stopped giffing at the end of october.

you can take a look back at everything else i made in my archive here :)

i don't know what the new year will hold for me as far as posting content goes, but thank you very much to those who never stopped supporting my work this year and the last four years since i started this blog. i've had a lot of feelings this year about my place as a gifmaker here and i've struggled a bit reckoning with the low engagement despite how much i know my work is loved by those who matter and never fail to let me know. i am working on reminding myself of this and i offer the same sentiment to anyone else experiencing the same feelings. you all deserve 100x more than what you get back.

for now though, my queue is gonna continue posting for me for a while. if i can get myself out of this funk by the time bts comes back, then i hope to provide whatever i can when the time feels right.

i think nearly everyone has been tagged to do this by now, but i’ll tag (unless you’ve already done it, just lmk or ignore me) @jung-koook, @kimtaegis, @btsiu, @namchyoon, @kookjinnies, @rjshope and whoever else wants to do this, please do and forward it to me or put it in my tracked tag so i can reblog it!

i love you all. happy new year 💜

#tag game #cc tag game #don't mind how bad that header gif is

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ranticore · 10 days ago

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Whats with the miasmatic harpy. why is he nakey. whats his relationship with Nico. Please. I need to know

his name is I Can't Believe It's Not Pascal (it is) and, in his own words,

[excerpts from tha story. context is our birdguy got in a fight with nico's friend and is recovering from his injuries and everyone at the barracks is like hey wtf is this monster who came out of the blue and attacked one of us]

Nico brought food, finally - a bucket of something unappetising from the dining hall.

"Ebb said you're from Ironwall's Cloud District," Nico said. "He's the black harpy, recognised your accent. Is it true?"

"Well well well, look at you giving enough of a shit to finally ask," Pascal said, settling down to a meal he supposed he was just supposed to eat without hands or tools.

"Watch your tone. I have better things to care about," Nico shot back immediately.

"You got nothing better than me in your life right now and being here really makes that obvious," Pascal said, darkly pleased to see Nico's expression tighten, as if to suppress a snarl.

But Nico seemed to understand that escalating the argument was counterproductive. He sat on a mounting block and said, "Isn't the Cloud District like where all Ironwall harpies come from?"

"No," Pascal insisted. He wished this conversation could happen with him sitting upright instead of having to lie awkwardly. "I'm from Ditchwater - Ditchwater! Don't you know where that is? It's the grooviest, most far out-"

"Who the fuck names a district 'Ditchwater?'"

"Cloud District bourgeoisie, that's who," Pascal said. "Rich people, you catch my drift? They built cloud and then for the rest of us, we got the ditch under it. They didn't want us up there." It seemed bizarre that Nico wasn't aware of it - even humans lived in Ironwall and it was the closest city to the Enclave barracks.He'd grown up around stratified harpy buildings, doors opening out into thin air and linked by long perching ropes. When the city had grown too crowded, new immigrants like his family had been priced out of the limited housing designed to suit their needs. So he'd lived on the ground instead in so-called Ditchwater, barred from flying easily by the power lines that passed under the Cloud District.

But it had been the cultural heart of north Ironwall, birthplace of music and art. Far more than the Cloud District ever was. Pascal was offended at the merest suggestion that he came from the clouds.

"I've been to the Cloud District," Nico said. "It's not that fancy. Kinda run-down. You've been out of it for a long time."

Pascal hmphed and looked away. He was never gonna let some normie featherless ape tell him shit about his home. He let out a short breath and glanced around, turning his head to look almost straight over his back at the peaks, grey and blue in the distance where the forest canopy didn't obscure them. Up there he still had some old photo albums, he could show Nico exactly what Ditchwater looked like.

But he wouldn't be able to go back to his Ironwall. Pascal was not wholly ignorant of how he differed to other harpies, but chiefly among his concerns were those crisscrossed power lines. He'd always been a lanky guy. Long wings ran in the family. Slender songbirds and crows flitted through those wires with far more ease than he'd ever managed, and now? Forget about it.

"If you love Ditchwater so much then why haven't you tried to go back?" Nico said, as if he'd read Pascal's mind.

"Right on, I''m sure that would go over well."

[...]

"I've got a recorder here," Nico said, showing Pascal a small black device. "When you talk, your words will be recorded. So be careful about what you say. I would like you now to tell me your name and date of birth."

"Okay. God damn." Pascal watched the other rangers at the entrance of the hall. They would make a harsh, judgemental audience.

"My name is Pascal, I was born in, uh, September of 1942. So, thirty-three, if you're counting."

Loud muttering behind him. Pascal knew his estimation of his age was off but he had no way to judge it accurately, and the spots of his life during which he'd interacted with other people were islands of clarity among an endless and timeless sea of wild animality.

"Thank you," Nico said. "Now, can you tell me how you got lost in the mountains?"

"Um, kinda? Let's say I got myself a record deal in Aberharain, yeah? Or something, they wanted me up there. So I take the old flightpath, though… my friends, they didn't. Other members of the band, you understand. I don't know why… we argued about it. Did they take another route? Couldn't say. But I'm flying alone. I take an updraft into the ceiling over the Enclaves, my lil altimeter going all crazy when I hit the limit. Then it says I'm climbing and it's wrong, I'm in level flight. Regular soaring. I drop to fix it, even, but I'm not the one that's at fault. It's this drop in atmospheric pressure, man, shit started plummeting and any harpy worth his wings knows what that means. They know what's coming. "

He glanced back, pleased to find the group of rangers hanging onto his every word, especially the few harpies among them. Understanding filled their eyes.

"And can you clarify what it means?" Nico asked.

"Storm coming," Pascal said.

The air outside was so calm, a nice summery morning, making it difficult to encompass what he had felt with just his words. How could he let them know it? The wind that would rip any living thing out of the sky, shaking him around in the roiling grey air until it was impossible to tell up from down. The rain that came so hard and fast it was like drowning on the wing.

"I see," said Nico tonelessly, refusing to be bought by Pascal's storytelling.

"You don't, man. You never felt this. I went storm-blind in seconds after it hit, I could have flown myself into the side of a mountain without knowing, or into the ground thinking I was still trying to climb. I tried to get up, over the storm cloud, but it was too much for me. It blew me off course. It woulda blown me into the sea if I'd been one peak further west. That's how it felt. All that rain, and me soaked to the skin. Lightning all over. And it did happen, anyways, I caught an air current that streamed the wrong way, thinking I was getting outta there, and it smashed me into the bottom of a valley. Broke my wing. Radio gone, no calling for help. Only thing to do was get under a ledge before the lightning got me."

He was surprised at how much he remembered, the crackling tension of static in the air ruffling his feathers and setting his hair on end. The wind cutting through him like knives, rain pelting the rock ledge while he hunkered down in his inadequate flight windbreaker. But he couldn't stay out of the rain, he'd been caught again by that wind…

"With my wing broken, I couldn't fold it. This thing was as good as a sail to that wind, and I was a boat. My feathers caught, and it dragged me out from under that ledge. Shredded me on the valley floor, man, worst road rash you can imagine. I stopped fighting it, and the wind got me in the very bottom of the valley, up against a rock, and I held onto that for the rest of the night."

Nico no longer seemed to want to interrupt, his expression somewhat appalled as he listened. Pascal glanced around at his audience and resisted the urge to preen. He'd always known how to spin a compelling story. Perhaps this would keep them from disappointment at the unsatisfactory conclusion to his tale.

As he ended his introduction, Nico cleared his throat.

"Were there no rangers on call that night? Did you inform anyone of your intent to cross the Enclaves?"

Pascal shook his head. "No wonder I never see anybody around the peaks anymore, if that's what you gotta do to even think about crossing."

"No," said Nico, "it's a banned route now. But back then it was one of the orange flight paths, you could fly it if you informed us of your intention."

"Who has the time?" Pascal said.

Nico's lips flattened into a line of bureaucratic disapproval.

"What next?" he said, instead of continuing to question.

"That's it, man," Pascal said. "I was stuck there and I never got to leave. Black and blue for a week after the storm. My wing - sure, it recovered, but it took time."

"What did you eat? How did you survive?" Nico demanded with increasing intensity.

"I - I just did," said Pascal. "I had some snacks in my bag. I caught a chamois, I think. I went to the highest point I could climb to see where I was but it was just mountains all around."

"After your wing healed, why didn't you leave?"

Pascal's gaze was distant now, unfocused. He knew again his unnatural shape, saw his talons on the cement floor too far below. Why hadn't he left? He'd healed up, his wing returning to a fit flying shape, which he'd never expected. Wing fractures were delicate and usually required intensive care to heal into the right shape for free flight.

But he'd hopped into the air again and the tame updraughts had carried him into the spine of the Enclaves, the jagged peaks, and he'd just… stayed. He wasn't a homing bird, not the type to see a magnetic north, but he had felt himself circling back to the peaks again and again, over and over, as if it were a magnet and he a fleck of iron.

"The mountains wanted me back," he said in a slow, halting voice.

Nico's thumb ran along the edge of the recorder case. Pascal followed the movement as if he'd spotted a hare from a thousand feet up.

"Do you remember what happened to make you so... different? You are aware of this, I know you are."

"Well, yeah, I'm not stupid. But I don't remember that. My clothes didn't fit, then I couldn't get them on at all. Made it easier to hunt… those clothes make a lot of wind noise. I remember flying down to say hi to a ranger but when I got close, she was so small. She ran away. They kept running away."

He sighed faintly, hoping that he'd managed to buy some pity points from his audience. "Then I tried to take them home with me, to my ledge. If I just got to talk to them, I'd make myself heard, we could be friends. I hadn't spoken to someone else in so long. I grabbed this harpy ranger once, I remember. Took him to the ledge. He didn't want any of it, I thought I could get him interested… nah. Not into me at all."

Nico's eyebrows shot up. "You were trying to date them?"

"Yeah, man, I was lonely! I dunno what I thought, really, I think I wanted them to stay. On my ledge, with me. I'd show them a nice time, catch them food… yeah, it wasn't a deal anyone wanted to take. They didn't see me as a person. So, to them, I wasn't."

There was no use shying away from what he'd done and he still felt vindicated, somehow, justified. Another, larger, part of him shrieked out for blood of any type, from any source, and the humans around him were only prey. In the rush of it he felt his rational side become buried, and his talons tightened on the concrete.

"Pascal," Nico said, in an impatient tone. "Pascal, pay attention. Look at me."

Pascal’s eyes fixed on him. But Nico, not reacting like a prey animal would, served to jolt him a little, pull him out of his reverie. The cold, raptorial quality left Pascal’s eyes and he lowered himself to Nico’s eye level, crouching on the hard, cold floor.

“I’ve been wanting to meet more people,” he said, as if nothing had happened. “So this is nice. Not that I think much of the welcome here, man, you guys have been dicks to me. You thought I was from Cloud District. Fuck you guys, man, you don’t know shit about Ironwall if that’s what you think.”

Behind him, the black harpy, Ebb, snorted derisively. “I’m from Cloud District, buddy, I know what I’m talking about.”

Pascal turned his head to look back over his shoulder. “You know fuck-all, man, but if that’s true then at least that explains it.”

“Hey, fuck you-“

“Enough,” Nico said, his voice lashing against them both. Pascal fell silent, his talons scraping the concrete. Nico nudged him, to get Pascal to face him again, and shook the recorder slightly. “Let’s get into this, shall we? I rang up our office in Ironwall to ask. Ditchwater was a district that was condemned thirty years ago, Pascal, it doesn’t exist anymore. It’s Cloud District or nothing. Ebb over there was born after that time.”

Pascal blinked. “That’s not true,” he said.

Nico sighed deeply. “I think my office in Ironwall would know better than-“

“No, dickhead, you’re wrong,” Pascal snapped, his feathers rising again to increase his silhouette. “That’s my home. I was just there, before the storm.”

Nico’s eyes darted across to the recorder and he seemed to brace himself before he spoke next; “Pascal, the year is 2017. You were reported missing 44 years ago. Do you understand me? You have been in the mountains for over forty years.”

“No,” said Pascal.

Nico raised an eyebrow. He pointed at the recorder. “What do you think this thing is?”

“It's a tape recorder.”

Nico turned it over, then popped open the back of the device. There was no tape inside, only something cylindrical nestled into the plastic. Some newfangled hi-fi recorder, Pascal supposed. It didn’t mean anything to him, anyway, he wasn’t their sound guy. His job was to look hot for a crowd and sing.

“And what the hell is that supposed to prove? You think I know anything about ranger shit? Get real. I was in the mountains for a couple years, I know, but don’t try to bullshit me. Don’t do that to me, man.” As he spoke his voice rose in volume. If he wanted, he could snatch up any one of these rangers and fling them into the sky, watch them fall and break against the ground, and he had to remind them of it. This prank wasn’t funny anymore.

Nico beckoned to Dayer, who gave Pascal a wide berth as he came to hand over a yellowed folder. Setting the recorder down on a table, Nico opened the folder and rifled through it until he found the missing person report, complete with Pascal’s photo from a festival a few years back. With his sharp eyesight, Pascal could read every word without having to step closer or beg Nico to hold it out for him.

It all appeared to be perfectly in order. Pascal’s name, his date of birth, his general details, even his old address all laid out nice in type-written text. But then Nico turned the page over, revealing more details; the accounts of a pair of search parties. Then another pair. And then, at the bottom of the page, the official fridging of his case a year later.

“And?” he said.

“And, look,” Nico said. He extracted another page from the folder. There were many in there, Pascal now noticed, and their colour varied from old and yellow to fresh white. Nico cleared his throat and began to read out a string of incident reports - “Tenth of March, 1977. Travellers reported sighting of a large flying creature near the peaks. Fifteenth of February, 1983. One man missing from a hiking party by the peaks, his companions state he was abducted by a large winged monster resembling a harpy. Thirtieth of June, 1985. Ranger Godfrey attacked by giant harpy and taken away to the tallest peak, he was never found. First of December, 1987, travellers again sight a giant harpy by the peaks, spotted only from a distance…” He continued in this fashion, before Pascal’s disbelieving eyes, until he reached the year 2000. And this one came with a photograph, a grainy image with odd blocks of colour, showing the giant spread wings of Pascal far in the distant sky, the shape of a chamois dangling from one foot.

“Finally,” Nico said, “just a few days ago, Dayer - remember him? - submitted his report. Twenty-first of May, 2017, Grabbed by a giant harpy who attempted to eat me. And here’s the photo.” Nico turned the page around to display a far cleaner image, one which lacked the chunks of colour and instead appeared very fine, despite the distance it must have been taken at. Pascal was flying away now, the span of his wing hiding his head, his dark-barred tail spread in a fan.

#defunct story & AU i don't feel like going further (esp. with the inver elements) but i always liked his design #writing tag

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virtual-winter · 3 months ago

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It's been 10 years since I first watched Frozen!🌻❄️⛏️☃️🦌

(Swedish DVD-copy of Frozen)

November 20th, 2014. It seems like forever ago. I remember watching this movie through my desktop ASUS PC (remember when computers used to have actual DVD-drives?) on a by today's standards pretty crappy Philips monitor. It didn't matter. The movie was like nothing else I had seen before. Even though I don't even have a sibling and can't fully relate to the conflict, Anna and Elsa's adventure is IMO one of the best stories ever told💕

I was 22 back then. A young man and totally in love with this Disney movie. Now I'm 32 and it continues to be among my favourite movies of all time. Even now, ten years later, I still live and breathe Frozen every day! It is a part of who I became and it is the way I wish to remain 😄

I have become a devoted fan of all things Frozen and I'm trying my best to be a part-time Frozen-analyst, mapmaker, worldbuilder and collector. I'm also known for using too many emotes and exclamation marks!

Below, I have tried to summarise some important and meaningful keepsakes and events from the past ten years. I hope you enjoy scrolling!✨✨✨

I believe this was the first ever Frozen-related pic that I saved (it's the oldest in my album) (April 2015)

I was equally in love with the OUAT Frozen arc and no one can tell me Georgina and Elizabeth were anything but perfect for their roles (April 2015)

🥹🥹🥹

(March 2015)

In just a couple of years we saw the franchise grow (did anyone else prefer the original logo for the musical?) (February 2016)

The official announcement we'd all been waiting for (April 2017)

The architect in me loved the castle! (2017)

I mean, who could ever forget this moment? (December 2018)

AJHFSJASJFKAGKJFGSKFDSGSJF!?!?!?!?!?!? (February 2019)

What are those????? (February 2019)

My first piece of "big" Frozen merch (April 2019)

I made a custom calendar just to count down the remaining days to Frozen II (I also avoided spoilers for the last 6 1/2 months) (December 2019)

🥹🥰😭

(December 2019)

Perfectly balanced, as it should be (February 2020)

Me collecting stuff! (February 2020)

Me going crazy saving as much Frozen content as possible 😅 (August 2020)

I joined r/Frozen (June 2021)

I started my deep-dive into Arendelle's geography in 2021 which ultimately lead to "An odyssey through Frozen geography", the first of many fandom projects! (July 2021)

Together with a group of equally dedicated Frozen nerds fans, I helped building the @arendelle-archives server and later tumblr-blog! (2021)

Collecting more things! (October 2021)

A Frozen comic writer responded to my reddit post?😲(December 2021)

I started developing ideas for a Frozen fanfic (2022)

Frozen III-announcement! Finally! (February 2023)

My Norway-trip of 2023. Without a doubt one of the most beautiful destinations on Earth and a must-go for anyone who wants to visit the real Arendelle!!! (July 2023)

I continue to delve into more map-related stuff in Wonderdraft (May 2024)

Together with the rest of the wonderful folks over at @frozen10fanzine, I helped create and design a fanzine summarising the memories of Frozen fans from the past decade! (July 2024)

A slice of my current Frozen collection! Some figures were very kindly donated to me by @yumeka-sxf 🙌 (July 2024)

And lastly, from today: the first snow of the season❄️🩵

If you made it this far, thank you for scrolling😅

Finally, a little shout-out to friends and acquaintances I've made through the likes of reddit, discord and tumblr in the past few years:

@bigfrozenfan @yumeka-sxf @greatqueenanna @queenritaofarendelle @saiten-gefroren @snowflaketale12 @cloudberriesforaqueen @theartoffrozen @secretsofthestorymakers

A big thank you also to the whole @arendelle-archives and @frozen10fanzine - teams! Y'all continue to inspire me!

#frozen #frozen 2 #disney frozen #elsa #anna #frozen fandom #frozen10 #frozen 3 #frozen 4 #arendelle archives #frozen memories #frozen fanzine #long post

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djtommotomlinson · 4 months ago

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last november i was in china when my little brother called me and told me to come home. over summer my nan, my mums mum, had passed away before i had managed to get back to see her and my mum, my best friend in the world, had a heart attack soon after. i was with her then. we went to the funeral. she got better. we saw robbie williams live. we went out drinking and to the beach and watched coyote ugly and la la land together, our fave movies.

when my brother called me to tell me mum had cancer i knew it was bad. i lost my best friend to cancer when we were just 16 years old. thats never a good word. but its my mum. and to quote her days after her own mums death 'i always knew one day my mum would die but i never knew she would, like, actually die'.

i knew in the back of my head why i was going home but i didnt believe it. i watched spiderverse for like the third time on the plane. i went to grab my suitcase and laughed when i realised i was at the wrong shanghai - gatwick conveyor belt. who knew there were two at almost the same time.

then my brother, my baby brother, who is 30 next year but was 28 and always our baby brother, called me and my life is never ever going to be the same. i knew the moment he called. and i sat on the floor at gatwick airport shaking and people kept coming over to ask if i was okay and finally my sister and my aunties, my mums sisters, arrived and they were let into the baggage area when they explained and picked me off the floor.

i dont think this is a grief that has settled yet. i was meant to see louis that night. i havent listened to a song by him since despite his music getting me through some of my hardest times. my denial, she'll walk through the door and say this was all a joke, phase went on for months after we planned and executed a funeral and wake on the beach in malta. i made a great playlist, i wrote a great eulogy. i did that but it didnt properly sink in why.

i still, almost a full year on, wake up and think about messaging her to tell her how im feeling and check in on her.

my mum used to send me one direction news she found on facebook every day. harrys got a new album emmy did you know? and i was like no mum wow thank you (of course i already knew). she loved niall and we were going to see him live together. she wasnt a big fan of louis' music but ached for what he'd been through. i woke up the day after hearing about liam expecting a text from her checking in because she got me 1d tickets in 2014 for my 23rd birthday and she brought me merch and the dvd of the movie -

my mum who hated the beatles because they were too mainstream but loved what i loved because i loved it and was passionate about it. god she would have been crushed for me today. she would have been heart broken.

and i think this has hit me like a train not only because everyone who knows me knows how much i loved liam as if he was my own friend, but also because this past year has been so full of grief i dont always know how to get out of bed. my dads mum passed a few months ago. my family are wrecked with it. this past year has been a nightmare we can't get out of.

i always related to liam as someone who was bullied at school and as someone who suffers from mental illness and has suffered from alcoholism, thankfully, for me, something ive managed to come back from and im sober and i always hoped for that for him. its such a hard fucking mountain to climb and i didn't have to deal with the fame side of it and this whole other thing he had to carry. i always wanted him to get better but in the back of my head i had this feeling, i had this fear that i would one day log into tumblr and see the worst.

i still cant, and im sure for a long time won't, believe this real. thats one of my boys. we were very much meant to get old together. i wanted to see him get better. i cant begin to comprehend the fact he wont have that chance. this still doesnt feel real to me man. thats my boy.

just a few days ago I was in a convenience store and they were playing heart meets break and i was jamming and excited to hear my boy in a store. i keep remembering its happened, and i look at the photo on my bedside of me and my mum at the robbie williams concert and i could really do with her right now. a link to a facebook article and her over use of emojis - a shocked and crying face and a broken heart. because what else can express this?

i know i didnt know him but i always had the comfort of knowing of him, of listening to his music and watching his videos and feeling less alone in a cruel and lonely world.

its okay to be a fucking mess, if you can take time out please do. i wish this world allowed more of that. after my mum everyone had to go back to jobs and life and it still blows my mind that i was walking down the street then and today and everything was the same. the world should pause but it doesn't.

at the end of all of this, one day this might settle and make sense but right now it doesnt at all and thats how these things work. i love you all, this is not something i thought we would have to face until we had all grown old and spent all of our money on reunion tickets and seen our boys grow old and live their lives.

give people you love a hug, tell people you love that you care about them, work out problems and differences if you can and make the most of it. you never know how much time you have.

#death cw #grief cw #i dont think people will see this but i gotta rant about shit somewhere #and if you do see this all my love #i wish i was getting to a stage where this makes sense but im still very much not #im seeing the boys talk about it and still not

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solarwynd · 2 months ago

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It's amazing how much can change in such a short time. Just 4 months ago, a lot of people were convinced that JK was BTS' most successful and popular member and JJKs were very loud and smug about it.

Now, while there's still obviously a lot of people who think JK is more popular and successful, I'm starting to see a lot more people "think" it's Jimin (or that he's at least equal to JK) because of WHO. Things were so different in 2023.

It literally went from seeing JJKs' taunts on a daily about how the #1 on Billboard made PJMs think they "touched heaven" and now they're making up false narratives about how JK is a fraud and an industry plant simply because they can't deal with the reality of JK taking all of Jimin's records and proving more successful.

Now it's like you can sense there's this insecurity in their spaces. Not that it wasn't already there - they have been obsessing over Jimin way before solo era after all - but this time it genuinely feels different. First when they came across just one post talking about how Jimin seems more successful than JK in the US, they'd come to laugh and boast like they genuinely believe what OP is saying is ridiculous. Now half of the time they come to respond with "please keep JK out of your mouth"

I also love that people aren't afraid to point out the fact that JK was extremely advantaged with Seven and Golden when there's a debate about Jimin vs JK. JJKs absolutely hate that because they can't give an effective counter-argument to that. There's also the annoying "I'm surprised Jimin is more successful than JK in the US" comments (like where have you been, it's been 9 years) but it's whatever. I'm just happy that this type of discourse is becoming so prominent when a few months ago it was seen as something "delusional Jimin solos are pushing and trying to force on everyone"

For a year JJKs and ARMYs were too comfortable with that guy on "the throne". Now you can feel the cognitive dissonance in their fake, OT6 closeted Taekooker diet JK solo envious-and-irrationally-biased-against-jimin brains.

MUSE and WHO truly came like a gift from the Gods. It feels like I'm finally breathing for the first time in a long time. Initially I didn't like the fact Jimin was releasing an album while he was away and couldn't promote. I didn't think it'd flop (that's impossible for Jimin) but I did believe it would fail to exceed or even come close to making the numbers that FACE did, the major reason bring that I thought they'd sabotage him even more than they did FACE. Little did I know it would exceed my expectations, that it would come like the angel of Karma and Retribution herself to avenge Like Crazy and FACE, and wipe all our sorrows😭 (I (know we'll never ever truly be able to just get over what happened in 2023 tho... All that great potential wasted.. LC would have hands down been Jimin's Espresso had it been nurtured the way it was supposed to)

I will be honest, however, and say that I'm feeling anxious about all these rumours that JK has new singles coming up, because we all know Scooter Braun is gonna do everything in his power to give him records that exceed WHO this time. The payola is about to "never like it's nevered before", and we'll basically be back to square one with his solos and ARMYs.

I simply can't stand it. I can't stand when those people are happy, hyping lies and corruption and defending it with their lives.

But whatever is meant to happen will I happen, I guess. For now I'll continue to bask in this glory..

I thought we'd sadly have to wait until after 2025 to shut motherfuckers up and humble them, but Christmas decided to come early.

Even when JK releases something new, I don’t think it’ll be another Seven in terms success. A slightly more successful 3D or SNTY maybe. (if it’s a solo song)

If they’re set on outdoing Seven, Scooter would literally have to give JK Taylor Swift numbers and nobody is doing that outside of her. (Even that fraudulent ass 15.9M he asked one of his contacts at Spotify HQ to type in is still is ridiculous to this day.) Ntm, we’ve already seen what he does without Scooter giving him a boost with NLG. To all of a sudden triple those numbers, inexplicably going back to debuting with 2M+ in the US after not entering US Spotify at all and scrapping the bottom of hot 100 with barely any streams would just be entirely too obvious. (Though I’m sure Bang and Scooter would not care)

If anything, Jimin isn’t even the one to beat, it’d be Rose with ATP. Because Bang was so sure that having a collab with a western artist to get big was his solely his brainchild. But now Atlantic swooped in and disproved that. They probably will have him comeback with yet another collab though instead of solo to hide that fact, which would be the smartest thing to do. But again it’s just proving that these k soloists cannot stand on their own unless they’re backed with payola or hiding behind a western feature. So there’s really nothing to be anxious about.

So kpop stans and armys can say or believe whatever they want to. It’s never changing the fact that Jimin is objectively the most impactful and successful Korean SOLOist out here.

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pineapplefulfillseveryneed · 5 months ago

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Sparkstember day 29: The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte✨

As Latte is extra-extra special I'm adding my caption that I wrote for Instagram today:

And here we have my final top 5 album 💖 And what also might possibly have been my absolute favourite tour, which I don't say lightly.

Everything came together for this one 💖 It seemed to continue where the 2022 tour had left things and then expanded on how amazing that one had been: the new album being one of the very best, the wonderful setlist choices, the tour outfits (...I can't believe I've STILL not drawn Ron's shoes!!! I'm going to have to remedy that soon!), the band, the lights, the super special venues but also the fact that *everyone* really seemed to be there!

My heart was just exploding the entire time, there's no words that do all of this album & tour justice.

The Brussels show very likely is my favourite Sparks show of all time and lucky me: that was also the last show that I've seen. I still think about it all the time. All the shows were so very special in their own way, I feel so so lucky to have been present for the Royal Albert Hall shows with my friends sitting next to me, and to have started the tour with the Manchester show with another really great friend sitting next to me!

I love this album *so very much* - it truly is so special 💖 Especially Not That Well-Defined, Escalator, Take Me For A Ride and It Doesn't Have To Be That Way are songs that I feel in my bones. (I *especially especially* love It Doesn't Have To Be That Way live. Also the Escalator dance remains my favourite thing ever! 🌞)

…I guess for this album and this tour, all that can really be said is THANK YOU. To Sparks, and also all the fellow fans who made this all so magical ✨

(P.S. BALLS!)

#sorry I'm so late yet again!! i wont be able to reblog things from yesterday and today yet as it's 2:30am already 🫠#but I love this album and tour way too much!#sparks #ron mael #russell mael #Sparkstember #Sparkstember 2024 #Sparkstember day 29 #Sparks (band)#Sparks art #my art

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arnixen · 3 months ago

Text

I know that Vessel wasn't originally written with the lore in mind, but knowing that the whole story of Dema and the Banditos is allegory for Tyler's struggles with mental health, a lot of the songs can easily be thought of in ways that correlate to the lore, pre-blurryface.

So, I've pieced together a chronology of songs in Vessel, and how they show Clancy within Dema before his first escape in HeavyDirtySoul

Ode to Sleep

Self explanatory, with fear tactics and constant anxiety playing a role in vialism, but playing them off as good things, reflected in the upbeat parts of the song.

"I swear I heard demons yelling / those crazy words they were spelling / they told me I was gone"

The bishops + subliminal messaging of the glorious gone.

Holding on to You

This song highlights Clancy's heavy mental reliance on vialism and how convinced he was by the bishops. Themes of suicide are heavily present in this song, and they're glorified by the upbeat tone of the song. "Entertain my Faith" is repeated throughout, showing that Clancy wants some real reason to follow this religion of vialism (This song is originally about Tyler's Christianity in real life, asking for some earthly benefit of his faith)

Migraine

Clancy describing his experiences in Dema, he feels alone in his mental issues, primarily because the bishops' methods separate people, and create propaganda for how happy of a place Dema is. (whereas in most views of Dema we get, it's quite an empty, quiet, and bleak city)

Screen

About how DEMA exploits the most vulnerable people with 'screens on their chests.' this shows that the bishops aren't strong enough to exploit people that aren't already experiencing mental illness.

Specifically Clancy realizing himself being exploited this way.

The Run and Go

A representation of Clancy's first thoughts of leaving the city of Dema. The upbeat happy music sounds disingenuous to me, so I think it could be interpreted as the bishops trying to lure him back in with happy thoughts, but it could also represent the relief he feels from even considering leaving Dema.

Guns for Hands

Represents, again, with "I'm trying to sleep / but I can't / when you all have guns for hands" how the bishops use constant anxiety and fear to their advantage in exploiting the civilians. Also the fear that Clancy feels as he starts to seriously realise how dangerous of a system he lives within.

Fake You Out

This is Clancy starting to seriously doubt the teachings of Dema and vialism, this song is the beginning of his journey to his first escape. He starts to realise how fragile the bishops' system really is. Also planning his escape, and how he'll "fake you out."

Car Radio

When Clancy is finally disillusioned to Dema and the bishops, he's forced to face his own thoughts and the consequences of believing in this cult "now I just sit in silence" in my mind, this song leads directly into heavydirtysoul, with the themes of his regret instantly leading to his first actual escape attempt (also car go vroom)

The remaining songs are Truce, Semi-Automatic, Trees, and House of Gold. I didn't try to attribute these to lore elements because they seem heavily rooted in real-world experiences, and don't really fit in the established lore, similar to some other non-lore songs in other albums.

Let me know what you think!

#twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #tøp #21p #vessel #twenty one pilots lore #fan theory #josh dun #dema #trench

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lovecanyon · 2 years ago

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EXES TO LOVERS INSTAGRAM BLURB

harry styles x reader

MASTERLIST | PATREON

liked by kidharpoon, annetwist and 4,903,146 others

yourinstagram MYYY ALBUM IS OFFICIALLY OUT NOW!!! WHAT A YEAR ❤️

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ynfan8 i just fell on my knees

harryfan10 SHE IS SO MOTHER

harrystyles Such a brilliant album, I love it. Congratulations.

yourinstagram ❤️

ynfan5 WHAT IS HARRY DOING HERE 😭

harryfan7 harry being a supportive ex…we love to see it!!

alexachung literally album of the year

ynfan4 y/n came to us when we needed her the most 🧎‍♀️

adele streaming as we speak 💖

harryfan6 harry commenting…he’s so messy omg

gemmastyles i swear you are too talented y/nnnn!

yourinstagram love and miss you gem

ynfan3 UMMMM

liked by harryfan11, ynfan13 and 202,815 others

enews Harry Styles congratulated ex Y/N L/N on her new album recently. The two began to trend on social media leading fans to believe that they could get back together. Both singers refused to confirm nor comment on this situation.

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harryfan17 leave my parents alone!

ynfan14 can’t harry congratulate y/n in peace 🫣

harryfan19 right, nonetheless they are still friends……

ynfan12 harry’s house being about y/n…my 21st century blues being about harry 🤯

harryfan15 i’m sorry but they were such a hot couple

ynfan18 predicting exes to lovers…

harryfan20 can you guys just let them live in peace, they literally just broke up last year

ynfan22 something is screaming inside of me

harryfan16 HARRY HAS ALWAYS SUPPORTED HIS EXES

ynfan25 the earth is finally healing

harryfan21 anyways stream escapism!!!

ynfan23 don’t let me get me hopes up 🫠

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kidharpoon My 21st Century Blues, one of my favorite albums I produced.

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harryfan24 I AM GOING INSANE

ynfan26 isn’t this harry’s producer too 😭

yourinstagram love ya kid!

|| kidharpoon ❤️❤️

harryfan28 i’m for sure not sleeping tonight

mitchrowland honestly the best album yet

ynfan27 Y/N DESERVES A GRAMMY FOR CREATING THIS ALBUM

jefezoff two talented people

harryfan30 i am so in love with her

pillowpersonpp congratulations, so happy for you both!

ynfan29 this album doesn't have one skip on it 😩

harrystyles Beauty and talent.

harryfan31 I AM SCREAMING…WHAT

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columbiarecords Y/N L/N’s album “My 21st Century Blues” rises on the Billboard Hot 100 this week.

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ynfan32 I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT

harryfan36 y/n supremacy 😌

yourinstagram i’m not crying

ynfan38 she deserves this so much omg 😭

kidharpoon this really is the best year ever and it’s barely february!!

harryfan33 i love this for y/n

gemmastyles so proud and happy ❤️

ynfan35 ALBUM OF THE YEAR. ALBUM OF THE YEAR. ALBUM OF THE YEAR.

arianagrande her album has me in a chokehold…

harryfan39 y/n needs every award there is for making this album

paulithepsm why is this the best news ever!?!?

ynfan34 all i can say is this was so deserved

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harryflorals HARRY ON THE BRITS RED CARPET!

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harryfan41 i am now officially dead

ynfan45 HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

harryfan46 harry’s back has to hurt from constantly carrying the best dressed title 😌

ynfan48 arrived to sweep the brits

harryfan42 first the grammys and now this…

ynfan44 harry can run me over, stomp on me..and i wouldn’t care

harryfan47 on my hands and knees

ynfan49 i mean who wouldn’t write an album about harry…

harryfan51 HE KEEPS ON SLAYING

ynfan53 committing arson

harryfan55 i want to be his housewife 🫣

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gemmastyles Gals at the Brits

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ynfan50 Y/N IS THERE???

harryfan54 omg our parents are being reunited tonight, nobody talk to me

yourinstagram i missed you gem

gemmastyles well i missed you more sweetheart ❤️❤️

ynfan58 omg i’m sobbing

pillowpersonpp having the best time!!!

harryfan60 Y/N AND HARRY ARE SITTING AT THE SAME TABLE…SHUT UP

anthonypham one of the best brits so far

ynfan56 stop this or i will jump into conclusions 😭

kidharpoon love spending time with family!

harryfan59 I LOVE IT HERE

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ynupdates Y/N GAVE A SURPRISE PERFORMANCE AT THE BRITS TONIGHT

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ynfan63 her outfit is giving harry 😩

harryfan69 BEST PERFORMANCE AT THE BRITS…SORRY NOT SORRY

ynfan65 ate up harry and left no crumbs behind…

harryfan62 you can just tell y/n just borrowed an outfit from harry’s closet

ynfan66 she’s going to make me go insane

harryfan68 OBSESSED WITH HER

ynfan70 y/n is so talented

harryfan67 harry was dancing during her performance too 🫠

ynfan72 the best surprise ever

harryfan74 the way y/n’s outfit was designed by harry lambert 😭 it’s so obvious

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harry_lambert Brits 2023!

Wearing @ ninaricci 💕

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ynfan71 THE MOST GORGEOUS GIRL IN THE WORLD

harryfan73 i am going crazy over her

harrystyles My beautiful angel.

ynfan75 parenthesis on “my” 🫠

harryfan78 BOOM. CRASH. SLAM.

gemmastyles y/n is so perfect!!

ynfan76 2023 has been the best year for harry and y/n fans 😌

_basselin i couldn’t stop looking at her last night

pillowpersonpp i thought i was the only one…

harryfan79 PLEASE I LOVE THEM

emmalouisecorrin drop dead gorgeous!!!

ynfan80 harry’s comment has me shaking 😭

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thesun Y/N L/N and Harry Styles both attended a Brits after party last night in London and even left together in the same vehicle.

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harryfan81 UMMM WHAT

ynfan85 i actually manifested this!

harryfan88 sleeping on the highway tonight 🧎‍♀️

ynfan82 well we all knew this was coming

harryfan89 right when harry commented on y/n’s post…i knew something was going to happen 😭

ynfan83 mother and father 🙏

harryfan88 kid harpoon most definitely got them back together

ynfan87 why has this been the best year yet

harryfan90 can they just get married already?

ynfan92 y/n and harry need to pull a sarah and mitch…and get married secretly

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yourinstagram my album has only been out for three weeks and already i’ve received so much love! this is such an overwhelming feeling, i love you all ❤️❤️

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harryfan91 OMG SHE DESERVES EVERYTHING

ynfan93 why do i feel like a proud mother

harrystyles Baby, I love you so much!

yourinstagram i love you garry

harryfan95 NOT GARRY 😭

ynfan97 did this just confirm that they got back together…

kidharpoon you, garry and i make such a good team

harryfan94 i love y/n so much 🥹

annetwist congratulations on your new achievements darling!!

ynfan96 i’m crying with her

colombiarecords our queen 💕

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harrystyles Morning after The Brits and I couldn’t be happier.

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harryfan102 this left me speechless

ynfan105 I WANT TO BE HARRY SO BAD 😭

yourinstagram I love you my sweet boy.

harrystyles And your sweet boy loves you.

harryfan108 this has me in shambles 💔

ynfan104 “sweet boy” can someone please run me over

emmalouisecorrin a goddess!!!

harryfan101 after seeing this…i don’t even want harry anymore…i want y/n

harry_lambert this just blew me away

ynfan109 HARRY IS SO INSANE FOR THIS

jefezoff love you two lovebirds 💖

harryfan106 y/n is the only woman ever!

tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @seguin-styles1996 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @kaitieskidmore1 @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane @golden-hoax @flwrmuse @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @stellarossii @scenesofobx @manifestrry @lomlolivia @b-reads-things

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #boyfriend!harry #harry styles fake social media #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles one shot #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfic rec #harry styles writing

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