#can’t stress enough how much I’d rather be laid up in bed having adventures in Hyrule

[thegreatandpowerfulwas]

didn’t get many photos i liked last night but really i should just focus on playing the game 😂 i like the trill of music that plays when you get out of the pond and the game announces you’re back in Hyrule 🎶

[tobesoalive]

rises the moon (Josh Kiszka x Reader)

here’s a fluffy smut pice for y'all about the hottest man alive, Josh Kiszka! Let me know if you like it and want to see more of this stuff, I had a lot of fun writing it! Anyways....enjoy!

WARNINGS: smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, the usual 

“C’mon babe! Let's celebrate a little!” you nagged your sweaty, grinning boyfriend. Josh Kiszka was the love of your life, and had been since you met three years ago. It was a warm August night and he had just gotten done performing his first show in months.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let loose a bit” he replied with a grin. “I’m kinda tired though so do you mind if it’s just the two of us?”

“I guess I could tolerate that” you tease.

After about another hour of hearing people congratulate the boys and helping pack up it was time to go. You were able to make it to the car without being swarmed by fans, but still stopping for a few photos. You offered to drive so that Josh could sleep for a little bit. Finally you pulled up to the little bungalow you and Josh had started living in a few months ago. It only made sense for the two of you to live together since you were practically inseparable.

Entering through the garage you kicked off your shoes as Josh questioned what you had in mind.

“Well I was thinking we could put on a record and maybe cook some food? Maybe even enjoy a glass of wine if you’re feeling wild”

“You know me baby, I’m always wild!” he responds, doing a weird voice that you rolled your eyes at, but deep down you loved it.

“I think the term feral suits you better” you quip, pulling him in for an embrace.

He rests his head on your shoulder, nuzzling his face into your neck, breathing deeply. You know how stressed and anxious he has been these past few weeks leading up to the show, and it made you so happy to see him finally relaxing. Silently your bodies part ways and he makes his way over to your extensive vinyl collection in the living room. He’s flipping through records when you run up to your bedroom and come back down the stairs, hands hiding behind your back.

“Hey Frodo, I have a little surprise for you”

“Oh boy what could it be, a sacred ring or some shit?” he says without looking up, putting a Fleet Foxes record on the turntable.

“Sorry for calling you a hobbit, I just wanted to make sure I got your attention.” you say as he finally makes his way over to you.

From behind your back you pull out a single joint and a lighter, one you had hand decorated with little stars and a moon. On it you had written in gold Sharpie “You are my sun”.

“Babe this is so amazing!” he says while taking the lighter in his hand and flipping it around. Josh was always keeping your sketches and random doodles that you thought nothing of, so you thought you’d put them on something he’d get use out of.

“I’m sorry I know it’s small, I just wanted to give you a little something to say congrats.”

“Are you kidding mama?! I love it, you didn’t have to do anything!” he assures you before pulling you in for a kiss.

“I will definitely be putting this to good use, but I think we should break it in now” he says before pulling you over to the couch and putting the joint between his lips.

He passes it to you and you inhale deeply, letting the sweet smoke fill your lungs. This was an activity you and Josh liked to partake in when you had a stressful day, or when you were going on an adventure, or anytime really. Not that either of you weren’t already very laid back and silly.

After a few minutes of the two of you passing the joint back and forth it was gone, and you ashed it out in the tray on the coffee table, setting the lighter to rest beside it.

“God that was a really great present actually, I just wish there was a way I could repay you” Josh says turning to face you.

“It’s a gift, you don’t need to repay me!” you tell him, starting to feel the effects of the weed.

“But you see I’m just a giving person, and what I’d like to give to you right now is a mind blowing orgasm” Josh says, and you can’t help but burst out laughing. You cover your face with your hands before facing him and saying “Kiszka you are such a dork, you’re lucky I find you so attractive!”

Both of you are grinning as your lips collide and after a minute of making out you pull back.

“After some deep consideration, I’ve come to the conclusion that that is an offer i just can’t refuse”

“Oh my love you are in for a treat!” he tells you before pulling you onto his lap.

Your hips start to move against his involuntarily, and you can feel him growing harder beneath his shorts. You tug at the hem of his white shirt and he lifts his arms up so you can pull it off him. Once again you break the kiss to move down on to your knees, ready to tease him with your mouth.

“Oh no princess, none of that tonight. All I really want to do is taste you so you better get your ass on this couch” he says with a small laugh.

You giggle as you get back on the sofa, barely able to contain your excitement. He unbuttons your pants and awkwardly yanks them off, causing you both to laugh. Quickly, his face becomes more serious as he concentrates on running his fingers up and down on the inside of your thighs, lightly ghosting around where you need him most.

“Joshua please” you whimper as you throw your head back, becoming more and more frustrated by his teasing.

“Sorry baby, I was just admiring how wet you already are. Was it from me?”

“Mhmm” you moan in response, tilting your head back down to make eye contact with him.

“Well I suppose I could treat you, since you’ve been such a good girl” he smirks before pulling your panties to the side, running his middle finger up and down your slit.

His teeth bite at his bottom lip as he darts his eyes from your wet center and back up to your eyes. You’re unable to take your eyes off of him, the sight of him alone is enough to make you come.

Slowly, he pushes his middle finger in, down to the last knuckle, letting it sit there a moment before he starts to pump it in and out of you at a lazy pace. Your walls contract around him as your eyes start to tear up, desperate for more.

“Josh more please” you plead with him. Instantly he attaches his lips to your clit, the motion all too familiar to him, the hairs above his lip and on his chin adding extra sensation. He swirls his tongue around the sensitive bud as his finger speeds up it’s pace. You can feel the heat start to pool in your stomach as he continues his actions. He adds a second finger, taking a moment to pull his mouth away and use his free hand to pull your panties to the side more. He dives back in, more concentrated than ever, fingers curling up to hit the delicate spot inside of you. You can see him rutting against the couch and it’s enough to make you throw your head back and let out a loud and rather pornographic moan.

“I think I’m gonna-” you start to say as the fire in your belly builds.

“It’s okay baby, you can do it, cum for me” he says, flashing his gorgeous smile quickly before returning his lips to your clit, moaning around it, sending delicious vibrations through your body. Your fingers lace through his curls as his fingers pump at an insane speed, sending you over the edge.

Your body shakes as stars form behind your closed eyelids, every part of you basked in complete euphoria, oblivious to everything around you. After a minute you open your eyes as you whimper at the feeling of Josh dragging his fingers out of you, but the feeling of his breath still hot against your clit.

You look down to see Josh with his eyes closed, partially hunched over as his hands rest on his knees, your juices gleaming on his tan skin.

“Wow, I owe you one, that was fucking amazing” you sigh.

“I’d love that, but I’m gonna have to take a rain check, seems my problem took care of itself” he says, cheeks turning red.

You look down to see a dark spot on his green shorts, realizing that he was experiencing just as much pleasure from pleasuring you.

“Joshua Michael Kiszka, that is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life!” you say before pulling him into a kiss, the taste of you lingering on his lips. The thought of him getting off from eating you out alone drove you wild, he really fucking loves you.

“God I’ve never been more tired and content in my life” he says as his arms find their way around you, head burying into your neck.

“Well my prince, why don't you go upstairs and get in bed while I get you a glass of water and a snack”

“Oh my god, how did I get this lucky?” he says

“I ask myself the same thing everyday” you say before giving him one last kiss.

“You are my moon”

“And you my sun”

And you meant every bit of it.

[musicallisto]

Congrats on 800 followers Clara! Could I request a vanilla milkshake for the MCU please if it's OK? I'm female, bisexual so any gender is fine, Libra, Hufflepuff. I'm a little shy at first but open up once I get to know you and I'm always up for a laugh and loyal to my friends and family. I'm a writer and I love reading, baking, taking walks in the forest and browsing bookstores and coffee shops. I love fantasy, horror and comedy movies and I love pop, folk and country music. I'm learning how to do tarot readings. I hope this is enough, thank you so much!

here’s your vanilla milkshake, and I’m sorry for my sporadic posting schedule - school, stress, failing classes, you know the drill. nevertheless, I hope you enjoy your little story with christine palmer!

Christine is among the most selfless and dedicated people you’ve ever met - that much is clear from your first meeting.

She sometimes stops by the same coffee shop you’ve been regularly going to for months now, and despite how exhausted and disheveled she looked the first time you laid eyes on her, you couldn’t help being blown away by her radiant smile and the warmth that emanated from her without her even knowing it.

You watched as she ordered the strongest coffee they could possibly make her without breaking any federal laws and your eyes crossed a few times as she was waiting by the counter - making you blush and drop your gaze to your laptop, discarded on a side of the table in favor of your drawings and writings.

You often found yourself absent-mindedly drawing strangers and passerbys that came and left your familiar coffee shop to procrastinate work; and after that encounter, you realized that for a good week everything you drew and wrote seemed to take inspiration from the same muse, as though there wasn’t any room for anything else in your mind.

You would’ve loved to start up a conversation with her, but you were way too shy for that, and so was she - so it would remain an unspoken fantasy that you both harbored without telling the other.

(But you still shared a few knowing glances, each a little longer than the last, and timid smiles each time she stopped by.)

Eventually, in a fit of courage, you decided to walk up to her and order something for the heck of it, just to... stand next to her, supposedly thinking that waiting alongside her in a “““casual and laid-back””” manner would make things less awkward between you two and prompt a beginning of conversation.

Which it... did, weirdly enough. But it was more so thanks to her, who finally seized her courage and advised you against ordering that chocolate croissant.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have that if I were you, especially with how early in the morning it is.”

“Really? I thought French people had this for breakfast.”

“Do you truly want to follow an example set by French people?”

You both laugh together, a sweet little sound that contrasts with how absolutely exhausted she looks.

Over the course of your conversation, you understand the reason why she always stops by on a whim, never to stay longer than five minutes, and is always out of breath and with her hair tousled in all directions; she works as a nurse in the nearby hospital, and coffee is her reward for making it through her night shift.

“But don’t you want to sleep when you get home after working all night?”

“Trust me, with how tired I am, even if I drank the entire kettle I’d still pass out as soon as I hit my bed.”

So over the days you learn her habits, the coffee she takes and the pastry she sometimes allows herself as a dalliance. You even save her a seat for when she can stay for more than a few minutes.

It becomes a ritual for the two of you, almost everyday; but you don’t really conceive these meetings as dates, rather... comforting meetings.

Your first real date, officially recognized as such by both parties, is at a bookstore that you’ve been dying to check out.

Christine doesn’t have much time to read with how overworked she is, but she accepts your invitation nonetheless - time spent with you anywhere is time well-spent.

You meander through the alleys, checking out the books and discussing them with Christine... enthusiastically talking about your favorites and not realizing how expressive you get.

“I’m so sorry, I’m totally boring you to death right now...”

“No, no, don’t apologize! I love listening to you talk about what you love.”

She offers you the sweetest smile ever, so well-meaning and encouraging, the smile of someone who genuinely cares about you and is starting to fall for you.

You even dare to take her hand in yours, and shyly squeeze her fingers... but the position is so comfortable that you don’t have any excuse to let go of her hand. So the rest of the date is spent holding hands, as you should have from the beginning.

It’s not long after that you officially get together, and it’s the sweetest and most loving relationship you’ve ever been in, but also one full of mischief and little adventures - because even with her work and strong sense of ethics, Christine is always up for some good fun.

It’s a bit difficult dating someone who can’t spend their nights with you, but you understand that she’s dedicating her time to saving other’s lives, and don’t hold it against her at all; in fact, you’re quite admirative of her drive and selflessness.

You sometimes drop by the hospital unannounced to surprise her while she’s at work, alone and busy on the night shift. You aren’t big on PDA, but you’ll always steal some discreet kisses when no one is looking.

... Or you thought that no one was looking, but of course, Dr. Strange has the ability to somehow always find himself in the most inconvenient places at the most inconvenient moments, but he pretends he hasn’t seen anything when he calls out to Christine to get back to work.

Still, she gives you a conniving wink as she disappears in the white hallways.

You now know that she has found a motivation much more powerful than coffee for pushing through her night shift; the simplicity of getting back home and falling asleep in your arms.

800 follower sleepover CLOSED!

[thatincorrectquotegeneratorguy]

Today’s Added Submissions

Person A: Why are you doing this?

Person B: Same reason I do everything, Person A. To get somebody to like me

~~~

Person A: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Person B: What- how?

Person A: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

~~~

Person A: What do you want then?

Person B: Er… something work related.

Person A: What department is this?

Person B: Sorry?

Person A: Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this?

Person B: *looks at Person C and Person D* Some sort of homosexual department?

~~~

Person A: *talking about Person B’s funeral* You do know we’re burying a great man today!

Person C, shocked: Did someone else die?

~~~

Person A: Yeah, I don’t like people.

Person B: Oh, well now that’s not fair Person A. Have you met all of them?

Person A: I’ve met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

~~~

Person A: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something.

Person B: *laughs* Book recommendation? I can’t read!

~~~

Person A: Can I have a private talk with you?

Person B: Okay, as long as it’s not about tampons because I just don’t understand them.

~~~

Person A: If any person here knows of any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Person B: Yes! I do. One of the partners is already married! They married me three years ago. And don’t let them deny it! I’ve got the marriage certificate to prove it!

*Person C turns around to face them*

Person B: Oh… sorry. Wrong church.

~~~

Person A: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour.

~~~

Person A: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was amazing fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sibling and went around really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with anything when I was my crazy twin Person A.

Person B: But you’re Person A.

Person A: Kinda stuck. It’s a long story.

~~~

Person A: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Person B has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.

Person C: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at?

Person A: I knew you’d understand.

~~~

Person A: Your lab is in the bathroom?

Person B: Person C says this is the perfect place for my work. I’m just now realizing that remark may not have been entirely complimentary.

~~~

Person A: Big day today, Person B. *holds up two shirts* Mustard stain or ketchup stain?

Person B: Mustard– looks less like blood.

~~~

Person A: Person B, what do you call people you go out with but don’t try to sleep with?

Person B: ...People?

~~~

Person A: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.

Person B: Hot dog costumes!

Person A: I’m sorry, what?

Person B: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Person C, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Person C hates hot dogs, so they probably won’t eat us.

Person A: Are you saying that Person C would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Person C: I do hate hot dogs.

~~~

Person A: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff.

Person B: Oh, that was all real.

Person A: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?!

Person B: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

~~~

Person A: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateur adventurers.

Person B: That sounds like a challenge.

Person A: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.

Person B: …Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!

Person A: There is no challenge!

~~~

Person A: Don’t stay up all night, Person B. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

~~~

Person A: Person B, what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?

Person B: Raise the dead.

Person A: And what did you do?

Person B: Raise the dead.

~~~

Person A: I’m so excited!

Person B: We’re gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy…

Person A: And have the biggest stomach aches ever!

Person B: Yeah!

~~~

Person A: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Person B: Marry me.

~~~

Person A: Person B is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.

Person B: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.

~~~

Person A: You know what I learned from my friendship with Person B?

Person C: There’s no such thing as too mean?

Person D: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?

Person E: Always hold a grudge?

~~~

Person A: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I’ve got a whole box of old positives at my house.

Person B: You’re an American treasure.

~~~

Person A: Something’s off.

Person B: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Person A: No, but that’s funny.

~~~

Person A: When I was married, you know what Person B often said to me?

Person C: Please stop sleeping with other people?

~~~

Person A: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

~~~

Person A: Oh look who got laid last night.

Person B: That’s right chumps, missionary accomplished!

~~~

Person A: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.

Person B: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

~~~

Person A: If it’s any consolation, they got me here on a very misleading text message.

Person B: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.

~~~

Person A: I am not a whore, and, not that I’ve done the math, but, if I were, I’d be the super classy kind that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.

~~~

Person A: Don’t preach to me about romance, Person B. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

~~~

Person A: Ow!

Person B: What’s wrong?

Person A: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.

Person B: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

~~~

Person A: Would you like your pizza cut into six or eight slices, Person B?

Person B: Oh just six, I don’t think I could eat eight.

~~~

Person A: Breathe, just breathe.

Person B: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

Person C: Awww, that never bothered you before.

~~~

Person A: If we lose, you’re out of the will.

Person B: I was in the will?

~~~

Person A: *pulls back the curtain while Person B is showering*

Person A: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

~~~

Person B: This totally sucks, man.

Person A: This is horrible.

Person B: Yeah, I know, I mean look at today’s news.

Person A: No, it’s not that, it’s Person C.

Person A: It’s just like, I can’t get them out of my head and every time I look at them I have this pains in my chest, and I just know it’s their fault, that bitch!

~~~

Person A: Person B, is that my mug you’re drinking out of?

Person B: No, it’s mine.

Person A: It… looks just like the one I have…

Person B: You don’t have one like this anymore.

~~~

Person A: Forgive me Father, for I have sinny-sin-sinned.

[flatlineforest]

Sneaky Recruits (Hanzo/Genji / Gabe Reyes)

In another timeline, Hanzo and Genji are recruited into Blackwatch by Jesse McCree and Gabriel Reyes. They board the ship to Blackwatch headquarters and immediately get up to some trouble regarding the thick as hell Blackwatch commander.

Warnings: Dubious consent, drugging, somnophilia, rape/noncon elements, piercings, anal fingering, anal sex, thigh fucking, cuckolding, rimming, facials, creampies, cum kink, moderate humiliation.

Wordcount: 3709

Read on AO3 Here. Originally posted on 12/26/2017

It had been surprisingly easy to recruit the Shimada heirs after the death of their father. Blackwatch had given them time to grieve, and for the tensions to rise as Sojiro was no longer around to protect Genji from the critical gaze of the clan elders. It was during the rise of the tension between the two brothers that Gabriel had sent in McCree - able to approach Genji and explain what, precisely, Blackwatch was and how it could help save the two brothers from the pressures of the clan. Genji was particularly amicable to abandoning the clan and well...Hanzo was stressed and loved his brother enough to agree to follow suit.

Gabriel was a bit smug about how easy it was to get the brothers to join them - Morrison had complained about the growing clan for months and told Gabriel that the only way to stop its growth was to raid and imprison as many of its leaders as possible. Instead, it had only taken a month long sting with McCree to leave the clan without its rightful heirs. He looked up from his coffee as they entered the ship, and grinned as he got a good look at their new recruits. Genji was laughing and smiling with McCree - which is a good start.

“Hey. Normally, I’d give you a whole welcome speech, but it’s been a long day for us all. Just hang around until we get to the Headquarters,” Gabe instructed, not bothering to get up from his comfortable seat in his couch. “It’s a long flight there, so the two of you can take room 330 down the hall to the left. Feel free to spend your time as you will.”

Genji looked over his new commander and grinned to himself. He lead Hanzo over to a couch in the far corner of the transport ship’s lobby, waving McCree off where the cowboy was looking to join them. “Look at him- Commander Sexy. Aren’t you glad that I dragged you into this?” He leaned against his older brother, hoping for endearing and managing to drag a smile from his brother’s apprehensive face.

“I can agree...It seems our new commander is no slob after all.” Hanzo’s cheeks blushed as he raked his eyes over the commander’s exposed thighs and calves. “He must not skip leg day...unlike some people I happen to know.”

Genji sat up, scandalized. “I’ll have you know that I do three sets of twenty squats every day! My ass and thighs are impeccable-” As Gabriel rose from his seat and passed them, his protests died in his throat. “Anija...please tell me you saw how his ass jiggled.” Genji turned back to his brother and was glad the other had just the same stunned, horny look on his face. He was about to make another lewd comment when a brilliant idea came to him. He looked around to make sure that the room was empty and did the briefest of checks for cameras before pulling a box out of his pocket and scurrying over to the couch where the commander had been sitting.

He looked back at his brother’s bewildered face before tossing in a few pinches of an unidentified powder. He returned to his place on the couch and at his brother’s questioning look, explained, “Sleeping pills, a few different kinds. He should be out cold for most of the night...If you’re willing to join me, I think we could have lots of fun with our new Commander, don’t you?”

Hanzo didn’t bother to look scandalized, his lust apparent. “I think that is perhaps your best idea today, Genji.” He sat back in his seat, arm wrapped around his little brother - about as publicly affectionate as Hanzo ever allowed himself to be.

Gabriel returned to the couch, and downed his coffee with a grimace. For a second, Genji thought they were going to be caught - that the commander would notice the subtle, salty taste of the drugs they had slipped him, but Gabriel seemed to be more frustrated that his coffee had gone to room temperature. The Shimada brothers continued to wait it out, whispering their plans for the commander between the two of them.

Ten minutes after Gabriel’s return, he began to yawn. He began to look at the clock often, as if wondering how he could be so tired so early. Twenty minutes after that, Gabriel finally informed them about his retirement to his room for the evening, grumbling about how long of a day he had. He then reminded them of their room number, and told them that if they need him for anything, his room number was 303.

They gave it another twenty minutes and then made their way to the commander’s bedroom. They didn’t pass anyone in the hallway, and thanked their lucky stars that Reyes’ door wasn’t locked. It seemed like the commander was rather trusting despite the presence of their new recruits. In the center of a king sized bed laid the commander, wearing naught but a form fitting pair of boxer briefs.

Collectively, they drooled over the heavy length of Reyes’ cock against his thigh. Whatever plans they had fell by wayside at the sight of that thick dick awaiting them. Genji, ever adventurous, made the first move. He climbed onto the bed and situated himself straddling one of Reyes’ thighs. He peeled back the boxer briefs slowly and marveled at the cock laying ripe against one of those godly, muscled thighs. He ran his fingers against it from base to tip, marveling at its beauty as if it had been sculpted. When he wrapped his fingers around it and started stroking, he chanced a glance at Reyes’ face and was pleased to find the commander had not stirred whatsoever.

Hanzo came over much more slowly - worried that Genji’s drugs would not work although they were the same kind used in Shimada honeypot missions. But he gained confidence as Genji gets bolder - laying down and adjusting until his lips were against Reyes’ hardening shaft. Hanzo took a seat on the commander’s other side, and ran his finger tips against the swell of Reyes’ thigh. “He’s so big,” he whispered, reverent.

Soon enough, he followed his brother’s lead and laid on the bed. Genji had his eyes closed, pleasantly sucking at the tip of Reyes’ cock while Hanzo started to stroke the length of it with one hand, the other feeling the weight of those large balls in his hand.

“I want to roll him over,” Hanzo told his brother. “Don’t you want to play with his ass? I want to fuck him.”

Genji looked over at him, a contentedness on his face that Hanzo had only seen previously when Genji had dicked him down and came inside. He seemed reluctant to give up his treat, so Hanzo decided to get creative with his entertainment. He climbed up on the bed, straddling Reyes’ waist and shyly placing his hands down against his plush pecs. His cock twitched in his pants as he discovered the small piercings the commander was sporting on his nipples - wondering what kind of man their new boss truly was. “What a slut,” he whispered, pulling on a nipple ring a bit meanly and looking back at Reyes’ face.

The man was so beautiful, sleeping peacefully while the brothers took their fill of his built body. Hanzo couldn’t hold himself back much longer, moving to the side in order to shimmy off his pants and briefs. After straddling the commander once more, he used one hand to push the commander’s chest together and the other stroking at his cock. Hanzo was overcome at how beautiful he was like that, and all of his previous apprehension melted away in light of his boner for the commander.

He fisted his cock fast, moaning quietly as he thought of Reyes holding his own pecs together so Hanzo could fuck his cock through the valley between them. His hand sped up - his oncoming orgasm quickened by the taboo acts the two brothers were committing.

---

Reyes stirred from his sleep slowly - his body felt heavier than usual, the way it usually was when his body was working to metabolize the medicines Angela gave him back on base. The first sensations he felt was a wet warmth against the head of his dick and a pressure against his chest. It was curious, and for a second he was wondering if he was having an odd dream.

Sensations came to him slowly in that half dream - the feeling of a tongue swiping across the underside of his dick, of a finger rounding against one of his nipple piercings. What a pleasant dream.

But then he heard the moans. Starting out slowly but picking up in pace in the minutes passing. He was almost certain that it wasn’t a dream at this point and his eyes opened slowly -

Just in time sight of none other than Hanzo Shimada jerking himself off over the commander’s chest and face. It seemed that the Shimada was close, and Reyes looked up at him with a small smirk as the pieces started to fall together.

“Having fun there, Shimada?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as his hands came up to grip the younger man’s waist. He smirked at the shocked look on Hanzo’s face, and the stuttering of the hips between his hands. He was about to open his mouth to taunt the young man once more when he felt the first rope of Hanzo’s cum land on his face. He grinned and closed his eyes, loathe to get any cum them. He squeezed Hanzo’s hips and waited for the man to sit back to open his eyes. He wiped off the cum on one of his fingers and licked it off absentmindedly.

“Look at you two...I can’t believe I recruited two naughty little sluts.” He pulled Hanzo off of his hips to get a good look at where Genji was sucking his cock. “What’d you put in my coffee then? I can’t believe you two amateurs would think a roofie would keep a super soldier out for long. I would have thought you two did your homework before signing the paperwork.” He placed one hand on the back of Genji’s head and pushed, encouraging the younger Shimada to take more than just the thick tip. “Yes, there you go, Genji,” he sighed as the boy easily dipped his head to take well over half of the impressive length.

He turned back to Hanzo, where the elder Shimada had a flushed face and a bitten lip, obviously scandalized at having been caught in the act. “The pretty Hanzo Shimada...Jerking off over my chest...What sight to wake up to.” He brought the heir to close, connecting their lips in a filthy kiss.

Five minutes later saw Gabe with two fingers into the younger Shimada’s ass, spreading him open steadily while the said man drooled. Behind him, Hanzo was groping at Gabriel’s generous ass and thighs. He wanted nothing more than to see Reyes spread on his cock, but now settled on shoving his face between those gorgeous ass cheeks. If someone had told him a month ago that he would be sitting in the Commander of Blackwatch’s room, eating his ass, he would had slaughtered them on the spot. His tongue rubbed in circles around the pouty rim of Reyes’ ass, pleased by the low groan it drew from his commander.

Genji was the happy recipient of filthy kisses from Gabriel, kissing back eagerly while he was prepared to take that length he had drooled over so liberally earlier. He wrapped his arms around Reyes’ neck as they made out, pushing his hips back against those thick fingers rhythmically.

Reyes growled into their kiss, mirroring Genji’s movements by pressing his thick hips back into Hanzo’s face.  He was really glad to take advantage of this situation the Brothers had opened for him. It allowed him to skip the awkward flirting phase and go right into fucking the brothers just as he had wanted to the first time he opened their files. What pretty boys they were and, from McCree’s extensive intelligence, brother fuckers.

Eventually, it seemed as if Genji was more than ready to take Gabe’s cock. He was all but begging for it with his body, squirming and positioning himself so that Gabriel could get the best views of his lithe, beautiful body. Reyes couldn’t help himself any longer, and finally swatted Hanzo away long enough to lube his own cock up and begin to press it against Genji’s crack in smooth, easy grinds of his hips.

Gabe looked back at Hanzo and motioned to the other end of the bed. “Go sit there and jerk yourself off like a good boy while I fuck your baby brother, okay?” He knew that in the past, Hanzo had proven himself to be exceptionally possessive of his baby brother and yet the elder Shimada simply nodded and did as told.

How Reyes had been blessed with such good, obedient sluts was beyond his comprehension but he didn’t dwell on it long as he finally pressed the head of his cock directly against Genji’s twitching hole. He fucked his hips forward in a smooth easy thrust, groaning as the boy’s velvety insides wrapped around his own considerable length. He was more than glad that they had taken the time to prep this little twink as the boy hardly complains even as Reyes humps and shimmies his hips forward in order to jam as much of his cock into the boys guts as possible.

Reyes doesn’t bother to be sweet to the boy though, lets him know exactly what kind of affair this is as fucks his hips deep in delicious, self-indulgent thrusts. He may not have started this encounter with these incestuous brothers, but he was certainly going to reap the rewards for all of their hard work. His hands came to press down at Genji’s hips, keeping him in place as he forced the younger Shimada to just take it , which it seems that he was not quite used to doing.

Moans spilled out of Genji, occasionally punctuated by higher pitch hums or gasps as Reyes thrusted in at a particularly delicious angle. There was nothing more satisfying than this - taking his fill from a young, willing body with the eyes of another watching their every move. Yet, rather than being frustrated at Reyes taking his willing lover, Hanzo’s lust was evident in his face as he tugged on his short cock. Who would have thought - the spoiled heir apparent of the largest yakuza clan in Japan was getting off on watching his little brother and lover get fucked by another man.

It was all just so delicious - had Reyes grinding his hips deeper into the younger Shimada as pleasure started to build in his gut. He wondered if it was how taboo the situation was or as a result of having Genji drooling over his cock for so long, but it didn’t seem like the Commander was going to last much longer. He didn’t bother to pull out and save Genji the trouble later - choosing rather to swap out his long, smooth thrusts for short, rude thrusts of his hips into Genji’s ass.

Whatever he was doing was working for them both it seemed, as Genji’s back arched sharply and his cock pumped out wave after wave of sticky, thick cum onto his stomach. Now there was an orgasm Reyes could appreciate - particularly in comparison to Hanzo’s meager performance earlier into this encounter. Reyes reached down, capturing Genji’s cock in his hand to stroke it and prolong the Shimada’s orgasm that much longer.

It was with Genji’s hips, squirming and jerking this way and that to avoid the overstimulation, and Hanzo moaning quietly into his fist off to Reyes’ left that had him finally cumming. His hips stuttered in their pounding pace for a moment, savoring the feeling of Genji’s butter-soft ass wrapped around his cock, before he was grinding his hips forward to get the most out of his orgasm. He could see the realization on Genji’s face as Gabe’s cum flowed into him, hot and sticky and plentiful. SEP had its lows, but the benefits were great and numerous. They stayed like that for a minute as Gabe continued to hump his hips forward until his cum was leaking out of Genji around his cock.

After what seemed like ages, Reyes pulled his hips back and chose to lay down onto the bed next to Genji. The boy curled into him immediately, resting his head on Gabe’s pec comfortably. Not that Reyes particularly minded - he was more than used to one of his recruits coming to him for some comfort and was more than happy to provide them a firm pillow for the night. He was getting ready to beckon Hanzo over when he discovered that the young man had already moved to the end of the bed, hovering between Reyes’ thighs.

“What do you want, kid?” He grumbled, looking up from his comfy position laying in the bed with a warm body at his side.

“...Can I…? I want...I want to fuck your thighs,” Hanzo said, in pieces over the course of a minute. He hadn’t exactly pegged the heir as shy, but it seemed as if Hanzo was refusing to make eye contact now.

“Oh? Yeah, sure, kid. As long as you do all the work,” Gabe responded, his arm wrapped around Genji starting to rub mindless circles against his back. He allowed Hanzo to lift his thighs up and push them together, and he had to say, Hanzo’s short cock did look nice pressed between the swells of his own thighs.

He didn’t comment as Hanzo started thrusting his hips, even with the sting of sensitivity hit with each press of the head of Hanzo’s cock against his balls. He was enraptured by the sight of Hanzo’s concentration - as if he was determined to fuck his thighs just right. He could appreciate Hanzo’s dedication, that much was certain, especially as the other started to press his hips forward in practiced, textbook thrusts.

“Has he ever fucked anyone?” He asked Genji, licking his lips as he watched Hanzo chase his orgasm.

Genji laughed next to him, as if it was a topic he was quite familiar with. “He’s never topped. Always wants to top, but he’s so easy to bully and tease into bending over for me.” He reached out, tracing his fingers across Gabe’s chest in random shapes and letters.

Hanzo didn’t put in his two cents, groaning low in his chest as his hips started to hump faster. His carefully practiced thrusts gave way to needier, greedy humps between Gabe’s legs that had the head of his dick pushing at the seam of his balls with each inward thrust. It was enough to have Gabe’s cock stirring in interest and he decided to clench his thighs ever so slightly, increasing the pressure around Hanzo’s adorable cock.

The effect was immediate; Hanzo’s hands gripped at Gabe’s calves tightly as he moaned - wet and filthy as his orgasm swept him up in a wave of pleasure. Rope after rope of cum landed across Gabe’s cock, striping it in white and even a few fat drops landing directly onto his piercings. That certainly had Gabe’s cock twitching, though he was sure that the boys would need a break.

In the meantime, he swiped his fingers through Hanzo’s cum and popped them in his mouth, sampling his cum once more. It was certainly not an unpleasant taste, and made him think about what it would be like to show Hanzo some of the best pleasures about topping. He wrapped an arm around the other Shimada brother and brought him close to lay his head against Gabe’s chest, too.

He was certainly going to take advantage of his new recruits sometime in the future. He was looking forward to getting to rub it in Jack’s face juuust how ready to join up and...serve the Shimada brothers really were.

[ruinedthatfriendship]

Let’s Ruin the Friendship

A/N: Don’t remember writing it, but rereading was certainly an adventure! In which Dimon are besties and also in love, and it’s extremely fluffy . 

Demi wasn’t even all that surprised anymore to come home to the lights already on. The key she’d once given Simon for a legitimate and temporary use in her first year as an X Factor judge had been one she’d never actually gotten back, and sometimes she swore he spent more time in her apartment than he did in his own home.

“What are you doing here?” she sighed, trying not to be irritated with him as she closed the door behind her and slid off her coat. Normally she would have welcomed his presence, but the entire day had already rubbed her the wrong way and she didn’t really feel up to dealing with anyone, even him.

Simon was in the living room, laid out on her couch like he belonged with a bundle of papers in his lap and his glasses on. She’d always liked him in those glasses, not that she’d ever tell him that. He glanced up at her and wrinkled his eyebrows slightly. “Not very welcoming, brat. I did order dinner, you know.”

Demi perked up slightly in spite of herself, moving into the kitchen to set down her handbag on the counter for the time being. “Thai?”

“Obviously,” Simon replied, returning to the documents on his lap.

Demi made her way into the living area, shoving unceremoniously at his sock-covered feet and reaching for the remote. “Oh, move over, old man,”

He huffed something unintelligible at her, but obliged, shuffling his contracts and then pulling his legs up long enough for her to sit before promptly depositing them back in her lap with a smirk.

Demi made a noise of exaggerated disgust and glared at him, pushing at his ankles until he gave in and rearranged himself to give her space.

“Oh, come on darling, I live here too,”

She reached for the remote and ignored him, flipping aimlessly through channels. “You do not. One of these days I’m going to take that key back.”

“You wouldn’t,” Simon returned triumphantly. “I bring you dinner.”

“I may not be as ridiculously rich as you are, but I think I can afford to buy my own takeout,” Demi said loftily, lifting her chin and pretending to be very interested in a commercial for In-N-Out.

“I have plenty of other qualities, darling.”

Demi held his serious gaze for a moment before cracking, and both of them burst into laughter, Simon not bothering to stifle it the way he did so often on TV. “You are awful,” she finally snorted, smiling brightly in his direction.

“Annoying,” he countered.

“Old.”

“Brat.”

“Grandpa!”

“Gobby.”

“Demanding, gray haired ass--”

“Irritating, unpredictable, moody--”

“I hate you!” Demi complained with no real malice in her voice, pausing suddenly at the sound of her doorbell.

Simon pointed to her door with a wink, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and throwing a pair of $20′s at her. “I bought you dinner.”

Rolling her eyes, Demi uncurled her legs and made her way to the door. “Yeah, but I still have to go get it.”

She smiled politely at the delivery guy, accepting the bags of food and telling him to keep the change. She was already laughing before she’d even gotten the door closed, trying to peer into the white plastic bags in her hands. “Simon, did you order the entire restaurant? What is in here?”

He gave her that preoccupied glance again when she walked back toward him, evidently back to focusing on his work, and shrugged. “You haven’t eaten much lately,” he offered casually, as if it was obvious.

Demi blinked, sitting down rather heavily on the couch and proceeding to stare at him. And you noticed? She wanted to say.

“What?” Simon glanced at her, pausing with his pen between his lips.

“Nothing,” Demi spat out in a hurry, looking down at the food in her lap and busying herself unwrapping it. Finding his usual pad thai near the top, she wordlessly handed it to him and sorted through the rest of the options to pick something to start with herself.

It had been three years since the day Demi had agreed to meet Simon at her apartment for a contract meeting, and slipped her spare key into his hand, sending him around to the back of her building to avoid paparazzi. Working together on the judging panel, their relationship had only solidified from that point, and Demi accepted somewhere around the start of her second season as a judge that she was probably never going to get that key back.

And now that she was back to working on her music full time and touring, and he was dealing with the rest of his reality shows, she’d briefly expected their relationship to fade. Instead, he seemed to exist almost perpetually in one of two places; airports and her couch. Of course, with her having been across the world on tour recently, she wasn’t sure how much time he’d really been spending here, but it wouldn’t surprise her if he was still lurking on her sofa while she was singing in Europe. Demi only really found it strange if she tried to think about it through her most objectively rational lens.

Her family certainly thought it was weird that she was spending so much of her time with a 50 year old man, and Dianna frequently fixed her with a questioning stare and asked her what was going on with him.

The best she could offer was a lame ‘He’s my friend, Mom’, which always made her feel stupid. She had no other explanation, though. No, he wasn’t taking advantage of her. No, they weren’t sleeping together. Unless you counted the handful of times a jetlagged Simon had passed out on her bed. No, nothing was going on.

She just… inexplicably trusted him more than anyone else. She’d rather sit on the couch and watch Netflix and bitch about his feet or head in her lap than go out with other friends. And if rationally she knew it was weird to cuddle up to a man who was neither family nor lover, that the secrecy of a completely innocent friendship only added another layer of strange, that the stray thoughts and dreams that crept in sometimes were decidedly not welcome, she didn’t let on.

Mostly she tried not to be rational.

“So,” Simon said, setting the black plastic bowl of his dinner on the floor beside them. “Are you going to tell me what was bothering you earlier, doll?”

Demi frowned absently, glancing at him briefly. She was still nibbling on her own meal, scrolling through options on Netflix with an expression of concentration. “Huh?”

“You were upset when you got home,” Simon said matter-of-factly, prompting a weird look from Demi.

She’d almost forgotten she’d been in a bad mood, too busy laughing and bantering around with Simon to bother thinking about it. And he hadn’t only erased the problem, but noticed in the first place and made a point to ask. Something fluttered in her chest, and she studiously ignored it, aware all the while that she was currently sharing a sofa with a man that, for all his flaws, was probably better than she deserved. 

“It was stupid,” she mumbled, glancing to her lap briefly and then back to the TV. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Demi,” he prompted softly.

“Oh come on, Simon,” she tried, “I’m always a grumpy brat, aren’t I?”

“Mm, annoying, yes.” He mused. “Brat, yes. Stressed and irritated? Not if I can help it,”

Demi softened at his words, and sighed, settling quickly on an old episode of House of Cards that was still at the top of her watchlist, probably Simon’s fault. “Phil thinks I should add a tour date,” she huffed. “I don’t want to, and he’s pissing me off because he doesn’t want to listen.”

“Add a date where?” Simon murmured. He was still looking down at the paperwork in his lap, but Demi wasn’t fooled. She knew he was still listening to her.

Demi shrugged. “At the end, after France.” She was currently enjoying a break after the last few concerts in the US for the tour, before flying out to France for a single show in September. “He wants to book a concert in Brazil. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Simon looked up at her, fixing her with a look on his face that said he was in manager mode. “Why not?”

Demi pouted. “I don’t want to go to Brazil.”

Simon rolled his eyes. “Demi!” When she just sat there petulantly, he sighed, trying to be patient. “What’s wrong with Brazil?”

Phil wants to book it over your birthday and I want to be here but I can’t use that argument because it would be weird. Demi said none of that, opting instead to inarticulately blink at him. “Um.”

“Well obviously he’s not listening to you,” Simon snorted. “You’re objecting to an entire country and you don’t have a reason?”

“It’s in October,” Demi offered lamely. “I thought I’d be done by then.”

“You were supposed to be in Madrid in October, before that one got cancelled,” Simon pointed out. “I’m not surprised Phil wants to add something back, all things considered.”

“Yeah but the Madrid one wasn’t--” Demi started to protest, then cut herself off. “Never mind.”

“Wasn’t what?”

“Never mind, I said.”

“Wasn't what, brat?” he pushed gently, standing with his stack of contracts and moving them to her kitchen table before returning, this time throwing an arm around her shoulders.

Demi sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. They didn’t do this. They were always together and they had no boundaries and they were always doing something or other that really pushed the limits of what defined a normal friendship. But nothing was said, no confessions made. Telling him she wanted to skip Brazil for the sake of his birthday would cross a line she couldn’t take back.

“I was gonna do something with Maddie,” she mumbled, a cop-out. “The Spain date didn’t conflict with it.”

Simon briefly rested his head on top of hers, hugging her a little tighter. “I’m sure your sister will understand, doll. You can just reschedule,”

Demi sighed, snuggling closer and putting her feet over his lap this time. “I guess,” 

“You won’t be missing much anyway,” he tried for levity, as always playing the cocky, I’m-Simon-Cowell card. “I’ll be in London for most of the month, anyway.”

She lifted her head to peer at him, studying his face. “You will?”

Simon just nodded, briefly gesturing to the stack of papers on her table. “Taping for BGT. Though I expect my mum will be happy; I’ll have no excuse not to see her for my birthday.” He grimaced theatrically.

Demi wasn’t sure if she was supposed to feel better or not, but at least it wouldn’t be her fault if they missed each other now. Still, however you looked at it, she wouldn’t be with him, a concept that bothered her rather more than she was willing to admit. She was quietly contemplative, staring blankly ahead of her at the TV while Simon actually watched the episode, tucked into his side and inhaling the familiar scent of cigarettes and mint and, this time, her laundry detergent. The ever present, well-worn white shirt must have been one of the ones he’d left here.

She could deny everything to her mother all she wanted, and technically it was the truth. They were friends, and they weren’t sleeping together, and they both frequently went on dates with other people that somehow always ended up with the two of them in her apartment, complaining about it. But none of that negated the fact that Demi had been pretty sure of for a while now, though she was loathe to admit it even to herself.

She took the opportunity briefly to study Simon’s face. He was unaware of her, absorbed in Netflix and rather adorably focused on the episode. God help me, she thought, I’m falling in love with you.

It was a sobering thought, rather than a happy one, because she knew Simon would never feel the same way about her. He was the sort of man who went after what he wanted, and if he’d ever wanted her he would have done something about it a long time ago. He wouldn’t be hanging around to platonically snuggle with her and generally make a nuisance of himself.

She watched Simon lean back and let Netflix autoplay the next episode, smiling a bit to herself while her eyelids drooped. She was going to get hurt and she knew it. But for now, she was tired and Simon made for a comfortable pillow. She’d worry about the rest of it all later.

***

Demi blinked slowly in the darkness, sleepily half-awake and not quite sure what was going on. She was lying stretched out on the couch, she figured, squashed up against the back of the couch and half-lying on Simon’s chest. The room was completely dark, illuminated only by the dim grey glow of her TV still showing the red Netflix symbol, and she figured it was probably somewhere between three and four am.

She shifted slightly, letting her eyes fall shut again and feeling Simon’s breathing stutter slightly in its rhythm, his hand moving just enough against her back to tell her he was awake too. And she probably should have gotten up then, whispered an apology and slunk off to her bedroom--where he’d probably just follow anyway, stealing the other half of her blankets--but it was nice, and she wanted to be selfish just this once. Odd as it may sound given all of their usual closeness, she’d never actually gotten to sleep like this, and Demi didn’t really feel like giving up the opportunity.

She’d just pretend she was still asleep. She’d fall back to sleep anyway soon enough, she figured. And of course as soon as she thought that, she’d cursed herself to lie restlessly awake in the dark, all of her unbidden thoughts about Simon deciding to race around her skull again.

Demi held in the annoyed huff she wanted to give, still committed to feigning sleep, and tried to find a positive in the situation. At least she’d actually remember the experience of sleeping in Simon’s arms, just this once.

She was fairly certain Simon had fallen back to sleep by now, and she was doing her best to do the same, when his quiet whisper split the silence. “Demi?”

Keeping her breathing even and wondering why she was bothering, Demi said nothing, continuing her Oscar-worthy performance of being asleep and dead to the world. She felt Simon adjust his arms around her, holding her tighter, and he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her hair.

“Damn it, brat.” he sighed, and Demi wondered if she was squishing him terribly. She was just about to give up her game and sit up when he spoke again, his voice so low she could barely make out the words, even as close as she was to him.

“I love you,”

Demi’s heart skipped several beats, then started racing. She could barely breathe, and she was almost sure he could feel her heartbeat against his own rib cage, but if he knew she was listening, he gave no indication. “I love you,” he repeated in a whisper, sighing softly as if the admission came at great personal cost.

There was a sensation like a balloon swelling up in her chest, and she was starting to smile to herself into his shirt, no longer able to resist responding. Smiling brightly in the darkness and now very much wide awake, Demi popped her head up to prop her chin on his chest, feeling him jump slightly beneath her at her sudden movement.

“You do?”

His hand tightened reflexively on her hip, and she could feel his heart racing under her wrist. “Doll, I--”

“It’s okay, Simon,” she whispered softly, biting her lip and wishing desperately she could see his face better.

“Demi--” he started, sounding suddenly very tired and very defeated. Like he thought he’d just destroyed everything.

“I love you too,” she blurted, wanting so desperately to take that note out of his voice. “It’s okay, Simon… I’m in love with you,” she whispered hesitantly.

Simon went very still, and then she felt his arm leave her back and reach up somewhere behind his head. A switch clicked, and then the lamp on the table beside the couch flared, light momentarily blinding both of them as their eyes adjusted.

Demi blinked rapidly, trying to focus her vision. And the first thing she saw was Simon, tired and rumpled with his hair sticking up and the slight imprint of the hand she’d extended above her in sleep on his jawline, vulnerability and hope flashing across his face.

Propping herself up cutely with her elbows on either side of his chest, she met his eyes with a little smile and a shrug, biting her lip and waiting for a reaction.

A pause that seemed to last an eternity while his brain caught up, and then all at once he yanked her the last few inches up toward him while she squeaked, and crashed his lips against hers.

Demi moaned involuntarily into the kiss, parting her lips for his tongue to trace her mouth and sliding one of her hands up into his hair, her entire body coming alive under his touch.

No one had ever kissed her like this, no one had ever made her feel like this, and she knew all at once that for all her diligent sobriety, this would be one addiction she’d never get over.

Simon sat up with her on his lap, his hands sliding under the loose top she was wearing, breaking the kiss to look at her with a question in his eyes. Demi answered it for him by hastily yanking the shirt over her head and discarding it, leaving her in just a lacy bralette.

And as she reached for the hem of Simon’s own trademark t-shirt, Demi spared one last thought for Phil and the tour. It was getting rescheduled, or better yet, never booked, because she’d be on a flight to London. Transatlantic obligations be damned, there was no way she was going to miss this.

[kassandra-lorelei]

I mean, obviously you have to do #4 for Niles and CC for the one line prompts

Of course, my friend! Here we are.

@missbabcocks1 @holomoriarty

He’d been holding the cards for so long, they were digginginto his hands. He thought it was ridiculous, the fact that he was feeling sonervous about this. There wouldn’t be anything to it, really. Well, apart fromthe fact that he was just about to give a toast to more guests than he thoughthe’d ever host in his life, in front of his wife, his closest friends, and themembers of their collective families who had deigned (or been able to affordthe flight and hotel costs) to show up.

C.C.’s mother hadn’t come to their first anniversary dinner.He could see Stewart and Noel out at one of the tables, laughing and playingwith four-month-old Charity-Charlotte, enjoying not having B.B. around to spoilthe occasion. It was making his wife relax more, too, not having the greatestsource of stress in her life (that title hadn’t belonged to him since they’dbeen together) present.

Now if only he could join her in her state of ease!

He was staring at his speech again when he heard her –somehow above all the noise of the celebration going on around them – sigh inwhat was probably more frustration than she was giving away.

“I heard you practicing at home. You have this down to afine point, Niles. It’ll all be fine,” she told him, leaning in close so shecould keep her voice low. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

What was the worst that could happen? Stumbling over words.Humiliation. Laughter. Flustering. Attempts to straighten the table. Knockingover water. Water hits microphone provided for speech. Microphone shorts.Someone gets a jolt of electricity and flies backwards from the table. That wasit, that was the worst that could happen!

But if he said any of that, he’d be humiliated immediatelywhen C.C. burst out laughing at how ridiculous it all was. Deep down he knew itwould be deserved, too. Stage fright was such a bastard…

He must have still looked unsure, because his wife reachedout with one hand and gently squeezed his arm.

“I’ll be right here, okay?” her eyes were full of concern,despite the gentle smile. “No one’s gonna make fun of you, apart from me. ButI’ll do that in private.”

She rarely displayed that kind of emotion to anyone, and itmade him feel more secure, oddly enough. At least one person in the room wasbehind him here, even if the rest hadn’t heard his speech yet. Besides, he knewthem all, more or less – B.B. being absent was actually something of ablessing, in that regard, because out of all of C.C.’s relatives she would havebeen the hardest to crack and the quickest to judge if he slipped up.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He had what he wanted to read,and more than enough love and support, so maybe he just had to do it…

He was going to do it.

So, catching the eyes of Fran and Maxwell as they chattedamiably with his parents, Niles tapped on his champagne glass to gathereveryone’s attention.

He rose to his feet, feeling his heart start to speed up ashe noticed just how many pairs of eyes were looking at him. Since when had theyinvited so many people? He turned to look at C.C., who was giving him her mostencouraging look in return.

He really did love her. That was what they were there for –to celebrate the love they shared, and the promise they had made to each other.Who cared about laughter if he messed up? He’d keep going anyway, for as longas he got to tell this captive audience just how much he loved his wife.

He was going to do it. He was going to do it for her. And hedidn’t need the stupid cards to do it, either.

So he put said cards away, cleared his throat, picked up themicrophone the venue had provided, and began.

“Ladies and gentlemen, beloved friends, if I might have amoment of your time,” he said, waiting for their perfect silence before hestarted up again. “More than twenty years ago, I answered the doorbell to theSheffield mansion, expecting another candidate for the open secretarialposition. Little did I know, I was going to meet far more than that. I met thewoman who was to change my life. C.C.. And almost from the moment of lockingeyes on each other, we began a routine. One of insults, and pranks, zingingeach other whenever we could and making-fun-slash-causing-chaos wherever wefound it.”

He heard a smattering of laughter at that, coming from thedirection of the Sheffields. They knew better than anyone what he was talkingabout. It wasn’t the unpleasant laughter he’d been dreading, and he turned asmile towards C.C. as he lay a hand gently on her back.

“We thought we were enemies. But every night, secretly tomyself, I thought “How can I hate someone so much, yet love them even more?”.And, thankfully, after so long, I managed to finally declare how I really felt,by proposing. And proposing. And proposing some more. And finally, after I’dmade myself look like enough of a fool, I’d worn C.C. down enough that sheagreed to marry me. Our little girl Charity-Charlotte followed soon after, andlife has both never been the same and never been more perfect since.”

The story of the proposals had encouraged more laughter, butit was alright. It really wasn’t as bad as his mind had conjured up. This wasgoing just fine, even if remembering it all was bringing tears to his eyes.

He picked up his glass, beaming at the woman he’d given hisheart and soul to, “So if you could all please be upstanding to help me make atoast; to my wonderful wife. My partner in crime, the thorn in my side, and thelove of my life. We’ve survived this first year together, and here’s to manymore. It’s going to be a great adventure, and I can’t wait. Cheers.”

The guests echoed his sentiment, raising their own glasses,“Cheers!”

Niles then put his glass down, feeling rather pleased withhimself. But before he could sit, he felt the mic being taken from his hands.

C.C. didn’t speak into the device. She just switched it offand laid it on the table, before standing up to pull him into a kiss.

Niles thought he heard the crowd “aww” and applaud. But hewas mostly somewhere else, and that place contained only him and his beloved wife.And as he pulled away, his arms still around her, he was delighted to see herwearing a smirk, just before she pulled him back into an embrace.

“Told you it would be alright,” she muttered in his ear.

He chuckled under his breath, and hugged her back tightly, “Isuppose you did. Hm, you were right. Whoever thought?”

She had been right. He knew she had, and that she often was.But he was having a little bit of fun with her – if there was any day for it,it was their anniversary.

He felt her turn, and whisper with her lips right againsther ear.

“If you want to see me wearing nothing but this expressiontonight, you might wanna pick your words carefully, Hazel.”

Well, that changed everything.

“Sorry, love; old dog, new tricks and all that,” he gave hera discreet kiss on the neck, and was pleased when he felt her shiver. “But Ihave a lifetime to figure out that my wife will always be right.”

It was C.C.’s turn to chuckle, and she pulled away again alittle to cup his cheek, “That you do, Butler Boy, that you do.”

He rested his forehead against hers momentarily, beforepecking her once more on the lips and sitting down again. She sat with him,and they continued to enjoy the meal that had been set out for them.

Not that they weren’t hurrying just a little bit.

The sooner they finished, the sooner they could thank alltheir guests for coming, get home, and put their daughter to bed.

And then Niles could see just how beautiful C.C.’s smirk wason her, when paired with absolutely nothing else.

[cosmosogler]

hello friends. i didn’t sleep well last night at all. i’ve felt sick and dizzy and on edge all day.

got an email from my graduate advisor. it says “please come see me asap.” i’m guessing he wants to talk about my classical mechanics grade. but at least i have the less unacceptable quantum grade to show for it... have i proved i can do it if i keep working hard?

probably not.

i dreamed about adventure time. in the dream i recognized it was because the show is ending and i don’t want it to end. 

i think the business man showed up again. i think he played a more prominent role in this one. maybe that’s why i can’t remember it very well at all. i can never remember any interactions i have with that guy and it’s kind of intimidating. 

but, of course, the intimidation is all in my head. the meaning is all in my head. because he is all in my head, because my dreams are all in my head.

he feels like some kind of separate thing though. i don’t like how he’s been lurking and i don’t like that every time i talk to him i can’t remember anything about it except that i MAYBE interacted with him and the strong feeling that i don’t like him or the way he thinks very much.

kinda wish he’d do something already instead of showing up in the background constantly. but maybe he has done something and i just don’t remember it.

and no, he’s not “this man.” that guy is spooky but i’ve never dreamed about him. this guy has a blurry face and angular features and i haven’t been able to remember any good looks i’ve gotten at him.

anyway i showered and drove over to linda and david’s house. they made waffles again. we talked for a long time. i admitted that my grades weren’t very good and told them about my struggles to make my disability accommodations work and the amount of misinformation that gets spread around the physics department. they talked about their careers as teachers. we talked a little bit about politics but i wanted to talk more about my worries about what kind of information i’m getting and what kind of story that tells. the “political divide” has become such that it feels like i’m living on a different planet than people who don’t share my ideology and i wonder if facebook algorithms and google and all that have put me into my own echo box without my noticing. 

the conversation came about because we were talking about our very special racist guest back in october, and the financial repercussions of hosting a “free speech�� event that my school had no interest in hosting.

they also showed me a really funny chain email video they’d received about a “millennial” interviewing for a job. i felt, like, my teeth grind in anger as i watched it? i think i was offended? have i ever even felt offended before??

they said it was really well acted and it was satire and all that and then while we were chatting on the couch i noticed linda and david falling back on those caricatures to describe the young people in their lives. but i felt comfortable challenging them on that a little bit? i mean yeah i agree people can be surprisingly unreasonable, but i also think, they can be surprisingly reasonable? and all these weird new trends come from a place of wanting things to change for everyone rather than selfish laziness.

or at least, a lot of them do. that’s my understanding anyway.

then it was literally like 3 pm and i got a call from gramma about going to the arcade with my cousin for dinner. so i had to drive home real quick. my card didn’t work at the gas station and i called mom about it and she got all huffy about not being able to transfer money to my card. i said “no, i called to ask if i could get cash back later.” 

she said “oh.”

i got to talk to an actual gas station attendant for the first time in my life! that was exciting. and by exciting i mean not boring.

i’m starting to realize that my criteria for “not boring” are WAY lower than most other people’s. like i can keep myself entertained in an empty concrete room on the floor for hours just by trying to remember songs or videos. 

maybe it’s because i spent so much time grounded with nothing to do as a kid? getting kicked out of the house and hanging out outside for several hours a day every summer in the 120+ degree heat? not being able to handle physical activity?

laying in a hospital bed for days with only one movie to watch, and then laying around in the recliner for weeks after that while i waited for my arm to start working again?

maybe my life was very different to other kids’. 

anyway, gramma and grampa picked me up and we went to dave and busters. i played some arcade games with my brother and cousin. he made a rape joke and when i expressed disapproval he didn’t make a similar comment again. maybe he just didn’t see another opportunity. maybe he understood i didn’t like it and stopped saying it for the next hour. i dunno.

the food made me REALLY sick for several hours. my brother said his food wasn’t very good either. i felt like garbage the whole ride home. my brother expressed that he likes having me home, when i told him my flight is tomorrow. he took the opportunity to complain about our sister using the tv so i said “well she lives here too. if she didn’t watch the tv then it wouldn’t get watched.” 

he said he wanted it in his room but mom wouldn’t let him, which was not what i was saying, but he moved off of being angry about our sister, so it’sssss a win.

when i got home i played some logic puzzles and drew out more comic stuff. the ideas looked better in my head. i didn’t like how the first one came out, but i think i talked about that quite a bit on the picture i did post. i’ll have to beef up the dialogue and work on my storyboarding there. and maybe write smaller.

i am trying to hit a balance between “this guy is genuinely hurting and feels bad literally all the time” and “that doesn’t make him not an asshole.” i’d like to take a sort of story direction with that. by the time the games take place we see that his entourage does (for the most part) genuinely like him. so i figure over time he would have to re-teach himself to consider other people’s feelings, and he would manage it well enough to keep these guys on board for his “blow up the universe” plan.

while i was trying to get a design down for queen jaydes in that comic there i looked up all the backstory stuff i never found when i played through the game myself. it’s actually... almost exactly what i was planning anyway?? so i’m kind of relieved i only have to make some minor changes to my timeline.

the game plays up the flashbacks as a real “romeo and juliet” quick-flame romance that escalates really quickly but i wanted to portray something a little more laid-back and, like... healthy? like sure they bring each other goofy little gifts all the time and blumiere really throws his life into this relationship (he needs a Project at all times and learning to be kind is not a bad thing to devote himself to) but they also communicate about issues and bring up boundaries? i dunno. i wanted it to be something that you’d really believe affected both of them so much that this is the driving motivator behind the villain of the game.

ehh i could talk about it for a long time. i think about it in the shower and in the car when i don’t have anything else to do and i have to keep myself entertained.

see? i was going somewhere with that long aside earlier!!!

i had a long... well, i talked at oz at length about why i don’t mention to my classmates that i draw, brought on by something i said to linda and david earlier. i think it’s mostly because i feel guilty when i talk about my art. like i only have so much skill in my life and if i devote it to my art and pokemon and music and cinematography and other hobbies then it gets sucked out of physics. and physics is important to me, but it’s hard to express myself through physics. it’s easier to stuff myself into little blue demon men to express my emotions. and i have a lot of emotions.

i know that my physics skills suffer when i go a long time without practicing. that’s... true. i have so much anxiety about it that when i take a break i end up taking a LONG break. too long. it’s so stressful... i’d be so much better at it if i wasn’t so nervous all the time. i know this. 

maybe the next step there is to be comfortable with my hobbies and how they have a useful place in my life alongside physics, without replacing it.

mom always went on in high school about how i was drawing “INSTEAD” of doing schoolwork. maybe that’s where i got the idea from. i dunno.

something good that happened today.......... ehhhh. i need to do some stuff before bed and it’s 11:45. i visited with everyone that i had the opportunity to, this break. i got my ipod set up and more or less squared away. i have to figure out how to remotely deposit a check still, and i need to pack, but that won’t take too long, and it’s not hard.

so i guess i’ll grab my ipod and get to work there. i’ll have to jot down some notes for the comic to make sure i don’t forget what i wanna do. the flight isn’t going to be a good time to work on it considering how self conscious i am... i can catch up on the adventure zone instead. 

[staqqoverflo]

ZERO

Companion short story for the album MEMƟRY GΛRDEN, released in September 2016.

I let out a reluctant sigh as I stepped outside and let the university lab doors close behind me. It should have been an afternoon for a carefree attitude. I was leaving work early for once, and while a bleak overcast was draped above everything like usual, it was, for once, a smog-less day in Shinagawa. But I couldn’t rest easy, even on a day as nice as this.

I hadn’t seen my girlfriend in weeks.

I hadn’t heard her voice or caught sight of her since the end of summer. I couldn’t forget that face of hers—I missed it so—but nevertheless, I hadn’t seen it in ages. However, she wasn’t dead. Far from it, in fact—I had been receiving messages from her all this time, telling me of her mystic location.

She told me that she’d escaped to an online game, and that she wanted me to join her.

It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. Beyond the idea of foregoing the real world and staying logged into a video game, what about her life could even have been traumatic enough to drive her into doing something like this?

I loved her like crazy, but it was stupid. It didn’t make any sense. Our relationship was remarkably normal, maybe even plain. We both met doing research at the university lab. We got to know each other, went on cheesy dates, and supported each other emotionally and physically like any regular young couple would. And then she disappeared.

To be frank, she hadn’t even chosen a game that was particularly good. It was Sacred Grove Online. A high fantasy virtual reality MMORPG from a few years ago, when Neuronet technology was still new and the bugs were still being ironed out. It was a system launch title. The game has been holding its own all this time, I’m sure, but there are plenty of better looking, better performing games out there now. I’m not sure where she saw the appeal in something so clunky. Perhaps it was the only one she had, although I didn’t even know that she owned a VR terminal before all of this.

On my walk back home, I took my phone out of my pocket and decided I would try one more time, maybe the last time, at attempting to talk some sense into her. I’d done so at least a dozen times by now, and it had become practically mechanical, but I was never going to give up. I’m not sure what I expected this time around, but I received the typical response.

“Forget about the real world. Give up on it like I have. You’ll never be alone again, trust me. Escape with me. I love you.”

I let out a deep sigh as I turned onto a busy street. What could I even do at this point? Even though it’d been 27 days since I’d seen her by now, I still couldn’t believe that someone as normal as her was doing something like this. Doing this to me. What had I done to deserve this? There were no kinks in our relationship, and I thought we truly understood each other. It was beyond bizarre. Perhaps I lacked understanding, I thought. She’s being fucking crazy, but maybe I need to give her a chance? After all, I loved her.

So instead of heading home, I turned around and made my way towards the station, where I would be on my way to do something extremely brash. I caught a train to the Chiyoda ward and headed for the nearest electronics outlet. I purchased a VR terminal, the necessary peripherals, and dealt with a confused clerk when I asked for a download code for an older, out-of-style game before lugging all of that onto the train back to Shinagawa.

It was pouring rain when I got off the train and began my walk home. Admittedly, I was feeling pretty indignant by this point, but I felt like I had to get the chance to see where she was coming from. Maybe I could talk some sense into her by “meeting” her in this video game.

Completely drenched and slightly pissed-off, I slammed the front door behind me and made my way to my bedroom, immediately throwing everything I was carrying onto the floor. I gave up video games ages ago, but I would go through the trouble of figuring the technology out all over again if it gave me the chance to “see” my girlfriend, I decided.

Having unboxed everything and hooked it all up together, I took my shoes off and laid on my bed, taking a deep breath. I took my glasses off and replaced them with the glossy immersion-enabling ones of the VR terminal, sliding them over my weak eyes carefully while I fastened the cups of my headphones over my ears. I closed my eyes and the dream began.

I hastily made my way through the system’s first time startup screens, simply sticking with the default options for everything before launching Sacred Grove Online. At the title screen, I registered for an account and logged in, created a character, and within a single powerful swoop was transported immediately into the game’s world.

Having nearly forgotten how amazingly immersive this technology was—even for a game that was a little dated—my heart was trembling when I spawned into the starting township. Even for such an older game, it all felt so real. The town was alive with villagers and other were players running around. Children of the village were chasing after their runaway pets. A fresh pine scent was carried with the mountain breeze that blew past my body. It was… beautiful.

But I wasn’t here to play the game. I wasn’t going to learn of the stories of all of these villagers, I wasn’t going to chat up any fellow players, and I wasn’t going to start the tutorial quests or decide on which class to play. I wasn’t going to explore this world. I was going to find my girlfriend.

She was the type of person to keep the same username on every service, so I knew I could find her. I used the game’s commands to directly message her character. Immediately responding to me, she was overjoyed but said that she was in a high-level area that I wouldn’t be able to reach without sinking a good few hours into the game. She said that she couldn’t leave, so she would mail my character an item that would let me teleport to her location.

Sighing, I invoked my mailbox window. Ignoring her cutesy message, I opened the attachment and closed the mailbox window. I then opened my inventory and used the teleportation item.

Immediately, my surroundings changed. Gone were the homely echoes of the villagers and their livestock. I was now in what appeared to be a clearing in a dark forest. The desolate sky in this area was dark and cloudy, just like it was in the real world that day. At my feet and all around me in this creepy, silent place were flowers and tree roots. Just what the hell was this place?

And crawling out of some dark trees in front of me was a female player. I had no doubt in the world who it was, although her character was customized to be beyond bizarre, having known her (or who she was before, I should say).

Her character’s hair, beautiful and long, was a brilliant green. Her shoulders exposed, she wore a gray dress that evoked the idea that her character was something along the lines of a mage. To account for its strangeness, what was on her face was probably a cash shop item or something, but her eyes were covered with a solid black censor bar that prevented me from seeing what they looked like.

It was overwhelming. My character having remained in the starting outfit, it was as if I were standing in the presence of a goddess. Regardless, I was elated to finally “see” her again.

“Akane… I can’t believe it. I thought I would never see you again.”

“You came after all,” she said without a hint of feeling. “Finally… It’s like a dream come true.”

I looked around at the flowers and grass. “What is this place?”

“It’s just a little grove outside of a forest dungeon. It doesn’t really have a name, but I like to call it the ‘memory garden.’ I like to sit here and think about things sometimes. Pretty, isn’t it?” She smiled. “I missed you so much.”

I kept my resolve, staying true to my mission.

“Akane, you can’t stay here. This is a video game. Log out right now… I’m worried about you.”

“…”

“Why are you doing this? What made you want to do this?” I couldn’t hold back, even if I wanted to. Being able to speak to her again was too powerful for me to take. “How long have you been logged in? Are you even still eating or leaving your house? Or even your room?”

“…all of that is irrelevant. This is my new home. This synthetic world is perfect. We can stay here forever, just you and me.”

I balled my fists, unable to contain myself. “No, that’s bullshit. This is a video game. You’re going to die if you stay logged in forever.”

“…I’m okay with that.”

I couldn’t help but feel my voice growing weak. To hear her say these things in front of me, rather than through text messages, was breaking my heart.

“How could you do this to me? Don’t you care about your family anymore? I don’t get it…”

“The real world is cruel, Ryota. Day-to-day, we deal with people we loathe and struggle with vague anxieties that are never really resolved. Here, those things don’t exist. We can surround ourselves only with people and things we like. We can build up little walls. We can immerse ourselves in the beauty of nature. We can go on adventures.”

“Akane—“

“We can also do all of the things we would do in the real world, like cook, eat, and relax. But the most beautiful thing of all is that we feel no pain here.”

“Akane, I still don’t understand. You can just play the game like normal if you’re stressed. But was something going on in your life that made you want to escape here?” I gulped. “…did I hurt you somehow?”

She smiled, her arms behind her back. She was beautiful.

“No. You didn’t hurt me.”

“Then why—“

“It’s simple. This world is just beautiful to me. It’s synthetic—completely fake. Designed by people just like us. Yet it’s more genuine than the real world because it’s trying harder to achieve something. To achieve mimicry. It’s perfect… it’s all I need, and I’m never going to leave.” The words that were coming out of her mouth were borderline evangelical. “I’m going to stay here forever.”

“No, that’s impossible. You’re going to starve in the real world if you never log out.”

“I think you’re missing my point, Ryota.”

“Akane—“

“This is my new home.”

With nothing left to say, I logged out of the game out of impulse right on the spot, leaving her behind. I sat up and peeled the immersion glasses and headphones right off of my head before throwing them across the room in frustration.

For the rest of the day, all I could think about was how disappointed I felt. Not even meeting her face to face in-game was enough for her to change her mind. I missed her so. I missed who she was before all of this, and I cherished the memories that we shared. I was in disbelief at what she’d become.

After plenty of time to play the events over and over again in my head, I came home from work the next and sat on my bed, feeling slightly disappointed.

I picked up the immersion glasses again and slid them over my eyes before putting my headphones back on just like I did the day before.

I really missed her…

Maybe she was right.

Listen to MEMƟRY GΛRDEN: https://staqqoverflo.bandcamp.com/album/mem-ry-g-rden