#can’t see the tv cuz she’s getting up there In age ig

[lovemesomefanfic846]

This chonk love watching one piece too but she always has to go nose to the tv tho 😂

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #305

“you want me to be yours, well then you’ve got to be mine, & if you want a good girl, then goodbye”

Do you call the ice cream topping "jimmies" or "sprinkles"? They're "sprinkles" down here. What music are you listening to? Ha, I just turned on music before starting this. "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment is on rn. If you go to school (HS or college) does your school have a rival? N/A Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? Yeah; I was born in a Roman Catholic family. My mom's mom would've probably had a heart attack if us kids weren't. At family gatherings, are you more likely to hang out with the younger or older relatives? I mean, I'd go for those my age or older, generally. I'd hang out with kids though if they wanted me to. Considering you current health, how long do you think you will live? With my CURRENT health, probably not even 80. Do you have anything in your room that would be 'weird' to others? Posters, yeah. Have you ever done geocaching? No, but it'd be cool if my body could actually handle taking a single goddamn step. What was the last game you won? Maybe Uno with my niece? I generally let her win, but occasionally I'm "lucky" to TRY to be more convincing, lol. I think she knows I let her, though. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Do you enjoy playing Monopoly? Why or why not? No, because I don't like board games, especially any that involve math. Is there a doorknocker on your front door? No. Do 'laugh tracks' on TV shows annoy you? They're so normal that I don't even notice them, really. Do people often mistake you for other ethnicities? If so, what do you usually get? No, I'm pretty obviously white. Has anyone famous ever attended your school? Who? I won't say his name for the sake of not connecting dots, but a well-known football player attended my high school. Have you ever had to attend an event that occurred on your birthday? Ha, my 16th birthday landed on the Super Bowl... I was at Jason's that night, and just to be "part of the family," we watched it with everyone else that came over. I was so bored and uninterested, but that's my own fault, really. I could have said something, but this was only a month into our relationship so I was too uncomfortable to speak up. What do you think makes a girl a slut? Do you believe that label is thrown around far more often than it should be? And finally, do you think it's unfair that mostly only women receive that label? I don't give a flying fuck how many people a girl is sexually involved with so long as she is safe and open and honest with her partners. I'm not a fan of the word and don't think anyone should be called it. Do you think it's bad to have sex at 15 or younger? I don't think it's smart, really. It's just too young to risk pregnancy. Yes, abortion is an option, but like... a 15 y/o girl should never be faced with that dilemma. I'ma be real tho, I don't think it's a "good" idea until you're at least 18, aaaand I don't know any non-virgin who waited that long. Just try your best to wait, ig. Favorite love song at the moment? Love songs never sit well with me anymore. I mean I can enjoy them, absolutely, I just... have a lot of bitterness. Trying to pick a favorite when you feel like that is like trying to pick the best-looking rotten apple of the bunch. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? I've done that already, and it was great but also scary in a massively homophobic state. Ever paid for sex? No. During thunderstorms, how does your pet react? Neither have a unique reaction; they're unfazed. What internet browser do you use? Google Chrome. Do you like eggnog? Noooo no no. How often do you see your mother? Every day, because I live with her. Do you like croutons in your salad? No, I really don't like the texture difference. Who did you last play truth or dare with? I don't know. Have you ever brewed your own mead, wine, beer or soda? No. Have you had to make any changes in your life lately? If so, what kind of changes? ugh What's the earliest popular thing you can remember from your childhood? Ummm. I mean, probably like Barney or Elmo? Do you prefer practicality or fashionability when it comes to clothes? Well, really neither. I'm the type that wears tank tops in snow, flipflops year-round, sweatpants in summer... so I don't really dress with practicality. I don't care what's "fashionable," so. Comfort pretty much reigns over my wardrobe. Which kinds of berries grow in the wild where you live? There are these little red ones that grow in little groups and somewhat resemble raspberries. I can't remember if they're edible, though... Oh, and muscadine grapes (I had to look up if they were berries lmao) can be found here, too. They're yummy. Beautyberries are another. Have you ever made an article of clothing yourself? If so, what was it? No. Do you go to arcades? If so, what's your go-to game at one? Even before Covid, I never really went to them. I enjoy them, though. I guess my favorite is maybe air hockey? When's the last time you had an alcoholic beverage? What was it? At the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday. It was some kind of sangria... Maybe strawberry and peach? Idr, but it was good. What has been the most enjoyable job you've had? You assume I've had a job I actually enjoyed. How about the least enjoyable job? Well, I barely lasted two hours in a dairy, soooo... When's the last time you had to carefully plan how you used your time? You're asking the wroooong person, 'cuz my life is never busy enough for that. Who do you usually say hello or good morning to first? My snake Venus, usually. Well, that is if her head is peeking out of her hide or is just fully out. Do you ever chat about your favorite video games with your friends? I don't really have gamer friends anymore, so not really. What do you hope you grow out of? Being so goddamn dependent. What movie made you cry the most? I can't say for sure considering it's easy for movies to make me cry, lmao. Maybe Titanic. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Seeing a container of dog food in the far back behind the Christmas tree one year. It's how I learned I was finally gettinga dog (Teddy). What brings you the most joy in life? Probably my cat lmao. What's a hobby you would like to try out? I wanna get back into video editing, I just. Don't have the motivation for it anymore. As with most things. What sort of a kiss do you count as the first kiss? On the lips and with mutual intention. What was the last event you attended? Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's, ig. How about the last event you organized? Me? Organizing an event? What's the biggest insect you've ever seen? In the wild, probably like... a rhinocerous beetle or something. NO NO WAIT. I remember at least once in my life seeing a fucking GINORMOUS moth on the ground one morning. I don't know what kind it was, but jc it was huge. How about the biggest spider? Oh yikes, I'll never forget this: an orb weaver wandering across the floor of our childhood van and under the passenger's seat. Never saw it again. I was afraid to let my feet stay on the floor for a looong time, haha. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? I'd never ask certain "why" questions, like "why did you get an abortion?" or something like that. I can think of valid situations to ask most things, even controversial matters, but no one should ever have to justify something like that. "Why don't you have kids?" is another. That one gets to me. Having children is not an advancement or milestone in everyone's life, and hell, you never know if the woman's had like five miscarriages or something. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? Why Mom didn't raise her eldest daughter, at least for her whole life. Katie's childhood is a big mystery to me, and I want to know more, but I know the topic is very upsetting to Mom, so I'm not about to make her explain it. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? Saying "worst/best" makes this question confusing... but I'm guessing you mean the best thing to me that they wouldn't have approved of? I really didn't do a lot of things that would fit that description. I can only think of a certain intimate occasion where things happened where they probably shouldn't have. If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Ugh, I don't because of the holes being too stretched out from wearing heavy earrings too long. I still haven't gotten to putting proper gauges in so it looks less stupid. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Maybe like, $10 or something. How about a slot machine? I've never played one. Do like playing bingo? Sure, it's all right. What small, everyday thing makes you really happy? Cuddling with my cat. Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one's your favorite? Yeah, I do. I can't really pick a favorite, though... Is there a substance you avoid at all costs? If so, what is it and why? I think in a past survey I mentioned my aversion to beer because of the association it has with my dad. I'd never be able to get a sip down. Not that I really want to anyway though, it stinks. What you would you absolutely hate living next door to? Any really busy location or travel hubs, like a train station. My childhood home was near a railroad track, and it sucked, so I can only imagine a station. What would you love to live next door to? A waterfall, uggghhhh. In the woods too to hear plenty of frogs and toads and crickets... What gives you nostalgia? It is very easy to make me nostalgic. The littlest things can do it. Hearing about/seeing/playing childhood video games, like Spyro, is a biggie. Which reminds me how damn badly I wanna play the Reignited trilogy, fuck. I just don't have the proper console. Which language do you think is the most complicated to learn? Well English is supposedly the hardest objectively, but as a native English speaker, I can't say anything about that. In my experience, Latin was like fucking impossible. Is there a place that you might call your second home? I guess Dad's house, but it's not like I'm there a lot. I feel comfortable there, though. How do you imagine your later life to look like? I DO NOT want to think about this. I fucking dread the thought. What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? A butcher. There is absolutely no motherfucking way I ever could do it, even if it kept me off the streets. What's the weirdest building in your city? *shrug* How do you keep in touch with friends usually? Facebook. Do you recognize friends'/family's vehicles by sound? Not anymore. Dad had an old car that was very easy to recognize with its shitty muffler, but he hasn't had that car in years upon years. I used to be able to recognize Jason's old car too because of sound, but primarily because he drove way too fast down our path that when I heard a car zooming over rocks, I knew it was him. What's something new you've just recently learned? It was actually a topic of recent discussion that I may have high-functioning Asperger's. Very, very unusual to learn later in life, but apparently Mom's seen the warning signs in some things since childhood, like my extreme pickiness with textures, my tendency to knead and play with my hands in situations of discomfort, my social ineptitude, hyperfixations, it actually running in our family (which I didn't know beforehand), among a lot of other things. We're not really digging into it though because it just doesn't matter; there's obviously no magic treatment for autism, and me being in therapy and having a psychiatrist to handle my meds is enough. If you were in Harry Potter, which house would you be in? Apparently I'm on the Hufflepuff/Gryffindor line when I took a survey a long time ago. Are you nagged about being on the computer too much? Not anymore, at least on the average day. Mom's accepted it by now. Dad's joked about it before though and I know others have certain opinions about it. Based on your personality, what animal do you think you'd be? Maybe a deer. Shy, reclusive, and always on alert. Have you ever been in a hot tub? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head at the moment? I have "my boy" by Billie Eilish on right now because it's stuck in my head. What's your father's middle name? John. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? Yikes, good question. I think it was The Lion King remake. Have you ever vandalized? No. What's a pet you've always wanted? Most pets I want I've had at some point or another... I guess I'll say a ferret, though I've really only wanted one in concept. I could never keep up with their maintenance, but by god they are the cutest fucking things ever. Do you like mice? I love mice! What's your favorite t-shirt? My "equal in our bones" Cloak shirt. :''') The design is so beautiful and just my style in general, plus I live to support anything Fischfuck takes part in. Did you/will you get a car for your 16th birthday? I'm 25 and still have never had my own car lmaoooo. What's your favorite tomato variety? I generally don't like tomatoes themselves, but rather products made with them, like ketchup. If I'm in the mood though, I do like tomato sandwiches with mayo and bacon; I only ever enjoyed them though if they were fresh right from an old friend's garden. Which well-known person's death shocked you the most, if any? I think Chester Bennington's was the biggest surprise. Rest easy, you legend. What's the craziest color you'd dye your hair? More like what crazy color WOULDN'T I dye it... What was the longest train ride you've been on? I've never been on one. What's the coolest hobby one of your friends has? uhhhhh idk Have you ever played in a stack of hay bales? No. If you could learn any skill, which would you like to learn? Ha, cooking. How do you like your steak? Medium well.

[saltypetai]

Tag game

I was tagged by @mangplushie​

last

drink: water 💦💦

call: Sasa a week ago but I tried calling Anna today but she was at work :(

text: It was with Anna lol “:(” and the previous text “:((((( I miss u” lol I’m a clingy bitch

song you listened to: Downtown by Anitta and J Balvin

time you cried: around 15 minutes ago

have you ever

dated someone twice? no

kissed someone and regretted it? no

been cheated on? no

lost someone special? yes

been depressed? yes

gotten drunk and thrown up? no

favourite colours: violet, lemon yellow, mustard yellow, walnut brown

in the last year have you

made any new friends? yes

fallen out of love? yeah with bts i’m sorry

laughed so hard you cried? yes

found out somebody was talking about you? Yeah my friends made a gc organising my surprise bday party I  s o b b e d also madina said she was talking with a group of people who she said she could not say the names of but they were talking about how much they loved me and my hort: hurts

met someone who changed you? Anna changed my life honestly

found out who your friends were? ig lol

kissed someone in your fb friends list? platonically

general

how many people from your fb friends list do you know in real life? honestly I can’t remember most of the people I met in my school in Malaysia JSJHGDJ I see all these names and I’m like huh????? 

do you have any pets? my stepmum has three cats

do you want to change your middle name? never it’s my muslim name and also my mum chose it and it’s the prettiest name ever

what did you do for your birthday last year? I just stayed at my grandparents’ house but my aunt surprised me with a homemade cake and I cried

what time did you wake up today? 10:57 am 😔👊

what were you doing last night at midnight? watching buzzfeed unsolved

what’s something you can’t wait for? to go to uni and to see my brother next year

what are you listening to right now? the waves crashing into the walls of the river bank

have you ever talked to someone called tom? not that I recall

something that gets on your nerves: l**** r** lmao not a fan of her racist comments and how obsessed she is with us. We’re not friends!!!

most visited websites: instagram, twitter, youtube, vlive

hair colour: black (technically dark brown)

short or long hair: i wanna have short hair but I don’t think it’ll suit me

crush on anyone? yeah Donghyuck and Ria

what do you like about yourself? I like my smile and how I’m quite positive (despite me crying all the time lmfao). I like to think I’m resilient

want any piercings? yeah I kinda want a helix

blood type? A+ like my grades hopefully

nicknames? Nidhi calls me Els it’s cute. My family also has some nicknames for me

relationship status: dating Donghyuck obvs

zodiac sign: cancer sun, cancer moon, scorpio rising lmao i’m a weak water bitch

pronouns: she/her

favourite show: I don’t watch much tv but I like Black-ish. Fave kdrama has to be Goblin

tattoos: I’m a halal girl

righty or lefty? righty

ever had surgery? nope

piercings? basic lobe

sports? watersports in general i.e. sailing, kayaking and windsurfing. I also do some nugu martial arts called Tang Soo Do and I got my yellow belt last week

vacation? I’m on holiday right now. My next trip will be to a care home to volunteer. My last trip was Turkey. I would like to go to Japan/Korea with my brother and fam and also Egypt.

trainers? idk i don’t really care about shoes I just get whatever’s comfy since i’m flat footed

eating? nope, I ate pasta though just now for lunch though

drinking? water

about to watch? The Unit, Lilo and Stitch cuz it’s iconic, Jumping Girl and Saving Mrs Go Bong-shil which is long overdue as a Luna stan

waiting for? my school to give me my damn predicted results

get married? No, marriage scares me plus I’m already married to Lee Jong Suk

career? doctor!

which is better

hugs or kisses? I like both but no one kisses me anymore since sophia isn’t around :( HAND HOLDING though... that’s really nice I love that shit. I love holding Anna’s hand

lips or eyes? eyes

taller or shorter? I say I don’t mind but secretly I love back hugs and people resting their heads on mine. I love resting my head on other people’s shoulders when sitting side by side but everyone is too short for me. But I also like Nadia clinging on to me and resting her head on my shoulder so... yeah idk

younger or older? I really don’t care as long as the age gap isn’t too large

nice arms or stomach? stomach. round tummies are cute and so are abs. all tummies are cute

hookups or relationships? I don’t really think I’m ready for a relationship at this stage of my life since I’m always studying or crying over Donghyuck so uh hookup

troublemaker or hesitant? what does this mean????? hesitant i guess??

have you ever

kissed a stranger? no

drank hard liquor? no as I said I’m a halal girl

lost your glasses? yeah it was so sad I never found it in the end

turned someone down? several times, I turned down a marriage proposal once lmfao

had sex on a first date? no

broken someone’s heart? I hope not

had your heart broken? ya big time

been arrested? no

cried when someone has died? yes

fallen for a friend? oof yeah it hurt like a bitch

do you believe in

yourself? yup but sometimes I have my moments

miracles? ye

love at first sight? yeah why not

santa? no

kiss on the first date? yes

angels? yeah

other

best friend’s name: I have a lot of people who I consider as my best friends but anna and sasa deserve an honourable mention

eye colour: brown

favourite movie? s-shrek...

favourite actor? Lee Jong Suk and Kim Go-Eun even though I’ve only watched two of her dramas

I tag: @jaehyooonnssh @fremione @iheartunic0rn @metoo-3  but you odn’t have to do it if you don’t want to 💕

[sweet-sugar-sunsets]

100 questions

I was tagged by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold and @puzzlingsnark aka my faves

1. What is your nickname? well when I was younger it was little red, but it was later revoked after I went through a growth spurt. my friends jokingly call me anuswrath because it sounds similar to my last name. my niece calls me mimi

2. How old are you? I am regretfully fifteen

3. What is your birth month? Septemper

4. What is your zodiac sign? Virgo. I don’t know that sun and moon crap

5. What is your favorite color? yellow

6. What’s your lucky number? 23

7. Do you have any pets? yup I have a golden lab named Liza Jane

8. Where are you from? Louisiana

9. How tall are you? 5’ 6"

10. What shoe size are you? 9 1/2

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? probably like 10

12. Are you random? yes absolutely

13. Last person you texted? my best friend (he’s trying to set me up with his ex)

14. Are you psychic in any way? yeah when I was little I had dreams that could tell the future occasionally and i used to talk to ghosts (i was weird)

15. Last TV show watched? i just finished the newest fosters episode

16. Favorite movie? Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, Clueless

17. Favorite show from your childhood? suite life of zach and cody (i still occasionally watch the reruns)

18. Do you want children? no unless my spouse does

19. Do you want a church wedding? no.

20. What is your religion? nuthin

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? yeah I broke my neck in fourth grade in karate class (I’m fine now just had to wear a neck brace for a year and sacrifice my pride) when I was really little (k-2nd grade) I had really bad asthma and had a couple surguries (none of them helped)

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? no, which is surprising becaue i do a lot of illegal stuff (dont arrest me)

23. How is life? meh

24. Baths or showers? both, showers when I’m short on time, baths when I want to treat myself

25. What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing socks

26. Have you ever been famous? when I was little I did local commercial acting but other than that nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? yeah lowkey im an attention whore

28. What type of music do you like? alternative and indie, some rock

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? yeah with my friends last weekend

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? I sleep with two behind my head, three stuffed between my bed and the wall and four at my feet

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I toss and turn all night

32. How big is your house? pretty decent four bedrooms three bathrooms two stories

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? fried egg and black coffe during school, whatever’s available during the summer

34. Have you ever left the country? unfortunately no

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes! I did archery all the time in my yard. until I almost impaled my neighbor’s dog

36. Do you like anyone? I’m currently in love with my best friend but he is currently setting me up with his aforementioned ex so that’s not gonna go anywhere

37. Favorite swear word? dick, bullshit, any variation of fuck

38. When do you fall asleep? 1, 3 if i dont force myself to go to sleep

39. Do you have any scars? I had rocks embedded in my knees as a kid so i have those scars (you can also feel the rocks its kinda cool they never took them out) I crushed my ankle in a golfcart accident last year so I have those too

40. Sexual orientation? bi for now but i like girls more. the only guy i’ve liked in a while is my best friend

41. Are you a good liar? absolutely

42. What languages would you like to learn? latin and spanish (both of which i’m learning now)

43. Top 10 songs? oof ok: run for cover, the killers; float on, modest mouse; i can’t quit, the vaccines; ribs, lorde; cigarette daydreams, cage the elephant; youth, glass animals; miracle mile, cold war kids; saturday sun, vance joy; jackie and wilson, hozier, sleep on the floor, the lumineers

44. Do you like your country? no but im not gonna get into it on here because i am young and dont have fully formed opinions yet

45. Do you have friends from the web? yes and i love them more than my real friends sometimes

46. What is your personality type? creative, lazy, rebellious

47. Hogwarts House? ravenclaw

48. Can you curl your tongue? no im such a disapointment

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? lowkey murphey from the 100, bc i come of as an asshole, never want to do anything, and the only contribution i ever make is snarky comments and bullshit jokes

50. Left or right handed? right because im basic

51. Are you scared of spiders? yes and all bugs

52. Favorite food? chinese food. i live laugh love chinese food

53. Favorite foreign food? ^^^^

54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy, you cant see the floor in my room

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? walk aroung at night. ugh the dream

56. What color underwear? pink and gray

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? an hour sometimes more when i procrastinate

58. Do you have much of an ego? no, but i do have self-esteem issues galore

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i suck until its tiny then i bite

60. Do you talk to yourself? yes. i am insane

61. Do you sing to yourself? yes. loudly. all the time. sometimes in public

62. Are you a good singer? semi. i sing backups in my band

63. Biggest Fears? all my friends secretly hate me

64. Are you a gossip? no gossip pisses me off. unless it’s celebrity gossip

65. Are you a grammar nazi? no, but i need one

66. Do you have long or short hair? I have hair to my shoulders

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? yeah i had to memorize them for the world geo final

68. Favorite school subject? english and art

69. Extrovert or Introvert? extrovert!

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? no but i want to 

71. What makes you nervous? when people dont talk to me for a long time

72. Are you scared of the dark? a little my house is haunted so

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? only if necessary

74. Are you ticklish? sometimes, which is weird

75. Have you ever started a rumor? yeah probably

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? nope!

77. Have you ever drank underage? yep last night

78. Have you ever done drugs? well the closest i’ve come is getting second hand high after making out with a girl who had just done a bunch of edibles at a party. i cant smoke or vape cuz of the asthma thing

79. What do you fantasize about? honestly 90% sex

80. How many piercings do you have? two in my ears

81. Can you roll your R’s? yes its the only thing im good at

82. How fast can you type? idk pretty fast but i have to go back and correct a lot

83. How fast can you run? i dont run

84. What color is your hair? red brown

85. What color are your eyes? shit brown

86. What are you allergic to? cats and milk

87. Do you keep a journal? i keep a poetry jounal and an astronomy journal but thats it

88. Are you depressed about anything? im just depressed in general

89. Do you like your age? no i feel to young

90. What makes you angry? my mother and my father, this one homophobic bitch that all my friends love

91. Do you like your own name? yeah ig. i wish it was more interesting tho

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? a gluestick in 1st grade dont judge

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? girl. boys have cooties

94. What talents do you have? I’m a writer, i play piano, guitar, ukelele, drums, cello, and trumpet

95. Sun or moon? moon

96. How did you get your name? my mom liked it what a loser

97. Are you religious? no i am very anti-religion

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? no but i need to

99. Color of your bedspread? turquoise sheets white comforter 

100. Color of your room? periwinkle walls with a black white and gold color scheme

tagging: @a-girl-or-maybe-a-ghost @bitchin-promises @mikeweezers @jane-el-hopper @nancykali

[bitch-sexy-blog1]

Day 1 - Angie

Monday 8:48 am:

Text from Dom:  “Hola!!! I miss you!  So curious how you be, wanna catch up? <3”

I wake up to this text.  3 mosquito bites on my forehead.  Some IG memes.  Snapchats.  Along with a slight depression because I am still funemployed and I hate not working.  Oh, and to texts from my other ex-boyfriend Jake who reached out because his step-father passed away this week.  

*Mind tries to swallow these feels*

9:50 am: Sends Mila a screenshot of Quinn’s text

9:53 am: Mila:  Oh my god.  Are you going to respond???????

*falls back asleep until MUFUGGING 4 PM* WHO THE FUK AM I.

(Dom is a well-known (I guess you could say famous) DJ ex-boyfriend of mine whom I asked to never reach out to me again back in January after the X-Games.  That was my breaking point of our “trying to be friends after dating” situation.  He is the reason I have an unordinarily negative outlook on love, relationships, and men.  And yet I still compare every guy I date to him.  How obsessed we were with each other, how we communicated, how we loved...I can’t put into words how it felt.  The best part was that it was mutual each step of the way.  But as time went on, we both changed.  Unfortunately for me, he turned into a lying, egotistical fuckboi.  He was a world-class manipulator and controlled my every move like I was his personal puppet.   He was also the *only* person who could make me cum in 30 seconds.  Yay for me.  After I found out about his sleezy nature and about all the PLUR baby girls he was banging, I could no longer cum.  Not even once.  That was it.  The flame burnt out.  Sexually, mentally, emotionally.  We tried and tried and tried and it just wouldn’t happen.  You can still try to love when your mind’s not in it, but when your heart’s not in it too, that’s when it’s game over.  Time to move on.  I appreciate the times we had because now I know how to love deeply.  I also knew what it felt like to be vulnerable, for once.  

Year 1 and 2 he showed me what true love was like.

Year 3 he tried to have an open relationship with me (with it being open on his end only, mind you) and consistently told me it’s natural for men to have multiple partners because they crave “sexual diversity”.  Even though he thought I was perfect, he still wanted a taste of something different.  He would tell me “if you don’t want any guy to cheat on you, you’re gonna have to get with a plumber.  Because guys in this day in age, if they’re successful, attractive, and are charming, they are going to have multiple partners.  That’s how it should be.”  He told me, “I become even more addicted to YOU, because of how free you allow me to be.”  

Pshhh, keep that shit away from me mayne.

Here is where my negative outlook on men began to cultivate.

Anyway, so I wanted him out of my life.  I felt like he was toxic to my mind and I just didn’t want him to flood my thoughts anymore.  I politely asked him to stop reaching out weekly and he freaked out.   He tried to text me four or five times after, and my short and disinterested responses seemed to have worked.  I haven’t heard from him since April.  And it’s been great!

However, it’s hard to escape his entirety.  My friends in Atlanta are all obsessed with his music.  He developed a friendship with my brother.  I still even enjoy his music.  His old body guard still messages me.  I can’t escape Stage Name, but I can still try and escape Dom.).

This text was like woah for me this morn.  

Rewind two days:

I had just talked with the guy I’ve been seeing Quinn (who is also in the music industry) about how Dom and I don’t talk anymore.  He seemed curious about it and said, “Doesn’t he live like 20 min away from you?”  I said yes, but trust me, he doesn’t know I live out here.  And I asked him not to reach out to me a while ago.  He hasn’t.  It’s fine.  Don’t worry.”   This happened Saturday night as I lay in his lap, listening to Deadmau5, looking up at the sky (and his cute ass face).  He was asking me all sorts of questions.  How many relationships have you been in, how long were they, etc.  

Soon after, we all packed into Dan’s car heading to an after-party at Mike’s loft.  As I sat on Quinn, knee to face and ass in lap, he bit my ear, kissed my neck, kept turning my head to make out with me...all in front of everyone.  After we had talked about how he doesn’t need to worry about Quinn, how I’m a good girl that doesn’t just hook up, and how I’m a deep girl with deep feelings, he seemed to have no worries at all.  I liked that.  He couldn’t stop hugging me.  I noticed that I didn’t care about PDA at all either, which is unusual for me.  PDA?  Me?  Naw…..well, I suppose yes with him :)

We hung out on the rooftop overlooking the ATL skyline.  Soon we both got tired and head to bed.  Of course, we ended up having sex even though the bedroom had missing walls (I get that it’s a loft but like, what about privacy?  Y tho).  Pretty sure people heard us.  But, again…..we didn’t care.   

Sunday:

*Alarm goes off* 12:10pm

Angie:  Shit.  Need to get up.  Guess I’ll get up and see how I look.  *Looks in mirror*  Okay, not too bad.  We can make this work.  A little foundation, brushed teeth, and change of clothes and I’ll be Gucci.

12:15pm: *whispers to Quinn*

Yo...we have to leave in 15.  You don’t have to come, but just letting you know.

Quinn: Wakes up all squinty-eyed.  Curly-headed mess.  Zombie walks to the bathroom and moans.  Walks back to bed.

I sift through my tiny gym bag of necessities (thanks to Skiplagged even tho I love you Skiplagged) and find a cute, chill outfit to wear.  In 10 min, I look gewwwwwd.  Slight bags underneath my eyes but that’s inevitable after a festival weekend.

I tap on Quinn to let him know I’m calling the Lyft.  He gets up, stares at the wall for 30 seconds (I look at him like ...da fuq.  He spaces off randomly and IDK if he’s really not thinking about anything or what but...I curious about you sometimes dawg) but then he finally makes moves and puts his shoes on, and says “Mmmk.  I’m ready.”

We meet my mom and brother for lunch.  My mom is being extra cute and Asian and Quinn just giggles and stares at me the whole time.  I keep putting food on his plate to eat (Korean style) and he just kept eating.  What a doll.  He tried everything too.  What. A. Doll.  Even though he’s the second guy I’ve ever introduced to my family, my fam kept it pretty chill.  I think they know not to get attached to any guy I talk to now ‘til it’s reaaaal.  But still.  Props to my fam.  They were very welcoming and adorable.  I knew he really liked them.

My brother drops us off at the loft again and we pass out for a couple hours.  <Insert last quiet attempt at sex here>   We did ittttttt.  Both came too.  Tehe.  I still couldn’t get on top because the bed squeaked too much, but still.  Fun times.

We both head to the airport and he’s constantly touching and grabbing me along the way.  He asked, “You think we’ll have time to dine?” I smiled, “Dine?...Yes, I think so.”  And he smiled back.

We “dined” at Grindhouse Killer Burgers and just chatted.  Kept looking at the time, hoping time would pass slower.

I had 5 minutes until boarding ended, so we started to walk towards my gate.  Right before we got there, he asked when I’d see him again.  Of course I agreed to come down to LA.  We kissed goodbye and I hopped on my flight just in the knick of time.  Had bitch seat in between one chick playing loud ass electronic music and another watching football on her phone the whole time chewing her gum like Cardi B would (one of my biggest pet peeves).  And no TV.  So I decided to just try and sleep the entire way.

Decide to take BART home.  I see McD’s next to the station...so I decide to make moves.

Get home to wifey Mila.  I have a McDouble in hand.  I plop down on the couch and eat my burgz.  I barely ate all weekend so it was pretty fucking delicious.  We talk some then both decide to go to sleep.

I had awful sleep because I kept getting mufugging bit in the face by mosquitoes lurking in my room.  

I woke up Monday like…………………..is this for real?  Universe.  I see you.

Dom...really?  Now?

Also, last time I got bit in my face by a mosquito was when I was with Quinn on a hike a couple years ago and my forehead literally grew an inch because of how I react to mosquito bites.  He constantly laughed at me because of how cute it was to him.  Was this foreshadow, Universe?  Cuz...I still see you.

Anyway, all this is making me question if I could be with someone in the music industry again.  I lurked Quinn’s IG haaaard the other day and it was all fest/show life.  

I really dig Quinn, but during this next trip, I want to get to know him more and see what his everyday life is like.  And what his normal communication is like.  I can’t tell if he’s just shy and quiet or if he likes to keep the game interesting by being quiet.  I told Mila I want to have a communication level to a degree where Quinn and I shared, and she was like, “You compare every guy to Quinn,” and I was like…damn, you’re right.  But just because I want that communication level doesn’t mean I want a guy like Quinn.  Quinn is a broken dude who will always be broken.  I just look for the way our convo flowed.  Kinda like the way Mila and my convo flows.  I need that.  

So, bought my flight to LA (exact same one as Mila cuz she’ll be there for her poker playaz) today.  

Oct. 13…………oh lordt.

(I also messaged my bartending connect today.  We are meeting this weekend.  I think I’m gonna go this route for now.  Fukkkk sales.  I mentioned this so you don’t think I’m a lazy POS, lulz).  But really.  I am excited to see where this goes.

11:20pm:  Mila’s Jonah Hill doppelgänger just called.  He’s totally in love and trying to pay for her flight out this weekend.  She’s playing it cool by saying she has to check with her boss (which I’m sure she does) but I can tell wifey needs to think a lil about it.  I’m so curious to see how this weekend would go for her if she decides to go.  He’s suggesting she stay a good amount of time.  Her and this super sexy dark Kocoum look-a-like (who is roomies with Jonah at the cheez mansion) have this intense chemistry going on, and I’m sooooo curious to see how it unravels.  If she doesn’t go this weekend, Mila and I are both going to be in LA Oct. 13th wknd.  We are gonna have two completely different blog entries, I can tell ya that much, lolz.  I’ll be with Quinn mostly and she’s gonna have to fend off Chuck and Jonah, but try and sneak away with Kocoum.  Also while trying to slay at poker.  I happened to be at this mansion during fight night in LA a couple weeks before with Quinn and met all these guys.  Completely randomly with different connects.  The one guy I noticed and thought was cute was the guy she picked out--Kocoum.  Go Mila :) 

Arrrittttee.

****Time to sign off****

-Angie

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #246

(song lyrics here idc)

What is the most you’ve ever eaten in one sitting? I don't know. Probably too many slices of pizza back when I could kill pizza if I was hungry enough. How often do you skip breakfast? Rarely. What’s the longest you’ve gone without leaving the house? A couple+ weeks, probably. Where are you going the next time you go out? School. What kinds of things are likely to make you cry? Reunions of like any type, seeing things (esp. animals) in pain, if my feelings are deeply hurt, deaths... stuff like that. Really nothing unusual. What are some things that make others cry that don’t make you cry at all? Hm. I dunno. I'm sure there's something, but I'm unsure. If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I don't smoke, and I'll ever only have like a drink or two on some holidays or for my birthday. What website do you spend the most time on and why? YouTube because it essentially replaces television for me. What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? Oh my god don't ask me this. What is one belief you used to have, but no longer do? In what ways are you influenced by the opinions of others, if ever? The one I disdain the most was being homophobic up to my late teenage years. I wanna curb stomp that ignorant fucking kid. I wouldn't say I'm influenced by other's opinions on things very much. What was the last thing to make you feel good about yourself? Drinking water lmao. How would you describe your overall (or preferred) personal aesthetic? My friend recently described me as a "gothic lolita" and y'know he's onta something. What kinds of small judgments are you likely to make about others? *Small* judgments? Uhhhh... God why am I blanking on surveys so much lately. What was the last thing you did mostly because society expected you to? Shower, 'cuz I seriously wasn't feeling it but needed to anyway. When was the last time you felt out of place? I had to babysit my nephew on my own early last month and I felt like I was in a different universe. I felt so, so unfit in the position and just all-around uncomfortable. I love that boy to death but babysitting is noooooot my thing. Do you believe in aliens, spirits, or angels of any sort? Yeah. Well, not "angels" by true definition, no. In what ways are you superstitious? I'm not. Where was the last place you went walking and how far? Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? Like, for fun? Not since I was at Sara's. I DO NOT like exercising in front of other people at all. What kinds of nail polish colors do you prefer to wear? How about makeup? Black is the entirely superior makeup color. How would you describe your own relationship with makeup? It's just for fun for me when I actually feel like it, and even that's rare. I usually only put makeup on for some pictures. Who has been in your life the longest amount of time? What about the shortest? My mom the longest, and my school teachers the shortest, I guess? Who was the last person to leave your life? How about return to it? My fucking therapist that deserves my fist through her face. Return, uhhhh yeah I dunno. It might be Sara, and that was yearsss ago. When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Wildernesses, especially with mountains, rivers, waterfalls... that kind of stuff. Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? No. Focus on the goddamn planet we're already on. If it was a life or death situation, I'd go, but otherwise, I'm staying here and at least trying to patch it up. What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? Oh, many miles, I'm sure. I used to walk for literally hours out in my yard at night with my iPod. That was so common for me. Funny how now I'm recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs. Do you have a chore/housecleaning routine or anything like that? A "routine," no. How organized would you say your living space is? The house is currently a travesty. What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Success in school. Do you find it easier to forgive yourself or others? Others. Have you ever had to call 911? For who/what reason? Yes; Mom thought she might've been having a heart attack. Thank fuck she wasn't. Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? Oh yeah. It's like a regular for me now that I'm big time trying to lose weight. I like the apple cinnamon one. What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? Thinking about that walking question. How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? The most non-Pagan belief I have is being void of this one. No. When was the last time you were afraid to tell someone something? Heh, speaking of being (mostly, ig) Neo-Pagan. Classmate and I were doing an assignment getting to know each other and she asked my religion. She was a serious Christian and was clearly SO uncomfortable when I awkwardly answered lmao. When was the last time something didn’t go the way you expected it would? My disability case hearing just a week back. I expected to be way, way more terrified, shaking even, and was prepared for an intimidating judge. Just in general I was afraid of it being "court-like" and with a lot of people, but it was okay. I think having my attorney there was crucial to my (relative) calmness, though, because I was comfortable with and liked him. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? Most difficult that I ever tried, Dark Souls. Quit that waaaay early. Hardest that I've beaten, I honestly think The Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night. Don't even @ me w/o trying it yourself 'cuz that game was so fucking hard to where I rage-quit for years until beating it. I did play it a second time for fun, though. Still hard. Most involved, oh, easily World of Warcraft. Years of effort put into too many characters la;ksdjfawoei Have you ever taken lessons for anything? Yeah; dance for a very long time as well as guitar. What’s your favorite band’s name? Well Ozzy goes solo. Btw I nearly died when I heard the Parkinson's news wtf life how dare why him- Who is your last sent text to? My mom. What’s your favorite flavor of Gatorade? I do noooot like Gatorade. What does your bikini look like? Oh hunny I'm barely comfortable in a one-piece. Do you drink the milk after you finish cereal or just leave it in the bowl? I can almost never drink it. The taste is just changed and is usually gross. Have you ever worn glitter eyeliner? No, yikes. Imagine that getting in your eye. Has anyone ever called you a hippie? I don't think so. Did you have any unread texts this morning? No. Have you ever been involved in strength training? No. Who is the last person you kissed? Sara. Have you ever been to a pottery painting store? No. Are bonfires common with you and your friends? Not at all. I don't think I've ever done that with friends. If you’re really quiet, what is probably the reason? I'm thinking about something intently. What does your boyfriend/girlfriend call you? N/A How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? A whole lot. Do you use lotion? If my skin is particularly dry. Have you ever used a sewing machine? No. Is hairspray a staple in your morning routine? I've never regularly used it. Do you believe in teenage love? Fuck yes I do, I can promise you that. When is your favorite TV show on regularly? It's discontinued. Who is your favorite person to waste time with? Sara. What has been the most significant thing to happen to you this year? Well, it's the first day of February, so I'll imagine you're asking about the past year, in which case I went back to school. What kind of kid were you when you were seven? Happy, weird, kinda hyper, outgoing and goofy. Do you always eat those mints you get at some restaurants? Yeah, if they're not the semi-soft ones that kinda melt in your mouth. Ew. Is there a subject you know so much about that you’d be able to teach it? Sure, but nothing like seriously important. Do you believe that being ‘cultured’ is important? Why or why not? I mean, probably if you travel. It's definitely wise to try to act at least semi-"appropriately" in another country. Where did you purchase the computer you’re using right now? Best Buy or Office Depot, idr. Do you think it’s fair to compare Family Guy to The Simpsons? I don't care? Will you miss CDs if they end up going obsolete? Why or why not? Not really, I just don't care. If you could relive one hour of your life so far, what would you choose? I don't have a clue. Do you think animals have a sense of humor? Probably. Animals can definitely act silly. Are you proud of your hometown, or do you try to distance yourself from it? That place is shit. Has your idea of the perfect romantic partner changed with age? Oh yeah, to a degree at least. I had such a fairy-tale ideology on love back then. How many cars have you ever owned? Myself, zero. Can you do math in your head well? I almost can't at all. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip? Oh man, that's hard. Maybe salt and vinegar. Do you ever read the weather forecast? I mean I'll check the app on my phone occasionally. Do amusement park rides make you sick? Thus far in my life, no, but I'm too afraid to try some out of fear of that. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? Don't even like SW. What kind of cheese do you put on your sandwiches? American. What radio station do you listen to the most? None. Who was the last person to give you a gift? A family friend for Christmas. How old were you when you got your driver’s license? I'm about to be 24 and still don't have it. What was the first thing you ever learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. Did you ever collect beanie babies? Maybe? I know I had one big one (me and my sisters had a matching set of different colors; mine was pink, what a shocker), but idk if I actually collected them. When was the last time you got a haircut? Early last month. Have you ever been to a bachelor/bachelorette party? No. How many people can you say you TRULY love? Romantically? Two. Platonically, a whole lot. Where are you most ticklish on your body? My feet jfc. Have you ever bailed anyone out of jail? Nope. What’s the last board game you played? Shit, what's it called. Something with my nephew. It's the one with the popping dice in the middle and four different colors to move around the board. "Sorry!" or something? Have you ever given someone a fake phone number? Might've when stupid kid me made prank calls. Do you have any bumper stickers on your car? No. Do you leave good tips when you eat out at restaurants? I've never been the one paying. Do you still own any VHS tapes? I'm sure Mom has home videos stored somewhere. If there was a real Jurassic Park, would you visit it? Oh fuck yeah 'cuz I'm dumb and love dinos. Have you ever gone golfing? Not legit golfing. Do you know any sign language? No. How many friends do you have that are married? Close friends, like people I still regularly talk to, none. Do you still have your wisdom teeth? Yes. Did you have a swing set in your yard when you were a child? Yes. Do you eat your mac & cheese with a fork or a spoon? I don't really care so I haven't noticed which I usually use. Where did you have your first kiss? His bed. When you were a kid, were you ever afraid of cooties? Lol no. Do you ever go Christmas caroling in December? No, I could never omg. Which overrated tattoo are you sick of seeing? I don’t care. Get what you want. What was the last thing you taught a younger kid? Apparently to say "aw shucks" at everything lmao. Are the clocks in your house mostly digital or analog? Digital. We have on analog in the living room. How long have you had your television(s)? God, years. A loooong time, but it's a fine TV. Do you like watching movies made with CGI or do you prefer hand-drawn ones? I tend to enjoy CGI more. I like realism in what I watch. Where did your parents buy their car(s)? Dad, idk. Mom got hers for free; a dance friend ran into a deer, so the front bumper got fucked up, and she wanted a new vehicle. Mom took it because shit, it was drivable, and she DIY fixed up the bumper to make sure it stays in place. Literally with zip ties and duct tape lmfao but HEY it WORKS. Do you know why your grandparents chose your mother’s name? No. Do you think you’d do well at teaching the English language to a foreigner? I think I'd be at least decent. What is a store you like that is exclusive to your country? Idk what's only exclusive to the country. If you attend school, what time do you usually get home after? Like, 4:35 or so. Mom finishes her field work at 4, and afterwards we go home. Have you written a resume before, either for yourself or someone else? Yes. What is your favorite thing about snow? IT'S PRETTY. What do you usually do when you have trouble sleeping? Try to go back to sleep at first, and if I really can't, I get back up on the laptop for a while. Are you satisfied with your social life (or lack thereof)? NONONONONONONONO. What TV show do you just assume you wouldn’t like? 13 Reasons Why. Do your friends have more money than you? lol duh I make none. Who always has the power to make you feel intimidated? Pretty much men as a whole...