#can you tell i love drawing 3/4 view portraits!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mechagender]

do not let my priv twts fool you i hate him actually. /lying

[lizziempress]

Custom Emoji Design

If you can draw, you can design engaging emojis. While illustration rules are sometimes better broken, there are proven methods that will produce effective emojis.

I enjoy receiving emoji and sticker requests. At Home Brew Agency, I’ve created artwork for major entertainment properties, including Pokémon: Detective Pikachu, The Curse of La Llorona, Blockers, Mama Mia!, The Croods: A New Age, The Animaniacs, The Suicide Squad, SCOOB!, The Conners, 2019 CMA Awards, Trolls World Tour, and Abominable, to name a few. Let’s talk about what it takes to build a solid design that is ready to go live.

1. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Anyone may submit a proposal for a new emoji to the Unicode Consortium. However, only a small percentage of these submissions will be encoded.

Don’t allow yourself to be discouraged. Believing in your potential is essential. Equally important is the ability to weather rejection. That is an inevitable part of following any creative career path.

Fortunately, there isn’t only one platform by which emojis enter the world. Great clients may call upon you to illustrate emojis for exciting properties. The marketing departments of major films and TV shows love to feature their characters as custom Twitter emojis, Facebook stickers, GIPHY stickers, and Apple Store sticker packs.

Don’t have a client base yet? Then this is the perfect time to build a portfolio. Or, upload your set to a creative market site to offer your indie designs and build up your fan base. Just keep going.

2. RESPECT THE SPECS

Many clients and platforms will have strict specs for you to follow. The client may provide a document detailing the nuts and bolts of what they’ll need. Dimensions, file format, vector vs. bitmap, style, etc. If they don’t present a set of specs, ask for one.

It doesn’t hurt to do a little research first. Then you’ll be able to ask informed questions such as “Would you like this to be delivered as a 1x1 transparent PNG at 72dpi?” or “Will the platform requires that we deliver the original vector file?” Twitter will require you to submit vector files with a 1x1 aspect ratio. GIPHY stickers, however, have slightly different requirements. Ignore this at your peril. If you don’t design the file correctly, you will likely face building it over again. Don’t waste your time (and the client’s time). Do it right from the start. You’ll probably need that time to handle the client’s design revisions.

3. TELL A STORY

Emojis are a bit like contemporary hieroglyphics. This medium is all about communication. What is your emoji’s intended message? Make sure your design’s message is abundantly clear. Of course, we all know certain emojis have double meanings (particular fruit come to mind). But even in that case, make sure the drawing of your eggplant reads as an eggplant, not as a random oblong object. It is helpful to check out Emojipedia. Not only will you be able to study the wide variety of styles created to differentiate between brands, but the meaning of each emoji is listed. https://emojipedia.org/

4. THINK CLEAN

If you approach emojis like a logo designer tackles a new icon, you’re on the right track. Designing impactful, legible illustrations that register at a small size is your primary goal.

Twitter emojis always work best when they are simple. For most characters, stick with a head shot. Clients will want a distinctive representation of their character. The tendency is to yearn for detail. But remember, this isn’t a portrait painting. Do your best to use as little information as possible while still achieving a good likeness. Once you add shoulders and limbs, you’re in sticker territory.

Stickers are a unique category. You may view the Wonder Woman stickers ©2017 Warner Bros. Ent. All Rights Reserved TM & © DC Comics that I illustrated at Home Brew Agency at the Apple Store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/wonder-woman/id1241224506

As you can see, stickers provide more real estate for detail and depicting action. When you submit a figurative drawing that is complex, the face will probably become too small to read within a line of text. If a hand or other extra detail is required to express a specific emotion or action, enlarge the head (think cartoon proportions) to accommodate. Too many details will become a muddy mess once the emoji is live. Bold and concise is best.

5. SKETCH IT FIRST

As with all illustration projects, a few minutes of thumbnail sketches in the beginning, will save you hours in the end. Work out the kinks and discover the design challenges now, before you take the time to build out a polished finish.

Show your favorite concepts to the client. They’ll have ideas from there. Entering the second round of sketching is still faster than repeatedly editing a finished illustration. Thumbnails don’t need to be perfect. This is the stage when you and the client get to experiment with concepts.

If this is a personal project, ask some friends what they think of your thumbnails. There are also online design hubs like Dribbble, where you may get feedback from other artists and professionals. You will become a stronger artist and more resilient to critique.

4. TIME YOURSELF

Have I ever gone straight to a finish (without a sketch)? In a few cases, when a client’s request was unambiguous, and the turnaround was ultra-tight, yes. Entertainment advertising deadlines are no joke. I fondly call these assignments emoji emergencies.

However, rushing will often lead to mistakes. Mistakes cost money. I wouldn’t recommend skipping the sketch phase or blasting through a finish if you can help it. Don’t be afraid to communicate this to the client, either. You’re the artist. You know your capabilities.

Time yourself on a trial run if you aren’t sure. Does it take you less than an hour to build a representation of a flower or a symbol, but triple that amount of time to draw a face? How long does it take you to create a collage of three celebrity likenesses? Be open about your production timeline with the client. Why not share a sample chart with your work and how long each piece took you to create? This way, everyone involved can plan adequately.

5. VECTOR IS YOUR FRIEND

If you aren’t already in love with the magical world of infinite scalability, get comfortable using a vector-based illustration program now. Specific platforms (such as Twitter) will require it. When you scale a vector image file, there will be no loss of quality. Due to the need for responsive artwork capable of adapting to varying screen sizes, vector files are necessary for modern design.

I recommend that you build vector art from scratch. Should you chose to skip ahead by using image trace, be prepared to do clean up work. Diligently remove any excess information you don’t genuinely need. The fewer points you use, the smoother your curves will be. As for texture, you can produce a lot of incredible imagery and depth within a program such as Adobe Illustrator. A quick google search will fill in your knowledge gaps. Just remember to economical with your choices early on so that future edits will be a breeze.

6. TEST & SHARE

Now that your polished emoji is ready for its debut — test it. Consider mocking up your emoji in a line of text for your chosen platform to avoid any mishaps. That way, both you and the client will know how well it will work in reality. Share a sharp, full-size preview of your working file with your audience as well. Though it will appear significantly smaller when live, we are here to make beautiful representations of characters and emotions.

7. CELEBRATE

Emoji development is a rewarding challenge. Enjoy the sense of accomplishment and share your work with the world. I look forward to seeing your creations go live!

[whennnow]

Sewing a Regency Gown Part 5 - Photos and Inspiration

October 8, 2020

[Image ID: a photo of Alex wearing a white drawstring-front Regency gown with red accessories in the woods.]

Part 1 - Drafting the Bodice

Part 2 - Sewing the Bodice

Part 3 - The Skirt

Part 4 - The Sleeves

I've been thinking about, researching, planning, and preparing for this project for about six years. I was in high school then, and now I've graduated from college. I'm incredibly happy about how it turned out, so I wanted to share some photos! (This post is, for that reason, very photo heavy.)

It's not perfect, of course - bodice lining peaks out of the neckline a bit and there's still something wonky with the sleeves - but it's done. I had an art professor who liked to remind us that "done is better than perfect." I'd rather have a complete imperfect project than a perfect ufo.

Now that my white neo-classical Regency dress is done I wanted to share some of my inspiration! I've got a lot of white dresses saved on this Pinterest board, but I wanted to highlight a few.

This 1798 fashion plate from Costume Parisien. While the waistline is hidden by her shawl, it seems to be gathered at the waist and neckline. A line across the bust might imply the lining layer of the dress or the top edge of her stays.

This 1804 drawing by Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres of Henrietta Harvey and her half-sister Elizabeth Norton. Both women are wearing gowns that seem to have drawstrings in the waist- and necklines. I think I can see the ties of the waistline drawstring on the woman on the left.

Desoria's 1797 portrait of Constance Pipelet shows a classic late-1790s gown, with a high waistline and rounded bust. If you zoom in on the image, you can tell that the waistline is gathered into a tape or piece of fabric, but isn't a drawstring.

You can't see the front of the gown in this undated (but clearly early 1800s) portrait, but I loved how the skirt is ungathered along the sides and densely gathered or pleated into the bottom of the center back bodice panel. I opted to do something similar on my dress.

This extant gown from the National Museum of Norway's digital collection also features a skirt that is ungathered at the sides but densely gathered/pleated under the center back panel. The front bodice of the dress is gathered and seems to have a drawstring at the neckline, but the skirt is only gathered a few inches at the center front. If you zoom in on the bodice you can see the inner lining of the bodice.

And with that, one of my long-term dream projects is done! I know I keep saying this, but I am so excited with how it turned out! I'm already dreaming of the open robes, over bodices, spencers, and matching reticules I can make now...

Stay warm. Stay safe. Stay healthy.

[Image ID: a 3/4 view of Alex from the hips up wearing a white Regency dress with red accessories.]

[anichka05]

Titian 1538 Venus of Urbino. Oil on canvas; 47" × 65".

Cool facts are:

1. Nobody knows who the girl in the painting is.

2. looking at a woman gives the idea of beauty instead of a sense of improper looking.

3. This can only be understood by understanding the figures such as Venus instead of a nude woman.

4. This painting gives sensuality and directness but that is also lightened by the softness of the painting. that is done by the soft hair framing her breasts and also the overall softness of the painting there are not any hard points or direct sharpness in the whole painting.

5. softness is created from oil paint that is from Italy that allows glazing to be done to the paintings to bring softness. as well as the richness of color. glazing is the light brightening areas of the paint that bring the softness of the girl's completion. this gives a sensual feeling to the girl.

6. Personal in the back of the painting gives the balance between her body and the whole painting.

My first thoughts:

So for the Number Nine Art piece, I was overwhelmed when I first saw it. This feeling was not bad it was just a little bit of shock and humerus. It's because I am Christian and you know that this kind of stuff is not what I was expecting but don't mind me I love to laugh.

The painting that I got was of confidence in the girl in the portrait as well as mid-century beauty. I also felt a bit of jealousy as you can see in the painting the girl was on her knee's while the lady standing over her seemed to be trying to comfort her. So this portrait had some very different feelings in it.

3. Write a short paragraph (4 sentences) answering these questions: Did the way you think about the art change from the first time you looked at it? Do you see anything different in the art now? (50 points)

Yes And No I have seen and heard of this art piece. I did know that nobody truly knows the girl's origins in the painting. And yes this painting gave me a settling look of sinfulness but also brought out some other parts that I was very interested in. I was very enlightened about the glazing techniques that the painting was a product of. And the overall softness and balance of the painting were a unique surprise to me.

2. ART AND WRITING - Select a work of art from your life. It must be something that hangs in your house or your room, something that is important to you or that you look at every day. Include a picture. In paragraph form (4 sentences), tell me about the art – what media were used to create it? What use does it serve? Do you think it is beautiful? Why?

This art piece has a special place in my life because it is a memory of my old home. In the mornings when I when to school in my 9th and 10th-grade years of high school I would walk under light posts that would be beautiful in the morning hours. When I moved here to Florida It wasn't the same and I had a period of my life that was not in the best place. With that in mind, I expressed Myself with painting. This was the first painting I made because I missed Washington and I loved the gloomy morning hours on my walk to school. I think this is beautiful and I did not even realize how flowy and elegant it was until the end.

3. WRITING A SELF-PORTRAIT - Create a perceptual profile. What “baggage” are you bringing along when you look at art? This helps us see from what exact point in the world we view and receive visual information.

Answer the following questions:

How old are you?

I am Affisaly 19 years old since May 1st!

What is the gender you primarily align with?

Female (She/her)

Where are you from?

This is a mixed Question. I am originally from Ukraine but moved to the US in 2006. I have lived in Washington state for most of my life which is about 15 in a half years. I moved to Florida the August of 2020 and have been here since so 3 years.

What is your ethnicity?

I am Uranian.

What do you do for fun?

A Mix of things I love to work out, draw, write, and hangouts with friends. I do really love to travel around new places. I also love going out for coffee.

Are you a member of any organized group?

Well, I Am Pentecostal Christian I am a part of a church. I do sing in the choir and I am a part of a group of volunteers that help around.

Where do you work?

I am a manager at a Greek restaurant that is getting pretty popular recently.

What makes you uniquely you?

Well I am intimidadtin yet I am soft and bougie. I am extremely bold and not very shy. I am an athlete it was in wrestling and weightlifting. I am a very good multitasker and I am good at a lot of things. I am a manager at 19 years old. I have many hobbies and things I love to do. I am fancy and expensive when I want to be. I am a very serious person and I am really funny but I can’t understand Hummer. I have a very bad resting face that makes me seam mad or disinterested. I have a defining scar that I practically have has since I was little.

4. ART PROJECT (SELF-PORTRAIT) – Look at the work of Romare Bearden in Revel or online. He created collages that combine media (gouache, pencil, colored pencil) and photographs to express things from his life that he thought people could universally relate to. He was representing himself powerfully long before the advent of selfies.

What are you fascinated by in your daily life?

How I am still here lol. I had a tough life and was in dark places but am still here happier than ever.

Create a self-portrait that somehow represents YOU.

This could be a selfie (remember this is ART - your representation should encompass the definition as introduced in our text, and this is a graded assignment), a virtual collage, anything you assemble that communicates something to the viewer. But don’t let me (or anyone else) limit you – be as creative as you desire! Think about HOW your self-portrait will elevate the viewer's understanding of the subject = you

[adrianapicerno]

Virtual Sketchbook 1

Writing and Research

Hi, my name is Adriana Picerno and a fact about me is that my favorite thing to do is draw, I have loved art ever since I was little.

James Turrell 2013 Aten Reign. 

1) James Turrell is an American artist who focuses on the dimension of light and space.

2) Turrell is even the founder of the California Light and Space Movement where he developed his technique of intensifying sight and perception.

3) This piece is named after a sun god in Egyptian mythology.

4) The artwork is a dome like structure that features a skylight and different hues of a color.

5) The idea is that the each time you visit this piece the variations of the hue will change gradually depending on the time of day or night when viewing.

The way I thought of the art from first impression definitely changed when I learned a little more about the piece and the artist's movement behind it. At first glance it is hard to tell what the the piece really was, but after learning more about it and the background of his work that he did before making his pieces I see how much value his art has as well as passion. Initially, this piece looked like a bunch of circles within each other to me and the dimension described cannot be seen from the picture. After learning the meaning of the piece, it is intriguing to learn how he developed a way to use light to deceit our brains' perception. That made the artwork in mind mind worth so much more than just some lights with different hues at first glance.

2. Art and Writing

A painting that I look at everyday and is hung up in my room is Vincent Van Gogh's painting of sunflowers. I love how each sunflower is different and none of them are perfect even though he could have made them perfect. This reminds me that our flaws make us who we are and it is okay to have them because it is only natural. I think that my whole life I have strived to be perfect and feel shame when I make even the littlest mistake. This painting to me proves that the mistakes along the way can have a beautiful outcome.

3. Writing a Self-Portrait

I am a 19 year old girl and I was born and raised in Sarasota, Fl. I am Italian so family, food, and traditions are very important to me. I love to draw for fun, but I also love going to beach and spending time with my friends and family. I even work at the beach in a donut shop and get to see the sunset every time I'm there. The thing that makes me uniquely me is the determination I have. I will never quit or take breaks until I finish my intended plan.

4. Art Project (Self- Portrait)

[flatvurm]

I can't deny it; I do love me a collaborative map-making game! This is a stupendous list. (I'm particularly fond of Questlandia and i'm sorry did you say street magic, and I even learned of a new game or two I'm excited to check out!) I'd like to take the opportunity to shout out a couple of my own additional personal favorites, too!

Companions' Tale from Laura Simpson/Sweet Potato Press

Companions' Tale is a GMless game for 3-4 players (with variant rules for more or fewer players) about telling the story of the land's greatest hero and the epic quest that made them famous...but nobody plays the hero. Players instead take on the roles of characters who knew the hero or had some smaller part to play in their world's grandest story. Through each (perhaps inconsistent?!) retelling of some smaller part of an epic tale, the world and its history is laid out to explore.

The game comes with a beautiful set of portrait cards that can be used as inspiration for the Companions themselves. Players take turns adding details to their story, world, history, and culture by viewing the world through the lens of their character's role in the story (like Nemesis or Childhood Friend) using a set of rotating player roles in the game (like Cartographer or Witness). Every new facet of the world is recorded on the communal map. By the end of the session, you'll have a whole world mapped out with a legendary tale to go with it.

The standout feature of this game for me is that, while still a collaborative storygame, it explicitly shies away from creating a consensus-based narrative. It is understood, and even encouraged, that different people's recollections of history may paint quite different pictures of the past, even when recalling the same events and people! Also enticing are the rules variants to try out once you're familiar with the base game, like a dual story of a present tale reflecting the ancient world, or a story in which the "Hero" is actually one of history's Villains.

Though I first encountered this list originally through @temporalhiccup, he was too modest to mention his own contribution to the genre, so I'll do it for them, because the game is absolutely delightful.

Cozy Town from Rae Nedjadi/Sword Queen Games

Cozy Town is a GMless, no-prep game for 3-6 players about...well, a cozy town! Player's take on the roles of various inhabitants of a tight-knit community and, over the course of an in-game year, build a map and a world of comfort, togetherness, and celebration.

This game is based mechanically on both The Quiet Year and another of Avery Alder's games, Dream Askew. Thematically, it draws inspiration from video games like Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. Play is driven by card-based questions and prompts that lead the players to collaboratively construct their community and its other inhabitants, visitors, and traditions.

This is a straightforward game that is truly easy and fun to pick up and just start playing, even for complete beginners. The tone is friendly and welcoming, the process is fun, and the results are always cozy!

THEME: Map-Making Games

This week's games are centred around map-making or city-building games.

The Quiet Year by Avery Alder.

The Quiet Year is a map game. You define the struggles of a community living after the collapse of civilization, and attempt to build something good within their quiet year. Every decision and every action is set against a backdrop of dwindling time and rising concern.

This game uses a deck of cards and a map that the group will communally elaborate upon, picking up characters and elements of the setting to answer questions as the game goes on. You will play through four seasons, and at some point in Winter, the game will suddenly end.

If you like this idea, but would like to play from the perspective of monsters putting their lives back together before the Humans come back, you should try The Deep Forest, by Avery Alder and Mark Diaz Truman.

The Shrike, by sadpress.

It is early evening aboard the airship The Shrike. Far below us, rich pine forests roll past. It is fine flying weather, and the skies around us, for now, are empty. Soon pale miniature cliffs slip away beneath, and now we are over the vast dark sea. The sun's glow on the horizon fades. One by one the stars come out, but they fail to illuminate the waves below. We are hurtling in the quiet darkness. We put on our lanterns. Our voyage has begun.

The Shrike is a game about fantastical voyages aboard a skyship. It's inspired by Avery Alder's The Quiet Year, John Harper's Lady Blackbird, Italo Calvino, Ursula K. Le Guin, and utopian and dystopian fiction. It features four complete adventures (two multiplayer, two for solo play). 

Adventures for The Shrike provide a level of detail between traditional game-books and oracle-based games such as The Quiet Year. You'll encounter people, places, and other prompts, but you'll also have the flexibility to build your own world and tell your own stories. 

If you are interested in this game, you might also be interested in The Shrike Voyage Generator (which is still in alpha!

Cul-de-sac, by Clint Smith.

Cul-de-sac is a neighbourhood-building RPG exploring the connections, or lack thereof, between people living in close proximity. Players collaboratively create the occupants of a neighbourhood, what their lives are like, and what secrets they hold. 

This game uses Tarot cards, with the Minor Arcana representing the everyday occurrences of the neighbourhood, while the Major Arcana represents significant events. The Neighbourhood centres on the families of the neighbourhood, and you will spend 12 turns exploring the personalities of the Cul-de-sac. Each turn has two phases: the Day Phase and the Night Phase. The Day Phase tells us about new events; the Night Phase tells us about the cult-de-sac’s personalities. 

This game is a very interpretive game; it’s also simple and pay-what-you-want. It’s inspired by games such as the Quiet Year, and I’m sorry did you say street magic, which, as you might have guessed, have had a big impact on map-making games in the indie scene.

The Station, by pidj

The Station is a GMless worldbuilding game where players take turn answering prompts about a train, a station and the people. The Station explores how places shape people and people shape places in the vein of i'm sorry did you say street magic by Caro Asercion and The Quiet Year, by Avery Alder.

The Station uses no dice. It uses playing cards, paper (such as index cards) and points.  The game is A6, fully illustrated and laid-out, and is 16 pages long. Play time is adjusted by setting the number of Train Progress cards required to begin resolution or by changing the size of the deck. Draw cards and answer questions to build a world. The prompts are genre-agnostic and you will have plenty of opportunities to ask your own questions of the table. When your time is up, collaborate to bring the game to a close in a bitter-sweet resolution. Spend points to resolve the stories of some of the characters you have collaborated on and bring your time together to a close.

If you like the quiet everyday magic of Studio Ghibli movies, this might be the game for you. The artwork carries a mix of whims and mundanity, and the game is set up so that everyone has some level of creative control.

What the Water Gave Us by JordannaGeorge

What the Water Gave Us is collaborative storytelling game about strange things that come out of the water, and how the community deals with it.

This game also uses a deck of cards, and players will take turns drawing cards and answering questions about what exactly is coming out of the water - and whether or not it turns out to be a blessing or a curse. The game plays out over the course of a four seasons, with the option to continue playing after the first year if you feel like you haven't fully fleshed out the narrative yet. It's simple to set up, with an easy oracle to get you started. If you're looking to tell a story specifically about seaside or lakeside towns, or if you like stories about the mysterious and unknown, this might be the game for you.

Questlandia (Second Edition) by turtlebun.

In Questlandia, you and your friends will invent a world from scratch. It might be fantastic or bizarre, from a remembered past or imagined future. You’ll paint a picture of your society and its people, their laws and customs, how they live and how they dream.

But your society is failing.

As you play, your characters will attempt to find beauty and purpose amidst the chaos of a changing world.

Questlandia is a tabletop roleplaying game that creates fantastical worlds in states of change. It may be medieval fantasy in a ghost-haunted kingdom, neo-noir in a roboticized undercity, or microscopic slipstream suburbia in a puddle.

The concept of Questlandia is beautiful and enchanting, and it lends itself to new and exciting worlds in which you can play using the same system, or re-visit with a game of your choice. The second edition uses a deck of cards as well as d6s: cards to build the world, d6's to explore the conflict that is befalling your beloved world.

The first edition of Questlandia is $2 cheaper, and can be found here.

An Altogether Different River by ehronlime.

 It has been some time since you’ve left home, but now it’s finally time to return. To what, though?

The home you held in your mind, and the home you will encounter will not be the same. You are not the same.You can’t step into the same river twice. You can’t go home again.

This is a GM-less roleplaying game meant for 2 to 4 players and a single session of about 3-4 hours. It is inspired in parts by Downfall, by Caroline Hobbs and Microscope, by Ben Robbins. It is about a Town, the people who have left it and returned, and the people who stayed behind.

This is a game that is just as much about a town as it is about the people who live in it. It explores themes of change and growth, and the feeling you get when you go back to a town that isn't really home anymore. At the end of the game, you'll likely have questions unanswered, so if you like finishing games with a bit of bittersweetness, you might want to try this one out.

An archipelago-based fishing town, separated by its various islands, gathers annually to celebrate the turn of the harvest.

A collective of magical artists embarks on an ambitious project: a guerrilla public transit system powered by enchanted street art.

In a sprawling metropolis decades from now, breakthroughs in biotechnology offer citizens superpowers far beyond mortal ability.

This city that we call home has a magic all its own. It is wonder, and joy, and spirit — and with that spirit, we breathe life into our city together.

i'm sorry did you say street magic is a GMless city-building story game for two to six players, that runs three or more hours.  Discover and imagine a city filled with life and vivid detail, packed with a myriad of neighborhoods, landmarks, and residents. Discover their true names, and the ways that they intersect—then set events in motion that will change or alter their relationships.

This is an enchanting game, with the breadth you need for any city, whether it be fantastical, futuristic, or modern-day. You can mix and match with different themes, and each player has a chance to imbue the city with their own personal touch. At the end of every round, one player instigates an event that will certainly stir up excitement, but wil usually won't be resolved by the time the game is over. If you're looking at establishing a setting for a game with distinct city sectors and characters that act as emblems for a larger neighbourhood, if you want a game that hands a series of story hooks over to the GM by the time you've finished, this is absolutely the game for you.

The author has also written a supplement that you can use to generate true names if you want some inspiration. It is called there are names more powerful here than our own.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. You know the header image placed at the beginning of every episode (portrait of P on the left, black and white sketch of HxP in the middle, portrait if H on the right)? The full image of the sketchier version of the black and white drawing (the version used in older episodes) is actually smut (you can see it on 4chan)… You’d think RS would at least make a minimal effort to hide her agenda to sexualise everything but nOoOoO

From OP, not Anon: Ngl, that shocked me when I first found that out

2. the same-face syndrome in this series is something else, I swear. legitimately couldn't tell Apollo and Eros apart for the longest time. all male and female characters are drawn with the exact same faces. it gets really annoying honestly

3. I don't know if this bothers anyone else (maybe it's just me) but it seems like the characters' facial expressions can be really... off at times? Like, characters will be drawn smiling in situations where it'd make no sense for them to be smiling? And be drawn with vacant expressions in inappropriate times?

Like how (spoiler) Daphne is drawn with a smile when Apollo turns her into a tree (?) when she should have looked terrified???

As an artist who specializes in facial expressions, the ones in LO legitimately throw me off at times.

4. Something that kind of weirds me out about LO is that both Hades and Persephone are kind of awful people (like literally. Slavery, murder, greed, etc.) but it's not portrayed as a bad thing?? at all, really??? Other than a "That's terrible!" here and there, the full weight of what these two characters do doesn't get addressed and is even excused?

And we as the readers are still supposed to believe these two are the good guys? Hades is the king of the underworld, he can do horrible stuff and get away with it. And we already know Persephone won't have to face the consequences of her actions -_-

Imo, this whole story would make more sense if these two were villains/descending into villainy, but that's obviously not what RS is planning.

5. This isn’t a critique I just wanna know if something went over my head, but when Zeus tells Hades to go be king and take Kronos with him Demeter shows up and Zeus and Demeter walk away. Was that suppose to be about Hera getting torn in half or just something we don’t know yet

From OP, not Anon: Maybe something we don’t know about since Demeter and Zeus don’t have a good relationship.

6. After reading the latest chapter where Hades drones on and on to a crying Persephone about how he'll take care of her and get her everything she needs and she'll have a footman waited on her, a apartment with a great view, etc etc.

It really puts into perspective how spoiled she actually is. Like, that chapter was almost hard to read. 

7. Why does RA draw so much porn? It’s so uncomfortable how most of her fans are underage yet she doesn’t even bother to hide the fact that she makes NSFW content 

From OP, Not Anon: Tbf, RS did have her nsfw behind a paywall. I don’t expect creators to hide that they make nsfw, especially since they don’t have much control over their audience. Nsfw is how a lot of webtoon creators make money after all. RS already stopped using patreon though so I haven’t seen her post nsfw or anything that couldn’t be considered artistic nudity in a while.

8. Anybody else notice how Persephone is always portrayed almost as a poor, lower class god who's worked in the fields instead of lived in luxury? "Oh, poor her!"? BUT we have, if my memory serves me, NO actual lower class characters at all?

I don't know if I'm making much sense, but basically the only reason Persephone seems like such an underdog is because RS hasn't introduced a character who has it worse than her. Despite that there are people living in literal slavery while she's living it up?

From OP, not Anon: Nymphs, satyrs, and other mythical beings are lower class in LO. The gods would be considered middle/upper class so yeah.

9. wasnt the original hymn about the power of women and a mother defending her daughter from a cruel marriage by standing up to men and bringing the world to its knees until they finally took her seriously? like thats feminist to me, not claiming persephone loved her kidnapper and demeter is a big bitch for trying to stop it. im not saying making hxp not full of sexual assault is bad, i'd much rather read that, but demonizing demeter for the sake of a man and a heterosexual romance aint it, chief.

10. I love how lo fanart always depicts hades as some young male model as if rachel isnt very open that she designed him off mads and his depiction of hannibal? like maybe they know if they drew him like a 55+ year old man like rachel intended they might realize hes a creep for wanting to bang a baby faced 19 year old.

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 7 - Memories

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, was it a memory?, 2.6k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

“Don’t look down ‘cuz we’re still rising up right now...and even if we hit the ground...we’ll still fly, keep dreaming like we’ll live forever but live it like it’s now or never…”

Willie bobbed along as the song played from the tinny radio speaker outside the bodega. Sheldon was curled on his lap, purring contentedly as Willie pet him absentmindedly.

“You gonna take any chamoy candy, amigo?” Escobar asked, peeking his head out the door.

Willie shook his head.

“Not tonight.”

As Escobar disappeared again, Willie kept nodding to the beat of the song. It wasn’t exactly like being at a concert, but he had been happily surprised to hear the local station playing their songs - they’d been repeating them, in fact. By now he’d been able to assign faces to the voices singing different parts, and hearing Alex’s come through in the harmonies and the occasional solo was comforting.

“We ain’t searching for tomorrow…’cuz we got all we need today…”

The lines were strangely fitting. If Willie could’ve chosen how to spend his last day on Earth, he knew he would’ve spent it just like he had yesterday without question. If only that could make the Alex-sized hole hurt a little less than it had today.

“Can we turn it back to my station now?” Escobar called out. “We’ve heard the same songs, like, four times.”

“It’s Alex’s band, though,” Willie contested. The radio was already playing rancheras. As he stood up, Sheldon leapt off of his lap and went to eat more food.

“Que tiene este muchacho, anyway?” Escobar asked. “You knew him for, like, five seconds and he didn’t leave you a number.”

There was no way to properly express in words the feeling he got about Alex. Their interactions weren’t based on words, even when they had spoken.

“You don’t have to get it, Escobar,” he said, grabbing his board and helmet from leaning against the counter. He hadn't let himself hope it would magically last forever, but the memory was worth it. “I’ll see you later.”

“Adios,” the man said, sweeping up the store and singing along to his music. “Una piedra en el camino...me enseño que mi destino...era rodar y rodar…”

Shaking his head and smiling, Willie kicked off into the late night. He’d spent all morning cleaning hotel rooms, and he tried to remember which number had been the one for Alex and his band, but he never figured it out. The rest of the day, he’d run errands for Caleb and let the one memory he had regained play on loop in his mind. There was nothing that specifically indicated that the man in the truck was his dad, but he simply knew it was. They had the same squint when they smiled.

He hadn’t bothered telling Caleb about it. It would’ve been irrelevant, since he’d apparently been in the foster care system for quite some time. Those were some of the important details he’d gotten from him, but Caleb was rather stingy about the rest - he’d said it was so Willie could live unbiased and make himself into whoever he wanted. It didn’t feel that way, though. Eventually Willie had stopped trying to weasel things out of him and accepted that he might never regain his memories. Of course, it was different now that he knew they could return.

The wind in his hair was nice, but lacked something he couldn’t put a finger on. As he came upon a large home, he skated onto the driveway around the back. He was headed past the pool in the backyard toward his shed and was surprised by a sudden voice from the water.

“William, I’ve asked you so many times not to skate around the pool,” Caleb said, wading over from where he had been doing some laps. Slowing to a stop and picking his board up, Willie gave him an apologetic nod, continuing toward the shed.

“Wait,” he heard from behind. Turning, he saw Caleb climb out of the pool and move toward him.

“You’ve been running around all day, so I’m sure you want some rest. I’ve just been worried about where you go when it’s so late. That’s two nights in a row. Is there anything you need to tell me?”

Put on the spot, everything went blank in his mind. What was there to worry about? Did he know about Sheldon? Even if he did, it wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong keeping the cat at the bodega.

“Not anything to tell,” he replied, trying to mask the strange guilt that had arisen. “Just been skating around.”

Caleb looked down at him, and Willie could never tell what was making those gears turn in his head. He knew he was just looking out for him, but sometimes he just wanted not to give some kind of report at the end of the day like he was doing business.

“I just think about what would happen if you were out there and something were to hurt you,” Caleb told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Or someone. Wouldn’t want another accident.”

Willie nodded solemnly. Caleb’s tone was serious, but for the first time he just felt that it was...insincere. His stomach flipped at the thought and he drove it down into the depths of his mind. That was an awful thing to think about the person who literally provided everything for him, especially when he wasn’t blood-related.

“I’m being careful, I promise,” he said, not meeting the man’s eyes.

“I’ll take your word,” Caleb said. He let go of Willie’s shoulder and strolled back toward the pool.

Walking to the shed, Willie shut the door behind him and confusion swept over his whole being. His dad’s face rose to the front of his mind again. If only he knew more about him to compare the two men, then he could understand why he felt so strangely about Caleb. Looking around the shed, he wondered if an answer could be found.

It was big enough for his bed, some shelves and a desk, with a small closet and bathroom. Apparently he had been living in there instead of the house even before his accident. In his first memory of seeing it, it was the bare necessities and nothing else. While Willie still wasn’t much to keep lots of clutter, he had dozens of sketches that he’d put up on the walls to make it feel more at home. It was quiet and thankfully Caleb didn’t bother him too often in there.

Sitting at the desk, he picked up a pencil and opened to a blank page in his sketchbook. Slowly shaping out a face, he tried his best to remember the details as clearly as he could. Willie wanted it to be as close to reality as possible, even though it wasn’t his usual drawing style. That way if his memory slipped, he could have something to keep him steady. So far the best thing about it was the eyes, but it wasn’t hard because all he had to do was check his own face in the mirror every once in a while. The smile was a little more crooked and wrinkly, and it took several attempts, but he was determined to get it right. He knew it was probably a good idea to get some sleep, since he had a full day of work in the morning, but this was more important.

Hours into the drawing, making sure everything was as close as he could get, Willie looked down at the portrait of his dad, steering wheel in hand, happy as could be. It was a really nice image, and if this were the only way he would ever remember him, Willie was glad it was happy. Checking the time, it was a little past three in the morning. He’d probably hate himself later for staying up so late, but it didn’t make him any less proud of his work. Aside from preserving his memory, it had been a great artistic challenge.

Finally climbing into bed, Willie tried to focus on something else. He brought Alex’s eyes to the forefront of his mind and let himself get lost in the soft crashing of the waves again. It had been rhythmic, which was so fitting for Alex. Allowing the rhythm to repeat continuously, he eventually nodded off to sleep.

Sirens blared and red and blue lights surrounded his vision. Willie was lying on the pavement, not moving and fading in and out of lucidity. The pain in his head was overwhelming. For a few moments, he stayed that way, watching the lights flash indefinitely. Slowly, he watched as all the lights and sirens pulled away, and above his face, the front bumper of a car came in view. A man that he couldn’t see clearly appeared, moving backwards, going from the side of the car to kneeling over Willie’s motionless body in a panic.

After a few moments, the man went back to the car in the same backwards fashion, and Willie’s body lifted in the air. His vision tumbled and he made contact with the car a few times, and when his head hit the pain vanished. Strangely, he landed perfectly on his board and it was like watching the city in reverse. Aware this was a dream, he felt so puzzled by the whole thing. This was a part of the city he could’ve sworn he’d never been through before. Willie had his corners that he’d memorized, but Vegas was big enough to confuse him still.

The backwards skating seemed to be endless, until finally he was running back into Caleb’s home. Caleb was yelling, and Willie couldn’t make out what he was saying at all. Then suddenly they were at a social worker’s office, and Willie looked down at a file with his picture on it. He couldn’t make out anything it said, but he simply sat there as Caleb and the social worker blabbed in backwards gibberish.

The scene changed again, and Willie found himself sitting in the shed, crying. He was repeating a name but it made no sense. A deep loneliness filled his entire body and a strange force seemed to try to compress him into as small a space as possible. The tears and the shaking only intensified, ringing loudly in his ears. Everything was miserable, overwhelming, and he just kept crying out into the dark.

Willie opened his eyes and sat up in his bed. Looking around his room, there was too little light to make out any shapes, and after blinking his eyes he found they were wet. Huddling his knees into his chest, he just sat there in his confusion and fear, breathing in and out. Had those been memories? It was so hard to tell, especially since watching everything in reverse had been so trippy. If they had been, he wondered if they were warped in any fashion. Who would have their memories return through a dream in reverse, anway? The frustrating thing about amnesia was that it had very few absolutes and every case was different.

A pit of anger grew in his chest. Willie felt like some higher power was having fun at his expense. The tears that fell were more from quiet fury than pain. Glancing over at his desk, he saw the drawing of his dad smiling back at him again. Unfolding himself and laying down on his side, Willie stared at the picture and let the tears run until either his eyes dried up or he fell asleep again, whichever came first.

Loud banging on his door was what woke him up. Rising groggily from his bed, he opened the door to find Quetzal, one of the girls from the diner.

“You just woke up?” she was saying. “Come on, Willie, Caleb doesn’t know I rushed over here to get you, you better hurry up.”

Sighing wordlessly, Willie pulled on some clothes, followed Quetzal to her car and clambered inside.

“You’ve been off the past couple of days, you okay?”

Willie took in a deep breath and tried to blink himself more awake as they drove to the diner.

“Just in a funk, that’s all,” he breathed. “Thanks for coming to get me, though.”

“Let’s just pray we don’t get caught.”

“We won’t get caught, he’s doing some kind of new deal today. I heard him on the phone a while ago about some record label he was thinking of buying.”

“A record label? How many businesses does the guy own now, like five?”

“I stopped keeping track. Anyway, Dolores is probably managing today.”

“Oh, thank God,” she sighed. “You had me so worried when you didn’t show up on time. I was ready to get fired for leaving during my shift. At least we don’t have to worry about it now.”

Willie didn’t respond. He knew Quetzal was one of those people who would go out on a limb for anyone, but it still surprised him when she did it for him. He never felt deserving. As they parked at the diner and hurried out of the car, he shook his head. It wasn’t always successful but he always hoped it worked like an Etch-A-Sketch, to get rid of the many things cluttering up his brain.

That was it. Enter the kitchen, punch in, grab an apron, and he was in his corner by the dishwasher again. He ignored the eyes of everyone else who clearly wanted to express their upset by his tardiness.  He was there now, right? Heaven forbid. Willie’s mind, of course, only remained cleared from the shaking for a few minutes. As he got into the groove of spraying and moving things into the industrial trays, he tried to remember more details of the dream, but most had been forgotten. All that was left were sirens and lights.

He’d walked back home at the end of his long shift, since he hadn’t taken his board like usual in the morning. That also meant he couldn’t go to the bodega for lunch, and he desperately needed to check on Sheldon. Willie had peeked into the house and called to see if Caleb was home at all. His own voice echoed back followed by silence. Taking that as a confirmation the man was still busy, he gathered his board and helmet and made his way out to the street.

The wind wasn’t its usual soothing sensation against his face. Willie knew he was tired, but was disappointed to feel that the one thing that felt most freeing to him wasn’t doing its job. It should’ve been enough to lose his thoughts to the sound of the low roll from the wheels, only interrupted by the gentle clacks here and there. There was too much noise inside of him. Suddenly, he understood why Alex had chosen to play drums.

Sheldon was already pattering toward him as he came through the doorway. Scooping the cat into his arms, he held him close and stroked his fur in an attempt to find some comfort. When he started purring, Willie made a little sigh of relief.

“Busy day?” Escobar asked as he organized a shelf.

Willie only nodded. Sheldon was rubbing his head against his face, and it did more to soothe him than the wind.

“Sorry I didn’t come for lunch,” he apologized. “I haven’t been doing my part for Sheldon and I owe you.”

“I would like it if you could be around more,’ Escobar said. “But he’s a pretty good cat, so it isn’t too much, amigo.”

Nodding again, Willie finally heard the music playing in the background. Was it…?

“I thought you were tired of their songs,” he commented.

Escobar shrugged.

“Eh, I had an idea you wanted to listen to them. And they’re not all too bad.”

A surprised giggle came from Willie’s throat, and he smiled for probably the first time that day. He went to give Sheldon some food and let his mind replace the red and blue lights with soft green eyes.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Do you have any HCs for Merula?

So. So many. Long post ahead. Very long post. With many thoughts. Many, many thoughts about the best witch at Hogwarts. Proceed with caution. 

Let’s start with her childhood. Her early childhood. Her parents were probably akin to the Malfoys. They taught her bad life lessons, but I do not believe they were abusive. I think they genuinely loved her. I also notice how callous she is about Voldemort - being one of the few characters to actually speak his name, at all of eleven years old. My belief is that Merula’s parents were involved less because they cared about blood supremacy and more because they were attracted to the power and freedoms they thought they could have as Death Eaters. To practice dark magic, to be feared and respected by the community. 

Merula seems to have absorbed all of that in full. She seems to view the world as a division between the strong and the weak, not the good and the evil. Law of the jungle, kill or be killed. The Death Eater ideology. Merula may spout Pure-blood bigotry, but I guarantee you she doesn’t actually give a damn about blood status. It’s just an easy short-cut to dominate people in social situations, which is something she clings to. Because she’s weak, and she knows it. But she’s been taught to respect power and to embody it. Merula is trying to fake it until she makes it. I also think she doesn’t have any respect for Voldemort at all, thinks of him as a failure - he was supposedly killed by a baby, after all. 

But Merula is also highly insecure about her own talents, even if she always defaults to overselling them. After her parents went to Azkaban, she must have been spiraling. Looking for something or someone to latch onto. A purpose. Her aunt is supposedly watching her but that clearly isn’t the case. She cuts her own hair. She dresses herself - half her clothes don’t fit and she wears more make-up than some of the seventh years. Merula may not have known it, but I think all she wanted was to be loved, and she wasn’t get that from her aunt, or anyone. So she defaulted. Defaulted to trying to gain power. And oh look, what’s that in the Daily Prophet? This Jacob character, and his quest to open the Cursed Vaults? This was her opportunity. Her chance to prove herself. Unlike Jacob and Voldemort, those pathetic failures, Merula could make a name for herself. She will be the best witch at Hogwarts. If she has to cram that down everyone’s throats, she will be. 

There was only one problem. Jacob had a sibling. From jump, they had the advantage over her, not that she would ever admit it. Merula must have calculated that Jacob’s Sibling would know more about the Vaults than her. For all she knew, Jacob left them a road map. Not only that, on her first day of trying to assert herself against Rowan, Jacob’s Sibling interrupted and was not scared of her, at all. They had already won over Rowan, and they did not hesitate to tell Snape what Merula was doing. I believe from the moment, Merula feared them, envied them, and though she would never admit it to herself, admired them. It only got worse when they escaped the Devil’s Snare, and stood up to her while she was bullying the one person who her intimidation scheme had actually worked on, Ben Copper. 

Lots of people hate Merula for the Devil’s Snare scheme, but what did we expect? She was raised by two Death Eaters, and she’s seen them kill Aurors before. Of course her Plan A was to kill Jacob’s Sibling. Of course she wanted to ruin Jacob’s reputation. She’s trying to emulate her mother, I bet you anything. I bet you anything that she’s wearing her mother’s makeup. Perhaps even her old clothes. That being said, I also think Merula has very conflicted feelings about her mother. Because her parents failed - they were taken to Azkaban. I’m willing to bet that Merula hasn’t spoken to them since. But she wants to. She keeps trying to write them letters, and crosses everything out. Maybe she’s waiting for them to send a letter first. Hoping that they will, even if she won’t admit it. Feeling hurt that they haven’t. There’s always visitation, but who’s going to take her on a trip to Azkaban? Are children even allowed to visit there? Even if they are, she has no one to take her. Speaking of that, let’s talk about Dementors. 

What does Merula hear when Dementors are nearby? Actually, we could talk about all of her magical signatures. My head-canon for her wand is Holly and Dragon Heartstring. Yes, I do think she has the same wand wood as Harry James Potter. It tends to lean to people who are “impetuous” and prone to anger. I think Merula’s Boggart would likely be something to do with Jacob’s Sibling, at least in the early days. They were the one standing in the way of her goals. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they were involved with her Erised vision as well, perhaps something to do with them and her parents. Post Portrait Vault, we know what Merula’s Boggart would be. And we know what she would hear when Dementors are close. But prior to the Portrait Vault? She definitely hears the arrest of her parents, and the trial...she was, after all, present for it. Come to think of it...what if she was there as a witness? Not willingly, of course. Too young to understand what was going on, bullied into giving testimony about that auror that her parents killed...Merula’s Worst Memory, perhaps? Well, at least until the Portrait Vault, anyway. 

Tulip Karasu. Oh my, Tulip Karasu. She, like Merula’s parents, is one of a few people who would ultimately challenge her worldview. Merula loves her parents and misses them, despite their “failure” embodying everything that she tries to reject. Along comes Tulip - someone brilliant. A loner like Merula. They’re two shady little oddballs and they gravitate to each other. The admiration is mutual, and unlike with Jacob’s Sibling, Merula doesn’t feel as much reluctance to enjoy Tulip’s company. But she still doesn’t let all her walls down. She won’t admit Tulip is her friend, even if they’ve become best mates. I think both of these two characters changed each other, a bit. That a little of Tulip rubbed off on Merula, and vice-versa. When the betrayal happened, like so many other traumatic events in Merula’s life, it set her back. She regressed. Bonds make a person weak. People, associates, are only good for one thing - using them to further your own ends. This is what Merula learned. This is what Tulip unfortunately taught her. That being said, I don’t think it meant nothing to her when Tulip become friends with MC. Followed by Barnaby. This is where her envy of Jacob’s Sibling would probably reach a boiling point. Where she (almost justifiably) might feel as though they were taking everything from her. However horrible Merula might have behaved, no one wants to hear they are terrible in all of the ways their rival is great. 

While all of this is happening, I think Merula continued to try and flex. To prove herself. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried out for Quidditch every year to honor her parents, and either didn’t make the team outright, or was disqualified for trying to sabotage other participants. All the while, she continues to show-boat and flex. I bet her favorite Quidditch team is the Falmouth Falcons, who are famous for being violent and playing dirty. (Look them up, they’re exactly her kind of people.) Speaking of that, ever wonder what her relationship was like with Felix? Or Snape? We know that Felix defends her and calls MC a bully if you trick him for the Common Room break-in during Year 2. Anyone with half a brain knows that’s not what’s happening, and I’m sure Felix does too. He knows what Merula gets up to. But he lies and defends her, however much she might drive him crazy, because she is still his charge. Because Slytherins take care of their own. I’d imagine the same thing is true with Snape. He cannot stand Merula, but he will still try to look out for her or clean up her messes when he can, because she’s one of the snakes. Remember when he said “I genuinely wish you weren’t lying.” He doesn’t want to punish Merula. Not like he does MC. Merula is clearly the obnoxious little sister of Slytherin house. 

Along comes Year 4. Along comes Patricia Rakepick. Strap in everybody, it’s time to get to heart of Merula’s problems. Mainly her mommy issues. Because Rakepick is, or at least appears to be, everything that Merula wishes she could be. This is someone she can emulate, like she did her mother. Someone she can idolize without any of that confused anger that she has toward MC - who, at the same time, she is growing fond of, whether she admits it to herself or not. Rakepick essentially represents everything that her parents used to be, and could have been, had they not “failed.” Merula herself draws the comparison. This isn’t lost on Rakepick, and she makes use of it. There’s no way that Rakepick’s comparison to the Curse-Breaking apprentice team of Year 5 being like a “family” wasn’t done for Merula’s benefit. Merula hears that, and she feels accepted. She feels loved. Like she’s part of a family again. It’s dysfunctional and weird, but that’s all she knows. She doesn’t just want to emulate Rakepick and learn to be powerful like her...she wants to earn Rakepick’s approval, to make her proud. To “win” the love of a mother figure. I believe Tulip’s suspicion, Tulip’s ability to see what was really going on, unfortunately only pushed Merula further away from her and closer to her new “family.” 

Speaking of pushing people away, it’s about time we talked about Ismelda Murk. About the friendship that was formed out of mutual convenience, rather than actual chemistry. By the end of Year 3, these two loners don’t have anyone else. But they don’t click the way that Merula did with Tulip. Ismelda doesn’t have the talents or the passion that Merula admired in Tulip, and Ismelda has far less patience for Merula’s show-boating. But they were all each other had, at least at first. Then Merula completely dropped Ismelda in favor of her new “family” because she was feeling emotional fulfillment and didn’t “need” Ismelda anymore. Most of this would be unconscious, but that would be the motivator. Considering that Ismelda started hanging out with Beatrice in Year 6, and Merula is rarely involved, I think it’s safe to say the two of them never recovered from that distance. 

Meanwhile, Merula is having the time of her life with her new family. With her annoying but mostly harmless older brother Bill. With her long-time rival turned sort-of friend now acting as a sibling figure. A sibling figure...who she has romantic tension with. (Hey, I did say that it was dysfunctional. That’s almost certainly on purpose.) And then there’s her amazing, badass new mom. Everything is shaping up for Merula. She’s going to be the Best Witch at Hogwarts, the greatest Curse-Breaker the world has ever known. All she has to do is emulate. Try to be just like the amazing Patricia Rakepick. Our poor child truly believed all this. Then the Portrait Vault happened. Look, we need to face that however fun the dynamic might have been, however “cool” mentor-Rakepick was...it was never a truly good thing. It wouldn’t be, even if she wasn’t a villain. Rakepick was never cut out to look after children, beyond grooming them into being lawless explorers like her. And honestly? She was completely open about that. But that’s just what Merula wanted. It’s what she thought she needed. She wouldn’t gravitate to someone like Flitwick, or McGonagall. No, she’d want someone like her parents. Someone powerful, who doesn’t play by the rules. Someone cool. Like Rakepick, or Jacob. (We’ll get to that.) 

So imagine how much it completely shattered her world when Rakepick did what she did. The Cruciatus Curse is one thing. It’s unspeakable. But I guarantee you the real damage was done with Rakepick’s words. “Merula thinks she’s my favorite? Is she anyone’s?” I promise you those words cut through Merula like a knife - because there was a lot of truth to them. Every time that MC or one of their peers told Merula how horrible she was. Every time someone chose MC over her. All of that insecurity upended with just a few simple words. But it’s so much worse than that. This is worse than Tulip’s betrayal, not just on the scale, not just because it happened a second time...but because this is a mother figure, something Merula desperately wanted and needed. For the second time in her life, she’s losing that...and being made to feel responsible for it. After all, shouldn’t she have “known better” than to let her walls down? Didn’t she know better than to show weakness? Vulnerability? Rakepick is reinforcing all the wrong lessons with this betrayal. She is setting Merula back countless steps. Anyone would regress after this and Merula was in such a fragile state of development. She was making baby steps to being a better person. But then all of good that came out of this weird family unit was washed away. Merula had the rug pulled out from  under her once again, and there’s nothing she hates and fears more than being in that position. 

Why do you think she becomes so desperate to have revenge when all is said and done? What else does Merula have at this point? What else can she latch onto, what else can she default to? Just like when she lost her parents, and was spiraling...she needed something. A purpose. So she wouldn’t go mad. So she wouldn’t have to properly confront all of his trauma. Make no mistake, Merula is not in touch with how she’s really feeling right now. She’s displacing it, putting it in a box and sticking with what she knows. Anger. Domination. Power. These are the only ways that she knows how to navigate the world. If you can’t do that, you fail, and it’s your own fault. That’s what she believes, and after what Rakepick put her through, why wouldn’t she? Merula doesn’t want revenge. She feels like she needs it. Rakepick “defeated” her, and that sits in her heart, tied to the betrayal. She thinks if she can kill Rakepick, she can put all this behind her. But of course she can’t, of course that’s not how it works. Even if Merula was powerful enough to finish off Rakepick, and even if she wasn’t investigated for it, it wouldn’t make her happy. She would just feel empty. And I think she knows that too, on some level. But she can’t admit it to herself. She’s regressed, and the lack of self-awareness is almost heart-breaking. She’s latched onto Jacob in the same way that she did Rakepick. Rejected any affection with Jacob’s Sibling as well, probably because she associates them with Rakepick, emotionally. That positive bond was part of the whole “apprentice” team, that Rakepick founded. What’s more, she’s learned her lesson about being vulnerable with people. What if the next person to betray Merula, is MC? After what happened, how does she know that they won’t be? Better not to risk it. 

You might notice two phrases that I’ve been using a lot. “She would never admit it to herself.” and “She defaulted to-” Because that’s kind of Merula’s whole deal. She has a pathological aversion to looking vulnerable, which she’s unable to reconcile with the reality that we can’t always avoid that. She’s in denial. She also associates cruelty with strength. She associates empathy and kindness with being “weak.” This is why she tries so hard to be a bully. She’s trying to be dominant. It’s what she defaults to, as I’ve said. But she’s only human. Let’s be honest, she’s not cold-hearted or emotionless. She isn’t sadistic. She ‘s a wounded child, who has shown time and again that she has feelings - she definitely felt something for characters like Tulip, Rakepick, and MC. But to admit that is to admit vulnerability. To apologize for anything she’s done, however sorry she might actually be, to admit she’s wrong -about anything - is to admit vulnerability Merula just can’t do that. Everything she’s ever learned...from her parents. From Tulip. From Rakepick. 

[nicknellie]

I hope that this didn’t take too much time to do so that you were able to get your schoolwork!! This is definitely after the fact but I wish you the best of luck with your work.

(Accidentally forgot to answer about Reggie having a box similar to Rose’s so I’m going to do that briefly)

1. Unlike Rose’s box which was going to be used by someone else Reggie’s was just going to be used by himself also probably only looked at by the rest of Sunset Curve so he probably didn’t think/care about what it was going to look like.

2. The fact that Reggie would go to Luke’s parents and ask for baby pictures is perfection. Also the fact that he just casually stole a box of baby photos and or has pictures of a random baby (if it’s not Bobby) is hilarious and I was laughing so hard at that.

3. Yes, and that would explain that why Reggie didn’t recognize the box at first just because it was a mindless one he made, maybe not even one of his boxes that he put thought into it (what photos/items should I use ect) but just random stuff

Now onto this post (just starting at 2 so the numbers line up)

2. Yes, maybe the guys don’t even get a chance to ask him what’s wrong but Reggie randomly blurts this out and then about five minutes later they’re all crying. Bobby forces all of them to talk, even Alex.

3. Yes that’s exactly what I mean! Just because although he does have his moments of indecisiveness he’s mostly not really an indecisive person so once he believes in some thing he stands with it 100%. For sure, if someone (usually Alex) points out why/how he was wrong Luke will admit that he was wrong (depending on the reasoning it’s mostly begrudgingly)

4. You took the words right out of my mouth and I also love the fact that you said that it’s usually when he’s writing and not in general, because I feel like outside of writing Luke tries to be as conscious as he can about his bandmates well-being and stuff. (‘Luke, once again you are not a solo artist if that was the case then Reggie would already have a country album out and me and Bobby would make our own little band of ourselves just to spite you’ Alex at some point)

5. Alex definitely has quick wit, however a lot of time he just doesn’t say it (unless it’s the boys)

6. Oh, that’s just hurtful thinking about that. After they passed Bobby was never the same, especially since everything that he loved and did had so many memories of the boys that for the longest time he couldn’t do some of them without thinking of them. Also when he went to the garage he was so overwhelmed with memories and the fact that they would never be anymore Sunset Curve memories.

8. Yes, I love that so much. Also I think part of the reason why the police alerted Emily and Mitch was because Luke was supposed to be a missing person so once Bobby confirmed that the body was Luke’s that’s when they were reached out too (long shot but just thinking)

The Rubik’s cube aw, maybe that’s the one thing that Bobby took just to remember them (a drawing of Reggie’s and a small jigsaw of Alex’s)

10. The theme park idea is genius, and I love the detail of Reggie feeling like a proud parent although the boys would gladly go onto a ride that Reggie is comfortable with (for some reason he loves roller coasters as long as they up closer to the ground, with being afraid of heights definitely not not something that goes up high). However Reggie doesn’t want to be a problem and has no issue watching them for a ride or two, hence the feeling of being like a parent.

Yes, and although Alex can tell that it’s a lie, Reggie gets rather emotional about it. (Reggie might have been the one who gave him the drink with the 6 shots of toffee nut and burst out into tears upon realizing)

11. That’s exactly what they are like, I feel like people may be able to tell that Reggie is lying however that’s a normal thing that he does so he easily could not be. (He is)

Luke “where is your kitchen by the way?” Patterson is the great thing I’ve seen. (yes Bobby is so causal to a point that it’s very obvious that it’s not causal hence for it being easy to tell that he’s lying)

13. Phew, wasn’t sure if I would be able to get the link to work or not so I’m glad that it was! (They are so talented, and that is such a great drawing of Reggie in my opinion)

Line dancing, yes also they random break out into square dancing. (Also the boys in cowboy hats and cowboy boots, all the fashion, is an image that I never thought I would need in my life)

14. I’m glad that you liked it! Also yess, also I just want to see one of the boys kind of make fun of Caleb with the devil point of view (bonus points if ‘nick’ is there and has to see everything)

Also I completely forgot to comment this last time, but Reggie is a huge Johnny Cash fan and those three songs are his favorite from the artist. (They are the most played songs and whenever the other boys hear them they are so done but eventually start singing along)

15. Also just randomly has Star Wars characters in the drawing, for the longest time a small Han-solo is what he used instead of a signature.

16. Wait yes I love that. I wasn’t thinking along those lines but that’s exact what happens. Reggie would also be the one who always tried to eat the batter (as does Luke and technically they are both banned from the kitchen)

17. Oh my goodness young Alex. I completely agree with what you said, also picturing a baby Alex with frosting all over his face from baking gone wrong

19. Yes, also Reggie randomly has the boys join him for dancing in the rain (thought of that due to the fact that you said rain is relaxing so Reggie would just always want to be out in the rain but not when it’s storming)

20. This is literally it’s the mindset of anyone who meets Alex

Even Willie gets on board, especially when he fell off his board (worst line I’ve ever said but Willie would be the pun making type of person)

Also if it was for anyone else then Emily and Mitch wouldn’t let them however since it’s Alex exactly as you said ‘boys let’s get in the car’

21. Yes, Alex always randomly shows up. Even has his own key for whenever he needs to stay there but no one is around, honestly Mitch doesn’t have a lot of characteristics (I mean the song is mostly focused on Luke’s mom and stuff) so him being a supportive father figure is everything

23. Agreed, I want all of this. Honestly anything and everything Rose is needed

24. I just want more performances from both actors because they are fantastic. Also the fact that Flying Solo didn’t have Flynn singing at all was a lost opportunity to be honest. Not sure if you’ve seen lemonade mouth however with Flynn as their rapper they would be that band

Willie and Alex singing together is everything I need, just a duet needs to be in season 2. Also we were robbed of them dancing and I blame Caleb, so them dancing is also needed in season two.

Exactly, Flynn is so loyal and we need more of her (also her and Carrie moments)

25. I agree I think it took him sometime to go to therapy. (Possibly when he had Carrie just because he didn’t want to fail as a father and thought it would help him stress less about being a father, also raising a kid with no support from his friends that would’ve definitely helped out)

26. Wait yes, I want to see all of this as well. Especially him explaining his actions and apologizing, and that idea of him being their manger is brilliant. Going on with that, just like with Sunset Curve he books the gigs and stuff and Flynn is their social media manger (just because she can not be apart of the band somehow)

27. I didn’t think about that fully but yes, the fact that Julie is getting older and he’s not would definitely hurt him

28. I love those songs titles, we also have ‘if you wake me up at 4AM again it will not be nice’ ‘Bobby I don’t care how much I love your pieces if you keep leaving your yarn in random places I will scream’

30. Yes, yes, that is precisely what happens and the only way Ray should find out that the boys are ghosts. Tia Victoria does react that and her and Alex bonding is everything (also her and Willie bonding because)

31. There are so many ruined photos and Reggie being so upset about it which is exactly what causes Bobby to master the skill.

32. Alex always has about five stickers, some that are for Reggie and a handful that fans also give to Alex because they can. Legitimately Sunset curves fan base is so supportive and one of the best boy band fan base ever. Luke was once given a portrait of the bandmembers as animals and it is probably framed somewhere, also Bobby has one that someone painted of the band. Honestly the reason why Alex was probably given a jigsaw is because Reggie randomly said that he liked them to a fan and they just had to give one to Alex.

34. Yes, Luke also got stuck in a fridge once much to everyone’s confusion. Him randomly being in a suit of armour is the greatest thing I have ever heard

35. Willie is extremely photogenic, yes. Legitimately Reggie has so many pictures of Willie and Alex and Willie being photogenic has just cause Reggie to take even more. And once this discovery is made, on the photography account there’s a lot more photos of someone skateboarding (also just in general photos of Willie). Just photo shoots with Reggie, like everyone has had one at some point (even Carlos)

37. Alex just gives Julie a massive hug, all of the time and especially when she is sad. Also she definitely takes that hoodie, all of them take his hoodies. Legitimately by this point it’s not just Alex‘s clothes it is the bands (also Flynn has a hoodie) (Willie has takes hoodies)

39. Wait yes, (possibly could’ve been Trevor who gave Carrie that idea for costumes because he remembers when Sunset Curve did). All of those colours fit so well, also I can kind of see Bobby is yellow. They definitely have matching onesies, like two or three pairs to be honest.

Best photo ever, that is exactly what they look like

40. Alex teaching Willie how to dance is adorable and I’m just thinking about how cute that would be. Due to seeing Willie dance during ‘the other side of Hollywood’ Alex thinks that he would be able to waltz pretty well (at least be a better beginner than the rest of the band who can’t dance) and then is mistaken very quickly

This is just me saying the boys about 100 times because I can’t say three names together apparently 😂😂

You know the drill, under the keep reading 😂

I did manage to do my school work thankfully! We won’t mention the fact that I handed in every single piece late, but I don’t really think that’s my fault, it’s theirs for not explaining how all this was going to work. Anyway! Not the point! I keep getting so excited to respond to these lmao let’s gooo!

1. Yeah exactly, he was probably more concerned with just finding something to hold all his random bits and pieces. Or I just thought right now it could be like not just a “normal box” but maybe like an old case for his bass? Like he got a nice newer one and needed something to do with the older one, and it had locks so that was handy, so he just uses it for that. Or another type of less boring box maybe idk

2. Lmao yeah I laughed so hard when I came up with it and I like I totally think he would! Like if he couldn’t find real Bobby photos (I reckon there weren’t many anyway) then he just got those and Bobby was like “Reggie that baby looks nothing like me” and Reggie just shrugs like “close enough”

3. Yeah exactly! As if he’s only just starting to make the box and is putting whatever in it, not just the things that mean something

Ok now non-box-related stuff lol

2. Yesss omg I love that. They’re just in the middle of playing through a song and Alex notices that Reggie is slowly dropping out and turning distant and he stops drumming (which makes the other two stop playing as well) but before any of them can ask Reggie what’s up he just kind of explodes. Tears all round, mostly Luke because he’s so guiltily relieved it’s not just him feeling like this

3. Totally! Alex points out all the logical stuff and Luke is just frowning the whole time like a furious puppy, and when Alex is finished he just says “right Luke?” and Luke just keeps scowling but nods at him. Doesn’t work if Reggie or Bobby try it, it does work when Julie does it, and surprisingly also works when Willie does it (because Willie is really good at reading people, as seen with Alex, so he knows how to approach any situation like that)

4. Yes exactly Luke is so caring (like in ep 7 when Alex is practically attacking his drums and he just gives a quick “hey Alex you alright?”) it’s just sometimes he lets his passion get in the way, that’s usually where music comes in! And omg that’s so perfect lmaooo I live for Alex kindly telling Luke off to get him back on track I love it

5. Yeah he knows the boys won’t take him seriously but he’s more careful around other people - the first time he says something sarcastic to Julie that he meant as a joke he worries for like a split second but then she immediately comes back with something terrible (because we all know Julie is terrible at comebacks and does not have Alex’s quick wit) and from then on they have this friendly-mean banter going back and forth between them

6. Yes exactlyyy 🥺😭 I feel like he went back to the garage once and then either he couldn’t make himself go back there ever again OR he couldn’t make himself leave for a long time and stayed there alone for days on end - either way he suffered a lot, being alone with his thoughts and his guilt. He started trying to talk to the boys - like Julie talking to her mum when she runs out of the Orpheum in ep 9. “I don’t know if you can hear me guys, but I am so sorry. I’m sorry I let you down, that I wasn’t there, that I can’t make this right. I miss you so much and... I don’t know what I’m ever going to do without you.”

8. Ohhh yes that makes way more sense actually, I like that a lot! They probably just passed Bobby as he was leaving the morgue and they were coming in to see Luke and that hurts to think about actually oh god. And yesss he so took the Rubik’s Cube and for a long time he would fiddle with it when nervous; he never managed to solve it though, not even once

10. Yes definitely!! He loves rides like the Spinning Teacups (or whatever variation they have at the theme park of that ride) and it’s Luke who will sit out on that one because the spinning makes him feel ill. He’s less happy to sit out than Reggie is because he worries he’ll miss out on the fun, but he’d rather not vomit everywhere. Now it looks like I’m going off on a theme park tangent so I’m just gonna let it happen - Alex adores rides, there’s nothing he won’t go on. Like he’s unafraid even though people would expect them to hate it but he knows they’ve been tested and they’re safe so he’s more than happy to spend all day on the biggest rides. Bobby likes water-based rides and logflumes and stuff like that - they always make sure they go on those at the end of the day because they have to do it for Bobby but they don’t want to walk around soaking wet all day. Reggie likes getting/taking photos with all the dressed up mascots wandering around, Luke is thrilled by any interactive rides (except ghost trains because we’ve already established he hates horror movies and he thinks it’s like being in a horror movie), Alex also really enjoys just wandering around the big park and seeing people have a good time, and Bobby actually likes co-ordinating their day and making sure everyone gets to do what they want to

Yes I can totally see that! Like Reggie somehow didn’t know what one of his best friends was allergic to and felt so guilty afterwards. It’s a sore spot, they can’t bring it up or he’ll just start crying and hugging Alex for hours on end. Reggie will say “I’m so sorry Alex I could have killed you that day!” and Alex just goes “dude we all died anyway”

11. With Reggie it always turns into a game of “is he lying or is this actually some totally messed up thing he really did?” The most difficult time anyone’s ever had to figure it out was when he said he’d met Queen Elizabeth - like yeah it’s unlikely but it’s definitely the sort of thing Reggie would somehow accidentally do so??? (It was a lie, but not on purpose - he thought he had met her but it was just some random old lady at a store)

13. Omg yes!!! I feel like they just get bored during the day and Luke would just go “hey Reggie, come and Dosey Doe with me” and it would turn into all four of them dancing around the studio. And yes I think out of all the unlikely things I want in season 2 full cowboy outfits is very high up on my list

14. Ahskfldo YES Nick witnessing the entire thing!! Assuming lifers still can’t see the boys next season it’ll be so funny if Nick can see them because obviously he’s actually Caleb so he has to mentally restrain himself from reacting at all to them mocking him because he can’t reveal himself. So it’s just Nick shaking with anger and Julie saying “Nick? You okay?” and how biting back something mean about the boys and growling “fine” instead. And yes 100% Reggie plays those songs on repeat and the guys pretend to hate them but they can’t deny good music when they hear it so they do join in

15. THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER OMG THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT! A tiny Han Solo in the corner of every piece, no matter if it’s Star Wars or not omg I love it I will never get over this

16. Yes lmao both of them are trying to sneak around Alex and duck under his arms to get at the batter and he’s just like “GUYS I am literally using an electric whisk, are you trying to get your fingers chopped off? Don’t even answer that, you’re banished from the kitchen, goodbye. Go annoy Bobby instead”

17. That is so cute omfg and like all over his clothes and in his hair. He just looks an utter mess but he’s smiling so wide and is the cutest baby ever (he was easily the cutest baby out of Sunset Curve, Reggie as a close second)

19. Wait yes I love that! Reggie’s just like “y’know it’s a lovely day outside d’you want to go dance with me” and Alex just goes “Reg it’s tipping it down. Of course” and it takes a while but Luke and Bobby eventually join them. Lots of splashing in puddles because the four of them are literal children and think it’s funny

20. That is the greatest thing ever andkdllf and I love how that was literally my reaction after episode 1 of the show too like wow Alex really is just that lovable. That pun as well I literally laughed out loud - I’ve reblogged/added to a post a while ago where I said Reggie and Willie communicate with each other only in ghost puns so I wholeheartedly support that. And exactly! If Luke suggested throwing eggs at anyone else’s house he would be sent to his room but he mentions it’s the Mercers’ and Emily just goes “I think we’re out of eggs, I’ll need to go shopping first, come on”

21. Yes omg idk why but the image of Alex having his own key is the sweetest thing ever - maybe because it symbolises him finally having a place to call home?? And yes I totally agree, Mitch doesn’t have a lot of characteristics (I wrote a massive list before where I made a load of headcanons about him because he didn’t have enough screen time lol) and he would develop so much if he took Alex under his wing

24. Omg yes you read my mind! She so should have had a verse in Flying Solo! Like thinking about it it’s totally plausible that Julie read her the poem before and Flynn, being Flynn, wanted to add her own verse about how much she loves Julie and how she’ll always be there for her! Or she could have at least like added harmonies or something?? Idk it’s just that Flynn is in the music program too and frankly I’d like to see her do a little more music. And I haven’t seen Lemonade Mouth but I did see a commentary video about it on YouTube (I think it was I’M LEMONADE MOUTH by Danny Gonzalez if you’re interested (but that might not be the title idk)) and if I’m remembering it right then YES absolutely! And yes exactly Willie would have danced with him if Caleb hadn’t made him leave! I’m still really angry about that because just think about how much fun they would have had together!!!!

25. Omg yes! I love that, I agree that it was because of Carrie being born that made him finally go. He wanted to be strong for her now that he finally had a second (third I guess?) chance at getting family life right and he knew he wasn’t in the right state of mind for it. And omg that mental image 🥺 if the boys had lived they would have been Uncle Luke, Uncle Alex, and Uncle Reggie to Carrie (and possibly even to Julie if they stayed friends with Rose too) and they would have raised her and maybe she would have grown up to be a little nicer and she and Julie and Flynn would have all stayed friends 🥺😭

26. Yes yes yes!! He gets back into his role of managing the band and even though the boys haven’t totally forgiven him he still finds himself able to write good music again and make jewellery again and he steps foot in the garage for the first time in decades because he has his band back and he feels so much happier and freer and he’s just ecstatic to have another chance!

28. Lmfao yes those are perfect! “Bobby I don’t care how much I love your pieces if you keep leaving your yarn in random places I will scream” was written after Reggie tripped over a bit of yarn that was somehow stretched all the way across the garage like a trap and when he fell he somehow managed to get totally tangled up in in

30. Omg yeah I can totally see her and Willie bonding!! I feel like Willie is kind of like an old soul and can just get along with everyone but he takes a special liking to Victoria for whatever reason and loves finding ways to talk to her

32. Yes! Sunset Curve just have the nicest, friendliest fan base and everyone is kind and respectful and all they want to do is give them stickers and fanart! Luke absolutely adores that portrait omg so Reggie and Luke would be puppies, I feel like Bobby could be a cat, and Alex would be something like an owl or something idk but they just are all captured as whatever the perfect animal for them and it’s adorable. Yeah you’re right I think Reggie just likes talking to fans and casually mentions it one day and the fans show up to the next gig with a 1000-piece puzzle for Alex

34. In a fridge omg I love it that’s brilliant. The boys laughed at him for a solid hour before helping him get out

35. Yes to all of that I love it!!! I also thought about Ray helping out - like he can’t see Reggie, but he goes along to all these photoshoots (and mostly can’t see who they’re taking pictures of either) and helps with angles and lighting and says well done to Reggie whenever he does a good job - Ray can’t see but Reggie smiles so wide at that

37. Ahsklfskdlfl yeah Alex has no hoodies left because they’ve all gone to a different band member or Flynn or Willie

39. YES OH MY GOD. When Carrie was just starting Dirty Candi she was saying about how she needed something to make them stand out and Trevor just immediately said “matching outfits, colour co-ordinated” without even thinking about it

40. Oh absolutely - but at some point Alex has to wonder if Willie is tripping so often because he can’t dance or so that Alex is forced to catch him. Willie is very eager to learn how to do lifts and stuff like that (even though it’s been years since even Alex did them) and he thinks it’ll be romantic. It is, but not because the lift is like this perfect moment, because it’s them messing up and being silly and just enjoying each other’s company 🥺

Not gonna lie this whole post might be my favourite we’ve made so far 😂

[starwarsnonsense]

Best Films of 2019 (So Far)

It’s that time of year again! As most of my followers probably know, I’m an avid cinema-goer beyond Star Wars. I also quite enjoy making lists, so what’s better than a combo of the two? Below, I run down my top 10 films of 2019 so far - please note that this list is based on UK cinema release dates, so some of these films were 2018 releases elsewhere.

What are your favourites so far from this year? Let me know in replies/asks!

Honourable mentions: Toy Story 4, Long Shot, Aladdin, Alita: Battle Angel & The Kid Who Would Be King

1. The Favourite, dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

This completely wowed me - it features a trio of magnificently compelling female characters (played by Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone) operating at the court of Queen Anne (Colman is Anne, Weisz and Stone are courtiers), and is focused solely on the shifting sands of the power dynamics between them. The script is savage without sacrificing poignancy, witty without ceasing to be genuine. And while I’ve seen some react to this film as a comedy (and it certainly has laughs, most of which are closely tied to shock), for me it was very clearly a drama about the inscrutable and complicated relationships that exist between women. Specifically, it is about how those relationships run the gamut from sincere affinity to ruthless manipulation. This is an amazing movie, and it also has the best use of an Elton John song in 2019 (sorry, Rocketman!).

2. Midsommar, dir. Ari Aster

I went into this film with reservations, since I wasn’t a huge fan of Hereditary (by the same director), which I found to have extraordinary moments but iffy execution overall. This movie, however, wowed me, and I am still uncertain as to whether this or The Favourite is my top film of 2019 so far (fortunately, this gives me a good excuse to watch Midsommar three or four times in cinemas). While marketed as a freaky cult horror film, the director has described it as a fairy tale, which is the level on which is spoke to me. Midsommar follows Dani (an incredible Florence Pugh), a young woman who has suffered a terrible loss, as she travels with her boyfriend and his friends to a pagan festival in the Swedish countryside. Dani is painfully isolated, and her grief is hers to shoulder alone since her boyfriend is un-receptive and distinctly unprepared to help her. Over the course of the film, destruction and creation are conflated in ways that are frequently beautiful and horrific at the same time - this film spoke to me on a profound level, and the way it ended gave me a sense of incredible catharsis. This won’t be for everyone, for I found it to be a deeply special film and I can’t recommend it enough.

3. One Cut of the Dead, dir.  Shinichirou Ueda

While I went into The Favourite with high expectations given the talent involved, I went into this with no expectations whatsoever - and what a treat it was! One Cut of the Dead is easily one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in ears, taking what initially seems like a trite concept (a crew is filming a zombie movie at a desolate location ... only to discover that the zombies are real!) and twisting it in a truly ingenious way. The comedy is often of the broad variety, but it is consistently delightful and always manages to avoid becoming crass - the movie even has some really sweet family dynamics at the centre of it, which gives it some real emotional heft. The success of this film is heavily reliant on a major twist that occurs part-way through, so the best advice I can give you is to stay as far away from spoilers for this one as possible - go in blind, and you will be amply rewarded for your faith.

4. The Farewell, dir. Lulu Wang

I saw this following a wave of festival hype, so while I was excited I was also a bit apprehensive (since I have been burned by the aforementioned festival hype before). Thankfully, my doubts were blown away as this turned out to be just as wonderful as the early reviews had suggested. It’s a personal story about a young Asian-American woman (Awkwafina) struggling to reconcile her heritage with her current situation and values - specifically, she is tested when her grandmother is diagnosed with terminal cancer and the wider family make the decision to hide the truth from her. The Farewell does a fantastic job of generating empathy for all the different perspectives and positions in play, but it’s truly anchored by Awkwafina’s amazingly nuanced and tender performance - basically, anyone who’s ever loved a grandparent should leave this feeling incredibly moved and inspired. The themes of The Farewell are both specific to the Asian-American experience and general to anyone who has struggled with maintaining bonds over a vast distance, whether physical or cultural.           

5. Booksmart, dir. Olivia Wilde

God, how I wish I’d had this movie as a teenager! While Booksmart has a cliched premise - two high-achieving teens decide to have one wild night before graduation - it tells the story in an incredibly charming and impressively creative way (I won’t spoil it, but let me just say this - that scene with the Barbies!). As someone who was an awkward nerd with no discernible social life in high school (as you Americans call it), I found this portrayal of that peculiar limbo period very sensitive and thoughtful - it doesn’t mock or shame its heroines for being studious, and it allows them to have limits and step back from situations that make them uncomfortable. It also serves as a beautifully honest portrait of a friendship, depicting the qualities that bring people together in friendship together in the first place, as well as the forces that can break people apart. This is a very accomplished debut from Wilde, and it makes me very excited to see where she goes next as a director.

6. A Private War, dir. Matthew Heineman

This was a very suspenseful and tightly focused film about an extraordinary woman, and the film soars on the strength of Rosamund Pike’s incredible performance as Marie Colvin. She provides piercing insights into the psyche of a person so driven to pursue truth and enact change that she loses all concern for her own wellbeing - it’s simultaneously a portrait of heroism and obsession, and it’s impressive for how it handles the ambiguity inherent in Colvin’s choices. She’s exceptionally brave, but the film is unflinching in depicting the costs of her bravery. It left me feeling inspired to learn more about Colvin’s life and work, and I still need to watch the documentary Under the Wire to get more insight into the real story behind the film.

7. Fighting With My Family, dir. Stephen Merchant

This is the year of Florence Pugh - she killed it in Midsommar, and she is just as fantastic here. If anything, Fighting With My Family and Midsommar make great complements as they serve as fantastic showcases for Pugh’s range as an actor. While her character in Midsommar is fragile and vulnerable, Fighting With My Family is a platform for her strength and comedic skill. As Paige, Pugh is instantly likable and compelling - I don’t give a damn about any form of wrestling, but this film (and Pugh specifically) did a fantastic job of drawing me in and making me root for Paige’s struggle to prove herself as a legitimate force in wrestling. This is a real underdog story, and Pugh did a wonderful job as the Cinderella of the WWE.

8. Apollo 11, dir. Todd Douglas Miller

My dad has always been crazy about the space program, but I hadn’t picked up the bug myself. That changed after I watched this extraordinary documentary, which brought the Apollo 11 mission to vivid life. The footage that’s used for this documentary is extraordinarily crisp, and some moments are vividly powerful - the crew getting into their spacesuits, the swirl of fire surrounding the moment of takeoff, and the journey of the spacecraft towards the moon. It left me feeling moved and touched by human potential, especially when you remember that this all happened 50 years ago when the available technologies were so fragile and primitive. I also loved how the footage was allowed to speak for itself, with no voiceover or exposition - it’s a must-see for anyone who’s ever looked up at the stars and wondered about reaching them.

9. High Life, dir. Claire Denis

This movie is second to only Midsommar in terms of how weird it is. I saw this in a Hungarian cinema while on holiday, which made for a disorientating experience in itself. While the meaning of the film is quite elusive and I’m sure that many people will find viewing it a uniquely frustrating experience, I appreciated how it created a hothouse environment that brought out some of the ugliest aspects of humanity. Robert Pattinson was great as what comes closest to amounting to our protagonist, though he is as inscrutable and inaccessible as the film itself. I can’t quite pin down why I liked this one so much, but I know I did and it made me want to seek out more of Claire Denis’ work. 

10. Free Solo, dir. Jimmy Chin & Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi

It’s tragic that most people will only watch this documentary on a TV screen (or, so much worse, a laptop!). I was fortunate enough to see it in its full IMAX glory, and it’s rare to see any film - let alone a documentary - take such full advantage of the format. The woozy spectacle of this film is the real star, though the subject - mountain climber Alex Honnold - is also fascinating with his unnerving detachment from the magnitude of what he is setting out on. It is clearly a necessary detachment for him to be able to achieve what he achieves, but I appreciated how the filmmakers questioned it and explored its impact on his girlfriend. This is a compelling documentary, and is worth watching even if you’re not usually a fan of the genre.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

2/2 Also I have a question does anyone from Jason's harem have feelings for him, or they all just here for pretty boytoy?

I’m answering part 2 of this question first because I have some ideas for part 1. 

Short answer is, yes. Most of them actually care about him in one way or another. Not people like Lex of course. Slade doesn’t have feelings for Jason but he likes the kid as much as he likes anyone. But the Justice League love him and they’re very protective. The al Ghuls love him. Ra’s has more romantic interest than Talia but they’d both kill someone for hurting him.

And of course a certain Green Lantern gets sucked in, despite his best efforts.

Which brings me to the long answer. Here’s the first of two chapters about how Jason’s harem actually appreciates him for more than just his sexy skills.

PART 1     PART 2     PART 3

Part 4 - Read All Parts on AO3!!!

Words: 2085

Warnings: None

Nothing explicit in this chapter. Just softness. 

_____________________________________________

Kyle racks up a startling number of favors owed in a startlingly short amount of time.

If he’s honest with himself–which he generally tries to avoid on principle; if you can’t lie to yourself, what’s the point?–he might be more interested than he likes to let on. But he assures himself over and over that he’s not doing anything that everyone else isn’t doing. 

Hell, even Hal is hooking up with Jason. 

Though… Kyle doesn’t think Jason is purposefully trying to give Wayne a heart attack, he’s just doing what he needs and wants to do. But Kyle is positive Hal is definitely fucking with Batman as much as he fucking Jason. Kyle would bet his tiny apartment on the fact that at least 25% of the attraction for his predecessor is sticking it to the Bat.

Alright… maybe Jason does get a little joy out of Wayne’s discomfort.

That said, no matter what he tells himself, Kyle is all too aware of the fact that Jason gets something out of every rendezvous.

Except the ones with him.

They both know the favors were just an excuse, even if neither of them would admit it. 

It takes months before Jason finally starts calling them in. And when he does it’s in small ways. 

Requests for backup are expected when they come. 

But then Jason uses one to ask Kyle to pick up take out from Jason’s favorite hole in the wall in Hong Kong “on his way over”.

He uses another just to get to see Oa–the Guardians were not thrilled to have a “tourist”–and Kyle found it was actually enjoyable showing Jason around. He was amused and a pleasantly surprised when Jason hit it off easily with Kilowag. Far less surprised (and far less amusing) when they visited Guy and Arkillo and it was like the three of them had known each other for years.

Of all the little things Jason uses his favors for, Kyle’s favorites are the massages. They almost always lead to more and it hasn’t escaped Kyle’s attention that when they do, Jason doesn’t count it.

Even when it doesn’t lead to a round of increasingly… affectionate sex, he still gets to work pleasantly scented oil into the astounding number of giant knots plaguing the rippling muscle under Jason’s warm, scarred skin.

Both scenarios usually end the same way too. With Jason dozing off and snuggling close as Kyle uses his ring to get the lights.

He’s reasonably certain that none of Jason’s other arrangements get to stay the night.

They’re both intelligent, capable men. They know what this is. What it’s become. What it could morph into.

But Kyle’s too stubborn to voice it and Jason is too, even if he wasn’t cripplingly insecure about shit like this. 

Still, it hadn’t really hit him how bad he has it until now. Until he slowly crawled out of bed, careful not to wake the other man, showered, and exits the bathroom to what he can only describe as an ethereal view.

Jason is laying on his front, arms tucked under the pillow, breathing slowly and evenly. His mouth is slightly opened, a small dark spot on the pillowcase where he’s drooled a little. The sunlight pours into the room between the opened slats of the blinds. One band illuminates the mop of wild black curls, making the thinner edges glow golden like a halo. Several more stretch across the width of his broad shoulders, his rib-cage, his tapered waist. The soft cotton sheet has slid low, sitting atop the perfectly rounded rise of Jason’s butt, the sea-green edge perfectly angled with the blade of light. The last one shines warm and orange over his toes, peeking out from under the soft cotton sheet.

Sketching is like breathing to Kyle. He’ll doodle on napkins or receipts, anything with a little space, of anything with a little beauty. 

He doesn’t pay much attention to the paper he swipes from Jason’s open file folder. Just enough to note that there was nothing on the back. 

That’s how he finds himself drawing Jason while he sleeps. Painstakingly smoothing over the line for the arch of Jason’s spine, the curve of his ass. Lovingly capturing the shape of his lips, the thick, dark fan of his eyelashes. 

It’s while he carefully adds every scar from memory that Kyle realizes just how deep he’s gone. 

His hand goes still and he glances up to Jason’s face with the surprise of the sudden understanding. 

Then he jumps so hard he drags the pencil through the drawing. 

Jason is laying there awake, bright eyes watching but otherwise still as he was when Kyle started.

“Jesus,” Kyle hisses, trying to collect himself. “Scared me half to death. How long have you been awake?”

Not very long if the soft, groggy smile Jason gives him is any indication.

“Just a couple of minutes,” Jason answers, voice husky from sleep (and the way Kyle made him scream last night). 

Kyle cringes internally. A couple of minutes is a long freaking time to not notice. 

“You had your focused face on,” Jason continues, shifting a little to stretch like a cat. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

“My what now?”

Jason turns onto his side, clearly in no rush to get out of bed, and smirks at him.

“When you’re really into what you’re doing, your brow pinches and you either chew your lip or, honest to god, stick your tongue out. It’s cute.”

Kyle scowls. “Puppies are cute. I’m a badass, space cop.”

With a snort, Jason sits up against the headboard and runs his fingers through his hair. “Whatever you say, officer.”

And fuck if that doesn’t give Kyle all kinds of ideas.

“What were you doing?” Jason asks, attention trained down at the book Kyle was using as a hard surface.

“Uh… nothing.” He tries to think of how he can hide it from the other man. Even to an untrained eye, the emotion in it is obvious. And Jason knows a surprising amount about art. Kyle would much rather never become more than this than risk losing what they have.

Jason’s smirk turns mischievous and there’s an amused glint in his eyes. “Drawing me like one of your French girls?" 

The little huff of laughter Kyle manages does nothing to hide the rapid shot of color to his cheeks. His "no” is weak and unconvincing. 

“Well, come on, Rayner. Let me see?”

Kyle’s breath freezes in his chest and he hesitates, clutching the sheet of cheep printer paper closer to him.

“Dude, I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Jason taunts.

It’s not bad at all. That’s the problem.

It might be the best thing Kyle’s ever drawn.

He swallows hard and braces himself. Then gets up and sits on the edge of the bed as he hands it over. 

Watching the smile slip from Jason’s face feels like getting punched in the gut. 

It’s over now. Kyle got too serious. The Pit left Jason with something he can’t fully control and he doesn’t want or need a partner. It doesn’t matter that Kyle would understand that Jason would still have to… do what he does. It doesn’t matter because the last thing Jason needs is some useless serious relationship cramping his style.

“Is… is this supposed to be me?" 

The question surprises Kyle. Because it’s painfully obvious that the portrait is of Jason, down to the almost unnoticeable freckles across his nose and cheekbones. And the question is asked so timidly as Jason stares down at the sheet with wide eyes. Not an ounce of recognition. 

"I couldn’t have made it more obviously you if it was a photo,” Kyle says lightly, hoping head off the worst of things.

But Jason stares for long moments, expression confused, until finally he pulls his eyes away to look up at Kyle.

“But I… I don’t look like this.”

Kyle blinks at him. “What? I mean… you don’t have a big, dark pencil line through you but–”

“No… I mean… this is… this is so…” He huffs. “It’s too… pretty. Didn’t really think you were the type to romanticize the subject. Sure you didn’t have Dickface on the mind?”

It’s defensive. Using humor to armor himself. Kyle can practically see the walls going up in Jason’s mind as he tries to rationalize things. As he tries to make what he’s seeing on the paper–what Kyle sees–fit with his own idea of himself. 

Leaning in, Kyle takes Jason’s chin in one hand and pushes the book with the sheet of paper down to Jason’s lap while forcing Jason to look up at him.

“This is you, Jason. Every scar, every freckle, every bruise from last night. Just you. No one else.”

“But…”

“No. It’s beautiful because you’re beautiful,” Kyle says gently. Then he smirks. “And because I’m really talented. But I promise. That’s exactly what you look like.”

“To you maybe,” he grumbles, trying to turn away. 

Kyle tightens his grip and gives a little tug to get Jason meet his eyes again.

“Yes. To me." 

Jason’s eyes widen and he stops breathing. 

"I don’t know what you see when you look in the mirror, Jason, but you’re objectively attractive,” Kyle continues. He looks into those vivid aquamarine irises and where once he would have bristled, felt the urge to challenge and compete, he softens. “And to me… you’re perfect.”

The room is deathly quiet. It seems like neither of them are even breathing. 

Eventually Jason gulps and looks back down at the drawing. 

Kyle glares at the headboard, kicking himself for letting things get this far; for having to come clean about his feelings; for putting Jason (and himself) in this awkward position. For letting their friends-with-benefits agreement slide into murkier waters. A lifetime ago, when he did have a stupid, ill-advised, youthful crush on Batman, he promised himself he’d never actually fall for any Bat. They were all bad news in one way or another.

So of course it’d be the asshole black sheep of the family, the biggest bad news of the bunch (except for maybe the punk kid who’s Robin now), who he’s going to have to get over.

An indignant noise from below him draws his attention back to Jason. 

Jason who is glaring up at him.

Kyle shrugs and splays his palms open in surrender. “What?”

The drawing gets shoved in his face. Only it’s not the drawing. Its the other side. The side emblazoned with the Coast City Police Department logo.

“You drew on my police report, asshole!”

He searches Jason’s face. The younger man isn’t kicking him out; isn’t telling him off. Hell, Jason isn’t even asking that they just keep things casual. Kyle knows he can be clueless about this kind of stuff (Jason honestly believes Ra’s is only interest in him is the sex) but there was obvious understanding in that gemstone gaze when Kyle spilled his heart.

“Those aren’t supposed to leave the precinct. You shouldn’t even have it,” Kyle retorts. 

Jason rolls his eyes so hard Kyle’s surprised they stay in his head. “No shit dumbass, that’s why I have to sneak it back in!”

Trying–and failing–to stop the smile tugging at his lips, Kyle says “Oh… whoops” and goes to shift back, put a little more space between them. But Jason’s hand snaps out and the next thing he knows he’s flat on his back with Jason towering over him, those fucking thighs straddling his hips

“Don’t worry,” Jason practically purrs, “you can make it up to me.”

“Oh no. What a great inconvenience,” Kyle smirks as Jason leans close.

The kiss is softer than usual. Less desperate; less demanding; less competitive. 

“And then?” He whispers it against Jason’s lips when they part to get some air. He can’t help it. He has to know.

Jason hums and mouths at the pulse point in Kyle’s throat.

“And then I’ll be hungry so you can take me to breakfast.”

He swallows hard against that talented tongue and the pointed roll of Jason’s hips against his groin.

“A favor?” he asks, hardly daring to hope.

Jason kisses his mouth again before answering, cheeks bright red and eyes averted. “A date… if you want.”

Kyle threads his fingers into the curls that stick up every which way and when he pulls Jason into the next kiss, it’s got all the desperation of the ones before and then some.

“I want.”

[smileyjily]

Chapter 37

Reading this chapter as if it's the first time because I do not remember a word I wrote here, and it is just gut punch after gut punch. Everything the characters reveal in the DADA is so harrowing and impactful. Pulling passages from this one is going to get long so behind a cut.

1) Sirius’s bad dreams

“I have these dreams, nightmares really. The same one over and over again. Some of the details change but the content of the dream is always the same, the meat of it,” Sirius said.

Living in a dorm with Sirius, James could testify to the truth of that. A solid night’s sleep had been impossible their first few years together because Sirius was a screamer, thrashing about and panting desperately once his dreams began in earnest. Fucking annoying. Fucking tragic too, but it had been difficult for James to view it that way when he’d been running on four hours sleep. Well-rested, he was better able to see it for what it was.

“I go back to my parents’ house. From the moment I enter, I can tell nothing has changed. The place is pristine, untouched. I wouldn’t be surprised to find my parents frozen in the exact same position in which I left them. At the top of the stairs, I see the door to my room. I stand outside it for a long time, trying to decide whether or not I should go in. Some nights, I don’t open the door. I just stand there until my alarm goes off and I remember that I’m really at Hogwarts. That Grimmauld Place is leagues away,” Sirius said.

In spite of knowing Sirius would never reveal anything too personal to this group, that wherever this story was going, it would end in a joke, James still felt a shiver crawl up his spine at the eerie description.

“The times I do go inside, well, it’s enough to make me want to week,” Sirius sniffled. Actually, took a shaky breath in through his nose. “All of my posters – the Rolling Stones, the Ursula Andress in a bathing suit – they’re gone! My parents have found a way to undo my sticking charms, and wrenched them off the walls. I know I’ll never see them again.”

James half-heartedly hid his snickers behind his hand. Still doing his sad, abandoned bit, Sirius shot him a scandalized look, like James was actually mocking him. There was just a touch of that Black cruelty in his smile though. James laughed all the harder.

The release of breath from the listening students as they realized Sirius was just messing around was an almost visceral thing. Carla Daniels looked especially put off that Sirius hadn’t taken their assignment seriously. The only person who didn’t seem disappointed was Professor Ames. In fact, she was studying Sirius intently, no hint that she felt annoyance at how he’d twisted her sincerity.

“Can I take it that you’re exaggerating the frequency of your dreams, Mr. Black?” Ames asked.

“I suppose you could say that.”

“Your posters, though? Was your concern there all in jest or do you actually think about whether they’re still hanging?” Ames said.

Now, Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “Not frequently, but yeah, sometimes I guess. That Ursula Andress one is really nice.”

“They’re also tangible evidence that you once lived there,” Professor Ames said thoughtfully.

“I left them up because I knew it would drive my mother mad,” Sirius said shortly.

“And as a result, she can never use the room for some other purpose,” Ames pointed out.

Rather than lashing out, Sirius grew very quiet after that. Those posters were likely the only proof that Sirius had ever resided with his family. Orion Black had been kind enough to forward along all of Sirius’s belongings after he’d moved in with James’ family. Before doing so, the Blacks had burned his belongings to the point of being unrecognizable, but it was the thought that counted. James wasn’t sure he’d ever seen his mother so furious as when she was trying to sort through the burnt heap of Sirius’s school books and drawings from when he was a kid. They’d even sent along the destroyed family portrait that used to hang in the receiving room. An appointment had already been made to commission another one without their oldest son.

2) James reflecting on the unknowability of one Lily Evans

Sometimes he felt like he knew less and less about Lily with everything new he learned. They were closer than ever, and yet there was a distance. Something unbreachable had sprung up between them, or maybe it was a distance without birth, something that predated them both. The decision that human beings should be born in separate bodies, to never truly learn the intricacies of each other’s secrets.

Because maybe it wasn’t that Lily put up a wall between them. Maybe it was that the more he learned, the more he wanted to know. He wanted to crawl inside her skin and just live in her thoughts for a few hours – minutes – a second if he had to settle.

The tiniest kernel of truth from her, any clue – minute as it may be – was something he craved.

3) The almost immediate reconciliation of Mary/Marlene

“I don’t want to talk to you about this in front of all these people,” Mary said stiffly.

“Why not? You only agreed to tell me alongside all these people. I don’t see why I deserve special explanations now,” Marlene said, but she just sounded kind of sad.

Mary tentatively reached out to take ahold of her hand. When Marlene didn’t resist, Mary sighed.

“I don’t like to make things about me with you,” Mary admitted, “Because I think you deserve the world.”

As far as explanations went, Mary’s was fairly insubstantial but Marlene still relented. They disappeared for a moment – Sirius and James were close enough to share a private language. Mary and Marlene possessed a separate world. When they finally broke eye contact, Marlene had tears in her eyes.

Very quietly, Mary whispered something to Marlene in Korean, a language that no one expected her to speak. Then, Marlene began to cry in earnest. Mary closed her eyes and took on an expression of true suffering.

So intimate was the scene, that James felt sick just from bearing witness.

4) And to really drive it home, this chapter also has good Peter foreshadowing. Good Remus psychoanalysis. And some subtle but there if you look for it, growth on James’ part. I love it.

[emybain]

Renegades Titanic AU: Part 4

sis may be sick posting this but I got a break today from the madness and I’ve been itching to post the next part since like Wednesday so here she is. I was going to write more but figured it would be better splitting up this part and the next part bc this would've been a lot longer since the next part will have a lot of stuff going on. also, go watch the hecking movie if you haven't already please I dont want to spoil but I also love this au and its my current obsession okay

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Part 4: The Next Day

Nova

    “I’ve been on my own since I was six, when my family died.” Nova tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as the wind picked up. “Well, not technically on my own…” she trailed off, fixing her eyes on the horizon. She didn’t want to mention the other’s names, especially Ace’s, in front of Adrian, due to their circumstances. 

    “With the Anarchists?” Adrian piped up, looking down at her. They were strolling along the first class deck, Nova feeling out of place in her old shirt and hand-me-down suspenders among the beautifully dressed ladies. Adrian had sought her out that afternoon after lunch and invited her on a walk along the deck, to which Nova accepted, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. Now, it was nearing late afternoon, and they had made a few laps around the ship. 

    Nova shot him a bewildered look, but laughed. “Anarchists? Is that what you call us?”

    Adrian blushed. Nova bit her lip, ignoring how adorable he looked. “Um...yeah, I guess. Because of their crimes.” She noticed how he didn’t include her in with them. Huh. 

    Nova said nothing in reply, remaining silent. They stayed like that for a bit, until Nova forced herself to speak again. She was bothered by last night's events, and felt it necessary to address them properly. 

    “I want to thank you, Mr. Everhart-”

“Adrian,” he interrupted, before coughing awkwardly. “Sorry. But please, call me Adrian.”

“Adrian,” Nova nodded, his name feeling weird on her tongue, “thank you for saving me last night.” Nova looked down at her hands. “And also thank you for your discretion about what really happened.”

    Adrian stopped, so she did as well. He turned to face her. “Of course, Miss McLain. If you don’t mind my asking, what made you think you had no choice?”

    Now it was Nova’s turn to blush. She tore her eyes from Adrian’s, despite enjoying gazing up at them, and made her way to the railing overlooking the ocean. She turned back around and leaned against it, hugging herself. 

    “I know what you’re thinking.” She risked a glance up at him. His eyebrows were furrowed together. She looked back down. “How can someone who causes pain be in pain herself?” She laughed humorlessly. 

    Adrian took a hesitant step forward. “No, that’s not what I was thinking at all. And besides, you're not the one causing people pain. They are.” The way he said they, with so much hostility, sent a shiver down Nova’s spine. He had no idea just how much she had done, how much destruction and pain was on her hands. How Nightmare was the most wanted criminal in Europe. 

    Nova pursed her lips. Deep down she knew she shouldn’t open up to him; he was a stranger, one of them. But his eyes were so kind, so filled with concern. Surely, since he had kept her secret last night from everyone, he could keep another. It wasn’t like he would rush down to third class to tell Honey or Leroy or Ingrid, either. 

Her arms tightened around her middle. “It’s just…” she swallowed. “It was everything, I suppose. And everyone. There’s this pressure to be what they want me to be, and-and I don’t know if I can do it. You know, not once have they asked me what I want. It’s always been about their needs and desires. I’m barely seventeen and it’s like the weight of the world has crashed down upon my shoulders and I’m powerless to lift it up.” 

    “That’s some serious stuff.” Adrian quirked his lips up, drawing Nova’s eyes to them. She looked away immediately. “That much stress would have dragged you to the bottom for sure.” 

    She knew he was trying to be lighthearted, possibly for her sake, but all she could do was hum in reply. “I have until this boat docks to figure out how I’m supposed to make them proud, but I’m frightened of failing. 

    “Do you care about them?” 

    Nova’s head shot up. “Pardon me?”

    Adrian repeated the question, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Nova blinked at him, stammering. “That’s...that’s very rude. Not exactly a question you should be asking me.”

Adrian shrugged. “It’s a simple question, Miss McLain. Do you care about them?”

She pushed herself away from the railing, a laugh bursting from her lips. “It’s an inappropriate question for someone of your rank and mine.”

“Why is it so hard to answer the question?” He smiled, but it was confused. 

“We are not having this conversation,” Nova said firmly, looking around them as people passed. “You are rude and presumptuous, and now I’m leaving.” She reached out to shake his hand, which he accepted. “Adrian...Mr. Everhart, it’s been a pleasure.” Although her tone said otherwise. “I have thanked you, and-”

“Insulted me.” Adrian grinned. Nova’s teeth clenched. Of course he found it amusing. He would probably recount the whole conversation to his little friend group later. Nova knew she should have just kept her mouth shut. Now she was paying for it. 

“You deserved it.” Nova looked down at the book-type thing he had been carrying around with him all afternoon, and frowned. She had noticed it earlier, but thought nothing of it. Now, though, she could see how he carried it close to him as if it were important. She let go of his hand, which she had still been shaking, and reached out for it, snatching it before he could pull back. “What is this stupid thing you’ve been carrying around, anyway?” 

Adrian did nothing, said nothing, only watched calmly as she peeked inside at its contents. The outside was made of fine leather, soft against Nova’s hands. Her head tilted. “What are you, an artist?” Flipping through each page, Nova slowly made her way to one of the lounge chairs near her, sitting down. “These are rather good.” In her peripheral vision, she saw Adrian sit down next to her, watching her closely. Her cheeks reddened. “They’re very good, in fact. I didn’t know rich people could have talent.” Only a second later did she realize that that probably wasn’t the best thing she could have said. Now she was the rude one. 

    He drew a lot of people. She recognized some of his friends she had seen the night before, drawn quite often. She also recognized his parents. There were others, too. A mother with her child, children in a park with a dog. As she kept flipping, she noticed the same face of a young woman, who, unlike the others, was posing for her picture. 

    “You like this lady,” Nova observed, admiring every detail of the drawing she was currently viewing. “Were the two of you-”

    “Oh, no.” Adrian chuckled nervously, and one peek at him confirmed he was blushing. Nova smiled. “She had beautiful hands, you see? He turned that paper over to another one, of the same lady, and pointed to her hands. “Also, she was around a lot when we were in Paris, the daughter of an old friend of my father. Very kind, but also very demanding about getting her portrait done.”

    Nova hummed, the smile still resting on her face as she looked at Adrian. “You have a gift, Adrian. These are exquisite. You see people as they are, and not what they portray themselves to be.”

    Adrian met her eyes, his own softening. “I see you, Miss McLain.”

    Nova’s heart skipped. “A-and?” 

    “I don’t think you would have jumped last night.”

__________

    They talked for a while after that, and Nova found herself enjoying the company of Adrian Everhart, son of her enemies. It wasn’t like talking to one of the others. No, he actually paid attention to her, hanging onto every syllable that came from her lips and never once interrupting. It had been so long since Nova had spoken to someone of her own age, but she also had a feeling she enjoyed talking to him for more reasons that just that. 

    She learned that he had travelled a lot when he was a child, before his mother passed away. And even when he was adopted, his dads took him everywhere with them. He, unlike her, had seen the world. He had even mentioned how he and his friends would often travel alone when they wanted to. 

    “I wish I could do that.” Nova sighed, gazing at the sunset before them. They were standing side by side at a railing, elbows barely brushing. “Just leave whenever I please without a care in the world.” Quietly, she added, “It must be nice having money.”

    Adrian drew back slightly. “Actually, we try not to spend too much money when we travel, at least my friends and I do.” His cheeks reddened. “We only recently came into a great deal of money, and frankly, none of us are used to it.”

    Clearly your parents are, Nova wanted to say, but she bit it back and swallowed it. As far as she could tell, Adrian was being honest, and he had seemed uncomfortable whenever she brought up the subject of wealth. Even the way he dressed, which was much more modest than the rest of the first class gentlemen, showed how he must not have liked his wealth. 

    “Say we travel somewhere together, even just in theory,” Nova mused, forcing a smile on her face. “Like, oh I don’t know, the beach.”

    “That’s oddly specific.” Adrian’s grin returned, warming Nova inside. “Let’s do it.”

    “Really?” Nova perked up, although she couldn’t quite place why. 

    “Yeah.” Adrian nodded specifically. “We can go with Oscar, Ruby, and Danna as well. You’d love them, trust me. They aren’t like the rest of first class. We’d go to one of those piers with rollercoasters, drink cheap beer, walk along the beach, watch the sunset...” He trailed off. Nova thought of his friends, who, like him, didn’t exactly fit the first class stereotype when it came to looks, based on what she had seen the previous night.

    “I’d like that. Very much, in fact.” And she meant it. Never in her life had she been allowed to just have fun, to be young. It was always study more to outsmart the Renegades, train harder to beat them, do this and do that to be one step ahead of them with the promise of their downfall. Revenge, revenge, revenge, had been implanted into her mind since her family was murdered, and had been watered carefully by Ace and Phobia and Winston and Ingrid and Leroy and Honey over roughly ten years. 

    “Screw everything,” she blurted out suddenly. Adrian blinked, surprised. She looked at him, a new excitement blossoming in her chest. “This world is a mess. The people in it are a mess. Fuck all of it.”

    Adrian looked like he was about to laugh, but he made a frantic shushing sound. “Lower your voice, people are looking.”

    “I don’t care.” Nova smiled widely at the sunset. “Let them hear. Fuck. Everything.”

    Behind them, someone cleared their throat. They both turned, and Nova’s eyes widened. It was the Council, and they didn’t look the least bit happy to see Nova with Adrian. Somehow, that made Nova happy. Not far behind them were Adrian’s friends, attempting to catch up once they saw Adrian.

    “Dad, Pops.” Adrian’s voice suddenly took on a slight strain. “You remember Miss McLain from last night?” Both of his dads nodded and acknowledged Nova with the same iciness from the previous night. Adrian introduced her to the others, who were kind if only out of politeness. When she was introduced to his friends, however, she was greeted with real smiles. 

    The dinner bell rang then, and Nova was instantly reminded that she was to join all of them tonight. Fear erupted inside her. 

    Adrian seemed to remember as well. “We should go get ready, right, Father?” He walked over to Hugh Everhart and the others, then turned back to Nova. “I’ll see you at dinner, Miss McLain?” There was so much hope in his eyes that any excuse Nova was about to make up dissipated. She swallowed and nodded, watching as he walked away with his dads and the rest of the Council. His friends, however, stayed behind. 

    One of them, Danna, she remembered, snapped her fingers in front of Nova’s face, drawing her attention from Adrian’s retreating figure. 

    “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Danna asked, concern in her eyes. Nova bit the inside of her cheek, suddenly losing her confidence she had previously had with Adrian. These were his friends, she reminded herself. She could trust them. 

    “Not really, Miss Bell.” Nova shook her head. 

    Danna’s lips quirked up. “It’s okay to call me Danna, you know. Miss Bell is a little too formal for my taste.”

    “The same goes for me,” Ruby piped up, all smiles. “And I’m sure for Oscar as well.” 

    “Of course.” Oscar nodded. “Although, Mr. Silva does have a ring to it.”

    “What are you planning on wearing?” Danna brought back the conversation to where it began. She looked Nova up and down, not out of distaste, but critically. When Nova gestured to what she was currently wearing, seeing as she had nothing better, Ruby shook her head. 

    “Oh, sweetheart, no, no, no.” She reached forward and touched Nova’s elbow lightly. Nova jumped from the contact. “You’re going to need something more than that.” Ruby shared a look with Danna, and then they both linked arms with Nova. 

    “C’mon.” Ruby pulled her along. “We’ll make sure you shine tonight.”

[jj-lynn21]

You will remember things that we never said ch 4

Warning: SMUT, angst, fluff

mood board: My creation with photos from google, AHS website. Other photo credits on pix.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3 ch 5 ch 6 ch 7

Stephanie sits by a window at Skat’s Tattoo parlor while Axel works on a butterfly tat on a guy’s lower back. He didn’t realize guys got tramp stamps until this scrawny looking blonde guy in a suit came in to ask for it. He didn’t ask questions other than a few to determine if the guy was of sound mind. The guy was completely sober of all substances. Axel thought maybe he lost a bet.

Axel glance at Stephanie who looked miles away in deep thought. “What’s on your mind Stephanie? You can talk to me while I’m doing this.”

Her eyes were glossy dreamy blue as she looked at him biting her lower lip. “I was just thinking about you.”

He grinds the guy a little with the needle as he glanced at the way she is looking at him.

“Fuck,” the guy roars. “Is it supposed to feel like that?”

Axel lifts the needle up off the guys skin, “Yeah, dude. I’m right on your tailbone. Almost done.” He finishes up the butterfly. And pulls the guys shirt down. “Just put lotion on it and the color will stay vibrant. Don’t pick at the scabbing or scratch as it heals. It could get infected that way.  I hope you get much joy from your five-hundred -dollar piece of art.”

The guy leaves but Axel keeps the privacy curtain closed. “Come here Stephanie.”

She struts over to straddle his lap. Her hands go to the nape of his neck stroking his hair. “You’re the only one that calls me by my full name Axel.”

His hands hold her ass as he looks in her eyes. “I’m just never in a hurry to shorten your name. Plus, it’s a very sexy name to me.”

He licks his lips leaning to kiss her. She leans down to kiss him grinding working up friction in her jeans against his bulge. He groans.

“Axel, your next costumer is her.” Derick yelled.

“Fuck,” Axel murmured. “Stephanie, maybe it wasn’t the best idea for you to come hangout at work with me.” She pouts her lip. “I’ll make time for just us soon. I promise.”

Stephanie takes in a deep breath and gets off him. “I should be studying anyway. Did you get my portrait done for Monday?”

“Yeah, you get mine done?”  He really hadn’t even started on it but art came easily to him so he knew he could get it done in a few hours. Maybe even tattoo it on his back. Fuck, what am I thinking? Do I even love her enough to do that? I fucking do and I should fucking tell her.

Derick yells again, “I’m sending Charlotte back for her bellybutton piecing right now.”

“No problem Derick, I’m ready.” He stood to take Stephanie’s hand. He looked at her soulfully. “Walk back carefully.” Fuck, I’m such a fucking pussy, he said to himself.

“Sure, thing Axel,” She leaned in to give him one more lingering kiss as Charlotte walked in. Then she went to her dorm to study.

The sky was gloomy as Stephanie walked to class. The smell of the impending rainstorm in the air. As she gets inside the art building the rain begins to fall. Axel holds the classroom door for her. She lights up at the sight of him. She goes to the front to sit and he stays where he has sat since the beginning of the semester both creatures of habit.  

“Stephanie, I know your portrait is finish so why don’t you come and show us all and describe how you created it.” Professor Scotland said.

Stephanie showed off her work of Axel.

“I used charcoal for this. Shades of grey and black. It’s not any particular style. Its just what came out when I drew it.” Stephanie bit at the corner of her lip as she stood there nervously.

“It looks pretty good, Stephanie,” The Professor took the drawing looking at it closely. “Would this be Axel?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, Professor Scotland.” She fumbled with her hands hearing whispery voices scattering through the room.

“Alright you can sit Stephanie.,” The professor looked towards the back of the room. “Well, Axel since Stephanie showed us a portrait of you, you’re on the radar. Come on up here with what you have to give me.”

Axel nods. He walks to the front of the room. “I uh, this is Stephanie.” 

His voice trembled a little, “I drew her from my mind’s eye. I used tattoo ink because it was what I had available.” Axel handed the portrait to the Professor. Then he went to sit down.

The Professor looked at the Portrait closely. “Very good using what was around you Axel.”

Stephanie thought the rest of the class’s portraits weren’t nearly as good as Axel’s, but she would be the first to admit she was bias. Many of the other students did self-portraits.

After class Stephanie gathers her things thinking she could walk with Axel too his next class or have lunch together. She frowned when he was already gone.

The rain poured outside the door to the building. Thunder crushed in the distance. Stephanie walked outside under the awning of the building deciding if she wanted to make a mad dash for the student union or just stay here until it subsided. She shivered at the temperature drop. A red pick up truck pulled up at the sidewalk. The door sprang open. It was Axel with his hand outreached to help her. She ran over, jumped inside and shut the door. Axel pulled away from the curb.

“Thanks Axel,” She ran her hands though her wet hair.

“You have another class soon?” He tried to keep his eyes on the road, but one pulled to view her damp dress clinking to her skin. Her hard nipples from the cold showing through her thin bra and top of her baby pink dress.

“No, I have a little over an hour to dry up,” She laughed. “Maybe it wasn’t the best day to wear this color dress.”

Axel pulls into the student center parking lot, “You can just stay in here for a while,” He looks at Stephanie and licks his lips.

Her hair covers her face as she tries to dry it with her hands. “Sure, Axel thanks.”

He undoes his seatbelt to move closer to her eyes are closed as she shakes her hair out of her eyes. She feels his lips on hers and progresses the kiss as his hand moves under her dress, along her inner thigh under her panties. She breaths heavily in anticipation as he moves his lips down to suck on her neck.

“Axel,” She murmurs.

He whispers in her ear as two fingers glide over her clit. “I fucking need to touch you as much as you want me to Stephanie. My cock twitches every time I see you.”

She moans out softly.

He continues talking dirtier as he goes. “Your pussy is so wet. Is my band bitch always this ready when I’m around?”

“Yes, Axel,” She moaned laying back against the seat. Her hips start to rock into his touch.

“My good little soaked band bitch riding my hand so desperate for relief.” Axel bites on her ear lope until she squeals. “That’s it, Stephanie be louder for me. My cock is throbbing to be in this tight pussy of yours.” He moves his fingers quicker in and out. “But I don’t think you’re ready for that yet. You think you’re ready for my big cock in this pussy? You want it Stephanie?”

“Yes,” She gasps.

He attempts to add a third digit. “I think I’m going to get you to cum just like this. You’re never going to have to finish yourself again. You are almost there. Just let go. Fuck my cock is so hard feeling you out like this. You want to fuck my cock with those luscious pink lips when I’m done milking this pussy for all you can give.”

Her orgasm hits, “YES, AXEL…YES…”

Her back arches as he keeps moving his fingers. “Say it Stephanie. Tell me you want to suck my cock as good as I’m getting you off.” He slowly slides his fingers out and licks them. “Fucking purity.”

“yes, yes, yes,” She comes down from her high and looks over to Axel. “I never gave anyone a blow job before Axel. My ex thought they were only something whores did.” She blushes.

“You are the most innocent person I have ever known Stephanie.” He kisses her lips. “I’ll show you what I need you to do to my cock so I can mouth fuck you another time but for now give me that small hand.”

He already has his jeans undone. His cock standing at attention through the slit in his boxers. He puts her hand at the base. She gasps.

“You never gave him a hand job either?” Axel groans. “He had some serious issues Stephanie. Now move your hand up and down the shaft and watch what happens.”

She does as he asks. She watched the pleasing look on Axel’s face and the dripping tip of his head.

“Faster Stephanie.” He lays his head back. Eyes closed gritting his teeth. “fuck, you’re a natural…mmm…oh damn…put your mouth around it Stephanie. I don’t want cum all over my truck.”

He tangles his hand in her hair as she leans down. Her lips go around his member. He encourages her to continue the motion her hand was doing.  He thrusts his hips as he cums pulling her head back, so she is less likely choke. “FUCK…yes, yes…”

She is willingly to swallow all she can manage panicking slightly when she needs a breath. She sits up and opens the truck door puking up what was still filling her mouth. He rubs her back.

“You alright, Stephanie.” He does his pants back up. “I sure do appreciate you trying something new with me.”

She leans back on the seat. Shuts the door. “Rain stopped.”

Axel takes her hand, “Hey, look at me.” She turns her head to look at him. “Are you alright?” He opens his glove compartment. Grabs the wet wipes and takes one dabbing her mouth.

“I’m not what you need Axel,” She looks away.

He takes her chin pulling her face back to him, “You are exactly what I need Stephanie. I love you. You can’t be great at things you never have done before. I don’t expect you to.”

“I love you to Axel,” Her lips quiver.

“Hey how about after the show a Friday you come back to my place.” His eyes shined as the sun broke loose in the sky. “no drinking. Both of us just being together. How does that sound?”

“Good,” She smiles brightly.  

He starts the truck back up. “How about some lunch before your next class?”

“Taco Bell?” Stephanie suggested.

“That’s fine with me.” He took her hand and kissed it before taking off to the local Taco Bell.

They talked like they never had before. Maybe it was getting some of their pent-up sexual attraction dealt with.  Maybe it was just timing. Axel ask her about her classes and motivations. She found out he was a business major with a minor in art to take over  skat’s when Derick retired.  But all he really wanted to do is write and play music on a small level. No ambition to take it bigger. To “sellout to a big record label.” Even if that would pay the bill. They both felt good sitting there just discussing life. The forty-five minute flew by.

Stephanie’s head was clear as she got to class. Her two afternoon classes seemed to go quickly. She went back to the dorm to study the rest of the afternoon into the evening. When Bella got back from her classes Stephanie glanced up, “Evening Bella. How was your day?”

Bella scrutinized her roommate demeanor. “You seem not so tense and frustrated. Did you finally masturbate to get yourself focused?”

Stephanie giggled, “Why would you say that?”

“You have been all flustered for weeks and,” Bella throws her bag in her bedroom and marches over to Stephanie’s room. “You fucked him, didn’t you? You fucked Axel?”

“Nope,” Stephanie’s cheeks burned red. “We had a nice lunch after class and chatted. I enjoyed finding out more about him.”

“Somehow I don’t buy that you just had lunch as hot as your cheeks are getting.” She sat on Stephanie’s bed looking at her in her desk chair. “You know he probably told all of his friends already so you might as well tell me.”

“Your probably right,” She signed. “He was waiting in his truck after class to pick me up, so I didn’t get to drenched in the storm. We didn’t fuck but we fooled around until the rain stopped. Then we went to lunch. End of story.”

She smirked, “He got you off, didn’t he?”

“Fantastically so,” Stephanie gushed.

“I guess you needed it baby so now he can be out of your system.” Bella turned to go study in her room.

“I’m going to his place after the show Friday night.” Stephanie admitted excitedly.

Bella just shook her head as she went to her room. “I’m going to see Dark Breed at a different venue.”

[crampdown]

Cramp’s Comic Recommendations For Fans Of Classic Rock And Co.

Allright here we go. This is my current list of comics/manga/graphic novels you might enjoy if you’re into classic rock. Before we get started I’d just like to let you all know:

- This list is far from being complete. I’m sure there are many more groovy comics out there that I’m simply not aware of yet so if you have any suggestions feel free to add them :)

- I know I said “Classic Rock” but some of my choices may drift into other musical directions

- Needless to say I do not own any of the following images. They all belong to their rightfull owners and I’ll use them as visual reference material only.

- Sorry for eventual misspelling

Let’s go ^^

1. Bob Dylan Revisited 

Let’s start with an obvious choice. This is a collection of 13 well-known Dylan Songs, each of them graphically interpreted by a different artist. The most striking feature therefore is the high variety of different art styles. Some of them are cartoony, some are very abstract while others are almost photo realistic.

Dylan’s mesmerizing lyrics have always been inspirational and these beautiful depictions truly are a sight to see. 

Including works of Thierry Murat, Lorenzo Mattotti, Nicolas Nemiri, François Avril, Jean-Claude Götting, Christopher,  Bézian, Dave McKean, Alfred, Raphaëlle Le Rio, Maël Le Mae, and Henri Meunier, Gradimir Smudju, Benjamin Flao, Jean-Phillippe Bramanti and Zep.

Zep’s take on “Not Dark Yet”

Jean-Phillippe Bramanti’s interpretation of “Knocking On Heaven’s Door”

Definitely worth checking out not only for Bob Dylan Fans.

2. Baby’s In Black” by Arne Bellstorf

I’ve seen several people in the Beatles fandom complain about the lack of Stuart Sutcliffe material when it comes to early Beatles history. 

Well, here it is: a graphic novel that focuses on the relationship between Stuart Sutcliffe and fotographer Astrid Kirchherr who took the very first professional photos of the Beatles during their time in Hamburg (1960-61).

Told mostly from Astrid’s point of view this comic presents itself in a grey and melancholic tone that fits the rather sad story. Bellstorf’s drawings are simplified and charming (they remind me of early sixties children book illustrations which suits the setting’s time period)

If you’re interested in early Beatles history (especially their Hamburg days) you should give this one a try.

3. Blue Monday by Chynna Clugston Flores

I really wish I had known about this amazing comic series a few years earlier, not only because this is a slice of life/coming of age story with teenage characters who are actually likeable and relateable but also because “Blue Monday” is an overall highly entertaining depiction of early nineties teen culture/rebellion in an American suburb that comes with a lot of references to Britpop, mod culture, Buster Keaton movies and Adam Ant (to name only a few).

To quote the author herself: “It’s like Archie on crack, with cursing and smokes”.

The art style of Chynna Clugston Flores is very vivid and expressive and has a certain stylistic touch of anime/manga (like a lot of comics from the early 2000s). I also really enjoy all of the graphic fashion details in this one. Plus, this is the first comic with it’s own soundtrack and that’s always a nice bonus.

I’d recommend “Blue Monday” for fans of Britpop, Punk, New Wave and early 1990′s culture.

4. Punk Rock And Trailer Parks by Derf Backderf

Another story about growing up in American small town madness, this time set in 1980s gritty Punk subculture of the former rubber city of Akron, Ohio. Protagonist Otto who likes to refer to himself as “The Baron” becomes fascinated with Punk after attending a Ramones concert. He meets several Pubk icons (thus as The Clash, The Plasmatics, rock journalist Lester Bangs and many more) and becomes someting of a local punk star himself.

Derf Backderf (who is best known for his highly acclaimed graphic novel “My Friend Dahmer” and his Eisner award winning comic “Trashed”) created a comic that is as “raw and dirty as punk itself”. His art style is an unique combination of expressionism, underground cartoons and punk magazines.

“Punk Rock And Trailer Parks” is a must-have for punk fans (especially if you’re into The Ramones and The Clash. It made me a huge fan of both of them).

5. “CASH - I See A Darkness” and “Nick Cave - Mercy On Me” by Reinhard Kleist

Two biographical graphic novels by Reinhard Kleist, both of them tell the story of a fascinating personality in rock history and both of them are incredibly well drawn. Kleist’s art is full of life and movement and very atmospheric due to his impressive use of stark contrasts. 

I personally love his semirealistic way of drawing people and I’d highly suggest you to check out his other works too. He made a lot of biographical comics that really amazed me.

CASH

Cave

Definetly worth reading. Not only for Johnny Cash and Nick Cave fans.

6. Nowhere Men by Eric Stephenson, Nate Bellegarde, Jordie Bellaire and Fonografiks

I talked about this one a while ago but I’ll gladly do it again since it’s just too cool. “Nowhere Men” is set in an alternative past/present and future where scientists became as popular as pop stars (catchphrase “Science is the new Rock n` Roll”) but somewhere along the way something definetly went wrong. 

The hype of science shares obvious similarities with the beatlemania of the 60s and the founding of Apple back then. Furthermore, the characters are partly inspired by well-known personalities of Rock history. There are many more or less hidden nods and references to musical popculture wich is why I put it on this list.

Nowhere Men is a thrilling sci-fi dystopian that requires an observant reader because there is a lot of jumping back and forth i time and inbetween information. The art style is realistic and full of very vibrant colours.

I found myself reading this multiple times to get all of the details in the world building. A thoughtful and brilliant writing indeed. 

7. P.I.L. by Mari Yamazaki

Japan 1983: 17-year-old Nanami couldn’t be more frustrated. Her grandfather loves to spend all of their household money on useless luxury junk and her strict school criticizes her messy hairstyle. Caught between teenage rebellion and responsibility as she tries different side jobs to earn at least a little bit of money, Nanami also has a thing for punk music and overall everything originated from England.

P.I.L. tells the story of conflict between two generations who aren’t as different as they might seem. Sometimes funny and heartwarming, sometimes with a bit of drama this is a charming slice of life/ coming of age josei with a more simplistic but aesthetical pleasing art style.

as the title might suggest, Nanami is a big fan of P.I.L. and other bands of the punk, neo punk and new wave movement such as The Stranglers and The Killing Joke

8. Yellow Submarine by Bill Morrison

A comic adaptation of an animated film such as Yellow Submarine? Yeah, I was skeptical at first too but hear me out: This is really great. Morrison did an amazing job at capturing the trippy and psychedelic feeling of the legendary Beatles film. As the 1968 film used the medium of animation as an actual form of art to accomplish things only animation can do, Morrison did the same thing and used the advantages of the comic medium to accomplish things only comics can do. And it works. It really works.

Every single page of this colourful book has a different panel layout. Some of them are so beautiful and creative that I’d love to have a full-size poster version of them :’D

If you liked the film, if you love the psychedelic age, you’ll probably like the comic too. 

9. In The Pines by Erik Kriek

“In the pines, in the pines, where the sun never shines...”

5 Murder Ballads, some might call them dark Country Music, each of them beautifully illustrated by Erik Kriek. Atmospheric, dark and gritty and always on point to match the spine-chilling western-like storytelling of these ballads, great for fans of horror literature a la E.A.Poe.

10. Andy - A Factual Fairy Tale by Typex

Allright folks this is it:

Typex’s “Andy” is by far one of the best comics/graphic novels I’ve ever red. It defenitely is my personal favourite reading of 2019 (and tbh I kinda doubt anything will top this anytime soon)

This is more than just a biographical take on of the most enigmatic pop-art artists of 20th centuary’s America, this is a portrait of the 20th centuary itself. There are so many references to art, history, literature, music and more that I could fill a book counting them all. And of course this is a monument for the medium of comic itself. Typex really managed to show what comic’s are capable of (At this point I’m really sorry I can’t explain it better I’m not good in writing stuff like this yet...)

Visually one of the most appealing things are the different art styles Typex manages to pull off so well for every chapter in Warhol’s life because each of them are a mirror of their zeitgeist. The introduction of Warhol’s childhood during the 30s is drawn in a cartoony style of old news paper comic strips. The chapter of 1967 has a psychedelic edge. The chapter of the early 60s shows similarities with the works of Roy Liechtenstein

So many icons from the 1930s-1980s have a cameo in this graphic novel it’s just amazing. If you’re even remotely interested in anything of this time period you’d definitely should read this. (seriously, READ THIS). But at this point I’d also like to mention that this comic does not shy away from showing very explicit content and sensetive topics (please keep in mind this has a mature rating for a reason)

Yeah so I couldn’t give this piece of art enough praise. It is absolutely brilliant, a masterpiece in every sense and word.I wasn’t too aware of Typex before but appearentely he also did a graphic novel on Rembrandt. I’m gonna read this too.

Some honorable mentions:

California Dreamin` by Penelope Bagieu

I haven’t red this one yet so I can’t say anything more about it. But I wanted to let you know that a graphic novel about the life of Cass Elliot exists.

Before Watchmen: Silk Spectre by Darwyn Cooke and Amanda Conner

One of the prequels of the legendary “Watchmen” by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. It’ “only” an honorable mention because you’ll have to be familiar with the Watchmen universe to fully get all of the story. This prequel focuses on Laurie Jupeczyk, the second Silk Spectre and her own adventures during 1967, the summer of love in San Francisco.

Hip Hop Family Tree by Ed Piskor

Another one I haven’t fully red yet, but so far I’m loving it. It basically tells the history of Rap and Hip Hop from the early 70s to the mid 80s. The art style is intentionally old-school wich really fits it’s tone and setting.

Fritz The Cat by Robert Crumb

I suppose I can’t make a list like this without at least mentioning an absolut icon of the underground comix movement. Crumb created the adventures of this nasty junky cat during the 60s. Fritz can be seen as a satirical mirror of counter-culture’s zeitgeist.

and speaking of Crumb, his “Heroes of Blues, Jazz and Country” trading cards are neat too...

allright that’s it for now. like I said, if you have anymore suggestions, feel free to add ^^