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wollfling · 4 years ago

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Hi Allie! I wondered if I could ask you for some advice. I want to draw really badly and create art but I really don't have any skill! I know that in order to get better at art I have to actually do it, but I feel so overwhelmed by how I'm not where I want to be with it right away, and also with where to start with learning to draw. Do you ever feel that way when you draw? And if you do how have you gotten past it?

[I am literally so sorry this is so long oh my God. My mind has been very jumbled lately so I accidentally rambled too much, but I hope it still helps you in any way orz] Oh sweet little anon.. ;^; I do feel that way, a lot of the time if not all of the time! Just recently this week, I felt like I just couldn't draw despite picking up my pencil and scribbling, it just wasn't working partly for that exact reason! Overwhelmed by not being where I want to be with it! These things happen and its frustrating. It's hard for me to imagine as a beginner artist because I've been drawing since I can remember but I will still do my best to offer you some meaningful advice!

But first, to answer your very last question, getting past it can be a little random sometimes. This whole week after being unable to draw, I was laying in bed trying to sleep while reflecting on some heavy feelings ive been having and memories. Suddenly part of an image flashed in my mind and I got up to immediately try drawing it. (The drawing I recently posted and captioned "parade"!) I worked on it completely driven by my heart, and so it didn't matter at the time if it looked good or was anatomically correct, etc. Right now I am working on another heart-driven drawing, but if I tried to work on lets say a study or character drawing instead.. I dont think i could!

My point in all this is that, I think that its important to know/understand why you want to create art, and I think my advice would change slightly depending on your answer. For me personally, I am an emotional artist. I create art that (usually) reflects how I'm feeling or topics I am emotionally drawn to. Illustrations, drawing characters, writing comics, etc.. I think this week, while I'm definitely struggling with my skill level, I was so burdened by some things I've been feeling lately that I couldn't focus on or enjoy anything that I was trying to create, until I was able to release it all in a drawing. (And I'm still not done with them hence why I am now working on another related drawing, but im making SOMETHING and feeling passionate which cannot be said with any of my other attempts this week.) So since these drawings purpose outweigh my current issues regarding my skill, I am able to work on them. If that makes sense?

Okay im sorry with how long-winded this all is so far and all about myself orz but I wanted to give context on how I view art and I think if you asked someone who creates like. Hyperrealistic drawings their answers would be completely different. So! I wanted you to be able to judge if my advice would work for you if that makes any sense at all...!!! Moving on to my actual advice then..!

This is a little general ofc because I dont know what sort of art you are creating, or what your passion behind it is. And if after this you would like to tell me more about your art I would love to hear! 🥺💗 you are welcome to dm me or if you send another anon/ask i think that would be good too since.. well other artists who see can also give their own advice too!

Okay. So anyways lol, first I want to tell you that your desire to create art makes you an artist, despite your skill level. And therefore, everything and anything that you make even now has value. Even if right now you're drawing wonky shaded spheres and cubes! I understand its frustrating when wanting to make something but you feel like your skill isn't "there" and how that can prevent you from making anything to begin with!! But I really want you to try and work through it! Ignore it, disregard it, give your worries about your skill the silent treatment!! And I know its near impossible to do but if its getting in the way of you actually creating well.. thats the worst! We can't have that. If you really want to draw, then you really NEED to draw, you know what I mean? You deserve to draw! The hardest part for like 80% of artists is working around their skill level. I promise you will get there, but for now, you can't let it get in your way. And I realize me saying "oh you feel like you're not good at drawing and its hindering you from doing it? Just do it" sounds like Chad advice but ;---; unfortunately its the reality that comes with being an artist. If you tell me more about what you like to/why you want draw then maybe we can find some alternate lines of thinking that will help you (for example "this tiger i drew looks like shit but drawing all of her stripes was therapeutic and made it worth it!" If lets say you draw as a stim, opposed to "this tiger im drawing looks so bad I can't even look at it anymore " dhsjhd I really hope that this all makes sense lol.)

Moving on, learning how to draw.. this also depends on what you enjoy drawing but my main piece of advice here is study from real life. I grew up drawing cartoons and anime, and now that I want to draw a little more realistically.. its so hard!! If you study real shapes/people/animals/etc it might be easier later on when you understand fundamentals to bend them if you decide to create stylized or surreal art. However if right now you like to draw stylized art, I would recommend to keep working on your personal style while studying from real life on the side simultaneously! Any way you look at it, understanding how shapes, lighting, colour, etc work in the real world will help you out even with the most obscure pieces. And since art is a learned skill yknow you need to build those brain..pathways..and such. Im not a scientist but you get what i mean. Studies are the equivalent to lifting weights! I would recommend the website quickposes (com) they have a library of images that they throw at you at random. The site can explain itself better than I can lmao, check it out!!!

I really hope i was able to offer you something of value here, I didnt mean to ramble so much. I'm excited for you to grow as an artist, I love when I hear about others deciding to learn how to draw ;-; please feel welcome to ask for any clarification (as im having a hard time articulating my thoughts lately) or if you really just want to ask or say anything! ♡♡♡ again sorry if this was more than you bargained for length wise dhsishskshksj

#im wishing you the best anon!!! you can do it!!!#and im 100% serious please feel welcome !!#also if any other artists want to chip in I think it would be fun! ♡

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megan-lovell-blog · 5 years ago

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journal

Placing myself within contemporary art structures.

I think I have found it difficult to place myself within a contemporary art framework, I find myself in my work, as in all other aspects of my life, straying from the status quo and rejecting societal norms. To me there is an internal struggle between the bourgeouis of the art world and how out of touch this feels with my views of the world and my place within it. Nevertheless, I am very much a traditional maker, to me the only way I have felt justified in creating work, is to create work with a very high level of skill. I am disheartened, in many ways, by the switch in the art world of concept over skill and craftsmanship, and feel as though the latter must very much exist in order for the former to be relevant. Art often feels very capitalist to me and with that it loses it's sense of soul, however I also struggle to see the justification in making a piece of work that anybody could make. As an artist, as in all other fields of work, I feel as though one has to be skilled in their medium. I have also often found it difficult to really be confident in what it is, I want to say. The turmoil is again present in a feeling that I dont find myself wanting to preach or feel as though I am trying to make a comment on anything from a pedestal, as though the viewer would be entirely unable to come to this revelation on their own. Despite this, I find myself to be quite an opinionated person, with a huge amount of discontent in many aspects current society, as such I find myself living on the fringes, with a markable sense of disenfranchisement that inevitably feeds continuously into my life and sense of identity. So paradoxically, I am attempting sometimes to keep the very essence of my being and belief system out of my work out of a sense of ego and pride that I don’t want to ram my views down the throats of others, whom I believe are largely blind to the system that they are playing into. I am also concerned that in trying to force political or societal commentary or meaning onto work, it will seem forced, convoluted and inevitably too loaded. Until now, I have immersed myself in what i have felt to be the most honest part of art, exploring materials, honing craft, justifying my existence in the art world based on my attention to detail and commitment to craftsmanship. I can not, however, deny the fact that there is subliminally some very specific imagery and themes that reoccur within my work. Thematically, there is a distinct air of the fantastical with a macabre and slightly unsettling undertone. For me, there is some very personal symbolism and meaning involved in each individual piece, that I have begun finding it really interesting to dissect as a tool of self-reflection and understanding... sometimes almost to the point of psychoanalysis. However, this is quite personal and actually not something, I find is necessary or relevant to share with a viewer. What I have begun to explore within the slightly fantasy nature of my work is an element of story telling, creating characters and stories that go with them. I have not yet decided whether or not I feel the need to display the story with the pieces or they can help influence my creation of the sculptures which can speak for themselves. I find the idea of characters as metaphors for elements of the human condition, particularly within our current societal structures, means that I can explore these themes that are so fascinating to me without feeling as though I am standing on a soapbox. I guess the slightly macabre element to my work is largely that I dont feel the need to work through or bring attention to the easy and light bits of life, the bits that nobody talks about but everybody struggles with consciously or not are far more interesting to me, I want to bring attention to the vulnerabilities, fears and laments of humankind. Currently, I am almost solely using children as my subject matter, I believe this is because of the innate vulnerability, fragility and innocence that they represent. They are also a blank canvas, for me they represent infinite possibilities and potential. When we are children we can be anything and we believe we can be anything, it's as we age that the effects of responsibility, fortune, courage, education etc constrain us and map our lives moving forwards. With regards to the showing of my work, I struggle with the idea of my work being solely for a gallery, or a private collection, it makes it again, for a particular kind of person to enjoy. I want my work to be viewed outside, in public, for as many people as possible to see and interact with. Moving forward I would really like my work to potentially take on an element of entertainment, potentially in the form of narration of puppet shows, or a sculpture trail that is guided and narrated maybe even in song. I would really like my work to be accessible to many and to evoke imagination, joy, sadness and thought, I want it to make people think and maybe relate the microcosms to their own lives and unique experiences. I have begun to make links with my own work and a mythical element, much of the anthropomorphisation and even choice of materials innately has metaphor and meaning. I have begun to draw out the subconscious meanings that are involved in the symbolism in my work. Many of these meanings for me are very personal to my own experience of life and probably a certain amount of trauma related to this. I do however, feel as though the symbolism and general themes are not unusual and are commonplace in the lives of many and thus can be easily identified with. I feel as though my work is definitely currently sitting within the realms of contemporary classicism with regards to my requirement to make work that is of high attention to detail and anatomically correct. I feeel as though this works really well alongside my use of a fantastical element, myths and legends, which often featured in the works of classical and neoclassical artists.

Myth-Science/ Fictioning Lecture with Simon Clarke

Simon Clarkes lecture on myth-science and fictioning was incredibly useful and inspriring as it discussed the use of fiction and myth-making to create alternative realities and concepts that are difficult to explain or would be difficult to get one's head around otherwise. Simon discussed the use of fictioning in explaining concepts that could bring about radical change, potentially in creating a new future society, dealing with capitalism and environmental issues. Simon also led a couple of exercises based around creating fiction as a group and another involving making sounds as a collective and trying to work together to organically grow the sounds. These were fascinating to me as it was a lesson in collaboration, connection, releasing inhibitions, and felt very thought provoking as we so infrequently come together in a group of people, particularly those we don't know well, and engage in something that feels vulnerable and exposing. Futhermore to this, infrequently do we work as a community without favour for anyone to create something that is of benefit to all of us, even if this is simply chanting, singing and stomping ones feet. The story we created with joint ownership, was about a newly hatched octopus treading water above inky depths, who upon hearing breathing above him remembered he was no longer a bowl of tulips and so jumped up out of the water to look for the tulips which were his former self, only to be sucked into a vacuum cleaner where he spent eternity cotinuing his search for himself in a world of dust particles. Initially, I felt as though much of the story was not as I would have liked to write it myself and seemed stupid, but on further examination it was actually quite beautiful, meaningful and very reminiscent of old fables or stories from many cultures around the world. To me it spoke of someone trying desperately to grasp at old aspects of themselves which they hold in reverence and thus never being able to fully actualise the person they have now become, which has a world of potential you are too scared to find out. This lecture spurred me on to look at the use of myths in art throughout history and looking at the relationship between myth and metaphor within art. 'Metaphor allows us to understand abstract or inherently unstructured subject matter in terms of a more concrete or at least more structured subject matter' (Lakoff 1993:228-229). Much like it was discussed in Simon's lecture, stories, metaphors and myths have all been used as vehicles for broaching much more complex and often contentious or loaded topics and ideas. I also came across the notion that the time in which many of the myths we still know today was very poignant in the creedance they were given as without science there was more validity in mysticism as genuine explanation. I would potentially argue that one may as well believe in the old gods and any number of other old wives tales, in fact if they did so with so much unquestioning vehemance as they do capitalist constructs, the world would probably at least be mostly nicer and a bit more fun, as this is just as much a made up concept as the tooth fairy but with a horrendous amount more greed, callousness and poverty.

Woodcutting collaborative Project

This has been a challenging project for me as I feel it doesn't really fit for where my work has been going recently. I felt resistant to it as it seemed not to showcase my strengths, but I have overall enjoyed the project and have found a way to make a piece of work that I feel is relevant to me. The woodcut is of a young girl being held up by nature, with which I have written a story that has actually been very challenging to write. For me it is quite poignant and very close to my heart, I am not sure if I feel they completely match as pieces of work, as the picture itself very much has more of a bite the hand that feeds element to it. To me it speaks of the idea that we are held up and kept alive by a natural world which we then abuse for our own satisfaction, greed or desire to own thebeauty of as opposed to just witness it. I am pleased with the image overall, and feel as though it is something I would like to pursue further potentially for a future sculpture. Unfortunately due to coronavirus, I was unable to print this picture using the facilities at university but I wanted to see it through to a final conclusion so I have managed to create a version of the print using oil paints and a wooden spoon method. For me, I don't feel as much connection to my own 2D work, it doesn't have as much movement or life in it.

Blacksmithing competition 20x20x150

During this term, I entered an open call blacksmithing competition run by Hereford College of Arts, for this, I made a sculpture of a forged steel person with a large 'spoonhead'. I wanted to enter this competition to have an opportunity to work to a brief, making something from a particular size of 20x20x150 square bar steel. It was also an opportunity to apply for something outside of university and look at the process of getting your work out there to be viewed on a larger scale. Unfortunately the forge at uni broke 2 weeks before deadline so I had only one day to produce a piece. I made my spoonhead person using someone elses forge outside of university and have written a story to go along with it. The piece itself, is a prototype I suppose, as having made it, I envision there being many of them all outside as an installation, in the woods or on a hillside. I have even considered maybe asking other people to make one each, with the idea maybe that they are all effigies of our egos, for which the spoonheads are a metaphor. Please read the story attached to the people if you would like more info.

Forging has been a relatively new process this year but one that I have been fascinated by in terms of metallurgy, process and skill. It is truly alchemy in its changing of a solid object into something completely other. Next time I would like to look at making the head even larger and thinner and applying repousse techniques for adding features.

Storytelling within my work

This term, I began to run with the obvious fantastical element of my work, and attempt to get to know my characters, for a better understanding of where they come from within me and also as a way of better making their messages clear within the works. As a result of this, as the characters come to life through process, as does their story begin to reveal itself to me. I have been writing whort stories alongside the works to aide me, I am as yet unsure as to whether I will want my stories to be viewed as part of my work or if they are part of just my process in understanding my work and the characters that I create. I don't know yet if they are necessary as an addition that adds to the intrigue of the works or if they overexplain the works. Lots of the deeper meanings of my work, I have found, are rooted in my own experiences of life and relationships - which has been really interesting for me by way of self therapising and understanding where I come from as a person - however the minutia of my personal life are not particularly relevant to others when viewing my work. In making it less specific to me, it makes it more relatable to others.

Process Sculpturally and 2D

This term, I have decided to take the focus off of making 2D work, and only making work that I am genuinely interested in and proud of making. I haven’t been finding 2D work to be challenging or engaging currently and in this, it doesn't hold my attention or passion. For me there is a lack in impact with flat work, making work in 3D automatically brings it into being as an entity within the world that we can interract with and view from all angles. It's important for me to explore the use of materials to convey a greater depth of meaning within my work. Materials are an extra language to be used to evoke thoughts and feelings within the viewer without having to be overt. Having said this, I am also in love with working with metal, for me it's capabilities are endless, and the more one understands the metallurgy involved in metalwork, the more you are able to achieve. As the term has progressed, I have been researching artists and painters and have found some, such as Beth Carter and Kiki Smith, that have been making 2D work alongside their sculpture that is often heavily stylised and has an element of fantasy and macabre to them, I have continued to look into other artists making work that is flat. that is interesting to me and have found that I am actually quite attracted to developing my own drawing skills to make work with a style that is more interesting than my own, which can be seen within my sketchbook. I am also been motivated to have a go at painting for the first time as it has another element of process and layering material, as in my sculptures so far. I have been really intrigued and inspired particularly by Ruth Spear and Shaun Friend as contemporary artists that I have found through instagram. From this I have spurred off into looking at pre raphaelite artists such as Millais and Waterhouse as these also create very skilled work with an element of myth and storytelling involved. I feel this also adds in to my placing within the realms of contemporary classicism. Storytelling for Earthly Survival

Lisa Wright and Tom Piper - Future Forest

Despite feeling as though this work is slightly clumsy in terms of craftsmanship and not entirely to my taste, I feel as though it is a good example of work that is environmentally and perhaps almost a little politically charged in the direction of persuasion that I myself would subscribe to. It gives art a higher purpose than just being something that is beautiful to look at. It is also interesting to me as I would like to make work with the view of it being shown outdoors and existing therefore in both harmony and juxtaposition to the natural environment. I feel as though taking art out of the gallery and putting it into a place that has more of a soul, gives it more depth and an environment to interract with. It also makes the work more accessible to a larger population who may not so readily engage with showing their work in a gallery. As with my work there is the use of classicalesque poses and figures with a contemporary element, which brings the dialogue of past and present.

Kiki Smith

Kiki Smith makes use of a very stylised way of drawing that is reminiscent of old fashioned fairytale illustration with an almost childlike feel which, coupled with an often macabre subject matter with a heavy fairytale subtext, makes for an unsettling feel in her work. I feel like although her style is quite different from mine, her intent is similar in that it uses story to make comment on the world and the human condition. Often Smith also uses animals in her work similarly to myself. Her sculptures have similarity to my own in that often they use nude figures and animals, however, like her drawings - there is less of a focus on realism and more stylising than in my own. Her work generally focuses around the plight of women and equality, which is quite reminiscent of her time starting out within the art world. This has less relevance for me within my work at my time in history, however I feel there are similarities with the use of fantasy and imagery to allude to more serious, societal observations.

Tim Shaw

For me there is a great deal of confliction in my feelings about Tim Shaw's work as an artist. 'The rights of Dionyssus' is a piece that I love for the sense of movement and energy he has created within the installation, they feel crazed and a little depraved in their festivities, which I feel strikes a perfect amount of discomfort to go along with the awe. In terms of making, I am really inspired by the artistry and skill that has led to the making of this particular piece and I can definitely draw similarities with the anthropomorphic direct metal figures anfd they are very relevant to my love of narrative, legend and fantasy. Having said that, it has been drawn to my attention by some people that these and his bullfighter pieces also, have an element of cultural appropriation around them, this personally I can understand more with the bullfighter as myths from so long ago don't belong to one people necessarily in a europe that has seen so many invasions and decimation of the original civilisation, these myths belong to us all at this point. In many of Shaw's other pieces, however, I find that they are too overt. Often I feel they are too over sexualised, to a point of a reliance on shock factor and also not particularly respectful of women recently in his work strapping a woman covered in tar and feathers to a pole - a problematic decision from the privilege of a white middle aged man.

Beth Carter

Beth Carter's work is interesting to me as she has a real attention to detail and high level of aptitude in relation to her craft. Her work draws a lot of parrallels to mine with the heavy use of anthropomorphisation. She also regularly uses mythology, such as her minotour pieces. Her birdman is also reminiscent of a plague doctors mask. In her drawings she focuses on children and a juxtapose between innocence and a sense of uneasiness/ slightly macabre undertones. Evident from the drawing of the girl with the lion cub, she uses found imagery often as inspiration, this particular girl is one I recognise from a Sally Man photograph. I feel as though her work is also very related to fragility, awkwardness, sadness, apathy and the human condition. I feel as though her drawings particularly bring a fantasy element, her proportions and composition can occasionally be intentionally childish too, helping further to transport the viewer into a feeling of childhood and ones own experiences.

Phillip Wakeham

I became acquainted with the work of this artist in a gallery in St Ives and it stood out to me from the rest for the amount of movement and texture in the pieces, this coupled with a use of mythology and slight abjectivity makes for work that is considered and relevant in contemporary art, whilst also reminiscent of more classical sculpture.

Jovana Tucovic

I was drawn to Jovana Tucovic largely for her use of materials with this series, I can draw a lot of parallels with regards to the texture and patina of the the steel and the patchwork like make up of her figures. I think she has also created an eery and uncomfortable deathmask type effect with her melancholic faces. The fractured, delicate feel of these pieces, despite the fact that they are made of a very hard material with a dark finish is a beautiful juxtaposition, as though they are just managing to keep their hard exteriors together. In terms, as well, of her work being figurative and quite clearly having links to vulnerability, I feel as though there are reasonable links between these pieces and my own work. Much of her other work also explores the use of materials, properties and textures to help allude to her meaning with subtlety and finesse. Similarly to myself, she makes work reminiscent of classical sculpture, in her use of poses and choosing to make busts and brings to that a contemporary element.

Grayson Perry

What I really love about Grayson Perry's work is the narrative, his work is so rich with story and life and comment on very everyday experience and society. Its intelligent, progressive and actually makes use of an incredibly old method of storyboarding. These are very reminiscent of old roman vases telling the tales of the gods. quite similarly to my own work, Perry makes use of classical craftsmanship and art practices to make work that has real contemporary relevance. He also creates a show with his work, everything has a rich sense of life and colour, including the way he often dresses himself. Conceptually, Grayson uses his work to make comment on societal issues in a lighthearted and more easy to digest way, which is something I am really intrigued by and hope I am finding a way slowly to emulate within my own work. I can find that work being too preachy, serious or loaded is often disregarded in a way that any sour medicine shoved down ones throat by an holier than thou do gooder almost inevitably is. Grayson's work sugarcoats the pill enough to make the message linger.

Emma Talboys

This artist is my own mother, so in a way there will no doubt be many ways in which she has influenced me as a person and thus my work generally. She works almost entirely in panting or print, using vibrant colour. Something, I have until now tried to avoid personally, potentially in an attempt to distance myself from my mother. Emma Talboys' work is by and large quite impressionist, but also has a high level of skill and mastery of the paint, she really focuses in on the pieces within the work that she feels she wants the attention to be drawn most to. Quite similarly to my own work there is a use of quite macabre undertones and heavy symbolism. Also quite similarly to my own work, she uses her artwork as a self therapising activity to help her work through her own trauma.

Sally Mann

I have chosen to include this artist as her photos play with vulnerability, relationships, discomfort, awkwardness and many more disquietening feelings around childhood and the human condition. Although contentious in many ways as the photos have been called exploitative of her children, there has also been enmity regarding the fact that the photos are staged and quite disingenuous and potentially therefore commodifying and glamourising of a lifestyle or themes that do not relate to her directly as a wealthy, white, western woman. Despite this, the photos are evocative and beautifully disquietening. They speak of elements of my own childhood and provoke memories for me from a very shaping part of my life. Sally Mann is also included as I have definitely used her photos as part of my own found imagery for reference during recent projects.

Lobster Claw boy

The Lobster Claw boy that I have created was again an idea that just came to me and has taken me until quite far into the process of making him to get to know him enough to understand his story. I felt as though I was constantly forcing a narrative on him and I didn't quite understand where he had come from for a long time. I thought maybe he was about the young hearted, whimsical, strong characters that I was attracted to, but I don't feel this is the case. As I have slowly pieced this boy together bit by bit, I have begun to realise that his armour like body is about defense and the patches like bandages show an idea of a wounded person who is putting up a defense mechanism. The steel in the body has been forged at high temperature giving scale and texture making him look worn and weathered but his skin also looks fragile and flesh-like, making it quite confusing to see softness in such a hard material, mirroring again the idea of vulnerability and strength.He originally was supposed to have a a head made from the same process but this hasn’t been possible due to the lack of facilities following coronavirus. The lobster claws which were originally supposed to be made from stained glass (but COVID_19 made this impossible) again represent this idea of strength, they were supposed to be made of glass, which is very delicate, reminiscent of fragile masculinity but also fragile defense mechanisms. The fact that lobsters mate for life is also poignant as one of the reference photos I used for this piece was of a young boy holding hands on the beach with other children, the idea that ones big shows of strength or heavy defenses, actually often make us totally unable to form intimacy or connection with others. I decided to make the feet out of clay for the below text. I feel as though these add another layer to my piece, the idea that from the outside one might seem perfect or revered for their strengths in whatever element, but there is a fundamental hidden flaw that causes a refered person to fall from their pedestal. I have made the feet but again due to COVID-19, I haven't been able to get them fired. The origins of the phrase "feet of clay" are biblical, but the words can also evoke the mythology of the Titan Prometheus, who sculpted humans out of clay. This photograph by the American Bruce Nauman (born 1941) is taken from the series Eleven ColorPhotographs—including the better-known Self Portraitas a Fountain––which explores the relationship between image and language, taking cues from popular puns and turns of phrase. To have "feet of clay" is to have a hidden flaw or character defect unbeknownst to those who admire you.

Magpie Girl sculpture

This character from very early on has been quite clearly a representation of my own flighty and discontented nature. It represents my desire to constantly be elsewhere, doing something else and my magnetism towards the next shiny thing. In the story associated with it, it also explains where I believe this came from, and my pain at the disillusionment, that the world was not as I had always been told it was. It also represents the idea of building my own wings to take me away to the life that I want to have, I feel as though I have been striving for years to forge myself an unconventional path to bring me fulfillment and happiness away from mundanity of what is expected of one in modern, capitalist society. This sculpture has been made of scrap copper and I have left on as much of the natural patina as possible as the aged tarnished look, I feel is not only beautiful but also representational or the tired and tarnished feeling of drudging through a world, in a way of life that you don't want to be a part of. I have decided to make it articulating, like a puppet or a doll and stitch it together to show the idea that she has been made to be manipulated. The sculpture was supposed to have a magpie costume made of separate materials, mostly leather and fabric, this difference in material is to compound the idea that these wings do not naturally belong to the girl and have been forged by her. the stitching on her body is also a metaphor for her being a little broken and her life being stitched together, it could also represent the idea that I have often felt as though I was a little stitched up to find out that adult life was really not at all as I had been led to believe.

Unfortunately this piece is not finished to the level I wanted as coronavirus meant I had not workshop access anymore, so I will hope to continue it to completion when I have facilities again

. This piece is actually made using very old traditional repousse techniques, which add a classicalesque feel and a very unique appearance to the sculpture within the context of modern art.

Magpie girl painting

This is my first attempt at oil painting. I decided to have a go as an experiment and given that I am currently unable to make my sculptural work due to COVID-19. I have found painting to be very difficult and there is a lot of new skills to learn. I have found that I am not entirely happy with the working product, the process is not to my taste, it is not personal enough and it lacks a tangibility which I find more and more to be integral in my work. The concept is based around the magpie girl story and character that has emerged. In this variation, she used the wings that she made to jump out over the water to be free so the painting sees her floating in the water in her costume..

Working with metal

Metal must be understood on a structural level in order to make it move as you want it to, it also has a bit of a mind of it's own and thus there is a dialogue with the material, there has to be an element of allowing the material to come to life and to have it's own say in the direction of it's future form, which is something that I love. I also work with scrap metal largely, this is particularly important to me, as I don't feel comfortable with using finite materials or adding to the tat that is amassing in the world. I would much more happily give something already in existence, a new lease of life.

Things to explore moving forward

Can I bring an element of participation or putting on a show in order to try and bridge or work through the awkwardness/discomfort/ difficulty in finding and or engaging in human connection? Do I want my stories to be part of my process to help understand my work, or do I feel as though they would be of benefit to the viewer? Does this maybe overcrowd or overexplain my work, or does it add to intrigue?

COVID - 19

The shut down of university facilities has massively affected my ability to get much of my work finished to the level that I had previously envisioned. To begin with this really disheartened me as I have been incredibly tied to my vision for my work. My friend sent me a photo of a mixed media sculpture by Susanne Ussing of a woman in a greenhouse, this was largely made in chicken wire and paper mache with wood and sheet steel components, this has helped me to look into other avenues for finishing the work. Alongside a conversation with Lucy Willow about the fact that artists will always make art no matter what their facilities are, this has helped me to open up to other possibilities for making work. With the beginning of the coronavirus lockdown, I felt quite detached from my artwork and as though I was quite unable to see the point of making, I felt that growing a garden and building a chicken coop became my new priorities and that art was no longer so important. I also feel as though anything I'm interested in making work about now has slightly shifted and as though it's a bit of a shame this has come midway through the project as it kind of takes away from the cohesion of the body of work a little. I have started to make a few drawings, as I am unable to make much else currently, about the connection of people to the land. These maybe highlight a definite shift in perspective for me that has become evident even more so during this time, that we need to focus more heavily on bridging the gap of disconnection. Disconnection from each other individually, as cultural groups and disconnection from the planet. I have been particularly lucky during this trying time as I live in a community, so our lives have very much become about supporting each other, building better communal veg plots and becoming more self sufficient. Whilst mourning the loss of my summer plans, I have also become astutely aware of a sense of humbling and finding contentment in simpler things.

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