#can you blame me with how blatantly ''about to kiss'' they looked at *multiple* points?

[maemil]

I owe Takeshi Miyazawa my life for the art in this issue

[danny-chase]

Hi i wanna get into NTT but... before i do i kind of want to know how kory was handled? Is she objectified a lot? Did her characterisation age well or am i better off reading anothother verion of her?

I crowd sourced from the NTT discord, also I think another good person to ask would be @autisticcassandracain, they've read NTT and know a lot about Kory!

So non-spoilery answer: It's like the least worst long running series with regards to depicting her that i've read (so this takes into account rhato 2011 - horribly objectified, Titans 1999 - blatantly ooc to make her the jealous girlfriend trope, Titans 2008 - again with the objectification though not nearly as bad as rhato, and anything past the boot she's much more like her cartoon counterpart - in Titans United which i do enjoy she's just not really the focus but the next issue should feature her if the plot goes the way i think it will). Her costume in NTT is pretty skimpy, and she is a model, but it's balanced to some extent by her wearing more modest clothing and pushing back about being perceived as stupid by the others/there's a scene where she pretty much preaches body positivity. A think a lot of us (in discord) tend to see her as sex positive in NTT rather than completely objectified.

Spoilery answers with specific critiques and warnings for NTT (i would HIGHLY recommend taking a look at these before reading ntt)

The writing will get worse after George Perez leaves the comic. He leaves after the first arc of the second comic NTT (1984) and things go on steady for a bit, but go downhill as time goes on.

Dickkory is not quite as cute as it's portrayed in fandom. As someone pointed out to me before, it starts with the "surprise kissing" trope which is genuinely not supposed to be taken as a bad thing by the authors but could still be bothering to some people. Dick is just blatantly mean and uncaring to Kory, and she sticks with him despite this - there's more context given later as to why Dick is acting like an asshole, but it's unsatisfying to see no one step in. There relationship is better after a certain plot point with Dick is resolved and he stops being an ass.

General warnings for age gaps in relationships being completely undiscussed and portrayed as normal. Terry is awful and i pretend he doesn't exist, the narrative of Judas contract victim blames Tara to the point they say she (the 16 year old) took advantage of Slade (the 40-50 year old). The Teen Titans Judas Contract movie handles the event much better despite not having most the characters in the og version involved. Age gaps are treated as the norm and there's multiple characters dating older woman. There's also not a ton of discussion surrounding Raven making Wally fall in love with her, and it's played so that Wally generally looks bad. There's an issue in a different run that explains why Raven felt the need to do it though, however in NTT it's kind of just brushed off as unimportant. The same thing also happens with Donna and Hyperion.

The Mirage Arc - I would not recommend reading Titans Hunt or the comics after. There's rape and victim blaming, major character death, major character injury (and fade pointed out some ableism surrounding Vic in the Technis arc), it's just genuinely a bad time.

The writing around Kory comes off kind of racist at times. Yes she is an alien, however others have pointed out how her history and skin/hairstyles could be latino or black coding. This plus the combination of her being described as angry and emotional driven and her home as "savage" (i confess i can't remember if they say the word, but they generally portray the people of Tamaran as driven by emotions instead of logic and stuff) can be offensive. t4titans also pointed out Marv uses the biracial child with shitty white dad and Southeast Asian mother trope. There's also a very racist comic relating to NTT but not in the series, Tales of the New Teen Titans #1 surrounding Vic's upbringing (i kid you not they made him join a gang...)

[irishseeeker]

Prompt: Day 1, Jealousy and all its cousins @katexanthonyweek​

Kate Bridgerton  was definitely not jealous.

(She was.)

rating: mature!

---

Kate tried really not to dislike people.

That did not mean she was always successful but she truly did try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

It became an exceedingly hard task when certain people made it incredibly difficult for Kate to like them. Especially before she knew them.

For example, the woman across the room who was standing far too close to her husband, openly flirting with him.

That was hard to like.

Kate was not a fool, she noticed how women behaved around Anthony. She could accept women would always be attracted to Anthony. He had been a notorious rake for a reason, after all. It made no difference to their marriage, Anthony was hers. Whenever he was in a room, the female gaze naturally drew to him.

She could not blame them. Her charming husband, who would kill her if he ever heard her say this, was beautiful.

He was incredibly handsome but there was so much more. There was no better feeling than being wrapped up in his broad shoulders and muscular arms. He had long, dark eyelashes every woman dreamed of. He had a strong jawline that she loved to kiss and trace with her fingertips when they lay in bed. He had a head full of dark hair that she loved to run her fingers through, unlike some men his age who were already bald.

Kate herself could barely keep her eyes off of him and she got to see him everyday, especially when no one else did. She got to see him when he first woke up in the morning, completely content with his tousled hair and half awake eyes. She had the privilege of seeing him with his shirt slightly unbuttoned, his cravat loose and best of all-with nothing on at all.

It was a challenge sometimes in public not to touch him, especially at balls and parties when he was dressed so well. She usually kept her hands occupied with a drink or an appetizer.

Anthony usually subtly touched her anyway, always improperly, to tease her or just because he wanted to.

(Even when she blushes and scolds him for it, they both know she loves it.)

However, she could not accept women who stepped a bit too far. From across the room, a woman was talking to Anthony. She was leaning towards him, taking subtle steps towards him and creating an improper distance between them. The woman was petite, blonde and her skin glowed in the dimmed lighting of the ballroom. She was beautiful.

She also had her hand on Anthony’s forearm.

Kate did not like this feeling. This bitter, bubbling anger in the pit of her chest as she watched Anthony across the room.

She was not jealous.

(She was.)

Technically, that was also Kate’s forearm. She had married that forearm just under a year ago.

They would be celebrating their one year anniversary, hosting their first ball as Viscount and Viscountess Bridgerton in Aubrey Hall next week. The ball would mark the end of the season, and Anthony and Kate were staying in Aubrey Hall for the rest of the summer before returning to London.

Kate was incredibly nervous.

She still felt at odds with her role as Viscountess. Her broken leg had put a stop to her social calendar after only a month of marriage, and she had not been able to carry out many of her roles as Viscountess.

It had taken a few months for her leg to heal. Kate could finally walk again, without the need for her stick or Anthony’s arm. Anthony had objected to their vigorous social calendar since the season had started but Kate was determined to attend as many balls as they could. Anthony, of course, was always by her side.

She was trying to do exactly as Violet Bridgerton would. Her days were now filled with parties, balls and social calls. Her first ball as Viscountess would be perfect.

It had to be.

She could not bear to think of the possibility of disappointing Violet and Anthony. There was a nagging feeling deep inside her, that society had been right to question why Anthony Bridgerton had chosen Kate Sharma to be his viscountess. The whispers that she was not fit for the role.

She was determined for those whispers not to be right.

Kate knew how lucky she was to have Anthony. Her marriage was wonderful, something she never would have dreamed of for herself. They loved each other to the point it was almost nauseating, as Eloise and Colin enjoyed to remind them, but they were also friends.

Anthony was her best friend.

Oh, she truly was nauseating.

The woman currently talking to her husband was making it exceedingly hard for Kate to concentrate on anything but them. Anthony had been talking to this mystery woman for just over three dances, when Kate had left him to dance with Benedict. This woman was now laughing at something Anthony said, her blonde curls bouncing in the air as her head tilted back.

What was so funny?

Kate loved her husband to death but he was not that funny.

“You cannot keep dancing with me to avoid dancing with other eligible ladies,” Kate teased Benedict, deciding to focus on her brother in law who was waltzing with her for the third time that evening.

“Can I not enjoy the company of my sister and not have any ulterior motives?” Benedict’s grin was wide across his face as he spun Kate around, narrowly avoiding her clumsy feet. She was a challenged dancer on her best days but when she was distracted by her husband across the room, it was every dancer for themself.

She glanced across the room again and now Anthony was laughing. Why was he laughing? She hoped it was a pitiful laugh.

“I thought I was doing you a favor by asking you to dance for a second and third time,” Benedict said, “I was distracting you from glancing over at my dear brother every few seconds.”

“I was not glancing. I was simply observing the room,” Kate said, but even Kate did not believe herself. She was blatantly staring at her husband. “Besides, we both know you are dancing with me to avoid dancing with one of the eligible ladies your mother is trying to marry you off to.”

“I believe three dances is all we have, so in a few moments I will have to venture back into the wild and attempt to avoid my mother for the rest of the evening,” He said, “However, I have been waiting for you to ask me who he is conversing with since the last dance. I thought you would give in five minutes ago”

“The thought had not crossed my mind.” Anthony had told her previously what a terrible liar she was. She previously thought it was because he knew her so well that she was incapable of lying to him, but she really was quite dreadful at it.

“Your face says otherwise.” Benedict glanced down at their feet before his teasing gaze returned to Kate’s face. “You have stepped on my feet at least four times while staring over there.”

A pang of guilt hit her. She was being rather rude. It was Benedict, so she knew he was not actually offended. Kate had gotten to know him quite well since her marriage. He joined them for dinner quite often, and spent a lot of time with Anthony at Whites or at their home. “You know, this is precisely why Gregory and Colin are my favourite brothers. They would never point out my flaws.”

Benedict chuckled. “Oh, how you wound me.”

Kate could not help herself. She had to know. “Who is that woman?”

Thankfully, Benedict chose not to tease and indulged her curiosity. “Her name is Eleanor Trent, previously Falmouth. My father and her, the Earl of Falmouth, attended Oxford together. They were friends until his death.”

Kate’s face fell. “She was a family friend?”

“Yes. She has brothers around the same age as Colin, Anthony and I. I know there were discussions of a betrothal, between Anthony and Eleanor. Nothing came of it, father died and Anthony would not discuss it further. He focused on the family and Oxford.” Benedict was not shy with the details, which Kate was equally grateful and upset about.

Kate’s stomach suddenly felt nauseous. Had something happened between them when they were young? Had Anthony courted her before his father’s death? Eleanor was the perfect candidate for a Viscountess. The daughter of an Earl, a family friend, a regular part of London society. “I imagine your mother was displeased.”

Kate loved her mother in law. Violet Bridgerton had been nothing but kind to Kate from the moment they met. She had been even kinder before their wedding, despite the circumstances that caused their nuptials.

They shared a lot in common, their love for gardening for one and met for tea multiple times a week, but Kate had always feared she was not the wife she had envisioned for her son. The same fear that had made itself known to Kate before her wedding remained inside of her: she feared Violet believed Kate had trapped her son.

The woman had witnessed her son’s face in Kate’s bosom, for heaven’s sake.

Benedict did not deny it. “Mother was furious when Anthony still refused three years later after he finished his studies. Eleanor later got married that season to a Baron and that was that. It took our mother a long time to learn that Anthony only does what Anthony wants to do.”

The music ceased and the dance ended, all the participants clapping before departing the dance floor. Benedict and Kate moved to the edge of the dancefloor, weaving through the crowds towards the refreshments table. Kate had been dancing for quite some time and she was quite thirsty. She wanted to find Anthony, but when she turned to look for him he had disappeared.

So had the woman.

Her heart sank in her chest.

“Brother, I believe that is enough dancing with my wife for one evening.”

Kate turned around to see her husband standing in front of her. She had regained her ability to breathe and realized how silly she was being. He smiled at her and she felt her insides melt.

It was ridiculous really, how this man’s smile always made her giddy.

She wanted to fall against his chest and bury her face in his neck, but instead she moved to his side and wrapped her arm around his. That was as affectionate as society would allow. Anthony covered his hand with hers, squeezing it briefly. It was a promise for later.

“Thank you,” She said, smiling as she took the glass in his hand and took a long sip, the dryness of her mouth disappearing. Her husband had developed a sense of always knowing what Kate needed. He had rarely left her side during her bed ridden months with her broken leg and they had spent a lot of time together.

Kate wondered if they could leave soon. She wanted the privacy to ask Anthony about that woman earlier, she could not remember him ever mentioning an Eleanor when recounting his childhood tales.

“Jealous, brother?” Benedict teased, grinning at Anthony as he took a sip of his wine. “I was always the better dancer. Kate simply wanted a better partner.”

Kate let out a long sigh, her eyes flicking between the two brothers. “Now, boys-”

“Kate took pity on you and indulged your attempts at hiding from our mother’s matchmaking endeavours.” Anthony narrowed his eyes at his brother, his competitive edge seeping out. Her dear husband did enjoy being the best at everything and disputed anyone who thought otherwise. “My waltz trounces your waltz any day.”

At the mention of his mother, Benedict scanned the room around them before visibly relaxing, his shoulders dropping. “It is a nuisance. Mother had cornered me at every ball so far this season, introducing me to potential marriage candidates. Colin had his wits about him to travel as far as Greece to get away from her.”

“You should consider looking for a wife,” Anthony said, scanning the crowded room for their mother. “I presume mother is hassling Eloise.”

“Not you too,” Benedict replied, glaring at his brother. “I am perfectly capable of finding my own wife, thank you. She simply is not here.”

Anthony, now bored of his brother, turned to his wife with a teasing smile. “How many times did you step on his toes?”

It was Kate’s turn to glare at her husband. “None, thank you very much.”

Benedict decided to join in on his brother’s teasing, glad for the change in topic. “Lying is a sin, Kate.”

“Oh, Violet!” Kate said, looking over Benedict’s shoulder.

Benedict jumped and darted to the side, causing Anthony and Kate to burst out laughing, muffling their laughter into their sleeves once other party goers began to stare.

Benedict glared at the pair of them once he realized his mother was nowhere to be seen. “Very funny. Your ball at Aubrey Hall is only next week. Maybe I shall take a page out of your book and compromise some young lady in the garden?”

That wiped the smug smirk right off Anthony’s face.

Kate had to disguise her snort with a cough into her glove.

Before he could retort, Anthony’s eyes froze at something across the room. “Who is that man Eloise is speaking to? Alone?”

Kate and Benedict’s heads turned in the direction Anthony was glaring in. The man’s head was all they could see, Eloise hands waving in the air as she spoke passionately about something.

“I will be right back,” Anthony squeezed her hand before he charged in the direction of his young sister.

“Benedict!” The distinct voice of Violet Bridgerton came from an unknown direction, but it was enough for Benedict to say a quick apology to Kate before disappearing into the crowd.

Kate found herself alone at the refreshment’s table.

“Lady Bridgerton?”

Kate finished swallowing the biscuit she had put in her mouth, trying not to choke before she turned around to see who had addressed her. Kate held in her gasp, eyes widening as she looked at the woman in front of her.

It was her.

She bowed, and Kate did the same. “It is such a pleasure to meet you, I hoped we would be introduced sooner. I have heard so much about you.”

Kate felt herself blush. This woman was assuming she knew who she was. “Apologies, I do not believe we have met.”

“Oh! Forgive me,” She said, shaking her head and laughing to herself. “I would have thought Anthony would have mentioned me. I have known Anthony and the Bridgertons my entire life. I am Lady Eleanor Trent. It is such a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Apparently, she was on a first name basis with her husband.

Kate smiled pleasantly, feeling slightly uncomfortable. “How lovely to meet you, Lady Trent.”

“I am very much looking forward to your ball in Aubrey Hall.”

Kate did not know she was invited. Violet had handled the guest list. “I am very happy to hear that.”

“I have not been there in quite some time. We used to visit Aubrey Hall a few times a year throughout my childhood. It was like a second home. I adore it. Have you been yet?”

Kate blinked slowly at her odd question. “Have I been to my home? Yes.

For some reason, Lady Trent was not phased by Kate’s blunt response whatsoever. “I have been more times than I could count. I have known the Bridgertons my entire life, as I am sure you know. That is quite funny, I have known your husband longer than you.”

Kate tried to unclench her jaw, breathing steadily through her nose. “I did not, actually.”

“Oh, how odd.” Her laugh was almost a shriek. “I was practically a Bridgerton until my marriage.”

Kate was not being dramatic, that was a peculiar thing to say. Benedict had not conveyed it that way at all.

Lady Trent continued to speak. Kate wished she wouldn't. “Was your father an Earl? A Duke? A Viscount?”

What did that have to do with anything? Kate's heart sped up at the mention of her father. “No. My father was a gentlemen. What does that have to do with anything?"

“Oh.” Lady Trent was not subtle with her disdain. “How interesting. Forgive my curiosity. One would think that must have made the transition quite difficult.”

Kate blinked. “Pardon?”

Lady Eleanor took a small sip of her wine, nodding sympathetically. “It must be difficult coming into such an important role as a Viscountess at such a young age. Especially when one is marrying a man like Anthony.”

This woman had no clue what type of man her husband was.

“I know this from experience, of course. I would be terrified if I came into the role of Viscountess with no experience,” Eleanor smiled sweetly at Kate, her voice dripping with everything but kindness. Her not so subtle dig made Kate’s blood boil.

“Oh!” She let out a cheerful laugh. “I am sure you are doing a fine job, Lady Bridgerton.”

Kate was nearly positive she had been insulted at least twice in this bizarre conversation.

If one thing was certain, it was that Kate did not like this woman at all.

She particularly did not like how she had been looking at her husband but her personality was just as unpleasant.

Kate was debating how significant the consequences would be if she launched her wine at Eleanor’s pink evening dress. She could stumble, blame it on her healed leg. It would be worth the earful she would get from Anthony, who still believed her leg had not fully healed and Kate should still be bedridden.

Kate didn’t cause scenes intentionally, she had been in the background for most of her life.

It definitely was not something a Viscountess would do, to cause such a scene, so she resisted.

Instead, she finished her glass in a few gulps. Kate replaced it with a glass from one of the server’s trays quite quickly as she composed herself.

“Thank you so much for your concern.” Kate matched the falseness of her tone, her smile stretched far too wide across her face to be genuine. “It has been a splendid year. I suppose, experience or not, some people are just born for certain roles.”

Eleanor appeared as if she was at a loss for words. She simply nodded, her smile wrinkling the skin on her forehead. “I could not agree more, Lady Bridgerton.”

“I must go find my husband. It was such a pleasure to meet you, Lady Trent. I look forward to seeing you at our ball next week.” Kate certainly was not. “Good evening, Lady Trent.”

Kate found Anthony in the crowd, he had also been searching for her. He took her arm in his, squeezing it softly. That was their signal it was time to go home. They kissed and bid their family goodnight, making their way towards the front of the house to get their carriage.

Anthony nodded at the valet and opened their carriage door, making way for Kate to step in before closing it behind them.

“I am exhausted,” She said, pulling a few pins out of her hair that had been digging into her scalp all evening. Relief flooded her head as she gently massaged her sensitive scalp. She couldn’t wait to take off her corset and go to bed.

Kate knew she would not be able to sleep until she spoke to Anthony about both of their conversations with Lady Trent. Her interaction with Lady Trent had left Kate feeling uneasy.

“Come here.” Anthony pulled her on top of him, her back resting on the carriage wall and her feet resting on the cushioned seat.

“There is a seat right beside you.” Kate laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and lightly running her fingers through his hair.

“I prefer you on top of me.” Anthony moved his hands down to lightly squeeze her buttocks.

“I thought you liked being on top?” If he wanted to tease, Kate could tease him right back.

Anthony laughed, nuzzling her neck and leaving a trail of kisses from her collarbone all the way to her lips. “Right as always, Lady Bridgerton.”

“Did you have a good evening? I did not see you much,” She murmured against his lips. She could tell, with his fingers already creeping up her thigh, that talking was the last thing on her husband’s mind.

She would have to be quick if she wished to find out anything. The carriage ride home to Bridgeton House was less than fifteen minutes and he would not waste one of them before they had to stop.

They would not get caught in a carriage.

Again.

Once they arrived home, they wouldn’t do any talking once they got to their bed chamber.

She had enough willpower to focus on the task at hand and not let her husband completely distract her.

Right?

She needed to find out about his conversation with Eleanor.

His lips brushed hers before he spoke. “It was fine. A ball is a ball. I would have much preferred to stay home with you or at least sneak off to the gardens. Why did we not do that?”

Kate let out a laugh, her fingers tightening around his strands of hair as his lips moved down across her jaw. “How many gardens do you wish to compromise me in?”

“All of them,” Anthony said, his lips tickling the skin of her jaw as his laughter vibrated against her.

“Did you speak to anyone interesting?”

“Mm?” His teeth tugged at the top of her bodice, his tongue dipping behind the satin fabric.

“Anthony.” Her voice shook slightly as she spoke, his tongue was eliciting tingles throughout her chest and between her legs. “I said, did you speak to anyone interesting? Anyone you have not seen in a while?”

She would power through. “I met someone new, actually. Lady Eleanor.”

Anthony hummed in agreement against her skin, “Oh. Yes.”

“Benedict mentioned you have known her since you were children.”

“Indeed.” His face remained expressionless. He wasn’t listening to her. He was far too interested in pulling her dress down, which he did promptly.

Kate had lost the battle, and Anthony had won the war. He palmed her breasts in his hands, squeezing them softly as he pulled her in for a deep kiss. She could feel him hard against her thigh, and she reached down to palm him through the fabric of his breeches. His groan filled her ears and made her limbs weak.

“Oh,” She whispered, her lips parting as Anthony began to kiss his way down her neck, down her chest until his tongue grazed her nipple. He teased her momentarily before taking her fully in his mouth.

The carriage came to a halt and Kate hastily pulled up her dress, smoothening her dress and hair to fix her disheveled appearance. This was not their first indecent carriage ride. Anthony helped Kate out of the carriage, not letting go of her hand as they raced up the steps and entered the foyer, wasting no time running up the stairs.

If she did not keep up with Anthony, he would carry her up the flights of stairs to their bedroom.

Anthony dismissed her maid, fully intending on undressing his wife himself.

There wasn’t any talking for the rest of the night.

Kate’s morning had started off pleasant.

The following morning, Kate and Newton had joined Eloise and Penelope for a walk in the park. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and the cool breeze was refreshing. They joined Kate at Bridgerton House afterwards for some lemonade, before leaving to return home.

She had called on Daphne for the remainder of the afternoon and on her way home, her carriage had stopped at Madame Delacroix’s modiste for one last fitting before the ball.

“Lady Bridgerton!”

Kate had finished her fittings and was waiting on one of her gown’s to be packaged. The last person she had wanted to see had walked into the modiste. “Lady Trent. How lovely to see you.”

She smiled widely at Kate, it was unnerving. “How are the ball preparations going?”

“Very well, thank you.” Kate had always found small talk with strangers quite uncomfortable. Kate could not find the words to describe how she was feeling in this current situation. She had not found the opportunity to discuss the evening with Anthony last night and he had left early this morning for Parliament. She would not see him until she arrived home.

“How nice,” She replied, nodding her head slowly. It reminded Kate of one of Hyacinth’s frightening dolls. “I always found the menu planning quite tedious.”

Kate nodded. “Indeed. A pleasant task, nonetheless.”

“Have you finalized your menu?” Lady Trent asked, examining the different materials in the display case.

Kate nodded. “For the ballroom, yes. We will have traditional English pastries, desserts. I would not want anyone to go hungry.”

Lady Trent continued to nod slowly, her lips in a flat line. “It is always a good idea to keep things simple. However, I do remember Anthony having a more adventurous palate.”

Kate would hardly call pastries, sandwiches, desserts and food displays she had planned simple. Kate had known this woman for a day and she had already had enough. “Why would my husband’s palate be any concern of yours, Lady Trent?”

That shut her up.

Kate squeezed the ribbons between her fingers, trying to stop her shaking hand. This woman was a beast.

“Have you ever been outside of England, Lady Bridgerton?” She asked, circling the ribbon’s display with disinterest.

“I have not,” Kate said through gritted teeth.

“What a pity.” She tutted, her curls bouncing in the air as she shook her head. “I suppose my traveling has given me a new outlook on life. It has opened me to a whole new world of cuisine and flavour. Traveling really exemplifies how dull the English customs and cuisine we are all accustomed to are.”

“I am sure it will be lovely. I must be on my way. Good day, Lady Bridgerton.” She bowed her head before turning around, swiftly exiting the modiste.

Kate was furious.

She sat incredibly still, not uttering a word during the carriage ride home until she reached Bridgerton House. She made her way towards the drawing room, not checking to see if Anthony was home in his office.

She stood in the middle of their drawing room, pacing in the same spot before she screamed.

There’s the slamming of a door and Anthony appears, Newton barking at his feet, looking incredibly alarmed. “Kate! Kate. Are you alright?”

Anthony charges towards her, holds her shoulders, scanning her entire body to assess any damage. “

“No. Yes, but no. It...it is that….that woman,” Kate spat out her words.

“What woman?” Anthony asked, frantically looking around the room.

“That woman. That, that-what was that word you taught me the other night?” Kate’s

“Bitch?” Anthony supplied, looking incredibly concerned for his wife.

“Yes!” Kate waved her arm in victory. “That bitch.”

Kate had sobbed in front of her husband before, from their declarations of love to the agony of her broken leg, but she had never expressed such fury before.

Anthony had not the slightest clue what was going on. “Kate, what the bloody hell are you talking about?”

Kate was pacing the room again. “Lady Eleanor Trent, of course. Firstly, she was standing far too close to you. Then she touched your forearm. That is highly improper-

“At the ball?” Anthony furrowed his eyebrows as he thought about it. “Wait.”

Anthony stared at her as if she had grown another head. “Kate Bridgerton. Is this all because you are jealous?”

Her husband looked positively gleeful.

“Anthony!” Kate nearly threw a pillow at him.

“I am sorry, I am sorry,” He pleaded, biting his lower lip to restrain his smile as he walked towards her with open arms. “Tell me what else happened.”

“She introduced herself and the conversation was strange. She was incredibly rude last night and this morning. She insulted me, my father, my

Anthony’s face darkened. “She insulted you? She insulted your father? That is unacceptable. I will make sure she is not welcome in London again. I will call on her and tell her exactly what I think of her-

Kate shook her head rapidly. “The last thing I want is you going near her. She has some strange infatuation with you. She referred to herself as practically a Bridgerton until she was married. Did you court her?”

“I barely knew her, Kate,” He said, looking bewildered at Kate’s words. “I had not seen her for nine years until last night. Our parents were mainly friends. Her family usually visited when I was at Eton. I most certainly did not court her, no.”

Kate did not reply, although she was relieved to hear Lady Trent’s words had been based on delusion. Kate felt incredibly overwhelmed, as if every emotion and fear she had been bottling up was crashing into her at once.

“Kate,” He stepped towards her cautiously, wary of the readily available pillows within her grasp. He sat on the couch, extending his hand towards her. “Come here, darling.”

She broke, practically falling into her husband’s arms who wrapped himself around her, pulling her onto his lap. Their foreheads and noses were touching as he spoke to her.

His lips brushed her cheek as he spoke softly. “Can you tell me what else is wrong? Is there something else going on?”

She can’t meet his eyes, instead she stares down at her hands in her lap. “I am terrified I am letting you down.”

“Kate, you could never let me down,” He says, affection flooding his voice as he tilts her chin up softly with his index finger to look at her face.

Kate took a deep breath. “You have had so much on your shoulders for so long. Since your father died. Between your family and your duties, you have always worked so hard. I want to do whatever I can to help you. I want to do this right. I want to make your life easier however I can and I want to be a good Viscountess. I am really trying. I just feel like I am failing. What if she was right? What if my lack of experience means I am not right for this role? I-I want you to be proud of me.”

He leans down to kiss her firmly and it’s the type of kiss that makes her toes curl. “Kate,” He murmured, drawing back but staying as close as possible. “You are the perfect Viscountess because you are my Viscountess. Everyone adores you. I was merely existing before I met you. After you, I began to live. You brought this light into my life that I didn’t think was possible. Everything I do is for you and everything I am is because of you. I am so proud of you. I am in awe of you. You are everything, Kate. Everything.”

“I love you,” She says, because that is all there is to say. She loved him, and he loved her, even when she acted slightly insane in their drawing room. That was all she needed. Anthony was all she needed.

She could do anything with Anthony by her side.

“I love you,” She whispered,

“Anthony,” She whispered a few minutes later, feeling a lot calmer. “I was jealous, you know.”

Anthony tried his best to not look too pleased, but he was slightly smug. “Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with.”

“Not all of us can shove people out of the way, you know.” If Anthony saw a man try to speak to Kate, he simply shoved them out of his way to his wife.

Anthony shrugged. “It is quite an effective method.”

“I did not like how she behaves around you,” Kate said, nibbling on her bottom lip. “When I saw her touching you and standing so close to you-I did not like how it made me feel.”

A panic stricken look flashes across his face.“Kate, I would never encourage it-”

“Sweetheart, I know,” She murmurs, cupping his cheeks in her hands as she kissed him softly. The thought had never crossed her mind and she immediately went to comfort him. “I know. I know you would never stray.”

She felt his sigh of relief. “You would kill me.”

“No I would not,” She lightly teased, pecking his lips. “That would be merciful. I would physically and mentally destroy you.”

“That will never happen,” Anthony murmured, brushing some loose strands of hair out of her eyes. “There will be no more joking about infidelity.”

Kate took a deep breath before she spoke again. “So you have noticed Eleanor flirting with you?”

Anthony cleared his throat, frowning slightly as his uncomfortableness set in. “I have noticed. She is not exactly subtle.”

“I would never have married her. She was a young girl with a crush, which I cannot fault her for. I am incredibly handsome.” Kate rolled her eyes at her husband’s cheeky smile. “However, she was never kind. These recent events have only re-confirmed that. I remember when I was seventeen, I had come home for Christmas. Her family had come to stay for a week. She was incredibly rude to our servants. She cared more about parties and appearances than family. She was so disinterested in my younger siblings to the point of being cruel. She was not the type of person I could marry.”

“Why would your mother want you to marry her?” Kate asked, resting her forehead against his.

“My mother was grieving.” Anthony shrugged his shoulders, running one of his hands soothingly down her back. “She thought she knew what was best for me. She has always chosen to see the parts of people she wanted to see. Not all the parts that were in front of her.”

“Well, I for one am very glad you did not marry her.” Teasing was always an effective way to snap Anthony out of one of his serious thoughts, and she was successful when he snorted.

“As am I.” His thumb was making small circles on her cheek.

“She insulted my choice of food for the ball.”

Anthony raised an eyebrow at his wife and stared at her. “What?”

“She called it simple English cuisine,” Kate said, still incredibly bitter. “Who in their right mind does not like scones and cucumber and chicken sandwiches?”

“Colin will be there and he will wolf them down, so there is no fear they will not be eaten.” Her brother in law was returning to England the day before their ball, conveniently missing most of the season much to his mother’s dismay.

“As someone who lives in your household, your menu choices have always been exceptional. I have also eaten many of those food choices, including off of you, and they were delicious.”

“Anthony!” She smacked his chest, laughing against his lips as he stole a kiss. He always knew how to make her feel better.

Anthony had always made her feel safe, she had trusted him even when she did not particularly like him. That stormy night in his library had changed everything. It was his nature that made people admire him and trust him. He took care of people. He had been misjudged by society, made out to be a cold hearted rake incapable of true affection.

It angered Kate beyond belief. Anthony had suffered more than most, losing his father and becoming the head of the family at such a young age. He had become a father to his siblings and a Viscount to his tenants and society. In a way, his life had begun and ended when his father died.

He was the first person she opened up to about her fear of storms and the reason she had been brave enough to face her fear.

He had become her anchor, and her his.

“Our ball is going to be wonderful, do you know why?” Anthony asked, grinning at his wife.

“Why?” She responded, smiling right back at him.

“Because it is ours,” He said simply. “It is celebrating one incredible year of marriage and many more to go.”

“Until forever.” Kate rested her forehead against his, feeling completely content.

Anthony nodded in agreement. “Forever it is.”

A week later, the Viscount and Viscountess' ball was a complete success.

The food was devoured.

Laugher could be heard all around the ballroom.

The Viscountess was praised for her efforts throughout the evening.

Lady Trent's absence was not missed.

Anthony had surprised Kate at the end of the evening with a show of fireworks.

It was perfect.

Kate and Anthony had their own private celebration that very night.

Edmund Bridgerton was born nine months later.

[crystxlclear]

sudden desire

chapter five: coraline meyer, marcus pike and the fortress of bad ideas

part six of sudden desire

prologue / one / two / three / four / masterlist

in which two best friends won’t admit they’re in love so they decide to have a baby together instead.

pairing: marcus pike x original female character (coraline meyer)

word count: 3.7k

warnings: a smidge of angst and a stupid suggestion

author's note: i accidentally deleted this nobody look at me. also, for some reason tumblr mobile isn’t letting me edit this so i can’t edit the font size, so that’s why it’s different formatting :(((

It’s been a week. An entire week since she’s seen him. A week since she’s heard his voice. And everything about it feels wrong.

There hasn’t been a day since they met that they haven’t spoken, but things seem different now. As much as she tries to forget what happened that night, she can’t. It etched into her mind and it plays there like a movie, vivid and bright and repetitive. What happened there, outside his apartment building, when they’d kissed each other in the rain like in one of those cheesy romance movies. All she can see when she closes her eyes are his; warm and brown and speckled with flecks of gold, sparkling in the dim light of his building’s doorway. All she can smell is his cologne, intoxicating and dizzying, the kind of smell she could drown in. Happily.

It seems almost pathetic to be crumbling at the memory of one brief kiss, one fleeting moment when she was tipsy and upset and definitely not thinking straight. She keeps trying to forget it, over and over again, to push it from her mind.

But she can’t. For better or for worse, she just can’t. But she has to, if she wants things to go back to how they were before. Because they’re friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

That’s all she wants to be, his friend. 

Even if, maybe, he can’t be hers anymore.

She hasn’t been sleeping, not really; between work, long hours that seem to creep by slower than they ever have before, his absence, and the ever-mounting list of disasters, she finds herself sliding into that half-dream-like state where she’s caught between sleep and the startling presence of everything slowly falling apart around her.

She’s tried to find the courage to call him or even just to answer the multiple calls and texts that she’s sent. But she can’t. Maybe it’s some self-preservation thing, the notion that, if she doesn’t answer, he can’t tell her they’re no longer friends. She can just go on living her life like he’s still there to talk to whenever she’s down, bringing her Chinese food most Thursday nights after he finishes work. She’s painfully aware that that’s counter-intuitive and completely ridiculous - how can you pretend someone is still in your life, whilst blatantly ignoring them? - but she’s lost too many people now to face that again.

Somehow pushing them away before they can leave or be pulled away from her seems the best option.

But Coraline misses him. God, how she misses him. She’s been cold ever since that night in the rain. It’s worse than normal, the chill pulling at her bones and drenching her in a permanent shiver. It’s like, every morning when she wakes up, someone pours a bucket of ice water over her head in the middle of a bleak winter, bleeding away any of the comfortable warmth he always painted her with. At first, she chalked it up to the rain. That their childish dash through the D.C. rainstorm had made her ill and that shivers were just the sign of oncoming flu. Or that maybe she is ill like Marcus had said. But she’s come to realise that, perhaps, it’s Marcus and his sudden absence. Like even him just being there distracts her from some kind of horrifying pain deep within her gut that she hasn’t even realised is there until she stopped speaking to him. 

It’s a pain made worse by her own making and, by the end of the week, she’s almost at the point of reaching for her phone and pouring her heart out to him in the form of an apology she isn’t entirely sure will make up for her ignorance.

She’s never been more grateful than when Marcus calls her, Friday night. It’s the fifth call that week but the first one she answers. It comes late, eleven o’clock, maybe, when he’s finished work for the day. When she can hear the rumble of the traffic as it passes on the road. It almost covers the sharp exhale he gives when he hears her voice and the gentle ‘hello’ she breathes over the line. She almost wonders if she’s hearing things, or it’s just the sound of a passing car, until his reply sounds just as relieved. 

He asks her out for coffee Saturday morning. Their usual spot. As friends, of course. Always as friends. Never anything more or less than friends. He doesn’t mention the kiss but the implication is there, thick in his voice like honey, weighing down his words. She accepts his invitation so quickly that it's almost embarrassing but she misses him too much to let it go.

...

They seem to fall right out of familiarity in the most familiar place in the world. It’s not like it normally is when they meet there; she’s welcomed by the same warmth and the low hum of voices but there’ll no hug, there’ll no brief moment when they take a second to watch each other, like they’re studying some brand new artwork in a gallery, and there’ll be no comfortable silence that settles between them when she first sits down. The only sense of normality between them is in the mug of steaming coffee that sits in front of Coraline’s chair when she arrives, because of course he’s ordered her a drink, because of course he knows exactly what she wants every single time. 

It’s cold out that morning. Colder than it has been for a long while; the air is crisp and frigid and frost clings to the window panes, a colourless kaleidoscope obscuring the glass. Everything is tipped in a gentle white, except for her fingers. Her fingers are leaden and painful and crowned with red, and they barely work as she fumbles with her phone to check for a text, expecting him to back out and say that he’s no longer coming. She wouldn’t even blame him if he decides not to. 

It’s a short walk to the coffee shop. It always has been — it’s just down the street from her apartment — but it feels like it takes an age to get there. By the time she reaches the door, fogged-up by the cold, the tea lights bleeding warm light through the clouded glass, she wonders what she’ll do if he says he doesn’t want to see her again. She wouldn’t blame him if he did. 

She still smiles when she sees him sitting at the table tucked away in the corner, where most people can’t see them; she’s not even cognizant of what’s happening, just sees the soft expression that settles in his face, halfway between relief and something unreadable, and her face is suddenly split with an even wider smile. She can’t help it. The relief settles his features and he watches her enter, her hands dragging against her jeans as she tries her best to brush away the sweat that has dampened them. 

Coraline swipes her tongue over her bottom lip and tugs it in between her teeth as she drops her jacket over the back of the chair and settles into the large plush armchair. It seems to engulf her; she feels small, like a child amongst the cushions. For the first few moments, she feels like she’s at an audition. Everything consumes her — the nerves, the adrenaline, the complete and utter dread — and she feels like she’s staring over at one of those strangers who knows what they want and, somehow, already, that that isn’t her. 

There’s no hug when she reaches the table, no moment when they take a moment to ground themselves in each other and the welcome feeling of their arms holding the other close. Familiarity is shot and they’re the same two people they were the very first day they met; those two, the unfamiliar, unlikely couple that introduced themselves over crappy FBI coffee in an empty briefing room. Only, this time, the silence isn’t comfortable, it’s painfully drawn out and laced with anguish. 

“I’m sorry.” That’s the only thing she can bring herself to say after the seemingly endless beat of quiet that settles between them. She’s wrapped in a thick cardigan, futile attempts to smother the shivers that grasp her limbs. She’s fussing, she knows she is, but somehow her jeans feel too wrinkled and her shirt feels too tight and she regrets wearing these shoes because they’re squeezing her feet. “Marcus, I’m sorry, I-“

But, somehow, he’s looking at her like she’s the sun. 

Their eyes meet across the table, that one little beat, that passing second, when their gazes lock and things seem familiar again, and that ache that’s been tearing at the inside of her chest for the past week slowly melts away at the sight of him. 

“I kissed you first.” He points out. It’s a matter-of-fact statement that’s punctuated by a sip of his drink. Coraline gulps. She settles back in her chair like if she presses into them hard enough, they’ll swallow her whole and carry her away from this place, back to familiarity. “You don’t need to apologise,” he insists. 

“I ignored your calls all week.” Coraline counters. It seems like a petty argument, that they’re both blaming themselves for the silence and hesitation between them. But Cora silently thanks god that he’s not blaming her instead. 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“I shouldn’t have ignored you.”

He’s looking at her with those brown eyes, all the warmth and brilliance that had pulled her in in the first place. “Coraline.” He says her name like it has a purpose. “Please don’t apologise.” 

She sighs. “Well, then, you shouldn’t either.” He cocks an eyebrow and settles back in his seat. Coraline lifts the oversized mug to her lips and revels in the overly sweet taste of the coffee she drinks far too much of. She’s sure the sugar must have gone to her head when the next words tumble from her mouth before she can stop them. “I liked it.”

She’s sure he almost chokes on his coffee but he does his best to hide it. He watches her for a second as she nonchalantly sips her drink, expertly hiding the way she’s screaming at herself inside for what she’d said. The FBI agent in him comes out — the one trained to spot liars, to notice bluffs and the subtle tells that give away what someone is hiding — but she’s glad she chose to wear her glasses that morning because they hide the wild panic in her eyes from across the table; he settles on the conclusion that she’s bluffing to make him feel better and his shoulders relax. “You don’t mean that.”

Did she mean that? Maybe she did. But he’s her best friend. She can’t. Can she? 

“Maybe I do.” She murmurs. 

He takes a sharp inhale of breath, exhales slowly and leans forward again. “I’ve been thinking-“

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” He’d usually laugh at that. Or fire back some equally sarcastic comment in reply. But he doesn’t; the corners of his mouth quirk up, a small smile, but that’s all. And Coraline’s heart sinks. The tension is thick in the coffee shop and it feels like the world is collapsing around her. “Sorry, inappropriate. Carry on.”

She knows where this is going. She’s had this conversation before, with Scott. It’s eerily familiar, gut-wrenching and terrifying and she feels like her heart is about to fall from her chest. The lack of smiles and the short words, the familiar setting that was somehow meant to make the blow softer. All she can think is how she doesn't want to lose him. She can’t lose him. Not now, not after everything.

She thinks that she might need him more than she realises. 

“I’ve been thinking about what you said last week.”

“I said a lot last week,” Coraline notes. “I was upset. And a little drunk.”

“I know, but I think it’s been eating away at you for a while, now,” he insists. 

She lifts her eyes from her mug, narrowing them in his direction. “What are you talking about, Marcus?”

“I’ve been thinking. All week, really. About what you said and what you want.” Marcus repeats. His voice is still soft and steady like it always is; he always reasons that it comes with the job, having to be calm in situations like this, but his eyes usually give him away, only for a moment, when they flicker with something Coraline can never put a finger on.

“About what I want?”

“If you really want a baby- if you’re serious- I’ll have a baby with you.”

This time, it’s Coraline who practically chokes on her coffee. Her fingers splay out in front of her mouth to stop a potential fountain of half-cold coffee from spraying out over Marcus. She watches him, gages his sincerity, and when she can’t see even the slightest suggestion of his proposal being a joke, she panics. Sure, she tries to play it off like it’s nothing, all amused eyes and level voice. She hopes it works because she can feel her heart pounding against her ribcage so hard that it’s almost painful, like it’s going to break straight from her chest and fall onto the table. “Haha, very funny, Marcus.”

“I’m serious.”

She glares at him. “And I’m serious. We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Marcus, you know why not.” Coraline sighs. “It just- so many things could go wrong-” Her gaze falls to her hands and she starts to chew on her lip, the sweet taste of her lipgloss the only thing reminding her that this wasn’t a dream, and that he really is sat before her proposing that they have a baby. “I don’t want to lose you,” she admits. Her breath is shaky when she inhales deeply. “And if we date or get married and have a baby and then we break up-”

“Cora, I’m not saying we should get married or even that we should be together,” he insists, “But, as your friend, I am offering you a family, if you want it.”

There aren’t many words Coraline can think to say. It’s just- all this- she hadn’t been expecting this. She’d prepared for a swift exit after he’d told her things were too awkward between them now that they’d kissed. She’d prepared for the ache in her chest when he told her he couldn’t be her friend anymore. She’d not prepared for him to offer her a baby. “You don’t want to be tied to me like that.” It’s all she can muster. Everything else she tries to stay falls short and dies on her tongue. “You could still meet someone better.” 

It sounds marginally better than ‘are you insane?’

“There’s no one quite like you, Coraline Meyer.”

At first, she thinks he’s professing his love for her. Like they do in the movies; like she’s Bridget Jones and he’s Mark Darcy and he’s telling her how he loves her just as she is. But that’s wishful thinking and there’s a pang in her chest when she realises it’s not what it means; she can’t figure out what it is that strikes her but she thinks it’s relief that they’ll stay just the way that they are.

“And, besides-” He leans forward against the table, further towards her. He wrinkles his brow and reaches up to scratch his beard hesitantly. “I’m a divorcee with a failed engagement under my belt. We’re in the same boat here.”

She’s not sure why she’s more struck by the revelation of Marcus’ past than she is at his offer, but she can’t help the way her eyes widen. She doesn’t mean them to — the news isn’t Earth-shattering or destroying — but there’s so much pretence around it that it feels like things might just be falling apart, anyway. 

Her heart drops; she wants to reach over the table and take his hand, to smooth away the worry and the anguish like he’d done for her so many times. But she can’t reach him. He’s leant back so far in his chair that she’d have to stand up just to reach him, if she wanted to. Instead, she puts down her mug and leans forward, her eyes meeting his for the first time, really. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She hopes she doesn’t sound like she pities him. There’s nothing she hates more than pity, and he didn’t seem like the type, either; Marcus was the only one who hadn’t made her feel small during her divorce. Maybe it was because, back then, he didn’t know her well enough, but he’d always made her laugh when she needed it. There was never any pity there. And she trusted him enough to never make her feel small.

Marcus doesn’t know why he’s never told her before. And he doesn’t know why he expects her to be mad he hasn’t told her, but she’s not. Her voice is just as soft as it normally is around him and she almost reaches for his hand. “Uh, well-” His hand came up to scratch the back of his neck. Despite everything, it still felt nervous telling her about his past. He’d never had trouble talking about those things with anyone before, even the therapist he’d been seeing when he first moved to D.C. But, mostly, things just seemed a little heavier now. “When we met, you were still going through your divorce. You were hurting and- well, it just never seemed appropriate, I guess.”

“Marcus-” This time, she does take his hand, when he leans forward. Coraline reaches across the table and laces their fingers together. “You should have told me.”

“Just being around you helped,” he admits, “You didn’t need to know why.” He pauses. “That came out wrong-“ He chuckles shortly and shakes his head. “I just didn’t want to burden you.”

“Burden me? You could never be a burden.” She watches their hands where they’re joined against the table, their fingers fitting together like it’s the most familiar thing in the world. Coraline glances back up at him, meets his gaze, and tilts her head. “We deserve better,” she insists.

She doesn’t care if it seems self-righteous, it’s true. They’re both good people — though Marcus is definitely a better person than she is, for all their faults and shortcomings — and they deserve better than the heartbreak they got. Coraline sighs as Marcus starts to rub circles against the side of her hand with his thumb. “You could have told me,” she reaffirmed.

One word changes the meaning. He shouldn’t have to tell her anything, he doesn’t owe her anything. He doesn’t have to share anything with her about his past; they’re different in that way, she guesses, because compared to him, she seems like an open book who spills all her secrets to anyone who will listen. She doesn’t even want him to tell her the details, if he doesn’t want to. If he’s not comfortable enough to tell her. But she wishes he felt comfortable enough to speak to her about it. 

He didn’t reply to Coraline, just smiled softly, glanced down at their hands for a moment before meeting her eyes again. “What happens now?” He questioned,

Coraline smiled softly. “Well, I’m going to go home and my best friend is going to come with me. Then, we’re going to order takeout and watch some shitty movie and pretend that this conversation and last week never happened.”

“Hmm- he sounds like a lucky guy.”

“The luckiest.” She muses; she watches the slow ripples in her drink. She’s pretty sure she’s the lucky one. “I’m going to go home, I’m going to eat ice cream and order takeout and it’s not going to be awkward or uncomfortable because we’re friends and love each other too much to throw that away. I’m also going to apologise for being a complete bitch and ignoring him for a week.”

“I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”

“You think so?”

“I’m sure of it.”

“That’s good.” The first genuine smile of the day steals her lips; it’s a welcome burst of light through the dimly-lit coffee shop that had grown colder and dull thanks to the rain clouds lingering outside. “Don’t tell him but I’d hate to lose him.”

He can’t help but smile. And he thinks that he’s blushing, too - his cheeks burned as he basked in her sunlight - but she doesn’t seem to notice. She’s smiling down at her coffee cup as she finishes the last drops of her drink. She stands and gathers her jacket and her mug and, as she moves to leave, turns back to look over her shoulder. Coraline extends her free hand towards Marcus. “Well, are you coming?”

It takes a moment for him to react. He’s just staring, revelling in the relief of a weight he hadn’t even realised his shoulders were holding. Even the heavy, frostbitten air seemed light now; Coraline takes his hand when he stands, almost as if it’s second nature, and sweeps towards the door, dropping her mug on the counter as she passes. The way she walks, it’s light she’s floating, and it’s a welcome relief that she’s no longer that some woman who walked into the coffee shop before. No longer that reluctant, faded woman who was hesitant to meet his gaze. She’s Coraline again, walking sunshine.

“My offer still stands, y’know,” he reminds her as the door opens and they’re hit with the frosty chill that gathered at the windows. It’s starting to rain a little, that fine drizzle that lingers on the breeze and makes your clothes cling to your skin, yet it doesn’t even seem to bother Coraline much. She just shucks up her jacket further over her shoulders, tugs insistently on his hand, and leads them further down the quiet street, emptied by the spill of the rain. 

Coraline hums and turns back to look at him. Her smile is gentle and appreciative; she appreciates the offer more than he knows, even if she thinks that it’s entirely crazy and reckless. It’s a life-changing proposition, for both of them, and the weight of it hasn’t quite settled yet. “We can talk about that later,” she insists and that’s when they fall right back into the comfortable familiarity they share. 

[stormguard798]

Jonnor: the storyline, the ending and my personal thoughts- a barely coherent rant.

To be frank, I heard about Lena and Stef Adams-Foster and Jonnor far before I even started watching the show. They had been touted as someone of the most influential lesbian and gay characters on television period, and eventually, I needed to see why for myself.

I could spend a whole other post espousing on what the creators did right with Stef and Lena, but that’s not what I’m here for. For most of Season 1, we’re introduced to Jude and Connor as friends, and honestly, we don’t get much of an inkling that they might end up being anything more than that until the very last episode. (Whilst I deem the Ouija board the cutest moment between the two of them - and yes, I believe that Connor did intentionally move that marker thing so that Jude would have closure with regards to his adoption - it felt like more of a friendship thing than anything else.)

And in Season 2, the awkward tension between the two on the ‘are we more than friends’ side of things, and while the whole parent forbidding it and literal instant teenage rebellion is pretty cut and dry, I feel the tension ended up being quite palpable and engaging, despite there not being very much of it. And I must say, I truly loved the last 2 episodes in handling both Jude and Connor’s coming out and getting together. (And let’s be perfectly blunt here, up until this point at least, Jude’s game is WAY stronger than everyone else’s.

But as we hit Season 3, I feel just a little bit disappointed - it’s as if the entirety of the honeymoon phase of the relationship happened completely off-camera. Whilst Jude’s entire turmoil with labels raises an important issue concerning the whole LGBTQIA+ community in general, I don’t feel like there was much showcasing of the relationship as a whole. (Side note here: please don’t ever out someone on their behalf. In my mind, that’s like Cardinal Sin No. 1) In a season filled with all the Callie/Brendan drama, the Mat and Mariana nonsense, and honestly whatever the hell Jesus is doing, is it too much to showcase a functioning relationship for once? It feels like the creators spent so long setting up for this relationship, only to show so little of it.

And now the breakup. Oh boy. I’ve never been in a relationship myself, but you’d think that after they’ve reached the ‘I love you’ stage in the relationship (which, given what they’ve already been through together, with Connor shoving Jude away and getting shot, is not that far-fetched to think about), they’d at least try a little…harder? I guess maybe with the sext Jude realises that he doesn’t actually view Connor in that way, or that he doesn’t want to think about things like that at this point, I’m not entirely sure. Either way, I don’t think that the 2 would be stubborn enough to not at least talk about how to make each other feel comfortable.

Or maybe they are: after all they did spend more than a year playing the blame game, avoiding each other instead of talking about they feel. Entirely to stereotype here: is this just a guy thing? Who the heck knows. Anyway, Jude feels sad that Connor doesn’t come down to San Diego to visit (weird that, it’s like he’s trying to avoid his sort-of homophobic, not accepting dad that he moved to get away from in the first place. Oh wait.) nor does he understand why Connor is immersing himself in all these activities in school (it sounds like he’s trying to ‘lay down some roots’ as Principal Sanchez said back in S1 and fit in within a completely new school as an out gay kid. Oh wait.). And Connor, the sweet, sweet child that he is, does nothing to defend himself or try and work things out. Just like that, a relationship that has been developing that had been developing for multiple season is broken up with the fanfare and drama of a dying mosquito.

Disclaimer here: I’ve stopped watching after the S3 finale at least for now based on just how upset I am with how the entire Jonnor relationship was handled as a whole. Maybe I should give a little more leeway to both Jude and Connor, for whom this is their first relationship, but considering how close they were, I’d expect them to try to at least fight for their friendship, if not their relationship. (Again, the sad lonely person in me has no idea if being friends with an ex makes any sense, but as Jude rightly pointed out, they were friends first.) What they’ve been through together is a lot to take on for anyone who’s still in middle school, and I find it incredibly strange that they wouldn’t even try to preserve anything of what they had. Maybe they decided that thisbeing the first relationship, they were bound to hit a lot of roadblocks, that it was incredibly unlikely they were going to find ‘the one’ on the very first try, but it’s not as if they don’t care deeply for each other. Cause they clearly do. As a third-culture kid, I find that whilst you do absolutely have to put in work to maintain a relationship, it’s definitely possible and worthwhile to do, but only if both parties are willing to put in the effort. Even in the very last episode, Jude is still questioning his sexuality, wondering that if he  does like guys or if he only liked Connor, showing the depth of if not romantic then platonic feelings they have for each other. And having such a pathetic breakup doesn’t do the relationship as a whole any justice.

And while we’re at it, can we just address the shallowness of Connor’s character as a whole? Besides mainly being touted as Jude’s love interest, (because at least from what I recall, he always shows up in reference to Jude) the only other facet to his character is that he’s really scared of coming out to his homophobic dad. Though it’s not to say the story of being out to parents who aren’t always the most supportive is not an important storyline, it’s also one that gets used a lot. Connor is a student-athlete, who besides an avid interest in sports, shows immense interest in other activities that are typically seen as stereotypically male. (Not that there ever should be stereotypically male things, but eh. You catch my drift. I hope) I  believe that the storyline of an out athlete trying to navigate the mire that is middle and high school sports would be incredibly fresh and engaging (especially considering Connor’s age and the working out of his identity), but I guess that not everyone feels that way? Either way, I feel a little bit robbed.

Now let’s have a brief discussion of what Jude actually represents. Simply put, he isn’t someone who is afraid to be themselves, to put on nail polish simply because he likes it, to start dating a guy simply because he likes him and be curious and thoughtful about working out who he is. Jude’s constant struggle of trying to work out how to organise his identity is something that I must imagine every LGBTQIA+ person has had in their lifetime, and ultimately his desire to not pretend to be someone that he’s not is something that we can all appreciate, such as his kissing of Taylor in the season finale to work out whom he’s attracted to. While I can guarantee that not a single person’s journey of self-discovery will be the same, the example of someone who is given the freedom to explore who they are and not be ashamed nor embarrassed about it is the shining hallmark of what everyone’s journeys should be like. And if it does end up with Jude being written as someone who’s bi or pan or just not straight in general, that’s a storyline that I can absolutely accept and respect.

As so amply demonstrated by Jude’s attempting to find online gay porn, the discussion of any kind of relationship or exploration of any sexuality or gender identity that isn’t a cis-straight one is completely undiscussed. I know at least for myself, that meant I experienced a lot of guilt and shame in trying to parse through who I was and whom I liked because the entire thing felt illicit. Like it was blatantly wrong. That because no one else talked about, I felt completely alone in the endeavour. And I must imagine that’s an experience that is certainly not unique to me. That is why I was so looking forward to a functional, relatable young gay couple, and I think my disappointment by how Jonnor panned out is perhaps seriously influencing how I’m viewing the whole breakup. (Cause seriously, the only other canon couple I could get behind is Coldray, which had negligible screen time - though that’s for another rant.) And judging from the general discourse on the internet, I think I’m not the only one who feels generally upset by how Jonnor ended. Either way, it’s not for me to decide, and I hear that Jude finds a new relationship in Season 4. Though I certainly don’t think that it’ll be nearly as wholesome and simple and just heart-warming as Jonnor was.

Ultimately, being the purveyor of fanfiction that I am, and given how generally dissatisfied I am with how the break-up went, I 100% plan on coming up with some canon-extension fanfic to explore what might happen if Connor and Jude did end up meeting again when they were older, when they’ve gone through a few more relationships to decide what they’re  looking for and what a relationship should be like, and see what might happen then. Honestly, I have absolutely zero clue where it’s going to end up going. But I do think it’ll give me the kind of closure that I’m looking for, and that’s okay. And for those are satisfied with how Jonnor ended, and who are very happy with how Joah (I refuse to call it Nude XD) turn out, and Jude’s character as a whole turn out, I absolutely respect that. Cause ultimately these are all fictional characters, and they should be treated as such.

Happy pride everybody. May you too be able to be yourself.

[howlnikiforov]

Black Swan

Chapter Twelve: Stuck

Pairing: Hyungwon x Reader

Word Count: 2296

Summary:  Sequel to Trespass Sometimes, some people can’t handle the idea of another’s happiness. Sometimes those people are those who were once close to you.

Hyungwon waking up before you was rare, more than rare actually. You were more likely to spot a unicorn during a blue moon than you were to wake up after Hyungwon. So when you heard him voice his good morning to you, you nearly fell out of the bed. His arms being the only thing keeping you from doing so.

“You okay?” he asked, hesitantly unwrapping his arms from around you so you could stretch.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. You just scared me is all.” you answered, staring at him.

He laughed, “How did I scare you?”

“You’re awake before me. I’m not used to that.” you replied, reaching a hand up to cup his cheek.

“Yeah...I really don’t know why I’m up so early.” Hyungwon said.

“What time is it anyway?” you questioned.

“Nine thirty.”

“Nine thirty is not early.”

“It is for me.” “Okay. That is true.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Decently yeah.”

“Just decently?”

“Yeah.”

“How does a kiss sound?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

“Yes. I do. I don’t want to do something you don’t want.”

“You know what I do and don’t want.”

“Mmm...I still like to ask.”

“Can you quit talking and just kiss me already?”

He kissed you tenderly, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to his body. You slid your arm around his neck to play with the hair on its nape. The kiss was languid, affectionate, warm; perfect for the early morning. 

You sighed into his lips, curling your fingers in his hair. He slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against yours and rubbing noses together. Your eyes fluttered open to look at him, a small smile gracing your lips.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing. I just like to look at you.” you answered.

“Mmm...I like to look at me too.”

You lightly smacked the back of his head as he laughed. With a shake of your head, you sat up and got out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Hyungwon whined, reaching out and grabbing your wrist to prevent you from going anywhere.

“To get in the shower,” you answered, chuckling at his grumpiness, “I have a lot to do today.”

“Like what? You just woke up, and we’ve barely said good morning.”

“Like I need to start planning how to get close enough to my father to get him to spill everything, and I need to research if what Daniel said about them could even be true.”

“That can wait an hour, can’t it?”

“I’d prefer it didn’t.”

“Damn. I just wanted to cuddle for awhile.”

“Would you like to join me in the shower then?”

“That would require getting out of bed.”

“Okay, but I’m still going to shower.”

Hyungwon let go of your wrist and rolled onto his back, throwing his arm over his eyes. “Fine. I guess all good things come in time.” he grumbled.

You rolled your eyes and gathered your clothes before leaving the room and walking into the bathroom.

You set your clothes on the counter and dropped the ones on your body to the floor. Turning on the water, you waited a minute for it to get warm, then hopped in. The heat of the water felt wonderful on your front, prompting you to close your eyes as you relished in its comfort. A pair of arms wrapped around you from behind, causing you to jump.

“Dammit Hyungwon.” you cursed, turning around in his arms and looking up at him.

He laughed, reaching a hand up and touching your cheek, “What? I never actually said I wouldn’t join you. In fact, I said I would.”

“You never said you 100% would.”

“Hmm...I thought I did.”

“Okay, but you can announce yourself when you come in!” you scolded.

“But where’s the fun in that?”

You hit his chest in retaliation, “I should kick you out for that.”

“Will you?” he questioned.

“You have thirty seconds to convince me not to.”

His lips immediately came into contact with yours, kissing you with a kind of intensity you wouldn’t expect from him so early in the morning. You slid your arms around his neck while he kept an arm around your waist and held your neck with his other hand.

This kiss totally caught you off guard, but you weren’t about to complain. You felt fire ignite in your chest as your bond amplified. Hyungwon pushed you against the wall of the shower, trapping you in his embrace and molding your bodies together. He pulled away all too soon, leaving you breathless and mesmerized.

“Is that enough to convince you?” he whispered, barely audible above the water.

“I think I might need some more convincing…” you replied breathlessly.

“Damn. That means I didn’t succeed. I have to leave now, don’t I?”

You were totally lost on what he meant. He didn’t con...oh. You forgot you told him he had to convince you to not kick him out. “No. Not if you kiss me more.”

His smirk alone caused your mind to go blank. His lips made you impossibly weak. You were sure that if he wasn’t supporting you, your knees would have completely given out on you. This kiss was more tender than the last one; perhaps because he wasn’t trying to convince you now. Still, the kiss did wonders on you.

When you got out of the shower, you quickly got dressed. You couldn’t spend anymore time to yourself; you needed to start on your research. Hyungwon was much less rushed when getting dressed. You tried to communicate how important it was, but he had trouble understanding why research was so important right now.

“What are you planning to do today?” you asked, turning to face him.

“I don’t know. I’ll probably go over all the reports I’ve been procrastinating on looking at.” he answered, putting a hoodie on.

“Ah yes. It has been a little while since Kihyun and I stopped going over those for you.” you opened the door to the bathroom and walked out.

“Yeah, and I’ve only glanced over them since then.” he followed you out.

“Ewww.” Minhyuk grimaced, walking down the hall.

“What?” you cried indignantly, halting your conversation with Hyungwon.

“I did not want to know you two were in the shower together first thing in the morning.” he replied, cringing and squeezing his eyes shut.

“It’s not like we did anything.” Hyungwon commented nonchalantly.

“I really do not want to know anything about what you two do together.” Minhyuk stated.

“You sound like Wonho.” you laughed.

“Can you blame me? If I brought my soulmate here, I’m sure you would react the same way.” Minhyuk voiced.

“Actually, we wouldn’t mind if you brought them here. Plus, it’d be very hypocritical of us to react the same way.” Hyungwon countered.

“Whatever. Go get your own house already.” he rolled his eyes and quickly walked away.

“I’ve never thought of getting our own house.” you said thoughtfully, turning to Hyungwon.

“Neither have I. Maybe it’s something we should look into?” he suggested.

“Yeah, maybe. We’ll see,” you shrugged, “I’ll see you in a little bit. I’m going down to the basement.”

“Don’t stress yourself over it, Love.” Hyungwon warned, leaning down to give you a quick peck on the lips.

“I won’t.” you promised, smiling up at him then turning to bound down the stairs.

He didn’t believe your words, and honestly you couldn’t blame him. You were already stressing out.

When you were still in college, you were researching the psychology behind soulmates, and you have never heard of gaining a second soulmate. Sure replacements existed, but it never came close to being the actual thing and establishing a bond of sorts. It only happened when someone didn’t want to be with their soulmate or didn’t realize they had met them. Soulmates could totally miss each other if they didn’t want to be together. That’s what happened with you and Hyungwon for a short while. It was there, but it wasn’t until it was blatantly staring you in the face.

You settled into the chair in front of the various monitors and began typing away. You weren’t entirely sure what you were looking for. Perhaps it was a news article about what a miracle it was your parents found each other. Maybe it was just confirmation that being able to have another soulmate was possible. Whatever it was you were looking for, you couldn’t find it.

You were about ready to pull your hair out from frustration when Hyungwon came down bringing food and water for you. He put the plate down on the desk in front of you, opening the bottle of water and placing it in your hands. He laid his hands on your shoulders, gently rubbing them. He knew exactly what you needed in this moment. Somehow, he also knew exactly what you were craving.

“I told you not to stress about it.” He chastised.

“Hyungwon,” you took a swig of water, “I can’t find anything. Nothing. There is legitimately nothing on the internet about this being possible.”

“Does that mean you’re not going to ask your dad about it?” he questioned, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“No. I still need to do that. I’m just not sure how to go about it.” you sighed.

“Well, for starters, make it seem like you want to be on good terms with your dad, like you need him in your life.” Hyungwon suggested.

“How should I do that? Make him think our bond is broken?” you replied sarcastically.

“That’s not a bad way to go about it. Show up on your parents doorsteps in tears, and they’ll take you in wholeheartedly.” he said thoughtfully.

“You really expect me to go and say I don’t love you anymore?” you asked incredulously.

“It’ll make your dad trust you.” he argued.

“I suppose...what am I supposed to do though? If I say that our bond broke, I’ll probably have to stay with them for awhile, and you know my dad will definitely have Daniel over multiple times, assuming he’s not staying in the house.” you pointed out.

“That’s true…” he frowned.

“How long do you think I’ll have to stay?” you asked cautiously.

“It’s hard to say. I’d like to say you’d only have to spend a single night there, but it depends on what happens. If anything bad happens, and you can’t get yourself out of there, I will come get you.” he watched as you grabbed the sandwich off the plate and took a bite of it.

“I know you will.” you said with a mouthful of sandwich.

He chuckled, shaking his head at you, “When do you think you’ll enact this plan?”

“Tonight maybe? I think it’ll be more dramatic if I show up late at night.” you answered.

“Tonight?” his eyes widened.

“Better to get it done and over with than to dread it.”

“But that means I won’t get to cuddle and kiss you goodnight…” he pouted.

“You can do all that before I leave.” you patted his hand on your shoulder.

“What are you gonna use to cry about anyway?”

“The fact that I’m gonna have to leave you for an unknown amount of time is enough to make me cry.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it? It’ll be more than stressful.”

“Yeah. Because even though I have to leave you, I’m not actually leaving you. I’ll have you right here.” you put your hand over your heart.

“You are absolutely right my Darling.” he grinned.

“I don’t think I’ll pack a bag. It should be abrupt. Like I ran away and hopped into a taxi kind of abrupt.”

“You’re really going all out on this aren’t you?”

“Well, the more dramatic and believable, the sooner I can get away.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Come on, let’s go prepare for this.”

You stood and grabbed his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together as you pulled him up the two flights of stairs to your room. There was a lot you needed to say and do before you left for this mission. You and Hyungwon needed some time together, and after that you needed to spend time with the boys.

Now that you were sitting outside your old house, you were starting to regret this whole plan of yours. Hyungwon sat in the driver’s seat, clutching your hand in his as you prepared yourselves. It wasn’t hard to bring the tears to the forefront. What was hard was not leaning towards Hyungwon for comfort. It was equally hard for him to not reach over and comfort.

“Okay,” you cried, “I’m ready.”

Hyungwon squeezed your hand before reluctantly letting go.

You looked towards him and tried to offer a smile, “I love you.” you opened the car door and got out, running away before you could hear his reply. However, that didn’t stop you from being able to hear him whisper the three sacred words to you in your head.

You stood on the doorstep of your parents’ house, taking a moment to yourself before you started pounding on the door. You cried out to your parents, half of you hoping they don’t answer, the other half hoping they did.

“What in heavens-” your mom paused as she opened the door, staring at you in disbelief, “Y/n! Oh my sweet child! What’s wrong?” she gathered you in her arms.

“What’s all this noise?” your dad questioned, coming into view, “Y/n? Why are you crying?”

You cried on your mom’s shoulder for a good two minutes before you answered their never ending questions.

“H-H-H-One!” you sobbed, “He- he ch-cheat-cheated o-on me! Th-the b-b-ond br-broke!”

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

Maple April

 Warnings: Unbeta’d, unedted, unediteed, unedtd, oonedted, Your life is awesome as long as you’re happy with it, okay? Okay, Ily <333

Pairing: Jensen x Reader Word Count: 1.8k A/N: Requested by anon! Hope you like it, hon :D I enjoyed writing this a lot, okay? I don’t even know. I’d love your honest opinion on it, hope you can excuse some rushed mistakes and all (point them out if you find them, would ya?) and I genuinely hope you enjoy!

This sucked.

Honestly, you were blatantly lying to yourself while coming here. Deep down you knew it was going to suck, you knew you’d regret coming, you knew you’d end up wanting to get shitfaced more than you’d want to stay sober, yet you still came. You still pressed “Going” instead of “Interested” in the stupid Facebook page your old classmates had created and you still put an effort into your outfit, thinking that maybe, just maybe, time would make them grow out of their trashy attitude.

Surprise, surprise. That wasn’t the case.

The millisecond your foot passed the doorframe, you regretted your life choices.

“Oh my gosh, April is here!”

“It’s Y/n, Shannon” You smiled awkwardly at the leggy blonde that somehow had grown even hotter than her senior-year self. The world was unfair, you’d decided. Her C cup boobs almost burst through the seams of her shirt, waist tinier than a stick and ass bigger than the damn seat. Lord knows how many drinks she had been offered in the past ten years.

“No it’s not!” Shannon scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. “Guys! April is here!”She called again, seeing as no one responded the first time. Sigh.

She pulled you forcefully by the elbow, causing you to stumble a little but everyone seemed to be confused for a second as to who you are. That was until a guy -was it Jack or Jason? - yelled “OH! Maple April!”

“That never even made sense, Justin” Said Clairie, the only normal and actually friendly girl your old class had to offer. She had grown a little taller, a black pixie cut with blue tuffs adorning her head instead of her waist-long raven hair.

“Holy shit, Clairie, you look great!” She gave you a hug, still shorter than you, and nodded her thanks.

“You do too, Y/n” At her appearance you felt a little more optimistic about this night but it was all shattered when she declared she had to run because, wait for it, her younger kid, as in she has multiple,  was messing with the babysitter and his brother.

Clairie. Kids. Wow.

Try telling her past self she’d end up married with kids. The Clairie you knew would punch you in the face.

You thought of your own love life and quickly pushed the thought away, realizing it was almost non-existent.

“So, Maple April,” for fuck’s sake, Justin “what have you accomplished in the past ten years?” Somewhere between yelling and gaining the attention of many bystanders that had only come to enjoy a drink in peace, they had thrust a glass of Johnnie on the rocks in your hands and started asking questions. Many had boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés or husbands and wives. Others had kids or a successful career, others had published novels or traveled, or all at the same time, and here you were.

“Well… I opened this small little coffee shop in my neighborhood. It’s going pretty well; I bake my own pies and all. It’s great, I love working there.” You grinned. You had wanted to open a cozy, tumblr-like coffee shop since you were a teenager and you were so proud of yourself that you had done it finally, and your facial expression showed as much.

“What, that’s it?” Justin asked with a raised eyebrow. “That’s all you’ve done in ten years? Open a coffee shop?” And then he started laughing. The rest of the group followed along, some doubled over, others looking at their significant others in that ‘pff- she-can’t-be-serious-can-she’ face.

“No husband? A boyfriend, even?” another girl, Margaret, asked in disbelief.

“Well-“

“Hey, sweetheart.” An unfamiliar arm wrapped around your waist and the smell of musk, clean clothes and rain clouded your senses. “I’m so sorry but I couldn’t find a spot to park, the parking lot outside was filled to the brim. I hope I’m not too late.” Your eyes dragged up the muscular, plaid-clad chest, meeting two brilliant green irises.

You did not know this man but, dear lord, he was gorgeous.

It was about time someone asked what the hell is this oddly familiar looking stranger doing right now?

His eyes were almost pleading but something told you he wasn’t pleading for forgiveness, like he was pretending to. He was mentally pleading for you to play along.

A whirlwind of emotions ran through your mind in less than a second when you confusedly concluded, ‘Hey, why the hell not?”

“Uh-I, uhm, su-sure, it’s- it’s fine” You cleared your throat “You’re not?” You furrowed your eyebrows for a second, hearing your statement come out as a question, and gave him a tight-lipped smile, the brightest blush in existence covering your cheeks.

“So? Won’t you introduce me?” He asked, laughing lightly and nudged you subtly. His shoulders slackened a little, seeing you play along.

“Uh r-right.” You turned to your old class, meeting seventeen, absolutely flabbergasted, faces. “Guys, this is my b-boyfriend? Uh-“

“Jensen” He nodded and smiled brightly at everyone. Shannon’s jaw was almost agape.

“Mapl-“She cleared her throat “April, you didn’t tell us you had a boyfriend!” She gushed. “And a famous actor, none the less!”

“But I did tell you my name is Y/n, not April” You muttered, partly for the sake of sarcasm and partly to inform the man beside you that your name was not April. Jensen’s eyes glinted at your comment in amusement. He tightened his hold on your waist lightly.

Wait, wait, wait, hang on. A famous actor?

You peeked at Jensen curiously, trying to remember if you’d seen him before.

Your eyes traced his face, beginning from his fluffy hair that was trimmed at the sides, to his crinkled forehead, perfectly constructed eyebrows –where they plucked? They had to be, no one has such perfect eyebrows naturally-,  ridiculously colored, forest green eyes that reflected the bar’s lights beautifully, a nose that was almost as straight as a ruler but also the tiniest bit crooked, indicating he had had his fair share of fist-fights in his life, plump lips that looked really kissable and to his jawline, one that was so sharp it could cut a damn steak, you were sure of it. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and like a flash, your mind cooperated and sudden realization dawned on you.

Holy fucking shit.

Jensen Friggin’ Ackles, celebrity, declared hottest man of the damn year from a famous magazine, has his arm around you and is pretending to be your boyfriend.

Uhm, wHAT?!

“Hey” Jensen waved at everyone. Shannon moved quickly towards him, laying a hand on his arm and blinking repeatedly. Justin leaned and whispered something in one of his old friend’s ears, eyes still trained to the man who, for some reason, decided to play pretend in your favor and somewhat rescue you from this situation.

You were confused, to say the least.

“So, Jense, you-“

“Only Y/n gets to call me that”

“Who’s Y/n?” Shannon knitted her eyebrows.

“Uh, my girlfriend?”

“No, no, her name is April” Justin insisted.

Jensen huffed “I think I would know my girlfriend’s name, man” Justin quirked an eyebrow. Jensen looked at me expectantly.

“But… Maple April? Where did that come from?”

“You’ve been calling my girl by the wrong name for the last fourteen years?!” Silence.

Your ‘boyfriend’ looked legit pissed. Well, he was a great actor and all but his eyes glinted with fury, arm protectively tightening around you and the vein on his neck popped up. You could see a fight erupting in a matter of seconds, which both confused you because you don’t know this person that has their arm around you, and warmed your heart a little because even if he was a stranger he cared for you in a way no acquaintance or friend ever has.

You worked on instinct, placing your hand on his chest with gentle pressure and feeling tiny bolts of electricity run up your arm at the touch. Jensen’s eyes turned to your petite frame and saw your pleading expression to please don’t start this, it’s not worth it, and something inside him cracked.

He too was dumbfounded by what great big bags of dicks you had involved yourself with. They had known her supposedly through the entirety of high school and yet they didn’t even know her frigging name! If that wasn’t all kinds of wrong he didn’t know what was. A voice in him told him it was weird to react with such intensity, he didn’t know you, he just saw you suffering from afar and decided to step in. He decided to ignore that voice. He kissed your forehead and muttered “Come on, baby, let’s go,” his arm moving from your waist to your shoulder, pulling you outside.

Only when the chilly air slapped you in the face did you realize what just happened. He dropped his arm from your shoulder and shoved his hands in his pockets.

October had just rolled and both of you regretted not having worn at least a jacket of sorts. You shuffled closer to him, discovering that his arm and torso produced warmth that both of you could use at the moment. You stopped walking next to a random car, looking at the stars. You watched your breath become a small cloud in the air and breathed out a little harder to see it form, letting yourself feel the goosebumps that appeared up your arms and legs. The silence let your mind register what the hell had just happened in such a short amount of time.

“Thank you” You decided to speak up, eventually. “I don’t know why you decided to do it, or why you even bothered, but thank you nonetheless.” Jensen smiled gently.

���It was nothing, really” He looked down at you skeptically before pulling his fist from his jean pocket and motioning towards you. “May I? You look… kinda cold” You quickly slid under his wing.

“Hmph, don’t blame this on me, Mister, you are as cold as I am” Jensen smiled and nodded, licking his lips.

“So, coffee shop, huh?” He asked, genuinely interested. He had heard that?

“Yeah, coffee shop.” You bit your lip, battling with yourself for a second. “Would you like to see it?”

“You flirting with me, Maple April?” Jensen teased you, a cocky smirk forming on his face.

“Last time I checked you are the one having your arm around me” You bit back, chuckling.

“Fair enough.” He stated.

“So? What will it be?” Oh God you’d be pretty fucking embarrassed if he said no right now.

“I’d love to”. Both of your smiles were stretched from ear to ear and a small feeling of accomplishment swelled up your chest. You led him to your car and to your beloved coffee shop, ending up having one of the best nights of your life.

@deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester

@deanssweetheart23

@easelweasel

@nostalgic-uncertainty

@twentyoneredsocks

@dancerwithapen

@mogaruke

@superseejay721517

@blackcherrywhiskey

@super-nerd-atural

@andi-winchester

[cheugcheng]

Caught In A Crossfire // SVT’s Mingyu Mafia!au ✨

Word Count: 1,385. Genre: Alternate Universe, Mystery, Romance. Member: Mingyu. Warnings: Blood, graphic language, slight smut.

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Chapter 1.

Getting wasted in a back alley club on a Friday night was not how you had imagined you’d be spending your three year anniversary at all. You had planned it all so nicely – hot, home cooked dinner, scented candles lit all over your apartment, rose petals scattered over the bed in your dimly lit bedroom and a new white lingerie set waiting impatiently in the bathroom to be worn – but all of it went to waste because your boyfriend never showed up.

You’d always had doubts that he was having an affair throughout your lengthy relationship and you had snooped through his phone, laptop and bags multiple times and found no evidence to support the little spark of doubt that had grown inside you. The fact that you could find nothing to pin on him and him constantly trying to prove his love to you made you feel immensely guilty for even questioning him in the first place and so you had become groomed to him. Your body and mind was no longer yours anymore – it all belonged to him. You bent to his every will, you changed things about yourself to please him, you had even gone as far as growing out your hair to your waist and dying it a light pink because he preferred it when you looked ‘feminine’. He was toxic and your relationship had become poisoned and sick because you didn’t want him to leave you.

Blinded by love, you had managed to lose everything and still not care about the damage you were inflicting onto yourself so driving for two hours to get to his house because he wasn’t answering your calls at 8pm at night when you were both supposed to be enjoying your anniversary together and instead, finding him undressed and fast asleep in the arms of another woman only served to reinforce the doubt that had left him and had begun forming inside yourself for the longest time.

Now, sitting at the bar in a secluded nightclub somewhere far away from your home, didn’t frighten you as much as the thought of going back to a lonely life and waking up every morning without the person that had been in your life for the past three years. On the counter before you stood so many empty shot glasses that you had lost count but you signaled the bartender to bring you another anyway. Vodka was never really your style but at this point there was nothing you wouldn’t do to get rid of the dry taste in your mouth and the sickness you felt deep inside you whenever the image of their naked bodies flashed through your mind.

Maybe that’s why you found yourself interested in the man that occupied the seat to your left shortly after you downed the most recent shot. A pang of guilt jolted through your body after staring at the man but he was tall, maybe a little more than 6ft, and he was well built – as hazy as your eyesight was becoming, that much you could tell and you just couldn’t help it. A black suit complimented his wide shoulders and his hair, faded black at the bottom and wavy and grey on top was swept lazily to the side yet it somehow looked as though he had just stepped out of a magazine. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw him glance over at you then at the empty bottles and glasses in front of you. Normally you would feel embarrassed of drinking so heavily but you were too far gone at that point to care. Your boyfriend had blatantly cheated on you so technically the relationship was now over and flirting with the stranger next to you would do nothing but help you to be distracted for a little while.

“I’ll have another one please.” You waved to the bartender. He grinned at you before pouring the shot and sliding it down the counter to you.

“I’ll have one as well.” The stranger spoke in a deep, raspy voice. It sounded like he had just gotten up from sleep. The bartender slid another shot glass towards your stranger.

Raising the glass to your lips, you tossed the bitter vodka to the back of your throat and swallowed, relishing the burn it left behind. A stray drop found its way out the corner of your lips and ran down your chin before dripping onto your chest. It wasn’t noticeable at all in the darkness of the club yet you could feel the eyes of the man next to you follow it on its course to your chest and you weren’t sure if it was your own blood heating up or the intensity of his stare but your skin burned where the vodka touched.

Whether it was caused by the alcohol in your system or the pain in your chest, adrenaline pumped inside you and you were suddenly confident enough to meet the eyes of the stranger. He was still looking at you when you turned to face him but he didn’t seem fazed to have been caught staring. In fact his eyes dared to dip further to the v neckline of your tight black dress before coming back up to meet yours with a suggestive glint. His lips quirked up into a semi smirk that revealed his strikingly white and sharp canines before he took his shot and then he spoke.

“Do you need something?”

His question took you off guard because you were expecting him to say something either perverted or flirty but nonetheless you fired back anyway.

“You were the one staring at me so I should be the one asking you that. Don’t you think?”

He chuckled lightly and nodded. “Yes, I was staring at you. But can you blame me? You do look extremely gorgeous in that dress.”

Before you could respond he motioned to the bartender to bring over two more shots. He slid one over to you and you had another intense round of staring before swallowing.

“I do look good in this dress, don’t I?” A coy smile played on your lips as you traced your forefinger around the rim of the glass still in your hand.

“You do. But do you know what would look even better?” He paused momentarily almost as if gauging your reaction before leaning close to your ear to whisper. “You, without the dress.”

Before he pulled away, he dragged his nose along the line from your ear to your shoulder and placed a light, feathery kiss on your skin. You shuddered involuntarily and you could feel your blood heating up again. Leaning back in his seat, he smirked.

“Also I think you misunderstood me when I asked if you needed anything.”

“How so?”

“Because I already know what you need but I’m not sure if you do. So I’m going to ask you again – do you need anything?”

If you didn’t understand then, you definitely understood now. It was way too suggestive to miss. A large part of you wanted to say no, to call a taxi, go home and cry in the shower before falling asleep in your bed, alone because three years was not something you could just throw away and forget, especially since your love was genuine. But another smaller part of you kept nagging at the back of your head – you don’t deserve to be treated this way Shay.

It was right. You didn’t deserve to be treated this way after all you put into making your relationship work in a happy and loving environment. You didn’t deserve to be sitting in a bar right now wondering what you did that drove him away. You didn’t deserve to have developed so many insecurities by staying in a toxic relationship.

You deserved to be happy. You deserved to be worshipped for all that you did. You deserved to be loved and fucked like you meant something to someone and although you weren’t getting love from this stranger, you were sure as hell going to be fucked by him.

“Yes, I do need something.”

“Excellent.” His already darkened eyes seemed to get even darker as he stood from his stool and held a hand out to you which you took. “Follow me then.”

***

 I’ve written a bunch of fanfictions before (for things outside of kpop) but kpop is the only thing that makes me excited to write again (it’s been years) and so I couldn’t keep this one just sitting on my laptop ! Hope you enjoyed it and please feel free to leave feedback. x

[megashadowdragon]

I completely agree  I have seen korrasami shippers claim that they couldnt be more blatant about korrasami because nick was airing in places with laws against it but here is the thing there wasnt much to the korrasami ship ( they only became friends in b3 in my eyes and they didnt get any episodes to themselves and their bond (unlike with the makorra ship like the revelation ) they didnt have to give korrasami blatantly romantic moments they could have just given them moments  that showed they were close and asami participated in korras  development and moments 

I mean mako went with korra to confront zaheer not asami and mako gave her what she needed and let her go confront zaheer alone

mako got the speech  about what korra meant to him as a person while asami tried to comfort korra going of course we need you youre the avatar ( implying its just her status as the avatar thats important while tenzin succeded in helping her by bringing up korra the person ( and a problem  korra had was that she put herself as the avatar over korra  the person )

when jinora in the finale said they couldnt find korra the camera focused on makos face 

there was nothing in b3 that pointed to anything more then friendship

we could have gotten a scenes or eps with korra and asami bonding    ( that werent blatantly/inherently romantic to at least go under the censors in the other countries so that it would look like by the end of b4 they had a close bond   )

.. The idea that the homophobic Nick censors were the reason why Korrasami had no buildup is a lie pushed by Korrasami shippers and Bryke stans. What really happened is, Bryke didn’t ask the Nick execs if they could make Korrasami endgame until the finale was underway. Bryan said so himself in his ‘Korrasami is Canon’ post. And the Nick execs were supportive of it. They only said that there were limits on how much they could show at the time. THAT’S why Korrasami felt so out-of-nowhere, it was NOT because of homophobes at Nick holding Bryke back.  fantastic-nonsense .  tumblr . com/post/106208675325/littlekorrasamithings-everyone-saying-korrasami

fantastic-nonsense said it best in this post“Censorship explains why we couldn’t get a kiss and an “I love you” in the finale or blatant romantic scenes, not the utter lack of Korra-Asami interaction as a whole. They had six (to six and a half) minutes of interaction in the last season, spread out over six interactions/conversations. They’ve had nearly no on-screen interaction since “Long Live the Queen,” actually. They had the 5 second “I can come to the South Pole” convo in “Korra Alone” (which Korra refused), the single letter, their interactions in “Reunions,” and then the tea scene in “Remembrances.” After that, they don’t speak again until the last two minutes of the finale. The episode after “Remembrances” is the Korra-Mako field trip to the Spirit Wilds and Zaheer’s prison and the culmination of Korra’s recovery arc. Where was Asami? She had two lines in the whole episode, and they were both to Varrick.”

Korrasami felt underdeveloped because Bryke did not build up their relationship properly and just threw it in at the last second, probably as a publicity stunt. Bryke is to blame, not the Nick censors and certainly not because of our 'hetero lens.’

( to be frank the so called evidence for korrasami was nonexistent people just found evidence where there was none 

in my eyes korra and asamis relationship was the weakest of korras relationships in the krew

( also I have seen people try to pull the makorra had 12 eps korrasami had 2 seasons bs to be frank

ignoring that makorra had multiple episodes to build up their relationship/focus

while korrasami had 1 ep that you could say hinted at it (  and it was the last two minutes of the series finale which feels ooc of korra

( to be honest I remember bryke admitting they only asked if they could do it at the last minute and that their thought process was about not including lgbt rep , which causes me to feel that they are lying about planning korrasami.

That the truth is  they only thought about it at the last minute and threw it in for the sake of a publicity stunt and for the sake of saying they included lgbt rep at the cost of breaking the narrative

to 

You mentioned that you played FF13. What do you think of Fang and Vanille's relationship? Do you think it was executed better than Korra/sami?

Oh, absolutely.

The thing with Fang and Vanille is that there was absolutely no question throughout the game that they were the each most important person (by far!) in each others’ lives.  Fang’s driving motivation was always saving Vanille, even if it meant the end of the world; Vanille lied throughout the entire game to save Fang from the guilt of what she’d done.

And, at the end of the game, their relationship was the key to everything.  The scenes after the final battle were all about them and the way they felt for each other and what that meant for the world.  Their romantic hand-holding was part of their mutual sacrifice to save everyone, and it meant a lot even for the people who weren’t a fan of them as a romantic relationship because of the sum total of all of that context.

[the-and-peggy]

A Moment in Time (Lin x reader)

Words: 1,216

Author’s Note: So this is the first in my new drabble series based on a prompt list! Each part will be based on a set of randomly chosen prompts and will feature a specific moment in their lives. Everyone blame @chuckisgod for the idea and inspiration and @hamlltvn for the prompt list <3

#360: You had me at ‘free pizza’.

#223: Let me buy you a drink?

Part I: When I Met You

“Oh. Oh god. Please tell me I did not just throw my entire bag of stuff on Lin-Manuel Miranda.”

You were kneeling on the sidewalk, trying to pick up your mess of papers and journals that had been scattered across the ground. You'd had an awful day at work, your hair was a wreck, and you were pretty sure that your makeup had been messed up when you started stress crying in the bathroom a couple hours ago. This was not the way you had ever imagined meeting the man you had looked up to for multiple years.

“I mean, I would love to say that, but I'm not a big fan of lying to beautiful women.”

In the days following, you would come to the conclusion that you had no idea what had possessed you to grin, look up into his eyes, and start speaking again.

“Oh really? Your play says quite the opposite about you, sir.”

At that same moment, you heard the deep cello intro of Say No to This sound from your ear buds where they dangled off your shoulders. With your moment of joking confidence lost, you felt your face start to heat up as you watched one of his eyebrows rise. He had clearly caught the melody that was playing off your phone, now blatantly accompanied by Leslie’s voice. You reached for it in your pocket, scrambling to hit the pause button before his entrance, which you were sure would result in an awkward situation.

“Hamilton fan, huh?” He grinned at you, in a way that made you feel perfectly comfortable around him, even though you were sure you had just embarrassed yourself more than you had before in your entire life. “And to be fair, that's only when I'm playing Hammy, and certainly not indicative whatsoever of my real life habits.”

“Right, of course, that makes perfect sense,” you mumbled, stumbling over every word. “I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just… I don't know, I was only trying to… I'm sorry, I swear I'm usually better at words than this.”

“I see that,” he replied. When you looked up at him, you noticed he was reading through one of the pages he had picked up. You immediately reached over, trying to snatch it back. He pulled it away, just out of your reach, and you had to steady yourself on the sidewalk as you tipped forward.

“Please don't read that, it's only a first draft, and I don't even know what I'm doing with it yet.”

“What genre is it?”

You stopped babbling all the reasons he shouldn't be looking at it, your eyes widening in surprise at his question.

“Fantasy,” you admitted. “But that's only in the flashbacks. Well, not really flashbacks, they're actually parallel to the main story, which happens in modern times, which is basically a murder-mystery type thing, I don't have the exact word for what you would call them. It's very Lord of the Rings -esque, if that makes sense, but really it's just…”

Your voice trailed off when you noticed what you were doing. Out of sheer instinct, your hand flew up to your mouth to cover it as you gulped down a large breath of air. When you built up the courage to look over at him again, his head was tilted to one side, and he was watching you with utter fascination.

“I'm sorry, I just-”

“Don't be,” he declared, cutting off your apology mid sentence. “You're really passionate about it, and that's awesome. From what I just read, it seems really cool. You'll have to give me a copy when you publish it. So you're a writer?”

“On the side.”

Lin nodded and collected the rest of your papers before handing them to you in a neat stack. You were too flustered to be annoyed that you would have to reorder them all later. Taking his stack and combining it with yours, you tucked them into the front of one of your journals and set it all back in your bag. After cleaning up the mess you had made by tripping, you both stood up. It was your turn to raise an eyebrow as he held a hand out to you.

“Why are you looking at me like that,” he questioned playfully, gesturing with his hand.

“You want me to hold it? You must get attached pretty quickly.”

He laughed, and a warm rush of pride swelled at the thought of being the cause of it.

“I was going to say we should introduce ourselves. And yes, I do get attached quickly, don't judge!”

“What's the point of that? I already know who you are.”

“Humor me,” he pleaded, and batted his eyelashes at you. You started to laugh at how silly he looked. “Hi, I'm Lin-Manuel Miranda and I'm very sorry for bumping into you after you tripped.”

“Hi, Lin. I'm (Y/F/N), and I'm oh so sorry for tripping and ruining your day.”

“You actually could make it better, by doing one single thing for me?”

“And what would that be?”

“Let me buy you a drink?”

“That would be nice.”

His immediate grin made your heart soar. You were hoping your cheesy use of one of his own lines would give you that kind of a reaction. A gentle blush rose to your cheeks as he reached for your hand, slyly pulling it into his own as you walked.

“I hope you’re not expecting any free advice though,” he lamented teasingly. “Once you get a couple drinks in me, the only advice you’re getting is where the nearest pizza place is.”

“So, I guess you’re the hungry sort of drunk?”

“Hell yes,” he replied. You couldn’t help but find yourself watching the way he threw his head back as the laughter bubbled up out of his throat. Couldn’t stop yourself from noticing how wide and contagious his smile seemed. You certainly didn’t see the way his eyes twinkled when he looked at you afterwards, or the smirk that his lips twisted into when he realized you had been staring. Your blush deepened and you finally pulled your eyes away from him, you head turning to observe the cars as the rushed by on the street.

“I might even offer to buy you some pizza,” you said after a few seconds of quiet. “Provided you can get me there.”

“But if you buy it, you’re going to expect me to share it with you,” he whined, his nose wrinkling in his mock disgust.

“Well, hey, if you don’t want to be nice…”

“Okay, okay! I give in! I’ll share!” His carefree grin was back in full force as he looked down at you, his eyes rolling. “Calm down, you had me at ‘free pizza’.”

“Calm? I'm always calm!”

“Says the girl who was babbling to me about how sorry she was for dropping her stuff on me. Which didn't even hit me, by the way, but the ground!”

“Oh, shut up,” you giggled, playfully shoving at him with your shoulder.

“Gladly.”

You weren't expecting your day to go like this, but you were certainly glad that it did. Lin leaned over, a huge smile on his face, and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

[bookishbloggerreviews]

Gilded -- An Honest Review

[Warning: I give an honest review that focuses not only on plot but on writing and character as well. As this is an opinion, you can take it as seriously as you want, but understand that my goal is to review, not shame or praise the author.]

So I’ve been getting through my old TBR list that I’ve had forever and this was my TBR read of the month and I thought, “Ooo! Yes! I’ve been dying to read this book!” The cover was beautiful, the story seemed interesting, the setting was intriguing and I was head over heels ready to dive into this book. But I was bamboozled. Seriously. 

The story is about a young girl named Jae, or Jay, (I listened to the audio book so I wouldn’t know) and her father as they move back to South Korea following the death of Jae’s mother. Jae is skilled in Taekwondo and archery, both of which she and her father take a lot of pride in, and the story actually starts with her using her archery for a public event. During this public event Jae meets a man named Haemosu who turns out to be an immortal demigod who is trying to marry her and take her back to the spirit world where he lives. And as the story unfolds it turns out Jae and her grandfather are actually tied closer than they believe and blah blah blah. Point is: This sounds like a decent story line right? 

What made it even more appealing was the fact that the book took place in South Korea using Korean mythology, something which is so unique to the YA genre as mythology-based fantasy is usually dominated by Greek mythology. So when I saw this I just HAD to read this but honestly.... after reading it the only thing I can say that was worth my money was the cover. 

So as I already stated, I listened to the book on Audio book and because of that I’m going to give two scores. One for the actual story and the other for the Audio book quality. 

For those of you who know my blog and my reviews, I typically jump into a book expecting a 5/10 read and if the book goes above or below my expectations, then the score adjusts. So it should make quite the impression when I give the book a 3/10, and the audio book a 2/10. 

Personally, I would have given the book a 1/10 because it grated on my nerves like fine cheese, but I need to be reasonable with my scores so that’s where I’m placing it. 

Now you might ask, why is a book that you were so thrilled to read ranked so low? And in short, these are the reasons: The main character is so dumb I can’t believe that she actually accomplished the things she accomplished, it white-washed the cast, poor detailing of Korean Mythology, (and for the audio book) poorly portrayed emotions. 

I get more in depth about these problems but from this part out, it’s all going to be spoilers. So if you REALLY want to read this book, which I probably suggest you don’t as you’d waste a lot of your time hate-reading, don’t bother reading any further. But if you want to know how finely them cheeses were grated, keep on. 

[SPOILERS]

I want to start with the positives because if I don’t the majority of this review will just be me seething in annoyance for this book and I don’t want to do that. So what did the book do well?

The descriptions. 

And that’s about it.

Because of the book’s clear, simple imagery, I was able to picture the book in my head fairly easily and I really enjoyed how I thought it looked. But because of this, it brought the over all scores up a point so, that should say something. 

Now onto the cons: 

Let’s talk about Marc and the rest of the cast. 

So Jae goes to an international school and is studying Korean and there we meet a cast who are pretty much, all white. Even the main love interest (Marc) is stereotypically white with the classic “tall, dark and handsome”, thing going. So basically, a story that takes place in South Korea with Jae being the only one resembling Korean. 

Focusing more on Marc, Marc’s role in this book is ridiculous. When they say opposites attract, this book took it literally. Jae has the intelligence and common sense of a ten year old and Marc, on the other hand, has the maturity and wisdom of an almost thirty-year old man. 

If you want to know how stupid Jae is compared to Marc, I made a little list. 

Jae:

-Briefly considers if she can jump six stories safely. 

-Ignores advice that will literally save her life because she wants to go to a ski trip, to a café, on a walk.

-Is told that if she wants to survive she should not tough Haemosu otherwise that starts the “gilding”, or their “engagement” and then immediately touches him when they meet.

-Thinks that robbing a museum is something she can actually accomplish despite deciding to do it two hours before she plans on doing it. 

-Learns that if she involves others it could put their lives in danger but continues to involve others even when she constantly reminds herself of it. 

-Is given a supernatural creature as a bodyguard by an immortal but only calls on it ONCE.

-Is being openly and blatantly manipulated by mythological creatures, has multiple signs that they’re not human, but continues to blindly follow them because she’s tired and hungry. 

-Body shames another girl by calling her “long-legs” for half the book

I’m sure this list could go on for a while but what about Marc? How different is Marc compared to Jae? 

Marc: 

-Can read ancient Chinese

-Is fluent in Korean

-Knows ancient myths and stories better than our main protagonist

-Has the possibility to go to Harvard

-Is so smart that the secret organization is training him to be a member despite still being in high school. 

-Picks up on subtle clues. 

-Saves Jae’s life. Again. And again. And again. And Again.

-Actually comes up with a plan to rob a museum. 

I mean, the majority of Marc’s character is used as a plot device to further Jae’s own story but he’s the only character in this book that could actually accomplish the stuff that the author forces Jae to. But then again, if Marc was the main character of the story, Haemosu would never have even needed to be killed because Marc would have never touched him. 

To say it bluntly: I’ve seen smarter white girls in horror movies. 

As for how Korean mythology was explained, this book gets a D. When it comes to foreign cultures and myths, the creatures, foods and things need to be thoroughly explained so the reader can finish the book being not only entertained but smarter. To have a book that requires the reader already have information on a distant country’s culture, history, and mythology, especially as one as exclusive as Korean, is asking A LOT. 

This could also be said about Jae’s Taekwondo. 

Half the time I was trying to figure out what a “double kick”, or a “half kick”, or a “back kick” would look like. And trust me, there’s a lot of them, so I spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. 

This book expects you to disregard so many of it’s flaws for a big part of it’s story that wasn’t even that entertaining but rather, repetitive and annoying. I mean, not even halfway through the book I gave up on supporting the main character and began to support the villain. And while the villain was so stereotypically “creepy and bad”, I still supported them because at least they were smart enough to avoid putting themselves into unnecessary, extremely-risky situations. 

Now, onto the crown of this... thing: the audio book. 

You know that meme of Kristen Stewart showing how many “moods” she has. Let’s just say I had that meme in the back of my head for 80% of this book. And honestly, I don’t even blame her. I spent the other 20% cringing over the kiss scenes but she had to spend the whole 100% without audibly showing it. 

So would I read this book again? No.

Would I buy this book again? No.

Would I recommend this book? No.

If I could would I go back in time and hand myself a different book to listen to and avoid causing myself so much disappointment? Yes. 

Sorry this review was like 90% negative but if you liked it, please let me know! Follow for better, more positive reviews and leave a comment to tell me if you’ve read this book or if you would even consider reading this book. But other than that, Bookish Blogger out!

[exposingtheinside-blog1]

JASE & CHRISTELLE; are we friends or are we more?

“

Whether you like it or not, Jase & Christelle; we’ll call them Jaselle; were real to an extent. Unlike our Doraya post, we don’t have A LOT of material from their interactions but basically in this post, we’re going to piece together everything you know and give you a popular theory. “Jaselle” WOULD/MIGHT have been an official OTP if producers hadn’t pushed for fakehell/jathena. Everything in this post is info from sources and people working closely with The Inside costars.

For those of you who are super slow or can’t remember the early days of The Inside, “Jaselle” were legit friends with benefits. They rarely done any of that irritating and blatant flirting like you see a lot of these days on the timeline, but they were a thing, in that sense. Bare in mind that even if they were obvious about it, they wouldn’t have been in the wrong because: A) Christelle/Blake and Jase/Athena didn’t have ties B) Christelle’s and Athena’s friendship wasn’t as strong as it is now Here are texts from a source early on in the show, tipping us off on the fact that Jase and Christelle were “ones to watch”: 

If any of you are out there WANTING proof of Jase and Christelle interacting in a way that isn’t necessarily “just friendly”, there’re multiple threads where Jase very clearly expressed interest in Christelle early on. This one counts as one of them:

MISTAKING THINGS ABOUT CHRISTELLE FOR THINGS ABOUT SORAYA

Only recently after Jase publishing his own secret can we say that A LOT of things Jase has posted in the past could point to the fact that he and Christelle had a lot more than your average “friends with bebenfits.” Of course, whenever he does post about past relationships, people assume he’s talking about Soraya because they’re “official exes” if you like & producers obviously focused more on that relationship because Soraya was very involved in Jase’s original secret. HOWEVER, we can CONFIRM that Jase and Soraya were never, ever on “good terms” after their break-up. Yes, they acted civil but keeping in mind everything that happened between them, you can see why they’re not exactly willing to kiss and make up properly. They don’t hate one another, but they both seem to just avoid the topic altogether. It would be very, very out of character for either of them to indirect each other, never mind write a song.  In turn, this only leaves Christelle as someone Jase had a past connection with and was on the show at the same time. So, bare that in mind when you read the stuff that gets published here.

ONE-SIDED?

It could be argued that the attraction that came more from Jase’s side than Christelle. By that we mean; Christelle was more into it staying as a friends with benefits type arrangement while Jase was more interested in her. For instance, as seen above, a lot of the outright flirting came a lot more from his side than it did hers. You could argue the screenshots below are just interactions between good friends, but you’re in strong denial if you say they don’t remind you of interactions that happen between people in the cast who’re a little bit more than that...

(EXAMPLE)

The whole “playing favourites” thing is a weird but common flirting tactic in the Springs apparently. You see it with Emrys and Zelda, Dallas and Gisele/Disney, Theo and Gisele, the list goes on. This is also proof that the two of them DM’ed a lot. The fact that Jase didn’t leave her on read obviously implies their conversations were active and they had a lot to talk about.

SPRINGS FEST

Jaselle’s interactions around Springs fest were probably the most questionable. They spoke a lot about it before the event actually came around, including Jase outright asking Christelle what tent she was going to be in:

The interactions are questionable because (correct us if we’re wrong), we’re pretty sure Athena WAS in the picture at this point, even if it wasn’t official. But, that’s not the worst of it. Remember how at Springs Festival, the cast played dares and somebody took Jase’s clothes? It’s almost 100% certain that said person was Christelle. Again, doesn’t seem like anything to be too suspicious about, but take a look at this:

A lot of fans were sceptical about how “matter of fact” the conversation was, almost as if it were scripted. More so on Christelle’s part. She doesn’t seem shocked at all and some even begun to wonder if Jase and Christelle were TOGETHER when this all went down and the “no clothes” conversation was just to cover their tracks. I’ll leave you smart-asses to work out what they were actually doing if they WERE together. Bare in mind they know each other because they were friends in benefits, it’s not like the two of them haven’t been there before.

PRODUCER INVOLVEMENT 

As far as we know, NOTHING about “Jaselle” was PR, especially when you line up how they got to know each other against how “Jathena” got to know each other. Both Jase and Athena have repeatedly said, they originally started to hang out and get involved with one another because they were trying to get over other people. Once again, most people assumed Jase was talking about Soraya and he never outright denied it, but Soraya and Jase broke up long before The Inside even existed. Chances are, Jase was trying to get over Christelle because during the time they hooked up, Christelle was rekindling with her ex; Malaki. And, remember the cryptic and vague feud that Malaki and Jase had over something?  If not, check these answers on Jase’s ask.fm:

Did Malaki and Jase fall out over Christelle? If you don’t remember, the boys used to tell each other everything, so it’s likely. “Hate what he did but I know why he did it” could be referring to an Insider post that spotted Malaki and Christelle kissing. Nobody knows for sure but this seems the most obvious answer to all of this. 

SO, WHERE DID THE PRODUCERS COME IN? Like we’ve already said, Jaselle’s flirting all seemed to be very one-sided. If Christelle ever did blatantly show interest in Jase (which she obviously did, because they slept together multiple times), it was privately and away from the eyes of viewers. This doesn’t make very interesting television. What DOES make interesting television, however, is a night where Jase went as Lillian’s (remember her?) date to the masquerade ball but ended up leaving with Jathena. There’s ENDLESS receipts showing that Athena responded a lot better to flirting and henceforth, the public picked up on it.  The producers started pushing for Jathena to be mentioned more on The Insider, giving the fans more to talk about and before you know it, it’s Jase and Athena who’re together. That’s not to say “Jathena” is fake or PR- they’re definitely not. But, it’s no secret that the producers back certain stars/couples on their show. Anyone who’s popular and profitable, basically. As of lately, we’ve started to see the same thing with Fakehell. (Coincidence that Blake is a mutual friend of Jase and Christelle?)

THINGS GOT A LITTLE SOUR?

There’s no real telling what caused Jaselle to drift, but there are two obvious answers:  A) The start of Jathena and Christelle’s friendship with Athena  B) Christelle found out what Jase did to Soraya (we’ll get to this when we discuss music) Around the time Jase was hanging out more with Athena, Christelle would weirdly get a lot of asks about who she was seeing, how she was feeling, who she last kissed and how she felt about them etc. For the most part, she remained pretty vague, but there was one answer that caught our attention:

To the question “Best friends” Christelle answers with Jase’s name, so they were obviously still somewhat in each other’s lives. The next question after that, however, asked her to describe her mood and for those of you who don’t know what the video screenshot is, it’s a song by the girl group M.O called “AIN’T GOT TIME.” To give you an idea of the songs vibe, here are some of the lyrics: “I ain’t got time to worry about people, who ain’t worried about me. I ain’t got time to listen to people, who ain’t listening to me. I ain’t got time to care about people, who ain’t caring about me.” “Cause if  I think about you, you must be more than just a friend to me.” [CHECK OUT THE FULL SONG HERE]

Again, this could all be coincidence but things on this show are RARELY left to chance.  There’s also further proof that something did go down between Christelle and Jase on his ask.fm too:

But as always, he’s quick to make it clear he doesn’t regret her. Quite a statement for people who were supposedly “just ex-fwb’s”:

It’s just a shame there’s not a lot more posted publicly on this, because the dots we’ve connected so far all point towards them being a lot more serious than either of them let on.

FINALLY, THE MUSIC

We’ll start with Jase. During charity week, he released a song called “Everything I Didn’t Say”, outright saying that it “got deep.” Once again, basic ass fans just assumed it was about Soraya, but knowing what we know about “Jasraya” now, the lyrics definitely don’t add up.  “I wish that I could rewind all the times that I didn’t show you what you’re really worth” A pretty big nod to the typical FWB arrangement, no? Implying Christelle deserved better... “I was wrong, I admit, numb from your kiss while you were slipping through my fingertips” “Someday I’m sure we’ll pass each other by, until that time...” “I wish I could’ve made you stay, and I’m the only one to blame -- This is everything I didn’t say” -- Yeah, you get the idea. It’s unlikely it’s about Soraya and certainly not about Athena, so who does that leave us with? English Love Affair leaked LITERALLY tonight is conveniently about hook-ups and being infatuated with someone too: “Next thing we were back at her place, hide away in Mayfair, all the great and good there. Drinking all the way to third base; princess getting naked, falling on their faces. The storyline was so ridiculous, every single step had me begging for the next...” “When the lights go out, she’s all I ever think about.”

CHRISTELLE’S MUSIC

It’s a lot harder to prove that Christelle’s music IS about Jase, because so many assume that her love songs are aimed towards Malaki and more recently, Blake. But, check out this taken from her ask.fm:

In Christelle’s own words, she and Blake started to “get a little more serious” around DISNEY’S BIRTHDAY (15th Dec - so mid December, almost a month ago now). If you compare that to some of the songs Christelle has released about love, it seems hardly plausible to assume they’ve been written about somebody she’s only been serious with for a month.

CALL ME - self-explanatory. very sex orientated lol; “I can be your fantasy, all desires granted by me

THIS LOVE - “I’ll never love nobody like you” *Looks at the recentness of serious!fakehell* *Looks at the lack of talk about Malaki* *Sips tea* 

ALL IN MY HEAD? (awkward times for Hensley if so)

GENTLEMEN - Potentially written through the slightly bitter phase we spoke about earlier? This is what also had people wondering if Christelle found out about what happened between Jase/Soraya and that was the final straw. If he’s inspo behind the song, it’s definitely shade.

THE VERDICT

It’s obvious because of the situation they’re both in, this is all going to be denied, denied, denied. But, as you can clearly see from a lot of the screenshots taken above, it’s hard to find any other explanations for them. Therefore, we’re saying YES, #jaselle, definitely had the potential to be something more, if they’d played their cards right. Until next time...