#can you believe i had to reboot my laptop twice while finishing this?

[aro-attorneys]

please tell us about your feelings for Arystar and Eliade's relationship :3c

@icharchivist oh shit i did not expect anyone to actually ask but yeah i WILL elaborate (and try to be cohesive) and it's gonna be semi-personal and probably long so there's also a Keep Reading bar

I feel like such a weirdo for fixating so hard on a character that barely gets any screen-time anymore, but every time I re-read or get back into DGM he's still THE character I fall back on as like a....strong comfort character :,) I always latch onto the character with the most sense of guilt and/or estrangement from their peers (either current or backstory situation) because I Project A Lot.

Anyway

Krory and Eliade's story is absolutely packed with tropes I adore. Boiled down it's like....Two broken people who find comfort and Love between them. How sad yet romantic is that ;;; Also, the super-specific trope where One Has To Kill The Other is SO good like. I cannot tell you how much I love that. The drama, the guilt that follows, the tragedy.

Krory's youth has led him to believe he is doomed to be alone forever, that it is better to stay in the castle. Actively estranged from his peers as the Town's Token Witch of some sorts. He would take ANY chance to be accepted or even loved. There is even an implication that he wanted to befriend them after he got his innocence.

Then again, it is also implied that Eliade discouraged him from trying any further.

Eliade's motivation is much more nuanced in the entire story. She keeps saying she tried to love Krory. That she wanted to love him. Whether or not she was actually good for him is not clear, but at the end of the day (although that's more anime-only) she DID make him experience unconditional love and intimacy that he would otherwise never have experienced, even if exorcists had found them and she was not in the story. (god can you imagine Allen and Lavi finding him just like That. it would've been less sad but also he would not have ANY experience with love??)

She enabled/encouraged Krory's anxiety and estrangement from other people further so she could have him for herself. Confirming that he is indeed a vampire, that the villagers really hate him. But assuring him that she will always be there regardless. Eliade was manipulating him from the start. Her actions were toxic from the start, but her motivations were so pure that I cannot help but sympathize for her. She was only there for a few chapters but the whole concept of an Akuma defying the Earl's will for the sake of her own desire to be loved and held by someone hits me with so many things that I just...yeah...

I also strongly think that Krory still latching onto his feelings for Eliade (at least up to the point he fights Jasdevi) is Not Healthy At All. This guy was so depraved of human contact and intimacy that Eliade's short and messed up love for him made him feel this strong about her. But I also want him to take his time to process his loss and guilt so he can move on properly. I hope he can love again (or maybe he doesn't, but at least let this man make human contact without feeling estranged).

Also a little side-tangent: I project like mad on Krory. Naturally it's not a 1 on 1 but that's always the thing with fictional characters. Actively estranged by peers, lack of social development and naivety as a result thereof, anxieties about being loved (romantically and platonically), that sort of stuff. I like Miranda a lot too for similar reasons.

Also also, can you BELIEVE he is still so sweet and kind to everyone he meets, especially children. He wants others to feel safe and welcome and if that isn't just the best thing someone can do despite being treated so poorly, man....

And lastly (kind of?): do you know how WELL Hozier songs fit these two. I have liked Hozier for years now. I just LOVE yearning songs. I love the poetry. And Whatever Eliade and Krory had going on was so poetic to me. It was messed up but it was real and raw.

Lines like:

from Angel of Small Death & The Codeine Scene

from To Be Alone

from Jackie and Wilson, and lastly, of course:

from Like Real People Do.

Okay I have to stop here because this feels way too long...again I feel a bit weird for being so into a character that rarely receives any screentime or praise (then again, someone has to do it). I hope Krory gets to develop his own identity some more (on or off-screen) and that he is able to overcome his past :,D

[fourangers]

Some bad porn can turn out to be good (3/3)

Summary: “Why are you watching porn on broad daylight and…is this…is this a blond guy fucking a japanese man?”

Who would have thought that porn watching could have such enlightening results. NaruSasu, blow job, anal sex, mutual pining without angst, Comedy, Romance, AU working in an advertisement agency. Some InoSaku.

AO3 link | ffnet link

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

--.--

Best way to squeeze the life out of a stupid blond mor|

An idiot just shot me down after he kissed me and I goddamn gave him a blow job, what’s the fastest way to kill h|

10 fast steps to understand the mind of a total dumba|

How to get rid of a dead dumbass bod|

Naruto Uzumaki addr|

Sasuke huffed loudly, smashing the backspace button as it erased the sentence in the search bar. He was in a murderous mood but it was rather counteractive doing the deed, no matter how much he’s been longing to reach Naruto’s neck and squeeze it really hard.

After last night, that dumbass didn’t answer his messages, didn’t return his calls. This turn of events didn’t make one lick of sense and worst of all, Naruto didn’t explain whatever the fuck had happened yet. He wrecked his brain trying to understand whatever the fuck was going on, because one moment Naruto was kissing him as if his life depended on it, one second after, he was literally fleeing out of his reach.

That kiss…he could also not get this out of his mind. Its fiery passion overwhelmed him, making him out of breath, engulfing to the deepest depths of his heart. 

It also felt much more personal than simply a heat of the moment. At first Sasuke thought he managed to convince Naruto for a physical tryst, but…the way he devoured his lips, arms held his body as if Naruto didn’t want to let him go, the vulnerable and yet covetous eyes that pierced through him, holding onto hope that maybe…Naruto actually returned his feelings⏤  

Until he was shot down, completely. Dead. Done. Over. Whatever the fuck had happened.

There laid a bizarre paradox that he didn’t make many strides to crack it down. Naruto desired him, somewhat, after all Sasuke made sure he had Naruto’s consent before he gave him that blow job, because God heavens he’d never force himself onto him. And yet, all that was left was this cryptic puzzle in the end.

Jesus Christ, why was anything related to this dumb blond so complicated? Another good reason to wring that stupid neck. Sasuke even arrived late at the ad agency, hoping he’d catch a glimpse of that golden hair but so far he’s the only one in the whole building. Everyone was stuck in the traffic jam since there was a horrible storm, leaving him in his lonesome brooding self.

He heard a ping.

“...hey everyone, sorry I’m late I⏤oh fuck!” Sasuke ran after Naruto the moment he heard his voice, blocking him from reaching back to the elevator with a snarl. “H-hey Sasuke, ‘sup?” Naruto mumbled, while he tried to slide away from his grasp.

“You’re not going anywhere before you explain everything.” Sasuke growled, gritting his teeth.

“Yeah, and I will! But um…” Naruto managed to wring his arm out from Sasuke’s hand and sprinted. “We gotta work first right?”

“No one have arrived here yet, it’s only us two. So talk.”

“Whoa really? I mean, that means someone will arrive soon! Plus we still have other jobs to do, maybe we can talk on lunch time?” Naruto said, placing his umbrella at the entrance to let it dry.

Sasuke scoffed. “So that you’ll find a way to avoid me till there? I’m sure that I deserve an explanation right at this very fucking second.”

“But⏤”

“Because you fucking ghosted me all night you fucking coward!” Sasuke shouted, and this uncharacteristic display of emotion startled Naruto, freezing on the spot. “After everything that happened to us, for how long we know each other, I thought at least you’d give me some satisfaction and give me a clear concise explanation instead of simply running away, you asshole!”

Naruto opened his mouth, before he closed thinning his lips, looking away. Sasuke stared back with building consternation, unable to comprehend why the blond man had such troubled expression. He raised his hand to touch Naruto’s face until⏤ 

All the lights were out.

“What?” Naruto mumbled, glancing at the ceiling. Both men jumped when their smartphones began chiming at the same time, with a barrage of new messages in their company’s group chat. Most of them were confused and shocked that there appeared to have a massive electric blackout, affecting most means of transportation. 

People began discussing whether the blackout would take too long, as it appeared that it affected the entire city. There were some concerned texts about finishing the project, the CEO also began typing worried. He contacted the building’s manager and their response was rather alarming; it might take at least 6 hours to return to normalcy.

Since everyone was stuck on traffic or couldn’t move with the subway not being operational, Naruto and Sasuke were the only ones in the company left. 

Fortunately Temari had the faster insight and was already contacting her client to extend the deadline. They waited with baited breath until she received the positive confirmation that they could give the presentation two days after the original date. The CEO thanked everyone for their attention, everybody was relieved to return to their homes until further notice.

Thus, both men were left watching the storm rumbling from the window, while they sat on their respective desks. Sasuke perused Naruto’s contemplative eyes, closing his laptop loudly to catch his attention as he sat on the table next to the blond man.

“Well. Now that we literally have nothing else to do, are you finally going to explain this to me?”

Wringing his hands together, Naruto stared at the ground pursing his lips, while he crossed his arms waiting. Naruto exhaled very tiredly, Sasuke had some satisfaction that at least this blond dumbass also appeared that he had suffered on his behalf, seeing the bags beneath his eyes.

“Yesterday, I kept thinking…We shouldn’t have done that last night.”

There was a sharp stab in his heart, but Sasuke spurred him on, craving for answers. “Oh? Care to explain why?”

“I did it by impulse…And I’m sorry…I mean, like, after I made you give me a blow job⏤”

“You didn’t make me do anything, dumbass, I was an active participant.” Sasuke growled.

Naruto blushed, scratching his head. “...okay, and then I kissed you and I was really…I feel so bad, I was leading you on but I couldn’t push this forward, you know what I mean?”

Sasuke frowned, but remained silent, waiting for better explanation. 

“And well…it’s just so complicated, 'cuz I know our interests are different. And it's my fault, I shouldn't have jerked off in the first place and attracted your attention when we have different expectations and⏤”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

“And you know, I wish I could keep things simpler but I can’t, because⏤it’s” Naruto opened his mouth, struggling to come up with his explanation. “It’s like…you know, I got too attached and I can’t really settle for something simple⏤”  

It’s the first time Sasuke had listened to such long diatribe and yet he’s still not understanding one single word. 

“So I guess I created a misunderstanding when you thought I’d want something simple and be done with one or two nights or less? And I should have suppress it better but I’m also in the wrong just kissing you and going away.”

He guessed that this blond dumbass will go round and round and never get to the point. 

“I mean, I should have prepared myself to get only one or two nights but it’s difficult for me to settle just for this so I would probably bother you when⏤” 

“Naruto, stop fucking around and just tell me what you really want to say.” Sasuke glared, interrupting.

“I really like you.” Naruto squeaked in a rapid mutter.

Sasuke widened his eyes, heartbeats drumming loudly in his ears, warming his core and leaving him speechless. 

 “Like…really, really, really, like you⏤” Naruto's face were getting redder with each punctuation of the word. “Oh God, I can’t get you out of my head for…I don’t know, since I started working here? I really wanted to date you and go all the way through, I always thought I shouldn’t.” 

His jaw was still slack, completely shocked by this extraordinary outcome. He didn't know if he was going to cry or laugh, kiss or punch this idiot. This entire time, this whole time they could be in a relationship already with plenty of sex, and this dumbass held out to him for this long??

“And I shouldn’t have kissed you like that because well…I know you don’t want the same thing I want with you.”

Sasuke’s brain finally kicked in for a much needed reboot, so he growled, mildly miffed. “Wait, since when you thought I wouldn’t want the same thing you wanted?”

Blue eyes blinked from his interruption, fumbling the edge of his t-shirt. “Um…you just want to keep things casual, right?”

“When and where the hell did I ever say that to you?” He snarled.

“You didn’t but…” Naruto shrugged one shoulder, not meeting his eyes. “I heard⏤”

“You heard.” Sasuke punctuated the last word; whoever that kept spreading those lies will face a slow and torturous death. “And you actually believed in whatever rumor was going around me. Have you ever thought, you dumbass, to ask me about this first?”

“Yeah…I know but well…you didn’t seem to be interested in a steady relationship because there are stories that well…you never bothered to date more than twice I think, you’re always picking guys for some one-night stands so it’s, you know, incompatible with what I want with you.”

Feeling slightly uncomfortable by the accuracy of Naruto’s description, Sasuke pressed on, nevertheless. “And why the hell would you ever believe in those stories?”   

“Sasuke…” Naruto pursed his lips, looking apologetic. “Karin is my cousin.”

This time Sasuke, grimaced, raising his eyes to the ceiling and huffing. Goddammit, Karin that tattletale…next time he’d meet his gang, he’d let Suigetsu pester her to no end. 

“Ok…ok, I guess I can’t really argue with that, considering that your source came from Karin.” Sasuke grunted, then sighed. “But, have you ever thought that…even if I never had a steady relationship before…that I might be looking for one this time?”  

His statement caught Naruto off-guard, glancing for a second before hastily dropping his gaze. He said with a guilty tone. “Well…Karin told a lot of⏤”

“Yes, I can bet that she probably gave you a very detailed description of my past encounters, but it’s like I’ve said; it’s all part of my past.” Sasuke muttered, approaching towards Naruto and inwardly sighing in relief that he didn’t mind the close distance. “You’re…unique to my life, I’d enjoy trying something more with you.” 

Naruto stared back with furrowed eyebrows. “You didn’t seem to be interested in me in that way before you realized that I’m into guys.”

“...” Sasuke felt a migraine coming up on its way. “...Naruto, I’ve been trying to flirt with you since forever and you fucking dumbass never noticed.”

Naruto growled in indignation, before he muttered bewildered. “Really? I couldn’t tell.”

“I could see that. That’s why I figured that the only way you’d finally realize my feelings is through a more direct approach.”

Sasuke could almost see the gears moving in Naruto’s mind as the blond man finally put two to two. “Yeah, sucking my dick definitely sent a direct message, for sure.”

“And I guess that this created this misunderstanding, but on the other hand, if only you weren’t such a dense dumbass, none of this would have happened.” 

Naruto harrumphed, crossing his arms. “Yeah well, what I was supposed to think then? First time when you saw an opportunity you’d suck my dick, it just showed that you were only trying to get into my pants.”

“Every time I flirted with you I was immediately shot down you dumbass, since gods know when. So forgive me when I was a teensy bit excited with the prospect that you might be interested in me.” Sasuke muttered with an equal bite. 

Bracing himself, he expected the blond man to bristle in indignation. However, Naruto squinted his eyes, before broadening a mischievous grin. “So you like me this much huh.”

Sasuke could feel his face heating up, though he still managed to chide with an even tone, chin raised up. “Considering that you took this long to finally understand it, I’m having second thoughts about all this.”

Naruto’s smile didn’t dim one bit. “But you liiiike me~how cute~~~” Sasuke rolled his eyes when the blond man circled around him, interlacing his fingers and placing next to his cheeks with a girlish singsong voice. “Awwwieee~~you have a crush on me? How embarrassing~~”

“Debatable, doubtful and inconclusive since it doesn’t have any substantial proofs.” Sasuke muttered unflappable, hitching a lopsided smirk. “And the prospect of me being infatuated towards you, I assure you, it’s dwindling by the minute.”

This time Naruto didn’t miss his message, approaching wearing his same smirk. “Oh? Then lemme me help you change your mind.” Sasuke’s heart skipped a beat when he felt warm fingers holding his nape, lips were against his.

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief now that finally, finally, they were kissing without any hindrance or misinterpretation burdening them. He reached up and pulled Naruto closer, his mouth parting the full lips, tongue drawing a line on the lower lip before sliding in, swallowing Naruto’s groan. He felt his back digging on the table behind him, as Naruto pressed forward, kissing with eager excitement, with the same intensity he had felt last night. 

Naruto retreated for a second, eyes full of wonder and amazement while he let his fingers brush the pale cheeks. He sought for another deep kiss, lips then gliding to his chin, peppering kisses downwards before he bit hard on the juncture between the neck and his shoulder. Sasuke moaned in response, Naruto licked on the reddened spot on his skin until he returned to taste Sasuke’s mouth. His own arms flung around the tanned neck, enjoying the weight warming his body, getting high with Naruto’s scent. His veins throbbed when a hand intruded inside his shirt, caressing his stomach. 

Sasuke sat on the table, his legs were already enveloping around Naruto’s waist as his body demanded for more, letting this passion run awry and consume them all. He slapped those buttocks, fingers digging on the soft molds, noticeable even beneath the fabric of denim jeans. With a husky growl, Naruto yanked his shirt out, though such action made Sasuke stop his motions for once. 

“Wait. You really want to do it now?” He mumbled, cupping the tanned cheeks with his hands and staring the bewildered azure eyes.

Naruto blinked, before broadening a very playful grin. “I always wanted to try having sex in the office so, if you won’t mind…”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, unbuckling Naruto’s belt while the latter removed his own t-shirt. Naruto sucked his neck again, gazing up with half-lidded eyes.

“So you want to top? Bottom?” Naruto didn’t even let Sasuke open his mouth, planting a cheeky kiss. “Alright, you took too long to answer, so I’m topping.”

He lowered to take out Sasuke’s dark pants, raising an eyebrow when he received no sign of struggle. Sasuke stared back. “Well? I don’t have all day dumbass.”

Naruto wrinkled his nose. His teeth lightly gnawed his lower lip, muttering. “Right, so you have any lube and condoms? Because I definitely didn’t expect getting some booty tonight, I got nothing.”

Sighing, Sasuke kissed him back, gesturing on the general direction of his backpack. Naruto understood at once, grabbing it and offering to him. He picked the items at once, until a hand seized his wrist, lowering him to the desk as a moist tongue explored his torso. He gasped, now sensing the hard surface of Naruto’s barbell contrasting the soft texture of the appendage. 

“Oh, you didn’t even open the cap of the lube.” Naruto noted amusedly. “Someone is really eager over here.”

Blushing, Sasuke glared. “Maybe it’s new because I need to restock them constantly.” He taunted. 

Naruto’s expression closed off in an instant, approaching with a feral expression that thrilled him to his spine. “Who, where and when?” He snarled through gritted teeth. “I swear if I get them, I’ll⏤”

“I was joking you dumbass.” Sasuke scoffed, lightly bumping his hand on the blond’s head. “I haven’t got involved with anyone else for over a year.”

Naruto’s furious growl deflated to an embarrassing one, scratching the back of his head. He gave a light peck on his mouth, holding Sasuke’s nape loosely. 

Sasuke smirked inwardly, knowing that he was going to be playing with fire once he uttered the next set of words. “But I might change my mind if you take too long, idiot.”

In a split second, his belt was unfastened with a loud clattering noise, blunt nails practically ripped his pants down to his ankles, blazing blue eyes stared him down while Naruto worked to take off his shoes. A hot hand was already palming his clothed erection before jerking it free, pumping dry and earning a grunt from Sasuke. Naruto licked his nipple, lightly scraping with his teeth and swirling around until it was hard. He removed the dark navy boxers, coating his finger with lube and nudging in with one smooth move.

Sasuke inhaled sharply, shutting his eyes. When he noticed that Naruto didn’t move one inch, he snorted. “Well? I told you I don’t want to waste any of my time.”

Naruto rolled his eyes, dropping another moist kiss. “Impatient and demanding bastard. What am I gonna do with you.” He complained with a visible grin, one hand stimulating the head of his cock, while another one continued to widen his entrance. He nudged Sasuke’s legs to spread apart, stroking the prostate with tip of his fingers. The charging pleasure began building up with Sasuke’s rapid breaths, expanding and tingling throughout his skin. 

And yet this wasn’t enough to quench his hunger. Glancing down, he saw to his utter bewilderment that Naruto just unzipped his jeans, his erection still confined beneath the boxers with a wet patch on the head. 

Naruto smiled roguishly. “Another kink I have.” He chuckled when Sasuke just shook his head in response, taking out his cock and rolling the condom on it. He poured copious amounts of lube over it, pumping with a low moan. One glance from Sasuke’s darkened eyes was enough to throw one pale leg over his shoulder, thrusting in that tight hole.

Both men groaned from the overwhelming sensation, stopping at once. In one infinite moment, they spent gazing towards each other awestruck. After so many months of longing, at last…Sasuke wholly accepted Naruto’s amorous kiss, welcoming the rush of warm delight encompassed with each pulse of hips.

Those kisses started lethargic, indulging even, sparking with more hot passion as Naruto’s cock impaled in a faster pace. His hands travelled to fondle his ass cheeks, gripping them tightly when he drew out and thrusted, growling loudly. 

“Naruto⏤!” Sasuke screamed, hands trying to hold onto anything with no avail, settling to touch the sturdy pecs. Naruto’s lips brushed on his mouth, breathing rapidly.

Out of nowhere, Sasuke lost the thick girth of the hard cock inside him, groaning in reflex. He was flipped around, hands holding on the edge of the table as the penetration begin anew. This time he could feel the thrusts going deeper, faster and stronger, letting his lust spiral out of control. Naruto kissed and licked his back, holding his hips while his erection continued to drill in mercilessly. 

Leaning his weight to his elbows, Sasuke rested his forehead on it, taking in all this sweet torment. However, Naruto’s fingers threaded through the dark strands, clutching on it and dragging his head backwards till he arched his spine. In one sharp thrust, Sasuke slipped out a loud erotic scream, escalating in volume as it drove faster.

“Is that how you like it?” Naruto licked his earlobe, reverberating a dark whisper. “A little pain?”

Sasuke bit his lower lip, ecstasy drowning out any rationality and making him craving for more. More, drill me, fuck me like that, oh God yes, more, faster, fuck me Naruto; he wanted that thick cock inside him, slamming in him over and over, the volatile flame that ignited his whole soul. 

Nimble fingers encircled around his red erection, pre-cum dripping to the floor. When Naruto pumped his cock, Sasuke went rigid, all the pleasure overflowing till he orgasmed with a hoarse scream. 

Naruto bit his shoulder till it drew blood, few more thrusts as he also reached his climax, burrowed deep in Sasuke’s ass. They took long breaths, milking the after-shocks while Sasuke collapsed on the table below, pale skin red with exhaustion.

Naruto gazed down to Sasuke’s firm buttocks, not resisting the urge to fondle and slapping on it, admiring how it jiggled a bit.

“Hm.” Sasuke grunted in between gasps. “I guess you’re doable.”

Naruto quirked his eyebrow, tilting his head to one side. “Doable.” He repeated.

Sasuke turned around to face him, moving his hand around with an airy voice. “Yes, doable, decent, sufficient, tolerable, moderately satisfactory, whatever word that floats your boat.” He licked his parched lips, smirking. “I might need more rounds to reassess my judgement.”

Naruto grinned, eyes darkening with lust as he kissed him again. “Alright you walking thesaurus, how about we go to my apartment so I can show how ‘doable’ I am?”

⏤.��

Sasuke sighed happily, walking towards to the cafeteria with a slight limp. He had the most wondrous weekend spent with Naruto, having sex non-stop with varied array of positions. Pretty sure they completed everything in kama sutra, from head to toe. Twice. 

Naruto was probably busy doing the last touches of his layouts, so he went ahead first. He heard familiar giggles.

“They are about to kiss, aren’t they? I mean, the sexual tension is off the roof.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought first, but they have been talking for about half an hour. Ino-pig, fast forward it.”

“Aaaaah Sakura, honey, then you’ll ruin the whole suspense.”

“Screw the suspense, I want to see Naruto screwing Sasuke!”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

“Wait wait. You really think Naruto is going to top Sasuke? No way, Sasuke is the aggressive one.”

“You kidding me. Can’t you see it’s his mating ritual for Naruto to hump him? Plus Naruto is the masculine, more physically built one, and Sasuke is the lean one.”

“No, no. They are roughly the same. And Naruto will let Sasuke top him. After all, it fits, that Naruto with all his bright personality, will be the one who will comfort Sasuke, break the emotional shield he kept all the time and open him up.”

“Where in the hell did you think of something ludicrous as that? From a fanfic?”

“Shut up, you’re the one who compared body physique with topping and bottoming! And if you’re really thinking in that vein, Naruto has the boyish, gentle face while Sasuke is the one with sharp features, showing he’s dominant. It’s clear as day!”

“Oh God, you serious? Sasuke is the one who has a pretty face, while Naruto is boyishly handsome!”

“Well, but if you see the shape of Naruto’s eyes⏤” 

Sasuke had enough. He stepped in, clearing his throat in front of a group of shocked women. “What the hell are you all watching?” He grumbled, noticing that everyone encircled around Sakura while she was behind a laptop.

“Oh, nothing Sasuke! We’re just talking about a soap opera we watched yesterday!” Sakura chirped in.

“Don’t give me such a weak excuse Sakura, I heard my and Naruto’s name being mentioned all the time.” 

Sakura deflated her shoulders, not meeting Sasuke’s sharp glare as she said sheepishly. “Well…”

“We’re watching you two doing the nasty from our company’s surveillance tapes.” Ino said nonchalantly.

“What.” Sasuke snarled. “But there was a blackout last week.”

“The cameras have an extra battery, in case there’s any breaking in we’ll be able to record it.” Ino explained, smiling. “I figured since only you and Naruto were in there, you two idiots will finally realize the undying love you have for each other and have hot, hot buttsex. We’re betting who is going to top this round.”

Sasuke glared.

Ino continued her winsome beam unapologetic. “Sasuke, everytime you laid your eyes on him, it always looked like you wanted to jump on him.”

“That doesn’t mean you all are warranted to gossip about our relationship and make money over it⏤” 

“I won!” Sakura shouted, interrupting him. “I won everybody, Naruto is topping. Pay up."

Tenten complained. “What the hell, I’m not seeing any ass fucking Sakura, this doesn’t count.”

“Naruto is fingering Sasuke, Tenten, it definitely counts.”

“And how the hell you know anything about fingering?”

“How the hell wouldn’t I know? How do you think I have sex with my girlfriend?” 

“Okay, gurl, too much information.” She shook her head with a grimace. “Well, we should see this to the end, just to make sure⏤” 

Sasuke shut the laptop. “This is an invasion of privacy and I should sue you for this.”

“What? Everyone signed their contracts that they allow themselves to be recorded but we’d never use the footage for profit or personal gain.” Ino exclaimed.

“Exactly.” Sasuke growled.

“So maybe I should also file a complaint about how you and Naruto are using private grounds for activities unsuited for this company then.”

That made Sasuke stops in his tracks. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, but I would.” Ino laced her hands together and rested her chin on it. “Imagine the entire court seeing the tape as part of evidence. It’d be espetacular. It’s just some pocket money Sasuke, you two entertained we all, for a very long time.” She offered her hand. “I’ll let this slide if you let this slide too. I swear we won’t do this anymore.”

Sasuke glowered, before returning the handshake. “I’m impressed how you knew this would happen.”

Ino’s smile was wide and amused. “Sasuke, you’re not the first and definitely will not be the last engaging secretive trysts in this company. So don’t worry about it.”

Sasuke wrinkled his nose, narrowing his eyes while Sakura collected the money.

“I’ll let bygones be bygones. Also giving you this.” Sasuke caught the pendrive Ino threw towards him. “The only copy of your sex tape with Naruto. Let’s just say this is me, expressing my gratitude for helping my girlfriend winning this bet.”

Sasuke stared the innocuous gadget, closing around it into a tight fist. He was ready to smash into a pulp till Ino reopened the laptop.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t want to sell a copy for me and Sakura to watch? I mean this⏤” Ino pressed play and the screen showed him taking Naruto from behind. Sasuke closed the laptop in one snap, glaring. “⏤Is really hot. I think you’ll make tons of women and gay men happy all across the globe with this sex tape. Think about it.”

“Delete it. Now.” Sasuke demanded so, with a sweet smile, Ino opened her laptop, obeying him with a clean click.

Almost as if the gods were listening above, Naruto appeared, grinning from ear to ear. “Hey Sasuke, sorry I’m late! Oh, hey ladies, you were chatting with him?”

“Yeeeeep.”

“Mmmhm.”

“You can say that.”

“...what?” Naruto questioned when Sasuke grabbed him by his arm, turning around so they could have their lunch in peace, far away from those opportunistic harpies. 

They still had enough time for a quickie.

(and Sasuke did leave a copy of the video in his desktop. For…later inspiration)

--.--

AN: Holy fuck I'm sleepy. I hope you'll enjoy the smut and please leave a review and make this author really happy. ;)

[yahjiji]

Two days ago I bought life insurance.

About 3 years ago, my parents asked me to buy it because I could no longer be on their policy. They set everything up for me and all I had to do was call the lady and confirm everything and set up the recurring payments. I kept saying I would do it but I never had any intention of going through with it, because if I died, who even cares? I’m dead. Throw me in the ground or burn me, whatever. I’m dead anyway, I won’t be aware of how my body eventually got disposed of. 

But last week, we had a seminar about our new life insurance policies. The company I work for offers free life insurance coverage up to a certain amount as long as you work there. And then they offer pretty competitive voluntary life insurance that you pay for yourself and that you can take with you even if you leave the company. I bought that one. Not because I decided to care about what happens to my body after I’m gone, but because I realized my loved ones have to continue living and I would like to make sure that just because I’m gone from this Earth, they’re still being taken care of. So I bought it. My sister is the 100% beneficiary of my policy. I couldn’t put my mom because I don’t think she’d give anything to my boyfriend. I couldn’t put my dad, well because I didn’t want to and I’m not close to him and I didn’t want him to have any power or decisions over what would happen to me. Because we basically have little to no relationship. I couldn’t just put my boyfriend, but that’s another story entirely. 

Anyway, so I bought some life insurance. I’m starting to feel like an adult. I feel good. What’s a $12 monthly decrease in my paycheck anyway? Whatever. Peace of mind is worth it. 

I got my new Yves Saint Laurent cushion foundation that I’ve been trying to buy for over a year. I love it. It makes my skin look radiant and it doesn’t rub off or fade away easily. I’m basically walking on sunshine these days. 

I walk into work this morning. I woke up late because I’m sick. I’ve had a fever and a runny nose for over a week now. I can thank my boyfriend for getting me sick. He’s pretty much all better now, but I feel like I’m getting sicker. I almost skipped straightening my hair this morning so I could leave on time, but I did it anyway. I go through my entire skincare routine and tuck my makeup bags into my purse. I’ll just put it on when I get to the office. I go to the kitchen to grab some toast and jelly on my way out. I completely burn part of my toast. I cut off the black part, throw some jelly on it and run out the door. I don’t even put my tennis shoes on all the way. I pull into the parking lot at 7:47AM. I feel stressed because I feel like I’m late already. A guy from the factory forgot his badge and calls out to me to ask me to hold the door for him. I do. I put my bag down on my desk and clock in for the day.  7:49AM for the 3rd time in a row. I joke with my coworker how it’s fate that I clocked in at exactly the same time 3 days in a row. I grab my makeup bags and excuse myself to the restroom. As I’m walking by my coworker’s desk, he stops me and says, “I don’t mean to sound like creepy or anything but your skin looks really good today! Not like it doesn’t look good other days, but it’s really glowy today.” Yes, he actually used the word glowy. I thank him and say that I’m going to put on makeup anyway. As I’m finishing up my makeup, my boss comes into the bathroom. She’s also running late. She throws on some makeup and straightens her hair. We both laugh over the fact that we’d rather be late than not wash our hair because of our recent trauma with our most recently terminated employee. (Her hair was just not clean at all. It also kind of smelled.)

I try to concentrate on work but I can’t because my computer isn’t working. I have to reboot it twice. It’s 9:14AM. I notice the date. March 24th. It’s the 5th year anniversary of when my boyfriend sent me the text “I love you!!” (It’s a funny story for another time.) Shit. Yesterday was our actual 5th anniversary. I completely forgot. I sent him a late text message. Of course, no response. He’s probably mad. I was asleep last night when he got home and he woke me up. I got annoyed, ignored him and went back to sleep. Shit, our anniversary sucked for him. My coworker asks me to approve something in our system. I try to concentrate on work, but my mind is just not there today. I’m basically just watching the clock for lunch time. 

My boss sends a message in the chatroom that contains just me, her and our other coworker (I’ll just call her Bell, it’s not her name, but whatever.). She asks if we want to sneak away for a girls lunch. Of course we do. We leave first in my car and she follows around 10 minutes later. Over lunch we talk about whatever and basically just gossip and enjoy each other’s company. She asks me “Gwen, is anything going on in your life differently? These days you’re so happy and your skin just looks really great! Anything going on?” Bell chimes in “Are you pregnant?” Unfortunately, no I’m not pregnant. I attribute the good skin to the new makeup to which my boss counters, “But I saw your skin before the makeup and it looks so bright and clear!” Thank you, thank you, but nothing really is going on in my life that’s any different. I’m just very content with my life. I’m happy with where I am in my life right now and I decided not to let stress affect my mood. I’m happy. I’m in a good place and I’m enjoying my day to day activities, even if nothing has changed. My coworkers both say they’re happy for me. That they haven’t seen me this happy or bright in a while and they hope it can last. Me too. 

We get back to the office. We’re a little late. No one mentions anything about it. I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste from my desk and quickly head to the restroom to brush my teeth. I go back to my desk for like five minutes and then I go bother one of my coworkers. I return back to my desk around 1:30 and try to concentrate on my work but I can’t. My phone vibrates at 1:41PM. I got a text message. I re-read it twice before replying. Kat passed away. I can’t wrap my head around it. Is this a joke? I check her FB. It’s real. I read her husband’s post. I excuse myself to the restroom. I cried in the bathroom for almost 30 minutes before I could regain my composure and return to my desk. For the rest of the work day, I text back and forth with my best friend reminiscing on the past and remembering her. I don’t get any work done. I try to get into my myspace account to see our old pictures but I can’t get the password right. I get more upset and more frustrated. I leave work without saying goodbye. I pull into my apartment parking space. I cry in my car for another 30 minutes before finally going inside. Somehow, my apartment feels more empty. 

A few hours ago, I was feeling really good about my life. I was in a good place, I was feeling happy and optimistic. I never would have imagined that I would hear that kind of news less than an hour after my declaration of how happy I was. If my life was a play, I think that would qualify as dramatic irony and my buying life insurance as foreshadowing. But my life isn’t a play and it isn’t dramatic irony or foreshadowing, it’s just tragic news that happened to come on what should have been a beautiful day. 

I came home to my happy dog but I wasn’t happy. I sat down on the bed and stared at the wall for a while. Then I got on my laptop and continued to try to get into my myspace account. After a while I succeeded. By the way, it’s changed so much now it took me quite a while to figure out how it worked. I looked for our pictures. There weren’t really any. All the wall posts were gone. There was nothing there to comfort me, to drown me in our memories. I signed into my photobucket, there were only a few pictures. I remember having so many more pictures. I’m a little more honest with myself now. I’m sad, I’m hurting, I feel guilty. I can’t even remember the last time I talked to her. Did I even wish her a happy birthday last year? I can’t remember. I don’t think I did. I didn’t think that it would be her last birthday. My last chance to wish her. 

If I’m being super honest with myself, we haven’t talked or been real friends for a while now. I feel worse because I’ve always thought in the back of my head, if I wanted to be friends again, we could be. All I have to do is say “hi”. She’s such a friendly, loving, forgiving person, if I just say “hi” eventually we’ll end up being just as close as before. I can go back anytime. We could be friends again anytime. But there is no more time. I lost all my chances. She was one of my best friends. She was there for me at one of my lowest points in life. When I felt alone, helpless, powerless. When I was depressed and hated myself. She was there, loving me, spending time with me, making me laugh. I needed her more than she could ever imagine. I’m so disappointed in myself. The feelings that she helped gradually remove from my life, I probably put them into hers. When she was so sick and laying in her hospital bed, not knowing if she’d make it back home or not..when she was feeling alone and powerless...when she couldn’t do anything to help herself...when she posted the hospital pictures...Instead of feeling annoyed and thinking to myself that she wants attention, I should have just given it to her. I should have comforted her. I shouldn’t have left her alone in her hospital bed. I shouldn’t have let her feel like she was alone. I shouldn’t have put so much distance between us that she no longer even wanted to try to reach out to me. And now I can’t take it back. I can’t un-close the door. 

I’m not a crazy superstitious person, but when I was in elementary school I read a book. “The Best Bad Thing”. In the book it states that the Japanese believe that bad things happen in threes. Right after I heard she passed away, I kept replaying all the bad things that happened today in my head. 

I woke up late. I burnt my toast. Kat passed away. (I know those things aren’t on the same level, but call me superstitious. I believe in reading the signs.)

I clocked in at the exact same time 3 days in a row. I joked about it being fate. 3. I’ve worked at my company for almost two years and that has never happened before. 

The first two bad things, they weren’t horrible. Just inconvenient. In its own way, I feel like Kat’s passing was my best bad thing today. Even though I’m sad, even though I feel guilty, even though I won’t ever get over my horrible behavior towards her the last few years, it’s still a good bad thing. She’s no longer suffering. She’s no longer sick. She doesn’t have to spend her days alone in the hospital. She doesn’t have to mourn the loss of her dad anymore. She doesn’t have to get endless surgeries and treatments. They don’t have to keep opening up the same incision every few months for another treatment that won’t last. She doesn’t have to put on a brave face anymore. She doesn’t have to be strong anymore. She doesn’t have to keep telling people she’s fine and not to worry about her, when she’s not fine and she’s worried about herself. She doesn’t have to spend any more holidays in the hospital. She can just rest easy. 

And that is what I’m the most thankful for right now. Even if she died hating me (which I doubt, because I don’t think she could ever truly hate anyone), I’m so grateful that she could finally find some peace. 

And in repentance for all the wrongs I have done to her over the years, all my prayers before bed will include a prayer for her family. They have suffered so many losses the past few years.