#can we talk about the cheerleader repression and how fig must miss them at least a little bit i’ve been dying to talk about the ch

[r0sebutch]

okay so. as someone who’s in love with aelwyn abernant. can i talk about bad end fig i would LOVE to talk about bad end fig.

a fig where sandralynn got kalina just a bit earlier. where fig’s had kalina for a long time, not since birth, but since she was young enough for her mom to kiss scrapes better to stop fig’s crying. fig who grew up with her mom’s friend kalina, coming over for afternoon gossip and smiling at fig and telling her that she was growing up so quickly, looking just like her mom, you know. the kind of mom’s friend that becomes aunt kalina, that fig can turn to when she’s thirteen and growing horns and furious with her mom and her “dad”.

a fig that auntie kalina tells that she’s justified in her feelings, that tells her she’s right to feel that way. a fig that auntie kalina tells that her feelings are valid, but she shouldn’t be mean to her parents. a fig that ends up repressing all of that rage and heartbreak and betrayal and staying their perfect little cheerleader, sweet and peppy and furious and perfecting the art of crying silently enough that your parents can’t hear you.

and then… well, aguefort cheerleaders are all… of a kind. and penelope is really such a good friend and role model to the freshmen! and oh, you know kalina? i know her too! isn’t that a coincidence? and oh, do you want to come to this party i’m throwing? and oh, do you want to help me and kalina out with a little thing we’re doing? and she wouldn’t be a bad kid, would she, because she wouldn’t get detention on her first day and she’d probably make a party with some other frosh cheerleaders and would she even meet any of the bad kids? maybe adaine, if aelwyn was still part of kalina’s plans- she might not be, fig being as useful a tool as she could possibly be- but even then, adaine would just be the little sister of a coworker, a friend, maybe. adaine would be a kid her age, yes, someone she could connect to, in a different life, but in this one? kalina tells her that it’d be safer to stick to her adventuring party, to her friends on the cheer squad, and she trusts her aunt, right?

i think bad end fig would have a lot in common with aelwyn. repressed emotion coming out in the form of self destructive tendencies in the form of partying and substance abuse and being the Perfect Child. obviously, their situations are different- vastly so, even in this universe- but they would still have that connection. that one person that they can actually let loose around and with, that one person that- even though they both know the other would betray them at the drop of a hat if kalina told them to- they actually kind of trust.

and then for aelwyn to get caught at ostentatia’s house party, for her to get broken out by the fallinel agents and brought to an elven prison, for penelope to be killed at prom… in this universe, i don’t think fig takes that splash damage. i think that she lays low, and i think that she represses that hurt and that fear just like everything else, and i think she was at ostentatia’s party and i think she saw the bad kids (minus 1) in action and i think that the other freshmen cheerleaders in her adventuring party bore her and i think adaine recognizes herself, in fig, just a little bit. a little scared, and a little furious, and a little hurt, and a lot hiding underneath. and i think that the bad kids just kind of… take fig off the cheerleader’s hands, even though she’s still cheerleading. and kalina loves this for her, tells her everything that will make her act the right way, keeps her on track as her little double agent.

and if she wasn’t with them, didn’t have that connection to gorthalax, they would probably still have found johnny spells’ patron somehow. would probably have stumbled into letting him out. would probably not trust him, but he’s too powerful for them to beat him if they tried, and we know him. first thing he does when he’s let out is find fig. and of course she loves him, of course she’s happy that he didn’t just abandon her, but she’s still repressing her emotions just like kalina manipulated her into doing and on top of that she’s also still hurting because even though he didn’t abandon her outright he kind of still did so she gives him a big perfect smile and hugs him and he can tell that it isn’t quite real, isn’t quite right, but she’s trying and he can try too, for her.

and then they go on their spring break adventure and she’s still not right because kalina has been over her shoulder this whole time and the other bad kids know somethings wrong but this version of her is actually the closed book canon fig thinks she is and so they don’t push it because they don’t want to push her away but they’re going to stop the nightmare king and fig… fig doesn’t suggest they bring sandralynn OR gilear. fig pretends she can’t see kalina in the photo. fig smiles sweetly and does as she’s told, and she intentionally fails her dominate person save because kalina told her to and she trusts kalina, so she should do it, right? and fig knows something’s wrong by now but if she tries to stop now, after everything she’s done, that’s worse, somehow, because that would mean acknowledging that it was wrong all along instead of just pretending otherwise and she would lose everyone she loves but she’s going to lose them anyways and isn’t it better to just have them for now? to just keep them for as long as she can? but then gorthalax is in a gem again because she failed that save, even though kalina told her she wasn’t going to hurt him, and then she almost killed riz, and everything is going wrong and it’s her fault, isn’t it? and the bad kids think they understand why she’s upset but they don’t, not really, because they couldn’t even begin to grasp the whole of it from what she’s let slip. and she loves them and she’s betraying them and she has been since before she even knew they existed and she loves them, dammit, why can’t they just see that?

and then they get to the forest.

and fig has to make that decision all over again.