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uraberika · 6 years ago

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Kissing Booth

Title: Kissing Booth Characters: Urabe Rika, Aphrodi, Mutou Satoshi Pairing: SatoTeru Rated: T Genres: Humor, Romance Words: 4300 words Summary: Rika drags Aphrodi into organising a kissing booth at the upcoming school fair and things don't go as smoothly as Aphrodi had excpected them to. On other platforms: ff.net / ao3 Author’s note: This started as a silly headcanon of mine but after months and months that it haunted me, I finally had written it. I screamed about this to @zafiro-satoshi who drew an amazingly adorable art of if too which you can check out here.

Afuro Terumi was screwed. Yet again. He huffed in annoyance as he ran a hand through his blond locks for what felt like the billionth time. He couldn’t believe that he let himself be fooled like that! He really should have seen it coming, after all the years he had spent being Rika’s friend (and, well, occasional lab rat for her crazy ideas). Urabe Rika was a girl who he could only describe as batshit crazy. However, she was one of Aphrodi’s closest friends and the boy wasn’t sure if he should be glad or terrified by the fact. Rika was loud, annoyingly girly, and had the most absurd ideas in the world. Like this one, for instance, when she convinced Aphrodi to organise a kissing booth for the school fair. A kissing booth for a school fair, like in some idiotic American high school romcom! The girl had guts, that’s for sure. And, apparently, had the brains too, since she managed to get the school board to actually give their blessing to it. So that’s how Aphrodi ended up with a really enthusiastic Rika behind a stall with a sign “kissing booth” and a price for a kiss which was way too low for Aphrodi’s liking. But that wasn’t the thing that bothered the blond boy the most. What really got on his nerves was Rika’s “sense of time” as the girl liked to call it. When Rika reeled Aphrodi into this whole mess, they had agreed to man the booth in equal amounts, just to be fair. The first round would be Rika’s, then after an hour Aphrodi would take over, then Rika again after another hour, then Aphrodi again and so on, until the event would arrive to its end. It was such a simple plan; even an ape would have understood it. But of course plans are meant to be ruined even though everything started off smoothly at first. Rika started her first hour, smiling charmingly at people passing by and shouting after them something on the lines of “This is a chance not to miss/’cause you get to kiss/this beautiful miss!” which immediately caused Aphrodi to mentally cringe at the awkward poem. She was jumping up and down in excitement while making weird gestures with her hands. No wonder she was a cheerleader, Aphrodi thought. With that voice of hers, she could rouse the dead from their eternal slumber and make them win a game even against the national team. So the first hour passed in loud shouting while Rika distributed kisses to every poor soul who dared to approach the stall within two meters. They had a moderate amount of success; their shoe box of coins was still only full about to a quarter. Aphrodi snickered as he remembered that this definitely wasn’t what the principal was expecting. Even though Rika managed to get his approval, it was on the condition of donating the raised money to the school’s rather empty foundation. The gym needed new equipment, the library needed faster computers, and the canteen was waiting for a big renewal as well. But with this amount of money, the school would be able to buy a few second-hand textbooks the most. However, it was none of Aphrodi’s concern; he just hoped that the principal wouldn’t make a big scandal about it. So when the time arrived, he took over the booth with little worry. In retrospect, he should have been worried.

He wasn’t even manning the booth for what felt like fifteen minutes when Aphrodi had to realize that people were clearly more interested in him than they were in Rika. At another time, he sure would have appreciated the attention, but in this particular case, he just wanted to get over with it. He checked his watch for the fiftieth time, took a sharp breath and let his eyes wander over the small crowd gathering in front of the DIY cardboard structure decorated with plenty of glitter and paper hearts (courtesy of Rika). Oh boy, this was going to be a long hour!

And in fact, it was one hell of an hour. Aphrodi kissed more people than he could care to count and now all he wished for was a break. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait any longer for it. He turned his head to the side and looked down at Rika. The blue haired girl was crouched next to Aphrodi, her back leaning against the wall with phone in one hand. She seemed greatly immersed in her phone and was typing so furiously, Aphrodi thought the screen would crack any minute. Rika suddenly realized Aphrodi was staring at her, and she looked up at him.

“Hey, guess what! My Darling had a match yesterday, and a video of it got uploaded, so of course, I had to check it to see my man play again but then I scrolled down and you wouldn’t believe what I saw!” she ignored the sarcastic-faked horrified gasp coming from Aphrodi and put one hand to her heart in a dramatic pose. “Someone was writing trash about PA!” PA was short for Pegasus Academy, the top-notch prissy American private school Rika’s boyfriend went to. They were exclusive and super strict when it came to rules. The school of course, not Rika and her boyfriend. To be honest, Aphrodi knew very little of Rika’s One True Love, he had only met him twice while he was staying at Rika’s for a short time. The guy seemed nice enough if not a bit anxious at times. Or maybe it was just due to Rika, to whose random outbursts the poor boy usually ducked his head in an automatic defence measure.

“Rika!” Aphrodi pinched the bridge of his nose. “People talk trash all the time on the internet. They are called trolls for a reason. Don’t waste your time with them. Come and man the booth instead, it’s your turn.”

“I can’t right now. A bitch is waiting to be roasted,” the cheerleader said and her attention was immediately focused back onto the screen. “Plus, with you, the business is booming!” Aphrodi sighed in exasperation but decided against arguing with her. Starting a fight with Rika was almost pointless since she wouldn’t even care to listen. Whenever her Darling was involved in something, her hearing and vision became quite selective. So he chose the next best option instead.

“Ten minutes max,” he said in a threatening voice and turned back to the slowly dissipating crowd in front of the booth. He could manage ten more minutes, Aphrodi assured himself. The only problem was that Rika’s dictionary didn’t actually contain the expression “ten minutes”. Because suddenly, ten minutes turned into fifteen, then into twenty and then into twenty-five minutes, and Rika still hadn’t looked up from her phone. After an hour had passed, Aphrodi was seriously on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“What the hell takes you so damn long?” the blond boy hissed through gritted teeth. And at last, Rika finally lifted her gaze off the screen.

“Hey, look!” she said cheerfully, as if nothing had happened. “Touko has been transferred back here, she sent a pic from the base!” and indeed, in the picture was a girl with a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon with messy shoulder-length red hair, dressed in a khaki uniform and hat. Zaizen Touko was a former upperclassman of Rika’s and her best friend before Aphrodi transferred here. When she graduated, she joined the army and now worked as a general at a small military unit, but in the picture, she was smiling as if she had never gone through the worst of hell at the army. She was way too young to serve in the military in Aphrodi’s opinion, but the girl was a tough one, he could tell, even if just from Rika’s anecdotes. “We can finally meet again!” Rika turned back excitedly to her phone and Aphrodi could literally feel the veins starting to pulse in his head. So, he changed tactics.

“Girl, I’m really happy for you. Really, I am. But we agreed on switching, and I swear to the Gods, if you don’t stand up and take my place in the next three seconds, I’ll go and dump this shoebox of cash into the dumpsters, and I don’t care if we get expelled for it.” This new plan turned out to be more effective, since Rika quickly rose to her feet, her face wrinkled up in a pout as she begrudgingly changed places with Aphrodi while murmuring something along the lines of “no need the unleash that divine wrath of yours”, but Aphrodi just rolled his eyes. The divine or god jokes were really nothing new to him. People always made teasing remarks about him or his appearance or his love for Ancient Greek culture and mythology, so he was used to people making jokes about him being a god and all that. Actually, that was the reason why he got the nickname “Aphrodi”. Almost everyone in school called him that because he was clearly and openly a mythology nerd and, well, his appearance did seem to resemble in some way that of the Goddess of Love with his long, blond hair and delicate frame.

So, Aphrodi could finally sit back and relax. He leaned against the wall with a contended sigh and closed his eyes, letting the relaxing feel of his muscles unclenching surge through his body. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes and looked around. It was clear that the school fair was slowly but surely coming to an end. Even though there was still almost an hour left of the event, a lot of stalls had closed shop already due to selling out or simply because of the exhausted students. Aphrodi himself wished to pack up and just leave, but that would be admitting defeat. Rika finally took her turn, and she would work for all that money that Aphrodi had raised. Because by the looks of it, Rika wasn’t getting many customers. It was not her fault though, the corridor was almost empty, and most of the students have already sneaked out of the building. It was an extra-curricular event, so no one really bothered to check whether everyone was staying until the last hour. Occasionally, one or two students walked by, but none of them spared even a glance at the stall.

As he heard the sound of footsteps growing louder and louder in the acoustic corridor, Aphrodi cracked one eye open, and it immediately went wide. He quickly opened his other eye, because he had to double check to make it sure, but indeed, his eyes weren’t deceiving him. The one crossing the corridor was none other than Mutou Satoshi. The boy had long, purple hair, reaching way down past his shoulder blades and the warmest hazel eyes Aphrodi has ever seen. He had a white towel around his neck and was taking quick breaths as he dabbed his damp hair with the end of the towel. He must have come from practice, the sane part of Aphrodi observed. Mutou played as a striker in the school’s football team, and no, the fact didn’t make him any less attractive. Aphrodi has been crushing on him for almost a year now. He met the boy through Rika, at one of the parties that were thrown after a big victory (or an unfair lose) at some player’s house. Rika dragged Aphrodi along because her Darling wasn’t free that night, and Rika needed supervision when it came to partying. That was when Rika introduced him to the whole football team (and, well, to the cheerleader team as well, but that didn’t really grasp Aphrodi’s interest), and that was when Aphrodi first saw Mutou. After a brief handshake, neither of them really spoke to each other (due to the fact that Aphrodi was so stunned by the boy’s handsomeness that he suddenly forgot all the communication skills he used to have, and, because, as he came to know later on, Mutou wasn’t really the one for small talk. Or for talk, in general. As from what information Aphrodi gathered within several months, Mutou was a calm and collected boy with a solid moral compass but with few social abilities, and his comportment had a certain distinctness to it. His moves were delicate but calculated. His speech was always polite but at the same time somewhat reserved. So, Mutou was everything the hot headed blond wasn’t; but that didn’t stop Aphrodi from falling head over heels for the poor boy who must have had no idea about the whole situation. Despite their first awkward meeting, Aphrodi and Mutou remained good acquaintances. They would wave at each other while passing in the hallway and, sometimes, they would eventually make small talk after practice, while both of them were waiting for their friends to change and finally be able to be off. So it was no surprise that the purple-haired striker waved and headed towards them when he spotted the duo behind the stall. Nevertheless, Aphrodi’s heart skipped a beat while he tried to get his knees to cooperate in standing up and moving his body next to Rika.

As soon as the cheerleader spotted Mutou, her face lit up. While Aphrodi was still contemplating on which form of greeting to choose (“good day” sounded so formal, while a casual “hello” made Aphrodi think that he would seem careless), Rika had no such qualms about it.

“Hey, Mutou-kun!” she shouted enthusiastically, letting everyone know even on the third floor that, indeed, Urabe Rika has spotted a friend. She waved towards him in an over exaggerated manner while a small smile spread across the boy’s lips.

“Hello, Rika-san!” he said and turned his head towards Aphrodi and nodded slightly, his gaze never meeting the blonde’s. “Aphrodi-san.”

Suddenly, Aphrodi was too aware of how the temperature in the corridor seemed to rise. This was absolutely abnormal. It was May, for the Gods, who would ever think of turning the heating on in here?! No wonder the school needed money, if they heat away all of their funds!

“How are you doing, Mutou-kun?” the blue haired girl asked. “How was practice?”

“It was fine,” the boy said, and even though he wasn’t actually smiling anymore, Aphrodi could hear the delight in his voice. “We still got a lot to work on, but I’m actually quite optimistic this time,” the boy said, and that was when Aphrodi knew that that football team must be really something. Mutou was the most realistic guy he had ever met; he had a real down-to-earth mentality and he didn’t throw around praises in the air just for nothing. Aphrodi couldn’t help but let a goofy smile loom its way to his expression. He really liked when Mutou was optimistic. “And you, guys?” came the question, and Aphrodi was shaken out of his daydreaming in an instant. Somehow he actually realised that they were indeed doing a kissing booth, and oh boy, if this wasn’t his luckiest day in years!

“Actually,” the blond boy cleared his throat. “I was about to take over the booth, since Rika-chan’s shift was just about to end.” He tried to smile as innocently as he could while he also prayed that Rika would get the hint being a self-proclaimed love expert and all.

“You what now?” Rika asked incredulously. “C’mon man, you’ve been whining for a whole hour wanting me switch you out, and now that I’ve taken over, you actually want to switch back?” she asked in pure confusion. Looks like Aphrodi overestimated Rika’s expertise in the domain of love and subtle hints. Oh well, there’s nothing that a good shove in the ribs wouldn’t solve.

While Rika was trying to grasp her side and catch her breath not too obviously, Aphrodi put on his most charming smile and turned to the boy at the other end of the booth who watched the events with a mildly confused expression and a raised brow. A couple of seconds passed while Rika regained her composure. She stared at the duo warily, her gaze darting from one to another with incredible speed. And finally, after what felt like an eternity to Aphrodi, the penny dropped. Her face lit up as the realisation hit her, and she sent a rather smug smirk towards Aphrodi spiced with a weird suggestive lift of her blue eyebrows (an expression which was sure to haunt Aphrodi in his future nightmares).

“Of course!” she slapped a hand across her forehead. “I was just about to head for the…” her voice seemed the waver for a minute. “Toilets,” she finished with absolute conviction. Well, Rika wasn’t the best at improvisation, but Aphrodi had to give her kudos for the dramatic vehemence. “I’ll trust you can take care of things while I’m away?” she said as she was clearly fighting to be able to keep the amusement and mockery out of her voice. “Good luck, make sure he pays just as much as any customer would!” she shouted over her shoulder, then all Aphrodi could make out was a blue blur, and suddenly the ever-enthusiastic cheerleader was gone.

As soon as Rika disappeared out of sight, a slightly awkward silence settled between the two boys. Aphrodi still couldn’t believe his luck that he actually managed to get into this situation with Mutou of all people! Just like in some idiotic American high school romcom, he smiled to himself. He must have done something really noble for the Gods to provide him such a lucky situation, he amused as he stared at the purple-haired striker with a rather starstruck expression. On the other hand, Mutou’s expression wasn’t as trusting. He eyed the blond boy warily as one would scrutinize a wildcat in its cage: fascinated but ready to bolt at any minute in case something bad happened. So, Aphrodi decided to step up his game. After all, he wasn’t nicknamed after the goddess of love for nothing!

He flashed his brightest smile and looked the boy right into the eyes, determined to say something flirty.

“So, you come here often?” Aphrodi wanted to mentally slap his own face for the slip-up. Way to go, Casanova, just barge down that damn door, wouldn’t you?!

Mutou looked around the area with furrowed brows and asked: “You mean… the corridor?” Well, there’s no turning back now, so Aphrodi just slightly nodded. Mutou’s expression didn’t soften, but he shrugged. “I guess,” he replied. “Though I have classes more frequently on the third floor.”

Aphrodi quickly swallowed back the laughter threatening to burst through his mouth. The boy took his question literally!

“I see,” Aphrodi replied to gain some time to think. “So, care to help us out in raising funds for the school?” he asked next. This time Aphrodi mentally patted himself on the back. That was so subtle that even he wasn’t sure where he wanted this conversation to go.

“Sure. The gym could use a few new soccer balls. What you guys doing?” the striker asked, his distrust slowly dissolving. Aphrodi pointed upwards, to the huge sign with “kissing booth” written all over in pink and filled with so many drawn red hearts that Aphrodi was pretty sure that it was unhealthy. Mutou followed the motion with his gaze, finally settling onto the ominous carton board. What happened next was absolutely unexpected: the ever-collected boy, who was always polite and whose expression rarely betrayed his thoughts, turned to a curious shade of beet.

“Ah I see…” he murmured to himself as he was clearly trying to recompose himself. Aphrodi knew that a lot of people were against their idea and some of them (like Nagumo) even cared to voice their displeasure. Maybe Mutou was one of those people who found a kissing booth on a school fair scandalous. Aphrodi decided it was time to backtrack before Mutou gave a piece of his mind too on the matter, just like Nagumo did.

“Of course, if you’re against the idea, I absolutely understand, the thought is what counts,” the blond boy said quickly.

“No-no, of course not,” Mutou quickly reassured him. “It’s a really… hmm…” he coughed. “Creative way of raising funds. And everything for a better equipped school, right?” he asked and fished out a few coins of the pocket of his shorts. He laughed, but the sound was strained as if he was trying to convince himself to put the money into the box. Finally, he dropped the coins into the makeshift bank. He then stared at Aphrodi expectantly with the colour not fading a bit on his face. Aphrodi was glad that even though he had a pale complexion, he wasn’t the one to easily blush. And on the few occasions when he felt insecure or embarrassed or overjoyed, only his earns turned red. Thus the long hair, and he thanked the Gods that this time his ears were safely tucked behind his blond locks because he could feel that they were almost flaming.

Aphrodi looked back at Mutou as he listened to the pounding of his heart in his ears. Should he make the first move? Should he be the one to lean in? Or should he just wait until Mutou feels comfortable enough to come closer? As he looked at the boy, he could clearly see the hesitation on his face. Does he not like him? Funny enough, this thought had never crossed Aphrodi’s mind before. Everyone is always so swept away by his appearance and manners and his whole charm that the thought has never actually occurred to him. But what if Mutou only liked him as a friend?

However, before Aphrodi could fall into an endless cycle of overthinking, the purple-haired boy suddenly moved towards him and put his lips to Aphrodi’s. Immediately, all coherent thoughts stopped coursing through Aphrodi’s brain while he felt the strength escaping his legs. He quickly braced himself on the top of the counter as he tried not to get lost in the kiss too much. It was really the sweetest and most innocent kiss Aphrodi had today, hell, even his whole life, and he didn’t want this moment to ever end. But this time, the Gods decided that this was enough luck for today and the next thing Aphrodi knew was that Mutou had drawn back and was face to face again with him. His whole face was burning and Aphrodi could also feel that the heat had finally spread across his own cheeks as well. They stared at each other for a few seconds; both not quite comprehending what they had just done. Finally, after an eternity, Mutou coughed in embarrassment and turned away.

“Well, good luck to the rest of the fair,” he croaked and repositioned a strand of hair behind his ear. He was clearly going, and Aphrodi started to panic. No, this can’t end like this! After a whole year of pining that’s it? Maybe Mutuo didn’t get the message that he likes him? Nah, that can’t be it, Aphrodi literally kissed him on the lips! Well, as part of a kissing booth project where they were raising funds by kissing people, and Aphrodi had kissed a lot of people, and oh for the love of the Gods, Mutou had no idea! Aphrodi had to think of something quickly before Mutou’s retreating back disappeared completely out of sight. So, he decided to act upon instinct.

“Wait!” he didn’t really even think through what he was going to say, but Mutou immediately turned around and raised a questioning eyebrow at his direction. “Are you free on Sunday?” There goes nothing!

“Uhm… I guess?” the purple-haired boy scratched his neck; feeling embarrassed at the sudden attention Aphrodi gave him as his cheeks turned yet again a faint shade of red. “I’ll have practice in the morning but after that I’m mostly free. Why?” he asked suspiciously as if he was waiting for Aphrodi to take back what he said at any moment.

“You see…”Aphrodi started. “Rika’s boyfriend is having a match, a super elite one, that is. And of course, Rika, being her girlfriend, got a couple of extra tickets. Of course she would get, why wouldn’t she, right?” oh for the Gods’ sake, now he was rambling! He should have been named after the goddess of nonsense, not the goddess of love! “And you see, I actually got a plus one, and since you are a striker and everything I thought you’d be interested, and maybe we could go there together so I could show you the place, it’s an amazingly huge stadium really, one of the best, and you see…” Aphrodi was tripping on his words and he saw Mutuo’s lips curving into small smile at his struggling.

“Thank you for thinking of me,” the boy replied, his voice more measured than ever and for a moment Aphrodi’s heart skipped a beat as he became sure that Mutou was going to decline his sort-of-clumsy-date-proposal. “I would love to watch Ichinose-san’s match with you,” he said.

“Oh, great,” Aphrodi let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “So how about we meet half an hour before the match at the park next to the school? Around six? “

“Sounds great,” Mutou smiled amicably, blush fading on his face. And the next moment, the purple-haired boy was gone just like an illusion, but Aphrodi knew that it was anything but an illusion. He placed his head in the palm of his hands as he grinned at the empty corridor like some idiot. Oh boy, Rika was going to freak out so much!

#Inazuma Eleven #Urabe Rika #aphrodi #Afuro Terumi #mutou satoshi #metron #satoteru #mystuff #myff #I hope you enjoy this zafi^^ and I'm sorry if they were a bit ooc

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pattie-remembers · 7 years ago

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Famous muse Pattie Boyd says she neglected herself in her rock star marriages

10 April 2018 — 10:21am

If you remember the '60s, you weren't there: so it is said of that explosive decade of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll when girls sashayed down the Kings Road in tiny skirts and Biba boots, boys wore ruffled shirts over tight velvet trousers and London was the epicentre of cool.

Oblivion came with the territory: Eric Clapton was supposed to have slept with more than 1000 women but as he told me in an interview for Fairfax Media, "I wouldn't know, I was in a blackout for quite a few of them".

George Harrison and wife Pattie Boyd.

Photo: Keystone Pictures USA / Alamy Stock Photo

Pattie Boyd was both muse and wife to Clapton, to George Harrison before him and no stranger to drug and booze-fuelled partying. But there was little danger of failing memory for her. She kept a record of the wild years – portraits and reportage style snaps taken with a Polaroid and, later, on a Hasselblad.

As fans and paparazzi clamoured at the door, Boyd had the inside track, hanging out with The Beatles and friends, at home with George, on tour with Eric. "I took endless photos," she says. "It was something to do, otherwise you could feel a bit spare."

Pattie Boyd and her then husband George Harrison in England in 1968.

Photo: Pattie Boyd

We are talking in her Kensington flat ahead of an exhibition of her photographs and a series of speaking engagements in Australia in May. I'd spent several minutes on the rather grand doorstep, repeatedly ringing the bell and wondering if I'd got the wrong address. Perhaps she'd been having a nap; she is 74 after all and it is that snoozy, post-lunch time of day when I often feel like one myself. She does seem quite dreamy, half-heartedly remonstrating with a friendly Irish terrier called Freddie who inspects me thoroughly before jumping onto a large pouffe, not quite as pristine white as the matching sofas. "He's allowed on that one," she says.

Boyd is wearing skinny jeans on her long, slim legs and a deep blue mohair jumper; a fall of blonde hair frames what is still recognisably the face that launched, not a thousand ships, but three of the greatest love songs of the 20th century.

George Harrison wrote Something in the first flush of his youthful marriage to Boyd; the soaring guitar chords of Layla expressed Clapton's yearning obsession with his friend's wife. Then, when he had won her, he wrote Wonderful Tonight – and who hasn't danced dreamily to that, wrapped in a lover's arms?

There is a photograph of a 19-year-old Boyd in the flat: blonde fringe, huge blue mascara'd eyes and a tiny Union Jack stuck on the end of her nose. It is from a weighty coffee table book, Birds of Britain, containing portraits of London's posh totty – society girls who roamed the bars and vintage clothes stalls of Chelsea. Boyd's face is on the cover.

George Harrison, 1968

Photo: Pattie Boyd

She was a model then, on the run from her dysfunctional family, broke and living on Birds Eye chicken pies in a shared flat. "You had to go round the photographers persuading them to use you for shoots," she says. "Norman Parkinson said, 'Come back when you've learned to do your hair.' It was all DIY hair and make up back then."

Did photographers hit on her? "Well some might try it on but you didn't submit and say, 'Oh must I?' You'd get out of there and warn the others." So it wasn't a #MeToo scene? "No! I don't know why these women don't just say, 'F--k off, I'm not having a meeting with you in your dressing gown with nothing on underneath.'" Is she a feminist? "Well not in the old 'hate men' way, but I don't like women being treated badly. I think the young generation – what are they called, snowflakes? – don't take responsibility for themselves."

George Harrison and Eric Clapton in England in 1976.

Photo: Pattie Boyd

She met George Harrison on the set of A Hard Day's Night – she played a schoolgirl – and they married when she was 21. They moved into Friar Park, a gothic pile in Hampshire where the Beatles came to record, friends drove from London to stay and she threw herself into decorating, cooking and entertaining. She was, she says, blissfully in love but often lonely: wives and girlfriends were not allowed on tour and Harrison was frequently absent. After the Beatles had discovered the Maharishi Yogi and they all went to India to learn meditation, Harrison returned gripped by eastern mysticism. "He chanted a lot," she recalls, "it's difficult to talk to someone who's chanting."

He had also discovered that he was attractive to women: "He was famous, good-looking, had tonnes of money and flash cars – what a combo. Girls were offering themselves everywhere and he loved it. To come home to old wifey must have been a bit dull."

I took endless photos. It was something to do, otherwise you could feel a bit spare.

Does she think all men would be like that if they could? "Yes I do," she says firmly. What constrains them? She shrugs: "Society, women, family?"

Eric Clapton had been a frequent visitor to Friar Park, laying siege to Boyd and, famously, playing a guitar "duel" with Harrison in the kitchen: she was the putative prize. "It was John Hurt [the actor] who described it as a duel," she says, "and he was so on the button. I sensed it but I hadn't formulated it."

She was attracted to Clapton, by then a rock deity – the legend "Clapton is God" was spray-painted on city walls – but determined to stay in her marriage. Her parents had split up when she was 10, her stepfather was a cruel and unusual man who tyrannised the family and left her mother for another woman: "As a child I always thought I would do anything to avoid divorce."

By the time she left Harrison – "He didn't want us to be together, it was a life of rejection" – Clapton had made good on his threat to take heroin if he couldn't have her. It would be four years before they got together.

Propped on an easel beside the window of Boyd's flat is a rather beautiful black and white photograph of John Lennon. Did she take it? "No, I bought it." Wasn't he the most interesting of the four? "He was, yes, he was. He was quite volatile, you never knew what he would say next. He was a pretty sexy guy actually." Did they have a fling? "No!" she exclaims. I explain I'd seen it suggested somewhere in a newspaper article. "How cheeky," she says comfortably. Later, reading her autobiography published in 2007, I find another reference to the rumoured liaison. True or not, I don't think she minds the idea.

Boyd and Clapton married in 1979: "I was madly passionate about him," she says. "We lived at Hurtwood Edge [Clapton's home for the past 50 years], I was in my 30s and ready to have babies; I used to wander round the house thinking, this will be the baby's room, the nanny can sleep here." But it was not to be: despite visits to a series of doctors and several rounds of IVF, the longed-for baby never arrived.

Clapton, meanwhile, had replaced heroin with alcohol and was drinking heroically. Boyd joined him on tour where he and the band would have girls to their rooms after the show. Cruellest of all, two of his extra-marital relationships produced babies: a daughter Ruth and two years later a son, Conor, who would die, aged four, in a fall from the window of his mother's New York apartment. Boyd and Clapton divorced in 1988.

Asked once who was the great love of her life, Boyd nominated Harrison: "I think he always loved me … Eric loves himself. She admits now: "In both my marriages I had neglected myself, and got lost in a big cloud of fame, I got lost in their lives."

When the music stopped Boyd found herself with a legacy – cardboard boxes full of photographs which she exhibits and sells as prints from her online gallery. They are the archive of an era: here is an angelic George lying in bed in an Indian ashram, Eric in a woodshed leaning on an axe and looking Lawrentian in corduroy trousers, Paul and Linda McCartney at Boyd's wedding to Eric, Anita Pallenberg and Marianne Faithfull at the Brixton Academy. They are candid and intimate: did anyone ever object? "No, not at all," she says, surprised, "I would never show a photo where someone's not looking good."

The collection has been a useful earner for the girl who left school with three O levels and had no need to work while married to rich men. She has continued to take photographs – portraits of actors for their books and pictures from her travels. Does the contemporary work sell? "No one's really interested," she says without rancour.

Freddie needs a walk so we put on coats and set off for Holland Park where the trees are still leafless but there are daffodils and a hint of spring. Boyd has been with her partner, property developer Rod Weston, for 20 years – "we are old friends" – and they wed in 2015. They share the Kensington flat and a cottage in Sussex bought for her by Clapton. Why did they decide to marry? "We have lots of nieces and nephews between us," she says, "we wanted to put everything in order so there wouldn't be any tears." We walk on a few paces: "It's funny," she says, "Rod has been much nicer since we married and I am happier and less selfish. I didn't anticipate that."

She remained friends with Harrison until his death from cancer in 2001 and has stayed in touch with Clapton, many years sober and married with three more children. Last year she accompanied him to the launch of a documentary about him, A Life in 12 Bars, in which she features, naturally. "He rang me and said, 'It's a bit raw Pattie, I hope you'll be OK.' I said, 'I'll be fine Eric. I'm a grown-up now."

George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Me: An Evening with Pattie Boyd will be held at Sydney's Four Seasons Hotel on May 15. Boyd's work will be shown at the Blender Gallery in Paddington from May 5 to June 2 as part of the Head On Photo Festival.

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kittyhelpdesk · 5 years ago

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Enrichment Guide for Cats

"enrich: to make rich or richer especially by the addition or increase of some desirable quality, attribute, or ingredient" -- Merriam-Webster Dictionary

When we talk about feline enrichment, we’re talking about enriching their environment, their sensory stimulation, and their behavior. These are especially important for indoor cats who don’t get the daily excitement (and danger) of the ever-changing environment outside. Whenever a cat has a behavior issue, enrichment should always be one of the first solutions to try.

ENVIRONMENTAL ENRICHMENT

When a cat sees the same old house or apartment day-in and day-out, they can quickly become bored with their surroundings. This is especially true if their basic biology is ignored by their caregivers. There are simply things that cats need in their lives in order to feel…well, like cats. There are things they need to do every day, like scratching and scent marking, and they will truly suffer if deprived of these activities.

CLIMB HIGH

Most cats enjoy being up high. It gives them a feeling of safety and satisfies their arboreal natures. It also exponentially increases their perceived living space. Achieving this doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Furniture can be arranged to allow stair-steps to higher spots like the tops of bookcases. Tall cat trees can also help when strategically placed throughout the home.

COZY HIDING SPOTS

Cats also like having places to hide where they feel safe. A box with a hole cut in the side or a blanket on the floor behind some boxes in the closet will do. Let your cat show you the way. She’ll probably have already picked out the hiding places she likes. Now it’s up to you to make them more comfy and secure. At the very least, never reach in and force her out of her safe area or she’ll probably move to a new spot.

WINDOW ACCESS

While there’s no replacement for the great outdoors, there are ways for cats to experience it from a safe vantage point. Window access is a must. The more the merrier. Make sure your cat has convenient perches from which to watch the goings-on outside. If you can do so at your home, add a bird feeder outside the window to provide more entertainment for your cat.

CATIOS

Catios are also a popular option that gives cats the feeling of the great outdoors but within safe confines. They may seem prohibitively expensive at first glance, but they can be easy enough to build on your own. Catio Spaces even offers DIY plans with clear instructions and parts lists. These plans also allow you to customize your catio to meet your own needs or the specific shape of the area you wish to enclose.

HARNESS TRAINING

Harness training is also an option for many cats. Just be sure to choose a secure harness and work up to this adventure in baby steps. Begin with just the harness and reinforce with treats. Before long, you’ll be taking your cat for a walk in the garden. Just don’t forget the flea control.

SENSORY ENRICHMENT

Cats perceive the world using the same five sense that we use, but their perceptions are quite different from our own. Their senses have been carefully tuned to help them be the best predators they can be.

SCENTs

The sense of smell is of utmost importance to cats. They see scents the way we see brightly colored signposts. They use their sense of smell to track prey, to mark their territory, and to form familial bonds. Their own scents are like coded messages that other cats can decode hours and even days after they’ve left them.

You can help your cat enjoy and understand her world by allowing him to experience new smells every day. When you come home, allowing him to smell your hands is a bit like telling him a story about everywhere you’ve been while you were out.

You can also hide treats for him to locate with that acute sense of smell. And since around 60% of cats have receptors that react to catnip, that’s also a great treat from time to time. Just be sure to crush it between your fingers to release more of the oils present in the dried leaves usually offered to cats.

SOUNDS

Our cats’ hearing range is higher than ours in order to hear rodent squeaks and tiny feet but they don’t hear low range sounds like we do. That means that they prefer toys that make high-pitched crinkly sounds. A wadded up ball of paper can be perfect for batting practice as it makes great crinkly, skittery sounds when attacked or knocked across the room.

It’s also important to be aware of sounds that might annoy our feline friends. Most electronics emit high-pitched whines that are beyond our ability to hear, but cats can certainly hear them. Even the refrigerator and air conditioner coming on unexpectedly can frighten a cat. That’s why it’s usually best to place their food bowls and litter box far away from noisy appliances and doors.

SIGHTS

Their eyesight is strong in some ways and weak in others. Cats can see clearly with almost no light at all but they can’t see well up close. Ever wonder why they have a hard time finding that treat you’re holding right in front of them? They can smell it, but they can’t see it.

We mentioned windows and bird feeders above, so we’ll just reiterate that suggestion here. Aquariums can also be stimulating as long as they’re secured so the fish are safe.

In addition, there are a number of made-for-cats videos available for free on YouTube. We’ve had mixed results from the use of these videos. They’re great if they’re used in moderation and followed by a rigorous play session. However, they can frustrate some cats when they’re unable to jump through the screen and catch the birds. The effect can be the same as the laser toy they can never catch. These are great as a build up to a play session with a physical toy, but they aren’t a replacement for interactive play.

TOUCH

This may sound obvious, but spend time petting and brushing your cat. Most cats derive tremendous satisfaction from gentle physical caresses. They react the same way that they would to being groomed by another cat, so don’t be surprised if they give you a lick or two in response. Just be careful not to overstimulate your cat. When a cat’s back ripples or quivers or her tail thrashes from side to side, it’s time to give her a break. Those signals are meant to communicate their overstimulated state to other cats, but humans don’t always get the message.

A relatively new concept is the addition of touch-toys. These have unusual textures or surfaces that feel good when rubbed against. Every cat reacts differently to them but some truly enjoy this sort of toy.

BEHAVIOR ENRICHMENT

It’s important that cats be encouraged to behave like cats. If we deny them the things that their very nature tells them they need, we’re doing them a tremendous disservice and we’re opening the door for problem behaviors later on. These are behaviors that serve a purpose for them and nature has selected these behaviors because they contribute to the overall fitness of the species. We can help to facilitate these behaviors in order to have a happier cat.

MARKING BEHAVIORS

Rubbing against things is often misinterpreted by cat aficionados. This is a marking behavior most often using the scent glands at the cheeks and base of the tail. Cats use these scent glands to mark their territory with their scent. This is why they rub against door jambs and even our legs and hands. They feel more secure when surrounded by their own scent. We can’t smell these odors, but they stand out to cats like colored smoke. They can see if other cats have been around and they can even create family scents that are mixes of the smells made by all the cats and humans in the house. This is one of the reasons they like being on our beds so much - they contain heavy concentrations of our human scents that our cats associate with a feeling of family.

We can encourage rubbing behaviors by using all manner of textured surfaces at our cat’s eye level. There are some great arch toys that are highly appealing to cats and there are textured plastic units that can screw to any right-angled surface like a door frame. We especially like these because they can be positioned at your cat’s favorite height and can sometimes even be helpful in relocating these behaviors to more desirable (for the humans) spots.

Scratching is another marking behavior, and it’s one that some people try to discourage. Some barbarians even go so far as to have their cats declawed. Fortunately, this practice is slowly being outlawed, but it shows just how little most people understand their cats. Cats have to scratch. They have no choice. It’s how they shed their outer nail sheaths in order to keep their claws sharp. It’s also a way of marking their territory with the scent glands in their paws. They have to have convenient places to scratch or they’ll make their own. Scratching posts are a necessity. The bigger the better and the more the better lest you find that the side of your favorite easy chair is a prime target. Your feline friend should be able to extend her entire body when scratching and stretching, so having posts that are at least twice as high as your cat’s head height are best. They also need to be sturdy. If a post wobbles when a cat is using it, she may come to distrust it. Some cats also like to scratch on horizontal surfaces, so inexpensive cardboard scratchers can be put to good use as well.

HUNTING

Probably the number one drive in cats is the need to hunt and kill prey. This goes beyond their need to feed themselves as anyone with an outdoor cat knows all too well. Cats need to stalk the prey, capture the prey, kill the prey and eat in order to feel satiated. We can help them to perform these activities without risking the health and well-being of local wildlife. We do so by simulating the hunt using toys.

Every cat has a particular type of prey that he responds to. For some, it’s birds. For others, it’s rodents. Some like lizards. This is important to note so you can choose the right toys for your little predator. If he gets excited when he sees birds outside, try Da Bird. If he’s constantly eyeing squirrels in the yard, get him stuffed mice to play with.

Anything can be an effective toy as long as you learn to simulate the hunt.When being hunted by a cat, a bird isn’t going to dangle over the cat’s face. It’s going to fly rapidly overhead, maybe even dive-bombing the cat. Or maybe it’s going to be hurt and trying to hide on the ground. Whatever play most excites your cat, DO THAT. Most cats are particularly excited when prey disappears from view, so have it go around corners but still make a noise. Allow your cat time to stalk the prey and observe it before pouncing.

Laser pointers have become popular cat toys because cats respond to them. That’s due to the fact that cats have motion-sensitive vision that makes them respond more to quick movements than to slow ones. The trouble with lasers is that there’s nothing to catch, so cats can end up feeling unfulfilled by their pretend hunt. Some cats can also become neurotically obsessed with every flicker of light and shadow once conditioned to chase the red dot. It can be quite distressing to them, so our general recommendation is against using lasers altogether. If you choose to use a laser toy, just use it sparingly and offer a catchable toy at the end of each red dot hunt.

It’s important to note that toys don’t have to be expensive. They need to be safe for cats, but beyond that anything goes. We’ve found that freshly crumpled paper does the trick more often than not. And boxes - ANY boxes - are always a hit. Variety is important, so rotate toys frequently.

If you use string, yarn, or twine with your homemade toys, just make sure you put them away when you’re not around so your feline friend doesn’t accidentally swallow them. The barbs on cats’ tongues face inward, so they can often force a string down a cat’s throat and they won’t be able to get it out. The end result can be a blocked intestinal tract and expensive surgery to save your friend’s life.

Some people recommend the use of feeding toys such as kibble-dispensing balls and puzzle feeders. While we agree with the general concept of these, the ones we’ve tested have used kibble exclusively. Since we don’t recommend feeding your cat kibble, we find it difficult to recommend these toys.

DRINKING

Cats have notoriously low thirst drives. Having descended from a species of desert-dwelling wild cats, it makes sense. Unfortunately, this trait does them a disservice today. Up to 80% of geriatric cats have been shown to have varying degrees of kidney disease. This staggering statistic is largely due to the feeding of moisture-poor foods such as kibble. In the wild, most cats obtain the moisture they need from the prey they hunt and eat. At home, we need to make water a little more appetizing to them. We do that by adding a fountain.

Many pet cats show a preference for running water. The speculation is that stagnant water in the wild would be more likely to be contaminated. We can use this preference to our advantage and encourage our cats to drink more. It’s preferable to offer up water in a stainless steel container, but a plastic one will do if that’s what they will accept. The problem with plastic is that it harbors bacteria, so if you opt for a plastic fountain, be extra-diligent in keeping it clean.

Clicker TRAINING

Having regular training sessions can help cats have something to think about other than seeing what stuffing is inside your pillows. Many cats respond well to training challenges especially if those cats are particularly food motivated.

Clicker training is associative positive reinforcement training that uses a clicking device to mark the point when the cat has achieved the goal you’ve set out for them. We’ll be adding an entire article on clicker training soon, but suffice it to say that this kind of training is inexpensive and entertaining for both the trainer and the trainee. It’s even used with humans to great success.

ANOTHER CAT

The ultimate cat enrichment tool is another cat! While it may be unwise to try and get a cat over the age of four to embrace a newcomer, younger cats are usually open to the idea if introduced gradually. Every cat is different, though. If your feline friend was hand-reared as a baby, he or she may be frightened by any attempts at introducing a newcomer. Gender may also play a role in that male cats are less likely to participate in familial units in the wild, but female cats often stay together later in life.

We want to make this point crystal clear: some cats are truly happier being in one-cat households. If a new cat terrorizes your long term resident, don’t feel guilty about returning the newcomer to the rescue. That said, if you can adopt a bonded pair together to begin with, everyone in the household will be much happier. It’s actually easier to take care of two cats than one because they entertain one another. Of course, there are also extra expenses to consider. Do your due diligence and if you can afford it, we think two (or more) cats is definitely the way to go.

CONCLUSION

We hope this article has helped you to see that enrichment comes in many forms. Take a few moments to look at your home from your cat’s point of view and you’re bound to see some easy ways to make their world more fun and interesting. Good luck!

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