#can u tell that this is my fixation atm | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

txxfiles · 10 months ago

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writing

hhhhhhhhhhhh.

I’m struggling with my feelings towards my passions atm. Nothing new in all fairness, but this month is starting to put things into perspective in a way that feels like a tonne of boulders falling upon my head.

I finished university in august and graduated in december with a first class honours which i worked really fucking hard for. but i’ve done nothing since. the idea of sitting down in front of my laptop and planning out a new idea is so incredibly daunting to me i don’t know how to put it into words.

one of my friends i went to uni with gave me a gentle (ish) lecture on becoming more disciplined. apparently motivation doesn’t exist, you just have to be disciplined. i don’t know how to discipline myself, i would love someone else to do it for me in both senses if u catch my drift. he then compared me to a car, saying i need someone to jump start me and then i would be away and as much as that made me laugh, he’s right. that monologue from fleabag came to mind, the one where she says how she just wants someone to tell her what to do, that’s me. i don’t know how to make myself do stuff, especially if it’s something i know will be difficult. i don’t know why and i don’t know how to stop but that’s the way it’s always been. uni was great because i had people around me doing the same stuff and a level of responsibility to the school and myself to get shit done to the best of my ability. it was also very expensive so that helped. that was the motivation. i didn’t need to discipline myself because i knew i could do it. so, where do i stand now? there’s no one here to tell me to do something or give me a level of responsibility to something to make me work. it’s just me. me and my rapidly failing mental health and my shitty job that i hate. why would i want to do anything other than rot in my bed all day on my days off?

but i do want to do it, that’s the problem. i love writing, it’s one of my favourite things to do. i used to do it all the time. like literally every night i would be writing something new. i don’t do that anymore and i don’t know why. i was writing fan fiction about whatever i was hyper fixated on at the time but i don’t even have a hyper fixation atm so there’s nothing their either!!!

writing comes easy to me in a way that i don’t quite understand. we had a lesson at uni where we talked about our writing processes and i got embarrassed because i don’t have one. i have an idea i like and i write it. that’s it. it sounds like a cop out and a lie, but it’s true and i got shit from other people in my class about it (not that i care) but hearing other people talk about the planning and extensive research they do into their projects made me feel ashamed for not working that way. not working harder i guess. which is mad because everyone is different and no two people work the same but it feels shameful to have something come so easy to you when some people work so so hard to achieve the same thing. its weird, feeling embarrassed for being good at something. probably because i’m not super good at many things and i know the others will tell me different but i’m not putting myself down i’m just saying i’ve been average at everything my whole life except for a couple things that i’m very good at so, being in a room of people who all wanna do the same thing as you and being at the top of the class pretty consistently and having people tell you you’re good at something is such a foreign concept to me that the fact i also can just do it without planning feels like a cop out.

and now i have no structure, no one to give me tasks and no one to hold me accountable for my actions and i’m stuck. it sounds like i’m trying to push responsibility onto someone else but i’m not i just don’t know HOW to get to the point where i love doing it again. i wanna write something great and be successful and fall in love with it again but i can’t find the strength to slap myself on the ass and do it. doing this is helping, the blog writing is fun and i’m enjoying it a lot so that’s a start.

it feels superficial, why not just do it i hear you scream in my face but trust me i would if i fucking could. i’m sat here with one of the shows that made me wanna go into screenwriting playing in the background and thinking damn maybe one day i’ll write something this good. but i won’t if i can’t FUCKING START.

i’m at my parents this week and have been sorting through old stuff of mine and found a load of old school stuff and every single thing is average, every grade, every letter from school, every silly little award slip is average. i don’t do well in academic settings, i’m aware of this and my strengths lie in other things which is great. sure i get confused about stuff that comes easy to others but i can do stuff those people can’t with ease. we had a conversation about intelligence the other week that shook me to my core because the way i view intelligence is so wildly different from my friends that i was genuinely confused. i don’t think i’m smart because i’m not academic but that’s simply not true. intelligence comes in many different forms which is very hard to wrap my head around. especially at my age and having been told i’m not smart my whole life. it feels even more relevant at the moment because i’m struggling to do one of the things i’m good at. which sucks. especially being with my family and being reminded of the fact i’m the only creative going into a creative industry whilst everyone else is in their safe secure jobs doing better than me when they’re all younger than me. it’s clear they all quietly think i made a mistake going to uni and leaving my old career behind, but i’m so so glad i did it, even if i’m stuck at the moment.

i really needed to vent. i don’t know how to talk about this to anyone.

i’m a very unmotivated person, partially because my enthusiasm for being alive is so low so why do things to help myself progress in life when i don’t want to live it.

wow this went dark lmao. can someone jump start my battery for me please. no? ok. i’ll figure out how to do it myself some day.

in the words of charli xcx, lets ride.

love,

eucalyptus

#eucalyptus

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ask-obt · 2 years ago

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// wow, that was surprisingly easy!

// well not actually lol

so it turns out my 3DS had some bad luck and decided it didn't want to be modded directly- instead I would either have to reformat it (not happening, I have a lot of downloaded titles I don't want to lose saves for), or backup my saves on a flashcart and then reformat it. so I bought a flashcart with ok reviews on amazon, waited patiently for it to arrive, and it worked...! kind of. well, it was already pre-loaded with modding software that I don't think was what I was looking for- but I also wasn't sure whether or not to try getting it a new SD card for it or if that may potentially brick the dang thing (I have bad luck with bricking things lol). in the end I just decided to use the flashcart as-is and just play it directly on my DSi and just give up on the 3DS modding for now. yeehaw!

I fiddled around in sky temple for a little bit (read: 8 hours) to add little tweaks to the game. mostly adding fairy-type in (using one of the premade ASM patches, I tried learning the coding language for 3 seconds and wanted to explode), and then adding fairy moves and learnsets in by hand using the stats from the mod Explorers of Skies- which seems like a super fun hack! I'd just boot that on the flashcart directly, but I wanted to keep mods for OBT minimal... with one other change, to make milotic's body size 1. because I want eilwyn to hang out with more pokemon pre-postgame than just rune and [partner] :(

working on this though did make me want to attempt one of my own hacks someday! i'd love to implement stuff like: - nuzlocke setting (not sure if there could be a recruitment limit of 1 per dungeon, but I could possibly see there being a way to delete a recruit automatically when they faint) - option to switch hero/partner out mid-playthrough - early unlocked luminous spring (maybe post-future arc?) ... but I also don't know a lot about coding! I'd have to be pretty far ahead in OBT's buffer to fixate on a big learning project like that, hehe. wishful thinking in the meantime! there was also a mighty temptation to change the sprites here into custom OBT sprites, but that would've made this into a MUCH bigger project, and I really should focus on drawing pages since I don't have a buffer atm u,w,u (also also I'm a lil freak that wouldn't want to mix the art style of the game with the art style of my art, so it'd take even longer on account of me trying to emulate the canon style, rip)

this does mean I couldn't really find a way to port the game files for OBT's data directly though, so for now I am settling on starting a new file and playing it to the point current OBT is at, of course keeping recruits and items the same- it'll be a big project, but I'm warming up to the idea of streaming a casual run where y'all can watch me collect a million gummis to give shiny new alolan rune stair sensor. being able to play on-the-go with the hardware is already pretty helpful, since I hate playing games at my laptop haha.

finally, here's a clean screenshot! I also gave her the shiny model, which... is hard to tell because that's just how shiny alolan vulpix is

is rune an alolan culprit ingame?

// she is! or at least, my best approximation of one. see OBT is played on a physical cartridge, with modifications made using ye olde action replay (which boy oh boy I sure hope that never explodes, they're hard to come by nowadays). I use a combination of cheats that can change rune's type, moves, and even abilities to get my closest approximation to alolan vulpix based on a combination of what was available at the time and what would be closest to kantonian vulpix in build (since a lot of pokemon get better movepools in later gens). she very very briefly had snow warning (but no snow veil since it isn't in the game's data), but I quickly found it made the game borderline unplayable since every 3 turns or so, EVERY pokemon currently in the dungeon had to take damage. which takes forever. so she instead has no ability at all. however, the game does have flags to reset pokemon types and abilities, so I always need to reactivate the codes every time I enter a new dungeon... it's a lot of work haha

of course I set all this up before the super cool Sky Temple ROM editor was released! the very talented community has options to include alolan vulpix and fairy-typing in the game, along with many other fun mods. I have considered porting OBT's data from the physical copy into a modded ROM, but I haven't gotten very far haha. the other option is to start with a new file on a ROM and play up to where OBT's gameplay is with items, recruits, levels, etc... which is probably way more work, hehe. though typing this all out, maybe a casual "mimic" playthrough would be good streaming material? that said if you're in the modding scene and would like to baby someone through save porting and/or editing, feel free to hit up my DMs!

#on borrowed time comic #ask-obt #ooc

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goldenkid2 · 5 years ago

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update: the ydyd fanfiction is now nearly 8k words long and went from me being like I think i’ll write everyone’s deaths from ydyd 3 but with more feelings and dramatic licence to a story about a team of people dropped into the wilderness with the distant goal to fight the dragon and the knowledge that not all of them will make it, people dying and everyone having no choice but to carry on even as they become more burdened with grief, the horror of watching people die suddenly in front of you and the knowledge that it doesn’t matter, that you have no choice but to keep going

anyway here’s a couple excerpts (cw death, mild body horror, grief n that)

The day Gavin dug his own grave was the day the commune started to knit itself back together. The gaping wound of loss turned to a scar, and they got back on with their work. The nether portal was boarded up, a rough wall of stones blocking it off on either side, and someone erected a memorial board just behind it. Every day they walked past the blocked portal and the names of the fallen, and every day they inched closer to their goal.

---

They sit silently in the graveyard for a little while, but somehow it’s peaceful, and when Gavin looks at Michael’s grave the hole inside him aches a little less.

‘Trevor told me about this place,’ Fiona says finally. She pauses. ‘He told me about the others too.’

Gavin just nods. He finds that he’s glad—and also a little sad, that Fiona is now burdened with the same ghosts as the rest of them.

‘I’m sorry,’ Fiona says, following his line of sight to Michael’s grave. The way she says it, quiet and sad in the misty morning air, betrays an edge to Fiona that Gavin’s never heard before. He’s used to confusion, bravado, enthusiasm. Not this. Somehow, it makes the apology seem even more sincere.

---

Fiona looks up, away from Trevor’s body, a crumpled heap of armour on the ground but he fell face up and she can see his face, empty with the eyes wide open, still looking, still seeing, and the ragged hole through his chest, blood and muscle and pale twisted ribs, warped by the enderman’s hand and she wonders how much it hurt, in those moments before he died, and knows that her face was the last thing Trevor saw, the thing Trevor died for—

---

Ryan holds the sword in both hands, the blade notched and dull from months of fighting and then repairing. He’s fixed it up as well as he knows how, repaired it countless times, but the blade will never be what it once was. It’s dull and scarred and some part of Ryan—a large part of him—knows that it won’t stand up to this fight. That he won’t either, bruised and exhausted and reeling with fresh grief.

But maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe, as he steps forward and takes a swing at the enderman, Ryan just doesn’t want to see anyone else die.

#i have barely any followers so nobody will see this but i've just been having such a good time writing this and posting a couple excerpts #makes me realise that it's not just crap i churn out for fun u know?#like none of this is edited but...these excerpts aren't bad u know #also GOD i love writing i missed it so much #this past week i've been trying to write every day but also not telling myself what to write #so i can just sit down and write whatever and what my brain craves is #apparently #fahc/minecraft fic #but i wrote this 7k in 3 days and before that 2k and 4k of fahc fics centred on ray #because also apparently i'm fixating on ray atm and he's my fave to write about #until i was seized with the urge to write ydyd fic of course #anyway posting this just for laffs even tho it won't get notes #maybe i should reblog it to my main.....even though that's just a writing blog and nobody knows about ah over there...BUT it'd get notes #probably won't bother i don't write for validation anyway i just like to share stuff to give myself a morale boost

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4dtk · 3 years ago

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hi 🖤 you could write something like sugar daddy? not smut explicit, something like fluff and horny 🖤 pls ! with any nct / wayv member.

ok bestie im going to do this with my fav members (and also those who have sugar daddy feels). reader is in uni like usual! not proofread. let me know if i’ve missed any of the kinks. SO fucking long, enjoy.

also anon i couldn't resist doing nsfw stuff, part of the headcanons too, it's just brief looks into their sex life with reader!

warnings: sugar daddy!au, discussion of kinks like mutual masturbation, eating out/cunnilingus, dacryphilia, oral (f receiving), oral fixation, mirror sex, public sex, quickies, wax play, ice play, bondage, shibari, humiliation, praise, daddy kink, blowjob, deep-throating, double penetration (dp), (consensual) somnophilia, clothed sex, cuckholding, sensory deprivation, overstimulation, gagging, shower sex, phone sex, riding, doggy, spanking (also with a paddle)

members: johnny, doyoung, yuta, jaehyun, jaemin, kun

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI

JOHNNY

lawd this man. i’d say that a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship is lowkey really fun when he wants to be.

even if he’s older and may be out of the loop he still wants to know what the ‘younger’ kids are doing nowadays as if he’s like 30 years older.

he’s not he’s just being dramatic

generous with his money. always tells you it’s just a gift, or it’s reward for you behaving well but he just really likes giving you money.

buys you the craziest gift and shrugs when you ask about it

gets you the prettiest outfits

acts like a kid in public LOL its honestly endearing.

the poor man has so much stress on him from his job that he’s very at ease when you ask to go on a date

if you’re talkative, he’s one to be a bit more quiet in order to hear you vent or just talk about stuff (since he’s pretty talkative too)

but if you’re a little more introverted, he doesn’t mind leading the conversation. just wants to make sure you feel heard, whether you can talk for days or would rather not say a word at all

loves u the way you are :)

tries his best to help you with uni stuff. always distracting you with hands on your body tho, and also a bit confused by your major. he’s trying his best.

would unironically fuck you on a bed full of money, im not kidding

the bank is so suspicious as to why he’s drawing so much money from the atm all at one go but it’s really to just admire you naked on shades of green. the sheets smelled like copper after it was lowkey disgusting

the whole sugar daddy thing would feed into his daddy kink, likes it even in normal circumstances like asking him to buy something for you

“what’s the magic word, princess?”

“please?”

“nuh uh, baby.”

“can i have this, daddy?” you put on your best pout and it doesn’t take long for him to cave tbh

mix between being soft and rough with you in the bedroom. surprisingly, his voice is more levelled and calm when he’s punishing you for being a brat, and when he’s rough it’s more of a softer reason (something like he missed you on his work trip or he got a bit of a scare when you get hurt or stuff like that)

always gives you what you want tho, would tease you for a bit, but like i said he caves easily and just ends up allowing you to cum because he hates to see his baby all worked up

would like stuff like quickies before a meeting, under the table shit. loves your pussy, boosts his ego when you’re writhing under him bc of his tongue and his fingers

the bedroom would mostly involve him giving praise to your cunt lol he’s obsessed. face-sitting, etc. would fucking love mirror sex holy shit (esp when you’re at a event and he can’t control himself, both mirror kink and quickie kink go brrr), clothed sex in his office, lots of praise from him, turned on when you CRY bc he’s making you feel so good. cocky bastard

DOYOUNG

your sugar daddy? or your mom? this man will NOT stop worrying about you

“do you have enough money? need me to give you more? how bout that carnival you were planning to go with your friends? aren’t the tickets and rides super expensive?”

doyoung please calm down your baby has enough cash

really doting sugar daddy! wants your best interest in mind and is the one to set boundaries in the relationship

when you’re getting your allowance, if you need more money etc, he’s usually the one planning for dates as well as choosing the outfits for events he needs to attend

likes more to follow you where you want on dates. doesn’t care much for his own interests when he’s with you. like he’ll go into a store to find suits and stuff but most of the time he’s accompanying you into the shops you want to go to

heart fills with pride when you confidently explain that you’re doyoung’s plus one and lover at events, when you claim that you’re his.

would purposely go to uni so your friends can see you with him lol. pulling up in his sports car and stuff and lean against it outside of campus

you’re like flustered and keep asking why he’s here.

“i’m picking you up for our date.”

“but you aren’t supposed to come until later! i’m not even ready…”

“just wanted to see you, angel. i’ll wait here till you get ready.”

is one to buy you like expensive gifts that he’ll only see. a promise ring, a necklace with his initials, a clutch that you use for events. they’re always really expensive that you never fail to gasp when you take it out of the gift bag. he loves that reaction

gentler dom in private. honestly makes love to you as opposed to rough fucking. there’s times where he comes home stressed and wants to take it out on you. you are NOT against it and yes he does it but is so sweet with aftercare right after.

but most of the time he’s actually pretty gentle and will only transition into a rougher person if you ask for it.

like johnny, he really likes eating you out, but believes that he should get equal treatment. loves to see you taking his dick, in your mouth, up your pussy. when you’re struggling is when he goes crazy. because he’s not forceful most of the time, seeing you deep-throating him really gets him going bc what’s better than your partner wanting to subject themselves to discomfort just to please you?

oral fixation 100%. likes you when you’re sucking on stuff like mentioned above. bonus if there’s drool coming out the sides of your mouth

bc of this he’d love mutual masturbation. more disappointed than mad when you act up, ignores you when you’re asking for him and only shoots you a raised eyebrow. he’s so smitten with you that he has to turn away to hide the smile when you’re begging.

that said, he also likes it when you beg. and like johnny, he’ll give it to you bc he’s just… so in love with you lmao

YUTA

very different when he’s in public vs when he’s with you at home/in private

doesn’t look like it but he’s mushy when he’s with you, always hands on your hips, hands in your hair, legs in his lap

crazy about you

sleeps half naked all the time, so he can feel you closer to him

times with him are always suggestive tbh but yuta likes riling you up in general

it doesn’t always lead to sex, just general make-out sessions and squeezes on your ass etc

that being said, yuta’s genuinely pretty stoic in public, bc he’s got an “image” to keep up that only makes you roll ur eyes

you find it funny sometimes and you live to make him smile slightly when you do something cute on your outings.

makes you hold onto his arm when you have outings, kinda likes the sight tbh. sometimes would hold your hand in the pocket of his coat.

likes to take you out to eat. feels satisfied when you’re eating the things you like whether it’s fast food or dessert

surprisingly really easy to talk to i guess, experienced from his time around the world and learns a lot fo things. has a lot of experience with business in japan so he likes to teach you a bit of the language while drinking at a bar or something. also teaches you the customs in drinking or alcohol games that they do in japan.

likes kissing you in public just to make other people annoyed

also likes to tease you when you’re out

but if it’s the other way? tease him and you’ll get your punishment alright

the fastest way to shut you up is when he threatens to take his black card away

one to make you sit you in his meetings with a vibrator up your cunt. fucking filthy ass

turns up the setting when people are explaining stuff to him at the office. smiles when he sees you twitch and the business partner thinks it’s bc of him

yuta’s nice to at least get the quieter ones tho so don’t worry.

lowkey has a language kink, idk idk. teaches you the lewdest words in public and doesn’t tell you the meaning, asks you to moan it out in the bedroom and he nearly cums from it. he finally tells you what it means after and you whack him after, he only laughs

if u want to rile him up, just use those words and he’ll get insanely hard

sex with him is heavenly. ALSO the type to fuck you in his office/against the window of his office. yum

would have a bit of a kink for public sex, like in a dressing room of a high-end designer store. pays the staff there to keep their mouths shut if their manager asks why there’s underwear in the dressing room.

yuta asked you to walk out the store without underwear :( poor baby :( well too bad yuta doesn’t care

doms most of the time, but likes to see you work for it on his dick. more in private and he leans back and lets you do all the work until you’re begging for him to do the fucking

humiliation is a big yes, using a paddle to spank you is something he would wanna try too

wouldn’t mind some bondage (shibari omfg!!!!!), wax play, ice play, one of the more explorative ones when in the bedroom

JAEHYUN

observant when you want something. either you’re looking at something online or when you stop by a shop’s display case, he’s getting it for you by the next time you meet

very doting on you, always helping you with uni work, helping to solve your friend’s relationship problems LMAO he’s all up in your shit.

not hesitant with affection when he’s showing you off/trying to get someone jealous. ofc his ears will show but he takes pride in handling your ass in public lol

has no patience to deal with people who questions your relationships. would stuff a huge sum of money down their pants just for them to shut the fuck up

he loves you, you love him, what’s more is there to question?

this man keeps wanting to update his wardrobe its lowkey like “uggghh… another designer store???” and he just rolls his eyes at your groans.

it’s funny, but he makes it up to you instantly when he brings you to one of your favourite stores later

mix of doyoung and johnny, believes that there should be equal things in a relationship but at the same time he loves you too much that just HAS to buy you that dress you were whining about

events with him are pretty annoying bc he’s pretty particular about his outfits so your fits always have to match with his. in colour, in brand etc

you always look good by the end of it though so who’s really losing tbh. he has an eye for fashion

likes when you take him to food places he’s never heard of before. doesn’t exactly mind expensive restaurants but likes it when you take the lead in dates and you bring him to where you want to go

i think we established this thru the fandom but this man is obsessed with breeding/creampie-ing you. likes to see it seeping it out of you after he finishes. convinces himself he doesn’t intend to do it but always cums inside

wouldn’t mind toys (kinda like dp, where he’s in you while the toy’s up your ass). would use the toys together with his tongue/fingers to make you absolutely lose it too.

i feel like he would like cuckholding but isn’t one to last to the end LMAO he’s too jealous and competitive for that.

semi-public sex ftw. a hand in your underwear at dinner or fucking yourself back onto his cock under the table as he’s in a meeting, either online or in person

also like yuta, likes seeing you lose it on his dick as he lets you do all the work, only helping you when he finds you’re moving too slow or when you’re getting tired

oh my god also another one to fuck you with cash, just not with the actual cash, but more of the stuff that he buys you. expensive dress, dangling of your bracelet, whew

also SOMNOPHILIA!!! omg (consensual ofc). when you moan quietly in your sleep as he inserts his dick, the unconscious spreading of your legs drives him crazy

JAEMIN

another one who’s generous with his money. wires you cash whenever he wants to or feels like it

shows interest in the course/major you’re studying in and actually does some reading so he can help you with your assignments. kinda like jaehyun but less interested in your personal life

if you want him to know, you’ll tell him, if not he won’t purposely pry into it

a little closer to your age so he understands the stress if you decide to put up an attitude. he’s patient, usually you’ll come back to apologise or offer to go on a date to make it up to him. he coos and gives in immediately, letting you love him in your way that he forgets you were ever mean to him

as for dates, he wouldn’t mind to go anyway but loves taking you to some of his fav cafes. the people in those different cafes know him and he always tips generously, so they usually have a table reserved for the two of you

like johnny, he would let you talk if you’re extroverted, would take the lead if you rather not talk, but at the end of day wants you to be comfortable around him

sometimes doubts himself, idk, whether he’s too young or not giving you enough cash, but you’re always there to reassure him.

would go to uni WITH you just to relive his younger days lmfao. bc he’s younger and looks younger he’d turn heads with questions like “is he a new student… i’ve never seen him before” you just let out a sigh as he giggles

shows you off at events, but is a little possessive. always has an arm around you, or an eye on you.

doesn’t like when people look at you in a sexual light

like i said before in other posts, he’s a gentle dom when he wants to be, but will NOT hesitate to put you in your place if you act up

might take away his black card, reduce the amount of times he’ll take you out, cut down on your allowance whatever

even in the bedroom too, just fucking mean if you decide to be a brat. orgasm denial, the flip side too like overstimulation, gagging, rendering you speechless literally when he fucks your face or makes you cum for the nth time. hair pulling holy shit.

okay but although he isn’t always mean, there’s some days when he still wants to treat you as such, but is softer. letting you breathe in between orgasms, praises you for taking his cock for the nth time instead of just asking you to shut up.

fucks on everywhere but the bed too. on the counters, in the shower, against the wall/floor, carrying you

especially likes the shower. uses the shower head to see your body jerk in sensitivity and he relishes in that.

phone sex is a big thing too, esp when he’s on business trips. wants to hear you when you’re bouncing on a toy as he jerks off in the hotel suite

KUN

another parent-like sugar daddy, although he’s worried about your daily life and whether you’re good at school, with your family.

is another one to also show interest in your course/major. would try his best to help you with your major but his answers are really long-winded so you tune it out after like three sentences LOL

enjoys taking you on dates. they’re usually at night since he likes to work overtime too. poor man is addicted to his work and he’s always busy so he feels weird if he’s laying around doing nothing.

will only leave it alone when you coax him out of his comfy office chair

also one to keep upgrading his closet it’s so annoying. one look from kun though and you’re shutting up because you know what he’ll do. even if you do shut up, he’ll still bring it up later anyway.

unlike jaehyun, he would rather shop for suits so he can ‘keep up with the trends’

like jaehyun, will also put people in their place when they talk about your relationship.

they don’t know shit so he just asks for their number and wires money to them so they can keep quiet. baits them by saying that he’s giving money, but it’s very little. $15 tops. it’s so funny seeing them freak out and get pissed at kun for tricking them, just says “but i never said how much. now keep your fucking trap shut unless you want me to take away your money. i already have your details.” (i know it doesn’t work that way just act like it does.)

mean ass dom. he’s really sweet on the outside but in the bedroom he kinda switches. there’s his good days, but most of the time he’s rough and asking who’s his slut

(you. you are.)

there ARE days where he goes a little gentler. when you’re aching from doing schoolwork or stressed then that’s when he fucks to make you feel better. when you’re fine tho he has no problem breaking you down and making you call out his name like it’s a prayer

boundaries/comfort is VERY important in his book. before you got into the whole ‘mean dom’ dynamic he always asks you if you’re okay with it. if you’re together for a while, he would ask you less and be rougher, but make sure you’re okay after each orgasm.

sensory play/sensory deprivation. blindfolding you is one of his favs. likes it when you jerk in shock bc you don’t know if he’s there or not

pussy. slaps.

spanking!

enjoys cuckholding like its a GAME. calls you a whore for wanting his friends’ cocks and then snatches you back to finish inside of you.

of course this is all done with everyone’s consent, and if you feel uncomfortable you’ll either use the green-yellow-red system or your safe word.

oh my god, also blindfolding AND cuckholding. makes you guess who is he with such a calm voice it scares you. you aren’t sure if he’s even enjoying fucking you bc he speaks so smoothly without a hitch in his voice.

wrong answer and you’re dead LMAO good luck

extremely gentle with aftercare tho. doting on you like doyoung does, draws a bath, changes the sheets if he needs to, brings you a cup of water.

you question him, too, when he hardly reacts/feels almost stoic as he fucks you in a cuckholding situation with his friends that you’re worried he’s become bored with you. he’s so sweet to reassure you that he only does it for the dom role that he’s in, but he truly loves your cunt and how it hugs his cock so well.

not to say that he doesn’t like pillow talk but bc he’s the one doing most of the things to make you comfortable, he rather sit in silence and just trail a hand over your features.

kun will let you talk if you need to, but sometimes you talk so much he finds himself dozing off. he doesn’t mean to! he’s just genuinely tired. even so though, he will try his best to stay awake until you fall asleep. feels safe knowing you’re asleep before succumbing to slumber himself

explicit nsfw under here. go back if you don’t want to read it!

“oh my god-!” your hands tangle itself in his hair, holding it close to your cunt as his skilled tongue works over your clit. it drags up and down the sensitive area, while his fingers thrust deeper and deeper into you with you arousal providing lubrication. it’s dizzying, how your skin heats up so easily with his touch that you’re falling apart at the seams. the silk sheets he has on his queen-sized feel soft against your skin, giving just a bit of comfort in contrast with the squirming that you do. “that’s right baby, let it all go f’r me, pretty.” they groan into your core, increasing the pace of their fingers, continually reaching that spot that it sends shivers up your whole body as he hums and laps up at your slick. “so sweet.”

— JOHNNY, DOYOUNG

“that’s right, lovely, fuck yourself with my cock,” he only groans softly, briefly checking if his microphone is off. he sneaks a glance under his table where you’re currently moving your hips onto him, on all fours as someone in the finance department goes off onto something he deems boring. biting his lip, he can see how you turn your head back to meet his eyes from below, face morphed into pleasure that all you can manage is a pathetic lolled tongue while your eyes roll back. he wished you went faster, though, snapping finally when the finance director’s speech reaches an all-time boring state. kicking away his chair, he leans on the table for support and pumps his hips into you. “oohhh fuck- mmfng, uh uh!” is all you can manage, not caring for how your head bangs against the front covering of the table as he fucks into you with impatience.

— YUTA, JAEHYUN

your head’s pushed into the pillow, mushing up against your head as it soaks up all the sweat that forms on your forehead. you’re whining into the sheets as he continues to pound into you, roughness through the rough. you love it, though. “who’s making you feel this good, whore?” you can’t even answer, distracted by the squelching noises of your dripping cunt that it makes you squeeze your eyes tight. “look at me when you’re being fucked. want to be blindfolded again?” he pulls on your hair from the back, forcing your head into an uncomfortable position to see how his cock goes in and out of you. with your head turned to the side, he kisses you messily, sloppily, and one last deep thrust has your body spasming from the immense pleasure. you can’t return the kiss, moaning instead into the other’s mouth while your back arches to feel every inch of his cock.

— JAEMIN, KUN

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dangermousie · 3 years ago

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CFC Chapter 54

“A crashing car?” Ahahahaha I see you, Meatbun. But it was indeed an utter pileup!

I know I commented on this passage in its various iterations eight billion times already but I still have more to say. And it’s that XQC taking so long to realize that even though HY is young, his emotions and feelings are as genuine and strong as those of anyone older is so realistic - people do tend to think that especially with regard to children - think of a reaction of an adult to a three year old crying over ice cream they dropped. It’s all amused even if not meanly so. Because to an adult with vastly more experience, this is not a big deal. But what that forgets is that whether it’s ridiculous to someone else or not, to the person at issue that is a real feeling, AND that of course a person can only feel through the lens of their experience - what else is there? Emotions aren’t any less valid because they are informed by lesser or different experience.

Honestly, to me so far this is one of the driving messages of the novel - everyone is in their own world of issues and pain and none of these characters can truly look through the lens of another person and it would be so much better if they did. To XQC, for so long, He Yu’s strong feelings (and we know so many of these feelings are awful - despair, and self-loathing, and loneliness) never quite felt real and therefore never quite felt fully valid. And by the time it wasn’t the case, it was too late.

But the same is true for He Yu - he is so concentrated on his own grievances and his own pain, he cannot perceive others’ different issues. In He Yu’s mind, he’s the winner and always champion of Misery Olympics and while he’s had a horrible time of it, that doesn’t mean other people didn’t either just in different ways. Whether because of his condition, his issues or just his age, HY is not empathetic in the least.

And think about it - XQC does not have a horrible illness. He does not have unfeeling parents. But he had to watch his beloved parents brutally murdered in front of his eyes at 13 (!!!!) and then had to raise a 5 year old by himself. Is it worse or better than HY’s trauma? That’s a matter of opinion but what there is no question about is that is a different type of trauma and a different type of scar. Or think about the patient in the asylum whose name I am too lazy to look up - her life is such a theater of horrors that to me, it makes the combined issues of HY and XQC seem small, though once again that’s subjective. Nobody wins when people start this sort of competition.

My heart breaks for XQC but also - I am sorry - if/when HY x XQC hook up again (how? I have no idea! But that is one of the joys of Meatbun - I both have no idea how/where it’s going and utterly trust her), please have He Yu read up and learn things because Good God. You should not be in major pain the morning after unless you are into pain and XQC clearly is not!

The other thing is the bit about XQC forcing himself to walk in his usual ramrod-straight manner is the moment I went utterly gone for him. I mean, I liked him and found him interesting before. But this is the thing that flipped that invisible switch for me and I went rabid and irrational and now I am Team XQC and I don’t care what he wants and does from now on, he should have it. It’s so small but so real. My mother and her mother were both big on straight posture. And one of the reasons they gave was when you walk with good posture - you look confident but also it makes you feel confident and stronger. And I’ve actually found it to be true - when you throw your shoulders back and straighten your neck and hold your head up, it does not just give others a signal, it gives a signal to your own brain. So to see XQC insist on doing it, despite being emotionally and physically shattered - because of his pride refusing to give up, because he’s so unbending, but also this being some sort of instinctive armor, just hits straight through the heart.

OK, I laughed at HY as a fucking machine. But also, this is another point in the whole “everyone has issues” narrative and HY’s life could be worse. HY, with all his other issues, can pay an insane amount, an amount that XQC could not pay in a million years, so easily. It’s not even a blip to him. Hell, the fact that he forgot to pay speaks to that - I can see forgetting to pay a friend a couple of bucks back right away because it’s not much money. HY forgets because it does not loom in his mind. And this rich lifestyle is instinctive, is ingrained in him. I think he’d find it hard to be poor.

THAT is what he’s thinking about? Priorities are...

The sole good thing that came out of this insanity is that XQC is getting in touch with his emotions, even if those emotions are (rightly) rage. He’s too closed off from them normally.

The fact that you slept with a man should be secondary to the fact that you drugged and raped him, but here we are...

To me, this sums up He Yu as a moral wasteland. To still, when sober and past his fit and not under influence of wine, to still feel excitement over his revenge and to somehow twist it that it’s XQC’s fault for being raped by He Yu is !!!!!!!!!

(I suppose if I were charitable, I’d assume that the disquiet is small stirrings of almost dead conscience and his “he deserved it” is an attempt to justify the unjustifiable to himself, but I honestly don’t want to think so because I am so angry at him. Not until I see some more evidence. I don’t feel like being indulgent with He Yu since he’s indulgent with himself enough for two.)

1. The fact that you can tell from the picture XQC got taken by a man (I am gonna defer to Meatbun’s expertise here) definitely points to the fact that the pictures are going to be used for something bad later - because if it’s just oh XQC had sex, so what, he’s single what’s the big deal. But like this it becomes a different matter. No idea if it will be used for HY or XQC or both, and by whom (money is on Duan and co, but after the way HY went off, I would never say HY himself won’t use it badly somehow) but knowing Meatbun, it will go for maximum damage.

2. Ruthless? Perhaps. Unfeeling? Hmmmm. I am not He Yu’s biggest fan atm but that’s a wonderfully misleading adjective here. He does still seem to be in shock. And fixating.

3. The whole “hahahaha XQC is a hypocrite when he was all ‘I am not interested in sex’“ is - I am not sure if HY is just short-circuiting (fine) or using a rapist justification/rolling in a sea of toxic toxicity (not fine) because I am sorry, that’s totally like “he/she had a reaction, can’t be rape” writ large. Yeah, sure he had a reaction - you poured drugs down his throat. That has nothing to do with his default preferences or his actual state. THE FUCK?!

Anyway, we end on the whole “u mad bro?” bit and you know what strikes me? HY was all “I am done, we are done, my revenge is complete I don’t care” but here he is, still desperately seeking and craving reaction and interaction from XQC.

I remain utterly puzzled as to how these two will ever be a couple except for a couple being defined as “two mutually homicidal people.” Leaving aside everything else, I am willing to accept HY is in the closet - clearly whatever his orientation is, it includes men. But I do not get that sense from XQC at all. When he’s not drugged, he’s barely interested in sex with anyone and I do not get the sense he’s in the closet either. Chances of anyone, let alone He Yu, who is both a man and someone who raped him to humiliate him, being able to entice him into sexual encounters voluntarily is about the chance of me going to visit Mars. Meatbun loves doing insane things so I can’t wait.

PS I know people use the term psychopath all the time casually but ummm, I think He Yu may actually be one? When he has his father (!!!) on speakerphone, calmly carrying a conversation with the man as he’s raping his father’s friend in the club as he talks (!!!!!) that is...in RL I’d be “team lock him up for life, there is something so basic broken in him that it can’t be fixed.” Like - the hell? The ability to put things on different shelves so much is not in the same country as sane (it makes me think of 2ha and TXJ banging CWN being the curtain while performing court business but TXJ was bona fide clinically insane and also this is worse because this is his actual freaking father omg.) Of course, only time will tell whether it’s evidence of him being irreparably incapable of normalcy in terms of living in the world/interacting with others or it was an extreme psychotic (in casual parlance not medical one) break because most people are capable of truly horrific stuff if certain levers are pushed and his default is saner. It’s the question, isn’t it? Whether He Yu’s factory default setting is the monster of the previous chapters or the kid who’d cut his wrists so as not to hurt others.

Anyway, this novel is a terrifying roller coaster ride and I love having strong emotions.

#cnovel #meatbun doesn't eat meat #case file compendium

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habitatimagines · 5 years ago

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jafxkljslofajwlfj,, ok so habit x reader but his s/o has some BIG fangs. I'm talking like MEGA teeths my dude; the reader has LITERAL ROWS OF SHARP CANINES... but they look so sweet otherwise.

Ohoho yes. Anon I love the way you think.

Tad bit unrelated but it makes me think of that one comic where fk had these sharp chompers and Habit was like “plz don’t bite me” but they bit him anyway. I can’t find the post but I’ll hunt for it and reblog it because it’s funny. Anyways shehegwhwg on with the hcs

🦷 Habit with an s/o who has REALLY sharp teeth 🦷

🦷- So Habit had heard that you had sharp teeth but he didn’t want to be rude and ask. Part of him almost didn’t want to believe it since you’re so,,sweet. It was hard to imagine you with large sharp teeth

🦷- Also he’s become a little uncomfortable (I don’t think that’s the word I’m looking for but it’s the only one that can come to mind atm.) around teeth because of his history with them. He still has a oral fixation but like?? He feels more guilty for it now.

🦷- He’s felt them before when you two kissed a few times but he didn’t mention it.

🦷- Finally he brings up the courage to ask.

🦷- “U-Uhm...anon..if it isn’t too much trouble could I...see your teeth”

🦷- This mans face is so fuckin red right now he’s never been so excited but so worried of a reaction in his life

🦷- So you warned him but he insisted you let him see

🦷- So you did and needless to say he was 😳

🦷- Wow. Those are some sharp chompers. Really huge too. He wouldn’t have expected such large teeth to be on someone who looks so harmless.

🦷- Is he intimidated? Possibly. Does he like them? Absolutely.

🦷- He has to kind of compose himself after he sees them and tells you they look nice.

🦷- Kissing him makes him a little bit more nervous and flustered now. Especially if the kisses are more passionate.

🦷- He’d definitely give you a shark related nickname to tease you sometimes?? Like “Little shark”, “Sharkie”, he’d call you these in either English or his Mother tongue, depends on how he feels.

🦷- He tries to hide his excitement about them but you eventually catch on that he’s liking it way more than what he’s letting on.

🦷- So help this man if you tease him, you know he likes them and he blushes easily.

#sfm #headcannons #headcanons #imagines #habit #dr habit #sfm boris habit #sfm habit #habit x reader #boris x reader #smile for me game #smile for me #x reader #sharp teeth #smile for me dr habit #boris habit #boris #request

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straighttohellbuddy · 4 years ago

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🥺🧡 Im gonna send a snippet in my next ask!! Also I’m cool w/you posting it. If anything it might actually give me the push bc I have ideas!!! but most ppl I often scream abt ideas with are in different fandoms and they’re not too keen on corpse so it’s low-key awkward but my fixation does not let me rest lmao. I have been working on a playlist for the fic tho and I’m trying to group it in order of kinda progression in the fic if that makes sense? but atm the current playlist is just jumbled mess. STOP THATS SO COOL omg pls find a way for it to come up as a discussion point between reader and corpse bc that kinda stuff makes the dopamine HIT. I am excited for this music adventure n I hope life helps you find the right people to work with on that!!! -🐈‍⬛

I LOVED THE SNIPPET DUDE!! also i definitely feel ya on the ‘friends in different fandoms aren’t too keen on corpse/yt’ hence why i have a wholeass YT sideblog. cannot BELIEVE corpse revived my yt blog. my older posts are SO INCREDIBLY EMBARRASSING it was from 2014. someone liked a gifset of eef from idk how long ago where i was relentlessly thirsting in the tags, like, NO past me, you’ve got gender envy and an aesthetic attraction, but you are a Fucking NB Lesbian please calm down. but that’s a whole other thing.

i’ve got too many playlists for this fic specifically, cos i have the album ones, but i also have the sykkuno and y/n vibes one, and also the full fic playlist that’s just the vibes for the playlist, which is so jumbled rn but i also definitely know what you mean abt chronological order for the songs relating to the fic, i do that with all my fic-specific playlists

side note, a list of songs you definitely shouldn’t think about in the context of angel!corpse/demon!reader:

Take Me To Church - Hozier (for obvious reasons, but it makes me yell when considering that they almost definitely think it about the other, if that makes sense??)

Saint Bernard - Lincoln (im going to go feral)

Crave You (Original) & (Adventure Club Remix) - Flight Facilities (the remix is much more the vibe im going for, but also the original has some lyrics that hurt my little rabbit heart. if this ain’t the reader idk what is;

there’s more but i don’t have them on hand rn.

yesssss so i’ve just started on the reader working on a song abt corpse, even though they haven’t really spoken, because things have kind of changed and ive got more of a story arc than i did before, but it makes sense. y/n needs a rest. badly.

also welcome to wildly unrealistic things i think about that won’t happen in the fic, but that i literally cannot get out of my mind because of the aesthetic of it all. (and if ur sick abt me talking abt billie eilish in relation to this fic i’d scroll on now im sorry but her musical aesthetic is what i want my soul to look like)

so i go back and forth abt the reader telling the world that they’re a demon, on the one hand, that’s their business and the world can get fucked, it needs to learn respect and boundaries, on the OTHER HAND there are so many ways that they could?? the one that lives rent free in my head is while performing live, at a festival. SPECIFICALLY (the theatrics, ladies and gentlemen, and those of us who know better, the theatrics) i have this idea of them joining Billie Eilish on stage during her set, since they’ve collabed before and they’ve worked this all out, (if it doesn’t load properly, bcos its a 7 min video, the bit im thinking of starts at 6:11)

youtube

so it’s bury a friend, with this whole semi-choreographed duet thing, so the lyrics become kind of a conversation, and the reader’s kind of playing this confident, antagonistic character on stage as they both jump around, and duck and chase, but they get to that bit, to the second chorus, and y/n steps up behind billie so they can rest their chin on her shoulder, and y/n has their eyes closed and is mouthing the words, but their microphone is lowered, and billie’s the one singing

Step on the glass, staple your tongue (Ahh-ha) Bury a friend, try to wake up (Ahh-ha) Cannibal class, killin' the son (Ahh)

but, BUT, Billie gives this pleased little knowing smile, which the cameras that are getting close ups catch, and projecting them on the screens either side of the stage, and Billie moves the microphone so y/n can say the- Bury a friend - as their eyes open to show of their demon eyes and this wicked smile, and the - I wanna end me - is said as the crowd is GOING OFF and the bass drops, and y/n reveals their wings as the lights and screen behind them are strobing and going off behind them, creating the silhouette of these gigantic black, iridescent, feathered wings, and it’s so bright people can’t be quite sure if what they’re seeing is right, but then billie steps away from y/n as the lights flood the stage with red and everyone can see them with their arms out, like royalty, confident and intimidating and incredible, and billie’s laughing her fucking head off, delighted, before they both get into the final bit of the song, even though the music can barely be heard over the crowd at this point.

like i said, SUPER unrealistic and mostly just for aesthetic and will not be what happens, but the image in my head is very cool so i had to talk abt it. thank u.

#your local homosexual with no chill #black cat anon #Anonymous

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eroticcannibal · 4 years ago

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Bananon here, & oh gosh, big same on the gentle dehumanization angle. Ive got so much 'Ur smart & capable & just not living up to ur full potential' style trauma, being diagnosed as autistic was like a rapid spiral from 'Slow & simple & special needs r bad terms n I dont like them' to 'Actually yes plz to all of those, but like, extra syrupy sweet & condescending.' Like how u talk to rly stupid cats. Tell me Im cute & silly & talk to/abt me like I cant understand u, fuck. Major bonus (1of3)

points for babying/littlespace types angles, altho kittenplay works too. Just wanna b coddled n spoiled n shit. Treated like Im completely helpless & dependent, or better yet, /made to be/. Never left alone for more than a second, no doors allowed to b shut, no unsupervised internet access, etc. Maybe taken advantage of sumtimes, but like, gently, w/ lots of reassurance. Like how u would give a pet medicine. Like u kno its scary, but its ok, Im safe, I need it for my own good. All cooing & (2of3

comforting & shit. My main fandom atm is v creaturey, so Im v fixated on like, being in heat type concepts with that. Also I saw I maybe missed a weird foods hour, so I contribute late, cheddar cheese sticks w/ peanut butter, & pan fried quesadillas w/ salami, dipped in mayo & honey mustard. Take ur pick. (Also can confirm, am not u sending urself messages lol. If nothing else, ur kinks r way more hardcore than mine. Which is rly v validating on that 'Am baby' from tbh.) (3of3)

honestly now i think about it i wonder if that’s why im so into subby shit and being controlled???? hmmmm this is genuinely facsinating

also the cheese sticks and peanut butter??? NOT VALID. the other sounds good tho

#kink hour

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

Text

April 20th-April 26th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 20th, 2020 to April 26th, 2020. The chat focused on Only In Your Dreams! by Tuyetnhi Pham.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Only In Your Dreams! by Tuyetnhi Pham~! (http://oiydcomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until April 26th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

5. I like how distinctive the character designs are! The mcs are both very unique and recognizable

8. It doesn't take itself too seriously, but it also explores some real neat concepts

the story is full of personality

carcarchu

the comic's not loading for me shakes fist at wifi, gonna try again tomorrow but i just wanted to say the look of the site is really cute!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Got the chance to read it So here are some of my thoughts: 1. I like the romantic atmosphere that the comic starts off with warm colours and it gives a vacation ad sensation? 2. My favourite moment is in the pink strange dream world, the colours contrast to the reality of Cara. 4. Fave moment: When that mystery guy shows up and he had corny lines like a romantic parody. It seem so fantastical. 5. I like the colour palette choice of brown tones, shades of pinks. 6. I think the theme is about expectations (it's not clear atm), how Cara is distancing from real relationships and prefer to indulge. 7: I like how the creator shows Cara looking scared of confronting things. It sets an interesting tone of uncertainty. Is she hiding something?(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'm super curious about the situation of Cara not remembering her past dreams with Richie, and how that ties into the theme.

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

1. I like how I don’t know what to expect. I also like how the premise is relateable; the idea that you are scared of imperfection making you have high standards in life hit close. 2) Every single time we’re treated to....Tuyetnhi’s lovely use of expression. Also the end part of episode 2, because that’s when I realized it’s going to get dark. 3) A tie between Ana and Richie. Ana because she makes me laugh with her blunt assertions (which...aren’t wrong) and Richie because he’s so flamboyant and extra. I love how much personality they all have. 4) Hands down Richie and Cara. They have a really hilarious dynamic going on. 6) The idea that people seek perfection through their dreams instead of facing reality. Also I really liked how it tackles society’s fixation on everyone to find someone....maybe Cara doesn’t need that and needs to focus on herself first? 7) That I won’t know what to expect. I came into this thinking it was going to be a classic romcom, and then I get hit with implicit horror and trippyness. I have a feeling Tuyetnhi is hinting at some darker aspects of the story we have yet to see. 8) Good lord the expressions. They really do the story justice and make me turn the page every time. Also the colours are beautiful.(edited)

(Whoops sorry keiiii)

7) two moments actually!

The fact that their wide eyed sweaty expressions matched made me laugh really hard

And also Cara’s quick acceptance of the situation was so unexpected and hilarious I took a double take. Also props to the colour dissonance; that looks like meme material right there!

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah. I want to make it clear that Cara is like "This is really not my day." lol

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Well....you portrayed that sentiment perfectly

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Omg yes the wide eyed expressions were also making me laugh! Well that was an expression I didn't expect coming into the story(edited)

I was wondering if that was suppose to be serious or humorous?

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

both LOL

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I see the horror you got going there Tuyetnhi Reminds me of...I dunno Jojo?

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

well............ yes and no lol

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

But I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen

Although...if we’re going by the silhouette....is she scared of herself?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I like that sense of not knowing what's happening? :)(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

that will be coming up in Ch. 3 soon

so please wait till then thank u lol

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

So far it's tough to choose a fave character right now since I feel the story has just started its first segment. I would like to wait until more content is shown before I can make a firm choice? (I'm analytical, I like to go over OCs flaws and strengths once I know more about them)(edited)

I'm curious to learn about her ex crush, since we only get a glimpse of how Cara precieve him. But what is Dean really like? *Drum rolls(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

you got.... good questions

it will be rewarded.... later on LOL

mariah (rainy day dreams)

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? I really liked the colors and island vibe. And this was even before Animal Crossing came out and I started hardcore living that island life I just love a good, soft pink to purple gradient generally speaking so the opening of the story was like falling into a comfy brain pillow for me. 2-4 I'm just gonna answer these ones kind of all together because they thoughts on then are all kind of threaded together into one big thought. After having read through the archive I really liked the scene with Ana and Cara. When I first read it I was like "dang, she's giving Cara such a hard time," but after having read the scenes where Cara just refused to admit to Richie she doesn't know what's going on I really retroactively appreciated Ana's willingness to call Cara on her bullshit XD I think it's a really good foil trait to have for a protagonist who seems dead set on avoiding confrontation even though it seems like doing so is most likely just gonna come back to bite her later. I imagine we aren't going to see Ana for a while though unless Cara is able to use her Phone A Friend card in the dream realm XD I am also looking forward to seeing more of the Cara doppelganger and how she and Cara interact with each other going forward. That feels like an exciting and drama filled mystery

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? I also love the atmosphere. The color choices are just so beautiful. 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? Ana pointing out Cara's BS hahahaha. 3. Who is your favorite character? Definitely Ana. She's so down-to-earth from what I can tell, someone I'd want to be friends with. 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most? Probably Ana and Cara. I like to see good friendships depicted, especially in a romance. 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! In general, everything is so soft and pretty. I also really appreciate the fact that all the characters have larger noses. If I had a favorite panel, it would be at the beginning, the sunset beach waves. 6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores? So far, I'm not sure about themes, but I like the talk about the pressure parents give to their children to get married. 7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content? There's a lot of mystery, so I'm looking forward to learning about Cara's dreams, Richie, and the key. 8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are? The visuals are really nice. I can't stop gushing about the color choices and the pretty atmosphere.(edited)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

The way Cronaj sums up their thoughts on OiYD, I'm agreeing with the statement on Ana and Cara! Esp friendship part

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'll answer the questions hopefully later this week, but this song reminded me of the comic!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4z5ecLCvSQ(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

@Deo101 [Millennium] damn that’s a good song

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Oooo

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

He's definitely hot and extra

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

lmao

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

My joke idea is that Cara is secretly in a reality show starring Richie and her and the bonds they play out is meant for a live broadcast. But she's clearly not agreeing to this(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oh god. i don't think that's good for Cara's mental state lmao

Feather J. Fern

Also I have to say, I do love how the first cover is literally Cara being the meme of "Oh no he's hot"

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

fjdkalfdjdklfj

Feather J. Fern

Also I finally started it, while a bit late, I have to relate to Cara being an accountant.

Also I think my favourite panel is "Welp that worked"

Also I have to appreciate picking a pink that doesn't grate on the eyes.

https://gyazo.com/71fe22ea6ac2ebf6b3d85531c66bf8ed Another really good panel

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I enjoyed making that one LOL

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

that face is one of my favourites not gonna lie

Feather J. Fern

I really like the surrealness of the story, can't wait to see what happens next

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

same! I feel like something is about to happen

I'm also wondering how Richie would react to the real world

like....the ex. And her parents.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

soon™️

Feather J. Fern

More like everyone reacting to Richie XD

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Yeah pretty much

Like can Richie handle the world?

More like

Can the world handle RICHIE

RebelVampire

I like that the beginning really contrasts the dream and Cara's reality pretty quickly. I kind of feel it catches that feeling of coming out of a dream to face reality which kind of sucks, and also plays into the themes of dream vs. reality and expectation vs. reality. It's very easy to idealize things, whether as a route of escapism or just because it sounds appealing. But the reality of things generally is always different, and I like that we're seeing this full force in the comic through Cara's perspective. And the contrasts between the two really enhance those topics. My favorite moment in the comic so far is probably when Cara meets what I assume is Dean. Cause I really loved that both parties were kind of at fault, and I also liked how quickly that convo devolved into a grumpfest, because that felt very realistic. My favorite character right now is definitely Richie, because he is ridiculous and sympathetic at the same time. I adore his exaggerated personality, while at the same time feel sorry for him since for him the memories are clearly there and like...I would not want to be in the shoes of someone where the person they loved no longer remembered them. As for character interacting the most, Cara and Richie because that entire premise of one person remembering and the other not makes for a really tense and awkward situation. It's hard to tell where it's going to go. What I like about the art is the palettes of color chosen, since there's some beautiful scenery as well as fantastic contrasts when needed to make certain moments pop (like dream vs. reality).

As for the story content, what I actually like the most is that Cara is a flawed protagonist. I've read a lot of stories where the protagonist is always 100% right in the relationship and is just eternally the victim because society pressure. But Cara has a lot more going on, since she's clearly been at fault in some interactions, and while we can sympathize with people pressuring her into relationships, she also maybe takes it too far by being avoidant of basically every relationship. However, since she has these traits, I'm more invested into her personal dilemmas since she'll actually make mistakes when dealing with stuff. Which I think this is the overall strength of the comic. Cara is just a damn good protagonist who is easily likeable but isn't perfect and whose imperfections are not just brushed off so easily.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

;_; .... thank you.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I love the story so far! When I first started, I figured it would be some sort of awkward story where Richie comes into the real world and he has to figure out how to, like, act natural, and hilarity ensues. But holy cow, Cara losing her memories, and the slide into somewhat of a horror angle - it's not something I expected (though admittedly I could have read the synopsis lol), but it's definitely something I like!(edited)

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Do you think the people around Cara were right to try and pressure her into a relationship? Overall, what do you think the comic has to say about relationships and the themes regarding relationship pressure?

10. Is what Cara experiencing dream or reality, and where is the line between them in this case? Additionally, why do you think her dreams have the potential to become reality as opposed to other people? Also, what is the overall message underlying these themes?

11. Is Richie really just a dream Cara dreamt up, or is there something more to him? If he somehow makes it to Cara’s world, do you think he’ll be able to adjust to that reality? Also, can he win Cara over?

12. What do you think the Cara imposter is about, and what does this have to do with the entire situation? Do you think Cara will eventually remember her dreams? Lastly, what do you think Cara has in store for her as the story continues?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

9. I personally don’t think it was great of the people in Cara’s life to pressure her like that. Sure, they mean well, but it’s most likely bringing Cara’s self esteem down by a lot. I have a feeling that her dreams/reality colliding together is partially motivated by that; the pressure of pleasing society has made her....subconsciously take drastic measures?

10. I’m actually not sure! Maybe there’s a supernatural explanation to it, or it could all just be a dream. Dreams have a way of showing a person’s innermost desires or fears, so maybe Cara’s desires and fears are coming alive in response to external stress factors. So perhaps she opened a portal of sorts between the realms in some way (there’s a key!!!!).

11. Oh I’m thinking they might end up together. But the realist inside me thinks...perhaps what Cara needs isn’t romantic love, but more independent love and being able to love herself. What DOES worry me, however, is the fact that Richie seems...a bit desperate for Cara to like him. Is there a condition to his love after all? If so, that means that it’s possible he’s forced in some way to love her or make her love him. And that’s not really conducive to romance, is it?

12. Ah...the thing that makes me mystified the most. Cara seems to have a negative view of herself, since she told her to get out in the end of chapter two. However, Cara #2 seems to be pretty helpful; knocking on the door to tell her to get out of the house (which Richie has her in), so in a way letting her out. While our Cara seems to dislike her a lot, I think the key to the story would be our Cara needing to accept this double Cara to be really free. Maybe she will, maybe she won’t! But from what I can see from the story and like I’ve said earlier...maybe Cara needs to be able to find love within herself. Love for that Cara double, and enough love to become independent and not bend to society’s overwhelming pressure for outside romance. I hope she finds that as the story comes along, and know that it’s okay to not be ready for love.

As for Richie...hmm. He’s dealing with an amnesiac heroine, and adjusting to the real world. I’m sure it’s going to lead to some hilarious hijinks, but hopefully he can manage! He seems up to the task

RebelVampire

I think whether people were right to pressure Cara is a tricky gray area. On the one hand, no, they were wrong. Nobody should be forced into a relationship. But on the other hand, if you know a person is actively self-sabotaging, isn't it more correct to speak up? So to me this is maybe a situation of good intentions with bad execution. However, I do think overall the comic does say pressuring people into relationships sucks and plz don't do that cause that's how you make ppl run further away. I think it's both, because a dream is reality in a sense. I think many of us have had dreams that caused real emotional affects, whether negative or positive. So the line between them is merely the fact effects are limited. Cara have may have just found a way to cross that line and make a dream a tangible thing that has more consequences. As for why her dreams, I don't know. Maybe she's just super good at dreaming. I do think as the overall message though is that dreams are good but not when we get lost in them, because then we idealize and reject "reality" in ways that aren't healthy. I do think Richie is primarily something Cara dreamt up, but kind of not maybe. Like sure maybe Cara is idea creator, but something else was involved in making the physical reality of that idea. As for Richie adjusting to Cara's world, I'm sure it will be laughably hilarious. I do think he can sort of win Cara over, at least in the sense of being friends. Cause how can you hate Richie? I'm taking a shot in the dark and saying Cara imposter is the embodiment of Cara's missing memories but since they're just memories, all they can do is imitate. As for Cara remembering, I feel like it will be yes but I kind of want it to be no. I like the idea of them having to reform a relationship entire from scratch.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Oo good impressions! I wish I have more to say but it would affect the story LOL. Enjoyed reading everyone's theories tho!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Ok my turn, let's see what my head theories are: 9: I felt the same annoyance as Cara but it's a mixed feeling, Even though, people shouldn't pressure a lady on her love life, she also has a problem with being in relationships. Or I remember one quote from the story was how she 'ditched her dates by rushing to the bathroom.' although I don't know her circumstance, I do know she has issues to settle too. Relationship pressure is real, especially as a young person grows older. 10. From the comic visuals, it feels much like it's her escapism dream. The only clue I got, is that her holding a literal 'key' connecting both worlds, is evidence that both world could collide. So far, we haven't seen other people's dreams, or whether this is an unusual occurrence in the world? It seems to be a message about idealistic relationships. Since Cara seem to turn away real ones, it manifested? 11. I'm curious about Richie's character too. He seems like a powerful imagination, enough to sway the lead, so he's more than a simple figment. I wonder if his submissive, flirtatious (?) personality was build in him. He doesn't seem to have a 'life' outside his dream house, or so far. 12. I'm not sure whether the 'Other Cara' might be trying to help her or is that.. actually a shadow side? I don't want to say too much, but it's interesting to see where the story goes.(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh! You make a good point about Richie; I never thought about that! Do you think maybe he's simply a part of Cara and eventually gains his own sentience/personality?

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Hehe I like analyzing dreams :3 In dream theory, I feel he could be? I was more skeptical whether he should be treated as a real character or something else.(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

man this does make me want to look up dream psychology

i have a feeling...Tuyetnhi is using some theories from that

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Hmmmm dream psychology you say?

I guess you can say there's some elements of that, but it's not a major chunk of it if that makes sense lol

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

13. Maintaining the will power to finish OIYD! so I can see it as its end lmao. As a passion project but also something that I want to invest in when I have the time, I hope ya'll looking forward in reading Ch. 3 very soon lol.

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

13. I really want to see how both Cara and Richie will develop as characters. Whether Cara will figure out for herself what being both independent means....and whether she does want a relationship for herself and not for other people. Likewise with Richie, I want to see if he'll be able to be his own person...and whether he's real or not. I have a lot of questions that I want to be answered, and I can't wait to keep reading.

14. Tuyetnhi, good luck on the webcomic. It's hard to start one and even harder to pull off a good one, and I know yours is a good one. I really look forward to reading more from you. You're amazing (edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

thank you

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

13. I'm interested in learning more about Cara's conflicts, why she is hesitant about having a real relationship vs her dream one? I love the unexpected dark twist that the story seems to be going. 14. I want to say, no pressure and take your time to complete the chapter. Just know you have my support and willing to read when it is ready. Good luck

RebelVampire

I'm looking forward to more Richie being Richie. Because he is an adorable person. And also because I'm waiting for some 'reality' culture shock. My final words are that this comic has a strong themes game going on and an intriguing premise, so it'll be fun to see where the comic is in a few more chapters since I'm pretty sure we're in for a wild ride.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Only In Your Dreams! this week! Please also give a special thank you to Tuyetnhi Pham for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Only In Your Dreams!, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://oiydcomic.com/

Tuyetnhi’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/oiydcomic

Tuyetnhi’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/tuyetnhip

Tuyetnhi’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/tuyetnhip

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