#can this count as a serennedy week submission????? actually yk what the event is just for fun this can fit the domestic prompt right!!!!

[wisecrackingeric-2]

@courtofparrots @kingflups I decided to combine both of your results (23- a kiss while drunk and 42- a kiss out of spite) into one big stupid fic that I absolutely ADORE for no good reason so I hope you enjoy!!!!! :DDD

Fic under cut!!

“I-“

Leon stumbled into the side of the door, nearly dropping the empty glass he clutched in his hand onto the nice new mahogany floor he’d insisted on buying.

“Am not drunk”

“Suuuuuuuure,”

Luis had to hold back his giggles like his life depended on it as he gently took the glass out of Leon’s hand, placing it on the kitchen bench nearby. It was almost adorable, he had to admit- the way Leon was so stubborn in insisting that he wasn’t drunk. Which he so, so obviously was. He probably wouldn’t have even been so insistent if it weren’t for Luis relentlessly teasing him about his taste in alcohol- but he couldn’t help it, alright! American’s just had bad taste!!

“And I’m the reincarnation of Miguel De Cervantes in the flesh.”

“Nah,”

Leon shook his head and tumbled his way to the kitchen counter, sluggishly pulling up a chair opposite to Luis. Who, in return, leaned over the marble with his chin rested in the palm of his hand; a patient, languid expression and small smile on his face.

“C-Cervantes was ugly. You’re waaaaaaay hotter than that guy”

“O-Oh??”

Luis’ smile broadened and his eyes crinkled with curiosity. That familiar, gut-deep warmth that always came in tandem with Leon’s compliments cursed his chest once again- even while knowing he was piss-drink, Luis still wasn’t immune to his praise.

“How so, if I may ask, my dear Sancho?”

“Well for one thing,”

Leon dramatically put one hand up in the air,

“He was ooooooold. Like, hundreds of years old”

“Maybe he is now…”

“And two,” Leon raised his other hand,

“He, like, sat in his room and wrote books all day. Like, who does that?! Who writes books all day?? Eugh!!”

Luis had to bite his lip to keep himself from devolving into uncontrollable laughter, tears already pricking the corners of his eyes as he watched Leon fake-gag.

“O-Okay!! He’s old and had hobbies! Understood! I’ll avoid all those things, I guess…”

“AND number threeeeeee!!!”

Leon slammed his hands down on the counter, leaning into Luis’ space a little bit.

“You kiss booooooyyyyssss…”

Luis made the most atrocious noise from his throat known to mankind while trying not to laugh.

The cadence Leon had said that could best be compared to a schoolgirl telling her best friend about her secret crush- not a grown man kicking his feet and giggling on the kitchen counter.

“Is that so??”

Luis squeaked out, using every muscle in his body to not laugh. Or cry. Leon nodded profusely,

“Yeeeeaaaahhh… you’re a boy kisser… I bet you wanna kiss me sooooooo bad…”

“Oh, I’m afraid not, cariño,”

He gave his lover a gentle smile and a pat on the shoulder, trying to let him down as easy as he could- but his big, wet, sad blue puppydog eyes already had his composure crumbling.

“You’re just a little drunk. It’d be immoral of me to kiss you in his state, mí príncipe”

Luis hoped the showering of nicknames would help soften the blow, but it really did quite the opposite.

Leon looked beyond devastated. You could’ve kicked a puppy and it wouldn’t look as forlorn and heartbroken as the sad little blonde in front of him did. But Luis was about to lose his composure! Not yet, at least!!

“W-What?? You- you don’t wanna kiss me…?”

“Lo siento-“

“F-Fine!!” Leon, in the blink of an eye, went from sad-pouting to angry-pouting. “I-I didn’t even wanna kiss you, anyway!! I bet you’re a terrible kisser!!”

Poor Luis had to cover his mouth to hide his smile lest he be exposed for his unseriousness in this totally serious scenario.

“Awwwww, nooo, my dearest Sancho, don’t say that…”

“Y’know, you’re really missing out! I’m a great kisser!!! Just ask, um…”

Leon looked down to count on his hands,

“Ada… and… Chris… if kissing for a dare counts… and… my ex-girlfirend… whose name I’m forgetting… and… um… and-“

Luis swiftly cut Leon off by grabbing the sides of his face and pressing him in for a messy, unceremonious kiss. His lover tasted like cheap American liquor, just as he’d assumed, but for once he didn’t hate the taste. Maybe that was just because he wasn’t the one drinking it, though. Not exactly the most romantic kiss they’d ever shared… but at least it shut Leon up.

Who, speaking of, was panting like a dog by the time Luis finally let go of him. He was about to say something, probably along the lines of how he’d never do that again for him, but Leon promptly cut him off with the stupidest, most boyish smile on planet earth.

“Ooooooooo, you’re jealooooouuuuuusss…”

“No I am not!!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!!”

“Are too!!”

This went on for far longer than Luis cared to admit. He argued with Leon deep into the night- exhausting him of his energy to the point where he just ended up falling asleep on the couch anyways. And Luis wasn’t far behind; throwing a thin, decorative blanket over their bodies and snuggling up to his side until the two of them drifted off to sleep together.

Luis would have plenty of ammo for teasing in the morning.