#can someone send me hate mail for liking homestuck or something.

[oboetoad]

i never got any anon hate mail on here yet, TeeHee

[dukeofriven]

How does it feel to be a fucking loser

”He piled upon the whale's white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart's shell upon it”‘How does it feel to be a fucking loser?’ says the guy sending anon hate with no clarification as to what it is they’re attacking me for. Let me just throw this out there for all of you, new followers and old: if you disagree with something I say, have the guts to say it. Debate me - I’ve been known to have my mind changed now and again.Seriously, though - I’m at a loss as to what it is you’re attacking me for? Is it my opinions on Steven Universe and Star Trek? Are you a fan wounded by my opinion? That’s curious, because the premise of both those shows is that love and tolerance, discussion and discourse, are the way to solve problems, not anonymously sending people hate mail - and that being the case, I am very comfortable as dismissing you as ‘not a fan’ of those shows because the characters on those shows, the heroes, would find your actions petty and repugnant.Maybe it is not that, though. What else have I done lately that might engender such disapprobation? I didn’t think My Hero Academia was interesting or good - little molesting grape boy and Bundle O’ Rage Blondie killed any interest in that show pretty quickly. Given that MHA goes out of its way to forgive Screamy Anger Boy every time he is horrible, I can see you being a fan of that show - did my disinterest upset you? This isn’t really going to push towards reconciliation with that program, let me tell you that.Am I loser because I think Vriska Serket is a cruel bully overly beloved by a fandom who forgives her because of her style, wit, and aesthetic? I’ll be honest with you, friend, responding to that with an anonymous hate message is a really bad way to show me the error of my ways on that point. “How dare you call her a bully you fucking loser” - mmh, yeah - as ipse dixit statements of stanning apologia go, I’m not exactly overwhelmed. Hell you know what, let’s come completely clean: I don’t like Vriska. In fact, I hate Vriska. Vriska and (Vriska) alike. I do not think the character ever tries to atone for their monstrous past behaviours, and I find within them the recurring trauma of everyone who has ever suffered abuse or neglect at the hands of an abuser who constantly references their own trauma as an excuse for their own behaviours. I think that Homestuck, Hiveswap, and now Friendsim have proven that Trolls choose who they want to be as people regardless of how society shapes how they ought to be - Vriska chose to lean in to the nastiest parts of her culture’s sociopathy and nothing - not SpiderMom, not Doc Scratch, not HIC - can remove her own agency. Vriska: She’s Mean, and writing to John about how she feels conflicted about Troll behaviour should have been the FIRST step to getting better, not the ONLY step.THERE! I SAID IT ANON! AND YOU KNOW WHAT - I FIND IT FREEING. I FIND VRISKA SERKET NAUSEATING AND KIND OF TRIGGERING AND I”M PROUD OF IT! PROUD I SAY! TEREZI PYROPE DID THE RIGHT THING! #TEREZIWASRIGHT #STABTHESPIDER #SOBSTORYNOTGOODENOUGH

Man if you didn’t write me based on Homestuck hate, you’re gonna be hella confused, nyoro~n.The thing is, so long as your hate is so unfocussed, I don’t know which of my opinions I should feel like garbage about. Is it all of them? Because I don’t need you to tell me that. I’m a profoundly lonely, deeply depressed individual daily confronted by my own insignificance and triviality on a stage I wish I was more vocally considered. In a strange way, your “from Hell’s heart I stab at thee” hate gives me far more validation than your silence ever could - somebody paid attention to something I said? I got one follower who frequently makes me feel valued and considered - but now it seems I’ve got two. An angrier one, to be sure, but if you’re mad enough to lash out, you’re mad enough to stay angry, darling, and surely that’s worth something?Gosh, you sure got a response, huh. You can sit there and smugly say ‘Excelsior, my trolling got a rise out of them’ but you didn’t say anything I don’t wake-up knowing every morning. How does it feel to be a fucking loser? Same as always, really. I’ll drag myself through my job today, cranking out the written word stuffed full of corporate doublespeak while my socialist heart withers and dies muttering about how ‘it pays the bills’ - when the revolution comes I’ll content myself that at least I don’t owe anyone money. I’ll go out tonight to my weekly trivia gathering, which is mostly dudes, dudes I consider friends, but even so I will never not be mildly uncomfortable the way I always am in groups of dudes. I will stay up late - browsing Tumblr, aimlessly trying to find something that will break through the numbness of my anhedonia. I may try and take another stab at this novel I have yet to bring to completion after years of trying. When I go to bed, I will go to bed alone, as I have done for almost a decade now after my last relationship so spectacularly imploded due to the selfish, hateful behaviours in my youth - if I am feeling especially self-flagellating I will while away the mid-night hours examine every mistake and wanton act of cruelty I have ever committed, knowing that no disapprobation I might crucify myself with can ever be worse than knowing than there is no way to make amends or rights - that we are, forever, condemned to re-live our repugnancy: the root of ‘monster,’ after all, trace through the Latin, is the same as ‘demonstrate’ with all its connotations of indictment.Despite being, by your opprobrium, a ‘fucking’ loser, there is precious little fucking in my life.So how does it feel to be a fucking loser? It feels like breathing, like the day-to-day, moment-moment autonomic functions of my body - which is to say it doesn’t feel like anything. It is routine - what would be noticeable is its absence. Contentment that lasted more than a day would be striking in its novelty. Real joy - real, tangible joy that is more than just a temporary spike in seratonin and dopamine - would be a stab, a pain notable for the absence of pain.I imagine that if I could pass this feeling to you, you would feel nothing, which is to say feel no different than you do now, in the same way I could not make cold someone who was already freezing. I am unsure what it is you hoped to get out of this - except, perhaps, an emotional response, which I cheerfully provide. I suppose I owe you a question in return, so I shall ask this: “How does it feel to be so angry that you send an insult to someone, but so utterly terrified of any consequences that might come of it you that you cover-up your identity so no one can ever know it was you?”I will put this another way:“How does it feel to have no faith in yourself or the value of your opinions in the eyes of other people?”