#can someone recommend me smthn?

[alienstage]

im booooored i wanna watch a movie/.......

[wollfling]

4 am and I can't sleep bc my joints are in so much pain 😒

[oh-no-its-bird]

hello dear author may i get ur opinion on genma. perhaps even genma/kakashi. perhaps. mayhaps. i just think they r neat and if u put them together that's double the neatness.

I love Genma so much actually, I think he's one of my favorite supporting characters to see in fics. Whenever I need a character to fill the roll of "random shinobi" I tend to default to him bc of biases (also his senbon is cool!! I love characters w a gimmick of just having like a toothpick in their mouth, and he has that but w a lethal presumably poisoned needle!! Love that for him)

I don't know how much canon actually provides for him character wise (never actually interacted with canon media lmao, I'm all fanfic) but I feel like there's honestly a lot of wiggle room with him

One of my personal favorite takes that (if I remember right) stems from a couple of @ blackkatmagic's fics is that he comes from a very small clan, distantly related to Orochimaru's own super small clan, the Orochi. Similar to how the Hyuuga and Uchiha are related

I lovee the mamma bear hc with him, I also love seeing him and Kakashi be any kind of friends. Currently I think one of my favorite takes on his and Kakashi's dynamic can be found in @vodkassassin's fic, Ear to the Wall.

Gemna only really shows up for a little bit, but the scenes he did get left a really big impact on me and how I see him (also the fic itself is amazing and is a very large inspiration for Orochimaru's involvement in Chasing Shadows, 10/10 read I HIGHLY recommend it, its a time travel fic but honestly even if time travel isnt your thing I'd still reccomend it bc its just one of those fics that fucks so hard you don't even care ab how you got here to start)

(<- spoken as someone obsessed with time travel fics)

Anyways, Genma/Kakashi!!

Actually thinking about it, I don't think I've seen any real fics about that pairing? I've run into it a few times as a past ship, like they hooked up once or twice or were fwb before the main pair gets together. But never one where they're the focus. That's tragic and needs to change immediatley

I love the idea of Genma being part of Kakashi's class when he graduated stupid young, never really interacting w him but like, existing. He wasn't Gai when it came to trying to hang out and around Kakashi, but he was certainly around.

No idea what he is in canon but I like to hc him as an information / infiltration specialist. So along with being around, he was also the kind of kid to really notice and keep tabs on stuff. (Konoha gossip king Gemna is THE hc to have sorry but I love it sm)

He didn't really approach Kakashi outside of any sort of casual nods or polite "hey"'s till after his whole team imploded.

I can kind of see him interacting with Kakashi in that in-between time where he was ANBU under Minato. But he was still mostly a very observant spectator, no real interaction

So then Minato dies and Kakashi goes off the deep end REAL hard, and Genma finally steps in. Maybe he joins Gai in trying to forcefully pry Kakashi out of his death spiral, maybe he approaches on his own, maybe he notices smthn or bumps into Kakashi alone while he's having a panic attack or smthn and there's a specific moment for that "final straw" where he finally decides to step in

Dunno!

But anyways that's when they start to get to be friends fr

I think Genma would be interesting and good for Kakashi at that point, bc he isn't a stranger, he knows what happened, he can make a lot of very good guesses at Kakashi's triggers and traumas and know what to avoid talking ab. But he's not Gai, who was sort of in the middle of it for a good portion of the drama, having a front row seat to it all. Which also comes with it's own emotional baggage.

Genma is a good middle ground, if that makes sense?

Also I think his calmer carefree energy would be good for Kakashi, especially at that point

They're pretty cute together!! If nothing else they make for very compelling friends when you really sit down to think ab it, and I can for sure get behind them as a real ship

Suddenly I need to go looking for fics with them as a pairing, I might come back and actually write something for them as a ship later

What's their ship name btw? I honestly don't know

[worstvideogamesong-poll]

Worst Video Game Song Tournament - Round 2 Match 5

Know What I Mean? - Mario Party 2

VERSUS

The Yoshi Clan - Yoshi's New Island

FIGHT!

I would recommend listening to as much as you can of each song before voting, but how you choose is up to you! Remember to be civil in the tags and replies!

Propaganda under cut:

Know What I Mean?:

"#i'm going with the mario party #it's SO off-tune and off-beat constantly #which i think is intentional but #i hate it"

(in reference to its previous match) "#this literally isn't even a fight. coughing baby vs nuclear bomb level matchup. what the fuck was that mario song. who thought that was a #good idea. i want to have words with them."

"#kwim is overstimulation in its purest form #it's the musical equivalent of getting nonstop discord notifications while looking for something i dropped while someone is talking to me"

"#know what i mean absolutely ROCKS. horrible. rocks so hard. they did the same thing that yoshi clan did. im guffawing"

The Yoshi Clan:

"the ass band will play a song of farts to celebrate your failure"

"#FUCK YOU YOSHI"

"#yoshi sounds like suck"

"#YOOOOOOOOSHI CLAAAAN!!!!!!!! #ok im gonna complete my santa review before getting to my ten page essay on why i love yoshi clan. yea that shit bad #i accidentally started it playing in two tabs at different points of the video which was honestly really fun. i recommend tryin that esp wi #bad songs really adds smthn to the exprience. it was awesoeme #it also just sounds the exact type of awful that that video image implies which is cool. its so perfect. it sounds ass #but. what it can not beat. is my favorite of all time. my darling love. it is time to begin my sermon #ok so yoshi clan is just so beautifully terrible. and truly the whole soundtrack is an orchestra of bad design. and its so fun to look at #that really nice professional looking art for the game and get BLASTED with kazoo #and like. i understand the thought process. kazoo does seem silly goofy yoshi. and it also sounds like a chorus of pain #now this song specifically has some really great awkward pauses. at 0:16 theres like a full 3 seconds of silence. which is SO cool #then the hot cross bun bit that ends at 0:27 gets so sad and deflated at the end of it. like it starts off in time but then clearly the #soloist got kinda embarrassed alone and so rushed and got really quiet. and its just so sad and lonely. its so cool #also some of these pauses have a couple lone far away kazoo squeaks for no reason before the 'melody' comes back in? awesome #but what i really really love about this. what really draws my eye. is the ending. because we go through this entire rigamarole with the #worst secondhand embarrassment of my life. then. 0:43. the kazoos move out. and in. the most genuinely awesome groovy drum beat in the worl #like its SO good. and those last few seconds are like you're in a different world. like you just survived horrors and you are brought to an #angelic chorus. and it lasts what 5 seconds? 5 seconds of beauty after a full 40 seconds of purgatory. in what world do horrors live foreve #while an angel can last for only a flash #its cruelty. its injustice. its completely ingenious. incredible music making. i am in such awe. #anyways thats my manifesto. please feel free to put any of this in the propaganda section op. im passioante"

Feel free to add more propaganda in the tags and replies, or send it to me in the ask box and I'll try to share it as soon as I can!

[nyxi-pixie]

hoW DO YOU EVER FINISH WRITING WIPS </3

LMAOOO i actually have a Horrible number of unfinished wips but i can yap abt some things that have helped me before☝️

have motivation but getting stuck writing: work on it out of order, write whatever part you want to whenever, think through character analysis, note down out of context dialogue lines, if youre having trouble with dialogue dw bc fic comes with an inbuilt crutch🤩 - just rewatch/reread canon material to refresh the Character Voice, then go insane🤩 a lot of writing is just reading other stuff And Engaging With It. canon, other fic, published authors, your own previous stuff, random essay posts about The Themes That Haunt You. pulling from fic engagement is rlly easy bc its so direct. i sit in a comment box or author dms picking out what i like in the writing and it helps w figuring out how to apply that to my own stuff, esp if stuck on technical aspects.

not stuck but dont have motivation: fic is a very community driven kind of writing! it helps to have someone excited in ur story while ur writing it, hence why its easier to finish multichaps once u start posting bc then commenters keep the story fresh in your mind by discussing it. And Prior to posting, or if its a oneshot or just smthn u want to finish w/o posting, u gotta find someone (esp someone w similar writing style/aim) to torment with Exclusive Early Access plot details💖 i would never have finished tuc if i wasnt doing that😭

id say just have fun with it but i have never finished anything by just having fun. torment yourself! effective but not recommended! will make you randomly want to delete everything 3x a week! my other method not involving the punitive pursuit of perfection is inspired by Literary Greats: alcohol.

[imperpetuallylost]

happy birthday, i’m sorry your day wasn’t the best! if you wanna talk about it, i’m always here for you! and if you’d prefer not to, here’s some love <3333

i think my form of talking abt it will just be complaining so heres a list of shit that happened today <3 thank you ily

my car wouldnt start

jumped it and eventually it started

we hadnt really shoveled enough so i couldnt get out of the driveway

i ended up having to get a ride to school and barely made it on time

like half my friends forgot it was my bday until reminded by someone else (i mean thats kinda whatever)

my laptop broke (ended up getting fixed by it but still a pain)

someone threw up in my chem class

also i broke a test tube in chem

somehow like half my class had lost their sense of smell and never got it back after having covid so i was like the only one that sat there the whole class nauseous from having to smell it even after they cleaned it up

were all gonna die if theres a gas leak bc no one will notice bc no one can smell shit

multiple classes sang at me bc yk ur friends always tell everyone but its always kinda miserable

my mom like filled my brothers car w balloons and wrote all over it for his 18th bday and did like nothing for me

to be fair i didnt have my car at school today but still she wasnt going to

also to be fair its bc my brother told her not to bc he hated it and i kinda wouldve hated it too but i also hated feeling like he got that and no one cared enough to do smthn for me

bought my first scratch ticket and didnt become a millionaire

won zero dollars

that one's not shocking at all

had to recompose myself after crying abt being a horrible ungrateful person bc i forgot to feed my dog so then i had to go downstairs and see my parents again when i had just been crying

one of like my two best friends has not wished me a happy birthday she has 24 more minutes and yes i am actively crying about that

she sucks at staying in touch sometimes even tho we still go to school together so im really worried abt staying in touvh w her next year :(

thats it ig like idk like no individual thing was that bad but today just felt like an onslaught

so far being an adult is like 2/10 would not recommend

[tehjleck]

hey, i know your anti-christian, but you made a post about if theres any proof out there. and um i’d recommend The Road To Easter. its basically all the proof abt Jesus’s resurrection! if u want to read it im sure there are pdfs or it might be at ur local library or maybe u can order it online or smthn! i get u dont like christianity, and as a former atheist (current follower of Jesus) i get why, truly. some christians do horrible things and are horrible people. but please take this ask at least a tiny bit seriously. thank you

You're mistaken, theist... I'm not 'anti-christian', I'm anti-perpetuating any lie that says there's a deity responsible for things happening. It's delusional.

Humans have created like 5,000 deities in our history, which goes back FAR LONGER than any christ myth. But you know that don't you? Did you know there are around 45,000 geezhus cults globally? How the hell is that 'intelligent design'?

I write fictional deities, and let me tell you - none of the ones I write would allow 45,000 different cults with different rules - Which usually came down to Jo bob disagreed with Billy Bob on how many wives gawd is ok with them having.

I have these discussions with christians most often because it's christians who are most frequently proselyting on tumblr dot com and begging for attention.

My tag doesn't specifically say 'christianity is a scam' - it says 'religion is a scam' ... it doesn't say 'your christian god is a fiction' ... it says 'your god is a fiction' because ALL religions are a means of controlling people. ALL of the 'gods' of human history are fictional characters meant to support their narrative.

Just like you and every other christian would say Ra, Zeus, Odin - are all myths... so is your geezhus.

I'm not going to read your book suggestion, theist. I write my own fictional deities. Try not to force yours down someone elses throat.

[zengi0]

Book Recommendations

Can someone give me a book rec similar to khaled hosseini, sally rooney or smthn? Cause tbh nothin is good lately, everything is the same shit.

[kmgkmg]

BACK TO US - BONUS. PLAYLIST BREAKDOWN

┊masterlist┊

for those that connect to music as deeply as i do, i thought it would be a good idea to make this post! diving deeper into my picks for the back to us playlist, all of the tracks are extremely intentional and you might not have even noticed their presence since i tried to weave them in naturally!

**below cut i give details about each track, spoilers included so i recommend reading once you've finished the series. long post (1.5k) since i included reasons + lyrics under the cut!**

first section: reuniting

✧ keeping tabs by niki: i can 100% see joshua listening to niki's music! her voice would match his really well imo and i could see him trying to harmonize with her voice as he was cleaning or smthn! while reader's emotions towards joshua aren't as strong as this song, it definitely has the same vibe!

you left without saying goodbye ---- i wish i never met you. you are the worst thing that i'm still keeping tabs on for some stupid reason. you were just being nice. now i fully believe you're out there somewhere also keeping tabs on how i might be feeling.

✧ sugarcoat (natty solo) by kiss of life: again this is veryyyyy joshua coded! when he recommended emotional oranges on summer vacation with vernon, i knew i had to add this track. the pop/rnb vibe is perfect. the lyric i included imo sums up how joshua came to his conclusions way too quick.

the image of me that you judged arbitrarily cannot be all

✧ haunt me by rini: this really describes the longing that they both felt for each other after joshua cut contact with reader.

thought i heard your voice, my favorite sound. was is somethin' there? ---- 'cause you haunt me, daily, nightly. get no peace of mind.

✧ still by jeff bernat: an artist that joshua has mentioned several times before! he's actually the person that got me into bernat's discography when i used to be a joshua/hoshi stan lol. another longing song (shocking to no one). goes over joshua's thoughts about getting past reader abandoning him :(

it's been a long time since we last spoke. i still wonder what you’re up to, after all that shit we've been through. ---- and there's probably people telling you that i’m doing fine, just taking my time. although it appears that i’m strong, it still hurts.

✧ not my job by flo: actually used lyrics of this song in 01. gentleman hong hahahaha. when reader asks joshua to tell the campers to knock it off with all the shipping, joshua says:

it's not my job to make you feel comfortable.

✧ summertime by flo: kinda inspired an interaction btwn reader and hoshi in 02. camper spirit when reader is like "i'm not going to let someone who deserted me ruin my summer."

second section: what are we?

✧ lemondrops by telana: the song that is behind it all!!!!!!!!!! i had no idea i was going to turn this into a series. it was originally going to be domestic fluff of reader giving joshua lemondrops so he could sing. but i mean hey, i gave credit where credits due, naming 06. popsicles and lemon drops after this song! just a very comforting song, one that definitely shows the dynamic between reader and joshua when they were close. the closeness that both of them miss.

✧ like i feel (feat. mereba) by xaiver omär: this song is LITERALLY about friends-to-lovers, i would be a fool to exclude it! kept this track on repeat while writing 11. taking inventory. joshua says to reader:

so, let me know if you feel how i feel. ---- also reader confesses with: i swear, i tried letting go of the feelings i had for you which is inspired by the song's lyrics of: swear i tried lettin' go ---- but i mean everything about this song is so good, esp this line: i feel a family of butterflies all in my gut, oh, and they're fluttering

✧ m.h. by yeek: just added this song for my own pleasure tbh, but one of the main repeating lines is definitely joshua's feelings towards reader when he starts hanging out with them more (around part 06/07)

i miss you when i see you no...(they) hit me with i love you.

✧ gotta get back (feat. pink sweat$) by p1harmony: another track i could see joshua singing along to

i know i'm not perfect, and i've hurt your heart before. so, i don't wanna make a promise i can't give. ---- never had someone make me feel all these ways before and now it seems that i can't get you out my mind. you got me hanging on to every word you say.

✧ all our time (feat. jae stephens) by xavier omär: summer breeeeze. perfect summertime song, could definitely see chan dancing to this for a dino danceology. and it would stick in reader's head after leaving pledis studios. would be the summer anthem for hoshi and reader.

✧ simple life by lexy panterra: nothing much lyrically, just a summertime vibes track.

✧ mornings (see you again) by alextbh: for the he/him readers! alextbh writes so many songs w a guy lover in mind, so i highly recommend checking his discography out.

been outta focus lately. all these images, playing in my head. i can't help it

✧ mess around by starchild & the new romantic: unable to think of a good description for this song so 👍

i know i shouldn't mess around, i shouldn't even hardly doubt you. i know i shouldn't fuss & fight, i shouldn't hardly run around you. all of these thoughts in my head...

✧ good life by otis kane x clay: this song is so smooth and incredibly joshua coded. kinda reminds me of niki's songs as well, vibe wise.

all the games aside then, i want you in my space. and now that you're in my world i'll never be the same.

✧ the chase by alextbh: no lyrics for this one, very sad if you listen to them but the vibe of the song regarding the instrumental and such fit the series!

✧ bamboo by ivy sole: another song in there for vibes, very much a summertime song!

✧ back to us (feat. julissa leilani) by jeremy passion: filo-american singer! idk if he's ever recommended his music, but i mean listen to it and it's just the embodiment of joshua's vibe into a song. obviously this song holds a lot of meaning for the series, it is literally the title! the song is more about a couple falling out of love, but this is based on vibessssssss! (it's a groovy little song, what can i say?)

✧ je t'adore (feat. ty senoj) by sylo: another song in the playlist for vibes. but again, very joshua coded imo! groovy pop is right up his alleyyyyy

third section: this is not a drill

✧ trust by thuy & rini: oh? rini makes a comeback? definitely a good song for explaining how reader and joshua slowly open up to each other, their need to build trust first.

baby, let your guard down. world's loud, we could shut it out. you can put ya trust in me if you choose. ---- how do i make you realize i'ma stick around if it's with you, you, you.

✧ ride with me by pink sweat$: a song joshua recommended in his 'beach drive' playlist on spotify! beach drive, perfect way to describe it. and when you think beach, you think summer, right? summer...summer camp? aha...

✧ blur by dhruv: joshua's double take cover remains iconic! and i really love dhruv's voice so i knew i wanted to add a song of his for sure! joshua's tweet in 08. another serious camper takes the first lyrics of the song:

the room tonight became a blur and all i could see was them you dancing.

✧ misfits' sunday by jooyoung: jooyoung's voice is perfect for a love story, i mean it fits all the moods. he usually does smooth rnb and although this is a newer sound he's been experimenting with, i thought the lyrics fit the series nicely!

we were young and naive nothing to worry. all the memories, fading with graphite scribbles. we grew too fast, a blink, slow talks.

✧ ore ore by sole: another track that i can't figure out how to describe...

love isn’t too far from us, love can handle everything.

✧ lucky by jason mraz & colbie caillat: tfw reader walks past joshua rehearsing with this song... (ahem, 10. what's your eta, anyone?)

lucky i'm in love with my best friend.

✧ angel 2 me (feat. jeff bernat) by mckay: jeff bernat feature, you know joshua would love this song and cover itttttt!

✧ ikaw lang by nobita: it's pretty established joshua loves filo artists, this would be a track he would play all the time. the title translates to only you.

oh, what a beautiful sight it is to look into your eyes. the way they sparkle, i cannot fathom. the way you look back at me, how brilliant they shine. heaven must be on earth. stars actually fall from the sky.

✧ 7pm (apple music home session) by joshua: joshua lulling reader to sleep with his guitar??? ���

at seven in my house, we'll sing both our lungs out and dance to the moonlight 'cause everything feels right.

✧ whether or not by gabe bondoc: the inclusion of gabe bondoc should be no surprise to a longtime carat! joshua loves his filo artists and i still remember this predebut vid of him singing some gabe bondoc!

i've dreamed a thousand dreams and still nothing compares to the feeling that you give me while you're standing here. i don't care if its fair.

[worldofgoo]

yayayay yippee (≧◡≦) i love how vibrant & lively your art is, i think my fav pieces are Horse Surgery & hanyuu (even tho i have no idea who that is) but that one wip with the rainbow is also v ery special 2me because it reminds me of my fav kind of weather ^_^ generic Which Program Do You Use question & also which programs have you tried so far? which one would you recommend for someone whose only experience so far wiht digital art has been scribbling in ms paint -_-? on topic, what do you draw with (mouse, phone, drawing tablet, ??) & was it easy for you to get used to digital art? i always get overwhelmed by the amound of different functions available so im not sure where to even start, any advice? which physical art forms do you like / would you like to learn (anything at all, i personally have been getting into air dry clay... well actually ive been using my sisters playdoh but maybe ill purchase smthn fancier :3) & final question how do you come up with poses to draw? your characters (+creatures) seem very animated and i really like that :)

HI okay i guess ill answer these in a list. actually will put it under the cut since i ended up saying a lot (and dw i enjoy being able to talk a lot so thank you!)

-THANK YOU im glad some of my more recent works (in my more current style) are appealing 2 people! like i wanna draw my own way even though i think it gets less notes... the higurashi fanarts (hanyuu and shion) r very memorable pieces to me because its when i started doing the loose sketches with the thin lines and block colors and thats the direction i reallyreally wanted to take my style in. also the rainbow is rian my friend rian

-i draw in paint tool sai! the only program i used before that was sketchbook pro, which i didnt like because the brushes were kind of... blurry/smudgy? sai allows you to zoom in and draw pixel by pixel which is something i like, and i like the way it does its blending. its also just easier for me to understand. i didnt pay for it i think i found some deviantart page that had the link, id have to find it again

-i draw with a wacom intuos tablet! its lasted me... almost 10 years now. ive heard newer ones are poorer quality in terms of at least the nibs needing to be replaced constantly, so idk what the most recommended tablet these days is. ive drawn with my mouse and tbh it caused awful hand pain so i would not recommend this. i draw on my phone with my finger sometimes but i find doing it on my laptop easier, however it is doable once you get used to it

-the way i got into digital art... well. i still have an archive of my earliest art if you wanna see! i was 14 n just drew random shit, often lining over doodles i did on paper and coloring them in. i think esp if youre overwhelmed start with making like throwaway experimental pieces, scribble around, doodle stupid things and color them in with different brushes and see what you enjoy. and then you can just keep the files to yourself if they dont look too good or maybe itll look interesting, it depends i guess haha. the other thing that ive always found helped me was telling myself id draw every day even if it was a little scribble or the tiniest amount of work on a wip bc getting a habit going helped my art a Lot beause it helped me spend more time thinking n focusing on it

more specific advice for sai that i found useful- using clipping groups & the preserve opacity functions are both lifesavers in terms of not spending so much time trying to color in the lines. if you color in a base layer you can just put everything above it as a clipping group and just not worry about it anymore. i also really like using the filters (like multiply) to mess around with the colors a drawing has, though sometimes its more effective to just select a layer/individual color and fuck with the hue/saturation/etc until it looks good. when i color, esp when its not turning out how i wanted to, i rely on shifting colors A LOT. n also mixing colors together using a blending brush and then colorpicking the intermediate color. very useful

-for the most part i stick to uncolored pencil doodles on like, notebook paper (even though i have some fancy supplies X[ one day) but i LOVE making things with clay, wish it was more accessible to do at home. i have a handful of clay animal statues and stuff that i made in my ceramics class in high school. would looove to do more

-because my poses tend to be very pushed/cartoony using references of real people isnt always useful (though obv knowing the basics of anatomy always helps) so in those cases ill use other cartoony art i like as inspiration, i try to see what i like about their poses nd emulate that with my own. sometimes when im struggling ill just do a bunch of studies where i copy art i like to try to get a feel for what im missing. mostly ive realized i like when the pose conveys some level of like, volume and taking up a 3D space (which im still definitely not a master of but bullshitting it can be fun). and i also like to have a balance of curved and angular shapes. sometimes i try to just do a pose that conveys a specific emotion or i just make shit up lol

alsooooo i cant reccomend aimless doodling enough! just random shapes, turning the random shapes into creatures, trying and trying and trying different ways to draw something until you like it, i feel like the things my hand makes when i shut my brain off and just scribble can inspire me as well, and i try to emulate whatever i made by chance while doodling. and if your doodles turn out better in traditional i tend to consider using a photo of a drawing as a way to skip the "preliminary sketch" phase nd drawing a rough sketch over that which i then use for my drawing (or just directly color since i draw very fast/lazy...)

[therainbowgorilla]

I wouldn't consider myself "moderate" in any way, but I do suppose that that might depend on how that is defined outside of the US? Since the US is apparently wack when it comes to political party definitions compared to a lot of the rest of the world or smthn, if that makes sense.

Politically, I see myself as a leftist. Now, my ideal is definitely some form of communism (I haven't really figured out if it's any specific form of it), but getting there where I live within my lifetime seems like too big a goal at once. In order to get to the point where the next generations may reach that future, I believe the first step should be something we believe might could reasonably be achieved or get quite near to within our lifetimes. A step at a time sort of thing.

I have no real hopes as of yet that the US will achieve any form of communism within my lifetime. Even if we attempted to throw some form of revolution, I doubt it would result in communism. I mean, the government literally has all kinds of things that could literally kill uprisers in their tracks. I think such a revolution would risk a massacre. We've seen how the police and military have no qualms against killing people who disagree with them.

So to get more to the point, my ideal is communism, but my practical goal is... I believe the term is democratic socialist? There's so many political terms that I get confused, but basically if you've ever watched Hannah&Jake (who used to run "The Bible Reloaded") or ActualJake (Jake's own account), those two are good references for what politics I believe in.

Whilst I wouldn't mind being educated more on your worldview and the different types of communism, anarchism, and how those two could work together, my ADHD does make articles hard to read. If you have any recommendations in audiobook or youtuber forms though, I'd definitely consider it.

... A Special Interest, you say? Well you've come to just the right fuckin place!

Occasionally, I run a "show" on my twitch (I guess it'd technically be sorta like a video podcast?) where fellow ND people come on, and for as long as they want they can infodump and rant their hearts out to me about their special interests, hyperfixations, passions, etc. Some guests do powerpoints, some just write themselves an outline to follow, some show me physical stuff if they want (like the "3D Printing" guest who showed me their prints), or it could be just a free form talk, or really whatever you want! It doesn't particularly matter.

The show typically runs up to (but doesn't have to be) 4 hours per show, but I welcome repeat guests!

You have to have a mic, but you do not have to have a camera on if you don't want to (I don't show my face myself).

I'm trying to edit the previous "episodes" to upload to youtube, it's just taking forever since they're long lol

But they're a lot of fun to do!

And trust me, it's not annoying to me to hear others infodump. It's the point of the show! I looooove hearing people passionately talk about shit! Their enthusiasm tends to rub off on me, so it can be a ton of fun to me!

Episodes I've had so far: History of Opera (part 0, lost episode), 3D Printing, History of Opera 2:Electric Boogaloo (a 2-part remake with much more info), and a type of Vision Disability (I forget the name of the specific one)!

The way it works is through Discord call usually, but I'm also fine with Zoom, Skype, Hangouts, etc!

I've got plenty of free time coming up the next few weeks on any day during the afternoon/evening/night EST, so if you're interested in guesting, lmk! If you need a later date than that tho I'm sure we can work something out! If you have a discord lmk and I'll send u my discord name so we can talk there!

I think I learn a lot better with someone directly telling me about it, so this could be really educational!

if any minors are following me

always make sure to start forging parents' signatures on the first day of class. that way, your teachers won't know that you've been forging signatures for the rest of the year

[chowowed]

Venting very hard about doctors, chronic pain, and being ignored.

one of these days i feel like i should just ask on a reddit thread or smthn about my damn chronic pain. every medical test ive had done has come back inconclusive or normal, but there literally cannot be anything normal about a 25 year old who cant stand straight after sitting for a long time, and who ends up in agony every time it rains. if i walk around a fucking store too long i struggle to put the bags in my fucking car. i can't ride in sedans / low vehicles because I struggle to get out of them. some days i dont want to get out of bed because it hurts so much. 90% of the time it only bothers me mildly but the other 10% (right now) has me so frustrated. weight loss didnt help, exercise didnt help, pain killers work for a few days and then stop. i had to strategically organize my classroom so i had a desk near me at all times in case i got unsteady so i wouldn't fall. my left leg refuses to improve at all, and any amount of babying it just makes the right leg inflamed. i run low grade fevers on the worst pain days. Getting sick at all just makes my hips and back scream at a level 9 pain. i know for a fact if i stopped taking my meds again i'd never sleep because of the pain.

"the kid is 9, his legs are just growing. has weak muscles in thighs but will improve as he ages" -> it has never once improved. I've literally been complaining about this pain since i was a child and unable to properly explain it.

"it may be gout based on bloodwork. this medication should help." -> several years ago, not improving the pain. feels like im wasting my money on this medication. also, literally none of the pain is in my feet/ankle/knees. its literally my spine and hips.

"your periods are causing cysts that press down on your nerves. birthcontrol should help stop that, and the pain will resolve." i was 15. im 25. i havent had a period since i was like 19. if this was the case, why isn't it better.

"xray shows labral tear. should heal on its own." -> been years, zero improvement. recommended absolutely nothing for treatment.

"mri came back clean. you may have arthritis, though." -> what the fuck does that mean. i "may?" how can an mri come back and show nothing was wrong but "maybe" it's arthritis. i was literally in pain on the fucking mri table. they immediately referred me to a spinal surgeon.

"xray appears normal! possible slight arthritis in the spine." -> Spinal surgeon was a flop. why the fuck is a (at the time) 23 year old developing arthritis. can you explain why my lumbar looked crooked. why did my mom's spinal surgeon look at a picture of this xray days later and confirm the L2-L3 looked crooked. did you miss the part where i said degenerative spinal diseases run in my family.

"bloodwork came back clean. theres nothing suggesting of arthritis." -> what the fuck!!! other doc just said i might have it!! do i or do i not have it!! if i dont have it why do i have these symptoms!!

"emg shows no sign of nerve damage." -> then can someone please figure out why i'm experiencing nerve pain in my left leg. freezing/burning/water trickling down/pins and needles on thigh/ i cannot feel any touch on the skin above my knee. thats not normal. that cannot be fucking normal. if its really meralgia paresthetica, can someone figure out WHY and WHAT caused it. i was told that would go away, why has it been almost 10 years and not gone away.

Like at what fucking point do these "clean" reports become a fucking red flag? At what point does someone say "hey, wait, what the fuck. that shouldnt happen" I dont fucking want pain meds!!! i dont want to be sick!! I want answers!!! i just want answers!!! i'm happy to try other means of pain management!! i should not be this creaky, stiff, achey, exhausted, and in pain for a 25 year old. i cant even walk around the goddamn grocery store for twenty minutes. what the ever loving fuck man.

what i do want is my handicap placard back. the dmv wouldnt renew it because my doctor didnt use an official letterhead :'(

[thesunshineriptide]

OMG I love love love yr fics!!!!! Could i request smthn for Vil, Idia, Malleus, and Lilia with an autistic s/o with a horror movie special interest?? I played through some of the Halloween event and Idia was soooooo based and real talking ab his fav horror franchise.

Horror really isn’t my thing which is why this took so long, HOWEVER it is my friends thing so I put in effort. I focused on specific things for each character because…I know like 4 things

Scary Movie

Characters: Malleus, Lilia, Idia, Vil

CW// horror, horror elements, mentions of Dissociative Identity Disorder in relation to horror (to critique Split), discussion of gore and blood, spoilers for certain movies including US, Jennifer’s Body, and I Am Sophie, mentions of analog horror and horror games, overall creepy horror stuff

Malleus

* Malleus is content to listen to you ramble about horror films from Nosferatu to The Conjuring, but he finds it particularly adorable when you try and explain the Halloween franchise to him

* “Okay, so, it’s really complicated but basically there’s like five movies in between the first Halloween and the new Halloween, and half of them get discounted by the new Halloween because that it splits into a new timeline, and also the Rob Zombie Halloween movies are hilariously bad because he remade the first one and then made a sequel to his remake that is NOT a remake of the second Halloween film[…]”

* He doesn’t watch movies. The last movie he watched was a silent film many, many moons ago. He has no idea what you’re talking about, but it’s fine because you seem so enthused by it

* When you invite him to watch Horror films, he’s not sure what to expect, but…it wasn’t this

* Perhaps he had anticipated something more Hitchcockian, maybe more jump scares and less gore, but maybe….maybe SAW wasn’t the right one to start him with.

* He’s a bit apprehensive when you say you wanna show him a different film, but he’s actually quite delighted to watch the Shining instead. He read this one when it first came out! He is quick to point out the discrepancies between film and novel, though, but hey, it’s a talking point!

* He ends up asking Lilia for recommendations, then comes back to you asking if those are good recommendations because Lilia can be kinda cruel sometimes.

* He doesn’t enjoy silence of the lambs. He also really, really doesn’t like SAW or other gore based films, and much prefers psychological horror because he likes to figure out what’s really going on.

* Actually introduced YOU to a few films, namely The Cabinet of Dr Calagari, the 1923 Hunchback of Norte Dame, and Gaslight. He likes to tell stories about everyone’s reactions to the films at the time, and how cutting edge they were.

Lilia

* Lilia is 100% a horror lover. Doesn’t like psychological horror as much as thriller horror, or comedy horror. Also not a big fan of gore.

* When you bring up your opinions on “US” he gladly joins the discussion

* “The twist at the end was honestly kind of a mind fuck for me. Like it was laid out clearly and makes sense and I kinda guessed it, but the concept of being so easily swapped out nobody noticed because, honestly, we’re the same as our own demons? It’s so interesting. Not to mention the acting was on spot, Lupita Nyong'o was so good in it, she did a great job. Acting double is so insanely difficult and making sure they’re so distinct? Wild.”

* Like Malleus, Lilia is happy to indulge this. He’s content to listen to you talk about how the fake blood is made (and how much fake blood is used) and whether or not a death was realistic or not.

* You two watch the lovely B film of The Banana Splits, and despite it being a bit more gore-y, there’s no way to take is seriously. You both laugh at someone dying via Lolipop

* He’s a gamer too, so he sees exactly what this is in a second. Five Nights at Freddie’s rip-off? Oh, because of behind the scenes drama? My, my, do tell the tea.

* Movie buddy. Will go to the theater with you (and pay!) and watch literally any horror film. Most of the time the movies aren’t nearly as bad as the things he’s seen in his long life, plus it adds to his aesthetic

* He loves Halloween. The holiday, though he likes the film too, and he’s ESPECIALLY excited to go to a haunted house or a horror con with you because he FINALLY gets to be scary!! That’s his favorite!!

* Like Malleus he might share some horror stuff with you, but instead of it being movies, it’s centuries old manuscripts to unfinished, unpublished, or lost horror stories that he’s storing under his bed in plastic bags. And Jesus god is there some horrifying shit…huh, it seems like the villain is all described pretty similarly….wonder what that’s about…

Idia

* Horror movies are one thing, but some of the best horror nowadays is coming straight out of online content creators. You know this, and Idia also knows this. Idia runs his own horror ARG, so he’s familiar with a lot of stuff.

* The magnus archives, Walton Files, backrooms, the Mandela catalogue, hi I’m mary Mary, don’t hug me I’m scared… He’s seen it all

* What he doesn’t expect is for someone else to know about these too. But when he sees your comment on an analysis of “I Am Sophie” he’s instantly committing a few…unethical things to figure out your watch history.

* He sees letplays for various horror games, reviews and analysis videos for various ARGs and Analog Horror series, and even a few watches of his own mysterious series

* Next time he sees you, or hears you’re nearby, he is RUNNING up to you to talk about all of this, and boy is he excited.

* “It’s so trippy that Sophie got replaced by that other girl. And the game reveal? So fucking weird! Hey- wait, Prefect, do you think you’d wanna come…u-uh…do you wanna come play Doki Doki Literature Club with me? I-I think you’re kinda…um…I think you’re SSR tier cool. We should level up our buddy power bonus…”

* Congrats, you summoned the gamer! He badly wants to hang out with someone 5 star tier and you managed to catch his attention

* Now you randomly send each other updates, theory videos, and new releases for games. He even lets you help him out on his little project, since you seem to have great ideas, and sometimes you play horror competitively, timing how long the other can last in Little Nightmares.

Vil

* A film intellectual, Vil knows everything about everything. He’s seen every pretentious film major movie - Clockwork Orange, Eraserhead, We Have Always Lived In The Castle, Mother!, blah blah blah

* But yknow what he hasn’t seen? Classic horror films from the mid 2000s. Yknow, the ones, the usually slightly problematic movies with terrible cgi but a whole lot of heart, sometimes ahead of their time, and generally kinda emo and homoerotic?

* Like, for instance, cult classic film Jennifer’s Body.

* “I think there’s a lot to unpack with it. Cause on one hand, I love the revenge of the girl who…well, she had bad shit happen to her, and she’s getting back as a whole because of this whole bullshit concept of virginity causing her to become a concubus. And then there’s the side of, like, maybe don’t villainize her for getting revenge? Because Jennifer isn’t good either, she’s straight up abusive to Needy, so it’s like. Hmm. It’s a lot to think about I guess. I love the girl bossing and the gay but hhhhh maybe not so much how complicated it to think about. But art is supposed to make you feel that! So I think it achieved a goal.”

* Vil loved hearing analyses of movies, and is content to let you talk about whatever movie caught your attention. He usually has a hot take as well - “Jennifer being a complicated character furthers Needy, who’s the real main character, in her own journey and shows how clearly the cycle of abuse can effect someone[…]”

* Vil wants to show you his pretentious movies. He really wants to know what you think of them, as someone of a target audience for his own films, which leads to critiques about acting rather than set design or story structure.

* “Split sucked from…so many angles. Especially the villianizing of mental illness and he misrepresentation of it n stuff, but, yeah, James McAvoy did a great job I guess. Please don’t do a film like this though, at the very least without talking to a system about how to best represent them…”

[rivetgoth]

hey! i`ve recently been getting back into gothic rock. what sort of modern bands would you recommend in that genre?

Ok honestly, not to sound like a poser or smthn but I’m gonna be honest I’ve never fully understood what specifically people mean when they use the term gothic rock 😭 I KNOW it’s a legit term I just mean like, I’ve literally seen people use it for EVERY goth band and then I see this arguing back and fourth abt what it is… I’ve seen people say that goth rock is British or European in origin while other goth genres have different backgrounds, or people say goth rock is goth music with a more traditional rock sound, and I’ve seen other people say it’s literally just synonymous with gothic post punk!!… It makes me feel stupid cuz I KNOWWW I listen to music that qualifies as goth rock but it seems like it varies person to person what it really is 😭 I guess the way I see it, goth rock usually indicates more guitar heavy goth post punk like Sisters of Mercy and Fields of Nephilim?

THAT SAID, from my understanding of what it is and trying to remain slightly more acoustic or guitar based (tho tbh a lot of my fave goth music is more synthy haha), apologies if I’m missing the mark to some people, my recommendations for someone just getting into it looking for something more modern would be The Bellwether Syndicate, which are kinda like goth rock and post punky in sound and super fun imo. Drab Majesty might qualify, and I’d probably recommend the general post punk darkwave bands from the recent years like ACTORS (my personal fave of the bigger names in the modern scene), Bootblacks, and Twin Tribes. I guess Cold Cave would also be worth checking out because they are very classic goth in sound and imo take inspo from Sisters of Mercy and Fields of Nephilim but not gonna lie they aren’t really my favorite from the newer goth bands 🙊 Same with Lebanon Hanover, they’re fine and really popular and worth listening if you haven’t but not AS much my thing… But people love them and they’re cool, I just think ACTORS has a kind of more pretty synthy ethereal sound that resonates more with me. Winter Serenity Index is really pretty. Merciful Nuns sounds VERY Sisters of Mercy and they’re cool. Foie Gras is more shoegazey but soooo good. Vision Video calls themselves “goth pop” and you can kinda tell what they mean but they’re still very acoustic and trad imo? And I really like them.

Hope this helps! 😭🖤

[apotelesmaa]

@fxggotclown ohhh I’m envious of the iPad acquisition… I have an iPad mini lying around somewhere but it’s like 10 years old at this point I don’t think it’ll run pjsk very well. Also I’m used to playing with my phone on a pillow in my lap using this position

Which I don’t recommend (hand pain) but I doubt I’m the only person doing it.

Smthn that helped me escape lvl 25 hell was 1) doing ranked matches (forces you to play at a level slightly above your comfort zone and get good at it instead of relying on accuracy up characters) as well as 2) changing my speed to ~10.5. I swear to god I went from barely being able to clear tondemo wonderz hard mode to clearing expert lvl 26 songs immediately it was so funny. & then doing more ranked + forcing myself to play on master mode in co op (if it’s below lvl 30. I get my ass beat otherwise) eventually helped me improve on harder charts. I think going through and clearing all the lvl 25-26 I struggled with also helped me get better at note layouts I sucked at but as a drawback hearing “rin-chan now”activates my fight or flight response.

I think there was also a period where I was averaging playing like 6 hours a night on the week and playing all day over the weekend (now at a more reasonable 2-3 hours a night) (still too much). Did not solve whatever I was going through (made it worse actually) but man did I hit those notes.

+ as a tip for trickier songs sometimes it can be helpful to look up a video of someone playing the chart. Shoujo rei master was my own personal hell until I found out that you literally did not have to move your fingers at all during the fucked up hold notes.

If I full combo another master song without even trying before I fc ifuudoudou I’m going to fucking end it all

[adrienscroissantx]

Music au

We know of the people who can play musical instruments. Luka plays guitar, ivan plays the drums, juleka plays bass, rose can sing, adrien can play the piano, etc. BUT WHAT IF. STAY WITH ME. WHAT IF. THERE WAS MORE.

Alya can ACTUALLY play the flute, she’s been in orchestra for 2/3s of her life. Nino’s been learning violin since he was 7 years old. Alix, shortest girl in class? Plays the fucking cello and is not afraid to hit a bitch with it.

 Kagami can play the drums like a beast (little side plot about how her mother sent her to like... piano lessons or something as a kid but she went to the wrong teacher on purpose bc piano was boring and now she can do epic drum solos and Ms Tsurugi just has to come to terms with it. Even funnier bc shes blind, Kagami would play recordings of piano in her room for her mom to hear and then she’d set up her electronic drum kit and play it w headphones on. Big Sneaky.)

Max plays the trumpet and Mylene plays the saxophone. Sabrina plays the tuba or the trombone or smthn. (look, max/mylene/sabrina being brass buddies ok) Meanwhile the biggest jock in school, Kim Le Chien, is an opera singer. 

Lila you may ask? Plays the oboe, aka one of the instruments that requires you to make faces like this:

(either that or maybe she’s like into ballet, also an interesting turn)

Bonus if they all go to one of those gifted kid schools with a killer arts program where everyone has to have like major talent to be there. Chloe got in because her dad is a generous donor to the school, doesn’t really have any talent w anything and plays it up all mean because she’s insecure.

And Marinette, you might ask? She doesn’t have a single damn musical bone in her body. She’s surrounded by musical skill, but she cant play anything. She’s there because she’s an extremely talented designer, and normally the school wouldn’t consider it, but she has references and recommendations tied to the Gabriel brand of all places, so she’s a special case. The only other person like her who she can relate to is Nathaniel, he got in because he’s really great at painting (classically trained n all that) so he looks good in exhibitions for the school n stuff. Basically, everyone is super fucking fancy and Classically trained at Everything they do and it makes Marinette feel insecure and left out.

And maybe at the end of the year the class has to put on a performance for the end of school (maybe for grades or they win a thing or whatever) and everyones like “ok we’ll do an orchestra piece or smthn” but everyones personalities clash together and nobody can agree on anything, they cant find a spot for marinette or chloe or Nath and its all going downhill. Lila likes it because she gets a spot in the limelight, but it ultimately falls apart and she doesnt like that. Until its one of those “well lets celebrate the individuality of the class instead of being boring as shit!” 

Kagami gets to do her epic drum solos that make your heart beat go 50000 bpm (and makes her mom proud of her in the process), Kitty Section in particular makes an appearance, whacko costumes and all (made and designed by marinette might i add) and they sing a rock/metal piece. Alix and Nino get to express they’re love for hip hop with their stringed instruments. Kim gets to play the opera role he’s always wanted to in some kind of epic mash up, the brass kids get to play a cool part maybe w jazz or something vibey (w set design made by Nath and Mari probably). And then Alya comes up with this light show/flute thing (AHEM reminscent of rena rouges mirage power, also all the visuals are put together and made by Nathaniel to show how he likes modern versions of art too, not just classic painting). Marinette designs all the costumes, and Chloe does what she does best. Bossing people around. 

She becomes the director of the whole show (she has some personal motivation, like wanting to make her parents proud or proving something to someone who said she couldn’t do anything). Lila is jealous and insecure and tries to sabotage the whole thing and make her classic orchestral piece (or do her ballet thing where she gets to be the star) the only good thing in the show. But CHLOE manages to save the day with her quick thinking skills, great improvisation, and fearlessness in the face of pressure and fixes everything! (See she works really hard... like a worker bee.... woah haha)

And then they win and its all great!! and Lila realizes she needs therapy!!! And she says sorry in the end and not everyone forgives her but its a start and then theyre on to their second year of Being A Gifted Kid school! MAYBE some romance subplot and tension, idk. 

The basic thing is the school is very obsessed with being a pretentious twat environment, even if the learners aren’t all interested in classic stuff (some are, like lila, but like. Nino’s into hiphop and Nathaniel wants to make comic books, not landscapes). Marinette is in an awkward position because they’re trying to put her in a Classical Box but,,,, its fashion design. The point is that it develops with the times. And shes the one who inspires everyone to do what they’re interested in rather than what the school expects them to do. And when the teachers pick up on this, they dont like it, and lila (who has some beef w marinette bc shes jealous n low self esteem or smthn) thinks that if she gets marinette in trouble for it she cld be expelled!! And she can be the star again!! And its like!! Classic private school drama!!! Ill shut up now!!!