#can he and his bestie stop being so soft already I have a mental health to think about

[gunsatthaphan]

another dose of soft boy energy coming in- 🥹🫶🏻

[comfortbucky]

𝗯𝘂𝗯𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⋆

pairing: roommate!bucky x gender neutral!reader

warnings: anxiety, suggested sexual content(?),

tags: FLUFF!! comforting bucky, pet names (darling, sweetheart, bunny)

A/N: hi i have been gone for so long i am so incredibly sorry besties! so i might be a lil' rusty with writing so bear with me but i hope u guys enjoy!

this one is for my literal bestie, my twin-flame, @swtbbybarnes !!! she has been working so hard in uni and i am SO SO incredibly proud of her!!!! shit is not easy !!!! everyone go tell mik ur proud of her in asks!!! this one's for u mik <3

word count: 927 (this is so fucking short i'm so sorry i'm rusty guys askdfgsdfk)

my masterlist!

You glance up at the clock to look up at the time. 4:38 pm. A sigh escapes from your lips as you turn your attention back to your laptop, the soft glow from the screen being the only source of light in the room. Your day had started at 7:30 am and yet you were not nearly close to finishing your work. There were a million things you had to do to catch up on for school. Somehow it felt like you had no time to do everything you needed to do, and yet simultaneously, every day was painfully long and drawn out. It felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders but you had no time to take a step back and just breathe.

The sound of the front door to your apartment opening and closing pulls you from your thoughts.

“Hey darlin’,” You turn to the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, greeted by a soft smile. Bucky takes a seat next to you on the couch, wraps his arm around your shoulder, and kisses your cheek, causing a smile to form on your lips.

“Hi Bucky,” You smile back, but it falters quickly as you turn your attention back to your laptop. He’s about to ask you how you are, but he already knows the answer. Bucky knows how hard you’ve been working to keep up with your schoolwork while also struggling with your mental health. It breaks his heart to see you so stressed like this, putting so much pressure on yourself.

An idea pops into his idea to help you destress and the corner of his lip curves upward, into a smirk. Your attention is locked on the computer screen while Bucky’s face is turned to face yours. He takes a moment to take in your facial features, feeling like he’s falling in love with you for the first time all over again. An adoring smile appears on his face as he presses a soft kiss on your cheek. You smile at his kiss, but keep your gaze set on your notes, wanting to take advantage of the sudden motivation you got to study. Bucky nudges your jaw up with his nose to tilt your head back, placing a kiss on your neck, keeping his lips there to linger on your skin. A shiver shoots down your spine and a soft exhale escapes your lips.

“Bucky,” you give him a warning, not shifting your gaze. He ignores you and starts to softly suck a spot on your neck. “I mean it, stop.” You gently push him off of you and he pulls away immediately, a regretful look on his face.

“I‘m sorry darlin’,” he starts, scratching the back of his neck, looking down bashfully. “Know how stressed you’ve been, so I wanted to try and help.” You sigh and grab his hands in yours.

“I appreciate it Bucky, I do,” you say, lifting a hand to hold his face in it, tilting it up to look at you. “I just,” you sigh and suddenly feel tears swell up in your eyes, finally letting all of your emotions that you had bottled up, release. “There’s so much I have to do and I have no time, and I’m probably gonna mess it all up somehow—”

Bucky pulls you into a tight hug, gently caressing the back of your head, interrupting your rambling.

“Shh, ‘s okay sweetheart,” he speaks softly in your ear. “We’ll figure it out together, hmm? I’m here for you.” Bucky pulls away from the hug to gently wipe your tears away with his thumb, looking at you with a loving smile.

“Thank you Bucky, but I don’t know about all that,” you chuckle breathlessly, wiping your runny nose. Bucky carefully grabs your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him.

“Hey,” he says, in a stern but also gentle tone. “You’re one of the strongest, smartest, kindest people I know. I’m so proud of you for getting to where you are now and for what you’ll go on to do in the future. What you’re doing isn’t easy, and that’s why I admire you so much.” Heat rushes to your cheeks, hearing his words and you stare into his eyes, speechless as he continues. “And even if things don’t work out the way you want them to, you have me, always. I love you, bunny.” Bucky’s thumb brushes your cheek before he pulls your face in to give you a soft kiss on the lips. It’s the first time in a long time that you felt like you could finally breathe.

“God, I love you so much Bucky,” you say, beaming a smile at him and pulling him in for another kiss. He smiles tenderly back at you and kisses your forehead quickly.

“Alright, let’s get to work. Tell me what you need from me.” You chuckle at his comment, ruffling his hair.

“Can you get me some bubble tea, please?” Bucky nods in response, smiling at you before he kisses your cheek as he gets up from the couch.

“Absolutely darlin’, anything else?” You shake your head in response. He grins and starts to head out the door.

“Be back soon! Love you bunny! I’m proud of you!”

The door closes shut, leaving you alone with your thoughts. But you take a deep breath and get back to work. The material is starting to make sense and you feel a surge of confidence wash over you. Everything is going to be just fine.

[peterxwade24]

BWYD Chapter 33

Nightmares and Panic Attacks

Content Warning: This chapter contains strong language that may not be acceptable for all audiences and child abuse. If either of these things triggers you, feel free to skip anything italicized (which is just nightmares giving us background into Marinette's time while in the French foster care system). There is one line that Lila says which is pulled directly from Marinette's nightmares.

Marinette whimpered as she curled into herself. She didn’t remember what she’d said, just that it wasn’t in French.

The belt came down onto her crossed arms, a sharp sting blossoming across her forearms, and she let out a quiet yelp. Her foster mother scowled at her and continued to bring the belt down onto her arms.

Her foster father simply brought his cigarette back to his lips with a disinterested sneer. “Pumpkin, let’s just get this over with. Our soaps are almost on.”

---

Marinette felt her heart beating in her throat as she cowered in the back of the closet behind a lot of clothing. She tried not to think about the new bruises covering old bruises, she tried not to think about the fact that she couldn’t see very well out of her left eye, she especially tried not to think about the fact that her ribs hurt with every breath. She held her breath as she heard footsteps approaching and tried to make herself even smaller than she already was in the darkest corner of the smallest closet in the home.

“Where are you?!” Her foster father snarled as he stalked past. “Where the fuck are you you little bitch?!”

Marinette felt tears roll down her cheeks and tried not to make a peep as the tears slid over the split in her lip.

---

“What is this?!” Her foster mother shouted at her, waving her maths test through the air. “What the fuck is this?!”

Marinette kept her eyes trained on the floor, not looking at her foster mother as she roughly grabbed her arm or as she shouted in her face. She didn’t know that acing a maths test would result in this reaction. She would remember that for the next time they had a test in school.

---

Marinette pressed her back, littered with welts, into the corner of the closet. She couldn’t help but pray that her superhero saviours would turn up sooner rather than later to save her from this particular house. She tried to fight off the tears, knowing they’d only aggravate her injuries. She wanted out of this house, she wanted to be safe, she wanted to feel safe.

Marinette pressed her hands over her mouth when she heard footsteps approaching her hiding place. She pressed herself into the corner and into as small of a ball as she possibly could when the door started to open. She peaked through the assorted coats hanging in front of her to see her foster sister. Jocelyne, her foster sister, was the only person in the foster family she could see herself getting along with.

“Come on Marinette.” Jocelyne pleaded, her eyes soft. “Use my phone to call your guys. You don’t deserve this shit.”

---

Marinette gasped as her eyes filled with tears. She scratched at the hand wrapped around her neck and she felt the tears bubble up. She frantically looked around the room before her eyes landed on Matthieu hiding in the corner of the room. She brought her hand up to her face and made the sign for him to call someone and he leapt from the room to the phone.

Her foster father simply tightened his grip on her throat and growled. “You little bitch!”

Marinette must have blacked out due to oxygen deprivation because when she opened her eyes next it was to Red Hood’s face over her’s. She gasped, taking in a deep breath, before her eyes looked around the room. She saw Batman standing over her foster father before she focused on Red Hood.

“Please.” Marinette wrapped her thin arms her too thin arms around his neck and whimpered when he picked her up.

“B. Come on.” Red Hood turned to look at Matthieu, a soft nod given in his direction. “Thank you for calling us.”

---

Marinette jolted awake, pressing a hand against her chest before she pulled Houdini to her chest. “Thank you for being here for me Houdini.” She stroked down the length of Houdini’s back a few times before Houdini got up and walked away. She combed her hands through her hair, pulling it back into a messy bun that she tied up with a black ribbon. She threw the blanket off of her and slipped out of bed before turning around to make her bed. “Okay Oberon, who should I look like today?”

Oberon simply sighed before he laid his head atop his paws, Oberon blinked his eyes at Marinette a few times before Marinette smiled.

“Ms. Kyle it is.” Marinette grabbed a pair of black faux leather pants, a black crop top and a black faux leather jacket. She changed out of her pajamas into the Catwoman inspired outfit before critiquing her appearance in the mirror. She grabbed a black ribbon choker and fastened it around her neck before swiping some black shimmery eyeshadow across her eyelids. She did a dramatic cat eye look with her eyeliner before applying some mascara and finishing her makeup with a matte red lip. She pulled on a pair of socks before stuffing her feet into a pair of black faux leather boots.

---

Marinette sat in her spot between her brothers, they’d actually arrived at school early for the first time in a long time, while they were all working on a free writing assignment for one of their English classes. Marinette had turned to Colin, asking him a question in Hebrew, when Lila walked in. Marientte turned to ask the same question, only this time in Arabic, to Damian when she locked eyes with Lila.

Lila scoffed before flipping her hair over her shoulder. “This is France. In France, people speak French. So, speak the language or go back to whatever filthy hole it is you crawled out of, you little bitch.”

Marinette’s normally calm demeanor froze at Lila’s words, and for a moment Lila thought she had won, until Marinette clamped her hands over her ears and pulled her knees to her chest. Marinette let herself fall out of her chair and backed herself into one of the corners under the desk.

Damian fell to his knees in front of the desk before looking at Colin. “Call Grayson or Thomas or Kent. Call someone.”

Colin pulled out his phone and dialled Dick’s phone number. He worried his bottom lip as the rest of the class filtered into the room.

“What’s going on?” Alya asked her bestie, not really caring what was happening but wanting to know anyway.

“Marinette’s just pretending. She was so cruel to me before you all-” Lila began before Damian cut her off.

“Bullshit!” Damian turned to glare at Lila before Colin held up a hand.

“Dick? Dick! Hey, sorry to wake you up but we’re at school and Marinette is curled into herself hiding under a desk… Yeah, she pushed herself into the corner… No, Damian’s trying to coax her out… I don’t - I’m not sure. I don’t know what set her off and I don’t know how to help. Please, can’t you try something?”

Damian looked at Colin and moved back to give him room when he knelt beside him.

Colin pressed the phone between Marinette’s ear and her hand. He waited a minute before taking his phone back. “Dick? … That bad huh? Do you, what should, what can we do?”

Damian pressed himself under the desk and tried to remember what his father would do when she had a nightmare right after he and Todd had brought her home. He settled for humming “I’m Just a Kid” by Simple Plan in the hopes that she’d come out of the corner. He glanced at Colin, who was deep in conversation with Grayson, before motioning to their stuff.

Colin nodded, sandwiching his phone between his ear and his shoulder, and started to close their laptops and tuck them safely back into their bags before he stopped and sighed. “Look, Dick, just call the school and tell them we needed a mental health day. Damian is humming one of those dumb songs Jason pretends he doesn’t listen to and I think he’s only hoping ot get her out of the corner. We’ll call Jason as soon as we leave the school, I promise. And if he doesn’t pick up we’ll keep calling him until he does.”

Damian smiled gratefully at Colin and continued his humming. He had gotten through the first fourteen measures before Marinette moved out of the corner, the first twenty-one before she had moved closer to him, and had just finished the thirty-second measure when she leaned against his chest. She wasn’t normal, simply no longer catatonic, by the time Damian maneuvered them out from beneath the desk. He held her against his chest before shouldering one of their bags and leading the way out of the classroom.

---

Marinette was vaguely aware of the passing faces, most screwed up in expressions of pity while a few wore expressions of sadistic glee. She simply leaned against her big brother’s chest and tried to forget everything that had ever happened to her.

She was even more vaguely aware of Colin insistently calling Jason before she clumsily pulled her phone out of her pocket and handed it to him. Colin flushed in embarrassment before selecting the emergency call and typing in Jason’s number. He frowned when not even a few moments later the gruff and gravelly voice of Jason flooded his ears.

“Pixie Pop? What’s wrong?” Jason sounded concerned, not something Colin or Damian were used to hearing from him.

Colin slid the phone between Damian’s shoulder and Marientte’s ear.

“Pixie Pop? Can you hear me?” Jason’s voice was quiet and unsure, something Marinette hadn’t heard since the days when he and Ubaba would rescue her from foster homes.

“Jay-Jay?” Marientte’s voice cracked before she curled her hand around her phone. “I wanna go home. Wanna be safe. Please.”

Jason swore under his breath before he started singing. “Sweet dreams are made of this.”

---

Jason barged into Bruce’s office in Wayne Industries, disrupting a meeting in progress.

“Jason!” Bruce chastised. “I’m in the middle of something can thi-”

Jason rubbed a hand down his face. “Marinette had a panic attack while waiting for school to start. Pixie Pop had a panic attack and, from what Dickiebird says, she was unresponsive for several minutes. Demon Spawn had to hum I’m Just a Kid to get her to come out of the corner she’d backed herself into. Colin called me multiple times this morning before he called me from her phone. I’m going to Paris.”

@dast218 @amayakans @toodaloo-kangaroo @crazylittlemunchkin @marinettepotterandplagg 

[uncloseted]

1/2

1/2

1/2 Hi. I think I could use some help, I'll try to make this short. When I was 14yo (I'm 20 now) I dated a 18yo guy, thank God we were taking it slow and never made things official. Now that I'm older I can see that relash was rlly wrong. He was manipulating, used me to boost his ego, forced me to do things I wasn't comfortable doing and I think although we weren't official, he cheated on me? (more on that later). After a few months of fooling around, I found out something about him that I didn't like and confronted him about it, with the intention of ending that relash. He started begging me not to leave him, asking me tricky questions about the things I had heard of him with the intention of "making me realize" he did nothing wrong, and he even became violent with the person who told me those things, to the point I couldn't break up with him because I was scared. I just stopped answering his texts and calls because I was afraid of even talking to him and eventually he took the hint and suggested we broke up. We decided to stay friends, but that only lasted a few days, because one day, via Facebook Messenger, he suggested we got back together and I rejected him, so he blocked me. Months later, I had to close my Facebook due to harassment (not related to him) and opened a new one. Facebook showed me his profile in 'people you may know' and I decided to peek out of curiosity. Turns out, the moment we broke up, he started uploading photos with his new girlfriend. The descriptions of those pics said the exact same things he used to tell me, and I ain't good a math but I did some calcs and he had to be with her while still being with me lmao. I really didn't care, I was just happy I got rid of him, and I moved on with my life. Some time later I fell head over heels for a guy from my workplace, who I still hold close to my heart. I have trust issues and I am a very private person, especially with my relashs, so I didn't tell anyone about this guy except from like 3 friends. One of them was a girl (that we'll call Anne) who was like a sister to me, and was also friends with my ex. Over the next 2 years I had a relash with this guy, everytime I talked to Anne I used to tell her more details about my relash. Then, one day, I got a text from my ex. He texted me like we were besties and nothing had ever happened between us, like he didn't block me TWICE (yeah, he blocked me from my new Facebook too even though I never tried to reach out to him). I was angry at his nerve and told him so, he realized I was upset and changed his persona from confident and tough as nails to regretful and soft, telling me he was sorry for being so immature all those years before, but excusing his shitty behavior by saying he always "kept an eye on me". Um, wtf? He told me he was always asking stuff about me to Anne, looking out for me. I wanted to know what exactly he knew, but, trying to manipulate me again, he said he would only tell me if I accepted to play a game with him: I could ask him one question if he would ask me one in exchange and so on, and we had to be ttly honest with each other. I really didn't wanna get into his shenanigans but I only had one question (wtf do u exactly know about me, creep?) so I accepted. He asked his question first (dID u fEeL sAd wHeN i bLoCkEd U?) and I asked mine. I thought he maybe knew something about my school stuff and MAYBE that I had been dating someone else. Turns out he knew every. single. detail about my personal life. Not only he KNEW I was with other guy...

2/2 Not only he KNEW I was with other guy. He knew his entire name, the school he attended and every little detail from our relationship and other stuff about my personal life. Every single thing I told Anne, opening my heart to her, she told him. I felt terribly violated. I felt like a dissected frog, open for anyone to see my most inner parts. I felt ashamed, unprotected, sad and angry, all at the same time. I told him what he did was disgusting, to never reach me again or try to "keep an eye on me", and that I would make that job easier for him by getting Anne out of my life. He apologized, said he understood the situation, would respect my wishes, and wished me a happy life. I thought that was it. It took me a while but I got to heal, to feel safe again, although I still have a hard time trusting my friends. But I was wrong. Months later he sent me a Friend Resquest. I was a lil afraid, but tried to calm myself saying he probably just was checking if I was still upset, so I rejected the request and again convinced myself that was really it. But then he sent some girls to take pictures of me during my high school graduation ceremony and recently, his cousin (who was my friend when we were 14 but haven't talked since) texted me. I know that sometimes nostalgia makes you reach out to old friends, but we weren't close at all. Besides, he acted super weird, didn't even try to make small talk or let the convo flow naturally, but went straight for super specific and weird questions: are you studying college? what are you doing with your life? are you in a relationship? I was really weirded out and considered the possibility he may have been asking all those things because my ex asked him to do so, so I kept my answers short and vague, not giving him the info he wanted, and although I def came out as cutting, he kept asking. I tried to still be friendly because I didn't wanna seem paranoid, but I think he realized I wasn't telling him anything over texts, so he asked me to meet again over some beers with his friends on October 27th and that's when I stopped answering. I thought about that strange invitation for a few days until it hit me: October 27th is my ex's birthday. So much about respecting my wishes. I spent the rest of that month really nervous that cousing would try to reach out again, but nothing happened and I started to feel calmed again. Until, in November, he wrote me again, this time asking me if I wanted to go to the beach with his friends. I haven't even bother to open that text. Since them, I've been super paranoid. I know my ex's attacks aren't that consecutive (more like every two years: he contacted me and sent me that friend request when I was 16, hijacked my graduation at 18 and now sends his cousin at 20) but I can't help but think he's always there "keeping an eye on me" and planning his next move. I stopped accepting any friend requests because I'm afraid he will send someone for me, and if someone I already have on my friend list but idk texts me and after some small talks asks me about my life, I get paranoid and ask them why they wanna know and if they have some hidden intentions. Also, there's a mall near his house, and everytime I have to go there to buy something, I feel like crying because I'm afraid I'll stumble with him. I probably sound crazy. Some people may think I'm exaggerating and I should just let my ex stalk me and act all obsessed, but I feel dirty everytime I think about him knowing my personal stuff. It was just so traumatizing the first time. Do you get me? I feel like nobody gets me. Please help me, what can I do? I don't know how to make him stop, I'm tired of living in fear.

Not to start this off with an unrelated thought, but when did Tumblr get rid of its character limit on asks? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it let someone send in a message this long in one ask.

To get to your situation, I can definitely see why this would be a stressful and uncomfortable situation for you.  The first thing I would do is to stop interacting with your ex and people related to your ex.  You don’t owe his cousin anything.  Block both of their numbers, block their social media accounts, etc., and do that for everyone else who’s friends with your ex (or put them on limited profile/create a “close friends” list on social media).  Tell all of your friends in no uncertain terms that you don’t want them talking about you to your ex, even if it’s stuff that seems harmless, and cut those people off if they do talk to your ex about you.  

The other action you could take is to file a restraining order.  If you go down that route, you’ll have to fill out some forms and file them with the court, and then have a hearing with a judge where you explain your situation.  Then, you’ll have a second appearance in court where the stalker is present, and you both get the opportunity to explain the situation.  The judge will then determine the final order and the conditions of that order.  It can be a bit of an involved process, but it may give you some peace of mind.

The last thing I would suggest is going to therapy.  It seems like you’ve been through something traumatic, and a mental health professional can help you to work through that and move on from it.  There are many options for therapy, both online and in-person.  If you have health insurance, your insurance should cover at least some therapy sessions.  If not, some therapists provide services on a sliding-scale, and online services like BetterHelp can be less expensive than traditional therapy. 

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s April 2018 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

It’s the 28th of another month and time for more fan fic writer and fan artist appreciation! This list is a long one this month since I went on vacation and was able to do more reading than usual, so let’s get going with the list of fics I was lucky enough to be able to read!

Everything Comes Back To You by @jaerie / jaerie This was so soft! Hurt/comfort going both ways and Marcel and soft Louis and just so many things I love in a fic. It was lovely and I adored it.

Saw It In Your Eyes by @taggiecb / taggiecb You know that post about the totally straight guy that has a freakout because he saw his (openly gay) roommate with another dude and he’s afraid he’s homophobic but it turns out he was just jealous and not as straight as he thought? THIS FIC IS BASED ON THAT POST AND IT’S GLORIOUS I TELL YOU!!!

peppermint by ihavetoomuchfreetime Okay listen. I rarely read pairings other than Larry, but when I do it’s usually Tomlinshaw or Ziam, and this Ziam fic was fab. It was recced to me to help me while I was dealing with some of the worst spring allergies I’ve had in years and it made me giggle through my itchy eyes and scratchy throat. I defo recommend it.

Friend of the Devil by @taggiecb / taggiecb This is more of the Satan/Santa series Lacey has going and it’s PHENOMENAL OKAY! all of them need read so just. Please make sure you do. They’re the fluffiest shit I think we will ever have Lacey give us. lol

No Easy Love (Could Make Me Feel This Way) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 Alpha Louis/Alpha Harry exes to lovers fluffy smutty shit? YES PLEASE! And in true Anitra fashion, they were both adorable while also being hysterical in parts with a side of emotions, so there’s that too.  A defo must read.

I’d Still Dance With You by @flamboyantommo / kikikryslee Gosh I love age difference fics and I don’t even know why. I’d been looking forward to this one and it defo didn’t disappoint. It was so sweet and lovely and so good, even if I did want to bash people’s heads in every once in awhile. lolll

Don’t Be Scared Pretty Kitty by ttomlinstyles Okay listen. I’m a sucker for hybrid fics and this was one of the first ones I ever read, back before I understood how to use ao3 and bookmarks and such so when it was linked to me again I about died. Please be careful of the tags, but I did thoroughly enjoy the reread!

For the Love of Biscuits by Snowy38 Another hybrid fic cause I loooove them haha This one was so sweet and lovely! It was everything I love about hybrid fics hehe

Cling to Me by Snowy38 Koala!Harry!!!!!! Seriously, this fic was SOOOO SWEET and adorable and I want all the koala fics now. it was so so so cute.

Don’t Talk Dirty To Me by @miafi / miadotfi This had me laughing so hard while also being somewhat mortified hahaha It was such a great little pick me up for a bad day! I loved it.

Saving Symphony Hall by @helloamhere / helloamhere I’m sure everyone’s already heard the praises being sung for this fic by now, but honestlyyyyyyy! It was glorious and I loved the delving into the a/b/o world while still having so much more be a part of it than just that and the various plot points and everything and it was just. So good. 

Simply Irresistable by @all-these-larrythings / rearviewdreamer This fic was so lovely. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it was one of those where the characters do just what you want them to (or they did just what I wanted them to anyway lol) and it makes for such a great, happy, soft read. 

If You Want More, Then Here I Am by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2 Mel scored once again! She just keeps blessing us with the a/b/o goodness and soulmates and just. This one was once again filled with her awesome humor and pining silly boys. It was a great vacation read :D

Always Darkest before the Sunrise by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry Despite the fact the title always makes me start singing Florence (and I know, the lyrics aren’t even the same! I can’t help it!), I really do love this fic. There was such a mystical and almost chaotic feel to it until things started piecing together, and I loved how it was truly a mystery from the beginning as to how everything would come together. 

Cosmic Love by @smittenwithlouis / smittenwithlouis Guys. This fic. I’ve got a few alien fics this month, but I just loved this one! It seemed so real for how everyone would react to the given situation and I can’t stop laughing over Aerosmith, tbh. Anyway. A great fic!

Wild at Heart Ain’t Hard to Find by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen Girl Larry with besties Boy Niam?? In a historical town in the Wild West? Gosh yes. It was so hot and fun and sassy and I adored it. 

I Didn’t Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 Okay listen. lollllll More fab a/b/o, more fab humor, and MONITOR LIZARDS. lollll okay so only one monitor lizard. But still. It was a fab read that I fully enjoyed every minute of.

Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Is by @fakedeepplantjerker / kassio Okay. As soon as I read Caught My Attention, I immediately begged that we not be left wondering and was glad to hear the wonderful kassio/fakedeepplantjerker was planning a sequel. I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE SUCH A GLORIOUS SEQUEL. I loved the first part, but the second was just as amazing, if not more so. Defo read the first part, absolutely 100% read this sequel!

Introduction to Dynamics by @juliusschmidt / juliusschmidt This fic was AMAZING. The structure of it, the issues brought about regarding late presentation and the transition during that time as well as just everything regarding Louis being a male omega and all the craziness with that was just. AMAZING. As should be expected from all fics Alex touches, really. But yeah, I loved this one very much a lot.

Convalescent Boy (With a Heart of Gold) by Anonymous Okay the Gryles friendship in this fic made me cackle and made me think of me with some of my friends so I absolutely loved it, but the way that Marcel was with Louis and vice versa was so lovely! So sweet! So tender! I adored it.

Linger by @yourpricelessadvice / yourpricelessadvice Who else adores slow burn? And people trying to ignore the fact they should totally date and kinda are dating but are pretending they are just friends? Cause I know I do and this fic was fab for that. Plus we got to know the side characters so well and get good insight to other relationships in there and it was just glorious. I really enjoyed this one!

Don’t Let the Tide Come and Take Me by @icanhazzalou / kiwikero Mermaid Harru! With a twist! Gosh I adored this. I was freaking out, trying to figure out how it would all work out the entire time but then I was like WHAAAAAA and it was incredible. Defo give this one a read!

Lead Butterfly by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry Pirates! Nobles! Poor Harry and Captain Louis! Tattoos! Hurt/Comfort! Awesome Niall and Liam! There is seriously so much in this fic to love and I’ve barely touched on it. 

Both Sides by @louiesunshine / louiesunshine GOSH I am a sucker for friends to lovers and this was the epitome of that. Pining out of the gills, the inevitability of it all, you know? It just was glorious and lovely and pure and I really enjoyed it!

Ain’t That a Kick in the Head! by @lesbianharrie and @maybetheyrefireproof/ lesbianharrie and wreckingtomlinson This might be the funniest fic I’ve ever read. I loved it for about 17 million reasons and was crying laughing/wheezing/trying not to pee cause it was just all sorts of amazing. Disaster gay Harry was a gift I didn’t know I needed until I had it and I’m so happy I do now. 

Before I Fall Too Fast by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse / xxSterre All the pining. All of it. Friends that are always pining and loving each other from afar is just everything I adore in a fic and that’s what we were gifted with here. What a lovely read.

Wearing Nothing But Your Kiss by @catfishau / dinosaursmate KK is the queen of Friends AUs and this one of course is as amazing as the others. It made me giggle and laugh and hope for them to figure their shit out. A classic KK read, which obvs means you wanna be sure not to miss it.

The Balcony by @maggieisalarrie / maggieisalarrie (ls2k14) This was exactly what I needed on a horrible mental health day where I couldn’t focus on anything. It was short but entertaining and silly and a fun read. I was so happy it was there for when I needed it!

SPHERICAL by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses)  This was also exactly what I needed on that same horrible day and this also made me giggle and helped me get out of myself. It was just so damn pure and I honestly wanted more hahaha It was fab and a gift.

Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere / helloamhere Area 61. That’s all I’m saying about that, but I’m still giggling days later over that. Once again, another alien Harry fic! Can you tell this is also a weakness of mine? I love it. This was so emotional and lovely and so much more than a road trip fic, even though I love those too. It was just...I can’t even find words for it. Just read it please.

Peace So Sweet by @shyshyserious / shyserious Another amazing a/b/o fic, but this one featuring NESTING!!! I love omega nesting instincts and had forgotten how much so until I read this fic. What a fab fic and again, protective alpha Louis and nesting omega Harry? Like, if that’s not you’re thing then fine, but you should defo give it a chance because it was lovely.

Whew. And that’s it friends! It was long this month, but I really loved all of these fics and thank you so much to the amazing authors who put so much time and effort into giving me these hours of entertainment! I adore all of you for it. Until May, Happy Reading!

[roxy-davenport]

Echo Home

(Not my image. I got this from Google.)

Pairing: Crowley x Reader

Word Count: 2,053

Beta: @seenashwrite Mwah! Thanks soon much hun.

A/N: Crowley fluff, panic attacks. This was written for @mrs-squirrel-chester’s Album Challenge. I chose the Album, “Ash & Ice” by the Kills. This is inspired by the song, “Echo Home” which is the twelfth song on the album. This was also written for @letsgetoutalive’s Mental Health Awareness Challenge with the prompt, panic attack.The reader’s negative thoughts and Crowley’s telepathic conversations are in italics. The reader has a panic attack and Crowley is there to help.

You were wounded. You had barely made it out alive. But you were headed home.

 You were driving on auto-pilot, only one thing at the forefront of your mind: your ineptitude. It didn’t matter that you’d saved the kidnapped couple, that you’d rid their tiny town of monsters. You just couldn’t shake it, the thought that Sam and Dean would be handling this so much better. And not just the hunt - these feelings, these doubts mangled your thoughts in the aftermath.

 You should’ve remembered that you were just one person, and they were two. You should’ve remembered that they had years and countless experiences on you. You should’ve. But this was a dark day, and on these days, none of that mattered.

 “Dean was right. You had no business going off on your own. You fucked up. Yeah, you all researched for this hunt. But you were the one thinking you were ready, that you could do a solo hunt. You’ll never be ready. You’ll always be the little annoying sidekick to the Winchesters. You shouldn’t delude yourself with ideas of grandeur. You should turn back now and go get a real job. Now that you’ve messed up, you’ll have to tell the boys, and how do you think they’ll react? They’ll kick you out. You’re a liability. You’re useless. Yes, you took out three monsters but only by the skin of your teeth. They need people they can trust. They’ll yell at you and be mean like everyone else. They’ll see you like the fragile little eighteen-year-old girl you are.”

 Tears were streaming down your cheeks. The negative thoughts in your head were too loud today. You had to pull over and get out of the car. Your body was heating up. You couldn’t drive like this. Your hands were shaking as you opened the door. You gulped in cold air, hoping it would cool you, but still you remained too warm.

 “No. No, this cannot be happening now. I just need to focus, get back to the bunker and go straight to bed.

 Sweat dripped down your back and your pulse raced. You felt like you were having palpitations. There was a pressure mounting in your head. You tried to move but you were unsteady, dizzy even. The negative thoughts kept coming and coming. One thought stood out above all the rest.

 “You are a horrible hunter and you don’t deserve to hunt with the Winchesters.”

 Your breathing was labored and with each passing second, it got harder to breathe. It was as if something was blocking your airway. What was it? You couldn’t make yourself breathe. And if you couldn’t breathe, you’d be dead soon.

 What a cruel twist of fate, to survive the hunt just to die now, here, on the side of a road. You weren’t getting enough air. You felt faint. Your legs were wobbly and you slumped down onto the pavement, gravel digging into your knees. You started to panic even more as you wracked your brain, trying to figure how to save yourself. Driving back to the bunker was out. The boys coming to you was also out. They were too far away and while they could assuage your fears, afterwards there would be a barrage of questions and guilt and emotional outbursts. You could call an ambulance but being a hunter, insurance was an issue. And it would take them a while to find you on the road. You could be dead by then. You needed help NOW. Your only real options were Crowley and Castiel. If you called Cas, he would just alert the boys and he’d be fussing and hovering over you. Then there was Crowley. He had given you his number after all. You did have a huge crush on him though and were a bit nervous calling him but he was your best option. Taking a deep breath you texted Crowley.

 Crowley was listening to demons prattle on when the theme song for Rocky and Bullwinkle went off. He had programmed that as a text message alert for you, Sam and Dean. Curious, he fished out his phone, ignoring the looks from his demons.

When he noticed it was you, he happily clicked ‘read’ but was confused and slightly nervous when he saw the only word written was “help.” He didn’t waste any more time, and appearing in front of you in a second. He looked you up and down, noting a large gash on your side and lacerations to your back. You were clearly in distress, and gasping for air, but he had no idea what was going on. He entered your mind and picked up on two phrases you kept repeating over and over again, “I’m dying! Help!”

 “Stay here, Pet. Getting help.”

 Crowley had never experienced panic attacks when he was human, and his demons would be of no help. He wasn’t likely to ask the Winchesters for help, so he did the next best thing, possessing a doctor from a nearby hospital. He rifled through the doctor’s brain until he found information on panic attacks, then left promptly.

 Crowley materialized in front of you. He slowly crouched down to your level. Then looked at you, keeping his gaze soft and his tone gentle and reassuring.

 “Okay, love. The first thing you need to do is relax. I know that seems impossible right now, but I’m here. The King of Hell is here and there is no way I am letting you die. You just feel like you’re dying. You hear me? I assure you that you are, and you will be okay. Now you trust me, right?”

 You nodded.

 “Then let’s take a breath of that cool night air. You must be so hot. Let’s get some air in your lungs. Breathe in as slowly and deeply as you can. Concentrate on each breath, imagine the air going into your mouth, traveling down your throat and going into your lungs. Imagine your lungs expanding with the air. See the air going into your lungs. Now try that again. Keep imagining the air going inside your body.”

 Crowley reached out and held your hand squeezing it to remind you that you weren’t alone in this.

 “Close your eyes and think about nothing else but my voice. The voice of someone who cares about you deeply. I don’t give my number to just any girl. Now I want you to count back from 102 by threes. I know it seems a strange thing to ask, but you’ll just have to trust me. And we’ll do it together.”

 You nodded again.

 “102.99.96.93.90.87.84.81.78.75.72.69.66.63.60.57.54.51.48.45.42.39.36.33.30.27.24.21.18.15.12.9.6.3.”

 By the time you got to three, your breathing was already starting to improve. You were beginning to understand the purpose of the counting. Your mind had no time to focus on what was freaking you out. Counting backwards took all your concentration. Your heart was still beating fast and your breathing was still a bit labored, but better.

 “Good work dove. Now let’s talk about why you had a panic attack in the first place.”

 “I went on a hunt. Shouldn’t have been anything out of the ordinary. And it turned out there was a couple that needed help. But instead of one monster, there were three. I didn’t notice it until I was already in the building. I snuck in, weapon in hand like the guys taught me, and I thought everything was fine - til I turned around, and saw I was surrounded. I made it out alive. I saved the couple. But I nearly got myself killed.”

 “It was three to one, and you won?”

 “Yeah.”

 “I’d say that was a good hunt, no? Most hunters can’t take on three of anything by themselves. They’d call for backup and if they couldn’t, they’d be dead. But you, darling, you survived! That’s very impressive, love. You should be happy about that.”

 Your cheeks started to flush at his praise. It was impressive, actually.

 “Is there more?”

 “Yes. It was my first hunt. Sam and Dean were hesitant about letting me go but said yes because they thought I could protect myself. And then I almost died! I make a horrible hunter. I’m just a liability to them. I don’t deserve to hunt. Next time I might actually die. I’m useless.”

 “I’m going to stop you right there. You’re not useless, Pet. This was your first hunt, and you didn’t die - that’s the takeaway message. You saved the couple. You can’t compare yourself to Sam and Dean. They’ve been hunting since childhood! Look, you have only being hunting for one year and you are doing a great job. It’s their fault for not at least waiting in the car. This was your first solo hunt and you didn’t have backup. That’s on them.”

 He gave you a few moments to think about what he’d said before speaking again.

 “What would you tell a friend to do if she was feeling this way?”

 You sat there and thought for a bit. You imagined your bestie in your old life coming to you with this.

 “I’d tell her what you said. That she made it out alive and that it was only her first hunt. That she’ll get better as time goes on.”

 “Who knows, maybe the first hunt Dean was on, he messed up and had to have daddy dearest clean it up for him. No one is perfect when to comes to hunting. Hunting is a skill you learn and acquire over years. No one is born being able to hunt other creatures. There is always a learning curve, dove. The Winchesters taught you well, though. You survived, after all. But if you’d like, I can try and find you a martial arts trainer or a combat trainer. I can even arrange a meeting so you can speak with my surveillance team. They are very best at tracking, better than human hunter. My demons won’t be happy but I’m the King so they’ll just have to accept it.”

 The truth of his words struck you. It was like a cloud was lifted in your mind and the truth was coming out like sun after a rainstorm. It hunting was a skill, you simply needed more practice.

 You were beyond touched and a bit shocked that Crowley was offering his assistance, his resources to you. You had to admit - it just might be a good idea. You could learn surveillance and combat skills from demons, directly from the enemy. You could learn how they think. That could be more beneficial than Crowley might even realize.

 Crowley could see the wheels turning in your mind. Your breathing was close to normal now. He’d actually helped you. He was ecstatic that he could help you. That you trusted him enough to believe the words he was saying to you.

 The demon was beginning to realize how deeply he cared for you, and it was killing him to see you broken like that on the ground. He desperately wanted to hold you. But he had one last question to ask.

 “What do you want to do now?

 “I don’t want to go back to the bunker just yet.”

 Crowley tried to hide his smirk. You wanted to be with him. He would keep you safe from everything. This was his chance to take care of you and show you just what being with him could mean.

 “I don’t think I’m ready to face the Winchesters and their questions. I think I want to take a little break from hunting. Be around people I care about. And maybe pick up a few skills from your demons, gain some confidence before I go back.”

 “People you care about like whom?”

 “Like the man who, I’m guessing, dropped an important meeting to attend to his human. Thank you, by the way.”

 “You’re my human?”

 “If you’ll have me.”

 Crowley didn’t wait another second to grab your face and plant his lips on yours. His kiss was deep and insistent. With a flourish, he snapped his fingers, teleporting you both to Hell. He held you close in his arms as you drifted off to sleep, exhausted but relieved. This was going to be one hell of a break from hunting.

Tagging

Forevers: @atc74​, @purgatoan @killerofthesouth​, @charliebradbury1104​, @chaos-and-the-calm67​, @chelsea072498​, @everyday-supernatural-af​, @kalliravenne​ @toogardenenthusiast​, @winchesterprincessbride​, @one-shots-supernatural​, @take-me-tonirvana​, @hellsmother​, @ellen-reincarnated1967​@, @faegal04​ @deals-with-demons​, @mamaredd123​, @hamartiamacguffin

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