#can be seen as sisters

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[marenwithanm]

You know Zelda, most Links actually were children during their adventures. Breath of the Wild Link Georg who was over 100 years old was an outlier and should not have been counted

As you can see, I'm still not over the idea of a younger Link and older Zelda in alttp. She feels so bad about dragging a little kid into this whole mess 😭

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[utterdrip]

hello darling

[reversatility1]

Warrior Nun: Beatrice’s journey reconciling the mission with her love for Ava was beautiful to behold

[felonytaxevasion]

The thing about lore accurate Undersiders heights (which I rebuke whole heartedly) is that Wildbow made them all pretty tall. Like 5'7 (Alec and Aisha) doesn't seem super tall but they'd still be taller than most people. And Lisa Taylor Rachel and Giant Brian are all taller than them. But they're all pretty close so you see a line up and it looks like a normal group of human guys

However. You add Parian and Foil (5'0 and 5'3) to the lineup and you realize these guys are all string bean freaks. Sabbah and Brian would give themselves neck injuries trying to make eye contact

[thoughtfulchaos773]

We got that whack hug earlier then when Sydney parts from the hug first and walks towards the table and not even a second later his hands are still on her- he puts his hand on the small of her back as protection, reassurance, and guidance? He touches her back all the time, but since when did we get to the small of her back Carmen? The sign of affection - a gentlemanly gesture - something you do with a date!

[capybonara]

I come with more Sardon doodles because I wanna talk more about him and I'm having so much fun drawing these guys (you gotta be the cheerleader for your OCs!)

As stated in a previous post, hes the largest and oldest sibling out of six (Cironus, Kaska and three unnamed siblings). He's based off the wild orca who goes by Chainsaw due to the unique scarring on the dorsal fin!

Unlike Cironus and Kaska who are bards, Sardon is an orca pugilist! Orca's hunt by causing blunt force trauma on their prey so basically Sardon just solves most things with his fists! As I write this I missed the opportunity to make a Shoryuken joke with him hunting the lizalfos OH WELL

I also mentioned that I'd like to pair him up AND give him friends in general! This may or may not be an excuse to draw people's ocs and be part of a community again. People asked what his type is so allow me to info dump BELOW A CUT

HI THERE :D

OKAY SO

Sardon was a runt when he was a child but his mother, aunts, and grandmother protected him and kept him well fed. As he grew he became very rowdy, as a way to fight back from being picked on and to establish a position among his peers. When he was big enough, he found he enjoyed fighting/hunting monsters and then it kind of became a job for him. In a similar way that Kaska visits kingdoms and areas to see if they're welcome to stick around, Sardon goes around areas where his family plan to rest at and clears out any monsters.

Bloon Moon events are something he looks forward too because it means he can go hunting all over again!

But despite his job and rough childhood, Sardon is usually very quiet and reserved. His size and scars tend to have people make assumptions about his personality and so they steer clear. He's a bit jealous of the way Cironus and Kaska can make friends so easily, and it's why he likes hanging out with them so much. Their presence makes him look slightly less intimidating and he may be picking up pointers on how to socialize.

He's very supportive of their endeavors, and he's an excellent listener. When he's not picking fights, he'll be babysitting the young orca children and letting them talk his ear off. He's playing wingman to Cironus, getting lost in discussions with Kaska regarding kingdom politics. Sometimes they need an extra voice for their music and while Sardon doesn't play an instrument, he has a beautiful baritone!

When it comes to courtship, he's been extremely awkward so he gave up for a while and focused on his monster hunting work. He's been pressured by his mother and grandmother about courting since Sardon was a prime candidate for siring more healthy orca children. There isn't much prejudice against seeing those from other races among the zorca, but he knew it had to do with being a first born son.

Still, the idea of companionship is appealing. He has an appreciation for all races in Hyrule, and the same goes for his romantic preferences. He's more familiar with zora because of his family travels but he's run into others on land enough to have a respect for them.

When he's accompanying Cironus or Kaska, they help lower his defenses; he smiles more, he's making jokes with them, and he's able to read the cues from his siblings on who is friendly or not. But he knows he can't always tag along with his siblings and use them as a buffer.

When he's on his own, he tends to freeze when he encounters others, either in water or on land, and he's at a loss for words. To anyone else, he looks like a monster himself. And it eats him up inside because deep down he still sees himself as a trembling orca child. And he questions himself a lot. Did anything about him really change for the better? First being seen as a sardine to something considerably worse 😭

[s0fter-sin]

need soapghost in public putting on a show, soap in ghost’s lap just worshipping his mask, kissing the teeth and licking along the cheekbones while ghost reclines back, one arm wrapped around soap’s waist as he makes direct eye contact with anyone who dares to look at them

[howaboutjude]

There are only two appropriate reactions to the above scenario.

Which one are you?

[seagull-scribbles]

I want you to tell ‘em that you love the way that they don’t stick out like sore middle fingers

[Continuation of this]

[jesuis-snips]

LIES: Palestine is murdering civilians.

TRUTH: Palestine is expelling occupiers.

LIES: Palestine is attacking Israel.

TRUTH: Palestine is standing upon its rights in its own lands.

LIES: Hamas is giving Israel reasons to attack them.

TRUTH: Israel has already been attacking Palestinians without a reason for years. Every resistance counts and weakens Israel.

LIES: Israel is the victim.

TRUTH: Israel is suffering for its sins for the innocent children they have killed.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

god im just still thinking about pomme tho. she watched her dad forget who she was On Her Birthday. where has she gone to bed. did she leave bbh, crawl to aypierre's house and huddle into his side? to antoine's, to press against his robes and pretend they could hide her? to etoiles, still sleeping, but still keeping her safe. to baghera's empty tower. no on there to comfort her, no one there to distract her as she stays awake all night trying to figure out what to do. or maybe she didn't go to sleep at all. maybe she's still there with qbad, who we know doesn't sleep much, watching over him and anxiously awaiting his next memory lapse, waiting for the next thing to go wrong. she's just a fucking baby and it was her BIRTHDAY someone get her in a cuddle pile with all her parents Right Now

[z-1-wolfe]

torn between vaggie who was born and died a winner and vaggie who was heaven born

[espurr-roba]

strelitzia being in kh4 is everything to me, especially considering the true dandelion sitch. like the reasonable assumption is that this is strelly after being slain by darkness, quadratum is like her afterworld, that sorta thing. that on its own is fun bc, hey, more strelitzia! she's stranded in mortal limbo without any of her loved ones and that's something she and sora can relate with, it's already a terrific set up

but imagine if this is data strelitzia, the one in the white cloak that luxu sends off in the lifeboat. we know from melody of memories when apprentice xehanort's sending kairi off that ending up in unreality is assumed to be possible via the pods (see: "However, if you arrive in a world that's neither of light nor darkness, but somewhere on the other side, your task will be far from easy.")

picture you're a copy of the original person, with full knowledge that you're a copy, and between the both of you, you're the one that gets to live on as "you".

[musubiki]

lately ive been thinking about the contrast going on in Early Lime where hes like "tbh im pretty sure i could have any girl i wanted including mochi i mean i guess if she wanted we could give it a shot one day but i dont really care lol" and then very easily becoming completely unhinged for her the second he gets a tinge of romantic affection