#can be fun and scary and exciting in a good way and i am getting my heart beating fast more these days from giggling than anxiety attacks.

[septemberpdf]

everyday i am delighted by human connection

[arolesbianism]

Tiphereth suppression finally complete babeyyyy

[rockatanskette]

So, I've written before about how our relationship with predators would probably intimidate aliens, but I just pictured another way we interact with predators that is honestly just as scary from an outside perspective: we pretend to be predators and even make up new ones, all just for fun.

Now, we also adopt predator patterns for utility: wearing striped makeup for camouflage, imitating roars and bird calls, etc. But I'm specifically talking about the video I just saw from Creature Bionics of creature rigs designed for a human actor to better do motion capture. I'm talking about voice actors and sound designers creating new and terrifying clicks and roars and growls because lions' roars just aren't scary enough. I'm talking about adults dressing up as plush monstrosities to entertain sports fans and children. Gritty is terrifying, objectively.

One day at an early meal, human Janet seems confused when her alien crewmates start asking about a shape-shifting monster that they keep seeing in human culture. They ask her what it's like to live on a world with "dogjons;" animals that can shift from a fan-headed creature with eye-covered wings to an amphibious eel-like figure, humanoid but not human, to a death-pale monstrosity that chases anyone who dares get near its food. Human Janet is confused until they say that the pale figure has eyes in its hands; bloodshot, and glassy.

"Oh, Doug Jones! No, he's not a monster, he's just a really good actor. Too good—the Shape of Water awakened something in me, specifically."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's just say the lady 'mating' with him isn't a horror story, it's a fantasy." Human Janet says, like it's nothing. Then something seems to occur to her, and her eyes brighten with what the aliens are quickly learning is mischief. "Oh my god. Am I the one who gets to explain monster fucking?"

Elsewhere, an alien accompanies xis human friend on a day out with their young. There's some kind of show being put on for human youth and Xlibthar is excited for this insight into how humans get Like That. Imagine xis surprise when the lights go up on the entertainment platform and a horde of creatures rushes up. They are large and bright yellow, with big black eyes as dark as singularities, with bright red spots on their heads that clearly indicate venom. Xlibthar shrieks and shields xisself behind Akio and Hinata, sure that something has gone terribly wrong.

"What are those?!" Xlibthar demands, quaking in xis shoes.

"Those? Oh, they're just Pikachus." Akio does not seem even the slightest bit distressed, and five-year-old Hinata is absolutely losing her mind with excitement at the sight of these garish monstrosities.

"What. On Earth." Because this could only happen on Earth. "Is a Pikachu?"

"It's a Pocket Monster. It's a series about monsters that battle with each-other. Pikachu is a mouse that can shoot electricity out of its body."

Xlibthar stares at Akio, wondering if this is an example of what humans call "gaslighting," because keeping monsters in your pockets sounds too insane even for humans. And, "you bring these things around your CHILDREN??"

"I mean, they're not real." Akio puts his hands over Hinata's ears. "They're just people in costumes. Though Nintendo would never let you see one with its head off."

Xlibthar has many questions: why? What? How? What? But one question has been answered: if this is what entertains human youth, it is exactly why Humans are Like That.

[torialefay]

📞 “Bye Basket” 💬

bangchan x reader (f); drabble, fluff

✨summary: chan is leaving for tour, which means having to leave you behind. he makes sure to do for you what he can before he leaves.

✨wc: 900

✨warnings: none

• “Christopher, let me innnnn,” you pounded on the door of the bedroom you both shared.

• “Give me 1 more minute!” you heard him panic from inside.

• ‘What could he possibly be doing that he wouldn’t want me to see? I literally see his bare ass every day,’ you thought.

• He had been the perfect little boyfriend lately. Cooking meals, complimenting you 24/7, and making it a point to cuddle you for an hour every night. Hell- the two of you had just gotten back from a haunted house because YOU wanted to go. There’s no way Chan would have picked that shit.

• But he knew how much you loved Halloween. Even if he didn’t.

• He knew how this was your favorite time of the year. Even if it wasn’t his.

• And he also knew that he was leaving tomorrow. Even if he didn’t want to.

• Tomorrow he was headed out to begin his next world tour, and although you were so so proud of him, your heart hurt. How could it not?

• You actively tried not to think about it, but it was hard. You’d gone through it before, so you knew everything would be okay, but it definitely would not be fun.

• “Okay, okay, okay,” you heard Chan say as he waddled toward the door. He unlocked it and pulled the door wide open.

• “You good?” you asked, still confused as to what was going on.

• “Yeah, look!” he smiled, swooping both of his hands toward the bed in a grand gesture to focus your gaze there.

• You walked toward the bed to see a small basket resting on top. Inside of it was… laundry? Just a bunch of black clothes. Albeit very neatly folded black clothes.

• ‘Proud of him for that one I guess.’

• “What am I looking at?” you raised an eyebrow.

• “Wellll, I know you wanted a Boo Basket,” he tilted his head to the side and opened his eyes wide, putting on a look as if to say ‘See, I pay attention.’

“But I thought with me leaving, a Bye Basket would be a bit better.”

• You looked back down to the small basket in front of you. You carefully went through the contents.

◦ Your favorite of all of his black hoodies. You remembered how his ears had turned red when you told him how handsome he looked in it.

◦ A small roller ball of his favorite cologne. Classic Chan to get you your own. Hell, he loved it so much, he’d probably be excited if you just decided to wear it now. Scratch that, he’d love that his signature scent had become yours too.

◦ 3 packs of your favorite candy. I guess he was well-trained at this point. He immediately got them for you every time he went out to grab something- even if you specifically said you didn’t want anything.

◦ A heavy silver chain-link bracelet. You carefully examined it, thinking it was weird he’d think to give you this considering you already wore this exact one. The one he created that says “STAY” across the front. He wore it often too. ‘Weird’… You looked down closer.

No, this was a special one. It didn’t say “STAY.” Instead, in his own handwritten font, the inscription “CHRISTOPHER.”

◦ A small polaroid photo. It was one he had insisted on taking a few nights ago when you were cuddled up on the couch. He gave in and watched a scary movie with you. Obviously it was such a special moment to him that he was willingly watching one, so he needed it to be a memory.

◦ A black… battery? Charger?

• “What is this thing?,” you asked, looking up to Chan.

• “It’s a battery extender. For your phone! So even if you’re out all day, you can still answer my calls and let me hear that sweet voice,” he beamed, obviously proud of himself.

• “Channie, this is perfect. You didn’t have to do all of this!”

• “But I did. I’m so so so sorry I have to leave you, my love.” He sat down on the bed, pulling you along to sit on his lap.

• “I’m so sorry that my job takes me away from you, but hopefully this will help suffice until I get back.”

• You cupped his face and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll manage.” You couldn’t help but smile.

----

• After Chan had left the next day, you went home to sulk.

• First plan of action: put that hoodie on.

• As you unfolded it and went to throw it over your head, a white slip of paper fell out.

• The final gift in the basket: a letter.

◦ “If you’re reading this letter, then it means I’m probably gone. I want you to know that wherever I travel, a piece of your heart is always going there with me. I promise I miss you more than you will ever miss me. I can’t wait to get back home to you already. This isn’t goodbye for long. I will be back before you know it. Love you forever. -Channie.”

———————————————————————————

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[kjdkive]

accidentally revealing you're engaged — CL16

top actress! yn and f1 pilot! charles leclerc 

“you know, chloe, i am very scared of red carpets because it means interviews and questions and i hate them, why can’t we all just watch the premier in peace and in comfy clothes?” you ask your manager. 

“you talk a lot when you’re nervous.” she says. 

“i know and i am sorry.” you tell her. “i get anxious because you never know if they can twist your words. but whatever, i’ll be fine, right? like it’s nothing serious, right, chloe?” 

“we’re here.” chloe replies and waits for one of the bodyguards to open your door and let you walk out. “you’ll be fine.” she says before you get off the car. 

as soon as you get off you hear the screaming from the fans and you run to them so you’re able to take as many pics and sign as many autographs as you can before security tells you to stop. 

but the part that you loved the most is over, now is posing and then interviews. 

“yn! let us see the back of the dress!” you listen to the paparazzis and you turn around. you keep posing the way you’re being asked to, expecting for the pictures to maybe not look perfect but just fine. 

and the posing is over! now it’s the interviews. 

you’re 3 interviews down of 5 to go and your manager and your bodyguard are behind you supporting you, mouthing “you got this!” which makes you laugh. 

“hi, y/n, it’s so nice to meet you. i am kate and i am from know-it-all magazine.” 

you have to be honest, you had never heard from them. 

“hi, kate, nice to meet you too.” you smile at her. 

“i’m loving your dress, it fits perfectly! can you tell us who you’re wearing?” 

“of course, i am wearing a custom-made oscar de la renta which is a huge honour.” 

“are you excited to be here? i mean, you’re probably going to get asked out a lot because you’re a single woman now.” 

“uh, yeah…” what did she just say? this is what you didn’t want to happen, questions that are not normal and that you do not want to answer. 

“can you give a few tips to women who now are after charles?” 

okay. now you didn’t understand what was going on. what the hell is happening? 

“did you just ask me to give tips to women who like charles? as in what he likes and stuff?” 

“yeah, i mean, you broke up.” 

“we broke up?” you ask her, shocked. 

“yeah, that’s what everyone is saying.” she never stops smiling which is creepy and annoying you. 

“can you hold on a second?” you ask and she nods. 

you grab your phone from your pocket because yes, your dress had pockets. right now, a blessing and a curse. your manager was about to stop you but what you were about to do was going to be funny. you scroll a little bit through your phone, dial some number and put it on speaker.

“hey, charles! i’m on an interview and you’re on speaker, okay?” 

“hey, baby, yes, what’s up?” he giggles. “why are you calling me charles, though? did i do something?” 

“i think you did.” you laugh. “did we break up?” 

“what?” he asks, almost yelling. “did we?” he asks now more calmly but confused. 

“i mean, i don’t think so.” 

“as far as i know, babe, we’re engaged so you’re kind of stuck with me.” 

you roll your eyes laughing. 

“i know, right? thanks for letting me know though, i’ll call you later after i’m done, babe.” 

“m’kay, i love you!” 

“love you too, baby, bye!” 

you hang up and you look at the interviewer. 

“does that answer your question?” 

“it totally does. thank you so much, hope you have lots of engaged fun tonight.” 

“i will, thank you.” 

you start walking away from the camera but you hear chloe whisper to the interviewer: “she’s kind and naive but next time, ask better questions. just be thankful for now.” chloe could be a very scary person. 

“i think you’re going to go trending and you’ll also make a lot of money to that magazine.” chloe laughs. “good job.” 

“thanks? i guess.” you look at her. “charles fucked up, though, we were supposed to keep our engagement a secret.”

“you know how he is, he could never keep a secret.”  

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Ménage à trois | Billy Loomis x Reader x Stu Macher

Summary: A typical movie night at Stu's turns into a ménage à trois

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: smut, threesome, oral (m receiving), non protected p + v (this is the 90s), anal, any incoherence are part of the world of Scream...just enjoy the smut that took way too long to write

Request: Threesome with billy and Stu plsss There's barely any fics for them

I’ve been wanting to write something like this for a while, but I couldn’t find characters that fit (i tried so many!). This is my first Billy fic and it’s sort of exciting since I’ve been crushing hard on him (well, Skeet Ulrich) since forever. Although I like his character, I am not into Stu, so that was challenging for me to include him in the scene. I hope it's good enough!

—

The best thing about Stu’s house was that his parents were often out of town because of their job, making it the perfect spot for hosting huge parties without having to worry about parents coming home and ending the fun. It was also perfect for private parties.

Stu brought out a stack of VHS from the blockbuster while you made popcorn in the kitchen, getting ready for the horror movie marathon. Billy was out getting beer and other snacks, needing your sweets with the popcorn.

The kernels were almost finished popping and you felt someone press against your back, pulling you flush against them. The familiar cologne filled your nose and you leaned into Billy’s presence. He pressed his lips on your neck, distracting you from your popcorn duty.

‘’Stop, I’m gonna burn the popcorn,’’ you told him, trying to push him off you but Billy was not letting you go. ‘’Did you get the blue—’’

‘’— lollipop with the sour dip powder? Yes,’’ he confirmed. ‘’I also got a candy necklace and a roll of sweetarts.’’ Billy pulled them out of his jacket’s pocket and your mouth twisted into a smile.

After the popcorn was ready, you brought it to the living room and joined Billy and Stu who were already drinking beer and talking nonsense.

At least they had not started the movie without you.

‘’What are we watching first?’’ you asked, taking a seat on the couch.

Stu offered you a beer in exchange for a handful of popcorn. ‘’The Exorcist.’’

Although considered the scariest movie ever made, you wouldn’t say it’s scary. It was definitely iconic for the horror genre. Some scenes were a bit shocking and disturbing, but it didn’t keep you up at night.

‘’I’m gonna stuff you like that later,’’ Billy whispered beside you as the ‘best parts’, according to him, were not edited out.

The scene was in no way turning you on — that would be disgusting —, but his promise and the sultry rasp in his voice so close to your ear made your core tighten. You bit back a sound as he squeezed your thigh, a wave of arousal running through your body.

‘’What are you kids whispering about?’’ Stu asked, sticking his head in your and Billy’s personal space.

Billy shot a glare at his friend.

‘’Oh!’’ Stu smirked, figuring his line of thoughts. ‘’If you want to fuck, feel free to use my bed. Last door on the left.’’

The offer was tempting, but Billy declined the offer quickly.

‘’So your perverted ass can listen and jerk off while we fuck?’’ He shook his head, knowing his best friend a little too well. ’’Not happening.’’

Stu gasped dramatically. ‘’I would never do that!’’ Billy gave him a ‘I know you’ look, and he sighed. ‘’Okay, maybe I would, but that’s your fault for not letting me join.’’

A wicked idea crossed your mind. ‘’And what if we did? Let you join, that is.’’

The taller one’s brain short-circuited. ‘’W-what? You want me to join?’’

You shrugged, not seeing an issue. Him and Billy have been close friends for years and you’ve always secretly wanted to do it with another partner. This was your chance.

‘’If you’re in.’’ You looked at Stu, then Billy, needing both their approval. Although you were the one getting to experience them both, you didn’t want to force anyone into doing something they didn’t want.

‘’If I’m in?’’ Stu repeated. A grin spread on his face, excitement shining in his eyes. ‘’Babydoll, I’ve been dying to tap it.’’ He ghosted a hand on your other thigh, getting very close to your crotch.

It was no secret that Stu had his eyes on you — even while he was dating Tatum. You had caught him shamelessly staring at your breasts a handful of times. But you were his best friend’s girl, so he would never make a move on you…unless he was given the permission to.

‘’Don’t get too excited, she’s still mine,’’ Billy was quick to remind Stu, pushing him back on his side of the couch.

After making eye contact with Billy and silently agreeing to the plan, you detached yourself from your boyfriend and joined Stu, taking him by surprise when you crashed your mouth on his. The kiss didn’t match the perfect mix of tenderness and intensity of Billy’s kisses, but it wasn't less enjoyable. He expertly hooks his hands under your knees and drags you on to his lap, swallowing the gasp you let out into his mouth, lips never leaving each other. You subconsciously pressed yourself further into Stu as his hands ventured up the sides of your thighs, guiding you on his lap.

You didn’t mean to drag the kiss for too long, not wanting to give Stu all your attention, but you started feeling his cock stiffen beneath his jeans and took it as your cue to pull back.

He groaned in protest. ‘’It was starting to get good…’’

‘’We have all night, there’s no rush,’’ you told him, crawling back to Billy and kissing him in turn.

Unlike with Stu, everything was easy with Billy. You knew what he liked and how to get him going, and vice versa. You slipped your hands under his shirt, your palms covering the soft planes of his stomach and chest while his tongue caressed yours, causing you to let little moans and sighs slip into his lips.

Stu watched excitedly, feeling his cock twitch underneath his jeans. He never thought he would be so turned on by watching his friends make out.

You tugged at Billy’s shirt, trying to pull it off. He broke the kiss and you helped him discard it, crashing your lips back on his right after.

For a moment, you almost forgot that someone else was there, watching and waiting. You blindly reached behind you to wave Stu over. He scooted toward you and nipped at exactly the right spot on your neck while you started to rock your hips against Billy, feeling his cock press at your core even under his jeans and underwear. His hands moved to your hips, following your moves and eliciting a beautiful groan from him.

The temperature was quickly rising in the living room, so you undid the buttons and peeled it off, revealing your delicate bra. A mewl escaped Stu’s lips at the sight, dying to unclasp your bra and see those tits he's been dreaming about. He reached for it, but before he could, Billy smirked and undid the clasp with one hand, letting your bra slide off your shoulders and breasts.

‘’How does it feel to live your dream?’’ you teased your friend, turning to give him a better view.

His eyes zeroed-in right on your full breasts, glistening like a kid getting the toy he wanted on Christmas morning. Without saying anything, Stu cupped them, slender fingers kneading into your tits and thumbs rubbing your nipples into hard peaks. You threw your head back as the contact sent a jolt of pleasure through your body.

While you and Stu were having a moment, Billy loomed behind you and started working on the button of your pants as he attached his lips to your neck, suckling on one spot and leaving a hickey behind. Your head rolled back on his shoulder, your soft moans evolving into a choked cry when Billy’s finger found your clit. He grinned against your neck, his erection digging into your ass.

Screams came from the TV, but you paid it no attention — no one was listening anymore —, pressing into Billy as he continued rubbing his finger over your clit and causing more slick to pool in your panties. They’re gonna be fucking soaked by the time you take them off.

‘’Give Stu some pleasure, baby. He looks left out,’’ Billy said into your ear.

You nodded and reached down for the growing bulge in Stu's pants, grasping at the firm mass beneath the fabric, forcing a whimper to escape Stu's lips as he finally felt some form of stimulation.

‘’Ah, fuck,’’ Stu breathed out.

Before taking things a step farther, the three of you moved to Stu’s bedroom. Stu led the way, eager to get the 'party' started and get his dick wet. You and Billy followed behind, a laugh bubbling out of your lips when he scooped you by your thighs and threw you on his shoulder.

When your ass touched the bed, you grabbed Stu by the front of his pants, unzipping them and pulling out his hard, swollen cock. It was more lean and lighter in color, but with a nice mushroom tip. You stroked it up and down before playing with the tip, a glint of mischief in your eyes as you watched it glisten with a bead of pre-cum.

‘’Mmh, keep doing that, babydoll.’’

Billy snuck behind his friend, a knowing smirk on his lips. ‘’Wait until she’s got her mouth around you.’’

He glanced down at you and you got the hint, getting off the bed and on your knees as the tall boy quickly pushed his clothes down to his ankles, then shrugged off his sweater seeing as it was getting in the way. The sight alone made Stu slightly dizzy. It wasn’t every day that your friend brags about how excellent his girlfriend is at giving blowjobs and lets you try.

You grabbed him and kitten-licked at the leaky slit of his cock, licking up all the pre-cum that dribbled out and sighing as the taste of him landed on your tastebuds. Stu hissed, getting pleasure from the small attention to his sensitive tip.

Now that Billy had bragged about your skills, you didn't want to make him come off as a liar. You needed to give Stu a blowjob worth remembering.

You moved to lick a broad stripe on the underside of his cock, lips wrapping around the tip before taking him inside your mouth. Your hands flew to Stu’s hips to steady yourself as you took him deeper into your mouth, your warm mouth enveloping him, causing Stu to groan and slid a hand through your hair, keeping a grip at the back of your scalp.

On the left, Billy palmed himself over his jeans, the sight of his girl on her knees making him even harder. He rid himself of his jeans and boxers, wrapping his hand around his cock to stroke himself — and relieve himself — while he watched Stu’s cock disappear past your lips slowly. You bobbed your head up and down his shaft, making Billy wish it was his in your pretty mouth.

‘’What a little slut. Sucking your boyfriend’s friend's dick right in front of him,’’ Stu said, pushing you deeper on his cock and making your eyes water.

You took it all, letting him use you until his breathing fastened, getting close to cum. Your knees were starting to hurt on the wooden floor, but you didn’t stop and sucked Stu so hard he knew it was only a matter of time before your lips were covered in his come.

Once he did, you swallowed and released Stu’s cock with an audible pop, moving back with a sly grin, a string of saliva connected from your lips to his cock.

‘’Holy fucking shit!’’ he exclaimed as he released his grip from your hair and took a few moments to collect himself.

You glanced over at Billy, looking so pretty in his naked glory, and wiped your mouth.

‘’That’s my good girl,’’ he praised with pride in his eyes.

The corner of your mouth lifted up.

Billy pulled you up and swiped his thumb over your bottom lip, catching the little bit of cum and you wrapped your mouth around it, sucking it clean. ‘’Get undressed, babe.’’

You didn’t have much clothes left on, just your pants, panties and socks.

Then, you got on the bed and pulled Billy with you. His mouth magnetically found yours and you spread your legs to give him room to get closer. He rubbed two fingers along your folds and his cock twitched as they got wet with your arousal.

‘’Mmh, that sweet little pussy’s so wet,’’ Billy said against your lips, sliding two fingers inside and making you instantly moan. His fingers knew exactly where to go and what to do.

Your hands came up his shoulders, fingernails digging into his shoulder blades.

You felt the bed dip and Stu flopped on the bed, already getting hard again and wrapping his hand around his cock to stroke himself at the sight of you getting fingered. He couldn’t wait to be inside your tight wet pussy.

‘’Have you figured out who’s going where?’’ Stu asked, keeping his pace slow and steady.

Billy nodded, answering in your place as you grinded down against his fingers. He curled them, eliciting a series of mewls from you. ‘’You got any lube in here?’’ BIlly said over his shoulder.

Stu scrunched his face in mild disgust. ‘’Eh…no. Why the fuck would I have lube?’’

‘’For—’’

You forced yourself to hold your next moan. ‘’It’s okay,’’ you cut in. ‘’You…you’re good to go. I prepped before coming here.’’

Billy groaned, the thought of you prepping yourself making his dick twitch.

You had not planned for Stu to join, but you did plan ahead for a good night of sex with your boyfriend — including for anal. You didn’t do it very often due to the preparation it needed, but you liked it from time to time.

‘’I knew you wouldn’t have any on hand and I was not gonna let you stick it raw and risk ripping tissue. My ass is gonna be sore enough in the morning, I don’t want to sit on a bag of frozen peas like the first time,’’ you explained.

Stu looked between you and Billy. ‘’She’s let you in her backdoor?’’ he asked his friend, jealousy in his eyes. ‘’Tatum never lets me.’’

Billy grinned at you. ‘’Fuck, I love you.’’ He kissed you hard.

Stu situated himself on the bed, getting ready for you, and you climbed over his lap, facing him. You took hold of his dick and tapped the head of his cock over your clit to tease him, then down your folds, coating it with your slick.

Stu lowered his eyes to where your genitals were rubbing, cursing at the sight. ‘’Mmh, rub your sweet pussy on me.’’

You did it again and he smacked right over your clit, sending jolts of pleasure up your spine.

‘’Cut the teasing and get to it, will you?’’ Billy told the two of you.

He didn’t want to rush you, but he was the only one who didn’t get any preliminary care and he was starting to get impatient.

You nodded and lined Stu up at your entrance, secretly eager to know what it felt like inside you. You lowered yourself on his hard cock, swallowing him between your soaked folds.

Stu was unable to contain the groan crawling from the pit of his stomach as you finally bottomed out. ‘’God, you’re so tight,’’ he whispered. He felt every detail of you, from the way you clenched to your lower lips and your puffy bud just peeking from under its hood. A mischievous grin curled on his lips and he reached to rubbed your clit, making you moan and causing your walls to clench around Stu absentmindedly. ‘’Ahh, fuck.’’

Billy chuckled, knowing exactly what happened.

He came and positioned himself behind you. ‘’You good?’’

You nodded, rolling your hips and slowly riding Stu's length.

With a hand on your shoulder, Billy gently leaned you forward, getting you in a better position. He spat on his fingers and stroked himself a little, pre-cum mixing in, and lined it up with your ass, carefully slipping in and easing himself inside. It stung at first, making you curse Billy's girth.

‘’Fuck, you’re tight,’’ Billy gritted out.

He didn’t move, staying still as your body adjusted and then pushing more in. After a moment, the burning subsided, making its way into pleasure.

Billy gave the first thrust and sighed, feeling you tight around him. ‘’This is even better than last time.’’

Beneath you, Stu figured it was okay to do the same and thrust up, eliciting a soft moan from your mouth at the simultaneous sensations. You had never felt more full.

‘’How does that feel, babydoll?’’ Stu asked, watching your face twist with pleasure.

‘’Feels so fucking good. So fucking full.’’ You rocked back against Billy, signaling for him to go again.

He did and soon enough, Stu was snapping his hips up and ramming into you at fast speed while Billy grabbed firmly at your hips and drilled into you, your loud moans echoing through the four walls of the bedroom. Your body was in overload, every sense heightened, every feeling magnified.

‘’Fuck, right there!’’ you cried, throwing your head back as Billy smacked your ass cheek.

‘’You take our cocks so well,’’ Billy praised, seeing both himself and Stu slip in and out of your holes, eliciting a series of mewls from you. ‘’Looking so fucking good stuffed like that.’’

Unable to form words, you just moaned.

You would have wanted the intense pleasure to never stop, but all good things had an end. You gave the boys a warning that you were about to cum and, just as you were about to conclude, your walls clenched around Stu and he spilled inside you, joining you in your orgasm, cumming all over his cock as Billy continued his assault on your ass before following shortly.

You fell against Stu’s chest, completely and utterly exhausted. A wince of discomfort stretched across your lips when Billy pulled out. He smiled as he watched his cum slip out of you and dripped down to where Stu's softening cock was still inside you.

—

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[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi, i'm fourteen and i have this friend who asked me if i wanted to try eating her out. not a girlfriend, a friend. i don't have any feelings for her but i do think she's gorgeous and she's probably the best friend i have and the most mature 14 year old i know. i trust her a lot. im definitely not opposed to trying to give her head, either. i'm just worried it might be a bad idea, and i'm anxious that i won't do it right and she won't even feel good. i definitely don't want to have sex this early but does giving someone else head even count as real sex? she wouldn't really be touching me at all, except for she did say she'd want us to make out before i did it, though i'm not entirely sure why, but i am okay with it. i'm also worried about, like, STDs, because i've never been with another person like... sexually, i've kissed other people but i haven't in a while. but i think she might have done stuff with people? i don't know how recently. like... i don't know, do you think this is a really bad idea and we're too young or is this fine? how do you even eat someone out, like, what do you do? sorry if this is annoying i just really need an adult to ask about this and it's not like i can ask my parents since i'm not really supposed to do this.

hi anon,

thank you for asking! I'm really grateful to be an adult that you trust enough to talk with about stuff like this. it's not annoying, and I'll do the best I can to give a helpful answer based on everything you've told me.

I think maybe, in your case, this might not be a great idea right now. it sounds like there's a lot about this situation that makes you nervous in a way that's not fun - the kind of nerves that come from being excited to connect with a new person are one thing, but I'm hearing much more anxiety than excitement in the way you're talking about this.

oral sex (using your mouth) definitely counts as real sex - it's definitely not just putting a penis in a vagina! - and can be just as intimate and emotionally complicated as any other kind of sexual expression. you said you don't want to be having sex at your age - which is totally normal, and completely your choice to make! - and that includes oral sex as well, so maybe it's best if you sit this one out for the time being.

I want to be super clear that I'm not saying this out of any sense that no people your age should be sexual; I think wanted sexual exploration between young teens can be a great way to start exploring sexuality and finding what feels good! but that doesn't mean that every teenager has to be having sex, or that they're immature if they don't. people are ready to explore sex at lots of different ages (and some people never do at all), and none of them are weird or wrong. you could feel totally different in ten years, one year, a month, or even a week, but right now you don't feel ready, and what you feel right now is what's most important.

holding off until you've had time to learn more about sex may also help, because every situation is less scary when you feel more prepared. (it's why they make you spend so many godforsaken hours practicing driving before you can take the test to get your license.) in the spirit of learning, I want to share some resources about some of the things you had questions/concerns about.

this page on Planned Parenthood's website talks about lots of different kinds of sexually transmitted infections (STIs, also frequently called sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs), including how they're spread and how to treat them. I don't want to make STIs sound scary - I recently wrote a whole post about how they really shouldn't be! - but because it is important to know what risks there are if you plan to be sexually active so that you can do your best to minimize those risks, and what to do if someone does catch an STI. an important thing to remember is that, at your age, it might be difficult for you or your friend to get tested for STIs without help from your parents, which may be awkward and unpleasant or totally impossible if you're unable to tell them why you need a test in the first place. that's an important factor in deciding whether or not to have sex!

additionally, here's some info about dental dams, which are basically condoms for oral sex - they're a flat piece of latex, like a condom that got rolled out, that goes between the mouth and the hole.

and to help with your question about how going down even works, I recommend this video by sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe. you won't be seeing any real genitals in this video, although there is a drawing and some nude Barbies, and you'll probably want to listen with headphones unless you're alone. there are also links to more of Dr. Doe's videos on the topic.

and lastly, for more thinking about this topic, I want to direct you to Scarleteen's answer to help figure out when you're ready to start having sex, which is very good on its own and has links to some other good reading on the topic. Scarleteen is a great resource specifically designed and run to help answer teenagers' questions about sex without judgment, and I recommend them very heavily.

I hope that this has been useful, and helps you feel empowered to make whatever decision is best for you.

[babiebom]

Hey brother, I am humbly requesting a SDV Sam (or Alex) fic about the harvest festival & the fortune teller. I just think it’s a cute idea to see what the fortune teller says to Sam before/after meeting the farmer

A/N: this is such a cute idea!! Since this is more of a one shot request I can do both on this post? Hopefully by the time you see this it isn’t too far into the future!! Hopefully you enjoy how I wrote this!! Sorry it took a little while!

Genre:oneshot, fluff, some angst.

Tw:mention of death, mention of depression/insecurities, cursing, 2 mentions of the war that goes on in the game.

Wc: 0.5k for Alex / 0.5k for Sam

Sdv Masterlist

Alex

Alex was never one to go visit the fortune teller. He simply doesn’t really believe in magic, or the ability to see the future. Sure, there was the weird wizard that lived near the forest, and the monsters that live in the caves, but those were just outliers and didn’t have anything to do with the general population. The first and only time he went to it as an adult, was with Haley. He hated his fortune then, it tore down all his dreams and put him into an even more insecure place than he was in before.

No mom, no dad, and aging grandparents and now the woman in the tent is telling him that his current girlfriend isn’t his soulmate or the one he will end up with, and they’re saying his gridball career won’t take off and he’s going to end up in Pelican Town for the rest of his life? Actual dogshit.

It’s his own fault that he asked in the first place, he thinks. Haley wasn’t too mad with her fortune, and she didn’t seemed all that torn up about the fortune teller saying they weren’t meant for each other. It just pissed him off even more. Did this mean they were going to break up? Should they? Did he even have to listen or believe the fortune teller? It was probably just bullshit anyways, a scam to get idiots to spend more money to find out their future because she scared them. He’s never doing the stupid fortune thing again!

“Let’s do the fortune teller!” Your eyes are shining so brightly with excitement that he can’t say no. Obviously he hates the damned scam, and he didn’t have to agree but he liked you too much to disagree with visiting the woman one last time.

You shove him inside first, already looking through your backpack for your coin bag. “You go first.”

He swallows and steps up to the woman, glaring at her openly. She makes no move to react to his obvious discontent, instead waiting for him to dish out money so she could say something else to crush his hopes and dreams. At least you’re in here with him to hear what actual bullshit this is…you’re kicked out of the tent while he’s getting his fortune read.

“Hmm…I see you in the town’s square…it looks like you’re receiving a mermaid pendant. Looks like someone wants to marry you!”

“Marriage? To who?” He hopes that it’s you. You weren’t really in a relationship right now, but he does hope that it’s you giving him that pendant.

“Hmm…you’re watching a gridball match with the other guys in town…looks fun! It seems like you’ve brought everyone together.”

“The crystal ball has moved on…I see you and the farmer. You’re laughing together on the beach, looks like you’re holding a ball. The way you’re going it looks like you two are quite close! Ah…the crystal ball has gone dim. That’s all I can do for you, young one.”

Stepping out of the tent, Alex somehow feels better. He’s going to get married at some point, and you and him are going to be on good terms for a while. Maybe the fortune teller isn’t totally uncool.

Sam

The fortune teller was one of the creepiest attractions of the fair to Sam by far. Magic was something that he thought was cool, inspiring even, but that doesn’t mean he wants anything to do with it. Him, Abigail, and Sebastian get their fortunes read every single year, paying attention to whatever has changed, what has and hasn’t come true. It’s fun and sometimes a little scary when things turn out how the fortune teller said it would.

Abigail liked it the most out of the three. The year before he meets you is the first time in a while that his fortune had changed. The woman had said specifically that “someone was coming to the valley that would bring the budding success of his music.” All he really heard then was that his music career was going to take off at some point, and that’s all he really needed to keep working towards his goal.

You hold his arm tightly as you walk around the fair along with Abigail and Sebastian. It’s your first fair since you’ve come to Pelican Town, and Sam is all too willing to show you around. Besides, Pierre was probably going to win the stupid competition, again, and he wanted to be able to support you closely. Not because he has a crush or anything (he does), he’s just a good friend! “We should show the Farmer the fortune teller! See if they get a good one or not!”

This starts your groups trip to the tent. You seem a bit anxious about getting your fortune read, so like the good friend Sam is, he offers to go first and tell everyone his fortune to show you it isn’t so bad.

The woman smiles at him as he enters, and he immediately returns her positive energy. She always said good thing(except when she predicted his father was going to be deployed because of the war) so he liked her. He paid her quickly and watched as the crystal ball begins to glow.

“I see you performing on a small stage, the person who is going to support your music career is front and center. They are going to be the reason that you are performing so passionately. They buy some of your cd’s to help support you.”

He wonders for a second if that’s you. He had been feeling a little more inspired since you came around, and you never hesitated to praise him and his music when you get a chance to listen to him play in his room. “Hmm…I see you in a big house, something is playing on the television. The children seem excited about whatever is playing, so do you and the farmer. They’re smiling so brightly at you, don’t let them lose that light.”

It absolutely has to be you. He wonders what you’re so happy about, and who the kids are. Are they your kids? Maybe his mind is going too far, especially since a relationship wasn’t mentioned.

“The crystal ball is shifting…your father returns from war. He is safe, and unharmed…but he is not the same as he was. It seems that he is unhappy…oh…”

The crystal ball grows dim, maybe the last bit wasn’t totally good, but the rest of it was. He gets to perform, and you’re there cheering him on. His heart thumps as he exits the tent and meets your eyes. The way you’re looking at him is so bright. He feels excitement full his body, he has so much to look forward to.

[justmeinatree]

Oh, I Think She Said

Summary : a tooth rotting harryween treat.

Word Count : 1k

A/N : this is the cheesiest thing i’ve ever written, i dont know whether to love it or hate it

“you can’t be scary for shit !” you laugh, playfully smacking harry’s arm. 

you loved halloween, it was by far your favourite holiday. and being able to celebrate it with harryween was the icing on the cake. 

you did have a self imposed rule though, that you needed to have the opportunity for some kind of horror makeup, seeing as your night costume was matching with harry and “this was a family show,” so harry didn’t want to be scary on stage.

so now here you were, spending your day with harry around the stadium, both of you sporting some kind of freaky makeup, as he had insisted that you do something for him as well. 

the opportunities where harry lets you sit down with him and paint his face whichever way you want, are some of your favourite memories with him. he’s so trusting and fun loving, never wanting to know what you have planned, waiting for the surprise reveal, every time. in the end, he’s always so pleasantly surprised. looks himself over, admiring the details you’ve put in. and that’s just one example of when you really see the love he has for you, through the reflection in the mirror.

but right now, you wanted the photo that was being taken to match the vibe of the makeup and well, not a single bit of harry really matches the spookiness that is this makeup. he’s just a giant teddybear with black smeared on his face.

harry laughs, putting his hands up in defence before his strength takes hold over you, arms wrapping around your entire body, pinning you tightly to him.

you wiggle in his grip, trying to break free, but you both absolutely knew you weren’t going anywhere. harry’s much stronger than you are. you feel his lips pressing to your neck, his lips parting for his tongue to poke out, tasting your skin. “not letting you go until you apologize to me,” he murmurs against your ear and you can hear the smirk on his lips.

for a quick moment, you cuddle back into him, eyes closing, focusing on harry’s mouth against your neck. you faintly hear the clicking of a camera, photographer taking a few shots for you both, before someone else comes to whisk you away. the show was nearing, you needed to get into your costumes.

fluttering off hand in hand, you both end up in harry’s dressing room, washing off the dark makeup, going through an endless amount of wipes. your eyes focus through the mirror, on the costumes behind you, a flash of nervousness etching itself on your face. 

harry notices, about to say something before hearing you, “do you think they’re gonna get it ?”

“mine alone ?” harry hums pensively, “maybe not. but it’s planned that the camera will flash to you, remember ? your costume really completes it. s’that why you’re nervous ?”

you shake your head, you had gotten used to the cameras a long time ago. “aren’t you nervous,” you ask quietly, looking up at him. 

“have you seen what i’m wearing ? of course i’m nervous. nervous my prick’s gonna fall out,” he laughs, trying to lighten the mood. and it does work as he managed to pull a breathy laugh from you. but the worry is still present in your eyes.

“you know it’s time sweetheart,” he hums softly, smiling reassuringly at you. “can’t keep wearing this forever,” he nods towards you. “gotta let people know eventually.”

“i know,” you take a big breath, nodding. “i’m excited to tell everyone. i really am. but it’s still a bit scary, you know ?”

harry nods at that, leaning over to kiss the tip of your nose, then your lips, “i understand. and yes, i am a bit nervous too. but it’s a good nervous, yeah ?”

“mhmm,” you nod, kissing him again for a moment before he pulls away.

“right, can’t be late. lets do this baby,” he smiles, getting up with you and bringing you over to the clothes rack. you watch harry strip his robe off, as you do the same, both of you putting on your costumes.

they were fairly simple, but obvious none the less. you do take the time to laugh with harry as he slips on his tiny yellow shorts. christ, you really do hope tonight doesn’t end in a wardrobe malfunction. scary makeup would be far more appropriate for a family show.

fortunately for you, and in the spirit of harryween, the setlist has been altered. seeing as harry thought it to be totally unfair for you to be backstage for the entirety of the show, as the third song was coming up, a few notes from kiwi can be heard blaring through the speakers.

the crowd goes crazy, shocked to be hearing it so quickly in the set. harry’s spotted you, by the barricade, next to the security man you had both arranged this with. 

he makes it through the first verse, chorus, second verse, and as the second round of the chorus comes up, harry changes up the lyrics, belting out, “she’s having my baby !” 

and he’s pointing at you, the camera panning in your direction, as harry’s running up the catwalk to get to you. 

there you are, on the big screen, jumping around and singing along, in your juno costume, and beginnings of a baby bump on full display, having gone with a fairly tight striped tshirt. this was your first opportunity to go out without a sweater in almost a month now, and you were revelling in it. harry’s costume of bleeker now making perfect sense to the crowd. although so far, it wasn’t like anyone minded his little yellow shorts.

the crowd was screaming, absolutely losing their minds, chanting excitedly. the camera panning to some fans with tears in their eyes as harry’s now made it to where you are, smiling wider than you think he ever has, dimples etched deep in his skin, blowing you kisses.

you can see the adoration, excitement, pride, joy, how deep this moment is hitting him as he can hear, can see, can feel almost 100 000 people radiate excitement and pride and joy right back at him.

the song comes to an end and the crowd is screaming so loud, harry doesn’t get the opportunity to address them right away.

as things quiet down just a bit, he chuckles into the mic, “look at my beautiful girl. i’m gonna be a dad !”

……

Masterlist

tags : @gorlsinmultifandoms @cc-horan

[wayfayrr]

hiiiiiiiii

can I have some mulled wine and a bit of Bailey's with Red Velvet to eat in please!

Thank you!!!

Order up! I hope you'll find this to your tastes <3

The first written piece of the event then!! starting off strong with one of my favourite links, wars! this was fun to write and a lovely first request to work on <3

[Event masterlist]

How much has he drank?

We were only supposed to have a couple of drinks here before heading to the room we rented upstairs. I mean Twilight did warn me beforehand that he noticed humans have a much higher tolerance than hylians do, but his can't be this much lower… can it? 

“[name]... [name] I can’t believe you’re still single you’re so - so…”

“I’m in a relationship wars, you already know that, you drunken dork.”

“You- you’re taken?”

He’s on the verge of tears, he looks so worked up that he’s driving himself to cry over this. He really is in love with me that much, I really did get lucky with him. Falling into another world really doesn’t feel as scary when you find yourself a lover even if they can get a bit clingy at times. 

“Well yeah of course I am, I’m taken by you link. We’ve been dating for a month.”

“We have..? OH, we - we-  yeah we have been!”

“Come on wars how much of a lightweight are you to forget that after just one or two drinks? It’s like you don’t even want to be with me like that.”

I - I shouldn’t have said that, even as a clear joke it looks like it’s hurt him way more than I ever wanted it to. The tears are still there but now both his lip is quivering and his fists are clenched so tight they’re bleached white which really isn't a good look when you add in the fact that he's swaying on his feet. There couldn’t be a clearer sign to get him out of here to sleep and sober up. 

“I didn’t mean that link, I was just trying to make a dumb joke without thinking, I’m sorry.”

“..!”

“I know, I know link. Come on let's get out of here.”

Hylians are so much lighter than they have any reason to be, even with him clinging to me like an absolute dead weight he weighs nothing. So while it might be a little awkward at times when he tries to pick me up, I'm more than thankful seeing as it means I can easily rest his head on my shoulder to carry him out. 

Leaving was strange though, seeing as several people started to point and get riled up. Even through his own drunkenness link managed to tilt his head just enough to look up. 

and start grinning?

He might even be blushing too, but there's no way to tell that with how flushed he is anyway. He's so smug about something, I can't help but look at him with a bit of confusion.

“We -hic- we're under the mistletoe honey, does your world not… not have mistletoe?”

“No we have mistletoe, it's got a tradition arou- oh.”

That’s why he’s cuddling up to and laughing at me, we’re standing under the mistletoe. Is it bad I’m almost nervous about kissing him like this? With all these people watching me, watching us, I just feel so unsettled. With the joke I made earlier though, it would be downright cruel to turn him down. “I’m guessing that it’s similar here then? The tradition that is… would you like me to kiss you here link?”

“Is th-that even something you need to ask? I want everyone - everyone here to know that you’re mine.”

Yes, he does. His body language is just as blatantly obvious about it too. Come on [name], you’ve kissed him before, this isn’t something new. He’s so excited too. Could you dare turn him down? Not that I needed to answer that. He decided for the both of us while I was still coming to terms with the idea, seems I was just taking too long in his eyes. 

It’s a nice kiss, not as gentle as when he’s sober but it’s still so tender. Even with the alcohol on his breath, the way he’s acting is nothing short of a clumsy display of worship. One that he seems so reluctant to end, but comes to one anyway as he’s exhausted himself not enough to pass out but enough that he’s let his head fall onto my shoulder yet again. It’s almost inconsiderate of him to expect me to carry him after a kiss like that, he knows how weak I get for him, how much I melt when he’s so tender and demanding of my focus. 

“Is that enou-enough to prove that I care?”

“Wars you didn’t need to prove that to me, I already knew that you do.”

“Wanted to prove it t’ eve’yone else too.”

It’s like he’s considering doing it again, which I wouldn’t mind, but if he does I know I’ll drop him so it’s really for the best that he at least waits till he’s sitting down, in our room preferably. He’s gotten the hint for now, but that might only be because he’s to drunk to move again. Either way I can carry him away from the crowd. 

“Why’ve you gotta do that love? There’s no chance of me ever leaving you for any of them.”

“That’s not how they saw y’... I wouldv’ killed him for how he was talkin bout you… didn’ wanna cause a sce- scene though honeybeeee…”

Link would kill someone for me? I would like to think he wouldn’t ever have a nightmare of doing that, but if he’s saying it so confidently when he’s drunk…. He wouldn’t, would he?

“You don’t need to ever kill someone for something like that, don’t stress yourself out link.”

“Already have… don’ like when they’re rude about you love…”

That made me freeze up, right when I was about to open the door. It has to be the alcohol talking. Yeah it has to be. It has to be.

@sketchyspook seeing as you asked so nicely to be tagged in every post from now on (is this an unofficial start to a taglist? I guess it is one.)

[osleeplessflowero]

-🎃Scares and a Sudden Friendship🪓-

yes i am aware it is no longer halloween and it is now december. after this oneshot i will exclusively focus on winter themes, but i just HAD to get this idea out. Horror belongs to Sour Apple Studios. Reader goes by They/Them pronouns as always. 🧡 Warning for swearing! Horror goes by Sans here since this is in a Horrortale Post-Pacifist exclusive timeline.

It's a cold Halloween night.

You and your boyfriend decided to go to a Haunted House for the occasion after you finally managed to pester him enough.

"C'mon, c'mon! Hurry up!" You walk hurriedly along the sidewalk in your shark onesie, spotting the closest Haunted House that's covered in decorations, lights, and signs. Your boyfriend following slowly behind.

"I'm coming, jeez. I don't get why you get so excited over all this. We're grown now. This is kid stuff." He looks bored, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He didn't even dress up for the occasion, just wearing his normal fall clothes to keep warm.

"Hey, Halloween is fun for all ages." You point at him accusingly. "Besides, we can finally have some fun together tonight! You've been so busy doing your own stuff and I've missed you a lot, so this is a perfect chance to-"

"Yeah yeah..let's just get this over with. Maybe if we're lucky we can get some candy little kids dropped." He stomps on some old wrappers. Jeez..such a buzzkill. Oh well, he won't ruin your fun in here! You're sure his mood will turn around once you both get inside.

You both reach the entrance, you practically bouncing with excitement while your boyfriend seems to be distracted by some of the scare actors passing by.

You're both eventually let in after signing a slightly concerning waiver, walking inside. You admire the decorations and care put into the environments, occasionally having little jumps when animatronics pop out at you which just results in laughter afterwards. Your boyfriend on the other hand looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here, rolling his eyes at some of the scares and pulling out his phone at one point.

Truth be told, the last few months haven't been..ideal with him. You've hardly had any time together and when you finally do he just ignores you or seems like he doesn't want to be there. You've started to wonder if he even really wants to be your partner anymore..

You shake your head. Now is not the right place to be thinking about that. You should be having fun!

You greet some of the scare actors, having more fun than fear. You assume this is what happens to most people with Bravery souls. There's a large variety of them, some monsters, some humans. All of them doing a very good job!

You both make your way through an escape room section, you doing most of the work. You finally find the key, unlocking the door.

"Here we gooo, next room, woo!" "Yaaay."

The next room you enter is filled with props like mannequins and hanging objects that are meant to look like ghosts.

You cling to your boyfriend's arm, feeling unsettled as you both progress. He actually seems to tense up this time as well, looking around. It's quiet in the room..you feel a chill go down your spine.

You make your way down a small hallway that leads into the next area, jolting when a tall monster jumps out at you both with a fake hatchet. You jump back, your boyfriend screams, pushes you aside and..runs off. Without you.

You stare in the direction he ran off in, eyes wide in disbelief.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" You put your hands on your head, feeling tears start to prick at the corners of your eyes.

He just..left you.

He ran off without you in a scary unfamiliar location.

He abandoned you.

You try to hold back your tears when a bony hand rests on your shoulder. You look up to see the scare actor lifting up his mask, revealing eyelights with one empty and the other having a bright red circle in it, focusing on you.

"...don't waste your tears over that guy. 's okay." His voice is deep, a comforting sound to hear in a way. It's oddly soft despite his sharp appearance. You try not to look at that large cracked hole in his head. He probably appreciates that.

He raises up the other hand, wiping your tears away.

"I am so breaking up with him." "yikes. that guy's your boyfriend? some partner, leaving your datemate in an unfamiliar place alone." "Not anymore. I'm dumping him." "good call." "..Could you maybe..show me where the exit is? I don't really have the drive to go through here all by myself." You hold your arm shyly.

"i'll do you one better." He holds out his prop hatchet, handing it to you.

You look at it then at him, raising a brow.

"let's go scare the shit out of him."

You grin wide, taking the hatchet from him as he goes to pull his mask back down.

The two of you run out of the room and the moment you spot him you start SPRINTING, the skeleton following close behind.

The moment he finds the exit the two of you burst out laughing, taking a few seconds to compose yourselves.

"So..I'm gonna be removing his number from my phone..any chance I could have yours, stranger?" You point finger guns at him.

He seems surprised for a moment, before simply lifting his mask back up and smiling.

"just call me sans. nice to meet'cha." He gives you his number and you make sure to save it. "You too, Sans. Would you like to..I dunno, go get coffee or something? I'd like to get to know you." "i wouldn't mind. how does tomorrow sound?" "Great."

The two of you smile at each other before Sans' boss tells him to get back to work, and you wave goodbye before sending a text to your boyfriend to tell him you want to talk.

Part 2

[age-of-play-i-say]

Sentence prompts, huh? Well, never let it be said that I'm not predictable...

"Oh sweetie - if you can't hold it anymore, just do your tinkles on teddy..."

-🐻⚡️

CG and potty-training Little are heading home from what was supposed to be a quick Saturday afternoon errand run: dropping things at the library, stopping by the grocery store, and then picking up some Thai food for tonight. Because they had meant to be out for 90 minutes, 2 hours tops, CG allowed Little to wear big kid undies, just this once! Little was so excited, they have yet to be out of the house with no padding since the potty training started! This will be their first test, and they're determined to prove themselves as a big kid. CG even asked them at the restaurant if they needed to go. Little knew home was a 10 minute car ride away, so they said no. They wanted CG to have no excuse to diaper them up for every outing like this. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans, and the two of them get stuck behind a car accident caused by some serious surprise road construction. No escape routes, no turn offs, no diapers, let's go.

CG: Whoa, what's going on up here? This wasn't here on our way down to the store.

Little: looks scary daddy!! *clutches teddy tightly* shiny stuff all over da road. . .

CG: Pieces of the car, yeah. Wow, looks like the clean-up crew just got here. We're gonna be sitting for awhile, Baby. Here, why don't you enjoy your bubble tea and watch a little Emperor's New Groove on Daddy's phone?

Little: really Daddy?? *bouncing in their booster seat*

CG: Yes, you've been so good for me and I don't want the accident to scare you. Go to your happy place, sweetie, I’ll call you back when we're ready to move.

10 minutes later:

Little: drinkie all gone Daddy! *wiggling with teddy* we almos goin home??

CG: Not yet, Baby. Looks like it's pretty complicated up there. Good job with your drink! Are you doing okay with your movie?

Little: *wiggling faster* hh- mm-hmm! how much longer till home??

CG: I don't know yet, Baby. Be patient for Daddy, okay?

10 minutes later:

CG: I know it's not fun, Baby, but it's gonna be okay, looks like the crew is about halfway done with their work. Can you keep being good for Daddy?

Little: umm!! wanna be good, wanna be big kid!! but um!! *hides face in teddy and plunges one hand down to hold tight against their baby parts, sniffling*

CG: Oh no! Does my sweet Baby need to make tinkles? And you were doing so well with your big kid undies, too!

Little: *crying and potty dancing in their seat with their hand on their undies* no fair!!!! ‘s no fair, Daddy, am a big kid!!! b-but needa make tinkles!! emerg-*hiccups, begins to wail* emergency!!

CG: Oh Sweetie, - if you can't hold it anymore, let's just do your tinkles on Teddy. Here, I’ll take him. Lift up your tush off the seat. Shhhh, it's okay, we’ll wash him at home.

Little: ahh! hhh teddy feels good, Daddy!! *wiggling and sniffling* woulda m-made it!! stupid cars!! stupidt road!! *crying louder again*

CG: I know it, Baby. This won't count against you for future big kid clothes, okay? For now, we gotta get those tinkles out before they start hurting. Come on, sweetie, you can do it. Can you show Daddy how you’d make peepee in your big kid potty at home?

Little: y-ye Daddy *reaches out to cling to Daddy's hand and sniffles once more before a loud hissing noise fills the car* ahhhh - m-makin peepee Daddy!! mmm teddy all wet!

Daddy: There we go, good Baby! That's Daddy's good, sweet Baby. Oh, that sounds like it feels good, sweetie. Are you feeling better?

Little: almos done peepee Daddy feels so good! *stream finally slows to a trickle and then stops while Baby shivers* hhhah all done tinkies!!

Daddy: And it looks like we’re moving again! Good job, Baby! Tell you what. You're right, that wasn't fair, and you didn't make a mess in your carseat. We’re calling this a success!

Little: really?? thank Daddy!! *bouncing on Teddy until Teddy squelches, then a little whimper*

Daddy: We’ll be home in 10 minutes now, Baby, but I have a question for you. Big kids get to choose, so when we get home, do you want to be cleaned up and keep wearing big kid undies? Or do you want soft, cozy protection after all of that? Keep in mind you won't have Teddy to snuggle for a few hours while I clean him up.

Little: ohh umm *hides face in hands* wan diapies Daddy, please!

CG: Of course, sweetie. You can wear your diapers, Daddy understands.

[tobyislame]

Hi this is awkward s/o person again, you have fueled my toby brain and I'd like to make another request (if you're willing)

What would he be like with his s/o on Halloween? Does he dress up with them, get candy, or maybe stay home and watch scary movies with them? And very important question...if he dresses up, who would he dress up as?

toby rogers x reader: HALLOWEEN EDITION!!!!

welcome back friend!!! i will always be willing i love your requests!! OHOHOHO i am going to get soo silly with this one

- toby goes fucking BALLISTIC over halloween oh my god. it's the only time of the year where he can go into town and just be normal. everyone's got masks on, everyone's donning costumes, so he blends in like butter on bread. being able to exist in a public space without so much as a dirty look is fucking elating, it's one of the only graces of normalcy that he gets and he milks the opportunity for everything its got. what most would treat like any other day, he treats like a paragon. for one night he isn't toby rogers, wanted dead or alive - he's just some guy.

- he's suuuper fucking annoying about it too. he wants to do ALL the halloween stuff and he WILL drag you along with him whether you want it or not. his mansion buds aren't exempt from this treatment either no one is safe

- before night falls and the real fun begins, you guys are staying in and he's making SURE you have a good day. he's got those cheap halloween cookies in the oven (you know the ones they got pumpkins on em), his place is done up with lights and tacky dollar store decorations, and he's got a pot of apple cider simmering on the stove that mixes with the woodsy smell of his cabin just fucking beautifully. he tries really hard.

- he gets really fucking into it, and you can't help but find his admittedly childlike excitement over it a little endearing. if you ever commented on it, about how he hardly gets this excited over anything else, he'd probably just get all weirdly defensive and dismissive over it. he's been this way about it since he was a kid, never really grew out of it. even after everything.

- he's putting out a SPREAD of treats for you guys: candy corn, caramel corn, the works. can't have it any other way if you're marathoning slashers. there's a sort of unmentionable effort he puts into it with the halloween paper plates he goes out of his way to get (steal), one of those little details that puts this subdued warmth in your chest. he wants to make everything nice for you. he wants for you to have good things.

- you two. on his pilled up couch. grandpa sweaters. steaming apple cider in thrifted (stolen) mugs. flannel blanket. crackling embers from the log burner. oh yeah baby

- he makes halloween movie watchlists. oh yeah he's serious about this. he only really likes the kind of stuff you can snag off rental store shelves: sleepaway camp for eye candy (we need more slutty slutty men in horror flicks), hellraiser but only the 1987 one, texas chainsaw massacre but only the 1974 one (he's got a crush on leatherface that he'll never admit to anyone or himself), the thing is his fucking FAVORITE horror movie of all time, throw the final destinations in there just for fun, stuff like that. saw movies are his guilty pleasure. even with you, he tries to be some hard-ass and play it off when he gets all spooked and jumpy, though the way he clings to you just a little tighter says something else.

- yea this man has split skulls and gotten brain matter stuck in his hair and horror movies still scare him

- now the most important question: costumes.

- ok i have two visions for what he'd be and in both events he's forcing you to dress up with him: for one i can totally see him throwing on some ferris bueller getup and dragging you along as either sloane or cameron, or y'all are going as bill and ted and he's calling dibs on bill (so he has an excuse to wear a crop top it's totally only for the costume). if you refuse to dress up he will not shut up about how you're "no fun" until you give in

- he also uses the holiday as an opportunity to terrorize the general public. you guys are hiding out in corn mazes and jumping out at whatever poor soul happens to walk by like some surprise scare actor, pretending to be ghosts to scare off the kids who think hanging out at cemeteries makes them cool. he's the village menace. genuinely the HOA puts up a sign saying look out for this guy

- he takes you "trick or treating" but with the biggest quotations ever. he'll go around to the houses that just have bowls of candy out with a sign that says "please take one" or something and straight up just take the bowl

- when he isn't having (mostly) harmless fun and treating the townspeople like his plaything, he's treating you to some good wholesome traditional halloween activities, and he's a massive sucker for those. like, no fucking question about it he is dragging your ass to the pumpkin patch. if he's lucky he can get a five finger discount on some caramel apples for you two. of COURSE he's hauling some pumpkins home for you guys to carve, even if he'll just inevitably leave them to rot on his porch but he SWEARS he'll throw them out soon he SWEARS

- he insists on going to at least one haunted house even though he's the one that always gets you two kicked out for clocking scare actors. he's banned from most of them

- at some point in the night you'll probably end up crashing some college house party and, even though they scare him shitless, nothing makes him feel more like a guy than standing around with a red solo cup in his hand. he isn't there to make friends anyway (god knows he has no clue how), he's the one that just kinda pets the dog the entire time then leaves

- at the very end of day you guys are falling asleep tangled up in each other on the couch, smoke hanging in the air and the dvd screensaver bouncing around on the tv screen

[fizzywashere87]

how would the rise or mutant mayhem twortlezzz react to have a short gremlin friend? Like would reader is short (maybe mikey's height or a bit taller) and she is a bit chaotic. Very blunt and slightly aggressive and at first seems kinda harsh but actually is very sweet once you get to know them. Also mood swings (me fr fr)

HELLO MY LITTLE SIBLING 😁😁😁I AM VERY EXCITED TO BE YOUR FIRST REQUEST AND I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN WRITING THIS!!! YOU ARE SUPER RAD BRO-BRO KEEPING BEING AWESOME 😎

notes: HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL SIS I COULDN’T WAIT TO START WRITING THIS TYSM FOR REQUESTING!! I hope this is good, uhm, as you know it’s my first time writing so I rlly rlly hope this turns out well!! Also I don’t know enough about the mutant mayhem turtles so i don’t know if i will be writing for them atm but…ENJOY!! <333

Warnings: cussing, short! reader, poorly written and probably cringe

M.List

rise! Turtles x Short! Reader

Raph-a-doodle

Okay, we already know mans is big, he could pick you up and throw you either way, he wont.

If you’re shorter than Mikey i think he might notice but i feel like he would be indifferent

He will definitely hype you up short or not :))

As for big man here, he’s gonna pick you up like a mf ragdoll Lol I thought I was funny there

Lord forbid someone ever tease you for your height >:( ”Say it again and I’ll pound you like a boss!” why did i write that

But in a way more scary tone

Your friendship is obviously like the short gremlin and the friendly giant, why would I need to explain? your short and he’s tall incase you didn’t know

Cuddles are a must if you're okay with it (platonic cuddles are a thing)

Just lay on his plastron or disappear under his arm lol

As for the chaos, he probably wouldn’t mind it as long as you're being safe

He would probably join in most of the time but he has oldest sibling syndrome :((

He does his best to keep you from danger please don’t make it too hard for him

Most times I do see him joining in on the chaos if it’s just around the lair

If it’s on patrol don’t expect him to be so careless though he is impulsive at times Raphie worries

As for your aggressiveness, I see him as the type of person to just chill and wait for you to come back when you’re doing your thing like: 🧍‍♀️

Big man is lowkey terrified of you despite the fact he’d be towering over you

I’m not gonna lie, you being kinda harsh at first would kinda put him off

He might shy away from you at first and it’s not you, it’s the demon in your mind telling you what to do 👹 it’s u

Once you warm up to everybody and you properly hang out with him he’ll be a lot more open to being around you

He’ll realize what a cutie you are (platonically) and he won’t fear you as much -if you’re loud he assumes your tough shit like that, i don’t make the rules here

He’ll be confused when he experiences your mood swings and depending on how severe they are he might panic -One second you’re: 💕🤗Then you’re: 🤬🖕

He'll be like 'uhm wtf'

But it’s okay because you’re his best friend and he loves you either way!!

Neon-Leon

He’s not gonna pass up an opportunity to tease you

It's Leo dude

He's using you as an armrest and he's smug about it motherfucker

When he's not teasing you, y'all are chill

Another one to just pick you up because he can

His bitchass love him thinks it's funny when you get mad cuz ur tiny

Should ANYBODY that's not him make fun of your height just remember he has magic swords that make portals

He's going to match your chaotic energy because he's Leonardo

Y’all are gonna get in trouble a lot but he has magic swords and you’re probably awesome too so it’s okay

He'll be an asshole sometimes but you can put him in his place

He’s not gonna shy away from your aggressiveness or your blunt self but he’ll give you some space if he thinks you need it -or anger you even more

He’ll be just a bit taken aback at first from your bluntness but he bounces back quickly with his own retort -what you said wasn't even offensive, he just found the need to defend himself??

He probably provokes you and calls you 'lil gremlin in his own Leo way or sum shit

Despite his ignorant self I feel like Leo is understanding but he chooses to be a little shit about it

He will lowkey give you time to mellow out and then he gets to meet your sweet side -you might've warmed up to him after Mikey

He finds the fact that you speak your mind amusing so he doesn't get offended too easily most times -*dramatic gasp* “wHaT?! DiD?! YoU?! *points aggressively at you* JusT?! sAy! tO! mE?!”

He is going to be your bestie or your worst nightmare and it just depends on the stage of your friendship -jk he’s your friend and if he truly bothers you he would stop

Overall, you guys are just two dumbasses trying to have fun

Othello Von Ryan

Doesn’t really care about how tall or short you are, but does notice your a bit lacking in the height region js a bit pooks

Probably makes you a piece of tech to help with your uhm… lack dare i say i say this as if i'm taller than 5'3"

He might have u run errands for him that might require more stealth getting illegal chemicals for him

He once mistook the top of your head as a table when he was tired not his proudest moment

You’re gonna make a good arm rest for him

Anybody makes fun of your height? There’s a virus in their device and embarrassing photos were somehow sent to that person’s entire contact list -he denies it was ever him but you know better

Your chaoticness worries him his tech's safety, not yours cuh

Probably puts you on a mf leash if you're the impulsive type

He’ll be in his lab and your lil’ gremlin self will just be there yapping away about literally anything and Donnie’s like ‘😐okay’ trying to work with your sudden outbursts where you raise your voice before going back to your normal tone he probably flinches every time you raised your voice

Appreciates you being blunt in a way, he knows if you give him a compliment, you mean it and that means way more than he chooses to admit to himself be careful he's lowkey fragile

Like Raph, he also might be put off with your harshness in the beginning but once you warm up to him, he’ll warm up to you

He’ll see how sweet you become and is ‘unbothered because he’s emotionally unavailable’

He’ll be yapping about his latest project and you’re about to go do something you probably shouldn’t

He doesn’t notice ‘til he stops and asks you a question and you’re sneaking away like silly motherfucker

Can't keep up with your mood swings all the time so he'll just let you sort it out

He'll probably wait patiently

On the contrary to how he may act towards you, he really does like you

Overall you and Donnie's friendship is fun and he definitely instigates the chaos outside his lab

Magic Mike

We alr know mans is a short king, he’s going to be excited to find somebody ‘round his height

The amount of small places you two will wedge yourself in oml

You two probably created a hangout spot just for the two of you you two were the only ones able to fit

Nobody's making fun of your height

Have you seen this kid?

You two just add onto each other and get into a lot of trouble

A lotta episodes js u an him getting in trouble LMFAO

If you’re taller than him you probably call him small one or sum shit you're not that much taller than him

He only allows it from you

If you're shorter than him roles are reversed

If you’re the same height, you actually aren’t, one of you has to be taller he probably won't accept defeat so goodluck shortie

He bakes and cooks with you

If you can't kitchen for shit you're now the taste tester and you're in charge of helping him reach things on high shelves

Yes you two will use each other to reach things

stand on his shoulders like in the cartoons or he'll stand on yours "Ow! Mikey! My shoulder's about to break!" "One second y/n I almost got it!"

Mikey’s not put off in the slightest by your aggressiveness in the beginning

He probably figured you out and let you open up at your pace

You being blunt honestly makes him laugh, the way you just say what you want

He's your bestie and your his fs fs

He doesn't mind your mood swings and js goes with the flow

I strongly believe he'll just match his mood with yours "omg! i love today!" "same!" 😀  "FUCK THAT!" "same!" 😡

He adores your sweet side and he'll show it

Is another cuddle bug (if you're okay with it)

Your friendship is very wholesome as it is chaotic

You could be doing something dangerous around town while having a meaningful and deep conversation

Overall, you guys match each other's energies and hold a lot of power together don't underestimate short people

[theresattrpgforthat]

Do you happen have anything that's about food, but in the way that Dungeon Meshi is about food? (defined to me as, classic(TM) adventure but with food as a central feature) Generally food-centric games would be welcome too!

Theme: Dungeon Meshi, Food Adventures.

Hello friend, I am very excited about this week's request! I have some recommendations that have been simmering in the back of my head for a while now - a few of which can be used in the game of your liking!

Bakto’s Terrifying Cuisine, by Roll 4 Tarrasque.

"The entrance to the Kitchen Arena appears only to those hungry or foolish enough to find it. Perhaps a dusty pantry in a backwater restaurant, or a forgotten refrigerator in the basement of a busy hotel. The door closes behind you—it never opens again. At the bottom of a long set of pristine stairs, Bakto awaits."

Bakto’s Terrifying Cuisine is primarily an adventure for The Vanilla Game, which is free to play, but it strikes me as pretty system-friendly. You are all responsible for creating a dish for a hungry demon, and are provided with a dungeon map as well as descriptions of what waits for you in each room. The pamphlet also comes with 10 terrifying ingredients and 6 possible treasures, as well as a d6 table of random encounters. There’s so much packed into just 2 pages!

While this is probably only good for a one-shot or a two-shot, I think it’s definitely worth it. If you end up liking this game and want more from the same creator, you can also take a look at To Catch A Hellforged Swine, a system-agnostic adventure about hunting a cursed pig.

Gourmet Street, by theunlawfulneutral.

Gourmet Street is a setting that can be plopped directly into any world or adventure and serves up an extra side of gonzo fantasy. It is populated with street vendors serving every possible food you can conceive as well as a fascinating accoutrements of culinary artifacts, edible monsters, and bizarre dishes.

Another setting rather than game, Gourmet Street is great for OSR games like Knave or The Black Hack, but also works in games such as AD&D. It’s a street vendors’ alley, rife with rival factions and dangerous foods, as well as a series of custom, culinary-related monsters to throw at your players. There’s roll tables for dishes and their effects, as well as some descriptions of major food factions, including their defining characteristics, their advantages and disadvantages, and a quick summary of their values or goals. If you want the culinary process to be stick, dangerous, unpredictable and full of slime, this is the setting for you.

Iera Entera, by Nathan Blades.

In this world, Divine Beasts roam the land. Delivered to us from otherworldly realms, they lord over the grounds they manifest on. They’re incredibly violent, are replaced in mere days after being removed, and are capable of supernatural powers.

They’re also delicious.

This game takes the idea of eating monsters and turns it up to 11. You’re not just eating dungeon creatures - no, you’re hunting down Divine Beasts. The game is split into two sections - working out how to bring the Divine Beast down, and then figuring out how to cook the damn thing. If you are playing with folks who are familiar with Dungeon Meshi, I imagine they would have a lot of fun ideas about how to cook the entrails of a great beast, but there’s also three or four suggested beast hunts in the game itself to get you started.

Cook & Hero, by Raul Fontoura.

You’re an aspiring master cook, in a face off competition amongst worthy rivals to create the perfect dish. Unfortunately, you’re supposed to make it out of scary and scaly monsters in very dangerous underground conditions.

This is another pamphlet game, similar to Bakto’s Terrifying Cuisine, but the tone is very different. In Bakto’s, players are on the clock to satisfy a dangerous enemy. In Cook & Hero, the art conveys a more lighthearted competition, even if your character decides that it’s a matter of life or death. The 2-page game comes with some simple character creation, and the resolution uses a roll-under mechanic with a d10. It feels like it takes a number of cues from Honey Heist, but it’s definitely a distinct game.

Ghastronomy, by Timepool.

You are a ghastronomer, a chef that doesn’t cook for the living— but for the dead. You have been hired to help guide a ghost to the afterlife, by collecting the lost pieces of its soul and cooking ghostly grub to make it whole again.

Alongside your co-workers, you will arrive on the scene and use your cooking credentials and what you learned from each of your ghastronomy schools to find, obtain, and cook a wayward spirit's remaining traces. With proper planning, teamwork, and a little bit of luck—  you might just piece its soul back together before it fades away forever.

Ghastronomy looks fairly easy to learn, with an interesting apron mechanic in which your apron is also a shield. You’ll also probably all have different styles of cooking, as each character will come from a different culinary school. If you like the idea of cooking for more than just survival, and you want to incorporate the paranormal into your game, this might be for you!

Lutong Banwa, by Sinta Posadas / Diwata Ng Manila.

Lutong Banwa is a cooking game, where you set out to adventure and find ingredients from Spirits and recipes from old civilizations. Embark on this anti-canon storygame adventure with its own custom system and play to find out just what sort of zany adventures you can get up to in this weird, wild world. Do whatever you want.

Lutong Banwa feels like a cozier game than some of the others on this list, and I enjoy the perspective it brings to the genre. You are playing tamale, the successors of the earth after Humans have faded to history, trying to replicate old world dishes. Your characters will use a number of different-sided dice, depending on which stats they use, and what strengths they have. Rather than character death, your characters simply have a limited number of chances to complete a task before they are forced to rest for a day or so. Altogether the game encourages creative thinking and playing outside the box. I think this is an extremely charming game and you absolutely should check it out.

[aspecmemesdaily]

bro weird stuff has been happening to me lately. so I’ve known I was ace for a year now and that’s still going strong but also I never like. thought about romance like other girls did and never thought about a wedding. I never want a boyfriend and the idea of getting married scares me. and I wanted kids but I thought babies were ugly, and never thought about who their dad would be or anything. but like over the last year I

Really love babies and little kids, and now am miraculously really good with kids. I changed my major to education and finally found my calling (elementary librarian)

when I watched the pilot of fallout and I saw her wedding dress (I love that style soooo much) something clicked in my head and suddenly I started making little plans for my future wedding

it’s still hard for me to imagine a specific person as my husband but I realized I want that best friend for life thing. (my brother and his wife were kind of the turning point on this one because they just have so much fun and love each other so much. I realized it’s a different love than what I’d ever wanted before and now I really want that for myself?!?)

I still don’t really want to date anyone but I am feeling more open because the idea of finding someone who I love is just so exciting to me nowadays.

this is just all weird for me because my lack of interest in these things were a big part in what convinced me to look into asexuality and aromanticism and It’s so weird to lose that aspect of it but still feel no sexual attraction. I’m still me, but I’m growing into another version of myself and it’s so strange but wonderful and scary. idk growing older is weird when big opinions and feelings shift from what they’ve always been.

Thank you for sharing this, @jack1701.

I cannot give you a definite answer as your experiences and feelings are unique and only you can label yourself or choose not to label yourself at all. You don't have to fit into a specific box and I am not in a position to assign you a certain label, but I'd like to mention a few things that you might want to take into closer consideration if you so desire (The following points are just my opinion and may not be accurate!):

QPRs: Queerplatonic relationships are relationships that go "beyond" traditional notions of friendship, but don’t necessarily fit into the category of a typical romantic relationship. They can be a way to have that deep, lifelong partnership you’re envisioning without the pressure to conform to conventional romantic or sexual expectations. QPRs are quite common for partnering aspec people to be in. There is no set definition for a QPR and its boundaries—you and your queerplatonic partner (QPP) decide individually what you want to do or not do (e.g. hug, cuddle, kiss, live together, raise a child, pay taxes, idk??) and what you want to call each other (e.g. partner, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, idiot, shnookums??, whatever...), etc.

Cupioromantic: This label falls under the aromantic umbrella and typically describes someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction, but still desires a romantic relationship (regardless of whether they are in one, aspire to be in one, or not).

Aegoromantic: This label also falls under the aromantic umbrella and typically describes someone who enjoys the idea of romance or romantic fantasies but doesn’t desire a romantic relationship for themselves. You may think of it as a disconnection between oneself and one's romantic fantasies. It's explained quite well here, I think.

Other arospec identities such as demiromantic (only experiencing romantic attraction after a deep emotional connection has been developed) or greyromantic/grayromantic (experiencing romantic attraction rarely or only under specific circumstances).

But you don't have to label yourself just now or ever, and no label is permanent. Just keep being yourself and do what feels good for you.

All the best!