#can Karamel just be ended game by now?

[ravenwoodalum]

on karamelle, why it sucks, and redeeming azteca's reputation.

I just got to Karamelle for the second time, and good lord. I hadn't forgotten how much I hated it, but it hit me like a wall of bricks. And I'm already preparing myself to marathon it and be fucking done questing here for at least a year.

I think it breaks down like this.

Baby's first workers rights movement/sugary-sweet surveillance state Listen. I know this is a game that doesn't allow for player characters to have much individual impact on the in-game narrative. I know we've had to do errands for cops. I know we work for a war criminal. I KNOW there are flaws in the system. But there's something about the way that Karamelle's set up that makes it all feel so. much. worse. And that's the fact that Karamelle has such a stellar reputation within the Spiral before this. The happiest place in the Spiral, the sweetest treats in the Spiral. Everyone seems to fucking love this place. Almost no one outside of those actually working there seem to understand how corrupt it is. And so the YW is talked down to at every turn, like this is their first exposure to a corrupt environment. And sure, maybe it is within, canon. YW gets isekai'd at a very young age and then made into a child soldier, maybe this is actually the first time in canon that they've been introduced to these concepts. But (and this may just be me) it feels really rude to the player -- who might actually have experience with these ideas -- to make them feel like a fucking idiot with the dialogue options. Karamelle's characters just feel rude.

Oh, so the Gobblers were a fatphobic, Roald Dahl type thing from the start. Cool cool cool. Any of you ever read Roald Dahl's book "The Twits"? It's a very unremarkable story all things considered, except for this bit.

Aside from Roald Dahl's unavoidable history of antisemitism, does this remind you of anything? Honestly, this reminds me of the Gobbblers.

We first meet the Gobblers around level 10 in Wizard City -- creatures driven by consumption. And then we get to Empyrea and hear that the Alphoi -- skinny "civilized" creatures -- can become Gobblers if they eat too much or are unhealthy in their eating habits. Which makes one of our oldest running enemies a loop-around fatphobic thing, ESPECIALLY when we get to them in Karamelle, the home world of the Gobblers. Rosina, especially, just oozes fatphobia and diet culture. The literal vilification of being fat isn't even subtext, it's just text.

The Old One, The Cabal, and what to do when your escape from the world ends up shoving what you were escaping from right back in your face. When I was in sophomore year of college, fall of 2019, I had one of the worst mental health periods of my life. Antisemitism was fucking everywhere, I was always a moment away from a panic attack, and it felt like no one understood. While I'm lucky in the fact that I was able to get an official diagnosis for genetically inherited PTSD, alongside the reassurance that I wasn't fucking crazy, there was a period when I just needed to go home for a moment. So when I was going back to my dorm from the dining hall to make sure all my stuff was ready to go, I opened up tumblr and made a post on a long-gone RP sideblog I had for the Swedish Chef (y'know, from The Muppets? long story), and before I'd even gotten halfway across campus, I'd received threatening and violent messages from someone RPing as Borat, which only got worse when they realized they were talking to an actual Jewish person.

That escape from reality didn't even last five fucking minutes before the horrors I was trying to avoid found me.

Now, Wizard101 has always been a source of comfort for me. I made my account fourteen years ago, and I do not know what my life would look like if I hadn't done that. There are flaws with this game, yes, sure, but over the past five years (since I got a wiz compatible laptop) I've developed a bit of a reliance on it to get me through the horrors. No better form of escapism.

But no art form is free of the horrors.

And Wizard101 has the fucking Cabal and Old One.

The Cabal within the fiction of Wizard101 is a secret, nefarious organization pulling the strings on events across the Spiral, controlling history from the shadows. This term literally originates in antisemitic conspiracy theory, with the term 'cabal' originating from the term for Jewish mysticism, 'kabbalah'. And I promise you, you've heard plenty of applications of this conspiracy theory in real life too. It feeds into the idea that Jews (or 'global elite') control the government, the media, the banks.

And then, we get to the man in control of it all. The Old One. Whether or not this was intended, he's a walking, talking antisemitic caricature. The octopus as a symbol for the mythical Elders of Zion is a longstanding dogwhistle (see attached for a guide to this and many other visual dogwhistles). "Oh, he's based on H.P. Lovecraft-" So he's based on the works of a famous racist and antisemite, cool cool cool.

It's just exhausting, walking through a world that is so clearly modeled after Germany and other parts of eastern Europe, and finding antisemitism around every corner. And even more exhausting considering it's almost impossible to tell if they meant to do it. Antisemitism is so fucking ingrained in the world at this point that I don't actually know what they meant to do here, what they did maliciously or out of ignorance, or if any of it was put in with the purpose of turning it on its head. Over the past few years, it has become glaringly obvious that a lot of people don't realize when they're running across antisemitism, or even taking part in it. Including people I really thought would know better.

Side note. For those of you who know I see Dasein as Jewish, you may be wondering how I balance that out with the antisemitic nature of The Old One, since they share a physical form. I think of it like this. Dasein did not choose The Old One. He did not choose to resemble that, but he can attempt to reclaim it. Dasein's Judaism comes not from the resemblance he holds to the hatred that haunts us, but from the love that keeps us going. He questions authority and longstanding tradition, chooses to do what's right instead of what's expected, and is kind in the face of hatred. He literally makes himself, and a world, out of nothingness. Something out of Nothing. He's so Jewish you guys.

The Spiral's "Worst World Award" goes to... I know we all say "fuck Azteca" pretty often on this website, but I don't think it deserves to be deigned the worst world in Wiz. My main gripe with Azteca is how inaccessible it gets after Xibalba strikes -- the flashing lights aren't exactly photosensitive friendly. Which further lends frustration to my completionist nature, meaning I have to finish all quests, badges, and fishing before I finish the world (making it take forever to finish). Aside from that, there really isn't that much wrong with the world (and if you argue that it sucks because you can't save Azteca, I get it, but some tragedies are inescapable by their very nature). It's a problem of gameplay, versus a problem of plot in the case of Karamelle. And maybe its just because I'm a writer, but problems with plot feel much more egregious. I really do think Karamelle deserves more vitriol than it gets.

G-d, I can't wait to get to Lemuria.

[stormbreaker101]

Music(ology) headcanons! Part 1

My headcanons fall under two main umbrellas: stuff that goes along with canon as is, and stuff that works specifically in the AU that I and a friend have been working on together for the past 9 months. I wanted to put the AU specific stuff in this post also but this post is long enough as is, so this post will just be based on the headcanons that I think are canon compliant.

I believe there is a subtle distinction between Music and Musicology.

Music is as primordial as Light and Shadow. If Light is the magic of order and existence as it currently is, and Shadow is the magic of chaos and change and entropy, the Music is the magic of creation, of making the new. Music is the harmonizing force that keeps Light and Shadow in balance.

(Quest: The End of Days, the quest at the very end of Empyrea in which the Wizard becomes the Divine Paradox)

Meanwhile Musicology is Music as mortals such as Maulwurf von Trap and the Old One are able to study and use, the way that all of the 7 main schools and the Astral schools are the subforms of Light magic most ordinary people can learn.

Because it does attempt to tap into such primal magic, Musicology is often unstable, which is why Maulwurf is so destruction-prone.

(Quest: Life is Like..., the now-retired Karamelle prequest that hints at Maulwurf)

(Quest: A Foundry Most Foul. Maulwurf used Musicology to defend himself from some Schismist soldiers... with extra consequences.)

However, with the right tools, even mortal Musicology can be INCREDIBLY powerful. The Old One was able to use his World Synthesizer to weave pieces of Spiral Worlds together, a smaller version of Bartleby singing the Song of Creation to weave all the worlds of the Spiral together into one cohesive universe after the First World split apart.

(Quest: Small World After All. The quest where the Arcanum debates what to do about Lemuria)

(Quest: Something Wicked That Way Goes, the quest where the Wizard goes to unformed Novus)

Note now music is lowercase here despite Nothing being capitalized. The music isn't divine Music, but rather Musicology, because Novus was made out of Dasein and the Old One's World Synthesizer in particular.

So, Musicology as the mortal form of Music. How does it manifest, aside from Maulwurf's arson and the World Synthesizer?

I think some spells are inherently Musicological despite falling under the canon schools. I think @astral-schools put this well in this post of theirs + response to my tags:

Spells that use the ideas of (lowercase) music in their theming. The techniques, how they manifest, their animations.

I wanted to list out every Musicological spell ingame but unfortunately the list of every spell in the game is like 70% beastmoon spells (exaggeration) so I never get far in my deep dive before getting bored of combing through the spells. Off the top of my head, the following spells are Musicological spells to me:

Imp (an imp playing a fiddle causes the damage. The spell animation has music notes fly at you)

Satyr (a satyr plays the pan pipes to heal you)

Earthquake (vibrations through the ground. music and physical vibration/frequencies go hand in hand to me. physics!)

Myth Imp (same as with regular imp)

Snake Charmer (the charmer uses their song to control the snake and make it deal damage)

Banshee (screams and noise as damage)

Sirens (sirens' songs are what lure sailors to their doom. Music notes fly at you in the animation as well)

Every Karamelle spell (Maulwurf says that the spell is made by the musicology syncopating with our inherent magic. Syncopation is a musical term that refers to when a melody intentionally dances around the rhythm of the piece.)

Every Lemuria spell (because Lemuria was made with Musicology)

Every Novus spell (because, like Lemuria, Novus was made with Musicology)

In a sense Music and Musicology is somewhat similar to how we see Shadow magic in-game. Pure Shadow magic is divine and unstable (which is why we suffer Backlash when using the pure Shadow spells from Khrysalis), but other spells are Shadow-enhanced, using Shadow magic alongside one of the other 7 schools to keep it more stable.

[hitchell-mope]

(The King Vs The Imp)

Mon El: stop trying to bastardise Gloria Gaynor and tell them the truth or I will. And I promise you. I won’t hold anything back.

Mxy: this is the truth.

Mon El: no. It’s the truth that you think they can handle. But they are far more reasonable than you give them credit for.

Samantha: what’s going on?

Kara: the guy that Mon El is talking to is Mr Mxyzptlk. He showed up about four years ago to try and get me to marry him. Obviously I said no. Then last year he showed up again to show me possible futures where I befriended Lena. None of them were good.

Samantha: so he’s on our side then?

Mon El: no. He’s on his side. Or whatever side proves useful to him. So technically yes you could say he’s on our side.

Samantha: and what does this have to do with the woman who blew up the building?

Mon El: she’s one of him.

Samantha: so a clone?

Mxy: sadly not dear lady. She is the Princess Nxylgsptinz of the Fifth Dimension first born and only daughter of King Brpxz of the Fifth Dimension.

Samantha: and she’s got it in for us because....?

Mxy: patriarchy.

Mon El: shut up. To you it would be patriarchy. To anyone with a human sense of morality it would be patriarchy.

Kara: but it’s not?

Mon El: no. By Fifth Dimension standards Brpxz was a tyrant. A dictator. Think um. Hitler or Stalin or former President Baker.

Samantha: and by human standards?

Mon El: let’s just say that if he had ever come to earth he would have been celebrated as the second coming of Arthur Pendragon and Jesus Christ combined.

Kara: wow. So Nxylgsptinz is?

Mon El: the Fifth Dimensional equivalent of Lena Luthor. And she tried to leave me and Zor El stranded in the Phantom Zone.

Kara: got it. Say no more. The bitch is down.

Mxy: careful supergirl. She has magic just like I do.

Karamel: crap.

Samantha: crap?

Kara: kryptonians are vulnerable to magic. So we need a massive contingency plan.

Mon El: Winn?

Kara: no. It’s just his dnd class. Believe me. I’ve asked him repeatedly. Unfortunately it’s just a game title.

Mxy: but she has magic. Don’t you dear lady?

Kara: fucking hell he’s right.

Samantha: I’m still new at it. And I don’t know if it could release Reign again. I don’t want to risk it.

Mxy: well risk it dear lady. Because now that Nxylgsptinz knows that I’m here. I cannot be of any more help to you fine, fine, heroes.

Mon El: if I ever find out that you’re lying to us, I swear to every god, both human and alien, that nowhere in the universe will be safe for you to hide from me.

Mxy (as he disappears into thin air): message received, understood and feared your highness.

Kara: come on. Let’s get to work.

(End of The King Vs The Imp)

[solar-wing]

WARNING: LONG POST/RANT AHEAD!

Truthfully, I prefer the third option.

While, yes, KI has managed to keep Wizard101 interesting and alive for those of us still here, this win is also their largest crux. From what I've observed in my on-and-off time playing the game for the last (number of years that I will not specify due to the cringe it will give me at how old I am getting), the returning/veteran player base is significantly larger than their new player base.

Veterans include those of us who grew up with the game as kids when it launched in 2008 and those who began playing Pre-Emperya (2016 and prior) in my opinion. New players or newer (for lack of a better description for those who've been playing for a while now but aren't included in that veteran group just yet) are those who began playing around Karamelle's launch and beyond (2020 and after).

One may argue that their number of new accounts is still higher than returning. But, I'd call into question how many of these "new" accounts are:

A) Still in current use and didn't turn inactive within 3-6 months after their initial creation and remained inactive for more than a year? Consider the given timeframe a gracious one as well given testimonies from different gamers and how their attention span to a new game is much shorter than what I specified.

B) Not secondary, third, or spam accounts for players who have an existing main account already. Many players, primarily returning/veterans, are known to create secondary and/or third accounts so they can quest their wizards together without having to ask for aid from a different player in the game. Also, given the rising popularity of live streaming and content creation in the gaming community in the past several years some players have been noted to create multiple fake accounts to target and harass certain streamers after getting their primary and possibly secondary accounts banned.

This is to say that KingsIsle suffers greatly from greedy paywall and pay-to-win tactics that are heavily integrated into the game. After 15 years of live play and the addition of 12 new mainline worlds after Dragonspyre's release in 2009 which ended the first arc (two of these worlds being split into two separate parts), KI's unwillingness to invest in their players (new and returning) is greatly spotlighted just off the fact that the tutorial and Unicorn Way is the most you get to do, questing wise in the game before you hit the paywall.

With that, what is more likely to come (if it ever does) is that Wizard City will become free-to-play permanently and the paywall will be pushed back to Krokotpia. While I recognize the benefits and pros that could bring, I think it's too safe and not enough for what KI needs to help reel in more new players.

Extending the paywall to Celestia I think is a more viable option. Yes, playing till the end of the first arc will feel like an ending for players, if it's just that; they end it at Dragonspyre, But, if they ended it at DS with just a bit of a teaser into Celestia, say making the dungeon in Marleybone where you have to retrieve the Spiral Key required like it was originally before the initial release of the second arc's first world.

Also, it's likely many will cave and purchase a membership well before they get to Dragonspyre. If side worlds like Grizzleheim, Wysteria, and the side dungeons in the first arc are kept exclusive to having a membership, but players still get the notification when they're a high enough level, that's enticement as well.

There's a lot more I can say about this, but in summary, my point is if KI wants Wizard101 to grow like it was growing in the past, they need to stop being stingy and greedy on every little thing. PLUS, bring back the commercials like the ones we had from the first and second arcs. Those were core memories for lots of us and can be for a whole new generation of players.

LIIIKKKKEEEEE...

[shikaramelssay]

Obligatory New Year’s Wishlist

Here are some things I wish we could see but probably won’t

a scene with that blessed otter. 

some hurt / comfort scene with the Danvers Girls and Alex finally finally finally thanks Kara for saving her plane....

someone talks to Alex about her “not problem”.

Kara realises that Mon-el is holding her back emotionally and otherwise, but instead of rebounding she consciously decides to be alone for awhile and work on all of the things she said she was going to when, you know, she inexplicably dumped James.,,,

re-release the S2 DVD with new commentary which includes the actual cast, more than one director, the stunt captain etc, and they talk about anything except Melwood chemistry or Karamel...

deleted scenes and bloopers.  I personally am uninterested in these, but apparently this means a lot to many fans, so.....come on!!!

Mon-el gets his Valor suit (and goes bye bye - enjoy your spinoff....)

Cat Grant comes back and makes some meta statement about sexism in the media and entertainment industry....

more Danvers Sisters but not as clingy as they have been recently but not as distant and arguey as S2 but not as codependent as S1...gawd I don’t know what I want anymore....I’ll know when I see it....

can Berlanti and Co have a good hard look at the state of this show and remind everyone involved about the S1 values that were so original and necessary, and commit to not devolve into the unnecessary romantic tripe that was S2....they don’t have to correct too much, just pull themselves out of the mud a little bit while they do some restructuring and course correction to get ready for a rebooted S4.

can Sam/Reign not be the Big Bad, or be the Big Bad with potential redemption in store?

more Eliza and Young Kara scenes.  That is my new aesthetic.

I feel like I am missing something?  Tell me what i am missing?

[handlewithkara]

Baseless random speculation on future episodes based solely on shallow “that’s what the person last wrote”: 

13 - The Gauntlet: Dana Horgan (story) & Jay Faerber & Brooke Pohl Brooke Pohl’s last credit was the Lex centric episode, so maybe this is where Lex reenters the picture and teams up with Nyxly. (leading to Lena’s beach plot in 14 with William, being being spurred on by Lex’s involvement to team up with William and maybe Andrea to investigate Lex) Dana Horgan also has written a lot of noteworthy Lena and Lena versus Lex heavy episodes recently. (notably Phantom Menaces with a Lena versus Lex plot, Confidence Women about the Andrea and Lena backstory and Missing Link where Lena realizes that she is becoming too much like Lex) [of course she also wrote the Lena free Nia centric Reality Bytes]

14 - Magical Thinking: Derek Simon & Karen Maser Behind the scenes pictures suggest a Lena and Dansen heavy episode or generally an action episode? Derek Simon is noteworthy for being a real veteran of the series and Karamel’s should note that he wrote in A Few Good Women (the one with the potential Karamel shoutout), in episode 100 and way back some important Karamel episodes like Welcome To Earth, Medusa and Homecoming, Dark Side Of The Moon). All the more sad that nothing about this episode really indicates likely opportunity for Karamel shoutouts. So I wouldn’t get my hopes up too much. 

On the Lena or Dansen front, nothing sticks out to me about him as a writer. 

Maser in comparison is a new writer to season 6. Previously she wrote the episode where Kelly decides she wants to become a superhero and the episode where Lena first really teams up with the Superfriends for the search for Kara. 

15 - Hope for Tomorrow:  Robert L. Rovner (story) &  Emilio Ortega Aldrich & Nicki Holcomb Okay, this is the biggest conspiracy theory leap that is probably completely off base. I call it the Karadox conspiracy. It’s no secret that particularly Karamel fans think the show could end with Kara leaving for the future. What if this is true but the show builds this up mostly through Karadox (even if it is isn’t necessarily straight up romantic Karadox)? AND if this is the episode that lays the groundwork for it? 

- the title mentions the future - it has a story by showrunner Robert Rovner which is usually mostly reserved for special episodes like openers, finales and episode 100 these days. So this could point towards a big game changer episode or generally an episode that is very important for the mythos and the direction of the series - While it’s not a consistent track record, Nicki H has written some strong Brainy episodes or at least strong Brainy material in other episodes  - Neither Kara nor Brainy are present in Nia’s big flag waving scene and Brainy was grouped with Mon-El and Winn during the funeral

So, my completely random conspiracy theory, what if this episode were to have Brainy receive news from the Legion that it is safe for him to come back to the future (or alternatively that they are stuck and need his help, but I feel like “hope” would work better if the message was that the future is fine now) and they offer to pick him up and he has to make a decision on whether he wants to? (making the reason why the Legion is here to be pick up Brainy, they run smackdash into the funeral and decide to stay put for a bit and help out because Brainy has unfinished business). 

It’s noteworthy that the other writer most recently wrote in the Nia heavy Dream Weaver (but also the not Nia centric Phantom Menaces). So I could picture this as a Brainia heavy episode? 

ETA: @madeunmexico brought up the good point why they would have to pick him up if he has access to the Legion ship. Err, good point. Remember, my spec is likely wrong ^__^ My current BS explanation is maybe he wants them to pick him up so he can leave his ship behind with his friends so they also have access to futuretravel?

16 - Nightmares In National City: Rob Wright & Jess Kardos

Rob Wright and Jess Kardos were also teamed up for Alex In Wonderland so this could be more Alex centric than expected? (they were also teamed up for the Prom episodes)

I would peg this episode for most likely to have quality sisters or Alex content. 

17 - Either Truth and Consequences of Believe In A Thing Called Love: Dana Horgan &  Nicki Holcomb

Out of the writers I would peg Dana Horgan as the one most likely to be Lena centric and of course my current pet theory is that Nicki could be a Brainy heavy writer. (that’s why I liked it better when my theory was that 17 was about William getting himself killed and Lena feeling guilty, but following the conspiracy theory about a Brainy/future plot this could also be a Brainy/Nia episode about love) 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually think that Supergirl writers are tied to single characters and that they can’t swap around and write all characters (ie Nicki H strikes me as somebody where the type of episode seems to be more dictated by whoever the partner is). It just has always been a pet theory of mine that some writers do tend to sometimes have some leanings (like Cindy Lichtman wrote a lot of Lena episodes in season 2/3, most notably Luthors, Damages and For Good, seriously that’s three different episodes of Lena being framed/persecuted). 

Anyway, these specs are probably colossaly wrong, but they are also fairly concrete, so you can rake me over the coals when I turn out to be completely off base. ^__^ Since the episode summary of Gauntlet should drop fairly soon, that can be proven wrong quite soon. 

[thalzad]

Supergirl finale thoughts

Overall, I like this episode. One thing I really liked actually was how Lex met his end. Him being brought down by his own hubris seemed fitting since part of Lena’s arc this season included letting go of her personal stake in the fight against Lex. I wish the phantoms had only taken Lex though because Nyxly deserved better than sent back to the Phantom Zone with Lex.

I was in favour the the DEO being reconstituted, but only because it’s a “carte blanche to reimagine it” which means they can reimagine it as not a military organisation. I was thinking that with the help of people like Kelly, it would be more of a bureau that does stuff like help aliens navigate the system to becoming citizens and fund community organisations to help aliens (as well as giving Alex a pay check). Dreamers Center for LGBTQ+ outreach made me tear up.

I was so happy to see Monel’s goodbye because it felt like what they did with William to shut down Karamel for good. I hope it’s because they knew how toxic it was and wanted to say that Kara deserves better but idk.

Also, Brainy and Nia’s goodbye was so good. I was almost disappointed when he came back because that made such a good goodbye pointless.

I was so excited to see Cat again. Especially when she said “everything became clear, I’m a reporter.” That’s the same realisation I needed Kara to have.

I was so scared when she was talking to Alex that she was going to change her mind and go to the future.

Cw cannot seem to get lesbian wedding looks down. At least the outfits were good this time and it was just Alex’s hair that was weird.

Why did Winn and Lena walk in arm in arm? What happened to the big brain now that Brainy’s staying? Nura Nal? I’m assuming the reason that Winn could leave the present forever without bad things happening was because, like the original Legends, he wasn’t very important.

Yay! Kara singing! Obviously was going to happen but I’m still happy.

Why didn’t Eliza walk Alex down the aisle? Especially since J’onn is officiating.

I love seeing Esme happy!

I wonder why the Lena godmother scene was cut in the aired version. It was funny and heartwarming.

The OG superfriends 😍 most of this episode didn’t feel very much like the series finale, but this part really did.

The “I figured out what I really wanted in life” then cut to a shot of Lena glowing in the sunlight and the only thing in focus just seemed like something out of a romance movie.

Didn’t we learn that Cat knew about Kara being supergirl back in season 2? I think so but I guess Kara didn’t.

I was convinced Kara was going to say “I love you while hugging Lena”

Lena looked so gay in the second half of this episode. I’m glad the last shot of the series was Kara looking happy.

The only thing I’m really disappointed about is that Kara didn’t end up with Lena. Because it was brought up again and again from the beginning of the series that Kara wanted a partner, and most recently in the second half of season 6 with “I don’t want to be alone anymore” I’m disappointed that she didn’t get her “perfect partner at game night” happy ending that I felt she deserved.

[meursaulty]

saunters sauntuly in here... using that questionaire to learn more abt everybodies wizzies... here r my questions abt urs..

- does your wizard have a primary school? secondary school?

- does your wizard travel alone or with a group?

- what do they think about forbidden magics? should it be taught?

- how do they generally get along with most npcs? do they have favorites, or a best friend?

for all ur wizards!!

hiiiii so i technically have three wizards but i basically made the first a self insert because i did not think i would still be playing this game by now... so i will focus answers on my two actual characters. this is kinda long bc it's the first time im talking about them here so i gotta give context:

does your wizard have a primary school? secondary school?

- scarlet is my main death wiz. the story about her primary school is actually kinda funny, bc i made my current wiz acc in 2016 after my old one was banned (chargeback 😤). BUT i didn't use it until last year and thought she was a fire like my og character?? so then i logged in and it was like "welcome to the death school" after i named her scarlet and dressed her all in red 😀

- roslyn is a storm, and samuel is a life. nothing special behind those stories (at least not ones that wouldn't extend this answer by way too much)

- and i don't use secondary schools to characterize bc i am lazy..... but maybe i should

does your wizard travel alone or with a group?

- scarlet goes alone, bc i keep her story adherent to canon

- but roslyn and samuel. oh god. most annoying saviors ever. the deal with them is that ambrose sends them around the spiral as a team. the thing is... they are both wolf stormblades and just refuse to cooperate and only make it to dragonspyre through pure luck... in ds the gravity of the situation finally hits them, and they don't really talk again until celestia. but arc 1 and the time between dragonspyre/celestia gave them a lot of time to grow up. i could write a whole essay on this, but to keep it short, they are besties by end of arc 2 lol

what do they think about forbidden magics? should it be taught?

- i assume this refers to shadow magic? and tbh only scarlet has gotten that far in game, but roslyn and samuel are on the same page that it needs to be studied more, but that it can be seriously dangerous (reverie: the shadow in your heart twists your dreams) and not taught at places like ravenwood. maybe the history/theories, but not the spells. just enough to sate curiosity and avoid morganthe 2.0

- although roslyn is a less firm on this position. she's from marleybone (where there's no magic, according to wethersfield) and ravenwood is the best thing that could have happened to her (see next q), so she isn't sure how she feels being on the side for its containment

how do they generally get along with most npcs? do they have favorites, or a best friend?

- ok so i need to give some bkg on roslyn and samuel.

- roslyn is from the streets of marleybone. think victorian street urchin. part of a band of children with a strict code of honor. so she gets along fine with the npcs (if they don't to anything to change her mind...ahem giles in empyrea), but she would really get on with the hoods in mirage

- samuel is from a wealthy family in karamelle. think nepotism baby. set to take over his family's part of nana's when he's older. he's very aloof and haughty at first and doesn't really care about the npcs. but like i said in #2, both he and roslyn mellow out after realizing that they're part of something much larger than either of them

- but as for best friends... they are (eventually) each other's lol. this is actually great timing for this q bc i was up at like 3am last night drawing after seeing a vision of this meme in my minds eye

[philosopherbouquet]

Our world affects the spiral or is it vise versa

(This is kinda long and rambling but I felt I had to write this out) A thought just occurred to me as I was lurking through the Wizard101 posts on Tumblr and having someone’s play through of the game on pause in another tab. 

The worlds that make up the Spiral both from the main quest lines of Arc 1 to Arc 4, from Wizard City to Karamelle,  and the Side Worlds like Grizzleheim and Wysteria. They are all based on something from Earth, connected to Earth in some way like through references. But it is?

Or is it the other way around? That these worlds, through the space time continuity affect Earth, making it the mix up and mish-mashed world that it is, with all of these different cultures and religions and ideas. 

Maybe that’s why Earth doesn't have any magic, because it got bombarded from the other worlds and as a result didn't form its own identity and therefore it couldn't absorb magic from the void that connects the spiral worlds together. 

That then begs the question, who - or maybe even what - is the Wizard? If they are from Earth, a world that doesn't believe in magic and therefore doesn't use magic, how did they come into said magic. And not only that, but able to control Shadow to the degree that they can for their selected school. All higher power bosses are dueled-school (fire/storm), but the Wizard remains singular, why?

We know nothing about the Wizard canonical. What we do know for sure is that they are from Earth and were young (around 12-13) when they started at Ravenwood and have been thrust into the role of “Savior of the Spiral “, therefore dealing with all manners of negative magic for years. 

They are - were - a blank slate originally but became bombarded by the worlds of the spiral, forced to form to what they had been given and forced into. Shaped and molded by everything around the, maybe just like Earth. 

But this brings something really interesting up. If Earth was influenced by the Spiral, how would the Wizard react to each new world, each new scenario that they experience and can make the connection to Earth or something on Earth. Nostalgia? Surprise? Wonder? Fear?

Imagine then coming across a reference and remembering how it ended terrible (Star Trek and everything connected to Khan and as a result, Spock dying in TOS, Kirk dying in AOS). Imagine how desperate the Wizard would be to stop more tragedy unfurling and when that battle comes between these two forces, all those emotions being unleashed. If they were a school that boost against those elements, how more overwhelming it would be, and schools that resisted how much harder they would hit to stop them. 

And when all is said and done, when the Wizard has a moment to themselves and they reflect, they think back on their memories and try to remember, what was from Earth and what was from the Spiral and not able to see the clear distinguish between the two.Their memories of Earth become foggy. 

Thank you for coming to my random thought up (and now kinda sad) Ted Talk.  

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

You want to see a submission that pisses off SC stalkers on your blog? Here goes...

So I’ve been thinking about the whole “watch this space” thing with David and trying to come up with why on earth he said that in the first place.  I really can’t think of a good reason but I can speculate plenty.

First off, I don’t get why he even answered the question at all.  Provided the writers continue to completely ignore Mon El’s existence as they seem to do in Jeremy’s episode, you’d think they’d have let the cast know not to mention him.  It’s odd.  There was even a mention of him at the last SDCC, wasn’t there?  If the writers are going to keep ignoring him and the cast knows this but knows the sane fans miss him, I can’t understand why David didn’t just ignore/delete that question asking about him right off the bat.  He had to know how much baggage is attached to that character now so why answer?

All I can come up with is 1) he got caught off guard and just answered that without thinking, 2) he purposely said it to irritate you-know-who or 3) maybe there is something in the works but he can’t talk about it, at least not yet?  Watch this space does mean that something may be happening so stay tuned.  

But to options 1 and 2, I can believe he might’ve been caught off guard but if he had, he wouldn’t have answered like that.  Those words don’t scream “caught off guard” to me.  Caught off guard might’ve been more along the lines of him saying he didn’t know, or ignoring the question completely and deleting it.  Maybe it’s just me.  I don’t think that’s how he would’ve responded if he got flustered.  I can’t buy him saying it to purposely irritate the trolls either.  David would never play games and he doesn’t give a rat’s ass enough about the assholes to purposely antagonize them.  Unlike the sc nuts, he gets the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.  

So that leaves option 3…could there be something in the works?  Maybe, maybe not.  I realize it’s being way too hopeful.  To be honest I still think Mon El/karamel are done, most likely because Chris chose to leave and doesn’t want to come back for various reasons.  But…but…

Maybe the writers have secretly approached the cast and said the next season will be the last and the show will end then.  CW must have with Arrow and Supernatural.  We’ve had plenty of reasons to speculate this, Melissa’s contract ending, the rest of the cast (Chy, David at least) may have one foot out the door already, melwood’s recent marriage and LA house purchase, Melissa’s Pinterest, etc.  So in light of this, maybe they greenlit the Superman spinoff (like Arrow spinning off Canaries as it ends) and lets the cast know.  And maybe they approach or will approach Chris and ask if he’d agree to return for karamel endgame toward the end of next season or they’re planning to and have let the rest of the cast know (or at least Melissa since it’s her husband).  Hence, David’s words about watch this space?  Plus, no one seems to be able to tell for sure the dull reporter dude is endgame…maybe he’s not?  Let’s not forget also that in the comic books, Kara leaves and goes to the 31st century to join the Legion.  And they did follow Mon El’s Legion storyline fairly closely except it wasn’t Saturn Girl he married, but still.

Just pondering.  Even if it’s not happening, it’s fun to see the haters’ heads explode at the thought LOL.

*

Thanks for the submission.

Personally, I think Chris is done with the show, but maybe he will make a short apperance. Also, what stops us from hoping that in the last ep of the final season Kara goes to the future to stay with her one true love.

Hope is a mother of idiots, but like every mother we should love her ¯\_(ヅ)_/¯

[hope-for-olicity]

Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - January 3rd, 2020

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them. This and all previous Fabulous Olicity Fanfic posts can be found on my blog. 

The Way We Met multi-chapter Complete by @originalhybridloverfics​ - Ever since Felicity Smoak lost her mother, she struggled to move forward until the day she met Oliver Queen and her whole life changed. Oliver has lived his life with one thing in mind, survive. Growing up in the system taught he had to look out for himself at any cost. However, the day he met Felicity changed him. Can two lost people find their way in each other? Can their love survive when an old enemy tries to tear their world down around them, leaving nothing but pain and regret in their wake? https://archiveofourown.org/works/21360379/chapters/50879065#workskin

There's No Game Tougher Than Love multi-chapter Complete by @mindramblingsfics​ - "Oh, let me guess. You're not used to people saying no to you." Felicity took her textbooks back from Oliver and slipped them inside her locker. "That's...come on. That's totally not it," Oliver quickly objected. She leaned against the now closed locker folding her arms across her chest. Turning back to him, a teasing smiled tugged at the corner of her lips as she studied him with her eyes. "Tell me what it is then. Inquiring minds really want to know." Oliver looked back in Felicity's eyes and instantly knew this girl in front of him was like no other girl he'd met before and he was foolishly up for the challenge. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11519925/chapters/25855590

Strip Poker and Fruit Cocktail multichapter Complete by TaraB1915 - Felicity and Oliver have a second mini-moon at the Queen's mountain lodge. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21938257/chapters/52359037

The Magic of Christmas multichapter WIP by yearsofexperience  - Felicity is the CEO of her own company, which takes up most of her time. She doesn't have much time to relax so when her best friend suggest they go for a trip to ski lodge in Aspen owned by Oliver Queen, she needs a lot of convincing. Giving in to her friend, Finally, she gives in not knowing that her life is about to turn upside down. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21993718

Forward is the Only Way Through multichapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics​ - "If life is giving us another chance, don't you think we should take it?" Will life finally give high school sweethearts Oliver and Felicity the chance to be happy the way they always dreamed of when they were younger? As adults, professional baseball player Oliver Queen and technology mogul Felicity Smoak try to navigate their love while also dealing with the demands of everyday life and their respective rising careers. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13182393/chapters/30151908

The Legend of the Snowmen multi-chapter WIP by WinterJoy - Felicity believes in the legend of the snowmen. Oliver had never heard of such a thing. Now he has a new way to show Felicity how important she is to him. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22007416/chapters/52516834

Let's Make a Deal You and I by babswonder - It's a suit shop nerd store AU. Oliver Queen is a local menswear employee on a quest to find a microwave. What he wasn't expecting was stepping inside a nerd store and dipping his toes into nerd culture...and finding a cute blonde. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13252581

Forget Me Not multi-chapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics​ - Felicity was presumed dead after The Gambit was shipwrecked and she went missing. As the one year anniversary of her death approaches, a miracle happens and she is found. Just when Oliver thinks the universe has given them a second chance, he learns Felicity barely remembers him and the memories of their love together are gone entirely. Oliver and Felicity’s journey after they reunite prove to be a tough road ahead, and then they learn that Felicity’s accident may have had a more sinister motive behind it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392291/chapters/43556987

In Search of Caffeination by @smewhereelse​ - Five scenes from the morning shift at Verdant Coffee Co., and one from after closing. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12017259

Phone Etiquette by delinquentdee - Venting to a friend is a great form of stress relief... unless you're Felicity Smoak. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013380

You and Me (From the Night Before) by @fellicityqueen - Felicity drinks a bit too much to survive a mayoral New Year's Eve party. Oliver helps her through her hangover. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13237731

The Heist by @wrldtravler​ - Here’s a cute little high school Olicity AU drabble that popped into my head based on some prompts https://wrldtravler.tumblr.com/post/168961333837/the-heist

Lost and Found multichapter Complete by @it-was-a-red-heeler​ - Mayor Queen asks his bodyguard to find a mystery woman, and inadvertently sets John Diggle up for an adventure. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12126795/chapters/27504684

Love and Little Cupcakes multi-chapter Complete by @christinabeggs​ - Felicity loved sweets so much that she paid no attention to her lovelife. Until Thea Queen came into her store wanting fabulous cupcakes for her sixteenth birthday. SO ADORABLE! http://archiveofourown.org/works/12400539/chapters/28216053

We Ended as Lovers multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert​ - Three years ago, Felicity’s life was perfect. She was offered a job at two great companies. Her boyfriend just started his own fashion label, and they picked a perfect apartment to live in together. The more heartbroken she was when Oliver got cold feet and it all ended. Now, Felicity is coming back to Starling City, well aware that she is destined to run into her ex-boyfriend there. While old feelings revive quickly, the pain still goes deep. Besides, for some reason Oliver seems to be angry with her. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22034827/chapters/52587292

A King of Heroes multi-chapter WIP by @geneshaven​ - a fantasy version of Arrow with Oliver as a Prince!  https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/189976017469/a-king-of-heroes

People Always Leave by riverwoodhills - "Because if you're gonna leave me, I'd rather you just do it!" He thinks he might throw up. He's pretty sure that with that one sentence, she's just ripped his heart out and stabbed it, set it on fire, blown it up. He doesn't even know what to say. She thought he was going to leave her. Pain ripples through his body, his mind in shambles. He wants to sweep her into his arms, reassure her with everything he has that she's his forever, that there's nothing in this world he wants more than to love her for the rest of his life. He doesn't even know if that would be enough, or if that's what she needs. It's what he needs, but he has to think about her now, so he starts with words. OR Oliver and Felicity talk about the William situation like adults and Oliver realizes that Felicity still has lasting issues stemming from her father that she may have for the rest of her life https://archiveofourown.org/works/22043128

New Year's Eve by flipflops - The much requested follow-up to Last Christmas. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22056895

A Promise of What's to Come by @blondeeoneexox​ - Oliver asks Felicity to a New Year's Eve mayoral gala. He didn't expect what was coming next. Set in Season 5. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22058332

Elizabeth Grace Smoak multi-chapter WIP by @lynn8828​ - What if Felicity and Oliver briefly had met before he got on the Gambit? Despite her best efforts, Felicity was unable to get in contact with the famous Oliver Queen after having a one night stand with him and getting pregnant with his child. After raising their child for five years after finding out that Oliver died on the Gambit, she finds out he is alive and knows that she needs to tell him about their daughter. But will he believe her? AMAZING STORY!! http://archiveofourown.org/works/13639371/chapters/31322715

2315 N. Highbury Ave. multi-chapter WIP by @cruzrogue​ - Overnight Felicity becomes homeless and she keeps this from Oliver because their friendship is strained and he’s already stressed out enough. Its only a matter of time that some bottled-up feelings will come to the surface. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21447388/chapters/51108508

It's in the Air multi-chapter WIP by @emmilynestill​ - December 23, 2016. It’s Mayor Queen’s first holiday party and love is in the air. No, wait, that’s tension in the air. Bitterness. Regret. Painful longing for one’s former love. Awkward interactions with current significant others. A little humiliation mixed in. Yup, this was one great party. Then the gas came. Maybe love was in the air Afterall. Just my usual lock Oliver and Felicity in a room with a mind-altering substance with a dash of holiday magic thrown in. And, by magic, I mean Sex Pollen. And maybe a little Truth Serum to stir things up. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21552481

Leaving by @tangled23works​ - Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak have been married for 18 months when she finds the courage to ask for a divorce. For some reason, her husband is adamantly against that. He tries to keep her close because he thinks they belong together. She tries to keep him away because she thinks they have nothing in common. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22085614

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper// @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 // @laxit21 // - let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged! 

[ddagent]

Shipping Post Game

Tagged by @soreidy27, @sohereforyou, @resthefuture, @green-arrows-of-karamel and I know there’s been a couple of other people, too.

Three Ships

Ser Jaime Lannister/Ser Brienne of Tarth (JB/Game of Thrones)

A year ago, I was looking at stepping back from fandom and focusing on my original work. Then Jaime knighted Brienne, and I was gone. I haven’t felt as inspired as I have in years, and I am just so excited about all the ideas I’m going to write, and the stories I have yet to read (and the actual books, too!)

Nate Ford/Sophie Devereux (Nophie/Leverage)

A friend recced Leverage and I binged all five seasons in nine days. The show is incredible, and their relationship is just beautifully done. How it grows from them being enemies, to allies, to their slow (at least on Nate’s part) fall into romance...and it ends happily! What more can a girl ask for?

Special Agent Clarice Starling/Doctor Hannibal Lecter (Clannibal/SOTL,H)

As my list seems to be enemies-to-lovers, I thought I’d end with one of my older ships. There is something truly intriguing about their relationship, both in the original books, and in the films (although the original book ending is far superior). Also, like all three of these ships, there are some truly haunting romantic lines.

What did I last eat?

Mini eggs. All the Easter chocolate is in the shops, now, and I am obsessed. Want to bribe me for a prompt? Easter chocolate is the way to go. 

What did I last listen to?

What a Man Gotta Do by the Jonas Brothers. 

What did I last watch?

Forever (2014-15). It’s nice to rewatch old stuff, and not only is Ioan incredibly easy on the eye, but it’s good research for my immortal!JB fic.

What am I currently reading?

Nothing atm, not even fic. With sinus issues, it’s difficult to focus on a story.

Tag nine people you want to know better: My head’s starting to hurt again so names escape me, but if you want to do it, go right ahead! <3

[iminyourhandskara]

Battles Lost and Won - Karamel One Shot

A rewrite of the season 3 finale.

in this version, winn didn't leave for the 31st century and brainy goes with the legion, it is not brainiac the legion is fighting in the future. enjoy!

________________

“Well you did it. Just like a Greek myth. You went down to the underworld and slayed the three-headed monster and saved Persephone.” Mon-El approached Kara on the DEO balcony, somewhere they’ve found each other pretty often in the last few months, somewhere they shared a lot of advices and conversations only they could have. Kara smiled looking down before correcting Mon-El’s still flattering comment, “Uh, I think in the myth Persephone eats pomegranate seeds and is confined to the realm of Hades forever.”

“Yeah well that just strengthens my point because the Greek Gods have nothing on you.” He continued without missing a beat, overwhelming Kara for a second. “It was far from perfect, for many reasons but..I couldn’t have done it without you.“ He had been the partner she had always dreamed of, ever since he landed on Earth and she took him under her wing. They could understand each other so well and predict each other’s moves with a look: but that ability didn’t come from their trainings or fights together on the battlefield. Quite the opposite. “No, that’s not true. This victory was yours. And it was flawless.” Mon-El had always been so sincere when it came to complimenting Kara, she recognized his honesty by simply looking at his eyes, she swore she could still see the shadow of the boy from Daxam she loved over a year ago.

“What’s on your mind?” “Before we went to Argo, I just had this thought that I could be Kara Zor-El, ordinary citizen..I would feel like I was home. But when we were fighting Reign and the witches, I had this moment, this realization that Argo City is not my home anymore. National City is. Earth is. And my mission is to protect it. My whole life is here.” She took a breath, “Messy. Complex. Balancing Kara and being a hero, that’s…that’s who I am.” Was she satisfied with this realization, though? Was Kara actually happy to give up that girl from Krypton, because Earth had welcomed her? Because she felt like she owed something to this planet? There was no denying that she had no other choice than to be only Kara Danvers, how could she be Kara Zor-El without…

“I have loved fighting by your side. Being there through all of it, the ups and down, the particularly tough days.” Mon-El interrupted her with a broken voice, his eyes were visibly covered in tears; whatever was coming, Mon-El didn’t want to say it, and most importantly, Kara didn’t want to hear it.  “You know for a moment there, I thought that maybe this was my place. My time.”

“It is. It is.” An echo haunted both of their minds, it just couldn’t reach their lips. “But I learned some troubling things today about the future.” And finally..the dreaded words, came with a tremble in his voice. “I need to go back.“

His heart shut off, he shut out everything that anchored him to National City, giving voice only to Mon-El the Legionnaire, the Leader. “I can’t abandon the Legion or the world that I swore to protect right when they need me most.” ’Duty over happiness. Duty over love. Earth comes first. I don’t want to go. But I have to go.’

“I know you can’t. You wouldn’t be the man you are if you did, the man I admire so much.” ‘Don’t go. Don’t go. Please. I made that mistake a year ago. Don’t go. We can make it work. Don’t go.’ Looking at Mon-El and hearing what he had to say, Kara relived the day she hated the most. It was like he was repeating the same things she thought to convince herself that back then, sending him away was the right choice.

“Well I guess we both have some saving to do.” ‘There’s nothing we can do. We tried. We belong to different worlds.’ A bitter chuckle escaped his mouth, when all he wanted to do was scream. His feet started to walk away from Kara and Mon-El realized that this really was the end of their story, until he stopped in his tracks and removed his Legion Ring from his finger: “Hey. It’s about time you had one of your own”

He had her necklace, she had his ring. “Thanks.” Tears were forming in Kara’s eyes, inevitably, she almost wanted to yell at him to go away and make things easier: she didn’t want him to know how much it hurt to say goodbye once again, she didn’t want Mon-El to feel guilty of her pain, she didn’t want him to see her being so vulnerable.

“In case you ever need me.” He said so softly, like it was a dying breath, like it was his last caress on her cheek and just like that..he left. Mon-El said goodbye to the world he wished he could call his home, but just couldn’t; Mon-El simply was a piece of a game that was way bigger than him.

In the meantime, Kara cried on the balcony. The city below her feet was so loud, while she had been so quiet. Those words she couldn’t say before filled her stomach like a weight that hurt too much. Why was she back at the same point? Why couldn’t she let her thoughts come out? Why did she let Mon-El go again? Why? Why?

Kara’s elbows rested on the balcony, her hands were covering her face, her sobs barely audible when she felt a touch on her shoulder. “Kara.” “Imra?” She was definitely the person she least expected to see in that moment. “I know it’s a difficult moment, but I wrote this..you need to read it. You deserve to know all the truth.”

The Kryptonian dried her cheeks quickly, confused by whatever she meant, but thankful. “Thank you, Imra.” “You’re welcome.” She smiled before turning away, not wanting to make this more painful than it already was for Kara. “One thing..” “Yes?” “Keep an eye on him for me.” Imra nodded sadly, but determined to keep her word, she knew that the bond they shared was something she couldn’t even comprehend.

"Mom? I know you have to go back to Argo City but... can you please stay one more night? I would like to show you where I live and..I really need my mom right now.” Kara smiled at Alura, but the woman could easily see that something was broken inside of her daughter’s eyes: it didn’t take long for her to figure out what the problem was. “Of course, my dear.” The mother pulled Kara in her arms for a hug; she caressed her blond locks just like she did when she had nightmares as a child, Kara’s head rested on her shoulder as she breathed shakily. “It’s okay,” Alura consoled her, “I’m here, it’s alright.”

 Kara opened the door of her apartment, “And this..is where I live. Kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom’s on the left.” She pointed at each room. “It looks cozy in here! What do you usually do on nights like these?” “Nights like what?” “After such a big victory.” Kara laughed as she placed her purse on a chair and her glasses on the table, “I don’t really have..a tradition.” “You should have.” “I’ve only been doing this superheroing thing for a few years, I’ve had a couple of victories like this but..I never had the chance to celebrate.” The grin from her face had disappeared, after realizing that she never felt truly satisfied about those battles she had won: she always had a parallel battle lost. Alura’s voice shifted, she knew that her daughter was thinking about something heaving on her heart, “Come sit here.”

Kara chewed on her lower lip, “I was just thinking..when we beat Non and Indigo we were celebrating, until a pod crashed..and it was Mon-El’s.” “I guess it’s time to bring up that talk we mentioned back then on Argo, what do you think?” She inhaled deeply, “Then last year, we beat the Daxamites but I was more devastated than happy; we used a lead diffuser to have them retreat and I had to send Mon-El away. For months I believed I had killed him. Then it turned out, he actually hit a disruption that sent him to the 31st century and that’s where he spent seven years.. until we found his ship.” “That’s a lot to take in..” “And the worst part of it all, was that for just for one second I thought we could pick things up from where we had left them but.. he got married. Imra is his wife.” Kara had gotten so used to that word, to that phrase she pronounced many times, but it still hurt enough to make her close her eyes. “And are they still together?” “I guess, why do you ask?” “I saw them talking on the DEO balcony before, I saw them hugging but it didn’t seem like a..married couple hug.” “Mom, I appreciate you wanting to make the pill easier to swallow, but—wait. I just remembered that Imra gave me a letter to read.” “Really? What did she say?” “Not much, only that ‘I deserved to know the whole truth’, whatever that means.” “What are you waiting for? Open it!” Kara stood up and walked to take the letter in her purse, “What if I don’t want to read this? What if there’s something that hurts me written inside of this letter?” Her heart started pounding, she couldn’t bear more pain. “Then I’ll be with you, by your side.” Alura had a point, no matter what was written in that letter, Kara didn’t have to go through hurt by herself. She was going to be okay. Taking one more deep breath, she noticed a few crossed words and scribbles, she started reading out loud sitting near her mom: “Dear Kara, I’m writing this in a rush and I know we didn’t really have the opportunity to talk one on one while I was in National City and we often fought over our plans on how to defeat the Worldkillers, but I want to tell you all the things I couldn’t say or..didn’t want to say before. Just know that your example has truly shaped all of the Legionnaires into the heroes we are now, and I’m sorry if I lost sight of what we stand for when my family came in between. And finally..you probably hate the mention of the seven years Mon-El has spent in the 31st century but please, keep reading. You think you know the truth, but you only know the shell of it: when the Blight killed my sister, my parents took all their rage and fury on humans, planning on destroying Earth. This happened not long after I met Mon-El, right when the Legion was founded; we were team mates and friends, he was still suffering and mourning you, not knowing what he had to do to honor you or what you would have done in his place. We had to unite Earth and Titan to find peace, before it was too late. My father decided we had to get married. Mon-El was not in love with me, I wasn’t in love with him, but those were the rules if we didn’t want another war breaking out. Over time, my feelings became more real, and also his: that is, at least, what he wanted to think; we got used to each other but we were never truly in love. Not like you two were. For all those years I’ve seen him fidgeting with his necklace whenever he was depressed, conflicted, in a dark place. His necklace was his only anchor, it gave Mon-El hope in the most difficult times and I suspect you have something to do with it: he never told us anything about it, he’s really possessive of it. Him and I aren’t together anymore, his love for you never faded away, it’s clear to see. He still loves you with all his heart. I’m so sorry new missions got in the way and Mon-El needed to go back. I truly wanted him to stay with you: he’s different, he is happier, he seems healthier when he’s around your team at the DEO. The 31st century deteriorated him, but I promise you we will not let anything bad happen to him. Imra.”

The tears were now flowing down Kara’s cheeks, she didn’t even have the strength to say a word; she was petrified by all the words she had just read, the whole truth had overwhelmed her. Alura was just as shocked, but kept holding her daughter close. It surely wasn’t an easy bite to swallow. “Mom..I thought he moved on.” Kara managed to say through sobs, “Do you know how many times I told myself to move on and be happy because that’s what he did? How many times I had to pretend to be okay in front of them and repeat to myself that there was nothing to do?” Kara didn’t know if she had to be mad at herself, at Imra, at Mon-El, at Rao, at the whole universe that kept bringing them back together just to tear them apart again: she felt every single emotion flowing through her veins, yet she had never felt that weak. Then all at once, the realization: he had never stopped loving her. Kara had been afraid that all the words he had told her in Argo City, in that dream like garden, were just a product of an infatuation based on memories; she believed that was just a spur of the moment thing and he would’ve gone back to his wife, but now, she knew that she had fooled herself. “It’s too late now..I wasted too much time focusing on defeating Reign that I forgot to talk to Mon-El..about us. I should’ve told him to stay, mom..he would’ve stayed.” She threw that piece of paper on the floor. ”Before he left.. I- I gave him your necklace. Do you remember what you told me before sending me away from Krypton?” ”That the necklace would’ve kept you safe and I would’ve been with you in your dreams.” Her eyes closed once again, nodding, devastated. ”Mom, I loved him.” ”I know, Kara..” The brokenness in her voice had become prominent, her pauses were replaced by sobs and there was nothing Alura could’ve said that would’ve made that pain easier to handle.

The next morning, Kara hadn’t really woken up, since she hadn’t slept at all, but her alarm clock momentarily interrupted the tornado of thoughts that haunted her: it was the same cycle starting all over again. Loving someone always ended up with leaving. The regret covered all her face, Kara hadn’t let Mon-El stay. That was the thing she needed the most in that moment: someone who would stay. “I can’t leave you like this.” Alura said worryingly, she knew she had responsibilities on Argo City as part of the Council, but family came first. “No, no, you have to go. You have a city to take care of. I’ll be fine.” “Kara, please stop this.” “Stop what?” “Pretending you’re fine.” She paused, “I didn’t say I’m fine. I said I will be.” “Then let me stay until you are.” “I can’t let you stay here knowing that there’s a planet waiting for one of its leaders.” “Is this Supergirl talking? Or Kara, my Kara Zor-El?” Kara shook her head, not seeing the point in her mother’s question. “What do you mean?” “For a second, stop worrying so much about responsibility and work, stop worrying about what’s morally correct, stop caring about other people. Stop being Supergirl. For a second, be only Kara; now tell me, would you want me to stay? Until I know you’re alright?” That question opened a hole in Kara’s heart, she definitely didn’t expect such a thing: she had stopped seeing herself as “Only Kara” in the moment she put on that red cape, she had never allowed herself to see things from that perspective. Kara remembered what Cat Grant once told her, when she wanted to rescue Mon-El and Lena without hitting the Daxamite ship, “Wanting to rescue them is not selfish, it’s everything.” Feeling love, sadness, anger or wanting someone by her side wasn’t selfish, it wasn’t a favor she was doing for herself, it was everything. This was what being human was all about, it wasn’t about having a normal job and a normal life. “Yes.” With a weak voice, Kara finally replied truthfully.

It had been a week since Alura decided to stay, but since Kara was comfortable again in her daily routine, they both decided it was time to separate. “Let’s not make this more emotional than what it already is, okay? Winn is already working on a new spaceship with J’onn, but until then we have the portal.” Kara smiled, “Thank you for everything, mom.” “I love you.” “I love you, too.” They hugged each other for long seconds, before waving goodbye: Alura smiled back at her daughter and her team, which was also a second family she had loved to meet.

Obviously much time had gotten lost, but they knew now there was so much to spend ahead of the two of them, Kara had been so grateful to receive a second chance with her mom; she wished she could’ve said the same thing about Mon-El. Their second chance passed them by without realizing, one was wondering what the other was thinking, assuming they didn’t love each other anymore and their time was over. The loft was incredibly silent in that evening, a deafening silence she only noticed in the first months Mon-El was gone but then went away with time and help by her friends, whether it was a game or a movie night.

But again, Kara decided to not host those nights for a while, having to get used to loneliness once more: as she was sipping her coffee after dinner watching television, a knock interrupted the quietness; apparently, her friends were too stubborn and wanted to organize a surprise game night, or so she thought, until..she opened the door. “Hi.” Kara almost closed the door again, thinking it was a mirage, a bad prank her brain was pulling on her, but no. It was real, he was real. Mon-El was standing in front of her and she was doing absolutely nothing. except for breathing heavily. She couldn’t even get a word out, so she decided to pull him into her arms and let that do the talking. “How- how are you here?” His hands, just like hers, kept caressing her hair onto her back. “It might have been eight years, but I would never forget where your apartment is.” Mon-El smiled gleefully. “I meant here, in National City, in the 21st century.” “Oh, that! Well..Brainy dropped me here.” They finally walked into the apartment and closed the door, “Wow.” Mon-El hadn’t been in that place in eight years and he was overwhelmed, Kara smiled tearfully at that,“Come sit here.” A strange feeling of déjà-vu crossed both of them, “Tell me what happened.” “I- I don’t even know exactly what happened. All I know was that once we arrived in the future, things were different than what Brainy had told.” “But he’s never wrong, I mean, mathematically speaking at least.” “Yeah, I thought so too. But he said that the past changed because of a disruption, therefore the future had changed too. The enemy we were supposed to defeat had already been dead for centuries, because someone we both know had killed him.” “Wait, who?” “Technically, I’m not supposed to say it because it could change the future, but he has your same glyph but doesn’t wear a skirt.” Kara and Mon-El laughed like they hadn’t in months, both still not believing that they were on that couch together again. A little hesitantly, Kara asked Mon-El: “What made you..come back? I thought you said that this wasn’t your place.” Mon-El knew that that question was coming, he knew he was going to sound like a hypocrite: “In the moment I stepped back there, I realized that I didn’t belong to that place anymore. The Legion was the only thing that kept me there,but I had taught them all I had to teach. I used to call it my home because I thought that was the reality I was destined to live in. It was time to be a little selfish again, for once. Imra is the leader now, I’m not needed anymore in the 31st century. So, that’s why I’m back.” ‘It’s you, I’m here for you.’ was what he truly meant. Kara looked at Mon-El silently for a few seconds: “I..I hit that disruption.” “What?” His eyes went wide, “How?” “I used your legion ring. In the previous version of the timeline, I didn’t handle things well with Reign. I managed to kill her but..she killed my mom and..” “And?” Mon-El’s hand was absentmindedly stroking hers on her knee, something he once did every time he was worried about Kara. “And she hit J’onn too, but you pushed him out of her way. She killed you, too.” Her hand was now on top of his, her gaze lowered. Mon-El grabbed her chin, making Kara look at him. “But you’re here now.” “Now I am.” Both had learned an important lesson about time, and that was it wasn’t supposed to be wasted: his hand dropped from her chin, kissing her softly like the first time, but hunger and passion accompanied his sweetness. Kara leaned naturally into Mon-El’s hands, they were moving in a perfect synch. It was like a lifetime had passed since they last lay on that couch and their lips and tongues met, but not for their bodies that knew one another so well; their touches sent electric shocks down their spines, they could feel these wonderful sensations only when they were together. For so long they believed they couldn’t feel that way ever again, but despite all the odds, Mon-El was now carrying Kara to her bed and giggling between the kisses, high on love. That was definitely going to be the happiest night they’ve had in years. It had become so easy for them to give up on romance as superheroes, to be pessimistic and believe that the worst was yet to come; after all they had been through, thinking that happy endings weren’t meant for Supergirl and Valor had become the safest option. At the end they could see that even if it sounded like a cliché, love could find a way, love did find a way.

_________________

thank you for reading, i hope you guys liked this! i promised myself and all of you that i would've wrote something based on the finale in the moment i watched it, and two months later i finally did it! i apologise for mistakes or repetitions, let me know what you guys think in my inbox and in your reblogs❤️❤️

[akane171]

Haha, yess, that's you😂 Which only made it double funny 🤣🤣

Ohh, Yeah, no, the puppies are perfect, we're just kinda fighting over their custody...I think?😅🤷🏻‍♀️ I'M NOT GIVING UP ON LOVING THOSE PUPPIES, DAMMIT!😭😭

With both of our track records, I can't even act like I'm surprised we both like Itachi and his relationship with his Brother (and his parents, OMG, that last talk before he killed them😭😭 and ohhhhh, SHISUI😭😭😭) 

Gotta agree on that, I love how it was so focused on friendship (even more so than animes like Fairy Tail that supposedly are about friendship but kinda get lost in romance) and it *is* very refreshing compared to Western shows (not including your mentioned examples) but it was indeed kinda weird how obsessive (and at some point even kinda toxic) they made Naruto and Sasuke's friendship😅 Esp. with the kinds retconning they did later where Shikamaru (and Choji) actually seemed to have been the first same-aged people to accept Naruto, not Sasuke😅 Tho Sasuke at least still had the "most relatable cause he doesn't have a family either" things going 🤔😅🙈

Ohh, sounds interesting and yes, I think I've read a few similar texts 🤔 It's actually kinda sad how men can't have bffs without society immediately assuming shit... A few weeks ago I actually heard a grown man say "my best friend" for once and I honestly just sat there and was like "Heck yeah, he's comfortable af in his sexuality and masculinity, how wonderful", just internally cheering at that😂🙈 SOCIETY SHOULD ALLOW MEN (or anyone at all, really) TO HAVE BESTIES WITHOUT GIVING THEM HELL FOR IT!😩

...PShhhhh🤫🤫🤫 What my mind doesn't realize can't make me ugly-sob in the corner til it's over🙈😖😂 Let's just ignore that thought and focus on how hopefully at the end they'll have (at least) two little Karamel!kiddos running around them while they are happily married😍

... Okay, shit, now that brainwash thought already got stuck in my head🙈🤦🏻‍♀️😖 Oh god, imagine Kara and post-brainwashed!Mon "playing" Katniss and Peeta's "Real, not real" game😰😰😰🙈🙈

You are not sorry😖😑

...please tell me that's NOT what you have thought up as the end and instead maybe Mon returns (knowing you, he's probably at least hurt) some months/years later?🤨🙈

DAMNIT NEEDS BOTH HIS PARENTS! DON'T MAKE THE POOR DOG HALF AN ORPHAN😭😭😭

"Dude from Magic Mike"...I've never watched that but do you mean Channing Tatum (the main lead in that movie?)😂 But ohhh, what's the movie called, it doesn't sound half bad🤔🤔

Definitely😂

Well, there's still that whole theory that Loki in Avengers was brainwashed/mind-controlled by Thanos cause his eyes were blue instead of green, but yes, I doubt Mon would manage anything that malicious of his own accord🙈 And aww, yeah, Thor and Mon do have the Space-Puppy-ness in common😍😂😂

Ohh, Tyler Hoechlin is confirmed too now? Nicee😍💃🏻 Haha, I'll keep my fingers crossed your wish will come true, but I feel like you might get dissapointed on that front😅🙈🙈🙈

Top 10-15 songs?😶😯 Uff, you're asking stuff😂 Like, I'm not even sure myself which songs that list would make up😅😅 It kinda depends on my mood and which genre and language you mean, too🤔 Uhh, of the english songs, generally I suppose I (almost) never skip "In the end" and "Numb" by Linkin Park, "House of Memories" and I write sins not tragedies" by Panic! at the Disco, uhhh "Panic Room" by Theory of A Deadman, "Can you feel my Heart" by Bring me the Horizon.... uhhhh....uhhhh... Do you mind if I think on this first?😂 My brain literally can't come up with ANY song I know rn 😅🙈

WAIT WAIT WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO LW'S WRIST?!?!?!😱😰😱😰😱😰

XXX

So what, you and LW are married, divorcing and fighting for a custody? INTENSE!

Yep. He was the MVP of the series. Maybe because there was not a lot about him and he was for long time a mystery? So Kishimoto couldn't have fucked him, like he did with the most of the other characters xD

Well, Naruto acted like a pysycho fangirl when you think about it xD But it was nice that they seen themselves as brothers, without romantwic feelings. And in a way, when you think about Winchesters for example, they were super toxic too.

Hmm, if i remember correctly, but my memory is shit, Sasuke and Naruto acknowledged themselves not long after Itachi did the boo boo. But the fact is... Naruto had much better (healthier) friends, but I guess because since the begining there was rivalry, the sharing "no family" etc. it was so important for both of them. Because gaining it was so tough? At least for Naruto. This or that, it was interesting to follow.

Imagine how LOW the bar is. From what I remember, in the past showing affection in male x male friendship was something normal. But then homophobia happened and here we are. Not only males are fucked but females too, thanks to it. XXI century :))))) AAAAAAA!!!!!!

Hopefully!

Yep, that would be crushing.... still entertaining xD

No? I mean so far I have never ended my story as pure tragedy, so maybe I finally should :P

Life is brutal! Even for the dogs?

But ok, ok, it would be a happy ending. Probably.

The movie is called The Vow. And yes, that dude, never remember his name, lol. It was an ok movie. I just don't like him, because he is not the best actor, in my humble opinion. And he sucks in romantic roles.

Oh the fan theories xD I mean, Loki in the later movies/shows, behaved a little different, so maybe? Haven't seen the Loki show, tho. Loki is another example of sad tragic character, when you think about it. Maybe Sasuke would have ended like that, if Itachi hadn't killed anyone and Sasuke had to lust for his fahter's attention xDDDD

Yeah, I mean Mon is a little... more... sneaky? And less happy go lucky, but still imagine them both on a party - the world would end with a blast xD

Yes, he is! There was some pic with him on the set, so yay! i just wonder who is the kid's mother. Because it doesn't seem it is Breaden :/

Like duh, all my ships always go to shit, so *rolls eyes*

I see you suffer from the similar song disease aka who knows what song I'm going to torture myself and other people with today xD

Yes, I am asking stuff ;3 Searching for some new music and well, your fave music tells a lot about you, I think? xD

Aww, i like the Linkin Park's song too. As for the Panic! and the rest - interesting. Gimme me moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Well, she said it hurt two days ago but it's better now and she takes care of it and let's say I "believe" her =_______________=' So, maybe in the next anon tell her to take care of herself =='

[raisedbyfandomwolves]

Q. First, if we lose our eyes, we won't be able to see/read Karamel anymore... Second, uhm, can we work on interdimensional travel first before trying to synthsize human organs, esp. sth as complex as eyes?😅🙈 Q. I EXPLICITLY SAID DON'T YOU EVEN DARE!! Q2. 😊😭 Q. HAHAHA yeag, I imagine he would 😂 About Genshin: I'm starting to believe that too... My Friend plays an Otome Game (sth I'd never play tbh) and got me attached to a character there too, who we later learned might end up dying...[TBC]

TBC: So maybe there really is just sth about tragic characters that calls to me... 😫 (Technically, wouldn't Mon-el count as a tragic character, too? Cause it's his fault I got into SG..) And Haha, Yess, it's so much fun 😍 (tho distracting you still sounds counterproductive...) Q. Ahh, nice, thanks for the clear-up! 😊 And I'm really glad you found the song now!😊🤗 Btw, 10 Episodes into Steins;Gate I'm really worried what you'll do with the time travel in PiaD... 😨😳😅 S;G is awesome tho!😱😍

Q. A temporary setback we will fix not with weak regrown flesh but CYBERNETIC IMPLANTS! Because a mad scientist must dream big in the name of SCIENCE! And we can do both at once! Because we are MAD SCIENTISTS!

Q. AND YET YOU BROUGHT IT UP FIRST! IF THAT ISN'T REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY THEN WHAT IS?!

Q. He totally would but we all know deep down he's kind of sort of grateful. Very deep down. Especially since he can pass that knowledge on to Kara so she can protect herself... although I imagine Hal-Ed definitely would have had a coronary if he'd known that a Kryptonian would one day end up benefiting from his actions, lol.

...Yep, that definitely sounds like you've got some kind of angst sixth sense drawing you to doomed characters... and considering how the fanon finale went, Mon-El DEFINITELY counts...

Distracting me IS counterproductive... but I've been told more than once that I need to have more than writing or I'll burn myself out...

Q. No problem! ^_^

Oh, you've made it that far in, huh... Have tissues and heart medication ready by the truckloads is all I can say. And don't worry, I won't make either Kara or Mon-El have to... I'll stop myself there to avoid spoiling things... >.>;;

Speaking of which, that reminds me: Remember I mentioned the OVA and you said it didn't seem to be available? I don't have Netflix so I can't check myself but if you see that there are 25 episodes listed then that means they've already included the OVA in the 'lineup'. (The original anime length was just 24 episodes.) If it really isn't there, I think someone actually put it on YouTube so you can watch it there instead. Not sure about the movie though... If that isn't on Netflix, I'll try to find you another source for it.

[karamelsecretsanta]

Karamel Fanfic: As long as you are safe

Author: @emarasmoak

Rating: General Audiences

Characters’ tags: Kara Danvers, Mon-El, Imra Ardeen, Querl Dox, Winn Schott

Additional tags: Karamel Secret Santa 2017, KSS 2017, Karamel fanfic, Karamel endgame, Angst, Legion of Super-Heroes

Fic summary: Mon-El has been able to keep focused on the mission, but this may change once Brainiac meets Kara. Written after 3x09.

Notes: This fic is a gift for @chriswoodfandom and part of the 2017 Karamel Secret Santa Exchange

Merry Christmas, darling!!! I love your blob and your endless fangirling about Mon-El, Karamel and Chris Wood!! (3 of my favourite things in the world). This is a multi-chapter story and I’m working on it.

Also I want to send a million thanks to my wonderful beta, @kbcountry37-blog. She is the best! All mistakes are only mine.

Chapter 1: Brainiac’s move

Chapter summary: Brainiac asks Kara out on a date in Mon-El’s presence. Mon-El’s POV.

———————————————————————–

We have just finished the debrief after our return from Fort Rozz and I hear Brainiac talk to Kara.

“Our records mentioned your strength and your intelligence, but I see that they do not properly reflect your beauty and grace. I have heard Mon-El talk about your eyes often but I was not aware that your hair could shine like that. Watching you fight was exciting. I find you very attractive.” Said Querl.

I can see Kara glancing at me with a pained expression when Querl mentions me, but she then looks back at him with an akward smile.

“Err… thanks, I guess.” Kara says.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?” Querl asks her.

“What?” Kara responds.

“What?“ I say. It seems that Kara and I have spoken at the same time.

“Dinner. With me. Isn’t this the appropriate social convention when someone has a romantic interest in a woman in this century?” Querl asks.

Kara blushes, and opens her mouth to respond to Querl and I suddenly find myself talking before she can say a word. "You can’t.“ I declare.

"I can’t?" Querl asks as he looks back at me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 

"They can’t?" asks Winn with very wide eyes.

Damn Brainiac. Is he doing this to irritate me? It is working. Annoying jerk.

I can hear Imra’s voice inside my head. "What are you doing, Mon-El?”

I can feel Kara’s eyes on me and I try to ignore everyone else while I speak to Querl. “You can’t. We have to work on our ship. We need to repair it. Remember?" I ask him with a pointed expression.

"You can keep on working on that on your own. Aren’t you a qualified engineer?" Querl challenges me.

He knows perfectly well that the ship is not that broken and that we could fix it if we wanted to. I cross my arms and I try to give him my best "this is an order” face. "I am. But I need to pick your brain on the therian pump. Isn’t superior intelligence your superpower, Brainy? We have go to the ship right now.“ I say. 

My face is a scowl and I can sense Imra’s voice. She is almost face palming. "Both of you! Stop whatever this stupid game is. Grief, I work with children" Imra says in our heads.

"Okay. I will follow your orders as our supreme leader.” I can hear amusement in his voice. “Kara, I still want to have dinner with you whenever possible. Maybe tomorrow?” Querl says.

“Sure. Make it tomorrow.” Kara says with exasperation in her voice.

Uh oh. I know this tone. Kara is angry. Probably at me.

“Yes, she is.“ Imra states in my head.

Querl looks at me again and winks. What is he up to? Brainiac smiles at Kara and leaves. I start moving towards the exit after him and then I hear her voice.

"Mon-El, wait." Kara says. 

She has put her hand on my elbow and I feel powerless.

"I need to talk you for a second. Alone.” Kara says.

I open my mouth to say "No”. 

“Please?” Kara asks.

“Mon-El, don’t!“ Imra says telepathically.

Kara's eyes have always been my Kryptonite. "Of course. Do you want to talk somewhere else?” I ask her.

“Sure. The training room will do.” Kara states.

Imra gives me a warning in my head. “Remember that I cannot help you unless we are in the same room.“ 

“I know." I reply. I can feel Imra’s worry while I leave with Kara.

I enter the room after her, and she ensures that the window blinds and the doors are closed. Then she turns around and looks at me.

"What was that?” Kara asks.

Crap.

“What was what?” I reply.

She scoffs, "I can’t believe it.“ She says.

Yep, she is very angry with me now.

"What?" I say. I try to look like I don’t know what she is talking about, but I’m well aware that it won’t work.

"Stop this. You don’t get to act as if I am anyone else. You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.” Kara says.

I do. But I still hope that if I fake ignorance she will let this go. 

“No, I don’t.” I reply.

She huffs and gets closer to me. Rao, help me. I just want to kiss her so bad.

“You forget that I know you, and this is not the first time that I have seen this display of macho jealousy. It doesn’t look good on you, Mon-El.” Kara tells me.

“Jealousy? Pffft. No. Querl…” I say.

“Mon-El, please” Kara says. She looks at me with sadness in her eyes. "Please don’t do this. Not to me. I don’t understand you. I’m so confused. I need you to be honest with me. Please, Mon-El. What is going on with you?“ 

It breaks my heart that I can’t be honest. I hesitate. Rao, I hate this. I feel a pain in my chest and I look into her eyes. I can see unshed tears and I feel the need to hug her. I want to touch her face. I need to kiss her. She looks at my lips and I look at hers. I can feel her body so close to mine. My heart is stammering in my chest. I shouldn’t kiss her. Our breaths are mingling now. Our foreheads are almost touching and I can see turmoil in her eyes. My hand starts to move towards her face. 

I have to leave immediately. I move away from her. I cannot look at her, or I will kiss her and damned be the world. "I’m sorry, Kara. I have to go now.” I tell her.

“But…” she says.

At this point I’m almost running out of the room, and I feel like a coward.

I go to the ship, and I find Imra waiting for me in the Legion common room. I start to pace around the big table. 

“It didn’t go well, did it?” Imra asks me.

“You know that I hate when you enter my mind without my permission, Imra.” I tell her.

“Should I remind you that I have your permission to do it whenever I feel that it is necessary to keep you focused on the plan? Your plan. Your orders. And we both know that you were about to tell everything to Kara. And I didn’t even need to enter your mind to know it. It is obvious.” Imra states.

I stop near her and scratch my face. "I’m sorry, Imra. You are right. And I know that you are trying to help. It’s just… I couldn’t control my emotions. I shouldn’t have let Querl’s words to mess me up.“ I say.

"Yeah, I wonder what he is up to. He likes his games. And I accept your apology.” Imra replies.

“Thank you, Imra. I mean it.” I say. She nods and I sit down defeated in the chair closer to her. "I know that he can’t help behaving as an obnoxious jerk sometimes, but right now I have an intense desire to punch him in the face.“ 

"Yeah, I know the feeling. He has that effect on people.” Imra replies.

We both laugh and she then briefly touches my hand. "Are you okay? I can feel that you are having several conflicting emotions inside you.“ Imra states.

I scoff. That is the understatement of the year. I still feel an intense desire to go to the DEO, find Kara and kiss her senseless. I am upset because I can’t. I am so worried since her first fight with Reign. I swear to Rao that I thought that our records were wrong and that she was going to die. I have been so scared since that moment. Without Imra’s help I would have been unable to remain calm and focused on the mission.

I avoid Imra’s gaze. "Kara wanted to know what was going on with me. I lied to her again. I hate myself. I’m not being honest with her, and I’m hurting her.” I say.

“I know how you feel, Mon-El. Believe me, I know. I am the one that is helping you control your emotions, remember? You were the one who asked me to do it. And I still don’t like it. Kara should know the truth.” Imra tells me.

“You don’t know her, Imra. She would not care about her safety. It’s just the way she is.” I state.

“Even if we explain to her that her life is the key for the future of the world? That her survival is the only thing that can stop the spread of the darkness? That maybe that would prevent the World Killers from murdering Garth?” Imra says.

I look at Imra and I see one single tear in her face. I take her hand. Garth’s death was difficult for everyone, but I was the only one who could understand her pain about losing the love of her life forever.

We stay in silence for a minute, and then I talk again. "I know Kara. She will say that she will find another way, and she will try. In the end, it may not be sufficient. When the moment comes, she will not put her safety above others and everything will be lost. She can be a bit stubborn, you know.“ I explain to Imra.

"Then she reminds me of someone. Mon-El, you should at least tell her that we are not married and that you never stopped loving her. She feels the same about you. You deserve to be together. This situation is hurting both of you.” Imra says.

“I can’t. She knows me better than anyone else. If we get back together, she will find out that I have to die to protect her. She will try to stop me. She will risk everything to save me.” I state.

“She needs you. You need her. Even if you can only be together for a short period of time. Both of you are suffering so much. I sense the endless love each of you have for the other, and it’s overwhelming, Mon-El.” Imra says.

I say nothing, and then Imra sighs. "Mon-El.“ She whispers and I look at her. "If I could have Garth back in my arms for just one minute, I would take it. It would be worth it. I’m sure that it would be the same for you. For both of you.”

“That’s because you are stronger than me, Imra. I am a coward and I have always been. If I get to have Kara in my arms again I may not have the courage to give up my life when the moment comes.” I say.

“You are wrong. You are one of the bravest people that I have ever known, Mon-El. Your love for her is your strength. You need to talk to her.” Imra says.

“I won’t, Imra. I know that you want to help, but this is the right thing to do.” I tell her.

Imra looks at me with a sad smile in her face and says nothing. We have had this conversation so many times. We have discussed this repeatedly as a team and at the end the decision is always the same. This is my call, as the Legion leader and the person who knows Kara. She leaves me alone.

I sigh and I take the necklace out of my shirt. I need to feel it in my hands so it can give me some strength. Kara was right. We were so many years apart and she was always with me. I kept her in my heart and I worked hard to become the man that she believed that I could be. I feel shame because I’m lying to her again. I need to remember that she was the one who taught me that a hero has to do whatever it takes to protect citizens above else. I have to save the world from Reign’s destruction. I promise myself that I will be strong. I can do this, as long as she is safe.

I only wish that I could kiss her just once before my death.

———————————————————————–

Chapter end Notes: I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter and story. Specially @chriswoodfandom