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Chapter twelve, part six

After midnight it was time to say goodbye. She would not only not see Evan for a long time but also Phillip and Alicia and her greatgrandparents. It hurted Deborah to think that they would die without her knowing about it or ever seeing them again. She had loved getting to learn them this past year and wished she knew them longer.

They were as heartbroken by her leaving as she was. They all shed some tears. Deborah was once again touched by how much they all cared about him. She really got to be part of a close family for the last year and she had loved every second of it. They stood by her in her though moments and celebrated her biggest. As she celebrated theirs with them and lived their though moments as they were hers. She was blessed with them in her life. And now she had to say goodbye to all of that. If only she could stay, if only she could come back one day.

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Chapter twelve, part five

That night was the last time she would see Evan for a long time. Deborah wasn't even sure if she would see him ever again. Alicia gave her him to hold for a while. Deborah was thankful to hold him just one more time before leaving.

He was such a precious little feller. Deborah loved him so much there were no words to describe it. His little hairs were already growing and giving the dark glow she had herself. She looked for something in his face that reminded her of his father. It was hard. She cradled him for a while and then got to bring him to his crib.

Laying him in bed made her feel like a big sister and mother at the same time. She had done this so many times for little brothers and sisters. Doing it for a child you birthed yourself was a whole different experience. Altough she wasn't his big sister but not really his mother either made it also painful. If only she could stay to bring him to bed every night. She stroke his little head and said softly I love you and then goodbye.

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Chapter twelve, part four

Just a week after christmas the family came together again. This time for new years eve. They celebrated the night at Phillip and Alicia's place. Deborah was alright with it but it did make her a bit nervous to see Evan in his home with Phillip and Alicia. With her grandmother she once again was buzy in the kitchen the day before to make all kinds off delicious goods for the evening.

She got once again presents from the different familymembers. In just a year time they got her presents three times. This time it was their way of saying goodbye. Deborah was very touched by their abundance. Once again she got a book from her grandparents. Maybe this was how her grandmother ended up with so many books. Deborah thanked them. Now she had two books to bring home and share with her siblings.

The gift from Phillip and Alicia touched her even more. They made a little photoalbum with photo's of Evan from the past three months. That was how old he already was. Deborah couldn't believe how fast he grew. The album even had a photo of her holding Evan with christmas. Going through the photo's of him made her tear up a little bit. It was such a wonderful thing to have and bring home while leaving Evan behind with Phillip and Alicia. She thanked them over and over again for giving her this gift.

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Chapter twelve, part three

The holidays come closer and closer. Together with her grandmother she started to prep everything for the big day. They would not only cook for their own family but also for the church. There would be a big meal at the church for all the people who were alone or didn't have enough money for a christmasmeal. They baked cakes for deserts for both them and the church. Ofcourse the main meal and all the different side dishes. It was nice spending all this time with her grandmother. She wouldn't easily forget them cooking in the kitchen when she went back home to her parents. And upstairs, in her room, was a bag full of stuff for her to take home to bake and cook at home. She looked forward to show all her stuff to her siblings. They would be so eager to bake with her. Deborah didn't doupt about that.

On christmasday was the first time she held Evan again. Her grandmother handed him over to her to get something from the kitchen. Deborah was a bit overwelmed at first but it felt nice having him in her arms again.

She sooted him although he wasn't crying. His head against her sholder was a very nice feeling. It made christmas extra special that year. Not because of the many decorations but because of little Evan in her arms. Back at home they wouldn't have so much to eat or such a nice room to eat in. Her father didn't like that. Christmas had to be about God, not about food. Deborah was impressed by her grandparents for making it all about God but also having such nice decorations and food to eat.

It was hard to give Evan back to Phillip and Alicia and seeing them go to their own home was a bit extra painful that night. But she looked back on a nice moment with her little boy.

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Chapter twelve, part two

After her grandmothers birthday Deborah noticed she felt less bad about spending time with Phillip, Alicia and Evan. They reinstalled the sundays afternoons together as a family. Deborah kept her distance to them but it was alright to be in the same house and the same room again. It was almost like it used to be.

At nights Deborah started to think more and more about the moment she had to return home. It would be hard to say goodbye to everybody, especially Evan. She didn't know when she would see them all again. Deborah also thought about the lie of her parents, about her studing for a year at her grandparents to hid the lie of her being pregnant. She no longer felt bad about it. If that was how her parents choose to handle it she would tell everybody about it. She didn't feel like talking about her baby anyway. That had to hurt even more when she wasn't around her family here.

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Chapter twelve, part one

The first time Deborah saw Evan again was on her grandmothers birthday. For the occasion everybody came to their house to celebrate her grandmother turning fiftyeight. Deborah didn't wanted her grandmother to not invite her own son and daughter in law because of her. Her grandmother was so nice to ask how she felt about it. Ofcourse Deborah gave her alright. During the birthday Deborah kept her distance from Evan. She sat in a corner watching her grandmother dotting on Evan. It was so sweet to see. Deborah knew for sure Evan had wonderful greatgrandparents. Her grandmother seemed in love with him. He was already loved by so many people. That was the thing that was clear when she laid in bed that night. Not only her grandmother was sweet to him but her grandfather also and her greatgrandparents were so proud. They were so careful around him. Seeing Phillip and Alicia hold him hurted her. Especially when they left at the end of the day.

After they were gone Deborah asked her grandmother if she had held her when she was a baby. Her grandmother looked surprised at her and shook her head. For a moment she was silent. Then she told her about the first time she saw her. Deborah was already a toddler when her grandmother visited. She smiled when her grandmother told her about that one time. It made the pain of not being held by her grandmother as baby a bit less. Ofcourse she understood that it was hard for her grandparents to go visit them when they lived so far away. But it must have been nice.

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Chapter eleven, part two

Before Evan arrived they had her greatgrandfathers birthday. He turned eightythree. They celebrated it at their home to relieve her greatgrandmother from the stress of organising the birthday. Deborah liked this birthday better then the last one, when Alicia her family was there. Deborah felt like huge cow in the meantime. Her grandmother told her to take her rest and not help as much as she was used to. That wasn't easy for Deborah. In the past half year she had learned to take it easy but not helping when there was so much to do seemed impossible. That was not how she was raised. Alicia was so nice to help out more. Sometimes Deborah was jealous that Alicia could have her baby. Other times she was convinced that Alicia was the nicest person out there. Deborah sometimes went crazy from her own thoughts.

Deborah still had to think about her family back at home reguarly. Especially when there were birthdays coming up. Her brother Jacob turned ten just a couple days after her greatgrandfathers birthday. She had missed so many birthdays already. Her grandmother and mother phoned sometimes. It wasn't much. Her mother had told her grandmother that Bernice and Christina both got engaged and were planning their weddingday in january, when Deborah was back with her family. She was relieved to hear that she was able to attend her sisters weddings but it felt so weird not being a part of their lives at the moment.

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Chapter nine, part ten

Just a couple days later they celebrated her passing all the tests. Deborah was very surprised when her grandparents suggested such a party. It felt like to much but they insisted they celebrated it with her. Her grandfather said that it was the least she could do for them as they wouldn't be able to eat icecream for her test the whole summer. Deborah laughed very hard and couldn't say no after that.

So the family came to their place once again to celebrate her. Instead of little presents of the different familymembers she got one big present of them all. She was very surprised to recieve yet again a present. The family insisted she opened as they wanted to see her reaction. Deborah opened the box and got tears in her eyes. It contained different cooking and bakingstuff. When she would go back home she would be able to cook and bake just as she did here with her grandmother. She could teach her little brothers and sisters to cook and maybe even her older sisters. The things she would take home with her were already double the amount she took with her to her grandparents.

She gave them all a hug to say thanks for the presents. They enjoyed the cake and the refreshements her grandmother and she had made to survive the heat that was yet again in town. They had a couple days of cool and rain. Now the heat was back.

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Chapter nine, part eight

Before Deborah had her final test they had another party. This time it was for her grandparents. They were married for thirty years. Because of the weather they didn't celebrate it at her grandparents house but at her greatgrandparents house, in the garden. It was a nice gathering. Deborah enjoyed spending time with the family so much. They were all so nice and no one every spoke badly about her pregnancy. Her little boy was growing great in her belly. All the conversations with Phillip and Alicia about the future were going fine also. They did put most of it on hold while she was doing her test so she could focus on that. When she would be done with her test they would make a decision on his name and how she would be called by them. It was weird to think about that. He couldn't call her his mother as Alicia would be. Deborah hadn't figured out what she liked to be named by her son. Sometimes it felt weird that almost everything she wanted and asked for got honored by Phillip and Alicia.

A week later she walked through the halls of the testcenter for hopefully the last time. Deborah was yet again nervous for the test. Yet again she wanted to pass the first time. Her grandmother had all faith in her but Deborah doupted if she was prepared enough. This test was difficult as it was a long test about different subjects, history, science and biology. She had studied hard and long but sometimes it was so complicated.

Hours of hard work later she walked out of the building. She was relieved. Deborah was absolutely not sure she passed this test too but at least she had made all tests now. She knew what to expect the next time she had to make this test.

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Chapter eight, part one

Before Deborah knew it, it was already her seventeenth birthday. The day before her birthday was a sunday an the whole family came with presents. Deborah and her grandmother had baked some more cakes then usual to eat with eachother. Deborah was very surprised by all the attention and gifts she got. Her grandparents already got her new clothes. Not just because the old ones were bad but they just didn't fit her anymore with her growing belly. Her deminskirt pressed to much against her belly. It was special going shopping with her grandmother. Back at home she always went to thriftstores to find new clothes for their family. Now she went to an actualy store with completly new clothes. And her grandmother payed for a few different new outfits. Deborah felt in dept after recieving a notebook and so many new clothes from them. Getting presents felt overdone.

Back at home her parents usually gifted her practical things for her birthday. That was the moment she got new clothes. Her parents also took them on a special birthdayouting with a siblings your choice. That was what birthdays made special at home. Here she had a complet party with different cakes, presents from her greatgrandparents and uncle and aunt. They spoiled her so much.

Her greatgrandparents gave her a new book. She had read already a lot of books of her grandmother. Now she had her very own book to read. She couldn't wait to start reading it. This one wouldn't have to go back into the bookcase of her grandparents. She would take it home to her parents, for her sisters to read it also.

Phillip and Alicia gave her a new game to play on sunday afternoons. Deborah liked it very much. Another thing she could bring back home to share with her siblings. The generosity of her family her was so much. The least she could do was share it with her siblings.

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Chapter seven, part four

Everybody smiled and laughed. Her grandmother spoke again. She kept the baby and raised it as good as she could while building a life for them both. Deborah asked who the little girl was. Once again they all laughed. Her grandmother said it was her own mother. Deborah looked with even bigger eyes now. Her own mother was the little girl that her grandmother got pregnant with at sixteen. Suddenly she understood why her mother had send her to her grandmother. It all made sense now. Her grandmother was the expert at teenagepregnancys. That's why her mother immediatly had tought about Deborahs grandmother. She smiled understanding everything now.

Her grandfather started talking again. He explained that he met her grandmother and mother when her mother was about nine years old. After talking with her grandmother for a while they got married. After a while Phillip was born. Deborah understood now too why there was such a big age difference between him and her mother. They didn't have the same father. Deborah looked at her uncle and smiled. Then she looked at her grandfather again. He wasn't really her grandfather but that didn't matter. He was like a grandfather for her. He was so much better at it then her other grandfather back at home.

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Chapter seven, part three

One sundayafternoon as they were all at Deborahs grandparents home after church it got to much for Deborah. When her greatgrandmother asked if she was sure about giving the baby away Deborah suddenly burst into tears. She asked why everybody always wanted to know if she was sure. For a minute it was quiet then her grandfather explained that giving a baby away was very hard. That you should do that only if you are completly sure. Deborah once again tried to convice them she was sure about giving it away.

After a moment of silence her grandmother said she couldn't do it. Deborah looked at her with a big frown on her forhead. She asked why her grandmother wanted to give a baby away. Her grandfather asked her if she knew what happend. Deborah hesitated, what had happend? Everybody laughed for a moment when Phillip commented she probably didn't know. Deborah had to laugh too.

Her grandmother started to speak again. Years ago she got pregnant with a little girl. She was only sixteen years old at the time and didn't feel ready to become a mother. Just like her parents tought she would. Deborah looked at her greatgrandparents. Her greatgrandmother smiled at her. Her grandmother continued that she and her parents thought it was better to give it to grown ups who could take better care of it. Deborah notted as she completly understood as the sixteen year old she was herself. But in the end her grandmother kept the baby as she couldn't give her sweet little girl away. Deborah looked at her grandmother with big eyes 'what happend next?' she asked.

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Chapter six, part three

Then the party of her greatgrandmother came. Her greatgrandmother turned eigthy years old and the whole family came for the occasion. They celebrated with multiple pies made by Deborah and her grandmother. First they just celebrated with the family but later on friends made their appearence too. Deborah enjoyed meeting all those people in her greatgrandmothers life. They were all very nice people. They told even more stories about her mother. It was so weird hearing them. The woman she remembered with a baby on her hip every single day was suddenly differently. She saw her mother now as the little girl in the stories of these people or as the teenager Deborah was herself. Most of the people there were convinced Deborah looked just like her. Deborah smiled and was pleased to hear that. Her haircollar was like her fathers but her curls came from her mother. That was clear.

Ofcourse her parents or siblings didn't attend the party. Deborah didn't expected them to do so but she did thought it was sad that her mother didn't give any attention to her own grandmother. She was always taught to look after the elderly in their church but her own mother didn't look after her own family. Her greatgrandmother seemed not to mind her only granddaughter missing the party. Maybe she was already used to it. Her greatgrandmother seemed to enjoy the party very much. She walked around with a big smile all day long and was enthousiastic about every present she got and every person arriving to celebrate with her. Deborah hoped to be like her when she was blessed to grow this old.

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Chapter five, part five

With a grandmother she also went to her greatgrandparents. They lived in a big house in the city. It was an old storage facility which they renovated and made their home. They brought groceries for them, cleaned and drank tea with them.

Her grandgrandmother was very happy to see her greatgrandchild. She had seventeen but had never seen one of them. Her greatgrandmother also knew she was expecting a baby, which would make her great-greatgrandchild. When the baby would be born there were five generations living at once. Hopefully her grandmother or grandfather wouldn't pass away before that day.

Chatting with her greatgrandparents was always fun. They were very interested in her. They asked her lots of questions. But they both had also a lot of stories to tell. About both her grandmother as her own mother. Deborah had to smile every time her greatgrandmother started to talk about the time that her grandmother was a child.

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Chapter four, part nine

That day Deborah discovered the excistence of even more familymembers she had never heard about before. Her mother had a little brother! He was named Phillip junior, after his father, Deborahs grandfather. Phillip junior was married with Alicia but they didn't have any children. They both came with them after church. With all of them they ate the cake. It was like it really was a birthday.

Phillip Junior and Alicia weren't that old. There was quite an age difference between her mother and her uncle. They were closer in age to Deborah then to her mother. She liked talking to Alicia. She was really nice. Just like the others. They all asked her questions and wanted to know so much about her family at home. Her pregnancy wasn't mentioned by anyone. It made her a little nervous. While they were all so nice to her now, would they be if they new about her pregnancy? She had to enjoy their nice behavoir towards her while it lasted.

Her greatgrandmother was convinced Deborah looked just like her grandmother. Deborah had a hard time seeing it. Especially because she always believed she looked like her dad. Her haircolor was just like her fathers. But maybe her face was just like her mother and grandmother. Deborah herself did see similarities between her grandparents and their son. Phillip had her grandmothers haircolor and curls. But his face was just like her grandfather.

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