#came home yesterday; had a two hour nap; did some laundry ate some food had a bath; went to bed at 8.30 and woke up again at 7.45

[sinni-ok-sessi]

man I love dancing and seeing my friends, but the part where I need to sleep for thirteen hours afterwards to feel human could use some work

[pbandjesse]

Today was a nice day. After how productive I was yesterday I do feel slightly guilty for not being productive today. But it's fine. I had a nice day still.

I woke up this morning when James's alarm went off at 5 and they struggled to turn it off for a while and I was a little upset. But it was fine. I fell back asleep.

I woke up at 9 and didn't feel great. In those few hours I had some horrible dreams. Specifically that my entire face had psoriasis and I was like. Dehydrating and it was scary. But I got up and got ready for the day.

James made the bed. And we hung out for a little. They drank their coffee. I chilled on the couch. My hair felt very floofy and I was just slightly uncomfortable in my tights. They have a hole that needs to be mended. I will probably do that tomorrow. But today it just was slightly irritating.

I wanted to go to IKEA today. Not for anything really. Just to walk around and look at the spaces. And so we made a plan. IKEA, grocery store, laundry, and we would watch the last of us when we got home.

And that made today really nice.

We left here and drove out to White Marsh. And it was fun to go to IKEA. Got to see a little bit of the new collection everyone in TikTok loves. It's nice but way more expensive then I expected.

We pointed at the things we liked. James liked a few of of the dark kitchens with lots of shelves. I enjoyed thinking about the different wardrobes I would love to have and tables. It was just really nice walking around.

We didn't leave with nothing. We got some of the frozen veggie dogs and the toppings!! And we got a c to c type charger. Which ended up not working for what I wanted but it's all good.

After we paid (at self checkouts??) we went to the little fast food area (also self checkout!!!) to get snacks.

But the screen wouldn't let us chose veggie hotdogs. James asked and they said it would be 10 minutes. So we chose to wait. And it was worth it. We totally came at the most busy time. But we got a frozen yogurt and a cinnamon bun while we waited.

And the hotdogs were great. I felt really happy.

James was being a goof. And we were laughing because I couldn't see walking to the car because everything was glaring. But it was fine. Just very silly.

There was a giant grocery store (the brand not the size), and so we stopped there to get everything we needed. And we did pretty good with sales and deals. I got a few silly little things. Like the new strawberry Dr pepper. And mangos. But we did good and soon (after a long stop at the customer service desk to get quarters) we headed home.

When we got back here we brought everything in and James put stuff away. I was tired. I wanted to nap. But it never happened. I would just sort of feel exhausted and miserable for the next few hours. Despite trying to calm my brain down enough to nap, I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about stuff.

I would actually get some lesson plan stuff done for the summer. I want to have some semblance of a plan to show Alexi on Wednesday. I plan on working on that tomorrow but at least I have all my reference images ready to go.

James warned me up pizza from yesterday. I never actually ate any of it last night. Instead I had a PB and j. And we chilled in bed together. My head started feeling really horrible. I couldn't shake it for hours. It is finally feeling a little better but I thought I was going to throw up it hurt so bad. Thankfully never did but man that was not fun.

I would play fetch with Sweetp for a little. I went and took a bath but the water was to cool. Even when James added two kettles of water. But it helped make me feel a little better but not much.

Once I was in jammies we set up in James's room and watched the last two released episodes of last of us. I wound two balls of yarn. And cuddled with sweetp. And had some birthday cake with some aspirin on the side.

And the episodes were great. Heartbreaking but really good. We also went back and watched all the behind the scenes clips which were so good!! I love behind the scenes things.

Now we are in bed. And I am slowly feeling better. I am going to go brush my teeth and try to get to sleep before midnight.

James has a conference tomorrow. I am jealous. I hope it's so much fun. And I hope to have a productive day. I have mending to do. And I want to make sure all my stuff is ready for my workshop this weekend. And do my lesson planning. If I could finish that I would be so excited. But we'll see what happens.

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well. Be safe!

[lifeiszestyy]

*10/3/2018

*ooohh big oof... i woke up early at some point from a very vivid dream that i made a post about... and then did i stay up? did i go back to sleep? i don’t remember.

*after my dad left in the morning, i got up to get food bc i was hungry. i watch an episode of an anime while i ate and then looked to see what time mother was leaving for work which was around 11:30ish so i had like 4 hours. i played some mobile games... i was gonna continue watching the anime but i got really deep into playing feh for some reason

*i was gonna just listen to music and fall asleep but sometimes listening to music gets me too pumped up so i got up around 11 to put away my laundry. uNfortunately, the phone did the Alert Thing and i had a mild panic attack that sapped the strength from my legs. i was able to finish loading my laundry and then like launch myself into bed and i was fuckin pissed

*i meandered a bit for... like two hours trying to decide if i should take a nap. i ended up going upstairs to play the sims

*i had a talk with my dad when he came home. i understand that my mother is stressed because my grandpa’s healthy is Incredibly Bad but she takes out her stress by lashing out at everyone around her, which is just me and my dad since idk if she does this to other people outside family. like, i don’t want to be anywhere near her if i can tell she’s gonna start telling me exactly how i should live my life and all the reasons why i’m not valid. and my dad told me that i’m doing the right thing since he understands my mental health is fragile and that mother makes it worse bc she doesn’t care to understand. he said he got frustrated yesterday because she kept ranting to him about how i should already have a job and i should already have my room cleaned and my dad was like “you can’t talk to her like she can do things normally” which of course pissed mother off. ANYWAY!!! i’m very grateful to my dad bc i know that a lot of people don’t have even one parent on their side

*so after talking with dad, i texted mother since i know part of why she’s mad is bc i don’t text her back sometimes bc even that is difficult for me sometimes, but she responded back positively so uhh hmm it’s hard for me to take her seriously when she says things like “i’ll always support her” because she’s already broken my trust Too Many Times and i’m fuckin tired

*i tried to stay up but my dudes, i got a stomachache around 6:30 and i was not having it. my dad cooked good food too 😢 but i had to be like... i’m gonna lay down bc my stomach is being an assssshole. and then i fell asleep

*i woke up a little bit ago around 11pm and i’m Pissed bc i just want to be able to sleep through the night. i had to pee Real Bad. i’m debating on whether i should eat some food...

*when i was typing earlier, i had a thought about liking characters who have issues with their moms (zelos) like eyyyyy don’t call me out like this

*11:21pm

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[happy2bmyownboss]

Hey everybody… it feels like its been FOREVER since I’ve posted. I have really missed you all… that might sound funny but I love seeing the notifications from readers and reading the comments that others leave… it makes me feel like maybe, just maybe I am helping someone in some way.

I think my last post was on January 30th! I had written a little bit about this pregnancy and some of the surprises, stresses, and worries it has brought with it. We are so blessed to have this little one in our lives and we just can’t wait to meet her!

I also told about some of the unexpected events that had transpired with our new house which we still haven’t officially moved into completely yet although I might spend more time there than I do here right now.

Someone did end up coming out to fix the electrical and plumbing issues but yesterday when I went to use the dishwasher it wouldn’t work… HMMMM???!!! The girls were not thrilled when I told them this news today… lol. I told them we now have a very expensive new dish drying rack!

January was full of ups and downs with the house, an ultrasound, and some other family activities that I wrote about HERE. I stayed pretty busy and tried to get things a little bit more organized… you can read about that in this post… the time spent on getting organized has paid off in some ways as I couldn’t have seen the newest issues that were yet to come.

Our homeschool adventures have been on hold for a couple of weeks as we’ve been focusing on getting the house ready to move in and I’ve been dealing with some new pregnancy-related? health issues.

So where to begin? That’s a good question because SO MUCH has happened. February was such a blur that I can’t even believe it has come and gone already!

Well, let’s start with baby news. We had a doctor’s appointment on Valentine’s which was a bit crazy. Not long after checking in there was a FIRE DRILL! Well, it wasn’t a drill as the alarm had been triggered and the entire four-story medical plaza had to be evacuated!

Guess what floor we were on? Yep, the fourth! I’ve been dealing with a lot of heart palpitations and shortness of breath so walking down four flights of stairs was no fun… then we had to walk back up them when the firefighters cleared the building. I seriously thought I was gonna pass out.

I was still quite winded when the doctor came into the room (we had a new doctor as the previous one NEVER responded to my requests to have my medication refilled!) He was quite nice and we both liked him. We discussed the possibility/probability of C-section… I’ve never had one so it is a little scary to think about. He also had some blood work ordered for my thyroid and a glucose screening done.

The doctor also put in a referral for me to see a cardiologist and one for the baby to have a fetal echocardiogram done as there were concerns from the previous ultrasound.

The following morning, my 43rd birthday!, the doctor called to tell me to quit taking my thyroid medicine because it was too much. He also called in a new prescription for me to start taking later that week. This may or may not have been part of the reason for the heart flutters and shortness of breath which I still have. He also informed me that I had failed the glucose screening so lucky me gets to do the 3-hour screening at my next appointment… YAY!

The glucose screening was done a bit early this time as my last pregnancies have been large babies and the doctor just wants to keep a close eye on this baby and her weight gain… he wants to keep a close eye on the possibility of gestational diabetes as this can cause babies to be quite large as well.

Just a few of my birthday spoils… even little Ms. Priss got a few things that have me so excited to start shopping. Mr. Awesome also bought me several cute maternity shirts as my clothes have been getting a little bit snug. We have also been gifted a beautiful cradle and antique wooden high chair… I will try to walk over and get a picture of them a bit later today.

Since that appointment, I am still having tons of shortness of breath as well as frequent bouts of nausea. I have spent quite a bit of time resting in the recliner or laying on my left side. It is frustrating to not be able to get up and go like I want to do but I know that this phase will not last forever and it is so important to take of myself as I do have this special little blessing growing inside of me and I have to make sure to keep her as safe as I can.

Not being able to do anything without becoming winded has affected my square dancing. I still try my best to attend the dances and on a good night I might dance half a tip but I can’t do much more than that right now. We also did not get to attend the State Convention this year although I had greatly enjoyed it last year. The kiddos did go stay with their big sister and big brother for the weekend so we had a little break nonetheless.

I did have to run a few errands yesterday and at one of those, I was asked if I was trying to keep up with the Duggars and the Bates! Well… if I could get a TV show and make a ton of money… maybe… All jokes aside this will most likely be my last baby… I refuse to say NEVER because I have been proven wrong many times. You just never know what plans God has in store for you and I am constantly AMAZED at the blessings he has bestowed on us and the paths he has led us down so I choose to trust him even when things seem IMPOSSIBLE.

When I have good days I try to do a little bit of batch cooking/freezer cooking and this has saved dinner quite a few times lately. Mr. Awesome has been pretty good about helping out around the house and in the kitchen… even it is just bringing home some pizza or fast food for them to eat… you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. I try to do my Walmart Grocery Pickup every so often to keep some healthy foods and necessities on hand. Yesterday I did go into the store and I was so exhausted by the time I finished all I wanted was a nap when I got home. You can find lots of Freezer Meal information HERE.

**This post does contain affiliate links to products and/or services that we use. If you happen to click through a link and make a purchase we may earn a teensy-weensy small commission (at NO EXTRA cost to you) if a purchase is made through these links. These links help to support our family, our blog, and our homeschooling mission. This means that we can keep bringing you great recipes, ideas, and tips for FREE! Click HERE for a full disclaimer.

  In other news, the house was coming along quickly until I broke the bathtub. It was completely accidental but a blessing in disguise. When Mr. Awesome went to rip out the old tub he fell through the bathroom floor! Yeah… the whole floor was rotted so it was just a matter of time before it became a HUGE issue.

      The bathroom has been gutted and the floors have been repaired so now we just have to put the bathroom back together before we can get completely moved in.

    The kitchen is 95% completed and it looks so much better than it did before. We are happy with the way it turned out and I have been trying to get it all organized… a little bit at a time. I’ll try to get a post together about the products we used for our kitchen.

We’ve been carrying things over a little at a time as you can see in the pictures above. This makes it easy to get things put away but it is such a slow process. I will be so glad when Mr. Awesome has a couple of free days so he can bring the trailer over and we can load it up with some of the bigger items.

This morning we carried a couple of loads of kitchen things over and we made and ate breakfast at the house… the kids were so excited! I had high hopes of getting quite a bit accomplished today but that idea quickly disappeared when one of the kiddos had a tantrum and meltdown.

As many of you know I have two special needs children who are greatly affected by the moon phases. We have a time change coming along with a full moon that is VERY CLOSE so things have been a bit trying this week and I don’t foresee that next week will be much better.

We ended up putting away the things we had brought over, cleaning up the breakfast mess, and then headed back over to the little house. I thought it might give me a chance to catch you guys up and I also started a pot of tea and put some chicken in the crockpot for dinner. I’ll probably add some sweet and sour sauce to it later and serve it with some rice and steamed broccoli.

We had expected to have our new washer and dryer delivered today but things don’t always go as expected. I got the scheduling call yesterday but they informed me that they had ‘lost’ our dryer! I’m not sure how that happened but they couldn’t locate another one so they have reordered it and we should have them Saturday morning.

I love hanging our clothes out but I will definitely appreciate these new appliances as I will be able to use my little spurts of energy in other areas right now. Mr. Awesome has a clothesline on his ‘Honey Do’ list but that is not at the top of the list right now and I haven’t even really decided where I want to put it.

You might be wondering about what type of washer and dryer we decided on so I’ll tell you a little about them… really I was just not into shopping that day so I let Mr. Awesome lead the decision. He found this Whirpool Load and Go washer that will let me load up to 20 loads of detergent into it and then, we believe, program a wash cycle so that the kids can just push a button to wash their laundry.

I prefer the front loaders right now as they allow the kids to be a little bit more independent in helping with the laundry. This pair was on sale when we bought them so we saved quite a bit of money. We did go ahead and purchase the extended warranty because this was quite an investment to make and we just wanted to make sure that we were covered in the event of an unexpected repair.

I’m sure that I will post some more about the features of this pair as I get to use them and learn more about them. We also like that they have the option to stack them which is something we may consider later on.

Another thing that happened last month was that Mr. William had the opportunity to attend one of the Night To Shine Special Needs Proms hosted by Tim Tebow. He had a blast and is looking forward to going again next year. This is a wonderful event and I encourage everyone to support it if you can.

Well, that about wraps up the past month or so… I hope you have all had a great month and I pray that this coming month is even better for you. I will try my best not to wait so long between posts and I will get to work on the kitchen update post soon.

As always we want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and we ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers… talk to you soon!

  Life Update: We’re Still Here! Hey everybody... it feels like its been FOREVER since I've posted. I have really missed you all...

[lalka-laski]

Where is your favorite place to get fries? Hm... curly fries are my fave, so anywhere that has those!

What is the most recent article of clothing you’ve purchased?

Leggings and a purse from Plato’s Closet 

Have you ever paid for anything with a cheque (check)?

Honestly I don’t think so. Who uses those anymore? 

Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents?

A few people 

Have you ever made your own pie from scratch?

Nope and I wouldn’t dare try either 

Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Glenn 

Are there any waterfalls nearby?

There are a few small ones in the area and Niagara Falls is less than an hour away. And I mean... that’s the waterfall of all waterfalls. 

What was the last food item you ate?

My homemade mac & cheese last night. It came out splendid! 

What are your earliest memories of going to see a doctor?

I remember basic pediatrician appointments from an early age but I’m not exactly sure how young

Can you hear traffic right now?

Nope

Have you ever pulled a muscle?

I think so? 

What did you do last weekend?

Had my usual date day on Saturday with my honey, then went to a Mardi Gras party at night. Then spent Sunday nursing a hangover while watching trash tv... it was glorious! 

What is your favorite gaming console?

No preference 

Have you kissed someone today?

I kissed Glenn’s forehead while he was sleeping to say goodbye this morning, but he didn’t kiss me back

What is your favorite condiment?

MAYO ON EVERYTHING

Do you have a strong opinion for or against Justin Bieber?

No opinion 

Have you used a telephone today?

I’ve been texting on my personal phone and I’ve used my office phone twice. 

Do you prefer coffee or tea?

I alternate between the two.

Have you taken a painkiller today?

No but I feel a potential headache brewing so I may pop over to the nurse’s station for some Advil 

How many theaters does the closest cinema from your house have?

Not a single clue 

Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house?

I wouldn’t say a “stock” but there’s usually a bottle of some kind. 

Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it?

They’re ok. I don’t drink them mostly just because of the stigma. I look like a basic white girl enough as it is, I don’t need an accessory. 

Have you had a nap today?

I’ve only been awake a few hours. I’m crossing my fingers I get out of work today in time for a nap before my boyfriend gets home but I’m not sure that’ll be possible

Is there an antique store in your town or city?

Quite a few. I should visit them more!

Have you ever been to a baby shower?

Of course 

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, do you think it will last?

Yes and well, we have plans to get married so it’s a safe bet

Do you have a hyphenate name or know anyone with one? (eg. Carter-Brown)

I know a few people who do, but it’s rare. 

What would you wear if you were being taken out to dinner tonight?

Well I am technically being taken out to dinner tonight. Though we’re just going to grab subs (and our favorite giant pickles!) I’ll either be wearing my work clothes if I don’t stop home first, or something super casual and bordering on pajamas. 

What were the last shoes you wore?

I’m wearing my work flats right now. They’re pointed toe so they have an 80s vibe. Which is, of course, why I love them. 

Who cooks most of the meals in your household?

Exclusively me. But I’m happy to do so! 

Do you know anyone who has been to rehab?

Yep 

Have you ever had a mojito? Honestly I’m not sure. If I have it was only a sip or two. But now I’m inspired to maybe try one this weekend...  Do you take your Christmas decorations down before or after New Years?

Typically after, I like to keep them up as long as possible. Though my mom always warned us that if the tree wasn’t taken down by January 6 then hobgoblins would crawl out of it. My family is very normal. 

How many romantic relationships have you been in so far?

Ehh... that’s a little murky. But it doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that I’ve found my one and I’ll be with him forever.

Have you ever been camping in the wilderness?

Yes and it’s not really my cup of tea. A cabin or cottage is fine but I have to draw the line at sleeping in a tent. 

Do you have any money on you right now?

Nope

Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater?

Not in the slightest. And picky eaters actually bother me, I find them childish!  (Though I have nothing to back this assumption)

Have you made a large purchase today?

Nope

What was the last candy you ate?

Gummy hearts for Valentine’s Day 

How often do you eat Subway?

Absolutely never. If I wanted to eat a sandwich on a damn hot dog bun, I’d make it at home. 

Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard?

My childhood home!

What color is your toothbrush?

Pink, as are most objects in my life.

Do you have gluten intolerance or anyone who does?

I’m sick of hearing about supposed gluten intolerance. It’s so phony. 

Have you ever cried while watching a movie?

You must not know me because I cry at EVERY. MOVIE. 

First thing that catches your eye when you look out the nearest window?

I have no windows in the dungeon I’m currently trapped in 

Have you ever had a migraine?

Thankfully no 

Do you have a gym membership?

I do but I’ve been meaning to cancel it. 

Have you locked your front door today?

Mhm 

Have you ever slept in a car overnight?

Nope 

Have you washed the dishes today?

Ugh, thanks for reminding me that I have to do that when I get home

Have you ever fainted?

Nope 

Have you been awake before sunrise today?

Yeah I’ve been up since 5:07 exactly. 

When was the last time you went to the bank?

I took cash out a couple weeks ago to tip my nail tech. 

Do you avoid conflict as much as possible?

Absolutely. Which usually ends up creating more conflict for me in the end. You think I’d learn but I haven’t yet... 

Have you ever used a leaf blower?

Nope

You see someone running around naked in the street. Your reaction?

“That looks like fun” 

Have you hugged anybody today?

Actually yes. It’s my coworker and dear friend’s last day at work today and I hugged her as soon as I walked in the office this morning. LOTS of tears happening today. 

Who called you last?

Tommy 

Have you ever been to Mexico?

Nope

Has someone close to you died of murder?

Thankfully no

Do you cry easily?

You don’t even know

Do you have any drugs in your bedroom?

Nah 

Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted?

My sister? I’m throwing up

Do you abbreviate when you text?

More often than I realize actually 

Did you ever have sex with your ex after you broke up?

Yes 

Have you ever given up something you really wanted?

Yes, haven’t we all? 

When’s the last time you did laundry?

Just yesterday. I have more to do today though.

Do you recycle?

I really ought to more. I admit I’m lazy about it. It’s one of my worst habits. 

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

I’m pretty certain no one even reads these so I’m not worried. 

Do you pray to God often?

That’s a tough question 

Have you ever done volunteering work abroad?

Nope

Can you stand spicy foods?

I’m working on it! My palate is evolving

Is anyone in the room on the phone right now?

It’s just me here right now 

How good are you in terms of ‘saving up’ money?

I used to be great at it and I moved into my current apartment with almost $6k in savings. I honestly have no idea where it went now. I guess I severely miscalculated my budget 

Do you have a shower stall or a bath tub?

Bath tub 

Have you been to the beach this year?

It’s January in upstate New York so.... no. 

When did you graduate high school?

2010

Can you read HTML code?

I may have some leftover knowledge from my Myspace days... but not much

Does a blizzard from Dairy Queen sound good right now?

Actually no

Do you drink diet pop?

I switched to it for weight loss purposes. And I want to bash my head against a wall whenever some pseudo-scientific twit warns against the dangers of artificial sweeteners and claims regular soda is “healthier” than diet. No food product is categorically healthy or unhealthy. Food is a personal experience colored by a variety of factors. Diet soda is the ~healthier option for me because drinking it has allowed me to drop 20 pounds of excess weight that was straining my body. No one can tell me that’s unhealthy. 

Do you like the taste of cough syrup?

Who does????? 

How many people did you hang out with today?

None, unless you count everyone at work right now. But we’re not exactly chilling 

How much money did you spend today, and on what?

None so far.

When’s the last time you were high/drunk?

I was a little tipsy last night, I won’t lie

What are you doing tomorrow?

Girls night!! 

Who is the person you often go to for venting?

All of my friends, my sisters or Glenn 

Why do you do these surveys?

There’s not much else to do when work is slow so these are a good way to pass the time. Plus I like the self reflection they allow me. 

Have you spoken to your mother today?

Nope, but she might text me later 

Do you have current feelings for anybody? The love of my life!!!

[lotsofdogs]

A Peek into Tuesday (Food + Fitness)

Hello, hello! How are you guys doing today? All is well over here. I wanted to pop in this morning with a little recap of our Tuesday. It wasn’t anything crazy or super special but since I managed to actually bust out my camera and snap some pictures yesterday, I figured a good ol’ day-in-the-life post would fit the bill for today. They’re still my favorite kinds of posts to read on other blogs so hopefully you guys enjoy them, too!

Heeere we go!

Morning

Sleep has been a little hit or miss around here lately thanks, in part, to what I can only assume is the beginning of the four-month sleep regression. Thankfully Ryder seems to fall back asleep fairly easily after nursing in the night, but there have been a handful of nights where I feel wide awake after a 2 or 3 a.m. nursing session. It’s no where near as bad as the insomnia I had when I was pregnant (that was brutal!) but it’s rough enough to cause me to skip my 5 a.m. alarm some mornings. That was the case yesterday and I ended up sleeping in until 6:30 a.m. when I got up and quickly got myself dressed for the gym before the boys were up for the day.

Ryder was up about 15 minutes later, so I nursed him and then brought him downstairs with me where I took a little time to make my coffee a little special.

I made myself a pumpkin spice latte and followed Brittany’s recipe because it’s the best one I’ve found for a creamy latte made with good-for-you ingredients. (There’s a reason her latte made my list of the 10 Best Blogger Recipes I Make Again and Again.)

When I heard Chase start to make noise, I figured I should quickly down my breakfast before getting him up for the day so I threw together a big green smoothie topped with pumpkin seeds, bee pollen and cacao nibs.

It always feels like the moment Chase wakes up our day kicks into high gear and yesterday was no different! We read some library books together while Chase ate a whole wheat pumpkin muffin and some strawberries for breakfast. Ryder seems to be falling into the pattern of needing a quick cat nap in the morning before preschool drop off so I did my best to get Ryder soothed and napping in his Rock ‘n’ Play and then Chase, Sadie and I spent some time in our backyard, filling the bird feeder and searching for butterflies and bees. (Ryder’s Rock ‘n’ Play was positioned so I could easily see him through the back door window.)

We had 10 minutes to go before it was time to leave for preschool when all of the sudden Ryder woke up and needed to nurse, Chase had to use the potty (a long experience some mornings…) and then Ryder had a massive poop that came out the back of his diaper. I was convinced we were crusin’ through the morning seamlessly but we ended up dashing out the door. Yeesh!

Chase was excited for school as usual and ran right up to his teacher to show her his mosquito bite (important stuff, ya know) and barely managed to remember to wave goodbye to me. I truly hope his enthusiasm for school and his intense curiosity lasts forever and ever.

After drop off, Ryder and I made our way to boot camp where he hung out in child care while I completed an athletic conditioning workout.

We spent three minutes at each station, switching back and forth between 10 reps of two different exercises. It was a sweaty one!

After my workout, I joined my friends Carrie and Jess and their little ones for a short walk at a local park. I knew Ryder would likely take a pretty solid nap during our walk since he was awake most of the time at boot camp and he snoozed away while I chatted with my friends.

Right after our walk, I quickly ate one of the new maple almond nut butter packets RXBar sent my way before driving home.

RXBar’s nut butters are some of my favorite on-the-go snack options and I love the way they offer a little boost of protein and healthy fats that help take the edge off my hunger. The new maple almond butter flavor was delish!

Back at home, I nursed Ryder again and then let him play and kick on a blanket while we did some tummy time and he chirped and cooed away.

He’s become so vocal in the past few weeks and hearing him chatter away and make the loudest high-pitched dinosaur noises makes me smile so much.

Afternoon

Before I knew it, it was once again time to head back out and pick Chase up from school, so I loaded Ryder into his car seat and we were off! Without fail, every time I pick Chase up from school he immediately runs to smother Ryder in kisses and I have to coerce him back to the car with the promise that he can play with his little brother when we get home. I have to give Ryder a ton of credit for being such a laid back baby because he tolerates Chase’s rather intense attention with smiles and looks of curiosity and adoration.

For those with two kids, have you noticed your older child picking up on the nicknames you have for your youngest? It cracks me up when Chase calls Ryder “Sweetie” or “Cutie Boy.” I wonder where he got those names from?

Before nap time we did our usual picnic + stories in Chase’s room and then I settled Chase in his bed with a few books. Most of the time he’ll fall asleep “reading” but I’m totally fine with him reading and playing with his toys in his crib as long as he gets at least an hour or so of quiet time. He truly needs it to decompress and relax after a busy morning!

While Chase slept, I tried to get Ryder down at the same time. It didn’t work so well, so my work time at the computer yesterday was rather limited but I did my best to respond to time-sensitive emails with Ryder in my Baby K’Tan.

I also quickly ate a jar of chocolate chia pudding that I made the day before and followed it up with more than a couple spoonfuls of coconut butter. (Coconut butter is my latest addiction.)

Once Ryder was over the baby carrier but still not ready to nap, we did a little house tour and I placed him in random baby gear holding spots around the house while I attempted to do random things on my household to-do list like laundry, packing prep for our trip to Florida, etc.

Before I had Chase, I still remember one of my friends telling me to register for products/baby gear that would allow me to put my baby down and now, two kids in, I totally see what she meant! I am always looking for “docking stations” for Ryder and since he’s currently at the age where he’s content in one spot for about 10 minutes before he needs a change of scenery, some days it feels like I’m taking him from the DockATot to the bouncer seat to the Boppy Lounger to the Rock ‘n’ Play and back again. At least we’re putting all of our baby gear to good use, right!? (Side note: For anyone currently creating a baby registry, this flashback post about Our Baby Registry was created with help and advice from a ton of mom friends and blog readers and I can now say with confidence it was a pretty comprehensive list and we used everything on it!)

Evening

By the time Chase was up, Ryder was ready for a good nap (go figure) but Ryder’s sleep gave me some quality one-on-one time with Chase in the late afternoon which I loved! Chase also helped me a bit with dinner prep which looked like a cilantro shrimp and avocado salad served with baked sweet potatoes.

We dug into dinner soon after Ryan arrived home from work and rounded out the night with the whole bath and bed time routine.

Well, I actually rounded out my night with vanilla ice cream and pumpkin seeds.

It’s a random combination but one of my recent favorites. I love the contrast of the cold, creamy vanilla ice cream with the crunchy pumpkin seeds, especially when the ice cream gets nice and soft. So good!

Thanks for stopping by the blog today, friends! I hope you all have a great Wednesday!

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/a-peek-into-tuesday-food-fitness/

[hoorayfornicepeople-blog]

February 26, 2018

Where to begin? Probably with a deep breath. Two months from today, I will be on a plane back to the States, which means I have reached the half way point. Time certainly doesn’t slow down. Today I went to the immigration office in Kampala to swap my tourist visa out for a student visa, symbolic of some sort of greater permanence, of this becoming a kind of home and less of a quick stop along the way.

This week is probably also the busiest week of the semester so far (or so it feels). Last week was spring break, which I spent on my rural homestay, with a family in Soroti, in the Serere district of Northern Uganda. We left last Friday on the 16th and returned just last night (Sunday). The week left me with an awful lot to process through, which made jumping into this busy week quite challenging. Today, I struggled to balance the need to prioritize processing, with some of the pressing academic tasks that needed to be done. This has been a consistent thread this semester, but it felt particularly heightened today. I spent the week totally unplugged from technology and the rest of the world and reentry last night brought me 169 new emails and zero desire to read any of them. The emotional energy required to talk with people and explain my week to them proved difficult to find. Many of you have already responded to my inability to explain with understanding and grace.

Tonight, in an attempt to sort through the emails remaining unread from last night, I read the notes from the first La Vida training, which happened last week while I was away. (Update in case I haven’t told you— headed to the Adirondack’s to Sherpa in August!!) Per usual with God’s timing, the “devo thought” from the training was so poignant and relevant to my inner dialogue that I could have cried. It was taken from Elton Trueblood:

“The man who supposes that he has no time to pray or to reflect, because of social tasks which are urgent and numerous, will soon find that he has become fundamentally unproductive, because he will have separated his life from his roots….A man has made a step toward a genuine maturity when he realizes that, though he ought to perform kind and just acts, the greatest gift he can give others consist in being a radiant and encouraging person. What we are is more significant in the long run, than what we do. It is impossible for a man to give what he does not have.”

Yesterday, Will had reminded me to give myself permission to prioritize my mental, emotional, spiritual health/need for processing and reflection, even if that meant temporarily setting aside an assignment or other academic task. You know me enough to know that this advice is a tough pill for me to swallow, even though I know it’s true. Today, it was abundantly clear to me that lack of processing, even briefly, was leaving me “fundamentally unproductive,” no matter how much I tried to discipline myself. And so here I am, engaging in one of the most cathartic exercises I’ve ever known, writing. As usual, I am grateful for your willingness to sit patiently and listen while I attempt to sort through the richness of this experience and put it into words.

Spring Break 2k18… last year during spring break there was a giant blizzard. This year, in Sortoti, the average weekly temperature was somewhere around 100 degrees (not even hyperbolizing here). I went into the week expecting I would sleep in a hut, slaughter a chicken, carry water on my head, and milk a cow. I did none of the above. There’s a lesson on perception and expectations in there. When I was dropped off on Saturday, my host mama matter-of-factly informed me— “This week, it will be too hot for activities, but we will prepare food, eat, and sit.” That turned out to be an incredibly accurate synopsis of the week. In addition to the heat, we are currently on the tail end of dry season, which contributed to the lack of activity, since my host parents primarily farm. The third and final factor that shaped the level of activity of the week was that both of my host parents are in their 70s,  incredibly strong and fit, but still doing less physically demanding work at this stage of life.

However, here are some things that I did get to do:

Bucket bathed… a lot

Drank 4,000 Nalgenes a day (don’t worry Mom, I stayed hydrated)

Rested

Star gazed

Ate food

Went to church

Visited the village center

Learned to remove the internal organs of a chicken prior to cooking it

Washed dishes

Did laundry

Drank tea

Swept and mopped the house

Learned to cook a lot of things in the outdoor kitchen— posho, lots of different kinds of potatoes, soup, greens, millet/potato/sorghum bread…

Constructed an underground oven and cooked sweet potatoes in it

Rested

Read 600+ pages (spread between three books)

Sat in silence

Listened to the radio

Beat, winnowed, and separated millet

Rested

Ate more food

Visited the neighbors

Sewed pillowcases

Shelled G-nuts

Picked, cut, and ate jackfruit

Spent too much time in the pit latrine after eating jackfruit

Watched thunderstorms from the porch (It rained four nights in a row. Before leaving for the week, Eddie told us the mzungus always bring the rain to Soroti. I thought it was a crazy superstition, but it turned out to be absolutely right.)

Drank more tea

Rested

Picked and ate fresh oranges

My mama’s favorite phrase was “you go rest now,” since my room was like an oven during the day, this usually meant finding the shadiest spot and reading my book or journaling, rather than taking a nap. In combination with the amount of time I already spent sitting in silence with my host parents, or by myself in between other activities, this was wild. Before leaving, I asked people to pray for my ability to be present. God responded by providing opportunities to be present in excess. Retrospectively, the time that I had this week to reflect, contemplate, learn, and rest was truly valuable, but my impatience made it difficult to recognize in the moment. I experienced a week of simplicity, with little urgency. A culture not enslaved to clock time or schedules, but guided by the needs of the present moment, subsistence, and the daily rhythm of the earth. It was simultaneously one of the most challenging, defining, and enriching (still convincing myself of the last part) parts of the week.

The week included some of my most challenging experiences in communicating cross-culturally– navigating difficult conversations, pushing myself not to be dismissive of a differences of opinion rooted in cultural conditioning, doing my best to practice humility and openness, and learning that I have an accent that is at times hard to understand. This is something I still need to unpack, but you can ask me about it if you’re curious.

Much of what I learned this week came through lots of observation and listening. I learned a lot about the historical and current politics of Northern Uganda and it’s rocky relationship with President Museveni, who punishes the region by withholding government resources or using discriminatory policies, because of the imbalance of power based in tribal/ethnic divisions. I learned about theology, community, he education system, marriage, death, parenting, family, environment, land and agriculture, politics, and history all as they’re shaped by the culture and context of Northern Uganda. Detailing each of these would  take an incredible number of words.

I also learned about some of the most prominent poverty related issues Ugandans are experiencing, particularly related to education and medical care. Serere is and has been one of the most impoverished areas of Uganda. However, hear me on this. When you close your eyes and picture poverty in Africa, that image in your mind is not a universal representation. I learned that about myself and my own preconceptions this week for sure. I wrestled (and still am, present tense) with the task of attempting to define and understand poverty and all that is wrapped up in that. In the West, one might look at my host parents and consider them poor. But they do not struggle to put food on the table, they sustain themselves through the land they own and the food they grow. They understand conservation, care for what they own, and work very hard. If measured, their land and animals could translate to monetary value that would increase their material wealth significantly. At the same time, in the village this week, I observed acute poverty that has been unmatched by anything in the previous two months. All the while, I was reading “The White Man’s Burden,” a convicting critique by a former World Bank economist of Western involvement in the developing world, particularly through aid, military and political interference, and all forms of residual neocolonialism. I don’t think I will ever stop grappling with the irreparable damage we have done in our pursuits of materialism and power, and our misuse of resources and privilege. This paragraph is insufficient to express my questions and tangled thought processes about this particular topic, but for now, it’s what I’m capable of writing.

By the end of the week, I had more questions than answers. Honestly, what else is new. On Friday morning, we were picked up and drove to Kapchowra, about an hour away, where we spent the weekend. On Friday night, we spent time in intentional debrief, which was helpful, but in many ways only began to scratch the surface of our 25 different experiences. Saturday, we had a day of emotional (but definitely not physical) rest. After a lovely breakfast, we hiked Mount Elgon, an extinct volcano and home to the famous Sipi Falls, one of Uganda’s bigger tourist spots. The ten mile hike was exhausting, but refreshing and breathtaking. I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

We had a quick thirty minute respite after the hike before we began a “coffee tour.” Kapchowra is the OG home of the Arabica coffee bean, discovered long ago by a lucky farmer who just wanted to find out why his goats were getting hyper after eating the leaves of some tree with redish colored berries. On the tour, we got to learn about and help with the process of making coffee, from picking beans  to pouring a steaming cup and everything in between. Definitely a highlight for me, even if it was a horribly touristy activity. Shown in the photo below is me shelling coffee beans. Not pictured was the slap happy, caffeine induced state my roommates witnessed me in after the effects of having more coffee than I’ve had in two months kicked in. Let’s say I was laughing at everything and didn’t get the most sleep I’ve ever gotten, but it was quite worth it.

On Sunday morning, we hiked to the top of the little hill above the guest house for a small worship service before our departure. I was asked to give a brief testimony about what God has been teaching me in this first half of the semester (in 5-10 minutes??). I spoke about patience. presence, and newness, the ways that He has been revealing my restlessness to me, but it felt next to impossible to come up with some concise summary of the work He has done in me in the past two months (and is surely continuing to do). Thanks for sticking with me and reading this long post to the end. If it feels open ended, that’s because my thoughts are open ended in so many ways right now. I don’t want to settle for a pretty packaged or over-simplified version of the week. In some areas, I settled for brevity in this post, because I don’t want to risk sounding like I have the answers.  I know the week was hard; I know the week was valuable. I know it left me with even more to ponder than I already had, which I didn’t know was possible. As I talk with you individually in the coming weeks, don’t be afraid to ask me questions, because they will help me in my pondering, but know that I am unresolved and still figuring out how to understand.

A brief post-script. Some people (not necessarily any of you) have made comments to my USP friends and I that come with a perceived bravery or accomplishment in what we did last week. “You lived in a rural village in Africa?! That must have been so hard, you are so brave!” or something of the sort. All I will say is that I am not brave. My attitude at points during the week was not even in the ballpark of praiseworthy. This whole thing is as far from being about me as possible. I felt like an outsider this week, even though I was being welcomed into a community. Don’t hear me being dismissive of your encouragement. But I challenge all of you to not let your perceptions of African poverty to shape your visions of my experience. I think these kinds of comments, while well intentioned, are rooted in subconscious (read: often distorted) pictures of the reality of a place like this. I hope that as I communicate to you, the things I say will never glorify or manipulate the things I am experiencing as a result of my own pride and desire for affirmation. Please call me out if you ever see or hear this in my words. Thanks again for being in my corner.

All my love,

Abs

Spring Break February 26, 2018 Where to begin? Probably with a deep breath. Two months from today, I will be on a plane back to the States, which means I have reached the half way point.

[opepin]

october: week three

16: i woke up pretty refreshed and glad because i was having another one of my action-packed, nightmarish dreams. lol. i got up at around 8:15 am and then headed over to the fitness center to do some leg workouts. i squatted and deadlifted 45 lbs (i went up by 5) for 4 sets of 12! i almost died near the end but it was great. then i did 12.5 lbs for my bulgarian split lunges, jump lunges, rdls, and weighted lunges. i went down to 10 lbs for my fire hydrants and leg lifts and hip thrust. i was sweating so much. i got back, stretched and cooled off, showered, made myself my breakfast smoothie, and then got to work. kevin took a sick day and he also had to drive his dad to the airport so i think it was a good idea. i worked on a video tutorial one pager in the morning and then went into a customer call. for the rest of the day, i worked on practicing for tomorrow’s training session and prepping the materials. i was on stand up when poppa chen had to leave and fly back home. i said bye to him and kevin drove him to the airport. lol kevin got stuck in traffic for like 40 minutes and i would have gone with him but my stand up lasted wayy longer than expected. after stand up, i talked with phil about tomorrow and then made the last changes to the training itinerary.

kevin gamed when he got back so i went to finish up leg day. i did a ton of squats and deadlifts. my quads were literally shaking. then i did a weight-less hip workout to see if i could fill in my hip dips (over time ofc). kevin cooked while i showered. then we ate while watching yakitate! japan. then we played trine 2 before kevin needed to shower. after his shower, we played some more and then he gamed with the guys after. i watched youtube videos and then just ended up sleeping at like 12:30 am... maybe later? idk, i think i was on my phone ahah. wfh makes me want to sleep and wake up later.

17: andddd i was sore waking up! lol, i woke up at 8:30 anyway because kevin kept waking me up last night from his tossing and turning. i had another bad dream lol. i broke up with kevin in my dream LOOOL and he was really sad. i told kevin that these past two days i’ve been having bad dreams and i think it is because he keeps disturbing my sleep -__-’ anyway, i did 30 minutes of hip hop cardio and then showered and washed my hair. i am going to wash my hair more often now. it’s growing outward and kinda longer and i sweat a ton during my workouts so i feel like it gets oily real quick now. i’m going to grow out my hair and then splurge sometime in the future on a great haircut. i hate my hair right now tbh. after my shower, i made myself my bfast smoothie and i looked up some weight lifting information. i’ve gained about 3-5 lbs and my body fat is a tiny bit higher than it was before (it’s my first time weighing myself since i started lifting free weights). i was wondering if my weight gain is normal or what. i conclude that i need to stop eating as much as i have (especially fats) lol. i think i’ve treated myself a good amount this past month and half :) i’m going to focus on trying to eat more protein (how do people eat so much?!) and definitely lower fatty foods and i guess the same amt of carbs. i’ve been hitting my carb goal. so i’m doing a bit of a mini cut? but not really lol. my clothes are a bit tighter but it’s all in my legs so idk if it’s muscle or just more fat. my love handles have kinda grown a bit too.

anyway, i drank my smoothie and then went into a training session from 11 am to 1 pm and then a quick debrief and talk with phil afterward for 30 minutes before a 30 minute or so stand up. i ate lunch and then i took a break and played trine 2 with kevin. phil never pinged me back and i couldn’t record my video tutorials because it was pretty noisy at home. the day was over before i knew it and then i did some internet errands. kevin and i took an hour nap after i finished up with work. he said he was feeling tired and i felt a bit jdsfndjkf from working too. after our nap, kevin cooked dinner while we watched some yakitate! japan together. we ate and watched another episode and then kevin went to game while i read. i started reading ‘sleeping beauties’ and i also finished the experience mapping book, finally! i finished reading right around 11 pm and then stretched. kevin actually hopped into bed at 11:30 pm and then i finished stretching, brushed, and went to bed before 12 am. zzzz.

18: kevin woke me up at 7:20 am lol but then i went back to sleep until 8 am and then went for my kickboxing session shortly after. i showered and then made kevin congee with my mom’s leftover soup in the rice cooker. then i made myself my breakfast protein smoothie and went straight into recording videos. i managed to record two before i stopped to take a break, watch the newest episode of shokugeki and then ate lunch with kevin while watching yakitate! japan. :) i had to hop on a call with phil after and kevin went to play hots. he took advil and felt a lot better after he took it haha. i did some more work and then hopped on a very long stand up -__-” i finished up some video work and then played trine 2 with kevin. when it got to around 5:45 pm, kevin went back to gaming on his computer so i could pop some chicken thighs in the oven and hit the gym for my second session of the day. i’ve gained some fat in my waist area and i want to tighten it a bit so i went back to some of my weighted oblique workouts. my obliques were on fire. i used a 8 lb weight for 30 minutes of moves like the wood chopper, standing oblique crunches, etc.

i came back, took out the chicken, made myself a second protein smoothie without peanut butter and cocoa but with cinnamon (it was aiight), and then took a quick shower before microwaving / steaming frozen veggies and plating dinner for kevin and me. :) we had a very healthy dinner LOL. we ate and watched yakitate! japan and then kevin went to sleep at like 8 pm. i cuddled in bed with him until 9 pm and then went off to wash dishes and clean the oven. lol the last time i made apple pie, i didn’t put a tray underneath it so some of the juices spilled to the bottom of the oven :( it created a sugar film on the bottom of the oven so i used a dull pizza cutter and paper towels to scrap it off. after the kitchen was cleaned, i watched the newest episode of jane the virgin and some of youtube videos. i got real sleepy near 12 am. kevin went to shower and then i slept at like 12:20 am with kevin. zzz. it was a quiet night with myself, which i didn’t mind. i was going to read but i wanted to watch something instead ahah.

19: i was pretty awake when i got up at 8 am. phil sent me over things that i needed to get to work on before exercising in the morning. so i did that, changed, and then did arms in the morning. my shoulders were actually sore from yesterday’s weighted ab/oblique workout so my workout was pretty hard to get through. then i came back, shipped off an aerie sports bra for a return, and showered. i made my smoothie after and then hung out with kevin for a bit before hopping on my computer and editing my video tutorials. that went straight into another 2 hour training session. phil kindly took the lead on this one because i’m kinda losing my voice and i’m just tired from all these back to back sessions with such a large group. after that session, we went straight on to stand up, which lasted longer than usual again. then phil asked me to stay on with dave and by that time, i was hangry. kevin had heated up our food already but i was stuck on a call that wasn’t even scheduled... and i hadn’t eaten since 9 am. -__-” i had to ask to leave because they got to a topic that i wasn’t involved in. so then i happily got off and ate lunch with kevin. kevin steamed some soup dumplings for us because i mentioned that i wanted some in the morning <3

the rest of the day went by pretty quickly with no meetings. i worked on my video tutorials and got them all recorded and edited. they are ready for uploading and updating! then i think i took a break and kevin took a nap. i just remember doing back exercises in the apartment (no jumping but just mat stuff) while the lights were dim and i don’t think kevin was gaming. after my workout, i showered and heated up our leftovers for dinner. kevin mentioned that he felt better. :) we watched some yakitate! japan and maybe gamed a bit? this evening is fuzzy. i know i went to sleep while kevin stayed up a bit to game.

20: wooo, today was the first day out of my six days of unused pto that i used lol. does that even make sense? well, i took a day off from work today. i woke up at like 8:30 am (still around the same time i get up) and then took my time heading over to the yoga studio. i did my hiit workout for the day and then went back showered, and made my protein shake. then i spent the day running errands. i made a dentist appointment for when i come back to chicago during thanksgiving, cleaned the dish washer, and tidied up some things. kevin and i headed to chinatown to submit his paper work for a visa to go to china and then we also ordered from gourmet dumpling house and got beef scallion pancake rolls, soup dumplings, and pork and leek dumplings. we experienced some traffic on the way back but had our food so we weren’t that bothered haha. we stopped by oh my tea and got ourselves some hot tea boba dranks. we watched some yakitate! japan while we ate and then kevin went back to work.

i hopped into bed to watch some videos and then talked to my mom for a while on the phone. then kevin got off work and we ordered dinner. i could have made noodles but i wasn’t feeling like cooking today. we ordered from hakata ramen. i got unagi don and kevin got ramen. while we waited for the food to come, we played trine 2. then we got our food and finished the level before watching some yakitate! japan. i think we spent the rest of the night just binging the anime LOL. kevin didn’t want to end on such big cliffhangers lmao. we watched until late at night and then i went to do my stretches before going to sleep. zzzz. what a good day! i’m going to love the next pto days that i scheduled for myself. :)

21: kevin and i woke up pretty early! kevin made us bacon breakfast sandwiches and we watched yakitate! japan. then we meal planned and went grocery shopping pretty early at 12 pm :O we never go that early! we spent more time shopping though because we were trying to find things we usually don’t get. because we were at kam man early, we got to buy a ton of bakery buns that are usually sold out by the time we get there at like 3-4 pm lol. we also got a lunch box to go for our makeshift lunch. we also got bomb af smaples from bj’s lol. we had a waffle with bananas and whipped cream, i got to eat a protein bar, and some chicken noodle soup! after our grocery trip, we got back, put away the food, and i got to snack on the hot cheetos i got. omg i forgot how delicious they are. T__T <3 i did my workout of the day, which was a full body strength workout. then i got back and showered. i started laundry and then made myself some edamame! well, i just steamed them with the microwave. i nommed on that with some of the bakery bread. mmm.

kevin gamed until we needed to get ready to leave for the zelda concert! i changed and got ready. then we ate leftovers of the lunch box from lunch and took the train to the wang theater. there were so many people out and about. there were also a ton of people going the same way as us. we got off downtown crossing and walked to the theater. then we used the washroom and headed up. i got irritated at kevin because when we got out together, he’s a bit of an airhead and just goes off by himself without waiting for me @_@; he’s really air-headed for some reason... we got to our seats and i think a guy accidentally spilled some of his alcohol on me because we needed to pass him in order to get in our seats and my pants were a bit wet when i sat down... there was no liquid on the seat sigh. it was a rocky start.

the concert overall was ok. i think final fantasy: distant worlds did a better job of playing music from all of their games. this concert was super focused on the more recent releases, which i have not played and it was meh. i mean, live concert music is wonderful but the connection to the songs were entirely there. kevin enjoyed the live music as well and was in the same boat as me except that i think he enjoyed it more lol. i was jkdfnsjkdf by the crowd leaving. omg, so many people and construction going on -__-” i felt less grumpy after we separated from the crowd and went back home. i was still a bit grumpy though because when we got back, my stomach was cramping like crazy but i had to fold laundry before going to sleep. so i did that and i told kevin i was stressed about cleaning (more specifically, cleaning tomorrow). he didn’t do much in terms of helping so i went to sleep pretty bothered. we did talk about it for a bit after he showered. sigh.

22: i woke up kinda still akjfnsdjkf about last night and all of the stuff i had to do today so i just went to the yoga studio and did a hiit workout. i talked to hillary on the phone afterward while i ate breakfast and started cleaning the apartment. i told hillary about my stress when it comes to cleaning every week and it actually made me feel better to talk about it to someone other than kevin lol. then i continued cleaning and kevin joined in by vacuuming. after i finished cleaning the bathtub, i put our sheets in the wash and then i took a nice break. i watched some videos, made myself some roasted chickpeas, and then laid on the sofa. before doing abs, i ate the roasted chickpeas and they’re pretty good! i felt bad using oil so next time i’m going to roast them without oil and for a bit longer to see how it is. they got soft after resting for a bit. poop. i did abs and then kevin started cooking. we talked about my cleaning stress lol and i think he gets it more now. then i showered and drank my second protein shake of the day. i pulled up crunchyroll and started watching a ton of anime .__. LMAO. i started watching too many to name... i really like ‘blend-s’ though and i left off watching ‘no game no life’, which was recommended by victoria a lonng time ago ahha.

we ate dinner while watching yakitate! japan. i forgot to mention that i came out of the shower only to find kevin eating a ton of hot cheetos. lol i don’t think we’ll buy any more after this time... it’s too addictive. anyway, we watched two episodes and then kevin went to shower. i continued watching anime until bed time. we made the bed together and then i hit the hay right before 12 am but then daniel messaged me and i ended up sleeping at like 12:20 am lol. cleaning today wasn’t too bad because i was talking to hillary on the phone while doing it and after i got off the phone, i put on some youtube videos while i was cleaning the bathroom. so i’m going to try to be more productive by saving up youtube videos so i can watch them while i clean. this will also help me with not laying around and watching a ton of videos when i have free time lol.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

5/12/17, 11:11pm - gettin cucked up

me and a particular group of my melee friends have been using the word cuck a lot still and I never really thought about where it came from. Like 4chan probably repopularized the use of the word because I saw that cuckold porn became a really big trend on there, but the way we use it isn’t like cuckoldry exactly, it’s more like getting fucked over, or stood up, or most specifically teased with a promise of a good time and then having someone back out at the last minute.

More on that later I guess. This week’s been so hectic. Wtf it’s only been like 5 days it feels like it’s been weeks already. I’ve restrategized my Get Your Shit Together (4.0) list, and the big three things are 1. pass the RPSGT, 2. get moved out of my apartment, 3. get some surgeries. 

Tony actually wrote my letter for real, so I put in my application to take the test this week! My cpr aed certification is outdated so I got an online one and I’m not allowed, so I have to do a course this weekend and fix that, but otherwise I’m all set. Gotta study hard, I’m pretty fucking pumped to get a raise. Glad I’m not dying for the money rn though, the $500 to take the test and get a new cpr cert would have me stresssssed the fuck out, dude.  No progress on getting someone to take my room just yet, my room’s a fucking mess, I need to do laundry, I’m kinda putting all this shit off for now tbh. We’ll wait until I’ve taken the exam I’ve got vacation this week anyway. And I talked to my dad, who gave me his blessing so to speak to get a vasectomy. I fudged a number that I told him, said that it’s 90% reversible (most numbers say 95% or greater w/in 3 years, about 50% at 10), but with the potential for in vitro fertilization even if the reversal fails I’m sure that’s about right. He told me that my mom had told him that she wasn’t trying to get pregnant for a year or so and then ‘was practically pregnant the next day.’ coupled with how mom was talking about being pregnant at their wedding I can see that lol. He basically told me that he loves all of us a lot, but yeah I would’ve definitely done that because it’s worth it to not have that kind of surprise when you can’t make money for a kid. I definitely can’t make money for a kid right now lol that would kill me. So I’ve already called the doc to get a referral and I’m gonna get a vasectomy. Gotta figure out how much my septum surgery will be too, but that’ll be a lot more -_- Me and dad were catching up for a bit and I helped him get in touch with Dr. Bruce to fix a hernia so he’s gonna be giving me some more money so that’ll help with that too though. Plus I’ll FINALLY be making sleep tech money. I’m so fucking pumped.

Plus basically the past 3 days I’ve Actually just been working. 3 patients a night for the first time this week was stressful as fuck. I mean not exactly. Just time consuming and pretty frustrating. As jimmy said “if you were still trying to get through Zelda you probably would be dying right now.” Made it through fine and that should sweeten up my paycheck just a smidgen.

Still haven’t eaten french fries, but definitely gave up on cigs. Practically like two days later. I was out drinking for Josh’s birthday and smoked a bunch. That shit was so fucking cash omg. I got blackout drunk for the first time in forevvver. Was hanging out with Jimmy, Josh, Ian, Jack, ran around with one of josh’s friends trying to pick up chicks at a bar after smashing beers into our head and shotgunning them. I have a video lol I’ll try to upload it once I have internet. Was trying to ‘flirt with all the ASA bitties’ but got too drunk and ended up boxing someone in Josh’s friend’s basement (w/ boxing gloves) lmfao. Reminded me of middle school boxing Cory Winters and having our little fight club ring lol. Drunk snapped a bunch of people, ian drove me home, it was a great fucking night. Oh and at Josh’s friend’s I ran into one of my asian friends who I could not remember for the life of me. I wasn’t sure if he was a league friend or one of brosciouss friends or a smash friend I was just so lost, but played it off really well (as always) and did jager shots with him. Fuck. Ing. Lit. First time I felt so happy and natural to be drinking in forever, too. Even got to see brett3 for a bit. Nice to be back in chapel hill. Especially when they’re good old drinking buddies like Jack. It’s so strange that I don’t really talk to anybody else from chapel hill, but then again it really isn’t. 

The date with Brianna went pretty meh. We met up and joked around a bunch and thrift shopped and I bought a whole fuckton of new pants to ease the process of spring cleaning and two new sweatshirts so I’m not wearing fuzzy shit all the time now that it’s getting warmer. Ate at Ms. Winner’s and it was some delicious ass cheap fried chicken, might be my new go to in gboro now. But she like barely wanted to kiss me at the end of the date idk what’s up with her, I’ve kinda bailed out since she’s all preoccupied with her family anyway.

Instead ive gone back to what I call my “harem strats” You see, by chatting up as many girls as possible (right now juggling 4-5) I divert my attention and stay aloof enough that I don’t seem like a crazy fuck. Instead I’m just an asshole who’s two timing girls, but yknow fuck you stop judging me.  This girl hit me up on snapchat saying I looked cute in my story and that we should smoke sometime. With the snapchat name Smokeahontas I could’ve sworn it was Kat, so I just go along with the convo. But then I see kat has a diff username and I was like wtfff who is this lol. I didn’t ask her though, just played along and eventually remembered when she asked for my insta that it was this girl I matched with on tinder months ago that I never followed up with (like most of them), probably because I got lazy lol.  Had a sort of date with Jamie, we got some food because she was getting off work, we smoked a bit, but she was like texting the whole time and fuckin bailed out after just an episode of south park to ‘go to the beach with her roommate.’ I still have been talking to her a bunch, but Idk what the fuck is up with that, kinda whack. Super cucked by how that went. Especially because when I walked her out to her car I didn’t even get a kiss goodnight it was this weird lasting embrace like she pressed her cheek into mine to make sure I didn’t try to kiss her I guess, but still held me tight for a really long time, I was like rubbing her lower back hoping she’d like loosen up and kiss me but hooooly shit it all felt super fucking awkward. I’m hoping she’s just really conservative about dudes since she’s such a cutie, but idk. it makes me actually not give a fuck about her. I have a date tomorrow night with the other textiles girl idr if I wrote about her, but she’s cute, going to ncsu. “allergic to smoke” lol I told her I quit. (I mean I had that day before but I lied and said I did two weeks ago hahah goddamn I’m kind of a twat maybe.) Also actually got cucked by smokeahontas. It was like a situation that was too good to be true though, to be fair. She didn’t have anything to do yesterday night and wanted to hang out; when I told her I was stuck at work and said she should just smoke with me in the morning she said she actually wanted to and would stay up all night to meet up with me when I got off. Ofc she fell asleep, and when she woke up she said she wanted to go back to bed, so I flippantly said “well you could always sleep over here.” and surprisingly enough she said she was actually game for that, so our smoke and horror movie date turned into a naptime date. But an hour passed while I was eating breakfast and in the shower so I was like ‘wtf is up’ and she said she got sick and threw up. Figured I was super cucked once more by another flaker, kind of a bummed out, but not as bummed as after the dates with Jaime and Bri both went so poorly lol. Just happily told her we can try again another time, and now she’s saying she wants to do the same plan for tomorrow morning. 

So There. Is. The potential for me to get laid twice tomorrow. Pretty exciting. I haven’t told anyone that I remade plans with her though. RIGHT after I told some friends about how the nap date got planned out she said she was sick. I FUCKING swear that every time I brag about one of my dates I have lined up it falls the fuck through the floor. So I’m gonna try to never do it again. 

Then there’s this other theatre major girl I started talking to yesterday. Talked about horoscopes and transitioned from talking feminism to her (woke as fuck teens smh) into asking if she ate ass (jokingly) into asking if she wanted to hang. Turns out she’s actually a really cool super geeky chick and I’m really excited to spend time with her since she wants to show me jurassic park for the first time and learn how to play melee. Kinda weird that she’s only 18 still though O.o oh you, tyler. 

SO yeah. That’s the sitch with that. Went from supppper fucking bummed a couple days ago about my dating situation into thinking that I’m the shit again. I think I want to establish that “i’m the best” mentality once again. Because I really am. I’m fucking amazing lmao. 

Ultimately though, I’m still getting cucked left and right and I have little to no faith that I’ll find anybody I actually care about ever again but we’ll see yknow. I think that’s the strats to how I fell in love last time anyway.

hmmm. what else is there... Work in burlington is still super shitty, my commute went from an hour to like an hour and forty minutes today bc people in NC can’t drive through a little bit of fucking drizzling. 

Idk that’s about all I’ve got. Next week’s lake week so gonna have to work again in a few days after some date shenanigans and hopefully I’ve got some more good stories and shit. 

[cwebberphotography]

Two New YouTube videos: https://youtu.be/ipOWwYufwa4

Holi is the festival of colours. It’s also the day I chose to take a break from Pokhara. After breakfast I got a ride on Nirmal’s motor bike to the bus stop. I didn’t get a seat for about 20 minutes so I bumped around in the isle. Then I walked four hours up to Panchase. Got lost, stopped a lot.  I asked directions a couple times and when I got to Green Village I was pulled in for a tea and dal baht. Arjun said if I stay a week it would be 700 NPR/night for a room and three meals a day plus all the tea I can drink.  Now I have lots of time to meditate explore, photograph, sit with the cats and watch them make food in the Gurung kitchen.

There are no decorations in this place. Mud walls and floors a fire on the ground some pots and pans and stools five inches off the ground. Somehow everything is possible in the kitchen. They have a big pot that acts as the sink/compost which they feed to the buffalo once a day. And running water outside that comes out glacier cold. After lunch I walked the trail to one of many Shiva Temples. Lots of good view points and half way up stopped in a secluded spot to meditate on a rock. Found a tree and put my hand on it to see if it would speak to me. It just said he was old as time immemorial. When I came back at sunset it was raining and hailing so I went by the fire and the cool cat warmed my lap while they made dinner. Eventually my legs fell asleep and thankfully the cat moved off. Then slowly the life blood came flowing back again. They hired a carpenter from the next village to stay there and make 20 bee hives and furniture. He was treated like a second class citizen the entire time, he ate last, only millet and dal, usually outside or on the floor away from everyone else and had his own plates and cup…I thought he was a slow neighbour at first as he chatted on about god-knows.  While eating he was striking all sorts of poses he was also drinking lots of local wine.

Soon I’m off to bed. Shuba raatri. What stars aren’t clouded over are completely over taken by the brightness of the full moon. Made even more powerful by the lack of power on top of the mountain.

A letter to the man who just arrived: This place will eat you alive. If you let it. You may leave a different person. You may not like the long cold nights and the silence of the days may cause a blissful malaise. Bamboo forests and fires in the distance. Dusk in the meadow. Hermits who don’t wave back, abandoned foundations and empty river crossings. Cow bells hidden by mountain passes. Himalayas tower over me tall with white clouds blown over, smeared across time from day break to now, they stand watch in the North over tiny galaxies in the leaves.

The higher I get the better I feel. Nepal is the top of the world. This place just got a road in 2012 and electricity is also new. I can take an evening stroll and see nothing but the view. The stars shine bright and the food is fresh within a few feet. There are no preservatives no refrigerator and the air and water are clean. The only voices I hear are miles away.

The sun emits radio waves through the vacuum of space. Exactly two months into this trip. Two months ago I left home now I’m in a cave in Nepal in a mountain in the forest with my feet up. I see maybe three or four people everyday. Wake with the sun. Ma lights two incense and makes tea and I stretch and gaze at the Himalayas. Wash my face and eat breakfast then walk into the mountains to find Shiva temples and small caves. Pink and red rhododendron trees line the path. Sit in the sun. nap on a stoop, my jacket packs into little pillow. Smell of wet green forest and only the sound of birds and falling leaves occasional bees and far away single engine airplanes. I’ve had too much dal baht. Probably eaten my weight in rice. Singing Om with John Lennon listening to Let It Be the sun dries my tears as I descend the mountain. Several Beatles references this week have brought back the thought that as time goes on coincidences and synchronisities will grow as well. The song Across the Universe has new meaning for me now as Lennon sings the mantra Jay Guru Deva and then says Om.

Fog straddled the mountain and caressed it from all angles. As I pass flowers after flowers and my path is lined with red pedals the smell of a woman enters my nostrils and I know it’s no woman but the fragrance of God and it’s he who makes all the beautiful women smell as good as they do. Without flowers there would be no perfume.

Green Village guest house is at least 25 years old. Arjun’s grandma’s older brother lived in town and lost everything in a card game so he came here where there were only a few buffalo farmers. He built the original place and lived here 50 years before he was robbed and returned to town. Slowly his family moved up the mountain and started the first tea house and added to it as others came to make a full-fledged ‘hotel’. I had a lot of questions for Arjun, he said they go to town once a month for supplies sometimes less sometimes more. Sometimes they’re without power for months at a time and before the road his aunt would walk both ways.

Today I was caught in the rain. Turned hail storm. I sat under a tree to stay as dry as possible then continued to shoot. Someone who knows Nama the Mother is here now. He’s my age and working in England and is home visiting for a funeral. He says he’s Buddhist and could not do vipassana because he’s not strong enough.

Bishal left this morning after another good talk.  Also my phone is dead and there is no sign of power coming back on. We had breakfast around 6:30 and lunch after 10 a.m. Between we chatted about London, meditation, smoking, family, LSD, books, music and getting together in Pokhara. His family caste is from Himalayas, the Gurung warrior caste, and have been with the British Army for 200 years. He told me two stories of vipassana he’s heard. One was his friend ran away early on the third day and another friend did it and told his long time girlfriend after that he had been cheating and also has a wife. Today I saw Ma with a pile of buffalo shit in her hand walking down the path.

Woke at six and had a millet pancake which includes five teaspoons of sugar, water, eggs and honey on top. The moon is still high in the sky as the sun rises. Mountains are invisible and the sky is blue. The dew and condensation drops from the roof and ceiling as the local news plays on the radio and the dude hammers away at bee hives. I went to a part of the mountain with no birds or bees or breeze and felt complete silence. It’s fleeting and actually deafening. After it disappeared I was happy to hear again. Ok with the radio, the birds and bees the chatter in any language was welcome. Here I’m able to meditate all day and stretch and read and be 100% in nature all the time. Best of all I have no worries. No worries of the future or present. All my food and shelter are taken care of, my toilet, clothes, TV time at night when there is power. Even without power or electricity I’m fine and happy.

Occasional sense desires come but that’s why I’m here. To get away from cake and chips and jungle talkies and tourists because soon enough my life will be turned upside down in Japan and Kathmandu. Monday of this week like the last 10 at least have come and gone without a whimper. Just a smile if I realize which day it is. It truly is your job you hate not a certain day of the week.

After an hour sit in my room I walked the path to Arthur and found a spot to sit in the sun. Stopping every 10 feet to smell a new smell or listen or stare far away and regain my long distance sight which dissolves in the confines of a city. Seeing people on these trails is as rare as seeing a moose in Canada. I heard people have around 60,000 thoughts (conscious and subconscious) a day and 95% of them are the same as yesterday. We are all writing our stories day by day. I would like for mine to have no repeats.

It’s Thursday, yesterday I had a hot water bucket bath and today I did my laundry which may never dry. As I walked the ridge I could hear two women in the bush and figured they were pruning trees for buffalo like the woman I came across on the way up, way up in a tree. After sitting I heard them closer, then saw four human size bunches of leaves go down the path laughing and chatting along. These people are masters of camouflage.

After an afternoon nap, out my window a man and Ma were carrying wood on their foreheads and dumping it. She’s old and he’s older and I found myself watching thinking maybe they’d let me stack the wood. I asked Arjun and he said go ahead and grab a basket. If she can do it so can I. Now she’s stacking and he’s carrying so I grab a basket and start. After 1.5 hours working bare foot the pile disappeared. It’s hard work, and if you stop paying attention to what you’re doing for one second you can really hurt yourself. That night I had two roxies (local wine) and watched the Waterboy until her Hindi soaps came on.

Pani is water. Jaro is cold. Basa means sit. Chiya is tea. Chiini is sugar.

Second last day a man from Vancouver came and we talked most of the time. He’s 44 has a house and family. Works for the city as an engineer and micro-doses LSD and mushrooms for ideas and to stay fresh. He said he couldn’t live without meditating before bed. I said I also enjoy it. On the walk down Ram Dass said meditation is a method and a trap. You need to become trapped in it for it to work but ultimately it is a method and should be dropped. The goal is not to be a meditator but to be free.

The days are long and life is short. I take it one hour at a time. I love laughing with Nama and Arjun. I could live in this area but it’s changing fast. The road is starting to be used more and people searching for solitude are all coming here. Today a picnic bus came with people crammed in and over flowing onto the roof.

After a long walk I went to warm up and watch the festivities. As soon as I sat down two guys grabbed me and forced me to dance a fast song. I danced with an old man who looks like Gandhi with foggy glasses and missing teeth. My reward was some of the best food I’ve had to date.

Thankful to be traveling alone and for strangers who dance.

      Seven days in Bhangjyang Two New YouTube videos: Holi is the festival of colours. It's also the day I chose to take a break from Pokhara.

[opepin]

march: week 3

13: i was tired in the morning and it was cold T^T my coconut milk was also expired lulz. vivian left her water bottle and gbf and her were gone when i woke up. i almost forgot they slept over because they were such bums yesterday LOL. <3 i took a nap on the train and got to work a bit late, but apparently, everyone was a bit late this morning. i just started pumping out templates and then went into meetings -- i got so hungry during my meetings. i ran to use the bathroom and then microwaved my food and ate during one of my meetings haha. after all of my meetings, i packed up and left to work from home. i was crashing so badly. i timed the train this time and only waited a few minutes. when i got back home, i edited some videos, and then called it a day. i took a nap on the air mattress and realized that it was cold to sleep on because there wasn’t a comforter or anything warm on the bottom.

kevin came back from climbing, showered, and then i woke up. omg, i slept for like 2 hours. i must have been real tired. kevin cooked today (thank you <3) while i relaxed and dozed off. then i put away the air mattress, cleaned up the living room a bit, and then helped do dishes. i also made chicken nuggets and they were delicious. oh, i snacked a ton when i got home and both me and kevin were both feeling like eating junk food. xP we didn’t know what to watch but kevin gave me the option to choose a new series. we started watching, ‘how to get away with murder’ and now we’re hooked! we watched two episodes, kevin went to game, and then i did 60 minutes of hip hop cardio. then i showered, we brushed our teeth together, and then we went to sleep. well, kevin stayed up to watch some dota and play some pokemon. it was around 2 am.

14: it was a nice wfh day. it didn’t look like it was snowing a lot but then it started and i was glad i was home with kevin :3 we got free bagels and hot chocolate from deco and got started on work for the rest of the day. we fit in an episode of ‘how to get away with murder’ during lunch and then i went back to work. kevin had a pretty lax day. kevin had the chance to braise our beef for a delicious dinner~ we watched a good amount of episodes and then i did laundry and we ate dinner while watching more. we stopped for a bit so that i could make oatmeal raisin cookies and then we continued while eating the cookies. after our mini-marathon, kevin washed the dishes and i helped clean up. then he went to game while i did some kickboxing. i showered and then brushed my teeth, finished watching a youtube video and then ko’d before 2 am, which is good considering my sleep schedule this week LOL.

15: i woke up and had a bit of a headache, the roads were icy, and so i worked from home again. these cookies are so good but so bad for me. i need to stop snacking! i will bring some of these to work so it’ll be ok by tomorrow ;D it’s been hard being productive this week because of the weather and just working from home. i had a good number of calls and then worked on tutorials. i tried ordering new sports bras from aerie but they had a gift card error so i rq’d... i ended my day with a call and got two one pagers done so i felt semi-productive. after work, i washed dishes and put the drying rack away. then i picked up keys from rachel for the guest suite this weekend ;D so excited. then i started making banana bread! i forgot to soften the butter and then i forgot to defrost the bananas. i don’t think i like banana ice cream... anyway, i somehow got them to thaw and then put that in the oven. i also spent some time defrosting chicken (we forgot to take it out).

kevin got back late due to train problems and then we checked out the guest suite. it’s $200/night and it’s pretty nice! it’s decorated in very contemporary modern style haha. then we went down, kevin cooked, i ran around and watched some videos, did some exercises, and then ate dinner (delicious chicken and bean sprout and veggie stir fry) while watching ‘how to get away with murder.’ we watched two episodes and then spent like 2 hours talking (: hehe it was really nice <3 then kevin went to game, i finished up working out, showered, dried my hair, and ko’d. i wanted to sleep before 1 am, but i slept at like 1:50 am...gg me.

16: i was ready to go to work but i was still sleepy. i went downstairs to see what the free food situation was all about but there were people down there so i just went back and got my jacket and got on the train. my bag was full of goodies: banana bread, oatmeal raisin cookies, and meltyblend chocolate. it was nice seeing everyone again, but everyone seemed pretty heads down in work. i ate lunch during the hour of tech and watched some youtube videos and then launched into 2 hours or so worth of meetings T_T i was dozing off so i had to stand up and move around and also cole gave me gum to keep me awake. thanks, cole! i was kind of counting the hours until work ended because i was so tired lol. i did get a good amount done though. everyone ate all of my baked goods by the end of the day. i had to get cole to take a bit home, but i competed against doughnuts and i won ;D anyway, i went to the chocolate store with cole and he bought white chocolate peanut butter cups and more pear jelly beans, and yeaaah. i didn’t buy anything because i am sick of sugar at this point. my skin is breaking out because of it too :(

we walked to south station and then i waited for kevin for a bit. he left when i got there? LOL so he took the silver line and with our luck, it was 15 minutes until the next train came so we waited together. lol the train was packed for some reason? it was 6 pm... and i kind of pulled a girl’s long hair when taking off my backpack ;( sorry girl! this is why i don’t have long hair anymore haha. we got home and we finished eating all of the banana bread and cookies and then ate some all-dressed chips. then i started playing pokemon again. i need to catch all of the pokemon!!! i ko’d on the sofa while kevin cooked dinner... he woke me up and we ate dinner, watched ‘how to get away with murder’ and played pokemon. i caught both celesteelas with p good IVs. then kevin washed the dishes and gamed while i did 60 minutes of kickboxing to try and get back on my fat burning grind. omg, i ate so much sugar and fat T___T then i showered and we both hopped into bed before 1:30 am. i ko’d while kevin played pokemon.

17: i think i was well-rested today. i’m trying to get back to 6 hrs and 30 minutes of sleep to 8 hours of sleep. i took my time getting up in the morning and then got to work and it was only me, dave, and jim in the office -- the product team. it’s nice being in an empty office :P i’m glad i went to work today. i was very productive in the morning and there were leftover munchkins from yesterday. the coconut chocolate one is pretty good! i was in standup for a bit too long, but it had to do with a long discussion about something very important and i am excited about it. i ended the day with that meeting. dave left and then i packed up and got on the train where a lady pushed passed me and then said ‘you don’t have to push.’ maybe i got on the train a bit too eagerly? anyway, i got home and it was sooo nice outside! it was bright. so i whipped out my yoga mat and did abs and hiit workouts. kevin came back from climbing early because he thought he was straining one of his wrists too much. so he came back home and ran on the treadmill instead. 

i got my ae sports bra purchase today and tried them on. i wasn’t sure if they didn’t fit so i had to get second opinions. i’m keeping them both now ;D i love the zipper in the front! i showered and then started cooking dinner ... pretty frantically because i didn’t prep correctly. i didn’t wash dishes because i didn’t think i would need to and then the recipe called for making the noodles and heating up chicken stock at the same time so that everything would still be hot when served. @_@ so i frantically cooked and tried to keep the noodles warm while cooking the egg and tomato. it turned out pretty good though! it really was a simple recipe and i just should have prepared better. kevin and i ate dinner while watching an episode of ‘how to get away with murder’ and then we booked our tickets to stockholm! we’re planning to fly to copenhagen right after and then fly back~ we did that and made a list of to-dos for the rest of the planning since we’re not going until summer.

then we packed some things up and headed over to the guest suite! they couldn’t fix our shower tile this weekend so we rescheduled to monday and tuesday and rachel let us keep our stay in the guest suite for this weekend ;D so we got there and then i got to use the bath bomb! it was so cool! the tub might not have been completely 100% clean though. hmmm. i’m probably not going to take baths ever again unless i know the tub is super clean / i cleaned it very well. we had a super relaxing evening together and it was so nice :) the bed was comfy but the pillows were a bit too much. we ended up knocking out while cuddling and woke up grumpy because our skin was so dried out by the heating in the room. .___. so i put lotion on my body and kevin did too and then we brushed and ko’d so that it would stop bothering us LOL. i would rate this room like a 3/5 (if it was me staying here as a guest). they didn’t have any shower stuff, no water filter, and the tv didn’t work. oh, also wifi didn’t work. so hmmm.... the guest suite isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. we still had a great evening together though ((((:

18: kevin got up so early today. .___. like possibly at 8:30 am or 9 am. we were both really dried out from the guest suite’s heat. i stayed in bed a bit longer with kevin until we both got hungry. we brushed up, packed everything except the bath stuff and toiletries, and headed back to our apartment. it smelled like leeks and cabbage and potstickers in our apartment for some reason. kevin made us potstickers, we played some pokemon and then headed to our massage. there was traffic on the way there but we got there only 5 minutes late. we had guy masseuses today. mine was gentle and apparently, they both used interesting techniques and focused more on other parts of our body instead of the back. i’m still a bit sore, but i would rather have the ladies work on me from now on. anyway, we got stuck in really terrible traffic for like 2 blocks because of construction. i played ‘i spy’ with kevin in the car and we just messed around.

he dropped me off and i baked some chicken nuggets and made some rice. he went to get bubble tea but the store was closed ;( so we just ate nuggets, i did internet errands and kevin played some overwatch. then we ate leftovers for the rest of lunch. we played pokemon until it was time to leave for our reservation at o ya! the train had a mechanical malfunction and all the passengers were kicked off and we had to wait for the next one. i freaked out because i thought we were going to be late (we were) and it was rude because this is a high class af restaurant. kevin calmed me down and we got seated and then it was time to order, cry, and eat. cry because everything was hella expensive, but we really wanted to eat here. it was a great first time experience and we had a lot of fun. we ordered 13 items, got roasted green tea (in love), and ordered 2 dessert items. we loved the uni toast, the coconut tapioca dessert, the pork belly, and the mushroom nigiri. i loved the eel nigiri of course. the dessert was my favorite. we also ordered $70 wagyu beef with potato confit and it was on point, but probably wouldn’t get again. the potatos were cooked amazingly.

they even had sewing kits, lint rollers, iphone chargers, etc on hand and you could get them from the host if you needed it -- fancy. the crowd was older people and a good amount of business men. it was a $400 meal and we’ll definitely be coming back for celebrations and whatnot. sumi will always have a special place in my heart though. i think that’s when i really started appreciating japanese food more. anyway, we took the train back (btw, o ya is like on this small hidden side street near south station and it’s so low key but highly rated) and kevin gamed while i watched soem youtube videos. he gamed a bit too long and i got upset because we were supposed to spend more time in the guest suite. i got over it after showering and then we went up there and i got to use my oatmeal luxury soap from lush and the rub, rub, rub bar. the water was much warmer and i think it was bad for my nerves because i went to sleep with the tingly nerve sensation. oh well, it will be my last time bathing for a while. that was good way to end the night :) it was another relaxing and fun time with the bear in the guest suite~ so grateful for this awesome week and i never want it to end, and it probably won’t because it was just spending time experiencing new things with kevin that made it great. <3

19: so we slept at like 3 am and we woke up at 12 or 1 pm. we were dead. we made potstickers and chicken nuggets for brunch. i was cramping a lot. T_T so i took it easy and just did laundry, which was smaller than usual? and then got my gleener (sweater fuzz remover) and tried it out on my leggings... it ended up ripping a hole in them T__T or rather maybe it was the dull razor i was using? the razor did a better job btw. so then i filed for a return, contacted bombas because there’s already a hole in my socks, and then looked around the apartment for thread? ugh, sad that i didn’t ask for a sewing kit in o ya now. i was a bit bummed out by all of these events and my stomach and cramps didn’t help either. i also have a terrible throat/ear pain. :/ sigh. we planned meals for the week earlier in the day so then we just changed and went to get groceries.

we got everything we needed at kam man but some items weren’t the freshest. we couldn’t find my coconut milk or any croissants left at bj’s. we have to go grocery shopping a bit earlier now :( haha. i like going late to avoid to crowds though. so we left bj’s with orange juice and some english muffins. we got back, i folded the laundry, helped cook noodles, and then we watched ‘it follows’ for our movie date because we didn’t want to go out and watch ‘logan’ or ‘get out’ or ‘beauty and the beast.’ it was a pretty good movie -- kevin got scared ;P it was a different kind of horror film. kevin cooked lunch while i exercised for a bit. then he vacuumed and showered. then i showered and we made the bed together and i went to sleep. zzz. i went to sleep before 1:30 am!! woot.