#came back with his tools and an office chair for me because he saw the chair I was gonna use and went :/

[tin-can-iron-man]

I just. I love my dad so much guys

[gorgeousgust]

I HAVE NO HEART. (NI WEH SESH) -K.B

Pairings: (Kaz Brekker x heartrender!reader)

A/N: Hello beautiful people! This fiction is based off clearly the season two, episode six from the Shadow & Bone series. There are some exact quotes from the episode because for the plot of the storyline. As a reminder, I don’t own Y/N and other characters and all rights go to beautiful Leigh Bardugo… I just love the write fanfics! Anyways, this is the only way I would write touching scenes with Kaz. And I loved watching that episode, it was amazing. The way the actors played very well… And I thought why wouldn’t Y/N be in it? Hope you enjoy it! Have a nice reading!

Word Count: 4.540

Warnings: Violence, poison, and no hates to Zoya, I love her but in the story, it is a bit different.

“There is something in the air!” Tolya said it with a haze of a worry. As all of you looked at the ceiling, you saw a red powder spreading across the room. “This is how we die?” Jesper exclaimed anxiously.

Suddenly a strong cough filled your throat. Your lungs were filling with the poisonous powder, when you turned your head to your side, you saw Jesper as he blacked out and collapsed into the floor. As you backed away, still coughing like the others, you leaned on the ground and put your hands on your heart.

As Tolya and you shared a glance, both of you were stabilizing your heartbeats. You glanced to Inej as she passed out and a loud thump came out from Kaz, as you looked at him he fell on the floor harshly. You feared that this moment might be all of your death.

-

The Slat was quiet unusually. You scoot over from Nina’s side and sit down on the high chair. You were eating some breakfast, as you felt growling inside your empty stomach.

While you were eating, two person came inside to the Slat. As you looked at them, the man had a strong physique and wore off-shoulder leather coat. He looked mighty. As you turned to the girl he was with, she looked oddly familiar. Had dark brown eyes match with her dark brown hairs. Her expressions were cold and still. While the guy looked rather cheerful. He was a Shu also. Then as you examined the girl further you realized it was Zoya. Zoya Nazyalensky.

As they beelined to the Kaz’s office, you exchanged a look with Nina. “Why is Zoya doing in here?” She asked confused. “I have no idea.” You looked confused too, but you waited patiently for Kaz to come to the table you and Nina sat.

After several minutes, Kaz walked downstairs following with Zoya and that Shu guy. As they walked to the table you two were sitting, Kaz informed briefly why they were here. The Shu man, introduced himself as you learned his name was Tolya, he explained further about why they wanted your assistance on this plan.

As you listened patiently, Nina spat in disbelief. “The Neshyenyer? Sankta Neyar's blade?” Zoya looked at her reproachful. “So, you haven't forgotten what you were taught at the Little Palace.” She said teasingly. “Just your loyalty to Ravka.“ She turned to her glances to you too while she was talking with Nina.

You haven’t bothered to answer her as Nina jumped in. “Ravka? Or Kirigan? It didn't take him destroying a city for me to question my loyalty.“ She said a little louder.

As Jesper intervened to ask the payment, Tolya answered and Zoya explained further for Nina’s questions.

After Kaz finished the conversation with an agreement, you looked at Kaz briefly then turned your attention back to Zoya while she eyed you with a straight expression.

That was it, a new business, going to help the sun summoner to destroying the fold, in return got a paycheck of thousands of kruges. You went to your own room and packed a small bag for your tools. As Kaz secured your passports, you went to meet them outside the Slat.

It was going to be an extremely dangerous quest. A difficult one, you were feeling it.

Before all of this happened, you were a heartrender, learning to control your abilities and studying small science in Little Palace. As soon as you were studying and under commands of General Kirigan, you realized that this place is degenerated.

You were friends with Nina, back then. As you two were both heartrenders, she was like a big sister for you. She supported you through everything you dealt about the Little Palace.

One day, you decided to tell her your plans. You were going to escape the Palace, you relied on Nina so much that you were so sure about that she wasn’t going to turn you in, as you went to her, you realized she was also making her escape plan too.

You two escaped the palace but unfortunately you grew apart as you found yourself in Ketterdam your dock sailed in. As that time, you and Kaz’s paths crossed. He found who you were and what was your abilities, then he offered you a salaried position. Because you were useful. Also, you needed money so you agreed his offer and worked for him.

After everything happened and your way’s crossed again with Nina, you were more than happy to see a friend.

As all of you finally docked in Shu Han, you looked at the crowd. The place looked beautiful. The crowd wore nice and unique clothes, the bazaar looked lively and relaxed, you turned to your head to Tolya as he lowered onto his knees, there was a thin candle in his hand as he looked at the statue decored with flowers and fruits. He was speaking in Shu language as you watched him.

You were standing next to Kaz and Wylan. Watching the scene as Inej lowered to her knees next to him, praying to herself. While Zoya and Nina did the same. As they began to speak to each other, you gazed through the colored fibers. It was too noise-full and the crowd looked messy.

Then Tolya got up and walked to where you all stood. There were flutes playing through. “Just so you know, it's bad luck not to honor the dead during Suntsa Sar.” He said it as he was eating walnuts and turned his gaze to the statue. Kaz side eyed the man as he was standing and looked pissed. Jesper scoffed and looked at Tolya.

“If I believed in luck, I'd be in less debt.“ Jesper said and you turned your gaze to Tolya. Kaz turned his face to his side and looked at Tolya coldy. He then said, “And I’m more concerned with the living.” You smirked to yourself hearing Kaz’s words. Always has a remark, you thought to yourself.

After Kaz said the tea shop should be open by now, he reviewed the plan one more time. Inside of your mind, deeply, you wanted to take Nina’s role. Pretending to be Kaz’s wife, for a brief selfish moment you wanted to feel it.

He wasn’t sentimental, how could he? If you are living in the Barrel you can’t have those ‘weak sentiments’ Kaz said always. It was a cruel joke to you, because you loved that man.

Over the time as your acquaintanceship bloomed into a friendship, you caught feelings for the very man who deprived himself from it. Despite he was denying the little feelings he has, you heard his heart.

After you two become friends, it wasn’t confirmed by him but it was there, you understood it, you subconsciously let yourself hear his heartbeat. It was impossible to not hear it. Whenever you met his dark eyes, you felt the heartbeats of his paced faster.

Or whenever he was in his office, writing things on papers or reading some books and planning heists, listening his heartbeat calmed your heart too.

But there were ups and downs. Whenever someone mentioned Pekka Rollins’s name or the nightmares he was having, you were the only one who knew about it, you heard his heartbeat got extremely fast which was worried you so much.

You wanted to help him, at those moments when you were near to him, those anxious feelings eased after seconds. He knew it was your doing. He never confronted you about it but sometimes it really did help him. You two never talked about any of this but Kaz was in fact, grateful.

They say the eyes are the mirror of the heart, maybe Kaz hid his true views by training himself but his heart was never hiding himself to you.

But most of the time, he hated it. How you can able to hear his heartbeat, his pulse, it was giving him away to you, he wanted to keep the disguise. Because disguise is always a self portrait.

Nina was pretending to be his wife, Inej was on the roofs for following Ohval and you were left to stuck with Zoya.

-

After what happened in that tea shop, all of you sat into a place and talked about what happened. Kaz explained about how Ohval was the Disciple and Nina said how she was able to control her own heartbeat. Kaz explained further.

Then Kaz began to explain the plan. He glanced at Nina briefly. “While she's out of the house, Nina will tail her to make sure she stays out of the house.“ Then she looked at you for a moment. “The rest of us will grab the blade. “ He said.

Zoya intervened in quickly and looked at Kaz with an annoyed expression. “You don't seriously expect me to break into this woman's house.“ Jesper looked at her unbelievably then he joined the conversation. Uh, why do you think we're here?“ He said it confusedly.

Zoya looked at Jesper, “I'm a soldier, not a thief. Why else would I need you criminals?” She said it with an arrogance in her face visible.

You looked at her as you rolled your eyes. “Well, sorry to disappoint you Zoya but there is not much of a difference between them than you think.” You looked at her with coldness as Nina chuckled to ease the tension. “Says the girl who ran away from her country.” Zoya said as you were about to reply back to her, Zoya turned to Kaz. “I’ll go with Nina.”

Nina coughed while she was eating some walnuts. “Are you sure you don’t need me?” She said to Kaz. “I mean, Zoya can tail Ohval.” You watched Nina as you grinned. Kaz was done with the silly arguments you two had with Zoya. “Nina and Zoya will wait for Ohval at the apothecary. Follow her. If she starts heading home, buy us some time. Distract her.” With that Kaz put an end into that conversation, again.

-

Now it was the time for the plan. You and the others walked to the outside of Ohval’s house. The building looked very much traditional, as you were thinking like that, Tolya voiced your thought. You looked briefly at Kaz. You were wondering what he was thinking.

As Jesper approached to Wylan’s side, you heard a faint heartbeat. Tolya must’ve heard it too, he and you shared a glance. He said there was a faint heartbeat and you agreed.

When the doors opened you, Kaz, Inej, Tolya and Jesper entered inside whilst Wylan was standing outside for all of you. As you heard a click sound, you turned to your back and look at the door.

Inej and Tolya both tried to open the door with their hands after it was no use, they kicked the door and it was useless. You heard a groan from them. Then as Inej tried to stabbed the wallpaper but it was no use, it was impenetrable and then you looked at Kaz. “Kaz what do we do?” You whispered to him.

Kaz, as he clanged his cane into the door he looked at you then Jesper. “The frames are made of metal.” As he said it Jesper looked relieved for a moment. “They are Durast made.”

As you heard another click sound, “There is something in the air!” Tolya said it with a haze of a worry.

-

You tried, you tried too hard to stay awake. You were yelling Wylan’s name but it was no use, it felt like your voice sounded mere whisper. You looked at Tolya which he tried to also yell for Wylan.

Then as you turned your glance towards Kaz and saw him laying there unconsciously, your vision got blurred and the next thing you felt the dizziness and the pain in your head.

You found yourself back in the Crow Club. You looked around… it was empty. There were no heartbeats you could feel. A slight worry took you over as you hurriedly walked to Kaz’s office.

You opened it without knocking. When you entered the inside of his office, there was only a dim light, lightening his desk.

“Hello, Y/N.” You heard Kaz’s crooked voice. How could that be possible? You haven’t heard his heartbeat and you still couldn’t. “Kaz?” You looked at him as your eyebrows furrowed. He was wearing a white shirt, very unusual for him.. He would only wear black outfits. He looked too angelic to be true, as you drank his appearance.

His faint skin looked brighter as he wore white shirt, his hair disheveled and his gloves… As he approached to your side, he was slowly getting rid of his gloves. “What are you doing?” You whispered worriedly. You knew he had an aversion to touch and you felt anxious as he was taking his gloves off.

“Can I?” He was asking for your consent to touch you, as his hand raised to side of your cheek, you didn’t understand what was happening but before your mind could protest, the feelings inside of you thought different. “Yes.” You found yourself saying.

Kaz’s hand slowly caressed your cheek and you closed your eyes for a brief moment. It was so strange yet so familiar to you, feeling his touch, it was a feeling that you wanted to bottle and drink away.

Then you opened your eyes and looked at him. His gaze never left yours as you looked at him. “I… want you, Y/N.” As your bodies pressed together, you looked at him with tears forming in your eyes.

“Kaz…” You whispered softly. “I, I-“ You felt shattered as his nose touched with yours. You closed your eyes and felt your lips be touched by his. It blossomed flowers inside your chest as you felt the foreign feeling. It was new but something happened through the haze of love, you coughed.

You looked at him as your eyebrows crossed in a confused glance. “You are not Kaz.” You said as you looked at your environment. This place wasn’t his office anymore, suddenly you found yourself in Little Palace, in Kirigan’s room. “How’s my little heartrender doing?” Kirigan said it smoothly as he looked at you devilishly. “What is happening?” You sounded afraid.

He then approached to your side. “Did you miss me, Y/N?” He smirked. Then he grabbed your hand. “Let go of me!” You resisted but it was no use, he was strong and you became that girl. That little girl who was yanked away from their family and trapped in Kirigan’s arms. “You cannot escape from me, Y/N, you know it.”

You tried to yank your hand away from him. To use your heartrender abilities to get him down but it was no use. “Maybe, you want this huh?” He looked at you as feelings of betrayal crossed his eyes. Then he let go of you and pulled his hand in the air as Kaz appeared in the door. “I’m going to destroy him!” Kirigan said.

“No!” You yelled as the time you put your hands up and waved it in the air, Kirigan’s shadow cut already killed Kaz, you were late.

“Y/N!”

You heard a voice.

“Y/N! Come on, wake up!”

-

Inej was the first one to wake up from the nightmare of the poison, she could able to reach Wylan and as Wylan could explode a small hole in the wall, he gave Inej butterflies.

Inej, as she ate the butterfly as Wylan said it, she felt disgusted. Nearly she was going to throw up however after a few seconds, she felt better. “Wylan..” She whimpered. “We need four more.” She said it in pain.

Inej put the butterfly in Tolya’s mouth as she forcefully made him chew the butterfly. As Tolya woke up with a disgusting taste in his mouth, Inej went to Wylan’s side and took one more butterfly from him.

Then she gave it to Tolya. “Tolya, Jesper. Put it in his mouth.” As Inej said it, she went away and took one more butterfly from Wylan’s hand.

She hurriedly scoot over the Y/N’s side and opened her mouth with her hand. “Come on, Y/N, eat.” As she forcefully tried to made her eat the butterfly, “Y/N, Come on, wake up!” Inej yelled and tears formed in her eyes, after several seconds, you woke up and met Inej’s face. “Inej?” You looked at her confused and you turned your gaze to the room.

You weren’t there inside the Little Palace, it was the poison. Then Inej got up from your side and took the last butterfly and approached to the Kaz’s side, as your eyes followed Inej, she forcefully tried to put the butterfly into Kaz’s mouth, but it was no use.

Something was keeping him from there and he was too tense to eat the butterfly. You looked at Kaz as tears brimmed in your eyes, you closed your eyes for a second as you remembered the cut, you opened and rushed to Inej. “Let me try,” You said desperately.

When Inej gave you the butterfly, you looked at Kaz’s closed eyes. “Don’t leave me, please.” You whispered to yourself. You opened Kaz’s mouth and tried to make him eat the butterfly, it was hard and he was struggling to eat it. “Kaz, Come on!” Your voice was dangerously loud as a tears dropped from your eyes. “I’m not gonna lose you, not today!”

You yelled to him as you tried to make him eat the butterfly.

-

“Who are you without your vengeance?” Jordie screamed at Kaz as his face looked too pale and there were inflammation marks all over Jordie’s face. “What is the worth of life if you have no one left to fight for?” Jordie said it with sadness, after completing his sentence the anger inside of him came back and his eyes light up with fire.

He drowned Kaz into the water again and Kaz’s felt the utter pain inside his body all over again. The feeling of his lungs feeling with water, utterly panicked him.

Then he heard a voice. It was not Jordie’s. Muffled but not his. It was a girl voice. “Kaz, come on!” She yelled, then as the hands pulled him back, he looked at the very face of Y/N.

The way her eyes looked too worried for him, the way her touch calmed his heart and as the way she pulled him, he looked so relieved to see her.

“Kaz, I’m so sorry,” She said as Kaz’s eyes opened. For a moment, Kaz didn’t feel Y/N’s touch on his face as his eyes met with hers, a sincere relief could be seen by anyone.

But Kaz remembered. The feeling of wet dead bodies flashed into his mind and suddenly he struggled under Y/N’s touch, Y/N hurriedly backed away from him and closed her eyes.

“Is anyone alive?” You heard Wylan’s worried voice. After Tolya and Inej briefly talked, you got up and avoided to look at Kaz. His back was turned from all of you. You got up slowly and looked at Inej. “Did anyone else get lulled into a comforting sense of joy?” Jesper said as his voice cracked, his eyes got teary.

“I didn’t see anything.” Kaz said it coldly as you looked at him. He breathed heavily then Inej briefly glanced at him. “Neither did I.” You didn’t comment on what you saw, you just dodged the question.

“Alright, what’s the plan?” Tolya said.

-

After Kaz came up with a plan, Ohval walked in and all of you laid down and pretend to be unconscious. She opened the door and looked at all of you. Inej, was on the ceiling and she landed silently. While she was about to pull her knife, Ohval kicked her to the backyard.

Inej got up and pulled her knives. She threw them into Ohval but as Ohval put her hand up, she pushed the knives to the ground. Inej looked at Ohval with a terrified look.

Then all of you got up from the ground. Tolya, Jesper and you hurriedly ran to the backyard as Kaz went inside of the house. Inej threw several knives into Ohval but she was too quick to dodge Inej’s knives.

As Tolya, you and Jesper went to Inej’s side, Jesper and Tolya raised his gun to Ohval, you put your hands up waiting.

Ohval threw Tolya’s gun only a movement of her hand, then she looked at Jesper and warped Jesper’s guns.

When you saw what happened, you curled your hands and showed it to Ohval. Trying to slower her heartbeat into a dangerous rhythm. Tolya also raised his hands to join you but Ohval raised her hands and pulled all the knives in Inej’s waistcoat. She turned the weapons into your way.

It was too quick.

Tolya grunts, all of you dodged the knives. “Seriously offside.” Jesper said as he was very pissed about Ohval’s movements. She threw her hair accessory to Jesper’s neck as she tried to chock him with it. Tolya approached to Ohval’s side and he pulled a punch towards her but she defended herself too quickly. She punched Tolya’s arm while Inej also did a counter on Ohval. Ohval pulled away from Inej’s fist and turned to both of them.

As both Tolya and Inej tried to takedown Ohval, Jesper was still trying to not choke. You raised your hands quickly and curled it to target Ohval. As you were trying to air out of her lungs, she quickly punched both of them to the ground and raised her hands to you.

The next minute you knew, you were choking from loss of air, inside of your lungs. Your vision got blurry, Tolya and Inej looked at you briefly then they attacked Ohval again. As you felt ease, you breathe again. It was deep and, you were hurting.

But she was too strong. She kicked Tolya down and Inej threw her kick into hers but Ohval took her leg and threw her to the wall. You got up and tried to punch Ohval but she quickly dodged the punch and kicked you to the ground.

Inej took her knife as Ohval took one of hers. She tried to stab Inej but, Inej was able to dodge them. As she fought back to Ohval, it was no use. Ohval took her down and tried to stab the knife into Inej’s chest. She was resisting but she couldn’t hold it forever.

Tolya got up slowly as he begged for Inej’s life.

Then suddenly there was an explosion.

Zoya, Wylan and Nina came in just in time. Zoya curled her hands up and hit it Ohval with it. Ohval fell on the ground as all of you got up and and looked at Ohval.

You and Nina were giving Ohval a hard time. You two were trying to stop her heartbeat. But she was powerful, as she moved her hands to the side, all of you chocked.

Zoya gasped and all of you fell down with a movement of Ohval. “This is taking longer than I’d like… Perhaps, we end it.” Ohval said with a harshness in her voice. As she curled her hands, you felt your heart quickened. Your organs were hurting and your vision got blurry. You can only feel the pain and fear. You tried to resist it but she was too powerful.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” Ohval said with a smirk. “The amount of trace metal there is in the body. Iron, for instance in the blood.”

As she was killing all of you, the sound of an old man came into the backyard. Ohval put her hands down as she released all of you.

You slowly got up from the ground, you saw Kaz. You felt shocked as you heard from Kaz that the Disciple was the man, not her.

Kaz smirked as he looked at Ohval. When the man in chair revealed he stole the Neshyenyer for her and that it belonged to her in the first place, Jesper stepped in. “I’m sorry did you say she made it?” he said.

As the older man got off from the chair and approached to her, he was telling about how she made it. Then Tolya smiled and completed his words.

He chuckled softly. “And it was named Neshyenyer, ‘Relentless.’” He then fell into his knees. “We are honored to be in your presence, Sankta Neyar.” He said as all of you, expect Kaz, fell into your knees for her. “Sankta Neyar?” Inej said surprisingly.

-

After Jesper took the blade from Sankta Neyar’s house, all of you walked off from her house. It was early hours of morning as the sun appeared in the sky, you took a fresh air into your lungs.

As Jesper was with Wylan, he was kissing him. While Nina, Zoya and Tolya walked away from the house. You, Inej and Kaz walked away too. As you squeezed gently Inej’s arm, Kaz looked at both of you.

Inej then turned her head to Kaz. She smiled softly and looked at you. “I’m gonna check in Jesper.” She squeezed your hand and walked away from the two of you.

You and Kaz walked silently as Inej left your side. After a minute of silence, Kaz broke it. “You never told, what you saw.” You looked at him in a shocked expression. You didn’t expect him to remember it.

“You didn’t see anything, maybe I didn’t see too.” You answered it as you tried to brush it off. But then Kaz stopped in his tracks and turned his body to you. “Maybe I did see something, through the haze of poison.” He admitted as when you hear his heartbeat, it got quicken. You looked at him deeply.

“There are those who drown us, and those who pull us out.” He looked at you deeply as he said these words. You felt blush crept into your cheeks as you watched him. For a brief moment you closed your eyes. “Maybe I did see something too.” You revealed weakly.

He looked at you with a visible concern in his face. “What did your toxin trip reveal to you?” He said it curiously. You then opened your eyes and felt tears in your eyes. Kaz’s eyebrows furrowed and you smiled softly. “My reason to live and my biggest nightmare. All in the same place.”

The reason you live because of Kaz.

The biggest nightmare was Kaz’s death.

Kaz looked at you, for a brief moment his eyes soften because of the tears in your eyes. “But it doesn’t matter, now, we are alive.” You said softly and turned your body and looked at the sky. Kaz, watched your face as you looked at the sky.

He saw living saints but none of them mattered to him. The only saint he believed in was standing next to him. The only one to be there for him through his nightmares and everything.

He would become a better man for her. He would be a better man, for her.

[rizzrack]

Do you feel it? Yes. I feel it.

He nodded to himself continually as his stream of affirmations carried him on. Rizzrack had been on this journey for days, restlessly driven by a force he fully submitted to. He traveled the roads both day and night. Sleep could not reach him as visions from the future buzzed in his mind. What lay ahead of him? New challenges? New adversaries? Would there be more trees? His longstanding fear of arboreal giants no longer gripped him like before, its foundation now shifted by a new understanding. Like himself, trees were nothing more than tools to be manipulated by greater forces. They were all passive creators of their own fates. No longer was his soul burdened by the need to fulfill his own selfish desires. It was no longer for himself. It was for a greater Being. A truly universal purpose!

And to fulfill that purpose, he needed to retrieve his bloodstone.

Gaining ever increasing clarity of the bigger picture, Rizzrack chuckled to himself, once again recognizing irony. His identity and purpose was once an inescapable prison. He was cursed with a self-imposed sentence that stretched ever longer the more he served his time. Only by accepting his place did he finally find freedom. He no longer looked out from behind bars. He looked in and down with contempt at a world corrupted against him by the very force that tried to destroy him.

Finally, one early morning, the landscape became familiar. Rizzrack paused for the first time since his journey began and surveyed the area. The moment he stood still, his legs and knees trembled uncontrollably and exhaustion was mistaken for excitement. He recognized the fields as well as the barn far off into the distance. He was close!

….

Although it was morning for those beyond the city limits, it was enough to be just outside the gates to see nothing but oncoming night. One would have to have to take a longer walk down the road if they wanted to leave the sphere of influence. That was what one of the guards did for his short break, conveniently extending it by a degree or two of time.

" 'Bout time you came back, Garner. Thought you got lost. Now's your turn to do the checks so I can get a stretch in." The queue became two traders shorter and the working guard took his chance to stand up while Garner took his place. He leaned and twisted as far as the thick leather armor he wore would allow, and when he was finished, he yawned and leaned back upon the wooden beam that was part of their makeshift 'office'.

The line dwindled away, and soon there was nothing to do but wait until the more travelers came (or their shift ended).

"Gods…" Garner groaned. He pushed his chair back and kicked his feet up onto the wooden table that served as their desk. "Tell me Cruis…" his head rolled back and mouth hung open as he stared boredly at his post buddy. "… Why haven't we got promoted yet?

Cruis was hardly faring better than Garner, practically slumping down the support as he tried to pretend he was keeping alert. "Huhm? Well…" He yawned and straightened up only to resume his lazy leaning. "We haven't cuz we're not kiss asses to the commander. Not like that bastard Marron."

Garner scoffed. "If I was in charge of watch I wouldn't be making my guys do this dumb shit. Increased vigilance for what? Why? Because of that secret lab shit? It's over, it's gone, what else is there to do but clean up the mess?"

"And why do we get the shittiest shift?"

"Yeah, why DO we get the shittiest shift?"

"Maybe it's 'cause of the bakery."

"Huh?"

"Maybe they thought we were slacking off."

"If it's my goddamn break I have every right to grab a roll! That's not slacking off, brother!"

"I bet Marron saw and snitched on us. I hate that guy."

"If he ever becomes my boss I'm done with this place." Seeing a new wave of comers aproaching, Garner groaned and dropped his feet down. This shift couldn't be over fast enough.

Sigh. …. "Purpose of visit?" …. "And your length of stay?" …. "Have a good evening. As always."

The guard logged another entry down. As he was midway through, a noticeable murmuring began to rise from the queue. Intending to finish the last details, he couldn't resist looking up when the discontent became more apparent. It was only then that Cruis finally spoke up behind him.

"'Xcuse me, sir? Sir! There's a line! We don't expedite here!" Garner sat up, his look of confusion quickly changed to a brow-furrowed look of disapproval. He then leaned forward, having to lift slightly from his seat if he were to see what seemed to be a keen, a small-keen to be more precise, beyond just his eyes.

"Sir, you need to wait your turn. The line is back there."

"Turn? For?" Rizzrack glanced to the side and his eyes met with a line of displeasured glares. "Oh I'm not here for… whatever that is. I'm just here to get in."

Cruis stood more attentively now. Was this the end of boredom? Was he going to get his chance to bodyslam a beligerant shorty? He then saw Garner look back his way with a face that said 'you seeing this?'.

"Sir, that is The Line to Get In."

"Well that wasn't there before. Are you telling me I have to pay?"

"No, I'm telling you that-"

Suddenly a (small) handful of gold coins were dropped onto the table. "Here. This should cover my entry fee MANY times over." Rizzrack stood up on his toes and reached an arm over the table to sort the coins in a row. Nine pieces of gold. Both of the guards were momentarily stunned. Garner glanced up at the line knowing very well just how this looked to the disgruntled spectators.

"No. Bribes." He placed a hand on top of the coins and slid them halfway back across the table towards Rizzrack who proceeded to swipe them back towards the guard.

"Look! I just need to get in, okay?" Rizzrack barked. "Right now. I don't need to stand in a line!" Suddenly his eye brows lifted as he remembered something. "Do you know who I am? I know the Warden!"

Cruis frowned. That was quite a bold claim to make. If he was telling the truth and they gave him a hard time, well that would just mean they'll get a hard time too. "Just let him go through." He leaned in further towards Garner to add: "He can be someone else's problem. At worst he's just crazy. I mean look at him."

Garner glanced down at the jittering small-keen. It was more than apparent he hadn't sleep in days. "Okay. Go." He hissed through his teeth. Rizzrack's demeanor switched from irritation to sudden gleefulness.

"THANK you! Now wasn't that simple? I'll put in a good word for your cooperation!" The small-keen chirped as he practically skipped his way into the city.

The guard's eyes rolled . With his pen he quickly pretended to log an entry. This didn't stop a few of those waiting in light from voicing their anger. "Alright. Next." He didn't get paid enough to care.

A place like Weeping Rose should have served to be a constant reminder to Rizzrack of the suffering he's inflicted. It should have, but it didn't. It wasn't because Rizzrack forgot. He remembered, but those memories belonged to the old Rizzrack. He was a new Rizzrack. The Radiant's Rizzrack. A Hero. No looking back. Only forward. ONWARD!

Rizzrack traveled through the city that was once a maze to him. It still was, but now he knew exactly where he was going. He FELT it. Not even the crowds of the markets could stop him as he deftly weaved on through. He knew he was almost there, he just had to-

Rizzrack stopped, finding himself at an intersection. He knew where he was. He know where the lab was. He knew where his bloodstone was. Yet he was being told to go somewhere else? Not towards the shop?

He stood as motionless as he could. Everything within him pointed him to turn down another path. But his mind felt otherwise. Perhaps this urge had changed. Perhaps it was the old him within? The corrupted force. The FEAR. Yes, the fear of returning to the lab. No, he REFUSED to let it get the better of him! Resisting his urge to turn, he continued on down the alley.

Time had passed since the discovery of the lab, enough so that damaged structures could be secured and the rubble of the ground cleared away so that a proper baricade could be erected around the hole. Rizzrack stood nearby, glancing up at the front of the stall at a sign that brought attention to the hidden just within:

Cheap! Reposessed. Previously keen-owned workshop space for sale. Stipulation: Basement space under Quorum control. No Access.

An idea struck him. What if he could own the shop? He could make great use of it! Reeaaaaally put the bloodstone to use with a NEW. SAWSUIT. YES. He excitedly entered the stall and ran towards the back space. He reached for the door but found that it was unfortunately locked. Dammit. Who did he need to get ahold of? He stepped back out to glance back at the sign. There was no other information, save for that singular mention. "Whelp!" He clapped his hands together. "Time to find the Quorum!"

And he did just that, realizing now that feeling was right all along. His new inner guidance would never fail him!

The taps of heeled shoes echoed down the hall. She didn't like how she could be heard coming. Today was the wrong day for these heels. But how was she to know she'd have such an urgent message to deliver? The young woman was nervous but she refused to falter. She stepped with haste to the Warden's office. She hoped he was there. If not, she would have to wait. No notes could be left. No papers, no scrolls, not even a strip of parchment…

She abruptly stopped and took a few steps back. She nearly passed his door. She quietly sighed and straightened her skirt and brushed a loose strand of hair her face. She then gave to firm knocks. … She debated giving a second, louder knock. As she raised her hand she heard a response from within. There was some relief knowing that this would be a mercifully quick encounter. She never liked having to leave her desk duties.

"Good evening, Warden, sir." She began. "I'm Korierre from City Hall. I'm sending a message on behalf of the Quorum. Permission to enter?"

@nortromthesilencer

[fatuismooches]

Ohhhh vulnurable Dottore 😶 What if this is a moment when he realises he can't heal us? He's trying and trying and trying, using all accessible methods (smt questionable and anti-sciense) but n o t h i n g works, there is no way to make us feeling better. And a new reality breaks him down, this is his breaking point.

But you're a sweet, lovely soul, you understand everything and never blame him for failures. When he's crying all you can do is holding and kissing him.

(uhhh finally I'm brave enough to reveal myself haha 😬 I was that anon with several Pantalone's hcs about him speaking French and a reader changing their ring to simple one 🙈)

The crashes that came from Dottore's private lab were so loud it probably echoed throughout the entirety of the whole research building. And it wasn't the sound of an experiment gone wrong exploding, or something fell down by accident, or perhaps some screaming, no. It sounded like something was being forcefully destroyed, on purpose too at least with how much crashing and banging there was. And you just had a horrible feeling about it.

You were right.

You didn't even bother knocking on the door, instead just shoving it open before you called out his name, although you cut yourself off when you saw the state his lab was in. It was a dreadful mess. There wasn't one thing that hadn't faced his frightening strength. The desk and bookshelves had tumbled to the ground, the chairs had been snapped in half... somehow, but considering his power that shouldn't be surprising. Even the operating tables were damaged, glass on the floor from the breaking of his tools and capsules. On the floor, you could read all of the documents scattered around, at least the ones that weren't torn to shreds. The books from the toppled bookshelf? All dedicated journals to your condition over the years. The photos on the floor? Pictures of your body, internally and externally. The random bottles on the floor? Prototype medicines that didn't work with your body. And all at the center of it was your husband. Dottore. Or rather Zandik, as you called him when it was just the two of you. His back was turned to you as he didn't seem to acknowledge the mess around him or even you. You slowly walked towards him, your heart already hurting as you were pretty sure you knew what this was all about.

"Zandik, look at me, please." Dottore's fingers twitched at your words, but then he balled them up, not able to bring himself to face you. You had no choice but to walk in front of him instead. "Zandik, I-" you paused abruptly when you saw his face. Zandik was crying.

He was like a statue. He didn't move. He didn't speak. He didn't sob. He merely looked at you, tears gliding down his cheeks completely unmoving and expressionless. You were speechless. In all your centuries of being with Dottore, you had never seen him cry. You've seen him genuinely happy, genuinely mad, genuinely sad - but never any tears, not even remotely. But here he was crying in front of you anyway... because of you.

The state his office was in was surely no state for you to comfort him, not with the chairs and desks toppled and in shambles... so you silently took his balled hand in yours and peeled away his fingers, allowing you to hold his hand. You led him to his own room (which was connected to his own lab, you know he can't be separated from his research) and he followed you, this time not putting up a fight. You two sat down on his bed and you immediately pulled him against your chest, holding him. Dottore remained unmoving for a bit, until he reciprocated and wrapped his arms around you carefully, as if you would disappear at any second. It was a very silent moment, as neither of you said anything for a long time. And well... it was kind of a learning experience for you too. You couldn't do much besides this but... you hoped it helped. But you needed to say something too...

"Zandik," you murmured, pulling him away from your chest which was only damp now, it seemed like he stopped crying a while ago. Though he still had that empty expression on his face. You reached to take off his mask but his arm quickly grabbed yours before you could even touch it. Ah, of course, he didn't want you to see him. He didn't even want you to know about this in the first place, probably. But that simply wouldn't do. "Zandik," you repeated again, "let me see you. Please," your fingers glossed over his cheek tenderly. "It's only me here, you know," the metal of your wedding ring felt cold against his skin, "And I'm not going to give up or leave, love." You hoped the look in your eyes read - it's okay to be vulnerable, Zandik. Please just be you when you're with me. The Harbinger gritted his teeth and held your waiting arm a little harder, as your other one came to cup his cheek. It wasn't easy to break him down, but eventually, he reluctantly let you go.

You took the mask off and set it to the side, focusing on your lover's expression. His eyes always told so much. And this time, they looked very, very tired. Though even still, his gaze was cast off to the side. But, this time you wouldn't force him. Dottore still acted high and mighty even in his lesser moments. He didn't like being seen like this. He was supposed to be the Doctor, the one who controls the game and has all the power. Not a vulnerable boy who was the opposite, who could have anything in the world except this one thing - your cure.

"It's alright," you whispered, kissing his forehead. "I'm alright." You kissed the corners of his eyes this time, a tiny bit red from crying. "Okay?" This time you went for his lips, and although he took a few seconds to reciprocate, he slowly kissed you back. As if he would never be able to kiss you again, neither of you let go. "There's no need to worry, I'm here," you combed your fingers through his hair. "I know that no matter what happens, I'll be next to you. I love you." Dottore didn't respond nor did he look at you. But he heard it. And he crept his hand under your shirt as he placed his fingers above your heart, counting the beats. His way of reassuring himself you were still alive. And for now, that was enough.

A part of you wanted to apologize. Apologize for putting this burden on him. If only you... were not you. If you could be someone else, then Dottore wouldn't have to invest so much into you. You know he loves and adores you how you are but- you know it's not the time to go down into those thoughts. Instead, all you need to do right now is comfort your beloved. Make him know that you see him. You love him. You accept him. You believe in him. And that regardless of all the failures he may endure, nothing would ever make you love him any less.

...

UM HI HELLO. Thank for this idea omggg i went through all stages of pain 😭 AND YOU WROTE THOSE OTHER HCS TOO?? Gosh you have such *chef's kiss* amazing ideas I LOVE THEM !!

[sweet-slut]

The text just said "Inspection. 8 o'clock"

Sweetie didn't know what to expect, but she was excited. Daddy hasn’t ever sent a text like that before. Not knowing added a little bit of fear to the arousal.  She tidied up her room, put on her favourite panties, and added a tiny bit of lip gloss to her fresh face.

It was already quarter to 8, but the waiting was intolerable. Sweetie lay on top of her bed, scrolling Tumblr but not actually paying attention. What kind of inspection? Her room? Her clothes? Her body?! Her other hand started to softly caress her hardened nubs through her soft t-shirt.

At 8 on the dot, without a knock her door swung open, and daddy stood at the threshold. He was wearing his work clothes, slacks and a collared shirt, and carried a small, folded satchel under one arm.

He smiled his warmest, most reassuring smile and said, "Hello Sweetie."

Sweetie's pussy clenched. Daddy can be so comforting and so scary at the same time.

Behind him, a woman entered. Sweetie had seen her before, a friend of daddy's, but they hadn't met. She was beautiful. Almost as tall as daddy with chestnut hair and hazel eyes. She strode into the room and pulled behind her a large chair on wheels. It looked a bit like an office chair, but it had a foot rest and a lot more handles than you'd see on a chair like that.

The woman pushed the chair into the middle of the room, pressed a pedal with her foot, and a little clunk indicated the chair had locked into place.

"Inspection time, Sweetie. I need to make sure you're healthy and strong for daddy, because you're very important to me. Are you ready?"

Sweetie hestiantly nodded. She knows that it doesn't matter what she said, because when daddy asked "Are you ready" he didn't wait for an answer.

"Get in the chair."

His stern voice. The sweet talk was gone. It's started.

Sweetie climbed off her bed and walked towards the chair. The woman gave her a little nod and Sweetie climbed in. The chair was reclined just a bit, and her socked feet just met the footrest near the base of the chair.

"Good girl."

Daddy spun the chair around 180 degrees so now Sweetie was facing him. Without warning, the woman pulled one of the handles below the armrest and the back dropped down and the feet kicked up.

Sweetie was now looking forward at about 45 degrees. Daddy smiled and turned to his tool bag on the bed. Unfastening the button loop on the outside, he unfolded his bag into three segments, showing several different implements that Sweetie did not recognized. Some reflected like steel, others looked plastic, and see saw what looked like wooden depressors.

While Daddy was preparing, the woman came from behind Sweetie and took position just to her side, squatted down, and pulled some Velcro fasteners from under the arm rests. Before she could protest, the thick strap was around her arm and the chair; Sweetie couldn’t move it. The woman did the same with her other arm.

Sweetie has been tied before. She likes restraint. She likes giving up all control to Daddy, even when he's scary, but she hasn't been strapped like this before, and not by a stranger.

Daddy turned around to face his sweet girl. He smiled at her and looked pleased with the restraints. In one hand he had a tongue depressor and in the other, a plastic stick that looked like it could be a pen.

"Sweetie, I think this might be scary for you, but it's because I care for you. I want to make sure you're in good health. That sounds good, right?  Now, open your mouth, and say, "ahhhhh."

Sweetie did what she was told, because she does not want to upset him, and he's so good to her when he's pleased.

"Stick out your tongue."

Daddy approached her from the side and then came around behind her. Sweetie couldn’t see where the woman went. With her mouth open and her tongue out, Daddy leaned down from behind her and placed a hand on her chin. With his thumb and forefinger, he nudged her head a little to the right and a little to the left, not making any sounds other than a couple "hmmms" and a "yes, good." Then he placed the wooden stick firmly on her tongue and pressed. As he did that, he moved the pen device around her mouth, teeth, and tongue.

"Very good."

Sweetie felt a little warming inside from his praise.

Daddy retreated and moved back around in front of her. He leaned down to Sweetie's right leg and slowly rolled down the thigh high sock she was wearing, and then moved over to the left leg and did the same. He didn't say a word, didn't even look at her, as he removed her socks.

"Ok Sweetie, now I am going to ask for some help, alright? Don't be frightened."

"Darling," he said to the woman, "wouid you mind, please?"

The woman moved from behind the examination chair and went to Sweetie's bed where Daddy's tool bag was still open. She took out a pair of surgical scissors and came back to Sweetie's side.

Then the woman leaned in very close to Sweetie's ear, their cheeks as close as possible without touching.

"You're being very brave. I am not going to hurt you, but I need you to stay still, ok?"

Sweetie's nod was almost unperceivable, but she looked at the woman as if to say, "Anything you want."

The scissors came down to Sweetie's belly, with her little tummy exposed, and a tiny snip was made through the hem of the shirt. Daddy came around to the side of the chair and grabbed at Sweetie's shirt. Pulling where the cut was made, the thin material tore easily, exposing Sweetie's little titties to the room.

"Yes," Daddy said with approval. "They are very nice. Quite healthy for your age."

He then reached out with both hands and started to roughly handle and massage Sweetie's tits. He would squeeze and grab them, paying special attention to her nipples, which he would roughly flick back and forth with his fingertips.

Sweetie squirmed a bit at the pleasure, and Daddy said, "Good girl. You like it when I play with your titties, don't you?"

Not waiting for an answer, he stopped and went back to the bed, looking at his tools and considering. At the same time, he asked again for help. "Darling, could you please prepare her bottoms?"

"Yes dear."

The woman came back from around behind Sweetie, but now she was completely naked. Her body was astounding. Her breasts were not large, but still pointed straight forward. Her legs were long and strong. Her pubic hair was trimmed into a short triangle, the same dark brown as her hair. She smiled at Sweetie as she moved back around to the front of the chair, and it was a genuine smile: comforting, even a little playful. As she moved she said, "You're doing great, Sweetie."

The woman reached the front of the chair, bent over, and grabbed Sweetie's sleep pants by the waist and slowly pulled. Her panties went with them. Sweetie was excited and nervous and a little ashamed? Would her pussy be wet? Would the woman notice?

Once she'd brought her bottom's to Sweetie's thighs, the woman looked back at Sweetie and said, "Mmmm, you're lovely, honey." Her PJ bottoms kept moving down her legs until they were past her feet and off. She felt so exposed like this. She struggled a bit against the restraints but knew that she wouldn’t be able to go anywhere until Daddy's said so.

The woman folded Sweetie's little bottoms with care and placed them on the bed, and moved to take her position behind the examination chair again. As she passed, she reached her hand out to Sweetie's face, she caressed her cheek, and placed the softest kiss on Sweetie's lips. Sweetie couldn't remember a feeling so tender in her life.

"Excellent!" Daddy had turned around and looked pleased at the developments, "You're ready for the full examination now."

Daddy leaned down and grabbed the side of the foot rest, and pulled a latch. The foot rest split in two, and clicked upwards, now functioning as stirrups. With his rough hands, he took Sweetie's legs, one at a time, and carefully placed them in the stirrup, using another strap of Velcro to fasten her ankles.

Daddy looked pleased, seeing his princess exposed to him. Drinking in her body from her feet to her forehead. She was restrained tightly now, unable to move her arms or legs. He walked towards her, and got down on one knee between her feet.

"If you're a good girl, you'll be rewarded. Do you want that?"

Another nod. Sweetie loved daddy's rewards.

Daddy was staring straight into her cunny now. He wasn't touching her, but he was definitely close enough to see if she was wet, if she was aroused. She was embarrassed, she wasn't sure why, but she felt shame that Daddy was looking at her like this.

With a single finger, Daddy began to explore the outside of her parts. He moved from the inside of her thigh, to the outside of her labia, up to the top where her little hairs met the top of her cunny, and then slowly down the inside. He didn't say a word and Sweetie couldn’t see his face. He made no sounds, and Sweetie tried her best to do the same.

As his finger moved around, he was spreading her wetness all over. There was no hiding it from him now. He was making her lips wet, her sparse public hairs were wet, he even dragged his finger down and to her bumhole, massaging in little circles with his wet finger.

Sweetie finally gasped. Daddy made a little chuckle, but kept up with his explorations. Daddy's friend leaned down again, cheek to cheek with Sweetie, and said, "He's going to be so good to you. We both will. I hope you appreciate it. Only the best girls get this treatment."

Sweetie was finding it harder to control herself. Daddy's touches were becoming more deliberate. Before he would brush her clit somewhat accidentally, but now he was being intentional. There was no doubt he was running his finger back and forth over her little nub. Not as fast as she liked it, but she wasn't frustrated by his touch. She could feel the little storm brewing inside her.

Sweetie's squirming became more deliberate as well. She started to push back against his fingers as best she could, trying to capture his strong digits inside her. Daddy made a little chuckle and stood up.

"Yes, yes, Sweetie. I know what you want. We're almost done."

Daddy nodded again behind her, and the chair made another 'chunk' sound and tilted up another 20 degrees. Sweeties head was now parallel to the ground and her legs were above her hips.

Daddy took two steps forward and was standing between Sweetie's legs, his gaze directed to her wet pussy. Just as Sweetie was beginning to feel too exposed and too embrassed, the lady behind her leaned over and brushed her cheek again.

"Sweetie, you're so beautiful."

The woman paused long enough to see the flush in Sweetie's cheeks and leaned in for a kiss. She pressed her lips to Sweetie's and just held there. Sweetie liked that she wasn’t aggressive or forceful. She kissed the woman back, opened her mouth just the slightest, and started to feel the woman's tongue brush her lips.

They were kissing now. Open mouths, tongues dancing, the occasional whimper or moan. Sweetie loved that this beautiful woman wanted to touch her. It made her feel so desired and special and so, so beautiful. Sweetie could feel her pussy dripping now. It was cool on her skin, and she could almost feel each individual drop travel down her wet lips, and then fall to the floor.

Then, with a shock, she realized she'd forgotten about daddy. She was unprepared for the intrusion she had just felt. She didn't know what it was that was inside her, but it wasn't his finger. It felt harder, colder, smaller. "He's put something inside me," was the only thought Sweetie could muster, distracted enough that she pulled away from the lovely lips of Daddy's friend.

Sweetie managed to tilt her head forward enough to see Daddy kneeled between her legs. It must have been that pointer or pen he had shown her. He was using it to push in and out of her cunt, then up and down her lips, and then back inside. It wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't particularly satisfying either. Sweetie wanted more, but she not dare ask for more. Daddy's in charge. Daddy will be good to me.

"Darling, would you come here?"

"Of course."

Daddy's friend practically glided to the front of the chair. Completely naked, she crouched down and took her position next to Daddy between Sweetie's legs.

"Look how wet she is. Look at how pretty her cunt is. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? Her holes are so tiny, but they will stretch out so big. Touch here," and then Sweetie felt a soft finger explore her pussy. It wasn't rough, but it wasn't shy either. The woman pushed deep, and Sweetie moaned.

"Oh," the woman spoke in half a groan, "she feels just wonderful."

"She does," replied Daddy, "hold this for me while I get another tool."

The woman took hold of the pointer without removing her finger. Sweetie could feel the two entering her with more coordination. Almost like she liked to touch herself with her pencil. Sweetie couldn't help but buck back a bit, trying to take the intruders deeper.

The woman smiled warmly and said, "Very soon, my dear. You're being so patient with us. It wont be long."

Daddy agreed. "Yes, we're almost finished here. You're the best we've ever had, Sweetie. You should be proud.

The woman withdrew her finger and the pointer. Daddy leaned down and Sweetie could feel something new at her entrance. Not his finger, but not a metal or plastic instrument. Slowly she could feel herself spread open. The intruder was big, but not unnatural. Daddy is pushing a plastic cock!

Sweetie was being penetrated by an unseen plastic dick and it made her feel a jumble of different emotions. She was ashamed and embarrassed by being so exposed, and proud to be Daddy's favourite, but more than all she needed to be filled. She wanted to feel how far this toy went, how much Daddy would push.

It wasn't long before Sweetie got her wish. Daddy kept pushing and pulling the plastic invader, deeper each thrust. Sweetie could hear the sounds her cunt was making, all squishy and sloppy and loud. She wanted it all. She wanted to be such a good hole for Daddy.

The fizzies and the sparks started to grow louder inside her. She stopped thinking about what was inside her or who was watching and instead only wanted more.

"Daddy…"

It was the first time Sweetie had addressed him directly.

"Hmmm..?" He didn’t look up from between her legs.

"D-daddy… I need it."

"What do you need, Sweetie?"

"I need it inside me. More of it."

He chuckled. "yes, I know you do, baby. I know you do. But that's as far as this toy goes. Would you like to try another?"

She made a sound somewhere between a moan and a whine, "Yyyyeeeesssssssssss…."

"Ok dear. I will get another."

"Darling, would you mind? While I find something bigger for our girl?" Daddy stood up and stepped back, and the woman took her position between Sweeties legs. She was pumping the dildo now, in and out, following the moans and pleas that Sweetie would make. Sweetie looked down and made eye contact with Daddy's friend. The look in her face made Sweetie blush.

Without breaking eye contact, the woman lowered her face to Sweetie's pussy and began to suck on her clit. Sweetie cried out. She moaned. She panted.

The woman did not stop, she sucked Sweetie's little nub while ploughing the plastic cock in and out of her. Just when Sweetie thought it was too much, the woman started to use her tongue, flicking over and over against the swollen bud.

Sweetie was overwhelmed. The feelings were too much. Her orgasm was building, but it might not come in time, the stimulation might break her. But the feelings were so good she didn't want them to stop. She wanted to be good for Daddy's friend. Daddy's friend was so good to her. Could she be her Mommy? She always wanted a Mommy like this, someone who could make her feel good in her head, in her heart, and in her cunny.

The plastic cock was moving in and out of her so fast now it was just a blur of sensation. Mommy didn't break eye contact, she kept kissing and licking and playing with Sweetie just the way she liked. No one had ever made her feel this special. She wanted so bad to cum for Mommy.

Daddy had other ideas.

Daddy turned back from the bed and watched from behind the woman. He didn't break his gaze from Sweetie's wet cunt. He looked pleased, but also he looked dangerous. The look Daddy gets sometimes.

Daddy placed his hand on his friend's shoulder and almost immediately she retreated from Sweetie's pussy. The beautiful kisses on her cunt stopped.

The cock was inside her, but not moving.

"aaaaahahhhhhhhhhhh"

"I know Sweetie," Daddy said, "this is all for you."

With one quick pull the plastic shaft was gone and Sweetie's pussy was clenching at air. She'd never felt so empty in her life. Her head was thrashing back and forth and she was quietly moaning, "no no no no."

"Daddy isn't cruel, Sweetie, you know that."

And before her brain could register the words that he had said, the whole of his cock entered her in one stroke.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

She came right there. Daddy paid no mind and just stroked in and out at a swift pace. Withdrawing to the head and then pushing home again. Over and over. With each push Sweetie makes a gasp and Daddy makes a grunt.

Sweetie is just seeing stars now. She doesn't remember life before being this filled, and couldn't imagine ever being empty again. She'd rather die.

Slap-slap-slap-slap. Unh-unh-unh-unh.

Daddy's grunts got louder.

Sweetie couldn’t see her, but she felt her new Mommy between her legs. She felt a new intrusion in her bum. God, is that Mommy's finger? Oh god it feels so good.

Sweetie was fuller than she'd ever been. She was open, exposed, plugged and fucked and she never wanted it to end.

Daddy's started making a low growl. He was filling Sweetie so deep, she didn't know she could feel things there. Mommy's finger was deep enough that it pushed against Daddy's cock.

Daddy's growling became louder. He started breathing in gasps. His thrusts became violent and then

AAAAAAAAAAAAERRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHGH

Sweetie's cunt was overflowing with Daddy's cum. He didn’t stop pumping, he just pushed harder and harder, slamming into her. Sweetie was still restrained and pulled on the straps so hard she'd have bruises in the morning. Sweeties cunt clenched over and over again and she finally felt the release she craved. The orgasm came so quick it surprised her.

"Daddy! Daddy! Filllll meeeeee."

Daddy did keep filling her. He filled her as much as possible until her cunt couldn’t hold any more. Daddy finally stopped stroking and slowly pulled his cock from Sweetie.

Sweetie's new Mommy went back around to behind the chair and caressed her face. She left little kisses on her forehead and her cheeks. She made her feel as special as anyone had before. Sweetie was so exhausted and so overstimulated she briefly lost consciousness. Her head lobbed to the other side of the chair and she saw Daddy and his friend near the bed. Daddy's cock was in her friends mouth while she touched herself.

Daddy looked over and said, "Oh Sweetie, you're back. We have such a fun night planned, I hope you are ready."

'He's going to be good to you' oh fucking hell...I cant even decide what's the best part

I'm wet and needy and my pussy was clenching from every 'daddy' I'm this story. Using my little holes like this and being teased for like forever OMFG

I'm gonna tie my legs like this today and I'm gonna try to recreate it as good as I can...

I'm such a slut

[staycalmandhugaclone]

I saw one of your story posts mentioning you might take writing requests for trauma comfort... I've been struggling to write this story myself, and I'm looking for a particular flavor of comfort story.

Everyone seems to always latch on to how Hunter is so perceptive and notices things... but there's things he doesn't notice, even with all his sensitive senses. Particularly when there's not an actual immediate danger with a straightforward solution of "shoot it dead" or "talk to it"

Would you be willing to write something where Crosshair is the one to observe, first notice, and recognize tbe fact their new female member of the team, despite being a very active useful member, is tip-toeing around under the weight of past traumas? Then goes out of his way to take care of someone just as stubborn as he is.

I used to live with abusive housemates. While they weren't physically abusive, they were very creative in every other way of hurting their resident empath and later, attacking my whole family. It took me months after we finally kicked them out, for me to realize that i was literally tip-toeing in my own house afraid to make any noise and break tbe quiet, because i used to get badly berated for even small things like rolling in my office chair to my secobd desk while i did filing and paperwork. I didn't sing or play music for a long time, and i still find myself struggling to talk to people.

I like the idea that Crosshair would be the first to recognize long term behavioral patterns while Hunter is very fast in the uptake with someone who's state has changed in the moment.

You're under no obligation to settle this, of course, so please don't feel pressured! I just love the detailed and thoughtful, realistic way you handle writing about things like this.

My sweet darling, I am so sorry it's taken me so long to finish this. Your request became incredibly personal to me, and I both found myself inspired and struggling with how to respond! I'm honored you came to me with this request - I know how hard it is to admit to being hurt like that. Please be kind to yourself as you heal and know that I'm always happy to offer whatever support I can!

Sharp Eyes, Gentle Hands

Warnings: reference to past emotional abuse, fantasy profanity

WC: 2,253

The silence following the gentle hum of the ramp closing left me sinking beneath a deep sigh of relief. Wrecker had sought me out to say goodbye, and I’d peaked from the little kitchenette of the Marauder in time to wave to Hunter and Echo, but Tech and Crosshair were already out of sight. Still, I found myself treading lightly about the ship as I restocked supplies, updated the inventory manifest, and addressed minor maintenance needs that didn’t warrant Tech’s expertise.

This was the beginning of my second three-month tour with Clone Force 99. I’d been assigned to them as something of a secretary in the hopes of improving their less than ideal track record of finishing their paperwork, but had gradually taken on additional small tasks as time passed. While skeptical at first, the boys seemed to have begun warming to my presence, and I was too eager to maintain that trend, even if I was still only trusted to guard the ship during actual missions.

At present, that extra task consisted of reattaching a cabinet door in the storage room that Wrecker had been a bit too forceful with. After muscling it back into its original shape – mostly – all that was left was to screw it back in. I was so caught up in my work, I barely noticed the hum resonate through my chest, nor the moment that tone gradually gave way to murmured words until, just as I stepped back to appreciate my work, I found myself shamelessly singing aloud.

Satisfied, I gathered the tools and headed into the cockpit to return them. It wasn’t until the shouted gasp tore from my throat, body shying back so violently that I nearly slammed into the wall that I even noticed him. Crosshair wordless lifted an eyebrow at my reaction before returning his attention to the helmet in his hands, fingers skillfully toying with the internal gages as though nothing had happened.

“Um, sorry I-I didn’t realize you were still here.” The apology clawed stiffly up my throat, fire burning across my face. He didn’t bother looking at me as he merely responded with a disinterested grunt. Teeth gnawing against the inside of my lips as I vainly willed my heart to ease its panicked pace, I rushed to quietly place the tools back in Tech’s storage, shoulders tucking firmly about my chest.

“Why do you do that?” The words slipped from his lips almost as though he was talking to himself instead of me, but I balked at the silence that followed, fingers shifting nervously at my sides.

“Wh… do what?” The beginnings of an apology sat like poison atop my tongue, demanding to be voiced in the futile hope that it might defuse whatever confrontation was to come.

“If you’re that scared of us, why did you stay?” His arms crossed his chest, confusion just breaching the innate impatience in those sharp eyes.

“I-I’m not… um, I’m sorry you thought that, but I promise I’m not-” My words died the instant he stood from the chair, helmet laid forgotten atop the seat. My gaze instantly darted to the worn metal beneath us as that too-familiar dread locked around my chest, breaths carefully shallow, silent, lest even that somehow worsen whatever offence I’d already made. But he said nothing in the long seconds that followed, and, hesitantly, I stole a timid glance at him. His brow was cocked, but, still, he made no effort to lash out or reprimand me, merely waited for me to finally grasp his point, and my heart dropped.

“No - I’m sorry; it’s not…” The flurry of excuses tangled over my lips, the beginnings of a tremble just beginning to creep over me. “I’m not… I’m not afraid of you, I’m just… trying to stay out of the way.” I assured him, but he merely rolled his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, those frightfully intense eyes burring into me.

“You practically flatten yourself against the wall when we walk too close to you. You stopped eating the yellow ration bars after Wrecker mentioned they’re Hunter’s favorite, even though they’re your favorite, too. I don’t think you’ve ever instigated a single conversation unless it was to update a report, and even then you act like…” His teeth ground together, words suddenly falling silent. I’d felt myself sinking beneath every wretched observation, shoulders bunching around me, expression carefully blank; waiting.

“Look, I’m not…” When I risked another fleeting look up to him, I was shocked to see his glare turned pointedly away from me, jaw shifting stiffly around unspoken words. “You don’t need to… hide every time we’re in the same room.” The discomfort in the softness he was trying to force into his voice was obvious, but the simple fact that he was making an attempt left me speechless.

“Kriff, I don’t even know what I said that made you so damn timid.” A touch of that impatience returned, fingers snatching the toothpick from his lips, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me, and that made the guilt stirring in my chest all the more prominent.

“It… it wasn’t…” My hands drew together in front of me, thumb absently picking at my nails. “My-my last crew was… pretty strict with me.” I barely breathed the excuse, unable to risk meeting his eyes. “I just… I didn’t want to cause trouble here, too.” He leaned absently against the back of the co-pilot chair, watching me with a silence that left my skin crawling.

“You realize we share living space with Wrecker?” The skepticism in his blank statement wrenched a burst of laughter from me before I could rein it back, teeth clicking together even as my lips still pulled up into a small smile. For the briefest moment, something like relief seemed to flash through his eyes, and a sliver of that tension slipped from my shoulders.

“We’re not regs.” He continued dismissively. “Whatever osik they pulled with you isn’t how we operate here.”

“It wasn’t regs.” I felt myself tense for some reprimand in the face of my quiet correction, but he didn’t move, gaze watching me silently; waiting. “I was assigned to a mercenary battalion before this.” His head tilted back slightly, eyes narrowing. “That’s part of the reason I ended up here: I requested an assignment with a clone squad, but the regs don’t usually work with freelancers, so…” I motioned subtly toward him, shoulders drawing tight into my chest.

Crosshair was silent for a long moment, expression painfully unchanged. My mind raced for some way to anticipate what he was thinking – was he annoyed to learn the reason I’d ended up with them? Was he enraged that I feared the same treatment from his brothers that I’d received from the mercs? Was he completely indifferent?

Movements unrushed, void of the impatience I’d expected, he retrieved his helmet and started toward the ladder.

“Gonna do a patrol.” He explained, slipping on the bucket. “I’ll let you know when I’m back.” I couldn’t begin to fight the shock from my eyes, the silent gasp from my lips, immediately aware of his unspoken offer: he was giving me space; allowing me a moment to collect myself in the comfort of isolation… and I didn’t have to fret over not realizing when he returned…

“You should sing more often – Echo and Wrecker like that sort of thing.” Again, I found myself utterly frozen, jaw shifting uselessly around words I couldn’t begin to form, but he didn’t wait for a response. With a few swift movements, he was gone.

-

Things changed after that. Not with any grand or outwardly notable gestures, but it seemed to shift the very dynamic of the squad in the most subtle ways. It started with caf.

It was hardly unusual for the sniper to be the last to force himself into the kitchenette to join us, jaw ground against the early morning grogginess. I was just finishing the breakfast scramble as he trudged to the caf machine. Without a word, he set a steaming cup on the counter beside me before taking a seat with his brothers. I stared blankly at it for a moment, only then realizing that I’d fallen into the habit of waiting for the others to get their own cups before getting some for myself. When I stole a brief glance toward him, he showed no indication that he’d done anything abnormal, head tilted back against his chair with his eyes closed as though he might steal even a few seconds’ more sleep.

Then it was the arguing. Echo and Tech’s banter rarely escalated, but when it did, neither were innocent of resorting to shouting on occasion. I couldn’t remember what had prompted the latest disagreement, but their voices boomed throughout the entirety of the Marauder until even Hunter stepped in in a futile attempt to silence them. I’d made the mistake of treading into the cockpit just as things between them began to grow heated intending to merely return Echo’s power calibrator and quickly found myself frozen in the corner, waiting for a safe moment that wasn’t soon to come.

Long after the Sergeant had joined the fray, succeeding only in adding to the chaotic flurry of raised voices, Crosshair stormed down the ladder, brows pinched and lips wrenched into a scowl, but then he saw me, sharp eyes instantly noting the tool clutched in my grasp. Ignoring his brothers, he merely held his hand out to me, motioning for the device. I tried not to let him see the slight tremor in my limbs as I hesitantly placed it in his waiting palm. Saying nothing, he merely nodded toward the ladder. I was halfway through the porthole when I heard the loud thud followed by a shocked cry of pain, and, in the next breath: silence.

That was the last time any of them got into a shouting fit like that around me. Twice, just as tensions were beginning to rise, Hunter went so far as to conveniently find a reason to summon me. It didn’t take long to realize he’d caught on and was too willing to use my presence as an indirect means of quelling tempers. The second time, he shot me a knowing wink, and I found myself biting my lips against the fit of quiet laughter.

When we found a rare moment of calm, Crosshair pressed things a bit further. A fire crackled in the stillness. We didn’t have to return to Kamino for a few days, so we made camp beside a small lake, secluded in a forgiving wilderness. I barely noticed the lithe man lean toward Wrecker, lips shifting almost silently, but then his brother’s eyes shot open, excitement lighting his face.

“You can sing?!” My heart dropped, body instantly going stiff.

“…uh…” Caught, I could only stare at him in shock, gaze darting briefly to see the subtle smirk on the Sniper’s lips before the towering clone was talking once more, pleading.

“Will you sing somethin’?! We hardly ever get to hear music!” The refusal clawed at my throat, aghast at even the thought of denying the innocent delight in his request.

“Wrecker.” The warning in Hunter’s voice was enough to dampen the large man’s glee, and I found myself distraught to see his smile fade.

“M… maybe just one.” I agreed nervously, and the thrilled gasp it earned was nearly enough to ease the frantic racing of my heart. Echo and Tech glanced up curiously, and I had to pointedly ignore the feeling of everyone’s eyes watching me.

The first words left in something nearer to a whisper than a melody, but the hint of pride just threatening to shine in Crosshair’s gaze emboldened me in a way I would never have expected. By the second verse, I left the lyrics dance over my lips. My cheeks were still flushed, blood still pounding through my ears, but I couldn’t dismiss the simple joy as I took in the wonder in Wrecker’s face, Hunter’s quiet smile, Tech’s datapad lying forgotten beside him.

In the days that followed, I’d caught most of them occasionally humming the tune, and, more than once, found myself joining them with a shy grin.

That innate need to tuck into the wall as we passed each other slowly began to fade, but the next few times it happened with Crosshair, he wordlessly touched his hand to my arm and guided me upright. It was never a quick movement, the gentle pressure an invitation instead of an order, and each time, I found my heart racing long after he’d left.

After several weeks of those quiet moments, I intentionally bumped his shoulder with mine in a moment of frightful bravery. The look of pure shock in his suddenly wide eyes nearly sent me fleeing, certain I’d made a terrible mistake, but then his lips curled into grin, breath catching in a silent chuckle. His hand reached up to carefully ruffle my hair before he continued on his way.

It wasn’t perfect. I still found myself unable to find my voice unless someone else spoke first; felt that panicked dread if I set something down too loudly or made simple mistakes, but that fear faded quicker, my responses felt a little less meek as they drew me into quiet conversations more often. It wasn’t perfect, but the patience and kindness they offered allowed me to take those first steps toward making it better.

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[hater-reads]

Haunting Echoes of the Past - CHAPTER 4. The Calm Before the Storm

Gojo let him go. After all, Geto was already moving on, or so he thought.

Gojo started to put his life together, he found out that what he really wanted was to be a teacher, so he could protect kids like Geto; so, he could teach stupid kids -like he once was- to really be able to talk about their feelings and be strong enough to not fall into their families' expectations. Because he realized, his life had broken down in pieces because of him, his stupid choices, his family, and the cowardice that took over him back then. 

Now, he would have to work his ass off, like he never did. Surprisingly, life gave Gojo a chance. That university degree that he thought would be of no use, was a useful tool for his new life as a teacher. It took him a while to find a place, but thanks to old contacts he had met while studying, he was given a place at a high school a bit far from the city.

Despite the unseriousness with which he spoke, Gojo was good at his job. He respected the rules, and the students trusted him, they almost saw him as a friend. Thanks to that, he was beginning to feel a little less lonely. 

Yuta Okkotsu, one of his top students, said in his graduation speech that if he had been able to get this far, it was thanks to his teacher Gojo Satoru. Gojo was moved and he became fond of the boy. Even after graduating, the boy would email him to see how he was doing and ask if he wanted to go out for coffee sometime. Gojo accepted and discovered that Okkotsu was a more mature person than he thought he was, life had not been easy for him, and after a round of meetings, Gojo saw him as a friend. 

Life was flowing calmly for the first time in years. A calm and quiet life, yes, he was lonely, but he felt peace. Every so often, he dreamed of Geto and the memories of his youth. When this happened, he would drink some water and avoid sleeping, then spent hours looking at the sky. He felt that the moon and the starry night were as close as he could ever get to Geto again. It was okay for him. 

The years went smoothly, nothing big happened. A few more years working and then he could retire as a teacher, he thought. 

It was a day like any other, when a woman arrived at his office. He was sitting in his desk looking through papers when the woman walked in without asking. He knew who this was, almost like if he had already met her before, except he didn't. He could feel his essence coming from her. A slim woman with blonde hair, he would never have guessed that this was Geto's type. 

"Satoru Gojo." the thin woman said.

"Who are you?" he said, not caring. 

"I think you know very well who I am."

"I don't know why you came here, but I don't have anything do to with him anymore. I haven't seen him for ages."

"He's dying." said the woman with a serious tone, there was not a bit of humor in her voice.

Gojo felt his world stop. He stood abruptly and slammed his hands on the desk at the same time. 

"I'm not in the mood for jokes. Tell me why you are really here!"

He looked at the woman who had teary eyes, she wasn't joking, not in the slightest. 

This was not possible, Geto was a healthy person, he took care of his diet, and exercised, he was a little thin but nothing to worry about. How could he be sick? 

"What happened?" 

"He has a heart condition that the professionals barely noticed. He had a heart attack a few weeks ago. We thought he was getting better, but his heart became less and less responsive. I'm afraid there's not much they can do."

Things were serious. Gojo's body felt heavier and heavier, and his whole body ached with pain too hard to bear. He sat back in his chair, trying to process the sad news, he didn't speak for a while, it was hard to breathe. On another occasion, he would have asked her to leave, but this woman didn't even have his number. Talking about Geto now was the only thing they could do.

"Where were you, huh? He spends years of his life with you, and you are not even able to take care of him and realize that he is getting sick." Gojo said with a tone of both disdain and disgust.

"And what about you? That you let him go just like that. Think I don't know about you and him? The pain you put him through?" 

"His illness has nothing to do with me!" Gojo screamed.

"It does, you scumbag!" The woman lost her sanity. "I heard him mourn at night for years, during our marriage I had to hear him say your name in his sleep countless times, even if he cried or laughed, he always said your name!"

Gojo was speechless, how could Geto still think of him when he had a wife who loved him?

The woman kept touching her eyes, trying to stop the tears. 

"You know...we even have two daughters, two adorable girls who love him. And he loves them more than anything in the world. I thought that by giving him children he would be able to move on, but even now, I know he's looking for you in the crowd."

Gojo could imagine him, Geto was probably a loving and responsible father, he imagined him playing with his daughters, taking them to stores, his daughters probably playing with his hair. He imagined Geto playing with dolls, and he couldn't help but smile.

The woman continued, "I am married to him legally, but I suspect he was always married to you in soul. He has a void that I will never be able to fill."

Gojo didn't speak.

"I don't know how much longer he has left, if you want to do something good for once and say goodbye, this is the hospital where he is. The girls and I are with him every hour." The woman took a deep breath. "I hate you more than anyone, I hope you realize that. But I know that seeing you one last time will give him the peace to leave without regrets." said the woman as she left Gojo's office, without even looking him in the eye.

What was Gojo going to do now? His life was finally going as it should, but now that he was calm, that woman came with news that made him lose his mind. He was going to lose him, not for the first or second time, he was going to lose him forever. Only at that moment did Gojo realize how insignificant all those years of pretending to leave everything behind had been. Nothing made sense, there was no point in pretending that he lived well and that he had made peace with his past. He had not.

He always thought that he would leave this world before Geto, because seeing himself alone in a world where his Suguru did not exist was too painful to bear. So, he always thought that he would die and Geto would live a long and happy life, even if it was without him.

It was as if the world was coming to an end.

[lacrymatoryao3]

Redemption Was Just The Beginning

Chapter 3: September, 1899 (Continued)

[1] [2]

To the world, Arthur Morgan is dead. As he tries to face the idea, in a lush valley in Ambarino he comes face to face with a woman from his past, and they must reckon with an era long gone. Especially when she has secrets of her own.

(Rated explicit simply because eventually there’s smut in this.)

2,733 Words (AO3 Link)

Dr. Anderson was a woman. It surprised Arthur when she came into the bedroom adjoined to the kitchen with Ana. While he had heard of them, he had never actually met a ‘Lady Doctor’ as some people called them. He rarely saw doctors at all, but when he did the only women involved were either nurses or secretaries.

“Consumption, huh?” Dr. Anderson questioned, setting a medical bag nearly as big as she was on the dresser. She opened it and rifled through to get what she wanted.

Ana looked at Arthur snug tightly in the bed, “That’s what he says.”

“I see.” Dr. Anderson said out loud and putting her attention on Arthur, “Who did you get this diagnosis from?”

“Some doc down there in Saint Denis.” Arthur replied as Dr. Anderson put the end of a stethoscope underneath his shirt, moving it around to get a good listen of his lungs from multiple angles.

Dr. Anderson hummed, “Yeah? They do got quite the problem with that in those swamps. All that humidity.”

The doctor continued her examination, but while she investigated his ribs she pressed too hard on the muscle above his stomach. Arthur lurched forward and began to cough, hard and uncontrollably. Dr. Anderson grabbed a handkerchief and held it over his mouth. She encouraged him to let out whatever wanted to come up. Once the attack ended the doctor took a look at it, then put the handkerchief in a sealed metal box.

Dr. Anderson sighed, “I know that wasn’t pleasant, but with this sample I can look at it under a microscope at my office and see what’s really going on.”

“So,” Ana said, who had been sitting in a comfortable chair next to the bed, “do you agree it’s consumption?”

Dr. Anderson put her tools back into her bag, “To be quite honest? I’m not sure. Of course it’s a possibility with his symptoms, but at the same time he has injuries that make it harder to say for certain. Either way, his lungs are terribly congested. I’m going to give you a few things to keep him comfortable. Keep the windows open until the weather changes, he needs fresh air. Make sure he rests and doesn’t exert himself. Give him good food, good drink.”

The doctor rubbed her temples, “And if you think it’ll help make sure there’s a lot of garlic. I don’t really understand the idea people around here have about it, but since most almost swear upon it I don’t see the hurt.”

The doctor left them with two medicine bottles, one for pain and another for fever. She also gave Ana a medical syringe in case Arthur was unable to swallow. Ana followed the Dr. Anderson out, leaving Arthur with his thoughts for a while. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like feeling helpless or useless. There was no guarantee he would ever get better, he didn’t even try to entertain the idea. He would have preferred to die fighting the way he expected to, not like an old man bound to a bed.

“You dying, Mister?” A small voice squeaked from the doorway. Arthur looked at him, the boy peeking over the door jamb. He assumed from his dark hair and warm complexion he was the child Ana said she had. There was something peculiar to him, but Arthur couldn’t place it.

“Dunno yet.” Arthur replied a little too seriously than he intended, “When I am I’ll let you know.”

The boy scurried before they could say anything else to each other, hearing his mother’s voice. Arthur heard them muffledly speaking to each other in Spanish in the kitchen.

Ana returned to the room holding a wooden tray with legs, “You think you could eat for me? Mrs. Liang whipped it up. She says she’ll make you some sort of soup that should help you. Chinese medicine sort of stuff. I also made you a garlic tea.”

Arthur sat up a little further as Ana placed the tray on his lap, “Garlic… tea?”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. We use it Mexico for coughs and such.”

Arthur looked at the meal. It was a fillet of some sort of fish with a cause on it. When he tried it, despite not having much of an appetite, it was a type of horseradish with more garlic mixed in. Underneath was a pad of plain white rice. On the side there was a salad of red radish mixed with apple. The tea did have a faint taste of the garlic, but it was mostly overpowered by the taste of lemon and honey. It was an odd combination, a little bit fancy, but it beat the spartan concoctions Pearson would throw together.

Arthur managed to finish it, Ana lowering the kerosene lamp’s glow before she left to feed herself and her son. They tried to be quiet in the kitchen. He looked around the room, looking for something to entertain himself with. He opened the tiny drawer in the bedside table and leaned over to peer inside. He pulled out a book. It was a collection of short stories about that English detective written by a feller named Conan Doyle. Mary-Beth had told him about him once. He opened the book to find on a blank starter page ‘J. Gardener – Obtained 1894’ written in a weak and shaky hand. It wasn’t a long book, but the previous reader didn’t seem to get very far. A quarter of the way through it, Arthur found a cigarette card of a Sioux chief in full regalia that was used for a bookmark.

Arthur had read the first three stories when Ana came in the room. She had changed from her sage green blouse and black plaid belted skirt into her nightgown. She had taken her hair out of the high bun with a braided crown into a style Arthur was much more familiar with. Her hair was still very long, falling in waves down her back, just as thick and shiny as it had been when he had first met her.

“I forgot that book was in here. Good thing you found it.” Ana said, placing a leather-bound journal and pencil on the table, “I brought that for you. I remember you always doing something in one of those.”

She sat in the chair next to him, propping her feet on a matching ottoman and draping a blanket over her lap. She stared at him for a while, there was a warmth gleaming in her eyes, “I never thought I’d see you again.”

Arthur gave her a frail smile, “Too bad you had to see how old I’m gettin’.”

“It’s not so bad, and I’m not young anymore either.” Ana replied, leaning against the chair’s arm, “Tell me, everything I missed. What happened to the gang? Clearly something, or else you wouldn’t be here.”

Arthur hesitated, but eventually began the long story. First with all the people who joined after she had gone, the ensuing years. Then he got to Blackwater, and the downfall of everything. One disaster after another, the Pinkertons, Micah Bell, Dutch’s change. He got into how he learned he, supposedly, had tuberculosis and who and how he got it. Ana listened with her own whirlwind of emotions, especially when she found out how old Hosea and Susan had gone out. She had some solace in those who she remembered who did make it out like Uncle who never seemed to do much around the camps, or Pearson who tried his best despite the bland stews, or the fallen Reverend Swanson who enjoyed listening to her pray during the mornings. She was surprised about John. He was just a teenager when they had met, he a near feral child. To know he had a family, was something she never completely expected of him.

The conversation went well into the night. As the owls hooted through the open windows, Arthur’s eyelids started to become heavy. Once there was no more speaking, Ana watched him as he fell asleep. She watched him for a while. Anger ignited in her chest for him, at Dutch. She contemplated if she ever really knew him. He seemed so different those years in her past. To know what became of him, what he did to the man he raised from a boy, it astonished her. It didn’t seem right. And that Micah, whoever the hell he was. It was a good thing she hadn’t been there. Her temperament would have not cooled, she would have probably killed him the moment he said anything vulgar to her.

Ana sighed and got up from the chair. She draped the blanket over the back, taking one last look at Arthur with all the things she wished she could say. Her feelings were still the same, but the knowledge and understanding it would never be despite any new hopes were also. Still she gazed upon him, reaching down and pushing his hair away from his forehead. She muttered to him softly not to wake him, before leaving the room to retire to her own upstairs.

[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]

During the night, Arthur’s fever spiked. When Ana went to check on him, he was flailing about in the bed. Sweat drenched his body, his nightshirt, and sheets. Ana fetched a small bucket of water and rag she put into the ice box before she went to bed. She put the fever medicine Dr. Anderson gave her into the syringe and tapped the air out of it, stabbing the small needle into his neck but avoiding any veins. She dunked the rag into the bucket of cold water, wrapping it around his forehead. She held him, waiting for it to break. He grasped wildly at anything he could grab whether it was her nightgown, which he pulled with a ferocity that the seams began to rip, or her hair tumbling down her back until she cried out in pain. Still, she held him tightly as he screamed and carried on in whatever delusional dream possessed him.

Through his anger, “MICAH! YOU RAT BASTARD! I SHOULDA LET YOU SWING IN STRAWBERRY! YOU DAMNED US! SOLD US OUT!”

Through his pain, “Dutch… Dutch, how could you do this…? You were like a father… And Hosea… You called me your son… Why? After all them years? Why?!”

Through his sobs, “Mary… Oh, Mary! I’m so sorry!”

Ana couldn’t stop herself from wincing at the last one, feeling like a knife cut through her heart.

After an eternity the medicine and the cold rag worked, leaving Ana feeling like she had just been through a battle. She examined her wounds, bruises on her arms and scratches on her back, and gown torn beyond repair. She laid him back in the bed, knowing in the morning she would need to change the sheets but too exhausted to bother right at the moment. She tucked him into the blankets tightly, lying down on them next to him. She brought his head to her chest, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and neck. It didn’t take sleep long to take her once she closed her eyes.

[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]

At first Arthur slept without much in terms of dreams. Then came a heat that burned like he was in the hottest pit of Hell. He opened his eyes to flames surrounding him. He couldn’t seem to escape them no matter what direction he moved in, fire licking his skin and threatening to consume him. In the blaze he saw faces and then their full forms. They surrounded him. Micah, that potbellied prick with that displeasing smug grin on his lips under his disgusting mustache and twinkle in his beady eyes covered by his stringy blond hair. Dutch with that unfeeling stare that had grown colder and colder by the time he abandoned Arthur on that cliff near Beaver Hollow. Mary, the most painful of all, the same expression on her beautiful face when he refused to run away with her. He tried to shout back at them, but to his ears no sound came out. He crumbled in front of them, their visages fading from him, leaving him in a pitch black void.

In front of him appeared a bright white light. He hesitated going towards it, until his eyes adjusted. It was the opening of a cave, leading to a meadow bathed in a golden glow. Instead of comfort he felt dread, like the other times before the world had turned that color. He walked towards the exit given to him, bracing himself for what he was going to see.

Surely enough, there it was. In a tall patch of grass alongside a stream fed by a waterfall, a magnificent white-tailed buck stood. It stared at him, unaffected by his approach. Arthur reached out to it, the deer sniffing at his hand and stepping away. It then looked past him. Sensing something else nearby, Arthur looked over his shoulder. Lounging calmly on a rock there was a cougar. Arthur knew how cougars usually were, strong and dangerous. They would attack without being heard or seen until it was too late. To see one act in such a way unnerved him.

The cougar stretched its slender body, loping down from the rock to the buck. It stood between it and Arthur. He expected to see it attack, but instead the cougar affectionately against the buck. The cat purred and groomed it, further confusing Arthur. He was aware this was another of his visions, he had had them when he learned he was dying, but this time he was unsure what the meaning held.

The cougar grunted. It walked towards the waterfall, looking back as if expecting him and the buck to follow it. The buck bounced behind the cat’s body, both animals disappearing under the cascading water. Arthur took a deep breath, stepping under the heavy shower.

The sudden coolness struck him, bringing him back to reality. He opened his eyes. He was still alive, lucky for another time. He felt a cool rag on his head and tightly in Ana’s arms. Arthur looked up to her face. Whatever had happened, the trouble was written on her sleeping face. He truly didn’t understand it all, how it led from the acceptance of dying and dying alone at that, to this. He out his head back onto her breast, finding comfort in her warm and strong heartbeat.

[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]

“I’m mighty sorry, Anie.” Arthur spoke as he watched Ana, still in the nightgown he ruined, strip the bed in the morning after breakfast and turning the cotton filled mattress over to the dry side from the armchair she sat him in.

“You have nothing to be apologetic over.” Ana replied, putting new linens on the bed and replacing the pillows, “It was a rough night. Until you came out of it I was almost sure I was going to lose you.”

She tucked the bottom blanket sheet into the foot board, covering it with a new quilt. She smoothed them with her hands before folding them into a triangular shape so Arthur could get back in when he was ready and stacking the pillows on top of one another so his head could stay comfortably elevated. She went over to him, helping him pull off his sweaty nightshirt. She put a fresh and clean on him after shaving his face, combing his hair, and washing him up with a damp cloth.

“I shoulda died out there. I don’t deserve any of this…” Arthur muttered when she tucked him in the bed.

Ana sighed. She started softly stroking his hair, the look on her face one of concern and sadness, “You let me be the judge of that for now, Arthur Morgan. All I want you to worry about is to get better.”

After Ana was dressed a man knocked on her door, handing her a telegram from Dr. Anderson. The slip of paper read:

‘Examined sample from gentleman in your care = Found no evidence of mycobacterium tuberculum (consumption) = Patient however has severe lung infection = Continue treatment recommendations = If advances send me again = If not will visit in a month’s time = Dr S M Anderson M D.’

[timptoe]

The Longest Night

Tonight is the longest night of the year, and this has been a very, very long year for me. For lots of reasons, I haven't been able to write for the last six months. And then suddenly, last week, it came back. So I have two pieces. This first one has taken me an entire year to write. Kaidan holds vigil after Virmire on the longest night.

Because sometimes you don't know if the light's going to come back, and all you can do is wait.

Read it on Ao3.

---

When the sun is nearly blinding May you by it see everything As it was meant to be A wonder extraordinary Made to wander free and fearlessly Unto all eternity

Because death has lost already  - The Arcadian Wild, “A Benediction”

—

The candle flickers alone on the table.

He knows that this is against regulations. Alliance Naval Code 1493.4B, Kaidan thinks. Open flames are a safety hazard onboard all Alliance craft and are restricted to engineering purposes only with supervision. He knows the book back-to-front, committed the whole thing to memory before basic ended. He knows he shouldn’t be doing this. 

He just can’t bring himself to care.

It’s only been a few days since Virmire, but it feels like a lifetime since the last time he saw her. The cocky smirk on her face as she rushed off to report to Kirrahe and his squad, as if she’d won a prize and he’d lost. The click as she secured her helmet in place, now seeming all too ominous in its finality. Her lazy wave as he boarded the Normandy to secure the bomb, her fingers curling slightly as she disappeared from sight.

He wonders what Ashley would think about him using her candle like this. If she had been saving it for a special reason, or maybe had been a memento from her civilian days. He wonders if it had had any particular significance, why it had even been in her locker in the first place. He wishes he could ask her.

But he can’t.

Kaidan stares into the candle’s flame, turning those last moments over and over and over in his mind for the hundredth time in the last two days. Setting the timer on the bomb. Making peace with his imminent death. His stomach dropping as Ashley radios, “Screw that! We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko.” Falling to the geth as they swarm the dropsite. Feeling his heart beat quicker when Shepard picks him up. Realizing that Shepard is saving him.

His eyes flick up to the door of the CO’s quarters on the far side of the mess, then quickly back down. The guilt at that last is almost as strong as the grief. He stares deep into the candle, searching for something. Answers. Absolution, maybe. 

Nothing comes.

The candle gutters for a moment, the slight hiss of the medbay door changing the air pressure in the mess. Soft footsteps approach, stopping a few meters away.

“Lieutenant.”

He scrubs his eyes before turning and acknowledging the asari with a nod. “Dr. T’Soni. You’re up late.”

She gives him a half smile. He’s still not familiar with asari physiology, but he suspects he knows what the slight discoloration around her eyes means. “I am finding it difficult to sleep.” The smile fades as she glances at the candle. “I do not wish to disturb you, though.”

Kaidan shakes his head and gestures to a chair. “Not at all. I couldn’t sleep either.”

Liara has a seat, and they sit in a soft silence for a while.

“It’s hers,” he murmurs into the stillness after a time. Liara doesn’t say anything, just looks his way. “The candle. It’s Ashley’s. I found it this morning when I was packing up her locker to send her stuff home. It was…” He trails off.

“You took it?”

He shifts in his seat. “It wasn’t on the manifest. Everything we bring onboard is supposed to be declared and written down. Alliance Naval Code 3120.32D, part 5.1.40b,” he recites from memory, “The division officer maintains a permanent file of itemized, descriptive inventory sheets for any personally owned tools, materials or equipment authorized to be brought on board.”

“Impressive,” Liara says with a slight curl to her lips.

Kaidan half-bows in his chair. “I do have a reputation to uphold.”

She gives him a sidelong glance. “Ashley told me once that you sleep with your regulation book under your pillow.”

“Those books are softer than our pillows,” he replies, the ghost of a smile pulling around his lips at the memory of a well-worn argument. “I just can’t believe she actually had contraband in her locker all this time.”

“Really?” Liara smiles softly. “Because that’s entirely in keeping with what I know about her.”

Kaidan chuckles. It feels good to laugh a little, but the sound dies quickly, swallowed by the darkness in the empty room. After a moment, in a small voice, he says, “I miss her.”

“I do, too.” She pauses, then tilts her head. “Then why burn her contraband, instead of keeping it?”

He sighs again, carding a hand through his hair. “It’s silly, really. I…” He stops, not sure how to explain.

“I apologize, Lieutenant, I did not mean to—“

“It’s the longest night,” he says abruptly. “Tonight. Back home, I mean.” Liara gives him an encouraging nod that seems only slightly baffled. “It’s a tradition of sorts. Religious, kind of, but not really, I guess.” He falls silent, unsure how to continue.

Liara gazes thoughtfully at him. “Tell me about it.”

He looks back at the candle, the tips of his ears feeling hot. The words come, unbidden. “My family aren’t religious, not like Ashley’s,” he begins. “Just not something my parents ever really cared about. Except once a year. There was this little chapel down the road from our cabin in the Canadian interior. We’d go to the cabin for school break every winter. December in the interior is…beautiful. High drifts of soft snow, evergreen trees dusted with the stuff. And at night, the stars mix with the aurora the create this sight that just…takes your breath away. Magical, to a kid.”

His head thrums with the memory. “Anyway, this chapel we’d go to was always decorated for Christmas. Ah, uh, old Earth holiday. Weirdly, we never went for Christmas Eve service, or any other service. But Mom always insisted we go to the one held for longest night.

“The chapel always started out dark, and quiet. Never a lot of people, maybe because it was rural, maybe because it was sort of depressing. The choir would sing quiet songs, and the pastor would say a few words, but he’d always end with some verse that says, the people walking in darkness have seen a great light. And then…”

He closes his eyes briefly, the sense memory intimately overwhelming. “People would start getting up, one by one, and lighting the candles around the walls. In memory of loved ones. In hopes for others. I just liked the act of lighting them when I was a kid, watching the fire, you know? And little by little, the whole chapel would just be…filled with light. Blazing, reflecting off the stained-glass, warming up the whole space. It was incredible. Always made my mom cry,” he chuckles, scrubbing at his face again. “And the pastor would send us out with the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness will not overcome it.”

Liara sits with that for a long moment, staring into the candle. Kaidan doesn’t say anything more.

After a while, she says softly, “It is a beautiful ritual.”

Kaidan ducks his head.

“Would it surprise you to learn that the asari have a similar ritual?”

He raises an eyebrow. “It would.”

She gives him a small smile. “The siarists tell a story gleaned from one of the older religions about the goddess Athame. The ritual involves the lighting first of one flame, then dozens, and finally hundreds as an echo of the goddess’ words in the story.”

“What did she say?” he asks.

She pauses for a moment, collecting herself. Then, in a soft voice, she says, “Once, when the world was new and the asari were still young, there was a time when the days grew shorter and the nights grew longer, until there was nothing but night.

“Then, the goddess Athame descended from the heavens. She brought with her all the tools for civilization: knowledge, wisdom, empathy, courage. But strangely, she did not bring with her the light.

“The people asked her, ‘Athame, goddess of all that is—why have you gifted us with so much, and yet not given us the light?’

“And Athame answered, ‘My children, I have done better than return to you the light. I have gifted you the tools to beat back the darkness. For the light comes and goes, but the darkness is everpresent. So grow, my children, and learn what you must so that you might one day push back the darkness and herald light’s return.’”

Liara falls silent. After a moment, Kaidan says in a voice thick with emotion, “That, um. That certainly…resonates.”

Liara gives a soft chuckle. “Early in my studies, I encountered a Prothean story tablet—fragments really, so much had been lost to the Reapers. But the tablet fragments together told a tale quite similar to the one the asari tell about Athame.”

“How is that possible?” Kaidan says, furrowing his brow.

Liara shrugs. “I asked something similar of the Matriarch advising me, Dr. P’Ropp. She said, every culture across species recognizes that darkness is inescapable. We do not know if the light is coming back when the night falls. We hope for it, we might even pray for it, but we do not know. We cannot. All we can do is wait.”

She sighs heavily. “And so…we wait for the light.”

His eyes flick up to Shepard’s door again, and then back down.

“You should go to him,” Liara says quietly.

Kaidan is instantly tense, his eyes going wide as he looks over to meet her gaze. 

“I am sure he would appreciate the comfort, too. And the company.” The smile she gives him makes his heart beat quicker again. Another rush of guilt follows.

Kaidan shakes his head, blowing out a shuddering breath. The candle gutters. “Not…um, not from me.”

“Kaidan—“

“I’m the reason she died.”

He cuts her off quietly, but his words echo in the nearly-empty mess like a shout.

“I forced the choice. I forced him to choose. I armed the bomb, I set the timer. I— I forced him.” He takes a breath, trying to keep his voice steady. “He thinks her death is her fault, because of course he does. That’s who he is. He doesn’t fail, but she—“ His breath hitches. “She died. He thinks it was his fault, but it’s not. It’s mine. It’s mine.” His voice breaks, any words that might’ve come next dying in his throttled throat.

“Ashley’s death is not your fault,” Liara says firmly. She takes his hand in hers and squeezes gently. “It is not.”

He doesn’t deserve the kindness in that simple touch. He hates himself that he can’t bear to take his hand away.

Liara doesn’t let go, squeezing his hand more insistently. “I have not known the Commander as long as you have, but I do not get the sense he is one who blames his friends unfairly. Ashley’s death was not your fault. Any more than Benezia’s was mine.” She says this last with less conviction, as if she’s said it to herself before, as if it in the repetition it might become true.

“It’s not,” he says shakily. He clears his throat, then says again, more emphatically, “It’s not.”

“No,” she replies, “it is Saren’s. And I know he knows that.” She glances back at the door across the way. “Shepard knows that.”

Kaidan turns back to watch the flicker of the candle’s flame. “I can’t face him. Not…not yet.” There’s a wealth of meaning buried in those spare, halting words. 

“So then…we wait,” she says quietly.

“‘We’?”

She nods. “We.”

He takes another shuddering breath, then nods back. She just squeezes his hand once more.

They sit in companionable silence for a long while, lost in their own thoughts and memories, bathed in the warm glow of a friend’s contraband candle.

Waiting for the light.

[voidselfshipp]

Shatterdome Shenanigans

Cw: mentions of being drunk, alcohol, mild swearing.

Summary: moments that happened during/after the movie in which the shatterdome residents were unhinged/ or soft moments that were never shown in camera. (Because yes. My s/I is cannon, they just cut out all of her cool and cute scenes)

A/n: my lovely friend tex encouraged me to write about my s/I so I decided to make some scenes that could happen during/after the movie.

->only mutuals allowed to reblog.

♡lovely taglist: @tex-treasures @mercuryships @malewifepatrickbateman

--Okay but whose fucking brilliant idea was to name that cat V kaiju "slattern" ?-- Jerico asked, beer bottle in hand.

The people present look at tendo, who only shrugs and takes a sip from his drink-- it was me, and you were there! You heard stacker going "call it slattern if you must"

--i KNOW but what was going through your head when you saw slattern?!

--i was more worried about the hunk of flesh that that kaiju was rather than "oh how should I name it!" I said "the bitch is big" and then Pentecost came with his politically correct speech about "call it slattern if you must!"

Chuck, who was also present, side hugged Jerico pulling her closer-- wasnt Slattern on the offical report too? Yer tellin' me the Word "slattern" is in an official PPDC document?-- he asked after taking a swig of his beer.

--Yup-- tendo replied.

--I think I signed it ,too-- herc replied.

The table erupts with drunk laughter, jerico is curled over the table smacking it with her fist, Chuck is holding his stomach, head thrown back, Herc is biting down on his fist holding back laughter (And failing miserably), And tendo is Rolling his eyes between chuckles.

Silently, Stacker pentecost observes his finest PPDC members trash talk him. He sighs and mutters-- im workin' with children -- but inwardly, he found the whole slattern situation incredibly funny, he could remember the faces of the higher Ups reading the report incredibly baffled.

《♡♡♡♡♡》

Its a nice and quiet morning in the shatterdome, everyone got to sleep in, Andd finally tendo got a proper eight hours of rest.

Its silent, aside from the whirring of tools and the bustle of mingling workers and jaeger repairs.

Peace, something that the shatterdome hasnt felt in a good while.

Peace, that is disturbed as a cackling Chuck is being chased by a very angry jerico-- yOU ATE THE LAST SLICE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

--I was just having brekkie babe!-- Chuck yelled back, barely evading the pillow jerico was using to plummet him-- bloody hell!

--BREKKIE MY ASS!. CHUCK HANSEN VENI PARA ACA QUE TE VOY A HACER MIERDA!-- (Chuck hansen come here ill kick your ass!) She yelled, throwing the pillow again and hitting him square in the back of the neck, making him let out an "oomf" sound.

The technicians only sighed deeply, some things never change.

《♡♡♡♡》

--Are all those cups of coffee for you?-- jerico asked leaning on the kitchen counter.

Tendo, who had sneaked into the Shatterdome's kitchen, was holding maybe four cups, two on each hand plus a donut to munch on-- Pentecost wants me on overwatch until we make sure nothings gonna come out again, and after pitfall Ive been sleeping like dogshit...sorry honey, I know you dont like me doing these things

Jeri sighed, pressing a kiss to his lips, which he gladly returned, awkwardly hugging her waist-- let me Carry some for you, then?

He nodded and handed him two mugs, and while hes distracted she takes a bite from his donut.

--Hey wait a minute! Somebody stole a bite from my donut!-- he exclaimed looking at her.

--Oh thats a crime!-- jeri said playing dumb

He raised a brow with a smirk on his face -- wonder who did it

--Dont you mean who DONUT it?

He snorted and rolled his eyes-- alright you...

She helped him Carry his worrying ammounts of coffee towards LOCCENT, once there, he sets them down on a nearby table and he sits on his Office chair.

--This Seat taken?-- jerico asked.

--Doll ,thats my lap?

--Did I stutter?

He chuckled and patted his thigh-- no ma'am

Jeri sat on his lap and he hugged her waist-- ya dont gotta Keep me company

--Ill stay for a bit

--I dont think ill be able to get anythin' done with you around -- he teased.

--Too bad

Jerico did eventually leave to sleep like normal people do, but not before kissing her boyfriend good night and bring him another donut.

By the time morning arrived and nothing came through the now closed breach, tendo reached his bedroom and barely had any energy to change and lay down.

He noticed his girlfriend asleep with one of his shirts, he chuckles and pulls her against his chest, spooning her.

Finally, he could get some well deserved rest.

《♡♡♡♡♡》

--I still cant Belive you two considered jumping off of S.E, hes what?, 250 feet tall? Are you guys out of your mind?!

--Okay look-- Chuck started, speaking like a kid who was caught doing something he shouldnt-- we were good as dead up there and there was nothing we could do

--But we werent going to actually jump!-- Herc explained with his hands up.

--i saw you looking down at the sea-- she noted.

--Yeah well...

Like father like son, both just looked away, slouching and smiling nervously.

Jerico pulled them close for a hug, and they hugged back.-- you dont have to worry about us-- Chuck whispered caressing her hair.

--it wouldnt be the dumbest thing we've done

--I know.. its just..- Youre telling me youve done dumber things than considering jumping from a 250 ft robot?

--uhhhhhh

--How are you still alive?!-- she asks.

--Dunno-- Chuck admitted.

《♡♡♡♡♡♡》

Raleigh was quietly working out, doing push Ups in his room while jerico sat on his back, she was way lighter than him but the added Weight could be felt.

-- once i heard someone describe you as "an annoying cowboy" -- jeri commented, drinking from her tea and Reading the news on her phone.

--Thats a good way to describe me -- he agreed.

--I preffer handsome cowboy-- she flirted.

--Oh so you think im handsome?

--My Man, we've been dating for a couple of years now, of course I think youre handsome

He laughed-- I remember you being the envy of the world, dating me and my brother

Jerico flicked him on the back of his head-- dont let it get to your head, becket

-- hey!-- he exclaimed-- mean

--Love you too

Raleigh laughed, shaking his head-- love you too, honey

《♡♡♡♡》

Chuck sighed, working on striker eureka's repair was hard work.

He was hungry, maybe he should get something to eat...

Wiping the sweat off of his brow, hes about to stand up when he feels something slap his bicep-- hey handsome-- jeri said, sitting besides him-- lunch

She handed him a sándwich wrapped in plastic, so that was what she used to hit him

--Brought you cold water and lamingtons

--Why havent I married you yet?-- he asked taking the food and unwrapping his lunch.

-- baby we are married though?-- she showed him the ring.

--Yeah but i mean, a Real wedding? One that is officiated by someone else than tendo?

--once the shatterdome is shut down we can have our wedding

He nodded pulling her closer-- nothing more romantic than eating lunch infront of a 250 FT robot

--Youre always so thoughtfull

--Ah well, I try my best, Cheers

Both of them clinked their sandwiches toghether-- cheers!-- jeri squeals.

As far as she was concerned, this was a perfect date.

《♡♡♡♡》

--Herc! Im bored!-- jerico said, making some snacks for her and her boyfriend.

--Hello,bored,im herc-- herc replied, not looking up from the lovely paperwork stacker had given him.(sarcasm intended).

--Haha, so funny-- she set the plates on the desk and sat on his lap.

The Man looks up and grabs one of the snacks eating from it-- I know, im hilarious

--And then you wonder where Chuck's asshole behavior came from -- jeri teased.

--Mean -- herc simply replies.

She sticks her tongue out and both just stare at eachother,to then laugh and resume what they were doing.

Some hours later, jerico decided to do something about her boredom, grabbing one of the old tape players herc had and turning it on,deciding to slide in a cassete tape labeled " 60s music".

Soft music started to play, slow rythm and with a jazzy feel to it.

Herc barely registers it as hes neck deep in work.

--Oh what lovely music, shame I dont have someone to dance with!-- she exclaimed with fake sorrow, the back of her hand on her forehead and the other on her chest-- if only there was a handsome ranger around here to dance with!

The Man turns to her and raises a brow-- sorry honey, these documents are important

--herc! Youve been working on them all day! Cmon!

He sighed and stood up, taking one of her hands in his-- fear not,your ranger has arrived-- Hercules decided to play along, because the alternatives werent as fun

--My hero!-- jeri exclaims, putting one hand on his shoulder while his free arm held her waist.

Both rock back and forth, her face on his chest, his chin on the crown of her head.

They danced along to the rythm, quiet and domestic bliss.

He spins her around and pulls her back to him, their faces Inches away-- hey~ -- he flirts.

--hey...-- she whispers.

--mind if I kiss ya?-- herc asks with a low voice.

--Go on ahead, ranger

He kisses her, holding her Gently but tightly against him, and she gladly kisses back, hugging his neck.

That paperwork could surely wait.

《♡♡♡♡》

--And then the bastard says that I dont have a girlfriend!-- newt exclaims while sitting on his girlfriend's lap-- can you Belive it? So of course I pulled out my phone and showed him a picture of you! Chau wad talking shit!

Jerico laughed, ruffling her boyfriends hair-- well, youre adorable, how couldnt you get a girlfriend?

--i am so lucky to have you though...Nerdy, intelligent, curious? Its like we are made for eachother! -- he squealed, pressing his forehead against hers.-- love you, baby

--Love you too, babe

He gave her a gentle kiss before asking-- wanna hear something cool I found out about kaijus?

--Uh yeah???? Of course!

And off he went to infodump on his New discovery. Oh how much jerico loved newt.

《♡♡♡♡♡》

--Youre such a stick in the Mud-- jerico told stacker while they were baking.

--Stick in the Mud? Really?-- he asked, bumping her with his hip.

--Yeah! You never laugh, or make jokes...you even chastisied tendo because he called slattern a big bitch!

--Well we were at work! He cant just say things like that-- pentecost tried to defend himself.

--stick. In. The. Mud. -- jeri repeated sounding very sure of herself.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the icing he was using to decorate the cookies and putting some on his finger, to then boop his companions nose leaving icing all over It.

She gasps and turns to her, but then a cloud of flour hit her-- sTACKER!

pentecost laughs but then flour hits him in the face.

--Thats how its going to be huh?-- he challenged and soon a flour war was started.

The shatterdome's kitchen staff looked at the pair in disbelief. Soon more people joined to watch the spectacle as stacker chased jerico around the kitchen, both holering with laughter and child like joy.

Pentecost ended up catching jeri, squeezing her like a plushie and laughing alongside her.

They did finish the cookies however, and after cleaning the mess they made, both enjoyed them in the comforts of stacker's room.

Stacker Pentecost was a Man that didnt allow himself a lot of joyous or child like moments, but when he did, not only were they a thing to behold but also incredibly worth it.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"FAIR SLEUTH TRAILS THIEVES IN STORE," Toronto Star. July 11, 1933. Page 2. ---- Negotiates Arrest of Astute Shop-Lifters After Chase ---- Magdaline Halac and William Buhack, charged with stealing 8 ladies' dresses, one kimona, slip, pair of shoes, 1 sets of underwear. bathing cap and various other articles from a downtown store were remanded in custody for sentence on July 18 by Magistrate Patterson in women's court today.

"I saw the lady take a dress off the rack and hold it up." said a woman store detective. "The man worked in behind her and took another dress off the rack, and slipped it under his cost which he held folded over his arm. Then the lady put the dress she was using to shield the man back on the rack and they both walked away. I followed them."

The trail led all over the neighborhood, through streets, stores, offices, elevators, stairs, around corners and into wash-rooms, she said. The accused were finally arrested by three store detectives and turned over to Detective Black.

"They also paid a visit to the bathing suit counter where the man again put a stolen suit under his coat while shielded by the woman." testified another store detective.

A colorful exhibit of the stolen articles occupied a large space in court.

"This woman is the mother of six children," said defence counsel. "She was only a tool in this man's hands. He takes full blame."

"She was a very able assistant." commented her worship.

"The man has been convicted for shop-lifting before in Windsor," said the crown. "Full restitution must be made," said the bench.

"Very Jealous" "He picked up a chair and wanted to hit me over the head with. Another day he strangled me before my daughter. He said he would kill me if I locked my door. He's jealous of everyone," claimed a little Scottish lady, charging her husband with assault.

"She keeps nagging me until I can't stand it any longer." pleaded accused.

"If you leave drink alone you won't have any trouble," said the bench. "You will sign a bond to abstain from all alcohol and keep the peace for six months and you will be under the supervision of this court for that period."

Jean Clark, convicted last week of keeping a resort, was sentenced to 3 months at the jail farm.

Glen Russell, appearing for sentence on a vagrancy charge, was put on probation for six months, having secured transportation to her home up north.

"A Scotsman gave me a bottle of wine and I got drunk," claimed a ruddy-faced man charged with beating his wife and daughter. He was remanded in custody for sentence on July 18.

Found drunk on Elizabeth St.. Georgina Westbrook was sentenced to three months at the jail farm. It was her second offence.

Mary Naster, on a vagrancy charge, was remanded to July 18 for mental examination.

"Scratched Like Cat" "She scratched me like a wild cat", claimed Edna Howcombe, charging Mrs. Phillip Warnett with assault.

"She came in for a minute for the washtub and insisted on having it. I said I had as much right to it as anyone. We live in the same apart- ment house. Then she called me the worst names."

"Not so much assault as insult then," said the crown.

"No. I still have the scratch marks on me."

The matron testified that complainant had long deep scratches on her arms and in the face.

"She tried to slap me," claimed accused, "I had the washtub and she asked me for it. I said I would give it to her in a couple of minutes.

Accused was bound over in the sum of $50 to keep the peace for six months.

"He hit me in the face with his fist. Then somebody cracked me over the head with a stick. I've been to the doctor's three time. His wife had a broomstick. I don't remember what she did because he knocked me silly first," claimed Mary Paska, charging her neighbor, William Babayaka with assault.

"My boys and theirs were in the yard. Then the woman came out and called me bad names."

"She threw a pail and a rake at me. Then she threw a bottle at me later. But she missed every time," smiled the accused.

"I was sitting quietly on my back bench when some rubbish came over the fence. I tried to telephone, and when I came out again complainant was raising the dickens with my wife. I said: 'What's going on here?" She says: 'I'll show you.' That's when she started throwing things at me. Then the police came and told me to hand back all the things she had just thrown at me. I asked her: 'Is this your rake?" She says: 'Yes. So I gently gave it to her. No, I never hit her over the head or anywhere."

Both parties were bound over to keep the peace for six months.

[varnishstaineddesk]

My dreams are almost nightmares of a home my grandparents used to have, and a place my father used to live in until his sister died and then the dog and the whole lot was swiftly sold and never spoken of again.

It was four storeys high, right next to the sea and on stormy days the sea would swell up to the road and lash onto the very edges of the hedgerow that kept that sharp cliff hidden. I was always told the house timbers always belonged to a ship, so it made sense to me that it was next to the sea. There was an inn at the end of the road on the same level as the sea and I remember always thinking of how close it was, and worrying on stormy days that I would hear that the place would be swept away. I never walked to the village, but I always walked to the church, and to the graveyard where I saw the grave of a thirteen year old boy that had drowned in the sea. How fitting, I thought, that he was buried in a grave next to the sea that took his life, and wondered if his grave had been swept away in the storms that had uplifted parts of the graveyard and had bones scattered across the flooded roads.

Although it was my grandparents house, my memories never came from when they were living in it, but from when they were gone. My grandmother had gone first, and my grandfather left soon after. Heart break, my mother had said when she thought I was not listening. They loved each other enough I believed it. My grandfather was always his emotions, my grandmother was the calm one.

Though they were gone, buried in the plot behind the house in fields that were abandoned soon after they died, the house was a mausoleum that never quite left my mind.

My father moved into the house too large for him and my aunt stayed in the house next door. The house next door was altered for who lived there, but my father changed nothing. Once he put together the circular window in memory of his mother, and the small statue outside the house for his father, it was a place left relatively untouched.

I cannot remember my grandparents, only their traces.

The room my brother and I used to share had a window that looked either up into the abandoned fields where my grandparents were buried, or down into the tiny paved garden where a small pond sat, my grandfather having always said there was a frog there (though I never saw a frog). A wrought iron spiral stairway linked the two, but I had always been afraid of it for it rattled when I climbed it; clearly not meant for clumsy feet.

There were places in the house that I never stepped into if I could avoid it. The basement was one of these. My father used to work in the office, but I always knew it as my grandfather's office. His name was written on the plaque after all, and I always saw his tools and his papers, his books, his chair.

My new room (new because I was older and needed to stop sharing a room with my brother) was not somewhere I felt comfortable staying in. When it was night, I closed my eyes, pressed my back against the wall, and did not leave. I knew there were no ghosts, but it did not feel right to move at night knowing that the room next to me belonged to my grandmother.

I ventured in once, the distinct musty scent of lavender perfume. It was still sat on the vanity, unfinished and a thin film of dust on the glass. I tried it once, and did not like the smell. I opened drawers, and found an abandoned hairbrush. Comb. More perfume. A closet with only three items of clothing remaining, none of them fitting me for I was always build a little broader than her.

They spilled outside of abandoned rooms.Teapots that stretched atop every cupboard, each unique and odd in their style, odd cartoons around doors rusted tight, a portrait of my grandmother that followed with solemn eyes, eyeless masks that made up the entirety of a back wall, a clock that never ticked right when it was knocked down, umbrellas and canes never used, books never opened, a chair never sat in, trinkets sat in places they were set in and never moved from, dolls stored away in cupboards. A shuttered garage with a white door that vines curled around, a balcony further down the cliff edge where a table and chairs had been left that I only found out about as I wandered down neglected steps to collect pebbles from the beach.

A place not haunted, but marked by its absence of what was once there.

I have never stopped dreaming of the place. Perhaps I am a ghost latched onto it. I always drift back to the window that looked out to sea, ferries to Ireland passing by, the blinking light of a distant bouy flickering through barely closed curtains. How I climbed from the dining room balcony to the slate steps of the front entrance only to climb back as the door had long since stopped being used. How I climbed to the top of the laundry room shelves to hide, and was left there because no one really wanted to play hide and seek, and growing up meant leaving things behind.

I wonder how it is that I, who clings onto everything and hates to let go, am happier now than everyone else who would toss things aside without a second thought, choose to forget as much as they could. How I have nothing of my grandparents, or any other I have lost, but memories and haunting dreams?

I cannot fault my father for leaving it all behind. I often wonder if there was a relief in me transitioning as I was always told I looked like his mother, and his sister, and wonder if he was secretly glad that my face would not haunt him with the image of them. I never asked.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

A chaotic hero Scenario...

Gahhh I miss scenarios😭

As Batman's sidekick, you had the most energy and bubbly attitude. One would think that made you less frightening. That was wrong. In fact, Batman himself could barely wrap his head around the chaos that came with you and how the rogues seemed to panic at even the hint of your presence.

The Riddler: Everything was always in perfect order. Everything was just as he intended and the Riddler was certain that he'd beat the Batman once and for all declare his intellectual superiority. He moved past the figure that watched to check the numbers and that everything with his plans were in order, wait who did he pass? Edward spun around. Oh no. "(H/N)!?" Edward almost screeched. "Booyah! Fight me, Ed! Fight me!" You grinned and lunged. Edward took off into a run. He had to get you out of his lair at the very least. "(H/N)! Stop! Stop! Stop!" He yelled loudly. You were in hot pursuit until Edward heard you say something that put him to a screeching halt. "Oh, shiny!" His stomach nearly went into his throat. He practically sprinted back to haul you away from his newly finished machinery. "No! No! Don't touch that! You're idiotic brain will break it!" Having you around was like having a toddler...a dangerous one. He didn't want a child of any kind in his life and especially his hideout!

Mad Hatter: He never even explained to the other rogues what it is about you that scares him so much. Some questioned if he actually knew himself. Perhaps it was something about the costume you wore? Batman's is so much more intimidating. Yet like a rehearsal, the moment he saw you he was running. "C'mere Tetch! I'm gonna spank you! Kidnapping is very illegal!" All bets are off when you're around. If its Batman, Jervis will stick with his associates until the very end. However when you were sent in, he ditched them without hesitation. Blabbering incoherent words. It didn't even seem to matter that you never followed through with any threats. He will squeal at the very mention that you might actually like him.

Black Mask: You're always the first clue that Batman was near. The only thing is, Roman was always relieved when Batman did come back. It was like handing a wild child back to their parent. Every second was an eternal nightmare. Given his status in Gotham, he was prepared for a lot of things. What he wasn't prepared for was you sitting cross legged on his leather office chair and spinning around, frantically using his desk to help you build momentum. He's so blind sided he actually forgets he has a gun and that is his downfall because low and behold, Batman just came through a vent.

Two-Face: You took the two personalities on a whole other level, making sure to introduce yourself twice and ask him questions twice as though both couldn't hear you the first time. Although it's not much better when they respond you seem to focus on one eye or the other. Not to mention how you always try to butter him up. Whether it's compliments on his suit, the car the he definitely did not steal, his hair. Compliments didn't work on Harvey the same way it would others. It's just annoying and since he met you, it just got much worse.

Penguin: You're a pain in his ass. Literally. You're fast and constantly distracted. That means you can and WILL stumble across something and "Tell on him" to Batman as he so delicately sneers. He didn't like snoops. Although he learned he didn't like hyperactive snoops even more. Again, much like having child at the office.

Scarecrow: His psychology knowledge gives him some advantage over the others. However his psychopathy works against him. The little tricks work on you here and there. Tools of distraction. You could touch that vial of fear toxin that isn't ready and he had spent hours working on...but what if you looked at the scribbles on the desk and walls...it's his plan you know! He never really gets much further than that to really harm you whilst your distracted. Batman has excellent timing for you but rubbish timing for Crane. Batman's genuinely concerned for your safety when it comes to Scarecrow.

[reidsmemory]

Echo

Spencer Reid

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Y/N is abducted while working a case and the team has to find her before it’s too late.

Genre: Fluff with a touch of angst

Warnings: Mention of death of minor character, torture

not my gif!

The team had been looking into case that had targeted girls with Y/H/C hair and Y/E/C eyes. All had looks strikingly similar to you and if anyone were to see either one of the victims in a room with you, they would say you were related. You all had been on the case for about a week now and you were still no where close to catching this guy. 

     “Agent Y/L/N,” a voice called as you whipped your head to face them, “these came in for you,” the officer was holding a bouquet of red roses with a small white card on the top of it. 

      “Do you know who these are from?” you asked as he shook his head and walked away. 

      “What does the note say?” Emily asked as the whole team had watched the interaction. 

     You opened the envelope and read the note as you furrowed your brows, “echo.” The team looked at each other with puzzled faces, “what the hell is that suppose to mean? Have we already dealt with this unsub?” The rest of team began theorizing as the same officer walked up to you again.

     “Agent, we’ve got someone that say he needs to speak to you.”

      “Can’t they come here?” Hotch asked, getting defensive.

      “He says that he won’t go into a place of justice, whatever that means,” the officer began to lead you as the rest of the team followed. You began walking towards the entrance of the station as the officer looked around for the mystery man. “He was just here,” the man spoke. 

      “Spence,” you spoke out as your boyfriend looked to you before you collapsed on the ground. You head hit the flooring as a ringing sounded in your ears as well as their being two of everything. Two Spencer’s holding your head, two Hotch’s yelling and pointing fingers, two lights blinding you from seeing anything. 

     What felt like hours later you were being lifted onto a bed. Two men had arrived with an ambulance as shouting and yelling was all that was heard. “Are you family, sir?” the first responder asked as Spencer opened him mouth and closed it again, “I didn’t think so, you all can follow in cars.” The man said as his colleague gave him as weird look as the both of them lifted you into the ambulance as the rest of the team rushed to get their keys and get into the SUVs.

     The ambulance sped off as the sirens wailed and your team rushed to the cars. “What in the fresh hell?” Derek said as he looked at the tires on one of the SUVs. “My tires are popped, what about you, Hotch?” 

     “Same here,” the raven haired man said. 

     “It’s a set up,” Reid spoke as fear flooded his face. 

***

     You awoke in a cabin where you had been tired to a chair and had a gag on your mouth. Your vision still hazy and your thoughts even hazier. 

     “Oh good, you’re up,” a male voice said from the corner of the room. You tried to get a good look at him, but he stayed in the shadows. “Ben Cyrus,” he said as you furrowed your eyebrows. The name sounded so familiar, but you couldn’t quite remember where you had heard it before. 

      “Who are you?” you asked as the man chuckled. “Let me go, I’ll talk to my team and we can work this out.” He scoffed at your words and began to walk towards you. 

     “Ben Cyrus. He ran the greatest church known to man and you,” his face was hardened and his eyes had a crazed look in them, “took away our faith!” He struck his hand across your face as a burning sensation filled your cheek. 

     It all rushed back to you. A few year back you, Prentiss, and Reid had all gone undercover in a cult-like church. The leader, Benjamin Cyrus, had been suspected of child abuse and sexual harassment and the government had wanted the BAU to get involved. 

     “I remember,” you said as the man smiled. 

     “Good, Agent,” he grabbed a chair from the side of the room and brought it over to sit across from you. “Now,” he started again, “you might not know me. My name is Joey Cyrus and I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but I’d be lyin’,” he studied you as you did the same.

     “What do you want, Joey?” 

     “Well my daddy would be nice for one, but I don’t believe you have the power to do that. So you’ll do just fine,” he got up from his chair and walked over to the bag that you had seen from the corner of your eye. He dumped the contents on the ground in front of you and a spill of tools came out. A hammer, pliers, a baseball bat, a few knives, and other things that could do damage. “Let’s get to know each other.”

***

     Back at the station, Spencer was frantically trying to figure out who had taken you and why. The note on the roses had been laced with a medicinal herb that had knocked you out and the ambulance had been found in a ditch on the highway with all but one of the first responders on it. The medics had been killed in a brutal way that even made Spencer sick to his stomach as he thought about what this guy was doing to you.

     “Reid,” Hotch’s voice broke his train of thought as he met eyes with the older man. “Go ahead, Garcia.”

     “Alright. Our mystery medic is Joseph Mulgrew , he moved to Utah just a few years ago and before that he has been off the map,” Garcia told the team. “This guy, he’s like a ghost. No records of his name anywhere else and no former address of any kind.”

     “Did you say Mulgrew?” Spencer said as the team looked at him.

     “Yes I did Doctor, what about it?”

     “Look up Joseph Cyrus,” Spencer told her as they heard the taps of Garcia’s keyboard. The team looked at him for an explanation, “Benjamin Cyrus, he was an unsub we had.”

     “Yeah,” Emily started, “he was that guy that ran that church and...” she trailed off as the team got the gist of what she was saying. 

     “He was Charles Mulgrew before he made a come back at the church. It could be possible that he has unknown family, considering what he was really doing all those years,” Spencer explained, “Garcia, how old is Joseph?” 

     “He is 27 years of age and the good doctor is right. Joey here changed his name like dear old dad and oh...” Penny trailed off.

     “Penny?” JJ asked.

     “Joseph has been in and out of jail and juvie for as long as I can see. Charged with assault, petty theft, and oh my. Domestic abuse filed by his ex-wife who looks a lot like our Y/N,” a sounding on their tablets was heard as they opened it and saw a woman very similar to you.

     “But Spencer and I went undercover too, why would he pick Y/N?” Emily said as she immediately started to solve the puzzle, “you think it’s because of the looks of the ex-wife?”

     “I think so,” Rossi mumbled, “Penelope pull up the most current address to Joe and anything that could be used to store Y/N.”

     “I’ve got a home address and a storage unit and they have all been sent to your phones! Go crime fighters and get our princess back!” Penelope told them.

     “Thanks, Baby Girl,” Morgan hung up the phone.

     “Reid with me and JJ. Rossi, Morgan, and Prentiss take the storage. We’ll have to use squad cars until the SUVs are fixed so lets go get Y/L/N,” Hotch ordered as they all nodded ad went to the parking lot. 

***

     You muffled your screams and grunts as Joey had began to carve into your stomach. He laughed as you clenched your teeth and held your hands in fists, surely four crescent shaped cuts were to be found on the inside of your palms if you opened them. “You son of a bitch,” you struggled to get out as Joey wiped the knife off on your pants. 

     “Don’t you talk about my mama that way, girl. I’ll make sure you regret it.” You received at blow to the side of your face. You spit out the blood that formed in your mouth as Joey began to take the other tools out from his collection. “These look nice, don’t they, girl?” He held up a pack of cigarettes and a lighter as he popped one in his mouth.

     “Those things kill,” you said remembering Spencer tell you countless facts about the ‘cancer sticks’ as both of you had nicknamed them. “On second thought, why don’t you just keep smoking them.”

     He laughed, “you are a firecracker. My daddy always said the young ones are.” He stroked your hair as you tried to move back.

     “Your dad was sick in the head and you are too,” you spoke with such tenacity. 

     He looked at you blankly, “I thought I said you don’t speak of my family like that,” he took the cigarette from his mouth and stuck it on your exposed collar bone. 

     You grunted as he held your face in free hand. He leaned into your ear and whispered, “I want to hear those screams, girl.” He press the cigarette into your skin further, finally inciting a small scream to slip past your lips. “Good.”

***

     The team had arrived at both locations and there was no sign that you were there. Spencer paced around with his hands in is hair as the rest of the team was now even more worried than before, if that was possible. The team had no idea where you could be and if you were even alive. It had been at least 13 hours since you had dropped in the lobby and it was eating Spencer and the team alive.

     “You have nothing?” JJ asked Garcia over the phone,.

     “No, i’m sorry. I’ll keep looking and-” she was cut off by Spencer who had just had a revelation. 

     “Garcia, make sure the jet is ready. I think I know where Y/N is.”

***

     On the jet Spencer had explained the note and how it read ‘echo’ as saying that Joey might want to recreate the explosion at the church and now the team had touched down in Colorado where they got in SUVs to go to the church’s location. 

     A swat team followed them along the dirt roads that were bumpy and the night sky that was dark. The sun was starting to rise in the distance. Spencer remembered you always saying, ‘the same beams but a new day,’ and that made him the tiniest bit hopeful that they would find you in this new day. 

     The church came into view as they could see it was now a smaller wooden building. “What the hell,” Morgan said from the drivers seat as he say the building, “this guy built up a whole new structure to what? Avenge his father’s death?” The car came to a stop as the team hopped out of the car and Hotch began to go over the plan with the others.

     “From the front-” he was cut off by a ear piercing scream that came from no one other than you. Spencer looked at his boss in worry as Hotch returned the look and started again, “let’s go.”

     Joey drove a knife into your stomach as you screamed loudly. He left it in your body and quickly grabbed another knife from the ground. “You have got to work out your daddy issues another way,” you told him as he dragged the new knife down the side of your face as it cut into your skin. 

     “You wanna try something different, girl?” You immediately regretted your words and recalled Spence always telling you that your smart mouth was going to get you in trouble some day. He began to unbutton the top of his flannel, but quickly stopped as he heard footsteps in the distance. You heard them too. 

      “Spencer!” you yelled as loud as you could as Joey came over to you and cut the ropes on your ankles and arms as he quickly grabbed you and put a knife to your neck. 

      From the front of the house Spencer could hear your cries as his ears perked up as his heart rate grew faster and Hotch nodded as Morgan kicked the door down. The team moved through the structure and finally Spencer came face to face with you, “Y/N,” he said as you locked eyes with your boyfriend and smiled lightly, despite the situation at hand. 

     “Joseph, put the knife down,” Hotch told the man as the knife just dug deeper into your skin. 

     “I don’t think so,” he took grip on you and made it tighter. “You killed my family. He never did anything but help people in need of his guidance.”

     “Your father ruined the lives of young girls,” Spencer said matter-o-factly. 

     “No! He did them a favor, he gave them the greatest gift he could,” Joey said as he began to move his hand without the knife a bit more. You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried see what he was hold and finally saw a small remote concealed in his hand. 

     You moved your eyes to Hotch’s and blinked rapidly. You just hoped he would pick up on the Morse Code and get everyone out of the building. 

     “Let’s just talk this out, Joey,” Hotch started, “JJ get everyone out, I want to talk to Joey alone.” JJ furrowed her eyebrows at the man but he gave he a stern look as she understood and began to move the team out. 

     “No! Bring them back!” Joey yelled, “or she dies.” Spencer looked at JJ as she tried to get him to leave the building, but he refused to move so she quickly called Morgan who grabbed Reid as he struggled against him.

     “I can’t leave her!” he told them and Morgan ignored his pleas and called a couple SWAT members to help him with the genius. 

     “As much as I like her, I’ll do it,” Joey said as he continued to watch the men and women exist the building. “Bring them back!” Joey yelled as his grip on you faltered for a second which you took advantage of as you got out from his grasp and struggled to take the device from his hand. 

     “Go!” you yelled at Hotch but he jumped in and started to help you as the three of you wrestled and quickly the device was flung across the doorway to another room. You all freezed before you grabbed Hotch’s hand and dragged him towards the back of the building. 

     The team waited outside for Hotch and you as Reid screamed at Morgan, “you have to let me go back in there!”

     “You can’t Kid, you heard Hotch!” Morgan yelled back as the rest of the team cringed at the fight. “I know all of us want to go back in there, but we can’t! You gotta understand that, Kid!”

     “No! You don’t understand!” Spencer screamed, “she’s all I have! I didn’t even get to tell her that I love her! That I have been in love with her since that stupid dinner at that Thai restaurant in California!” 

     “That was two years ago...” JJ mumbled.

     “Yeah! Two years! I’ve only been with with her for a couple months now and I haven’t even told her!” Everyone’s hearts pained as they heard Spencer’s cries and saw the liquid that dripped down his cheeks. “I can’t-”

     All head turned as the house exploded a safe distance away from them. The orange flames roared as the team had their mouths’ open in shock.

     “No,” Rossi and JJ whispered at the same time. 

     Morgan’s grip on Reid was gone as he watched the flames and turned to Emily who had had disbelief and horror over her face. 

     Spencer’s mind raced a mile every second and now his mind was completely blank of everything but you. Your face, your smile, your eyes, your lips, your laugh, your touch, your everything. Spencer ran towards the flames as the team yelled after him. 

     “Spencer,” JJ’s voice breaking as she leaned into Rossi’s embrace. 

     “Kid. Come on, don’t do this,” Morgan called as Emily just watched in disbelief with a gaping mouth and teary eyes.

     Spencer didn’t care about their calls, he needed to find you. He scanned the firery rubble for any sign of you or Hotch, but there wasn’t any. Just ash and fallen wood covered in sweltering heat. “Y/N!” he yelled out, “Y/N! Hotch!” Spence continued to look through the wall of intense heat and for a second he saw a delicate hand reach up through the burning wood. “Y/N,” he whispered to himself as he began to walk through the blazing fire that threatened to burn his body and ruin his lungs. 

     He moved a piece of wood off of where he saw your hand and saw you and Hotch laying side by side. “Guys!” he screamed at his friends, “help!” The team gave each other confused faces before coming over to Spencer. JJ gasped as she saw your form next to Hotch’s as tears of joy spilled from her faces. Her and Emily joined hands as they worked to get the wood off of you. 

     “Medic!” Rossi yelled as people began to rush over to help. 

     Morgan and Reid worked to get a big piece of debris off of the two of you. Hotch’s eyes opened and he immediately looked to his side where you had been, holding his hand tightly. He coughed violently as the medics lifted him up and brought him to the ambulance. You blinked a few times and saw Spencer standing over you. 

     “Hey, can you hear me?” he asked as you gave him a thumbs up and he laughed at the simple gesture. He brought you up for and embrace as you struggled to keep your eyes open. The medic came over to you and began to carry you away as Spencer and the team followed you and Hotch to the ambulance. 

      “Can I?” he asked one of the nurses as she nodded and he climbed into the ambulance and held your hand as you drifted off to sleep.

***

     When you woke up, blinding lights had been the first thing you saw. The second was Spencer who was asleep in a chair next to your bed, his head resting on the bed and his fingers interlaced with your own. You blinked a few times and saw the rest of the team in the room with you. Hotch was in bed identical to yours, but he was up and had his eye focused on the TV in front of him. By his side was JJ and Morgan as the conversed with each other in hushed voices. Penny was writing in a card with a sparkling pink pen as she handed it off to Rossi who smiled lightly at her. Emily was just outside your room as you saw her talking with a nurse or doctor; rather it looked more like arguing.

     Derek glanced over to you briefly as he then turned back to JJ and then back to you. “You’re up,” he said quietly, a contrast to his usual booming voice. Everyone looked to you as you smiled.

     “You gave us quite a scare, Y/L/N,” Hotch said as you laughed quietly which then turned into a cough. 

     “Em! Get a nurse or doctor!” Penny exclaimed as Emily rushed and called a nurse in the hallway. JJ got up from her seat and made her way over to your bed.

     She examined your face before hugging you tightly. “God, you can never do that to us again,” she chuckled as you rubbed her back. You felt a few tears fall on your shoulders as JJ pulled away and wiped her cheeks. “He’ll be happy to see you,” she gestured to Spencer.

     “Glad to have you back, kiddo,” Rossi told you with a smile, “you need anything?” As soon as he said that a doctor walked into your room and started to go over your condition.

     “You are very lucky, Agent Y/L/N” she started,��“you have a mild concussion and that wound on your abdomen will take some time to heal over. You received first and second degree burns all over your legs, arms, and torso, just like Agent Hotchner. Your eardrums are very fragile and I recommend no flying for at least 3 weeks. Your face has some minor bruising and cuts that should heal over time.” She set her chart down. “The both of you should be able to leave in a few days time, but for now just relax.”

     “Thank you,” you said as she smiled.

     “Dinner will be up in a few minutes,” with that she left and Morgan was seen grinning widely. 

     “What?” you said.

     “She didn’t mention one thing.” You furrowed your brows at his words and he started to rub his head which just made you more confused.

     “I have a concussion, you’re going to have to actually say it.” He laughed at your words.

     “Do you think pretty boy will like the new haircut?” he asked as it finally clicked and you ran your fingers through your hair. 

     “Oh my, God,” you said as everyone laughed. “Oh my, God!” you repeated as Emily handed you a mirror and as you brought it up to your face your jaw dropped. Your hair was cut in jagged parts, but none shorter than your chin. The team laughed as you continued to gape at your reflection.

     “Some of your hair ended up burning off, just a bit,” Emily said as you looked at her with wide eyes. She laughed as you began to laugh too and soon everyone joined in as you all smiled at your stupidly, funny haircut.

     Spencer rubbed his eyes as he saw your smiling face and immediately hugged you tightly. “Thank Goodness,” he whispered as he pulled back from the embrace. “Why are we laughing?” he asked as you gestured towards your hair and smiled widely at the tall man.

     “Is this gonna be a deal breaker, babe?” his cheeks flushed at the nickname.

     He laughed a bit, “no, I still love you,” he said as the team froze at what he said as did he.

     “Awh, I love you more, Spence,” you told him without skipping a beat as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

     “Even if you do kinda look like David Bowie,” he said as you opened your mouth and smacked his arm playfully.

     “Spencer Reid!”

[bonelessghoul]

Until My Last Breath

requested by: @just-deka

summary: A heartrender in the rankings of the Crows and with an unspoken relationship with Kaz Brekker finds herself in trouble during a heist when there is a run in with the Dime Lions. When Kaz fights his way in to get her out of the mess it became, the two end up trapped and fighting for their lives. But in their last moments, the truth comes out. 

note: LMAO THIS WAS THE BEST WAY I COULD SUM UP THE REQUEST, but I was genuinely panicking at the end of this hoping this turned out the way you wanted it to!! Hope you enjoy :)

~

If you knew your life was going to end, what would you do? That would be a fun question to answer, but not if you only had minutes to live. Maybe hours. Hours was too optimistic though, and they realized that if they weren’t found soon, then the light in their eyes would be put out forever.

It was pure misery and bliss all at once as they stared at each other, the crushing weight of the rubble they were trapped under causing a flicker of fear deep in their stomachs. The things they wanted to say to each other could wrap around the world twice, but they settled with an endearing yet pained look only they knew with nothing but the space between their fingerprints reaching out to one another. It hurt to be so close and unable to touch.

If you had minutes to live, who would be the last face you’d want to see?

~

The chandeliers spaced throughout the high ceiling of the Crow Club gave a vintage touch with its dim light, making the deep red curtains around the room seem darker and masking the daylight from the outdoors. But tucked away in the second story was Kaz Brekker’s office. It was his solace away from the clamor of the club that was only muffled from where he sat hunched over his desk.

The midday crowd was already filling the club to the brim from the booths to the game tables and every space in between.  

But one figure slipped through it with ease, weaving in and out in a fresh white blouse, cinched in the middle and sleeves like balloons like an angel. It was like clockwork when you would find your way up the stairs to the office, bypassing the allure of the liquor and games Jesper engorged himself with. You were busy back in your room at the Slat, tinkering with new scraps of the latest mechanics you dug for, but like you said; your arrival was like clockwork.

Kaz, glancing at his pocket watch, stared as the thin needle of a hand rolled around the center point and as if on cue, he found YN breezing through the door with a breath of relief from squeezing through the crowd. His office smelled like remnants of firewood, the freshly brewed coffee he had filling the air. While the daylight was hidden in the club downstairs, a window was opened allowing a cool breeze and the cloudy skies to find their way into this massive space which also held a small bedroom.

As a Heartrender, you would never admit to the way Kaz’s heart would pick up whenever you were near.

“Morning.” you greeted, a handful of mail sent for him to the Slat in your hands as you crossed the space between the door and his desk.

Offering him the small stack and he took it, the shadows under his eyes seeming darker today. You were always up before the sun when your mind could not stop thinking of a new idea, and more often than not, you’d hear Kaz sneaking out in the early morning without a word.

“It’s afternoon.” he said, slyly glancing up at her as his gloved hand took the papers.

With your hands free, you sat yourself upon the very corner of his desk and looking down at the two cups of coffee still topped off with steam, one cup significantly lighter than the other. Smiling contently to yourself, you wrapped your hands around the mug and picked it up to your lips.

“Hope you got it right.”

Kaz glanced up once more as he sorted through the letters.

His eyes flickered over you for a moment, pausing from what he initially wanted to say and you could hear his heart beat in your ears as it skipped.

“Don’t worry, I made it sickening sweet.” Kaz mused, heaving a sigh as he leaned back in his chair.

“Good, I’ll slip slowly and waste more time here then.” you chuckled lightly.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy sitting on his desk, sharing a cup of coffee and hearing him rant as he read the bills, the offers from others, imported goods, the bank statements, and everything else that came with the stress of running a club, not to mention an entire gang. There as a guilty pleasure as a Heartrender that involved enjoying just how flustered became down to a cellular level , but her relationship with Kaz was different; being a Heartrender taught her how much she could push and how to know when to stop pushing given his complicated boundaries.

Admittedly, as indifferent as she made herself seem when it came to Kaz, had he been the Heartrender you would have been in trouble if he could hear your heart. Every time you saw his face at the end of a job, whenever he’d look at you as you sat like you did now, and even every little bit of your unique intimacy sent your heart racing.

It seemed there were many ways to love someone that didn’t involve touching, you thought to yourself, watching Kaz’s brows furrow in the slightest with every word he read with a bittersweet smile. But it hurt when she couldn’t hold his hand or feel his comforting arms at the end of the day.

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” you asked, clearing your throat. “Things have been awfully quiet lately.”

Kaz smirked, snickering lightly to himself as he looked up at her.

“We don’t say the words quiet around here because next thing you know, it won’t be so quiet and our hands will be full with trouble.”

You raised your brows. “Well, is something coming our way?”

The look on his face confirmed it all. A simple job was offered to the Crows and a select few Dregs of his choosing (but Kaz would tell you to round up those best for it anyway), to steal a vintage piece of jewelry just brought to  Ketterdam’s historic society display room. It was a job within a job, for the person requesting this jewelry and its unique elemental composition worth hundreds of thousands, it was the key to a bigger job after this which they hoped to secure.

“They have a pretty tight security system.” You sighed, holding up the blueprints he pulled out in front of you.

“Perhaps, you can figure it out in a more spacious area than the corner of my desk.” Kaz frowned, looking away as his chin rested in his palm. Then, only his eyes moved towards her. “I’m leaving the tight security system to you because you’re the only one who is creative enough to get by them. Inej scouted every entrance and found the source of the security system’s mechanics.”

It seemed easy, nothing you hadn’t come up with before, and an idea was already forming in your head to your excitement.

“Tinker around, get the ancient necklace, and a boat load of kruge.” You said simply, your voice only wavering in the slightest as your eyes narrowed at just how intricate the alarm system was.

Kaz stood up from his seat, taking the maps from her to wrap up and slide away in its casing.

“You should be on your way. Best to get a quick start so we can be in and out tonight.” Kaz said, handing her the cylinder casing for the blueprints.

“Oh, I’d sit here all day of you let me.” you grinned, earning an eye roll from him.

“Go.” Kaz pressed, his face more asserting now, trying to hide his own smirk.

But even as you strolled out the door, you could hear his heart rate jumping. Kaz’s eyes didn’t leave your figure on the way out, still staring out into space after the door shut. He leaned over his desk with his palms pressed into the wooden edge and his head dropped with a sigh.

Kaz Brekker was in trouble and his little Heartrender already knew.

~

There was a slightly calmer hour to be found at the Crow Club between the midday crowd leaving and night crowd slowly taking its place. In that time, you found yourself sitting at a booth and sinking into the curved red velvet seating.

You were sketching out a tool that will silence the alarm mechanisms that you had been reading up on for the past two hours. Time was running slow and your back began to ache from the position you barely moved from as you dug the lead into the parchment.

“Hey, YN! How’s it—”

“Jesper!”

Your hands frantically waved him off as his palm came down on your sprawled out pile of sketches and he jumped back, staring at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry, sorry.” You said, piling up the previous sketched of the tool you were designing, the exhaustion clear in your skiddish movements. “I have just been trying to wrap my head around this job tonight.”

Jesper smoothly slid into the booth, sitting next to you with eyes scanning over the maps. From behind, Inej approached them and slid into the booth from the other side and now, both Crows were perched upon her shoulders and looking at her work.

“The historical society in the Geldestraat is no playground.” Inej sighed.

“Oh, it’s a playground for sure, just one with little landmines at every step and Stadwatch at every corner. Then, it’s a race to the last swing on the swing set and that is our prize at the end of tonight.” Jesper ranted, his hands flailing as he spoke.

By the time he was done speaking, you and Inej stared at him, speechless.

“You must have been the child that was always bullied at playgrounds, weren’t you?” you muttered, turning your head back to the blueprints. “It’s one of the most complex, yet easiest security systems we’ve had to break into. If the necklace is on display in the spot you say it is, Inej, then this window here is our best bet.”

“Best bet for what?” Inej asked, looking at her quizzically.

Grinning, you held up the drawing of a box no bigger than your hand, the inner workings of your mind scribbled across the page.

“The window has about 5 seconds from the moment it’s opened all the way before it starts setting off an alarm which has a domino affect on the other alarms. It’s a system of bells and the window we’re going through is the start of the system. If I can forge this box to the right dimensions of the window and the string that is triggered from the window opening, then we will have a few minutes before it breaks, and the bells signal any Stadwatch in the area.”

Jesper scoffed. “Then don’t build a little tool that is going to break.”

Your hands ran over your face and instantly, you swatted at his shoulder.

“My work is impeccable, but that string is thin and ready to snap, it’s why they used it so that when the window opened, it would cut it and set off the bells.”

“Oh!” he said slowly, coming to the realization as his lips formed an o.

Even as you spoke of your plan as easily as floating down a stream, it was too good to be true. There were a dozen other factors you haven’t considered yet that made this all the more tricky. In theory, it sounded simple but getting through the window and setting up the tool in time was critical, not to mention getting to the lower level of the museum and back in time before the bells go off.

Leaning on your elbows, your shoulders sunk just a little as your mind continued to pour over the plan.

“I have to be efficient. I say we get a few minutes, give or take another fifteen minutes tops, to make it to the necklace and back without a single peep.”

Jesper glanced at Inej who was standing beside you now and looking it all over.

“Can you do that Inej?”

Immediately, the girl shook her head.

“I may be the most graceful here, but I’m surprisingly not the fastest.”

You didn’t pay any mind to the attention being shoved on you. While you wouldn’t admit it, you’ve already been thinking of it all afternoon and it left your stomach in knots.

“I’ve been walking through this all afternoon.” you sighed, a hint of defeat in your face. “Partially, I feel like taking our chances by taking these jewels in broad daylight.” you half joked.

Suddenly, your hearing focused in on a heart that almost had a third pound through his chest from the cane who always wore. That and his heartbeat both resounded through Kaz’s body with such strength, but, even when you expected him to be near, you didn’t expect him behind the booth sending the three of you with the Saints.

“We do not have the luxury of stealing things in broad daylight, YN.” Kaz said, startling everyone out of their own skin, looming over their shoulders until they he was in front of the table. “We got the jump on this before anyone else, there is no other time to do this but tonight so you all have to be ready.”

You looked up at him, slightly taken back at how high strung he was over this job, his own stressed soul infecting theirs. His eyes scanned over the three of them and then, fell on yours, but you were already looking at the hard lines in his face accentuated by his frown.

Nodding, you tore your eyes away from him and got back to work.

This job was going to break a sweat out in all of them before it even started.

~

“This one won’t explode, yes?” Kaz asked you.

Frowning at him, you waved the contraption you built in an hour Iin the air.

“Look, I know the last one did but this was a simple put together of a few different pieces. See, if you just-'

Kaz put his hand up with an exasperated look, signaling you to stop the demonstration you tried to put on by showing him the inside of your invention.

The two or you stood by one of the street level windows to the small brick building, it’s window panes and shutters painted black, and on this little side street there was no light that found its way here except the faint blue moon above their heads. Kaz had just unlocked the windows, and he stood there just inches away before he would open the window and you’d crawl in, having to be quick.

As you looked at him, you almost couldn’t distinguish who’s heart was racing faster.

Every time you tried to think of your path to the second story where the famous necklace was on display, your thoughts kept getting scrambled.

“Be fast, but not sloppy and get back here in one piece with that jewel in your hand.” Kaz said, his voice not missing a confident beat.

You nodded, smiling reassuringly and your hands nervously straightened the flaps of his wool jacket and you took a shaky breath.

“Got it. Open it up.”

With his cane, Kaz stepped towards the window and gave you one last look as you prepared to jump from the crate and through the opening. Even the first story was a bit of a height difference from the street, but you were quick and had the jumping skill set needed.

Kaz nodded at her and without a moment to waste, Kaz opened the window and you sprinted in, your foot pressing into the crate, pushing off of it and your hands clutching the windowsill to guide you in with ease. There was only a few seconds left and you leaped up to the top of the window, watching as the string that held together their alarm system was growing taught and with your heart pounding, your arm shot out to grab it before it snapped and finally, you could let out a breath or relief.

“Did it work?” Kaz asked, peaking his head through the window

Your tongue was peaking through your lips as you focused intently on wrapping the string in your contraption without moving it too much, settling it against the window secured in place like it were a second addition to big metal box against the wall that was the start it.

“YN!” he hissed.

You shushed him, beads of sweat forming at your temples, slowly leaning back as you released your invention that would keep the string in place, everything seemingly more quiet than normal.

That was good though, the silence being a sign that it was working.

Leaping down, you faced Kaz on the other side of the window and smiled at him, giving a wave of the hand in the form of a salute.

“See ya in a minute.”

Kaz grinned at you, but you turned and ran before you could hear him say a word.

The historical society was an old mansion, when they were a little smaller back in the day, converted into a museum. The hardwood floors and floral carpets were the original, the walls having been painted over a baby blue and hung with artwork that dated before Ketterdam was even recognized on the map. Everyone believed they were copies though.

You came out to the front entrance, a massive open space with a chandelier made of diamonds that sparkled and cast sharp little reflections around the room from the moon that shone in through the window above the tall double doors.

Holding your breath, you slowly looked around, not a single sound or movement to be made.

It was clear and you were set to take off up the stairs, careful not to place your hand along the railing. At the top of the stairs, it split into two hallways but you need not worry about which one to go down because the jewels were sitting in a small case, overlooking the home. They were meant to be in a room down the hall, having yet to be put on display, but it seems your job just got easier.

With a devious, proud grin across your lips, you looked at the ember colored jewels sat into the heavy golden necklace, and even you had to take a moment to admire it’s beauty as if there was a fire burning in each and every individual stone. But, you glanced at the pocket watch you had stolen from Kaz years ago and knew you only had a minute of assurance that the alarm wouldn’t go off before you had to run back

With gloved hands, you lifted the glass boxand plucked the jewel out from it.

In one swift move you placed the glass back and turned around, ready to bolt down the stairs, but two gunshots shattered your senses and while you couldn’t understand why at first, you were sent hurdling down the stairs with no control of your body.

Kaz was growing impatient standing in the alleyway, anxiously checking his watch, counting down the minutes. It shouldn’t have taken this long, and he knew that you knew that as well. Maybe they hid the necklace after the museum closed or maybe they haven’t even had the chance to put it out yet, but Kaz was not looking forward to having to jump to their plan B.

“Dammit, YN" he hissed, glancing through the window into the dark hallway.

But the sound of guns being fired sent him in a frenzy and without waiting a second, Kaz climbed through the window fearing the worst.

By the time you landed, rolling to a stop, the wind had been knocked out of you, pain started surging through your backside from your left hip to right shoulder blade, and left you dizzy and gasping for air. Still clutched in your hands was the necklace, and you tried to focus on how many heartbeats were in the room, but you couldn’t concentrate with the pain you were in.

“Lock her up, she’s a Heartrender.” said a man with a thick Kerch accent that sent her stomach in knots.

“No.” you painfully gasped, trying to bring your hands together.

But one boot came stomping down on the wrist that held the necklace and your screamed out in pain as your shattered bones grinded against. Suddenly, your numb fingers could no longer find the golden chain as it was taken from your hands in Pekka Rollins came into view.

“I’ll be taking that, darling. Thanks for doing the work for us!”

As Pekka stood over you, his shadowed face looking down at you with a horrid grin that made your blood boil. Your hand was shaking as you tried to bring them together, but he waved his finger in front of your face.

“Don’t even try it or a bullet will be put in your head the moment you even move a muscle.” he threatened.

At the sound of a cane smacking into a man’s skull, your head sharply turned as you lay on the ground, watching Kaz storm into the room and begin fighting the Dime Lions that charged at him.

“Kaz, no!” you cried out, your heart nearly lurching from your chest.

It was only moments before two of them seized Kaz, bringing him down on his knees. Tears pricked your eyes as you watched them relentlessly dig their fists into every part of his body, his head refusing to fall in defeat.

“What a surprise, Mr.Brekker.” Rollins taunted, strolling over to him. “I worried you might have been here before we were when your little Wraith hijacked our meeting with the buyer, but I figured, why not sit back and let you do the work for us?”

Kaz glared up at Pekka, his eyes flickering to you as you lay there, a gun pointed to your head at the hands of another Dime Lion and you watched his face drain of all its color.

“Not her.” Kaz said unconsciously, the words passing through his lips like he were thinking out loud. 

That was their first mistake.

“I didn’t know the Dregs at a Heartrender in their rankings.” Pekka said, observing Kaz’s faulty eyes, glancing back at you with a smug grin. “That sounds a bit like cheating.” But then, he shrugged and his head rolled back to Kaz. “Bah, what do I care? She won’t make it much longer, but you? If you manage to crawl out of this mess, I might have a little more respect for ya.”

You didn’t know what mess Pekka Rollins was referring to, but your backside was already aching, blood seeping through your clothes now as you lay on the cold floor.

Kaz was writhing in their grips, bloody murder written across his face as he seemed to make his way out of one of their grasps and just as you thought he would have won, a gun shot rang through the air and made you jump.

Despite all the pain, you watched as Kaz crumpled to the ground and your body instantly shot up, wincing as Pekka kicked him in the face. But another shot resounded through the air, and you collapsed back on the ground with your hand still reaching for him, your leg now feeling useless as the bullet lodged itself in your calf. You watched as Kaz roll in his back, face contorted with pain.

The tears began to fall and you lay there, looking at him, waiting for his eyes to open and look back at you.

“Let’s leave, boys. Blow the place on the way out.”

That order sent a chill through your body and you helplessly watched them walk away.

“Kaz…” you weakly croaked out, watching him begin to prop himself up, one hand holding his stomach. “Kaz, we need to go.”

As you tried to shuffle towards him, every muscle in your body screaming with pain, you were only inches away from your fingertips reaching the lapels of his coat. Kaz looked at you, his eyes wide, but the moment he reached out for you, a blast shook the entire building and the last thing you saw was the walls crumbling down around you.

~

“YN!”

The voice was muffled, just barely heard over the ringing over your ears. Slowly, your eyes blinked open, and you couldn’t feel a thing as you watched the dark blue twilight sky above your head. It was almost peaceful, the sky lightening ever so lightly that you could make out the thick clouds that were almost black against the backdrop of the sky.

But then, the sharp scent of smoke that clouded your lungs and the irony taste of blood in your mouth took you away from your blissful moment and thrusted you into one of sheer panic as it crawled up your spine.

“YN!”

The ringing stopped and you could hear the cackling of flames and rubble grinding against each other now, turning your head to see Kaz.

Soot streaked his face; the panic you felt now visible in his widened eyes and the way his lips hung open like he was staring at a ghost. Your hands were merely inches from each other now and all around, the ceiling lay in shambles, the chandelier at your heads spreading its little diamonds across the space between you two. For a moment you wonder if that was what spared you two from the wood and stone that lay around you, but when you looked, you see that wood was piercing your thigh and the door lay over your ankle.

“Kaz.” you said shakily, looking back at him.

It was amazing how you couldn’t feel a thing, but that was probably good.

You two stared at each other, panting and clearly at a loss of what to do, except all you two could do was look at each other.

If you knew your life was going to end, what would you do? That would be a fun question to answer, but not if you only had minutes to live. Maybe hours. Hours was too optimistic though, and they realized that if they weren’t found soon, then the light in their eyes would be put out forever.

It was pure misery and bliss all at once as you stared at each other, the crushing weight of the rubble they were trapped under causing a flicker of fear deep in their stomachs. The things they wanted to say to each other could wrap around the world twice, but they settled with an endearing yet pained look only they knew with nothing but the space between their fingerprints reaching out to one another. It hurt to be so close and unable to touch.

If you had minutes to live, who would be the last face you’d want to see?

“Don’t look at my like that, YN.” Kaz grunted, trying to pull himself up. “Don’t look at me like you’re going to die.”

The bruises scattered across his face and the blood that soaked through his shirt were clear as day, but he seemed unphased as he tried to move closer.

You faintly smirked at him, feeling a trickle of blood from the corner of your lip.

“I think only you could look like an angel even when a building exploded around us.”

Kaz saw you smile through the pain, and every effort to be strong he tried to put up was whisked away by the look on your face as his shoulders fell. He could have collapsed back to the floor, letting the sleep take him away, had it not been for the way you smiled at him. Of course, he was in pain too, but it was insurmountable to the pain caused by the sight before him. His heart raced, wondering just how he would manage to drag the two of you out of this as his own limbs grew weary and tired from trying to sit up.

“I think you should get a demo man, Jesper always wanted one.”

Kaz, exhaled, letting out a brief chuckle.

“Why should I when half of your inventions explode anyway? We’ll have plenty more to come.”

There was a tinge of fear to his voice, hidden by the hope that you would make it til morning, and you could hear it; he didn’t want to lose you. He couldn’t let Pekka Rollins take someone else from him, even if it meant waiting until his last breath to take his life.

You rolled your eyes at him, the pain slowly starting to return as you gazed at the ceiling.

You kept your heart beating, your blood flowing, but you tried to pull yourself closer to Kaz only to sink back into the floor with defeat and suddenly, your chest started to rise and fall quicker. This couldn’t be it. You were stronger than this. You had to survive—if not for the Crows, but for him. Perhaps, you were being too hopeful after all.

“Kaz.” you croaked out, looking back at him with the tears threatening to pour out of your eyes.

“YN, we will be okay.” he said, his voice stern as if he could read your mind.

Suddenly, when he was within reach, you clasped his gloved hand and forced as much life into him as you could, watching him become caught off guard as his heart began to race.

“No.” he pleads.

Kaz tried to pull away, but you wouldn’t let him.

“You need to conserve your energy. We need to get out of here before the Stadwatch find us in the middle of this.”

“I’m saving you so you can save the both of us!” you argued, using his hand to pull yourself a little closer, both of you straining to bring yourselves together. But you paused for a moment, trying to catch your breath. “One of us needs to make it out of here tonight and I’m the only one who can make sure of it.”

Kaz finally pulls his hand away, and you watch him fight against everything that brought him down to sit up, leaning his back on the heavy chandelier and the remnants of the ceiling that supported it. He shut his eyes for a moment, and you watch the connection between you break as he becomes overly drained, still thinking desperately of a way out of this. As he sat there, you too fought against the pain coursing through every nerve of your body, the bullets lodged within you taunting your beaten soul as you tried to sit yourself up too. The cracked bones in your wrist made you gasp when you tried to put pressure on it, but you fought through it for one last push as you sat yourself up against the chandelier just a foot away with him.

“I cannot leave here alone. I can’t go back if you’re not with me.” Kaz said slowly, his head turning to you.

Now that you two were closer to each other, you could see just how hurt he was.

You opened your mouth to speak, ready to grasp his hand again, but blood spattered through your lips as you coughed it up.

Black spots danced across your vision, and you slowly start to fall over.

Kaz’s breath hitched, and his arms moved before he could even think to do so, dragging you towards him.

The moment you felt his arms around you, you came back to your senses, looking up at him from where your head lay on his chest.

“Kaz, you don’t—”

“I-I have to.” He says, shuddering slightly.

Kaz’s mind could not seem to push away the suffocating feeling your touch brought, and he found himself looking away, trying to fight off the horrifying memories of the ocean swallowing him whole. 

But he squeezed you tight, all flesh and bone still warm with life, trying to push out the gruesome images of his last memories with Jordie. You were alive in his arms, and he wouldn’t live to see the day you weren’t despite their odds right now.

For so long, you dreamed of the day Kaz could hold your hand, even let his knuckles brush by yours. But you never thought this is how it would go.

“It’s because I’m dying, isn’t it?”

Yes.

Kaz looks down at you, already accepting the defeat of the night, and he is almost too horrified to speak as your eyes seemed calmer now than from the second you finally regained consciousness.

“It’s because—”

He pauses, looking away from you and you hang on to every word.

The only thing he wanted to do was hold you, hating himself for never doing it sooner.

“It’s okay, Kaz.” you smile sadly. “There was going to be a day when I’d watch you all grow old and leave me, but if I don’t make it through this, at least I won’t have to watch that happen.”

There was a million things you could say, a million things you built up for years since the day you saw him. In all that time you never imagined it all coming down to this and you were just so tired, but you wanted to hear him say the words.

“But I want to hear you say it.” You said, your voice growing quiet.

No matter how much you tried to justify letting go, you didn’t want to. Your heart beat for him as you looked up at him and all you wanted to do was hear him say those words.

As your eyelids became heavy, you tried to focus on the way your heart beat alongside his, pressing your hand against his chest so that you could fight for the two of you, but his heart was already racing. You loved the sound of it, remembering every time you would hear it jump the moment you stepped into a room.

“I’m afraid we don’t have enough time for me to hold you and tell you the words you want to hear.”

Kaz was fighting for his life and his urge to finally tell the truth about everything. The way he hated when you’d sit on his desk, play with his jacket when there was a slight hair out of place, and he hated how even now you were fighting to keep both of you alive. But there was the way he loved watching you outwit everyone of the Dregs when they played at the tables, the way he loved when you’d doze off in his office after a long day of working with your tools and so much more he hated himself for only paying attention to now.

“Are you going to make me do everything?” you ask, weakly smiling, hiding your face as your hot tears stained his chest.

You could feel him smile, and you could also feel your energy draining by the second.

“I love you, Kaz. Until my last breath.” you said, fearing this would be your last.

The words were on both of their minds, yet, Kaz couldn’t wrap his head around it and when you said it, his lips parted ever so slightly, staring ahead at the rubble as if that was the biggest shock to come of the night. Those words were foreign to him, they belonged to a shell of who he was and he couldn’t allow himself to accept it. His heart ached though, almost wanting to hear it again from your lips.

But then, when his heart suddenly slowed and he felt your hand leave his chest, Kaz looked down at you in a panic.

“YN…” he whispered urgently.

“I’m here.” you murmured; your eyes closed.

It felt so nice to shut them for a moment.

Kaz looked down at you, everything in him spinning, and he was ready to march you out of here now to get help but even then, as he tried to move, the pain in his body kept him grounded. Sighing in defeat, he smacked his head against the back of the chandelier and rubble he leaned upon, wanting to scream or yell and curse the world for making him so weak. His mind lingered back to the waters, Jordie’s molted and rotten skin at his fingertips, while he kicked back to the harbor swimming against all odds.

“I love you too, YN.” he said, the words cutting through the silence around them.

Deep down, he didn’t want to say the words out loud, knowing they might be the last he says to you. He yearned for more time to love you, to stroke the hair off your face as he did now as the corner of your lips turned upwards. 

It made him forget to breathe as he frantically searched around, wondering if there was a way out.

But the exhaustion was tearing him apart and he looked down at you one last time, the smile off your face as your head rolled slightly. 

It wasn’t long before his eyes closed too.

~

“I found them!” 

The Dregs were scouring the rubble after they heard the explosion from the rendezvous point, Jesper and Inej running back after seeing that the two of you never made it. 

When the pair heard one of the Dregs call out, the pair exchanged a worried look before pushing through the remnants of the mansion. They feared they would find your mangeled bodies waiting for them, but they skidded to a halt when they saw something else entirely.

Jesper’s face fell, as Inej’s hand clamped over her mouth, watching as Rotty checked their pulses, the man’s hands shaking as they checked. 

“They’re still breathing!” Rotty shouted with relief. “Let’s move them out of here, they’re hurt pretty bad.”

But Inej and Jesper could not move just yet, staring with teary eyes from the overwhelming release of the weight on their shoulders. You sat curled up alongside Kaz, his arms wrapped around you, holding so tightly they could have swore he turned to stone. 

There was no time to waste though, and they ran to you and Kaz to drag the two of you out to safety. 

[xxdragonwriterxx]

🔥A Thought For a Thought🔥

~~~

It was subtle, but (Y/N) could tell he was struggling. The young Squad Leader watched out of the corner of her eye as the newly promoted Captain Levi looked over the reports in front of him, his eyes darting back and forth over the words and his brow almost imperceptibly furrowed. She watched him as he huffed a quiet breath and turned to another report instead, his eyes scanning the page furiously, as if he were searching for the key to some great revelation.

(Y/N) knew the truth. She had never told anyone, never planned to, but thanks to the significant amount of time she spent with the surly Captain, ordered by Erwin to help him manage his workload, (Y/N) could tell. Levi couldn’t read. He had never mentioned it to anyone, had never voiced his concerns with the mountains of paperwork on his desk. He only sat alone in the late hours of the night, trying to discreetly teach himself without anyone knowing that Humanity’s Strongest Soldier was illiterate.

(Y/N) lightly nibbled on the end of her pen as she watched him, pretending to be reading the document in front of her. She was worried about him. She barely knew him other than her brief interactions with him while they worked, but she could see the weight of the stress on his shoulders, see the quick flickers of anxiety flash in his eyes every time he saw the increasing workload on his desk. It also didn’t help that the other soldiers still treated him like shit due to his background. He was a Captain now, so nobody would outright insult him, especially if they wanted to keep all of their limbs, but she knew he knew about the rumors, the whispers, the sneers as he walked past.

Many of the soldiers either hated him for his very sudden promotion or were disgusted by him because of where he came from. It made (Y/N) grit her teeth in anger. People were always so quick to judge, not even caring when his two best friends died, a few of them even insinuating that they deserved to die because of their lives in the Underground.

(Y/N) knew that not only would admitting his struggle with reading and writing make him even more of a target for condescending remarks, but also that nobody would be willing to help him. Nobody would care about a rude, violent man from the slums just because he couldn’t read.

She knew she had to do something. She had been ordered to help Levi when Erwin had noticed that nothing was being turned back in to him, but she knew it couldn’t go on like this forever. Besides, (Y/N) loved to read. She loved books more than anything, they were her escape into a different reality, a whole new world to explore with millions of characters to fall in love with. She had lived a thousand lives, died a thousand deaths, loved millions of times through books, and it made her sad that he couldn’t experience that same joy, especially since it was a great way to relieve stress, something that she knew he desperately needed.

Setting her remaining reports aside, (Y/N) stood and made her way to the Captain, catching his attention as she took a seat at his desk in the chair right across from him.

“Squad Leader (Y/N)? What do you need?” Levi asked gruffly.

(Y/N) heard his rough tone, but she thought she almost saw a flash of relief flicker in his eyes at her distraction, as he placed the reports he had been trying to tackle back on his desk in front of him. Folding his hands in his lap, he leaned back in his chair.  (Y/N) took a deep breath and looked him right in the eye when she spoke.

“You can’t read, sir. Please, let me help you.”

Levi froze immediately, his whole body tensing as he glared daggers at the woman in front of him. His eyebrow raised when she did not flinch away from the dark glower that usually sent grown men running.

“I haven’t told anyone, and I won’t tell anyone, I promise, I just want to help you.”

“Why the fuck do you want to help me?” Levi asked.

“Because I can tell you’re struggling, sir, and I want you to be able to do your job effectively. Also, I love to read, and I think you’d really come to enjoy it once you learn how to do it properly.”

“What’s the catch?” Levi asked with an eyebrow raised.

“There is no catch, only that you have to work harder to save humanity by doing the reports on your desk, once you learn what’s actually on them.”

Levi contemplated her for a moment. Despite his inability to read words, he could read people pretty well, and he could tell she didn’t have any malicious intent, but he just couldn’t help but feel suspicious. He already felt a little exposed at the idea that she had discovered his secret, all on her own at that, meaning he was showing more weakness than he originally thought, but he also couldn’t deny that it was a tempting offer.

He continued to appraise her, and even though (Y/N) had the urge to turn away under his intense gaze, she held her own against him, standing tall and showing him that she had nothing to hide. When his silver eyes finally met her’s again, she could tell he was going to accept her offer, the small twinkle of hopefulness that glimmered in his eye making her heart flutter. She knew he wanted to learn, he just struggled with accepting help from others.

Finally, he nodded once, and moved his chair over slightly so she could slide up beside him and position herself at his desk. He was a little stiff, his body tense at the feeling of her being so close to him, right in the center of his personal bubble, but he eventually loosened up a bit as she gathered the reports on his desk and began teaching him the basics.

______________________________

He looked up when the door to his office opened. Not only was it late at night, past curfew for most soldiers, but (Y/N) was the only one who was allowed to come into his office without knocking, so he knew exactly who it was when he heard the squeak of the door handle.

(Y/N) came into his office facing away from him, using her back to push open the door before making her way to him holding a tray with two tea cups, a teapot, and some small cookies. His mouth watered as she came closer and he nodded at her gratefully, taking a cookie and popping it into his mouth. Usually he wasn’t a huge fan of sweets but he had learned, the more time he spent with her, that (Y/N) was an amazing baker and always made them just right for him. He hummed as the delectable taste melted on his tongue before looking down at the finished reports in front of him.

It had been a few months since (Y/N) had started teaching him how to read and write and he was already making significant progress. (Y/N) was an amazing teacher. She was always so patient with him, even when he was being moody, always encouraging him to keep trying until it finally started to click for him. She had started out with doing most of his reports for him, writing out what he wanted to say and then helping him write different sentences from the report on a separate sheet of paper, taking special care to teach him about each letter.

There were some nights where she even read to him from one of the many books she kept in her room, letting him just relax and close his eyes while laying on the couch, letting himself sink into the world of the novel and forget the problems of his real life for a couple of hours. There were other nights where she would randomly flip it on him, and have him read to her, helping him with pronunciations and challenging him with more difficult words and phrases each day. 

He normally didn’t care about other people’s opinions, but something about the sincerity in her voice, the light in her eyes when she complimented him; it made him feel so special. On top of everything, she had kept her word and refused to tell a soul, even leaving his secret out of her reports to Erwin each time. He could tell in the way that nobody treated him with more malice than usual, something he was immensely grateful for.

He had to keep from smiling as he thought about her, his grey eyes appraising her as she sat down on the couch with her small bag, her eyes focused on the contents inside while she dug through it, looking for her supplies.

“What’s on the schedule for today, (Y/N)?” Levi asked, moving his reports to the side.

(Y/N) looked back at him and smiled, her eyes glimmering with mischief in a way that had him narrowing his gaze at her.

“Oi, brat, what was that look for?”

“Oh, nothing,” (Y/N) replied cheekily, making Levi grumble to himself while he waited impatiently for her to finish organizing her things.

“That doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“It’s nothing bad.”

“I don’t believe you.”

(Y/N) snickered at Levi’s blunt remark, reaching for a notebook, a sheet of paper, and a pen from the pile of things she had brought with her. (Y/N) ignored Levi’s grimace of disgust at the mess of things she left on the couch and approached his desk.

“Today, Levi, we are going to be practicing cursive. You will need it for writing letters to the nobles, merchants, and any other groups of people who are associated with the nobility. They will be much more likely to reject requests or ignore your message if it doesn’t look neat and curvy,” (Y/N) said, rolling her eyes in disdain for the nobles and their stupid rules.

Levi scoffed but did not argue. (Y/N) knew he was just reacting to the nobles, his disgust surrounding them carrying over from his days in the Underground. Opening the notebook, (Y/N) flipped to the page where she had spent hours meticulously writing out each individual cursive letter as clearly as possible for Levi to use as a learning tool. Moving around the desk, (Y/N) turned the notebook around for him to see and started by teaching him each individual letter, just as she had done when teaching him normal lettering and spelling.

Levi got a little frustrated with some of the more difficult letters, their shapes and curves making it difficult for him to make them smooth and neat, but he was catching on quickly, taking (Y/N)’s lessons and rolling with them.

When he was finally ready, (Y/N) flipped to a different page in her notebook where she had written out sentences for him to practice, reaching over to grab the blank sheet of paper for him to work on and handing him the pen she had brought.

(Y/N) stood from his desk with a stretch, claiming she had to deliver the stack of finished reports on Levi’s desk to Erwin before the Commander turned in for the night, grabbing the stack and making her way to the door.

“I want you to copy down those sentences until you fill up that entire page, front and back, okay Levi? I’ll check your work when I get back,” (Y/N) threw over her shoulder before closing the door behind her.

 Levi, meanwhile, was a little stunned, his face flushing a bit.

“(Y/N) is smarter than Levi.”

“(Y/N) is more attractive than Levi.”

“(Y/N) is stronger than Levi.”

“(Y/N) is a better Squad Leader than Levi.”

Levi stared at the page for a moment before bursting into laughter. It wasn’t a loud laugh, but it was a laugh nonetheless, the quiet sound filling the empty office as he read each sentence again. Levi shook his head at her antics, smiling despite himself as he got right to work.

______________________________

By the time (Y/N) came back into the room, he had filled almost the entire page, his letters getting more elegant with each sentence. He nodded at her when she came in, one that she returned in kind, before he bent back down to finish his assignment. (Y/N) picked up the book she brought with her and read a few pages on the couch while she waited for him to finish, the sound of his pen scratching against the page; the only sound in the small office.

“Done,” Levi said gruffly after a short while, prompting (Y/N) to close her book and walk over to him, a smile teasing at the corners of her lips.

“Let me see what you did,” (Y/N) said, holding her hand out.

Levi handed her the page with a huff, muttering something about her being a pain in his ass. (Y/N) chuckled, knowing he didn’t mean it before looking at the page he had handed her.

“HEY!” (Y/N) shouted suddenly, throwing a glare at the raven-haired man.

“What is it?” Levi asked innocently.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Levi, you know exactly what it is!” (Y/N) said with a playful pout, glaring at the glimmer in eyes.

“I won’t know ‘what it is’ if you don’t tell me, brat,” Levi said with a smirk.

“You wrote all of the sentences backwards!” (Y/N) said, turning the page around for him to see.

“Levi is smarter than (Y/N).”

“Levi is more attractive than (Y/N).”

“Levi is stronger than (Y/N).”

“Levi is a better Squad Leader than (Y/N).”

At the bottom of the page, Levi had even written in beautiful cursive:

“(Y/N) is a pain in my ass.”

(Y/N) glared at Levi again when he pretended to analyze the page, his brows furrowing.

“I am so sorry (Y/N), I guess I just read your example sentences wrong. You know how I struggle with reading, especially with this new fancy lettering, my eyes must have just rearranged the words without me knowing. I was wondering why you were so enamored with me when I read it the first time,” Levi said in a monotone voice, keeping the smirk that was straining to ride across his face from showing itself.

(Y/N) huffed and placed both hands on her hips, tilting her head in exasperation despite the twitching of her lips as she tried to keep her features straight.

“Sure you did,” (Y/N) said, sarcasm dripping from her words before she finally caved, letting a bright smile flash across her lips.

Levi’s breath caught at the sight of that beaming smile, but he shoved down the feeling that rose in his throat. Shaking his head, Levi allowed himself to give up the title of Captain for a moment, and let his own lips curve into a smile.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes playfully, ignoring her fluttering heart, before moving back to her chair and pulling out a new sheet of paper, directing him to write the sentences correctly this time.

“I’m pretty sure this is emotional abuse,” Levi deadpanned, earning him a light slap on the arm from the back of her hand.

“It is not!”

“Really? Because I think my feelings are hurt now.”

“Oh for god sakes…”

The two bantered back and forth while they worked until the moon was starting to sink below the horizon, the night sky turning from black to a navy blue. Standing up with a yawn and a stretch, (Y/N) gathered her things and made her way to the door.

“Goodnight Captain, see you tomorrow,” (Y/N) said with a wink and a smile, closing the door gently behind her.

Levi let out a grunt of annoyance but couldn’t deny the warm feeling that was heating his heart and making his nerves tingle as he stared at the door she had just disappeared through, the page of sentences about them still clutched in his palm.

________________________

Levi knew it was his idea to keep everything a secret, knew it was him who told (Y/N) to act professional around him when they weren’t in the safety of his office late at night, but now, as the meeting he was in dragged on forever, Levi felt as if he would give anything to be able to participate in their normal banter, her good sense of humor and sweet voice always turning his bad days around. He hated to admit it, but he was starting to regret making everything secret. He found himself wanting to sit next to her when they ate in the Mess Hall, wanting to spar with her during training, wanting to invite her on a horseback ride around the base.

He shook his head to redirect his train of thought, trying to force himself to focus on the map Erwin was going over for the next mission. He trained his gaze on Erwin’s finger, watching as the giant blonde traced a trail on the map, explaining where each squad was going to be located. But his mind kept straying, against his will, to the woman sitting beside him. He had the urge to brush his shoulder against hers like he sometimes did during their midnight sessions. He then had the worse urge to place his hand on her thigh, to run his fingers along her covered flesh and trace random patterns on her pant leg.

Levi blinked a few times, desperately trying to get himself out of this rut before he did something stupid like act on said urges. He knew (Y/N) probably wouldn’t even react if he touched her leg, maybe a confused look in his direction, or maybe even the light flushing of her cheeks, but it was the other people in the meeting he was worried about. He knew that for them, if he did something like that, it would be completely uncalled for.

He was starting to get really frustrated with himself, his thoughts caving in on themselves no matter how hard he tried to redirect his focus on the meeting. He wanted nothing more than for it to be the middle of the night, back in the safety of his office with (Y/N) by his side, laughing with him and making him feel more human than he had ever felt, and his heart knew that; was using it against him.

Suddenly, all of his senses narrowed to the feeling of something lightly brushing his own thigh. Glancing down as subtly as possible, Levi’s eyes widened as he saw (Y/N)’s hand resting lightly against his leg, a small piece of paper held in between her thumb and pointer finger. Levi was careful not to draw attention to himself as he reached down and took the paper from her, trying to ignore the cold feeling that washed over his body when she drew her hand back.

Pretending to read the notes in front of him, Levi opened the piece of paper, making sure nobody was watching him with quick glances around the room. Luckily, everyone around him was focused on the map Erwin was using, which gave him enough time to glance down at the tiny piece of paper.

“Why don’t we do some reading and writing practice since you’re obviously so entertained by this meeting? What are you thinking about?”

Levi fought the urge to snort and grabbed his pen, subtly writing his own note and passing it back in the same way she did for him.

“Why the hell should I tell you?”

He saw (Y/N) smile out of the corner of his eye and his lips twitched. (Y/N) stashed the note in her pocket and picked up her own pen to write another.

“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking if you tell me. A thought for a thought.”

Levi wrote back.

“Will it be worth it?” 

“I guess you will just have to find out.”

Levi really fought back a smirk that time and was quick to write back a response, glancing up every so often to make sure nobody was watching them. This was a dance between the two of them, no spectators needed.

“Fine. I’m thinking that this meeting is stupid and I want to go back to my office.”

(Y/N) smiled when she read his note.

“What else?”

“What do you mean, ‘what else’? That’s what I was thinking.”

“Levi…”

“God damn it, fine! I was thinking that I wish we could talk outside of my office.”

Levi watched nervously as (Y/N)’s brow furrowed when she read his note, her reply slower in its delivery this time.

“Why would you want to talk to me?”

Levi frowned.

“I’m not answering that. It’s well past my turn. It’s your turn now, what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that Erwin has large bushy eyebrows.”

Levi raised an eyebrow at her note before responding.

“That’s stupid.”

“It’s what I was thinking! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was the award for the most philosophical train of thought ceremony.”

Levi had to stop himself from chuckling at that one, resulting in a low coughing sound that made Erwin pause.

“Levi, are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine Erwin, just a cough, proceed.”

Erwin watched Levi for a second before shrugging his shoulders and going back to the plans in front of him, moving on from talking about the route to the battle tactics they were going to have to use on the mission. Levi had to refrain from rolling his eyes as he heard Erwin talk. Levi already knew all of this, this meeting was nothing more than a waste of time.

A light tap on his thigh reminded him of their previous little game before Erwin interrupted, and Levi quickly moved to write her back.

“It’s not, brat. But I know you better than that, what were you really thinking?”

“Alright, alright, I’m thinking that you’re right, this meeting is boring, and I wish I could talk to you outside of your office too.”

“Why would you want to talk to me?”

Levi subtly smiled at her when she flashed him a glare at the mocking message on the note she had gotten from him.

“Because despite your main personality facet being dickhead, you actually can be less of an asshole sometimes. Sometimes I even kind of like you.”

“Like me? Are you feeling alright, (Y/N)? Maybe I should take you to the infirmary…”

“I know right? Something must be wrong with me.”

“Alright, that concludes today’s meeting. Remember to prepare yourselves, all of our missions are difficult, but this one could be devastating if we aren’t careful,” Erwin said, bringing (Y/N) and Levi out of their own world and back into the meeting.

“Yes sir!” the collective voices of the soldiers in the room rang out, each one saluting the Commander before filing out.

Levi looked at the Commander for a minute while he saluted him, his eyes narrowing on his face. When they had been dismissed, Levi turned and, when he was sure nobody was watching, leaned down to whisper in (Y/N)’s ear.

“You’re right, Erwin does have bushy eyebrows.”

________________________________

After that meeting in Erwin’s office, (Y/N) and Levi couldn’t stop the game they had started. The pair would find any excuse to meet each other and exchange notes, sometimes hiding them in the most ridiculous places for the other to find.

Levi found one stashed under his tea cup in the cupboard when he went to brew himself some of the calming brew one morning. (Y/N) found one rolled up and hidden neatly in between the cogs of her ODM gear. It was a dance, a game that the two of them shared, both of them entertaining the other with conversations about nothing and everything. They found it was the perfect way to further solidify their surprisingly strong friendship without everyone else asking questions about why they were so close in the first place, Levi still wanting to keep his past illiteracy a secret.

Good morning, Levi! Thought for a thought: I am thinking that you are an ass for making us work so hard yesterday during training. I’m pretty sure my legs are useless now, gone forever. Maybe as punishment I should make you practice writing love letters to every female cadet in the Survey Corps. Have a good day!

~(Y/N)

Levi chuckled as he read the note he had found tucked up in the nameplate on his door that morning, immediately moving back into his office to write her back.

Morning (Y/N). Thought for a thought: You’re a drama queen. Do you want to survive in this world or not? If your legs are gone, they will come back. Also, if you make me write love letters to the women of the Corps, I will end you. Have a good day yourself.

~Levi

Levi pocketed the note and left his office to start the day, eager to hide the note in (Y/N)’s coffee tin.

____________________________

(Y/N) smiled as she read Levi’s note, her eyes sparkling with mirth. It was just so him. She could almost hear him telling her that he was going to end her in person, his eyes narrowed and his brow creased in annoyance at the thought of writing love letters. It made (Y/N) giggle lightly, waving off her friends when they gave her confused looks.

Thought for a thought: Good point. I guess I would rather have sore legs than death. It was kind of a toss up at first, didn’t really know which one I’d prefer, but I guess you’re right. All kidding aside though, that mission is coming up tomorrow, are you doing okay? I don’t want to stress you out, so maybe we shouldn’t do our reading session tonight? We both need to get some rest and the last thing I want is for you to be distracted. Take care of yourself and please don’t die tomorrow.

~(Y/N)

(Y/N) put the note in her pocket and rejoined her friends, who were waving at her to follow them to the training grounds for one last field test of the ODM gear. (Y/N) touched the note in her pocket, figuring she could put it in one of Levi’s sword slots on his gear set. She felt surprisingly sad at the thought of not being able to spend the night hanging out with Levi, but she knew he needed to focus. He was important, not just to the Corps but to her. The surly Captain had definitely grown on her ever since she had been assigned by Erwin to help him with his paperwork, especially since she started teaching him how to read and write. She just wanted to keep him safe. 

She would easily consider him to be her closest friend, the one who knew the most about her, her tongue becoming magically loose when she was around him. But he had never judged her, never told a soul any of what she said, always just listening silently, his entire attention focused on her. She sighed and touched the paper in her pocket again, reminding herself that even though he was the strongest person she knew, he was also still human and needed to be protected at all costs.

Raising her head up, (Y/N) set her face in determination and slipped the note into his gear as she put her own equipment on, readying herself for her final flight test within the safety of the walls before she was exposed to the hell of the world in the morning.

____________________________

Levi had felt his heart sink when he read (Y/N)’s note. He knew she was right, they both needed rest and staying up until the early hours of the morning, reading to each other, was not the best way to go about that, but it still made him upset. 

The two of them had developed a routine. She came to his office every night after the curfew of the soldiers. What had started out as a secret way for Levi to learn how to read had morphed into a time when the both of them could just be themselves. It was the only time where Levi allowed himself to smile, to laugh, to crack jokes and to act playful. He loved how (Y/N) made him feel genuinely human, not Humanity’s Strongest, not Captain Levi of the Survey Corps, just Levi.

He loved how she called him names without worrying about being punished. He loved how she teased him and challenged him in ways no other person ever had, aside from Isabel maybe. But even then, the sweet, energetic redhead had seen him as more of a brother rather than a friend, and hadn’t treated him in the same way (Y/N) did. The way they interacted was different than any other friendship Levi had ever had.

Sighing, Levi wrote (Y/N) back saying that he agreed with her, and placed the note on the bar of her left stirrup on her saddle. Once he was sure the note was in a place nobody else would see, Levi left the stable where he had been taking care of his horse and headed back to his office, readying himself for his last night in the safety of the walls.

___________________________

Levi tossed and turned in his bed, one leg under the covers and one leg out, his body both too hot and too cold as he tried fruitlessly to get comfortable. He was normally prone to insomnia, but this was one of the worst episodes he’d ever had. He didn’t want to admit it, but he knew why.

An image of (Y/N) flashed across his mind and he growled in frustration. She had to be fast asleep by now, there was no point in even entertaining the idea of seeing her. He just needed to get a grip on himself and go the fuck to sleep. He had never had a problem with sleeping by himself before, he could do this. Just because he hadn’t spent a couple of hours hanging out with (Y/N) didn’t mean anything. He could do this.

Levi took deep breaths, trying to force himself to relax. He closed his eyes and rolled over, moving his hands and legs into different positions, trying anything to fall asleep. When all of his attempts failed, he was just about ready to bite the bullet and start getting ready for the very long day ahead of him when he heard the sound of his door being opened very quietly.

Levi looked over, his eyes narrowed, ready to tear someone a new asshole when he froze. Standing in the doorway, shuffling her feet nervously, was (Y/N). Levi felt like he could’ve cried in relief, her presence already soothing him, but he forced himself to focus. Something was clearly wrong.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Levi asked, sitting up and motioning for her to come over to him.

(Y/N) hesitated but eventually walked over to him. She swallowed hard, her head hanging down.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?” Levi asked as gently as he could, wincing a little at his rough voice.

When she still didn’t respond, Levi felt a little panicked, but managed to pull himself together.

“Thought for a thought?” Levi asked.

(Y/N) looked up and he smiled for her, trying to reassure her.

“What are you thinking about, (Y/N)?”

“I’m thinking I am being selfish.”

“How are you selfish?”

(Y/N) glared at him weakly. “Your turn first.”

“Oh yeah,” Levi said in a low voice that sent involuntary shivers down her spine. “I’m thinking I am worried about you. Now, why do you think you’re selfish?”

(Y/N) took a deep breath and swallowed again before answering. Levi waited patiently. He was an anxious mess on the inside, wanting to know what she was going to say, but he knew that if he rushed her that he would risk chasing her away, and he definitely did not want that.

“I am selfish because I care about you and I want you to be safe. I am selfish because I know you need this rest to do well tomorrow but I can’t stay away from you. I am selfish because I want to be near you all the time and I am tired of the hiding. I want to be nice to you even when we aren’t alone. I want to joke around with you and laugh with you and smile at you and not have it be weird. I am selfish because I want all of that even though I know that doing so would humiliate you, that it would reveal your secret of having trouble with reading and writing, that it would just cause more problems for you.” (Y/N) closed her eyes and clenched her fists at her sides. “I’m sorry, Levi.”

“What the hell are you sorry for?” Levi asked incredulously. 

“I’m sorry for ruining what we had with my stupid feelings.”

“Do you know what I’m thinking, (Y/N)?”

(Y/N) shook her head.

“I’m thinking you’re an idiot. You’re not selfish, never have been. All you have ever done for me is help me, even when nobody else cared. You were always the first, the first to care, the first to be my friend, the first to make me genuinely laugh, the first to make me feel like I am worth something. You are not selfish. I want those things too, (Y/N). You have no idea how many times I’ve just wanted to crack a joke in front of everyone and listen to your laughter fill the hall.”

(Y/N) peeked at him from behind her (h/c) hair, her (e/c) eyes shining with tears.

“Did you know that this whole time I have been unable to sleep because we didn’t spend time together this evening like we always do? This night has been fucking miserable without you. Your feelings about this, about everything, are not one sided.”

(Y/N) looked up then, moving her hair out of her face and wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, a watery smile running across her face.

“Do you know what I am thinking, Levi?” (Y/N) asked.

Levi shook his head.

“I am thinking that I want you to hold me, if you’re comfortable.”

Levi didn’t respond, he just held his arms out for her. (Y/N)’s smile widened and she slowly sank into his embrace, following him as he laid down, his arms holding her against him so they were facing away from each other, her back curled up against his chest.

“Do you know what I am thinking, (Y/N)?”

“No.”

“I like this. I am thinking that I like holding you and I already know I will love being held by you. How do you feel about it?”

“I’m thinking that I love being in your embrace too, Levi. I feel so warm and safe right now, like I can’t be harmed,” (Y/N) said.

Levi tightened his grip around her, burying his face into the back of her neck, reveling in the warm feeling of her pulse and the sweet smell of her shampoo.

“Thought for a thought?” Levi whispered softly after a moment of silence, his eyes closed so that his eyelashes lightly tickled the back of (Y/N)’s neck.

“Go ahead,” (Y/N) said.

“I’m thinking…, that I love you,” Levi said shakily, his heart clenching nervously at her gasp. “I’m thinking that I’ve felt this way for a while but I never understood it. I’m thinking that I have a hard time with words but that you needed to hear this, and for you, I’d do anything. I’m thinking that you take my b-breath away. I’m thinking that I wish I knew how to say more, what to say to make you feel good, but that I can’t other than to say that I l-love you with every shitty inch of my being.”

(Y/N) turned around in his embrace, his arms loosening around her just enough to allow her to move. Levi felt the anxiety attacking his heart, his nerves fraying at the seams as he scanned her tear-streaked face, searching for any sign that he had just fucked everything up.

Levi was surprised instead by a passionate kiss, her warm lips nearly attacking his in her desperation. Levi choked out a chuckle that devolved into a groan as he kissed back hungrily, his arms tightening around her once more. When they broke apart, they were both panting, (Y/N)’s eyes sparkling with love as she met his intense silver stare.

“I’m thinking that I love you too, Levi. I’m thinking that my only regret is that I didn’t tell you sooner, that I missed out on this feeling for longer than I would have. Other than that, I am thinking I am now the luckiest girl in the world. You are amazing, and special, and important in so many ways. Not just because of your title as Humanity’s Strongest, but also because of you as a person. I love you, Levi, so much.”

Levi pulled her back up for another kiss, this one as equally passionate as before, but more gentle, his lips moving over hers in a sweet yet firm caress, making her nerves tingle and her heart light on fire. Holding her close, Levi wrapped himself around (Y/N) completely, resting his chin on top of her head as she buried her face in his chest.

“Take care of yourself, brat. Please, don’t die tomorrow. I can’t lose you,” Levi mumbled.

“You will never lose me, Levi, that, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I didn’t.”

Levi looked down at her one more time, his eyes scanning the determination in her gaze before giving her a light peck on the forehead.

“Good, because I’m going to need someone to keep bossing me around and calling me an idiot.”

(Y/N) flicked his shoulder in tired retaliation and Levi smiled as he felt her own grin against his skin.

“Someone has to keep you in line.”

“Thank gods, it’s you,” Levi said, hiding his grin by pressing his face into her hair, her warm body and sweet scent allowing him to drift off to sleep, the two new lovers enjoying their calm moment of peace together before they would be sent off into hell in the morning.