#calm tf down it's not that serious damn

[i-am-simply-here]

[ruloaapaul]

how to enter the void for an anxious bitch who's procastinating &being dumb as fuck cs shes scared she cant enter the void....

“HOW TO ENTER THE VOID FOR A SCARED, PROCRASTINATING BITCH!.” 🫐

oh, so you’re out here procrastinating, scared of the void like it’s some big, bad monster under your bed? B*TCH, BE SERIOUS. you’re the one making it difficult, not the void. you’re running from pure consciousness like a dumbass, when it’s literally just YOU with all the bullsh*t stripped away. get it together.

1) shut the fuck up and lay tf down. - oh, you’re too anxious to enter? baby, that’s cute. you know what else is anxiety-inducing? wasting your whole damn life making excuses instead of taking what’s yours.

- lay the fuck down. right now. not tomorrow. NOW.

- get comfy and don’t move. stop fidgeting like a crackhead.

- close your eyes and RELAX. the void isn’t gonna chase you down—you have to let yourself sink into it.

2) stop thinking like a DUMBASS. - oh, but you’re scared you can’t enter? Congrats, dumbass, now you really won’t. your assumptions create. if you keep telling yourself you “can’t” do it, then you’re manifesting failure instead of the void.

- start affirming NOW: “i enter the void easily.” say it until it sticks.

- whenever your brain spirals, REJECT THAT SH*T. if doubt creeps in, say: “i’m in the void now, NEXT.”

- fake it till you make it, bitch. if you assume you’re already in the void, guess what? you fucking are.

3) use your anxiety to your advantage. - you think your anxiety is stopping you? B*TCH, USE IT. anxiety makes your brain hyper-focus, right? so instead of obsessing over bullshit, obsess over NOTHING.

- focus on your breathing, a sound, or even a fake-ass scenario until everything else fades away.

- your brain wants to spiral? GOOD. spiral into the void. let yourself mentally detach from everything.

- BAM, YOU’RE IN. you just used your dumb little anxiety to get what you wanted. ICONIC.

4) stop waiting, stop thinking, let go. - you’re waiting to feel ready? B*TCH, YOU NEVER WILL. you just have to DO IT. the second you stop overthinking, the void takes over automatically.

- if you feel tingling, heaviness, or disconnection, DON’T PANIC. LET IT HAPPEN.

- if you feel your body going numb, GOOD. stay calm and fall through it.

- if you catch yourself doubting, too bad, b*tch, you’re already in. OWN IT.

FINAL WARNING: STOP BEING A SCARED BITCH AND ENTER THE VOID. -

no more “what if I can’t.” YOU CAN.

no more “I’ll try tomorrow.” B*TCH, TOMORROW IS FOR WEAK HOES.

no more procrastinating. you’re either doing it or staying a loser. pick one.

you wanna keep sitting here, scrolling, making excuses, or do you wanna be THAT B*TCH who entered the void and manifested her dream life? GET IN THE VOID OR GET LEFT BEHIND.

now go lay down, shut up, and enter. NO EXCUSES.

[sky-is-the-limit]

Saw you're accepting asks, so I'm sending this instead of going to therapy! A toxic situationship of mine is now love bombing and gaslighting me into getting back together and despite my better judgment, I'm weak and pathetic enough to be seriously considering it. How would the tf141 react? The tf can be platonic and/or unrequited feelings (readers? Cause lord knows im not loveable but thats to be unpackes another day). Sorry, I'm spiraling 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️

How Task Force 141 would react to you considering going back to your toxic situationship:

Captain Price:

John would take a straightforward approach. He’d sit you down with a cup of tea, holding your hand as he tells you, ''You deserve better than this, love. Real men don’t treat women that way.'' He’d remind you of your worth, letting you know that no one with any decency would ever put you through such torment. He’d then mention, almost casually, that he had a word with your situationship earlier when he was about to knock at your door—strongly suggesting the guy won’t be bothering you again if he values his hands.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick:

The poor guy would struggle with his emotions, finding it hard to stay calm. ''Are you serious? After everything he’s done?'' He’d ask, pacing the room in frustration. He’d urge you to see that there are better men out there, men who’d do anything for you, who would kill and die to be with you—men like him. The words would slip out, revealing more than he intended but he’d be too worked up to care about holding back.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish:

He wouldn’t hold back his anger. ''I’ll just take him out, then!'' He’d exclaim, half-joking but serious enough to make you worry. He’d rant about how the world would be better off without that guy, throwing out threats left and right. You’d have to calm him down but his reaction would make it clear just how much he cares about you and how serious he is about keeping you away from someone who doesn’t deserve you. If sweet, easygoing Johnny is this furious, maybe it's time that you listen to him.

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

Simon wouldn’t hold back. "Have you lost your damn mind?" He’d ask bluntly, not sugar-coating it. He’d lay it all out, questioning what’s left of your self-worth if you go back to that coward. His words would be rough but they’d come from a place of concern, wanting you to see the reality. He wouldn’t just stop at words, though. Later, he'd find the guy and pin him against the wall, spitting out a dark promise, "If you even think of contacting her again, I’ll send you back to your mother in a casket."

Note: You're not weak or pathetic, you're strong enough to realise that you deserve better. Don't take him back, your feelings are not a charity. Find within you the dignity and self-worth that you posses cause no man has the right to make you feel that way. Please, choose yourself for once. Picture the child you once were, they don't deserve this. One day you will be loved so much that even the though of him will make you repulse, that is, if you even remember him. He's not worth your love, you are.

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

leoichi as adoptive parents hcs! | platonic, found family, two goobers and a 'baby'.

they're just dumb and in love. both with each other, and you.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

𝒂/𝒏: this is just pure brainrot tbh. shameless self indulgence of these dorks. word vomit that I definitely tried to format in a someday coherent way. ridiculous amount of fluff imho. the embodiment of spongebob's house when it got sucked dry by all them sea worms......whatever tf they were: yeah that's my brain being reduced to mush after FINALLYYYYY getting it all out. /lhj

Say it with me, now. *raises hands like a maestro* Blaaaaaaaame the brainnnnwoorrrrmmmss. 🐛💥🧠

anyway enjoy your ✨fruitbowl parents✨ agenda. ᡣ𐭩

leo 🫐

such. a mother.

always fretting over your health and safety :(( he just wants you to be safe !! happy !! healthy !! always.

big hugger/cuddler: i’m talking big ol’ bear hugs, snuggles, smothering your face in kisses, play-fighting (he makes sure not to hurt you!), head rubs/pats, the whole shabang.

of course, if you’re not comfortable with physical touch– he doesn’t overstep your boundaries!

there are so many different ways he showcases his love and affection to you; he’s a very caring parent.

very protective over you.

not in the prohibiting/constrictive sense, but in the best way that you know he’s always got your back.

both him and yui are fairly protective over you– and both of them always got your back– dgmw, but leo will throw down if your reputation/safety is on the line.

teaches you boundaries (in all aspects including others and yourself) and how to enforce them. gets a bit violent when protecting yours in the moments your boundaries are crossed.

you're his baby and nobody’s allowed to mess w his babies >:((

don’t get me started ✋🏼 on if it’s a.... *speaks cautiously* bullying situation.

NONEEEE OF Y’ALL ARE LEAVING THAT DINGY SCHOOL OFFICE WITHOUT JUSTICE BEING SERVED LMAOOAOOOO

as much as he clowns the aspect of them, leo can be a bit of a karen himself when it comes to your reputation/safety!

(& truthfully i think yui would play peacekeeper of sorts, especially if leo starts getting really heated but that's only if it escalates really badly. but tbh he can be just as intense. they're both always ready to throw down for you, anywhere, anytime.)

real talk: it's not so much the child as it will be the parents leo snarks at. he’s knowledgeable in the fact that behaviors are learned. taught.

while intolerant to any behavioral that bring you discomfort, he's glaring holes into the parental figures/guardians, hackles raised, and Lord above is it more. than enough.

leo – for all the jokester that he is – knows how to hunker down and get serious and boy oh boy does that man get serious when his beloveds are involved.

he is very good at reading people. he has a sharp judge of character. and he'll take up any business with whoever is responsible for your offender's-in-question wellbeing; if their behaviors reflect the hostilities you were met with.... well, there's not really much else to say, is there?

he'll throw down with the parents and he'll throw down wITH THE KID(S) TOO HE DOES NOT GIVE A FRESH DAMN.

girl fu them kids and fu you too energy. /hj

everybody’s getting schooled on this day and it ain’t gonna be by the teachers. 💥💥💥

takes you out for food and sweet treats after such a harrowing ordeal 😮‍💨 is probably still ranting long after they've picked you up from school and has to he calmed down by yui lol. and if you don’t like sweets, he’ll get you a cute little gift from the shops! :)

he just wants to see you smile, man. 💔 anything for you.

later on, back home, he sits you down and speaks to you in a warm, lovely tone. he inquires about anything else that might've gone down, any icky thoughts in that little head of yours..?

reassures you that none of it was your fault. comforts you in every way possible because like i said, leo is very good at reading people. how much more would he get to know you— his child? he knows how to make you feel better. no matter what.

but on the chance that you may have started something.... mmmm.

his parental patented scolding techniques come in. probs the "I'm not mad, just Disappointed." type. AND IT HURTTTTTS EVERY SINGLE TIME.

(but this is Very Rare seeing as he'd raise you with manners and good behavior he don't play none of that mess.)

you don't have to say anything. you can say something, deny it. affirm it. if it bothered you, genuinely, he'll know. if it didn't — he'll know it too.

either way, he ruffles your head and smiles that smile down at you. "you're everything to me. you know that, right?"

you do.

calls you by the cutest endearments in spanish !! the most common are: mijo/a, mi tesoro, mi vida, burbuja/burbujita, and cielo. mi is always a constant at the front of them :')) he's just so proud that you're his kid.

speakin’ of which– if you speak Spanish/pick it up from him, he gets so smiley and giddy :(( and y’all just have convos of silly jokes and sweet nothings that seem like not much out the ordinary in the moment but it's memories in the making and you look back on them and and, he just looks at you with so much fondness and :((( i am so SAD.

sings to you a lot. especially by means of comfort. sure, he'll burst into an impromptu dance and song number that's so ridiculous, so silly, but so entertaining that it's bound to put a smile on your face (his ulterior motives all along muahahahaaa!).

he also sings you lullabies. especially when you have a nightmare that's shaken you badly enough to tears. he's by your side in an instant, shushing you gently, wiping your face and reassuring you that he's there and that he won't let anything hurt you, ever.

movie night cuddles! if you and yui fall asleep before him, he'll adjust so you're all in one big cuddle pile. in the following morning he'll lightheartedly complain about it, but trust me. it's his favorite thing ever. (being curled up and cozy and safe with the two biggest centers of his universe.)

takes you to see your favorite uncles, aunties, and grampa splinter! sometimes he'll sit back and just watch you interact with them, his Proud Dad™ aura threatening to soften him and everyone in his closest vicinity to mush, and only snaps out of it when met with a teasing quip from one of his siblings.

casey is the cool nomad older brother/uncle figure who visits every so often and he's just, so exceedingly cool to you. he brings you souvenirs from his travels and spends a lot of quality time with you - y'all's relationship is lighthearted and fun loving!

—and leo cries because his kids omg his- their kids are so stinkin cute and wholesome and yui yui,,they really built themselves their castle on the hill didn't they omgomgomgomg guaaaaueueueuueue *cue rabbit paw shoulder pats of support*

because of leo's insomnia, he's your constant nighttime company. on the nights where sleep just doesn't come so easily, you can count to find him lounging about in the house somewhere. he'll fret gently if he sees you awake at an ungodly hour, but ultimately welcomes you with open arms.

▹▹ p. s. his chest is a prime cuddle-hug-back-to-sleep haven. with his deep churrs, one large hand rubbing comfortingly over your back, the warmth that creates coupled with the natural coolness from his body - it'll have you out like a light. worked when you were younger, works now. always will.

always the jokester, sooososo many jokes and lighthearted teasing with this guy. of course we know his jokes are insufferably constant (what? he's a dad now! he can ACTUALLY USE DAD JOKES AND THEY'LL ACTUALLY HIT HOME!!), but get this: the teasing - while good-natured - comes with the afterthought of teaching you subconsciously to hold your ground. it's his way of "raising you tough."

howbeit: if you're naturally sensitive, leo will protect it with all he's got. reassures you that sensitivity does not equal weakness and gets his esteemed example to deepen those teachings!

(( "look at uncle angie!! he cried over the fact that snakes don't have any arms yesterday. (/ref + /lh) and he's one of the strongest in our hamato-usagi battalion!"

"why would you say tone indicators out loud, papa?" ))

it's just— the world can be a dark and unforgiving place, with even darker and more unforgiving people.

as much as it pains him, he knows him and yuichi aren't always going to be there to protect you from every little thing. forever seems like it right now, but you still have so much growing to do.

he wants to make sure you'll be able to hold your own. not only physically, but emotionally/verbally.

the principles and lessons he teaches you are tidbits of gold that shape your mind and future and you carry them with you for a long time to come, whether you know it or not.

to conclude this- trust. you definitely know how to fight. at the very most defend yourself and others if need be !! i mean c'mon: you're the heir to a ninja and a samurai ! you know how to throw a punch just as well as you can parry it.

while they teach you the core value of never starting the fight and walking away to deescalate, they also teach you to kick names and take ass. (/ref) ain't nobody messin' with you, champ. 😎

—and if they do? they have a wholeeee clan to deal with now. because anyone who has a problem with you has a problem with all of your family — both sides.

in living out their motto, anata wo hitori janai, with you — he seems to relearn it in a special way each and every time.

and he wouldn't have it any other way. <3

yuichi 🍇

doesn’t always use pet names, but he says your name so fondly all the time – just beholds you like you’re the absolute treasure of his life (which you basically are tbh) – it feels like an endearment all its own.

your gentle force: he’s the one you turn to when everything gets too loud, too harsh, too overwhelming, too much.

y’all are mad in tune; all it takes is one look (not specifically in the eyes).

he’d pull you close. his fur is warm, soft, smells like tea leaves and incense and home.

given the situation – if you wanted silence, that’s what he’d give you.

if you needed something other than the ringing in your ears, something other than your mind, he hums.

he hums, pets your head, rocks you back and forth – right there in his lap. (you’ll never be too big, too old, for them to hold you.)

if you don't prefer being held, he'll give you your space. rest assured, he's respectful just like leo and doesn't ever want to make you uncomfortable. but he does stay close. if you ever need him, he'll always be close by.

even if you guys don't talk, it's just reassuring having his presence close by. to know you're not (and never will be) alone.

he holds you .... in a different way. 🥹

if you need words, he tells you every little thing he loves about you. tells you why you’re his.

he tells you how he admires you– not only as his child, but as an individual.

he reminds you that you will always have a place in his heart, nestled right between leo.

for all his harebrained-ness (see what i did there? *wheeze, knee slap*) – there’s no second-guessing his intense fondness for you. alongside leo, you're his heart and he moves in it every single day.

his friends are all your godparents.

now hear me out: yes, they could all be your aunties/uncles, and in a way they are!!

i mean, that's what you call them sometimes too! but gen, chisa and kitsune are his platonic soulmates. they just... locked in. 🔐🫂

so they're all just that little bit closer than your standard "auntie" and "uncle." ❤️‍🩹

they're your favorite babysitters. on yuichi's side of the family, anyway!

yui is a bit of a klutz, but somehow. he always. manages. to catch you. before you fall. before you even have the chance to trip up!

chalk it up to his samurai honed skills, his training paying off, his newfound parental instincts, a whirlwind of all three! he will gladly fall ass over kettle because he'll be damned if you're at risk to gain a scratch or two on his watch.

onlookers would suspect that leo is the more "involved" parent between them both, but that's a load of crock.

be it because yui's aura isn't as imposing as his beloved turtle counterpart that leads to this train of thought or not, it couldn't be farther from the truth! yui is the one who's constantly hovering (/pos).

he moves seamlessly, as natural as air, through the movements of your life that sometimes... it can almost seem like he isn't there. but like air, you know he's there, and you reap the benefits every single day.

cuddles with him are supreme as well! he's fluffy and warm. his embrace just speaks volumes of safety and familiarity.

every time you're near him you feel a little sleepy because it's so warm and safe :(( especially if you're not feeling too good! when you're feeling under the weather, he's the first you subconsciously seek out :'((((((

makes sure you're getting your food groups every single day. fruit and veggie platters, afternoons spent in the garden outside of your home, sunshine and the smell of fresh soil and sliced cucumbers are what made your childhood summers just that more magical.

scolds leo if he feeds you too much junk loll.

yuichi is like your vitamin, both figuratively and literally. he's learned so much from growing up on the farm with his grandmother, natural remedies are his forte.

in this additional sense, he teaches you farm work. four times out of ten, it ends in disaster, maybe or maybe not including a massacred watermelon grove, but through trial and error, you've managed to keep a good portion of accurate agriculture and gardening knowledge ingrained in the long-term area of your brain. 🙏🏼

gets nervous when you go out :(( he's of course happy that you get your freedom, but he can't help but to feel antsy whenever you're out of he and leo's sights; it's not that he doesn't trust you, he's just a worrywart /aff.

so! without fail, each time: before you go out, he'll kneel down to gently bonk foreheads with you, closes his eyes, and speaks an old Japanese blessing of safety and wellbeing over you. something he learned from his grandmother.

whereas leo is ecstatic to teach you the way of the sword (and is methodical with it too dw), yuichi may as well faint himself into a coma each time.

he gets much better when you're older, of course, even teaches you himself. but when you were younger? heeeheesh.... nobody. will forget the incident at the 6th Birthday Party Swordsmanship Knighthood Round Table Esk Extravaganza.

(fake blood was involved. a lighthearted prank gone wrong amidst the already electric atmosphere of cake and fun. a prank gone hard hearted, if you will. yuichi fainted twice, vomited once, and catapulted leo out of a window. the pigs got out of the pen. the koi fish were fished out of the pond. law enforcement was contacted. donnie's confetti canons backfired at one point. you guys are still finding glitter in random spots in the house to this day. it was madness.)

takes you on hikes and new adventures! you guys are always getting into something, whether it's discovering a new shadow dancing group in town's square or accidentally liberating a herd of cattle from a neighboring farmhouse auction, these make the best memories with him. because he exuded glee and held you close the entire time.

in calm moments, yui would recount tales of his ancestors to you. especially that of his great great grandfather (?? how many greats were there I'm sorry ajshdjd) - while you look up at him in wonder.

and in moments when you're not looking- he looks at you in wonder too. a wonder that only a parent could hold for their beloved child.

—

your dads sing to you. they both do that a lot, actually.

i imagine you get so used to hearing a little croon here, a gentle hum there … so much so that pure radio silence settles discomfort in your bones. there was always something.

even the little things that nudge you a reminder in the subconscious voices of your parents: you're here, you're alive, we're here for you, we'll always be here for you, i love you.

their songs make your outlook on life a little lighter. something more melodic. like the songs they sing you.

home becomes a song to you, unconsciously.

if someone were to ask you to define home to you . . .

it’s the bone-crushing hugs of your turtle dad. the deep, all-encompassing warmth. the smell of tea leaves, incense, bamboo wood – the sound of soft laughter, sing-songy words, horrendous dad jokes and endless puns. the constant words of affirmation that pick you up in your lowest moments and raise you even higher at your best. the gentle forehead bonks. both: sci-fi comics series and legends of samurai and ninja alike as wondrous bedtime stories. warm eyes, even warmer hands grasping yours. reassurance. safety. the love of your family.

love incarnate.

storge.

home is love. love is home.

—

with parents like them,

you will never go hungry.

you will never cry nor be alone.

you will never fight with nobody by your side. 

you will never be unwanted.

you will never sing songs of your sorrow without it being sunrisen by joy.

you will never, ever go unloved.

you're the brightest light in their lives and they make sure you know it, every single day! 🌟

© ziipzeepzop-eez all reservations apply.

[huhyuhbah]

Another late liveblog :|| had an incredibly stressful evening so I'm looking forward to calming down through this ep, hopefully. One thing also, I hope this ep is longer bc it felt like ep 17 was pretty short and it included 4 couples so the screen time for FaifaWine wasn't loads. Anyways, Perfect 10 Liners ep 18 liveblog.

Man tf is this alarm noise. That would scare me

It would be nice if it looked real. Also if Wine doesn't like having that many followers how come it's not a private acc ya know?

Pft

Is a damn clown car

Same girl sameeee. Catch me in the nursing home rewatching comfort bls

YOUUUUUUUU. Ah jeeeez. I thought it was gonna be something proper serious and Faifa was just gonna spill everything. Damn

Shouldn't even need to have an excuse. Just saying no should be enough -_- At least Faifa said something, it kinda felt like Wine would've just panicked and ended up saying yes in the end

[venusjaynie]

stranger things social media au part 3

this is eddie's party (which he threw at steve's house) and the aftermath of it !

cw: mentions of alcohol consumption and hangovers. steve being a jealous little shit in the comments

series masterlist

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

b.hargrove

Liked by nanceewheeler, heather_helloway, itsbuckleybitch and others.

b.hargrove: omw to harringtons to reclaim my crown as keg king

View comments.

johnnybyers: broooooo why is tommy hagan staring at your ass

↳ b.hargrove: no why are you actually right

↳ johnnybyers: lowkey sus

↳ y/ns.priv24: calm down among us

stevie.h: watch yourself hargrove. coming for your crown fr

↳ b.hargrove: id like to see you try harrington

↳ y/ns.priv24: stop flirting with my boyfriend bitch

↳ b.hargrove: HOW IS THAT FLIRTING

y/ns.priv24

Liked by nanceewheeler, johnnybyers, willthewise and others.

y/ns.priv24: beer pong but make it cider (cause nancy and i hate beer and the boys would clearly do anything for us including changing their favourite game)

View comments.

johnnybyers: the things we do for you girls

↳ y/ns.priv24: you love us

↳ johnnybyers: only sometimes

thefreakmunson: it was worth it cause i got to see you drunk off of 3 ciders

↳ y/ns.priv24: and 2 vodka lemonades

↳ stevie.h: and 2 tequila sunrises. c'mon munson keep up

↳ thefreakmunson: sure sure

willthewise: i'm telling mom you got drunk. she's gonna kill you

↳ y/ns.priv24: sorry kid that doesn't apply to me now that i'm 21

↳ willthewise: oh yeah. damn

b.hargrove: never changing the rules of beer pong for you guys ever again. find your own drinking game

↳ thefreakmunson: if you don't like the new game throw your own party then hargrove

↳ b.hargrove: shut up

stevie.h

Liked by y/ns.priv24, thefreakmunson, argyledude and others.

stevie.h: reckon i've got enough jello shots?

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: i call every single green one.

↳ stevie.h: baby youre such a lightweight youll be hammered after 3

↳ y/ns.priv24: i didnt ask?

↳ stevie.h: so petty

↳ y/ns.priv24: you love it

↳ itsbuckleybitch: get a room lovebirds

nanceewheeler

Liked by johnnybyers, thefreakmunson, itsbuckleybitch and others.

nanceewheeler: me and j xx

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: i think i deserve some credit for these amazing photography skills

↳ nanceewheeler: we appreciate your fantastic photo skills

↳ johnnybyers: nance is right. thank you for being amazing at photography (after i showed you the ropes) baby sis

↳ y/ns.priv24: youre more than welcome big brother

itsbuckleybitch: cuties

↳ nanceewheeler: ily

willthewise: jonathan you look drunk in this hahaha

↳ johnnybyers: hahahaha youre right

↳ argyledude: "look" sure thing bro

↳ y/ns.priv24: argyle when tf did you get insta

↳ argyledude: ive always had it. just prefer to stalk than to comment baby byers

↳ y/ns.priv24: valid. also will is baby byers

↳ argyledude: oh shit yeah you're right

itsbuckleybitch

Liked by b.hargrove, stevie.h, y/ns.priv24 and others.

itsbuckleybitch: these wimps should be grateful that they're friends with me and y/n cause eddie bought 2 six packs and thought it would be enough for everyone

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: me and rob supplying the good stuff (aka vodka) as per

↳ itsbuckleybitch: what would they do without us and my ID honestly

thefreakmunson: shut up guys i bought 3 six packs. that's 18 beers

↳ itsbuckleybitch: thank you for doing the math for me. i'm afraid i would've struggled if you didnt

↳ thefreakmunson: fuck you

madmaxx: can you save me some pls

↳ y/ns.priv24: yeah but don't tell billy

↳ b.hargrove: byers i swear to god if you give my little sister vodka ill kill you.

↳ y/ns.priv24: "little sister" aw you never call her that

↳ b.hargrove: i'm serious. do not give that kid vodka.

↳ y/ns.priv24: billy obviously i'm not going to give your sister vodka. that would be ridiculous (sorry max)

↳ madmaxx: ugh billy you're so annoying

---------------------------------

the aftermath

---------------------------------

itsbuckleybitch

Liked by y/ns.priv24, b.hargrove, itsbuckleybitch and others.

itsbuckleybitch: he woke up looking like this

View comments.

y/ns.priv: lookin sexy as ever baby

↳ stevie.h: youre so wrong for taking this pic

b.hargrove: man that keg challenge really took you out

↳ stevie.h: i know

thefreakmunson: jesus you're hanging wtf you only did the keg challenge

↳ stevie.h: have you ever done the keg challenge??

↳ thefreakmunson: not necessarily no but i know 2 people who have

↳ y/ns.priv24: i think you mean 3?? me steve and billy??

↳ thefreakmunson: HA you haven't done it don't play w me you don't even like beer

↳ b.hargrove: nah man she has. it's terrifying. she beat my record first try

↳ thefreakmunson: 😧

y/ns.priv24

Liked by nanceewheeler, itsbuckleybitch, willthewise and others.

y/ns.priv24: much needed hangover cuddles from nance

View comments.

nanceewheeler: i'm always here for hungover cuddles 🫶🫶

↳ y/ns.priv24: love you

stevie.h: where's my hangover cuddle :(

↳ thefreakmunson: "where ma hug at 🥺"

↳ y/ns.priv24: EDDIE LMFAO

↳ stevie.h: 😐

b.hargrove

liked by stevie.h, thefreakmunson, nanceewheeler and others.

b.hargrove: me and y/n on the mandatory hangover cure coffee run

View comments.

itsbuckleybitch: i better get my venti vanilla iced latte

↳ y/ns.priv24: dw bbg it's otw

↳ stevie.h: 'bbg' go fuck yourself what do you think this is

↳ b.hargrove: god someones jealous

↳ y/ns.priv24: sorry stevie. i can call you bbg if you want ;)

↳ itsbuckleybitch: yeah no lets not

thefreakmunson

thefreakmunson: shut the fucking blinds

View comments.

nanceewheeler: you could also just sleep somewhere else?

↳ thefreakmunson: i wish i could, but i cant. well... can but... wont. should, maybe, but... shornt...

↳ johnnybyers: wtf are you even saying

↳ thefreakmunson: what part of shornt dont you understand

↳ y/ns.priv24: yeah you no longer have netflix priveliges

↳ thefreakmunson: NO

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ugh these are so fun to make

[yanderecrazysie]

Resistance (Yandere Hinata)

A request from my Quotev!

This reads a little like a crack fic but I swear it’s serious adsgfdf

Title: Resistance

Pairings: Hinata x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, swearing, minor violence, forced cuddling, Hinata calm tf down

Summary: Hinata wants to cuddle and enjoy the day with his favorite person! You don’t.

resistance

/noun/

the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.

“(Y/n)! Where are you?”

Hinata’s voice comes out in a loud whine, as though he’s truly disappointed by your defiance.

He expected you to greet him in the evening, when he came back from volleyball practice or a big game. He expected you to watch his games on TV and tell him how amazing his spikes were when he walked through that damned front door.

As if.

You weren’t the type to hide from your captor, your attitude even more fiery than the color of his hair. Today though? You didn’t feel like dealing with his suffocating hugs and constant cuddling. His team had lost their game today and you had no intention of being some sort of comfort doll for him to cling onto and drag around the house every time he had to move.

You could hear him opening cabinets in the kitchen and almost laughed when you pictured yourself trying to fit in those tiny little drawers. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, to put it lightly.

“(Y/n)!” He was calling for you now, voice edged with worry. If he thought you’d escaped, he was, unfortunately, mistaken. There was no way to get out of a house so expertly locked like this one.

You sat on your shared bed, waiting for him to finally get a clue and check the bedroom. You may not put any effort in hiding, but you weren’t going down without a fight. Not if your handy broomstick had a say.

Plus, if this failed, he’d take away the brooms and you wouldn’t be expected to pick up that “chore” anymore. Fuck sweeping.

Steps on the stairs. You got to your feet and bristled, knuckles paling as you gripped the broom handle so tight you were concerned it might snap in half.

The bedroom door creaked open just a crack, Hinata’s dark eyes peeking through to see if you were hiding inside. You raised the broom with a war cry and charged.

SLAM.

The broom hit the now-closed door fruitlessly and you let out a frustrated screech.

“(Y/n), it’s okay, it’s just me!” If Hinata thought those words were soothing, he was sorely mistaken.

“Go away!”

Silence for just a moment, before, “Are you on your period?”

“Shut the fuck up!” You screamed, pure fury driving you to whack the broom against the closed door a few times in childish response. Hinata only sighed in response.

You knew he was stuck- he couldn’t come inside or you’d bash his head in, but he also had zero patience. He’d probably wait a while before trying to take you by surprise…

 You flung the door open and ambushed him with another war screech. His eyes widened in surprise, but he sidestepped you easily and grabbed the handle of the broom as it slammed down where he’d once been.

The two of you tugged on either side of the broom with all of your strengths, but it was clear from the beginning that Hinata, the trained athlete, was going to win this round. You let go suddenly, causing him to fall backwards onto the ground, still clutching the broom.

You thought you were above hiding, but desperate times do call for desperate measures.

Your heart pounds in your ears as you clamor down the stairs, Hinata’s cries for you to stop muffled by your panic-filled thoughts. The house you’d stayed in for nearly a year now was suddenly unfamiliar and much too big and small at the same time. You felt woozy.

His footsteps are heavy on the floorboards behind you, but you couldn’t stop running if you wanted to. You don’t want to be a prisoner anymore, but, if you can’t escape this house, maybe you could escape his smothering affection for just one day.

There will come a time when you’ll be too tired to outrun him, but, thankfully, it’s not now.

[jinxsmandalorianmalewife]

Okay here is part two….SOOOO SORRY ITS LATE!!!

Warnings: Angst, Death, loss of loved one.

Note: I tried my best to fix any mistakes on this one

Title: loving the snow queen is a losing game….part 2 ;)

That moment….that’s all you could think about….you wanted to know if she was okay….then you woke up. Pain was the first thing you felt, both from your head….and worries. The room was a guest room in the palace you figured Anna had someone put you in this room after you knocked yourself out on the hard frozen lake. All you could do was just sigh in emptiness. You looked out the window and saw that Summer had turned into Winter over night. Then the door opened and look who it was Anna she was relieved to see you awake. “Oh thank god your awake!” Anna said giving you a hug “How do you feel?” She asked you. “I feel….okay….” You said to her “though I do have a headache but nothing I can’t tolerate…” Anna nodded her head. She knew you were a tough but sweet cookie (NOT A SHIP!) you slowly got out of bed you were in your undergarments. Luckily a fresh pair of warm clothes was waiting for you on a table Anna left the room to let you change. Once you got dressed you opened the door and exited the guest room Anna was waiting for you. “You good to go?” She asked you. You simply nodded your head and off to the cold streets of Arendelle. Once you were outside Soldiers, guards, civilians, and nobles were all wondering how tf did it become so god Damn cold af outside?!?! Hanz was helping with getting everything warm food, blankets, and help as much as he could. Him and Anna were talking and while you helped out then you heard a certain noble weasel speak “It’s freezing out hear. That Damn sorceress!” That got your blood boiling so you spoke up like any good friend would do (Totally not because you simping for Elsa or anything) “Hey leave Elsa alone! She didn’t mean for any of this to happen!” You said in a aggressive manner “Why are you defending that Witch?!?! She nearly killed me!!” You did not give a single fuck “Well it gives you no right to call her any of those things!” “Well idc what a commoner like you thinks!” You wanted to punch him “Besides look around you! She’s cursed us!” You should punch him “Why are you even defending her Huh?!?! Are you in liege with her? Are you witch/wizard?!?” You really should punch him “Are you a monster just like her-“ you punched him…..really….really…..really…..Really….REALLY….REALLY…….good which launched him a couple feet away from you. “How dare you strike me!?!! I-I’ll shall have you punished for this!!!” “ENOUGH!” Anna shouted “That’s enough!….” She said in a serious tone “Listen I accidentally caused this I pushed her too far so I’m gonna go find her” Anna spoke which made everyone gasp in surprise. “Anna wait no you can’t it’s too dangerous” Hanz spoke with (fake) concern “Hanz I can take of myself besides she’s my sister she’d never hurt me” Anna said trying to defend her sister in a way “How can we trust you Hmmmm? what if your a witch too?!?!” The noble weasel spoke with only fuelled your dislike for him “Call her a witch one more time and I swear!” You spoke with fury. “Y/N calm down” Anna said to you while standing between you and that weasel “Anna please you can’t go it’s not safe!” Hanz spoke “She’s not going alone” You said loudly “I’m coming with her”. “Y/N you can’t idk if Elsa will hurt you or not” Anna spoke with concern “Anna you know that I know those woods like the back of my hand besides Elsa was my best friend so I’m going to find her whether you like or not” you spoke the truth Anna knew for a fact that you knew those woods very very well and you knew how to handle yourself. “**Sigh** okay fine your right” she said in defeat, she turns towards a guard and asks for her horse “Anna wait!” Hanz grabs her hand as she gets on the horse “Be careful…” he said “I will” she said in a promising tone. “Don’t worry lover boy I’ll keep her safe” you said to Hanz with a laugh and a teasing smirk and tone “Anna we should stop at my house I need to grab some things” you said to her “Alrighty then” you and her went back to your place. You got all the things you needed and went out into the now Frozen wilderness with a mission to find Elsa, stop this eternal Winter and bring her home.

[loredependant]

I don't have a Shiver boner or anything I just like the color blue 😭

The energy of this splatfest is not amazing

I haven't run into too many problems that aren't a problem in the normal game(like people spawn camping) but gods be damned people calm tf down it ain't that serious if Shiver, Big Man or Frye wins

It ain't even like you get extra rewards for being on the winning team 😭

It just ain't appreciated for people to harass other people(mostly seen on twitter... """X""" ) over your fictional blorbo winning or losing a nonsense event

[seokjinnieswife007]

🥹FiNaLLy🥹

I got some actual free time 😮‍💨 from my fcked up schedule so that i can finally express my emotions on how crazy 🤯 I've been bcz of the kdramas these days like they're all so .........

🤌🏼 G O O D🤌🏼

Like each and every show I'm watching is just straight up impressing me on a SERIOUS LEVEL.👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Like an absolute W O W ✨

So I'm watching 3 shows consecutively

King the land 🏩

See you in my 19th life ⏳

Bloodhounds 🥊

GOSH my mental peace has gone to hell because of these three. Like they're just chef's kiss🤌🏼

✨🫶🏼✨🫶🏼✨🫶🏼✨🫶🏼✨🫶🏼✨🫶🏼✨🫶🏼✨

Firstly coming to the rom-com of the year ......

💗🏩KTL🏩💗

This show single-handedly ended me.

💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💞💖

Like after watching the 5th and 6th epi i realised that I crave romance so so much. Like literally I'm such a sucker for ROMANCE 💒🫶🏼

💖💗💓 💞💗💞💖💖💞💖

Guwon is 🥹 so in 💓 L O V E 💓 with sarang and he's not even hiding it. He's Just straight out going for it. That's my man! 🥹👏🏼😍

His microexpressions make me feel something something. I mean... Just look at him 😫😫

I am completing a 1hr epi in 2 hrs because of the serious dose of SEROTONIN they give me .like gosh calm tf down. I actually need 5 minutes to process your lovey-dovey-ness after every scene. i mean We *single since birth* kinda ppl may actually get diabetes cuz of your sweetness 😤😫💓💞💖💗💓💕💞

Guwon is such a pure Loverboy and that too a BIG BIG LOSER IN LOVE. And I love losers. I've said it a million times .

🫶🏼❤️Losers are my favourite lovers❤️🫶🏼

But you need to seriously calm down. Like stop being so adorable. It's very very very problematic. I can't stop blushing all the time. I have to pause at every scene to dig my face into my pillow cuz I can't handle the sweetness. STOP with all this honey dripping eyes. Or DO THAT TO ME AS WELL 😤😤

Secondly,

My utterly precious and beloved 🫶🏼🥹.....

🪄SYIM19L🪄

This show is purely....

✨Magicall✨

I'm a simp for seoha but I just want ban jieum to look at me the way she looks at seoha 🥹 like....

Sis is so so so PRETTY and charming I'm literally questioning my sexuality because of her 😖😖😖😖

Also my precious Seoha 🥹🫶🏼😖🫶🏼🥹🫶🏼🥹🫶🏼

My babieeeeee my cutie I wanna wrap you in my arms and shower you with endless kisses my love🥹💗💕

I knew This show was beautiful but after seeing the dance sequence. I'm just so touched 🥹🥹

Like look at their smiles 😖❤️

God please make my these two beloved the happiest 🥹🫶🏼🤌🏼💞💗💕

And lastly.....

coming to the show I WAS DYING TO WATCHHHH SINCE IT CAME OUT. BUT I wasn't finding time 😖😖

🥊🔥🥊🔥🥊

BLOODHOUNDS

🥊🔥🥊🔥🥊

This show is fkin HAWTTTTTTT 🫦🤌🏼

Oh My GAWDD 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

Like it's total worth it. I'm still half-way but THIS IS IT.

🤌🏼igojiiiiii🤌🏼

It is so damn thrilling and gripping Istg if I had time I had finished this show in one sitting or two. Every episode finishes so fast even tho it is 1 hr each. Still you can't figure out how the time is ticking so fast!!!!!!.. every episode ends in cliffhanger makes you wanna SCREAMMMMMMMMMM. also the plot is

TOO GOOD 🙌🏼👏🏼

The plot in question 😗-

Like who doesn't like hotties. WE CRAVE FOR HOTTIES BUT WHEN YOU GET NOT ONE BUT HOTTIES IN SHOW. AND THAT TOO BFFS. WOW.

This is like cherry on cake with icing and sprinkles 🤤

ALSO THEIR BROMANCE IS INSANNNEEEEEEEEE I'M IN LOVE WITH THEM . GOD PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTSSSS 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

My cuties🥹💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕.

We kdrama fans are well fed with such great content. And I can't be more happy because shows like these are like rainbow in my bland life 🥹💗✨

[mxstyk13]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON SPOILERS !!

i love coming on here and blabbing ab shows and movies i just got done watching its so fun lmaoooo

okay no but fr. this WILL be all over the place. alicent in her younger years always looked so depressed and honestly i get it. everytime her and her damn dad interacted i felt so bad for her, like he rlly only gaf ab the throne huh :/. daemon trying to get w rhaenyra sexually as her uncle 🫥 i know its like the 14th century but DAMN. also, the first time skip had me flabbergasted what do u MEAN alicent is pregnant? 🤨 shoulda known sir criston was an insane mf when he got caught for having intercourse w rhaenyra and his first thought was genuinely and srsly “kill me, i deserve it” and then proceeded to try and kill himself, i shoulda fuckin knew. i know they took their oaths seriously but calm down buddy. and i was so sadddd when laenor’s lover boy got killed. again, shoulda known criston was gonna snap when TWO mfs in one day confronted him ab that indecency lmaoooo and my god, GOT and HOD do not gaf ab showing gore my god MY GOD.

what else? alicent got on my absolute nerve in her later years. i know she was just trying to perform the duty and role she was forced into but can u blame me? 😔 and can i just say, that whole house pisses me off? everyone is like off their rocker. the hand aka her father, sir criston, that man with the limp, alicent herself, ALL her damn children except her daughter 😭 aegon but ESPECIALLY aemond show me serious potential to be joffrey 2.0s. nuh uhhhhh

when visery’s, in his sickly state, went above and beyond to make sure the court saw that he wanted her to be heir still and hers would inherit :’) still confused why on his last breath he changed his mind but i digress. daemon is so fine until he show that stinky personality, same for aemond like mannnnnn. sometimes i could forget daemon was truly a d*ck when i focused on that long hair and beautiful face and the kindness he showed sometimes but forever would he remind me 💀 ALSO AYYYYYY love seeinf rhaenyra as queen. and dare i say love it when she ordered men around, what can i sayyyyy what can i sayyyyyy lmaoooo EXAMPLE: how daemon was ab to fight the hand and she simply said no and he put that sword down. i never knew i enjoyed that sm until now, like u better listen. im a lesbian but that enjoyment does not discriminate. AND AHHHHHH SICKENING SICK SICK- when lucerys’ (?) dragon got tore apart and possibly him along with it….. i wanted to be happy when he made it to the clearing but i knew GOT liked to play mind games and i was right. :| i wanna believe he’s alive but, at the end, daemon told rhaenyra ab it. which makes me wonder, how did he know before anyone else? unless he came across his body or personally saw it himself. but then again, idk. but yea. this show had me stressed tf out. i need s2 ASAP RN

[iamquiantrelle]

one of my fave chapters so farrrr omg this was A LOT

- the way my jaw actually dropped when i read what the fans were saying. they’re messing with the wrong bitch nahhhhh

- okay so tyler pissed me tf off 😭 they’re airing your bros gfs business out to the entire world and you don’t think he’s gonna pop off? is your man really your man if he wouldn’t pop off? ik he means well but at times he can definitely be too worried about his brothers image and not the fact that he is a regular human being like the rest of us (but i’ll give it to him he died this down recently and became more understanding like when he let them both go to south africa)

- crazy how trent’s intense emotion of wanting to protect her is what made him wanna crash out, but at the same time, his intense desire to please her is what made him calm down. ✨duality✨

- aprils aura is UNMATCHED the way i would be screaming crying throwing up and she didn’t gaf and handled it so corporate 😭 her ex played with the wrong bitch.

- him saying he would kill for her was so cute and also crazy, i imagine this could be a turning point in the fic where his love for her makes him violent in a way? i think he’s gonna struggle to control it coming up

- the hole playyyyy about damn time 😈 aprils just so sexy man idk who i wanna be in this scenario LOL. also i honestly thought he was gonna use his safe word when his breath hitched, like maybe he wasn’t ready but oh no he was ready 😭😭 i loved the temp play as well with the ice especially when she traced his dick with it then licked up the same trail wheewww

- y’all if i say marcel is the funniest character in this fic now what? i audibly laugh at most things he says lmfaooo when he was asked to look after the cat and was like bruh are you serious. side note: pussy galore is a QUEEN and i’m glad she is being treated as such. a real diva, love that

Pussy Galore and Marcel are the best characters hands down - love them to bits. Tyler is annoying me too and I wrote the fucking thing 😩 he’s too worried about the wrong fucking thing!! And yes this is the start of crash out/overly protective Trent because he’s in his feels about April…DOWN REAL BAD 😬

[mikes81vw]

I hate dealing with certain customers. Today some little shit tried to get all loud with me. All I did was ask for something and he's like "don't rush me." I was like wtf. I told to him "calm down. No ones rushing you." Then the fuck is like "im a grown as man!" Dude look like he just got out 4th period. Seriously wtf lol kept going back and forth and then he's like "if I see you outside Im going fuck you up." Made me laugh a little lol I told him "you're not doing anything. Straight up. You ain't doing shit, trust me" then he starts to leave.. And out of no where he grabs his bike from the side and only made me realize it wasn't that serious lol i literally laughed in his face like "dude you're riding a bike. Tf you over here talking shit for." Wtf is wrong with people?? Like seriously this is how fucken people are now?? Short fuse as fuck with no damn respect.

[dukeoftheblackstar]

@daimyosprincess Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch [affectionately].

You know I love filth but I wanna highlight the best parts that I adored in this read because omg, girl why you gotta all me out with so much old man knee and old man references like, babeeeeeeeeeeeeee I die, okay? ILY ♥

So. Okay.

I really love the intro mainly because it tempers your mood to calm tf down before the dicking starts happening, you know? I also love, LOVE, the ex-boyfriend detail because it's such a nice treat to always see certain variation of how things unfold. Because you could have just written straight up flirty reader and Boba and we're set, but I'm really a sucker for side stories or however you want to call it.

I love the smut, so much. So damn much. But I just wanna point out these two really sweet side story/origin story something whatever treats for me ♥

Another banger, Zwei ♥

All in all though, you can’t complain. You live in their spacious, boomer-bought house rent-free and enjoy a home-cooked meal every night; you have your mom to dote on you when you get sick and your dad to defrost your car in the cold winter mornings.

This is such an adorable concept for an introduction because I wouldn't have thought it was gonna happen at the parents' place. That's such an original thought and super cute. Eep! I love this!

The fact that he’s somehow a perfect gentleman to you while simultaneously being the most incorrigible flirt that ever lived hasn’t helped in the least.

What a fuckin' dick. SO PROUD OF YOU MY BOYS. MAKE THAT GIRL WET.

Boba Fett is going to fix that.

Move over, Bob the fucking builder. Boba's in town. ♥

you look sweet enough to eat. And lick. And suck. And-

If you ain't looking this delectable, what tf is you doing with your life, sissy? ♥ Baby girl knows what's up!

The only thing that keeps you from sneaking in a quickie with your hand clamped over your mouth so his name doesn’t spill out is the chance to have him do all those things to you for real.

Zweiiiii, STOP CALLING US OUT THIS EARLYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Boba arrives to finish whatever project your parents told you about. Railings? Pool pump? Painting? Doesn’t matter. 

This is making me laugh so ungodly because I swear. I fucking SWEAR. This is everyone reading every Boba Fett fic. He be doing the silliest, stupidiest shit, it's IRRELEVANT.

Boba can literally fuck up my house, shoot me with a nailgun, or even overcharge me for not doing shit. As long as I'm getting dicked tonight, is all good bby ♥

I SHOULDN'T BE SAYING THIS BECAUSE THE JANGO ON MY SHOULDER DISAPPROVES. BUT MY GOD, IS THIS SO DAMN RELATBEL BESTIE LIKE SHIT, U IS RIGHTEOUS MY SISTER IN CHRIST.

Before you can think better of it, you snatch down your panties and toss them over your shoulder with a grin.

MY GIRL.

Was it possible to be attracted to the way someone clenches their jaw?

I AM TAKING THIS PERSONALLY BECAUSE I HAVE A THING FOR KNEES OKAY. IF BOBA CLENCHES HIS JAW ALL SO SUGGESTIVELY THEN I WILL TAKE THIS AS PERMISSION SLIP TO BE HO OVER PLO KOON'S KNEES WHEN HE SITS WITH HIS KNEES APART OKAY. OKAY. YES. THEM JAWS. YUMYUM.

“See something you like, princess?”

Boba watches with an amused smile as you trot past him into the cool of the house, taking your unspoken invitation to stare at your ass as you do so.

I REPEAT. BOBA IS AN ASS MAN. ASS MAN I SAY!!!! JUST LIKE HIS GODDAMN DADDY.

“Lot of books you got there, princess. What are you in school for?”

EX-LIBRIS! EX-LIBRIS FLASHBACKS!!!!

“Hey… never apologize for your passion. Not many people have what you have, or the drive to go after it. That’s something to be proud of, sweetheart.”

OK, but here the dick tho, sir? WHERE?

He snatches up your hand in a tight grip. “Careful, princess,” Boba warns in a low, scraped voice. “Think very carefully about-” || “Sweetheart, I’m serious,” he shuts his eyes and exhales heavily. “Think about what you’re offering.”

I SEE WE DISRESPECTING THIS VERY RESPECTFUL MAN RIGHT HERE, ZWEII.

“Princess, baby, look at me.”

BABY GIRL. DEAREST BOBA FETT FIC QUEEN. MA'AM. IF YOU. OMG. IF YOU SO. HNNG IF YOU SO EVER. JUST. OMG. LIKE IDK. IF YOU PUT THINGS THEN 'BABY' IN IT? I AM DEAD, LIKE HSDJSKDJASLKDHKASHFKDNF;RJGLKND,VMS,DMFS.

Damn him and his honorable ways.

DAMN RIGHT.

“Are you worried that I won’t be able to make you scream and shake when I lick and stroke your perfect little pussy? Hmm? Babygirl, don’t you worry one bit. I’m gonna take care of you, I’m gonna make you feel so amazing you’re not going to be able to sit out here ever again without remembering how I made you cry with how good it feels.”

THE HONOR HAS BEEN STRIPPED IN LESS THAN .5 SECONDS OH MY GOD. SUCH WHORES.

Your crappy college boyfriend never made you want anything remotely like what Boba’s saying.

I'm such a sucker for backstories and little 'non-essential' details because it's such a power move to unearth those little things. And for clarity, when I say 'non-essential', something that could have been omitted or no longer expounded on but they're really interesting — though not for everyone. But I love them. Genuinely love the little 'fillers' and such.

I have I didn't fuck up how to explain that but I mean it in a way that's not offensive or downplaying it, but more of the not so big big details — I'm just gonna shut up now LOL.

“My knees aren’t what they used to be.” 

Claiming this for my personal satisfaction over my knee obsession ♥

“Now I think we both know you never had any intention of studying when you planted your cute little ass on this couch.” || “I h-have all my stuff out here, see?” || “Though really, the fact you didn’t turn a single page the entire time you were out here would have clued me in regardless.”

EEP! It's so playful I DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

“Aw, you’re sweet to flatter an old man. Now how about you sit up on those knees so I can taste every inch of your pretty pussy?”

SO MUCH KNEE TALK MA'AM. WHY IS THERE NO WARNING FOR THIS??!??!?!

“Good. Now start playing with those perfect fucking tits, give me a good show.” 

I SCREAM. AS IF I HAVE NOT SCREAMED OVER THE HAPPENING PRIOR TO THEM TIT PLAY. BOBA, MY SON, YOU PUSSY EATING CHAMP. MAKE DADDY PROUD ♥

“That’s my good girl. Now stuff your dress in your mouth because I’m going to make you scream loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.”

Polite neighbor vibes ♥

“See all this, s-sweetheart? See how much a real man c-can make you come?”

BOY SO COCKYYYYYYYY.

OH MY GOD. YOUR EXBOYFRIEND IS A DOUCHEBAG, OKAY? OMGGG??? LIKE FOR REAL??? I WILL THROW HANDS, OKAY?????

But like in all seriousness, this is one of the trope that I adoreeeeeeeeeee okay, cause it's the after sex, after fun, after all the highs and now the lows. The 'where do we go from here' or the 'let's just get this over with' trope and omg ma'am? I am in loveeeeee!

But before you can get too cheeky, he swats your ass with a smirk. “Dirty girl, aren’t you? I’m old enough to be your father, you know.” 

“Ah, well, the younger ones never did it for me anyways. I’ve always wanted a man with some… experience in getting me wet.”

MOOTS REPRESENTTTT.

“Because, princess,” he murmurs sinfully into your ear, nipping at the tender spot behind it, “I want something to remember you by tonight. Wanna smell that sweet little cunt while I tug on my cock and think about you coming in my mouth. And on my cock. And all over me.”

When he finally extricates himself from your feeble attempt to lock him in your arms, he tucks your dress into his belt with a wink. “For safekeeping,” he assures you.

Gentle reminder that if you can't find that slut dress that made you a slut, it's here, babe. Riiiiight here ♥

AN HONEST DAY'S WORK

—PAIRING: Contractor!Boba Fett x F!Reader

—SUMMARY: You have a very special project you want your parents’ contractor, Boba Fett, to work on.

—WORD COUNT: 9k

—RATING: Explicit, 18+ only — MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

—TAGS & WARNINGS: second person narration, no use of y/n, explicit sexual content, age gap relationship (reader is an adult), Boba is a dirty old man and doesn’t mind saying so 😈, likely an excessive use of pet names by yours truly, oral sex (fem receiving), unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl), squirting, cum eating, soft Boba 🥹, mentions of a shitty ex

Please let me know if I missed anything!

—AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thank you @baufraus for slapping a tool belt on that old man, you’re doing the lord’s work 😌 Enjoy besties 💖

Divider by the @saradika

Read on AO3 — Masterlist — Taglist

What a pleasant thing to be woken up by your alarm, you think, stretching out in a luxurious full body stretch under your flowery covers. After a month and a half of what felt like constant construction right outside your window, waking to your buzzing alarm was a welcome relief from the jagged sounds of powertools and hard machinery. 

While you love your parents dearly, their desire to turn the backyard of your childhood home into a suburban oasis has been a less than pleasant experience for you. They certainly deserved to enjoy their retirement after putting you and your siblings through school, but the necessity of such renovations during your last year of your masters was dubious to you at best.

All in all though, you can’t complain. You live in their spacious, boomer-bought house rent-free and enjoy a home-cooked meal every night; you have your mom to dote on you when you get sick and your dad to defrost your car in the cold winter mornings. Even with the long hours of inescapable noise and constant stream of people in and around the house, you’re grateful to be there. And, if you’re completely honest, you’re also extremely grateful for the unexpected front row seat to watch the handsome contractor heading the whole operation. 

Boba Fett hasn’t left your thoughts since the day he arrived at your front door dressed in khaki cargo pants, a form fitting t-shirt, and a tool belt slung low across his hips. His perfect white smile and smoldering dark eyes left you speechless then and have continued to bedevil you ever since, winding your insides (and panties) into knots. The fact that he’s somehow a perfect gentleman to you while simultaneously being the most incorrigible flirt that ever lived hasn’t helped in the least. Between his sparkling winks, dazzling smile, and delicious voice calling you “princess” and “sweetheart,” you haven’t known a moment’s peace—even when the crew finally went home in the evenings.

It’s all enough to drive you totally insane.

Lucky for him, however, it hasn’t. Staring up at the familiar ceiling above you, you smile: today is the day you will finally have your revenge. The contractor had teased and poked at you for weeks and you’d been powerless to do anything more than glower and huff at him due to the constant company of your parents and his crew. But now you have him all to yourself for an entire day with the house to yourself and his workers off—and you have no intention of showing him any mercy.

It’s been nearly two years since you’ve had anything close to what one could consider “action.” Between school and your research fellowship, you haven’t had any time to go to parties or bars or wherever adults are supposed to meet people to do it with. No, for two long years, it has been you and your vibrator against the world. 

Boba Fett is going to fix that.

After a quick shower and a punched-up version of your morning routine, you’re almost ready to set your plan into motion. Flicking through your closet, you decide on your favorite floral sundress with a pair of cute sandals. Now dressed, you smooth your hands down the light fabric, smiling at your reflection in the mirror; you look sweet enough to eat. And lick. And suck. And-

Heat flares in your belly at the thought of Boba’s large, work-rough hands pulling up the hem of your dress to kiss up your soft thighs, his tongue spelling out all the dirty, awful things he wants to do to you in your parents’ own home… his lips wrapping around that desperate, aching spot between your legs and making that burning need finally go away in an explosion of pent-up pleasure.

Fuck. You bite down hard on your lip to stop from hopping back beneath your covers and touching yourself to the rest of that particular fantasy. The only thing that keeps you from sneaking in a quickie with your hand clamped over your mouth so his name doesn’t spill out is the chance to have him do all those things to you for real.

Taking a deep breath, you push away your lewd imaginings and check your phone. You have just enough time to grab your books and position yourself on the deck before Boba arrives to finish whatever project your parents told you about. Railings? Pool pump? Painting? Doesn’t matter. 

With one last check in the mirror, you hurry towards your bedroom door only to stop short a second later. Before you can think better of it, you snatch down your panties and toss them over your shoulder with a grin.

Chancing a glance over the top of your unread book, you spy Boba leaning across a board and marking it with a flat drafting pencil. The suggestive slant of his hips and the sheen of perspiration on his brow made a slew of very suggestive images flood your brain. Was it possible to be attracted to the way someone clenches their jaw?

Boba had to be showing off. There’s simply no explanation for why he needed to carry that much lumber on his shoulder or measure that many things high enough for his gray t-shirt to ride up and reveal a tempting peek at the dark trail of hair leading into his jeans. And since when did there need to be so much drilling? He is sorely beating you at your own game, and that simply would not do—not when you need him so bad you’re scheming and panty-less in your parents’ backyard. 

“See something you like, princess?”

Kark. Shaking your head, you blink your eyes like you’ve been caught deep into your reading. “Oh, sorry, did you say something?”

He straightens, arching a brow as he dusts himself off. As you follow his hands across his strong torso and thighs you realize too late that your eyes have wandered to his crotch. Smirking, Boba runs a palm over his face to wipe away the sweat there. “Never mind that,” he chuckles, “Could I interrupt your ‘study session’ for something to drink?”

The audacity of this man! Scoffing at your (admittedly weak) attempt at school work like he hasn’t been putting on a show himself for the past hour and a half.

You’re not going to let yourself be beat at your own game. Plastering on a big smile, you answer in a honey-sweet voice. “Actually, my mom made some sandwiches and lemonade since you had to come by on your day off. Why don’t you freshen up and take a seat over here,” you motion to the couch across from you, “and I’ll be out with lunch in a couple minutes.” 

Boba watches with an amused smile as you trot past him into the cool of the house, taking your unspoken invitation to stare at your ass as you do so. When you re-emerge a few minutes later with the promised food and drink, he’s spread out over the couch with a fresh shirt on and looking every bit as regal as a king on a throne. You suppose it’s only fitting that he calls you his princess when he thanks you for bringing out the meal.

Picking up a sandwich, Boba nods to your stack of readings on the side table. “Lot of books you got there, princess. What are you in school for?”

You’re ready to give him some giggly, flippant reply but the genuine look of interest on his face stops you. For a stricken second you’re tongue tied by the thought of your parents’ hot contractor being genuinely interested in you as a person. Shimmering, unbidden fantasies float through your mind of Boba pulling out your chair for you on a date, the two of you sitting around a bonfire with his arm wrapped around your shoulders, him kissing the top of your head as he leaves for work in the morning. The images curl through the heat of your desire for him, mixing with the safe warmth and happiness he brings you.

Maybe…

You quickly scramble to answer before your imagination can run rampant and put dangerous thoughts of something more with him into your head. 

“Speech-language pathology and therapy. Originally I was doing special education but then I really enjoyed my communicative disorders class, so my professor helped me apply to an internship program that convinced me to change my concentration. I even got into the fellowship program in the speech lab at St. Mary’s this semester and-” 

You look up to see Boba staring at you so fondly that it makes your chest ache and your words evaporate into flushed smoke. “Oh, u-um, sorry, you probably didn’t want to hear all that… basically, I’m studying ways to help people speak easier.” You take a long sip of lemonade to avoid saying anything else, mentally kicking yourself to get it together. You have a plan and you need to stick to it, no matter how tingly and fuzzy he makes your heart feel.

The couch creaks as Boba shifts forward to rest his forearms on his knees so he can meet your downcast eyes. “Hey… never apologize for your passion. Not many people have what you have, or the drive to go after it. That’s something to be proud of, sweetheart.”

That same warm, shimmery feeling from before returns and you smile at him. “Thanks,” you murmur, wondering if it’s normal for his tenderness to make you want to get in his pants even more. You don’t care either way. Clearing your throat, you roll back your shoulders and lean back against the plump cushions. “Well I don’t want to keep you if you’ve got any more, uh, “measuring” to do.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him and he winks.

“Right.” He nods to his cleared plate. “Thanks for lunch.”

“Of course,” you assure him, “gotta make sure you keep your strength up for any… activities you might get up to.”

Boba laughs rich and deep as he pushes up from the couch. “You really are too good to me, princess.”

If only he knew just how good I can be.

The following hour passes in pleasant, if sexually charged, silence as both of you vie to make the other crack first. When he lifts the bottom of his shirt up to wipe his face, revealing the thick wall of muscle and softer belly underneath, you finally decide enough is enough. If he’s playing dirty, you will too.

Reaching your arms above your head, you stretch and let out a suggestive groan that has Boba’s head snapping towards you. Of course, you pretend you don’t notice and continue your stretch, leisurely easing out your legs to their full length. With his eyes boring into you, you purposefully slide your knees up the couch cushions so the hem of your flowy dress rides dangerously high up your thighs. You can physically feel the tables turning in your favor, upper hand slipping from him to you in this one powerful, heady moment.

Tilting your head back to meet his burning gaze, you savor the feeling, watching through your lashes as his breath stutters in his chest. Then, taking your lip between your teeth, you slowly open your thighs, one, then the other, to reveal the glistening folds hidden between them.

For a brief second, it seems like he’s going to snap the board in his hands with the way his muscles strain against his shirt. When you moan a quiet little sound as you stretch again, he slams the wood down and stalks over you with his fists clenching.

Blinking up at him with siren eyes, you give him a sultry smile. “See something you like, handsome?” you mimic, reaching out to drag your fingers down his arm. 

He snatches up your hand in a tight grip. “Careful, princess,” Boba warns in a low, scraped voice. “Think very carefully about-”

Before you can chicken out, you flip the front of your dress above your waist with your free hand. “About this?” 

Boba sucks in a sharp breath and stares for a long second, the muscles in his jaw working in tight feathers before he yanks your dress back down over your legs. “Sweetheart, I’m serious,” he shuts his eyes and exhales heavily. “Think about what you’re offering.”

As if you haven’t thought about this very thing for weeks on end, writhing and panting to the thought of Boba Fett doing every dirty thing to you that you could come up with. No, if anything, you need to stop thinking and start feeling everything your wicked thoughts had conjured up about this man.

“Boba, please,” you whine, the feel of his hand on your skin making your voice desperate, “I’m sure, I’m so, so sure I swear.” His grip tightens and you can sense he’s waiting to hear for something more concrete. “I’ve thought about you every day, every night… I want you, Boba. Please.”

“Fuck, sweetheart…” His skin burns against yours and he curses again, dropping your wrist and coming to his knees in front of you. “Tell me then,” he grunts, bracing himself between your thighs, “tell me exactly what you want me to do to you.” 

Pure, molten want burns in his eyes, igniting the desperate tinder of your desire. What didn’t you want him to do? You’ve dreamed about him taking you every possible way in every possible place, groaning your name and screwing you senseless. What could you say when you want everything he’ll give you? 

Luckily, your tongue has the answer your brain does not. “Kiss me,” you gasp, “Please kriffing kiss me.” 

And like he’d been waiting his entire life to hear you say those very words, he’s on you, pushing you back against the pillows and crashing his perfect lips against yours in a scorching fury. Your body welcomes his intensity, instinctually shaping itself around his strong hips and wide shoulders as you claw at him to get closer. Fuck, you’re already greedy for him, your skin thirsting for his and your pussy soaking your dress beneath it.

“W-wait,” you gasp, hating the way he immediately recoils even as you appreciate his caution. You don’t want to give Boba any reason to stop but you don’t want to embarrass yourself in the heat of things either. “I’ve never, um, well… I’ve never had… never with someone else.” You wince; your words sound even worse than they did tripping through your head. Anxiety pricks your heated skin—you want to bury yourself into his shirt and hide there forever.

Why did you bring this up? You should’ve just gone with it like before.

When he speaks, Boba’s voice is the softest it’s ever been. “Princess, baby, look at me.” He rolls the both of you up to a sitting position, giving you just enough space to pull away if you needed to while still being close. Gently taking one of your clenched fists into his large hand, he smooths your fingers out, rubbing soothing circles into your palm with his thumb. 

You sneak a peek at him. Gone is the hot fervor of passion that previously colored his features; now he’s a softer shade that beckons you into his comfort. 

“There she is,” he smiles, rewarding you with his own when you force your face up to his. The urgent tear of worry in your chest eases and you melt into his side. “Now, how about you tell me what’s bothering you, hmm?” 

“Really, it’s nothing,” you try, knowing it won’t work as soon as you say it. All you want to do is go back to him kissing the air out of your lungs and to have his fingers brushing over your soaked slit, but Boba isn’t going to let you off the hook. 

Damn him and his honorable ways.

Boba sighs and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Nice try, sweetheart.” He lays his cheek on top of your head and wraps an arm around your shoulders, giving you a comforting squeeze. “Listen, if all this is happening too fast, if you want to stop here, we can. I won’t be mad, baby. Your first time should be with someone special, and if that’s not me then that’s alright.”

First time? Realization dawns on you a second later and you can’t help the laughter that bubbles up from your belly. Giggling, you arch up and give the confused man next to you a quick peck on the lips. “Thank you, Boba, really. But that’s not what I meant.” A new kind of nervousness pools in your gut now, one that swirls with hot anticipation rather than cold dread. 

Grabbing his free hand for support, you look into the warm depth of his eyes as his fingers curl around yours. “What I was trying to say was that… well, that no one else has ever made me come before. I’ve made myself come plenty of times but,” yikes, did you have to say that?, “I’ve only been with one other guy and he never made me… I mean, I got close one time but he never actually made me finish.”

The concerned look on Boba’s face melts into a glorious laugh that rumbles your chest. Before you know it, you’re both laughing and kissing in between delighted gasps for air. A bright sense of joy permeates every cell in your body and you tuck it safely inside your heart. If this was your first time, you know that you’d want it to be with him. Maybe you’ll pretend this is your first time.

“Oh, sweetheart, is that what you’re worried about?” he finally sighs, his warm breath tickling your neck. You nod against him.

In one quick motion, Boba scoops you up into his lap, wrapping his arms around you to grab your ass through your dress. “Are you worried that I won’t be able to make you scream and shake when I lick and stroke your perfect little pussy? Hmm?” He groans into your ear when you shiver against him. “Babygirl, don’t you worry one bit. I’m gonna take care of you, I’m gonna make you feel so amazing you’re not going to be able to sit out here ever again without remembering how I made you cry with how good it feels.”

This time, you’re the one who slams your lips against his, stealing whatever dark, sweet words he had left from his tongue. You mewl into his open mouth as he rocks your bare core over the thick denim straining over his erection. The seam of his jeans catches your clit perfectly and you would have cried out loud enough for the neighbors three houses down to hear if Boba hadn’t held your face against his.

“Easy there, beautiful,” Boba chuckles, “we don’t need everyone knowing what we’re up to, not till we’re done anyways, yeah?” You hum in agreement and bury your face into his shoulder, inhaling his clean smell and the surprisingly attractive scent of a day’s work clinging to his skin. “Now, tell me about this boy before, did he make you feel good? Make you want to flash your bare cunt to him and beg him to take you where anyone could walk around and see?”

Your crappy college boyfriend never made you want anything remotely like what Boba’s saying. The only thing he ever made you want was for him to hurry up so you could go in the bathroom and finish yourself off. He had been nice enough, but, nice enough didn’t make your eyes cross and pussy wet. “He never, shit, he never…” you gasp as Boba grinds you harder against himself, “I had to beg him to eat me out and even then he complained about it every time.”

“Complained? Kark, princess, tasting you is all I’ve been able to think about for a month. In fact,” Boba grins wickedly, “I’d like to solve that problem right now, with your permission, of course.” His tongue flicks out to wet his lips like he’s preparing to enjoy the best meal of his life.

You can’t give him your permission fast enough.

Reaching behind his back, Boba tosses one of the decorative pillows from the couch onto the deck and slides down to kneel on it in front of you. “Why don’t you hand me another one of those,” he flashes you a smile and a wink, “My knees aren’t what they used to be.” 

“They didn’t seem to be a problem when you were putting on a show for me earlier,” you snark back, rolling your eyes for extra effect. “I hardly got any reading done with your whole construction worker performance going on.”

Boba tosses his head back and laughs a deep belly laugh that makes you glow for being its source. Grabbing your hips, he yanks you to the edge of the couch, making you squeal. “Now I think we both know you never had any intention of studying when you planted your cute little ass on this couch.” He leans in, inching your dress up so he can brush his lips over the ticklish skin just above your knees.

“Wh-What are you talking about?” Your lashes flutter shut and you dig your nails into the cushions to keep your composure as Boba begins to pepper kisses up your thighs while his hands massaged what his mouth wasn’t on. “I h-have all my stuff out here, see?” 

Of course, your handsome contractor is exactly right but you’re not going to admit that.

Licking a stripe mere centimeters from where you want him most, Boba huffs a laugh into your damp skin. “All props, sweetheart. Your dress and flirty little smile gave it all away.” His hands travel to the back of your hips where he spreads them wide so you arch against him, bringing the top of your pelvic bone right to his mouth. “Though really, the fact you didn’t turn a single page the entire time you were out here would have clued me in regardless.”

Boba’s words feel like they’re coming through a wall of thick molasses, heavy and sweet as they are to your ears. All you can focus on is the heat of his breath whispering across the wetness he caused and how his lips feel ghosting against your soft flesh as he speaks. Kark, how are you supposed to think with him like this, kneeling for the very opportunity to put his mouth where you’ve dreamed it would be so many times? All that time trembling, aching, yearning for him and he was finally yours—at least for now—and you’re going to enjoy every second of it.

You bunch up the material of your dress in a fist and force your hazy eyes to focus on him. “Either way, it got me what I truly wanted,” you smile affectionately, “You.” 

An emotion flashes across Boba’s sun-bronzed face so quickly it feels like a secret to have seen it, something deep and tender, petal-soft and just as vulnerable. Something words couldn’t quite express and certainly not something he wanted to be seen. It made him feel so frighteningly human that you want to bury him in your chest and murmur all lovely things he makes you feel until he feels safe enough to let that emotion out of its closely guarded cage.

A second later, however, his usual cocksure expression is back in place. “Aw, you’re sweet to flatter an old man. Now how about you sit up on those knees so I can taste every inch of your pretty pussy?”

You couldn’t have refused his request even if it wasn’t the hottest thing you ever heard, not with the way you’re so agonizingly ready that you’re literally dripping with arousal. “Boba, please. Need your-ooohh!” A searing shock of pleasure ricochets up your spine as his tongue swipes through the web of slick pooled in your slit. 

Your intense reaction spurs Boba on and he immediately dives into your core, jamming his face between your legs and groaning loudly as he inhales your scent. “Sweet as fucking cherry pie, baby. Shit, come here,” he growls, yanking you down so nearly your full weight is on his face. “I want you down my damn throat, you’re so delicious. Better than anything I’ve ever had.”

You wish you could open your scrunched eyes to see the expression that matches his blissed out tone, but it’s impossible with the way his tongue is flicking through folds as he sucks up every drop of your slick like he needs it to live. Heat pumps through your veins, lighting you up until you’re sure you could replace the sun. In less than thirty seconds, Boba has made you feel more beautiful, more cherished than you ever felt in your entire life.

As your knees begin to buckle from the luscious intensity of his mouth, Boba tosses your right leg over his shoulder, balancing you across his face and giving him the perfect opportunity to flatten his tongue against your clit. You have to slap a hand across your mouth to keep from screaming when he starts a pace that has you riding his face with fervent abandon, your hand dropping your dress to clutch at the back of his skull for more pressure.

Boba moans and scrapes his teeth over your clit, making you squeal and jolt at the sharp sensation. “Fucking hell, girl, you really are dirty, aren’t you? I never should have waited to get my mouth on you. Lay down for me, I wanna feel that tight cunt squeezing my fingers while you make a mess on my face.”

As much as you don’t want to part with his mouth, the temptation to feel him stretching you out on his thick fingers, stroking all the places your own can’t reach, is too great to resist. Scrambling back onto the couch, you tuck yourself into the corner to give him the maximum amount of access to your trembling body. 

Boba grins up at you, his face up to his eyes shiny with your slick. “Howya feeling, sweetheart? Ready for me to make you see stars?”

In response, you just toss the fabric of your dress over your shoulder and roll your hips forward.

Boba was a man of his word, bringing you to the edge of orgasm once with mouth and hands then once more with his cock as took you from behind—you’re in actual tears with how good every single one of his movements feel. Every drag of his cock is pure pleasure, every touch of his hands delicious delight, and every kiss is incandescent bliss. You’re never going to be the same again.

“Oh, my filthy little girl,” he taunts, grabbing a handful of your tits as he watches you through heavy-lidded eyes, “what would your parents think, hmm? What would they do if they knew you let an old man bend you over the table they’ll eat off of? That you’re bouncing on his dick and begging him for more on their couch?”

“Oh, fuck! Boba!” A wave of liquid arousal floods your core, make the sound of him fucking into you even wetter. 

“Yeah? You like it when I talk like that, sweetheart? You like knowing that I’m going to own every part of you then send you back to them with a smile on my face and your cum leaking down my cock?”

Every single one of his sex-stained words sear into your skin, going straight to your throbbing clit. Every beat of your pounding heart brings you closer and closer to the bright brink of orgasm, every roll of his hips thrusting his length into that perfect spot inside you. Fuck he’s going to make me come if he keeps… fuck!

“Kark, baby, I can feel you squeezing me with that perfect tight cunt. Shit, you’re so-”

You can’t take it anymore. Falling forward onto his heaving chest, you dig your nails into the thick muscle there and start grinding your aching clit against him like some feral animal chasing their heat. 

Faster, harder, faster, fuck! Just like that, juuuust like that and you’ll feel that perfect fucking release, just a little more and…

Boba stills his bucking hips and halts your rocking.

You howl, clawing at his unmoving body. “No, please!” you sob, “I’m so close, please don’t stop now!”

Boba shushes you with the press of his mouth. “Shh, you’ll get what you want, baby, I promise you. But if I'm gonna be the first man to make you come, I’m gonna make it much more memorable than that was going to be.”

The thought of anything more than the building pleasure thrashing in core was unimaginable. How on earth could it be better than him balls deep inside you hitting your g-spot like it’s what he was made for? Never in your wildest dreams had you felt this good, even when you had hours alone to tease yourself before riding out the wave of your orgasm. If there was anything greater than this pleasure you’re not sure you would survive it—not with your mind intact, anyways.

Sliding his hands under your slicked thighs, Boba swings his legs off the couch and stands with a huff, keeping himself sheathed inside you. You grind into the fabric of his shirt until gives your ass a firm swat and you a stern warning to behave, which you’re too desperate to test. He walks the pair of you over to the large, oak table and plops you on top of it. The rich grain is supple and smooth on your bare skin, and Boba eases your back flat against it as he kisses and gropes across your body.

“Alright, princess,” he pulls away slightly to rest his damp forehead on yours, “I need you to do something for me, okay?”

Brushing your hands down his neck and shoulders, you’d promise him anything he asked. “O-okay, Boba.”

He peppers a few kisses on your tear-stained cheeks before continuing, letting his hips rut into you at an agonizingly slow pace. “When I tell you to, I want you to release all your muscles and completely let go. Don’t hold anything in, alright, babygirl?”

You’re not sure where he’s leading you but you have complete faith in the fact that it’s going to be mind blowing. You give him your affirmation and he presses a small kiss on your lips.

“Good. Now start playing with those perfect fucking tits, give me a good show.” 

You’re in such a hurry to comply that you get frustrated by the straps of your dress and bra, to which Boba chuckles and makes quick work of them, dragging the material down until your chest was bared for his mouth to claim. He curses when you press the soft flesh of your breasts together, moaning when your fingers brush over your pert nipples. For a minute he just watches you revel in the pleasure of your own hands, fucking yourself shallowly on him as you pluck and caress the sensitive skin beneath your fingers. 

Boba is a man entranced, his dark eyes glassy with want. Under his reverential gaze, you feel so desired, so utterly divine, like you’re his own personal goddess—he stares down at you as your most pious devotee who longs for nothing more than to feel the blessing of your body and the joy of your bliss.

“Boba…” you whisper duskily. He leans into your outstretched hand and you pull him into your arms with a crushing kiss.

As if he can read exactly what you need, he hikes your leg over his hip and begins a pace of snapping thrusts that has your entire body bouncing with their bruising force. “Pretty baby, precious girl, I’m going to make you feel so fucking good,” he pants into your neck, pressing his lips there to taste the salt of your skin, “Been dying to take care of you like this, sweetheart. Watching you work so hard, leaving early and coming back late… you’re such a good little girl, aren’t you?”

With the way he’s hitting every single sweet spot that makes you feel like a woman, all you can manage is a breathy affirmative and a few warbling words. “Y-yes, Boba, w-wanted you s-so bad. Thought-thought about you every n-night. Ohhhh fuck!”

 Boba lifts your hips and guides your legs to lock around him, giving him a mind-shattering angle as he drives into your wet heat. After swallowing down your cries of pleasure with a searing kiss, he wraps his large hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as he continues. 

“So loud, aren’t you, princess? No, I like that, I like hearing how good I make you feel, like knowing I’m the only one who has you making these sweet fucking sounds.” Leaning back, he trails his free hand up your calf, letting it follow the curve of your thigh and giving your ass a smack that makes your eyes roll back. “Because I’m the only one who makes you feel like this, the only one who can make this perfect pussy soak and come. You just needed a real man to give you what you needed, huh, sweetheart? Come on, answer me and I’ll make you scream.”

Every nerve in your body is lighting up, every neuron in your brain firing with blinding pleasure. The voice that claws its way from your throat is wrecked and ragged, gasping and begging for more, more, more. The heat and pressure building in your core is volcanic, and you absolutely need it to burn you alive. Only then could you shed the weight of everything that came before and become the beautiful thing Boba is crafting with every sinful word and scalding caress.

“That’s it, just like that, pretty baby,” Boba grunts in praise when you start chasing his thrusts with your own. “Take what you need, what you deserve. Use my cock… I’m all yours, all fucking yours, princess.”

You can’t see him behind your scrunched eyelids, but you can hear the sincerity laced through his words like a shining vein of shimmering gold. The images of him wrapping his arm around you at campfire, settling you into your chair on a date come flashing back, play across your mind with such visceral clarity you could almost reach out and touch them. There was so much warmth to this man, so much untapped softness and care underneath his rough-hewn exterior that you want so karking bad you can taste it hot on your tongue. You want him loving you, fucking you, caring for you every single day from now until forever. Most urgently, however, you want him to mark your very soul with his in an orgasm so intense you leave your body.

“B-boba, Boba, please! I’m so close, I-I want you so bad! Please!” you beg between his fingers over your mouth as your hands paw at his sweat-slicked skin. 

“I got you, babygirl, I got you. Come here.” Boba crushes his mouth against yours, licking your taste onto his tongue with a moan. When he finally breaks your kiss, his cheeks are flushed with carnal color and his eyes are glazed with devoted fervor. “Remember what I said before, sweetheart? About letting go, releasing all your muscles?” 

You bob your head, biting into your lip to keep your focus on his face. 

“Good. I’m going to count down from ten then I want you to do just that, okay? Can you do that for me? Let me hear you say you understand.”

As if you wouldn’t kiss the very ground he walks on with how good he’s making you feel. “I-I understand.”

He beams at you, a diamond drop of sweat rolling down his brow. “That’s my good girl. Now stuff your dress in your mouth because I’m going to make you scream loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.”

Burning ecstasy explodes inside you, snapping your muscles taunt and clamping down on the thick length rocking into you. How can you possibly feel this good, this fucking amazing and you’re not even coming yet? You don’t even remember where you are at this point, only that Boba’s on top of you and his dick’s inside you.

Gagged and bleary-eyed with tears, you arch into his touch when his calloused fingertips find your pulsing clit.

“Ten. Nine. Eight.” Boba’s fingers slide back and forth across your sopping folds with delicious speed, the pressure of his hand singing the glorious feeling into your bones.

“Seven. Six. Five.” His angle changes just slightly so his thrusts aim up towards your belly. Tears run down your temples into your hair and you know you have to be screaming around your spit-soaked dress.

“Four… three…” 

Stars begin to explode in cataclysmic bursts of light as everything in your body tightens into a ball of pure energy. If you could think beyond the primal sensation you would worry that you might literally die with how hard your heart is thundering in your chest.

Boba presses a hand on your lower tummy and everything snaps into stark relief: you can feel every cell in your body, every atom of being as all the light inside you floods to core. 

“Two…” His voice is sabled sin, luscious smoke dripping onto your burning skin in hot, fat drops. “One. Let go, baby, let go of everything.” 

His thrusts, his fingers, his hand pressing into you, everything melts into one caldecent elixir that pours directly into your deepest parts and washes you down to your most tender parts. Then, just when you thought you couldn’t feel anything more, the final dam inside you breaks. Liquid heat washes through you, roaring through your body with all the force of every desire you’ve ever had being met in one singular, perfect moment.

 The waves crashing into you feel so real that it feels like you're soaking through your skin into a puddle of your own arousal.

“Oh, fuuuuck, princess, that’s it…” Boba’s voice strains through clenched teeth and torrid control, the last shreds clinging just barely to his skin. “Fuck yes, you’re f-fucking soaking me, I can’t-shit-I c-can’t… baby, princess, beautiful girl…” 

Your whole world is so soft and warm and full of him that you can’t think a mortal thought, but you know that you have to see the look on his face as he pants and karking whines as his thrusts dissolve into sloppy rutting. With the last of your remaining strength, you peel your wet lashes apart as you shakily tilt your head up. Everything is blurry and rose-hued, and… wet? You try to blink away the clouds in your vision but the bright sheen coating everything below your waist doesn’t disappear.

Seeing your confusion, Boba breaks out into a devilish grin that turns up his flushed cheeks. “See all this, s-sweetheart? See how much a real man c-can make you come?” he puffs out, breaking your gaze to drop his chin to chest. His brows knit together in concentration as if he’s hanging on the very last sliver of restraint. 

You can only watch in downey bliss as he scrapes his hand down your belly to swipe his fingers through the wet rivulets trailing down your thighs, transfixed as he brings them dripping to his swollen lips. When the first finger disappears into his mouth, his eyes roll back and his dick throbs inside your ruined pussy. Realization slams into you watching him lap your juice from his palm like sweet nectar, his arms and shirt damply glinting in the sunlight.

I did that, I made him… holy fucking shit did I-

“Fucking hell, babygirl, I want you to squirt all over me every single kriffing day until I die,” Boba hisses, his wrecked rasp one second away from cracking. “Look like a fucking queen, my queen, lying there s-soaked and gorgeous- aaaahh!”

The revelation that you came so hard on his thick, perfect cock that you blacked out a little and squirted to the point Boba was completely soaked, all on your parents’ dining table makes you sob in pleasure and bare down on him with another blinding orgasm. Your fingernails scrape across the wood grain as you flail mindlessly, your back arching up as your head slams back against the table. This climax isn’t as powerful as the first but it still slings you out into the stars, spinning and tumbling through an aurora of colors and light. 

The sudden emptiness of your cunt is replaced by hot ribbons slicing across your belly, pulling you out of the stars and back into your body. You’ve never had anyone come on you before—you had always insisted on a condom with your ex—and it feels impossibly erotic, almost degrading but in the best possible way; not like Boba didn’t care enough about you not to do it but that he was so out of his usually controlled mind with pleasure that he couldn’t help it. Pleasure that you brought him, pleasure he found in you.

You’re reaching for him, desperate to feel his skin, to know that all of this was real, that he wasn’t going to fade away into a dream. Boba leans forward catching himself on the edge of the table while he sucks in breath after shaky breath. He looks so beautiful fucked-out and soft, his usual sharp edges sanded down into a smooth sea glass that reveals a glimpse of his soul.

Eventually he stills and peeks up at you, watching you with adoring brown eyes. He whispers your name, warm and gentle, a smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. He straightens up and reaches back to pull his t-shirt over his head to mop up your stomach and the liquid pooled between your thighs. His shoulders work in glorious exertion, and you watch in awe at the way his skin ripples with his silent strength. 

Finished, he tucks the garment under his arm and eases your dress from your mouth and rearranges it back over your body, murmuring to wait right there. As if you would want to be anywhere other than here with him.

Boba isn’t gone for long, reappearing at your side with a flannel and a water bottle. He’s wearing a white tank top that fits snugly over his broad chest in such a way that it makes you consider seducing him for another around—if you only had the energy to do so. He coos over you, softly instructing you to lift your arms so he can remove your ruined dress. You happily float along, allowing him to undress you and curl you against his chest on the couch with his flannel laid over you for comfort. It smells of him, rich and warm, and he presses the water bottle to your lips. After several greedy gulps, you pull back and tuck your face into his neck, humming with satisfaction.

The two of you doze for a lazy hour, wrapped up in each other while the afternoon breeze pleasantly tinkles the windchimes on the deck.

Eventually, though, you have to break to clean and reclothe yourself. When you amble back outside, Boba has finished wiping down the table with cleaner and a rag from his truck.

“There she is,” he grins, “how’s my pretty princess feeling?”

“Amazing… a little wobbly,” you add truthfully. You’re not sure if your bones will ever fully resolidify after this. Boba opens his arm and you press yourself against him, relishing his touch while you still have it. You don’t want to think about him leaving. “What about you?”

It’s like he can sense your unease and he pulls you closer, placing a kiss into your hair. “Never been better, you were… kriff, you were amazing, baby. Filthy, perfect, wet… and soft, so so soft,” he groans, wrapping his arms around your waist, “like you were made just for me.” 

He leans in to kiss you but stops when he sees the sullen look on your face. Cocking a brow, he lifts up your chin on two fingers. “What’s that look for?”

You can’t look at him. This is the part where he says goodbye and things go back to normal, where you part ways and pretend like this never happened. He’d be back day after day to finish the backyard, a sore reminder of what you desperately want but will never have. Why couldn’t you just let this be a fun fuck and let it go? Why did your heart have to ache for his?

“I-” you swallow the warble in your voice. “I, um… I don’t want to hold you up if you have another job or something after this.” You’re a big girl, you don’t need him to stay and prolong the inevitable—better to rip it off quick like a band-aid. You toss your head towards the table. “Thanks for cleaning up.”

Boba studies you silently, a frown shadowing his handsome features. Every second that passes with you in his arms has your resolve weakening more and more; too much longer and you’ll shatter against his chest.

“I don’t have anything after this…” He pauses, mulling over his words for a tense moment before continuing. “Is something wrong? Did I hurt you? Please, sweetheart, talk to me, if there’s anything I can do to-”

“No!” You break free from his embrace, hot tears of frustration beading behind your eyes. The last thing you want to do is hurt him but the longer he stays the more it’s going to tear you apart later. Boba steps back, giving you space and your heart twinges in your chest. “You’ve done nothing wrong, really. It’s just…” 

Blowing out a quivering sigh, you force yourself to look him in the eye—he at least deserves that. “It’s just that I don’t like this part, especially with how amazing and wonderful you were. You are. I think it’s just better if we don’t draw this out.” Once again, your eyes drop with the weight of the fast-approaching future.

The following silence is almost unbearably thick, the air congealing to a sodden, soupy haze in your lungs. How could this hurt this much already?

Boba rubs his fingers over his lips thoughtfully, his tan forehead creasing. “Princess… it’s better if we don’t draw ‘what’ out?”

Maker, he is really going to make you say it. No, it wasn’t enough to have made you come so hard you literally soaked the both of you, you have to admit you’re falling for a man twice your age that you’ve known for a month, too. It would be easier to make yourself hate him for that but you can’t bring yourself to confess and do that in the same breath. 

Folding your arms over your chest, you force your focus back on his face. “Boba, I… I know this was just for fun and I’m sorry for making this weird but it would be easier for me if we didn’t pretend this isn’t a goodbye. Like I feel nothing for you. Like you won’t show up here tomorrow like you didn’t fuck me right into my soul in my parents’ backyard.” You squeeze your eyes shut, your fingers curling into tight fists. “Please, just go.”

You can hear Boba shift and you crack open an eye to see him looking at you with longing deep enough to drown in. Finally, he says your name in a voice streaked with a vulnerable emotion you’d never seen him display. “Babygirl, I want you to listen to me, okay? I don’t know how that boy treated you before, but this was never a one time thing to me. I’m far too old to lay down with a woman I don’t intend on having by my side the next day, and all the days after that.” 

Hope seizes your chest as his words settle into you. 

Slowly he moves in front of you, taking your hands in his and gently rubbing them loose like he did before. “Now I’m no poet, sweetheart, I’m just a simple man making his way through life. I can’t make this sound as beautiful as you deserve, but I need you to know that I would never ever do anything to hurt you. I know it’s only been a month but kark, baby, I want you. I want to wake up to you in the mornings and hear your voice when I call you at lunch. I want to bring you tea while you study and make sure you don’t work yourself too hard. Most of all, though, my beautiful girl, I want you to be mine… because I’m already yours.”

The entire world shifts beneath your feet and you collapse into Boba’s waiting arms. When you bury your face into his shoulder, you pinch your thigh to make sure this was all still real. “D-do you,” your voice shakes, your joy threatening to overwhelm you, “do you really mean it?”

He kisses the top of your head and gingerly tilts your face up, caressing the swell of your cheek. “I’ve never been more serious, princess,” he smiles tenderly, “I want to make you mine. If you’ll have me, of course.”

You can’t help the choked laugh that burst from your chest. Pulling him closer, you meet his lips and throw everything you want to say into your kiss, sealing your sentiment into him with the press of your mouth. As much as you want to get lost in his sweet embrace, though, you break to give him an actual answer. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” you giggle breathlessly into him between more kisses. “In fact, I want you to make me yours over and over and over…”

But before you can get too cheeky, he swats your ass with a smirk. “Dirty girl, aren’t you? I’m old enough to be your father, you know.” 

“Ah, well, the younger ones never did it for me anyways. I’ve always wanted a man with some… experience in getting me wet.” You bite your lip playfully and wiggle your brows at him. Now that the oppressive cloud of doubt has lifted from your mind, you feel positively giddy.

Boba smacks your ass again making you squeal in surprised delight. “Now I want you to go upstairs, pick up that cute little dress you ruined, and bring it to me.”

Your breath catches at his dark, delicious tone and you blink up at him, confused—and definitely turned on. “W-Why?”

Boba spins you around to face the house then wraps an arm around your middle to pull you back against his rising chest. “Because, princess,” he murmurs sinfully into your ear, nipping at the tender spot behind it, “I want something to remember you by tonight. Wanna smell that sweet little cunt while I tug on my cock and think about you coming in my mouth. And on my cock. And all over me.”

His salacious request goes straight to your still-swollen clit and you scurry to your room before you can lose your nerve. When you return, you find him leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and expression smug at your obedience. Where your desire to sass him might have been at such pompousness, however, is filled with warm bashfulness as you shuffle over to him. He stretches out the hand that had, until very recently, buried between your legs. Biting your lip, you suddenly can’t bring yourself to look at him as your cheeks burn with aroused embarrassment. 

“Ah ah ah, let me see those pretty eyes, sweetheart,” he tuts. “Let me see that sweet look on your face when you give me the dress I made you squirt all over.”

Heat scalds through you, your heart pumping hot desire into your veins as you drag your eyes to meet his dark ones. Boba takes the dress almost reverently from your hand then brings it up to face and inhales deeply, his eyelids fluttering shut. He groans into the material, desire scraping the sound raw. 

Fuck how are supposed to keep your hands off him long enough to get anything done ever again?

Before you have time to jump his bones, however, Boba’s phone rings loudly, making you jump. He huffs in annoyance and unhooks his phone from his toolbelt. “Sorry, princess, gotta take this.” 

He answers the call, but opens up his arm so you can lean against him. As he talks, his fingers trail up and down your hip, tracing absent-minded patterns that make you glow with affection. The way his body responds to yours, his subconscious little touches, they all confirm his declaration—you’re so happy you might float away if not for his hold on you. All your problems seem far away at the moment and you’re content to leave it that way, if just for now.

When Boba hangs up, he pulls you close to plant a kiss on your forehead. “That was another client of mine,” he explains with a sigh.

You pout. “So you have to go?” 

“Unfortunately.” Kissing you again, he swipes his thumbs over your cheeks. “I’m sorry, baby. I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to, you know I’d much rather be with you. my pretty princess. Can I call you tonight?”

“Of course,” you smile. You enter your number into his phone and send yourself a text. “There. Now you’ll know it’s me.”

Looking down at the collection of suggestive emojis and hearts following your name, Boba lets out a hardy laugh. “As if I could ever forget you, sweetheart.” When he finally extricates himself from your feeble attempt to lock him in your arms, he tucks your dress into his belt with a wink. “For safekeeping,” he assures you.

Once he’s pulled away in his truck, you realize he left his flannel on the couch. Pulling it around your shoulders, you decide that if Boba could still put in an honest day’s work after fucking you senseless, then you could at least get some actual studying in. After all, your night is already booked.

[elevatormusic]

my first reactions with zero context: only friends ep 7

oh boy oh no please be careful

how can you even see right now move your hair lmao

sir what was that

let’s be real tho we been knew that was gonna happen

god you do not deserve that man

yeah there is. do it again

hell yeah tell his ass

i know he said that offhandedly but he’s spot on

again..

he actually did change it to him😭😭 bro y’all just met

seriously nothing is ever your fault king never apologize he deserved that

okay now apologize to sand tf??

whomst? father? didn’t know he had one

he should go to jail tbh

damn bringing that up huh

yo why are you asking his friend to help him? you’re his father

babe idk what you expected none of y’all are good friends to each other lmao

yeah look at that he was right about something

lmao what you doing

okay he’s a dick but he’s not self destructive

oh he’s knows

crying love how they’re like yeah not ray

calm down? sir you invaded his privacy

okay well that’s not his fault they all hate you

saying he started it isn’t even true tho. you fucked him

sorry i still don’t feel bad for him

starfund? what does his shirt say?

crying he’s told you so many times that they didn’t

laughable

i think they’re overshadowed now my guy

that’s a fire hazard put it out

well that’s debatable

don’t enjoy that they’re going back to normal already

no way he stops drinking lmao not even to heal

it’s your fault😭

don’t you do it. treat him like a friend sand i stg

he very clearly just said why

i know you’re not trying to say you’re not

HE WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND????? YOU CAUSE HIM THE MOST STRESS

my mans said i ain’t got a dad top that

you are his life problem

bc y’all never help him when he has a problem?

punch him back bro fuck him

ton has to show up lmao they still have a project to finish

ray doesn’t seem as in love with mew anymore

oop there he is

friend??? i’m so serious you’re an idiot

you’re really doing that again? bruh own up to your shit for once in your life

i’m sorry fighting in a pool must have been so hard😭😭

with a thief😭

yeah justice he did justice

happiness? he was never gonna date you lmao

dog let him move out fuck him too

well get over him like that’s on you

is he angry drawing lol

okay well that’s creepy

babes back again!!!

friendship? lmao

ray ray ray stop getting into fights for him

*sigh*

no but he keeps fucking hurting sand

bleh

internally screaming and vomiting wtf is this no

i’m so serious sand leave his life you don’t deserve this

[whysojiminimnida]

According to today's convo : hyung line- have no problem about perila leaves becuse they trust their partners so much and is very practical. But JK was not. So if jkk is real doesn't this mean JK don't trust Jimin ? Because he straight went from perila leaves to marriage, even Jimin was confused how his thought process went. Why would he have problem, his bf of many years just using same chopstick to separate perila leaves of his friend ? Oh this is so problematic. Think they will fall in love and marry just because of some food ? Is this how he view his SO (if it's not jimin ) ?

Oh Lord, the Future Moms Of Incels Club has brought their best and brightest on today.

I gather this is the bit you're talking about, but it comes from this video. And I feel like you missed some things. On purpose, likely, or just due to failure to IDK, WATCH ORIGINAL CONTENT.

The debate is on at approximately 21:45 or thereabouts. Do a little scrolling OR, IDK, watch the whole thing. For truth and context. I feel like I say that a lot. At least watch it from about 21:00 forward.

Meanwhile...

I'm gonna give you a little life tip that might help you before your 35 year old son refuses to move the fuck out the basement or wash his waifu pillow because you taught him that every relationship was fraught with "oh such problems" drama and that All Things Must Be Taken Literally: Please just stop this entire behavior before you breed. Literally, just stop it. It's not a healthy approach, much less an attractive quality. I am hopeful that you have time to outgrow it before you have an actual relationship. You're making the effort to think about this hard enough to write to me. To my tiny ass piece of the internet to try to disprove a relationship between two people based solely on a one minute interaction. And because you did not watch the original content, you missed a number of things.

I MEAN say what you want about Koo's jealous streak but Yoongi went "heh heh" and full on enacted the whole romantic scene with Jimin. And smirked about it. I ain't mad at it because this is at most a game show. It is literally BTS giving us RUN without actually giving us RUN. They're playing. I mean sure, yes, Jungkook is a possessive man and we love that about him but we also love that Jimin just smiles sweetly at him and lets him be that. They like this about each other, anon. It works for them. Or haven't you noticed?

This type of flirty posturing on both their parts is just part of their dynamic and they live for this shit. That you haven't caught onto it is a whole you problem, don't make it theirs.

And Jimin actually said that his partner should give HIM the perilla leaf, not his friend, because he's the boyfriend. Did you miss that bit? Oh you did. Then you probably also missed the part where Jimin called out the production team for setting them up to argue:

Because that's exactly what was going on and everyone knew it. Everyone else, I mean.