#calling this one

[flawlesslogic5]

What If Ford Had Been Arrested in 1982?

Ford is SO lucky that the cops in Gravity Falls didn't go a lot harder on him while he was possessed by Bill.

Public indecency, disturbing the peace, property damage, messing with an officer, any one of those could and would get you arrested, not to mention the fact that he probably seemed like he'd been taking something to act that way.

I'm sure Bill wouldn't have allowed them to arrest Ford, but he was still trapped in the body of a sleep-deprived, probably at least semi dehydrated and malnourished guy up against fully rested cops with weapons, numbers, and society on their side. If they really wanted to, the police could have incapacitated Ford and taken him into custody.

I mean, they could have taken him in on suspicion of having taken drugs alone, the rest is just icing on the cake.

So if they had taken him in, I'm not sure what the exact policy would be. Stick him in the drunk tank till he sobers up? Take him to a hospital? Gravity Falls is a small town, it's late at night, they might not have the resources to take him out of town. I'm inclined to think they decide to just keep him there for a bit till they can sort out their next steps.

I'm between Bill fighting tooth and nail to get out of letting them take him in because he finds the human 'justice' system hilarious. Sitting a dangerous person in a small, easy to escape from room with other dangerous people? Sounds like a fun evening to him!

Once they do prisoner intake (and boy, does the officer on duty feel a little sick after that one- between the disturbing marks on his hands to the yellow eyes, this might be the worst intake that he's done in a long, long time), Bord (Bill as Ford) requests a phone call- surely he's entitled to one under meat sack legal laws!

So they let him have one. Maybe they just don't want to fight him on it. Maybe they're hoping he'll call his dealer so they can nip whatever this is in the bud. But he clumsily keys in a phone number and stares at a wall like it's a person as he makes the call.

Across the country, in a shitty New Mexico motel, Stan Pines answers the vaguely crusty phone in his room, thinking it's the front desk asking for payment he'll need to dodge. He answers, because it would be way too suspicious not to.

"Hello?"

"Hey, brother, it's Sixer. I'm going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, and I might not ever come back, so if you don't hear from me, I just want you to know that it's because I never loved you. BUH-BYEEEEE!"

Before Stan can say anything, before Stan can do anything, before Stan can breathe the line dies. He's left with nothing but a high pitched ringing on the line and someone screaming.

Oh wait. It's him. He's screaming.

Meanwhile, the police wince at each other while dragging Bord to the drunk tank to cool off. They quietly decide to have someone stick with him, just in case, since that phone call was... really something.

Once he's out of the room, one of the officers quietly decides to redial the number their prisoner called.

Once he realized he was screaming, Stan quickly stopped and began to punch in a number he'd memorized front and back- Ford's number. He'd say something this time, he had to.

But before he can key in the last number, ironically enough a 6, the phone rings. Stan answers it, hoping, hoping, hoping. "Sixer?"

"Hello, this is Lieutenant Winston from the Gravity Falls Police Department. I'm calling in regards to a, er, phone call you may have just received."

Well. Unexpected, but Gravity Falls sounds about right, Stan's pretty sure that's where Ma told him Ford was living. "Is my brother there?" he asks, cutting to the chase.

"Stanford Pines? Yes, we have him."

"What happened?"

"He's been arrested for public indecency, disturbing the peace, assaulting an officer, and suspected drug usage."

Stan whistled. "Damn." Ford was as much of a troublemaker as Stan was as a kid, but public indecency? Drugs? None of that sounded like Ford. Stan, sure, but not Ford, not the golden boy, not the genius, not the one who was going places.

"Frankly, sir, we're very concerned about his mental health, especially after... what he just said to you a minute ago."

Well, Stan may hate cops with a burning passion, and he sure didn't like the idea of one listening in on his conversation with Ford, but at least this one seemed to understand that this wasn't normal.

"You have him in custody?" Stan asks to confirm his suspicions.

"Yes. He's been arrested but we haven't formally charged him with anything just yet."

"Got it." That would keep Ford at least a little safe, for now. No jumping in the lake for him, at least. Stan knew better than most that there were still... opportunities... that he could take in a cell, but this might just buy Stan a little time to get there.

"Frankly, sir, I'd feel much better releasing him into the custody of a family member than keeping him here. It's his first offence, and he seems unwell. Do you know of any history with substances he may have?"

Stan knew better than to tell a cop anything. Especially since he didn't know. Best to be evasive.

"Honestly, it's been a long time since we've seen each other," he says instead. "You're in Gravity Falls, right? In Oregon?"

"Yes, sir."

"Alright, I'm in New Mexico right now but I'll be there tomorrow."

"Yes, sir. By the way, what's your name? I have to keep a record of who the outgoing calls go to."

Stan panics for a moment. He's wanted in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and probably still West Virginia if he's being honest. He's not sure if word of that would get to Middle of Nowhere, Oregon, but he doesn't want to chance it, not when Stanford needs him.

Before he can second guess how stupid this is, he blurts out "Shermie Pines, I'm his brother."

[enigmaart]

AU I made up the other day based on Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid + a shichikal comic I saw once

Basically human AU Kalego (Keigo) accidently summons Balam while drunk and convinces him to be his maid. Balam is delighted to be around a human. Typical "one fell first the other fell harder" situation

[wholelottatransbians]

New Wondrous inspired AU, because the Wonder Woman brainrot is always real.

Basically: Inko and Hippolyta are married, Satomi is their daughter (born of clay like Diana was), and both Midoriya's go back to Japan so that Satomi can attend UA. Hijinx ensue.

[mjrtaurus]

Fuck it, I like the idea enough to give it its own post.

I give you the Cursed AU, it’s a real world setting with fantasy and canon elements sprinkled in.

There will likely be art to come

Crocodile is a pirate that spares no quarter in his cruelty and greed. He will dog a ship for leagues to raid it for even the pettiest of baubles. He will pay no mind to who he must cut down to secure the object of his whims, be they friend or foe. He will play with lives and he will play with hearts, all if it means he gets what he wants.

And if he cannot have something or someone? Then he will be sure that no one can.

When he catches a ship, it is in a person’s best interest to die in the raid. A prisoner kept in Crocodile’s brig might as well be at the mercy of the devil himself. The only people that leave alive are those he throws to the crocodiles of the cove he weighs anchor in.

As one could imagine, he cares little for the gods or their temples, only the treasures associated with them. He could plunder, yes, but he could work smarter and hold an entire community hostage over a single relic of religious significance… so he does, sending priests and acolytes alike to the crocodiles, stealing precious artifacts, bullying and extorting to his heart’s content…

It’s for this particular slight that the Sea curses him.

At sunset one summer evening, She appeared to him and his crew. Aglow with the ghost-light of the green flash, she tears the still beating heart from his chest and holds it over the rail, above the waves. The crocodiles that paddle in the water below make way for the largest among them, who rears its massive head and opens its jaws. The Sea lets his heart fall into them, and they close with a snap.

All the greed in Crocodile’s heart twists the beast into a monster that is forever bound to him in a life made eternal.

By the Sea’s decree, he feels the creature’s endless, ravenous hunger as if it is his own. No food or drink he takes will soothe it, no matter how much or how often it passes his lips, for it all crumbles to nothing the moment he swallows it down. He can only sate himself by feeding the beast.

Even then, the relief is fleeting. The more he feeds the monster, the larger it grows, the deeper its appetite becomes, and all the darker its desires. He must raid and raid and raid, feed it and feed it and feed it, or depravity and starvation that isn’t his own will drive him mad.

If he flees from it, it will follow him to wherever it is that he’s hidden himself. There is no distance or terrain that will keep it from him. It will kill and destroy and glut itself and torment him until it either finds him, or he returns to it.

He cannot be killed, not by his own hand or any other. No matter how fatal the wound, he will heal, and be spared none of the pain. Death will take him by no means but one: killing the beast.

It is simple enough, but it comes at a terrible cost.

His soul.

However, there is a way to break the curse. A way that the Sea doesn’t tell him. If She did, it would only doom him.

If he were to kill the beast to save someone he loves from its jaws, then his heart will be returned to him. His heart, his life, his soul, his mortality, all of it.

The love doesn’t have to be requited. It doesn’t have to be romantic. It doesn’t have to last forever. It just has to be love, true and deep and real.

[sowearecleariamhere]

has this been done

[skipppppy]

So there’s a trend going round where you draw Miku inspired by your own culture and normally I just sit those out bc i’m from England but then the image of her covered in fake tan with the full chav makeup and sloppily bleached blue pigtails popped into my head and i almost threw up laughing. So here’s bri’ish Miku. She smells like impulse body spray and spent the last 30 minutes arguing with the teacher who told her to take her coat off. It’s chewsday innit

edit: i fucked up with the cigarette i know it’s the wrong way round blease stop making fun of me 😔💔

[bonesandthebees]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

[shattered-daydream]

I was inspired

[chessb0r3d]

Analysis so bad you don't even know what it's talking about anymore.

[anotherpapercut]

I don't really think it's fair to dismiss the idea that that guy might have been framed for killing the CEO as like an unfounded conspiracy theory when NYPD has a proven history of planting/fabricating evidence on people. in 2011 there was a massive investigation of the NYPD and hundreds of cases against people were dismissed after a former police officer testified that they literally have a name for planting evidence on people: flaking. you cannot be out here acting like considering the possibility that cops who do this shit under normal circumstances might possibly also do it when they're under intense global pressure and scrutiny is the same as republicans thinking democrats run a secret pedophile ring in the basement of a pizza restaurant

[stealingpotatoes]

some alternative eras of lady normalgirl and her eunuch <3

[kiryuing]

[hansoeii]

A latte with lots of love!

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[redbowkid-27]

Hanging out with bestie