#called my boyfriend crying because i want emotional support but he did not console me at all so i hung up

[pinkiboba]

the eldest daughter’s mommy issues to do everything by ourselves because everybody else will just mess it up by trying to help but wanting their help because doing it alone makes you feel like no one loves you

[stressedemoblackbratz]

pretend

pairing: shuri x singer!black reader

warnings: swearing and fading relationship between reader and her boyfriend

a/n: as you can tell, i was definitely inspired by Zay’s own writing (the title has magically excused itself from my brain (i’m thinking lemonade, but i don’t wanna fuck up) my apologies, but i’m gonna blame that on finals). i loved the chapters and it inspired me to write something after a year. those euphoria requests wore me out lol. also, i don’t mention the death of anyone in this story. it didn’t happen…okay? okay! i might do a backstory to this? I’m not really sure, but we’ll see. i hope you enjoy babes!

words: 1.4k + not proofread

let's pretend we never met. a good excuse to play forget. let's pretend you never lied, so i can give it up all night, swallow my pride, and learn to forgive. when i'm looking for love i pretend it's you. a love that never ends.

the bed was cold, your lace band was on snug, and the food you cooked for your boyfriend of 2 years was cold.

and after all that damn cooking?

he could throw away the food and clean the dish he didn’t get to eat.

2 years and this was life. you used to bask in each others presence, go on dates, write poems together, make appearances, but now?

now you barely saw him because he was rehearsing lines with his new costar and you were trying to finish your album.

he didn’t look at you the same anymore, the house was cold, and those i love you’s we’re definitely empty.

you were perfect and just like that it was gone.

pretending like you were fine was the only thing you two had in common.

you remember one morning darius got a call stating he nailed his audition and filming would start soon. that night you two attended a movie premiere then at the after party you met t’challa and he introduced you to his sister, shuri.

now it was forced smiles on the red carpets, powdering your face after cry sessions, lying for him, and him avoiding questions about you slyly.

real enough.

now shuri, your producer for your upcoming 3rd studio album, she knew better.

she watched you write the songs, cry mid recording, consoled you when you came in with puffy eyes and swollen lips, fed you when you realized it had been some time between your last meal due to the fast paced life…she picked up the pieces.

and she hated it because she’s in love with you.

“okay! okay! but sza? ctrl literally raised me…sos is gonna eat.” you proclaimed to shuri one night after recording one song and touching up two others. it was crunch time and your label and fans wanted the album soon.

laughing at your seriousness she put the pho she had ordered down. the light you got in your eyes while speaking on the popular album was so cute to her.

you loved this shit as much as she did.

you were raw. letting each emotion out in each song and showcasing your life to shuri before showing it to those who supported you and your craft. you didn’t put on a facade in front of her even after you had been pretending for awhile.

“for me uh…” shuri paused to think after her giggles died down. she licked her bottom lip before flicking her eyes to yours. “definitely ego death by the internet. they raised me and i hope that their next album isn’t their last. i’d scream out to bast.” she started giggling again with you joining in.

two beautiful women discussing a mutual love.

“hey y/n. listen baby, i’m gonna be late, but i promise i didn’t forget.” you could hear aeva, darius’s costar, giggling in the back. “see you soon, love you.” he quickly said before the recording clicked in an ending.

according to him he wasn’t with her intimately, but you knew him. he was drawing away for awhile, way before this role. you wanted the peace of not caring or wondering what he was doing. wondering if what he once felt for you was what he felt for her just times ten.

in that moment, with tears in your bottom lash line and legs criss crossed sitting in the large black satin bed, you knew him coming home in a few hours, waking you up with sex and sorry’s you’ve learned not to believe wouldn’t cut it this time.

it hurt so bad to know that you were done.

it hurt more to know you gave up, not that the love died. you had already grieved on that. you tried so hard, but it takes two.

but you were so happy because you’d be able to address those growing feelings you had for a certain wakandan producer.

those feelings you suppressed to honor what was left of your expiring relationship.

all of that was over. you decided it.

climbing out of the king sized bed, you made your way to the bathroom. after cleaning up your face and sighing at the water clumped lash extensions, you decided you needed to shower to sooth the ache you felt simmer in your heart.

while rinsing the soap off of you, you realized your bedroom would make you feel suffocated. you needed to leave.

the only place close by though? shuri’s studio.

quickly drying off, moisturizing, putting on deodorant, and changing into a light pink crochet top, panties, black shorts, and the most beat up pair of crocs you owned, it was almost time to go.

a purse and jacket on one arm with your phone and keys in the other hand led you downtown.

shuri was up playing with beats. you needed one more song on the album before your label would review it and decide on the next steps.

she didn’t want the hard work you had done to not be cleared. this final beat would put you and her in the spotlight. this album was your baby and in a way, hers too.

she hadn’t heard griot announce your presence as she nodded her head to the beat, but she acknowledged your existence when she smelt your signature scent overwhelm her nostrils.

you definitely noticed her. she smelt so good and looked even better. her curls hung in front of her face, different vibranium rings across all 10 fingers, wearing low hanging sweats, and a tight beater that helped show off her lean, but muscular frame.

“y/n?” she called turning around. by the look of your eyes her heart dropped, but she could notice a different kind of look on your face compared to what she usually saw associated with that feature.

“what’s wrong, entle? kukho into ayenzileyo?” she asked stopping the beat, queuing a different track, and grasping your hands.

you smiled at her urgency. she was always so sweet to you.

“shuri you know i’m still learning. i only caught you calling me beautiful.” you teased with a smile. her heart didn’t feel as heavy anymore with that look. it wasn’t forced, just playful.

“kukho into ayenzileyo, i asked did he do something?” shuri said with a light smile and knowing eyes. yours darkened a bit before you looked away and contemplated on the best way to tell her.

“he promised he wouldn’t miss dinner again, he did and it’s because he wants to be with her.” shuri frowned at his actions.

“i can’t take this anymore so i’ve decided when he comes home i’ll let him know we’re done. i’m going to make sure he gets a good mover for his items and i find a good locksmith so he can’t come back.” you revealed. saying it out loud made you feel lighter.

“i’m giving it all up. i choose me and my happiness.” you whispered as she brought you into her chest. the slight jolt she endured as a result of you slamming into her made her bump the play button and start the last song you recorded together.

let’s pretend that we bout to break up…to catch the feelings so we can make up…

“i’m…i’m proud of you! this whole album was you baring it all and finding yourself…this might be the end of a chapter. you’re stepping into a new book.” shuri spoke to you. she was tired of picking up the pieces he broke. she was tired of seeing you try to fix them.

let’s pretend i ain’t your friend so we can get it on again.

“ndiyakuthandana.” she whispered her love to you.

so we can get it on again. let’s pretend we never met, a good excuse to play forget.

“nam ndiyakuthanda” you whispered right back.

i pretend it’s you…that i’m in love with…

a tattooed hand gripped the side of your face before shuri questioned you.

“you mean that shit?” she lowly whispered.

you looked into her dark eyes and thought about everything. the first session, your recent session, the parties, the conversations, the outings, the meals you ate together, the secrets you told, the feelings you shared, everything you’ve experienced with her or because of her you wouldn’t trade.

you did mean it.

a thousand times you’d say yes.

with a nod from you shuri lifted your head from her chest and kissed you.

she’s been waiting for it.

that kiss was one of many that night. clothes left on the soundboard, seven mixed calls and a few texts left from darius ignored, the sun started to come up, and a new life was brewing on the horizon.

pretending led you to what you really wanted.

shuri.

[nocturnalwildflower]

hurt; asher adams

summary: y/n finally opens up to asher about suffering from mental illnesses and self-harming

warning(s): SELF-HARM, depression, anxiety, cursing, mentions of parents dying, trauma, asher being cute af (not a warning but prepare yourselves hehe)

wc: 5.0k

A/N (PLEASE READ): I hope you all enjoy this and I lowkey got the idea from my own struggles with depression and anxiety, and I wanted to shine a light on self-harm although I haven’t experienced it personally. Please do not read this is self-harm or depression is a trigger for you as the whole basis of this one shot is self-harm and depression and the demons you face. Remember it’s okay to talk, and if you’re suffering, PLEASE get help. This one shot is an in-depth reality of depression that most people don’t know about and the aftermath of a depressive episode

masterlist ♡ prompt list

It was no secret to the Baker family that Y/N suffered with depression and severe anxiety because of her past. When Y/N’s parents passed away in a horrible car accident when she was only 6, Laura and Billy had no hesitation when it came to adopting her as one of their own as they were best friends with Y/N’s parents. It became apparent early on that Y/N suffered from depression and anxiety due to the trauma she had experienced, therefore the Bakers’ tried everything they could to make her feel safe, welcome and happy as well as sending her to therapy. The majority of the time, Y/N had a really good handle on things and went years without having a depressive breakdown, however, this year marked 10 years without her parents. The closer the day came, the more breakdowns she suffered, and Y/N couldn’t help but wonder why her parents had to die that day.

Not that she didn’t appreciate everything the Bakers’ have done for her, but she couldn’t help but wonder how much happier she would be if her parents didn’t die in that accident; how she wouldn’t be suffering and feeling like the only release was self-harming. She was too embarrassed to tell anyone how she was feeling, so she just resorted to self-harm as a way of releasing the pain, which seemed to be working. Her thoughts were interrupted when Billy knocked on her door and peaked her head in.

“Hey sweetie. No school again today?” he asked in a heavyhearted tone. Honestly, it broke his heart to see Y/N suffer with depression and begin her spiral into a depressive episode. He knew that there was only so much they could to for her, which included getting her a therapist whom she sees off and on depending on how bad her depressive breakdowns are. Y/N let out a sigh before responding.

“Next week, I promise!” she said in a somewhat cheery tone. Billy knew that this was just a ruse to get him to leave her room, however it did the opposite and he took a seat next to her on the bed.

“Sweetie, I think it’s time we put in a call to Dr. Morales and get you some appointments set up. We all love you so much and we hate seeing you suffer like this … please consider it,” he said, and Y/N’s eyes began to fill with tears. She knew that things were getting out of hand if he was suggesting therapy again, and she knew it meant she was going to have to face her demons yet again. Her lip began to quiver before she let out a cry, burying her head into his shoulder while he consoled her. She continued to sob, not knowing how to control her emotions and letting out as many tears as she could to get rid of the pain, even if it only a temporary form of release. Eventually, she had calmed herself down enough to speak to him.

“Billy, thank you so much for everything you and Laura have done for me over the past 10 years. I know this is hard to deal with, having a daughter with mental health issues, but I’m trying so hard to battle these demons like I have all the other times, it’s just too hard for me to do this alone …” Y/N said while wiping away her tears.

“You’re not alone Y/N. You have all of us here, and we will continue to support you until you are better. You know how much we love you and you know how much you’ve impacted our life, in a good way, but I think maybe it’s time to be honest with Asher about it … he’s going to find out eventually, and maybe if he knew what was happening, he could help you through this with us,” Billy said. He knew that having her boyfriend by her side through this battle would help her drastically; Y/N looked at him with a sorrow look in her eyes before responding.

“I-I know I need to tell him … I’m just not ready for him to see me this vulnerable yet. I promise, I’ll tell him when I’m ready,” she replied in a raspy voice. He smiled before giving her a kiss on the forehead and leaving her alone to be with her thoughts. No one knew she had been self-harming, so it was easy for them to leave her alone for the duration of the day; she hadn’t done it in a few days, and although there was a small voice inside her head that kept telling her to just pick up a blade and do it. She waited until she heard the front door close, signaling everyone was gone, before getting up and heading towards the bathroom. Y/N inhaled sharply before she opened the drawer where she kept her tools, staring at the blade for a few seconds, contemplating if this was the right thing to do and thinking about what Billy said to her. “We all love you so much and we hate seeing you suffer.” They loved her and they had given her so much, so why couldn’t she just let this go and stop? She inhaled sharply before picking up a blade, bringing it to her skin, and cutting, letting out a small whimper as the blood began to come out from her skin.

-

Back at school, Asher knew something was up with Y/N. The twins kept telling him that she was sick, but she had been dodging his calls and texts all week. He knew something was wrong because even if she was sick, there was no reason why she was avoiding his calls; usually all she wanted when she was sick was to cuddle with him and spend time with him. He decided to pull out his phone and text her one last time to see if maybe she was in the mood to talk about what was going on.

Hey baby, I know we’ve barely talked at all this week but I just wanted to say that you’re an amazing girlfriend and I can’t wait until you’re better so I can come see you!

He knew she more than likely wouldn’t respond, which wasn’t like her at all. To his surprise, his phone vibrated, and his face lit up when he saw that it was Y/N’s contact. The text was just a simple “You too,” but that was enough for him to have some concerns … she was always one to use emojis for almost everything and would usually get upset if he wasn’t using them enough.

“Okay guys, seriously what’s happening with Y/N? It’s almost like she’s fallen off the face of the earth, she’s hardly answering any texts, and she hasn’t been to school all week… I know she isn’t sick,” Asher said as he caught up to Jordan and Olivia after the final bell rang. Jordan let out a sigh, knowing that it wasn’t up to him and Olivia to tell him what was really happening with her however he knew they had to tell him something to get him off their backs.

“Asher, it’s just best that you talk to her yourself, it’s not up to Olivia and I to tell you what’s going on with her, it’s her choice on whether she wants you to know. I’m home by myself tonight, why don’t you come over and see her for yourself?” Jordan replied in a somewhat annoyed tone.

“Sounds good,” Asher said before getting into his car. He knew Jordan had a point, it wasn’t up to him and Olivia to tell him what was happening with his girlfriend. He hadn’t told her yet, but he was in love with her and cared about her more than anyone even realized. The boys on the team constantly made fun of him for how much he cared about her, but now he was beginning to think something else was going on with her. Was she cheating on him and couldn’t tell him? Did he come on too strong and force her into a relationship when she wasn’t ready? Did she want to break up and felt like couldn’t say anything to him about it? These thoughts kept flooding his mind from the time he walked in the door of his house until the time he left to go hang out with Jordan and get to the bottom of this behaviour.

-

Later on that evening, Y/N was sitting quietly watching her favourite show when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She already knew it was Jordan because he was the only one home that night, so she closed her laptop and told him to come in. He peaked his head in before opening the door wider to reveal her boyfriend Asher, angering her.

“Jordan, I said I didn’t want any visitors. Asher included!” Y/N said angrily. Jordan just shrugged before mumbling a quick ‘sorry’ and turning around to exit her room, leaving Asher alone in her doorway. She rolled to face the opposite side of the room in order to avoid looking at him, hoping that he would get fed up with her and leave, however this act did the complete opposite.

“Y/N, you’ve been couped up in this room for over a week now … You’re dodging everyone’s calls and texts, skipping school, sulking away in your room and shutting us out. This isn’t like you at all, what is happening?” he asked in a soft, loving tone. Asher wanted her to open up about why she was feeling this way, even though he knew it was because the anniversary of her parents’ death was coming up. He had seen it before, she usually got sad for about a week but was okay otherwise, however this was different and something he had never seen before; he has never seen her shut her friends out and completely isolate herself from the rest of the world.

“Asher go away,” Y/N mumbled to her boyfriend as she sat up, staring at him with a somber look. Asher moved closer to her, eventually sitting on the end of her bed and staring into her gorgeous eyes. He could tell something was wrong with her; her hair was up in a bun that looked like it hadn’t been taken out in days, her eyes were puffy, the colour in her face was gone and she looked like she hadn’t eaten in days either. He hated seeing her suffer like this and knew he had to do something about it.

“Y/N, please tell me what’s happening. I want to be here for you, but I can’t unless you open up and tell me what’s wrong,” he responded, keeping his eyes on Y/N.

“It’s been 10 years Ash, 10 years since I last saw or spoke to my parents and I can’t even explain to you how much pain I’m in because of it. I’m so fucking embarrassed that it’s come to this, I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I was feeling and tell anyone how bad my depression had gotten, so I found another way to cope with the pain …” Y/N replied in a somber tone. She inhaled sharply before lifting up her sleeve hesitantly and exposing her forearm. Realistically, this was not a conversation she was prepared to have with him; quite frankly she never wanted him to find out and she was hoping this would all blow over before she needed to tell him. Y/N tried her best to keep the tears from rolling for her face, but they slowly started to fall from her beautiful Y/E/C orbs. She felt like she was being weak, risking her relationship with Asher by being vulnerable and showing him how much she was struggling.

Asher kept his eyes fixed on Y/N’s forearm. There was a slight discolouration where she had cut her arm with a razor blade recently as well as some faded scars further up her arm. He felt completely infuriated with himself that he let his girlfriend go through this alone and that she felt like she couldn’t come to him for help. He knew something was up when she never wanted to spend the night with him, but he blew it off because he didn’t want to pressure her into anything she didn’t want to do. He began to ponder about why she never came to him for help, until he realized that he had been so focused on keeping his endurance up during the off season and focusing on the next football season that he completely neglected her. Asher took Y/N’s hand into his, interlacing their fingers while gently lifting her chin so their eyes met.

“Y/N I’m so sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me with this. I’m so angry that I let you go through this alone and made you believe that I wouldn’t support you. I want you to know that I’m still here, and I don’t plan on leaving. I’m here baby, you don’t need to hold on to this alone anymore because we’re going to get through this together. You have no idea how much better my life is because you’re in it, you have no reason to ever doubt this relationship and I’m not going to lose you because of your mental health,” he said, bringing his lips gently to her. More tears began rolling down her face as he continued to kiss her, placing his hands on her hips and pulling her closer to him. She gently pulled herself away from him before speaking up.

“Ash, you were so busy with training and I didn’t want to bother you with this because-” she began before Asher cut her off.

“Y/N enough. You and your mental health are much more important than anything right now, I’m here for you and we’re going to get through this because I love you so much it fucking hurts. Watching you spiral into a depressive episode is not something I want to see happen and I would do anything for you, you know damn well I’m not letting you go through this alone,” he replied with a smile. Y/N felt the butterflies in her stomach when she heard him say it. Those 3 little words. The words she thought she would never hear anyone tell her. I love you. She couldn’t believe that Asher Adams actually said that to someone like her when he just witnessed her in a state of depression. Y/N tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and looked at him with loving eyes.

“Y-you love me?” she asked in a quiet tone. Asher gave her a confused look and laughed.

“Who wouldn’t? Y/N, you are hands down one of the best people to be around and you always make sure everyone is always having a good time. You’re smart, kind, caring, beautiful … the list could go on all day. You have no idea how happy I was when you agreed to go out with me, and I’m so thankful for everything you’ve done to help me and how happy you’ve made me. Now it’s time to get you back to being as happy as you were when we first started dating. I’ll say it again, Y/N Y/L/N I fucking love you, despite the demons you are currently battling” he said in a soothing voice, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers again. Y/N gently placed her hand on his neck and pulled him closer so that he was laying on top of her. She had to admit that it felt good to finally have this burden off her shoulders and she felt so much better now that Asher knew the truth. He pulled away and looked her up and down before speaking.

“Why don’t you spend the night at my place? You’ve been couped up in this room for over a week and a change of scenery might be good, plus if you’re up for it we could talk about all of this. Like I said Y/N, we’re going to get through this together because I love you,” he said in a soft tone, caressing her cheek and leaning in for one more small kiss. Y/N looked at him with loving eyes and smiled before she responded.

“I love you too … please take me home with you, that’s all I want right now babe,” she whimpered out in a soft voice. Asher proceeded to pack her a bag with everything she needed to spend the night at his place and grabbed her hand, gently leading her down the stairs and into his car. She had to admit that even something as small as leaving her bed made her feel better to some degree, but she knew this was only one small step towards beating this illness.

-

As soon as they walked in the door, Asher sat her down and made them both something to eat, making sure her meal was full of food that made her feel happy, however the smile on her face quickly faded when the food was placed in front of her. Demon #1: having to eat your first meal after a depressive breakdown. Asher picked up on this behaviour rather quickly and placed his hand in hers, grabbing her attention.

“I know it’s going to be hard for you to eat after that depressive breakdown, but you haven’t eaten in days baby. You need food in your system, please just try,” he said in a heavyhearted tone, earning him a half-smile and a small nod from his girlfriend. Truth be told, she didn’t want to eat; she was too embarrassed about what had just happened and was so emotionally exhausted to think about anything, her mind kept drifting and she kept thinking about how much she wanted this moment to be over so she could sleep the pain away. Y/N finished about half the food her lovely boyfriend had made for her, however this was more than enough to satisfy him, he was just proud that she tried for him.

After they finished eating, Asher took it upon himself to de-tangled Y/N’s hair from the bun it had been in before leading her to the shower and helping her strip down, knowing that she was too emotionally exhausted to do it all herself. He joined her in the shower, helping her wash her hair and comb it out, in addition to making sure her body was clean. He always kept a bottle of her shampoo, conditioner and body wash as his house, just in case she ever needed it while staying there. He made sure he had a warm towel for her afterwards and helped her brush her teeth; he picked her up bridal style, bringing her into his bedroom and gently laying her on the bed, staring into her eyes that were still as beautiful as the first time he looked at them.  

Y/N laid her head on Asher’s chest, eyes focused on the movie that was playing on the flat screen television in front of them. He was too busy admiring her, thinking about how much he loved her and how lucky he was to have a girl like her, despite what she was going through. Her breathing was stable and somehow, she seemed to look even more perfect than earlier; she was playing with the hem of Asher’s shirt and turned to face him, catching him staring at her. She gently pushed herself up, closing the gap between them and bringing their lips together when his hands found their way around her waist, positioning her body on top of him. Her hands found their way to his head, ruffling his hair up while he pulled her in tighter, moving his lips from her mouth to her neck while mumbling a quick ‘I love you’ and placing his hands on her bum, before she stopped him.

“Asher I can’t … I can’t have sex with you this just isn’t the right time,” Y/N said in a fearful but quiet voice. Demon #2: being intimate with him after he just saw you in a vulnerable state. She began to tremble and proceeded to let out a small cry, releasing the tears she was holding in and placing her head in the crook of his neck. He began to slowly rub her back and coo in her ear to calm her down.

“Woah Y/N, that’s not what I was doing my love. Of course I want to have sex with you and show you how much I love you, but right now if definitely not the time. You don’t owe me anything, especially not your virginity, I love you whether we have sex or not. Just come here, try to stay calm and breathe babe,” Asher cooed as he let Y/N sob into his neck. He continued to rub her back, knowing that the only way she was going to progress towards success was by letting her release all of her emotions appropriately and he continued to coo in her ear until she began to calm down. His shirt was absolutely drenched in her tears, however eventually, she had stopped crying, pulling away to look at her boyfriend before she took a deep breath and began to speak.

“I’m sorry Asher I-” she began before he cut her off.

“Y/N, no apologizing please. Are you okay? What do you need me to do right now to make you feel safe and comfortable?” he asked in a soft tone. She put all her focus into taking nice, big, deep breaths as he continued to rub her back until he was given any sort of direction from her.

“Just lay here with me and hold onto my tightly, don’t let go until I fall asleep,” Y/N responded in a calm tone. Asher happily positioned himself so that their bodies were in the perfect position, he wrapped his arms around her and held on tight as she sighed in relief, giving him the impression that this was perfect; they laid there peacefully and quietly until they both snoozed off.

-

The following morning, Y/N woke up alone in Asher’s bed, knowing he was downstairs making her breakfast; he knew she hasn’t been getting a lot of sleep due to her anxiety and knew she would appreciate catching up on her sleep. She sat up on his bed and stretched, rolling onto the other side of the bed to check her phone; as expected, she had a text from Laura telling her that Billy and Jordan had filled her in on what was going on and reminded her that she was so loved in their family. She smiled, knowing that she had a wonderful family that will help her through this and an even more amazing boyfriend what would be by her side through all of the struggles. She shot a quick text back to her mom thanking her, just as Asher came around the corner with 2 plates of breakfast, placing one in front of Y/N. She noticed that her plate had a tad less food on it than his, which didn’t cause her much anxiety given the fact that she didn’t finish all of her food the previous night. He sat next to her on the bed and watched in awe as his girlfriend was eating, free of any nervous expression and looking like she was actually enjoying the food. He stayed quiet and let her enjoy her meal in peace before he spoke up.

“So your dad called me … you know that this means you’re going to have to call your therapist and start seeing him on a regular basis again right?” Asher said as his girlfriend took a sharp breath in. Demon #3: speaking to a therapist for the first time and admitting what you had was a depressive breakdown. She knew that this was coming, she just didn’t realize it would be so soon; Asher picked up on her body language and gently kissed her cheek while moving her chin with his finger so that she was facing him.

“You know that I’m here baby, you don’t need to go through this alone. I promise I will be here for you to make sure you take that little pill every day … hell I’ll even drive you to all of your appointments if I have to. Whatever it will take to help you get through this,” he said in a soothing tone. Y/N had to admit that he was taking this much better than she thought he was going to, and she kept hoping that he was going to genuinely keep his word to her about being there through all of this.

“I’m going to call them on Monday and make the appointment,” she replied in a low voice, resulting in a grin being plastered on his face. Asher slowly closed the gap between the two of them, bringing his lips to hers and caressing her cheek with one hand, while the other snaked around her waist, pulling her in closer. He couldn’t help but fall in love with her even more each time she found a new demon to battle and knowing that with all the love and support she was receiving from her family she was more than capable of beating them.

“Y/N, if you ever feel like you don’t trust yourself to be alone please call me. I don’t care if it’s 3am on a school night, if you don’t feel safe being alone I will come and get you, or I’ll stay on the phone with you as long as you need to me. I’ve said it 100 times and I’ll say it again, I love you so much it hurts, and I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Asher replied giving her a kiss on the forehead and holding her close. It still absolutely broke his heart that she had been going through this for weeks without anyone knowing and she was still too scared to tell her own family that she self-harmed; but he made her a promise and he fully intended on keeping it.

Throughout the day, Y/N’s mood seemed to improved little by little, although it wasn’t exactly where Asher wanted it to be, he was still thankful that Y/N was trying her best. The couple had just decided to lounge around Asher’s place, listening to slow music and enjoying each other’s company while Y/N opened up to her boyfriend a little bit more about what had been going on with the depression. He was extremely proud of her for finally opening up to him about her situation and he was grateful that she trusted him enough to come to him so he could support her. The couple was currently dancing around his kitchen, being natural and goofy like they always were.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I invited JJ, Spencer and Jordan over to hang out with us for a little bit later on tonight … if you don’t want them coming I can tell them not to,” Asher mentioned while he and Y/N were cooking dinner. Demon #4: returning to socialization with your friends after you have a depressive breakdown. Although this made Y/N nervous, she knew that it was something that had to be done in order to get her back on the right track with her mental health; she nodded her head and pulled her boyfriend in for a loving kiss, when they head the doorbell ring.

“Speak of the devils,” Y/N joked with a smile. Asher reciprocated the smile as he went to the door to greet his 3 best friends. Obviously JJ pulled her in for a friendly hug and made some kind of joke about how he feels like he hasn’t seen her in a while, not knowing the real reason; mind you, Y/N wasn’t ready for anyone else except for her family and Asher to know what was happening. The boys had skipped along into the kitchen and sat down, however, Jordan stayed behind and had a proud look on his face.

“I’m glad this happened Y/N. I’m proud of you for being honest with Asher about what was going on and you know we’re all going to be here with you when you battle this disease again … no matter how many times your depression comes back, we’re here for you,” Jordan said in a small voice so no one else would hear their conversation. She gave her brother a hug, muttering a quick ‘thank you’ and letting a couple of tears fall from her eyes. She gave him a smile as she pulled away and quickly wiped away her tears, taking a deep breath, and joining the boys at the table outside.

As Y/N laughed at one of the lousy jokes JJ made, Asher couldn’t take his eyes off her and was genuinely happy to see her laughing and having a good time, even though he knew that this boost in energy and confidence wouldn’t last all that long; he was just happy that in that moment, she was truly enjoying herself. He knew that helping her battle her depression was going to be an uphill battle and he knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he was planning on sticking to his word and staying by her side through this fight. He knew that his life wouldn’t be the same without her and all he wanted was for her to be better so they could move on to the next chapter of their lives together. All he wanted to do was help her beat this because he loved her, and he would do anything to prove to her that he was here to stay, no matter what it took.

[nony-bear]

A Perfect Ending To A Terrible Day - Johnny Storm (blurb)

This blog and ALL posts are for people 18 + ONLY.

Gif By: @forchrisevans // Dividers Found Here

Parings: Johnny Storm X Reader

Warnings: Anxiety / Depression, problems at work, kissing. (Not much, this is mostly fluff.)

Word Count: 1026

Summary: After a terrible day at work, johnny comes over to cheer you up.

A/N: Hi everyone! I was super excited when I got this request, but I’ve never written for Johnny before, so I hope it’s okay! I know it was kind of short, but I felt like since it was my first time writing for him, a little blurb or drabble would be best! Anyways it would be awesome if you guys could let me know what you think! My inbox is always open and has anonymous mode available, so please feel free to drop in anytime about literally anything (even requests!) I’d love to hear from you all! And thank you all for the mass amount of support I received on my oneshot! I am still so shocked at how well it did, and I appreciate all of you so much!

Your body feels like dead weight as you slump down onto your bed. Before your face even hits the pillows, you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. Today was the worst day you’ve had in a really long time.

It wasn’t like you weren’t good at your job, but it was just one of those days where you felt like you couldn’t do anything right. No matter how hard you tried, everything seemed to fall apart. Not to mention your boss and his aggressive lecture about your performance, that alone, even on a good day, would have been enough to work you up. Pulling the blanket up over your head, you cry out all the feelings that you had been pushing down until you finally got home.  

Suddenly you hear the instrumental tune of Nelly’s “It’s Getting Hot In Here” coming from your cell phone that you had haphazardly tossed on the bedside table next to you. There’s only one person that could be on the other end of the line, the same person who programmed the ringtone himself. Reluctantly you peek your head out of your cocoon and grab your phone.

“Hey, baby! Look, I just got done at the lab with Reid. How bout I pick you up in fifteen minutes and take your cute butt out tonight?” Johnny says, sounding as energetic and happy as ever, something you usually adored about your boyfriend, but right now was making your head hurt.

“Johnny…” You manage to choke out but the rest of the words failing you.

“What’s wrong?” Johnny interjects quickly, his voice now laced with concern.

Sniffling, you try to pull yourself together enough to answer him. “Jus’ had a really bad day.”

Johnny’s heart aches at his girl’s voice sounding so broken. “I’m coming over.”

“Oh Johnny, no, you don’t have to.” You try to stop him, beginning to feel guilty. As much as you want to see him, you don’t want to bring him down with you.

“15 minutes, and I’m there.” He says, ignoring your comment and hanging up the phone.

You don’t even bother moving out of bed since Johnny has a key to your apartment. Just a month ago, you both had given the other the keys to your apartments. It was a big step for you both, but especially for Johnny. He had never been in such a serious relationship; after all, the human torch was previously named playboy of the year… three years in a row. But all that changed when he met you. Of course, he’s still Johnny, sarcastic and charming but the overly flirtatious and irresponsible parts of his old personality were to no use of him now. Not when he’s found someone he cares for more than he ever thought possible.  

You hear the keys jingling and the front door opening as Johnny enters your apartment. “It’s me!” He calls you, but you don’t bother answering. “Babe?” He calls out again as he slips his shoes off at the door and makes his way to your bedroom.

“Hi.” You mutter out when his slim body appears in the door frame.

“Hey...” He says with a soft smile before coming over to sit on the edge of the bed closest to you. He starts soothingly rubbing his hand up and down your leg as he speaks up. “What happened, baby?”

You can’t seem to get yourself to look at him, almost embarrassed of your emotions. “Work stuff, I just-...” You stop taking a deep but shaky breath. “... couldn’t do anything right today.”  

“No, no, no, don’t say that.” Johnny coos moving his hand from your leg to cup your face. He makes you look at him finally, and you wish you would have before because somehow, just his eyes on yours makes your heart feel a little lighter. And even with his eyebrows pinched up in worry and lips in a slight frown, he looks as handsome as ever. “We all have bad days baby, don’t be so hard on yourself. Not on my perfect girl.”

Your eyes well up again, but only this time it is for Johnny’s sweet words. “You’re too good to me, Johnny; I’m sorry I ruined the fun night you wanted to have.” You know Johnny loves you and would do anything for you. But, in times like these, where your emotions are already running high, thoughts of insecurity shuffle their way back into your mind. You imagine what he’d be doing right now if it were for you; he’d probably already be at some extreme sporting thing or even a bar, being the life of the party. But instead, here he is with you, sitting in the dark of your bedroom, trying to console you.

“Hey, where’s all this that coming from, baby? First, you talk shit about my girlfriend, and now you say I’m too good for her?” He says, not being able to hide his teasing grin. “I’ll let you know, I happen to lot her and that she’s the one that’s too good for me. Putting up with all my crazy shit, especially in the beginning, wow, was I a piece of work or what?” Through the tears, you can’t help yourself to start smiling too. “She’s a saint, I swear. But nonetheless, I would gladly choose to be with her anywhere than somewhere without her any day.”  

“You know your job was supposed to be to help me stop crying, right?” You manage a chuckle, the heavyweight of sadness starting to lift off of you little by little.

Johnny chuckles before reaching his hands out for you to take so that you can pull yourself to sit up. “Well, what can I say? I’m not a therapist for a reason.” He says before kissing you softly.

You kiss him back with a small smile. “Well, that’s fine by me. I love you just the way you are.” You assure him, using your hand to run through his short hair.

“I love you too, baby.” He says before kissing you again. “How does take out and movies on the couch sound?”

“Perfect.”

Taglist: @brattycherub​ // @cloudystevie // @doozywoozy // @patzammit // @selfcarecap // @steebsbabygirl​ // @worksby-d​

If you would like to be a part of my taglist for future writing, let me know! (If you would like to be tagged for only certain characters and/or only specific types of writing (like only fluff or only smut), I can do that too!)

[yniswaifu]

The bet - 6

They lost.

You never intended to go to their game, but you did. And they lost the second match, against a team called karasuno from the miyagi prefecture.

You couldn't deny the opponent team was impeccable in their game, and the win was well deserved. But you also couldn't deny the fallen faces of your school team. You couldn't deny the sorrow on Kita's face, even if he didn't give away anything.

You couldn't deny your own heart breaking.

You weren't into sports. Sure, you listened patiently to Atsumu and Ginjima's rant about their sport, or Osamu when he was truly excited about it. But you were never a fanatic.

Though right now you felt the loss deep in you as the others did, and the Inarizaki side of the stadium went completely quiet.

Inarizaki volleyball team lost in the second round of the tournament.

You don't know what is supposed to happen after this, specially for the third years, but you did know you had to be there for the boys.

Specially your boy.

You chewed on your thumbnail as you waited in anticipation for the team near their assigned room. None of the boys knew you had come for the second match, and you didn't intend to tell them either. It was a surprise. But now you think it was the better, that you were here.

You see the team approaching and stand straight. One by one you see them looking in your direction, Kita and Aran being the first. They give you a small smile, and you return one yourself. Aran's eyes were wet, so you knew he had been crying. Not just him, but others too, including Ginjima. He spots you and squeezes his eyes shut to stop the tears.

"it's okay. Shh..." you whisper in his ears as you hug him. You didn't have any sibling, and Ginjima was the closest you had to one.

Suna appeared behind him but even though he didn't cry, he looked upset. Squeezing his bicep you give him a small smile. He just nods in your direction.

"I didn't think you'd come." he asks.

You shrug. "I wanted to support my school."

Suna scoffs at your words. "sure."

You didn't say anything about his tone. He looked pissed. Not at the team, but at himself. And you knew someone like Suna needed some space to gather his thoughts.

At last, you spot the twins. Both their eyes widen at you, not expecting you to be there. Osamu's eyebrows scrunched in a frown whereas Atsumu looked sad. You had never seen Atsumu as silent as he was now. You didn't know what to say to them. The loss must have taken a heavy toll on them.

You were busy trying to think what could you say when your eyes connected to the person beside Atsumu. He was resisting something, his pupils wavering elsewhere but you. It was almost as if, he was controlling himself. Yeah, you did smile at him, wished him the best before he went for the games, but that still didn't mean you guys were okay.

You knew it wasn't the time for that. Screw it. Your man needed you and you were going to be there for him.

Walking up to them slowly, you turned to Atsumu and said, "I'm sorry." your voice was soft. You knew saying things like 'good game' or 'you played well' wasn't going to make them feel better. So you just went with being honest. You really were sorry. Sorry for the fact that even after giving their all – they lost.

Atsumu, like Suna, just nods in your direction before entering the assigned room. He knew Osamu and you needed some space, and that Osamu needed you.

As soon as the corridor was empty of people, you look at Osamu.

"Osam–"

"can I hug you?"

His voice was monotonous. There wasn't any emotion in it, but you were aware that those emotions were crashing at the seams in him. So you just nod.

Immediately Osamu wraps his arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You didn't care if he was sweaty and smelled, you wanted to comfort him.

Your arms go around his neck, and you caress his nape with one hand while the other just holds him.

After remaining in that position for a while, Osamu suddenly says, his voice muffled. "we lost."

You stay quiet, nodding slightly.

"I...I don't feel good. I think I didn't give my best."

"no, that's not true. You did give your best." you hug him a bit tighter.

He sighs shakily, blowing air on your shoulders. You could feel a wet patch form on your clothes in that area.

"then why did we lose y/n?" he asks you.

"because the other team were a tad better."

You couldn't lie. You knew Osamu would rather hear the truth than sugar-coated words from you.

He stays quiet at your reply, and just hugged you. After a while he says, "I wanted to play with Kita san and others a bit more."

His voice trembled slightly. Because he had cushioned his face completely on your shoulder, it wasn't very clear, but you understood he was crying.

Slowly parting from him, you cup Osamu's face and wipe the tears with the pad of your thumb. His eyes were downcast and light sniffles escaped him, when you rested your forehead on his.

"Kita san also said the journey is more important than the end result. I bet he loved the journey as much as you did. And he too wanted to play with you guys more. But fate has other plans, and as much as I want to change it for you, I can't. What we can do from this point onwards is strive to be better and cherish the good memories you made with others. "

Osamu listened to you quietly. He didn't react when you finished your speech. He just pulled you closer by your waist and whispered. "I love you."

A soft chuckle escaped your lips. You have heard those words before, but every single time it created a dip in your stomach. Something people like to call 'butterflies'.

"I know. I love you too."

"don't leave me? Please?"

Man, he was going to make you cry. The tender tone he used, the soft circles he created on your waist, the way he looked at you – you missed this.

moving his gray bangs to the side, you tip toed and placed a kiss on your boyfriend's forehead. "never."

For a second you stared in his eyes. You had the biggest misconception that Osamu wasn't as affected by the separation as you were, and that you weren't breaking him by avoiding him. Now that you see his eyes full of love and yearning for you, the same thing that he had held for as long as you guys have been together, never diminishing, you wanted to kick yourself for being an asshole to this bean.

Osamu closed the distance between you two and pressed his lips on yours. Without thinking twice about your surrounding, or that the team could witness this at any moment, you kiss him back. All those days of loneliness without the other person made you feel hollow, and it was now being mended through this kiss.

You could say it was the best kiss you guys shared.

Osamu held you closer, trying to get you to go further with the kiss. His tongue prodded your lips, but you couldn't. Not in public at least.

So you break the kiss, panting. "we can't."

Osamu pouts a little, but understands why you can't. So he just gives you a sulking look before sighing. "but we're seeing each other after so long."

Your eyes go wide. What exactly is this boy suggesting?

"still. Not here." you reply.

At that he smirks. "are you saying we can continue when we're alone?"

Your cheeks heat up at the suggestion. Yes, maybe you were hinting at continuing the make out session kiss. But you weren't going to admit that.

Rolling your eyes, you push Osamu towards the room where others were. "I'll see you on Sunday." you tell him and start to walk when a grip on your wrist brings you against a hard body.

Osamu places a kiss on your cheeks. "it's a date." he says in your ears and you try not to smile like a fool.

"sure." you act nonchalant but start laughing because you couldn't control yourself. You were excited.

Waving him goodbye, you walk towards the exit. You couldn't wait for Sunday to come sooner.

***

It was a Sunday. Atsumu didn't even know how or when he came here, but did. He did come to the store where f/n worked and now that he has come to his sense, he is regretting everything. But he still couldn't look away from her and his feet are still glued to the ground where he stood.

She was checking the aisles, Atsumu sees. Gosh, how much he missed her. How much he wanted to hold her. How much he wanted to grovel on his knees and beg for forgiveness. Anything, anything for her to look in his direction.

He contemplates whether he should enter the store or not when f/n sees him. He was in casual clothes, and boy did he look good. He looked in everything. F/n was really surprised at first, at this fact –

Atsumu Miya looked good in everything.

She knew Inarizaki had lost in the second round from the social media, and as much as she wanted to drop everything and go to console Atsumu, she didn't. She had to control herself. For her, unless Atsumu personally doesn't apologize, she wouldn't even look in his direction.

But how could she not when the blonde stood like a lost puppy in front of the store.

He was looking at her from under his lashes, eyebrows crinkled in a frown. It wasn't the angry frown, more like a helpless one. Because he was helpless.

Keeping the basket of supplies on the floor, f/n gets up from her crouched position. She slowly walks up to the entryway and the automated sliding doors open, giving her access to go outside. It was a bright morning, a contrast to the gloomy atmosphere around these two.

Atsumu didn't have to think twice. He wanted f/n back. And he was ready to beg her for that.

F/n's eyes widen when she sees him slowly kneeling on the ground. Her first instincts was to stop him and just hug him, soothe his pain. But she didn't.

Her hands curl in a fist as Atsumu started his apology. "I'm sorry." his voice was soft and shaky. "I...I'm sorry for everything."

Atsumu didn't know what else to add. Indeed, he was sorry for everything. The list was long, including what he did from the time he approached f/n during the lunch break four months back, till the time she broke up with him.

"I didn't love you when I approached you. It was a dare I had with my friends, and it was supposed to be for fun. It wasn't real for me."

Tears were already blurring f/n's eyes. His words triggered everything.

"but. At one point, it did start becoming real. And it became so real that I don't think I can live without you." Atsumu confesses at last, looking up at you with his own share of tears falling. "I love you f/n. I really do."

The sincerity in his voice was enough to make f/n break into loud sobs. She kept wiping her tears, but she couldn't stop them from falling. Not when she felt the same.

"how can I trust you? Tell me sumu, just how?" she says between sniffles, despite how she felt. Emotional investment was a real deal and she didn't want to repeat the mistake of falling deep without security, twice.

Atsumu, desperate, gets up and tries to reach for her but she takes a step back. "please..." his voice but a whisper. "I will prove to you all my life if that's what it takes, how genuine my feelings for you are. But please...don't go..."

F/n doesn't know what to do. His plead, his desperation, they were so transparent that even a stranger could tell he was telling the truth.

But...but...

Breathing through her nose to calm herself, she looks straight in his eyes. They looked like crystallized caramel, a colour so beautiful. They were looking at her with love, and what could be interpreted as fear of losing her.

Maybe she didn't have it in her to stay strong. She is crumbling. Crumbling under Atsumu's gaze. What she wouldn't give to just hug him right now.

But wait. Life's not that simple innit?

"okay." she finally says.

Atsumu's eyes widen. "what...?"

"prove it to me. Your feelings."

He couldn't believe his ears. He was almost sure she will reject him and kick him out of her life for good. He certainly didn't expect a second chance.

Wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie, he risks a step towards f/n. This time she didn't move from her spot. Taking that as a confirmation to get closer, he closes the gap and stands right in front of her.

"I want to hold your hands."

Being almost a head taller than her, f/n had to look up at the blonde boy. He had a small smile and twinkle in his eyes, almost like a kid. It was adorable.

Nodding shyly, she looks away to hide the blush creeping up her neck. Atsumu holds her fingers, as gently like a piece of china dish, and moves his hands further to fully clasp her hands with his.

He lifts them up, bringing them close to his lips when f/n finches, making him stop.

He looks at her frowning and immediately backtracks from what he was about to do. Right, he has to prove himself first.

Being the gentleman or not he is, he peeks at her with hooded eyes and asks, "may I kiss your hands ma'am?"

There was a slight hint of sarcasm in his words, a trait of Atsumu she didn't like initially but came to find it amusing overtime. They weren't filled with malice, just playfulness. At least around people he cherished. And her mouth slightly twitched at what he said.

Again, f/n just nodded, giving him consent. Smirking, Atsumu dipped his head to place two soft kisses on each of her hands before placing them back by her side. This was the most gentle he had ever been and it was shocking because he was actually trying his best from the start.

Well. He got a lifetime to prove himself. A lifetime of loving each other better, with a better start.

F/n couldn't stop herself from smiling, and Atsumu mirrored her.

This time, he was going to make it right. It's a bet.

What? Did I just finish the series?

I can't believe it's over. It was short, it was sad, it was sweet. It isn't perfect, but it's close to my heart. Because this is the first full fanfiction with a proper storyline and i–

I feel content. Content with the ending. If I'm being honest, Suna was my favourite in the whole story. He's just...wow.

Thank you everyone who read this story and supported me. Every like, comment and reblog means a lot.

I hope I return with better stories to tell about our Haikyuu boys. Till then, stay tuned.

[demivampirew]

Say no to this.

Henry x Reader (wife) x Reader (the other woman)

Triggers: Angst; cheating, breakup, divorce (and crying).

A/N: This was inspired by two songs from the musical Hamilton: Say No to This and Burn, and it’s told from the perspective of the characters (Henry, Reader (Wife), Reader (the other woman)

You can find more of my writings in the Masterlist 

Having the chance to portray one of his favourite characters is an honour for which Henry will forever be thankful. Yet, he must admit that having to spend time apart from his family was not an easy task. 

He sat on the bed in the dark hotel room, only enlightened by the moonlight. On his phone screen, he saw the picture you’ve sent him earlier that day of you and your daughter playing, you dressed as a princess and the six-year-old as a dragon. “Oh, your mighty witcher, come and save me, please,” read the message under the picture. Henry missed dressing up in costumes and running around the house with his little angel, who would laugh uncontrollably every time he caught and started to tickle her.

It’s been over two months since he left for work; 60 plus days without feeling the lovely touch of your hands on his face, too much time without feeling the warmness of your body against his.

He laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling for an hour, unable to sleep when his phone announced that he had a new message.

“Are you awake? I can’t sleep,” y/n wrote. She was a friend he made on the set of the show - she worked as a personal assistant for one of the recurrent directors of the show and she was staying at the same hotel that Henry. “Yes. Can’t sleep either. Come if you want,” he replied, thinking that some company would help him to feel less lonely.

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door. Henry opened the door and invited y/n to come in. Once inside, she faced him and smiled as she showed him the content of her bag: a PS and The Witcher 3 game. “I know you’re more into pc, but l don’t have a gaming pc here, so we will have to play with this, okay,” she said grinning.

“I remember you saying that you were good at this,” y/n while rolling her eyes, teasing him. “I am, but in the pc,” Henry defended himself with a playful smile.

They played the game for two hours before she suggested that it might be time for her to leave. Henry tried to disconnect the console from the tv but she told him to keep it, for now, so he could keep practising.

“Well, good night. I hope you can have a good sleep and tomorrow enjoy your free day,” y/n told him. “Same for you,” he said goodbye, but neither of them moved. They stared at each other for a long minute in silence. Henry’s hands reached for her face bringing it closer to his, culminating in a passionate kiss, while her arms embraced him.

Her naked body, covered only by the bed-sheets rested on the mattress as she slept. Henry looked at her for a moment and then walked towards the bathroom. He washed his face on the sink and then stared at the mirror, finding it hard to recognize the person that was reflected in the mirror. “I promise you that I will be forever faithful to you, my love” he once promised you, his lovely wife, and now the words echoed inside his mind, as stabs on his heart.

How could had he broken the promise he made you? Did he not loved you any more? No, that was sure of that, he loved you more than he had ever done. You no only made him happy and supported him through tough times, but you also gave him the thing that he treasured the most in the world: his daughter. But, he had to be honest with himself, for the first time in a long time and admit that things were not as they used to be. Before the birth of the little girl, you used to be inseparable. You would go with him everywhere in the world, game and laugh and made love every second you could. Now, you were parents; your lives centred on the precious angel and work and were often too tired and since the kid would like to sleep with you, often lacked intimacy.

The worst part of all: he wished that he could say that it was a one time mistake, but it became an affair that lasted for months.

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You hated yourself. In the past, you’d constantly criticized “the other woman” for being malicious women who stole men from others. Now you had become one of them. Well, no completely. Sure, you were carrying an affair with a married man, but you weren’t a fool, you knew that you would never be able to “stole” anyone and he would never leave his wife for you; he never made such a promise and you knew him well enough to know that he loved his family more than anything in the world and he was being vulnerable due to the distance between his true woman and him. Were you a bad woman for being with a taken man knowing that he was in such a delicate emotional position? Maybe, but to be completely honest, so were you. Months before you met Henry, your fiancé cancelled the wedding because he had fallen in love with somebody else. You were feeling lonely and undesired and you had developed a crush on him before that first night. So, you didn’t find the strength to fight the desire and succumb to the temptation.

Every night you’ve spent together, with his strong arms embracing you as his lips caressed your body, felt amazing no matter how wrong it was. And, even if your heart ripped every time you remembered that he wasn’t truly yours - and you were reminded of that constantly, since there was no a single time in which he hadn’t unconsciously said his wife’s name as he reached climax, you couldn’t find it in you to put it a stop.

You knew that this would have a bad end. No matter the outcome, someone would get hurt. 

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That day, your sister offered to take care of your six-year-old so you could have some time to yourself to process things.

Desperate to get some distance and to be alone, you rented a small cabin outside the city.

The sun was coming down when you lifted a bonfire outside the place and sat in front of it with a box that you’ve carried there moments before.

Your fingers caressed every picture - of your first date, your first anniversary as girlfriend and boyfriend; vacations, birthdays and even your wedding. Every photo would get wet with your tears before you threw them into the fire. All objects that reminded of the love you once shared, ended up becoming ashes. Letters, poems, teddy bears, roses that you dried; everything. The only surviving things were the pictures you shared with your daughter, but you would make sure to send them to his mother because you didn’t want to see them any more, the pain was too great.

Finally, you took from your pocket the pictures you printed before to look at them for one last time. They were screenshots from a celebrity news website and the headline read “The Witcher star Henry Cavill is seen kissing a mystery woman”, followed by paparazzi photos of him with someone on the balcony of his hotel room. Angrily, you crashed the prints and let them burn into they became nothing.

With nothing more to do, you watched the flames, as you let your tears fall, feeling completely and utterly broken.

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The production was over. After the news crashed, Henry had to continue filming, pretending that nothing happened, while some people looked at him as if he was a monster. Could he blame them for that?

When the article about his affair was published, his brother Charlie was the one who delivered the bad news - his stepdaughter had seen it and told him about it.

He didn’t know what to do. He called his wife over and over, but she never answered. All-day long he tried to communicate with his love, but every time without luck.

 Y/N tried to call him, too, but this time he was the one who ignored the call. He had nothing against her. Henry knew that she could no be blamed for his mistake, but he couldn’t talk to her right now. His wife was his priority.

Unfortunately, the only response he got from her was from her sister, two days later, letting him know that she was going to file for a divorce and she never wanted to see him or talk to him again. That she would only allow him to contact her, through her or another family member and elusively for things related to their daughter. She was going to share custody with him, but he would have to pick up and leave the girl on her sister or parent’s house.

Now, months later, he driving to his sister-in-law’s house to pick up his daughter and to leave the divorce papers that he had to sing.

There were no words to explain how much it hurt him to lose the woman he loved deeply. The only consolation was that his family continued to show him love and support as they always did. And, his daughter, unaware of the reason why her mommy and daddy decided to go separate ways, still love him enormously and would fill him with joy every minute of every day that he had her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was obvious that there was no going to be a good end to the affair - it never does. You knew someone would get hurt, but you’d never imagined that it would be all three of you.

Terrible didn’t even begin to explain how bad you felt. Of all the three of you, you were the one who got it the “best”, since luckily the pictures only showed your hair in a bun and your back, so only a few close people knew that it was you and they were polite enough to keep the secret to avoid you getting harassed. Although, just in case, you dried your hair and got a new haircut.

Henry’s wife filed for the divorce after she found out about the affair. He let you know via text when he put an end to things and told you he could no longer see you. Even if there was no chance to get back with her, he couldn’t be with you because he loved her too much and you reminded him of the mistake he made. As he suggested, you continued working for a few more weeks there to avoid people finding out that it was you, but later quit.

That was by far the worst mistake that you’ve ever made. So much people got hurt; a girl now has two parents that can’t be in the same room, two people who loved each other who can’t be together because the ghost of you would always be present to remind them of the mistake and a person who’s affection was never truly corresponded and caused the break of a family.

Therapy has been truly beneficial in helping you heal and leaving the past in the past.

Today a new article about Henry was posted online. It consisted of pictures of him and his cute girl buying a Christmas tree and he was laughing at his daughter's funny faces.

[rosyfingereddawnn]

That’s The Way (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Jimmy Page x Reader

Word count: 3.7k

Warning(s): smut/nsfw, cheating, cursing, angst, Y/N being a badass :)

Author’s notes: We’ll be honest...this chapter is a lot to handle 😂 which is amazing since it’s only Chapter 3 of many! We suggest taking a break throughout, because you’re gonna need it 😂 So much happens that your mind may actually explode from the drama. By the way, Jimmy is introduced in the next chapter so yay! As usual, please enjoy, happy reading, and send us messages if you have theories, comments, music recommendations for the playlist, or if you want to be added to the tag list :)

Chapters: 1 | 2

————

Paul took Y/N out to dinner that week, and they had a wonderful time together. It seemed that every conversation they had together brought them closer and closer, and Y/N was in pure bliss. From that point forward, the two became inseparable.

Y/N’s parents, however, were not super pleased that Y/N was seeing Paul, especially because they had warned her about the romantically-unattached musician’s mannerisms and habits not that long ago. They just decided to act like they liked Paul, so he wouldn’t get suspicious or feel bad.

Two members of The Yardbirds in particular (and I’m sure, dear reader, that you know who they are by now) were hit with pangs of jealousy whenever they saw Y/N constantly attached to Paul’s arm. And, to make matters worse, it was under any circumstance imaginable: parties, interviews, photoshoots, meetings, airports, train stations, hotels...the list goes on. Yes, they did spend plenty of time apart, but attraction can make a man think irrationally. Even though they were specifically and strictly told to keep their mouths shut, it was very tempting to just say the truth and end their misery. A part of Chris and Jim felt happy to see her happy, but another, traitorous side of them felt exponentially bad for her. They knew that she was being used by Paul as arm-candy, and they knew that she, of all people, did not deserve that.

But that’s the name of the game, unfortunately.

~~~~~~~~

18 February 1966

The Yardbirds were scheduled to perform on an episode of Ready, Steady, Go! that night, and Y/N decided to go and be a part of the live audience. She felt an obligation to support Paul and the band, since they were all friends (and a boyfriend, of course) now.

Before the show, Jim, Jeff, and Keith were all sitting on the stage, discussing the logistics of the rehearsals that would start soon. Y/N stood in front of the already-prepared stage and chatted with them.

“So what are you guys going to do on our days off next week?” Jeff asked.

“Spend time with my family,” Keith replied, adjusting his sunglasses.

“Not sure yet, haven’t figured it out,” Jim added.

“How ‘bout you, Miss Y/N?” Jeff nodded towards her with a smile. She answered with a soft giggle.

“I’m probably going golfing with my brother and a couple mates.”

“You golf?” Jim asked. She seemed to be getting more and more perfect by the day.

“Mmhmm,” Y/N nodded enthusiastically, “I’m bloody awful at it, but it’s fun, and I can hang out with my brother, so it’s a win-win.”

“You never told us you had siblings,” Keith smirked, tilting to the side and crossing his arms.

“Oh yeah, I have three. There’s Tommy, my older brother; Charlie, my younger brother; and Lillian, my little sister,” Y/N said.

“Wow, full house,” Jeff remarked, “I have a sister, Annetta, who I think you’d get along with quite well. I’ll have to introduce you to her soon.”

“Oh, that’d be great! I’d love to meet another Beck,” Y/N replied playfully. Jeff just laughed and shook his head.

“It’s a shame that I can’t spend time with Paul this week. He said he was busy, but he didn’t explain why,” Y/N sighed, “whatever. It’s probably legitimate, so I don’t mind. We’ve been hanging out too much anyway.” She laughed at the last part.

“He’s probably just going home to his wife,” Jim replied, thoughtlessly.

At that instant, everyone’s eyes widened, eyebrows raised, and lips downturned into a shocked, panicked frown.

“He’s...what?” Y/N asked quietly, sounding like she was about to shatter into a thousand tiny pieces.

Y/N noticed that Keith and Jeff were glaring at Jim, who was clearly embarrassed at what he had revealed. He hid his eyes with his hand.

When Jeff finally found it in him to turn away from Jim, he deeply exhaled. He then reached out his hands to touch Y/N’s shoulders in an attempt to comfort her.

“Look, Y/N, you weren’t supposed to find out this way, and I’m so sorry we didn’t tell you sooner,” Jeff began, “but he is indeed married. I honestly don’t know why he wanted to pursue you, and I warned him against it because of how much we care about you, but he did it anyway.”

Tears streamed down Y/N’s face and her bottom lip started to quiver. “I can’t believe this,” she whispered, “he made it seem like I was the only one…that he was really in love with me...”

Jeff hated seeing his friend cry because of something he could have prevented. But, Y/N was somehow still beautiful when she cried.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Jeff consoled gently, getting off the stage to hug her, “here, let’s take you backstage to calm you down a little.”

Y/N refused Jeff’s kind offer with a shake of the head. Through her blurry, teary-eyed vision, she just plastered on a smile, and wiped the wetness from her eyes.

“Ew,” her voice cracked, “why am I crying? That’s so gross of me, I’m so sorry. I’m definitely making you guys uncomfortable.”

The three musicians’ eyes widened at Y/N’s sudden burst of emotional strength.

“Y/N, you just found out you were Sam’s side chick, and you don’t care?” Jeff inquired, genuinely confused as to what was going on with Y/N’s emotions.

“It’s okay to be sad, love. And utterly fuming with anger. I must admit, this situation wouldn’t be as dire if it were someone else, but it’s you,” Keith added. Jim just sat in silence. He didn’t know what to say. His message destroyed Y/N’s heart and her innocence.

“I am sad, but if this ‘thing’ went on any longer, I’d probably be even more devastated. You saved me from a lot more unnecessary heartbreak, so thank you, Jim,” Y/N said. Her tone sounded completely numb.

“How are you gonna tell Sam?” Keith asked Y/N.

She exhaled deeply. “I don’t know. It wouldn’t be fair of me to lash out on him before being on national television.”

“How can you care about fairness? Don’t you realize what this man has done to you?” Jeff asked, anger interlaced in his voice.

“Yes, Jeff. I do,” Y/N replied stoically, “And I’ll be fine, really. Let’s just forget about it, okay? I’m just lucky to be here, watching you perform. What song are you playing again?” Y/N tried to change the subject, but on the inside she was in deep agony and pain. She poured all of this time and emotion and her body into this cute musician boy, just to realize she didn’t matter.

“‘Shapes of Thi—’” Keith began quietly.

Jeff cut him off. “Y/N, I seriously refuse to believe you’re okay. Please, just let me help y—” he started.

“Jeff! I’m fine! Seriously,” Y/N raised her voice a little, annoyed at the nagging.

“But you seem—” Jim began, barely perceptible.

“Oh my God, Jim, I’m fine!” Y/N shouted. “I don’t care. It’s done, it’s over.”

The three men sat in silence after Y/N’s sudden outburst of anger, which was very out of character for her. She quickly realized what she had done.

“I’m so sorry for lashing out on you guys. That was uncalled for, it’s not your fault. I’m gonna go to the loo, excuse me,” she said quickly, walking out of the scene before anyone could call after her.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N stayed in the bathroom for all of rehearsals, and she finally reemerged right before the broadcast was about to start, looking as fresh as she did when she got there. It was as if the news was never even brought to her attention.

She refused to make eye contact with Paul through the entire performance, even though it was apparent that he tried to get her attention with his eyes. Chris was just confused that she wouldn’t even dare to glance at Paul. Just a little trouble in paradise that he didn’t know about maybe?

After the show and when the band went offstage, Jeff went back into the crowd to check on Y/N and brought her backstage.

“You have to confront him,” Jeff pleaded.

“I don’t want to,” Y/N whined.

“You have to, or else he’ll bloody win! You don’t want that, and I sure as hell don’t want that for you either! He is the one at fault. You have every right to fuck him up for it.”

Jeff’s little speech gave her an impulsive boost of confidence.

“Fine. I’ll do it. Get everyone out of the room, though,” Y/N stated firmly, beginning to march down the hallway behind Jeff.

Momentarily, Jeff went into the room and rounded up Keith, Jim, and Chris, and filed them down the hallway into another room orderly.

As Y/N was about to enter the room, Jeff whispered in her ear, “Good luck, kid. Knock ‘em dead.” Y/N smiled at Jeff before entering the room and closing the door behind her.

~~~~~~~~

Paul warmly smiled at Y/N as she entered the room.

“Hello, love,” he said gently, “how did you enjoy the show?”

Y/N painted on the most genuine smile she could force. “It was...almost perfect.”

Paul’s eyebrow quirked as he smiled in a confused way. “Why almost?”

“I don’t think rehearsals went as well as I had planned,” Y/N replied smoothly.

“Why? Did something bad happen to you? You’re speaking in riddles, dear.”

“Oh, I apologize,” Y/N snickered, “it’s actually so funny that you bring up riddles, because that seemed to be the exact problem at hand.”

“What does that mean? Did someone tell you something you couldn’t figure out?” Paul chuckled, “You’re confusing me.”

“I figured out that you would be going home to your wife next week.”

All the colour from Paul’s face was drained in a millisecond, and his originally jovial expression was gone. It was as if someone punched him in the gut.

“Who...who told you?” he asked, panicked.

Y/N was taken aback. “I find out I’m your side-chick and you have the audacity to ask who told me? Not an ‘I’m so sorry that I lied to you and broke your heart, Y/N’?”

Paul huffed. “And you expect me to just keep my composure when someone of your gravity walks into the room for the first time? I really am sorry, Y/N, I truly, truly am, but—”

Y/N’s calm and quiet demeanor had left the building at that point. She was mad. Really mad.

“But what? You tell me how in love you are with me, and how I’m your one and only forever, just to realize that I didn’t matter? I’m going to be eighteen years old in March. Eighteen. What do I know about love? Nothing, absolutely nothing. And you chose to take full advantage of my emotional vulnerability.”

“But you did matter. You’re so special to me, Y/N. Don’t you understand that?”

“Don’t you understand that you have a wife? You never loved me. I was never special to you. I was just another fling. But you won’t admit it to yourself.”

“The life of a travelling musician is extremely difficult, Y/N, and you don’t get that,” Paul said severely.

“And that shouldn’t be used as an excuse. You know what? We’re done. Whatever this ‘thing’ is, is over. I wish you the best,” Y/N concluded as she walked out the door and sternly shut it.

The nightmare was over and Y/N was a free agent.

Before she could debrief about her experience with any of the other Yardbirds, Y/N left the venue, caught the first taxi home, ran up into her room, and cried herself to sleep.

~~~~~~~~

22 April 1966

Y/N found recovery time and solace in those two months without Paul. She didn’t go to any Yardbirds gigs, but she sporadically met up with Jeff, Keith, Jim, and Chris at a pub or restaurant to catch up over a meal and drinks. Chris had recently mentioned to her that they were playing in London on the 22nd, and if she felt comfortable, she could attend for free and get backstage to hang out.

Y/N said she’d have to think about it, but she’d definitely consider it.

She had realized over the course of two months that she was not truly in love with Paul. Yes, she fancied him, but she must’ve mistaken the feeling of being genuinely in love with the person for being in love with the situation. Y/N concluded that this relationship was the equivalent of living out one’s childhood dreams of a romance with their schoolgirl crush.

She decided that she was retired from dating for a long time, especially because of how this shitshow ended, but a miniscule piece of her wondered when and how she’d meet her other half.

In the afternoon on the day of the show, which was to be played at the Wimbledon Palais, Y/N made the reckless decision to take a trip down to the Yardbirds’ hotel, but not for the reason you might expect.

Y/N never got the chance to thank Jim McCarty for coming clean about Paul’s infidelity to his wife by “dating” her, and to formally apologize for ripping him at the Ready, Steady, Go! rehearsals. She felt bad for being so dismissive of him, because he was always so nice to her and apparently seemed to care more about her wellbeing than Paul ever did.

Y/N stood on the platform of the train station anxiously, meticulously scheming in her mind about what she would say to Jim to truly and genuinely express her gratitude. She thought about how the encounter would go all the way to London, and all the way on her walk to the hotel.

When she arrived at the hotel, she greeted the concierge, and took the elevator to what she believed to be the Yardbirds’ floor. She took an educated guess as to which room Jim’s would be, just by what she had seen in past times. Y/N took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

When the door opened, she realized that in her best interest, her guess was correct.

“Hi,” she greeted breathily, her fingers interlaced together in front of her timidly.

“Hi,” Jim smiled. After a short moment of awkward silence, he continued, “Um, what are you doing here? Not that it’s a bad thing, which it’s not, but…” he trailed off.

“I just wanted to tell you something that I think needed to be said in-person,” Y/N said quickly.

Jim raised his eyebrows in surprised delight. “Oh, okay.” He moved out of the way of the doorframe so Y/N could enter the room, then shut the door gently behind her. “Welcome to my humble abode,” he chuckled, “make yourself at home.”

Y/N smiled and thanked him graciously, but shyly, as she sat down at a small couch at the edge of the bed. Jim was quick to follow her actions.

Y/N took a deep breath before beginning, “I just wanted to thank you for informing me about Paul in February. I know, it’s been a really long time since then… but I’ve needed some time to myself to think and refocus and recuperate, y’know?”

Jim just laughed. “You came all the way here to thank me? That’s so nice of you. You didn’t need to do that.”

Y/N grinned. “I don’t know, I felt this obligation for some reason. And in addition, I wanted to apologize for lashing out at you as well. I was just shell-shocked, I guess, and I unfairly took it out on you and Jeff.”

“If I forgave you then, I’ll still forgive you now,” Jim smiled, “don’t sweat it. In all honesty, I was surprised at how well you took the news.”

“I just wanted to be as calm and composed as possible,” Y/N blushed, “but obviously I didn’t get very far, did I?” Jim laughed at Y/N’s little jab at herself.

“Well, you’re so quiet, at least you showed a piece of your inner self that night,” Jim teased. Y/N just beamed at him.

“You know, since I owe you, now… I guess I just need to live a little, y’know? I have this introverted shell I need to break out of someday, and I might as well start now,” Y/N offered with a chuckle. “So, with that being said, let me do something for you. Anything you want.”

“Oh no, that’s too much. You didn’t even cause me any grief,” Jim retaliated playfully, “thank you, Y/N, but I think you’re overthinking this whole situation.”

“Please,” she continued with a pleading voice, “I feel awful, and plus, if it makes you feel better, you’ll be helping me clear my conscience. Jim, I’ll do anything you want, no matter how crazy… I’ll take you jet-skiing, I’ll ride on a bike in a bikini when the temperature is below freezing, I’ll clean your kitchen… anything you want me to do, I will do.”

Jim grinned at the bizarre options Y/N gave him before contemplating her invocation for a moment. Anything, huh?

“Kiss me.”

“You said you'd do anything, no matter how crazy, yes?” Y/N didn't get a chance to finish, as Jim interrupted her with a hand at her wrist, and a flinty look in his eyes, that gazed right into hers.

“I did.”

“Well,” Jim continued, stepping ever-closer to the young woman in front of him. She looked just as beautiful as she always had, if not more. Jim was convinced she was perfect, and wanted to protect her. To treat her right, the way she deserved. “You could get on your knees, in front of me.”

Kneeling down on the carpeted floor, Y/N looked up at him through her eyelashes, and the glint in her eyes made his knees weak. She looked almost shy, and he couldn't help but send a comforting smile her way.

“Have you done this before, Y/N?”

She shook her head at this, and looked down, almost embarrassed. Jim, heart pounding in his chest in anticipation, reached out a hand to lift her head. Her eyes held trust, and a hint of nervousness, but her lips quirk up in a smile, her cheeks flushing.

“I’ll walk you through it, love.” The sound of a belt clinking to the floor reached Y/N’s ears, zipper following suit, and she couldn’t help the way she almost thrummed with anticipation. Her parents had warned her against exactly this type of thing. Musicians were, according to her parents, a fickle breed, who only wanted her for her looks and body. It hurt to think of it now, when Jim was being nothing but a gentleman to her. She wanted to break out of her shell, and maybe this was the way to do it.

Y/N looks to Jim and sees him exposed, fully hard now, and her cheeks erupt into shades of rosy pink. He was big, much bigger than she would have expected, and she smiled up at him.

“Okay, love. Open your mouth.” Y/N opened her mouth, sinking it over his tip, which elicits a strained moan, full of pleasure. His hand landed in Y/N’s hair, fingers clenching gently around the tresses. The light tug Y/N felt only spurred her on.

“That’s incredible, princess. Now, try and circle your tongue. You’re doing so well.”

Y/N did as she’s told, and it’s like a spell was put over the man. He craned his head back, neck bared, as soft whimpers fell past his lips. Growing more confident, knowing now what he liked, she let her teeth rake over him lightly, which worked more moans from him, almost breathless in his euphoria.

With a murmured “fuck,” he comes, Y/N’s name the only thing on his lips. She slowly released him from her mouth, wiping her lips with the back of her hand as she stood. Jim, leaning up against the wall, was in bliss, heaving breaths and ruffling Y/N’s hair as she approached.

“That was… you're perfect, princess. Absolutely perfect.”

Y/N laughs, smile nearly splitting her cheeks, and she pressed even closer, pressing her lips to his in a soft, content embrace. She could taste the sweat on his lips, and she couldn't help but think that she could definitely get used to this feeling.

Jim revelled in the feel of her soft lips against his, and he was struck by the thought that this is exactly where he’s supposed to be. He’s where he wants to be, beside Y/N.

————

Taglist: @blood-on-blood @reincarnated70sbaby

[koutarousangel]

━ hometown glory.

prompt : you were incredibly nervous to return home, especially since you knew that he’d returned home too. loosely inspired by this.

genre : angst to fluff

warnings : i mean at this point i can put swearing as a warning every time cause they’re apart of my everyday vocabulary lmao.

music suggestion : hometown glory - adele, happiest year - jaymes young, from the dining table - harry styles.

author’s note : @asdfghjkl7things​​ thank you so much for your support and your request ! i hope you like it !

you and hajime started dating during your third year in high school.

it was a surprise to practically everyone who knew you two, but the both of you had promised each other that you’d keep it on the down low as you were getting to know each other. mostly bc the two of you had friends that never knew how to shut up.

and what you had between you wasn’t really anyone else’s business.

you’d comforted him when they’d lost to karasuno, telling him that it wasn’t his fault and that he’d done all that he could, and you told him that if he wanted to, he could play volleyball again, or do whatever he wanted.

he’d consoled you when you failed the one exam that you needed to pass to go to the university of your dreams and he encouraged you to take the make-up exam, studying with you and making sure you were more than prepared.

you were each other’s rock and you genuinely thought that you were going to last.

until you got into an argument which turned into a full-blown fight bc the two of you were moving away from each other to study your respective courses.

you were scared of long-distance bc you didn’t want to hold iwa back, iwa tried telling you that you could make it work, but as you insisted, he accused you of never really loving him and that you were just finding a way out.

ouch.

four years later, the both of you were college graduates, and something drew you both back to japan.

walking through your hometown felt strange. it was familiar, heartwarming, but at the same time it felt as if you were a tourist, discovering everything for the first time. it had been a while since you’d walked through the streets of miyagi, having gotten used to the streets of london so much that the peace and quiet was almost far too loud. you’d thought about it, staying in london and finding a job there, settling with a brand new life but part of you missed japan so much, your family, your friends … him.

“you know,” your friend looked at you pointedly as she wiped a vegetable piece away from the corner of her mouth, “he’s back in japan, right?” it was almost as if she was fighting a smirk.

a sigh left your lips as you shook your head a little bit, “i know… he posted something on instagram,” the subtle confession that you still followed him on social media came out as a grumble, because you knew that your friend would make it her priority to never let you live it down. which was why you’d never told her that you’d accidentally liked one of his posts.

her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she practically choked on her drink, batting at your upper arm, “you sly fox you, so you do follow him!” you halted her frantic movements by grabbing her wrist.

“i do, which is also how i know that he has a girlfriend,” it was almost comical, how your friend practically deflated at your comment, scowl growing on her face, “it’s been four years, it was bound to happen.”

still, seeing him with his arm around her shoulders made your heart ache and you had angrily swiped away at the tears that spilled down your cheeks, because it was your fault. keeping him back had never been your intention and that’s what you felt you would have done had you remained in a relationship together. all that distance, the drastic time difference, attending separate colleges full of new experiences. you wanted hajime to have the world.

it was almost as if fate was trying to play some sort of cruel trick on you, because as your mind raced with thoughts of your old high school boyfriend, you felt yourself collide with someone and as soon as you heard your name being uttered by the person in question, you swore your heart wanted to jump out of your chest.

“hajime…” his name tumbled out of your mouth in what practically could be constituted as a breathless gasp, as if seeing his face in person after four years had completely winded you.

the man in question took a slight step back, taking a good look at you, almost making sure that you were really in front of him, and not his imagination toying with him. “small world,” was his only comment as he scratched the back of his head, awkwardness settling between you two as you wrapped your arms around yourself, the chill in the air suddenly very prominent.

“would you like to get some-” “i was going to go get some” the both of you spoke at the same time, nervous words overlapping each other. “coffee…” a smile as your shared thoughts fell together in perfect harmony, as if nothing had changed.

you had walked to the coffee shop in silence, questions of why you’d agreed to get coffee with your ex racing through your mind but the reason was simple … you didn’t want to walk away from him, not yet at least. sneaking glances at him while he grabbed your coffees made your heart thump faster than it had in a while, reminiscent of the first time you’d went on a date together.

there was a slight fear that it would be far too awkward to handle, but the two of you fell into a comfortable conversation, telling stories of your college days, how you’d gotten so drunk one time that you ended up stealing a plant and taking it back to your dorm, or how he’d once gotten so hungry during a late study session that he and his friends went to a mcdonalds drive through, even though they didn’t have a car.

you laughed until your face hurt, and you hadn’t realised, but the two of you had instinctively gotten closer to each other, and his arm had ended up wrapped around your chair, you leaned over and shoved him whenever he said something to tease you.

it was as if these four years apart never happened.

as your shared laughter died down and you finished off your drink, iwaizumi looked down at his lap and shook his head slightly, chuckling to himself and making you smile softly, “what?” you questioned, poking his shoulder.

“it’s still you, you know?” he looked up at you, eyes locking with yours as he gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, “the person i see by my side at the end of the day.”

his words hit you like a punch to the gut and you almost forgot how to breathe. you cringed, nose burning as tears tickled the corners of your eyes as you pushed your chair back, standing up and grabbing your belongings, holding them close to your chest as you rushed out of the coffee shop.

you could hear him calling for you, but the blood had rushed to your ears and you were trying your hardest to keep from crying, but as soon as you felt his hand around yours, you spun around and shoved at his chest, once, twice, tears dripping freely onto the pavement, cheeks burning red with anger and sadness, heart that was excitedly jumping around, now quietly sitting in the corner, thumping cautiously as you felt him grab at your hands to stop you from hitting him any further.

“you can’t say that shit hajime! you can’t say it, not after four years of nothing … you didn’t try to fight for me, convince me to stick with you through it all, and you have someone else! how sick can you be? saying that shit to me, stringing that girl along …” the anger wasn’t making you think straight, words spilling out of your mouth without you mulling them over first. 

it was iwaizumi’s turn to get angry at your words, “you broke up with me!” he pushed your hands away from his before pointing an accusatory finger at you, “you broke up,” and he turned his finger shakily at himself, “with me.”

your mouth dropped open and you closed it again, gaping at the air like a fish out of water, hoping the words would come to you, “i wanted what’s best for you,” you managed to whisper, “i wanted for you to be happy.”

“and you came to that decision on your own!” his chest was heaving now, bottom lip trembling as he tried to keep his strong facade, but it was crumbling, “how dare you, decide for me what’s best for me?” his words were only making your chest ache because they were true. you were scared that you were not enough for him, that you’d never be enough for him, “you were what’s best for me, i wanted to share everything with you!” but you were wrong. 

he let out a strangled laugh, “and that girl? she knew it too. i tried going on one date with her, and when i tried going home with her, she pushed me away and told me that i was just kidding myself and setting myself up to get hurt, because my heart was with someone else.”

the two of you were practically in hysterics, wild stares at each other, tears staining your cheeks and some threatening to fall on his own. this was how the argument was supposed to go four years ago, not with you doing everything in your power to walk away. you needed to talk it out, communicate with each other; the only reason it had reached this point, as if you were two people in some kind of romantic movie on the sidewalk professing your love for each other, was because all these emotions had accumulated during the past four years.

after he let out a couple of strangled breaths, iwaizumi’s shoulders slumped, and he raked his hand through his hair, shaking his head and going to sit down on the sidewalk, arms on his knees and head bowed forward.

you watched him for a couple of moments, hand pressed over your mouth as you tried not to sob. the man who’d held your heart so firmly in his hands even if you were continents away had never given up on you. suddenly you didn’t feel so pathetic, but the guilt was eating you alive. you’d never meant to hurt him so, you adored him and you really did want the best for him.

swallowing back the remainder of the tears, you looked up at the sky and sniffled softly, before taking a couple of brave steps forward, kneeling down and wrapping your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” you chanted softly, knowing that no matter how many times you said it, silently praying that he’d accept your apology, even though you didn’t really deserve it.

his hand rested gently on your forearm and he kept his head forward, pressing soft kisses to your wrist and the back of your hand. iwa hesitated for a moment, before he rested his hands on your waist, carefully guiding you to his lap and wrapping his arms around you, rocking you back and forth and shushing you quietly as you continued to sob into his chest. the way he said your name was as soft as a butterfly coming to rest on a fingertip, and he gently guided your face up to look at his.

“i forgive you,” he admitted to you, giving you a small smile, “i’m sorry for yelling, i’m sorry for letting you go ... ” his forehead came to rest against yours, and his eyes were closed. you could feel your heart practically soaring, having him so close again, him accepting your apology. 

your hand came to rest on his face, thumb gently drawing back and forth across his cheek, before leaning forward and leaving a tentative kiss on the side of his mouth, watching as his eyes all but shot open, cheeks burning red under the palm of your hand as he looked into your eyes, “i forgive you too hajime.”

~ three year timeskip. ~

you were anxious. more anxious then you had been ever in your life. 

you’d been with hajime ever since you reconciled now, going through all the motions with settling into your life back in japan, finding a job you both love but still there were struggles. like how hajime worked himself to the bone, hell bent on being the best athletic trainer the national volleyball team had ever seen. you laid blankets on his shoulders when he slept at his desk while he was writing reports or planning injury prevention programs. meanwhile, he carried you to bed whenever you fell asleep on the couch because you couldn’t sleep in an empty bed, or when you were studying for your job and you fell asleep at your own desk.

your relationship was strong, communication prominent during the whole time, because you knew what could happen if it wasn’t there. the two of you never went to bed angry with each other, he always brought home flowers if he fucked up, hiding his face behind the bouquet as he uttered an apology and you always made sure to bring him a cup of tea to bed if you stepped out of line, before cuddling into his side and muttering a small ‘i’m sorry’ into the silence.

vip tickets gave you the perfect view of the volleyball court, adorning the japanese flag on one of your cheeks and a polo shirt that matched hajime’s with ‘iwaizumi’ spread across your shoulders.

it would be your own name anyway, you thought, as you twirled the engagement ring around your finger, grinning brightly before looking up at him and giving him an encouraging wink, mouthing an i love you at him.

you’d returned home twice; to japan the first time, and to iwaizumi hajime’s heart the second time.

[bidoldaccount]

Erase All The Downsides - FOUR

Word count: 1,665

Tags: Anxiety; subspace; emotional hurt/comfort

Intro ; ONE ; TWO ; THREE

It ruins him.

Seeing her absolutely ruins him.

She lives behind his eyes. She takes up full residence in his dreams, unyielding on his brain. He finds himself driving by the shelter more times than he cares to admit, trying to catch a glimpse of her, if only for a second. It makes his skin itch when he doesn't. There's a pack of Peach gum sitting in his center console but he doesn't know which brand she gets, so they all smell slightly off. His brain hasn't been this mangled since those first few months.

When she told him that she couldn't handle being alone anymore, he didn't know what to do. He had been defensive where he should have been reassuring, he was cold where he should have been accepting, he was hurt where he should have been comforting. He was too stubborn to fight when she ended it. She was right. He knows that now. He left her messages unread for weeks before calling her when the need hit him. It wasn't fair, it was her holding their relationship together for those last few weeks.

When she was gone, the itch in his skin got so bad he was physically scratching at his arms. He couldn't leave the house without having a panic attack, he spent the entire next tour cooped up in his hotel room, trying to replicate the reassuring weight of her body with anything he could find. Most nights, Benny had to lay with him until he fell asleep otherwise he'd stay up all night scratching and crying. It was two weeks into his tour when he slept with someone else. He drank until he forgot why he was so sad, and when he woke up the world crashed down a little harder. He locked himself in the bathroom and sat in the shower for hours until the girl was gone and the hotel staff let Benny and Charlie into his room. After that, it felt impossible to call her.

Having her so far out of reach grates on his nerves for days. He refuses to touch Lisa and he snaps at everyone, it feels like backtracking.

He breaks when he shoves Sam. They were arguing over something or another, he can't even remember what. He was being combative because he could barely see in front of him with how blurry the anxiety was making his vision. Sam said something and Dean pushed him. He barely had time to register what he did before Benny was pulling him away.

"Dude, what the hell is going on?" Despite his language, his voice is soft and concerned. Dean shakes his head, his knees shaking. There was so much emotion crawling through his brain that he almost felt numb. Benny called his name over and over as he got into his car. He shouldn't be driving, he's too on edge, but it's all muscle memory at this point, and he can't stop once he has started.

It feels like a longshot, and if he is wrong he just might crack completely, but he pulls into the apartment complex with practiced ease. His feet carry him in a shuffle down the path, his fingers twitching on their own accord. He knocks on the door with rushed fervor, and nearly falls to his knees when it swings open and she's standing there, in front of him.

"Dean?" Castiel's voice is so soft and reassuring that it finally does send him to his knees. The contact with the ground hurts, but he barely feels it behind the relief that washes over him. This feels pathetic, utterly and truly pathetic, but he can't find it in himself to care because he feels lost and Cas is staring down at him.

"I'm sorry. I know it's been years and- and I don't even know if you're seeing someone, and I'm seeing someone, but I can't.... I can't... Please," he's crying and he can't stop.

"Come here, come inside," she lifts him from the ground and supports him as he stumbles forward.

"I'm having too much anxiety and I can't control it, I can't stop it!" He can't breathe.

"Alright, sweetheart, I hear you," she shushes him gently as she guides him over to the couch. "You sit and I'll be right back." He wants to whine and refuse, but most of all, he wants to be good. He sits down on her sofa, plush beneath him, and relaxed against it as best he can while she leaves the room. His stomach jumps like it wants to follow her, but he sits still. She is only gone for less than a minute before she is walking back into the room with a familiar looking weighted blanket. She set it on the couch, moved one of the pillows onto the floor, and gestured him down.

"On your knees, honey," Dean wants to roll his eyes back with a mix of pleasure and relief, but he settles for a tiny whimper as he slips down to the floor, settling his knees on the pillow. He looks up at her with wide eyes, waiting for her next instruction. She sits down in front of him, spreading her legs around him. The weighted blanket goes over his shoulders, draping down around him in a constant weight that works to ground him. Castiel sits back on the couch, her eyes trained on him.

"Lie down, honey," she pats her thigh and the strings are cut. He drops his head onto her thigh, his breath leaving him in one solid exhale. "You just sit there and breathe for me, okay? There is absolutely nothing else you need to do except sit here and be my good boy," her hands were in his hair, scratching gently at his scalp. A soft whine leaves him before he can stop it, he wiggles a bit to get comfortable, then his eyes close and it's easy to focus on her touch. The smell of citrus and firewood wraps around him almost as heavy and comforting as the blanket.

He doesn't remember falling asleep but when he opens his eyes, it's dark outside. Castiel is still sitting there, her hands still in his hair, her gaze focused on the tv. He shifts slowly, trying not to think about how numb his legs feel.

"You back with me?" She asks softly, all of her attention back on him. He blinks a few times, his head heavy. "Come up here, stretch your legs out," she scoots forward on the couch, moving the blanket off of him so it's easier to help him up. He wobbles a bit, unsteady, but her hands guide him down to the couch. She makes him bend his legs up and down, gently massaging them.

"Thank you," his voice is wrecked from sleep.

"Of course," she takes her hands off of him and he tries not to look too desperate when he reaches for her again. She takes his hand and allows him to link their fingers together as he slumps slightly, regaining his bearings.

"Cas," saying her name sends a warm thrill through his gut. "I'm really trying not to want you but It's getting really hard. I need you to tell me if you want me to leave or you don't want me too, because if you don't, I'll figure something out. I just can't keep pretending that I don't need you, that I don't miss you. I'll understand if it's been too long, or if you have someone else, I just have to try or I think I'll explode," he's rambling and he can't stop, the jitter is back in his bones.

"Dean, of course I want you. I've always wanted you, I just needed you to be as involved as I was. But, honey, it's you that has someone, not me," she said with a little, sympathetic, tilt of her head.

"I can't be with Lisa regardless of whether you take me back or not," he sighed, tilting his head down a bit. "she needs something that I can't give her and I need something she can't give me. It's too hard."

"I understand. I'll be here, Dean, whenever you're ready," she ran her thumb over the back of his hand and he fell boneless into the couch at her words.

"I'm so sorry, Cas, I shouldn't have neglected our relationship like I did. I was distracted and arrogant, and I stupidly thought that you'd always be there. You were always there for me and I was never there for you," he whispered, meeting her thumb with his own, gently pressing them together.

"That's not true, Dean," Cas said, sliding the smallest bit towards him on the couch. "You helped me through a lot of my depression, you were with me through all of my family drama, I wouldn't have made it out of that as unscathed without you there. It was just those last few months, when the paranoia of having a rockstar boyfriend doing God knows what, God knows where, with God knows who, started to creep up. I trusted you 100% but it's hard not to think about the possibilities," she said.

"I know, I want you to know that I never did anything with anyone while we were together. I wouldn't do that," Dean assured.

"I know," Cas nodded with a soft smile. "It was the perfect storm of distance, time, and arguments. I don't think either of us are to blame, but I still tear myself apart every once in a while for ending it so rash," she said.

"It's okay now," Dean whispered, looking down at their hands. "It'll be okay now." Cas leaned over their hands and pressed her forehead to his shoulder. She wouldn't do anything while Dean was still in a relationship, and he knew that. So, he settled for resting his temple on her head, closing his eyes as she breathed against his arm.

[kiribaku-queen]

Home [6/10]

Pairing: Bakugou x reader, Kirishima x reader

Fluff, angst, werewolf!au

Word count: 3.8k

A/N: Whoops, another long chapter! Sorry TeamBaku fans, it’s a Kiri fluff chapter this time. Let have our hearts relax from no more heartbreak and rest our eyes from crying and enjoy the fluff and cuteness that is this chapter. Let me know if you want to be tagged in upcoming chapters!

Summary: Being called the beauty of the clan isn’t as nice as it sounds. The beauty of the clan is supposed to exude confidence, power, and well, beauty. You were quite the opposite, only possessing one of those traits. Yet, the older you got, the more you fit into the role you were given. After your brother and all the boys of age come back from their training period, it was time to find a mate. But who will steal your heart? Is it Bakugou, the rising leader of the pack, or is it Kirishima, the personal guard and the strongest in the pack?

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

You scoffed as a single tear drops. He really said it. After all this time, all these years, it was over. You bit your lip and looked at him with eyes full of rage and betrayal.

“Fine. It’s probably better this way. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t even fight for what he wants anyway,” you spat at him angrily and with that, you left without another word. As you left, Bakugou watched your retreating figure.

“FUCK!” he yelled, throwing everything and anything out of his way. Chairs, furniture, books, anything that he could have a hold on. He was so angry at the situation and at himself for letting this happen that he had to let his anger out by throwing or hitting something. Speaking of hitting, having no more things to throw resulted him punching the wall, repeatedly until his hands started bleeding. As if it wasn’t enough that his hand was hurt from his fight with Kirishima, but now it was even more beaten up. Almost to the point where his knuckles could be broken. As Bakugou was letting out his anger on the poor furniture in his room, a certain brunette was watching from afar, a smirk forming on her lips.

You were shaking as you returned home. Never in your life have you been so angry, hurt, sad and betrayed all at the same time. You were feeling so many emotions at the moment that you didn’t know how to react. Should you be crying? Yelling? Throwing things? Running away? You’d do all at the same time if it wasn’t for being in public and everyone watching you. The sight of your house could be seen and a still beaten-faced red head was waiting for you outside. Kirishima looked up to see you running right towards him. Before he could say anything, you already jumped in his arms, face buried in his neck.

“It’s over. Shit… it’s really over,” you sobbed into his neck, still not believing your reality. Kirishima hands balled into fists at his side. He wanted to go back to Bakugou to teach him another lesson but with you, vulnerable in his arms like this, he couldn’t. Instead, he embraced you. That made you hug him even tighter. You didn’t have to tell Kirishima what happened. Sometimes you don’t need words to express your emotions. Everything was said by the ambiance in the room. Kirishima knew how you were feeling, how hurt you are by your now ex-boyfriend. And to him, ex-best friend. He might not exactly relate, but he knew you were so deeply hurt. All he could really do was be there for you. And that’s what he did. He never left your side. For days and weeks on end, Kirishima was always there. When you were eating, when you were just staring at the ceiling, when you were watching TV, even when you were crying randomly at night, he was there holding you tight. He was there for you to vent, to take your frustrations out on. He didn’t mind. Not one bit. If it made you feel better inside, he was willing to do anything for you.

Slowly but surely, you were getting back to your regular routine. Only this time, Kirishima was by your side. After your break up with Bakugou, Kirishima had explained that he was no longer Bakugou’s personal guard or right-hand man. He was released from his position. That might be because he went out of his boundaries and hit the next alpha in the face, but that’s beside the point. Since Kirishima was the personal guard of Bakugou, he had to be by his side the entire time. So Bakugou’s family took him in as their own and provided him with a room at their house. Now that he was released from his position, he had no home. With lots of pleading and guilt tripping, your parents allowed Kirishima to stay at your house for the time being.

Having Kirishima staying at your house helped you in the long run. Afterall, Kirishima was your support system and he always knew how to make you feel better. And he was involved in your everyday life, making you forget about a certain somebody. When you felt down, he was there ready to hold you. When your quirk acted up, he was there to console you. When you felt like crying, he would wipe away your tears. You got so used to him holding you that when you two were at home, you would cuddle up with him on the couch. Or when you would be lying in bed, Kirishima would be lying right next to you. His touch was an everyday occurrence and now it was normal for you two to be glued to the hip. Your parents thought it was cute but Sero, on the other hand, was keeping a good eye on you guys.

A few months had gone by since the boys have been back from their training. And as much as you loved spending time with them, you had to go back to your job: teaching. While Sero and Kirishima were away, you found joy in teaching the little cubs the way of the clan. You taught them basic skills like math and history but you also taught them how to respect others and how the hierarchy works within the clan. Today, you had to return to your job. You missed the little ones just as much as they missed you. As you were ready to head out the door, Kirishima insisted that he wanted to tag along.

“C’mon (y/n), I’m bored at home. I just wanna watch,” he pouted. But you continuously refused.

“Eijirou, you can’t just tag along. This is my job! Stay home and… clean the house!” you tried to give him some chores so he wouldn’t be bored and to keep him occupied until you got home. Kirishima groaned in response.

“I clean every. Single. Day! Pleeeease. I’ll just like one of the cubs. I’ll be quiet, I promise,” man, he really wanted to see you teach. If you argued with him any longer, you would be late. Very hesitantly and almost regretting your decision, you let him join your class. On the way to your class, Kirishima was so excited that he couldn’t stop talking about how excited he was. You chuckled at his excitement. He really was acting like a cub.

It’s kind of cute.

What the? Why were you thinking that right now?! You mentally cursed at yourself for thinking that. Kirishima? Your best friend? Cute? No, he wasn’t cute. His personality is! Yeah! His behavior is cute, not him. Not him… You peeked over at Kirishima one more time and the way his smile brightens his face and how he was exaggerating his words by using body language brought a smile to your face. Your eyes traveled down to his arms. He had cut off the sleeves of his t-shirt, exposing his ripped arms. It was kind of incredible how much his body had transformed in 2 years and how much more attractive he became.

“Miss (y/n)!” several children’s voices snapped you out of your thoughts. You cleared your throat and thanked the lord that those kids stopped you from having more inappropriate thoughts.

“Hello my lovelies, I missed you so much,” you stopped in your tracks to sit on your knees, opening your arms wide to welcome your students back. The children ran into your arms, giving you the tightest hug they possibly could give. You all laughed in and a warm feeling engulfed you. This was your safe space. This is where you could forget about all your troubles and just focus on the kids. One of the kids looked up at Kirishima with questioning eyes.

“Miss (y/n), who is this?”

“Is it miss (y/n)’s boyfriend?” that created a lot of ‘ooh’s’ and ‘ahh’s’. Both you and Kirishima blushed at the comment but you were quick to deny.

“Ok kids! We need to give our guest our special welcome howl. On a count of 3: 1, 2, 3…” and every single cub there gave their best werewolf howl for Kirishima. You gushed at how cute they were. Kirishima was in awe at your class and your welcome was definitely something he could get used to.

“Thanks for your mighty welcome kiddos. Name’s Kirishima. I’ll sit in on your class so don’t mind me, okay?” Kiri introduced himself. Seeing how tall and muscular he was, from a child’s point of view, he looked intimidating but strong. That gained the attention of a lot of the boys. You gathered your class and began the lesson of the day.

“Okay class. Let’s start class off by something you’ve all been wanting to do for a while. We are going to be learning how to transform into our wolf forms!” you exclaimed and the class erupted in cheers. Excited chattering filled the air because this was pretty advanced but you knew that they were ready. And it’s better to start early than later, so why not? Plus, Kirishima was here to help you so I guess it wasn’t a bother that he was here afterall. You were about to explain how to transform when Kirishima takes your place instead.

“And I will be showing you how to do it with ease!” that caused the class to cheer even louder. So much for staying quiet. But you weren’t complaining. You let him have the spot light. As he was explaining how to transform, he transformed to and from his human form and werewolf form several times. You could tell it was exhausting him but he didn’t let that affect his energy or the smile on his face. Both you and Kirishima were helping each child to concentrate on their form. When you were helping one child, you looked up to see how Kirishima was doing. He was helping a little girl who was having trouble transforming but Kirishima was there for her, encouraging her each step of the way. You admired how dedicated he was and much attention he gave to just one cub.

“Listen up kids!” you gathered your class’ attention. “Let’s partner up and keep practicing okay?”

“YES MISS (Y/N)!” the kids yelled at the top of their lungs. “THANK YOU FOR THE ENTHUSIASM!” you screamed right back, smiling softly at everybody. You sat on a rock that allowed you to look over your entire class and monitor how they were doing. Kirishima walked up and sat right next to you. Silently, you both watched them practice and was ready to jump in if they needed help.

“You’re good with kids,” you said, suddenly, still having your gaze on the kids. Kirishima turns to look at you.

“Not like you. You’re the teacher here,” he says. You just shrug and look back to the kids. But Kirishima doesn’t stop staring at you. You try so hard not to look at him but you can feel his stare.

“You’re staring you know?” you tell him. You expected him to blush but he doesn’t. He just smirks and looks away.

Wow, that was kind of sexy.

You bite your lip and this time, it was your turn to stare at him. His red hair was tied in a low ponytail, his spikey bangs framing his face just right. His eyes were intense yet gentle when looking at the cubs practice. Like a father watching over his own children. His lips were gently parted which showed his spikey canines. Your eyes traveled even lower, back to his muscular arms. They were flexed a bit from how he was sitting. You’d be lying if you said Kirishima wasn’t attractive. He had a glow up and he was good with kids? He really was the dream guy every girl is drooling over.

“Look who’s staring now,” he says, catching you off guard. God, you didn’t mean to stare at him for so long. You were embarrassed that you got caught admiring his looks. You covered your face with your hands, hiding your flushed face. “Why are you hiding?” he teased and grabbed a hold on both your wrists. He tugged gently to make you face him but you were determined to keep your hands on your face. You absolutely refused to let him see your flushed face. But Kirishima also kept trying to get you to face him. With one hard tug, your hands were removed your face and your body was now facing Kirishima. With his hands on your wrist, your body was pulled a little towards him, your face inches away from each other. He was smiling and laughing when you pulled you hands away but when he saw how close you were, his smile fell to a shocked face. He stared into your eyes and you saw them fall on your lips, then back at your eyes again. Your heart skipped at his action. But before anything could happen, you shot up, standing now.

“Okay, class is over. Let’s pack up and get ready to leave. Don’t forget to thank our special guest on your way out!” you called out to you class in a panic. But kids don’t pick up on that sort of thing. They were just happy class was over and couldn’t wait to go back home. Man, going home with Kirishima was going to be awkward. You jumped when Kirishima snuck up behind you.

“Ready to go home?” he asks. You nod and hum in response, letting Kirishima lead the way.

 As soon as you arrived home, Sero was heading out.

“Oh, where are you going?” you asked when you guys got closer. Sero sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“One of the guys called in sick so now I have to cover their shift. I’ll be out patrolling for a few hours. Mom and dad are out so you’re going to have to cook dinner tonight,” he informed out. “See ya later. Bye man.” Sero quickly kissed out on the forehead and tapped Kirishima on the chest before heading out. You groaned internally because you really didn’t want to make dinner tonight. Moreover, there was nothing in the house to make dinner so you’d have to do into town to get ingredients. With no other choice and not wanting to starve to death, you went to the shopping area of town. Of course, bringing Kirishima with you.

You definitely didn’t like making dinner, but you loved going grocery shopping. All the stores were outside with the freshest ingredients. Just rows and rows of different stalls, selling different kinds of fruits, vegetables, meats, seafood. Even clothes and flowers are being sold.

You were walking on the right side of the stalls, in awe by the sight in front of you, along with many other people who were doing their shopping. Kirishima was following close behind you, admiring how you get excited over the littlest things. You looked like a kid in a candy store: wide eyed and mouth watering. He took this time to just watch you. You were so distracted so he didn’t have to worry about being caught by you. He could say so many things about you, about why he was so infatuated with you. But one thought was constantly on his mind when he saw you: you were beautiful. It didn’t matter what you were doing. You could be sleeping or pulling the silliest faces and to him, you would always be beautiful. Not only that, you were the sweetest person he knew. You weren’t treated right in your childhood, but you were still nice to people around you. Everyone in the clan respected you for that. You give to those who need it the most. And when you were teaching those kids not even a few hours ago? You tended to every single child, giving them the attention they needed while still bringing the whole class together. No one can tell him that you weren’t the most loving and most kind woman in clan history.

You were looking through and sorting out which apples to buy when Kirishima smelled a scent that was all too familiar. When he knew you were distracted by the apples in front of you, Kirishima glanced to the side to where the scent was coming from. And look who it is: Bakugou with his fiancée, roaming around like its nobody’s business. Way to ruin the mood. The smile on Kirishima’s face while thinking of you were replaced with a frown. Bakugou hadn’t seen them yet but Kirishima was already staring him down.

Uraraka wanted to get to know the people of the clan and by doing so, she needed to be with the people. What better way to do that than to go down to the local market where everybody was? Bakugou was forced to go with her by the order from his father. He really wasn’t interested in the slightest. He was only there to keep her company and to keep her safe if danger were to ever arise. So Bakugou let Uraraka do her thing while he lazily tagged along behind her.

You still hadn’t noticed yet. And Kirishima was planning on making it stay that way. As you were still picking which apple to get, Kirishima went up to you, backing hugging you in the process. His head laying on your shoulder which blocked the view of Bakugou and Uraraka. You jumped at the contact but immediately blushed when you figured out what Kirishima was doing.

“W-w-what are you-” you kept stuttering, surprised and confused with his sudden actions. His embrace was comforting and his scent was overwhelming your senses. Forget the apples. Your heart was picking up its pace and you didn’t know where to look. Should you be looking at him or not at him? Would it be awkward if you did? Of course it would be! His face was so close, his cheek was basically touching yours. So you stood still, stiff as a board, looking straight ahead. Kirishima takes the apple that was in your hand and examines it.

“This looks like a good one. We’ll get it,” he says to the seller and they immediately bag it. Kirishima hands him a few bills and takes the bag. He starts heading in the opposite direction of Bakugou, taking your hand in his on the way. This way, you can focus on him and not accidentally see the person who broke your heart. He was also doing it for his own enjoyment but no one had to know that.

You and Kirishima had already left the marketplace, but Uraraka still wasn’t done looking around so that meant Bakugou was still there. Uraraka spotted an old lady selling large, delicious, red apples and her mouth immediately started watering. She had to get some. Tugging on Bakugou’s arms, she pulled him towards the apple stand. As soon as he entered the general area, a rush of a familiar scent rushed into his senses. Two actually, but there was one that mattered to him more. Your scent danced around his nose, pulling him into a trance. Fuck, he missed you so much. Wait, if your scent was this strong then you must be around somewhere. Franticly, he started looking around, trying to see if he can spot you. Any part of you. He was getting frustrated when you weren’t in sight at all but your scent was still lingering in the air.

“Fuck,” he hissed to himself. He had missed you by just a hair.

 The whole way home, Kirishima was holding your hand and for some reason, you weren’t opposed to it. You actually kind of liked it. It didn’t last for long because you finally reached your house. He let go looking unfazed but you had a disappointed look on your face. Hoping that cooking would distract you from the lingering feeling that was left behind from Kiri’s hands, you got to cooking. You were chopping some vegetables when you felt someone staring at you. You didn’t have to even guess who it was.

“Yes?” you asked, breaking the ice while continuing to do what you were doing. The sound of the chair squeaking against the floor could be heard loud and clear and footsteps were approaching you. Kirishima leaned on the countertop next you, leaning sideways, elbow resting on the counter.

“Let’s talk,” he says. You cock your eyebrow.

“About…?”

“What happened earlier,” your heart leaped.

“What happened earlier?” you asked. You already knew where this was going but refused to believe it. Did he really have to talk about it now? Why is he even bringing this up? He didn’t respond. Huh, weird. Did he not hear you? “What happened, huh?” you asked again. You were met with more silence. Were you just imagining things or was he purposely not answering you? Or maybe you were deaf? Was he trying to embarrass you by making you say it? Whatever the reason, you were getting annoyed.

“Ya, Eiji-” you turned to him, ready to confront him. But he was faster. As soon as you turned to face him, he moved over to trap you in between him and the counter. His muscular arms were encaging you, preventing you from leaving. His face dangerously close to yours once again. How many times was he going to do that? And how many times is your heart going to react to that move?

“I like you, (y/n),” Kirishima confessed. You raised your eyebrows a bit in shock but you couldn’t react much, let alone move much because of the position you were in. Your heart starting racing at the sudden confession. All you could do was stare into his deep, red eyes. His eyes told all. He was deeply in love with you. So much that if he expressed any more love with his eyes, they would pop off his head. “I like you, so much that it’s getting really, really hard to control myself,” and with each word, his voice was getting deeper and his eyes were getting lower. Looking into your eyes, slowly making its way down and settling on your lips. He was leaning. The closer he leaned, the lower your eye lids got. Your eyes were completely closed now, ready for a soft pair, but powerful lips to land on yours, but they never came. Kirishima smirked, his hot breath tickled your lips and he pulled away. For some reason, you were sad when he did. Still learning on the counter with you in between his arms, he looks back up at your eyes.

“But I won’t touch you or do anything without your permission,” he declared. That made you blush more than his confession. That was also the manliest thing he has ever said to you. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me,” With that declaration made, he finally gets up and walks away, leaving you a little hot and bothered.

Tagged: @goodpop9 @superblyspeedydragon @tspice283 @marvelobsessedteen @rosetheshapeshifter @cabbagesquadfam

[shra-vasti]

MAKES ME WONDER [5/40] The Parting

→ Synopsis : Your dream to attend a Seventeen concert was finally coming true but you weren't prepared for the events that were going to follow after Joshua made eye contact with you and chose to make you his partner for the mini game and take you out on a date as a winning prize.

→ Genre : fluff with a pinch of angst

→ Type : Idol x fan au

→ Word count : 1.5k

→ Taglist :@mngyuheart @vannie24 @uglyratlmao @rjsmochii @dwcljh @noniesgirl (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist)

→ Pairing : idol!Joshua x fan!reader

→ Main Seventeen Masterlist

→ Makes Me Wonder Masterlist

"Wow, I never felt so good while doing something so rebellious and troublesome."

The grin on your face widened when you took a look at his disheveled self, both of you trying your best at catching your breath.

He was not the perfect Joshua everyone sees on camera, you could see the blood in his veins all across his tan skin, glistening in sweat but still managed to take your breath away.

It was truly a sight to behold.

You bend down, holding your knees and watch him do the same before he extends his hand towards you which you gladly took.

"First thing first let's find some accessories to disguise my face, I don't want to take any risk of getting spotted in the streets like this, don't want you to be in trouble because of me."

You would have understood him if he had said he wanted to protect his image while looking for a disguise but you couldn't help the endearing feeling erupting in your chest at his words.

He cared enough to not get you in trouble instead of thinking about himself, his first thought was your safety.

You had to remind yourself that you are his fan, just a fan who managed to be lucky enough to receive a rose from him, dance with him and go on a date with him which led you here, you won't see him after today and the thought made your heart break.

You felt him tug your hand making you look up at him to see him confusingly staring at you.

"What are you thinking? I was calling you from the past 2 minutes, come one take me to a shop so I could get a cap or something."

"I know a shop near this area, let's go."

You unconsciously intertwined your fingers with him as you led him towards the shop which you were talking about, he let you drag him, his eyes trained in yours and his intertwined hands.

A small simple crept up on his face, his hand gripped yours firmly, he was astonished at how perfect your hands fit his.

He wasn't sure if he was allowed to feel the emotion he was currently feeling, you were his fan but he couldn't help but look forward to the rest of his day.

He knew you had something in you which kept him hooked since the time he first laid his eyes on you but what kept him wanting to be closer to you was the fact that you were treating him as a person rather than an idol.

He never once saw you behaving all crazy or too nervous, never heard you gush about how handsome he was or how you could even die for him, heck he was ever more astonished at the fact that you hadn't asked him for his autograph or a selca.

You made sure to maintain your boundaries, you didn't try to ask him about his personal life and didn't really care about anything related to his idol life only caring when he told you how he wish to escape this life for once and here you were granting him his wish knowing that you could be dragged in it too.

He found himself inside a small shop with lots of adorable accessories.

"Here it will suit you."

You put a big pair of sunglasses on his eyes before wrapping up his neck with a thick scarf which covered half of his face.

He looked at the small mirror satisfied with his disguise.

"Don't cover up too much , you'll attract attention."

"You're right."

You smiled at him widely before holding his hand again and taking him out of the shop.

"You see there's this restaurant down there where not many people come but the food there is so tasty and every seat of them is divided by small cabinets like walls for privacy so even if anyone was there inside with us they won't see us."

He just watched you gush about this particular restaurant you were leading him to and with each expression on your face he felt himself getting more drowned by you and his heart filled up with adoration.

Both of you reached the restaurant and made your order.

"Are you happy?"

"More than I could even explain, it feels nice going around walking without worrying if anyone will see me, being able to enjoy myself without being surrounded by fans or cameras or crew."

He leaned on the table, putting his elbow on it as he looked at your face.

"Then I'm happy that I could make you happy."

He laughed and nodded his head before reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Thank You so much for today and everything you had done for me and also for paying for these since I didn't bring anything with me."

You frantically waved your hands in the air dismissing his gratitude.

"Think of them as my gift to you."

Both of you continued to eat in silence, neither of you talked but the silence wasn't awkward, it was rather comforting.

"You know-" you looked at him as he ordered the dessert for both of you and talk when the waiter left, "-I know I have said thank you before this but I can't really express how much greatful I'm feeling that you came in my life, I mean since you are my fan you may know that I wanted to quit if it wasn't for Jeonghan and ever since then even if I felt everything was so overwhelming I still tried my best and I always try to be the best version of me, but sometimes things get suffocating and hard that all I want to do is cry but then again I remember I'm an idol and if it cry it would ruin my makeup, my stylist often says that idols don't have feelings they don't cry."

You could feel your eyes getting filled up with tears as he explained to you and you let him share all of his worries with you, if you share pain it divides after all.

"Joshua, sometimes it's okay to break down, you aren't weak, I can only imagine how hard it may have been for you especially during the time when Seungcheol and Jeonghan were on hiatus but know that we will always be there for you."

You didn't even realize you were crying till he wiped your tears with his hands and he wondered how he was lucky enough to find someone like you even if it was just for a day.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"Don't get me wrong but do you have a boyfriend?"

You were standing in front of the hotel he was staying at as he asked you the said question while both of you waited for your cab to arrive.

"No I don't, I mean I did have one but we didn't end up on good terms."

He nodded his head, stuffing his hands inside his pocket.

"I'll miss you, I hope you'll meet soon somewhere in the future."

Your eyes met his and you weren't sure what he actually wanted to decipher through them.

"I'll miss you too, I was lucky enough to have a date with you let alone be able to spend a whole day with you, I couldn't ask for more, I hope you'll take proper rest and tell others the same too."

It didn't felt right for both of you, Joshua wanted the day to be just a bit more long, he didn't want to leave you yet, he wasn't sure why he was feeling like that but the thought of this being the last time he ever sees your face or be in your presence made his heart feel emotions he never felt, it was almost as if his heart dreaded the thought.

He wasn't sure because it hadn't been much time since he knew you, heck he didn't even know you existed 2 days back and yet here he was aching to hold you back and tell you to not live when you waved him goodbye and got inside of the cab.

You quickly shut the cab's door without giving him a second glance because you knew if you did you would change your mind and hug him tight.

You weren't supposed to feel so strongly for your idol, you weren't allowed to, you were just a fan supporting your idol so you didn't know why the tears were continuously slipping from your eyes at the thought that you wouldn't be able to be that near him ever again.

You didn't understand why you felt like it was your responsibility to take all of his pain away, you didn't understand why your heart was aching.

He would get busy after 2 weeks of vacation and he'll forget about you, you'll just be a vivid memory to be if not a forgotten one, you were just another fan among the sea of many others, there were lots of female idols with more perfect features, it wouldn't require him much time to forget about you but somehow those thoughts managed to hurt you more than it were supposed to console you.

[gaemkyuu]

‘Cause You Have To

Warnings: the story deals with Cancer and notions of loss, but there is no death. A/N: This was originally supposed to be a piece on Charlie that an anon had suggested, but I decided to try making it into a JATP fic seeing as I have an entire series for Charlie. Alive!AU without Bobby Disclaimer: The events of the story are inspired by Taylor Swifts “Soon You’ll Get Better” and my own experiences with a very close family member and their journey battling cancer. I do not own Julie and the Phantoms or any characters in this adaptation.

Masterlist

‘Cause You Have To

Julie’s could’ve swore her hearing was fine, but for some reason, as she sat under the fluorescent lights, he father beside her holding her hand, everything just seemed muffled. There was a dull buzzing in the background as Julie tried to focus on what the lady in front of her was saying.

“Julie?”

Her father’s voice rang loud and clear through the haze and she snapped her head towards him. She saw the concern riddling his face, but his eyes held a sadness that she had only seen once before. It was the same sadness he had when her mom was sick and when she passed on. She knew that look all too well as her father and her became the closest during those times.

“Mr. Molina, it is in the early phases and quite curable. If we begin treatment right away, I’m sure that eradicate the cancerous cells before they spread” the doctor’s voice was leveled, but her eyes spoke compassion and hope. Not certainty, confidence or assurance. Julie was sure they had said the same thing to her mother when they sat in this very office three years ago. The doctor said some more things that Julie couldn’t quite grasp onto, but she wasn’t talking to her, more than she was talking to her father. “I’ll give you some time. Please feel free to call me with any questions or concerns you may have. In the meantime, take this. I know I said a lot today, but these resources are simplified and can reiterate what I was saying.” This time she was speaking to Julie as she handed her the portfolio filled with documents. Julie took them with a small smile and placed them on her lap, not moving to get up.

With a click of the door, neither person left in the room dared to move. Julie thought that maybe the haze had affected her father too or maybe he was just trying to find the right words to say. Then again, what does one say in a situation like this? After losing his wife to cancer three years ago, he now has to hear his only daughter has it too? Julie’s mom looked perfectly fine until a doctor’s appointment when her and Carlos saw their parents parked in front of the house talking, hiding the fact that both were emotional and crying. Julie remembers that night vividly in her mind when they sat down to dinner and Carlos broke the awkward tension. Within 6 months, their mother had took a turn for the worse and lost her 6 months later. The whole experience left the family reeling, what more this?

“We’re gonna figure this out mija” Ray stared straight in front of him as he said this and she knew it was because he didn’t want to cry. “I promised your mom I would take care of you and I will”

“You’re right Papi. Everything is going to work out exactly as it should” Julie squeezed her father’s hand in assurance, causing him to look at her and smile. He kissed her on the forehead and stood up, Julie doing the same. She had no idea how her voice had been so confident to her father because deep down inside, she was scared. 

Their drive home from the hospital was silent as the music softly played in the background. Pulling up to the front of the house, Julie wondered if they were going to reenact what her father and mother did that day three years ago. “When do you want to tell Carlos?” her father’s question was heavy, knowing that this could completely change the younger boy’s life. 

“Over supper. We’ll tell him together. As a family” she smiled and hugged her dad over the center console of the car, both of them soaking in the moment. Ray got out of the vehicle and rushed over to the passenger side to open the door for her. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, stealing a quick side hug, the two made their way to the front door, only to be surprised that they had guests.

And not only did they have guests, their guests were busy fluttering about their house. 

“What is going on here?” Ray exclaimed rushing over to the kitchen, taking a casserole dish away from Carlos who was struggling. Although it smelt delicious, poor Ray was concerned about the mess that used to be the kitchen.

“I swear we will clean it all up Ray!” chimed Reggie, taking breadsticks out of the oven. Julie was surprised to see her friends and brothers busying themselves around the kitchen. It was no surprise to her to see Alex at the stove and Flynn cutting vegetables for what appeared to be a salad. It did comfort her to see Luke’s job was primarily setting up the table and pouring glasses of water, setting up their usual table of three for a table of 7. “Why don’t you guys have a seat?” Reggie ushered the both of them to have a seat at the table as he checked off a couple things on the piece of paper.  Ray looked at Julie with confusion all over his face to which she shrugged not knowing the cause of all of this.

“We wanted to make Julie a nice dinner and have some relaxing quality time together since she hasn’t been feeling well and all” Luke gave Julie a quick peck on the cheek and moved to grab a couple cans of pop from the fridge. Julie and her father shared a look of concern, knowing the reasons behind her health as of late.

“Super relaxing” Alex chimed in sarcastically as he seasoned whatever sauce he was working with, giving the boiling water in the other pot a stir. Poor guy looked like he was working super hard.

“I did all the planning” Flynn smirked proudly as she set the bowl of salad and dressing onto the dining room table, dodging Luke in the process. “Reggie’s being the supervisor, but I’m the mastermind” Julie chuckled at her friend’s remark.

“I made the cake!” exclaimed Carlos walking in with a chocolate cake on a dessert platter, placing it on the table. “Well... Reggie helped me follow the instructions on the back correctly” which merited a ‘welcome little man!’ from near the stove where Reggie was tasting Alex’s sauce and nodding. Within a matter of minutes, Luke took his place beside Julie, Carlos beside Ray and the other three brought over the other dishes. Her four friends had made a delicious italian themed dinner with two kinds of pasta complete with breadsticks and salad.

“Alex, it’s your turn for grace” Carlos smiled as he placed his hands on the table, others copying him.

“What? I said grace last time!” Alex objected. “It’s Julie’s turn” everyone smiled, closing their eyes and bowing their heads, waiting for the lead singer to lead them in grace.

“Thank you God for bringing us together to cherish the time that we have together. Amen!” With a chorus of ‘Amen’s echoing after and smiles going around, Julie couldn’t help but share a look with her father, knowing that her words held a seriousness about them. She watched with a content but slightly sad look in her eyes as her friends passed the food around, everyone taking a portion and tasting their fruits of their labour.

“So how was the doctors?” Reggie asked innocently, taking a breadstick from the middle. Julie stuttered for a moment thinking of what she truly wanted to say. Alex caught on to this quickly and shared a look with Flynn, who also caught the hesitation of their friend. Luke looked at Julie expectantly while taking a mouthful of food, his smile faltering, knowing something was about to happen. Soon the table started to notice Julie wasn’t answering the question, her head staring down at her plate and her father looking at her with concern. “I take it didn’t go well?” Reggie flinched as Alex kicked him under the table.

Ray looked at his daughter carefully and calculatedly, not sure as to whether or not she needed his support in delivering the news to her friends. She had only expected to tell her brother this evening, but the unexpected company of her friends and boyfriend, had made this conversation way more difficult than she anticipated. However, she knew this conversation with each individual had to happen eventually and she was thankful that this conversation only needed to happen once.

“It’s Cancer” her eyes looking at everyone at the table after the announcement left her mouse.

It was though everyone around the table froze. A plethora of different emotions crossed everyone’s faces for a moment or two, until Luke broke the silence.

“I’m sorry... I’m not sure if I heard you probably even though I’m right beside you, but did you just say Cancer?”

Carlos moved to be in between his father and sister, pulling them in for a tight hug. Flynn stood up right after and moved to hug Julie on her side of the table, while Luke sat there in shock. The other two boys followed her actions, starting a group hug, even if Luke was a statue. They held each other for a moment or two, Carlos and Flynn crying with her. Reggie teared up, but held it back while Alex provided quiet comfort to them. After some time they finally let go of each other, each of them hugging Julie, except Luke who was now looking down at his plate, quickly losing his appetite.

“Whatever you need Julie, we are here for you 100%” she smiled at Alex’s words, placing her hand in Luke’s empty one, still not moving. 

“Well the good news is that we caught it early, and that if I start treatment right away, I should be fine” Julie tried to comfort her friends, but knowing the havoc this sickness previously caused in their household, she knew there was very little she could do to ease her mind.

“‘If you start treatment’? ‘Caught it early’? ‘Should be fine’?!” Luke’s voice became more and more irritated as he quoted his girlfriend. “So all the times you ‘just needed a nap’ or ‘you’re just sore’ or ‘you weren’t sure where the bruises came from’, these have all been signs pointing to Cancer?” Alex moved to calm him down, but as Luke stood up abruptly from his seat, pain and hurt all over his face, it was obvious there was no calming him down. 

“Luke, come on-” Alex’s attempt to calm his friend was futile as Luke walked out the front door and slammed it. Everyone looked at Julie watching for her reaction as the sudden emotional outburst of her boyfriend. Julie took a deep breath and took a moment to find her composure.

“He just needs time. I’m okay. We’ll talk about it later.” Everyone nodded and took their seats at the dinner table, feeling slightly awkward at the nice meal in front of them. “I’m sorry you guys, I didn’t mean to damper the mood on this nice dinner. The pasta is really good Alex!” Julie tried to shift the mood and it worked partially as a chuckle or two was shared, while others smiled. Julie continued to eat her dinner encouraging everyone else to as well, even if the subject of Julie’s illness and Luke’s outburst on their minds.

Julie really wanted to run after Luke, but she ultimately decided not to for two reasons: A) She was tired and knew she wouldn’t be able to keep up with him and B) She knew that Luke was a passionate person and sometimes he just needed a little more time to process how he actually was feeling. Instead of pacing and worrying until he came back, she thought it would be better to do what her friends had initially wanted them to do. 

Besides, Luke always came back. 

Always.

***

It had been two weeks since Julie last saw Luke, as despite her calls or texts, she got no response from him. He avoided them when he was at school and when Alex and Reggie tried to visit him, his parents said he didn’t want to see anyone. Luke had completely cut himself off from his friends, still trying to process this news.

In all honesty, Luke was scared.

He didn’t want to admit it, but there were truths that he would have to face with Julie being diagnosed with cancer. Sure, Julie tried to comfort them by saying it was in the early stages, but he remembered that’s what they had said about her mother. Luke and Julie weren’t a couple at the time, but they stood by her as her mother’s health slowly declined and Julie fell into a sadness that caused her to turn away from music for a whole year. 

That was another thing he had to think about, their band. Luke knew that their band was kissing greatness and were starting to book bigger gigs, catching the eye of major music executives, but they would put that on halt for Julie’s health. It had been all of their dreams to make it big, but this would definitely change the course of their band’s future.

Luke loved Julie more than the band, and that was saying a lot. Her health was the number one priority, but Luke knew he had to prepare himself for all possible outcomes, including death. The thought made him sick to his stomach, and quite frankly, he had spent a lot of time crying at night thinking about it. Seeing Julie was hard because it reminded him of the uncertainty and the potential hurt they were going to have to face. Every time he saw her or their friends, he was reminded of the loss they might have to face and he couldn’t handle it. However, he didn’t realize how much he was isolating himself until he didn’t see Julie in the halls anymore. He kept to himself, but by Friday he had to know. His anxiety was getting out of control so he quickly found Flynn in the hallways  to ask her about Julie. Flynn had been grabbing things from her locker while Alex, Willie and Reggie waited for her.

“H-hey you guys” the four of them were shocked that Luke had acknowledged their presence despite avoiding them for the past two weeks. “Listen, I-I know I haven’t been around, it’s been hard, but where’s Julie?” the next thing he knew, he was being slammed up against the locker by someone he least expected; Reggie.

“So now you care?! Julie’s been gone this entire week, and now you care?!” Reggie was never this confrontational unless it was something that weighed heavily on his chest. Alex quickly coaxed Reggie to drop Luke and take a step back. Luke was still speechless at Reggie’s actions and was grabbing his bearings, as Flynn began to speak. 

“She started treatment over the weekend and hasn’t been feeling well since. She’s at home resting, but like you said it’s hard” Luke recoiled at the slight snarkiness to the DJ’s tone. His eyes were wide like saucers at a disbelief of the accusations they made against him.

“Hey, I care! It’s been hard to process this whole thing!” Flynn scoffed and shook her head while rolling her eyes. 

“You don’t think Julie is going through the same thing? We swore to be there for her Luke and she needs you. Yet you’ve cut everyone out so you could process this.” Luke swallowed hard, feeling guiltier than he had ever felt in his life. “Y’know what the worst part of this is? The fact that Julie still forgives you and tries to give you the benefit of the doubt!” Flynn stomped away, Reggie following in toe, leaving Alex and Willie behind with Luke.

“We were going to drop off her homework today, but I think it might be better if you do” Alex gave him the book and notes that Julie had missed from class, offering a small smile. Out of everyone, Alex knew what Luke was going through as his anxiety caused him to shut down and recluse. Luke silently thanked him with a hug and ran off to the Molinas.

***

“Thank you” Julie’s voice was horse as she took the glass of water from Luke. He quickly closed the toilet and flushed it, rubbing her back in the process of it all. Julie had gone through eight cycles of chemotherapy and her test results were coming back with positive news, but they weren’t in the clear. Ever since Luke rushed to her house after her first cycle, he had been at the Molinas every day, sometimes even staying overnight. At first, his parents didn’t approve of how much he would be gone, but after visiting the Molinas for dinner one evening, it became clear to them that they had no say in the matter. Luke was committed to being there for Julie every step of the way.

Ray was grateful for Luke. He understood what the boy went through at the beginning of it all, knowing that he went through something similar with Julie’s mother. Although a part of him was annoyed with not being there for his daughter at the beginning, he was grateful that he came around and became very involved in the whole process. Ray knew Luke brought Julie happiness, and while Julie rarely had the energy to sing or play, he would often find Luke singing or playing guitar to her. He also knew that Luke wasn’t the most academically bright student, but he brought Julie’s homework home on the days that she was too ill to return to school and tried his best to catch her up on what she missed.

Between the visits of friends and family in their home, Ray had found himself juggling a mountain of a to-do list, but the four friends stepped up to the plate to help him wherever they could. Often Flynn would help with tidying or organizing things in the house, while Reggie and Alex looked after Carlos, bringing him to and from games whenever Ray couldn’t be there. Luke would accompany Julie to every chemo session and would pick up her medication on his way over. 

Ray was grateful for the support system of the teens as it enabled him to catch up on work or other things on the to-do list. There were times for him to feel the heaviness of the situations and times for him to bond with Julie or Carlos thanks to the help of the teens. So as he stood there in the hallway mid stride in the middle of the night, he said a silent thank you and calmly made his way to the open bathroom door. As he stepped into the doorway, Julie retched into the toilet again, a frown settling on his face. Luke saw him as he comforted Julie and gave him a nod, signalling that Ray could go back to bed as he could take care of Julie. Ray raised his eyebrows in a confirmation gesture to which Luke nodded again to, and headed back to bed.

After repeating the water bottle mouth rinse, flush the toilet and sip water routine, Julie leaned her head on Luke’s shoulder, signifying that she no longer felt the urge to vomit. He picked her up bridal style and carried her back to her room, snuggling into his chest as he moved. It made Luke sad that Julie was lighter now and the bags under her eyes were a bit deeper, but you would never hear a complaint from Julie. In the midst of it all she still smiled and joked, trying her best to keep up with life as if Cancer was not a part of her life. He admired her strength and attitude amidst everything that she was physically feeling. He gently placed her on the bed and tucked her in, and she moved to make room for him on the bed.

At the beginning, Luke stayed in the guest bedroom across the hall from Julie’s room, but slowly moved into her bedroom the worse her side effects became. Ray wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea, but knowing that Luke would never do anything and the fact that someone could quickly attend to Julie, helped ease his dad instincts.

“Cuddle me?” Julie’s eyes were barely open, but she waited for her boyfriend to give her some physical comfort. Luke moved in closer to snuggle with her, moving her hair out of her face for her. “Is my hair getting thinner?”

“A little, but I only notice it because I’m not choking on it when you toss and turn in your sleep” Luke kissed the top of her head as she snuggled in closer to him. This elicited a small giggle from Julie and that was enough for Luke.

“Only two more cycles” she sighed into his chest. Her appointment earlier that day had yielded positive results. The doctor had said that they would do two more cycles before giving her a major break, seeing as her blood tests came back better every time. Julie wouldn’t fully admit how physically taxing the whole ordeal was. “Thank you Luke”

“For what?” the boy wrapped his arms around her thinning frame, holding onto the hope in her voice and pushing away any negative thoughts.

“For being here for me and for coming back” her voice was quiet, meaning she was starting to drift off to sleep. Luke began to softly hum to her, something he did to comfort both her and himself. He rubbed soft circles on her back and kissed her forehead one more time. Luke knew things were getting better, but the truth was that the possibility of it becoming worse was still there. But if there was anything he had learned in Julie’s fight, he knew he had to hold on to hope. No matter how scared it made him or how he would have the occasional nightmare of losing Julie, he constantly reminded her through words and actions that he had to take it a day at a time. 

“Anything Julie, you know that”

[voidcat]

–The Life Cycle of a Butterfly

Characters: Daichi Sawamura / f!Reader

Genre & Word Count: fluff & 2.9k

requested by anon:

Would you do a fluff Imagine for Daichi Sawamura where proposes to his HS sweetheart infront of Ukai’s shop because it’s the place of a lot of their relationship firsts like he realized he had a crush on her when they were first years running to each other after their clubs (she played soccer), where she told him she loved him after they lost to Aoba Johsai third year, got yelled at for kissing in front of when they found out they were going to the same university, etc? Your Bo fic got me ❤️

A/N: song rec for the fic is a Nocturne of Chopin’s. also pls keep it in mind i did the ending at 2am so there may be few sentences w/o verbs that slipped my attention.

Sakanoshita Store is a familiar place for many. A meeting point for teens, a store full of wonders for kids and a vantage point for Karasuno High, especially for the sports teams.

It is the place where you first hung out with your new teammates, some of whom you’d become life-long friends in the future. It’s where you found your second family and felt at ease, discussed tactics and laughed about funny memories.

For you, Sakanoshita Store was where you first laid your eyes on the infamous team, though unaware of it at the time, they managed to attract your attention. An usual after-practice snack, you and your friends had crowded the place. Upon entering and seeing there were no absent tables, they had bought whatever they came for and left. And in their absence, there was an air of unease. “Hey, who were they?” you asked one of your friends but the curious expression on her face made it obvious she hadn’t noticed them.

The next day in class, a stroke of silver hair you recognized from the store. “Hello Sugawara-san.”

“Oh, hi (Name)-san. Did you need something?”

“Yes, actually... I was wondering, which club you were in?”

“The boys’ volleyball club!” “Since when Karasuno has one?” The face he makes sends regret through your bones. With a soft giggle, hand scratching his head, he offers a sad smile; similar to the air they brought with them the other night.

“Well the club surely didn’t meet the expectations we had but Daichi-san has hopes for the future.”

The way he says the words gives you hope too, for their club and future success. “Who is, Daichi-san?”

“Square chin, broad shoulders, very nice back? Never captured your attention?” “I will… make sure to look for him next time. Thank you, Sugawara-san.”

“Please, you can call me Suga.”

Suga was right that day, because once Daichi Sawamura captures your attention, it’s downhill from there on.

Exchanged greetings were awkward at first but in a short time, you two would take the time to greet one another and ask how you are. With it began small talk, usually outside Sakanoshita Store, snacks in hand, standing like that for god knows how long.

“So what sports are you doing?” “Soccer!” His face a mixture of surprise and amusement, a moment you hoped would be engraved in your memory forever. Playing the sly, you invited him to one of your practices and he invited you to one of his. Working out and exchanging tactics and suggestions on health were a given after that.

When Suga invited you to the first of many study groups to come, you were none the wiser. “Hey (Name)! I’m holding a study group tomorrow for the upcoming exams. Would you like to join?”

And for your luck, it’d always be the seat next to Daichi or across him that was empty. They either liked to meet up earlier; Suga, Daichi, Asahi-san and Kiyoko-san, or Suga would tell you the time few minutes late for you to show up last.

No complaints though, as fierce as he is on court, Daichi was expectedly good with classes too. He would take the time to explain things patiently if anyone ever needed help, seeing that side of him would make you feel you were included in on a special event. One too delightful to watch and fluttering you in the process.

Firsts is something you experienced quite a lot in High school.

First low grade, first time you had to stay up all night to study, first time you had a bad game and first time you had someone in the audience that you cared for deeply. The first goal you scored was in the very same match, the finishing blow to the game and your winning point. It was the first time Daichi hugged you with an iron grip.

The first time you had snacks at a time so late was when you joined the team. Practices going longer than planned and starvation coming over the lot of you, Ukai’s store is where you all would [go].

The first time Daichi realized his feelings towards you may be bigger than anyone could foresee, it was another late night after practice hangout. As the chill air brushed your cheeks and left clouds of steam in its presence, you were having an energy drink, thanking him for it. One sip and your face was taken over by a new emotion, the surprise of tasting your favorite fruit in the drink, you asked how he knew and he just shrugged with the same small smile of his; a hint of knowing was hidden there but “Dumb luck.” was all he said.

As he started taking notes of what you like and what ticks you’ve got, the small details spilled during study sessions; you found yourself doing the same for him. Study group leading to study dates after an unexpected proposal one evening; a joke with a hint of serious in it.

“Hey have you been to this café downtown? The one that opened recently? I’ve heard they make discounts for couples, we could pretend to be one if you’d like.”

Pretending was easier than asking, little plays for gentler dreams, to avoid the possibility of stern truths and harsh rejections. Something close to disappointment passed through his face but he shook it off quickly, offering a big smile and a nod, “It’s a date, then!”. Oh how the both of you hoped for the words to come true hereafter.

Juggling on the thin line of what-nots, teasing remarks from your friends could not be escaped. And with people who don’t know you two, assuming you were more than just friends, it’d make things more sufferable occasionally. The close calls and the brushing of hands, his breath tingling your cheeks and your eyes watching him with an ever-lasting spark whenever he wasn’t looking around…

Safe to say you were always there for one another, could talk about anything and everything, a shoulder to cry on and a chest to bury your tears deep, a rooted support system at the matches and great consolation for any kind of losses.

Although fights and arguments rare and in-between, one came by after the biggest game of that time, ending with the victory of Aoba Johsai’s epic win. The morale was down, the third years now more lost than ever, for they were so close, fingertips almost grazing at what they’ve been chasing after for the last three years. As everyone started to leave one by one, back to their homes, it was only Daichi and you left behind, back at where it all began.

Frustration clear from his face and the air around him, you reached out a hand, only to stop midair, not touching him, grazing his shoulder or offering a soft pat. It was clear that wasn’t what he needed. Putting on a face of the strong leader for so long, doing the best he could to keep the team up and hopeful; it took everything in him to hold himself together. You wanted nothing more than to help him stay together, stronger than before, than ever.

Consoling words falling short at one point, it was clear he didn’t want to hear.

“Why do you even care so much about this? It’s not like our team faces a great defeat at the beginning, you are not the flightless crows, the depleted ones fallen out of their strenght-“ “Because I care about you, you idiot!” You didn’t mean to yell but maybe it was better to put it out like that.

For the first time in the past hour, his face softened to something new, curious and tender. The “why?” hanging from his lips could be heard from the silencing weight on the street.

“Because I care for you. I love you, can’t you see, how much it hurts me? Do you think I can’t feel your pain and anger right now? Your disappointment and doubts eating at your guts?” Hands acting on their own as words came out of your mouth, you held him in a gentle grip as you kept going.

Aware of the tears gathered at the edge of his eyes, you were numb to yours until he wiped away yours with one step, one touch.

A second step and he was hugging you tight, pressing to himself as much as he can. As if the world around you was reaching its end and he wanted to shield the both of you no matter the consequence. Words mumbled into your hair, you didn’t need to hear to understand what he was trying to say.

Seeing you hand in hand, it was Suga first to cheer on you. A little “Took you long enough!” coming from him didn’t go unnoticed and you could only laugh in response. He did have a point after all. Knowing that, he wouldn’t miss any chance he could get to brag about how it was him to get you two together.

“So our loss to Seijoh was a plan of yours as well?” Daichi said one day and Suga toned down the bragging about being the best wingman.

Joining the club on their practice matches whenever you can was more than just an excuse to see your boyfriend. Getting to see the improvement of your underclassmen made you feel like a mother who first witnessed their baby walking and running. Still doing your best to encourage them whenever you can, you were there with them ‘til the very end.

As school drew near, the immersing? Fear of separation hovered over. It was without a doubt you all would keep in touch but there was something saddening about having to leave high school behind and begin a new chapter of your lives. No more cozy lunch breaks with your friends, you could never get to enjoy the sudden taste of spotting Daichi across the hall during your breaks, waving at each or blowing kisses at one another. No more after school practices together, farewell joint work out sessions and early practices.

With the ever pressing matter of this, all you could was to live in the moment, enjoy it fully and through, take as many mental pictures as you can, laugh your heart out until tears come out and Suga’s face hurt from smiling so much, until Kiyoko cracks down a smile and joins in on your schemes, Asahi watching the rest of you with worry…

And Daichi by your side, almost all the time. Suga would say you two were attached by the hip. On the walks home, you’d offer him your arm and he would pull you to himself instead, an arm wrapped around your waist, your head on his shoulder, inhaling each other’s scent and watching the sun set.

When the awaited time came at last, first thing you did was to run to him, yelling where you would be going for studying. Joining on your joy and little celebration dance, he pulled you to himself and wore the same proud smile he always had whenever his thoughts lay on you.

“Let’s have a treat like always to celebrate!”

“You mean- Ukai’s store?”

“Why not? We should have as many Karasuno snack memories as we can there.” Seeing the unease on your face, Daichi placed a kiss on your head and leaned in for a hug.

“Come on. My treat.” With a quick nod on your part, he grabbed his jacket and the two of you were on your way out. Your feet practically skipping, you couldn’t contain your enthusiasm and started rambling off about anything you could spot on the way, hands never stopping once.

“Hey! Wait a second. You never told me where you got in!”

“So… hungry… cannot- talk…” He said in a rather mimicking voice, low, his unoccupied hand reaching out to a nonexistent table of feasts, clearly impersonating the many times you’ve done the same thing to him.

“Okay, so be it. I can wait!” At your words, he shot a grin your way and pulled you further to himself.

By the time you reached Ukai’s store, purchased anything you craved and got out- another request of Daichi’s, “For old times’ sake.” he simply said. As you were busy unwrapping, his eyes lingered on the store and the trees around, each stone and person passing by.

 He speaks so quietly, you don’t register his words at first: “It’ll feel weird coming back here as college students. I’ll miss seeing through the eyes of a crow.”

Your hands coming to a halt, you look at him, at his eyes and the corner of his mouth, and he doesn’t keep your expecting eyes waiting. “But it’ll be a new beginning for us. Visiting again as the students of (University Name) this time.”

Turning back to face you, with the same smug grin of his, it catches you off guard, even if only for a second. Food be damned, you throw yourself at his arms, the very same ones you found consolation and comfort many times before, and before either of you can realize, you lock your lips, Daichi holding you in his arms, spinning you around.

It feels so normal and natural yet magical, another first in the chamber of joy and the course of living, in the cycle of life and everything. As everything else around you seems to tone down, colors faded back into the background as well as the sounds, you are startled by the shout, a little too familiar. Offering Coach Ukai a sheepish grin, you pull Daichi by his hand and run off to where your feet guide you; the laughter coming from the both of you ringing in the air, bubbling up in your chest and making you feel.

The cycle rounds up again and you take on the new step, from now on comes new beginnings, each one a new adventure test, new taste to try, to drink, run and yell, scream and dance.

It always leads back to certain places engraved in your lives. The same café you first went for an impromptu date, the same park you had a picnic, the familiar front of Sakanoshita Store, the same benches you’ve sat together many times before and fell asleep many more…

Be it a celebration after the tiring week of finals, or a study date gone rogue, a party to celebrate one’s birthday or just a quick run-down the store due to an emergency craving; it always rounds back to the same places, although new settings come once in a while to be joined.

Seasons pass, people come and go, things change and flowers bloom.

The waters wash down the worries just as hit against the rocky cliffs, sharpening some and softening the others, the breeze gently grazing your cheeks and the sun leaving little kisses.

Another day of walking together, nothing particular in mind to do and you find yourselves in front of the Sakanoshita Store like many times before.

“Do you want anything?” you ask Daichi and he just shakes his head. Whispering “I’ll be out in a minute.” you go in.

By the time you are out, Daichi’s attention seems elsewhere, gazed focused on far away, on something that’s not even here. Breaking out of the trance upon hearing your steps, he turns to face you, an expression you haven’t seen in a while, at least not directed at you.

“(Name)-“ he begins, “The past years I’ve gotten to know you, live with you and by your side, they have been the greatest years of my life.” Your breath comes to a pause, unsure of what will follow his words.

“And ever since I’ve met you, you have become a butterfly in my heart. In my stomach, exciting me with your presence; in my mind, entrapping? My thoughts and ideas; flowing in my blood like the oxygen and filling my heart with emotions I could never imagine be true.”

Holding your hand with his, in a manner he has done before, his gaze follows your fingers and trails up back to you. “And just like a butterfly, my life has entered a cycle. A mere caterpillar meeting you, chrysalis never seemed so easy with you, and with that I’ve emerged as someone bright new. Over and over again. Each moment we’ve shared, a new cycle; each day coming to an end, the cycle would carry us back here; each tender memory now engraved in my heart is a gift from you and my days I’ve spent with you.”

Another deep breath and he adds lastly. “So thank you. For giving me this opportunity and letting me live through so many lives, more chances than a butterfly could ever have.”

As your heart stammers in your chest, torn apart on how to feel and what to say, you just stare. “I… I don’t understand-“

“My butterfly-“ Daichi says as he squeezes your hand, “Would you be so kind and allow me to experience more cycles by your side, take me into your heart and life, share a leaf for now and ever?”

When put out like that, it seems clear as day, as the sky above you in that very moment. And all you can say is to let out a “Yes!” and throw yourself into his arms, like you’ve always done.

[spursnroses]

So I’m still trying to process what happened last night. I need to write it out because I have no one nor place for it. First, I am going to warn you that this post will contain triggers such as mental illness, suicidal ideations/suicide that involves a family member, violent threats/verbal abuse, sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, and family death. Please do not read if you cannot handle such heavy content.

Last night my mother ended up drinking quite a bit, and we got into a fight.

She threw a temper tantrum for a very stupid reason - her phone died and her only phone charger was too short because over a couple of weeks ago my cat chewed up her other one which she left out despite knowing about his chewing habits by the way. She ranted about wanting to kill my cat/wishing he would die. She then threatened to take my phone and break it, so she made several attempts to grab it from me, but I refused. It turned into a wrestling match - I tried shoving her off me.

Of course, I grew upset. I kept telling her to stop or that she was making me angry. She wouldn’t listen. She deliberately kept me from going into my room so I could remove myself from the situation. I finally gave up and pushed my phone into her chest: “You want my phone so damn bad. Here you go.” I walked past her into the bathroom to wash off the blood from the scratch she gave me in the process.  This made her angrier and shoved my phone back into my jacket’s pocket violently and tried to rip my jacket. She started to mock me for being hurt. She deflected by making claims that she was just playing around and that I always treat her she was such a horrible person and mother. That she’s an abuser. That I should go live with my “father” who never had anything to do with me in my entire life.

I tried to defuse the situation once again by trying to console her because I already felt tired by this point. I brought her a cup of water then she went to bed hoping she’ll just sleep it off. I was wrong.

She came back out and rummaged through the kitchen’s drawers. I pleaded with my mother from killing herself for however many times. She first cut her arm and her leg. She stood there in the kitchen with a knife to her throat. Eventually, I was able to calm her down. When she returned to her room, I immediately hid all the objects she could hurt herself with and she finally went to sleep.  For many years, ever since I was a child, I lived with a severely mentally ill and single parent. My youngest memory of her mental illness remains fresh in my mind - I would be six years old and get up in the mornings to make breakfast and wandered outside alone while she still slept in bed almost all day. I found myself terrified by her violent outbursts or meltdowns - I would lie through my teeth to avoid her anger - sometimes I still am terrified. She depended on me a lot for emotional support despite being a child; wanting to be the best daughter, of course, I did whatever I could to make her happy. People would constantly compliment me on how mature I was for a young girl.  I used to be highly sensitive during my early childhood - I would cry at the simplest “no” - but I think it had a lot to do with emotional neglect. As I grew older, I detached myself from emotions. Today I still struggle with expressing how I feel.

I carry a lot of trauma from life - my mother, though most of it is unintentional, emotionally manipulated and abused me for who knows how long and her past boyfriend who sexually abused me when I was five and six years old. Growing up deaf came with no easy tasks too. I already knew I was different from other kids when I walked on the playground with no friends. I experienced constant fatigue and anxiety.

Recently, I lost both of my grandparents who helped to raise me; they were my biggest support system. In 2015, my grandma unexpectedly grew ill and passed away on my birthday. My grandpa had early-onset dementia, and it was awful and stressful. He eventually succumbed to his bodily ailments in 2019. I watched and said my final goodbyes to both of them on their deathbeds. That’s when the drinking escalated especially since my grandma died. Alcoholism runs deep in my family. My grandpa, unfortunately, drank, his brother and sister also drank to themselves to death, and now my mother and aunt drink heavily.

When my mother drinks, she binges to the point she rages or blackouts. She has called in sick to work multiple times before because she’s so hungover. 50/50 of the time when she’s drunk, she’ll start picking fights with me. On a few occasions, it has become physical such as blocking my path or cornering me but most of the time it evolves into name-calling, berating, and guilt-tripping. She often breaks things when she goes into a white-hot rage. There are dents on the walls of the bathroom. A few weeks ago, she shattered one of my grandma’s possessions. She once ripped the front door off its hinges which I later fixed.  She sometimes brings strange men to the house, and last year, one of them crawled into my bed naked and grabbed my wrist waking me up. It scared me so badly. Thankfully he didn’t do anything to me because I jerked away and asked, “What are you doing?” and he left my room. I woke my mom up and had him leave. My mother still had the gall to say I was just dreaming it. After that incident, I installed a lock on my door and sleep with a tazer under my pillow.

I have accepted at this point in life it is out of my control. I can’t stop her from drinking. I can’t force her to seek treatment.

She always had a poor temper and suicidal tendencies though. It just intensified with alcohol. One time she took a bunch of pills with vodka and fell in the shower mostly unresponsive. I called my aunt for help, and she came over; so did the paramedics. She spent a few days in an institution for observation and treatment, but that never really helped her. This was not her first episode; she ended up there a few times - over a year ago her former counselor called the police on her and they came to the house. One of the policemen found the pill bottle with my name on it and accused me of giving my mother the bottle though this situation was beyond my control. She ended up at the hospital then transferred to the institution for suicide watch. She never became the better for it. She refuses and claims nothing ever helps her. Lately, I have been trying to distance myself from my mother. It’s difficult to set boundaries because she constantly crosses them. I have grown to become very angry and resentful especially towards her. My mother is extremely emotionally enmeshed. She depends on me for emotional support, but after so many years, it is starting to wear me down. I no longer want to feel responsible for her emotions. I honestly have no support system in place. I don’t have any close friends to talk about what I’ve been going through. My aunt is clueless about what goes on at home, and I don’t intend to tell her about it because I know it just would cause more problems.  Sometimes, I just want to scream, kick, and cry. My life can be literal purgatory. I feel very trapped. I want so badly for something or someone to whisk me away from this life. It amazes me that I don’t act as fucked up as I truly am.

[allisonxmoynihan]

always be my baby ~ p. moynihan

Note: This is Part Two of the fic! If you haven’t read part one yet, or need a refresher, you can do so here! Thank you so much for the endless support and I hope you enjoy! 

Word Count: 3,491

Life had returned to normal: you were back at school surrounded by your friends, exploring in your downtime, spending time with Olivia and Kelsie, and you and Pat were friends again. It wasn’t easy to forgive him, but a couple months after your dad’s birthday surprise you decided it was time, and the right decision, to at least let him back in as a friend.

It was the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week, and you had just finished your last class before Fall Break. You found yourself sprawled out on your boyfriend’s bed as he sat on a beanbag next to you playing video games with a few of his friends.

“Hey, babe, what time are you heading home?” Sam asks you, turning his head to look over at you.

You shrug your shoulders looking up from your phone, “I don’t know, some time tomorrow morning probably? Are you heading home at all?”

Sam turns off the game console before coming over and plopping down next to you, “Nah, I’m staying here for the break, my mom’s meeting me in Boston on Friday morning for brunch”

You adjust your head so that you can listen to the steady beat of his heart and you smile, content that today was a good day for the two of you, as his arms wrap around your waist, one hand going and twisting strands of your hair gently in his hands. It wasn’t that you and Sam had an unhealthy relationship, because for the most part everything was perfect, but sometimes the two of you would bicker nonstop to the point of you having a meltdown in Olivia’s dorm and him ignoring you for days afterward. 

“You’re going to eat crappy dining hall food alone on Thanksgiving?”

He sighs, “yeah, but it’ll be okay princess, they’re supposed to have mac n’ cheese that day too”

You lift your head up excitedly, “Why don’t you come home with me tomorrow? My parents are dying to meet you anyway, and besides no one should have to be alone on a holiday!”

He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, “anything for you, but you have to come to brunch with my mom then.”

~*~

Thanksgiving Day at your house was always hectic. Somehow your parents always got stuck with hosting, and your mom would be stuck in the kitchen all day as your dad and brothers played sports in the backyard as your grandparents sat at the kitchen table keeping your mom company. As soon as you got your driver’s license you got put on emergency grocery runs. 

“y/n, I don’t have the stuff for the pumpkin pie or the sweet potatoes,” your mom says as she scrambles about the kitchen, checking the turkey. “Oh, and I need stuff for brownies and stuffing!”

You stand up from the kitchen table and grab your car keys, “anything else?”

Your mom shakes her head fervently, “hurry,”

On the car ride to Shaw’s your favorite song came on the radio so you turn the volume up and start belting out the lyrics, a wide grin plastered to your face as you slow for a red light. 

Sam immediately goes to turn the volume back to an inaudible volume, “babe, really?” he asks, looking at you as if you were crazy.

You feel your face lose color as you continue to stare ahead, a little hurt that your boyfriend of the last five months would do something like this when he clearly knew it was your favorite song. You fight off the thoughts that Sam held you back from being completely happy, that Patty would never do something like this. You silently curse at yourself for constantly comparing Sam to Pat, as you turn into a parking space, but it was no secret that Patty would never treat you the way Sam did. 

In the five months of dating Sam, he was always quick to call you out on your weaknesses and shortcomings, using your poor grades on a test to boast about his 100%, and even getting annoyed when your goofy and childish nature was highlighted. But time and time again you decided that the good outweighed the bad in the relationship.

Completely disregarding your sudden and distant behavior Sam slips out of the car and strolls towards the door. You take a deep breath, grabbing a shopping cart and hurrying after him. You finally catch up with Sam who is waiting for you in the produce section. “What did your mom need again?”

You force a smile onto your face, hoping you’ll sound somewhat positive, “sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie stuff, and stuffing,” you say, starting to pick up various sweet potatoes and put them in a bag. 

“Here, let me get it,” Sam says, taking the bag from your hands and grabbing more sweet potatoes. You glance up, seeing Patty across the produce section and a big, genuine smile erupts on your face as you wave to him. Pat smiles back before going back to investigating which head of lettuce was the best. Sam clears his throat, directing your attention back to him.

“Why don’t you go get a box of stuffing mix and then meet me back here? Stuffing should be aisle three.”

You nod, walking off as Sam continues to fill a produce bag with sweet potatoes. Feeling a presence next to him Sam glances at the brunette boy next to him who is preoccupied with picking up various sweet potatoes, inspecting them, and putting them back in the crate, all while glaring at Sam.

“Who the hell are you? The boy finally asks.

“Sam Loughlin, what’s it to you?” 

“That’s a pretty douchey name,” the boy mutters under his breath as he finally selects a sweet potato and adds it to his cart.

“Excuse me?”

“How do you know y/n?” the boy asks, continuing his inspection process of sweet potatoes just like he’s probably seen his mom do a million times over.

“I’m her boyfriend, who are you anyway?”

The boy turns and glares at Sam, his eyes blank of emotion, “Patrick Moynihan, the love of her life.”

As if on cue you return at that moment with a couple of boxes of stuffing in your hands. Patty looks down at you, “Hey y/n! Tell Nate and Luke I say hi, and of course to your mom and dad.”

You smile, tossing the stuffing into your shopping cart, “yeah, same to you Pat, Happy Thanksgiving!”

Sam stands beside you possessively, snaking an arm tightly around your waist, and you go to look at him and see him seething with anger and you go to ask him what’s wrong but nevertheless he waves you off.

“Pie crust and pumpkin filling is all that’s left on the list. Let’s go,”

~*~

By the time you got home and dinner was ready you were exhausted and couldn’t wait for the day to be over so you could call Olivia and discuss your Black Friday shopping plans that occurred every year. And Thanksgiving dinner couldn’t have been any worse.

“Mommy, I wish Patty was here,” Nate whines, pushing his green beans to the side of his plate.

“Eat your green beans or no dessert, sweetie pie,”

“Daddy, do you think Patty will come over later tonight like he used to and have dessert with us and play football with us?” Luke chips in.

Your dad looks over at you, sorrow filling his eyes, “Uhh, no honey, I think Pat has his own family plans this year,”

Your mom, sighs, “well his jokes would be much appreciated right now after a long day of cooking,” she laughs as she places a spoonful of green beans onto Luke’s plate who groans at the sight.

“He wasn’t here to help with the turkey either!” your dad exclaims.

You glance up at Sam, hoping he’s not upset or angry, but to your dismay annoyance and disgust are written all over his face. And you know you’re going to hear about it after dinner.

Your grandma cuts up her piece of turkey, “y/n, what happened to that sweet boy we all liked? He was kind of tall. Goofy. Very goofy. But he had sweet eyes,”

“Marilyn, his name is Patirck,” your grandpa explains, placing his hand on your grandma’s shoulder who turns to look at him.

“Oh hush up and eat your stuffing, Charles”

You laugh, shaking your head at your grandparents, envious of their deep affection towards each other. 

Sam exhales loudly and you look up at him. He lifts his chin to the right towards the kitchen and dismisses himself from the table walking into the other room. Your mom looks at you worriedly, “I’ll be right back” you whisper, following Sam into the kitchen. 

You walk in to see Sam standing tall, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. You immediately feel sheepish, like a small child that disobeyed their mother.

“I can’t fucking take anymore of this bullshit tonight” Sam says in a hushed tone,

“Take what? What’s going on?”

“That asshole from the store, your family raving about how great he is even though may I remind you he cheated on you. I didn’t really want to come here in the first place, especially if it meant you falling for your fucking ex all over again,”

You sigh loudly, “whatever, if you don’t want to be here then go, I don’t have to put up with your attitude either.” 

Sam rolls his eyes, a scowl taking over his face, “I’ll send you the address for brunch, and don’t embarrass me.” He says before walking to the front of your house and slipping into the shadows of the night.

Later that night you called Olivia to discuss your shopping plans but also to vent to her about the events that went down that night.

“I’m just so sick of Sam getting mad whenever a guy says hi to me or something, like he’s in a frat for crying out loud, he has girls on him all the time”

“Yeah, I don’t know y/n, it’s just weird”

“And he’s annoyed that my family was upset that Patty wasn’t there, like I’m sorry they grew attached to him in the thirteen years of knowing him”

Olivia sighs heavily, finally selecting on the blush pink nail polish instead of the cherry red one.

“What?”

“I don’t want to be mean, but y/n you’re my best friend and I just want you to be happy. But if you want my honest opinion, I’ve never seen you more unhappy than you are with Sam and that’s including when Pat broke up with you”

After finalizing your plans with Olivia for Saturday you find yourself painting your toenails and watching dance moms when you get a facetime call from Patty.

“Hey, Pat!” you smile, starting a second coat on your toes.

“Hey, what are you up to?”

“Watching dance moms and painting my nails, and I guess talking to you now,”

Pat smiles, “Remember when I let you paint my nails and you wouldn’t let me take it off”

“And all the guys chirped you for being ‘so whipped’”

Patty grins, “yeah, that was a good memory”

There’s a comfortable silence that falls over you before Pat starts telling you about his grandparents and how they’re doing, and also asking about yours. 

“Well I’m glad they’re doing well y/n, that’s great news,”

You nod slowly, pouring over your conversation with Olivia about Sam. You zone out contemplating what you should do. She did have a point, you were extremely unhappy and have been for awhile, but at the same time you saw how good Sam could be, and that potential was enough to keep you there.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Patty asks, concern filling his voice.

“Oh, it’s nothing,”

“What did that asshol you were with earlier do something? I’ll fight him.”

You laugh to try and fight the tears that were stinging your eyes, but they inevitably start rolling down your cheeks, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I not enough for anyone? Sam. You. Literally everyone,” you croak out, rubbing furiously at your tears.

Patty’s face softens, “c’mon don’t say that, y/n, you’ve always been enough,”

“Then why’d you leave me? Why’d you cheat?”

Patty sighs, rubbing his hand across his face, “I don’t have a good explanation. I was lonely and drunk and I missed you and didn’t know what to do about it, but that’s all besides the point. y/n you’ve always been good enough, okay? You’re too good for the majority of guys in the world, including me.”

You sit there, rubbing the seemingly never ending tears that were pouring down your face.

“Hey, c’mon, just like Abby says, ‘save those tears for the pillow!’”

You smile slightly, “Hey, there’s that smile!” Pat gushes.

You roll your eyes, “you’re such a dork,” you say as you wipe more tears away.

Pat continues to try and cheer you up by telling you knock-knock jokes, because they’re your favorite, recalling funny moments from the past, and filling you in on all the embarrassing moments from his time at school.

Suddenly Pat sits up in his bed, “you should just leave him,”

“What?”

“Leave Sam. He doesn’t treat you right, and I know I’m one to talk, but y/n c’mon, the guy treats you like an object,”

You lean over to turn your light off and slip in under your bed covers, getting comfy in bed. “I can’t leave him, Pat. He’s a good guy, trust me. You just don’t know him,”

Patty sighs and quickly changes the subject to the most random of things, his voice low and soft as you drift into slumber. Patty sits and watches you sleep for a bit, remembering the times you were falling asleep next to him, and before he hangs up he whispers ever so quietly, “I never stopped loving you,”

~*~

The next morning you were supposed to meet up with Sam for brunch with his mom, but you weren’t really feeling it that day. You strolled down the streets of Boston wearing your oversized sweatpants, Patty’s Nobles hockey sweatshirt that you had never given back, and a pair of birkenstock sandals. 

“The hell are you wearing, y/n come on, this is a nice restaurant and my mom is coming, remember?”

You roll your eyes as he looks at you disgustedly, “Yeah, about that, I’m not staying”

“Jesus, why do you always have to go and make a fool of me wherever we go”

“See that’s the thing, you turn everything on how it affects you, and sorry to break it to you but not everything is about you.”

“What the hell are you going on about now?”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m tired of always stressing about how I look and how my actions are going to impact you. I’m not even living for me anymore, I’ve become your puppet and you still can’t stand being around me”

He rolls his eyes, “Well if you’re leaving, go. I don’t really need you around”

~*~

That night your parents are out with your brothers at a hockey game, so you find yourself home alone in desperate need for a distraction. You find yourself baking brownies when you hear a knock at the door. You frown, dropping the measuring cup into the flour jar, and going to check who’s at the door.

“Oh, hey,” you say, stepping to the side to let Patty in who gladly walks right into the kitchen and taking a seat at the kitchen island. You follow him so you can resume your cooking, breaking the silence Patty says, “you still stress bake?”

You nod, whisking the eggs into the batter.

Patty is slow to nod, “Liv told me you might be upset and I wanted to come and check on you.” you look at him with a blank face and he stammers, “y’know because we’re friends. And that’s what friends do”

“I’m fine.”

Patty props his elbows up so he can rest his chin in the palm of his hand and watches you pour the batter into the pan. He takes you all in, the way your hair is falling out of its bun, how you have flour all over the front of your shirt, and how you gently scrape at the sides of the bowl to get the excess batter out. Deciding you have enough batter in the pan you start licking the extra batter out of the bowl and sucking your fingers that have batter stuck to them as well.

“What?” you ask looking up and noticing Patty’s stare.

“Nothing,”

“Is there batter on my face?” you ask as you smudge your hands across your face, wiping at the batter that was never there in the first place.

Patty laughs watching you, “no, you’re good,”

“Then why are you staring at me”

Patty’s face momentarily goes red before he shrugs it off, “I’ll help you with the dishes,” he stands up and takes the bowl from your hands and starts washing all the utensils you used.

Taking a seat at the island, you watch Patty wash the dishes and think about all the times he’s done this same exact thing before.

“Hey Patty?”

“What’s up”

“This is going to sound really silly,” you look down at your feet fumbling with the hem of your shirt, “but, um,”

Patty shifts his weight to one side and leans against the counter, “I’m sure it’s not silly”

“That’s because you haven’t heard it yet,”

“y/n what’s wrong?”

“Patty, I really miss you, and I’ve dated so many guys trying to forget what it felt like to have you by my side, but none of them are you”

His face softens, “I really miss you too,”

You laugh slightly shaking your head, “Everything in me is saying to give you a second chance like you asked five months ago, but I’m scared”

“y/n, please just give me a chance, I know I can be the guy you deserve to be with.”

You're silent and go to put the brownies in the oven before turning to grab some water.

“Kelsie says that you did it once before so you’re just bound to do it all over again, so how do i know you’re for real this time”

Patty sighs, grabbing a towel from your pantry and starting to dry the dishes in the sink.

“I know you’re just trying to avoid my question,”

Patty sighs, putting the towel down and turning to look at you, “you really want the honest story?”

You nod, going back and sitting at the island.

Patty takes a deep and shaking breath before he starts, “Because ever since we were six years old and I saw you yell at Timmy Moore for pushing Olivia off of the swing, since we were eleven and I forced Ciara to become friends with you so I could go to your birthday party with her, since we were thirteen and we started becoming really good friends. y/n it’s always been you; it was you on the playground on September 6, 2007, it was you when Ashley Turner had a big crush on me and everyone told me to ask her out, it was you at the eighth grade dance, it was you when I left Millis High and went to Nobles, and it was you the whole time in Michigan, and fuck, it was you at Providence too. It’s never been about anyone else but you.”

You sit there, dumbfounded, at a loss for words, staring straight back at him. He only shakes his head and goes back to drying the dishes before saying, “I can leave if you want,”

“Please don’t go again,”

Patty looks at you, walking slowly over to where you were seated, “y/n, i never stopped loving you”

A lump gets lodged in your throat as you look back up at him, “me too, patty,”

He cups your face in his hands, “please, give me a second chance, I won’t let you down,”

Your heart practically melts at his touch, at his words, and you can’t help but stare at his lips, “if you mess up moynihan I’m having my dad come and beat you up”

Patty laughs, pressing his lips to yours for the first time in a year, “if i ever hurt you i will come over just so he can beat my ass,” he mumbles against your lips, pressing them to yours one more time as the oven timer separates you two.

“Looks like i should be staying for dessert too,” Patty smiles watching you go over and take the brownies out of the oven,

“You’re such an idiot,” you laugh,

“Yeah, an idiot that you love y/n. An idiot that you love,”

[pogueshomecoming]

she’s got a boyfriend - Kiara Carrera

Requested? Yes: @kiarasflowr said, “could i also request another kiaraxreader imagine, but make it kinda angsty with eventual fluff? like maybe the reader and kiara are best friends, and the reader’s with someone else but kiara loves her and eventually tells her? thank you” (I made this a bi!reader, I hope that’s okay! sorry this took so long 🥺)

fill out this survey to join my taglist(s), here’s my masterlist, and requests are open

warnings: mentions of verbal abuse? It’s not intense or anything. Some best friend jiara in there too! some crying

word count: 2.6k

++

Kiara hears a knock on her bedroom door. She’s nervous, she called you over because she finally came to terms with her feelings about you, and she wanted to tell you.

Her palms are sweaty as she opens the door. You’re standing on the other side with a wide grin on your face. “Okay, I know you called me here to tell me something, but I just got the best call.”

“Uh, go for it.” Kie takes a step back, releasing the breath she was holding. This is fine, it’ll give her a couple more minutes to prepare.

“Jason asked me out! We’re dating now! Isn’t that such good news?” You squeal, jumping up and down a little bit.

Kiara’s heart drops to her feet. She tries not to let her face fall, instead putting on a tight-lipped smile. You don’t seem to notice as you skip right past her and fall onto her bed, your hands folded in your chest like you’re in a movie. Kie thinks you look gorgeous, and that makes her chest ache.

“It’s great news, I’m so happy for you.” Kie follows, sitting down above your head so she can play with your hair that’s spread across her bed quilt.

“We’ve gone on a couple of dates, and I had so much fun that I was hoping he’d ask. I know he’s a kook so he won’t get along with the boys, but I can handle both. It’ll be fine, right? Maybe I just won’t be around as much.” You look up at her, and she shrugs.

“I wouldn’t date someone who hated my friends, but that’s on you, I guess.” Kiara mumbles, letting a little bit of her bitterness show.

Sure, Jason was one of the more mellow kooks, but still a kook, and wouldn’t understand the group.

“Can you just support me? Back me up if they boys say anything when I’m not around?” You reach over your head to grab her hands and squeeze them.

“Yeah, I guess I can do that.” Kie smiles, a small smile, but it’s enough for you to think she’s not upset.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Before Kiara can say anything, your phone starts ringing in your pocket.

“Mom? Hey, yeah... I’m at Kie’s. Why? Right now? Okay. I’ll be there.”

You hang up and groan. “My parents need me home, it’s urgent apparently. Can it wait?”

Kie gulps, “Yeah, it wasn’t a big deal anyway. I’ll see you tonight at John B’s?”

“Most likely.”

When you get to the door, you turn around to look at her once more. “Thanks Kie. I love you.”

“Any time. I love you too.” But Kie’s spirits aren’t as high as yours, because she means it in a different way than you do.

+

Kie pulls up to the chateau, a smile already on her face. Today’s the first day since you started dating the kook that all of the pogues would be back together again. There wasn’t really a plan, just to get on the HMS Pogue and see where the water takes you.

Her smile is immediately wiped away when she sees the three boys sitting around, and you’re nowhere to be found. Kiara looks around, confused.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“She called and said she wasn’t coming.” John B sighs. All of them missed having you around.

“She told you guys, and not me?” Kie looks around, scoffing.

“Y/N didn’t want you to be mad. Jason made last-minute plans and wanted to surprise her.” JJ chimes in.

“Fine, whatever. We can have a fun day without her, right?” The boys are surprised at her sudden anger.

“Kie, what’s going on?” Pope stands up, taking a couple of steps towards her.

What is going on? It’s not like she can just blurt out that she loves you. Kie is sad that you’d rather spend time with Jason than her. She’s sad that you can’t see how much you mean to her. But she’s angry that you’d blow off your other friends too, the ones that have been here for you at your absolute worst times.

“I’m just angry, you’re not angry? She’s blown me off three times this week, and this time she couldn’t tell me. So fuck her and fuck Jason. I don’t care anymore.”

Kiara wasn’t one to have an outburst like that, and she was a little mad at herself for making a scene. She turned her back on her friends and made her way down to the boat dock as she tried to blink away her tears.

“There’s something else going on here.” JJ whispers quietly to Pope and John B.

“What do you mean?” Pope whips his head around to look at JJ.

“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out, but we better go before she thinks we’re ditching her too.”

+

It’s almost four am. Kie is laying on the couch bed in the chateau, listening to the birds that are starting to chirp. She can almost hear John B snoring across the house.

A car pulls in, the sound of the tires against the gravel makes Kie sit up. The car door opens and shuts, so Kiara gets up and makes her way outside. She turns around to gently close the door behind her, making sure it doesn’t slam and wake up the boys.

When she turns back to the yard, you’re standing in front of her. You look like a mess. Your hair is frizzy and sticking out in random places, your eye bags are very prominent, and there’s still tears running down your face.

Without saying anything, you both run for each other, not stopping until you’re safely tucked into Kie’s arms.

“Jason cheated on me. He told me she was better than me, prettier than me, and he wants to be with her instead.” You sob, your body shaking makes Kie’s shake as well.

She swallows her anger, “He’s a fucking idiot if he thinks that. You are perfect the way you are. We don’t compare ourselves to others, right?”

This was something Kie always told you. Always. The moment she saw you were a bit insecure about being in a bathing suit so often, she started telling you how it should be. Kiara was the reason you’d grown to be confident.

“I-I know. I thought I was done with that, but I don’t know anymore. I’m upset. I thought things were going so well.” You cry, gripping Kie’s tank top in between your fingers.

“I know. I’m so sorry you feel this way. Let’s go inside, okay? Get some rest, and you’ll feel better tomorrow.”

You nod, letting Kie walk you inside.

Kie holds you for what feels like hours. Running her fingers through your hair, wiping your tears off of your face, and quietly consoling you as you fall asleep. But honestly? She’s never felt happier. Of course, she’s pissed at Jason for making you feel so terribly, but you’re finally here with her.

So she falls asleep, content with the fact that maybe she’s closer to you being hers than she thought.

-

Kiara yawns and stretches her arms, expecting to hit some part of your body as she does so, but she’s left with an empty mattress.

She sits up immediately. Noticing John B and JJ sitting at the table, eating cereal.

“Was Y/N here when you woke up?” Kie brushes her hair out of her face.

“Nope. She was here?” JJ talks with his mouth full.

“Yeah, showed up around four. Jason cheated on her, blamed it on her, told her the other girl was better and prettier. Where the fuck did she go?” Kiara stands up, adjusting her clothes.

“He did what?” Both boys have puffed out their chests, immediately becoming defensive of you.

Kie ignores them as she sees her phone peeking out from under the pillow. She picks it up, and it comes on with a new text from you. It was sent about an hour ago.

Jason called, said he wanted to talk. I think he wants to make it up to me. I’ll be fine, thank you for helping me last night.

“Shit!” Kiara throws her phone down. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

She turns her back to John B and JJ, her emotions overwhelming her as she begins to cry.

John B stands up, picking up Kie’s phone and then showing the message to JJ who’s right behind him.

Kie is looking out the window, just letting the tears roll when JJ wraps his arms around her from behind.

“I know you love her.” JJ’s heart hurts for her.

“Oh, Kie.” John B lets out a breath, the words barely being swallowed by it. He joins the group hug.

“It hurts so much. I just want her to know. I tried to tell her, but when I called her over, she told me Jason had asked her out. Fuck. He doesn’t even care about her!” Kiara turns around, pushing herself further into her best friend’s arms.

“Listening to her talk about how much she likes him, about how happy she is with him, is so hard. I can’t handle it anymore. Especially after this? She admitted yesterday that he treated her like shit.”

The three of them stand there for a while. JJ and John B try to make Kie feel better, but nothing seems to help. Kie feels like her chest has been ripped open, and you had no idea, that’s what made it worse.

“Listen, you’ve got to tell her.” John B is the first to pull away, taking one of Kie’s hands in his.

“Yeah, Kie. You can’t let yourself hurt like this anymore. She deserves better than him, but you deserve better than this. It’s going to hurt as long as you let it, right?” JJ rubs her shoulders.

“Okay, yeah, you’re right. I should.” Kie straightens, wiping her tears away and sighing.

“Do you want us to come with you?”

“No, I’ve gotta do this on my own.”

+

Jason is in the driveway of your house when Kie pulls in.

“What’s up, Kiara?”

“Fuck you, don’t ever come back here again.” Kie spits at him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I just came here to fuck her one more time. I’m done with her now.”

Before Kie can think, she throws a punch, hitting him square in the nose. “You’re fucking disgusting.”

She runs inside, clutching her fist but ignoring the pain.

“Y/N?” Kie knocks on the door and hears a quiet response on the other side.

You open the door, pretty much in the same shape she saw you in this morning. “Oh Kie, I’m so sorry. I was wrong. I was so wrong.”

You’re the first to reach out, pulling Kie in for a hug as you both stumble further into your room.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you. I couldn’t be. I have to tell you something.”

“Me too I-“Kie interrupts you.

“No, I want to go first this time. Last time I didn’t get to, and I missed my chance.”

You both take a deep breath, leaning back to look at each other.

“I love you.” Except, it’s not just Kie that said it. You said it at the same time.

“You do?” Again, at the same time. Then, you’re both laughing and crying at the same time.

“Oh my god. Are you kidding me?” Kie laughs harder. “Do you know how much stress you’ve put me through in the last few weeks?”

“I’m so sorry. Honestly, Jason isn’t even the one who asked me out. It was the other way around. I sort of thought you were interested for a while, but then I psyched myself out and tried to put myself in another relationship. It wasn’t working, clearly.”

“You’re an idiot, I swear. I was going to tell you how I felt the night you came over, but you told me he’d asked you out instead.”

“Shit, that makes me even more terrible.” You laugh, “If it hadn’t been for JJ, I wouldn’t have broken up with Jason earlier.”

Kie doesn’t care anymore. She doesn’t need any more details about what happened before now. The happiness she feels now is such a contrast to how she felt only a couple of hours ago, and it’s so good.

She closes the distance between you, grabbing your face and bringing your lips together. Neither of you had ever felt a kiss like this, it was electrical. Magical, even. Any words you could think of to describe one of those kisses in the movies, this was that.

“I have waited so long to do that.” Kiara gasps, feeling breathless.

You pull her by the wrists until the back of your knees hit the bed. Kie falls on top of you and leans up to kiss you again.

“Hey, you know what I just thought?” You wrap your arms around her waist as she settles in beside you.

“What?” You ask, looking into her eyes.

“Usually when someone tells you they love you for the first time, it’s followed by a dramatic but sweet list of all the things they love.” She smirks.

“Oh?” You laugh, “Okay, fine.”

She turns over to her side, propping her head on her hand so she can adequately look at you.

“I love all of your physical features. There’s no doubt about that. I love that since the day we met, you’ve made me feel like I was important to you. I love you because you stand next to me and support the causes that I support. You’ve been my best friend for so many years, and I have only dreamed of you being my girlfriend. But now, my dreams came true.” You’re blushing, almost harder than Kie is, and she’s the recipient of the compliments.

“That was so sweet my teeth could rot.” Kie teases you, kissing your nose. You roll your eyes.

“So, do I get one now?”

“Hmm... I think my list is too long to say. Plus, how could I beat that?” She winks at you, and you scoff.

“No fair.”

“That’s what you deserve after everything you did the last few weeks.”

You try to kiss her to make it up to her, but she pouts, dodging you a couple of times before she surprises you by pecking your forehead.

“Wait, did you say JJ?” Kie raises one eyebrow.

“Yeah, JJ was up when I got up this morning. He told me you’d been really upset, and he was trying to figure it out. I kind of put two and two together for him.”

You reach forward and play with a strand of her hair that has fallen in her face.

“I guess he did us a favor, but I don’t want to give him any credit.” Kie shakes her head, and you agree.

“Definitely not.”

++

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kiara carrera taglist: @jjfuckr , @newsiestrash123 , @millie-753 , @thatsonobx , @jjtheangel , @katherine097 , @obxkie