#call it honeymoon and the six kids we kidnapped

[harringroveera]

Steve: Then could we go on a trip to California together with our six nuggets?

[steele-soulmate]

Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 392, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, blood, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage)

WORDS: 1133

Quilted puffer vest, in DARK EMERALD GREEN, size M

Cute winter hat, scarf, gloves set, in GREEN SNOWFLAKE PATTERN

 Warm thermal underwear, in GREEN AND BLUE POLKA DOTTED PATTERN, size M

 Cute Hiking Boots for Women, in BLACK COLOR, size 6 ½

 Wool Socks in Cute Patterns, in GREEN STRIPES, size S/M

 Moisturizing ChapStick, in VANILLA BEAN, size 3 pack

 I Love SF Sunglasses, in RED HEART

 Winter Sweater, in DARK GREEN ARGILE and BRIGHT TURUIOSE BLUE and PALE EMERALD GREEN and SOFT BLACK and DEEP ROYAL BLUE, size M

 Fleece Lined Demin Jeans in SOFT BLACK, size S/M, QUANTITY 4

 SPF Sunscreen for Sports, in 120 SPF

 I nibbled at my lip as I browsed the Amazon wish list that Peter had made for me, titled HONEYMOON FOR MY SWEETHEART. He had carefully selected stylish and comfy articles of clothing for me to buy, choosing different hues of greens with bits of blues sprinkled in.

 I scrolled to the bottom of the list and promptly turned bright pink at the sexy lingerie set that he had added in a soft sweet green color. I also added bright poppy turquoise colored lace to my shopping basket and then went to check out.

 I checked out, turning to where Peter was doing his rehabilitating workouts with the babies as weights. Even now, he still couldn’t stand for long periods of time and was currently about to graduate from using a custom made cane tuned to his height and weight, but if there was one word to describe my husband’s work ethics, that word was determined.

 He hadn’t said it out loud, but I could tell that he was itching to get back into shape so that he could protect his family from those intending to do harm onto us. While I was appreciative of his role as the family protector, I understood that he had been gravely injured and that he now needed to fully heal before he could honestly do anything else.

 Peter had told me that Type O Negative was going to go on tour in November and that he wanted the entire family- myself, Baby Tommy, Daisy, Elizabeth, Elle, Katie and Jing- to accompany him. He had told me that the band manager was looking into hotels for the family to stay in while the band went on a six week tour of the east coast, to which my response had been that I would need to make arrangements for the girls to be homeschooled and for the house to be looked after in our absence.

 The Ratajczyk family patriarch had told me that the band would be hitting up to five cities a week, and that by the end of the tour, Type O Negative would’ve visited thirty three cities. He had given me a rundown of where our stops would be. I was so excited- Salem, Boston, Philadelphia, Charleston, Baltimore, Savannah, Myrtle Beach…

 “We are going to have so much fun,” I giggled the night before while we were curled up around each other. “Do you want me to call up Adam and ask him if the twins can come with?”

 Peter’s face glowed with happiness as he tugged me to lay on top of his burly chest as he peppered my face with kisses.

 “I love you.” KISS “I love you.” KISS “I love you.” KISS “I love you.” KISS “I love you.” KISS “I love you.” KISS “I love you.” KISS “I love you.” KISS

 “I love you, my handsome silver daddy,” I giggled, cuddling into him as a late night infestation of bedbugs swarmed the bed. “Hihi kids.”

 “Mamamamamama…” babbled Baby Tommy as he awkwardly crawled up to us before falling into my pillow and snuggling into the sleep aid. “Mamamamamama…”

 “To what do we owe this late night visit to?” Peter rumbled as he opened his arms for the kids to come in and tuck themselves into his side.

 “Little girl wouldn’t stop whining,” Elizabeth explained, tugging the adorable two year old girl and Elle into her side and rolling onto her back.

 “Poor little girl,” Peter crooned, allowing her to crawl up onto his as well. “Is your baby anxiety make it hard for you to sleep?”

 “Papa Pete,” mewled little girl as she settled down for sleep. “Papa Pete. Papa Pete. Papa Pete. Papa Pete. Papa Pete. Papa Pete. Papa Pete. Papa Pete.”

 “Little girl’s baby PTSD will pass soon enough,” I told the family as I began to gently stroke her chubby leg.

 “Oh!” Katie gasped, sitting up suddenly. “Before I forget…” She tore off out of the bedroom, leaving me and Peter to exchange glances. She returned about five minutes later, holding a neatly wrapped parcel, which she handed to her baby sister. “Happy birthday little girl, from Lizz Lizz and me!”

 The already spoiled birthday girl happily tore into her present, unwrapping a little cloth dollie. Much like Baby Tommy’s mini me, it was carefully hand crafted in light brown cotton fabric for the skin, with dark red yarn for hair and a petite white diaper and bright pink t-shirt.

 “Mee mee!” squealed little girl as she hugged the plush toy tight to her chest. “Mee mee!”

 “Liddle gurl?” Baby Tommy asked, holding up his own well-loved plush toy. “Baabee Tom Tom? Liddle gurl? Baabee Tom Tom?”

 I giggled as I watched the babies comparing their favorite toys before they settled down for bed, cooing as they held each other’s hands.

 “Sweet babies,” I cooed, settling myself down for the night. “Goodnight my love.”

 “Goodnight sweetheart,” he chuckled in a deep rumble.

 “See you in the morning.” I settled my ear against his chest and drifted off to sleep listening to my favorite sound.

 THUD THUMP

 THUD THUMP

 THUD THUMP

  TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

 If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

 PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@starchild0985​

[finiteuniverse13]

Clay Spenser; Son of Poseidon

Together with @jayhalsteadfan-2417, we made a wonderful AU spawned from me Really, Really liking the idea of Clay with a 7-foot trident.

Clay (& Percy)

Clay is a son of Poseidon – but was only claimed after the events of PJ&The Last Olympian.

Clay’s trident is stored in a bullet necklace because if riptide can be a pen and a dragon can be a suitcase, a sword can be a bullet necklace.

His sword is in a bracelet that Percy gave him and that Charles Beckendorf forged to make magical.

Clay and Percy doing hand to hand combat together.

Clay showing up at Sally’s apartment to see Percy and he is super tired and wants to nap.

Sally, Annabeth and Percy being the ones waiting at the end of deployment.

Clay calling Sally “mom”.

Clay interrogating Paul when he and Sally started dating.

Clay helping campers with their homework.

Clay helping with the Prophecies and giving tips for combat situations.

Jason Grace being mistaken for Clay's brother.

Campfire and Clay has a good singing voice.

Clay has a room in Sally’s apartment, and he stays over after deployment.

Percy and Sally showing up after Clay’s deployment, so he has someone there.

Clay calling Percy “little bro”.

Clay and Percy having movie nights and fall asleep on each other.

Clay and Percy fighting monsters together.

Someone picks on Percy and clay finds out when Percy comes home covered in Bruises and cuts.

“Percy what the hell happened; I need names now”.

Clay showing up at Percy’s school for a sibling day.

Clay causing a tornado.

Clay and Percy video chat while Clay is on deployment.

Poseidon having to be like "yeah so I also broke that 'no Big Three kids' rule that other time too" to Zeus

Clay showing up to help with Gaea.

Clay, showing up to battles with a celestial bronze sniper rifle: I'm not here to mess around!

Clay helping kids get to Lupa when he was stationed in Cali.

Clay comes back covered in gold dust.

Clay using a trident in a battle.

Percy meeting Ash Spencer

Sally meeting Ash Spenser. She'd kick his ass into the next century.

Percy staying over at Clay’s apartment.

Clay meeting Annabeth and ribbing Percy about her.

Clay is an overprotective older brother with Percy so when quests come up, he volunteers to help him out a bit.

Clay getting various SEAL teams to check up on quests to make sure they're all alright.

Clay being Percy’s guardian when Sally and Paul go on their honeymoon.

Clay’s in the arena at camp as soon as the sun comes up and trains for hours on end.

Cerberus (3 heads) is protective of Clay.

Clay at the campfire and is leading different songs around the fire.

A long op (like Mexico) in a monster-infested area and every couple of days Clay grabs his trident and sword and goes monster killing for a couple hours.

One time Clay was stressed out he accidentally flooded the dining hall.

Clay teaching Percy tricks and techniques with water manipulation and vice versa.

Clay finding out about Percy getting kidnapped and going missing.

Percy showing up at base covered in blood and dirt from a battle with a hydra.

Percy and Clay sword fighting in the base’s gym.

Poseidon showing up and both drop to their knees.

Percy and Clay going fishing with Jason. And a sea monster shows up and It Goes Down.

Clay runs out of monster bullets and instead starts going wild with his trident.

"I'm out of ammo! Going, uh, trident?" "Trident?" a Trident flies through the air and lands in the chest of an approaching monster, turning it to dust "Bravo Six has gone Trident, understood".

Whenever Clay is bored, he does fancy spins with his trident and scares everyone around him.

Clay looking calm but behind him a water fountain explodes.

Clay’s bunk is across from Percy’s at camp.

Clay’s bunk is a "borrowed" hammock from his cage on base.

Clay and Percy both love to kill the minotaur. They each have one of the horns of the same minotaur.

Clay’s hangs in his cage on base.

Clay runs out of bullets and just yeets a trident across the battlefield.

Clay wasn't claimed during his time at camp, so he basically adopted all the Hermes/unclaimed kids.

The Stroll twins go between him being their older brother or "Uncle Clay".

Clay graduating Green Team and going straight to Olympus to tell Poseidon.

Clay putting Ares kids in their place when he is at camp.

Bravo with Demigods

Blackburn is a son of Athena.

Blackburn and Clay having conversations in Ancient Greek.

Clay dragging Bravo to camp for a day.

Trent and Jason nearly pass out when they see the lava wall.

Nico would LOVE Cerberus.

Cerberus is a descendant of Cerberus.

Bravo watching a game of Capture the Flag.

Bravo and Blackjack

Clay comes in with a blue lunchbox and nobody makes fun of him in case they invoke Sally's wrath.

Clay having blue cookies in that lunchbox.

Clay swearing in Ancient Greek on the battlefield with Bravo.

Percy has a swimming competition and Bravo go and watch him.

DEVGRU adopting Percy as their little brother's little brother. Aka Little Brother2

Percy having a father-son relationship with Jason.

Jason and Ray giving Paul parenting tips.

Clay and Percy playing video games together.

Percy and Emma meeting and Percy is protective of her.

Clay Causing an earthquake with Bravo team.

Paul and Sally are busy and Jason shows up at Parent's Evening

Jason is a good uncle and is proud of Percy.

When Percy's dyslexia is bad he sends a photo of the textbook and Bravo sends a voice message of them reading it out loud.

Trent helping with his Health homework.

Percy asking ray and Jason for date ideas.

Percy showing up at base coved in blood and freaks out Bravo.

Trent would probably cry with joy when he discovers Ambrosia being a quick heal thing for Clay (and Blackburn, but that’s way less likely).

Brock would Lose His Mind meeting those metal guard dogs that Reyna has.

Bravo rocking up to the battles and helping.

Bravo meeting a monster on an op and Clay summons his weapons and just Goes To Town killing this monster.

Clay just YEETS a trident at some Tango and bravo has their jaws on the ground.

Percy and Clay basically doing adoptions for the orphaned half-bloods in the SEALs.

He introduces orphan half-bloods to various service members who can't/won't have babies but want children and/or want to adopt.

Percy Iris Messages Clay after a nightmare and Clay is out with Bravo and they all hear him crying.

Bravo can all see through the mist so they know about the monsters.

Bravo at Camp Half-Blood and hanging out in the Poseidon cabin for the nights, Percy has a nightmare and wakes them by accident.

Percy and Clay practice fight manoeuvres together and Bravo watches them train together.

Bravo leading “In the navy” at the campfire and trying not to crack up.

Younger campers asking for stories and bravo tell one's that are highly edited for security reasons.

Clay teaching Bravo campfire songs during deployment.

Bravo making tributes to various gods/goddesses of war/strategy before going on an op.

Blackburn and Clay racing up the lava wall.

Bravo stumble upon an entrance to hell and Clay is pulling them out.

Clay goes "Oh yeah, the Amazonians run Amazon" any nobody can tell if he's joking or not (he's serious)

Annabeth and Blackburn being Wholesome Sibling Goals.

Clay takes on a cyclops and gets smashed up a little bit and Bravo is panicking.

Bravo has monster-killing bullets for any situation that happens.

Sally bringing Bravo blue food for BBQs.

Clay comes to base one day covered in dust with a minotaur horn in hand going "You will not BELIEVE the day I'm having”.

Blackburn just hands him some Ambrosia because Clay got a little cut up.

“My baby brother started another war so you guys wanna help out?“

Trent getting a monster killing RPG

Metal has Ares' blessing.

Ares appears and everyone kneels except for Metal and Percy, Percy because he's Percy Jackson and Metal because they're bros.

Trent is Will’s mother’s brother.

Stuck between "MY NEPHEW IS A DEMIGOD? " and "YOU HAD A CHILD WITH A **GOD**????".

Blackburn and Clay sword fighting

Clay fighting Hercules in the arena while Bravo watches.

When Clay's sad Bravo does their best at blue pancakes to cheer him up (it normally end in disaster)

Brock loves O'Leary.

Percy having a group of uncles that have his back when he needs it.

Trent teaching Apollo kids medical procedures.

Bravo & Half-blood friendships:

Frank and Sonny

Annabeth and Lisa

Trent and Will

Mandy and Piper

Sonny and Leo

Lisa and Hazel

Metal and Clarisse

Ray and Chiron

Lisa and Reyna

Reyna and Jason

[shhh-no-ones-home]

noir 1/2 bucky barnes x vampire!reader

+++++++++

part 1 part 2

i had thought about making a part three with smut in it so if thats something you would like to see please let me know and ill finish it lol

Song: my name is human by highly suspect

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

I sat at the table across from James and watched as he looked around nervously. We had already ordered drinks but not much conversation had gone on yet.

"This isn't really your scene is it?"

I asked and he finally looked at me, brows raised like I'd caught him off guard.

"Uh, my uh, last date didn't go so well."

He said and I nodded.

"I'll drink to that."

I raised my glass to him before taking a drink. He let out a short laugh before looking away again.

"So, James, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself."

I said and he cleared his throat.

"Well for starters uh you can call me bucky, that's what my friends call me."

I nodded slowly, he seemed like he was reminiscing for a moment.

"Um I'm a hundred and six."

He said lightly and I laughed. He looked nervous again.

"If you're a hundred and six then so am I."

I quipped back and he seemed shocked.

"Right."

A nervous laugh. Cute. I took another drink.

"No seriously."

I said and he nodded.

"I'm not really one for mockery."

He said stoically and I shook my head.

"No, no, don't take it that way! I'm not either. I'm sorry it came off that way."

I said quickly and I could see him shift to rub his gloved hands together under the table.

"In all actuality 1917 was a pretty interesting year, if I'm doing my math correct."

He drew his brows.

"It was?"

He asked and I nodded.

"Well it's not every day America joins a world war, late to the party as usual but still. Don't get me wrong there was a lot that happened that year but that was probably the most memorable. My husband at the time was drafted that September."

He looked even more confused than he did earlier, his brows almost touching at this point if it weren't for the frown line between them.

"I know it's impolite to ask a woman her age but exactly how old are you?"

He asked quizzically and I looked up to think for a moment.

"Uh, this year on my actual birthday I will be two... Hundred and... Eight? I think?"

He laughed before taking a drink, finally smiling.

"Great."

He said before leaning over and pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

"This was fun."

He said, slapping a twenty on the table and moving to stand.

"Bucky wait!"

He paused and looked back at me.

"Can we talk... Somewhere a little more private?"

I asked and he sighed, looking to the ground.

"Fine."

I stood quickly to match him, grabbing my bag off the back of the chair and following him outside. When we made it out the door I saw him tense a little bit, glancing to me a few times as we lazed down the sidewalk.

"Are you cold?"

He asked, reaching for his jacket zipper and I stopped him.

"No, no, I'm perfect, thank you though. You probably need it more than me."

There was the confused look again.

"You're probably trying to figure me out aren't you?"

He sighed, half shaking his head as he looked to the ground ahead of us.

"I guess I'm just trying to figure out why you would lie to me? Forgive me for being blunt but that's at least how it seems, even after I told you I didn't like being mocked."

I laughed a little.

"Bucky I didn't lie to you. My situation is - complicated."

He looked over me again.

"I am two hundred and eight, that wasn't a lie. Or, at least I don't think it was, it's hard to remember after all these years the exact number. But I was born in 1815 in new York after my mother immigrated to the states. It was a rough childhood and an even rougher lifestyle growing into my teens."

We kept walking. He was listening intently but seemed like he still wasn't so sure about me.

"I was engaged to be married by my seventeenth birthday but the night before my wedding I was kidnapped."

He looked to me in surprise.

"I was placed as an indentured servant in a trading charter, seen by many of the soldiers stationed on the coast of the capitol. That went on for a while and when I had reached my twenty fifth birthday I had earned my freedom."

He motioned to a small cafe on the strip and I nodded, him holding the door as we stepped in, the warmth engulfing both of us.

"Do you want a drink?"

He asked and I nodded.

"How about I get this one."

I offered, ordering before him and paying after him. When we had gotten our drinks we took to a booth in the very back of the cafe.

"So, you were free..."

He started and I let out a short laugh.

"Nice to know you're listening."

I said and he raised his cup to me. I cleared my throat.

"I was free, finally. It felt like forever to get there. But by then I was seen as too old; too old to Mary, to have kids, to live a life on my own. Many assumed I was a widow at this point, even moving back to new York with as progressive as it was still didn't feel right. It didn't feel like home anymore. Until I met him."

He raised a brow and I smiled to myself.

"My first real love, the one who made me."

"No pressure."

He said and I laughed, taking his one hand in mine. His body tensed.

"Don't worry, he's been dead a while."

I said, letting him go and he nodded once.

"Right."

I side nodded.

"Well to make that long story short, he proposed to me after two weeks of courting, we got married the following spring, and on our honeymoon he revealed to me what he really was."

"A crime boss?"

Bucky said and I laughed, him finally loosening up a bit as he took another drink.

"I think that would've been easier to live with but no. And I ask that you please don't laugh at this next part but rather, hear me out."

He rested both his hands on either side of his cup and gave me his full attention.

"Cross my heart."

He said and I sighed.

"He revealed to me that he was undead, that he was a vampire of sorts."

When I looked to him he looked like he was going to crack.

"I'm serious."

I said light hearted, hitting his shoulder as he started laughing.

"He turned me before our trip back to the city."

He nodded, rubbing his eye as he settled down, the smile still prevalent on his features.

"Sure."

I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Now who's mocking who?"

I asked and he shook his head.

"It's just a little hard to believe is all. You seem like such a normal young woman. Maybe a history buff who digs this old man but still."

I snorted at his words, taking a drink.

"You are young in my eyes bucky, believe me."

He shook his head.

"Okay, this is what, 1840?"

"Forty two i think, but yeah."

He sent me a look.

"Let me just get back to the story okay?"

He held his hands up in defense.

"Please, by all means."

I playfully rolled my eyes.

"Thank you. Now we were home, I was a newby and was so hungry all the time. He was terrible at taming a new vampire and I did eat a few of our neighbors but we lived in a bad part of town so people didn't really question it much when residents went missing. But what I didn't realize is that we were being watched and one day when I came home from work I found my husband decapitated on our living room floor."

His eyes went wide.

"I cried like a maniac but when I had heard someone still in the apartment I attacked them. They told me they were assigned to kill me because I was too dangerous. I ended him and I've been on the run ever since. After that I was desperate to find new love again. I've had courtships over the years but the early 1900's were pretty rough. Every husband I ever had was drafted into a war that shouldn't have happened. And I don't fear for my life as much anymore since I've lived in almost every state in this stupid country,"

We both laughed a little at that.

"But I do think of it often. The later years, the eighties and nineties were much easier as far as life and lovers went but even then I couldn't stay with them long."

He seemed empathetic.

"Why not?"

"Well, many people don't employ the idea that you'll live longer than them, it's a losing game. And even those I was open with, they begged me to turn them but I always refused. It didn't seem worth it to put the hurt I felt onto anyone else. And I don't say this to scare you off bucky but I've lived, and I mean really lived. I had one husband murdered, three drafted and lost to war, and three divorces; two of which ended with my exs dying of natural causes shortly after getting into new relationships. One had a heart attack and the other passed during a surgery."

I paused, looking to the table as his eyes tried to study me.

"Ive heard about you, I've been to the Smithsonian exhibit and honestly it all seemed like a myth. But then your friend saw me and pushed you to ask me out I actually saw hope for the first time in a long time. It's not often I can find someone with as much... Uh, life experience."

He cleared his throat, looking away when I looked back up to him.

"I'm not perfect."

He said and I could feel my features soften.

"It's seems I've lived just as much but I don't know if I'd exactly call it living. I was an experiment, an assassin, and a broken man. I've got a troubled past and I'm trying to work through that. Hell I wasn't even sure I'd get through this date given how my last one went."

I half smiled at him, reaching for his hand again. He wasn't as hesitant as last time but was still tense as I took it away from his cup. I looked over his face before pulling the glove off, holding the cool metal against my palm and tracing the fingers of my other hand over it.

"I wasn't blipped, I saw the news, and I saw what was lost. And I think part of you got lost with it but at the end of the day you are trying to get better. You are a hero bucky, even if it doesn't feel like it."

I watched as his jaw clenched and tightened. Then he turned his hand over and held mine. It wasn't hard or uncomfortable but it was firm, like he meant it.

"I haven't had the luxury of opening up to many people in recent times but you feel different. And don't take this the wrong way but you do feel like home."

He said softly and I couldn't help the smile making its way to my lips.

"You wanna get out of here? Maybe go back to my place? The coffee is much better."

I joked and he smiled, intertwining our fingers.

"Yeah, I think id like that."

[thatgoblin]

Sacrifice

Chris Redfield x Sherry Birkin fic

Summary: Chris and Sherry were on their way through the Rocky Mountains to meet up with Leon for an upcoming mission, but when they stop for the night at a quaint inn, Chris disappears in the middle of the night. The leaves Sherry to find him and rescue him from whatever may have happened to him. All the while trying to figure out how to tell him how she feels about him.

Warnings: kidnapping, cults, human sacrifice, bad puns, violence, blood.

For @lyndibs

Chris always insisted on driving. It was his one thing he did that he wouldn't let anyone else do. She figured it was a Chris thing. Kind of like how she was always had her eggs sunny side up.

In this instance she didn't mind too much. It was the middle of the night and they'd been driving for three hours already after a 12 hour plane ride from Paris. It hadn't been as romantic as it seemed at first, chasing B.O.W.s rarely is. There had been a few moments that she was sure Chris was picking up on her feelings or even reciprocating them.

But they all ended up being about something else. Like when he grabbed her hand and ran with her down the street, it wasn't because he didn't want to lose her, she had fallen behind and was nearly crushed by a flying car thrown by a tyrant. Or when he pressed them against a wall and they were so close they could feel each other's heart beat. His lips had been right there, a small push up to her toes and they would have connected. It was because they were being followed and were giving the stalker the slip.

It seemed every time she got her hopes up, they were quickly dashed away by work.

Who knew B.O.W.s could be such cock-blocks.

"Hey, I'm pulling over here for the night," Chris said, pulling Sherry from her dozing. Opening her eyes, she take a deep breath and stretched in her seat as Chris pulled into a small inn that had a 24 hour light on as well as a Vacancy sign up.

"Alright. I'll message Leon to let him know we're stopping for the night," Sherry said as she worked her head side to side to loosen her muscles up a bit. She pulled out her phone to send the other agent a message that they were stopping for a bit and would be there in the morning. In true Leon fashion he sent back a thumbs up emoji.

Sliding from the SUV, Sherry saw Chris already had their over night bags and was walking towards the office door. Jogging ahead, she grabbed the door for him, getting a nod of thanks.

"Oh, hello!" The pair were greeted by a small, older lady that had long gray hair tied back into a bun on top of her head and big, round glasses perched on her nose. "I was wondering if we'd have guests this evening. How are you two, dearies?"

"Tired," Chris said, giving her a small smile. The man of few words wasn't without respect and courtesy, especially with a grandmother aged woman. "We'd like a room for the night please. We'll be leaving in the morning."

"Okie dokie," the woman said, shuffling over to a large, leather bound book. Sherry was sure the book was bigger than the woman, but the elderly lady was able to open it with a bit of grunting. "Alright, would you like a king or a queen bed? Our Honeymoon suite is available as well if you'd like to show off for your lady friend," she said, looking at Chris expectantly.

Maybe this was it. They had never shared a bed together, so maybe Sherry could get the courage to say something with them curled up against one another. Chris was large, but he could be so gentle and she was sure he would be an amazing snuggler.

"Two doubles actually, please" Chris said, shattering Sherry's fantasy of them sharing a bed.

Damn it.

"Two doubles it is. Ah yes. Here we go. Room 12. It's just up the stairs and to the left," the woman said as she marked down room 12 as occupied. Turning to look at the wall of keys, she picked out the room key to hand to Chris. "There you go. We ask that you pay in advance in case someone isn't here for check out. It is $100 for the night." Chris pulled out his wallet to pay her, giving the woman a crisp bill. "Thank you. If someone isn't here for when you're checking out, please drop the key in box by the stairs."

"Will do, thank you for you help," Sherry said as Chris picked up the bags again then lead the way up the stairs.

"Have a good night, you two. Sleep tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite!" The woman called after them as they walked up the stairs.

"You really didn't want to share the honeymoon suite with me?" Sherry asked, meaning to tease but also to feel Chris out a bit.

"Honeymoon suites are usually cheaply made and are least likely to be cleaned properly. I'd rather take my chances with a double," Chris said.

"Then why not a king or queen?" She asked as they walked down the hall towards their room.

"Because I know you're a cover hog and kick in your sleep," he said with a soft snort.

"True. She was really nice about trying to up sale us at least. I mean usually they try to add in all the bells and whistles and it gets aggressive. She seemed like a really sweet person," Sherry said.

"Just because someone's older, doesn't mean they're a good person," Chris said as he set down a bag to open their door.

"Well, I think she was adorable," Sherry said, closing and locking the door behind them.

"I'm gonna take a shower then head to bed. I suggest doing the same. We've got another four hours of driving tomorrow," Chris said as he opened his bag to pull clothes out.

"Tell me again why we couldn't get a flight to Colorado directly?" Sherry asked with a soft sigh as she pulled out her sleep clothes.

"Budget cuts," Chris said, giving her a small, playful smirk.

"Of course. Isn't that always the case?" She said with a giggle.

Chris nodded before he turned to head to the bathroom. Once the door was closed and the shower going, Sherry changed her clothes. She had grabbed a shower at the hotel they had been out when they first landed while Chris had been in meetings nonstop.

Changed into a tee shirt and sleep shorts, she was bent over and touching her toes when Chris walked out in just a towel. Standing up straight, she missed his faltering step as his eyes had gone right to her ass.

"Forgot my shorts," he mumbled, digging in his bag again.

"You're good," she said, working her shoulders a bit as a strange scent began to fill the room. It wasn't Chris' soaps. Those weren't that strong. "Hey, what's that smell?" She said, catching Chris's attention before he shut the bathroom door. It took a second before it really hit her, making her vision swim as she stumbled towards her bed, trying to grab something to steady her.

"Sherry!" Chris cried out as he tried to get to her, but he was over taken by the sweet smell too. He got to the side of her bed before falling to the floor with a groan.

"Chris," Sherry mumbled as she fell to the floor as well, everything going black.

When Sherry woke up, her head was throbbing and she didn't know what was happening. Rolling to her back, she slowly sat up. Still in their room, Sherry looked around before realizing she was alone.

"Chris!?" She cried, scrambling up despite the headache she had. He was no where to be found. Their things were still there, but no Chris. All that was left was the towel he'd been wearing, so where could he have gone? Changing into more appropriate clothes, she found that their guns were gone as well as their knives, but they always had back ups. Digging in her bag, she pulled the zipper on the secret compartment to get to her guns, hip holsters, and knife before digging in Chris' bag for his guns and shoulder holsters to put them all on.

If Chris was gone, but the towel was still there then he'd probably need some clothes and shoes. Grabbing his bag, she extended the strap to sling the bag over her head and shoulder. Now she just had to find Chris. Her bag was useless so she left it behind as she walked out the door to creep downstairs. The old lady was still there, humming to herself as she puttered around small area behind the check in counter.

Chris had been right, just because someone was a cute, old person didn't mean they were good.

Gun drawn, she went down the stairs as the woman had her back to her.

"Turn around!" She snapped. The older woman turned around to see Sherry with a gun aimed at her head. "Where is Chris? The man that was with me, where is he?"

"Oh that Dennis," the woman frowned, grumbling like some kid had been naughty and didn't have a gun pointed at her. "I told him to take care of you, but my son said the gas would keep you knocked out longer."

"Listen lady, where's my partner!" Sherry snapped, not wanting to let her guard down.

"He's already dead, don't get your panties in a wad," the woman said with a sigh, waving her off.

"Dead? What are you talking about?" Sherry asked, refusing to believe Chris was dead. If the hoards of the undead couldn't wipe out Chris Redfield, some old lady and her son certainly couldn't.

"He was perfect for the sacrifice," the woman said. "You know, usually we get those hipsters that are so lean and gamy, but your friend was perfect for our Lord's first meal on Earth."

"Enough talking, where is Chris?" Sherry demanded, cocking her gun.

"Dennis! See, I told you that you can't lolly gag around," the woman said, looking just past Sherry.

Spinning on her heel, Sherry saw a large behemoth of a man. He was big, bigger than Chris even. His eyes were hidden behind a mess of black, stringy hair that hung around his head in a curtain as he stomped towards her with clenched fists that looked like they could be used as sledge hammers.

"Damn it," she hissed, not hesitating to fire on him. Six rounds had him stumbling to the ground as he screamed in pain.

"Dennis! My baby!" The woman cried as she launched herself over the counter at Sherry. "I'll rip your pretty, blue eyes out!" She shrieked. The woman didn't get far though as Sherry wasn't a damsel in distress and knew how to fight just as well as Chris.

"I don't think so," Sherry grunted, kicking the woman away. She was quick to get on her, pinning her down with her knee. "Where's Chris!?"

"It's too late. Our Lord Aries is on his way and soon the Earth will be cast into his red dawn and blood will rain-" Sherry pistol whipped the babbling woman, knocking her out.

"Why do they always have to talk too much?" She sighed as she stood up. Going to the counter, she moved behind it to try and see if there were any clues there. Sure enough, a squeaky, loose board could be pulled up. Under it was a button and when Sherry pushed it, the back wall with the keys slid to the side to reveal a secret staircase.

Time was running out and she couldn't risk second guessing. So Sherry kept her gun at the ready as she ran down the stairs.

There were four sets of stairs to go down and she wondered what the hell she would find at the bottom. Her question was answered when she got to the last step to found an open door way. She could hear people chanting in the next room as she crept closer to peek around the corner.

Looking into the stone room with dark archways on either side, there were at least 15 people that she could count, all dressed in dark red robes. Chris was at the front of the room, tied and gagged while nude to a pillar with wood surrounding it.

Were they going to burn him alive!? There wasn't any time to guess their end game as she heard screaming coming from above her. It was now or never.

"Hey assholes!" She cried, rushing in with her guns pulled. "That's my partner you're about to barbeque and I'm the only one allowed to roast him!"

The people turned to see her, pulling up their own weapons of staffs and large knives, but that didn't matter. Sherry was a crack shot and even running, she was able to shoot most of them if they stayed to fight or came at her. A few tried to surprise attack her, but she was not having it.

The annoyance at herself for not saying anything to Chris about them when she had the chance as well as him skipping out on them getting a king sized bed together, combined with the fact the first time she saw him naked was right then when he was trussed up like some Faye Ray wannabe ready for the rescue, it was all pissing her off. Which made it all the more satisfying to slam her fist into some idiot's face to knock him on his ass.

Once they were all lying on the floor, groaning or bleeding or dead, she hopped up through the gasoline soaked wood to Chris.

Oh, he was very naked and try as she might, she couldn't help but have seen him. 'Good luck trying not to think of that later,' she thought to herself.

"Usually you're the one pulling me out of harms way," she said, pulling her knife to cut him free. "Also brought you presents." Keeping her eyes averted, she held out the bag of clothes for him.

"Thanks, Sherry," Chris said, grunting as he took the bag then quickly dressed. "You're a life saver."

"Don't mention it," she chirped. As he pulled on his shoulder holsters and checked his gun, he looked to her.

"Look, Sherry, uh about the bed thing-"

"You bitch!"

The two of them looked towards the door to see the elderly woman standing there with a rifle.

"You ruined everything! Everything! I will do it myself!" She screamed as she raised the gun and fired it at Chris.

"Chris, no!" Sherry cried, jumping in front of him to take the bullet to her back.

"Sherry!" Chris cried out as he caught her. He pulled her gun from her hand to shoot the older woman. She tried to fire first, but Chris was faster, sending a bullet between her eyes. "Sherry, talk to me, come on," he said, laying her down on her belly as blood soaked her shirt in the back.

"It's okay," Sherry wheezed as Chris began to panic. His hands were pressing to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. "Don't worry about me."

"Not happening. I'm always going to worry about you," he said, pulling his jacket off to help soak up blood. "We're gonna get out of here. I promise."

"Chris, stop. It doesn't matter," Sherry said, trying to reach for his hand.

"No, it does matter," Chris said, grabbing her hand with his bloody one in a tight grip. "You matter, Sher. Please, just hold on, okay?"

"You gotta let go of me, Chris," Sherry said, trying to take a deep a deep breath under the pressure of Chris pushing on her.

"I'm not letting you go! I can't! I won't!" He cried, refusing to let up. "Please, I can't lose you."

"Chris. . ." Sherry said softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said, kissing her hand. "I love you and I should have said it before now and acted like it."

"I love you, but you have to stop pressing on my back. I can't breathe," she said with a groan.

"What?" He said, frowning.

"Chris, I can heal myself, remember?" Sherry said, looking up at him as he stared down at her. "I'm fine, but you're squeezing the air out of me."

How the hell did he forget that?

"Oh, uh, sorry," he said, letting go of her. As he did, the bullet sat in the small of her back like it hadn't been inside her at all. "Well, uh. . ."

"I meant it," Sherry said as she pushed herself up to her knees in front of him. "What I said."

"Yeah?" Chris said, smiling softly. "I meant it too."

"Good, because otherwise this would have been awkward."

Sherry leaned in to kiss him, resting her hands on his chest. It wasn't hard or needy, but it was perfect for them. His lips were rough, needing balm as he pressed back against her fuller ones, cupping her face to return the affection.

"Let's get out of here and go to a Holiday Inn. I'm pretty sure there's no cults in those," Chris said after pulling away.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need a shower," Sherry said, making a face down at herself.

"I'll help if you want me to," he said, raising a brow.

"I'm sure you would," she said with a snort.

[seiya234]

and all the trees of the field will clap their hands, 1/?

oh hey look a new multi-chaptered fic. as always, I blame @marypsue.  Very important note! This particular chapter is rated R for some gentle descriptions of married middle aged people having sex in the woods. If you want to skip that, it is in the last third of the chapter and has mostly little to do with the plot. 

---

There are three ways this story begins: the short way, the medium way, and the long way.

—————————————

The short way was one day in the dying days of autumn, Stan got a call from Ford, who was on the Atlantic right now and headed towards New Jersey and

“Have the children ever been to New Jersey? To Glass Shard Beach?”

Stan adjusted the phone in the crook of his shoulder while he began to stir the bowl of Stancakes he was making, and coughed without covering his mouth.

“I think Mark took the twins when they were, fuck, six? The kids though? Never.”

“Well. I would love to see you.”

(In this universe do Stan and Ford share the ease and togetherness of other, more canon realms? No- their paths met for but a year or two before diverging again. But there was no anger, no bitterness, no sorrow in their parting, and a good relationship is still a good relationship.)

“Me too.” An idea hatched in Stan’s mind.

“When did you say you’d be in harbor again?”

---

“I have a proposition for you kiddo.”

“And I get frightened when you start using five dollar words old man.” Dipper laid down a three card book of jacks.

“Yeah yeah yeah. Look, this year’s been fucking trash right?”

Dipper thought about it. Then he thought about it again. The kids had turned 15....and then in the year following, Willow almost died, Henry became something Eldritch and Unknowable, Willow killed a grown woman, Henry was kidnapped, and they started teaching the kids how to drive.

Their 16th birthday party, while still having some of that patented Pines (mabel) Madness, was noticeably a little more subdued and scaled down than it probably would have been.

“Ford’s coming to Glass Shard right after Christmas, and since the kids don’t have to go back until middle of January, we were thinking-“

Stan laid down a run, a 4-5-6 of hearts off of Dipper’s 7-8-9. “Why don’t you and me take the kids to see Ford?”

Dipper’s brow furrowed. “You and me- what about Mabel and Henry?”

“I was thinking that maybe they’d like some time.” Stan raised an eyebrow. “Alone Dipper.”

Dipper raised his hands defensively. “Hey! I didn’t show up for their honeymoon or anything.”

“Yeah cookie for you. And when was the last time they had more than two days alone? Uninterrupted? By the kids or you?”

“Uh.” Dipper thought about it. Then he blushed. “Uh.” He drew a card.

“Exactly.” Stan laid down a book of aces, and discarded his last card, going out. “I’ll call Ford, you tell the kids.”

“What about Mabel and Henry?”

Stan snorted. “They said yes before I could finish.”

——————————————-

The long way this story begins is in 1866, when a callow and cruel young man with a trunk of grey clothes and a bloody saber inside landed in the newish state of Oregon to start a new life.

What is this young man’s name? I could tell you, but quite frankly he was a hateful piece of shit, so I’d rather not.

Here’s what you need to know about him.

He was the bosom friend of Nathaniel Northwest- they had fought side by side in the same regiment, and when the young man needed somewhere to run fast, it was Nathaniel who promised to smooth the way in return for working for him- he was strong, right? And Nathaniel knew he wasn’t adverse to rousting out some trash.

He was handsome. He towered over almost everyone in town, arms and legs draped with muscle, beautiful blonde hair, all of his teeth, and a smile that never reached his blue eyes.

And no one ever told him no. 

He was loved by girls who didn’t know better, and enjoyed by women who knew to keep him at arms’ length. He was offered many favors, and he took advantage of each and every one. 

A few times those favors ended with squalling, squealing piglets, red and angry and helpless. And the young poacher would take them from the homes of his cast off swains, promising to deliver the babe to a cousin’s farm the next county over, to a man running a tavern who needed the help, to a childless spinster he had heard about...

He took them to a pit he had in the forest, where he tossed them in and then covered them in dirt until the squealing stopped. 

Mayhap some one suspected. But he was handsome and the friend of the town founder.

And no one ever told him no. 

A fan of taking things out of season was our young man. In his hut he scalped the fur from foxes with dugs still full of milk and bear cubs that hadn’t even had the time to accumulate fat to use. The corpses of deer laid out back, the meat rotting on the corpse while the young man only desired the antlers for his home. The little corn he bothered to plant withered on the stalk, choked by weeds in an un-hoed field. 

It should go without saying of course that any pigs or cows or horses he found wandering, branded or not, soon became his cattle. For the Huntsman took what he pleased and did what he wanted. He ate and drank and killed and fucked 

And no one ever told him no. 

Until one day when he ran into the Corduroy girl in the woods. 

The men at the tavern told him to be wary of Etta Corduroy; she had a way of riling up their wives and giving them ideas. Nathaniel Northwest told him to be wary of Etta Corduroy; she had been talking with his loggers, giving them ideas. And his current swain told him to be wary of Etta Corduroy; for she spent far too much time alone in the woods.

(they called her a witch. and since this was gravity falls, they were right.)

But still when the young man saw her gathering mushrooms near his hut, he went to her. But still his hand strayed to her breasts when she rebuffed him. But still he grabbed her throat when she tried to scratch him, tried to run away.

Because no one ever told him no.

Not if they knew what was good for them. 

So it was to his great surprise that when Etta Corduroy managed to get a hand on his chest, and spat out some unknowable word, that the world itself told him no.

It felt like a horse kicked him in the chest. It felt like the blood in his veins suddenly turned into boiling steam. Every cut he had ever gotten on his skin suddenly opened up, every muscle in his body seized up going rock hard and rigid, and it was hard to breathe, it was hard to see, it was hard to do anything at all except to fall down on the ground and writhe in pain as Etta ran away. 

She ran away and she left him there. She left him there, bleeding and screaming and sobbing, covered in blood and spit, piss and tears, raining down from his body to feed the earth below him, the pit that he had tossed so many bodies in before. 

Perhaps in his final moments the cruel callow youth should have been scared. But what he was instead was incandescently angry, because these were his woods, his to do with what he wanted, his his HIS-

And no one, ever, ever, told him no.

It was as his breath was growing shallow, as a disconcerting amount of deer began to circle around him, that he noticed the bright yellow triangle floating above him.

“... what?”

“WHOOPSIE CHAMP! LOOKS LIKE THAT WITCH DID A NUMBER ON YOU!”

“that... that...that bitch.”

“PERSONALLY I THINK THERE’S BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH ORGANS THAN EXPLODE THEM BUT THAT’S NOT WHY I’M HERE.”

The Huntsman coughed up more blood. It launched up in the air before splattering all over his face.

“YEESH. GROSS. SO YEAH, CAN’T SAVE YOUR LIFE. BUT I CAN OFFER YOU SOMETHING EVEN BETTER!”

“What.... what would it cost me?”

“ONLY THE LOW LOW PRICE OF YOUR SOUL! BUT DON’T WORRY! AS LONG AS YOU D̀O ̡W͠H͝A͟T I̢ ͜ŚAY̢ , I’LL NEVER COME TO COLLECT!”

“What do you want?”

“I’VE GOT SOME BIG PLANS FOR THIS TOWN- NEVER YOU MIND WHAT- AND I COULD USE AN ENFORCER.”

“And-?”

“AND THESE WOODS WOULD BE YOURS BUCKO! YOURS TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO!”

No one ever told him no.

“Deal.”

--

Roadkill County, as it eventually became to be named, was always mostly forest. Even after a century and a half of logging, the forest remained, endured, survived.

But.

But there were always parts of the forest that were stripped bare.

There were parts of the forest where the Corduroys, noted by all and sundry to be the finest woodspeople in the state, refused to go.

There were parts of the forest where children would enter and never be seen again.

This is what Bill offered the Huntsman.

(for he was no longer the Callow Callous Youth, and he was certainly no longer Bruce Wilder)

The forest was the Huntsman’s to do with as he pleased, though he could only be corporeal during the light of the full moon-

(A CONVIENENT PLOT HOLE, I KNOW KID, BUT LOOK, YOU’RE DEAD, WORK WITH ME HERE)

But during that time he could hunt and do as he pleased. Meat could pass his lips, his arrows would hit true, and any person that crossed his path was his to toy and play with until they broke. 

And to help him do his bidding....and to amuse him when he was bored and intangible, the Huntsman was gifted with the souls of the pit, tiny mewling creatures finally turned to some purpose-

(SO THESE ARE YOUR BASIC LEVEL GHOULS POWERED BY FORSAKEN CHILDREN; I ADJUSTED THE SETTINGS SO YOU CAN PLAY WITH WHAT THEY CAN DO. SERIOUSLY, GO NUTS.)

-for they were his hounds in the hunt, they could harrow and harm his prey and in turn he had something he could hunt on the nights when the full moon was absent. 

There was only one hard rule, and that was he could never, ever leave the forest that surrounded Gravity Falls.

(”Why..?” His vision was fading but before whatever happened, he just... he just needed to know-

“YOU KNOW I DON’T NORMALLY ANSWER QUESTIONS FOR FREE,” the triangle said, twirling a cane that came out of nowhere. “BUT LETS JUST SAY THERE’S THINGS IN THIS FOREST THAT COULD INTERFERE WITH MY PLANS. AND I THINK YOU’LL DO SOME GOOD WORK HERE KID. JUST DO AS I SAY AND N̤̪̦̖̥͡ͅͅE͏͖̹̫̬V̬̼̼Ḛ̛̳͓R̯̥͕͖̬ ͉̝̼̟̮͢L͔̪E̝̳͔͟A̻̟͕̝̥̖͞V̶͈̗E̛̝.”

Well. It still seemed like he was coming out on top here.)

However, eventually the thrill of the chase paled, eventually rumors of his presence spread and both the human and non-human inhabitants of Gravity Falls learned to avoid the forest at the full moon. 

He turned to playing with his Beasts, growing crueler and crueler the more his boredom grew.

Yet despite his ennui, there was one other thing that kept the Huntsman in the forest, deal or no deal. For this is what the callous young man had found out after he had died.

There was no heaven.

There was no hell.

There was just life, endless, endless, endless rounds of life.

(some would marvel at the endless chances, endless possibilities for beauty and love and good food and song but we have already established that the callous young man was not that kind of person) 

However.

Within this cycle were also the times in between.

The times where potentially very very angry people would be waiting for you. 

So he waited, and hunted, and feasted, and waited.

And one day Bill was gone, and the deal was off, and that should have been it for the Huntsman but instead of dissipating he only felt himself grow more powerful. 

For the Huntsman had so long existed independent of Bill’s plans (indeed he never saw the triangle again), had established over a century of terror a reputation, that the knowledge of his story and the raw power of the Transcendence released some of the bonds on him and his Beasts. No longer were they bound by the light of the full moon. Though they still could not leave the forest, now his prey was limitless.

He had gotten perhaps a week or two of finally being able to live again when he was cornered by the Multibear. 

“I always wanted to fell you,” the Huntsman said, his Beasts snapping and slavering at his heels. 

The Multibear did not leap to his bait. “This is your warning Huntsman.”

“Warning?” The Huntsman lifted his arm, to show his newest acquisition, a coat of red caps, some still crusted with dried blood. “I am tireless. I am deathless. And you are my prey. What warning could you possibly give me?”

“I am warning you now; refrain from killing the sentient creatures of this forest, focus your sick attentions on the deer and rabbits.”

“Or else what?”

One of the Multibear’s heads smirked. “Surely, you are aware that a new demon arose in Bill’s place?”

The Huntsman rolled his eyes. “And what of it? He’s but a mere stripling. And he and his sister have never run into me, never heard of my story.”

“Have you considered that what Bill gave you, Alcor could take away?”

“That is just wishful thinking.”

The Multibear turned- turned! exposing his back!- away, with one head saying over his shoulder, “Look inside of yourself. Dwell. And you will find that it is the truth.”

The Huntsman paused. He stood still for a solid minute.

Then the blood drained from his face.

Okay. 

Okay, he could handle this. 

He just needed to wait until Alcor stopped living in Gravity Falls, moved out of that shack that the Mad Man built and the Con Man ran.

(the Con Man had once shot the cap off of his head as he had approached his shack. The Huntsman swore vengeance... he was just going to get to it. Eventually.)

The Huntsman waited. And waited. And waited.

For no one ever told him no. 

Until one day one of his Beasts brought him news of a deal it had overheard. 

A deal whereupon Alcor would be gone for two weeks, sworn by his power and blood to do so. 

The Huntsman, who was still obviously a colossal piece of shit, had unfortunately learned patience. And cunning. And dark magic.

He had a plan to make the forest truly his. A plan to make Gravity Falls his.

And from there well.

With his power, and the power he hoped to take, who knew where a bright, callous and callow youth could go from here? 

---

The medium way this story begins is on day three of the Super Awesome Second Honeymoon No Kid Vacation. 

Days one and two were scrubbing the house top to bottom. It was boring but the kids and Stan and Dipper were going to be gone for two weeks. Two! Weeks!!! Mabel thought it best to get the boring stuff out of the way first, to best optimize their time for smoochin, shenanigans, and sparkle spaghetti night.

So Henry lifted Mabel up so she could clean the gutters, and he mopped the whole house. She scrubbed the tubs and he fixed the basement door. They trimmed some tree limbs, changed the oil in the cars, put the zipline up for the winter, and all the other little things that needed doing but got lost in the hustle of raising three teenagers and running a small business and brokering peace amongst the gnome clans.

(Mabel could have asked for Dipper to do any or all of this for a price. And while some of it was a reluctance to rely on your magic brother for everything, more of it was just plain forgetting in the day to day of life.) 

But now the chores were done, and Mabel could spring her plan into action!

Step one!

“Heyyyyy Henry.... can you put this blindfold on please?”

Henry put down his newspaper-

(oof the things she loved most about him was his hands. They were almost comically oversized, even for a man as tall as him. Beautiful pianist fingers, a long, elegant palm, and between the two a truly astounding dexterity.)

-and asked, “How long will I have to have it on?”

Mabel thought about where step two was. “Uh, twenty five to thirty minutes while we walk?”

“Can we maybe put it on right before the surprise?”

Okay that was fair. And walking through the woods blindfolded was probably a bad idea? Yeah, it probably was.

“Okay!”

Step two! 

She had Henry kneel down so that she could actually put the blindfold on. She shivered as he was for once shorter than her, shivered as her hands tied the thick scarf around his eyes and her hips bumped into his back. Shivered as she helped him back up and took his hand. 

She could not wait for this.

Step three! 

Initially she was going to use their regular tent but Mabel was worried that if she had Henry kneel down it would give the game away so she had prepped a small pavilion tent instead, with the flap already open.

“Are we almost ready?” Henry asked.

“Mmmm hmmm,” Mabel answered, quickly taking off her sweater and skirt. She had spent a whole month crocheting lingerie for this. 

She was about to tell him to take off the blindfold, and then she paused.

She put back on her skirt, and instead took her husband into a gentle hug.

“You can take it off now.”

He took it off.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“This is just.... outside?”

Mabel grinned. “I’ve always wanted to.”

Her grin faltered. “If that’s... if that’s okay? 

There was a pause. And then Henry lifted her up, making her squeak like every time he did that. He brought his mouth to hers. And that was all the answer she needed.

Step four! 

What Mabel had dreamed about, from the moment her husband had become born again into someone new, someone not quite human, was this moment. She wanted him to pin her down with not only his arms (stronger, far stronger than they used to be) but with vines that sprang from the ground. She wanted to grab onto his antlers as she rode him into ecstasy. She wanted the earth to bloom around him, to trail her finger up and down his skin and see mushrooms bloom from her fingertips. 

What happened instead was that they had some very pleasant but very normal sex, except it was on the ground and the ground was kind of hard. 

She...

Well poop Mabel. Way to go and Mabel it up all over again. 

They both were still sweaty and panty, but Mabel reached out to begin putting her clothes back on; this... didn’t go quite like she expected. 

“Thank you honey. That was a lot of fun,” Mabel said, super casually and hopefully not betraying the turmoil roiling within her.

Henry smiled. “Of course.”

(he hoped that Mabel hadn’t noticed that the Woodsman had almost come out once or twice; it was being outside and he wanted to break free, to test his strength against hers, to grow new life in these woods and no-) 

They finished getting dressed and stepped out of the tent and

Mabel froze.

“Mabel?”

Inwardly, Mabel began to curse at herself for not bringing her bat. 

“Henry...” She looked around at the heavy fog around them both, sensed the deep knowledge that they were far from where she had led them, knew to her bone that the path home was concealed.

“I think I goofed.” 

[jadetea-writing]

VN Snippet #1

Little Jules Optima

(AN: Based on an earlier post)

"Oof!"

A little girl collides with Lorelei's leg—her leg won, unfortunately. She reaches down to help the kid stand up, and she's ambushed with the brightest smile she's ever seen.

"Oh my gosh! You're here!" the little girl looks at Lorelei with wonder, "Da–Father mentioned you were coming to visit, but you're really here!"

"Uh…" Lorelei looks at her girlfriend for help.

"Hey kiddo, I'm Scarlet, and this is–"

"Lorelei Linden!" the brunette cheers, "You're my favorite hero!"

Lorelei stifles a laugh at Scarlet's pout. Her girlfriend is usually the one dealing with cameras and fans, so she's accustomed to a certain level of attention.

"Yeah, that's me. I'm honored," Lorelei smiles, "What's your name?"

"I'm Juliette! But you can call me Jules!" the gi—Juliette gestures for Lorelei to lean closer, and she whispers, "I only let the people I like call me that."

"Juliette?" Scarlet suddenly perks up, "As in Juliette Optima?"

"Mhm," Juliette absentmindedly nods in Scarlet's direction, her attention focused on her idol, "Lorelei, do you want to see something cool?"

Lorelei has a silent conversation with Scarlet that ends with the redhead rolling her eyes.

"Sure, Jules, that sounds like fun," Lorelei laughs at how wide Juliette's eyes become when she uses the nickname, "It has to be quick though. We're supposed to be meeting your parents soon."

"I'll stay here, sweetie," Scarlet says, "Try not to keep the bosses waiting."

Juliette is already tugging at Lorelei's hand, "Let's go! Let's go!"

- - -

Lorelei expects Juliette's "something cool" to be a new toy or a game, or even an arts and crafts project. It's been a long time since kindergarten, but she's pretty sure that's the sort of thing kids bring for show-and-tell.

It turns out to be none of those.

Juliette is definitely an Optima. The girl can't be older than six or seven, but she's already dipping her feet into robotics.

"–and I call this one Alfred," Juliette points at a robot on treads, "Because he gets me snacks."

She types a few lines on her keyboard, and the little robot wheels away. It comes back a few minutes later holding a bag of chips in one gripper and a can of soda in the other.

Juliette looks at Lorelei expectantly, "Do you like him? He's still a little buggy sometimes and he only–"

"Alfred is very cool," Lorelei interrupts Juliette—the girl can talk, and though it's cute, most of what she's saying goes over Lorelei's head, "Is he your favorite?"

Juliette looks pleased at the compliment, but then she frowns and covers the side of her mouth to whisper, "No, but don't tell him that. He works really hard."

Juliette types on her keyboard again, and the little robot zooms away.

"Okay, I sent him home," Juliette swings her legs under her seat, "Do you want to see another?

"Sure, do you have a favorite?" Lorelei isn't usually one to spend time with children, but Juliette is quickly wriggling her way towards Lorelei's heart.

Juliette is not what Lorelei expected. She assumed the little heiress would be a typical rich kid—spoiled, sheltered, maybe even self-centered—but she's happy to find herself mistaken.

"Oooh, I dunno. I like all my bots a lot!" Juliette hums while she thinks. Lorelei knows the instant Juliette's mind is made up because the young girl bounces in excitement, "Oh! Do you want to see my newest bot?"

Her voice drops to a hush, "Can you keep a secret?"

"That depends," Juliette's face falls, "Do your parents know?"

The girl brightens, "Oh, yeah! I show them everything!"

"Then sure, as long as it's not hurting anybody."

Juliette shakes her head so hard Lorelei worries it's going to fly off, "Nuh uh! No way! My bots are good bots! Daddy just wants me to keep my powers a secret."

Oh. Lorelei's heart clenches. For someone so young to have powers…she hopes Juliette is part of the minority that get powers randomly. If she isn't, and her dad wants her to keep it a secret…

"Hey, Jules? Can I ask you something? "

"Sure! You can ask me lots of somethings!"

Juliette doesn't seem to notice Lorelei's concern, "How did you get your powers?"

Lorelei regrets the words the moment they leave her mouth. Juliette's entire body droops, and her face looks too somber for someone her age.

"Um. There were some bad guys who took me away," Juliette stares at the ground for a few seconds, then returns to her earlier cheer, "But my powers helped me get away and Daddy made sure the bad men went to jail."

Lorelei is only partly relieved, but at least it's not the worst case scenario. She examines Juliette, and while the little girl perked up again, Lorelei can see she brought up bad memories.

She takes a deep breath. This isn't really her thing, but…

"Hey Jules, do you want a hug?"

Juliette practically launches herself off her computer chair, but she's light enough that Lorelei can hold her pretty easily. The girl wraps her arms around Lorelei's neck and squeezes tight. After a minute, it doesn't seem like Juliette plans on letting go, so Lorelei takes a seat.

"How about I show you something cool?" Lorelei offers.

"Like what?"

"Well you see, I have this pet rock. His name is Flint…"

- - -

Weeks later, Scarlet comes back from a meeting with a glint in her eyes.

She sits in Lorelei's lap, "Hey babe, do you remember the Optima kid?"

"Jules?" Lorelei pauses her sketching, "Yeah. How's she doing?"

Scarlet bursts into laughter.

"What?" Lorelei pouts, "What's so funny?"

"It seems I've got some competition," Scarlet teases, "Jack thinks the kid has a crush on you."

Lorelei blushes, "Aw c'mon, you saw her. She's just a big fan. You've got lots of those."

"Yeah, but none of my fans want to build a robot to feed my pet rock."

"Did she really?!"

"She's been bugging Jack to bring her to work so she can give it to you," Scarlet smirks, "Should I be worried you'll fall for her fancy toys?"

Lorelei rolls her eyes, "You're not going to let me live this down, are you?"

"Never."

- - -

MANY YEARS LATER…

"I forgot I had this one saved," Lorelei shyly holds her phone out for people to see.

Dahlia tilts her head, "What are you holding?"

Lorelei smiles, "That was my pet rock. His name was–"

"Flint!" Juliette shouts excitedly.

Everyone turns to look at her curiously, Lorelei especially, "How did you…?"

Juliette laughs nervously, "I just thought that would be a punny name!"

No one buys it, but the conversation moves on—the entire thing is completely forgotten by the time Juliette has to choke down a spoonful of cinnamon.

- - -

"Yeah, our honeymoon," Andi says as she tugs her girlfriend away, "By-the-way-we-just-got-married byee!"

The (newly wed?) couple rushes out the door before anyone can respond. The surprise doesn't last long—Andi is involved, after all—and casual conversation starts up as the remaining members catch up.

A throat clears behind Lorelei, and she turns around to see Juliette holding something behind her back.

"Juliette?"

"Ha. Yeah, that's my name. Yup," the blonde shuffles in place, "But uh…if you want, you can call me Jules."

Lorelei's eyes widen. There's no way.

"Also, I've been meaning to give this to you for a while," Juliette holds out a box, "I called him Mason, but you can rename him if you want."

Lorelei accepts the gift, "Should I open it now?"

"If you want?" Juliette plays with her hair, "But I included documentation in the box if you just want instructions."

Lorelei sets the box down on a table and carefully opens it. Inside is a small robot that looks like Alfred, only the technology is several generations newer. There's a small remote and a booklet tucked inside as well.

"I…uh. I kept working on it. Whenever I got frustrated with other projects, I'd add upgrades or tweaks," Juliette shrugs, "It's still the original, in a Ship of Theseus kind of way."

Lorelei looks back and forth between Juliette and the robot. There's no room for denial, she's definitely–

"Little Jules Optima?" Lorelei says in a hushed tone, "But you–and we–you're…"

A familiar somber expression crosses Juliette's face.

"Oh, Jules," Lorelei understands—probably better than anyone else can, "Do you want a hug?"

It's a little more difficult this time around, but Lorelei manages to catch Juliette when the blonde leaps towards her.

- - -

(AN: The discussion about Juliette's powers involves one of my hcs—that powers tend to arise in stressful situations, and that Juliette got hers when she was kidnapped at a young age. Whether this is a shipfic or platonic is up to your interpretation. Juliette definitely had a crush as a kid, though.)

If you enjoyed this, you might like my other works on AO3, including my current project Revelations in the Dark—a Bat/Cat/MC rewrite of canon. I've just completed the first arc, which covers the events of S1 for both routes.

[allivegottodoislove]

I Love You Madly

hey folks! sorry about the like, six week break. school, once again, got crazy and hectic. i’m here with an update, granted it isn’t the song remains the same, but i’ve really been feeling the deaky love lately, so i wanted to finish up the second chapter!

also to serve as a small sort of update, unless my life literally falls about, i promise to have the next chapter of tsrts up next friday! that being said, it’s the last ‘planned’ chapter i have for the story (it’s not the end of the story by any means though!) so i might work on a few other things while i try to figure out how and what i wanna do next (i have a TON of ideas, i just gotta figure out how to get there!) that being said, i’m also updating the blog a little bit. i’ve started writing summaries for each individual chapter of every story, and i’m gonna start writing up descriptions of other stories i have in the works so keep an eye out for that! 

as always, any feedback is well appreciated! i’d love to take ideas/requests for anything you guys might really want to read!

and without further delay, the second chapter of i love you madly! it’s a bit long, and it gets a bit nsfw at the end!

     The drive into the countryside was pleasant. For the most part, they were completely silent. They felt no need to talk at the moment. All the excitement from the wedding and the people that had surrounded them had been just too much. They needed their time to recharge. There was no better way than in each other's company, though.

     The car ride would last for just a little over an hour. For their honeymoon, they had opted for a little cottage out in the countryside. All Ava had wanted was to be away from all the people, away from all the noise. John couldn't have agreed faster.

     Freddie, naturally, had pushed for something bigger. Nothing would but the best and the grandest would be enough for his friends. He practically had planned the whole thing out. Ava had caved rather quickly before just suggesting they scrap the whole idea. After all, they still had two children to care for.

     John had refused to budge from where he was. It was to be their honeymoon; it would be what they wanted to do. John had pushed, then, for Ava to allow it. In his own mind, it wouldn't be right at all to have a marriage without their own private celebrations.

     Eliza had volunteered to watch the children when she had heard of the dilemma. Ava had been hesitant to yes to that. It wasn't like she loved Eliza. Ava absolutely adored the other woman. She really did. Leaving her two children behind in the Taylor household scared the crap out of her. Would she be getting the kids she left behind back?

     Her fears took a mental backseat as she looked out the window. Ava had always loved the countryside. Returning to it always felt like she was returning home. The wilderness in front of her was particularly breathtaking. John had done all the planning for the honeymoon; Ava understood why now.

     They needed this break from reality, she was quickly realizing. How tired she had felt the last few months was finally catching up to her. Neither of them had time to unwind. They never seemed to. Between the band and the kids, they couldn't afford it. With the stress of the wedding on top of all that? Ava was now more than excited for a small break from her crazy life.

     This was to be their paradise, she realized. Only John could have known exactly what she, what they would need. John barked the car and smiled at her before getting out to open the door for her.

     "Why, thank you," she said with a grin. John just chuckled before he opened the trunk to grab their luggage.

     "Wait here for me, okay?" He said as he disappeared into the cottage with his hands filled of luggage. They didn't have the most in the world. It just two weeks. Ava and John did their best to try and pack lightly, and had gotten relatively good at it. That didn't mean it wasn't too much for a single man to carry in.

     "John, darling," Ava started when he returned for the rest, "let me help you."

     "Absolutely not, this is a man's work," he said. There was a teasing smile on his face. Ava still felt her blood boil just a tad.

     "now, John Deacon, you know absolutely better than that. You know I'm more than-"

     "And Mrs. Ava Deacon, you're pregnant. No heaving lifting for my beautiful, blushing bride," he said. Her face flushed a little red. With the three remaining suitcases in his hand, he kissed her cheek and walked into the cottage.

     Ava knew better than to push him now. "Thank you darling," he said with a smile once he was back by her side. There were some things that just weren't arguing over, especially with him. It wasn't often she wanted to call him a stubborn hothead. Typically, she would reserve that for Brian. Sometimes, John's moods could topple anything Brian had ever thrown at her.

     "C'mon, let me show you to the garden." John grabbed her hand as they walked. "It's simply stunning. Nothing compared to you, but still," he said. She swatted at his shoulder lightly, giggling as she did so.

     What he brought her to was hardly a garden. That title didn't do it enough justice. The immediate ground around them seem to just be one endless field. Far off in the distance seemed to be an unending forest.

     "We'll have to go exploring a bit more tomorrow," he said. Ava just nodded. For all these to be theirs for the next two weeks? Had she died and gone to heaven?

     For the next few moments, they walked in the backyard silently. Silence filled a lot of their time. That was, when their two children didn't need their immediate help on something dire. John guided her to a small hill, just off to the side, with a tree in the center of it.

     Off on the horizon, the sun was just beginning to really set. The world felt at peace around them. It had stopped spinning; at least, it had stopped spinning for the both of them. Everything they wanted in their lives was laid out in front of them. They intended to enjoy it, thoroughly, or it would kill them.

     John sat on the edge of the hill with a smile. "Come, sit down with me a while. When was the last time we managed to watch the sun set in peace?" He asked with a knowing smirk.

     "Well, if you just give a moment to think about that," she said. He put her finger to her lips and tapped it a few times. "If my memory serves me right, which it might not, I do believe it was the night you proposed to me," she said. Ava began to sit down next to him. Before she knew it, there were hands pulling her into John's lap.

     "You devil!" She teased. His arms wrapped around her and he placed his hands atop her belly.

     "I sure hope this is okay now. I don't think Roger's out there, lurking in the trees, to catch us in such a compromising position." Ava couldn't help but laugh at what he said.

     "No one around for miles to catch us, even the press," he continued to tease. Ava just leaned back as she leaned her had back against him. Her hands moved to rest on top of his. It just felt right. Things were falling into place. The universe had aligned to create the perfect moment.

     "Of course it's fine darling," she said. "I just didn't want them to know before the honeymoon, that's all. You know how Eliza can get," she said with a roll of her eyes.

     "I'm afraid I haven't an idea of what you mean. I've never seen Eliza have a break down because you went pee for too long," he laughed.

     "Oh shush, she does her best." Ava swatted his hand lightly. "They never would have let us gone on it. Or, they would have demanded to come, to watch over us like we're children." She rolled her eyes.

     "Again, I think we're safe now. I doubt they've stalked out this far. Fred isn't that mad," he laughed. "Besides, she would have no reason to worry about your pregnancy, you've done it before."

     Following his line of logic, John was right, in theory. Eliza did only fuss over her when it was something knew. Like, the peeing incident, Ava had let it sleep that she had almost been kidnapped on the tube once. But, John didn't know the whole truth of her first pregnancy.

     Ava, had one point, had made the mistake of telling Eliza how awful her first pregnancy had been. From that moment on, her friend had always sworn she would be right by her side, if she ever chose to have another child. This was all before John. Eliza was never one to back down from her word.

     "Of course, she would have no reason to worry," she said with a soft smile. A lie, a harmless one. She wasn't ready to recount her first pregnancy. Not to John, not yet. It was one of the few secrets she had ever kept from him. Her pregnancy had been physically brutal. Toward the end, even the doctors thought she might die.

     Telling him that now would only worry him. Besides, she was younger than. Her body hadn't been ready to carry a child to term; she'd only been a teenager. That was behind her. Her ex, Cael's father, certainly hadn't helped with the situation.

     It didn't feel good to hide anything from John. Whenever she did, she felt a knot in her stomach until it came out. The only reason Eliza knew was she had gotten plastered one night and spilled her beans. That wasn't an option now, and she would have to tell him at some point. It would come up in the doctor's appointments.

     "This is beautiful," she said. It was a way to force herself out of her thoughts. Force herself into the situation with John. Over the years, she had gotten better at it. Allowing herself to wallow wouldn't get her anywhere. It had never in the past. It would only hurt her recovery.

    The sky was a vibrant shade of red. If she didn't know better, she would say it was the end of the world. But it was too peaceful for that. She still felt too worried about what she would have to tell John for the world to end.

    Telling John she was pregnant had been anxiety inducing enough. She knew he wouldn't react like Cael's father had, but… That fear would always hang over her. John didn't understand what was there; all John knew was that something was there.

    When she turned to kiss him, she couldn't help but notice the glow painted on his face. His smile was unlike anything else. It was like this was his firstborn. Like he had never ever gone through this and didn't know what laid ahead. Sure, Ava loved her son and would endure it all again to keep him in her life. But, it hadn't been a pretty process to get to.

    "What's get you so happy, Mister? First kid and all?" She asked. John just chuckled at that. "Surely you've seen the disaster I'm to become! With the pregnancy and the morning sickness and the swollen ankles and the whole process of childbirth. It's a lovely nine-month process."

    John placed a kiss to the top of her head. "I have seen the mess," he said with a laugh. "But not with you. Nothing with you could ever be anything but a lovable mess."

    "Oh just you wait-"

    "No, it'll be different, for both of us Ava. You're never going to be a mess. I've never done it with someone I still love, someone I'm madly in love with, and you've never done it in love at all," he explained.

    Ava felt the tears threatening to fill her eyes. John always had a way of making her cry. She pushed those to the back and just cocked her head in response. John knew little about Cael's father. It wasn't a topic she talked about. John was more than aware of that. Veronica surely hadn't been that bad?

    "By the time Robert came to be, I had fallen out of it with Veronica," he explained softly. "I loved her; she's the mother of my first child so I'll always love her in a way, just not…" He trailed off. It was clear he didn't know how to verbalize his complex feelings.

    Ava would never make John speak if he couldn't find the words, just as he wouldn't with her. It was rare that John couldn't find the right words. The verbal lashings he could give his bandmates were proof enough of that. Sometimes, she swore he made up new words to fit his needs. "I know," she said softly. She leaned up to place a kiss to the tip of his nose.

    The now married couple was close, extremely close. At times, they were more like peas in a pod than humans. They usually understood what the other man. Occasionally, they would need a few things clarified. But, Ava understood what John was getting at. She knew that once you loved someone, you never could fall out of it. It just changed; the love shifted to something else.

    "I can't wait to go through this with you," he said with a smile.

    "And I with you," she said.

    "And I can't wait to meet the newest member of the Deacon family." John placed a kiss on her neck and Ava simply giggled. She leaned her head back against his chest and looked up.

    "You're already such a good father, I can't wait to watch it up close from the beginning," she said. Of course, Ava had been around to see the birth of his first child. It had been a little heartbreaking. They'd met before Robert's birth, actually. Ava had been a childhood friend of Brian.

    That was her whole introduction to this crazy world, she realized. Brian. As much as she hated to thank him, she knew she would have to, for all of these. They'd met when Ava was just five, and Brian fourteen. It was more like a sibling relationship at first. Brian had always wanted a younger sister, and Ava spent much of her own childhood alone. As they had both gotten older, that dynamic at stayed for the most part.

    A few years back now, after Queen had already gotten huge, Ava had the luck of running into him on one of his visits home. They had reconnected instantly. The relationship they had once had, never seemed to have fully left either person. He had brought her to rehearsal, and the rest had been history.

    "I hope the baby has your eyes," she said.

    "Oh, now don't say that. You've got the prettier eyes of the two of us. And hopefully they inherit your nose, not this old thing I've got," he said with a smile.

    "John!" She said with a roll of her eyes. "Your eyes, your nose. You're the prettier of the two of us," she said with a smirk.

    "Absolutely not. Have you seen me? I look like a wet dog that's been left outside too long if I don't properly maintain myself," he teased. Ava knew he wasn't serious. Perhaps, at the beginning of their relationship, John would have meant it. Neither of them had the best confidence. But as time had gone, John had started to be more gentle with himself.

    "Now Mister, you're getting into dangerous-"

    "Territory, I know," he laughed. "Your nose, but my eyes? Does that compromise work?" Ava laughed, but nodded.

    "I think poor Robert already has the curse of my nose, or the starts of it," he laughed.

    When Ava had learned that not only did John have a girlfriend, but that she was pregnant, Ava had been devastated. If only she could go back in time. It would be nice to tell her past self that one day, she would be like a mother to that little boy.

    But, that mattered not now. John was hers and she was his, fully. It was meant to be. At least, that was how it had already felt. They were meant to be, and simply always would be.

    "I love you," she whispered softly.

    "I love you too," he said. Silence surrounded them again, at least for a few moments more. It was truly their happiness. Around each other, they never found it awkward. Eventually, though, John would break the silence. He usually would cave before her.

    "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

    "A girl, I think. I'm going to love them no matter what, don't get me wrong on that!" She spoke with a giggle. "But I think a girl would be nice. A change of pace. We already have the two boys." She glanced up at him. "And between you and our boys and the boys in the band, I already feel like I manage a soccer team," she laughed.

    "Good luck getting Fred to play soccer," he laughed. To that, she couldn't help but laugh as well and ruffle his hair with her hand.

    Gone were the long chocolate locks that used to rival her own. She had loved John's hair so much. But, Ava had gotten used to the new haircut, and had eventually grown to like it. The look suited him as he got older.

    "What do you want?" She asked.

    "Whatever you give me honey. I'm happy with whatever and whomever," he said with a grin. She laughed and kissed him before turning back to the sky and tucking her head under his chin.

    The sun was setting, truly now. It was a vibrant shade of red. The smile on her face only grew as she leaned further back into John. Her eyes closed and she breathed deeply. Never would she forget this moment. It would be impossible to. That was something she was sure of.

    "We should head in before it gets too dark to see," John said with a chuckle.

    Ava just nodded as she stood and wiped away any grass on her legs. Once John was standing, he picked Ava up and began to carry her, bridal style, to the little cottage. All Ava could do was giggle and swat at his chest playfully.

    "You beast, let me down," she teased.

    "I do believe I have a few doors I have to carry you through, no? Isn't that the tradition?" He asked as he continued to walk.

    "I think you've only got the one, Mister! We don't own this place, you big goof. You've got two weeks to worry about that tradition." She rolled her eyes as she spoke.  

    A grin, once the words were out of her mouth, spread on John's face. "You didn't!" She shouted.

    "I did, a wedding fit from me to you. I know you hate living in the city. And, it got Freddie off my back about having an extravagant honeymoon," he laughed.

    Ava had never said anything specific about hating the city. Was it that obvious? Or, had John gotten it from her constant ramblings of her childhood? When it wasn't spent with Brian, it was spent up in the Welsh countryside. She missed it so.

    "This is our escape," John said.

    "Oh John, my love, you really didn't have to," she said. She leaned up to kiss him. "God, I love you so much. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

    "God is hardly the person to love for this," he teased. His body angled her as they walked through the door to prevent her from hitting the door frame.

    They didn't bother with the downstairs. It could be explored later. Not that it looked like there would be much to explore. It wasn't huge, but they didn't need the world here. Ava also couldn't blame John for heading straight upstairs.

    "There's two other bedrooms, for the kids or any guests we want." John spoke as he laid her down on the bed.

    Ava didn't let John get away from her. The moment she could, she wrapped her arms and legs around him, pulling him down on top of her.

    "You're all mine for now, though," she said with a grin.

    He pressed his lips to Ava's. There were those fireworks when they touched that she hadn't felt since their first kiss. Sparks flew and Ava could feel butterflies in her stomach.

    John paused for a moment, clearly unsure about something. "Can we? With the baby and all?" He mumbled gently. Ava couldn't help the chuckle that left her mouth. It was such a sweet question.

    "Well, I certainly can't get more pregnant," she teased. "But yes, yes of course we can," she said with a grin.

    It didn't take long for John's kisses to begin to trail down Ava's neck. For him, it never too much time to want to get further. Not that Ava took any longer. There was something so calming, so grounding about him. She never felt skittish. He was her grounding rock, and made her want to adventure just a little.

    As his lips moved down her body, he began to unbutton and remove her shirt. Ava gasped as she felt the cold air hit her. For a moment, John paused to look up at her.

    "The most beautiful sight I've ever been blessed with to be mine," he said. Ava just rolled her eyes at that.

    His lips returned to her skin, sucking a few red marks into her skin. Ava gasped and her hips began to roll up against John. "Darling dear, please," she mumbled. Her hips didn't still as she tried to get at what she wanted. They hadn't had the time in weeks, and it was all catching up to her now.

    "Please?" She mumbled. This time, John looked up at her, for just a moment. It might not have taken much to get going, but the going was never quick.

     John liked to call himself a romantic when it came to their sex life. He was slow and loving. At times, Ava adored it. Now as not one of those times. She just wanted her husband. But, that would hardly influence John's desires. His favorite thing to do was to tease her and draw things out as long as he possible could.

    It seemed as if now would be one of those times. No doubt he would give into her easily. Her restless energy wanted to get on with things. His restless energy, no doubt, would draw things out. He always won.

    "Just gotta be gentle." He spoke after Ava let out another groan. "wouldn't want to hurt you, or anyone else," he said. He placed a kiss to her stomach with a smile.

    Ava only responded by spreading her legs, and John returned to his trail of kisses down her body. As he went, he pulled off her pants, and then her underwear. Kisses were peppered all over her body. Some of those kisses bordered on biting, but they were never placed where she wanted them most.

    "Jooooohn," she whined softly. "I need you."

    In response, he only paused to look up at her and chuckled. "What darling? Is there something specific you need? Something you fancy?" A smirked painted his face.

    "Yeah, I'd fancy you," she mumbled. Her hips never slowed their roll as she spoke.

    "I'm right here my darling." He accentuated every word with a kiss to her thighs and then looked back up at her. "What more could you need?" Ava wished she had the power to wipe the shit eating grin off his face.

    A few more whines left her mouth before John gave into what she wanted. His thumb pressed against her clit as he drew small shapes over it. "Is this what you wanted, my darling blushing bride? Could you not find the words for this?"

    Ava, in response, could only moan gently. It wasn't anywhere near what she wanted. It was a step in the right direction. But she knew that asking for more right now wouldn't get her anywhere. In fact, it could just push her further from it.

    They stayed like that for some time, John drawing soft moans from Ava with a grin. John eventually pushed a finger inside her and kissed whatever skin he could reach. Ava gasped and reached down to grab his free hand.

    John looked up at her and Ava could see he was getting close. As much as John loved playing games, he was still human. There were times he couldn't wait.

    The look on John's face was one of pure need. Sometimes, Ava liked to think she was the only one who knew it on his face. Or, at least she was the only one who understood it. As much as John loved to tease, he still had his limits. Sweet relief was coming.

    "Darling?" He asked gently. Ava just nodded her head. Her now husband wasted no time in crawling back up the bed. "Now," he began as he tossed his shirt off. "Would you so mind if…?" He mumbled as he undid his zipper.

    Ava didn't respond verbally. Instead, she just reached up and undid his zipper for him. "If you don't," she said. Murder was in her eyes. John knew as much. His pants were kicked to the side as he placed a kiss to her lips.

    "I love you," he whispered. For a second, Ava thought he might continue with his games. He paused, his cock pressed at her entrance. A few seconds more, and he was pushing in. Ava, for the moment, could only gasp and wrap her legs around his waist.

    "I love you too," she mumbled once her words returned. They, of course, would not stay for long.

[castcharmperson]

Speed Trap: Part VI

[Start]

Our thrilling conclusion!

The ride to the station was longer than Taako remembered it being and terrifyingly quiet. Neither of the real officers said anything and Taako was certainly not about to start talking. Unless, shoot, he was supposed to state that he was enacting his fifth amendment right, right? He opened his mouth to do so but sighed instead, slumping in the back seat. What was the point? Lup was never going to forgive him for this. Prison might actually be better.

She parked the squad car and muttered something to her coworker, before taking Taako out herself. She was surprisingly gentle, but the distance between them was painful as she led him by the elbow past the lobby. They went into a side room, sat in opposite chairs across a metal table, and she started filling out paperwork.

“So.” She finally looked at him. Her eyes were still rimmed red.

“Lulu-”

She shook her head, lips pursed with barely contained fury that melted away into something so much worse. “None of that,” she said with a forced calm that hurt to hear.

“Okay.” He tried to get comfortable in the metal chair with the metal cuffs behind his back but it was hopeless.

“How-” Lup’s voice cracked and she started again. “How long has this been going on?”

“A while.”

“Taako.”

“Started back in September, I think.”

She sucked in a breath through her teeth and scribbled down his answer. She looked at him again and it was like there was smoke in his lungs. “Since you got the promotion.”

Taako was the first to break eye contact. “I, uh, didn’t get promoted.”

She didn’t respond, just waited him out. She probably already knew the answer, just what he’d said was enough of a confession, but she wanted to hear it.

“I got fired.”

The bark of laughter startled him. “So you get fired and, what? Join a fucking gang? What is wrong with you!” She stood suddenly, but he leaned forward, trying to match her as she paced around the small room.

“Why the fuck does everyone think I’m working with the crazy twins? No, I’m not in a gang! I literally only ran into them last night. I’ve just been committing a little fraud.”

“A little? Taako, this isn’t- Fuck, you just confessed. You can’t keep a job and you can’t even run a con right!”

“I was fucking amazing at running a con for half a year and I-” He wasn’t sure how they started shouting at each other, but he was the first to stop. “Lup. Please, I’ll give back all the money if that’s what this is about.”

She sat back down, slumped over with her head in her hands. “Taako,” she sighed and looked at him again. He forced himself to keep looking at her. “If it were up to me, I’d let you off easy. Community service, fines, that kind of thing. But it is literally so not up to me, it’s laughable. There’s probably going to be a trial, you’ll have to convince a lot of people who aren’t your goddamn sister who loves you, you fucking idiot. I would have helped you if you needed money, you know that.”

“Lulu-”

“No!” She slammed her hands on the table and he jumped. She looked guilty, but pushed on, voice soft again. “I can’t help you anymore. I’m a suspect, Taako. You took my uniform, learned the police codes from me while I was studying, lived in the same damn house with me while you did all this and I had no fucking clue!” Her voice was breaking again and Taako had to look away.

She took a deep breath and stood. Taako heard retreating footsteps and the door opening. “I’ll put in a good word,” Lup whispered, before closing the door and leaving him alone.

“Go easy on him, please.” He heard her say as the door opened again. “He’s all I have.”

He had a moment to smile to himself. How mad could she be, if she’d still consider him family? The two of them had cut people out of their lives for less. They were always a duo, no matter how much trouble they dragged each other into. Maybe a few years away, doing the proper time for his crimes, and Taako could come back and everything would be fine.

“Well, you really didn’t want to follow any of the laws, did you? What, officers still weren’t attractive enough?”

“Oh my god, no. No, you do not get to decide my fate, are you kidding me?” Taako scowled as Kravitz closed the door behind himself and strolled into the room.

“Well, I don’t decide it. A jury of your peers will. You know, through the legal system. The system you basically spat on for the last six months.”

“You can cut the accent, Kravitz.”

“You should really be calling me Officer Queen.” At least he dropped the fake Cockney. “Or sir, if you’re feeling cheeky.”

Kravitz sat across from him, spinning the chair Lup had just been in to straddle his legs around the back. Taako had to laugh, at a loss for any other kind of reaction. “God, you think you’re so cool right now, don’t you? Don’t even try, my guy. I know you. You’re a flustered pretty boy, with stupid accents and a weakness for sugar cookies. Don’t act like you’re in control right now.”

“Oh, but I am.” Kravitz leaned forward, absolutely leering. “You know, with that nice little confession you just gave, they might let you off easy. It’s a ten year minimum for impersonating an officer in this district. If you want to go to trial, well, I might have to bring up arson, bribing an officer, money laundering, sexual harassment-”

“Woah, okay, the arson was not my fault. And we both know that was not harassment, Officer Queen. I may be an idiot criminal but I have eyes. I’ve seen how you look at me.”

Kravitz rolled his eyes, but Taako could see a blush creeping across his cheeks. “If you go to trial, you will lose. That’s a fifteen year minimum and a fine that will put you even further in debt than you were before this whole con act started. You can kiss your bakery goodbye.”

“It’s a cafe,” Taako grumbled. He’d already sort of accepted that fate. Lup wouldn’t be able to run it, not with her job, if she was even able to keep that after all Taako had ruined. And everyone else he knew would burn down the kitchen before being able to make anything edible. Still stung to be reminded of all he was going to lose, though.

“However,” Kravitz’s playful tone throughout all of this had bordered on cruel in Taako’s opinion, but now there was a shift. Some conspiratal about it. “You really should thank Ms. Mol’Diira. You think my accent is bad? She noticed pretty early on that there was a similarity in the very fake voices you were using every time you called, so she started keeping track of what you called in. In fact, she’s credited you with more successful dangerous driving arrests than any other officer in the district.”

“Really?” Taako’s face scrunched up even as his shoulders lost some of the tension they were holding. “You guys suck at your job.”

Kravitz laughed. “Well, most of our officers are focused on bigger cases. Such as that kidnapping you got entangled with. We got a statement from a, uh, Cameron Sorcera. Sound familiar? He described someone who matches your description. Says you saved his life. Taako, for a fake cop, you’ve got almost as much potential as Lup did when she joined the force.”

Taako barked out a short laugh, his smile like a knife. “Don’t insult my sister like that.”

Kravitz’s brows knitted together for only a moment. “I’m serious. What you did last night was nothing short of heroic.”

The silence that settled over the interrogation room was unsettling, but Kravitz seemed comfortable in it. Taako supposed it was his job after all. He wished he could enjoy the irony about this man; at ease against dangerous criminals but flustered by a flirting pastry chef.

“Look, I’m not a hero.” The word tasted sour in Taako’s mouth. “But I’m not a monster. I couldn’t just stand by while people got away with all the shit they did.”

Kravitz nodded, like he’d been expecting that answer. How? He hardly knew Taako and what he did know was not worthy of whatever that thoughtful look was on that handsome face. “I’m sure you know your sister is taking leave for the next two months.”

“Yeah.” Fuck, she and Barold had been planning that trip for months. Courthouse marriage and then all the ‘sorry we can’t attend the wedding’ gift money from distant relatives was going to be dumped into the most epic honeymoon imaginable. With all the trouble Taako had stirred up, there’s no way she’d be able to go.

“I’ll be down my best officer. And the Wendor case, which has been cold for months, finally has a lead. Plus, she’s taking Civilian Officer Bluejeans and he does more paperwork here than everyone else combined- we’ll be swamped while they’re gone.”

“Wait,” Taako tilted his head. Something didn't add up. “Lup said she was a suspect. They’re not going to let her out of the state.”

Kravitz returned to that playful grin, too handsome to possibly be legal no matter which side of the law he was on. “‘They’ who? The only person of authority who knows about your little stunt is me.”

Taako wished he could say he was distracted. Wished he had some kind of reason for his confusion. He wasn’t even lost staring at those perfectly plush lips smiling at him. No, he had heard every word, but still didn’t understand. He just sat there, slack jawed and staring at Kravitz, who leaned across the table, giving a stage whisper.

“Here’s my offer. If you can pass the written officer’s exam, manage all of Bluejean’s paperwork, and cease any and all criminal activity, I will allow you to serve your sentence for the next two months as a probationary officer instead of the next ten years behind bars.”

“You… You can’t do that? What happened to a jury of my peers? To the respect for the legal system? You can’t just play the law however you want. You’re one guy. And you’re not even a judge.”

Kravitz gave a dark chuckle, leaning back and seeming to lounge in the rigid metal chair. “That’s funny. What exactly have you been doing the past six months?”

Taako gave a reluctant nod.

“So, you want to take this to court? Or do we have a deal?”

“You’re really serious.”

“Not for long, though.” Kravitz looked to his wrist, but he wasn’t even wearing a watch. “I’ve got a meeting with the district supervisor in ten minutes, so make your decision.”

“Is there a catch?”

“It’s a lot of paperwork.”

“And only two months?”

“I might consider an extended position if you follow the rules.”

“Why me?”

Again, Kravitz’s eyebrows creased towards each other, confusion and concern mixed in a beautiful twist, though he willed the expression away as fast as it came. “Well, I can’t exactly get my free drink if you never open your cafe.”

Whatever Taako felt at those flippant words didn’t feel real. Nothing about any of this felt real. It was like something fantastical and fictional was bubbling up inside him like a colorful, magical glow. Distantly, he thought the feeling might be hysteria. This whole situation, the entire last six months and certainly the last twenty-four hours, were too impossible to really get a grip on. Laughter tumbled out of him and Taako mirrored Kravitz’s lounged pose, as much as the handcuffs twisting his arms behind him would allow.

“Huh, so mister high and mighty law man is willing to let crime slide by for a pretty face. Bet I really could have gotten out of that ticket if you let me suck your--” The sound of Kravitz’s chair screeching across the tile was enough to stop him, so the finger pressed against his mouth seemed unnecessary. Especially with Kravitz half lunged across the table to place it there.

Despite the deep flush across his face, Officer Queen managed to keep his voice forceful. “If you make a single sexual remark towards me again, if you so much as look at my ass once I’m out of this room, I will end this entire thing and you will go to jail.”

He should be concerned. Taako should pay attention to Kravitz’s warning, should take this strange, hail Mary deal and keep on the straight and narrow for the rest of eternity. But he was neither straight nor narrow, and all of this still seemed like a fever dream.

It was too easy to stick his tongue out and lick upwards along Kravitz’s finger. The officer jolted his hand back at the slick sensation, but didn’t unsprawl himself from over the table. It was a cute look on him, horrified at the situation and horrified at his own interest all at once.

“What?” Taako grinned. “You said we started once you were out of the room.”

[Part Five]

So yeah, I imagine this fic sort of like a pilot episode. Throughout the season, they chase criminals, wrap up this case with the Wonderland twins, and fall in love with each other. Maybe in season two, Lup and Barry come back and it’s the full on reaper squad. Idk.

Thanks so much for reading! If you liked it, drop by my askbox and let me know!

[jaspertown]

Blindspot Review... 3.01

Hi guys.  So I have only been half alive on Tumblr due to work travel, worst internet connection ever, and a few health issues..  But I seriously needed to catch up with Blindspot before the next episode.  So here is a full review of the episode....  *Spoiler ahead if you haven’t seen the episode yet... You’ve been warned....

A Jeller Wedding - It was beautiful.... Very girly for a kickass woman like Jane... I loved it.  Kinda hope they flashback to an actual proposal... not just the gorgeous location.  Okay, I will take both...  =)

Jane looks spectacular.  Patterson officiates, she has always been a Jeller supporter.

Are Tasha and Reed together?  They certainly seemed closer.  

I think the Flash coordinated their wedding... They already bought a house, moved, and are talking kids.... Wow!

Add a bounty to Jane’s head and the honeymoon is over.  Let the separation begin.  Jane leaves to keep her love safe.  Slow down.... please...

Two years later, a box arrives with Jane’s name on it.  The coordinates of her location and proof, that when you stick with your partner, answers come easier. or more questions... lol.  They have to go back to where Weller proposed to try and solve the first tattoo.

What I love most about Weller is the way he loves his family.  He will always try to protect them.  But with Jane, he knows they work better together, Jane still has a long way to go to learn this.  She has always been independent and even at one point she comments that ‘she has forgotten how to work with others’.  

I have a feeling this season is all about learning to work together as one.  We even have a joint task force to keep all our characters on the same page.  

Oh, wait, but I jumped ahead...Got a little excited to use the gif. 

Roman has the team kidnapped first.  Tasha, Reed and Patterson end up in Velenzuela sold into slavery.  They also haven’t seen each other in a year.

So a quick run down... 2 years have passed.  

Reed is now the Director of the FBI

Tasha is now working for the CIA

Patterson writes/develops video games????

 So the Weller’s travel back to Italy to where Kurt proposed.  The clock building matches the clue and they head to the roof, where a box is waiting for them.  There is a phone inside that calls - wait for it...

Roman is Back and he is not happy with his sister.

Roman left two vials and details on how to get the team back... Jane needs to play dead for the Duke of Death in order to end the bounty on her head first...

Jane and Weller chase Roman through the city and on the canals.  They lose him, but not before Weller is able to get Roman’s phone.

That leaves Jane ready to end the bounty.  So she gives herself a shot in the leg to temporarily kill herself and trusts Kurt to get her the antidote in time.

flashback to season 1...Jane comes out of the bag.

Jane lives, Kurt and Jane kick butt, and the bounty is no more... Which means Jane can come home!!

But before all the Jeller sex can happen...

Back to the teams dilemma - they are in la la land trying to figure out why they were taken... and the bad guys want them to break into a safe because.... there’s an old CIA computer in it.... OK...  Reed and Tasha are fighting like crazy and Patterson’s gives sage advice and reminds everyone how much they have missed each other... 

My heart is full!  

Jane and Weller get a location on the team.  The team is in a room of dry food where magnesium and water mixed together will help the machine blow up... sciency terms...IOW... Mexican Style Soup saves the day... along with a borrowed tank... that’s cute Jane. =) The team is now safe and happy to see each other again.

Jane’s new tattoo’s are scanned into the system.

The old team is now a joint task force... and the new mysteries will need to be solved...

So what am I forgetting....

Hello Rich.com... who is now working for the FBI.... I think I am daydreaming...

best line of the night for me came from Rich - “Six best friends and Stuart”.  So funny!!!  

New mysteries:

- IS RICH AND PATTERSON A SOMETHING????? I thought he was gay, maybe he is bi-sexual?

- The Weller’s are home in the old apartment.  

- Jane gets her wedding ring back and seems stoked to be home.  Maybe.  So why is she starting a new nest egg??  Please don’t run again!!   

- Tasha notices a dragonfly as one of the tattoo’s and tells her boss.  Apparently, they hope no one will ask... 

- Roman is waiting outside their apartment and threatens Kurt to help him with the tattoo’s so he won’t have to tell Jane about what happened in Berlin??  hmmm.  Too obvious about a scandal, maybe something else... We will see.  

Okay... I think I covered the basics.... I have never typed so fast to keep up with a show... WOW!  One more night till episode 2.... ttfn.

@mel-loves-all @coal000 @blindspotlove @andjustforthismoment @green-arrows-of-karamel @emmaamelia95

[anneedmonsonus]

14 Great Books About Houses: My Reviews

If I was down to my last $20, I’d probably buy a coffee and a book… maybe a novel about a house.

Me at bookstore *Spies book with pretty old mansion on cover* TAKE MY MONEY

I am very partial to a story where an amazing house is almost a character. And I’m a total sucker for a book cover with a beautiful old sprawling manse, the more secretive-looking, the better. (Add a stone wall and a pair of wrought iron gates and I’ll cough up an extra $2).

“How do you find time to READ?” my friend Deb asked me once. She is also a mum (but she has three young boys) and also has a small business. “E-books,” I told her. E-books have revolutionised reading books for me as an adult. I don’t have a Kindle – I usually read books on my phone.

I love the immediacy of an eBook – you can buy it in seconds. Yes, like many people, I love the FEEL of paper between my fingers, and the smell of an old book – but if there was the choice between a book on a phone and no book at all, I’ll take the book on a screen.

What’s also great about reading on a phone is that you can easily read one-handed, and you don’t even need to be holding it. I can read a book while nursing the baby, which was INFINITELY more satisfying than tiredly scrolling Instagram in those hazy crazy newborn days. I quickly learned I could feed a baby in a dark room and read at the same time (just flick the book app onto night mode) without the glare waking the baby up too much. It definitely made those night wakings a little more bearable.

And there’s the portability factor – I can read while waiting in line at Woolies or while doing inane tasks like folding laundry or chopping vegies. You can do it! I totally get feeling like you don’t have time to read – but you can. I feel happier and content when I am in the middle of a good book, like life is more rounded and fulfilling somehow.

Today I thought I’d share some of my favourite books that feature houses in a major role – and I’m hoping you get time to read at least one! I would love to hear your book suggestions too.

THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW A.J. Finn

Yes, the protagonist is an alcoholic female, which seems to make a lot of people cross as there seems to have been a spate of unreliable female narrators lately, but I enjoyed this psychological thriller for what it is: a punchy, addictive little pageturner you could read in a night or two. And the house in it is a crucial part of the story; an amazing 19th-century Harlem townhouse set over five storeys. Living in Perth, where a four storey house is unusual, multi-storey living fascinates me (just imagine how good your calf muscles would be) and sent me on a delightful real estate rabbit-hole swooning over New York townhouses.

The Woman in the Window is another one of those domestic thrillers that people immediately compare to books like Gone Girl and Girl on the Train. It drives me nuts. I totally get that it’s a marketing ploy when publishers do it, but even worse is it trickles over into reader reviews where you get people pompously declaring, “WELL. That was NOT Gone Girl.” Well… because it’s not Gone Girl. Ironically I’m writing this as I’m writing short reviews myself, but I think you should start a book without too many expectations and without immediately comparing it to another book in the same genre.

I recently learned that they are releasing a Woman in the Window movie with Amy Adams soon; she can do no wrong and I will be watching.

Get It:   AppleBooks           Amazon         AudioBook 

REBECCA Daphne du Maurier

“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again,” is the opening line of Rebecca, and regarded as one of the most memorable and famous opening lines of any novel. And once you have visited Manderley in Rebecca, it will stay with you for a long time. I read this for the first time when I was 18 – so probably not too much older than the protagonist would have been – at an age when I could completely identify with those unsure, insecure and competitive feelings the protagonist felt. But even today I still think it is a great read; a dark look at jealousy, secrets and insecurity. The story is about a young (unnamed) protagonist who is working as a companion for an older woman in Monte Carlo when she meets a handsome older widower named Maxim de Winter. She learns that Maxim’s former wife Rebecca, a beautiful, charitable woman who was universally adored, recently drowned at sea and many people are devastated about her death. Despite the recent loss of his wife, Maxim asks the young protagonist to marry him, and after their honeymoon they return to his huge house, Manderley. But the young protagonist finds she has big shoes to fill, and few take kindly to Rebecca’s ‘replacement’. Even though Rebecca is dead, she is like ‘the other woman’, haunting Manderley from the grave.

Du Maurier based Manderley, the Gothic mansion in the novel, on an abandoned house in Cornwall called Menabilly that she had been obsessed with since she was a girl. Eventually she managed to lease it from the owner and moved in, remaining there for most of her life (even though it was not properly habitable) until she was basically kicked out. Dark, foreboding Manderley is an incredible setting, and although this book is slow to start, once it gets going you won’t be able to put it down.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

WHAT ALICE FORGOT Liane Moriarty

Alice Love doinks her head in a gym class and wakes up to find she is no longer 29, pregnant with her first child and crazy in love with her husband Nick – instead she is 39, has two kids and is in the middle of a divorce.

She can’t remember anything of the last ten years at all and has to reconstruct the events of a lost decade – and see if she work out why her life, her marriage and her relationships with those close to her have become what they have. (The upside? In that ten years, Alice and Nick have completely transformed the ramshackle character home they were painstakingly doing up when she was 29 is now a perfectly finished luxury home with a pool – Alice’s glee at seeing her house for the ‘first time’ is funny).

What Alice Forgot is actually one of my favourite Moriarty novels – it will make you examine the way the passage of time can make you take some things for granted and let other things deteriorate.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

JAMAICA INN Daphne du Maurier

Ok, so I think Daphne du Maurier can do no wrong, especially on the gothic thriller front, and the house in Jamaica Inn is immediately so cold and cruel and creepy that it perfectly sets the ominous tone for the rest of the book. Also, Jem the horse thief is sexy. It’s fine to be a horse thief… if you’re sexy.

Probably TMI, but I read this on our honeymoon in Italy, after a beautiful day hiking in the Dolomites, and our son was born nine months later, so you do the maths. We don’t need Fifty Shades of Grey over here. We just need a rude horse thief. (By the way, I thought 50 Shades was crap. There is WAY better erotica out there… not saying I read it… but you know, it’s out there).

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

  THE LIGHT BETWEEN OCEANS M.L. Stedman

I’ve always been intrigued by people who live in the most remote lighthouses in the world. It sounds fun in theory, but in real life I think I would go nuts.

And as much as I love him, I could not imagine living with just my hubby on a remote island for months on end, let alone years. We would kill each other.

It’s part of why I was first interested by the story of The Light Between Oceans. Lighthouse keeper Tom Sherbourne and his wife April live a quiet existence on a remote island off Western Australia, all by themselves. One day a boat washes ashore carrying a dead man and a crying baby. Their decision they made that day comes back to haunt them years later. Books about ethical dilemmas always catch my interest. I always put myself in their shoes. Would I steal a baby? No, but after reading this I can sort of understand how someone else might.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

THE LAKE HOUSE Kate Morton

Oh, Kate Morton’s publishers are clever. They know that books with pretty old, secretive-looking houses on the cover are like porn to people like me, and I’m not the only one. There’s a definite theme to her covers and a definite theme to her books, which frequently feature sprawling homes in the most romantic idylls of England.

Morton was recently quoted as saying, “Some houses whisper, ‘Write my story!’ so loudly that it’s impossible not to start imagining what the walls might have seen.” She is fantastic at setting a scene, and I like it. This was my first of hers and the house in the novel, an old rambling mansion in the heart of the Cotswolds, one of my favourite places on earth, is just the kind of setting I most enjoy.

I thought the ending was a bit twee, but on the whole it was a fun read.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

ROOM

Emma Donoghue

This is a divisive book. Because I know some people hear of the concept of this book and just go NO THANKS. Look, give it a try. I could have read this in one sitting (except, you know, kids).

Can we consider a shed a house? I think so – particularly if that shed was all the protagonist knew for the first six years of his life. It was his house – his whole world. As soon as I heard about the concept of this book, I was intrigued. Donoghue wrote Room after hearing about Josef Fritzl, who kidnapped his daughter Elisabeth and kept her captive for 24 years. He raped her and fathered seven children with her.

Elisabeth’s son Felix was five when they were finally rescued, and Donoghue was intrigued by what it would be like at that age to leave the life you had always known and go into the world. She loosely based the book on elements from the Fritzl case and other real-life kidnappings.

Room is about a little boy called Jack and his mother. Unbeknownst to Jack, his mother was kidnapped by a man they call Old Nick and for years he has kept them locked in a tiny shed in his back yard – and Jack is the product of that abusive relationship. What’s fascinating about Room is that it’s told from the point of view from the little boy – and the shed they live in, that he calls Room, is the only world he’s ever known. It’s amazingly written and I fell in love with the sweet kid. I read it when Little Nerd was a baby, and it tore at my heartstrings.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE Shirley Jackson

The book that inspired the Netfix show (but they’re nothing alike). I was drawn to Shirley Jackson’s writing when I heard about The Lottery, a short story she wrote, published in the New Yorker in 1948, that so incensed readers she received hate email. She is an amazing writer, and the Haunting of Hill House is a dark, uneasy psychological thriller/Gothic novel that still chills now as much as it did when it was published in 1959.

The story follows four strangers as they begin the summer at Hill House, a reportedly haunted home, for the purpose of reporting on its supposed supernatural phenomena. The protagonist is Eleanor Vance, a painfully shy, anxious 32-year-old woman who has spent the past 11 years as her invalid mother’s carer. After her mother dies, Eleanor is invited to spend time at Hill House with Dr Montague, a scholar of paranormal phenomena, who has asked Eleanor and two other people to come with him. It’s a dark, creepy novel COMPLETELY different to the Netflix series (which I have not, and probably will not, watch – I like a creepy book but not a creepy show!) Jackson’s writing is vivid; the picture she paints of Hill House is of a house diseased and decaying, Jackson describes the disorienting mansion as ‘vile’.

I know most Shirley Jackson fans prefer We Have Always Lived in the Castle and yes, it is good, but there is something I liked about Hill House more.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

THE GHOST AT DAWN’S HOUSE Ann M. Martin

I have to include ONLY THE GREATEST BOOK ABOUT A HOUSE EVER. Am I right, Babysitters Club fans?

If you did not once rap on the wall of an old house, listening for a hollow noise that could signify a secret room or secret passage beyond, were you even a child of the 90s? All I wanted since was to live in a house with a secret room or passage.

This novel sparked my lifelong fascination with the old houses of New England, although I was perplexed by the Underground Railroad mention. When I first read it (at the age of six) I actually thought the Underground Railroad WAS some sort of tiny miniature railroad, something I continued to believe for many years (thank you Ann M. Martin, a little bit more detail there would not have gone astray).

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

I AM LEGEND

Richard Matheson

Forget everything you think you know about vampires (sparkly, delicious-smelling, Edward Cullen going to chemistry class, meh) and then put aside your memories of the movie version of I Am Legend – and enjoy getting creeped out by this awesome science fiction horror novel that inspired the Will Smith movie (and yes, I do think it IS a good movie!)

I Am Legend was written in 1954 by American writer Richard Matheson and has stayed just as good to this day. It’s VERY different to the movie. Unlike Will Smith’s house in the movie, Robert Neville doesn’t live in a home filled with rescued famous artworks, but his little home, where he barricades himself against the vampires every night and prays for sunrise, is integral to the story nonetheless, and the scene Matheson paints is indelible. Not to everyone’s taste (you might like your vampires more wholesome) but it is a good read.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

THE LOST FLOWERS OF ALICE HART Holly Ringwald

Ok, not a fan. I know, I know. A lot of people LOVE this book (which is why I am including it) I am not one. After the first two chapters, which were decent, I struggled to finish it.

The old Victorian homestead in it is a huge part of the story, and lovely, but overall I felt like it was syrupy-sweet and over-written, the storyline was too whimsical and the main character gasped too much. The best part of this book was the beautiful cover.

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THE HOARDER

(also titled MR FLOOD’S LAST RESORT)

Jess Kidd

A creepy old Gothic mansion, a hoarder and a likeable protagonist and her kooky hermit friend – one chapter into Mr Flood’s Last Resort and I was hooked.

I won’t tell you too much more than that, but when I started reading this I felt like it had been a while since I’d read something that felt so original and that was fun.

The setting is a house called Bridlemere, a creepy grade II listed Gothic mansion in West London crammed with layers and layers of junk its elderly owner has collected over the decades, and it is up to careworker Maud Drennan to help tidy it up.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon 

THE GIRLS IN THE GARDEN Lisa Jewell

Have you ever looked at a big, beautiful house from the outside and enviously thought that whoever lives there must lead the most charmed, lucky, wonderful life?

Well, that’s definitely not always the case, as The Girls In the Garden proves. Like moths to a flame, this was another book I was drawn to because of the beguiling cover (ivy on an old house = seems to be symbolic of secrets that lie within).

This was my first foray into the work of Lisa Jewell and then I read her others in rapid succession (see below). The Girls in The Garden is not my favourite of hers – but it’s not bad. In typical house-nerd-dorky-style, it made me want to learn more about a housing concept I found really interesting; London terrace homes that all face onto and connect to a private, communal park, where (the idea is) that kids can roam from home to home freely and safely… hopefully.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon 

THE HOUSE WE GREW UP IN Lisa Jewell

I’ve always been interested by what makes people hoarders, and that is what drew me to this book. The story is about the Bird family, who live in a beautiful honey-coloured cottage surrounded by lovely rambling gardens in an idyllic Cotswolds village.

On the outside everything looks lovely; the Birds seem like the perfect happy family, as time goes on you realise how dysfunctional they are; with the lovely mother Lorelei, seemingly the ‘jewel’ of the family who finds joy in creating beautiful memories for her children, sort of the opposite, you realise she is a complex and narcissistic person who slowly tears her family apart (I actually really disliked her).

I finished this novel feeling conflicted about it – it IS well-written, but the storyline gets quite depressing and the mother becomes so annoying! In any case, I couldn’t put it down and had to find out what happened next. Lisa Jewell writes well and she can keep even a depressing storyline going. Worth a go.

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon

THE LAST ANNIVERSARY Liane Moriarty

My husband grew up on a tiny island off the southern coast of Western Australia, where only a handful of families lived and to go to school he had to catch a ferry. We met in high school, but dated and married much, much later, when I found out that once my family and I had actually holidayed on that same tiny island, when I was eight. I remember two cheeky local boys riding past my friend and I on their bicycles – it may well have been him!

I’ve always been interested in what it must have been like to live in such an isolated locale (“frequently boring,” my hubby would probably say) and so the premise of The Last Anniversary by Liane Moriarty enticed me.

A woman in her 30s is shocked to learn she’s inherited her ex-fiance’s aunt’s house, who took a shine to her. The old house is on Scribble Gum Island, a tiny island with a mystery – the Baby Munro mystery. In the 1930s, a tiny baby girl was found alone in a house on the island, her parents having seem to have vanished. The old house and island has since become a popular tourist spot.

This isn’t my fave Moriarty novel, and in my opinion not one of her best books, but she’s one of my fave authors and it’s still a decent read – the lady can do no wrong, and the setting will definitely make you wonder if you could live on a tiny deserted island with no stores (my answer: I could not. I like to be within reach of a coffee shop and dumplings at all times).

Get It:   AppleBooks                    Amazon   

Have you read any of these? What are your favourite novels that feature houses? Maya x

The post 14 Great Books About Houses: My Reviews appeared first on House Nerd.

from Home Improvement https://house-nerd.com/2019/04/14/great-books-about-houses/