#cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack
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KEY CHARACTERS: chloe morel
"the thing is, you DON'T belong here."
your stereotypical mean girl.
10, prescott prep student
important family: father is an "owner" (big investor) of magnolia enterprises
personality: rude, outspoken, believes she is superior, gossips, can't keep a secret
(if you've ever watched a series of unfourtnate events, her personality is the same as carmelita spatts)
#the sims 4#ts4#the sims 4 gameplay#sims 4#sims 4 story#cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack#i based her off carmelita
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i was a fan of the “a series of unfortunate events” books when i was a kid.
to this day, I can’t figure out why I read “cake-sniffing orphans in the orphan shack” to the tune of the 1812 overture
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Look, it's a mean thing to say but you have to admit "cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack" is catchy
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I ship you with Gotham!Bruce Wayne, aka Cake Sniffing Orphan from the Orphan Shack
Killing you right now
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"average orphan experiences 30 unfortunate events in their life" factoid just a statistical error. Average orphan experiences 1 unfortunate event. baudelaire georg, who lives in a shack and experiences 10,000 per day is an outlier adn shouldn't have been counted
#asoue#lemony snicket#a series of unfortunate events#violet baudelaire#sunny baudelaire#klaus baudelaire#cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack#vfd#volunteer fire department
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came across a craigslist ad for a co-op in berkley ca that is offering u the very special opportunity to pay 500 / month (plus $300 for communual groceries etc) to live in a “hut” in the backyard with no indoor plumbing or hvac. it does have a loftbed, desk, and easy access to the outdoor shower. idk. i really dislike grocery shopping/food preparation but i also have OCD so co-ops have always been a this could be great or this could be terrible proposal. maybe i would like to live in the co-op hut. not for $500 though. maybe $250.
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the older I get the funnier the phrase “cake-sniffing orphans in the orphan shack” is. As a kid I kind of just assumed one day it would make more immediate sense but it really doesn’t and each passing year just underlined the absurdity further. It’s one of my favourite kinds of humour: it answers no questions and raises SO many. There are orphans? They sniff cake and that’s somehow note-worthy? Why are they SNIFFING the cake? There’s such a thing as an orphan shack and they live in it?
literary equivalent to that video of the guy commanding his roommate to take out the trash, cursing his other roommate with chapped lips, and then dancing like he has an agreement with gravity
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Internally I'm chanting cake sniffing orphans in the orphans shack.
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Chapter Eleven:
The One With Higher Stakes and Dire Consequences
“Thank you for taking the time out of your busy orphan schedule to see me,” Vice Principal Nero barked, yanking open the door before they could knock. The children looked uneasy at one another. “Hurry up and come inside. Every minute I spend talking to you is a minute I could spend practicing the violin, and when you’re a musical genius like me, every minute counts.”
The three children walked into the tiny office and immediately noticed Coach Genghis standing in the far corner, leaning his back against the wall, smirking at the three children. Nero glared at them waiting for them to clap their hands for him. All three siblings slowly and softly began clapping their tired hands together as Nero took a few bows. “There are two things I wanted to talk to you about,” He said once the children stopped applauding. “Do you know what they are?”
“No, sir,” Violet said annoyed.
“ No, sir,” Nero mimicked, “Well, for starters, Coach Genghis, here, tells me that even after running laps for nine hours every night, you remain out of shape and winded. Your teachers say you’ve flunked quizzes in personal anecdotes and measuring random objects. And finally, don’t even get me started on Sunny’s employee evaluation. I couldn’t more disgusted if I’d written it myself!” He barked throwing the employee evaluation at the children.
“You did write it yourself,” Klaus pointed out.
“ You did write it yourself,” Nero mimicked. “Don’t get smart with me, boy!”
Klaus shrunk back a bit behind Violet but kept a firm grip on Sunny’s hand.
“Not to mention, you three have missed thirteen of my violin recitals, and each of you owes me a bag of candy for each one. Thirteen bags of candy times three equals forty-nine,”
“Thirty-nine,” Violet corrected.
“ Thirty-nine,” Nero mimicked annoyed. “Are you getting smart with me, too, orphan girl?”
Unlike Klaus, Violet stood tall, keeping her head up. Glaring at both the despicable men in the room.
“Also, Carmelita Spats informed me that she has delivered you fourteen messages and you’ve never given her a single tip,” Nero said. “That’s a disgrace and rather cheap of you three. Now, I think a nice tip for such an adorable little girl should be a pair of earrings with precious stones, so you ower her fourteen pairs of earrings. What do you have to say about that?”
“I think a Vice-Principal should not be referring to any of his students as ‘adorable’,” Violet said angrily.
“You’re just jealous,” Nero remarked angrily. “That no one finds you to be adorable,”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Genghis remarked under his breath. Nero did not hear him but the children definitely did. Violet’s skin crawled and her blood boiled. Klaus glared daggers at Genghis as he made his way in front of Violet rather than behind her. He still kept his grip on Sunny’s hand but he felt like it was his job to protect Violet as much as she would protect him.
“Now do you have anything to say about the topics at hand?” Nero asked.
The orphans looked at one another with their sleepy, sleepy eyes. They had nothing to say about that. They had plenty to think about that, that they’d only missed Nero’s atrocious concerts because Coach Genghis had forced them to. They wondered how someone who didn’t know that thirteen times three was thirty-nine was able to be a Vice Principal. And that tips are always optional and usually consist of money instead of earrings. But the children were too tired to argue all of these points to this tyrannical piece of shit. This disappointed Nero as he stood waiting for one of the children to say something so he can rudely mock them.
“You three,” he began when he realized that the children weren’t going to respond to his question. “Have become the three worst students Prufrock Preparatory School has ever seen. Mr. Poe told me that you two were very intelligent and hard-working children, but you’re just a bunch of cake-sniffing orphans!”
This was Violet’s breaking point. “We’re the three worst students because we’re fucking exhausted!” she barked.
“And we’re fucking exhausted because that piece of shit forces us to run laps every night!” Klaus barked, pointing at Genghis.
“Galuka!” Sunny shrieked, which meant, “So yell at that piece of shit! Not us!”
Nero gave the children a big smile, delighted that he was able to answer them in his favorite way. “ We’re the three worst students because we’re fucking exhausted!” He mimicked. “ And we’re fucking exhausted because that piece of shit forces us to run laps every night! Galuka! I have had enough of your nonsense! Prufrock Preparatory Schoool has promised you an excellent education, and excellent education, you will get...or, in Sunny’s case, an excellent job as an administrative assistant! But…” Nero said slowly calming down. “Luckily, for you, your new gym teacher has a solution. Jim,”
Genghis smirked at the children as he walked slowly towards them. A dark grin plastered on his face as he looked at each tired child in front of him. “Let me tell you...a story,”
Klaus groaned in agony as Genghis continued. “Homeschooling,”
“What?” Klaus asked, his eyes widening and his heart shattering.
“Homeschooling,” Nero explained, “It means staying at home, sitting at your kitchen table, instead of clogging up a classroom,”
Sunny gripped Klaus’ hand tighter as she felt him begin to shake. “V-vice Principal N-Nero,” Klaus stuttered. “Mr. Poe specifically placed us at Prufrock. He wants us to stay here at least a trimester.”
“Keep your grades up, or I’ll toss you three out on your rears!”
“Your wealthy rears,” Genghis commented.
“Now, tomorrow morning I’ve instructed Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass to give you both more-or-less comprehensive exams in front of the whole school. Violet, you’d better remember every detail of Mr. Remora’s stories. Klaus, you’d better remember the length, width, and depths of all of Mrs. Bass’ objects, or I will expel you from school. And for Sunny, a professional reappraisal featuring a special sequence of demeaning menial tasks. If you don’t complete them to my satisfaction, I will fire you.”
“What happens…” Klaus asked worriedly. “If we’re expelled and fired?”
“If you fail,” Genghis said, smile plastered on his face, “it’s off to Coach Genghis’ Ultra-Dynamic Life-Ending Workshop,” he said chuckling.
“We’ll pass those exams and reappraisal,” Violet replied.
“O-of course, we will,” Klaus agreed nervously.
“If you’ll excuse us, we’re going to study in our shack,” Violet said picking up Sunny slowly.
“You don’t have much time,” Genghis commented. “You’re due at the athletic field for Special Orphan Running Exercise in a matter of hours,”
“We still have to run laps?!” Klaus yelled.
“Of course,” Genghis replied.
“And it doesn’t mean you’ll be excused from tonight’s violin recital. Ooooh, you’re going to owe me three more bags of candy!”
“We can’t study for comprehensive exams and run laps all night!” Violet pleaded.
“We’d have to be two places at once!” Klaus reasoned.
“Consider this a learning experience, orphans,” Genghis said. “It’s important you figure out the balance between academics and extracurricular activities,”
Nero nodded his head in agreement. “Well said, Genghis,”
Violet sighed in frustration.
“Listen to us!” Klaus begged. “This man is…”
“This is not Count Olaf.” The advanced computer interrupted as Genghis stuck his face into its camera.
“Oh, goodness, how careless of me,” Genghis replied glaring coldly at Klaus. “Now...what is it you were saying?”
Klaus whimpered as he and his sisters turned to leave Nero’s office. Once outside, the three children quickly explained what was happening to their friends.
“This is awful!” Duncan cried as the five children trudged across the lawn so they could talk things over in peace. “There’s no way you can get an A on those exams, particularly if you have to run laps tonight!”
“This is dreadful!” Isadora cried. “There’s no way you can make all those staples, either! You’ll be homeschooled before you know it!”
Klaus, who was the quietest of the three when they were updating the Quagmires about their meeting with Nero, shook his head. “Oh...he’s not...he’s not going to homeschool us…” he whispered. “He’s going to do things much, much worse. So much worse,”
“Klaus…” Duncan said putting a comforting hand on Klaus. “It’s going to be okay,”
“No...no it’s not. It’s never going to be okay!” Klaus yelled. “He’s...he’s won. Do you know why!?”
“Why?” Isadora asked.
“Because there’s no one here who can help us,” Klaus whispered. Violet looked at him with a look that was a mix of hurt and anger.
“Wait a minute,” Violet began.
“No!” Klaus yelled looking up at her, with his tear-soaked eyes. “I’m sorry but you can’t do this...you can’t...you can’t help us and the one person who did help us...he’s dead. He’s fucking dead because of us…”
“Klaus…” Violet began. “It’s not your fault that he’s…”
“Yes, it is!” Klaus yelled. “You’re a kid, Violet! You can’t stop Olaf...I can’t stop Olaf...no one can stop him! Your father was an amazing man for trying...and I do apologize that I got you into this mess…”
“Stop talking like that,” Isadora chimed in taking Sunny from Violet. Violet hugged Klaus tightly.
“Stop…” Violet whispered to him. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Remember my promise?”
Klaus slowly nodded his head. “I’m giving you the chance to take it back. Take back your promise,”
“Why would I ever do that?”
“It’s too dangerous. He’s got us. Sunny and I are as good as dead...but you. You can run...hide…” Klaus pleaded.
“I’m not..”
“Violet...this should have never happened to you. Your father didn’t deserve to die...I’m sorry for ever involving you or him…”
“Stop talking like this,” Violet cried sternly. “I am in this for the long run. No matter what,”
“I can’t let you,”
“That’s funny...I never asked for permission,” Violet commented. “Klaus...I am doing this because I am your sister...I am doing this because this is what my father would be doing had he not met a fiery death...I’m not going to let his death be for nothing. He died trying to save you guys. I’m going to do the same...because that’s what family is for,”
“You’re in way over your head,”
“Like father, like daughter,” she replied shrugging her shoulders.
He smiles at that but shakes his head. “No,” Klaus cried grabbing Violet by her shoulders. “You...you don’t know what he’s capable of!”
“Well, I will once you tell me,”
“NO!” Klaus yelled. “You’re going to have to just...trust me on this, Vi. You and the Quagmires are to run to safety...Sunny and I can handle our own,”
“Snickets take care of their own,�� She informed him. “You and Sunny...are my siblings. Which means…” she spoke slowly, trying to get this through Klaus’ thick skull. “ You are my own. I’m not letting that piece of shit hurt you guys anymore. He wants you, he’ll have to go through me.”
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of!” Klaus yelled shaking her shoulders. “ You don’t know what he’s capable of!”
Violet looked into her brother’s eyes and what she saw...not only destroyed her but enraged her all the same. She could see so much fear in his eyes, a level of fear that she couldn’t explain because he wouldn’t. She could see desperation...she can also see just how exhausted and fatigued he truly was and she knew it wasn’t only because of the thirteen egregious days of S.O.R.E that he had endured...it was because whatever Olaf had done to them back when she wasn’t involved, haunted him. It eats at him...it eats him alive. She swore that she would make the man who did this to her brother and sister pay. She gave Klaus a small smile as she pushed his hands from her shoulders. “That’s fine,” she said finally. “He doesn’t know what I’m capable of either,”
“Are Snickets all this stubborn?” Klaus asked annoyed.
“Actually,” Violet replied smirking. “My father said I get that from our Mother. So that means Baudelaires are stubborn,”
Klaus rolled his eyes.
“Look, I ran into a burning building in an attempt to save my father,” Violet told him.
“Wait, you did what?” Klaus asked. “Are you crazy?”
“Possibly. But that’s not my point,” Violet replied. “I’d honestly do the same for you guys...and I’ve only known you for two weeks. But it feels like I’ve known you two your whole lives,”
“Elsna,” Sunny shrieked, which meant, “Yep, you and I are definitely sisters!” Klaus translated for Sunny as Violet smiled.
He turned to the Quagmires. “I wouldn’t blame you if you guys were to leave and forget all about us,”
Duncan put his hand in Klaus. “I’m not leaving you,” he said staring into Klaus’ eyes. “The five of us will defeat him,”
“Together,” Isadora added, slipping her hand into Violet’s. “Now we need a plan,”
“Well…we now know his plan. He made us run laps all those nights because he knew we’d be exhausted. He knew we’d flunk our classes, or fail to perform our secretarial duties. He knew we’d be expelled from Prufrock and then he can get his filthy hands on us,”
Klaus groaned. “We were waiting for his plan to be clear, and now it is. But it might be too late,”
“It’s never too late,” Violet replied letting go of Isadora’s hand as she began to tie up her hair. “The comprehensive exams aren’t until tomorrow,”
“But we have more laps tonight,”
“What we need is a plan, a complicated plan that,” Duncan suggested. Violet stepped a few feet away from the four younger orphans, which allowed them to continue on their conversation while she focused solely on concentrating.
“We have to get Violet ready for Remora’s test,” Isadora mentioned. “And Klaus ready for Bass’ test,”
“And we have to make staples for Sunny,” Duncan reminded.
“And you guys still have to run laps,” Isadora commented.
“Brooklyn,” Sunny chimed in, which meant, “And we have to stay awake and go another night with no sleep,”
“I can’t think of anything,” Violet admitted frustratingly.
“Mama,” Sunny suggested as she pointed to the silver, heart-shaped locket that hung from Violet’s neck.
Violet smiled at her little sister as she opened the locket starting at the picture of the woman inside. She stared intensely at her mother. Come on...if there was ever a time where I absolutely needed a brilliant idea, it would be now. I have to protect them! Help me protect your kids! Violet thought.
The four younger orphans all watched as she silently stood there, locket opened and at eye level. Her hair tied up to keep from distracting her. Klaus took this time to polish his glasses and set them back on his nose. Sunny scraped her teeth together, to make sure they were sharp enough for any task ahead. And the two triplets took our their notebooks from their uniform’s pockets. Coach Genghis’ evil plan had become clear through the prism of the Snicket, Baudelaire, and Quagmire experiences, and now they had to use their experience to make a plan of their own.
Violet’s head shot up as she closed her locket setting it back to where it belonged. She turned around to face the four orphans, giving them a big smile.
“Violet?” Isadora asked with anticipation.
“I think I’ve got it!” She said smiling deviously.
“We’re listening,” Duncan replied.
The three siblings and their two triplet friends now sat in the Orphan Shack, which had never looked less unpleasant than it did now. All five children were wearing the noisy shoes that violet had invented, so the territorial crabs were nowhere to be seen. The salt had dried up the dripping tan fungus into a hard beige crust that was not particularly attractive but at least did not plop! Drops of fungus juice on the youngsters. The Orphan Shack had become quite a bit less mountainous and quite a bit more molehilly since their arrival. It still had a long way to go to be attractive and comfortable living quarters, but for thinking of a plan, it would do in a pinch.
And the children were certainly in a pinch. If Violet, Klaus, and Sunny spent one more exhausting night running laps, they would flunk their comprehensive exams and secretarial assignment and then Coach Genghis would whisk them away from Prufrock Prep, and as they thought about this, they could almost feel Genghis’ bony fingers pinching the life right out of them. The Quagmires were so worried for their partners and best friend that they felt pinched as well, even though they were not directly in danger...or so they thought, anyway.
“I can’t believe we didn’t figure out his plan earlier,” Isadora commented mournfully.
“We did all that research, and we still didn’t figure it out,” Duncan remarked remorsefully.
“Don’t feel bad,” Klaus replied. “Sunny and I have had many encounters with this fucker and it’s always difficult to figure out his scheme,”
“We were trying to find out the history of Count Olaf,” Duncan informed. Violet’s head shot up in interest. A history of him...might have pieces that could be of her parents’ history. She thought. “When we snuck into the library, we found that the library has a pretty good collection of old newspapers, and we thought if we could find out some of his previous schemes, we might figure out this one.”
“That’s a good idea,” Klaus muttered.
“I never would have thought of that,” Violet admitted.
“We figured that Olaf must have been an evil man even before he encountered you, Baudeliares,” Isadora explained. “So we looked up things in old newspapers. But it was difficult to find too many articles because as you know he always uses a fake name and disguise. But we found a person matching his description in the Bangkok Gazette, who was arrested for strangling a bishop but escaped prison in just ten minutes.”
“That sounds like him, all right,” Klaus muttered.
“And then in the Verona Daily News, there was a man who had thrown a rich widow from a cliff. He had a tattoo of an eye on his ankle, but he had eluded authorities,” Duncan explained.
“Violet?” Isadora asked gently shaking Violet. “You’re not napping, are you?”
Violet giggled. “No silly goose, I’m concentrating,” she said pointing at her tied up hair. “I think I figured out how to help Sunny with the staples. But I can’t figure out how I can invent something and study at the same time. And since S.O.R.E began, I haven’t taken good notes in class, so I won’t be able to remember his pointless stories.”
“Well you don’t have to worry about that, silly,” Isadora replied smiling at Violet. She held out her black journal for Violet. “I’ve written down every one of Mr. Remora’s boring ass stories. Every boring detail is recorded in this notebook,”
“And I’ve written down how long, wide, and deep all of Mrs. Bass’ pointless objects are,” Duncan informed handing Klaus his green notebook. “You can study from my notebook, Klaus. And Violet can study from Isadora’s.”
“Thank you,” Klaus said smiling at Duncan. “But you’re forgetting something. We are supposed to be running laps this evening. We don’t have time to read anybody’s notebook and he definitely isn’t going to let us read them while running.”
“Fuck,” Sunny replied. “Tarcour,” she whined, which meant “you’re right. S.O.R.E always last until dawn, and the tests are first thing in the morning,”
“If only we had one of the world’s great inventors to help us,” Violet said, “I wonder what Nikola Tesla would do.”
“Or one of the world’s greatest journalists,” Duncan said. “I wonder what Moxie Mallahan would do in our situation.”
“And I wonder what Hammurabi, the ancient Babylonian, would do to help us,” Klaus informed. “He was one of the world’s greatest researchers.”
“Or the great poet Lord Byron,” Isadora added.
“Piranha?” Sunny mused.
“Who knows what any of those people or fish would do in our shoes?” violet said. “It’s impossible to know.”
Isadora’s head shot up. She looked at Duncan, who seemed to be having the exact same idea, “In our shoes!” Isadora yelled happily.
“That’s it!” Duncan yelled agreeing with his sister.
“What’s it?” Klaus asked confused.
“How will my noisy shoes help?” Violet asked.
“No, no,” Duncan said. “I’m thinking about Coach Genghis’ expensive running shoes that he said he couldn’t take off because his feet were smelly,”
“I bet they are smelly,” Isadora commented. “I’ve noticed that he doesn’t bathe much,”
“But that’s not why he hears them,” Klaus explained. “He wears them for a disguise,”
“ Exactly!” The two Quagmire triplets yelled in unison.
“I’m sorry…” Violet said.
“Lost,” Sunny said, which meant, “We don’t follow,”
“When you said, ‘in our shoes’, you gave us this idea,” Isadora explained.
“We know it’s an expression meaning ‘in our situation’ but what if someone else were actually in your shoes?” Duncan added.
“What if we disguised ourselves as you,” Isadora suggested. “Then we could run laps for you and you could stay here and study for your exams,”
“And make your staples for your job,” Duncan added.
“Disguise yourselves…” Klaus repeated in panic. “...as us? No way! Absolutely out of question!” he yelled.
“You two look exactly like each other, anyway,” Violet countered. “But you don’t look anything like us,”
“So what?” Duncan said. “It’ll be dark tonight. When we’ve watched you from the bleachers, all we could see were three shadowy figures running,”
“That’s true,” Isadora agreed. “If I took the ribbon from your hair, Violet and Duncan took glasses to look like Klaus, we’d look enough like you that I bet Coach Shitfuck wouldn’t tell,”
“But your hair is shorter than mine, I have bangs,” Violet countered.
“We’ll figure it out,” Isadora insisted.
“Out of the question,” Klaus replied.
“We can even switch shoes, so our running sounds like your running,” Duncan added.
“But what about Sunny?” Violet countered.
“We’re not doing this!” Klaus shouted.
“Shush, hun,” Duncan replied patting Klaus’ hand. “What about Sunny?”
“There’s no way two people can disguise themselves as three,” Violet countered.
The Quagmires’ faces fell, “If only Quigley were here,” Isadora mused.
“I just know he’d be willing to dress up as a toddler if it meant helping you guys,” Duncan said.
Violet closed her eyes, her hands untying her ribbon and tying it up again. “What if I built a pretend Sunny,”
“Robot?” Sunny mused.
‘Not necessarily a robot but...like a dummy,”
“That could work,” Isadora agreed. “Sunny’s super tiny even though I know she’s a toddler, she’s small for her age and still looks like a big baby...no offense, Sunny. You know I love you,”
“Denada,” Sunny said, shrugging but smiling at the triplet girl.
“We can find a lot of material that’s as big as Sunny,” Duncan announced as Violet nodded.
“No!” Klaus yelled. “Being in each other’s shoes seems like an extremely risky plan! If it fails, not only are we in trouble but you are as well, and who knows what Coach Genghis would do to you?”
I hate to inform you, but, this, as it turns out, was a question that would haunt the orphans for quite some time, but the Quagmires gave it barely a thought. “Don’t worry about that,” Duncan said. “The important thing is to keep you out of his clutches. It may be a risky plan, but being in each other’s shoes is the only thing we’ve been able to think of,”
“And besides, it’s what friends are for,” Isadora explained as Duncan nodded. “You would do the same for us, and you know it,”
Violet looked at her siblings who both slowly nodded their heads. All three siblings knew that the Quagmires were entirely correct.
“Now we don’t wanna waste any time trying to think of something else,” Isadora stated. “Let’s get moving,”
“We need to find material to build a pretend Sunny,” Violet explained.
“Kitchen?” Sunny suggested.
The four older orphans looked at one another and then at Sunny, all nodding their heads at her suggestion.
______________________________________________________
A little before dinner, the children snuck into the deserted kitchen. Violet pushed open the doors. “Coast is clear,” she whispered as Duncan walked in with Klaus’ hand in his. Isadora held tightly to Sunny. Violet waited until all four younger orphans were inside before closing the door slowly. “Duncan…” she whispered. “Can you be look out?”
Duncan gave her a thumbs up. “Okay...find some material to make fake glasses,” Violet whispered as the four others split up.
Almost immediately, Sunny grabbed a pair of egg tongs. “Focals?” she asked her older sister.
“Sunny, you are fucking brilliant,” Violet whispered in reply, rubbing Sunny’s head. “You think you can help me out with that…”
Sunny studied the tongs carefully and replied with a thumbs up.
Klaus grabbed a pair of dishwashing gloves. “These might come in handy,” he whispered.
Violet smiled. “Good job, y’all. You guys are thinking like inventors. Remember there is always something,”
Violet glanced at Sunny. “We need something for the body,” she whispered to Isadora. Isadora looked around the kitchen, her eyes fixating on a big bag of flour.
“Would flour work?” she asked Violet.
Violet glanced from Sunny to the bag of flour. “Hell yeah, it will. Okay. Isadora grab the flour. I’ll carry Sunny and…”
“Fuck,” Duncan whispered. “Someone’s coming,”
Sunny quickly hid behind the bags of flour. Violet and Isadora ran for the pantry, making sure to keep the door slightly ajar, so they can see what was happening. Klaus and Duncan quickly ran behind carts containing clean cookware. All five orphans didn’t dare make a peep as the person entered the kitchen. They couldn’t see who it was because they made sure to keep all the kitchen lights off but all five orphans were pretty sure they knew exactly who it was because they could hear the tapping of her tap shoes.
They listened and watched as the silhouette of Carmelita grabbed a bucket from where Sunny was hiding. Sunny held her breath as Carmelita didn’t notice her and carried the bucket to the dessert case. All five orphans looked at one another as best as they could, utterly confused. They watched as the bully stepped on top of the bucket, take a deep breath, and then plunge her face into a cake covered in powdered sugar. They could hear a few quick sniffing sounds as Carmelita removed her nose from the cake. All five orphans had to suppress and muffle their laughter as they watched the bully, whose nose and mouth was now covered in powder sugar, put the bucket back where she had found it and gave a few quiet sneezes as she exited the kitchen.
Once they were sure the coast was clear, all five children burst out laughing. Isadora laughed so hard that she and Violet fell on to each other. Klaus and Duncan were laughing so hard that they couldn’t breathe and even Sunny, who slowly walked out of her hiding place to meet with her siblings and best friends was laughing so hard that she was wiping tears from her eyes.
“That…” Violet said still laughing.
“Was…” Duncan said chuckling.
“Perfect,” Sunny said practically squealing.
Klaus grabbed the smaller materials as Duncan grabbed Sunny. Isadora grabbed the bag of flour as Violet grabbed a few more random objects that she believed could come in handy and all five children exited the kitchen, heading towards the Orphan Shack laughing their asses off.
The five orphans walked back to the Orphan Shack, they walked nervously from the cafeteria to shack. And although they were laughing at Carmelita’s expense, they were all very nervous. They were nervous because they were not supposed to have snuck into the kitchen to steal materials for an invention. They were nervous because their plan was indeed a risky one. It is not a pleasant feeling, as you and I know, to be nervous, and I would not wish for small children to be any more nervous than Violet Snicket and the Baudelaires and the Quagmires. But I must say that they weren’t nervous enough. They didn’t need to be more nervous about sneaking into the cafeteria, even though it was against the rules. But they should have been far more nervous about their plan, and about what would happen that evening when the sun set on the brown lawn and the sunrise to shine brighter than the luminous circle. They should have been nervous, now, in their regular shoes, about what would happen when they were in each others.
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#misery loves company#violet snicket#violet snicket au#violet baudelaire#klaus baudelaire#sunny baudelaire#count olaf#coach genghis#isadora quagmire#duncan quagmire#carmelita spats#vice principal nero#olivia caliban#jacques snicket#jacquelyn scieszka#larry your waiter#lemony snicket#daniel handler#beatrice baudelaire#beatrice baudelaire ii#bertrand baudelaire#asoue#asoue au#asoue fanfic#asoue fic#asoue fandom#asoue fanbase#asoue movie#asoue netflix#asoue books
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don't even think of eating around here, you cakesniffers! nobody wants to have lunch with people who live in the orphans shack! cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack! cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack! cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack!
#asoueedit#carmelitaspatsedit#asouesource#a series of unfortunate events#carmelita spats#mine#*posters#ughh i had such a block last few months i couldn't finisz this and changed it at least 7 times#still not sure abt it#also i stopped doodling because of my shaky ass hands
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Cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack! Cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack! Cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack!
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"Cake-sniffing orphans in the orphan shack."
"I do not sniff CAKE. I partake in KETAMINE like all the other mal-adjusted parentless teenagers. Also the day you catch me living in a SHACK is the day to lock me up because that would mean I finally went CLINICAL, pal."
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therenmystore: Chick to the bin and make sure the coming months, however this is so sad in my measurement.
elvespretsley2005: Sight was indescribable, for some practice.
therenmystore: Cake sniffing orphans in an orphan shack!
elvespretsley2005: Was indescribable, for some hours, absorbing the remaining eggs, or helping feed the rats, and they were?
therenmystore: Very.
elvespretsley2005: You on the hens all enjoyed some delicious apricot tea and a ring array.
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I'm literally like manic now u guys have no idea I've wanted the vfd tattoo since I was 11 (just haven't gotten it bc I'm Scared)I reread the series every year I know everything about them and I am shook..... cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack!!!!!!!!!!!!
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