#caffine and my meds should *not* mix

[lovesick-puppet]

I feel alone forgotton hated isolated

I feel like I don't know anyone I'm just a stranger

[mechagalaxy]

Bad Case of Crabs

Daniel Scott lay in the Leviathan med bay, not as busy as their enemies in the Spirit of Bunny were, since Leviathan was leading 233 to 61 at this point, but there were enough seriously wounded that after a rough and ready triage (actively dying or just messed up? Right, we’ll get back to you), it was time to address his own wounds.

Outside of the mecha pilots, you didn’t see a lot of people who came in with serious second degree frostbite ( multiple limbs ) with sizeable second degree and spot third degree flame burns at the same time. Life as a mecha pilot in Division One was not safe, not even for the dominant powers of Leviathan and Warlock. Even among those ranks of killers, Daniel Scott ranked among the top, so seeing him dealing with serious injuries and the dumpshock that comes from having your mecha shot out from under you was rare.

His left arm swathed in cool blue Smurfgel antiburn, and his right arm, torso and both legs wrapped in a “Red Witch Snuggly” (Tory’s patented tissue rewarmer), Daniel watched the approach of head nurse Dana Delaney approaching with the single most feared medical implement known to man, woman, or cyborg. The rectal thermometer.

“Sweet Jesus Dana, what do you think you are doing with that? Don’t you have a sensor or something, I mean scan away, another few rads can’t hurt at this point” Daniel’s command voice was weak as he couldn’t fully commit to threatening or pleading, and pulled off neither successfully.

Dana wiggled the ungodly long looking core temperature probe suggestively and laughed at her Commanding Officer gently.

“Oh come on sir, I have taken shrapnel bigger than this out of you plenty of times, and you didn’t bat an eyelash. How can you freak out about this tiny little thing slipping inside to see how warm you are. You are shaking like a leaf, have both frost bite and flame burns, and we need to see if we need to do a full blood rewarm, or just treat for wound shock.”

She tried to unwrap him, and he tried to wiggle away, wincing when his various burned and frostbit tissues got brushed. Out of exasperation, she finally gave in to curiosity.

“Daniel, what the hell happened to you. How did you end up this bad, and why is your whole company filling my trauma center when according to the mess hall rumour mill, it has been pretty much open season on bunny hunting out there?”

Dana’s momentary sincere curiostiy drew a one eyed (the other covered with a frostbite pad) look of injured dignity. He drew himself up to his full, somewhat bedraggled height and stated defiantly.

“It was a bad case of crabs. What is important is that I stopped the rest of the Clan from contracting it”

Dana burst out laughing, her short auburn hair falling across her cheek, and a look of youthful joy came over a face usually filled with a weary, too knowing expression. Daniel got one hand on the thermometer. She looked him straight in the eye and gave him a challenge.

“All right mister, you explain that one. If it isn’t bullshit, I will take your temperature in your ear and trust that with all the damned implants in your head it still means something. If I call bullshit on your crabs story, then you roll over, and we give you the full turkey baster temperature test. Deal?”

Daniel nodded, sighed, and let his burned hand slip off the thermometer.

------Leviathan vs Spirit of Bunny. Clan War 3336 Day 1

“The Spirit of Bunny we have fought before you know. I mean it seems like there are only a few groups crazy enough to fight for the top of the Galaxy. The Bunnies are not tough enough to make it, but they aren’t smart enough to figure it out, or they are crazy enough to not care. They are close, but they aren’t quite in our league. Having said that, they have a lot of dangerous pilots, and this war had a new formation, the 25 tonner, that we haven’t actually seen employed in war before. We have seen the 20 ton formations his guys put out, and they are good, but not, you know, outstanding. We have seen their 30 tonners, but when Charles retired, he took their biggest threat in that class with him.

John Mainer was running a 25 ton formation. He had never really been much of a 20 ton threat. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a pushover, but neither was he what you would call a specialist in it either. We knew from previous pure class KOTM tournements that when you are allowed to bring in only two mecha outside the class, he always brought in two Novum, Hugnin and Munnn, and raised holy hell with them. He was low enough in level, that if his 25 tonners were not something special, our clan could steamroller him, more of us than could take his main, which was getting respectable.

I had two Novum’s myself, and my old ride, my Nerio, along with my Hoplites in my first row. Maximum equipment, weapons that could kills small planets, and they were just my screening force. Behind them I had my Axemen. A solid wall of pure niode killing machines, the Axebots that generally tore through 20 ton formations like an axe through rotting softwood. A mix of Shocklites, Hoplites, Warhorse and Axebots filled the rest of the ranks, but they hardly ever needed to fire a shot. I was going to scout, and see what he had to offer.

That is when the first signs and symptoms of the condition appeared Dana. That is when I feared I was coming down with a…..no…..I can’t say it.”

Daniel took a sip of the offered icewater. Not even caring it had neither the caffine nor the alcohol his body craved. He continued.

“A single Shocklite strode over the crest of the hill, and planted the Bunny banner. It was a brave gesture, but I figured to be slipping it in my Nerio trophy rack in about two minutes, so let them posture. That is when I felt the first touch of, well not fear, but concern.

Two Novums swooped south of the Shocklite. Ok, two for two, and I have a Nerio in reserve. So far so good. Then three Novum swooped to the North of the Shocklite. Before I could do more than bring up my targeting auspex, my Nerio was bobbing and weaving like a punt return football player, as I felt the Novum’s weapon sensors lock up my little blue ass hard.

We were ready, we cut loose with everything we had, and didn’t hit a damned thing. Three of us were dead before we tagged anyone. Finally one of the Hoplites caught a Novum with a Blue Dragon and crit killed the beast, but it just seemed to make the rest of them angry.

That is when the pincers came out. They dove down to the deck now and cut right through us, not just lasers, ice, cannon and flame, but I saw two Novum each snag an arm and leg on my second rank Axebots and play wishbone with him. Like a holiday cracker, only instead of the prize candy falling out, it was Jeffries. I guess you have him here for spinal regen.”

“Those damned crabs killed three lines and cut the forth to shreds before we got them. They burned, blasted, froze, lased and straffed anything that wasn’t bunny. I got the word out though, anyone who wasn’t totally crab proof should stay the hell away. I may have come down with a bad case of crabs, but be damned if it was spreading through the regiment!”

Nurse Dana giggled, the laugh taking a couple of hard decades off her face. Wiggling the rectal thermometer, she put it down, and took my temp with the ear themometer.

“Oh you mecha jocks are all the same. No matter how often we give the lecture about staying safe around strange, you go chasing every bunny in sight and end up coming down with a bad case of crabs. I swear, that is the reason for all those personal hygene videos they made you watch in the Academy”

Daniel closed his eyes and relaxed. The war was won, and Dana was no longer trying to stick a thermometer where the sun didn’t shine. He could live with her laughing at him. She wouldn’t have much time for laughter at all when they faced Warlock.

The Bunnies could enjoy that bright spot while they could, they would get few more. Leviathan owned the field, and the day. It was enough.

John T Mainer 28840