#cafeanniversary22

[jeonqkooks]

my stars at night | knj

You were his stars at night, and his sun at day. Now you’re just… you again.

pairing: namjoon x reader

rating: G

genre/warnings: established relationship, angst

word count: 0.8k

note: (repost cuz it didn’t show up in the tags the last time) written for @btswritingcafe​’s specialty coffee anniversary event, this piece is based off the song ‘let me know’ and my first namjoon fic! kinda an angsty idea that popped into my head as i went over the lyrics </3

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Namjoon knows. He’s known for a while now, actually.

He recognizes it in the way that you don’t have that same spark in your eyes anymore every time you look at him. He feels it in the way you don’t gravitate toward him for comfort when you’re sleeping, like you used to. He senses it in the absence of warmth in your touch, the stiffness of the silence that hangs between you two, the unspoken detachment from you who no longer feels the same way toward him as you once did.

He knows it all too well, because he’s fallen out of love with you too.

For him, it started when you stopped being the first person that he wanted to tell whenever he received good news. It wasn’t a conscious decision; one day, Namjoon woke up and you weren’t the first thing on his mind. Over time, you weren’t even the second, or third…

He’s not sure why or how it happened. He didn’t have an epiphany and there was never any explosive argument that led to this. The feelings simply… went away.

You’ve known each other for years; you’ve spent two of them as friends, three as lovers. It’s familiar, it’s routine… It’s hard to break from a habit.

It’s even harder when all of your future plans involve that person, because you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with them. Your supposed other half.

He remembers feeling like this after he finished university. The lack of structure for the first time in his life. Back then, the bachelor degree on his resumé signified the end of his education. No more classes to attend, no more assignments to deliver, no more exams to cram for. There was nothing anymore, and it was a terrifying realization—cruising through life with nothing to ground him.

Then you walked into his life. You became his anchor.

Maybe we're all just a bunch of fools,

Everyone lives with a love that has come to an end.

You must be feeling it too, right? The same dread that follows him everywhere and haunts his every waking moment. It’s there when he brushes his teeth, when he reaches for your favorite ice cream at the grocery store, when he goes to the museum and stands in awe in front of all the art that you used to outshine.

There’s a part of you in everything Namjoon does, but no longer does your name echo with every beat of his heart. You’ve become so intertwined in every aspect of his life that he can’t remember how the world used to operate before you. How is he supposed to cut you out and go back to that—whatever it was?

This relationship has run its course, and both of you are too reluctant to admit it. Your love is still lying on the operation table. You’ve tried everything to revive it, but blood won’t rush to the heart anymore. It flatlined a long time ago, but the corpse is still there, with you and him on either side of the table, unwilling to drape that dreadful white cloth over it.

You’re both just staring at it but not at each other, feeling the same emptiness that seeps into your bones and reminds you of when you used to be in love.

It's not that I still have feelings for you

I know we can't work out, but why does it feel like I'm aching?

You were his stars at night, and his sun at day. Now you’re just… you again.

Namjoon is only delaying the inevitable. Eventually, he’ll lose a lover, a friend, a part of him that only exists because of you. Eventually, he’ll have to face that pit of despair again, when you’ll no longer be the thing that anchors him. It feels like sinking, but upwards.

Maybe he isn’t even grieving the loss of your love; maybe he’s trying to hold onto the person he was when he loved you. Maybe you’re doing the same thing.

As he sits in the living room of your shared apartment, he prepares himself for another night of ingenuine smiles and touches depleted of love. This was a home once; now it’s only four walls that cage the both of you in.

But then, you come home with an odd look in your eyes, and he’s sure that you know it now.

Perhaps you’ve even known longer than he has.

If it were up to him, he would never take the first leap, no matter how miserable he’ll inevitably become. That’s always been the difference between the two of you; you’re both afraid, but only one of you has the courage to face that fear.

The words that slip from your mouth hammers the last nail into the coffin, lowers it down into a grave that’s been dug months ago, tosses handfuls of dirt onto the casket and lets it be buried forever, only to be reminisced but never touched ever again.

“We need to talk.”

If there are hellos, then there's bound to be goodbyes?

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means.

[btswritingcafe]

Welcome to Btswritingcafe’s Specialty Coffee Anniversary Event.

For this event we highlight two exciting anniversaries: Btswritingcafe’s 3rd anniversary as a network and BTS’ 9th anniversary.

How we want to incorporate both of these anniversaries is by hosting an event that highlights our cafe theme while focusing on BTS b-side tracks.

Want to get involved? Read on for more information!

— DETAILS

There will be three categories that contain various b-side tracks. A lyric will be listed that is meant to be the basis for a fic.

The lyric can be transformed into a fic however the writer chooses. As long as it is incorporated in some form, that is the main goal.

The b-side tracks are meant to highlight songs of BTS that deserve all the love.

You are not restricted to the one lyric that is listed on this post. This is just a starting point.

Only one person can write for one song.

Each fic should be at least 500 words.

— HOW TO APPLY

Read the entirety of this post.

You do not need to be a member to participate. However, you must follow the network if you are not currently a member.

Like and Reblog this post.

Read our network guidelines for posting fics.

Fill out application.

Tag your fic during posting fic with the tag #cafeanniversary22

There will be an event discord in order for us to communicate about this collab. If you do not have a discord please let us know in the application and we will make it work!

— SPECIALTY COFFEE MENU

coffee beverages

Let Me Know | “The promises we made disappeared with the time we spent together, The dominos have fallen with our breakup.”

Coffee | “Breaking up was like a bitter americano, My memories still go to that cafe.”

Embarrassed | “I was too shy to become your sun so I became a cold moon. But afterwards, I keep making a wave of blankets on top of my ocean bed.”

Boyz With Fun | “The fun boys go until the dawn moon sets. This is so fun, all fakeness has gone home. So even if you’re tone-deaf or rhythm-deaf. It doesn’t matter, throw your timidness away.”

Am I Wrong | “Am I wrong, fallin' in love with you. Tell me am I wrong.”

tea beverages

Ma City | “You’re my summer autumn, Winter and every spring.”

Sea | “Where there is hope, there is always trial.”

House Of Cards | “A house made of cards, and us, inside, Even though the end is visible. Even if it’s going to collapse soon.”

Whalien 52 | “An endless signal will reach someday. Everywhere, even to the other side of the earth.”

134340 | “Beyond the fog, I watch you as you continue to smile, Without you or anything, There’s no meaning to my irregular orbit.”

baked goods

Butterfly | “You're there but for some reason, I can't reach you.”

21st Century Girls | “Whatever other people say, Whatever this world tells you, You’re the best to me just the way you are.”

Moving On | “Goodbye to this place, that we grew attached to, Let’s move. Now to a higher place.”

Best Of Me | “You got the best of me, you got the best of me. It's not important if it's a dream or reality. Only the fact that you're by my side.”

Lost | “Even if I'm slow I will walk with my own feet, Because I know this path is mine to take.”

— TIMELINE

April 18th - April 23 | application is open.

April 24th | application closed and admins send out messages regarding event information.

April 24th - June 12th | fic writing commences.

June 13th - June 19th | posting week

June 20th | masterlist posted