#cael sorrin

[jedimasteramell]

I commissioned the awesome @damarlegacy to draw my SIS Jedi disaster, Cael Sorrin! Im so happy to see him finally the worn-af bun-toting havent-shaved-in-2-days disaster he actually is. Thank you so much bab♡♡♡

[uldren-sov]

DAY SIX

Following along with the prompts from here

DAY 6: awkward kiss | morning kiss Hey remember how Cael is ffffff abysmal at something despite being a spy? CHARACTERS: @jedimasteramell ‘s Cael and Astra who’s mine.

It was always so ...

Lord Lucien Felth might have been one of the most beautiful people Astra has ever laid her Pureblood eyes on. Tall, perfect dark hair, romantic gold eyes, and even that scar didn’t take away from his beauty. People stared when he wasn’t in his Sith robes and armor or they noticeably looked away away from him to ensure they weren’t caught staring when he was. Truly, he was a work of art, and he was hers, hers, hers.

It was always so disappointing, then, that he simply could not figure out how to use those perfect lips of his for anything worthwhile.

The fact alone that they were “romantic” was more by her design, everything generally was. She caught him, she lured him in, she kissed his lips not six months ago, and made him hers. Even so he was by far the most inexperienced, uninspired, bore of a lover that she ever had the misfortune to know. Not for her lack of trying! She tried consoling herself with that, at least, he was something of a good student, at times. He remembered things halfway. He got the gist, as they say, of most of her instructions. It was frustrating that every token of affection was yet another lesson.

Even now, together again after not seeing each other for a week on a lush tropical world, she imagined the scenario to be whisked away into the thick of the lush plethora of vivid, kaleidoscopic, flora; the perfect minute escape to steal affection away from the prying eyes of the Imperials, and bask in a vivacious, illicit, affair of stolen ardor.

And yet he marched quite literally past her with naught but a “there’s much to do,” before he was gone.

“Excuse me!” she snapped her fingers in case her words alone didn’t catch his attention. He stopped, the black robe settling against his frame before slowly turning around to regard her. “We haven’t seen each other in at least a week and you have nothing else to say? Nothing else to do?” She arched her eye ridge, staring at him archly as she watched him sigh.

In truth, she found herself caught up in her own lie more often than not, to bring about a faux entitlement that all Sith carried themselves with she had to believe it at least in part. She still heard the words she was saying, heard the thoughts she was thinking, and had to wonder if it was worth it. They kissed and it was just as wooden and uptight as all the others, his mouth hardly yielded to hers, his hands stayed firmly at his own sides, he let a kiss happen and she tried to make a kiss in the first place. It was how it went between them. When she pulled away she still huffed indigently and sashayed past him despite a near painful .

She needed to play the game, needed to act the princess, and needed to dote on her “lover” for all this to work. She was not going back to life before she was Sith, if it meant dealing with this "relationship” with all this underlying tension, then it was a worthy tradeoff.

At least he was pretty.

It wasn’t completely as though she detested the man, quite the contrary. There were moments of brilliance from him, moments of depth and consideration that kept her intrigued. The moments, though, were few and far between where most of the time he seemed the brute. Even now, in following his master’s orders he was ruthlessly efficient and brutal in his execution of demands. Not a single person was left in his wake.

Yet ... He’d find ways to serve his own goals out of a mission, deny other parties from taking advantage of him, and prove he’s perfectly capable of fighting smarter than just kill everyone and everything. More than anything, as well, for some reason - despite his apparent disinterest in her - he never let any harm come to her. There were key people they’ve also met where he was surprisingly considerate and even compassionate to. It kept her intrigued enough to not hate everything about their acting setup as it were. But now? Now he seemed determined to detract away from her complimentary thinking by being the Brute once more.

She didn’t understand it. They walked through ancient ruins alongside each other, he was attentive, curious, and even appreciative of her research as she walked through environs thousands of years old.

“You almost have a glow about you, you know,” he mentioned offhandedly amidst the silence. She picked herself up, balancing precariously on a ruined pillar that could, truly, only support her own weight, and regarded him as she rested her hand over her stomach.

“In what manner, darling? Indeed, I hope I am positively glowing as I am around such company,” she even dared to wink. Even in the lowlight she saw his cheeks warm to a pretty pink color. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“In your element,” he said, clarifying with a clearing of his throat. “This isn’t just a job for you, it’s a passion. It's a sight to behold.” He finally met her gaze, gold-to-gold, and her heart skipped a beat. There he was again. This other Lucien who was considerate and passionate and expressed it in this way that didn’t mean people had to die.

“I never knew you were such a romantic, darling,” she teased gently to cover over how she earnestly she took his words. It was ridiculous, really, better to leave affection at the door. Even so, she did trust him didn’t she? They had each other’s back more times than she could count, most notably was how many times he had outright saved her life, even at great cost to himself.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he said in a small voice, quickly averting his eyes and turning from her. Surely, he was just being shy as he was wont to do at times when he decided to be tender. She peeked over, down to him, from her place on high atop the pillar as she delicately cleared her throat to call his attention. It worked famously and at seeing her so high up - her bridge to the pillar had crumbled to dust, no matter - he sighed and stood close to it’s base and held his arms out.

She sat at the edge, checked one last time as to his position, and then pushed herself off. Within seconds and with a grunt from him, she was caught in his arms. She smiled to herself at their little tradition and chuckled as pleasantly as she could manage despite his dour expression. She laced her arms around his neck as a response and drew herself in oh so close.

“Come now, darling, surely you enjoy keeping me off my feet,” it was a bit more double entendre than she had meant but she was immediately reminded as to the years they’ve known each other, the stress they’ve undertaken together, the fact she decreed they were dating months ago, and these were the only instances of her feet being kept off the floor.

...perhaps not for long. She drew his head down and kissed him as heated as she could. Sealing her lips to his she tangled her digits in his short black hair, angling his head, holding him close, as she drew him even further into the press of her mouth. Wooden again, and clutching onto her too tightly, he pressed hard enough, at least for a moment, to catch both their teeth against one another which made her jerk her head away and hold her mouth.

She held her hand up when he opened his mouth to apologize.

“No, no, it’s fine. Just let me down and we shall be on our way, shall we?” she escaped from his grasp and heard a beleaguered sigh from behind her as well as his acquiescence.

At least he was pretty.

[jedimasteramell]

Three Ways To Say I Love You

Happy RP-nniversary to my dear @uldren-sov. Its been so amazing and I’m beyond appreciative of every story and moment that we’ve had together, and for all my words I can’t explain just how much all of this has meant to me, how much I’ve enjoyed it all, and how awesome it is to have you as a friend. Thank you so much <3

Original Characters // SFW // SWTOR

-------------------

i. Daya & Tal

Daya nursed her cup of caf and blinked slowly out across the pinks and purple dudes of a spring Tatooine sunrise. Not yet did she allow the plans for the day to run amok in her head, rather, she savored the freshly-bought beans, the cool scent of the air filter, and the soft beating of foot prints that could only belong to one person.

Wrapping his arms around her, Talcyn rested his head on her shoulder with a yawn, content to return to sleeping right then and there. “You get up too early.” Sleepily, he whined, burying his face into the crook of her neck. 

“Oh habits are hard to break, sleepyhead.” Affectionately, she pressed a kiss into his auburn hair. “Kids more so than military training.”

He huffed in response, muffled by the soft skin of her neck. Tal ran his hands along her waist and down her arms, stealing away the mug of caf. He took a sip over her shoulder, and made a face. She laughed as she took it back from him. 

“Too much sugar?” She teased.

Tal brushed his fingers past her navel, rolling his head back to look her in the eye; gold like the sands in the sunlight meeting the first pale blue light of morning. “I don’t know how you drink that,”

“I can make you a cup.” Daya started to move away but Tal held her fast, and they both watched the twin suns rise up over the horizon. 

“Did you know I’d basically fallen in love with you by the time we left Coruscant?” Tal said, a loving whisper in her ear bearing the comfort of years of companionship.

“So you like to say.” She smiled, and careful of her horns, leaned her head against his. They were quiet a minute more.

“Hey Tal?” 

“Yes love?” 

“Thanks.” With a murmur, Daya set her mug down, laying her arms over his, basking in the low light and their love.

“You’ll have to be more specific.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to her neck. “What about?”

“For coming to talk to me, offer your help, all those years ago on Ord Mantel.” Ever the romantic, she sighed dreamily, snuggling back into his embrace. “I dont know where I’d be without you that day.”

“Well not at home with such a handsome husband and beautiful family. A far more average looking one, most like.” He huffed at the humorous and ludicrous thought: he’d always be Daya’s, and her always his.

Daya laughed, shielding her eyes as the light flooded their little kitchen. “Love you too.”

ii. Astra & Cael

It’d been a long time since Cael had figured to call himself a jedi. Once he was more Sith he supposed, but now, now he was simply himself, at his own peace and balance. 

And with Astra, always with Astra. 

He broke his casual meditation to steal a glance at the darling woman fiing her jewelry in the mirror by the refresher. Even traveling the galaxy as artifact hunters, or well, an overeager archaeologist and her partner the bodyguard, Astra kept herself in beautiful shape, fierce and stunning as much in battle or in an excavation as she did dressed up for a party, or just waking up on their ship. He caught the flash of the worn gold wedding band, and his heart hopped with pleasure. 

Feeling him down their bond, one more pronounced and lasting than the metal ring on her finger, she turned and smiled, narrowing her bright yellow eyes as she sauntered over, well aware at how much he appreciated the sway of her hips. 

“You can touch too if you want.” She teased, stepping up behind him, tilting his head back with both hands to kiss him upside down. 

“You’re insatiable.” A charming and lazy grin split his lips, and he blinked at her affectionately.

“And you’ve had so much practice now, You’ve gotten immeasurably better.” She matched his expression with a wicked grin of her own, playfulness sparking through her eyes. 

Cael groaned, and a blush reached his cheeks before he could stop himself. “That’s true, but honestly Astra, you can’t judge me so harshly, you were my first after all.”

“I try and forget about it.” She grimaced good-naturedly, but there remained a kernel of truth there. Stars he’d been really bad at well.... everything. 

If only to dispel his embarrassment, Cael huffed a laugh and turned, so, still on his knees, he faced Astra, his hands on the back of her legs. “Thank you.” 

“You dont have to thank me for touching me darling, as potent as I am.” She responded wryly, running her scarlet fingers through his dark hair. Cael continued smiling, their banter was half the fun.

“Thank you for staying, when I gave you every reason not to ever trust me again.” 

Her toying expression softened, he’d never stop punishing himself. Maybe that was unnecessary, but it remained proof of his conviction. She knew the truth, could sense it intrinsically in the connection between them. “Thank you for giving me reasons not to.”

iii Azred & Jac

Jac hit the ground with a cloud of dust and an ‘oof’.

His training saber spun away from him across the dirt, as he sensed Azred’s slow prowl come to a halt several paces from him. Jac felt worry, and then humor when he gave the other jedi a cheeky grin, coming off his partner, and readily accepted the hand that he sensed offered.

‘You alright?’ Azred’s thought stole his attention from whatever the older master was saying to the assembled group.

‘Seems like were back to being even.’ Jac rolled his shoulders nonchalantly, amused at Az’s stray reaction to his dust covered robes. 

‘No Im definitely up by one now.’ Az shot back, ‘I beat you also back when we were at that conference on Corellia.’ 

‘Beating me when I didn’t know we were dueling doesn’t count.’ Jac protested in thought.

“Tal’zayor, Lenn. Are you two paying any attention to what Im saying?” The sharp tone of the Battlemaster, punctured the private conversation between the two young knights. Az at least had the deference to look ashamed. 

“We were Master, I apologize on behalf of my friend here.” Azred quickly replied with a nod of defference.

‘Kiss-ass.’

‘Just an ass.’

Unaware of the boy’s private conversation, the older Jedi continued addressing the assembled padawans. “As I was saying, if we examine Knight Lenn’s form you can clearly see....” 

Yawn! Already, Jac tuned him back out, getting a small sense of shame for the act, not sure if it was from Azred, or simply Az’s influence on him. 

‘You really should be paying attention, he’s making some good points about your balance.’ Az scolded him mentally again.

‘Yes, master, of course master, I’ll do better next time master.’ If there weren’t other’s around, Jac would have flourished to complete his exaggeration. He felt Az hold back a laugh. 

‘You’re just grumpy because you’re hungry.’ Even as a thought, Jac picked up the amusement and affection in Az’s voice. About to protest, his stomach rumbled. Azred actually laughed. 

“Im sure Ive missed the joke,” The master turned towards the two of them, the picture of sternness and patience, a balance jac had never managed to find “Just what was so funny?”

“Sorry master, it was me.” Cutting off Az, Jac offered a deeper bow than Az had earlier. “It’s nothing you said, Im just... hungry.”

Jac couldn’t see, but he liked to imagine the old jedi rolled his eyes. “Fine fine.” Came the good-natured response, “Class is dismissed, lets all find something to eat before Jacoac here faints from lack of lunch.”With a murmur of chuckles at Jac’s expense, the cluster of padawans broke off, following the familiar path back to the temple. 

As the group left, Jac tried to elbow Az, missing mostly, but the point got across. ‘You're welcome.’ After so long, thought-sharing came with far more instinct than speaking aloud did.

A surge of affection and teasing rushed down the bond, wrapping around Jac as assuredly as if he’d stepped into a sunbeam and Az had embraced him simultaneously. What a pleasure it was to know they had each other. ‘Whatever would I do without your quick thinking?’ Az hummed absently, and in their privacy, dared an arm across Jac’s shoulder’s pulling the taller man close. ‘Im glad you're here.’ 

Jac left Az to imagine that, flushing with the warmth of the contact, ‘Glad to be so.’

[jedimasteramell]

omnia cum pretio

Theron Shan, Original Characters // Pre-Umbara // SFW

The life of a spy is never easy, the choices they make are never without their consequences, everything has its price.

For @uldren-sov‘s SW Elora. 

------------------

“So that’s that. You’re not going to talk me out of it?”

“I’m not.”

Theron exhaled the breath he felt like he’d been holding for weeks, a hard rush of air that tasted like guilt. Pacing in the small room, he picked at the seam of his glove before running the leather through his thrice disheveled hair. Habit forced Theron to find a measure of serenity; breathe and exhale. Alright. He tossed a frown his companions way, and searched his friend's expression for a tell of a lie. “Why?”

Cael crossed his knees, seated at Theron’s small couch; his fingers knit together before the hard line of his mouth. “Because I would do the same thing, and that's why you asked me. Not Jonas, not Lana, not Astra. Me.”

A line waving indecisively between a grimace and a thankful smile, cracked Theron’s expression. It was true. “You're probably right. Hell, even I might talk myself out of it.”

“You won’t.” Cael replied simply, even as his heart twisted in empathy for his friend. “You made your choice before you told me Theron… but can I give you some advice?” In the years now that they’d known each other, Cael could never recall seeing Theron this concerned. They’d done a lot, for SIS, for the Republic, for the Alliance, and in it, he speculated that only one person knew more about his vulnerabilities than Theron did.

That there was probably the actual reason Theron opted to tell Cael: he could read anyone, and very little got past him. If anyone were to unravel his secrets and throw a gravwrench into his plans, it would be Cael. It was almost a relief though, to have someone who could figure him out. Stars knew he couldn't understand himself sometimes. As for the advice… The strategist in him needed to be prepared, but the friend in him blanched at the memory of the harshness of the choices that Cael had, and continued, to live through. “Shoot.”

“Your relationship with El will never be the same, and you’ll need to come to terms with that.”

Cael’s words hit him with all the grace and delicateness of a frigate, blunted with the weight of personal experience. Elora… fuck… the thought of hurting her…. “I know…”

“You really don’t Theron.” Gaze having drifted somewhere to the near and distant past, Cael interrupted his fellow spy sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose, just above his scar. “You really don’t. This isn't to talk you out of it but…” The Jedi’s expression twisted with pain, a deep-seated guilt that would never leave him, no matter the years of dedication and love. “She’ll always know you’re a liar, that never goes away. Even if Elora understands how much the Alliance, this fight, how much it means to you….” Cael shook his head with a long sigh weighty with ill-won wisdom. “She’ll always know you chose not to trust her, not to include her, and no explanation of the greater good, of the need for the secrecy, no amount of apologies, will ever make up for the damage that does to a person.”

If the situation weren’t so grave, Cael might have found within himself an ironic laugh. He patted the couch next to him, if only so Theron wouldn’t wear a gully in the floor with his pacing.

Torn for a moment, preferring to pace, Shan obliged finally, flopping into the worn cushion with his head in his hands. El…. Spies weren't supposed to fall in love, weren't supposed to be emotionally compromised like this. After her father, after her masters, after everything they’d been through in the last six years… to hurt her so definitely, to add to every scar she already carried, even after quiet nights with soft kisses and darling promises, intimate vulnerability and affection-filled worship that brought them to the pale hours of the morning… Cael was right… he’d made his choice: to hurt her to save her, to hurt himself, to hurt them.

Theron tried to smile and failed, biting the corner of his mouth so hard as to draw blood to stave off the tears, his heart in his throat hammering nail by nail into his self-built coffin. “Bit of a mess aren’t I?” The self-deprecating barb tasted bitter, and not just from the iron on his tongue.

Cael’s shoulders sagged in empathy, his own partial smile far more convincing. “Pretty sure that’s a requirement for the SIS at this point.”

“Ex-SIS.” A choking bark of laughter squeezed out past the heart wedged in Theron’s throat. Don’t cry. “If the Director knew what kind of asses we made out of ourselves we’d have been out of a job years ago.” Don’t cry, don’t cry, you haven’t cried in years, not even after Jace. Don’t cry, don’t...

Not about to argue that, Cael put an arm around Theron’s shoulder, surprised when Theron dragged him into a despairing hug. “You're going to live Theron, you both will.” He murmured into the shadows beyond his friend, a steady hand a comfort on his shuddering back. “I won’t lie and say it’ll be just as it was, but if you two love each other as much as you seem too… you’ll get back there, eventually.” By Cael’s judgement, El wasn’t anywhere near as capricious as Astra was. They probably wouldn't take the seven years him and Astra had… probably.

“I love her so much.” Theron choked out, the confession muffled by Cael’s shoulder. His grip on his friend tightened. “I love her enough that Id die for her.”

“I know.” Cael assured, rubbing calming circles into Theron’s back in time with the other man’s inhale-exhale’s designed to force an even heartbeat; Cael recognized the jedi technique.  

At last Theron sat back, pulling away, his eyes red. Promptly, he covered them with a hand. “Thanks.”

Cael’s sad smile went unseen, and the understood ‘you’re welcome’, unspoken. “Is there anything you need me to do?” He asked quietly, already guessing at the answer.

“No, no, I’ve got to do this alone.” His tone rough from effort and emotion, Theron sighed, once, twice, and dropped his hand to his lap, foregoing the urge to return to fiddling with the seams along the glove. “Just... play along. Pretend we’re any kind of normal.”

As if either of them could ever hope to resemble anything close to normalcy. “When is going to happen?”

“A month, or less.” Voice thick and heavy with resignation, Theron replied. “Umbara. I’ve got everything in motion, I had to organize it, only way they’d believe me.” Don’t you dare cry again… “You’ll know…. Thanks.” He said again.

“You know I’m here for your Theron.”

Finally back to a modicum of self control, Theron raised his hazel eyes to Cael’s golden ones. “Yeah… I know… And it… it means a lot.” He squeezed his eyes shut, the resolve when he opened them almost enough to shroud the pain.

“You’ll be okay.” Cael pressed, mimicking the conviction he’d picked up from Balker.

But Theron didn’t care about himself, he cared about Elora being okay, being alone like she hadn’t in so long, not having him there when the nightmares came, or sleep failed to take her. He cared about El not falling into self-destruction, the rage she half-hated half-feared eating at her until she exploded. He cared about El eventually finding out the truth… and being hurt afresh because he hadn’t trusted her. Theron didn’t give a fuck about how this hurt him, what marks this already left on his messy worn soul, he cared about the woman he would go to the ends of the galaxy for, the woman that made his heart calm and stomach warm with every look, touch, and kiss. He cared about Elora Makiir, whom he’d give every second of every potential future too.

“Yeah... yeah… I’ll be okay.”

[jedimasteramell]

A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away…. (Part 1)

[jedimasteramell]

post somnia; veritas

Theron Shan, Original Characters // Post Umbara // SFW

After the dreams, all that’s left is truth.

Umbara really should have just been called ‘the sad train’. A short companion piece to omnia cum pretio, and a direct sequel to this fic.

Once more for @uldren-sov & their SW Elora whom I like to torture with angst.

------------------------

The low ping of his holo messages and the ticklish warning from his implants pulled Theron out of his (mostly) failed attempt to meditate. Immediately the sensation chased away all the disparate bits of collectedness he’d tried to hold on to, throwing off the calm blanket of meditation and back to the startling now. A now of low engine noise, the dazzlingly common show of lightspeed, and the ache in his heart.

Habit had him check the time. 48 standard minutes since he’d knelt. Could be worse.

Theron’s knees protested as he picked himself up off the lukewarm deck, muscles full of little pinpricks as the blood flowed unimpeded again. The flashing light of his holomail beat in time with his pulse. He shouldn’t expect but-

A furious skim through his messages and Theron dropped the breath he’d been holding. A dozen messages, Lana, Jonas, Lixell…. Nothing from El.

He didn’t know why that surprised him, he did know why it hurt.

In a long moment of vulnerability, he’d recorded her message across the holonet to him. In their years never had he seen her so defeated, so open, so… slowly falling into heartbreak, begging him to come home.

Home. Drawing a steadying breath, he shut his eyes and closed the holos. It wouldn't be like her to send a thousand desperate messages, to plead and beg for him to return, proclaiming her love and her paint. That one call was enough and more. She showed the galaxy just how much he meant to her. And his repayment was silence. It was both foolhardy and selfish to hope she’d contact him again.

Turning from the console, he debated sleep (restless) or meditation (sore knees) again, to fully prep for playing along with the Order. None of the options sounded at all fulfilling.

His holo pinged again, and his heart jumped into his throat in time with the noise. Temporarily distracted from making his choice between sleep and meditation, Theron’s pulse drummed against the inside of his skull and he hesitated just a moment over the inbox button. It wouldn’t be her….

Indeed it was not El. In flashing Aubresh an overwhelming piece of spam opened before him. ‘YOUVE BEEN PREAPPROVED FOR A NO-CREDIT DOWN PURCHASE OF A VACATION HOME ON EXOTIC MAKEB!’ glowed aggressively. Scowling as he swallowed the sour stone in his mouth, Theron almost deleted the message before he caught a series of typos in the first line… intentional typos. A long-since disused SIS cipher.

It didn’t take very long, and it provided a lovely little diversion for the time being, slowly but surely, a message unfolded. One from Cael.

‘Theron’ it began. ‘I’m going to hope you didn’t delete this and instead you figured it out. It took me a while to write this all out you know. Anyway, I wanted to remind you of a few things while you’re off playing cult member: the first is that I support you, and I’ll continue to support you. You’re one of my dearest friends and I know painfully well what this is like. The fogginess will subside, your concentration will come back, that anxious weight in your gut? Yeah that’s staying there. The second is an apology, I’ve broken in part my promise. Astra knows, not that I could hide anything from her anymore. She’s furious, but it’s out of worry for you more than a being left out of the loop. She’s coming around, and she understands what’s on the line. Lastly, I want you to know that we’re taking care of her.’ Theron noted with a painful flip of his stomach Cael hadn’t said her name. ‘The best we can… I’m not going to go over word for word, distract you from what you're doing, so don't ask me to, but we’re all here for her as I am for you.’

Though he knew it in his own best interest, Theron wished Cael had deigned to detail El’s state of mind. She was why he was doing this after all; to put a definitive foot down, to give her the peace she deserved, the galaxy that was finally worthy of the efforts she bled for. It felt like everything he’d done in part since they met on Manaan had been for her. He’d known she was full of will and absolutely stunning back then when she merely took his breath away, now she was that and so much more.

Tearing his thoughts from her, he went back to the hidden message. ‘If anything important arises, I’ll keep you posted, look out for more tantalizing adverts to lovely scenic planets! Anyway, take care Theron, we’ll be here when you get back, and so will she.’ Cael neglected to sign off, as was his precedent.

When he was sure there was nothing else hidden in the message, Theron clicked delete, staring for a long while at the now motionless comm. The unchanging module a mark to the end of his distractions.

Turning back to small cabin of his ship, a glance to the clock that counted down his hours until the next act, Theron pulled off his gloves and threw his jacket over the pilot's seat. A return to meditation eluded him, so sleep it would be. Settling on the edge of the cot, he kicked off his boots, a resigned thud on the steel of the ship floor, letting them stay where they landed. Sighing to the empty space and the stars that races by far overhead. Theron debated pulling up the records of El in his implant, going through all the reasons he had to succeed in his mind, but finally, forced himself to not wallow in what they had been and worry about what the would be.

Setting the frequency of his implant to hum at a barely-perceivable level, a white noise to drown out his thoughts, Theron willed himself to an uncomfortable sleep.

And he both hoped, and hoped he wouldn’t dream about her once more.  

[jedimasteramell]

Fives Times, Cael & Astra

Original Characters // SWTOR // SFW

The four times Cael missed Astra’s birthday, and the one time he didn’t.

Sorry @uldren-sov this was so late lol, happy extra-extra-belated birthday

————

i.

Balmorra is nothing but pitted earth, colicoid slime, and a pervasive sensation of frustration bordering on hopelessness; from the Balmorrans and Imperials both. After more than three weeks here, Cael could go another life without experiencing any more of it. Maybe if he could get more sleep it would help.

How painfully ironic that Baras was using him to hunt down his own loose ends embedded in the Republic? The murder of Rylon’s son stung him somewhere under the impassivity he’d been trained in. A Sith would have done it, and that what he was now wasn’t he? Astra had disapproved, as she did of many of his decisions. It’d been months since they met on Korriban and she remained as evasive to his scrutiny as she was to attacks during battle. And yet despite that, or mayhaps in spite of it, he’d yet to shake her. Astra had a game of her own, and he’d yet to figure if it was in his interest to play it with her or leave the board all together.

As if summoned, Cael heard her melodic drawl. “Lucien, there you are.”

“Astra.” He greeted curtly, stiffening as she brushed her fingers across his arm, mentally damning that the reaction was not entirely an act. Of every impulse he could restrain, the way he felt about being touched escaped his control more often than he was comfortable with.

She smiled in response, the barest hint of teeth feline and tsked. “It wouldn’t hurt you to pretend you weren’t so petulant all the time.”

Lucien rolled his eyes, scoffing, though his retort curled the corner of his mouth. “And what would you do if I weren’t so?”

Astra’s eyes narrowed wickedly and she flicked her hair back, golden jewelry sparking in the glow of the morning. “Fall into another’s heroic arms I suppose.”

At the memory of the other day, he summoned a flush to his cheeks. Let her think she had any power over him, that she knew who the ‘real’ Lucien was. The gesture seemed to satisfy Astra who rolled her neck and walked away towards her dashade. As she went, Cael watched and mused. For him to truly trick her, he needed to know her, and yet after months he knew nothing personal: not a last name, not an age, not even the planet she grew up on.

Seems his choice was to play the game.

ii.

A fast flight from Dromund Kaas with a half-dead Astra was not how Cael planned on continuing his day.

He’d meant to arrive with gusto, a lord, confidant, working past his months of fumbling through Alderaan and Nar Shaddaa. But all that went out the window taking her to safety, half guiding, half carrying her to his ship. She muttered things like ‘Thanaton’ ‘punishment for Zash’ and ‘doesn’t know I’m alive’. Part of him even wanted to believe the glimmer of recognition in her eyes was of appreciation as he led her up the gangplank and order Quinn to take off

Even after they cleared atmo, and the inertia shifted with the jump to lightspeed, the little twist in Cael’s heart hadn’t subsided. Keeping his expression a stern mask of unconcern, his thoughts kept slipping back to Astra asleep in his quarters.

He’d fallen so far into this game, times like these he cursed under the lull of the engines how distracted he’d become from the bigger picture. Astra came to him. She’d never done that before. In truth, he’d been the one that needed her assistance, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that had they not met on Korriban she’d have come this far regardless. Crafty, charming, an impressive actress, she’d survive, for it seemed that was what she did.

The knot in his chest tightened uncomfortably. A slick blade of cold guilt he had to toss away. Now was not the time to consider any of this. He should have never gotten this close to begin with, not to apoint where her memory wormed into his thoughts, when her smile and teasing glare was enough to blow him off course.

If Master Sen knew he’d order her death and Cael would have to comply, eliminate Astra before she became a sympathetic person in his eyes. There would be no deep questions, no pursuit of her past, no extraneous interest, or so Cael resolved himself.

Just why did that knife keep turning?

iii.

Strange how much Corellia reminded him of Balmorra, or maybe not strange at all, the carnage, separated by space and stars replicated itself over and over on each world with a breathable atmosphere. Strange how he’d gotten so used to the smoke, sounds of distant buildings tumbling to the ground, the chorus of screams and blaster fire, and the bodies in the millions; so much so that it didn’t faze him anymore. He wished he could attribute it to his composure as a Jedi, but that was a lie. A part of him had died somewhere.

Shame the rest of him refused to follow suit.

A huff from behind him, signaled Astra’s arrival, having followed him out of the spaceport. He readjusted his composure as she stopped next to him, arms crossed and her own expression unreadable as she stared out over the burning city. In her winged armor, glowing with the hazy orange-reds of the sunset and the fleeting light glittering off her jewelry, she looked like an angel of death to him. The fire in her golden eyes matched the flames eating at the city.

His heart stirred, a painful tightening of the only emotion he seemed to feel these days: guilt. Guilt for lying to her, guilt for planning to disassemble everything she and the rest of the Empire worked for. Guilt for falling in love with her and letting her see it.

Seeming to have resolved herself, Astra looked up to him, a cat-like expression on her face, and something else maybe. “Just this last place and we’ll be through with Thanaton and Baras.” Cured of the crippling effects the Sith spirits had on her body, fearlessly ready to win the Kaggath, her devious spark had come back in full. Her fingers danced up his arm, and while he stiffened, just as he always had, no longer was it from inexperience or reluctance. Though that part of him was true enough, she always seemed to enjoy that boyish aspect of Lucien. “Try not to look so excited.”

Cael summoned a small smile just for her, and Astra accepted it, strolling down the ramp towards the Imperial outpost. There was a confidence in her he wished he could mirror, and only the smallest spark of curiosity of what she’d been planning when he caught up with her in the spaceport. Only one way to find out. He followed after her, a large, dark shadow in her wake.

The ringing of her comm brought her to a pause, answering it to the miniature blue aspect of the Moff she’d allied herself with.

“My Lord,” Pyron bowed “we’ve found out more concerning Darth Thanaton’s apprentice, if you choose so, I believe he could be swayed to reveal his master’s plans. He has not been the Darth’s apprentice for very long.”

Astra’s smile was wicked. “Thank you Pyron.” Bowing once more the holo disappeared. “What a productive day this is turning out to be, Thanaton must have known it was my birthday.”

Part of him registered that, mapped the date. Before he got his mouth working, she had already walked off, leaving him with little more than a glance over her pauldroned shoulder.

Next year… He’d say it next year…

He’d be lying to himself if he thought he ever had that chance.

iv.

“I can never tell with you Jedi, is it stoicism or moodiness?” Jonas Balkar swiveled casually on his bar stool, his languid glance around the room hiding his professional vigilance. He’d dragged Cael out to one of his favored dives, one with just the right ambiance as he put it. Which was Jonas speak for ‘good booze, good music, real dancers, and at least 5 escape points’.

Cael stared into his untouched glass, like the thick amber liquid could give him some new kind of insight. He reached up to run a hand through his hair, only to be met with the short strands of his recent haircut. One of the only things that changed since he’d returned to SIS and the Republic.

“You can never tell with Theron either.” Cael countered, making the same instinctual sweep around the cantina Jonas had.

The other spy raised a humored eyebrow and downed the remains of his drink. “Shan is easy, because he’s always both.” Jonas glanced at Cael’s untouched drink but said nothing as he waved the bar droid over for another.

“He was raised like me, at least for a time, so what do you think that says?” Strumming his fingers on the bartop, Cael fought off the darkness that crept up on him when he least expected it, pretending like everything was fine for another night.

Not that Jonas bought it. “That says you jedi are all irascible philosophers with one facial expression.” He humphed, amused at his own retort.

Absently swirling the glass for maybe the eighth time that night, Cael’s heart suddenly quickened at the fleeting glimpse of vermillion skin. Stomach in his throat, he turned in time to watch a red-skinned twi’lek wrap her arms around neck of a fellow patron. When she kissed them, Cael’s gut turned to lead, that pang in his chest that refused to heal, a burning knot. He set his elbows on the counter and covered his mouth with his hands.

Having followed the fleeting moment, Jonas scrutinized him and finished his newest drink. Though he might have never read Cael’s report, and Director Trant had made the subject highly classified, that didn’t mean Balker couldn’t read Cael himself. “I thought you weren’t supposed to form attachments.” He whispered in genuine sympathy.

“Today is her birthday.” Cael admitted, tongue suddenly too heavy and awkward in his mouth. He hadn’t spoken about her aloud in months, the mere memories the subject summoned enough to demand his reticence. “Three years, I never knew, never wished her happy birthday. I… I never asked.”

Jonas pushed Cael’s glass closer towards him. “You���ll get to, someday.”

And with such comforting conviction, the sweet lie almost tasted real.

v.

Morning sunlight chased the mist deeper into the forests on Odessen. The fresh scent of earth and dewey stone combined with the way the balanced Force cradled everything on the planet was enough to blanket Cael with one of the most profound senses of peace he’d experienced in a long long time.

There was only one place where he felt more alive, more confident, more right: being beside Astra.

She’d gotten up earlier than him, a gentle surprise. It wasn’t her movement or noise that roused him, but the caress of the bond between them. It remained, of all he had seen, the most improbable chance. The Force had bonded the two of them, an unbreakable tie that ebbed unhurriedly along like the waves that lapped at a ponds edge. So many things had come to clarity when they learned of it, and those understandings had settled flawlessly into place when she accepted it.

Cael couldn’t stop the smile that the reflection brought to his lips. It had only taken ten years, but now he knew that the part of him he thought had died, the piece that was missing: it was accepting his love for her, and all the good and bad moments, the wondrous and ill decisions, that brought with it.

“Morning.” He found her in the hanger, breathing in time to the life awakening across the planet, knowing she sensed him long before he even spoke. Astra slipped softly from her meditation, turning her brilliant eyes on him. They narrowed with affection as she smiled.

“Good morning to you too sleepy-head.” Graceful red fingers rose to run through his hair, unwinding the little tufts that tangled in his sleep.

He kissed the top of her head, settling into the calm that just came from being at her side. “Happy Birthday Astra.”

The red-skinned sith looked up in shock, yellow eyes wide. “How did you know it was my birthday?”

Cael grinned at her. “How accusatory,” he teased, “were you planning on not telling me?”

Astra’s eyes rolled theatrically, her hands on his hips. “It’s not that… and that wasn’t the answer to my question.”

“I’ve known for a long time… since Corellia.” Cael’s eyes clouded with the bittersweet memories for a second before Astra’s touch drew him out. “You said it so casually, and I, well, I hadn’t been in a good place. For a long time it was one of the few things I truly knew about you. There was so much I never asked, so much I selfishly ignored. I’ve wanted to say that for seven years now, finally got my chance. I’m sorry I don’t have a present.”

Wrapping him in a tight embrace, the bond conveyed what words couldn’t: a kittenish mix of affection, amusement, and melancholy.

Astra’s cheek rested against his collarbone and she nuzzled him a moment before turning her eyes up to his, gold melding with gold. A part of her wanted to be painfully sentimental, to say that him being here was enough, but rather she grinned, cupping the side of his face in her hand, tilting him down towards her. “I can think of so many presents you can give me, and in so many positions.

Blood immediately shot to Cael’s cheeks turning nearly as crimson as she was. Never was he going to get used to that teasing from her; or control the way he reacted to it.

Astra laughed, a charming and heartened purr, dragging him closer to press an adoring kiss to his lips. She felt his affection surge down their bond in time with his arms drawing her ever closer.

Breaking for air, Cael’s cheeks still scarlet, she laughed once more, overcome by the swelling of emotions in her heart and the breathlessness in her lungs. “You being here is enough.” Okay maybe she could be a bit cliched. “But if it’s really so pressing, I find my legs are just not strong enough to stand, you’ll have to carry me around all day.”

Cael smiled broadly, swooping in to kiss her with the same motion that swept her up into his arms. There was not removing the doe-eyed tenderness from his eyes and foolish grin off his face. Stars, how he loved her. “I think that can be arranged.”

[jedimasteramell]

Untitled; (or I Am a Ghost and My Body Lies In the Snow )

Original Characters // SWTOR, Post-Ilum // SFW

Sort of a companion to @uldren-sov‘s Expected 

Astra and Cael are goddamn disasters and dont feel bad for them cause honestly they did this to themselves.

————————-

Lucien gasped, the night winds of Ilum sharp as the ice they carried biting into every vulnerable spot in his armor, as his feet carried him further and further from the Imperial base.

And from her.

They never once suspected him, never once questioned his motives, his privacy, his false past. And why should they? Who would have ever in their wildest dreams would think the Emperor’s own chosen was supporting the Republic? If the frigid air didn’t try and steal his breath every chance he would have laughed. The Emperor was now 0 for 2 in that regard.

And for that the Emperor was almost banished, and for that the Republic retook Balmorra, Alderaan, and Corellia, and balanced Quesh, Voss, and Nar Shaddaa. For that, in the last 48 standard hours, five Dark Council members lay dead, an Imperial hero turned traitor and split the Empire. All possible because of Lucien. He’d gone above and beyond every possible expectation of his duty, and never once was suspected.

Well… Astra did.

Funny. For as long as he’d pretended to be Sith, victory did not seem to break his chains at all. Instead they clung heavy and left him hollow.

A misstep sent him sliding down the snowbound slope. He grunted in pain, the noise stolen immediately by the wind, leaving him breathless against the icy air that stung his lungs and turned his lips blue. His whole body ached, muscles tight, stomach rolling, but even as he stood, his fall wasn’t the source of the ache. It was his heart, fallen, shattered into a thousand pieces.

Jedi weren’t supposed to feel like this, weren’t supposed to form attachments because those became spirals of self destruction. Even as he succeeded in his commitment to the Republic, he failed in his vows as a knight. Astra. He loved her, even now when he didn’t deserve it, he still did. She was a fire and a focus and a whirlwind of galvanizing energy that had been leaving him breathless for nearly as long as he knew her. She was his first in many things, and he suspected would be his last as well. Somewhere he’d almost lost himself, and had nearly relinquished everything just to be with her. And that fall still haunted and utterly charmed him.

That guilt and fear remained his only companions as he pushed himself through the snow, footprints lost behind him. He could feel the cold buildup on the back of his hood, frost form in the wake of his breath in the beginnings of his beard. He wished he’d died to Malgus, or even to Astra, but still he moved forward: he would not die in the snow.

At last, he spotted the dome of a Republic watchpost, almost lost in the shapes of the landscape. It took all his final energy to make it to the door, fingers stubbornly protesting bending so he use his own emergency code to stumbled through. He dropped to his knees, all his willpower spent. He heard the readying clicks of five blasters and raised his head to the outpost captain, weapon drawn and standing above him.

“Youre name and how you got in here, now, or I put a blaster bolt through your brain.” The commander demanded.

Lucien held out a hand in pause, pushing back his hood, snowmelt dripping to the floor. “Cael Sorrin, Republic SIS.” He said, with his real name and his real accent, ones he hadn’t heard in ten years. “And I need to get to Coruscant.”

—-

“Agent Sorrin, did you hear me?”

Cael snapped from his reverie. Reality set in as Director Trant eyed him with concern.

“No Director.” Cael replied, dropping his head. “I apologize sir, please repeat.”

Trant shook his head slightly and moved back around to the datapad on his desk. Cael watched him briefly and then turned his attention to the other two men in the room. Standing by the window, seemingly relaxed but ever alert was his jedi master, aged and hardened beyond his years, Willu Sen, whom he for years had called Lord Praxis Felth, and ‘father’. To his left on the couch, Agent Theron Shan, a recent acquaintance but whose mission against the Empire had been helped with intel Cael himself provided. It was both well and not so well known that Theron was the Grandmaster’s son; sitting there with his serious expression and half-mouthed frown, he was certainly related to Satele.

“As I said.” Trant continued with the air of a man who had to many things to do and never enough time to do them. “If everything you’ve detailed in your report is accurate, the Empire stands no chance. Its just a shame you had to break from your cover.”

Cael, who’d been drifting again, bristled. His master must have felt it too because Willu turned and fixed Cael with a harsh stare of warning. The younger jedi forced himself to settle, and even out his tone. “Unfortunately Director, Malgus himself outed me and in the presence of a member of the Dark Council. My options were kill the council member, or stay and both opened me up to scrutiny I couldn’t afford.”

Trant seemed to accept that, even as he scrutinized his report further. “On the note of that council member, Darth… Imperius. You say this is the same Sith you worked with for years.” The director leveled Cael with hard look. “And she never suspected you? You never told her anything?”

Cael’s heart blanched at the memory of Astra. He had told her everything but, compromised himself countless times, but she never figured it out. He wish she had, he wished he could have explained, he wished he could have been honest.

He wished he didn’t still love her as much as he did.

“No sir. Imperius,” He couldn’t bring himself to say her name. “She never trusted me, and kept her distance.”

At last the Director relented satisfied. “You’ve done better than could have been reasonably expected to. We’ve cut into the Dark Council over and over again, the core worlds are securing their borders, and with knowing about the Empires plans for a stealth armada we can design the tech to counteract them, and retake your planet for the Jedi.” Trant and Willu exchanged nods. “If it were up to me Sorrin Id give you a damn medal.”

“Service is it’s own reward.” Cael answered robotically, as he was expected to. “There is no contemplation, only duty.”

The room fell into silence. Even with the warm sunlight filtering through the windows Cael felt cold. Everything seemed off, the traffic out the windows, his master’s presence, the grey robes he wore, his cropped hair, Astra not being with him to tease him for being so defeatist…

“What’s my next assignment sir?” Cael heard his mouth move, struggling to stay in the now.

“You have none.”

It wasn’t Trant who answered, but Master Willu. The old jedi had silently stepped across the room to be at Trant’s side. “I can feel the confusion and hurt in you. The sorrow. Youre going back to Tython.”

Cael almost stood to protest. His master didn’t understand, as stalwart and and emotionless as he was, what Cael had gone through over the last three and a half years. All he saw was the threat, not even the beginning of the dark side and wanted him to go shut it all out on the jedi homeworld. Unease shot through him. Maybe… maybe his master was right, that he would instinctively react like that… had he lost his sense of being a jedi living so long among the Sith. “I understand master.” He finally managed. Theron tossed him an apologetic glance.

“Good.” Trant responded, waving his hand for them to be dismissed. “Shan, I want your preliminary report on my desk tomorrow. Sen, go find me Kothe and Surro, we have a lot to discuss.”

As the door hissed close behind him, and Cael’s mind threatened to slip back into his memories, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Theron raised the brow opposite his implants. “Hey, look, even if he doesn’t say it, I’m sure the director respects what you did. It’s more than many of us ever could.”

The gesture of camaraderie summoned a small upturn to the corner of Cael’s mouth. “I appreciate it… but you’re going to have to work on really sounding sympathetic.”

“You caught me.” Theron slyly accepted the poke at him. “This is why I break into things and you actually play spy.” He shook Cael’s shoulder in a brotherly sort of way, the kind that Cael notes he must have learned to mimic from somewhere else. “Come on, before they ship you back to the Temple, Ive got some friends you should meet.”

Cael raised a brow, the little touch of banter lifting his spirit somewhat. “And who might they be?”

“Coping.” Theron said, and he was serious enough, this time Cael didn’t know if it was a joke or not. “Coping and alcohol.”

[jedimasteramell]

The Apprentice - The Wrath - The Zakuulan Knight - The Agent - The Jedi

Cael has many faces, and none of them are truly ever really his. 

[jedimasteramell]

I'll take TMI Tuesday questions about my babs o3o

Plz, Im super bored at work

[jedimasteramell]

Cast of the De’Nolo Legacy

Updated to make their roles more specific, particularly in a non-canon story line context. 

Several of the characters are related to/married to @uldren-sov‘s babs, and one to @s0tc‘s.

* - Denotes canon character.

Zhaire is my canon Wrath/Outlander/Alliance Commander

Jedi: 

Lixell De’Nolo* - Human [Master]

Zhaire’s Sister

Jacoac Lenn -  Human (Blind) [Knight/Battlemaster]

Meskar Tavi -  Echani [Master/Weapons Master/Archivist]

Atreli Uu’tana - Togruta [Padawan]

Luka Sene:

Sibhe Tasla* -  Miraluka [Honorary Jedi/Mediator]

Nahdala Tasla -  Miraluka [Ambassador to the Jedi/Ranking Luka Sene]

Sibhe’s Mother

Sith:

Zhaire Ot-El* - Human (Pureblood Ancestry) [Darth, Sphere of Diplomacy]

Zhehu Ot-El -  Human (Pureblood Ancestry) [Darth, Sphere of Defense]

Zhaire & Lixell’s Mother

Veska Kel* - Human [Lord, Reclimation Service]

In canon, Thanaton’s unknown daughter.

Xyshanni -  Rattataki [Lord]

Dzashan Kranos - Sith Pureblood [Lord, Sphere of Mysteries]

Sinar Ot-El -  Human (Pureblood Ancestry) [Darth, Sphere of Offense]

Zhaire & Lixell’s Father, Deceased.

Valian Datirous - Human (Pureblood Ancestry) [Lord]

Elora’s Cousin

Republic Military:

Daya-Kos (nee Vex)* - Zabrak [Havoc Squad, Major]

Talcyn’s Wife, Mother to Taisic, Jalen, Caon, and Neira

Edris Kohluni - Mirialan [Republic Expeditionary Forces, Lieutenant]

Tegal’s Brother. Azred’s Cousin

SIS:

Cael Sorrin -  Human (Cybernetically Mod.) [Deepcover Operative]

Astra’s Husband

Chel Voxla - Kiffar [Formerly CorSec]

Ezra Kane -  Half Human/Half Morellian [Hacker/On Probation]

Willu Sen -  Human [6th Line Member/Deepcover Operative]

Cael’s Master, Played Cael’s Father when undercover

Imperial Navy:

Varise Kilran - Human [Naval Major]

Darach Kilran - Human [Naval Captain]

Both children to Grand Moff Kilran

Imperial Agents:

Eins - Human [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Assassin]

Zwei - Human  [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Regulator]

Kolme - Human  [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Watcher]

Chatvarah - Human  [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Cipher]

Hamza - Human  [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Cipher]

Senio* - Human (Cyberneically Mod.) [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Cipher]

Septeri - Human (Cybernetically Mod.) [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Fixer]

Vosem - Human  [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Cipher]

Nio - Human  [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Informer]

Decim - Human  [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Informer]

Elva - Human  [Project PATRIOT Graduate, Regulator]

Sechi’tama’ranos - Chiss [Loan from CEDF]

Master Ranos’ niece.

Free Spacers, Mandalorains, & Mercs:

Kaleasa’yor* - Twilek [Free Trader]

Dinek & Teeubo’s Sister

Teeubo’yor* - Twilek  [Mandalorain]

Kal & Dinek’s Sister

Dinek’yor - Twilek [Con-Artist]

Kal & Teeubo’s Brother

Bren Caedo - Human (Zakuulan) [Informer]

Novki’s partner.

Berej’erra’nitudo - Chiss [Big Game Hunter]

Jyotii Norak - Cathar [Pirate]

Keevu & Khorr’s Daughter

Keevu Norak - Cathar  [Pirate Captain]

Jyotii’s Mother

Khorr Norak -  Cathar [Pirate 1st Mate]

Jyotii’s Father

Others:

Faeda Lusol - Zeltron [Assassin for Hire]

Tegal Kohluni -  Mirialan [Confused Rich Boy]

Edris’ Brother, Azred’s Cousin

Raoden Calix -  Half Human/Half Zeltron [Republic Negotiaor] 

Adri Tesko -  Mirialan [Doing Her Best]

[uldren-sov]

💗 = Would your muse prefer a large, public proposal, or do they prefer a small, private one? For your choice!

Lemme do it for the OCs who have the potential to be married/are married

Talcyn Vex, the nicer older bro to my main Agent, Evacios. He’s married to @jedimasteramell ‘s Daya Kos

SO when he was planning on proposing he did think of doing a big public proposal, full of everyone they knew hidden in the crowd, maybe with a big smoke trail in the sky, and when Daya looked up to look at the “Will U Marry Me” he’d already be on one knee and SURPRISE!

But it didn’t work out like that, instead it was pretty spur of the moment, realizing that he could not live without her any any time wasted on circumstance or pageantry took away from the simpleness and wholesomeness of their love. He didn’t need all that their proposal wounded up just being a quiet, tender, moment. Perfect at the time. It, in part, really defined how they are as a couple, insomuch as being very true to themselves and not needing much. They’re selfless and uncomplicated - so their proposal reflected that.

+ a niceass ring.

A couple of anniversaries though he’s DEFINITELY going all out with the big gestures.

Evacios Vex

Any marriage he has is going to be a political affair and any “proposal” bc lbr it will have been planned for months if not years before - will be for the benefit of society and the spectacle of it. Kneeling and “surprising” the betrothed person in the middle of a party with a ROCK of an engagement ring (if they want that) to show off a bit of wealth as well.

Barring some very rare circumstances though he doesn’t give a damn about any of that. So it will most likely be a political stunt and thus a public “proposal” over anything private. Privacy means that the bond might mean something to him and again, barring just a couple of options? It does not in the LEAST.

Astraszia (Sorrin)“Married”/Permanently Partnered/Bonded to @jedimasteramell‘s Cael Sorrin

Back in the day she really wanted THE WHOLE DEAL. She wanted the big romantic proposal, she wanted friends and family and peers to look on in admiration, delight, and jealousy as she got proposed to. She wanted someone screaming how much they adored her from the top of their lungs, to everyone they knew, and to everyone they didn’t. But now that she’s been able to step away from Sith society she just wanted something small and personal.

The part of her that cared about all that shit was left in the Empire when she and Cael left the Empire. She only ever even got a ring later on when a bit of that materialism didn’t seem to go away. But they quietly promised themselves to be true and dedicated and love one another without condition or exceptions. And that was enough.

Elora MakiirI mean she’s “been with” @damarlegacy ‘s Karo Caya for A LONG TIME and there’s been talk.

because surprise! She was betrothed at about 16, just before she went to Korriban. It didn’t define her or stop her from doing what she wanted but come to her early 20′s and actually starting to fall for her betrothed she thought she wanted a proposal surrounded by friends, family, somewhere public but important to the two of them. Just more surrounded by this group of people who supported them and loved them as much as they loved each other and by others who would share and bear witness to this penultimate moment.

DIDN’T HAPPEN - DIDN’T EVEN COME CLOSE, SO

FF to now and she’s kind of given up on the prospect of marriage and want anything to be a quiet personal affair - she’d just as soon sign papers if she could. She’s just not being enthused about the idea, or really give a shit about the proposal, the event, and proper marriage. In fact its kind of like pulling off a bandage. Just get it over with quick and then deal with the repercussions. It’s not like she can get married to the man she loves anyways, so who cares about all that? IF AND ONLY IF she could, she’d want something private and meaningful though.

AND THEN A BUNCH OF JEDI AND PEOPLE WHO PROBABLY ARENT GETTING MARRIED.

[jedimasteramell]

Cast of the De’Nolo Legacy

A complete (but not comprehensively detailed) list of all my SWTOR OCs. The majority of them (sans most of my IA’s) are on Ebon Hawk, or Beregen Colony and they’re all free for friendships and most are free for ships! 

The descriptions are very basic personality traits, and are the same regardless of what canon they’re in. 

Sith:

Zhaire Ot-El

Human (Sith Ancestry), 26 at 10ATC

Heir of an ancient Sith bloodline, she is proud, authoritative, very patriotic, a fierce warrior, and with tremendous respect for anyone who owns their convictions. Both a front-line fighter and a diplomat.

Zhehu Ot-El (née Sidre)

Human (Sith Ancestry), 50 at 10ATC

Zhaire and Lixell’s mother. Traditional, proud, a long time player in the game of Sith politics and upper class Imperial society. Serves in administrative capacities in the Sphere of Defense.

Sinar Ot-El

Human (Sith Ancestry), Deceased

Zhehu’s late husband, Zhaire and Lixell’s father.

Veska Kel

Human, 22 at 10ATC

Daughter of a servant who served a cult, inquisitive, eager to learn, neutral in the force, fascinated by ancient force-history and archaeology. Serves in tandem with the Imperial Reclamation Service.

Xyshanni

Rattataki, 19 at 10ATC

A force-sensitive slave that would do anything for more power. Cold, cruel, self serving, manipulative.

Dzashan Kranos

Sith Pureblood, 21 at 10 ATC

Comes from a family of force-blinds. Composed, secretive, fascinated by early Sith culture and history. A ritualbreaker for the Sphere of Mysteries.

Jedi:

Lixell De’Nolo

Human (Sith Ancestry), 22 at 10 ATC

Born Sith but raised her whole life as a Jedi, exuberant, compassionate, friendly, and dedicated, would be a model Jedi if only she didn’t love her friends so much.

Jacoac Lenn

Human, 20 at 10 ATC

Blind, taciturn with strangers, joking with friends, given to bouts of frustration, force-empath, struggles with his resentment over his blindness, hates being pitied for it.

Atreli Uu’tana

Togruta, 17 at 10 ATC

Former apprentice to a Sith Lord, fled out of fear and hopes the Jedi will be better for her, shy, hardworking, scared of her own emotional outbursts.

Meskar Tavi

Echani, 40 at 10ATC

Jedi Weapon Master, Padawan trainer on Coruscant and then Tython. Spirited, engaging, dedicated to learning and recording the various sword fighting techniques and saber forms of the current and past eras.

Luka Sene:

Sibhe Tasla

Miraluka, 23 at 10 ATC

An educator, healer, patient, stalwart, kind. Her pursuit is in understanding the movement and utilization of the force between different cultures. Trained to follow her mother’s footsteps as an ambassador.

Nahdala Tasla

Miraluka, 49 at 10 ATC

Sibhe’s mother. High ranking Luka Sene, Miraluka Ambassador to the Jedi, serene, wise, a mediator. Temporary master to Jac.

SIS:

Cael Sorrin

Human (Cybernetically Modified) 27 at 10ATC

Keen, expert actor, trained to be a spy in the Sith since he was 10. Jedi-trained. Collected, secretly-passionate, believes the ends can justify the means, willing to throw himself on his own saber for his beliefs.

Ezra Kane

Mixed (Human-Morellian) 24 at 10 ATC

Hacker, data analyst, works for SIS instead of going to prison, easily bored, little sense of personal direction, wants to be a hero as much as he wants to not care.

Chel Voxla

Kiffar, 30 at 10ATC

Formerly CorSec Detective, highly detail oriented, approachable, easy-going, recruited for her psychometry talents, acts as a tracker, knows she does important work but misses being police.

Willu Sen

Human, 58 at 10ATC

Founding 6th Line Jedi, and early SIS agent. Severe, imposing, cold. A true Jedi in the sense of a total lack of attachments and the cool sense of justice. Is willing to do anything to bring down the Empire. Plays Cael’s father when undercover.  

Imperial Agents:

Eins

Human, 19 at 10ATC

Top graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT. Isolated, quiet, easily forgettable face. One of the Empire’s top assassins.

Zwei

Human, 22 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, Regulator One, highly patriotic, workaholic, gentlemanly.

Kolme

Human, 21 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, Watcher, manic, weighs logic far over emotions, poor sleeper.

Chatvarah

Human, 20 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, Cipher, polite, formal, vain.

Hamza

Human, 21 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, Cipher, charismatic, sexual, aloof, solitary.

Senio

Human, 20 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, idealist, kind-hearted, defector to the Republic, has the hardest time among the graduates adhering to Imperial doctrine, would rather take the ‘right’ path than the ‘easy’ path.

Septeri

Human, 20 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, Fixer, enjoys puzzles, patient, team player, awkward when not focused on a work project.

Vosem

Human, 19 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, Cipher, cruel, meticulous, perfectionist, narcissistic.

Nio

Human, 21 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, Informer, humorous, sly, flirtatious while in character, reserved and shy outside of it.

Decim

Human, 22 at 10ATC

Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, Informer, excitable, playful, partier, mechanically inclined, vigorous patriot.

Elva

Human, 20 at 10ATC Graduate of the Imperial project PATRIOT, seemingly scattered, airheaded, and gossipy, but actually incredibly perceptive and manipulative.

Sait’hahn’berudo (Thahn)

Chiss, 27 at 10ATC

Hidden force sensitive, naturally suspicious, only serves the Empire because of his family’s wishes, hates pain.

Republic Military:

Daya Vex (née Kos)

Zabrak, 26 at 10 ATC

Bright, positive, romantic, grew up poor and parent-less and ran with the Justicars before joining the Republic military, loves her family beyond all reason, has taken up painting as shes left front-line fighting for motherhood.

Edris Kohluni

Mirialan, 28 at 10ATC

Former Republic Expeditionary Forces, a series of bad calls left his team dead on Taris. Thrillseeker, self-absorbed, wants to regain his honor.

Smugglers, Mercenaries, and Freelancers:

Kalesa’yor

Twi’lek, 34 at 10ATC

Was a slave to the Hutt Cartel, flirty, compassionate, incredibly caring, desperate to find her family one day, won her ship by charming a pirate captain out of it.

Dinek’yor

Twi’lek, 26 at 10ATC

Selfish survivor, nervous, a con artist, vaguely force-sensitive, does whatever he can to survive, wants a deep meaningful relationship but has a hard time connecting with people.

Teeubo’yor

Twi’lek, 22 at 10ATC

Sassy, spirited, full of a lot of anger and passion. Wants to reunite with her family and make a name for twi’leks everywhere. An adventurer at heart.

Jyotii Norak

Cathar, 18 at 10ATC

Fierce, loves to fight, vicious sense of humor. Pirate princess, only child, loves firefights and raids, and kicking Imperial ass.

Keevu Norak

Cathar, 44 at 10ATC

Jyotii’s mother, the war-leader of the all-Cathar pirate band.

Khorr Norak

Cathar, 40 at 10ATC

Jyotii’s father, the strategist and accountant of the all-Cathar pirate band.

Brerj’erra’nitudo (Jerran)

Chiss, 25 at 10ATC

Brawler, spends all his money on food, dreams of retiring to Hoth and wrestling Wampas, daft af to flirting, can make friends with anyone

Civillians and Others:

Raoden Calix

Mixed (Human-Zeltron), 26 at 10ATC

Formerly a jedi, did poorly during training and became a negotiator for the Republic, few know of his mixed heritage which gives him an advantage. Intellectual, playful, mysterious, adores competition.

Adri Tesko

Mirialan, 25 at 10ATC

Thrillseeker, immature, sexual, is a mother but her daughter is raised by her cousin, secret low self-esteem.

Tegal Kohluni

Mirialan, 21 at 10ATC

Confused, unaware rich boy, just wants to party and be something other than a senator’s son. Naive, ready to try lots of things, poor judge of character, kinda whiney.

Bren Caedo

Human, 24 at 10ATC

Untested, eager, patriotic. An agent of Overwatch investigating the state of the core galaxy for Zakuul, surprisingly honest, easy to make blush.

Farah’era’nianu (Hera)

Chiss, 26 at 10ATC

Agent for the Chiss Expansionary Defense Force, vain, very concerned with her personal appearance, shopaholic, makeup aficionado, loves to be spoiled, excited by violence.

Pol’dereth, Zabrak, 25 at 10ATC Nyiol Djari, Rattataki, 22 at 10ATC Carak, Trandoshan, 29 at 10ATC K1-LR, Droid ??? at 10ATC Halee Roosh, Roidian 24 at 10ATC

The Merc Band that is also a Rock Band. (They do parties, please specify which need in message)

[uldren-sov]

Psst for Astra, Different for El

Three things that they’ve always wanted to tell your character.          

For Astra, of course I’m doing this for Cael

1 - She’s always admired and envied his determination and ability to dedicate himself to something larger than himself.2 - How sorry she is for the childhood he didn’t have.3 - How she’s never stopped loving him. How he has the best ass she’s ever seen in her life t b q h.

Three members of the opposite sex they find attractive.                

For El: Doing these in two categories NPC and OCs

NPCs:1 - Theron Shan (obviously)2 - Arcann (again obvious)3 - Aric Jorgan (bet you didn’t see that coming)

OCs:1 - Cael Sorrin (Because obviously) @jedimasteramell2 - Sevus Stacia (Have to give a nod, there’s an AU they end up together) (no tumblr)3 - EDIT: Karo mfking Caya my dudes. Wanted that since he showed up in her office @damarlegacy ‘s

This just made me realize how few male OCs friends make and El could actually know. (Hope you dont mind the @’s just want to give credit )

[uldren-sov]

Kiss meme 17 o3o

height difference kisses where one person has to bend down and the other is on their tippy toes

With Astra and your very own Lucien “Cael Sorrin” Felth

c8

The galaxy seemed determined to, all in the span of a few months, prepare her for the war she was deigned to inherit from Thanaton when she finally killed him. When the frontlines were storefronts and front yards,the realities of the horror of war were so much harder to ignore when you not only destroyed people’s lives, but their livelihoods. Astraszia looked over the decimation of Correlia from a first story balcony with dismay.

Why couldn’t the Republic learn how to surrender gracefully?

“We need to keep moving,” came the deep, rumbling, Imperial cadence of her companion, no, lover from beside her. Lucien leaped swiftly over the banister and landed without a hitch in a flutter of his dark robe.

Not that there would be a hitch any longer. He’s come far from being the Sith he thought he wanted to be, one concerned with the hierarchy of things, concerned with his father’s wishes, concerned with people stabbing him in the back when he thought he wasn’t looking. No, he’s grown away from that and she couldn’t be prouder. Now goal-driven and assertive, she still saw moments of his compassion, his confidence, and intelligence.

She ventures that it’s in those moments she fell in love with him.

How terrifying a thought.

Even if having the Wrath be one’s lover while on the Dark Council would be more than fortuitous…

“What’s wrong?” He called from below, his hood falling from his head from the effort. Drawn from her thoughts she leaned to get a better look at the surrounding skirmishes.

“Nothing! Be down in a second,” she replied and just as she pulled back to give herself enough room to make the leap herself she stopped. She smiled with the sudden idea and leaned back over the railing.

“Darling, would you mind terribly? I’ve still not gotten used to such strenuous physical activity and I’m afraid I’d hurt myself on the landing. Catch me?” she called in her most helpless of tones. But theatrics aside she smiled as she saw the change between a full-bodied sigh and the subsequent dawning of recognition.

Back so long ago on Korriban, when she needed to feign some amount of weakness to feed into his superiority, when there was another simply made leap down some broken ruins, and she had “weak ankles.” Back when they were both fighting to be recognized as supplicants, three whole years ago.

It felt like three lives. Maybe it has been for her.

“Of course, how could I forget? Though by now I would have thought you’d be capable to make the jump” he played along now and a rare ghost of a smile tilted his lips. The times where she could even draw that out of him were becoming rarer by the day, so today she took it as a victory as he outstretched his arms and she lept.

She controlled her descent, at least a little, so that he wouldn’t pull something as he, indeed, managed to catch her back and under her knees.

“Afraid not,” she sighed in faux lament “ever my one weakness is the one I told you of on our first excursion,” looping her arms around his neck she smiled up at him, even as he adjusted his arms to get a better grip on her frame.

“You didn’t have armor then,” he groused lightly but held her still.

“Oops. My mistake. Are you alright darling?” she hummed, pleased as he finally managed to stand straight again with her in his arms.

“I’m fine, Astra,” he set her down even with her arms still around his neck, the smile fading from his features once again as duty seemed to return. “But we can’t waste time here, you and I both know that.” He admonished gently, eliciting a pout from her .

As he went to pull her arms from his neck, she pulled instead. Standing at her full height she only just cleared his shoulders, so as she reached up she tried to meet him part of the way as she captured his lips with hers.

The war seemed to have taken an especially hard toll on him and while the empathy might have only been because of their shared nights here on Corellia, she wanted to make him forget. At least for a moment. She couldn’t bare to see him so grim.

When his arms encircled her back, she had to re-balance on the balls of her feet but nonetheless pulled him closer. Slanting her mouth against his they found that rhythm in their kiss that made her knees weak. That never used to happen before. She sighed softly against his lips, her fingers tangling in his hair as he seemed to capture it, kissing her fiercely even with the uncomfortable pose. She relied on her grip on his neck to keep herself steady, to keep him close, if only for a moment longer.

But with the echoing of blaster fire the moment invariably was up. He pressed a kiss to a corner of her lips, the other corner, and she got back up on her toes to meet him to the full one she knew was coming. She seared it into him with a tightened grip on the back of his head and the press of her lips. It was as familiar a trait to him anymore as his own name, but invariably a sign that it was time to move on.

He pulled away, eyes dark, and with a knot to his brow she wasn’t expecting. He seemed conflicted, she felt the uncertainty from him, but when he focused on her it was gone and she was left wanting.

“We need to keep moving,” was what he disengaged with, removing her arms from his neck and straightening back to square off with the rest of Corellia. And perhaps, she thought, with whatever he happened to be wrestling with.

Because in that moment, he looked like he was losing to it.

[uldren-sov]

SWTOR player asks: 2, 8, 15, 23, 26

2. What is your favorite class and why? And/or list the player classes in order of most -> least favorite

Two parts because there are more than just two things going on with the first question. So, my favorite class to play is probably SW Marauder followed by BH bodyguard and honorable mention to JK tank class. But in terms of story, my favorite is the IA storyline, hands down, no contest, followed by the SW story.

8. Name your top favorite companions (feel free to include reasons why).

I’m going to not first go to the LIs lol that’s probably a whole other question. I love Dr.Lokin and (of course) Scourge but as a whole I think BH has the stronger cast of companions in the game. Also I loooove Ashara as a companion (and have never romanced her). The first because I love that he has his own motivations and expertise and even at the end you don’t know his full life story - he maintains the fact that he’s an old spy and still shows it. Scourge is no surprise, most people like him as a companion, but on his own it’s interesting to show that this powerful Sith, arguably one of the most powerful Sith, is emotionless - literally so. It brings up a lot of questions as to, what then, makes the Sith tick and also I love the back and forth of him with the JK. And my reasons are similar to Ashara - though comparatively she’s not showing how the two factions, Jedi/Sith, are alike so much as the faults in both of them and a more profound, gray, understanding of the Force by the end. Love the philosophy talks.

15. Show us your main(s)!

Currently working on three.

My main: Elora “Screw the Rules” Makiir, LS SW M, LI: Theron Shan

The one I’m working on now: Evacios “Needs Professional Help” Vex, DS/N IA Op, LI: Technically Lana but really that’s only for the mechanics, Kaliyo (Killed)

And one I’m working on with @jedimasteramell Cael “Lucien Felth” Sorrin

23. Share some of your favorite quotes/dialogue with us! 

SI: “I am not cute. I am deadly.” SI: “I like two things: ancient artifacts and getting my way. Remember that and we’ll be fine.”SI: “Blame it on my misspent youth.”Harkun to SI: “Still as prickly and arrogant as ever, eh, sla- I mean, my lord.”SI: “Surely I can persuade you otherwise? I’ve never taken ‘no’ for an answer, and it would be a shame to start now.”

Pretty much everything the SI says, tbh.

SW: “So, you’re hoping for blind mercy? Do you know where you are, lady?”SW: “Tell the Emperor I said ‘hello’.”SW: “I feel your anger, master.”Baras: “A blind, deaf, comatose, lobotomy patient could feel my anger! “Quinn: “I hate to burst your bubble, Jedi. No, that’s a lie, I’m reveling in it. I intercepted your transmission. The Jedi know nothing.”F!SW: “Quinn, I could kiss you.”Honorable mention: F!SW: “Don’t tell me I’m not your type.”Quinn: “Indeed, my lord, you are not a type at all. I dare say, you are a wholly unique woman.”SW: I knew I was good looking, but this is ridiculous. SW: “That is what the Jedi do. They mask and pretend and hide.”F!SI/F!SW: *to Thana Vesh* “Is it my superior skills that make you uncomfortable or that I can actually look good using them?”Fave: SW: “If I had a credit for every time someone I’m about to kill predicted my doom…”

Talking Jadus down is my favorite conversation test.IA: “Travel around the galaxy, lie and deceive for a living - seemed like something I’d enjoy.”Keeper:” I was afraid of that. “IA: “… Just my luck I managed to catch your Watcher’s eye.”W2: “I’m the product of six generations of selective breeding. I can plot hyperspace routes in my head. I��m not easily charmed - at least not while on duty. “tbh their whole romance IA: “There’s no mission like a suicide mission”Keeper: “…You no longer have a name. You will answer only to Cipher Nine.”IA: “I do horrible things too, Milosh.” *shoots someone’s knee cap*IA: “We get to lie to a whole new group of people”IA: *Trying to immediately kill Ardun Kothe* “Is there anything I can do for you?” Kothe: Sorry. It only kicks in if you try to disobey”IA: “I am deadly and charming.”IA: “You’re giving advice to the person who killed you.”Watcher X: “Yes. If I am the result of brain damage, you must have a warped sense of humor.”IA: “Eventually, violence and deceit become second nature. This becomes your real world.”Vector: “Maybe it shouldn’t, agent. And maybe you should find another way before it does.”

26. Who is/are your favorite non-companion NPC(s)?

Darth Marr, Jonas mfking Balkar, W2/Keeper, Keeper/Minister of Intelligence, HUNTER, Darth Vowrawn, Grand Master Shan, Jace Malcom, that nautaulan who wanted to stay a stripper, the SIS agent in Emp!Balmorra who kept the dirtiest line in game, Chancellor Janarus, Jedi Master Sumalee to just name some.