#cablepool break up

[kamydrawstuffs]

Deadpool's Ship Dynamics (According to Fanfics read by Deadpool)

Truth be told, I never considered Poolverine until after watching Deadpool & Wolverine.

[sciderman]

deadpool & cable (2011)

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

i have several drafts from back in january comparing some of my old man yaoi ™️ ships which i decided against posting at the time because, quite frankly, they were thoughts no one would appreciate but me. two of the ships i know have some overlap, but the third didn't fit. a different genre. too niche.

but, with a new deadpool movie out and other ppl seeing the buggy parallels, i might as well get this off my chest:

shuggy is cablepool.

(not movieverse cablepool, to be clear. (i enjoy movieverse cable but he is not my mutant messiah.) comics cablepool.)

the dynamic is eerily similar:

we have an occasionally slapstick murderclown with obvious issues about the unusual way he looks, who presents himself as only having selfish motives but is (sometimes) lying about that, is very hard to kill, is disliked by ppl who have to work with him and popular with and beloved by ppl who don't both in-universe and out!

and his ex-bestie, a massively overpowered would-be martyr who is missing a flesh arm, has three scars over one eye, whose continued fondness for the murderclown post-breakup baffles everyone around him (murderclown included), and who refuses to elaborate on his motives for doing shady shit (including manipulating our beloved murderclown) except that he's doing everything for the sake of the future

like. tell me that's not them.

[historicalcord]

“I’m here…I’m with you…”

[marshroom580]

cablepool relationship hcs (bc they're disasters and neither of them would make for a good romantic partner):

Out of the two of them, Wade is actually the one who wants to keep their relationship on the down low

Both of them forget important dates but Wade forgets anniversaries and birthdays while Nate forgets major holidays

They're totally on again off again in an entirely codependent and unhealthy way

Most of their break ups and make ups happen in the middle of or right after battles (i refuse to believe they can have a normal conversation about their wants and expectations without the threat of death and/or adrenaline pumping through their veins)

Wade's a big gestures kinda gal and Nate is a small sentimental trinkets kinda guy

They both talk a big game and tease each other until the hint of anything serious or remotely close to commitment comes up, then it gets real quiet real quickly until one of them changes the topic

Just so many minute misunderstandings that lead to both of them believing the other doesn't actually want something serious

They usually see each other for a few weeks to a month at most before something else comes up that leads to them separating again

Civil war is still a touchy subject no matter how many years has gone by

Usually Wade tries to jam as many events and hangouts and cliche date ideas as he can into the limited amounts of time they have together, Nate's fine with being dragged around as long as he's spending time with Wade

[prisonhannibal]

pro cablepool ofc but i feel like once Nate had Hope he would tell Wade he couldn't be around her and then once she grew up he would try to get back with him again

I feel like they might have tried it but it didn’t work lol. They seem like the kinda people who would “break up” all the time for actual good reasons (not always fighting) but it just never sticks. like they’ll “take a break” for like three months because of life circumstances but three days later wade is hitting him up again. or Nathan breaks up due to a disagreement that’s like a dealbreaker but a week later he’s like “wyd”. or they’re definitely broken up for a long ass time except for every single time they run into each other

[ifridiot]

Fic Master Post

Part 3: All the Rest

sorted by primary fandom. remember to always read the tags before engaging with the work. Under a cut because it’s Long.

PUNISHER

Special -- Rated M, 1425 words Start of a Good Porno -- Rated T, 3255 words Bite my Tongue -- Rated T, 4344 words Break In -- Rated G, 431 words Snowfall -- Rated T, 2618 words War -- Rated G, 841 words In a Word -- Rated E, 2424 words Delicate -- Rated E, 9399 words As Yet Unseen -- Rated T, 2269 words Unflattering -- Rated G, 775 words To More Than Friends -- Rated E, 3656 words Burns -- Rated M, 2368 words To New Friends -- Rated T, 2327 words Badass -- Rated T, 1231 words Break -- Rated G, 1411 words Gets Me Closer to God -- Rated E, 2332 words A Light to the Blind -- Rated T, 1094 words You Do It or You Die -- Rated T, 1511 words As Ever it Was -- Rated M, 1425 words Better than Okay -- Rated E, 1587 words First Time Perfection -- Rated E, 1424 words Never -- Rated E, 1208 words Piercings -- Rated E, 3001 words Truth or Dare -- Rated M, 2321 words About the Living, For the Dead -- Rated E, 4679 words Memento Mori -- Rated E, 6006 words Reach -- Rated M, 693 words Puncture Repair -- Rated R, 4907 words Come Home -- Rated M, 2494 words Celebrate -- Rated E, 2406 words Transformation -- Rated G, 809 words Devil’s Advocate -- Rated E, 3198 words Detail Work -- Rated M, 861 words A Balance of Wants -- Rated E, 8758 words To Be Well -- Rated M, 2100 words The Short Route -- Rated M, 979 words Talk SMS to Me -- Rated T, 1055 words Anaesthetist -- Rated M, 1681 words Talking in Your Sleep -- Rated M, 3526 words The Lunar Effect -- Rated E, 4119 words Shake Me Sane -- Rated E, 4360 words Playing House -- Rated E, 7354 words Soft Things -- Rated E, 2929 words Left for Salvage -- Rated E, 1147 words Grass Below, Sky Above -- Rated E, 1658 words Choke -- Rated E, 2250 words Exhale -- Rated G, 406 words Wouldn’t Hold My Breath -- Rated E, 5312 words

DEADPOOL

As Good As His Word -- Rated E, 1613 words Dessert -- Rated M, 3436 words A Little More Beast than Beauty -- Rated E, 27760 words Girly Drinks: Five Times Nate Got White Girl Wasted when Wade was Trying to Get Gay -- Rated E, 11113 words Because I Love You -- Rated E, 2679 words Honeysuckle and Mistletoe -- Rated E, 4266 words No Better -- Rated T, 2266 words I’ll Keep Coming -- Rated E, 2645 words Protector -- Rated T, 1337 words Time to Die, Babe -- Rated T, 716 words Burn Them Wade -- Rated M, 826 words Good Boy -- Rated E, 2597 words A Green Eyed Demon -- Rated E, 3718 words Jarmed in the Target Jathroom -- Rated E, 1825 words Unnecessary -- Rated G, 543 words Wondering -- Rated G, 666 words The Alphabet of Cablepool -- Rated E, 3232 words Rehashed -- Rated E, 666 words Can You Take Me Higher -- Rated E, 3221 words When I was Hungry -- Rated E, 3062 words What Good Girls Do -- Rated E, 1844 words Good Ol’ Fashioned Boot Licking -- Rated E, 850 words Glittering -- Rated E, 2554 words Pretty Eyes -- Rated G, 478 words Hunger -- Rated E, 1105 words Just Like Pretty Woman -- Rated E, 6135 words Praise -- Rated E, 546 words Privately, Publicly -- Rated E, 1426 words A Little Teasing, A Big Break -- Rated E, 1409 words The Twelve Tongue Positions of the Alpha Centauri -- Rated E, 1287 words On Your Knees -- Rated E, 1462 words Keep It Down -- Rated E, 1154 words

TRANSFORMERS

Should Have Known -- Rated G, 2803 words Leave You -- Rated T, 3685 words Revenge is a Five-Step Process -- Rated M, 9006 words Unpreventable -- Rated T, 1889 words Mistakes and Reparations -- Rated E, 5754 words The Colours of StaCa -- Rated T, 4446 words Burn -- Rated E, 2775 words Almost Told You -- Rated E, 3843 words Dance -- Rated G, 667 words A Difficult Problem -- Rated T, 2187

MY HERO ACADEMIA

Home -- Rated E, 1204 words Feeling It -- Rated T, 476 words Poetry -- Rated T, 1148 words The Alphabet of Allerasermic -- Rated E, 3442 words Borderline -- Rated T, 1347 words Nightmare -- Rated T, 526 words In the Dark, A Light -- Rated T, 607 words Negotiation -- Rated T, 746 words A Rarity -- Rated E, 1362 words Aphrodisiac -- Rated E, 1163 words Tender -- Rated E, 1680 words Kisses -- Rated M, 461 words

OVERWATCH

White Knight -- Rated E, 784 words Slowly Broken -- Rated M, 1687 words The Alphabet of Roadrat -- Rated E, 1568 words Cash Grab -- Rated E, 666 words Beasts and Other Wild Things -- Rated E, 7214 words Towels -- Rated E, 3086 words Whatever You Want -- Rated E, 1050 words Eager -- Rated E, 1219 words United -- Rated M, 1128 words Strong -- Rated E, 1071 words Something New -- Rated M, 1125 words Fleeting  -- Rated E, 1480 words Lalophobia -- Rated E, 984 words Money and Love -- Rated E, 3879 words Breathe -- Rated E, 1765 words Chase -- Rated E, 666 words Wishing -- Rated G, 608 words Funny Us -- Rated E, 6027 words Masked -- Rated E, 1465 words In His Skin -- Rated E, 1613 words Come Back -- Rated M, 1186 words Fire and Ice -- Rated G, 669 words Sin -- Rated E, 1405 words Fate -- Rated G, 1000 words Yoga -- Rated G, 273 words Better -- Rated E, 4894 words To Come True -- Rated G, 496 words Gentle -- Rated G, 446 words Just This About Us -- Rated E, 2081 words Up Some Nights -- Rated G, 437 words

NARUTO

Gentleness -- Rated E, 1552 words Things You Said too Quietly -- Rated G, 151 words Trust -- Rated E, 2226 words Drunken Lament -- Rated E, 2010 words Digital Ghost -- Rated E, 3747 words Evolution of Us -- Rated E, 47330 words Engagement -- Rated M, 1710 words Water -- Rated G, 1385 words

MISCELLANY

Sour Times -- Rated E, 2550 words -- Devil May Cry I See You -- Rated T, 1553 words -- DC Scientific Method -- Rated E, 3689 words -- DC Five Times the Boy Died -- Rated M, 4751 words -- Original Adventure -- Rated E, 2132 words -- Venom Mutual -- Rated E, 1183 words -- Venom Grow Proud -- Rated G, 750 Words -- Final Fantasy XIV Cycle -- Rated M, 811 words -- Left 4 Dead Something Less -- Rated G, 546 words -- Star Wars Nothing Else Matters -- Rated NR, 5312 words -- Trigun Apocraphy -- Rated NR, 817 words -- Steven Universe What’s in a Name -- Rated E, 2696 words -- Mad Max Easy -- Rated T, 342 words -- Outlast Live Again -- Rated T, 381 words -- Mad Max

[ironstrange-is-the-endgame]

I saw that you ship cablepool... and that « I am not buying ikea furniture again » line in the drabble prompts list seem to be perfect for them

Ok, this is my first time writing them and I really hope this doesn’t totally suck =) I had a lot of fun in doing this one, tbqh

90.  “I’m not buying Ikea furniture again.”

Honestly, that wasn’t technicallyyyyy Wade’s fault. It wasn’t his fault if he ran out of ammo and definitely wasn’t his fault if the bad guys decided to follow him. Technically, they could have gone for their own way and didn’t find their brains shattered against their floor. Like, he gave them a choice, or maybe he didn’t. It wasn’t like he remembered. Adrenaline and all that medical bullshits, whatever. It wasn’t Wade’s fault, but he did run out of ammo and it happened that they were near his and Nate’s place (is your name really Nate, like that golden boy from Gossip Girl? Yup, everyone seemed to ask the very same question once they knew his boyfriend’s name. So they went through all the six seasons of the show. Booooring and a story for another day). Wade pretty much decided that going home and take Cable’s big gun was his only way out of the mess so he started to ran up the stairs, and the bad guys followed him because they were stupid, and of course, thought it was a good idea following him. And people called him crazy, seriously? Anyway, he knew where Cable kept his big guns - well, the ones Wade was comfortable in sharing… ok, no, the metaphor didn’t work with Wilson, he’d gladly shared also the other big gun, maybe not with random and super stupid villains, but still - and so, yup, it took a couple of minutes for him to kill a couple of them and sending the remaining one flying toward…“Holy shit! Can you please don’t break Hamnes while you die?” And, of course, the idiot hit the fucking dresser while hitting his head against the wall. Which, well, let Wade with a lot to explain to Cable once the man walked through the destroyed door. “What the fuck…?” Wade really wished to be able to show his partner a video flashback or whatever because that would have been epic and useful. Instead, he stood there, taking his mask off while trying to explain what the fuck. Nate waited, then turned his eyes at the ceiling and walked in the other room, leaving with an “I’m not buying Ikea furniture again.” Which was definitely the most upsetting thing in the entire ordeal, if you ask Wade. He really loved his Hamnes.

send me a ship and a number / ask

[skittering-roach]

Wade Wilson

Do you love/hate/don’t feel strongly about this character?

I love him! He’s my good, good, murder boy!

What’s your favorite trait of this character?

Probably how he interacts with the kids of the Marvel universe honestly. Like I love his humor and back story and that’s defiantly what pulled me in, but I love how he’s one of the only adults that isn’t constantly talking down to the younger heroes or lecturing them. He’s also one of the few that doesn't just give up on the kids that are “damaged” or have a high potential to go evil. And in return, the kids are some of the only characters that treat him like he’s a person, and they go to him when they need help they can’t go to others for, whether it be just to talk or to ‘take care’ of a situation in a way the other heroes might not approve of. 

And I freakin’ hate every time they either break him out of character or torture him by making him kill kids (or his few friends for that matter!). Like, could we please not have any more Deadpool kills the Marvel Universe? Please!

What’s your favorite moment/even involving this character?

In the movies, probably when he asked Rusty if the guys at the orphanage had been abusing him and when the kid said yes he just immediately shot them. I’d been wanted to see a “hero character” do that since I was a kid and it was so freakin’ cathartic!  

Also, when he told Colossus ‘The kid was being abused, you can tell, you can always tell!’ it just hit me so hard. 

In the comics, I’m not sure, but this was a pretty freakin’ good one! (warning for talk about suicide if you open the link)

If you could have one power/attribute/etc. of this character, what would it be?

Either his healing or his quick wit. 

Have you ever pictured this character naked?

Pretty sure I’ve gone done drawn him naked! Not that that much imagination is necessary, he’s been naked in comics more times than I can count.

When did you fall in love/hate with this character? If you don’t have any strong feelings toward them, why not?

I think you might have actually been the one who showed me this character and got me into him. So it might have been from reading one of your stories with him in it. Or from you showing me one of his comics.

Who’s your OTP for this character?

Cablepool! But also Wade/Death; let Thanos cry about it.

[cablesummerss]

cablepool for the meme

[Send me a ship and I’ll tell you meme: OPEN]

Who asks the other on dates: Wade. Nathan is more than content lurking around the apartment and keeping his eye on the news, scoping through various internet channels, and listening to police scanners for any signs of trouble. Prepared to strap on his gear and go running to meet it, head-first. Wade makes him take breaks, real ones, and will drag him out to go do something that doesn’t have to do with saving the world.Who is the bigger cuddler: Wade. He needs touch like he needs air. Nathan doesn’t hold back but he mostly doesn’t have to initiate cuddles because Wade’s already on him like glue.Who initiates holding hands more often: Nate, usually because he’s trying to keep Wade’s attention or stop him from wandering off.Who remembers anniversaries: Nate. Moments and marks in time are important to him and he just has a head for remembering them.Who is more possessive: Equally possessive. They have their own ways of showing it.Who gets more jealous: Again, it’s equal. They have a very trusting relationship despite Wade’s outrageous ways of flirting with literally everyone. They have a healthy amount of jealousy. Not in the all-out fight kind of way, but in the eyebrows up in mild concern way. They’ve never had a fight about suspicion. Who is more protective: Nathan. It’s just who he is. Wade has a habit of not caring if he’s in danger, emotionally or physically. He throws himself under the bus before anybody else can and Nathan has to protect Wade from his own self sometimes. Remind him that he’s worthy of being loved.Who is more likely to cheat: Neither. Both are loyal to a fault.Who initiates sexy times the most: Depends on the universe. But in our Main Verse, it’s usually Wade.Who dislikes PDA the most: Nathan. He’s usually trying to accomplish something when he’s out and about and PDA isn’t bad, it’s just distracting. Wade can fucking wait until they’re home and not at the farmer’s market while Nathan is trying to haggle down the price of fall squash.Who kills the spider: Nathan. And he doesn’t kill it. He traps it in a glass and tosses it outside.Who asks the the other to marry them: Nathan. He thinks ahead about these types of things and just sort of beats Wade to the punch.Who buys the other flowers or gifts: One of Wade’s love languages is gift-giving, so Nate tries to buy him little things to make Wade feel special. Sometimes it’s a seasonal version of his favorite snack. Sometimes it’s a stupid little Funko Pop of a glow-in-the-dark Twinkie the Kid.Who would bring up possibly having kids: Wade, mostly as a joke.Who is more nervous to meet the parents: Nathan is nervous, but about Wade meeting his parents. He knows that Wade is a bit odd. And he worries about disappointing his parents while not caring what they think at the same time. It’s perplexing but Nathan would trust Wade to be on his best behavior.Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: Wade, just to have access to the TV.Who tries to make up first after arguments: Nathan, because he’s more likely to talk about his emotions.Who tells the other they love them more often: Wade. He’s just more verbal in general.

Thanks for supporting me and my idiot, dad. I hope?

[sciderman]

Sci what's your opinion on Cablepool? What's holding them back, why can't they just bite the bullet and go for it? In your comics it seems like Nate's all in, so what's the problem?

short answer: it's complicated

as much as wade would like it to be so very uncomplicated

[x]

bad communication on both sides, me thinks.

i think the main thing for me that's the most important thing that makes wade and peter work where nate and wade fail is the balance of power! i think in wade's relationships as a whole there's often an unfair power dynamic because - not only does wade often feel unworthy, he's often in relationships with characters that literally overpower him. shiklah, ness and nate are all crazy freaky powerful, and even carmelita was domineering over wade.

historically, wade's always with very dominating partners who kind of want to control him. even nate - with all his best intentions - wanting to change wade for the better. i think it's why peter's breech of wade's trust during the break-up stung so much. he's tired of being constantly policed and judged and controlled in his relationships.

the theme of control is so prominent in the cable & deadpool series. it's everywhere. even in the costuming. the harness? the choker? y

LOOOOOAAAAADED.

(it's why when the popular demand for the choker to return won out, i had to give peter one too. for me the choker will always be loaded with metaphor. and the balance of power between wade and peter is so, so important to me.)

i've joked a little about how in most of 9319 wade's relationships prior to peter, he kind of exclusively bottomed. peter's the first male relationship where wade's been on top at all (save for bob. but there was no penetracíoné in that arrangement.) so this is all new territory for wade. he's never been in a relationship like this one before, where it's a mutual give-and-receive, and peter is just as emotionally vulnerable as he is.

in fact - you're more often to see peter wearing his choker than wade, because more often than not wade's in the position of power - power that's only granted to him by withholding his emotions, and peter often feels powerless with wade because of it.

wade's coming to terms with that - how much power he actually holds over peter. i think it kind of takes him aback constantly, because he's so used to being the fragile party in his previous relationships, and it's made him all the more guarded.

(it's also why he expects something sinister. peter's hiding something. there's no way this boy is actually this soft and well-intentioned. surely peter's somehow still holding the cards.)

fact is, neither of them are holding the cards. they've dropped the cards all over the floor and neither of them want to pick them up and they're both going to cry about it.

sorry - i got sidetracked. ough. cable. right. that's what we're here about.

the theme of power and control is so, so at the forefront of the cable and deadpool series. it's kind of always a see-saw of wade trying to navigate morally complex situations and nathan constantly interfering to sway him this way or that - and you're left questioning whether wade's really learning anything, or if nate just tricked him again.

the fact is, nathan wants to play saviour for wade. wants to save him. nathan has a god complex, and oftentimes messing with wade's free will in attempts to teach him a moral lesson.

nate wants to be wade's saviour, but wade doesn't need a saviour. wade needs to save himself.

in the end-up with the cable & deadpool series there is a resolution for wade, and it proves that wade did grow beyond just seeking nate's approval. (which he does, tirelessly.)

in the end-up, nathan's gone. and wade still steps up, in nate's stead. he doesn't need nate to be there anymore, holding his hand.

i think it's something the series could've done better - i think nate's kind of a jerk who's redeemed by self-sacrifice and i'm not about that. so while 616 wade's all sentimental about it in canon - 9319 wade is not so sweet about it at all.

9319 wade differs from 616 in that he stays salty. he doesn't learn a lesson. he stays needy and selfish and mad - mostly sad. i think i like that in characterisations of wade - that actually, he's not a hero. and he doesn't have to be. he's selfish. we all are. we don't have to save the world. sometimes it's enough to just survive it. i think that's what wade embodies, to me.

i don't think - practically - nate could've been everything wade wanted from him (what with all his gargantuan responsibilities and self-sacrificial tendencies etc. etc.) and wade, realistically, can't match nate's hopes for him either. he relapses practically every time nate leaves him, and his progress resets constantly because he's consistently hit with brick wall after brick wall of overpowered messiah bullshit that makes him feel inept and undeserving.

wade might want so very badly to be deserving of nate's love and approval, but the heroic stuff isn't built into his fibre. it's just not.

i can't stress it enough. wade does not want to be a hero. he just wants to suck and fuck and retire to the bahamas with the man of his dreams. he's a simple man.

the only reason he even tries playing hero is for the promise of love.

he does not want to have to prove himself over and over and over again to be worthy.

for god's fucking SAKE can't a guy just suck and fuck and retire to the bahamas with his loving boyfriend without having to fucking save the world every week! what the fuck! what is wrong with this fucking economy!!

in that way - nate just can't give wade the companionship he needs. nate has way too many responsibilties weighing on his massive shoulder pads. nate is always going to be making sacrifices. it's in his nature. but wade - wade's constantly losing what he loves, non-voluntarily. he's sick of the sacrifice. he doesn't want to lose anymore.

for once, wade just wants his fucking happily ever after.

[queen-0f-the-nerds]

Men with the Lip Balm Tattoos

I FINALLY finished another Cablepool prompt! I’m so sorry it’s taking me so long, life really likes to get in the way of my writing. This is for @lookturtles prompt “Deadpool and Cable have to share a bed and end up cuddling. Soulmate AU - much to their carnage.” Hope you like it!

“Goddammit.”

Deadpool looked past Cable and started his dingy motel room checklist. Moldy carpet? Check. Single flickering light? Yep. Peeling wallpaper, no couch? Nothing surprising there. Door that either leads to the bathroom or a murderer’s basement? Of course. Bed coated in suspicious stains…wait.

“Shit.”

Nate sighed loudly and kicked the door shut. “You said there were two beds.” He began stripping out of his outer layers, carefully laying down his guns.

“I thought there were!” Wade said defensively, dumping his weapons and mask in a pile by the door and collapsing dramatically on the bed.

Nate rolled his eyes and picked up Wade’s weapons, placing them with care with his guns. “How about next time, you let me handle it?”

“What, with your special powers?” Despite his voice being slightly muffled by a pillow, Wade’s mockery was crystal clear.

“It’s called telepathy dipshit.”

“Oooh, big word for a little guy!”

Deadpool let out a very manly shriek as a metal hand closed around the back of his neck and threw him across the room. Cable settled on the now vacant bed, closed his eyes, and used telekinesis to turn out the light.

Wade’s face popped up beside the bed. “Heeeeeeey, big guy, how about we share the bed?”

A derisive snort was the only answer.

“C’mon…pleeeeease?” Wade gave his best puppy-dog eyes and exaggerated pout, slowly inching his way onto the bed.

Nate made the mistake of looking at him. “Ugh. Fine. Just stop looking at me like that. You look like a perverted baby.” Wade flung himself onto the bed aggressively enough to make the frame creak ominously.

“Don’t break the bed fuckface!” Nate whacked him upside the head.

“Sorry not sorry,” Wade whispered. There was silence for a few minutes as the two men shifted around, trying to get comfortable on one of the lumpiest mattresses ever discovered.

“Hey Nate?”

“What. Now.”

“Can you tell me a bedtime story?”

“Go the fuck to sleep!”

“Not that one, I’ve read it bef—” His whining was interrupted by Cable shoving a pillow in his mouth. Rude.

Wade woke up slowly, comfortably cocooned in a wondrous warmth. He nestled further into the warmth, which seemed to be coming from behind him…wait. Behind him?

“Why are you big spoon?!”

Nate jolted awake at Wade’s half-shout, arms tightening instinctively around Wade’s waist. His eyes snapped open and he stared down at their spooning bodies; a moment later, he flung himself off the bed, swearing up a storm and using a pillow to hide his – rather substantial – shame.

Unlike Nate, Wade made no effort to hide his morning wood. “I’m taller, I should be big spoon! Not that I don’t appreciate your junk poking my trunk.” Wade waggled his eyebrows at Nate’s pillow-covered crotch, absentmindedly scratching his left butt cheek.

Nate pinched his eyes shut. “Stop. Talking.” He rubbed at his right hip, shirt riding up a bit.

“Is that a tattoo?!?” Wade gasped dramatically, eyes wide, mouth gaping, one hand vigorously pointing at Nate; the other was still down his pants.

Nate glanced down at his hip and dropped the pillow in shock. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“When did you get a tattoo of lip balm?” Wade looked like both his birthday and Christmas had arrived early.

“It’s not a tattoo,” muttered Nate.

“What?”

Nate cleared his throat. “It’s not a tattoo. It’s a mark.”

“A mark?”

“A soul mark dumbass.”

Wade gawped in disbelief at Nate, still scratching his ass. “How do you know it’s not a tattoo?” he demanded.

Nate rolled his eyes so hard it must have hurt. “I wouldn’t get a tattoo of lip balm, you deformed fleshlight. And itching is a symptom of new soul marks.” He continued to rub at his mark.

“Well, I’m not itchy, so it can’t be a soul mark,” said Wade with the stubbornness of a petulant child.

Nate gave in to the urge that had been steadily building since he woke and facepalmed. “You literally haven’t stopped scratching your ass since we woke up.”

Wade did several things nigh simultaneously: he ripped his hand out of his pants, dropped-trou, and craned his head to take at gander at his own ass. Which led to a few minutes of Wade spinning in circles trying to see his left cheek, appearing quite a lot like a dog chasing its tail.

Nate’s metal hand grabbed Wade’s face, stopping his ridiculous spinning. “Go look in the mirror, fuckface.”

“Oooor…you could look.” Wade wiggled his eyebrows again, apparently attempting to be seductive while standing with his pants around his ankles.

“What.” Nate sounded so done with all this horseshit.

“Don’t you want to see your soulmate’s ass? Check out this prime hunk of grade A beefsteak?” He tried to shimmy against Nate, who simply cocked an eyebrow.

“I’ve seen it. Wasn’t that impressed,” deadpanned Nate.

“How dare you sir?! I’ll have you know wars have been fought over this booty! People bled and died for the honour of merely being in its presence!”

“Is that so?”

“Indeedio! I do believe I must remove myself from your ungrateful company, posthaste!” Nate let Wade go with a shove that sent him stumbling towards the bathroom.

“Just go look in the mirror fuckwit.”

Grumbling, Wade complied. There was silence from the tiny bathroom for a moment before he burst back out and promptly tripped over his pants, which he still hadn’t bothered to pull up.

“WE’RE SOULMATES!?” Wade screamed into the carpet.

“You really thought I’d make that up?”

“I don’t know! I just wasn’t expecting my soulmate to be a short, old, racist guy from the future! And now I have goddamn lip balm on my ass!” Wade banged his forehead on the floor.

“Why do I have to keep telling you: I’m not racist, you jabbering buttplug!”

Wade waved aside Nate’s denial. “Details, details. The important thing is, you’re shorter than me, and yet you’re the big spoon! What’s with that? And my mark’s on my ass! Why does this author think I’m such a bottom?”

“…what author?”

“I mean, I’m not a total pillow princess! I’m a manly-man! Maybe, MAYBE, I’m a power bottom! But just because a guy likes to get pegged doesn’t mean he’s a bottom! Clearly, I am in control of this partnership. Obviously, this author is just an idiot. I’m totally the top—” Wade cut himself off with a shriek as his ass was smacked, right on the mark. He gazed up from the floor to see Nate kneeling beside him, hand extended. “Did you just spank me?!”

“Got you to shut up, didn’t it?” Nate smirked. “Besides, you’re definitely a bratty bottom.” He stood and moved over to the weapons. “Hurry up. We got a lot to do today. If you behave, I’ll give you a nice treat, handsome.” He winked at Wade for good measure.

Wade took a deep breath before standing. This was going to be a fun day.

[spam-monster]

other shippers: ugh i hate all these new people coming into our territory i was here before this ship was mainstream gtfo

me and my Cablepool-loving ass after Deadpool 2: YESS YESSS OPEN UP THE FLOODGATES EVERYBODY GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE WE HAVING A PARTY TONIGHT BITCHES BREAK OUT THE WD-40 WOO-HOO!

[twentyonepilotsficlibrary]

Miscellaneous Fandoms Fic Rec Masterlist

This is something new we’re trying out. In our admin group chat we all started talking about our other fandoms/pairings we read and thought it might be fun to share some of our favorite fics. 

I know not everyone will be into this idea but i think it’s easily ignored if it’s not your cup of tea. Otherwise we hope you enjoy this mess of fics, maybe you’ll find yourself a new pairing, or maybe you’ll get inspired to write Joshler. 

we hope you enjoy! 

**this will be a long post**

Madi’s recs

Teen Wolf - Sterek (Stiles Stilinski & Derek Hale)

Cornerstone by Vendelin (6/6 | 83738 | Explicit)

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

//PTSD //anxiety attacks 

No Homo by orphan_account (12/12 | 84092 | Explicit)

Stiles' sophomore year starts something like this: 3 FourLokos + 1 peer-pressuring cat - 1 best bro to end all best bros = 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads "str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic". Derek is the fool who replies.

//internalized homophobia 

We Got Claws by Onlymystory (15/15 | 34914 | Mature)

Peter, Isaac, and Scott get de-aged. Stiles and Derek take care of them.

Harry Potter - Drarry (Harry Potter & Draco Malfoy)

Open For Repairs by FeelsForBreakfast (1/1 | 34901 | Mature)

After the war, Draco works at a tv repair shop and Harry breaks things.

feat. sad boys in jumpers and more ABBA than is probably necessary

There's a Pure-Blood Custom For That byLomonaaeren (36/36 | 105549 | Mature) 

The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?

Transfigurations by Resonant (1/1 | 71284 | Explicit)

Five years after Voldemort's defeat, Harry returns to England to help re-open Hogwarts.

//major character death 

IT - Reddie (Richie Tozier & Eddie Kaspbrak)

Yours Truly by Buttercup12 (14/14 | 51414 | Mature)

Eddie Kaspbrak has it bad. He’s bullied for being a tiny, delicate, hypochondriac boy. He’s also bullied for being very, very, very gay. Long story short, his life isn’t the easiest.

However, that’s all a piece of cake when compared to his gigantic, pathetic crush on Derry High’s most popular and oh so very straight Trashmouth, Richie Tozier.

Richie has no idea he even exists.

Right?

Wrong.

ugly moon by weepies (27/27 | 79482 | Teen and Up)

Richie Tozier hasn’t spoken a word to anybody since he came to Derry in the middle of the school year. Until he talks to Eddie Kaspbrak.

//abuse mention

----------------------

Christie’s recs

Harry Potter - Drarry (Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter)

Turn by Saras_Girl (14/14 | 306,708 | Explicit)

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (16/16 | 149,549 | Explicit)

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

South Park - Creek (Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak)

Do Not Try This At Home by Marasa (6/? | 32,100 | Mature)

A post is made that night detailing the rules of their arrangement:

• Video must be taken of the event.

• Video must be uploaded.

• Turns will be taken; after one group uploads, the other must upload as answer to the original post. This ensures equal stunts and higher expectations with each stunt.

• Don’t half-ass it; this is a fucking competition!

//depression //anxiety //past abuse //drug use

The Roommate by DoAsYouWill (27/? | 277,882 | Mature)

Craig is off to college, where he is introduced to the weirdest person he's ever met. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, (Craig can't decide), that weirdest person is his roommate.

Just your typical cliche 'meet as roommates' story, but with a lot of nostalgic undertones.

Deadpool - Cablepool (Wade Wilson/Nathan Summers)

Incognito by CQHD (Comet_Kohoutek) (2/2 | 5,810 | Explicit)

Deadpool introduces Cable to porn.

The video, Deadpool realises belatedly, is way too quiet. There's no cheesy bass line that gets stuck in his head and makes him feel each pulse in his dick. There's just the soft rustling of clothes against skin as the man strips. It's got an aesthetic to it, but it doesn't stop Deadpool from hearing the catch in Cable's breath once the man steps out of his underwear and crawls on to the desk. 

Toaster by edy (1/1 | 3,339 | Mature)

If someone were to strap you in and measure your heart rate, it wouldn't be a surprise to anyone to find it'd be beating in time with his own heart. The notion is meant to be romantic, as is customary in romances, and you think it might be romantic if an uneven heart rate wasn't a sign of a serious health condition.

//suicidal thoughts 

----------------------

Sydney’s Recs

South Park 

Do Not Try This At Home by Marasa (6/? || 32,100 || Mature)

A post is made that night detailing the rules of their arrangement:

• Video must be taken of the event.

• Video must be uploaded.

• Turns will be taken; after one group uploads, the other must upload as answer to the original post. This ensures equal stunts and higher expectations with each stunt.

• Don’t half-ass it; this is a fucking competition!

// depression, anxiety, past abuse, drug use

A Perfect Love Like Craig and Tweek by ugandadistrict9 (1/1 || 3,783 || Teen and Up Audiences)

Tweek and Craig have been close for a few years, and everyone says that they’re dating, but Craig has neither confirmed or denied it. Tweek has developed strong feelings for Craig over the time, but is worried that Craig doesn’t feel the same way he does.

Homicidal Maniac by Maroonedpunk (3/3 || 17,654 || Teen and Up Audiences)

They called him a homicidal maniac for years.

Then came the allegations against the coffee shop.

Tweek can’t do this by himself.

// depression, anxiety, drug use, mental illness

Spirit Animals by hollycomb (1/1 || 22,191 || Not Rated)

Cartman wants to film his amateur ghost hunting show at the site of the grisly McCormick massacre. Stan hates the idea but he can’t stay away, because Kyle will be there.

✓✓ Read by Boyue (16/16 || 65,196 || Teem and Up Audiences)

WENDY Nice picture but you have the wrong number.

AKA how Stan Marsh met Kyle Broflovski through a dick pic mishap.

// depression, alcoholism, derogatory language

Detriot: Become Human (Gavid Reed/RK900)

Chrysopoeian Heart by feistymuffin (6/? || 22,826 || Explicit)

Chrysopoeia - the act of transmuting a substance into gold

Gavin doesn’t like androids… but then again, nothing’s written in stone.

// graphic depictions of violence

Still by Terminallydepraved (1/1 || 4,277 || Explicit)

Sometimes it takes someone else nearly dying to make you realize the important things.

Life sucks, but in a beautiful kind of way by ConsultingStag (5/6 || 7701 || Mature)

Gavin stares at RK900 and regrets it immediately as its gray gaze bores into him. LED spinning yellow. Dissecting what happened. Analyzing the clues in front of it. And then a perfectly fake eyebrow lifts and equally fake lips twitch into a tiny smirk and Gavin knows that he is fucked. 

----------------------

Cade’s Recs 

Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia - Macdennis (Mac/Dennis Reynolds)

a beachfront of bad blood by castielanderson (1/1 | 28,366 | Mature)

or alternatively “Dennis Tries to Kill Himself: MacDennis Remix” Originally for the 2017 MacDennis Big Bang, but alas

.

They don’t have a falling out so much as a slowly drifting apart.  Being a dad makes Dennis tired, so tired sometimes he feels like he might never have energy again, and that means that he stops checking in with Mac as often.  Eventually, they stop talking.  Mac gets a boyfriend.  Dennis stops taking his medication.

After Dennis attempts suicide, Mandy insists he return to Philadelphia with the gang, and she will follow with Brian Jr. when she can.  Faced with an unwanted recovery, a failed family, and feelings he would rather ignore, Dennis is forced to navigate uncharted waters within himself and within his relationship with Mac.

//rape/non-con //suicide attempt //self-harm //eating disorders //depression

Fullmetal Alchemist - Royed (Edward Elric/Roy Mustang)

Reverti Ad Praeteritum by Batsutousai (30/30 | 288,908 | Mature)

Unwillingly forced to serve as a human trial for a crazy alchemist experimenting with time travel, Edward Elric finds himself standing across from Truth in the moment it takes his leg from him. Armed with the knowledge of what's to come and burdened with guilt for the choices he'd made as an adult, Ed sets out to fix every mistake he ever made and save every life they ever lost, no matter what it takes.

//underage //implied/referenced dubious consent //violence 

Know the Difference by ShanaStoryteller (1/1 | 9,083 | Teen)

“You’ve heard the rumors,” Mustang says, looking at Ed over the top of his latest report, “about the angels.”

Ed scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Angels don’t exist, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Of course, of course,” he murmurs, gaze sliding back down, “There have been multiple eye witness accounts, however.”

Ed slouches into the chair and doesn’t bother to keep the contempt to from his voice when he says, “Don’t depend on anything with wings to save you. Things that were made to leave always end up doing so, in the end.”

“Yes, well,” he says, “sometimes they come back.”

a terrifying clamour of trumpets by ShanaStoryteller (1/1 | 12,194 | Teen)

Edward grabs Marcoh’s arm and says, “That stone – what can it heal, exactly?”

The old man’s eyebrows rise to his forehead, and he looks like he already knows the answer when he goes, “Why do you ask, Edward?”

There's no metallic footsteps so there’s no way Al’s close enough to hear them. “I’m sick,” he admits after another moment of deliberation.

The Codeine Scene by Xyriath (31/31 | 111,257 | Explicit)

After finding himself entangled with King Bradley's gang of criminals and no way out, Roy Mustang must struggle between balancing his morals and the need to keep himself alive. He walks a thin rope, and a chance meeting of a young man, addicted to drugs and forced into prostitution, complicates matters further. By all rights, he should consider Edward to be collateral damage, an unfortunate bystander in his already difficult situation, but this is one person Roy soon finds he can't leave behind.

//rape/non-con //forced prostitution //drug addiction //mentions of suicide //mentions of depression 

Fullmetal Alchemist - Edling (Edward Elric/Ling Yao)

Nothing Gold by Rydia (ungarmax) (1/1 | 22,219 | Teen)

Ling has gained immortality. Ed has not.

//major character death

----------------------

Bard’s Recs

Bastille - Dyle (Dan Smith/Kyle Simmons)

and in the morning you'll be stranded in love (it goes around and around)by brujay (1/1 | 15,717 | Teen)

���Have you seen Groundhog Day?”

Kyle took a moment before replying. “I have… what exactly are you trying to say, here?”

Dan sighed again. “I think I’m living it.” Dan gets trapped in a time loop, and he is not having a good time.

//panic attacks

argonautica orpheus by trailsofpaper (Sanwall) (note: it is private, you can only read if you have an account but it’s too good to not share) (6/6 | 17,478 | M)

Kyle, like Jason on the Argos, sets out on a journey to retrieve something important but, more importantly, he finds love along the way. Dan, unlike Orpheus, doesn’t look back.

(Dan and Kyle are flatmates in Leeds, but when Kyle wrecks his keyboard a week before he and Dan are about to enter a competition, they need to go to London to get another keyboard. Complications and even shenanigans ensue.)

Harry Potter - Drarry (Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter)

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (1/1 | 40,913 | Explicit)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t. Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other.

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (4/4 | 114,741 | M)

Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.

Buzzfeed Unsolved - Shyan (Shane Madej/Ryan Bergara)

i think i'm still turning out by the_tenerife_sea (1/1 | 6,325 | General)

Shane is starting to think Ryan is using him for his baby, considering how much he’s already talked her up to all of their coworkers and friends. ____

Or the one where Shane is a new parent, and Ryan is always there for him (and his daughter, of course).

[neveralarch]

Hello! if you're still taking fic/summary prompts, 14. telepathy and Marvel (comics or MCU), any pairing?

Yes! I got attacked by a sudden case of ‘doing things,’ but I’m still taking prompts (and I have 2 more in my inbox to do when I get a chance).

Anyway, I hope you’re up for Cablepool because clearly the worst possible outcome of this prompt is when Wade Wilson catches telepathy from Villain of the Week and starts projecting thoughts. T-rated summary/snippet under the cut, mild references to violence, sex, and self-harm.

Telepathic Wade drives everyone absolutely bonkers, because while they previously believed that every single weird gross dirty thing that Wade ever thinks of immediately comes out of his mouth, it turns out that’s not even close to being true. Wade has SO MANY inappropriate fantasies, and songs stuck in his head, and very funny, absolutely hilarious jokes, and very dark and unwanted intrusive thoughts which he then drowns out with MORE inappropriate fantasies and it’s just exhausting. So exhausting. Wade thinks it’s kind of fun to take bad guys out just by showing up and standing around until they stop screaming and start begging him to leave.

But it’s not just bad guys who don’t want to be around him. Weasel’s banned him from the bar, and Vanessa says she still loves him but they’ll have to be satisfied with phone sex until this gets cleared up because she can take the inappropriate fantasies and the dark thoughts, but she absolutely cannot get off while listening to Wade’s very-slightly-remembered version of Toto’s Africa on repeat.

(He can only remember the part where it goes dun-dun-dun-dun-duh-dahhh-dahhhh, not even any of the lyrics.)

After a couple days the isolation starts to wear on Wade, and he goes to sit on a rooftop and mope and pretend to be Batman. Which is when Cable shows up to check on him.

“You really don’t want to be up here with me,” says Wade.

“No, I don’t,” says Cable. “It’s fucking cold. Next time you should sulk somewhere with heating.”

So of COURSE Hot in Herre starts playing in Wade’s head, with a very vivid accompanying image of Cable pulling his jacket off, and then his shirt, and then unzipping his pants, and hey, would you look at that, the metal goes alllll the way down-

Cable has to pull Wade away from bashing his head against the transformers on the roof, which mostly causes more property damage than brain damage anyway.

“You should leave,” says Wade, nuh nuh nuh, so take off all your clothes, “I don’t want you to see this.”

“What are you talking about?” says Cable.

“My thoughts! My terrible thoughts that are projecting into everyone’s heads and driving them away just like I always knew they would!”

“Huh,” says Cable, and drops the mental blocks that he’s kept up around Wade since literally five minutes after they met. His eyes glaze over. “Hm.”

“You get one free hit,” says Wade, miserably. “And then I start stabbing. Both of us, probably.”

“I hate to break it to you,” says Cable, “but my dick’s not that big.”

“That’s it?” Tentatively, Wade lets the fantasy get worse. Disco lights. Leather chaps. A kazoo solo.

Cable doesn’t even blink. “It’s not the worst thing I’ve seen in someone’s head.”

And it turns out that Cable’s been telepathic this WHOLE TIME, and didn’t mention it because he’s a MONSTER and also most of his psychic powers are taken up with managing his weird metal disease, also also it’s ‘not polite to read minds,’ which Cable says with exactly the cadence and conviction of someone saying it’s 'not polite to pick your nose’ just because they had some wacko parent who taught them to be ashamed of their bodies when they were three and a half.

Over the next couple weeks, Cable helps Wade learn how to put up blocks, completely refuses to wear leather chaps, but seems strangely willing to consider taking his shirt off for Wade’s benefit. Wade keeps his thoughts more or less to himself, after that, or as much as he ever did. Except for when he releases them in an awesome mind beam to destroy assassins.

Wade KNEW that telepathy could be cool.

[bigasswritingmagnet]

Once More, With Sincerity

Fandom: Deadpool (comics)

Pairing: Cablepool

Rating: PG-13, I guess?

Summary: There's a big, creepy, psychic tentacle monster making a mess downtown, and the X-Men are having some trouble coming up with a way to take it down. Nathan has an idea -- and this time Wade's going to like it.

Nobody else will though.

Sequel to Petty Doesn't Look Good on Us

AO3 link | I do commissions! | Ko-fi

“Why are psychic monsters always shaped like giant brains?” Wade asked. The monster turned slowly, one impossibly giant eye roving towards him.

Both Jubilee and Emma grabbed him by the arms and hauled him back down behind the half-destroyed wall, out of sight.

“Stop standing up!” Jubilee hissed at him. “It’s going to see you!”

“Well so-rry,” Wade grumbled. “Wait, one more time.”

“Wade-!”

“I knew it,” he said, dropping back down. “This thing is a blatant rip-off of the tentacle monster from Watchmen. Beak, weird brain head, tentacles—except the one in Watchmen didn’t walk on the tentacles and it didn’t shoot eyebeams, it just kinda landed on people.”

“Could someone please make him stop,” Jubilee asked the world at large.

“Greater men than you have tried, my dude.”

“Alright, I’ve seen enough,” Emma said, rubbing her forehead. “We need to go back.”

They awkwardly crouch-walked their way back to the mostly-intact 7-11 the X-Men (and Wade) had turned into their temporary base. Straight confrontation had gone disastrously: the thing was shielded from bullets and absorbed psychic attacks of any kind. Since the team consisted of three psychics, a walking sparkler, claws, and lasers (and Wade), they were going to need a very creative solution.

“We’re back,” Emma announced. She swept through the entrance with a level of drama that seemed wholly out of place amongst the debris of snack cakes and exploded soda bottles.  “Some news, and it isn’t great.” In a slightly softer tone of voice, she asked “how is she?”

Scott’s frown deepened.

“She’s awake. She says she’s fine.” It was clear from his tone that he did not agree.

Jean had tried a frontal assault on the monster, attempting to overload it with psychic energy. She had to be carried away from the battle.  Logan and Scott had refused to leave her side while Wade, Jubilee, and Emma went on their scouting run, preferring to stand vigil. It was exhaustingly predictable of both them and her. Wade hadn’t been worried; she’d just come back from the dead a year ago. She had a little more time before they’d do something like permanently stick her in a coma.

Wade made a beeline for Nathan in that way where he was trying to look like he wasn’t. Hovering by the twinkies for a while, pretending to debate between the cherry and strawberry twizzlers, all gradually scooting his way across the store until he was next to Nathan. The man was sitting with his back to the wall, legs crossed, apparently deep in meditation.

Wade knew better, though. He knew that particular wrinkle in Nathan’s forehead, and it meant he had a real monster of a headache. Nathan hadn’t suffered as badly as Jean but he’d been very pale when they fled from the monster. Wade didn’t like that At All.

He rattled a bottle of pills by Nathan’s ear, making his eyes snap open.

“I got you some aspirin from a CVS we passed on our way out. I don’t know if they’re any good against attacks from giant squid brain things, but it couldn’t hurt.”

Nathan smiled.

“Worth a try,” he said. “My head feels like it’s about to split in two.” He reached up, but his hand lingered, fingertips brushing at the small strip of skin between Wade’s glove and sleeve. A warm, bright smile smoothed away the worry line. “Thank you, Wade.”

“Whatever,” Wade said, not quite managing to hide the squeak.

If he keeps doing this, we might actually die.

Nathan had been acting very strange, the last few weeks. Always finding an excuse to touch Wade or stand near him. Sneaking away from the others when they were at the mansion so they could make out in dark corners and closets like teenagers. Watching him with a strange little smile whenever Wade wasn’t looking, but only smiling more when Wade caught him.  

At first Wade thought it was Nathan trying to make up for the whole “let’s get married to spite everyone who doesn’t take our relationship seriously” debacle, except Nathan knew he was over the whole thing and he was still doing it. (Well, relatively sure he knew. They hadn’t exactly talked about it. Wade preferred to pretend it hadn’t happened. It kept him from worrying that that might have been his only chance.)

Don’t get it wrong, the extra flirting and making out was great, and Wade really liked it. It was just that Wade liked it so much it made his brain forget how to do brain things right.

Nathan made to dry-swallow the aspirin, but Wade grabbed his wrist.

“Nuh-uh! Do you have any idea how bad that is for you? Take it with something.”

“Wade,” Nathan started, with a fond-yet-exasperated smile.

“Don’t you ‘Wade’ me, buster.” He began to rummage around in the busted refrigerators until he found a few bottles of room-temperature Gatorade ™. “Here. Replenish your electrolytes while not burning a hole in your esophagus.”  

“Be careful,” Nathan warned. “People might start to think you care.”

“I’m trying to protect your reputation as someone who isn’t a total dingus,” Wade said, watching carefully to make sure Nathan actually drank. “You should be thanking me.”

Nathan gulped the last of the drink and stood. He was just a little bit too far into Wade’s personal space again, giving him that same heated look.

“Thank you,” he said, trailing his fingertips up Wade’s arm. “I appreciate it.”

Then something happened to Nathan’s expression. His eyebrows came down and his eyes flicked over Wade’s face, like he was trying to read him through the mask. Which was weird, because Nathan never had any trouble reading Wade. Like, ever.

“Wade, I…there’s something…Look, I’ve been thinking, and—“

“Hey,” Jubilee called. “You guys coming or what?”

The weird expression rapidly morphed into a much more familiar ‘annoyance at the world at large’. Nathan sighed heavily.

“Nevermind. We’re coming,” he called back. Wade stared after him, mystified, then shook himself and followed.

“Emma, what can you tell us?” Nathan asked, now in full Messiah Mode.

“Not much, except that it isn’t just absorbing psychic energy, it’s feeding on it. I’m pretty sure its default is to sustain itself on the emotions of people around it.”

“Only pretty sure?” Nathan asked.

“I can’t touch its mind for too long or it starts sucking at me—don’t.” This to Wade, who had opened his mouth.

“So if we cut off its supply of emotions, it’ll shut down,” Jubilee said. Emma made a noise that, coming from a poorer and uglier woman, would have been a snort.

“And how exactly do you intend to shut down its supply?” she asked, nastily. “It’s in the middle of a city. Unless you can find a way to teleport it somewhere a good fifty miles in any direction from any sentient creature--“

“Tennessee?” Wade suggested.

“I can say this,” Emma said, ignoring him. “Every time I touch its mind and it starts sucking—don’t – I always feel one overwhelming emotion. Just one at a time, and always very basic. I don’t think it can handle anything complex.”

“So if we gave it a high concentration of a wide range of emotions all at once, it would overwhelm it?” Nathan asked. Emma shrugged.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Scott said. His voice was tight with worry and anger. “Maybe isn’t good enough!”

“Well maybe is all you’re going to get!” Emma snapped back. “I’m doing the best I can, Scott. I’m not a miracle worker! I’m trying to be careful.”

“Jean already tried overwhelming it, and it didn’t work. We need a different plan.”

“Jean tried a straight attack of pure psychic energy, and she didn’t do anything to shield herself. This is different.”

Scott bristled instantly.

“That was not her fault.”

“Scott, it’s fine—“  

“Of course it is! She decided to run in half-cocked—don’t!”

“I have an idea,” Nathan said calmly, taking advantage of the break in her tirade. “But we need to get close.”

“I don’t think I’d be much good,” Jean admitted. “Emma’s right. I’m burnt out.”  

“I’m staying with her,” Scott said, firmly.

“No, you aren’t,” Nathan said, firmlyer. “If this is going to work, you both definitely need to be there.”

They were less than a block away from the monster. They could hear the slick, sticky sound of its tentacles dragging along the ground. Whenever it let out that awful, piercing roar, they all flinched, feeling it rip straight through them.

“Okay, so we’re here,” Jubilee whispered, back pressed against the wall. “Now what’s this great big plan of yours?”

Instead of answering, Nathan grabbed Wade’s hand and pulled him slightly away from the others. Wade followed, finally starting to worry. Nathan was secretive about his schemes on a good day, but there was something about his demeanor that was setting off alarm bells in Wade’s head.

If this is another Providence type plan, I say we preemptively murder him.

Co-signed.

“Motion carried,” Wade murmured. Nathan didn’t seem to hear him. Once they were in a space relatively clear of rubble, he turned and took both of Wade’s hands in his own.  

“I know you wanted a big production. I was trying to think of a speech on the way over here but I couldn’t come up with anything good.” Nathan’s mouth twitched into something a little too sickly to be a smile. His throat worked hard and that weird expression came back, tight and twitchy and--

He’s nervous, Wade realized. When had he ever seen Nathan nervous? Scared, once or twice, uncertain several times, even uneasy, but nervous?

Nathan went down on one knee, and Wade’s heart stopped beating.

omigod

“I love you. Will you marry me?”

Wade’s palms went sticky. Was this actually happening? Was this a hallucination? It didn’t seem like a hallucination, since Nathan was still fully clothed, but this sure as hell couldn’t be actually happening.

“I, I’m, I don’t—wait, are you only asking me because you think it’ll kill the monster, because Nathan I swear to god—“

“No, Wade. I’m asking you for real, because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Only with you.”  

The word came out of Wade’s mouth so fast he almost choked on it.

“Yes.”

The monster let out a horrific, ear-splitting shriek of agony, so loud that everyone winced and clapped their hands to their ears. Everyone but Wade and Nathan, who were staring at each other and smiling. Nathan stood, slowly, Wade’s hands still clasped in his, as the monster exploded with a horrible shlorp noise.

Purple goo splattered down around them like sticky rain. Huge globs of monster brains crushed cars and left small craters in the streets. Nathan was wearing the biggest, happiest smile Wade had ever seen on his face.  Judging from the way his cheeks were starting to hurt, Wade was too.

“I know you mentioned fireworks,” he said. “I hope that’s close enough.”

“Shut up,” Wade said, trying very hard to pretend like he wasn’t about to cry, fumbling to pull his mask up over his nose. “Shut up and kiss me right now.”

Nathan leaned in and Wade went up on his tiptoes and there were car alarms shrieking in the background and everything smelled vaguely like fish and it was the single greatest moment of Wade’s life. Their lips were a millimeter away when--

“Are you out of your mind?”

Nathan sighed.

“Scott—” he started. Wade grabbed his head and yanked him right back down, kissing him hard. Nathan leaned into it, and the two wrapped their arms around each other. Vaguely Wade heard Emma saying "he's kidding, right? It's a joke."

"I think it's sweet," Jean said, defensively. Wade was momentarily surprised, then mentally wadded up everything that wasn't Nathan and tossed it into a trash can. Nathan was smiling against his lips, and Wade could feel that his heart was beating a little faster than normal. Who cared what the X-Dorks thought? Nathan was his. For real this time.

An astounding improvement from last time. A+

If I had hands I'd be applauding.

After a few more eternities, Nathan asked “Better?” Wade wasn’t sure if he meant the proposal or the kissing. Either way…

“I think you nailed it,” he said with a grin.

“Nathan!” Scott shouted, but they were already kissing again.