#byt it doesnt take much for me to cry

[lobotomize-d]

Reading a fanfiction in 2021 that started out pretty wholesome but it was still a w.i.p and updated slowly only to find out 3 years later it's finished but then it turned into the most gut twisting soul crushing tear jerking thing you read in awhile

[huckurns]

omhaa steaks date: Mon, Apr 29, 2019 at 10:04 AM

my boss gives out coupons he loves the things thats his weekend, a kitchen island covered in all the taactile sticky non newspaper paper that lives in the middle  of the newspaper its a colorful mess, ot some acme got come khls got some best buy got some shop rite gor some good stuff for customizable checks you can get those things personalized, i bet i mean if i had a check book i alwasy thought it would be cool to have it be like a full football field wiht the end zone in siht i thought it would be a strong presence when signing the initial checks to start my llc for my custom car cleaning business, i mean that was a side project haha a real pike dream i just really wanted to get my hands all over my bosses car, but haha his coupons wouldnt work on me, but yeah sometimes he invites me over on the weekend to go through his collection, he takes a walk early saturday and opens up everyone on the street over from his newspapers, he lives in a condo development so the streets are all the same and it his neighbors all know its him but he still likes to take the coupons from the street bc he knows they have the best newspaper variety, some good pickings, everyone knows the times has the more upscale super market coupons he even mentioned how this weeknd he found what he thought could be the best coupon. sometimes hell just flaunt them around the office, like 'oh eveeryone ! we could e having a morning coffee cake 2 for 5 entements of course, BUT YOU ALL ARE SLACKING AND IT AINT EVEN WEDNESDAY YET MAYBE THE EXPIRATION DATE ON THIS GUY WILL RUN OUT BEFORE I CAN USE IT ON YOU GUYS HAHA OPH WHATS THIS IT EXPIRESFRIDAY UH OH SOME PEOPLE GOTTA GET their numbers up AND THOSE people who whta numbers need to go up and they all should know whom they are bc it s all of you ALL OF U NEED TO GET ALL YOUR NUMBERS UP. he meant it too, but this eweeekend when he showed me the omaha steaks gift card he said it with a tone that was different from his auther flaunts or taunts he showed me the coupon and saif " this could cahnge it all, this right here could turn the office around... i think i should give it to you. ITLL GIVE ME TOO MUCH POWER i cant start you know being a opush over all of a sudden i cant strart cashing in these coupons for my people i mean you are all my people i may be harsh sometimes , but an expiration date is a nice motivating factor right? you guys get all jived uop i can see if, i tell you that the deal on 36 packs of pepsi products aint going to last all week and yeah you guys might crack a few extra pops, BUT IT IS ALL FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME, PLAY HARD OR GO HOME if you aint cracking papsis to be getting more pepsis then idk where you are from bc from where i am from we gotta crush a can to crack a can." so he gave the omaha steaks coupon to me, then he snatched it back real quick" what what the fuck this is alot, this is alot of beef, HOLY SHIT THIS . IS A LOT OF COW MY MAN this is a lot of BEEF MY mAN, haha i mean maybe i cant give u all the credit they are going to lose it at work, but i mean what if they dont make it in time, what if you tell them the expiration date and it is too much and they start seeating start them meat sweats thinking about all the meat, before they are even close the the numbers we need to be doing they would already be mioles away thinking about green pastors and cows noshing cud chewing cud into their multiple stomaches, HELL WHAT AM I DOING, CUT THAT OUT i fires amanda right shes long gone haha, she told me that whole cud bullshit that whole 2 stomach lie amanda was so full OF HER SELF SHE DIDNT SEE EYE TO eye with the company hahaha but why am i telling you that you fired her haha for me may have you but i mean we didnt need her aroudn she would not have stood for this ill tell you that she would rip up this coupon in plain sight right on the spot ON SIGHT, damn vaygan damn stinky oat pusher, ahahaha no she was nice i gave her a nice reference and refered her to our other branch a little outside the city but outside enough that they have drool worthy rent, tgheres a brudgening art community out there more affordable living, and more of a focus on copmmunity, working together with neighbors and friends to be building a smaller more sustainable community, ahhahahahah it makes me sick what numbskulls." he give s me the coupon back "itll be simple okay," my boss, my boss is now looking for his beverage, id say coffee bc that what it looks like but this guy abstains from caffine i dont think he is mormnan but mentioned the complete power that mmornam fathers have he has given full speaches to full conferences of peple from aroudn the world on how mormon fathers are so powerful, how they control their whole familyds and brainwash their young into doing whatever they say. i know a mormomn and over the weeekdn she posted for her brothers birthday on insta gram, one of the most unforgivable acts one can preform on instagram, but this post, for her brother was a screenshot of a text from her dad and it was a picture of her brother sent from her father and it said: heres you post for gus's birthday with the caption : mr gus is growing up. and she just posted the whole screenshot which yes, right on the nose like she is aware she must be nuts like she is self aware that she is brainwashed by father but like is this a cry for help i saw that post and was like okay so this is just her mormon instagram where all the comments are people also apart of the acult but then i was like maybe this person is so delusisional that they are okay portraying themself as complete slave to their parents its weird in a way that she feels her father is her boss. its odd. "you take the coupon, where the hell is my ovultine," a big stack of the slippery colorfully printed coupon paper starts to slide off the table but its that slow fall where the top starts to fall and eventually the full stack will fall, but each layer has to pull the next layer down with it so itll take a while to fully fall but my boss lets em all fall as he takes a gulp from his chocolate drink. "oyou take the coupon you present it to everyone in the office you can even stand on my desk ill allow it this will be a bbig day, ill call out that day so that you can look like a dark horse and everyone will cheer for you, ill be hidining in my closet while this is going down but thats just for me:) i just want to hear their yelps when you exclaim when you announce nononon WHEN YOU DECLARE THE OFFICE BBQ, byt you really got to sell it it might help if you read soime of the lines off here, " BIG OMAHA STEAKS BIG JUICY T BONES" wow somne of this i might have to keep haha my freezers full, but it can go in the drink fridge in the 'rage in the garage thats whata i call my garage the 'RAGE but yeah i think theyll be into it, maybe something like 'OMAHA down set OMAHA HIKE EEEEE" its a football thing, those colts fans will get a real kick out of it a big kick. " hes standing on the couch stepping around the couch, crunchin coupons as he steps on the couch, he is dancing around like a quarter back pass faking everywhere pass faking around the living room. "OMAHA AAAAAA HIKE OMAHAAAAAAAAAAA"  he has done this before sadly, the omaha steak coupons arent rare they arent they just send them out seasonally so poepl get more excited for them the coupons are all for over 500$ worth of meat its a big deal he doesnt realize that he still has frozen beef in his drink fridge. "omahaaaaaaaaa down set OMAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAA,  donwn set down set down set;..... HIKE OMAHAAAAA.. go for it this time okay go good for it this time we really gotta go get em good this time OUR NUMBERS WILL NOT LIE I AM TRUTH AND MY NUMBERS ARE THE FACTS AN EXPIRATION DATE IS JUST A MOTIVATION FACTOR TO GET IT BEOFRE ITS GONE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE BEFORE ITS NO GOOD ANY MORE" he breaks down in tears "I COULD HAVE BEEN A BEEF I COULD HAVE BEEN A QUARTER BACK"