#bymzz

[chuplado]

I can’t stop myself. Paano mag-move on? Papaano ko siya kalilimutan? Paano ko maibabaling ang isip ko sa ibang bagay nang ‘di siya naaalala?

Naaawa ako sa sarili ko, ngayon lang talaga ako tinamaan nang ganito. Ang tanga naman kasi eh, gets ko na naman na walang kahihinatnan eh, pero hinayaan ko pa rin ang sarili kong madevelop. Pinanghawakan ko yung mga signals niya, mga gestures niya, yung words of affirmation niya, na para bang hindi siya bibitiw – pero sa huli, realization lang pala niya ang magpapahinto sa kanya: na hindi niya kaya nang malayo kami sa isa’t isa. Gi-nuard na niya agad ang sarili niya para di na niya ma-experience ulit yung mga dating napagdaanan na niya sa ibang tao..

…

… pero paano naman ako? Ako itong gustong subukan pa eh, nangungulit pa rin nga ako hanggang ngayon kasi gusto ko talagang subukan. Pakiramdam ko naman, kakayanin ko (kahit physical touch ang love language ko) - kahit subukan lang muna sana. Pero wala eh, binitawan agad. Biglang ang lamig lamig na agad, daig pa Disyembre. 😞

…

Ang sabi naman niya, “let’s be good friends” and i-contact ko raw siya whenever I fly to their city - hindi ko alam, siguro baka i-eentertain niya ako, ewan ko, ewan ko sa kanya.

Hayssss. Nakakapagod mag-isip, nakakapagod huminga kapag ganito nang ganito ang nangyayari sa araw araw. Konting lambing naman, universe oh. Pakiusap. 😭

[unshapereality]

This has been a difficult project. Heavy. I found myself terrified to put paint to canvas. See, the painting of the girl is not mine. It was painted by a woman who died suddenly. Leaving behind her family and friends, she also left behind two unfinished paintings. During her down time she was painting her kids. And now, here I am, trying to help bring some peace to a widowers heart by emulating the style and finishing the paintings. It’s one of the most difficult projects I’ve done- how does one compare to the original? The first painting and the sketches are full of a maternal love that I just can’t match. But I’ll do my best, to honor her memory and complete her project and bring a bit of closure and fulfillment to a hurting household. Soundtrack: @weyesblood . #art #artist #artistsoninstagram #portrait #family #motivation #healing #painting #acrylicpainting #love #music #vegas #vegasartist #logandoesart (at Las Vegas, Nevada) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByMzZ-wHck3/?igshid=31e581ihgp8j