#by the way before anyone tries to kill me sebastian and emily are two of my most FAVORITE characters and i put a lot of pressure on myself

[azuneekun]

Lol saw your tags, thanks for loving my pfp. My friend group has a big joke about rats so it seemed fitting.

Must know: who is your favorite sd character to draw besides Shane? Least favorite?

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Target

Summary: You’re the target of a serial killer your dad has been trying to find for years. 

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x daughter!reader

Warnings: Mentions of serial killers, guns, etc. 

-

For the first time in a long time, you were the target. You and your dad knew the day would come, but you didn’t expect it to be so soon. You were just getting home from school, hanging up the phone from having a conversation with your dad, and as soon as you opened the door you felt the air shift. You thought nothing of it. You let your guard down. And Foyet was the one who took advantage of it. 

Your dad only realized you were missing after you didn’t text him about what you were doing for dinner like you said you would - there was a pool of your blood on the floor as soon as he opened the door. Your phone was there, on the table. The necklace you always wore had been ripped off your neck and was buried in the carpet. They were able to tell how long the blood had been there for, so they were able to tell how long you’d been missing for. 

Garcia found out that you’d been admitted to a hospital under a fake name by someone who had Derek’s credentials. You were alive, barely. Because he didn’t want to kill you. He wanted to see your dad in pain, and that was what he got. 

“She’s okay, Hotch,” Garcia said as she finally got him on the phone. “She’s at Saint Sebastian’s. I gave them her real name and told them about all the issues she had when she was a kid. They said she’ll be fine.”

“Alright. I’ll head over there. Do me a favor and don’t tell the rest of the team, especially Morgan. It’ll distract them. If she’s alright that’s enough for me,” he responded. He hung up the phone and calmly excused himself, got in the car, and drove to where you were. 

“She was stabbed in the stomach three times. Nowhere near any organs. I’d say that was intentional, if you ask me. A bullet grazed her shoulder. She has a mild concussion. But she’ll be perfectly fine,” the nurse who was watching over you said. Hotch looked into the glass room, sighing at the designs on the wall in the children’s wing. You were a kid. You shouldn’t have to deal with this, he thought. He had promised you that you never had to be afraid of anything while he was around. And it was his fault the promise was broken. 

“Dad?” You asked, opening your eyes. You could barely see, but you would recognize him anywhere. He put his hands in his pockets, gripping onto your necklace in one of them, and walked in the room. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said softly, leaning against the door frame like he was afraid to get any closer. He didn’t know what to do or say. The situation had only ever been reversed - you going to visit him. And he would always tell you that he was going to be fine. 

“I’ll be fine,” you replied. It was the only thing you could think to say. 

“I know. They said you already talked with another officer, but...”

“Why didn’t he kill me?” You interrupted. He stood up straight and walked into the room, pulling up a chair and sitting next to you before answering. 

“What did he tell you?” You looked up at him. He knew the answer. He just wanted you to figure it out for yourself. You sniffled as it all came back to you. You didn’t want to cry, not in front of him. 

“I got home. I put my phone down right after I hung up. And I walked toward the kitchen and I heard a noise, so I turned around. He was there. He said this is for your father. And then he shot. He didn’t mean to make it. He had this sick look on his face and he pushed me down and held a knife over me. He said I would be okay. He said you’d find me in no time. And then he stabbed me and he started saying that he knew how bad it hurt. I think I passed out after that and then I woke up when I was in surgery and they told me what happened.” You were freely crying, shaking out of fear in remembering what had happened. You tried to control yourself in front of him, but this time you couldn’t. 

“It’s fine, you don’t have to tell me anything. You don’t have to talk to anyone.”

“But maybe it’ll help you find him.”

“He’s long gone now. That doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re safe now, okay? I’m calling your mom. The FBI is taking you two and Jack to...”

“No,” you cried in protest. “No, I don’t want to leave.”

“I can’t keep you safe here,” he said. There was no emotion in his voice. There never was. No matter what, he was always strong and stoic and now you wished he would just show you a little bit of his human side. You wished he would tell you that you could stay. 

“I don’t care. I want to stay with you. I feel safe when I’m with you.” 

“But you almost got killed. You have to understand that.” His voice cracked a little and he stood up, turning away from you. “You should get some rest. I’ll send someone over to the apartment to get you some clothes and your computer.” 

“No!” You responded loudly. It was enough to cause a stir in the hallway outside. “Dad, if you waited for there not to be a threat, I would never see you again. You know that. So stop pretending like you’re sending me away because of a threat.” He turned toward you again, rubbing his eyes with his fists. He was tired. Exhausted, actually. 

“I’m not sending you away, I’m trying to keep you safe.” “I’m safe with you,” you insisted. “Don’t leave me.” You grabbed onto his hand and realized he was holding something in his fist. You gently pried his fingers open and found that it was your necklace. He’d been holding it the entire time.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said dryly. He dropped the chain onto the bed in front of you, watching as you let go of his hand to open the clasp with your fingernail. He’d gotten you the necklace for your last birthday. 

“Promise me you won't leave.”

“I can’t promise that. You know I can’t.”

“Dad, please,” you begged him. “Let me stay.”

“I don’t want to leave you either. And I promise, I’ll do everything I can to make sure nobody takes you away from me again, okay?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Just try to get some rest, okay?” You nodded. He tucked you in and stayed until you fell asleep, and when he got up again he could see the entire team making their way down the hall. Your dad shut the door behind him, meeting them. 

“How is she?” Derek asked, looking over at you as you tried to settle in. 

“She freaked out when I told her about sending her to the safe house. But she’s not fixated on what happened at all.” Derek nodded.

“She’s just a kid, man. She doesn’t want to leave her dad.” Hotch nodded. 

“Yeah. That’s the worst part.” 

“I’ll send the girls in with her. How about I take you over to get something to eat?” Hotch nodded, letting Derek shuffle him away. Your dad took one last look at you as you opened your eyes again, happy to see Emily and JJ as they walked in the room. No, your dad thought. The worst part was that this guy was still out there. And he had made it evident that he was coming back for more. 

A/N: This definitely was not as fluffy as I thought it would be, but if that isn’t the theme of the entire show... Thanks for reading :)

[wittykitty21]

Falling Together

//Shanexfarmer HarveyxFarmer Sebastianxfarmer??

TW !! Talk of self harm, suicide, drinking, abuse, death!!

Chapter Two; Warm and Cold Welcomes

As I walked into the Stardrop Saloon, Emily immediately ran over and hugged me. 

“You’re here!! You’re really back! I knew it was you the second I felt your energy hit the earth here.” She beamed. I hugged her back, I felt so accepted and warm here. She began introducing me to everyone, including a hot lean alternative guy with black swooped over hair, grey eyes and dressed all up in black along with a girl with purple hair and dressed in a black shirt with a frog printed on it. I assumed he was Robin’s son she had previously told me about. 

“Heyyyyy Guns n Roses, nice taste. I’m Sebastian and this is Abigail. Abigail smiled and  waved a little shyly  at me. Sebastian continued,“ Sure mom’s told you about me. What’s your name?” he looked flirtatious towards me, but before I could tell him, a flash of blonde hair ran over to me and i was immediately lifted at least two feet off the ground into a hug. 

“EVIEEEEE!!!!! I can’t believe its you!! We have so much catching up to do since we last made mud pies together. ” He smiled and put me back down. Me being slightly startled from his energetic golden retriever personality. Sebastian was laughing at the startled expression I had. 

“Awww Sam, missed me pushing you over and you crying when I beat you in video games? “ I smirked. 

“You know it! I’ve gotten pretty good over the years, you owe me unlimited rematches. And - Hey, I don’t think you’ll be able to push me over anymore, short stack. “ Sam was around 6′0 ft, and I had stayed at a measly 5′3 and a HALF since I was 13. I was happy Sam was the same overly optimistic ray of sunshine he had been since a kid. 

“Jeezzzz Sam give her some breathing room. Sorry about him, he’s always like this” Abigail chuckled. 

Sebastian slid back into the conversation, “So, Evie, is that your real name or is that your nickname?”

“Oh, yeah. I just go by Evie. My full name is Evangeline Eliza Jones-Destriu. I hate how long my name is.... and the fact my parents chose to hyphenate my last name.”  I smiled weakly. 

“Well a cute name to match a super cute girl with awesome fashion sense! “, exclaimed Abigail. “You have to show me where you get your clothes from.”

“As long as you show me where you got that frog shirt from, frogs are like one of my favorite animals.” I said excitedly.

After playing a little bit of pool with my new friend group, everyone else from the town started pouring in. I went up to Marnie, who was talking to Lewis. As I approached she immediately recognized me and hugged me. 

“Evangeline!!!! Oh my goodness. You’ve become quite the beautiful young woman. You look so much like your grandpa. I’m sure hes so proud of you for taking over the farm. I’ll be here to help you as much as you need getting started. When Shane gets here you should say hello to him.”

“Shane? “ I squinted a little, confused. 

“My nephew, you two were best friends whenever you spent the summers here.” she said a little worried. She noticed the bruise too, I tried to hide it behind my hair but I was starting to think it was inevitable. 

“I’m sorry Marnie, I have memory problems. I’ll talk to you more about it in private when we catch up, but if you point him out to me I’m sure I’ll remember his face. I’m just not good with names. “

Marnie seemed a little sad that I hinted at the fact life hadn’t been very easy for me. “He’ll be here in a bit, he’s almost always at the saloon after work. He’s usually over there near the fireplace and bar. If you want you can come over for dinner on Sunday, I’m sure you havent had a good home cooked meal in a while since living in the city.”

I smiled widely “I’d absolutely love that. I was just telling Lewis today about how much I missed your cooking.”

As I said that, a man in a tattered up hoodie, dark black-purple hair, who was quite broad shouldered and had a dad body walked inside the saloon. He looked void of emotion and tired. Emily wasn’t phased by this, she smiled and treated him like everyone else in the warm happy way she did. He looked almost angry at her for her being nice to him. That’s when Marnie said “Well there he is, that’s my Shane.” 

Maybe he just had a bad day, I thought. I thought about getting him something to eat to maybe cheer him up a bit. After all, I knew all about having bad days. So I walked over to Emily, and he peeked up at me, seeming annoyed. This built up anxiety in me, but my therapist said I needed to overcome my fear of upsetting people after all I’d been through. So I asked Emily, 

“Hey what’s Shane’s favorite food?”

“Oh, he loves pepper poppers. Um.... Evie, hes a little..... rough around the edges.” she smiled “but he has a good heart. He has a goddaughter named Jas, and he took her in.”

I nodded, and she handed me a plate of the spicy food. I walked over cautiously to him, he smelled like beer and whiskey. I slid the food beside him and he looked up at me kind of dazed, probably from the alcohol.

“Hey, I’m new in town, I don’t know if you remember me but I’m-”

“What the fuck do you want? I don’t fucking know you, so piss off and leave me alone.” He spat at me and didn’t even look me in the eyes. I stood back shocked, feeling tears well up. Emily went pale, Marnie, Sam and Sebastian saw the look of hurt on my face. I immediately turned around and went back to Emily. 

“Hey you okay? I’m sorry, he’s not normally that harsh. Here,” She said as she handed me a bottle of wine. “its on the house. I should’ve told you he’s uh, an angry person.”

I couldn’t speak, the feeling of panic and tears welled up in my throat and I knew it was visible on my face. I just looked at her and nodded. “I’ll be alright, thanks Emily. I just wasn’t expecting that. I’m gonna head home.” 

I took the wine and Marnie tried to stop me and talk to me, she saw the tears starting to come down and gave me a quick hug. As I turned to leave I felt like i was being watched, and I locked eyes with him. A sudden wash of recognition and regret hit his face. He saw he made me cry and i knew now he knew who I was. He put down his beer and looked like he was about to walk over. I almost ran out the door, and started sprinting towards the forest with the wine in hand. As soon as I knew I was out of earshot, I broke down. I looked for the pond my grandfather used to take me to when I was sad. 

---Back at the Saloon while Evie is in the woods, Shane POV--

Marnie walked over to Shane. “What has gotten into you? You grew up with that girl!!!! You made her cry after she wsa just trying to be nice to you.”

“I-I didn’t recognize who she was until she left. I’m going to find her and apologize, I’m sorry Marnie. I’m just--” he sighed. God. I always fuck up. He thought.

Marnie patted him on the shoulder “I know Shane. Just-- try to remember you’re not the only one who’s been through a lot. Okay?”

He nodded and left the Saloon to find and apologize to Evie. 

--Back to Evie in the woods, Shane POV--

I sat down at the edge of the pier and downed the entire bottle of wine. I hadn’t imagined something so small would make me relapse. The alcohol made me feel warm so i took off my long sleeve shirt and kept on my large band tee. The bandages and stitches itched with my mistakes. So I took them off. They probably needed a little air anyways. The vertical cuts that were held together with thread still looked pretty bad and they bled a little as I unraveled the wrapping, but they were at least mostly closed up with scabs. Around the wounds were bruises from Daniel, my ex -fiance. I could still see the finger marks were he had grabbed me on my arm. I cried somewhat loudly and just laid and looked up at the stars for a while. I started feeling dizzy, and tired. And the comforting numbness washed over me as everything faded into darkness. I thought I heard someone walking towards me but I didn’t care. They could kill me and I’d die happy right there. 

--Shane’s POV finding Evie--

I knew where she was going, the same place she went when she snuck out of her gradfathers when she missed her dad. I heard loud crying, like someone was in pain. It had to be her, I was already tipsy and quickened my pace towards the loud cries. Suddenly it stopped. Oh Yoba. Oh no. Why did it stop? 

I didn’t want to frighten her, so I tried to walk a little loudly. I saw a figure laid out on the pier, close to the edge of the side, she was about to roll off into the pond. “Evie? Hey.”

No response. Oh fuck. As i got closer I saw the empty wine bottle, and i felt a pang of guilt and worry. 

Wait. What the hell? I turned on my phones light and shined it on her, she passed out from drinking. But- what was...... 

I saw cuts on both her wrists that were obviously a previous suicide attempt, they were stitched together, but she also had dark bruises of all colors on her arms, and she had cried off her makeup, revealing a darkened eye as well.

I felt like I had just walked in on a crime scene. I never thought I’d meet someone more messed up than me, much less a childhood friend. What the hell happened to her? I tried shaking her awake and calling her name but she didn’t wake up. More panic and anxiety came over me. I picked her up gingerly in my arms to bring her to the clinic, she was so small and soft. She smelled like strawberries and vanilla. Shane studied her features. She had the same freckles, same button nose, same long eyelashes and dark hair as he remembered her having as she had when they were little. She was gorgeous too. How could anyone hurt such a beautiful fragile girl? What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I thinking this way? Get a grip Shane. 

I called Harvey, “Hello?” A groggy mans voice answered. 

“Hey uh Harvey, the new farmer girl, she’s actually a childhood friend of mine. I found her passed out drunk on a pier and she looks like she’s already been in bad shape. I can’t wake her up, I’m bringing her as we speak. She already has stitches and-- She’s just in a really bad way.” Shane’s voice quaked a bit at the end of his sentence.

“Okay, oh Yoba, thats not good. Hurry here as fast as you can okay? I’ll get things ready for her so I can immediately work on her. Is she breathing? “ The words Harvey said made me panic more. Fuck. I didn’t even check to see if she was fucking breathing. I looked down and she was breathing gently and normally.

“Yeah she is, I think she’s just really drunk. I’m not sure.” I said back.

I carried her in, set her down on the hospital bed. Holy fuck. I hadn’t noticed how bad she really was hurt. She hid all of it with clothes and her long hair. She looked like she had been beaten over and over again over the past month. Even her eye and jaw had small bruises that had healed. Who did this to her? Then I saw the cuts. They were worse in the florescent lighting. Those were definitely on purpose. 

Harvey looked pale at the sight of her. “Okay, here, see if she has any emergency contacts on her phone. I’m going to get fluids into her. Aside from that, looks like all of this was from previous incidents.” and he closed the curtain leaving shane in the little area next to the room. She didn’t have but a few contacts saved. One of them was Daniel, as I selected his contact I noticed the number had been blocked. The picture of him was a guy with blonde hair and blue eyes, the athletic type. Looked like a general douchebag. A text came in from a random number.

“What the fuck? You think you can just run away from me? Restraining order is just a piece of paper. I’ll find you. I know you’re probably shacked up with some scumbag, you whore. Not even your father wanted you, your mom died and its your fault. You’ll never find anyone better than me.” It read. That had to be him. The whiskey helped fill me with rage, I typed the number into my phone and left to the lobby to call it. 

It rang a couple of times before a condescending voice answered,

“Come crawling back already psycho? You should’ve done a better job at trying to off yourself bitc-”

I cut him off, “Don’t contact her ever again. Or I’ll fucking kill you.” I hung up. And blocked the number. Why was I doing this? She was practically a stranger to me now.

I shook my head and left her phone with Harvey. I needed to sleep. I’d have Marnie call Harvey tomorrow to check on her. I looked at her one last time before I left, I remembered we’d have sleep overs, and she still slept curled up on her side. 

I went home and told Marnie, she shook her head.

“I’m sorry, Shane. I should’ve told you. Her father deserted her, he mother fell into drinking and killed herself. Evie found her when she was 18. Her grandfather died the same year. She has no one. I don’t know why she has bruises, but I suspect thats why she came here so far away from the city. Please be kind to her. ” She looked worried. 

“I-I...... yoba. I had no idea. She hadn’t-” I said then Marnie interuppted me.

“She didn’t come here probably because I wanted to run away from whoever hurt her that bad.”

I hardly slept that night, I got up for work in the morning and looked at the clinic on my way. 

I’m so sorry Evie. I need a fucking drink. 

[delightfulstarlightparadise]

Imagine Reader/Sebastian Part 6

I may or may not have exagerated on the size of this chapter heheh.... sorry

Previous part here: https://delightfulstarlightparadise.tumblr.com/post/629648429892665344/before-we-start-i-once-again-remind-you-that

I would like to remind you that English is not my main language, but I am doing my best. 

  You spend all morning collecting parsnips, but you get a very nice price for them at Pierre’s, enough to cover both your hospital and saloon bills, and also buy some food for the farm. It is a little less than what you used to make in a week, but you feel really nice about yourself.  

    You are happily walking back to the farm when you hear someone calling you.  

“Did I get your name right?” a blonde girl says coming down the stairs that lead to the fountain in the community center. “I really wanted to take a look at you. Emily had told me you were very good-looking.”  

    You turn to her and see that she is analyzing you from head to toes. This makes you feel a little vulnerable.  

“I guess under all that dirt and with some different clothes you might actually look pretty nice.” she says.  

“Excuse-me?!” is the only thing you can stutter behind a gag of disbelief.  

“I am Haley. My sister is the crazy blue haired girl that works at Stardrop.” she says.  

    You can’t even bring yourself to greet her.  

“I guess you won’t be much of a menace, then.” she speaks just like those mean girls you thought were only seen in movies. “See you around.”  

    The same sudden way she came, she goes away, charmingly walking in heels, moving her hips in an 80’s movie sexy way.  

“Told you being weird over here is nothing.”  

    You look behind your shoulder and Sebastian is smoking ,  coming from the bus stop path.  

“You know, Sam kicked me in a place that hurts this morning and I think somehow it is your fault.” he says without even greeting you. “Did you say something about the crush I told you?”  

“I just asked.” you say, shrugging.  

“How are you?” he asks.  

“Fine. Why?”  

“Because. Isn’t it something normal people ask when they meet?” he lets go the cigarette smoke almost in your face, he doesn’t seem to care about here the smoke is going. “Also, I overheard my mom and Maru talking about you being in the hospital yesterday. Did you drink too much again? We already have two alcoholics in town.”  

“It was nothing like that. I just...” met a wizard and drank a green potion he gave me? That seemed to support more his theory of what happened. “... had an insulation?”  

“Yeah... don’t push yourself too hard.” he says. “See you around, drunk farmer.”  

“Bye gingerbread.” you reply with a whisper.  

     He freezes at his spot as if he was just hit in the stomach and slowly turns to you over his shoulder.  

“What did you just say?” his voice i s  rough.  

“Nothing.” you say with a giggle.  

“No, no. Repeat that. I heard you say it.”  

“I didn’t say anything.” you  shrug . “I better be going, I still have to eat lunch, I don’t  wanna  pass out somewhere else, again.”  

“You are that fucking kid that used to hang around with Alex and call me gingerbread man, weren’t you?” he says. “I fucking hated you back then.”  

“That is why you tried to kill me?”  

    His infuriated expression was quickly overrun by a nervous one.  

“I didn’t try to kill you, it was an accident. And I saved you.” he says looking sideways a bit ashamed.  

“You don’t call me what you just did, I don’t tell her you used to be a red hair.” you say.  

“Her?... ABBY?! HELLO.”  

    Abigail shows up from behind Sebastian, holding his hips as if she was trying to scare him. It actually worked because he turned red right away.  

“Hi  Seb . Hey farmer! What are you doing?” she says.  

“Hello. I was going home.” you say.  

“The two of you are getting along well, right?” she says and you can feel something weird in her voice. “It is the third time I see you hanging out.”  

“We used to know each other.” you say and Sebastian sends you the most infuriated and threatening look you have ever seen.  

“I see...” she says, looking a little worried. “Did I interrupt something? Do you want me to leave?”  

“No, it is fine. I was just leaving.” you say and organize your food packages in your hands. “See you later.”  

“Wait a moment!” Sebastian says. “Abby, excuse-us just a second.”  

    Sebastian hugs you from your shoulders and takes you a little further from Abigail, that keeps staring at you both, curious.  

“You don’t ever tell anyone I was ginger. EVER.” he whispers by your ear. “Neither how you used to call me. Got it?”  

“Or what?” you say, bumping into his chest with your shoulder and smirking.  

    He steps away impressed with your strength. He stares at you as if he is about to do something that he doesn’t even know what is.  

“Relax. I was just kidding.” you say, and wave at Abigail. “See you around.”  

“Hey y/n wait!” Abigail calls. “We are  gonna  play videogames at Sam tonight, come too.”  

    Sebastian chokes at his own breath and you start feeling very anxious over the invite.  

“I have... something... I...” you stutter.  

“Come on!” she says, coming closer to both of you. “It is going to be fun, like that day in the saloon. Tell the farmer to come, Sebastian.”  

“Cooome...” he says in a VERY sarcastic way.  

“I... I will see about that.” you say very quickly. “I really need to go now.”  

“Sebastian will pick you up when he is coming! He will be there at seven!” she says in such a firm way you don’t even know what to reply.  

“Abby, what the...” Sebastian whispers at her.  

“Didn’t you say Sam had a crush on the farmer.” she whispers back. “Let’s help him!”  

“Yeah, but he likes Penny, now.”  

“Oh, come on, Penny... so boring.”  

    It couldn’t be possible that they thought you were not listening to them. She keeps insisting and even pokes him on his ribs until he agrees to her.  

“I will pick you up.” he says.  

“O...k...” you say in a very uncomfortable way.  

    You go away living the two of them behind and, as you look over your shoulder you can see Sebastian discreetly lowering his face... maybe for a kiss? Were these two dating after all?  

    You quickly think that this is none of your business and when Sebastian comes over your house you can find an excuse for that unwanted social interaction.  

    When you arrive your house, there is a man sitting on your porch. He wears an eyepatch and a long cape, just like some character from a videogame.  

    You stand still by the gate while staring at him, wondering why can’t you avoid social interactions AT ALL in that town. As he sees you, he stands up in a very noble posture and greets you:  

“Good afternoon, y/n. I am Marlon, the Adventure’s guild master.”  

“The what, now?” you mutter.  

    You remember Linus saying something about that man but... couldn’t he be just some crazy guy? If a man dressed up like that in Zuzu  city came towards you saying he was of some Guild, you would probably runaway. Maybe you should find a way to lock that gate on your farm...  

“Linus told me you had a battle with a Wilderness golem.” he says. “And that you were very brave.”  

    That was not what happened, but you didn’t really know what to tell him.  

    He slid  his cape to the side, letting you see an old and rusty sword that he, then, handed to you. It was very light, but you felt unease about being holding a white weapon that could easily hurt someone.  

“Here, it is for your protection at night.” he said. “Also, if you enter the mines, you will certainly need it.”  

    You just nod at him, as yo u  don’t know what to reply.  

“I can see in your eyes you have the adventurous spirit in you. I will tell you! If you can slay 10 slimes I will give you a pass to the guild.”  

“If I can what?” you think to yourself as you shake your head in agreement.  

“Farewell my fellow adventurer.” he says, and leaves as if he is a knight going for battle.  

    When you see he is far enough you immediately let go the sword, letting it carve on the ground in front of your porch. You didn’t want any of these!  

    You get inside your house, but the memory of the Wilderness golem attack comes to your mind as soon as you see Dog l yi ng on the carpet, he is waving his tail at the sight of you, and you notice that he has a scratch on his back. You hadn’t stopped to take a good look at him before. You feel bad for him having gotten hurt while defending you.  

    You get back outside and grab the sword.  

“Come here boy, let’s give you a shower and take care of this injury.”  

    You take a long time bathing Dog and then making a bandage on the hurt spot... and you forget to eat again... Dog is probably hungry too, it’s a nice thing you bought some dog food for him. As for you, maybe you should microwave a pizza.  

    You hear a knock at the door.  

“What is it now, someone bringing me some bows and arrows? A fucking witch?” you say to yourself while getting to the door.  

    As you open up, you face Sebastian staring at you with a sneering face. He looks really good, the hair is a little less messy and he is wearing a black shirt and a leather jacket instead of the usual hoodie you see him in.  

“What the hell were you talking about?” he asks between dragging and exhaling the smoke of his cigarette.  

“Damn it. I forgot.” you say. “Look, I can’t go, I haven’t eaten yet.”  

“I can wait, I am early. Besides, I am taking some snacks too.” he says.  

“Why don’t you just... say I was not feeling ok? Please.” you insist, trying to slowly close the door.  

“Abby won’t fall for that. And... Sam was pretty excited when I told him you were going, I don’t want to disappoint him.” he replies pushing the door open and getting inside.  

    He stops at the sight of your cottage. Just a little room with a bed, a table and a chair. The smallest fridge he had ever seen (for sure you had seen too) an old tv , a microwave and a small bathroom. That was all.  

“You should get my mom to upgrade this house sometime.” he says without any regard to  whether  that would sound rude or not.  

“Do I look like I have that kind of money?” you reply with a little frown.  

    He sits on the only chair available and puts the package he is carrying on the table, beside a... helmet.  

“Aw man...You did not came by bike, did you?.” you say anxiously. “I am not riding with you, you can tell them anything, I am not going.”  

“Hey what is your deal with motorcycles?” he says. “I will ride safely, don’t worry.”  

    You cross your arms and take a deep breath.  

“It is... personal.” you say.  

    He stares at you seemingly worried but then he just looks to the other side and nods.  

“Ok then. We walk and then I come pick up my bike.” he says.  

    You sigh as you see that he is probably not going away without you.  

“Wait there, I will dress up.” you say with your head down.  

    You get to the bathroom and take a quick shower, then dress up with one of the only nice set of clothes you have left, you tide up your hair (and maybe put on some make up if you like it). You don’t have any perfume left, so you can only hope that the shower was enough to get off the smell of dirt from the farm.  

    When you get out of the bathroom you see Sebastian glance at you, quite surprised, but he quickly stands up and gets the package with snacks from the table. You realize this is probably the first time anyone sees you and you are not tired from a long trip or all covered in farm dirt.  

    As the two of you are leaving, you look at the sword behind your headboard and wonder if you shouldn’t take it with you, just in case... but he would probably think you are even weirder for doing so. You remember Linus saying the town’s folk are protected by some spell, so you hope being with Sebastian helps those monsters from attacking you... but maybe...  

“Hey, what is taking so long?” he says.  

“How weird would you think I am if I brought a sword along?” you ask.  

    Sebastian stares at you a little surprised.  

“What, have you met any slimes around the forest? I guess spring is also their breeding season.” he says. “But you don’t have to ask me anything about it. You do as you please, I don’t judge you.”  

    He scratches his neck a little blushed.  

“Abby sometimes brought a sword to your farm when we came here.”  

    You get impressed that Sebastian talks about slimes, but you then remember what Linus said about some magic in the valley that made people think those magic things were normal. You feel very relieved to be able to bring the sword with you.  

    It is kind of a long walk and Sebastian smokes two entire cigarettes along the way. You walk in silence until you arrive the forest entrance of the city, where you can see a blue house with a navy sign above the door, not far away.  

    You then see that a man is staggering from the road to your direction, holding a can of beer. He is grunting and does not seem to see either you or Sebastian coming in the opposite direction. Sebastian pulls you aside so you get out of the man’s way.  

“What?” he says, staring at you. “What did you say?”  

“Nobody said anything, Shane.” Sebastian replies. “We are just going to Sam’s house.”  

“They keep staring at me, I don’t know what these people keep looking. Why they don’t leave me alone...” he mutters while passing beside you.  

    As he says this you notice that you WERE in fact staring him and you feel a little bad about it. Maybe that is why the man engaged in such a rude talk. You saw a lot of people like him in the streets of Zuzu  city.  

“Don’t worry about him.” Sebastian says, and signs for you to keep walking.  

    Something about that man pulls your attention and you keep looking at him until he disappears in the forest.  

“Is he ok?” you ask. “Is it ok to let him go like that. Isn’t that forest dangerous?” you ask.  

“He gets like this every night... never died.” Sebastian says shrugging. “He works with Sam.”  

    You think that is very bad of him to say something like that, but you think again, if you were willing to do anything to help anyway. You continue to walk to Sam’s house.  

“Why are they taking so long?” you hear a worried whisper.  

    Abigail and Sam are waiting for you outside his house. She looks absolutely stunning with a nice black dress and a denim jacket. Sam is wearing some stay-home shorts and a T-shirt and when he sees you and Sebastian arrive,  he gets quite embarrassed.  

“Man, what do you think I invited you to do?! It is just videogames! Why are you guys all dressed up?” he complains. “Now I feel like I have to put on some pants.”  

“You look fine.” Sebastian says and pushes the snacks packages against his chest. “Go get us some food, y/n haven’t eaten yet.”  

     None of them seem to care about the sword you are caring on your waist.  

    You get inside and it is quite a charming home, it seems to have been tied up very carefully and gently. A ginger lady (that was quite a ginger town) was seated on the couch watching TV while that boy who kicked a ball on your had some days before was playing with toys on the floor.  

“Abby!!  Seb ! Ah... and y/n!” Vincent say very happily.  

    He runs towards Abigail and hugs her legs, then Sebastian fist bumps him. He stops in front of you and waves, uncertain of what to do, but showing a small smile.  

“Good night Mrs. Jodi.” both Sebastian and Abigail say.  

“Good night.” you follow, in a clumsy way.  

“Oh, hi kids!! Welcome!” she replies with a smile. “Hello y/n, nice to finally meet you. I am happy that you are already friends with my son.”  

    You nod and try to smile, once again, uncertain of what to do, but Sebastian just pushes you forward to the direction of Sam’s room.  

“You are a social disaster.” he whispers at you.  

“Don’t tell me!” you reply.  

“You are not much better  wi th people yourself.” Abigail says. “ I don’t think you get to say anything about the farmer.”  

“ Yeah, but I chose to be this  way” he replies.  

    Sam suddenly grabs you by the shoulders and excitedly yells that combination of your names he made up  during the snooker game.  

“Let’s team up y/n!!”  

“Aw man, I  wanna   team up with the farmer! Sebastian doesn’t know how to  do teamwork.” Abigail complains.  

“Why do you think I chose y/n??” Sam replies, showing her his  tongue  in a  very childish way.  

    A loud noise comes from your stomach, and you go red with shame while hiding your face between your hands.  Abjgail  let go a giggle  while Sam slowly steps back , heading outside his room, probably to the kitchen to grab you something to eat.  

    He comes back full handed with bowls of snacks, sauce and some soda bottles, but for you he gives a plate of what seems to be a complete dinner. This makes you even more  embarrassed.  

“Don’t worry, my mom always makes too much food.”  He says with a smile.  

    While you are eating, and it is absolutely delicious, both you and Abigail watch while Sam and Sebastian play a combat game . Sebastian wins two of the three rounds but not as easily as he won in snooker a couple of days before.  Abigail, then, takes Sam's control. She wins the first round  but Sebastian is way too good in the game and beats her the same way he did to Sam.  

“Your turn now, farmer.” Abigail says, handing you the control.  

“I wouldn’t even bother…” Sebastian brags , putting the control on his lap and cracking his fingers.  

    You wipe your mouth with a napkin and take the control, then choose one of the tiniest characters in the game.  

“Are you kidding? Chose another character, this one sucks.” Sebastian says.  

“But it is so cute.” You reply. “I  wanna  play with it.”  

“Suit yourself. This is  gonna  be quick.” He replies.  

    You smirk while pulling the control closer to your body. The screen announces the beginning of the match and you quickly start pressing a combination of buttons that is so well memorized you don’t even need to think about what you are doing. Your character hops around the screen punching and kicking Sebastian's and it is so fast that his character can’t hit it with their strikes. Just a few minutes later the screen announces your flawless victory.  

    Sebastian drops the control on his lap, staring at the screen in disbelief, he then turns to you in a mix of anger and awe. You can’t contain  a victorious smile.  

“Wow! I didn’t even know this character could do  these kinds of maneuvers!” Sam exclaims while taping you in the back. “This was so awesome!!”  

“Wow! You play very well, farmer!” Abigail congratulates.  “You beat  Seb  to the ground.”  

“Round two!” Sebastian  angrily  says, picking up the control while the screen announces the second round.  

     You rest the control on your lap and start lightly pressing those same buttons making your character hop around the screen in that same way, with the same result. Sebastian's character drops in slow motion in another “flawless victory"  announcement .  

     He turns to you in what seems an expression of complete defeat and makes a gesture of questioning.  

“I used to play a lot of videogames on my free time.” you explain. “Also, I know a lot of special moves from reading forums.”  

“Yeah, I do that too.” Sebastian says, upset, tossing his control to Sam.  

     You kind of pity him for getting so bitter over his loss, but it is pretty satisfying  winning over him after that pool play. You are a bit of a competitive person and he seems to be too. You spend the rest of the night defeating the three of them using the most underrated characters of the game. Each match Sebastian seems more determined to win, but even when he gets close to it, you find a way to win using a special power he didn’t know about or a combo you made up yourself.  

“You are REALLY good at it!” Abigail says excitedly. “You have to teach me this combo.”  

“You just press triangle and x while moving forward.” you say, getting close to her and showing the way you move the buttons. “Using the analogic is better than the arrows, see? It is faster.”  

    Abigail tries to replicate your movements, frowning her browns and biting her tongue in a very adorable and concentrated face. You blush at the sight of it and barely notice that she is doing everything wrong.  

“No, wait, you have to move your finger to this side, unless you want to invert the control’s settings.” you say.  

“Can you do that?! It seems much easier to turn this way.” she replies. “Maybe that is why I can’t beat my game at home! Hey, can you come over and teach me how to do this?”  

    Sebastian stares at you with the most outraged face while Sam glances from the two of you to him in a worried expression.  

“I can write you a tutorial.” you reply.  

“ Nooo ... I hate messing with these kinds of things, I might even burn the console. Please come and help me, I live behind my father’s store.” she says in a very slick way. “ Pleaase ...”  

    You can almost feel Sebastian’s eyes burn the back of your neck, but Abigail’s stare is just as intimidating. You are afraid that if you give her any excuse she will read into your soul and then find a way to curse you into accepting.  

“Ok...” you reply completely uncomfortable.  

    She smiles at you in a victory gesture. Sebastian on the other hand, grunts and stands up turning off the videogame.  

“We should be going now.” he says.  

“What? It is still so early!” Sam complains. “I didn’t even brought the sweet snacks.”  

“I am pretty sure y/n has to wake up early to attend the farm’s business.” he replies. “Also, I have a code to finish.”  

“Aw man, I was going to ask y/n to teach me how to unlock the mysterious character.” he grunts and puts the controls beside the console.  

“Haven’t I already told you how to do it?” Sebastian is almost growling at him.  

“Yeah, but I never get to do it when you are not here. You don’t explain things very well.” Sam mutters.  

    You can see Sebastian discretely slapping him in the back of his head while Abigail is still busy moving her fingers as if rehearsing the new move  she has learned from you.  

    Sam takes you outside and waves goodbye  at you as you walk towards Abigail’s house to escort her there before you go back to the farm. It is not a long walk until you get to Pierre’s.  

“You should hang out with us more often.” she says and taking you completely out of guard, she kisses you on the cheek.  

    You freeze completely, your face becoming a bright tone of red as you hear Sebastian gasp in outrage. Abigail doesn’t even bother saying goodbye to him, she just gets inside and you see her long purple hair waving through the glass door.  

    Both you and Sebastian stay put for a while.  

“We should be going right?” you say.  

“Yeah...” he replies with what, for you, seems to be a roar of threat.  

    You walk in silence until you get to the entrance of the forest. Sebastian seems so stressed that he puts out two cigarettes in that short walk.  

“Listen, I don’t want to stay in your way.” you apprehensively say.  

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” he replies, sharply.  

“Abigail.”  

“What about her?” he asks and his voice barely comes out.  

“Aren’t you, like, her boyfriend or something?” you ask.  

    Sebastian chokes in his cigarette smoke and spends quite some time coughing, but it seems to be more about making you stop talking. As you keep staring at him, he stops and looks back at you, his eyebrows frowned and cheeks a little blushed.  

“It is complicated.” he says.  

“Ok, none of my business.” you say, putting your hands up beside your shoulders.  

“Thanks.” he says.  

“But you do seem to like each other.” you can’t help saying.  

“I said THANK YOU.” he yells and you giggle.  

    You keep walking through the forest, passing a little cabin near the river and then, Marnie’s ranch until you reach the bottom entrance of the farm. When the two of you are entering, you hear a terrible screech and Sebastian stops to look around.  

“What the hell was that?” he asks.  

“A bat, maybe?” you say, your hand is already on the handle of your sword.  

    You hear it again and out from between the trees a giant skull head comes dashing at both of you, cracking its teeth as if it is about to bite you.  

     You push Sebastian aside and swing the sword at it, but it ducks and attacks you with a bump in your chest, sending you flying to the ground near him.  

“What the fuck!? What the fuck?!” he yells while standing up and trying to help you stand up too.  

     The skull takes a turn and aims at Sebastian, but you push him aside again and this time, you get to hit it with your sword knocking it back a few yards. It makes a horrible sound and quickly comes back in your direction. You wave your sword, but  miss, and it bites your arm.  

     You hear Sebastian scream your name in worry, and it hurts like hell, but you find a way to set yourself free and knock the skull with the sword again.  It let go a cry of  anger and try to advance, but it is suddenly knock down by a shadow.  

    It is D og! He came to save you once again .  

    Dog bites it and presses it against the ground while it screams and tries to escape. With a big effort from your hurt arm, you stab the skull as hard as you can, and it shatters into pieces that start disappearing.  

    You let go the sword and fall on your knees, puffing and moaning in pain. Dog comes closer and licks your face, his tail slightly wagging.  

    You feel a touch on your shoulder and turn around quickly in a defensive pose, but it is just Sebastian checking on you. He is covered in dirt and his eyes are  wide open with the scare.  

“It's me, it's me.” He says, kneeling by your side and trying to make you let go of your hurt arm so he can see it. “ This is ugly, I should take you to the hospital.”  

“And say what, that you bit me?” you reply trying to make him get away from the wound, that clearly looked like a human bite.  

“Do you have any other ideas?” he asks.  

“Take me to the Wizard!” you yell in pain.  

“The WHAT now?” Sebastian says.  

“You know, the guy that lives in that weird tower in the forest. He will help me... I guess... damn it, it hurts so much!”  

    By now you have started crying and Dog starts barking at Sebastian, as if he is telling for him to hurry. He stands up and runs to get his motorcycle.  

    Besides you starting to say that you are not going to hop on that, Sebastian lifts you with a strength he does not seem to have and forces you to sit in the backseat.  

“No!!” you yell and tears are coming down.  

“Just hold on ok. I promise you we’ll be ok.”  

    You shake your head negatively, but Sebastian takes your unwounded arm and makes you hold onto his hip. He stops for a moment, holding your hand and staring at it, as if he has just zoned out in some thought. His hand is cold, probably because he is nervous and scared, but you feel suddenly comforted by it. You slowly stop crying with small sobs.  

“Can you hug me with the other arm?” he asks.  

    You nod and pass the other arm around his hip. He starts the motorcycle engine, and you let go a shout of fear, hugging Sebastian tight and pressing your face against his back. He starts riding fast towards the west of the forest.  

“Are you ok?” he asks midway.  

    You can only bring yourself to nod.  

“You are holding a bit tight...”  

“I am sorry.” you sob, but can’t loosen the hug.  

“It’s ok...”  

    When you arrive, as soon as Sebastian stops the bike, you hop out and fall on you knees of it giving him a big scare. He hops after you, and even lets the motorcycle drop on the forest floor. He helps you stand up and walk to the tower.  

    You knock at the door.  

“Who can it be at this time... Oh  Yoba !” the Wizard attends and gasps in surprise to see you bleeding. By that time your sleeve is all red. “Come on in! Come on in!”  

     The Wizard gives you some weird red medicine to drink and Sebastian stares at it very uncertain if he should let you do it or not, but you quickly grab it and gulp it down. The pain starts to fade away while Rasmodius  cleans up the wound and infuses it with herbs.  

“So, what happened?” the wizard asks when you finally seem better.  

“I ask you!” you yell at him. “I don’t remember signing up to fight MONSTERS. A fucking flying skull BIT ME!”  

“Hmm... it seems like your ability to connect with the valley comes with the hazard of attracting the cursed ones.”  Rasmodius  says. “Not even my strong spell can protect you as it does to the townsfolk. It impresses me that you were attacked along with one.”  

    Sebastian is staring at Rasmodius  seeming VERY confused. That is probably the same face you made when you first met him.  

“I will be going back to  Zuzu ! That is it!” you say.  

“I am afraid it is not possible anymore.”  Rasmodius  replies, scratching his purple beard.  

“Excuse me?!”  

“You see, once you are now connected to the valley, you will find very difficult to leave.” he says. “You may try to take the bus, or any other way of transportation, but you will always find yourself back here.”  

“I don’t believe it! You are saying this to keep me here with those monsters and the...  Junimos ! They are telling you to do this!”  

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sebastian asks.  

“Those little apple things that live in the old community center! They are behind this.”  

    Sebastian stares at you as if you were the craziest person in the world.  

“Show him!” you shout, turning to the wizard.  

“Only those connected to the Elementals can...” he starts lecturing.  

“I DON’T  FUCKING CARE, FUCKING SHOW HIM!!!” you yell while beating your feet on the ground.  

    Both the Wizard and Sebastian jump in place scared by your sudden lash out. He takes off his hat and scratches his head.  

“What is with this new generation and curses?” he sighs. “So be it...”  

    Rasmodius  starts saying some incomprehensible words and each and every one of the rocks of the tower start shaking. Sebastian holds tight to the chair you are sitting and you start regretting saying anything at first place. A big flash of light blinds you for a second, and in the middle of the room a summoning circle appears. In the middle of the circle, the tiniest apple appears.  

    It is a little green Junimo . It waves at you and Sebastian and starts making those funny noises it does. You turn to Sebastian and gesture at it.  

“I have been smoking too much pod.” he says while rubbing his head.  

    You stand up and force him to sit down on the chair you were sitting, then hush to pick the Junimo  on your hand. You squish it while showing it to him, and then, you start, very dramatically, telling him EVERYTHING that has been happening to you since your arrival: the old memories, the plants growing too fast, the community center, the monsters attack.  

    He listens to everything staring at you as if some engine has just broken inside his head. When you finally finish, he keeps staring in silence.  

“I think it was too much for this young man.”  Rasmodius  says, analyzing Sebastian’s face from up close. “Maybe I should wipe his memory.”  

“No! No messing around with my head anymore, please!” he says, standing up quickly. “I knew you were trouble! I should have stayed home washing the dishes and let  Maru  hang out with you.”  

“Excuse me! I am clearly the victim here. Also, this bite here? I got it protecting you!” you say while shaking your previously wounded arm.  

“Apparently you were the one who put me in danger in first place.”  

    The two of you keep staring at each other in infuriating rage. Rasmodius  makes a wonderous pose and then smacks his fist on his  hand as  if he had just made a discovery.  

“I see... your destinies are connected. You are the ones for each other.” he says.  

“THE WHAT?” you both yell.  

“He has a girlfriend!” you say pointing at Sebastian outraged.  

“Abigail is NOT my girlfriend.” he replies.  

“Interesting, interesting.” the Wizard mumbles. “You have found yourselves so soon in your journey, such a connection is rare.”  

“Excuse me Mr. But farmer here isn’t my type.”  

“Wow! What?! Am I too ugly for you?” you don’t even know why you are still bickering over it, but you don’t feel like letting him say something like that about you.  

“Did I say that? You said that. I didn’t say that.” Sebastian talks back.  

“I see, I see...”  Rasmodius  isn’t even paying attention to you. “Quite a journey you have ahead of you. You shall, then, rest for tonight.”  

“ Wha ...”  

    Before the both of you can finish the sentence, the Wizard gestures with his open hands and a big flash of light involves you...  

…when you realize, you are waking up on your bed. There is no bite in your arm anymore. You can hear the rooster sing in the distance.  

Next part here: https://delightfulstarlightparadise.tumblr.com/post/629832532423213056/imagine-sebastian-reader-part-7

[princessshikky]

Basically an m!handers soulmate AU that I finally finished while sitting at home because quarantine.

Anders' words are "Maker's grace, I must be the luckiest man alive", and at first he was slightly bitter about it. How can this guy consider himself lucky, torn apart from his family and locked in a prison? And more importantly, why couldn't he have something Karl said to him instead?

In solitary, the words become his anchor. No оne knows for sure where the Words come from or what they mean, but оne thing's certain: if you have someone's Words оn your wrist, you'll meet this person. Your meeting might be short and tragic, but it's bound to happen. Screw the sappy tales of "the Maker meant these people for each other", it's not true (he desperately wants to hope, but he's too bitter and tired), but he'll leave the solitary alive and meet this guy, that he knows without a doubt. 

And sure, he leaves, and Amell (ginger hair, long nose, same old tattoo оn her face) recruits him, and for a while everything is good. Emily wouldn't flirt or sleep with him anymore (sometimes he doubts she even remembers they actually slept together оnce in the Tower), but he's fine with that. Except when Emily leaves, everything goes to hell, and soon he has to run, and merge with Justice. That didn't go so well. 

They go to Kirkwall, because no Wardens, and, more importantly, Karl, and the city is a hellhole, but at least the refugees are so desperate they are willing to protect him from the templars. Anders is alerted regardless: any minute, something could happen. Karl could get caught, the templars could barge into his clinic, Justice could come outside and loose control and slaughter everyone (he tries not to concentrate оn that last possibility, it makes both of them uncomfortable). Sure enough, when a group of armed strangers come through the door, he is ready to defend himself and his patients. Justice sends him a burst of energy, and Anders tentatively lets him... not take over their body, no, but come to the surface of their conscience. 

"I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation! Why do you threaten it?" — Justice demands in Anders' voice. Black-haired guy with a longsword suddenly groans, and another оne gasps. 

"Maker's grace, I must be the luckiest man alive". 

"Oh, no", — the sword-guy mutters, and Anders is inclined to agree with him. Oh, no. He doesn't need that now. He has Justice, and the compulsive need to help people, and the manifesto, and Karl, and he wouldn't wish to thrust this burden upon anyone. 

Hawke doesn't exactly give him the chance to back off. He's kind, and understanding, and a fellow mage (an apostate, no less!), and he's immediately supportive, and looks at Anders with reverence, and he's so gorgeous it's unfair.

 In short, Hawke is perfect. 

He helps with the disastrous attempt to get Karl out. He helps with the mage underground. He tries to help the mages escape the Circle. He reads the manifesto and offers new arguments. He is even supportive about the situation with Justice. He looks at Anders like he hung the moons in the sky. How is a man supposed to stay away from that, even if staying away would be better for Hawke in the long run? 

When Anders says "I love you", it breaks his heart a little, knowing that they live оn borrowed time. That most mages are not allowed the luxury of loving someone, and Anders has to change that, even at the expense of his own happiness, of Hawke's happiness. He doesn't expect Hawke to understand: Hawke is just оne man, he never had to live in a Circle, he doesn't have a spirit in his head. 

He still asks Hawke for help, knowing he'll pay for the betrayal with his life. 

Only he doesn't. 

Later, after the templars back off, after Orsino helps the apprentices escape, after Meredith turns into a chunk of red lyrium, after Bodahn shoves the hastily-gathered supplies into Hawke's hands, after they run from Kirkwall, after Merrill and Aveline leave them, after they make a camp and Carver and Varric pretend to be busy with the fire, they have time to talk. Hawke sighs and frowns and shakes his head. 

"I can't believe you did this". 

"The mages need to be free", — Anders says, or maybe it is Justice, taking over like he does sometimes when Anders is exhausted. — "What I did was unforgivable, but it was the оnly way to achieve this". 

"Yes, blowing the fucking Chantry building sounds like a reasonable strategy to prove that mages are harmless", — Varric snarls. 

"Who cares about the damn Chantry?" — Hawke says, louder than necessary. — "I definitely don't plan to shed any tears over them". — Carver snorts quietly at that, and Hawke smiles at his brother before turning back to Anders. — "What I meant was... Well, you should have told me. I... you should have trusted me with that". 

"I didn't want to endanger you any more than necessary". 

"Endanger... Anders, do you have any idea how scared I was? I lost my home, I lost my family, and I thought I was going to lose you too! You acted like you were preparing for a certain death! Every day I woke up and I looked at you and thought "Is it going to be today?". Do you know how I felt when I saw that damn Chantry going in flames? I was relieved! Because at least everything has reached a conclusion and I didn't have to wait any longer, I could just act! Maker damn it, right now I can finally breathe again now that I know my lover isn't going to go and kill himself while I'm not looking!" 

Anders gulps. Carver shakes his head but doesn't say anything. Varric looks at Hawke disapprovingly. For a moment everyone is quiet, until Hawke weakly smirks. 

"And honestly, if you'd asked me for help, I would've at least made sure Sebastian was at that Chantry along with Elthina. I can't believe you missed such a great opportunity to get rid of that asshole". 

Carver chuckles unexpectedly. 

"Damn, brother. I had no idea I missed your stupid jokes". 

Anders has to agree. He knew full well Hawke mostly used his stupid jokes to hide behind them — something Anders himself has done often — and yet... Hawke stopped joking some time before Leandra's death and it felt like he gave up trying. 

Still smiling, Hawke moves closer to Anders and kisses him lightly. 

"Look. There is nothing you can do that would make me leave you. And I mean it — nothing. So please, just trust me next time. We're in this together", — and it feels undeserved, unbelievable, so Anders (or Justice, ever protective) just has to ask. 

"Still feel like the luckiest man alive?" 

Hawke smiles, takes his hand and kisses the inner side of his wrist, where his words are curling оn Anders' skin. 

"Always".

It takes some time for Garrett to decipher the words оn his wrist, written in mostly-unintelligible scrawl, like someone was simultaneously hasty and angry. 

"I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation! Why do you threaten it?". 

All right, Garrett could think of worse ways to start a conversation. At least these Words are unique. He'll know his Person instantly. 

Carver teases him mercilessly. "I can't believe this all fit оn your hand" and "Well, it doesn't seem like your person will appreciate your dumb jokes", and even "Gah! Marauder! Why would you ever threaten a sanctum of salvation!". But after Carver finds Garrett making out with their neighbours' son behind the barn, and Garrett makes him promise not to tell anyone, not father, not even Bethany, Carver becomes a little nicer. Maybe it's because they share a secret now, Garrett reasons, something just for the two of them. 

"Do you think it's a guy? Your Person?" — Carver asks оne day, when everyone else is already asleep, and Garrett doesn't feel like deflecting with a joke. 

"I hope so. I mean, it might be a girl, they say that sometimes your Person is just a friend to you, but still... I'd prefer a guy". 

"Do you not like girls at all?" — Carver asks disbelievingly (he is a teenager, after all). 

"I don't hate them, I guess, but they're just... not interesting", — Garrett says. — "Guys are..." 

"Hot?" 

"I guess you could say that". 

"Well, good. At least you won't steal any girls from me", — Carver says confidently, and Garrett just smirks. "You can keep them as long as you send any cute guys in my direction".

The first time Garrett hears about the Warden healer, he thinks it's too good to be true. 

A free mage who openly uses his magic to help other people? Come оn. In order to be free, mages have to hide their magic, keep their heads low and never be too close to other people. Holding a free clinic for the refugees? No оne's this selfless. 

Except for this Anders Warden, apparently. Who lives in Darktown, and who is the most competent healer Garrett's ever met. And who is understandably wired to see four armed strangers оn his doorstep. 

Anders grabs his staff and turns to them in оne swift motion. 

"I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation! Why do you threaten it?" 

Carver groans, but Garrett just doesn't feel like paying attention to his little brother right now, as much as he loves Carver. 

"Maker's grace, I must be the luckiest man alive", — Garrett gasps and means every word. His Person is a guy (a good-looking guy, to boot), a fellow apostate, someone brave and selfless enough to openly use his magic to help people... what's not to like? 

The more Garrett finds out about Anders, the more he realizes just how damn lucky he is. His first impression was right: Anders is too good to be true. Yes, he lashes out at Merrill sometimes, but other than that? Perfection. Kind and compassionate and sensitive and working to free the mages, always willing to help Garrett solve his troubles. The оnly problem? While Anders does seem interested in Garrett sometimes, he never takes any action. He calls Garrett a friend, he tries to keep Garrett away, he never takes the first step, and Garrett is patient, but damn it, it takes three years before Anders runs out of excuses and lets both of them be happy. 

And then he starts acting strange. He becomes more distant, his love declarations become more desperate, and it seems like he is waiting for something. Garrett's already lost his sister and mother, and his brother is somewhere оn Warden missions, and he _cannot _lose someone else. He feels like he cannot breathe properly, like he is sick with fear, like Kirkwall chokes the air out of his lungs. He cannot sleep at night if Anders isn't home, tossing and turning and waking up from nightmares gasping for air. 

One day, when Anders is in his clinic, Garrett comes to the alienage. Merrill is happy to see him — anything to distract her from the thoughts of her clanmates dying under their blades and spells — and talking to her is easier than Garrett imagined. 

"I want you to teach me blood magic". 

Anders would be furious if he knew, but ultimately he would understand. He said he would drown Kirkwall in blood to keep Garrett safe — and Garrett would absolutely do the same for Anders. 

When Merrill carefully cuts her wrist and gives the knife to Garrett, he thinks he sees the eluvian glimmering in the corner. 

And then it's over. The Chantry explodes, Elthina is dead (good riddance, Hawke thinks when Sebastian starts wailing), Anders is alive. 

Everything goes straight to hell. Sebastian leaves, which is expected, and Fenris joins the templars, which is a huge blow. Yes, Garrett knew about his views, but he thought Fenris had his back. He always helped Fenris out, didn't he? Even Cullen, of all people, decided to help Hawke at the end. Cullen, the asshole who said Tranquility is a mercy. And Zevran is helping them fight for some reason? Apparently Hawke is shitty at the whole "reading people's intentions" thing. 

At the end of the day, people Hawke cares about are alive. Merrill, Aveline and Carver are fine. Anders is alive. Varric is here, giving Anders judgmental looks but mercifully not saying anything. They get to leave Kirkwall unharmed, albeit in a hurry. Aveline and Varric keep looking at Hawke like they expect him to do something, but Hawke is honestly too tired to think about it. What do they want? He has no clue. Apparently he barely knows people who he regularly spoke with. Eventually Aveline takes him aside to check the road ahead and to talk privately. 

"Are you going to say anything to him? About him?" — she asks. For a moment Hawke considers playing dumb, pretending he doesn't know what she means, but ultimately deems it useless. 

"What do you want me to say? Hey, love, good job killing Elthina, are you tired, do you want me to carry your backpack for you?" 

"I cannot believe you actually approve of what he's done", — Aveline spits out. 

"Well, I do", — Hawke says simply. — "And even if I didn't... Maker help me, I would protect him anyway". 

"He's murdered innocent people!" 

"He's my family, Aveline! And I cannot lose him, not after everything!" 

Aveline has a pitying expression оn her face. And if anyone else tried to have this conversation with him now, Hawke would probably punch this person, but Aveline is as much of a family to him as Carver and Anders. And isn't it an uncomfortable realisation? That he is no better than people he so callously judged? That if he'd found Anders, Merrill, Carver or Aveline gleefully murdering half of Kirkwall in a blood magic ritual, he would still defend them until his dying breath? Does this make him an awful person? It probably does, but this night has been full of uncomfortable truths he has had to realise about himself and others. 

Thankfully, Aveline doesn't press the matter further. 

They leave оne by оne. Merril says she needs to protect the alienage elves (and she couldn't just leave her mirror, which is fair). Aveline goes back to lead the guard again. Carver has some Warden mission. Varric promises to give the Chantry a false trail to follow, but his eyes are hard when he says that. Probably still angry about the explosion, Hawke thinks and hurts оn Anders' behalf. 

Anders is still quiet. Hawke is still afraid to leave him alone for long periods of times, even if Justice has come out to promise he wouldn't let Anders do anything stupid. 

They are sitting оn a log, staring into the campfire. There are glimpses of blue in Anders' eyes. Hawke feels sudden urge to hug his lover and sees no reason not to follow through. 

Anders shivers in Hawke's arms. 

"Love, what?" 

"Nothing", — Anders shakes his head, — "just... Sometimes it's still hard to believe you're with me". 

"You won't get rid of me so easily". 

"I don't deserve you". 

Anders' self-deprecation is unbelievable sometimes. It just feels wrong, that a person as amazing as Anders doesn't realise his worth. One of the many reasons to hate the Circles, Hawke thinks bitterly. 

"Love, I'm the оne who doesn't deserve you. You're the bravest, most selfless person I've ever met. You healed the poor and downtrodden when everyone abandoned them, you stood up for the mages when no оne else did, you went against Meredith..." 

"And betrayed your trust in the process". 

"Well," — Hawke starts carefully, because it's not untrue, but he's not so bitter about that anymore, — "you're here now. The оnly оne who stayed with me". 

Anders looks at him with eyes full of hope. 

"I won't repeat my mistake again, I promise. You're stuck with me now. I'm not going anywhere". 

"Good", — Hawke says, relieved, because Anders speaks like he means it. — "I wouldn't have it any other way".

[ekkorn]

hi there, just saw in the tags that you didn‘t like endgame. would you like to expand on that? i am curious to know other people‘s perspective. personally, i liked it. it has flaws, yes, but to me it was enjoyable. if you don‘t feel like answering, that is fine :) have a great day!

oh wow. you really wanna know? okay, but on your own head be it. :o

i’m just joking, i’ll go easy, or at least give you the digest (a vicious lie) version. if you want to see the full extent of my derision and vitriol, you can go to @lowkeysebastianstan, which is the blog where i’ve tried to limit this too. but to give you the not at all short and not so sweet of it, here goes. (endgame spoilers obviously).

the first thing that really set me off was the ending, more precisely, what steve did. it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and hit me closer to home than most of my followers here since bucky and steve are my fave characters, and the only ship i really have. now, i never thought stucky would become canon, not even a little, i didn’t even hope for it. sure, the representation would’ve been awesome, but there’s no way marvel could’ve done it justice, so it was just as well it was never gonna happen. what i hadn’t prepared for was to what extreme extent they were terrified of the ship and the effect it would have if they were to let it be even a hint that could be interpreted as some emotional connection between them, for 3 films they’re built bucky up as the most important character in steve’s life, he’s risked his own life to save him, he basically eradicated hydra during wwii fueled by grief for him, he was prepared to die for him in tws, he fought his friends and gave up everything for him in cacw, and then he just? leaves? to be with a woman who died of old age and natural causes after a long fulfilling life with another man and family of her own. who specifically told him to fucking move on in tws? yeah, sure. and do not get me wrong, i adore sam wilson, after bucky, and the real steve rogers, he is by far my fave in the cap verse (saving a few spots for my bp and cm peeps in the mcu, but we’ll get to them), and he is the superior choice to pick up the mantle, no doubt about it. (okay, a little doubt, they teased sebastian with that shield for 8 years, they based bucky on the brubaker storyline where he becomes cap, and so i do feel a little torn bc no matter how happy he must be for his friend, and him and mackie are good friends, he must be a little disappointed? but who knows, maybe they’ll do something with that in the series, which would be stupid af bc that would negate the positive leap in representation, and mackie deserves it too, so who the fuck knows, i’ll probably not be around to keep track anyways, and can you tell im rambling), but for steve’s last words to be to sam? while bucky stands and watch in the background? like??? i could go on in (more excruciating) detail, but that was why i linked the blog, there might be a point or two about this on there.

but that was just the start. all through the movie i felt disconnected and uneasy, they made some really weird choices, but i don’t think it was until nat took the plunge that i knew i had an absolute dud on my hands. 

the mcu has done a lot of things right, but their treatment of women is NOT one of them. and oh boy did they go out with a bang. first is the obvious implication, he got to live bc he had “more to live for”, and she didn’t have a family, and ye gods we know she can’t have kids, so why should she live? 

(see, if the bw movie wasn’t in the books, i’d completely get it, if it was to give scarjo her life back, and she wanted nat to be good and dead, sure. actually, when i first watched it, that’s what i thought tbh, that the bw movie was cancelled, so. but it’s not, so she will return. and since that the case it’s just fucked up that they yeeted her off the roster. and sure, some of the bw movie was always gonna be set in the past, but tbh? i don’t see much point in prequels for dead characters, you know that whatever happens won’t affect the outcome for the character at all, and i usually find them completely void of meaning. that might just be me though). and of course the fact that she died the same way gamora went didn’t help. (gamora’s death was maybe the single worst thing in aiw, she was fridged, not for the advancement of one man, but for two (thanos and quill) and it.just.shouldn’t.have.worked.thanos.cannot.love! again, mcu and women? not a good match.) 

then of course, it comes back to steve and how much he doesn’t give a crap about the people close to him in the present, we never see him care or grieve for anyone but peggy, and he could barely spare two tears for nat before it was all business again. and the rest of the team? i think clint cared a little, and banner threw a chair, but that was it. no memorial, not burial, no nothing, it was like she never existed, and she died saving the world just as much as tony, he couldn’t have done jack shit without the soul stone. 

and speaking of women, shuri and okoye? before the trailer dropped i was sure shuri was in this, that we’d get to see her lead in her brother’s stead. i actually did a short lament on this already, here.

carol was terribly underused, after all the oompf about her being there she was barely a blip. but the haircut was fantastic, and the best part of the movie was when she returned at the end.

then there’s nebula and gamora (again). at first i was actually quite pleased that they sort of found a loophole to bring gamora back, but then i thought about it (yes, sometimes i get seduced by the flashy colours too) and yeah. sure. a gamora is there, but she’s void of all the things that makes her interesting and all her development is just gone, everything “our” gamora achieved and experienced is gone, three films worth of arc is worthless. so what then is the point of getting “her” back? i don’t care about this person, i don’t know her. are we gonna see quill just harass her the next film, bc you know, she’s been with him, so why shouldn’t he expect her to just do that now? tbh i wouldn’t be surprised, but now that gunn is back maybe he can save it? not that i’ll be around to keep track though.

then nebula. nvm that time paradox, that’s a whole other fuckfest i’ll get back to, but we had to get to see her get killed too, didn’t we. by her sister, the only person in the world she loves. fucking fantastic, i cannot control my enthusiasm. 

and no, cool as it was, the a-force surrounding parker is not enough to bring this home. it was a cool sight though. (see? i can see the good.)

then of course it’s peggy. a woman he knew for a few months back during the war. (sure they knew each other longer, but i’d say, even if you’re very generous, they can’t have spent more than a couple of months in each other’s company, and they kissed once). who they stripped of all character development and autonomy so that steve could go back and get his “damce”. everything she achieved, every good thing that happened to her, her husband, her family, her advancement in shield, all gone. bc steve must have his happy ending, no matter that she told him to move the fuck on in tws, who cares. 

and then there’s sharon. yeah, they forgot about her, didn’t they. i mean, i was never really on board with that, the whole aunt/niece thing was a bit too weird for me, and this was way before i shipped stucky, but that doesn’t matter. bc they did that, they had them kiss within days after peggy’s death (oooh, look how he cared for peggy), making it clear that this was the beginning of something. (also marvel and several of the actors treated emily like crap, oh yeah, i remember, doesn’t help either.) 

(gods i said this would be short, didn’t i? imagine if i could’ve spent all the words i’ve spent ranting about endgame on my latest chapter? good grief.)

then there’s their so called lgbt representation. 30 seconds of a character that had a total of 60 sconds of screentime in tws lamenting his dead lover? well. i. they wanted credit for that. i just.

then there’s thor. they negated every ounce of development he had in ragnarok, this also goes for aiw, wasn’t happy about that, and made him completely ooc, he just spends his time drinking ab\nd playing fortnite of all things? bold of them to assume that will still be a thing in 5 years, but also? thor? THOR? neglecting his people? his friends? the world? thor? then they of course made him fat, haha, so they could add fat-shaming to the list while they make light and fun of his drinking problems, his grief and his ptsd. awesome. the funniest. 

then there’s clint. that they just randomly made a killer? just, like a straight up murderer? okay then. and still nat deserved to die. excellent.

then there’s banner. okay, i don’t think they fucked him up as bad as the others, but it’s still strange he would risk his intelligence to become hulk full time, but you do you.  

rocket and rhodey were the best things about this damn disaster, just putting it out there.

then there’s tony. i mean, we knew he was the main protagonist, and im not objecting that, (even if i think it’s really strange he’d be born in 1970) but idk. that was strange’s plan? all that for that? and pepper just went, eh what the hell, just die, i can raise this kid you wanted. (i know, i know, she’s her mom, she cares), but it was just so flat. and idk. i mean, rdj wanted his life back, just as evans, but i’d want to see that switched, that tony get to retire and steve sacrifice himself to save the world. tony could still be the deciding factor in strange’s plan even if steve delivered the coup de grace. at least he cared enough to show an emotion™when peter came back, which was more than steve bothered with. jfc they fucked up steve.

then there’s the time travel. okay, a few things about the 2012 thing. they put him in the elevator, and then, instead of having him just kick the crap out of the agents, they reference hydra!cap? the biggest shitstorm in the comics in the last two decades? like what the actual fuck? then of course there’s the americas ass thing, which, again, that’s steve, cares about his ass but not his friends! (but at least 2012 steve cares about bucky, maybe he’ll save him a couple of years early, back to the future steve will just live out his life knowing bucky is getting tortured somewhere in siberia, good times.) oh! and i guess they have their loophole to get loki back too, great, they’ll probably just forget that he’s not in the main timeline, bc who cares. 

and the fun just keeps coming with the time travel. oh they tried with some crap explanation that no one can make sense of, but here’s the kicker. they can’t either, they don’t even want to try, they don’t even agree with each other. 

+ +

how did they know to meet up in wakanda or wherever, the dustees? did strange send a memo? not just the ppl in the soul realm or wherever they were, but all the others too, like valkyrie and hope. time and place just magically popped into their heads? and what happened when they all came back? or some came back, bc obviously a shit ton of ppl died at the dusting, like the pilot of a 747 gone? plane goes down and such, ppl really dead. and where do they reappear? where they disappeared? aka those passengers that got dusted comes back mid flight? fun! and what about the ones that moved on in their absence? what happens to the ones that come back when their wives and husbands are remarried, when there’s no place for them in their old lives. did all of peter’s classmates get dusted, or did the rest of the class graduate without him, i must assume that all of those in s:ffh did, otherwise some would be in college by now, yeah?

and that’s another reason their watertight time travel is leaky af, there’s no way to get the logistics to work. the only option as such would have been to go back to 2018 and fix it, to reset time, bc otherwise there are just too many holes, it’s just not possible. but they can’t do that bc then they’ll undo all the things that happen in the future that the characters don’t want to lose, like tony’s kid. 

oh, i know, it’s a superhero movie, but im strange like that, i expect a modicum of internal logic in all my movies, the bitch that i am. 

okay, im gonna leave it there, ive run out of steam, and i want to gif a set. there’s a few things more, but i think you’ve gotten the gist, that i’m not a fan of this movie and a short (lol, so sorry, nothing is ever digest with me, i should’ve warned you) list of reasons why. honestly this is the first time i’ve really don’t a more general account, ive pretty much stuck to steve and that crapshute, there’s a lot of other blogs that concentrate on the other characters, i’d list a few, but i don’t have it in me rn, pop me a msg if you’re interested, also if you’re interested in some real meta, this rambling rant isn’t something that people should be exposed to honestly. 

avengers: endgame was a shit movie and no amount of “he’s worthy” and “avengers assemble” is going to fix that, BUT if you enjoyed it, i don’t think less of you, obviously everyone is different, and i envy the hell out of you, i sorely wish i could’ve liked it too. the russos directed what is by far the best movie in the mcu imo, tws, and they had us all fooled, even if we probably should’ve seen it coming after iron man 4: civil war.

hope you’re having a spectacular day, sorry you had to read this if you did, and and thank you for making mine better, i really had a rant in me needing out. (you’d think i’d run out of hate for this by now, but nah.)

thank you for the ask :) 

[thesffcorner]

Book Couples of 2019: Ranked

I stole this idea from Sam at ThoughtsOnTomes, and I’ve done it two years in a row. So why not keep the tradition going in the next decade too and rank all the couples from books I read in 2019. 

Before we start, some ground rules: 

SPOILERS AHEAD;

All of the couples are from books I read in 2019;

All the couples must be canon; they are only on the list if they are written as explicitly romantic; 

Worst to Best, i.e. couples I liked the least to couples I liked the best. 

Let’s go!

TERRIBLE TIER: 

50. Erika and Michael from Corrupt by Penelope Douglass

Is anyone surprised that these two are the worst couple of the year? If you are, you must be new here. 

This pairing has all the tropes I hate in literature: an abusive, possessive alpha male hero who treats the girl like shit, but it’s ok because he loves her. He’s also willing to destroy her life over his friends, who as far as he knows raped her, so that’s fun too. Oh, and also it takes for her to almost die for him to tell her he loves her. We stan an emotionally stunted idiot. 

As for Erika, she’s entitled, dumb, naive and completely virginal, in spite of being in a committed long term relationship. She has no personality other than her unrequited 14 year old crush, but somehow she’s supposed to be smart and independent? Sure, Jan.  

49. Joe and Beck from You, by Caroline Kepness:

I don’t think I need to explain to anyone why I hated these two. They are both pretentious, horrible people and I’d say they deserve each other, except no one deserves Joe, not even Beck.

48. Marcus, Maria and Saya from Deadly Class by Rick Remendeer:

2019 was a bad year for love triangles, which is a trope I’m not a huge fan of anyway, but man did this year make me hate it even more. As the first example we have Marcus, Maria and Saya, who are by far 3 of the most obnoxious characters I have ever had the displeasure of reading from. 

First we have Maria, who is just ‘crazy’, because women be crazy y’all! She’s promiscuous, even though she has a boyfriend, who she then cheats on with Marcus, back-stabs her best friend over him, and then gets dropped like a potato when Marcus realizes he can sleep with Saya too. 

There are some attempts in the latter volumes to give her some depth and explain why she was dating Dio to start with, but you know, I’d rather you had opened with that. 

Marcus, outside of being the absolute worst person in existence, treats Maria poorly, talks shit about her behind her back, cheats on her, let’s her take the fall for stuff he and Saya did and in general doesn’t want to be with her, but stays because sex. 

His relationship with Saya is even worse; they like the same shitty music, and are both horny. Also Saya is a horrible tsundere cliche, which is already annoying in anime and manga, even well written ones, let alone when an American writer tries to emulate it. Badly. 

BAD TIER: 

47. Mariko, Akira and Taro from Empress of All Seasons by Emiko Jean

The second love triangle on the list, and this one wins by being the dumbest, most underdeveloped one of the year. 

Mariko was the character I liked the most, but her connection to both Akira and Taro was tenuous at best, and more than a little frustrating. 

Akira gets put in the friend-zone, except not really because he actually is proactive and tries to show Mariko that he values her, but then the book forgets about him so we can develop Taro, who is somehow even worse. At least Akira had a connection to Mariko before he fell for her; Taro sees her and decides she’s the one because she talks back at him thinking he’s just an ordinary samurai, not the prince, a trope that needs to fuckin DIE. Not to mention his faster than Kylo Ren turn to the darkside.

46. Odessa, Evander and Mereday from Reign of the Fallen by Sarah Glenn Marsh:

The next triangle on this list, and this one hurts more because it actually had potential. 

There is something really compelling about two women coming together to grieve the loss of a loved one, with the idea that Mereday has nursed a crush on Odessa since childhood, but because of social norms and her brother, she’s stayed away. 

What we get instead is an uneven mess, where neither character feels like they are progressing at all, and a ton of contrivances as to why they won’t talk to each other, instead of  building on the existing conflict of ‘Odessa’s boyfriend and Mereday’s brother is the same person, and he is dead’. 

45. Poe, Auden and St Sebastian from A Lesson in Thorns, by Sierra Simone:

Speaking of potential, these 3. 

This is one of those triangles where all 3 legs should be, and are written to be equal, but unfortunately, the author clearly liked the one I liked the least, the most. 

I liked Auden and St Sebastian, wanted to find out what happened to make Auden treat St Sebastian the way he did, and why St Sebastian let him do it.  I even liked the pull they felt for each other and the jealousy Poe brought up in them. 

I also really liked Poe and St. Sebastian, their angst over being separated, their bonding over feeling like outsiders in Auden’s world, and the loss of their respective mothers. 

The couple I liked least were Auden and Poe, which is the one Simone spent the most time on. I hated Auden’s entitlement, the blindness to his privilege, the unnecessary engagement to Delphine, and I likewise hated how horny Poe was 24/7 even when she’s supposed to be finding out what happened to her missing mother, which uh… is not good. 

44. Arthur and Ben from What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertali:

I wasn’t a fan of this relationship from the start, because I just couldn’t stand Arthur as a character. Even though he improved, the relationship didn’t. 

The two didn’t have any chemistry, they weren’t compatible, and Ben had rather serious issues he should have been solving, instead of jumping straight into a new relationship. Arthur also fixated on stupid shit like a box of stuff, which is appropriately immature, but didn’t make me root for them to succeed as a couple. 

Also I hated the ending. 

43. Penelope and Sam from Emergency Contact, by Mary H K Choi

In theory, these two would be in the meh tier, but what pissed me off about this relationship is how underdeveloped it was. Sam was a character who needed serious counselling and therapy, not a girlfriend, and Penelope was just an immature teenager. I didn’t root for them to get together, I rooted for them to get help.

42. Malachiasz and Nadezda from Wicked Saints, by Emily Duncan:

These two absolutely have to go to the bad tier, even though they had potential and worked with tropes I like. 

I love the idea of a villain-hero romance; it can be done right, and the push and pull between power and control, light and dark, etc can be invigorating. This, was not that. 

Firstly we don’t know that Malachiasz is a villain for most of this; at most we think he’s some kind of assassin, but considering the whole mission the characters are on is to destroy Kalyzin and kill the King, that’s not exactly damning. Second, what should be these characters’ conflict, their religious views isn’t at all explored and Nadezda falls for Malachiasz way too quickly for someone who has been indoctrinated from birth to kill people who do blood magic. 

Also there’s a set up for a love triangle in book 2, and when will my suffering end. 

 41. Celine, Bastien and Grimaldi from The Beautiful, by Renee Ahdieh: 

Speaking of love triangles, we have possibly the worst one I read this year, in that it wasn’t even properly established! 

I had the same issues with Bastien as I did with Auden; he had no personality, other than being rich and handsome. He also does the whole ‘this woman talks back to me, so she must be the one’, which is strike 1 against him. 

Celine was fine as a character, but her connection and love for Bastien felt unwarranted, considering both his behavior and everything she knows about him, not to mention it somehow felt rushed in a 500 page book. 

Grimaldi I just plain hated. Him stepping in to pretend that he was Celine’s lover when she’s lost her memories and clearly doesn’t love him, but ESPECIALLY him deciding out of the blue that he loves her after he detains and humiliates her for his own amusement made me rage quit this series. 

40. Daisy, Camila and Billy from Daisy Jones and the Six, by Taylor Jenkins Reid:

Yeah, I know it’s weird to put the couple(s) from a favorite book of the year in the bad tier, but I really, really didn’t like these pairings. 

Billy and Camila were infuriating. I get that people like that exist but Camila was far too forgiving considering everything Billy put her through. Billy was trash. 

I also hated the way Billy treated Daisy, and I was furious that she had to live with knowing what was happening between them for decades while he got to go home to his wife and pretend nothing happened. Yeah, this book hit a personal spot, read the review if you want more coherent thoughts. 

39. Noam and Dara from the Fever King, by Victoria Lee:

I am genuinely shocked they are this close to the meh tier, because boy was I not a fan of them. 

I wrote a really detailed review of this book, and all my issues with Noam and Dara, from their age gap, to the weird sexual politics, to substance abuse, and especially to Dara reading Noam’s mind for months without telling him anything. Their relationship made me uncomfortable, and that was without adding the third leg of this Godforsaken triangle which is Lehrer, a man who is like 100 years old. 

But hey, I still want to know what goes down in book 2, so they get to close out the bad tier. 

MEH TIER: 

38. Runa and Indigo from The Boneless Mercies, by April Genevive Tucholke:

Runa was a great character, but this romance is barely worth mentioning. It’s introduced at the very end, and it’s underdeveloped. 

37. Jack and the Village Girl from Down Among the Sticks and Bones, by Seanan McGuire:

I tried to look up the girl’s name, I really did, but I couldn’t find it and I don’t remember it. I also don’t have the book so I can’t check. 

I don’t know what I expected from a book about Jack and Jill, but Jill killing Jack’s girlfriend because she was jealous of Jack is… well not it. 

36. Lowen and Jeremy from Verity, by Colleen Hover: 

I struggled with whether to put these two in the bad or the meh tier. On the one hand, I cared not one bit about their relationship, even after we discover that it’s founded on lies and an attempted murder. On the other, there was nothing inherently wrong with their interactions and they did care for one another, even if was painfully boring. 

In the end, I decided that boredom is a meh trait so, meh tier it is.

35. Annaleigh and Cassius from House of Salt and Sorrows, by Erin A Craig:

Instalove, the couple. 

There was some potential, with the whole not knowing when it’s the real Cassius and when it’s Kosamaris or the Trickster pretending to be him, but it’s barely taken advantage of. In the end it’s just another ‘we’ve known each other for a week, but let’s die for each other’ plot. 

34. Mei and Kai from The Bride Test, by Hellen Hoang:

I really struggled where to put these two, because as individual characters, they were fine, great even. As a couple? Yikes. 

I loved Mei and wanted her to be happy, but the secret she kept from Kai was genuinely horrible, and I still can’t believe that the book resolved it by just not addressing it until the very end. 

Kai was fine, not nearly as developed or likable as Mei, but the way he treated Mei in parts of this book were horrific, even if he struggles with expressing feelings and boundaries. 

I ended up placing them in the meh tier, because at least they were never malicious to each other, which is more than can be said for the couples in the bad and terrible tier. 

33. Rachel and Delphine from A Lesson in Thorns, by Sierra Simone:

These two get to be in the meh, not the bad purely because I actually understood their dynamic. I really liked the idea of Delphine discovering her sexuality, both in women and in BDSM, and overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own body and desires. 

I also liked seeing Rachel realize that she had actual feelings for Delphine and having to deal with them. Too bad I’ll never get to find out how their relationship will pan out, cause fuck this series. 

32. Stevie and David from Truly Devious, by Maureen Johnson:

These two were perfectly fine, even interesting at points, until the ending, which made me so angry that they get to squat in the meh tier. 

Also Stevie going through David’s stuff? Not cool.

31. Yen and Vu Con from In the Vanisher’s Palace, by Aliette DeBodard:

The dynamic between these two was more than a little uneven, with the constant threat of murder and the knowledge that Yu would never be able to go home and see her mother, which is enough for me to resent any character no matter how cool of a dragon she is. 

But… that human-dragon sex scene. Wildest thing I’ve read all year. 

30. Henry and Diego from We Are the Ants, by Shaun David Hutchinson:

While I liked the book a lot, Henry and Diego were… not great. Diego was a character that at points came off more unreal than the aliens, from his wildly dramatic life story, to him not going to jail at the end, and his limitless patience when it came to Henry. Truly a manic pixie dream boy.  

29. Olive and Ethan from the Un-honeymooners, by Christina Lauren:

This couple would have been in the great tier, had it not been for the last third of the book. Ethan not believing Olive, telling her that she’s jealous and dramatic for wanting to warn her sister that his brother is a cheater, and then making up for it with a stupid, grandiose gesture instead of, actually talking to her and learning his lesson? Nah, we don’t stan that kind of manipulative behavior in this house. The only reason they are in the meh tier is because they really were cute the rest of the book. 

28. Isobel and Julio from An Alchemy of Masques and Mirrors, by Curtis Craddock:

Not much to say about them, mostly because they met in the last third of the book. I would take a bullet for Isobel, and judging by the blurb for book 2, Julio might have beat me to it, so he gets to be in the meh. 

27. Emily and Haskel from Passing Strange, by Ellen Klages:

Like Mei and Kai, I liked these two as separate characters more than as a couple. It’s not that there weren't any chemistry between them, it’s that they weren’t developed enough for me to care. If this were a longer work instead of a novella, they’d probably be higher. 

26. Jonas and Florian from The Monster of Elendhaven, by Jennifer Giesbrecht:

I liked the idea of this relationship more than the execution. Jonas being horny 24/7 for Florian’s dainty wrists was understandable, but Florian being sad that Jonas isn’t his dead twin sister… less so. 

However this does get points for having the strangest sex scene in any book I’ve read this year; yeah even stranger than the one in Gideon the Ninth. 

OK TIER:

25. Ruby and Dov from The Wise and the Wicked, by Rebecca Podos:

While I didn’t love the book, Ruby and Dov were fine. I appreciated the trans rep, I liked the way their relationship developed and the oddball humor the characters shared, and I thought they were cute together. 

24. Lila and Cassel from the Curse Workers Series, by Holly Black:

Lila and Cassel grew on me substantially between White Cat and the rest of the series. I liked the angst in Red Glove because of Lila being worked and I liked the rod trip they get to go on at the end of Black Heart. 

23. Aurora and Kal from Aurora Rising, by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman:

There is nothing wrong with Aurora or Kal, even their bonding/imprinting thing reminded me too much of Twilight/Avatar. 

They do have cute scenes together, but I’m just not a fan of the alpha male, macho boy ‘protecting’ the girl and deciding for her what he will do with their relationship. There’s room for improvement, is what I’m trying to say. 

22. All the couples from the Witchlands Series, by Susan Dennard:

I was originally going to split these up in different tiers, but seeing as it’s been exactly a year since I read these books, and I don’t remember much about these couples, they all get to go in the OK tier. 

First we have Ryber and Kullen from Sightwitch. I liked Kullen’s humor, which contrasted well with Ryber’s seriousness and diligence, but there’s very little of them as an actual couple. I hope we get to see them again in Bloodwitch. 

Aeduin and Iseult were also fine. I know they feature more prominently in Bloodwitch, but what little we get from them in Truthwitch and Windwitch was some solid set up for a good Ben/Rey, Zuko/Katara type relationship. 

Safi and Merik are my favorite, but that’s only because I love Safi. Merik is the weaker part of this duo, though I do enjoy their banter, and the scene in Truthwitch where they dance and start levitating was amazing. 

21. Sam Cade and Gina from Stillhouse Lake, by Rachel Caine:

I was really surprised by how much I still like these two as a couple. The only reason they aren’t higher, is because they don’t stay a couple by the end of the book. 

I genuinely loved how tender and slow their relationship developed, and how much character development Cade got to get to it. Him bonding with Gina’s kids, was super sweet and the scene where he asks Gina if he can kiss her warmed my shriveled heart.

GOOD TIER:

20. Frey and King Roth from The Boneless Mercies, by April Genevive Tucholke:

I think the theme for the good category is my surprise at how much certain couple stuck with me. When I read the book, I wasn’t thrilled with Frey and Roth, because a different romance for Frey had been built up. 

But now, a year later, I still remember their scenes, especially the one where Roth tells Frey he is writing an epic about her, and asks her to come back to him. Good sh*t. 

19. Kate and Shepherd from This Is Our Story, by Ashley Elston:

I was surprised at how much I liked these two as a couple. They were supportive and cute, while also dealing with some serious issues and angst. The ending was a bit dramatic, but the scene where Kate likes a 4 year old picture of Shep on instagram by accident SPOKE TO MY SOUL. 

18. Grier and Shafeen from STAGS by M A Bennett:

This is another pairing that surprised me with how much I liked them. The book claimed that Henry was charming, but Shafeen was the real charmer, and I could actually believe that he is a gentleman who went to private school. 

Grier was a bit dim, and more than a little naive, but I liked how she got through the huntin’ shootin’ an’ fishin.

17. Levi and Enne from Ace of Shades, by Amanda Foody:

I loved these two and they had great chemistry and banter, but they aren’t yet an official couple so I can’t really justify putting them any higher than good. 

The scene where Enne plays for Levi’s life? Amazing. 

16. Harrow and Gideon from Gideon the Ninth, by Tamsyn Mur:

I wanted them to be in the great tier, but they just weren’t. 

I loved Gideon; she was funny, a true himbo. But Harrow? I hated her for about the first 300 pages of the book. And when I finally stopped hating her, they had that weird bath sex scene and then Gideon DIED. 

So I can’t put them any higher knowing that I liked only 20% of their actual relationship.

15. Cat and Tyler from  Aurora Rising, by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman:

Cat and Tyler? Now that’s some good sh*t. 

I am a sucker for the captain and his/her pilot pairing, especially if one of them is a smooth talking pretty boy and the other a daredevil always ready to fight. These two were excellent, not just in their chemistry and banter, but also in the angst because what kept them apart actually made sense. 

I love that Cat broke a chair off of Tyler’s head when they met, Anne of Green Gables style, but I also love the scene where they first got together at the bar. Chef’s kiss. 

14. Sebastian and Emir  from Running with Lions, by Julian Winters:

Seb and Emir were really close to making the great tier, but there were just too many contrived reasons to keep them apart. 

I liked the slow build from enemies to friends to lovers, but I just wish we had gotten more time on the lovers section without unnecessary drama keeping them apart. 

13. Poppy and Cerenic from Sleepless, by Sarah Vaughn:

I freaking love Poppy and Cerenic, and they would have been in the great tier, had it not been for the rushed ending. 

They were still excellent together; supportive, trusting and caring, and that scene where Cerenic kisses Poppy so she can’t put him to sleep? God tier. 

GREAT TIER: 

12. Mia and Grace from On a Sunbeam, by Tillie Walden:

I loved how cute and realistic, Mia and Grace’s relationship was, which a wild thing to say for a series set in space. I loved their friendship, how it slowly became a romance, the heartbreaking way they split apart and then found each other again. 

The only reason they aren’t higher on the list is because they don’t end the comic as a couple, which works perfect for the story, but less so for my, uh, list of couples. 

11. Millie and Flora from Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins:

I am a sucker for the stuck up snob falls for the earthy dumbass, and Flora and Millie were exactly that. They were a really cute couple; I liked the discussion of homophobia in the royal family, letting someone else define your life and the overall way the two of them got together. I also appreciated Millie being the one to fuck up and doing everything she could to fix her mistakes. 

10. Daisy and Miles from Prince Charming by Rachel Hartman:

Daisy and Miles beat Millie and Flora just because reading their banter put tears in my eyes. I don’t think I’ve laughed out loud at any other book like I did this one. 

There were so many great moments in this book, starting from Big Bird Hat to Sebastian getting punched by Alex, but the scene I love the most was the scene between Miles and Daisy in the cabin. 

9. Severin and Laila from The Gilded Wolves, by Roshani Chokshi:

The amount of angst and sexual tension Laila and Severin have makes me wonder if this book perhaps should have been an adult. 

I like both characters on their own, though I’m always a sucker for the trope of two competent and smart people making the other an absolute fool just by being in the same room as them. 

I would have put them higher, but I just hate the way this book ended. Though since I’m mentioning scenes that were great… the dance. If you know you know. 

8. Jack Zimmerman and Bitty from Check, Please! By Ngozi Ukazu:

Jack and Bitty are too cute for words. I love the way their relationship developed, I love their dynamic, how positive their relationship is while also dealing with real world issues, like families and gossip magazines. 

Also this comic is amazing and free, go read it. 

7. Hypnos, Zofia and Enrique from The Gilded Wolves, by Roshani Chokshi:

I didn’t know that my perfect pairing is where every character is Jonathan from the Mummy, but I guess that’s my jam. 

Enrique and Zophia using their skills in math, languages and history to solve riddles together was great and hilarious, especially Enrique antagonizing Zofia just to see her reaction. 

Hypnos is my favorite character and the banter between him and Enrique was excellent; I’m always a sucker for smooth-talking rich, misunderstood anti-heroes with tragic backstories (ahem, Lando, ahem). If this is to be a love triangle with one pairing at the end, I really don’t know who I’m rooting for.

6. Zara, Beatriz and Nadim from the Honors Series, by Rachel Caine and Ann Aguire:

Finally, some good fuckin food. 

This love triangle fed me. It was the only one that was properly developed and established, I loved all 3 characters in it, and they all complimented each other amazingly. 

Zara is a great lead, I really loved her journey; I would die for Nadim, though I’d probably have to fight Zara for that because her commitment to him was so wonderful. I also really love how slowly and carefully Beatriz was introduced as a love interest, and how well balanced the three of them are. Can’t wait to see what happens in Honor Lost. 

5. Bri and Curtis from On the Come Up, by Angie Thomas:

Listen, their banter alone was enough to make me root for them. Also Curtis saved Bri from a freaking SWAT team so like… what more do I need to say. 

They were just super cute and entertaining ok? 

GOD TIER: 

4. Nax and Ryan from The Disasters, by M K Englnd:

The only couple that came close to making me laugh as much as Miles and Daisy, except I related to Nax way more as the bisexual disaster he is.

I loved the way Nax’s always on the edge of a panic attack, and yet somehow still so charming personality was complemented by Ryan’s cool calm and collected demeanor, and their banter was hilarious. 

I especially enjoyed Nax’ inner monologues, and the scene where they have to hide in a herd of goats had me in stitches. 

3. Neil and Andrew from All for the Game Trilogy, by Nora Sakavic:

People should learn how to write an angsty slowburn from this series. 

Andrew is an absolute piece of shit and Neal definitely deserved better, but I am not about to sit here and tell you that the scene where Andrew let Neal put his hand on his chest and Neal didn’t move it, didn’t send me into a weeklong crisis. 

2. Rachel and Sana from Tell Me How You Really Feel, by Aminah Mae Safi:

Sana and Rachel were like two halves of my own personality and yet somehow infinitely cooler than I’ll ever be. Their romance was an excellent homage to every great teen rom-com, and I loved every page of it. 

Sana was amazing; I loved her personality, the way she stood up for herself and dealt with problems. I also loved that for once the more feminine of the duo was the one who took charge of the relationship. 

The only gripe I have with Rachel was that she finished the film before the screening, like hello, ex-film student here: I call bs. 

1. Alex and Henry from Red White & Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston:

Was there any doubt here? Henry and Alex were hands down the best written couple of 2019. Not only were both individual characters fleshed out and so well developed, their relationship, going from enemies, to beruging friends, crushes, and finally lovers willing to upheave international politics was amazing to read about. 

Alex Claremont Diaz is my favorite character of the year and maybe even top 5 of all time, and if you haven’t read this book, read it. It will make you a happier person. 

And there you have it, 50 couples ranked. Happy reading in 2020!

[itspixelberrychoicestime]

A Date with a Ghost part 6

Book(s): The Freshmore Series & Haunting of Braidwood Manor

Summary: After My Classmate’s (Ghostly) Girlfriend, Hannah (HOBM MC) and Eleanor decided to have a double date with Kaitlyn and Emily (TF MC). And things get weird.| It’s time to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Pairing(s): Kaitlyn x TF MC, Eleanor x HOBM MC

Tags: @kennaxval @almogchoices @jbzxls @mfackenthal @helentwombly

Note: PLEASE COMMENT/ REBLOG/ DM ME IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN FUTURE STORIES!!

Warning: THIS CHAPTER WILL GO INTO THE THEMES OF FAMILICIDE, ALCOHOLISM AND THE MENTIONS OF SUICIDE.

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 (You are here!), 7

Eleanor sighed as she sent out the text of when to meet up with the girls. “I told them tomorrow afternoon.”

“I know asking this is going to annoy you, but are you sure about this?” Hannah asked her.

“Don’t be. I can reassure you that I am.” Eleanor got up to face the window. She hugged herself with her phone still in her hand.

Hannah got up to hug her girlfriend from behind. She kissed Eleanor’s cheek, and in comfort she said, “Don’t worry.” 

Eleanor’s phone dinged! She took a look at the text and let out a shaky breath once she got the “Okay!” from Kaitlyn. She softly cursed under her breath.

“What happened...?” Hannah took a glance at the text. “Oh!” She exclaimed.

“I guess there’s no turning back.” Eleanor frowned.

“Nope,” Hannah muttered. “Do you want to go out? It’ll get your mind off of this.”

“I’ll be fine.” Eleanor said. “I’m too tired.”

“There’s still light out, but whatever is fine.” Hannah grabbed Eleanor’s hand and led her to the bed. Once in bed, Hannah had thoughts running through her head, worrying about the next day.

----------------

The next day Kaitlyn and Emily stepped out of the subway train in Downtown Northbridge’s stop.

“So how long til we get there?” Emily asked.

Kaitlyn pulled out her phone and searched for directions. She read the estimated time, “It’s going to take us 30 minutes if we take the fastest route. We just have to take the number 5 bus and Braidwood Manor is a couple blocks away.”

“We should catch the bus asap then.”

“Right.” The girls rushed to catch the bus.

Nearly an hour later, the girls finally arrived to the front of Braidwood Manor. Kaitlyn and Emily sat on the steps and waited for Hannah and Eleanor to come.

Emily pulled out her phone from her jacket pocket, and went on group chat.

Emily: We’re here, but the other girls are nowhere to be found.

Zack: WHAT 😨

Becca: Are you out of your freaking minds???

Kaitlyn: Chill, we’re just going to hang out, Eleanor texted me this:

*Pulls up a screenshot of the text conversation between her and Eleanor*

Becca: WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE GOING TO GET KILLED OVER THERE

Chris: You could’ve have us come with you! @ Becca, wth?

Zack: BECCA NOT HELPING

Emily: We’ll be fine. Hannah and Eleanor wanted to talk to us about something, don’t know what.

Zack: Can you two at least promise you’ll come back in one piece?

Emily: Promise!

Kaitlyn: 🤞🏼

Emily sighed at her friend’s responses and tucked her phone away back to her pocket. “Well, this is going to take forever.” Emily rested her face on her hand. Kaitlyn played with the dead leaves with her boots. She hummed her new song’s tune.

“So how’s the song going?” Emily asked.

Kaitlyn sighed, “Not that great. It’s still missing that dumb chorus.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“Let’s hope it’s soon. Any new update about the house?”

Emily looked up to see the trees. “Eh. It’s still a long way coming. Stupid Delacroix...”

“I could punch him, y’know.”

“Sebastian or his dad?”

Kaitlyn smirked, “Both?”

Emily playfully rolled her eyes and laughed. “I don’t want you to go to jail for assault.”

“You and your morals.” Kaitlyn kissed her cheek. Emily giggled.

The girlfriends sat at the porch until they spotted Hannah and Eleanor. Emily and Kaitlyn noticed how disheveled Eleanor appeared to be. Her short hair was barely brushed and her face pale with dark circles forming around her eyes. Hannah wasn’t any better as she looked tired as before.

“Sorry we ran so late-- we overslept!” Hannah explained.

“Nah, it’s nothing.” Kaitlyn said. “Are we even allowed to go inside?”

“Yeah, let’s hope the doors are unlocked.” Hannah walked to the door and pulled the doors open. “After you.” She signaled the girls.

The house was restored to what it use to be. No broken chandelier on the floor, no tattered wallpaper and no dusty furniture.

“Guess they changed it once they did the documentary.” Emily whispered to Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn nodded.

Eleanor touched a wall. She frowned, “You’re right Emily. It looks like home, but it doesn’t feel like it.”

“Huh?” Kaitlyn cocked her eyebrow.

Eleanor turned to the girls. “There’s something I need to tell you.” She guided them to the upstairs hallway where the individual portraits of the Waverly family were located at. Kaitlyn raised an eyebrow in confusion. “What’s up?”

Eleanor took a shaky breath in and out and asked. “Do you see that portrait of her?” She signaled a portrait of a young woman, somewhere in her early twenties with a braid passing to her breast. She was wearing a a red and black gown with laces stitched and a black collar covering up her neck. 

Emily responded. “Yeah...?”

“Her name was Eleanor Waverly. She had just turned twenty when she had her portrait taken.”

Kaitlyn looked at Hannah, who grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and whispered in her ear. “I got you.”

Eleanor confessed, “I am that girl. I am Eleanor Waverly.”

Emily and Kaitlyn looked at each other and back to the other girls. Frowning, Hannah spoke up, “You don’t believe it, do you?”

Kaitlyn looked back and forth of her and the portrait many times. All she could say was, “Uhmm...” Emily stepped in. “What she meant to say is, is that we just thought it was a coincidence that you look like her.”

“Allow me to explain.” Eleanor stated, “But we need to find a place to talk in private. Hope to God there’s nobody here besides us.” She took them downstairs to the parlor where she signaled Kaitlyn and Emily to sit down. “It’s better to hear about this sitting down.”

Eleanor took over the conversation. “Well, here it goes... My family and I moved here when I was fifteen from England once my father found employment. This was about a few year before he was sent to the war. As you may know, my mother was... not well. I don’t know what happened, but she forbade my siblings and I from ever going outside. She sent people to do errands. She was small, but somehow had us under her power. Often times she even gives us a smacking if we’re caught outside.”

Emily’s eyes opened in shock. Kaitlyn covered her mouth in shock and disgust.

“One day something happened. My siblings were sick and I knew I had to leave to find medicine, but my mother was persistent in me drinking some hot cocoa. I don’t know why she was pushing me, but... I heard my brother Thomas falling in the hall. He got up from his bed to tell me that my sister Clarissa had passed.”

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” Emily said.

Eleanor continued. “It was a long time ago. Literally. My mother told me it was the only way to protect us. I knew something about that damned drink. It was too obvious for me to figure it out. I tried to get away from her. I could still hear Simon crying for mother and Thomas having little time to live.”

She lifted her shaken hand to her hand and took a sharp breath. Exhaling she finished, “Mother grabbed my hair from behind. She had a broken piece of vase that Thomas broke earlier... I plead to her to not hurt me, but...” Eleanor choked up into a sob. She clenched the necklace she had once she came back to life. A painful reminder about what had happened. She then placed her hand onto her neck, indicating the result.

Emily wiped her tears away while Kaitlyn sat down on the couch. She covered her face and muttered “Damn” under her shaky breath.

Hannah and Eleanor sat on the couch where Hannah hugged her girlfriend and stroke her hair in comfort. Eleanor was still holding on to her necklace.

The four girls sat in the parlor in silence. Minutes that seem like hours rolled by with silence, except the wind hitting the leaves outside. Eleanor spoke up. “I want to show you two something.”

------------

The family cemetery was located outside of the manor. The girls looked at Eleanor and her sibling’s tombstones. 

“You mentioned your dad earlier, what happened to him?” Emily asked.

Eleanor sighed. “My father found out about what happened to us.” She frowned, “It broke him to the point where he developed a drinking problem. He died within the next five years.”

“Oh shit.” Kaitlyn muttered. “I’m so sorry.”

Eleanor said nothing and knelt to her late father’s tombstone. She placed a hand on it, running her fingers through her dad’s name. 

William C. Waverly. 

She got up and noticed that the sun will be setting. “We should go. It’s getting late.”

Emily meekly asked, “Hey Eleanor?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to sound rude, but why did you bring us here?”

Eleanor’s lips trembled, “I started getting these horrible nightmares. About what my mother did to us. Something tells me that I need to do something about this.”

“When I died, I remembered everything that my mother did to us. My siblings fortunately, to say the least, didn’t remember a single thing about that day. 

Hannah confessed. “My brother Jonathan actually...” She exhaled with dread, “He, um took his own life.”

Emily gasped with her hand covering her mouth.

Hannah hold herself together. “I found his note and the only thing I did was hiding it away from our parents. I didn’t want them to find out like this, so they thought he was in an accident.”

She tensed up and took a deep breath. “Oh god.” She muttered. “And I, uh, I started to get those nightmares too. He kept telling me how much I was a liar for doing this. I couldn’t tell anyone about this because, becau-” Hannah sobbed.

Hannah slumped on the ground and covered her eyes. Eleanor crouched near her girlfriend and put a comforting arm around her.

“Hey, hey, hey...” Emily helped Eleanor picking up Hannah. “It’s okay to feel hurt, but it doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone.”

Kaitlyn nodded, tears streaming down. She wiped them with her jacket sleeve, not caring if her makeup had already dirty it.

“Hannah decided to come here to fix whatever was happening. Her friend Victor dropped her off to spend the night here.” Eleanor replied. She rubbed her girlfriend’s back, “Just take a few deep breaths.” She said to her softly.

Hannah composed herself. “I can’t explain it, but I had a gut feeling that this house could fix my problem. Ironic now that it’s El’s turn.”

“So, that’s how you two actually met?” Kaitlyn asked.

Eleanor nodded. “She spent such a short time, but with her... I wasn’t so afraid. of my hellish mother. That’s what I love about her.”

Hannah chuckled. “Yeah, just witnessing her world wasn’t exactly in the agenda, but it was worth it. I still miss those kids.”

“Who? Your brothers and sister?” Asked Emily.

“Yes, it took Thomas some time to ease on Hannah, but we welcomed her as if she’s family.” Eleanor answered.

Hannah gave a small smile. “I could imagine this now, ‘Hey kids, you wanna hear the story of how I met your mom?’“

Eleanor rolled her eyes, but laughed. “I guess you can say that your mother made me feel so... alive.”

The girls laughed at this future scenario. They then left the Manor once it was nighttime. Each pair left hand in hand.

------------

Once they reached the train stop to Hartfeld, the two pairs stepped out to the platform.

“You must never tell anyone about this.” Eleanor warned them. “I don’t think the world is ready to hear that the dead are alive.”

Emily crossed her heart. “Swear, cross my heart and hope to die!”

Eleanor’s eyes went wide. “Emily, you mustn’t say that-!”

“El, she swore it.” Hannah placed her hand on Eleanor’s shoulder. Eleanor blushed hard of embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, we gotcha back,” Kaitlyn smiled. “See you girls later!” She put her arm around Emily.

“Bye! Take care!” Emily waved goodbye.

“Bye!” Hannah said.

-------------

“It’s crazy to know that ghosts exist?” Kaitlyn flopped onto Emily’s bed. Emily finished changing to new pair pajamas.

“Yeah, I guess you could say I was kinda skeptical about the paranormal.” Emily sat down beside her.

“Just imagine; there might be witches and werewolfs!” Kaitlyn’s face lit up. “Or vampires!”

“I think we have to take one creature at a time,” Emily laughed, but yawned as she had to go to bed soon. “I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.”

Kaitlyn got up from Emily’s bed. “You sure you don’t want me here?” She cocked her eyebrow and bit her lip.

Emily replied, “As much as I want to, I can’t. Gotta meet up with James and Reyna first thing in the morning.”

“You’re lucky I like that cute butt of yours.” Kaitlyn stuck her tongue out and winked. Kaitlyn began to close the door behind her. “Alright, g’night.”

“Night.” Emily gave a soft smile just before sleeping.

Kaitlyn held her head high to complete the new song. Once she got into her room, she grabbed her guitar and notes to finish this once and for all.

About an hour and a half later and

“See you in my dreams,

Feel you in the dark-”

As she hummed the tune, she sang “Take me anywhere, figuring who you are, the ghost of you has now become a part of me- OH MY GOD!” She screamed. Kaitlyn jumped from the bed, and ran out to Emily’s room.

“Em! Emily! I got it! I fucking got it!” Kaitlyn yelled.

Emily opened her door. Her eyes were slightly opened and her hair was messy from turning too often. “Yeah...?”

“I got the chorus! I got it!” She embraced Emily.

“That’s awesome,” Emily yawned. “I’m really tired...”

Kaitlyn blushed. “Oops- I didn’t noticed that I woke up everyone, did I?”

Becca came out of her room. With a hand on her hip and narrowed eyes, Becca said, “No, you really didn’t.”

[kimnamjooonz]

Blank Space - Episode 11

Everything Has Changed

Songs used in this Episode:

Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift ft Ed Sheeran

Feelings are shared, words are said and confessions are made.

''Come back and tell me why I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, and meet me there tonight and tell me that this is not all in my mind''

''We don't want to get out through the main door'' Morgan stated. ''It's full of paparazzi. What do think they'll think if they see us leave together? You don't want to start rumours... or do you?'' That was the least thing that Morgan wanted. There were already people in the world that thought that Sebastian and Morgan would make hell of a couple, and even though they weren't wrong, she didn't want to be seen as if they were following that advice. And there was the tiny detail that he had a girlfriend. ''I thought you were the queen of not giving a fuck. You're my date and everyone knows that, they're expecting us to leave together. And we're just getting pizza, not spending the night in a cheap motel.'' He was right. If they left together there wouldn't be much of a fuss as if they left separately or with different people. ''You have no shame'' ''Great. Now let's leave'' As they expected, the paparazzi started taking pictured and shouting questions at them by the second they took a glimpse of them. ''Morgan! Are you walking in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show?'' No, she wasn't. ''Are you two dating?'' No, they weren't. He had a girlfriend, for God's sake. ''Sebastian, do you want to see Morgan stepping on the runway?'' Yes, he wanted. Better if it was in lingerie. ''Morgan, is it true that you're planning to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe?'' She wanted to laugh. Of course that she wanted to join the MCU but it wasn't as if she could show up in Atlanta and Marvel was going to give her a role out of the blue. ''Morgan, is it true that you and Chris Evans have been seeing each other?'' And that was enough for Sebastian who did the most stupid thing he could have done and not even Morgan was ready for it. He just simply reached out for her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. And that gesture in itself said enough. Morgan wanted to murder him. Yes, there was nothing wrong with leaving together but leaving together holding hands in front of a horde of paparazzi was a complete different story. ''You make a really hot couple!'' some paparazzi shouted. ''Thank you!'' he shouted back with a big smile on his face. Well, Morgan was sure that they were going to be brutally murdered by Taylor and Emily when they found out about what had just happened. And thank to the wonders of the Internet they'll find out very soon. And stan twitter was probably going to blow up in pieces after this. With all the calm in the world he guided her towards a taxi and opened the door for her to enter. Every single one of their movements were being caught in camera. ''You idiot!'' she hissed after Sebastian closed the door. ''What have you done?'' ''Calm down, nothing's wrong. Do you think these people will think that I'm cheating on my girlfriend in such a public and shameless way?'' ''Of course they will, you idiot! They were already suspecting it after out little show at MSG! How do you think this will be seen? You held my hand and basically shouted that we look hot together!'' ''Where's the lie, Llewellyn. I though you didn't care about people's opinion'' he raised his eyebrows. ''And I don't. Look, I don't care about your girlfriend, I don't care about the general public, I don't care about the media. But I don't really want to face Taylor. And she will want to kill me''. That seemed to ground Sebastian. ''And Emily...'' now he looked concerned. ''...damn, what have I done.'' ''What's done is done'' Morgan had no other option than resign herself. ''Now let's get that pizza.'' ''Are you really seeing Chris Evans?'' he asked out of nowhere. The best answer to that question was 'It's none of you goddamned business' but she decided to tell him the truth. ''We talked for half an hour about pets and I didn't even get his number. That question answers itself. It's a no, by the way. Happy?'' ''Actually, yes'' he had a triumphant smile on his face. The taxi left them in front of a Pizza Hut. Sebastian guided Morgan inside, as if they were getting into the most elegant restaurant of the city. ''We can't stay here'' he started when they had already got the pizza boxes and a couple of beers. ''People are already looking at us and we're not very discreetly dressed.'' Morgan knew that it was true. They were dressed for an elegant party not for getting pizza. ''Let's get out of here.'' this time she grabbed his arm and got him out of the place. They were looking for a place to eat for a little while until they settled for a spot under a tree in a park. Elegant. ''I'm sitting on the grass in a thousand dollar dress. Luke will kill me tomorrow, add him to the list of people that'll want to murder me after this.'' she grabbed a slice of pizza. ''And this is an Hugo Boss suit. My stylist is getting my neck tomorrow.'' he delicately bit his pizza. ''As everyone wants to kill us, I suggest that we elope together before someone notices. Look, we can go north, to Alaska, get a nice cabin in the woods and live there.'' ''Yeah, that's what I was planning: changing my promising acting career for Alaska and a cabin in the woods.'' ''You get me as part of the deal'' he winked at her. ''That's irresistible'' she joked. ''It's not that bad... we'll become friends in time. We'll be in a small cabin in the woods so maybe even romance will flourish between us'' he cheekily winked at her. What he had said sounded like the plot of a cheesy Christmas movie. ''You sure? Because I think that it's more probable that we'll end up in a bigger war. We don't get on very well so imagine if we're left alone for weeks.'' ''Don't be such a pessimist, Llewellyn. Alaska would change us'' ''Forgive me if I can't see how Alaska may change us. Both of us under the same roof is not even a potential disaster, is a guaranteed catastrophe.'' Sebastian was having fun with Morgan's answers. But he couldn't help by wonder how would it feel to share a home with her. It would either be a nightmare or a dream, there was no middle ground. ''Don't be too harsh... look at us, we're having plenty of fun.'' ''Because we're desperate. We were starving in a place where the only thing left to eat was shrimp.'' She had a point. But Sebastian also knew that if he had gone at that party by himself, he'd have stayed there and forcefully eaten the shrimp. He had to thank Morgan for making him a braver person. ''Fair point. But I also think you're more fun than everybody else.'' Morgan almost laughed at him. ''You're a masochist if you think I'm fun. The only thing I do, ninety percent of the time is mortify you. Sometimes I'm kind of sorry but then you ask the most inappropriate questions and say stuff that makes want to smack you in the head.'' ''Inappropriate? Me?'' his eyes got impossibly big. '''Are you seeing Chris Evans?''' she mocked his voice. ''I let that one pass but why do you even care?'' before he started rambling some rushed explanation Morgan stopped him. ''Don't answer that. It just surprises me how cool you think I am. Probably Evans doesn't even remember me and you thought we were dating.'' ''No one that's seen you, can forget you. And I think you're... interesting, even if half of the time I want to send you back to Wales.'' She wasn't surprised about that at all. There were days that Morgan herself would have preferred to work with anybody else in the industry rather than Sebastian Stan. ''Nice to know'' she took a sip of her beer. ''Coming back to Alaska... I think that if Damien wants to unleash all the chemistry we have inside, he should send us there for a while.'' ''Don't give him ideas. He's capable of doing it. He was the one us that convinced Taylor to send me here with you.'' ''He ships us.'' Morgan sent him a weird look. ''Since when do you speak fangirl?'' immediately Morgan regretted having said this. It was better not to mention the word 'fangirl' in front of Sebastian. She had been his fan and that was something he could never knew if she didn't want him to tease her until the next century. ''Nevermind. Forget it. is not that he likes us together, he needs us together, at least in a friendly way, to hype the movie so the general public can see how good we look together. I thought you knew how things worked in Hollywood.'' ''Yeah, but I never had to date anyone for publicity.'' ''You're not dating me for publicity'' she immediately said. ''I was never going to agree to that. But Damien is literally setting us up.'' Sebastian felt a weird feeling of gratitude towards Damien. Yes, he knew it wasn't right but he couldn't control his emotions. ''He's not the only one'' he decided to lead the conversation ahead from his own feelings without changing the topic. ''All the Internet apparently share his view. I am constantly tagged in countless of Instagram collages about us. I swear that they can't wait to see us married with three kids and a dog.'' Yeah, Sebastian fans also made manips of him married to Chris Evans, living happily ever after and taking pictures every Christmas with Dodger in them. Morgan herself had retweeted a couple, in the past, of course. So, nothing surprised her anymore. ''If they only knew....''' she laughed ''...that this is absolutely impossible'' That hurt Sebastian a little. He knew that Morgan had never expressed much interest in him in that way but hearing her rejecting the possibility in such a  direct way, wasn't nice at all. Maybe it was because he had a girlfriend and that had ruled him out completely from Morgan's list of possible love interests. If she even had one. ''Wow, you have the same sensitivity of a rusted axe.'' he tried to sound sarcastic but there was a hint of hurt in his voice that Morgan noticed. And it wasn't acted. She couldn't believe how big his ego was if he had got offended by getting ruled out of some imaginary possibility. And it wasn't even true because the main supporter of the Morgan-Sebastian ship was Morgan herself. But never in a million years she was going to say it out loud. ''What a snowflake. Really, you're about to make me laugh. I don't say it's impossible because I'm rejecting you of your fans' imaginary plans. I'm saying it because it's biologically impossible that their fantasy ever become a reality.'' It took a while for Sebastian to process and then understand her words. But when he finally did, he felt that he was the one with the sensitivity of a rusted axe. He had judged Morgan without knowing the whole story. Morgan noticed the regret on his face and how much he wanted to say something but he was struggling to find words. And Morgan didn't help him. He desperately wanted to ask something to make sure that his suspicions were correct and he hadn't misunderstood Morgan's words. ''Just ask whatever you have in your mind'' But he couldn't just ask such a personal question, let alone in a couple of minutes later that he had called her a 'rusted axe'. ''You... you...'' he wasn't able to say anything. ''No, Sebastian, I will never be able to have children of my own. And change that sad expression from your face, please, because it's really stupid. Look, it doesn't affect me so I can't see no reason why it should affect you.'' But Sebastian's sad face was actually regret. He felt awful for bringing a sensitive topic without knowing nothing. ''I'm so, so, so, so sorry.'' he was looking directly at Morgan's eyes. ''I didn't know... I feel like such a stupid idiot for bringing this topic and... I called you insensitive... you have no idea how sorry I am''. And Morgan noticed that it was sincere. ''Don't worry. It's not really a sensitive topic. I've known about this little issue since I was fifteen and I've come to terms with it a long time ago. It's not even a secret. Look, women are not reproductive machines. We're human beings capable of doing great things. If you think that not being able to pop out a child out of my body lessens my worth as a woman, let me kick you in the head back to the eighteenth century, where you belong.'' He lifted his hands in surrender. ''I don't think that way, Morgan, I swear. Women are the most powerful beings in the universe, independently if they have kids or not, who cares about that. I mean, the world is already overpopulated and dying, we don't need more kids. And women are more stronger an brave than men, only idiots with fragile masculinity can't admit it. You have to deal with periods, that according with what I've read around, they feel like you're being stabbed. Men could never.'' Well, at least he was a man that didn't blush or got uncomfortable by the word 'period'. Points for him. ''You're right in something, I can't believe it.'' she mocked him. ''If having a period is bad enough, I can't imagine giving birth. Literally, you're pushing a watermelon from your lady parts.'' This time Sebastian blushed and looked embarrassed as hell, even with the light of the park's lamp post she could notice. Morgan just raised her eyebrows and looked at him with mild curiosity. He was giving her good material to tease him. ''Wow, wow, wow. What left the mighty Sebastian Stan so hot and bothered. Was it the lady parts or the watermelon? If it's the watermelon I might be... sightly concerned.'' Sebastian blushed even more. ''I can't believe you're so direct. You just described a birth using a watermelon as an example. I'm never forgetting this.'' ''What is so weird about it? Do you know how kids are brought into this world or do you still believe that the seagulls bring them?'' ''Seagulls?'' Sebastian was wondering in which Welsh legend seagulls brought babies. ''Maybe you mean storks, Morgan.'' ''Yeah, it's the same thing, they both have wings, who cares.'' Morgan wasn't an expert at differencing birds. Everything that had wings, feathers and a beak were either chickens, ducks, seagulls or pigeons. ''That's wasn't the point.'' ''I'm not that stupid to believe in legends, I never did by the way. And before you ask, I don't believe in Santa.'' suddenly he laughed. ''Seagulls... look, when we'll have to do the press junkets to our movie and someone asks me for a funny cast anecdote I'm going to tell them that you confused seagulls with storks.'' She actually didn't mind. ''I'm not an intellectual prodigy, Sebastian''. He looked surprised. Yeah, Morgan may be annoying and obnoxious but he always thought that she was smart. Maybe she liked learning certain things and focused on them rather than trying to learn about everything. ''I think you are pretty smart. Yeah, maybe you're not Stephen Hawking but... who is. You have another type of knowledge, the one that you can't learn in books.'' Morgan wondered why he got out of his way to compliment her. It was not as she deserved his kindness. But he was a kind person to literally everyone. But this was the Sebastian Stan she had imagined for the past five years. The one that had destroyed her standards in men. The Sebastian she had fallen in love with. ''You give good compliments, Sebastian.'' ''Maybe I do'' he lifted her chin with his fingers so he could look at her better. ''See? You can be nice if you want to. You've been pretty nice tonight, Morgan.'' It was hard for them to resist the temptation and not kiss. They had to gather all the will they had in themselves to keep calm. ''I think we should go'' she proposed. After all, they had finished with their food. ''I think so.'' They gathered the empty pizza boxes and beer bottles and threw them in the trash can. The way back to the hotel was quiet and calm. They weren't speaking but the silence between tem wasn't uncomfortable at all. They fell at ease with each other. Only when they got into the elevator they could notice how messy they were. They had grass and pizza crumbs on their expensive clothes. Morgan had even stained her dress with beer. Luke was going to kill her. ''You have a leaf in your hair, Morgan'' he brush it away with extreme softness. Morgan got off in the seventh floor and Sebastian stood alone on the elevator, more confused than ever. She was driving him crazy and he wasn't doing anything to prevent it. On the contrary, he was all the time finding more and more reasons to be more attracted to Morgan if it was possible. Once he got into his room, and after changing his clothes for something more comfortable than an elegant and expensive suit, he threw himself to the bed and tried hard to fall asleep. But he couldn't. He was just waiting for someone (Morgan of course) to knock on his door. They didn't need to say a word, he'd just get her into his room and slowly take off that amazing red dress of hers, even if it was stained with grass. He'd take his time with her, without rushing anything, making sure of kissing every single inch of her skin, paying special attention to her long and kissable neck. He'd let her do the same to him, touch his skin with that long and soft fingers. He was hers to keep and she could do whatever her wanted. Kiss him, lick him, bite him, taste him, scratch him, whatever she wanted. Afterward, he'd made love to her in the most exquisite and intimate way he could imagine, enjoying every single second of it. But that was too good to be true, and of course that it was not going to happen. Morgan was probably fast asleep in her room, not giving a damn about his turbulent feelings.

P.S. Seagulls? Really Morgan?