#by quick i mean i'm going to dump these on your doorstep and run away with no explanation not that they're short

[sirenlulls]

emily, i'm sorry → c. zdunowski

pairing — cynthia zdunowski x fem!reader

summary — you were the one person cynthia never had to change for. all it took for her to realise was you leaving.

i just make it up as i go along, and i can feel myself becoming someone only you could want...

cynthia never really understood when people said, they "fell in love." to her, falling was an accident, something you don't want but have anyway — a burden. she much preferred to say she chose to love, with purpose and intention behind every thought and action. she always knew that when she did find love, it wouldn't be through a fall, but through a choice.

she chose to love you, how could she not? you'd grown up side by side, from cradles to cars, you'd always been there. you yelled at people who made fun of her and said you loved her hair. you balanced her out perfectly, her other half, the one thing that made her whole.

but now, hearing everyone get ready for the fall ball, she wondered if she'd made the wrong choice.

there was a guilt that stirred in her gut every time you looked at her with bashful eyes, full of joy from the lingering feeling of your lips on hers. there was a nagging in her mind that reminded her that no matter how good it felt, how good you felt, it wasn't normal. she couldn't explain it, so it mustn't actually be good.

but she had given you hope when she was dumped on your doorstep by the t-birds with drink on her breath and a half-apology in her eyes. when she kissed you the second you made it to your room. when she told you that she loved you, that she wanted you, that she always had.

you weren't one to be ashamed of what you believed in. in fact, for as long as she'd known you, cynthia couldn't remember one time where you stepped away from the chance to be brave and let your voice be heard. most people said you two were similar in that regard, she disagreed.

you see, cynthia was loud, she knew that, but you were proud. her words carried comic relief, while yours carried truth. she figured that's why everything was so hard for you now.

standing in your bedroom, chests heaving and eyes laden with tears. "what do you mean 'it was a mistake'?" you asked and cynthia's nails dug crescent moons into her palms at the crack in your voice.

"we shouldn't have- you know that." she swallowed around her words. her mouth was dry and she tasted bile. she didn't know which of you she was trying to convince.

"you don't get to say that. not after what you said the other night. it's not fair." there was a tremble as you spoke, and it took everything in cynthia to stick to her brain, to stick to what she'd seen her whole life.

"i'm sorry, but it shouldn't have happened. we're friends, girl friends. we shouldn't do that stuff."

"you said you loved me." the room ran cold and the air around you grew tense.

"i do! just... not in that way." her heart surged in her chest, as if it was trying to fight its way from her and take back everything she was saying.

a tear fell down your cheek and you were quick to wipe it away, taking a deep sobering breath. "i, uhm, i think you should go, cynthia."

cynthia. not cyn, or any nickname you'd given her before.

cynthia. a name she only ever heard you say when you were mad.

cynthia. the name of a stranger.

cynthia rolled her lips and sighed, scratching the back of her neck as if she was about to say something, to fight it, to fight for you. but she didn't. she let her hand drop back to her side and walked out of the room with a quiet "yeah."

for the first time since your friendship began, you didn't run to the window to make sure she got to her bike safely, as if something was lurking in the suburban bushes lining your front lawn. now you felt like you'd be sick if you saw her again, you felt a sob crawl from your throat before you could catch it, and once that passed, the floodgates opened and you sat on the edge of your bed with your head in your hands and tears on your sleeves.

as your shoulders shook, a small part of you hoped she could see you from the window to know how much she'd hurt you.

to you, cynthia was everything.

you had loved her from the moment you met her, a raggedy-haired prankster in kindergarten who spilled paint over one of the boys' shirts. when you made her daisy chains, you gave her your soul, and it stayed with her when the petals fell and the stalk wilted away.

she knew that. she knew, not just because you told her, but because she had eyes and could see the way you shone when she walked into a room. she could see the smile you couldn't contain when she made a horrible joke. she could see the downcast of your eyes when she put her arm around your shoulder in a diner booth.

she knew she had your heart in her hands, and she was cruel with it, burying you with your hopes and leaving without a eulogy.

when cynthia got home, she slammed the doors and screamed into her pillow. it was all too much. she was too angry, too sad, too hurt, too devoted to you.

she missed you already, nudging your foot with hers under the desk in chemistry, laying her pinkie finger over yours under the table at frosty palace, kissing your forehead under the blanket of night. she could feel the memories fade away, you shrinking away from her with hatred in your eyes. she could feel herself shrinking away too, at the mercy of the disgusted eyes of others.

but she had to do it because she knew you'd stay if she didn't. caring for her like a dog curled up at the foot of her bed, cynthia knew you'd accept her half-love, embrace her half-kisses, believe her half-truths. she knew you. she knew you'd take the bruising of her guilt and internalised self-hate. she knew herself. she knew she'd take it out on you, grow cold and callous.

besides, whatever lay between you two wasn't normal. the longing glances and the stolen kisses weren't something you should be doing together. not when shy guy looked at her that way, not when anyone could look at you that way.

she figured she was just dazed, giddy at the chance to love and be loved, that all sense had flown out the window. she was sure her sentiments would still be the same if they were directed towards someone else. maybe that's why her feet didn't drag as she walked to the phone and her voice was high-pitched when she asked him to the dance.

if someone had told you two weeks ago that you'd been dreading the fall ball, you would've called them crazy. your dress had been hanging in your wardrobe since september and your inspiration for your hair had been cut from a june-issue magazine. but now, when the night finally came and you sat at your vanity alone, you wished it was over already.

you hadn't spoken to cynthia in three days, having avoided her at every opportunity and, in doing so, avoided the rest of the pink ladies too. a part of you wished she was here now, sitting on the edge of your bed with bright eyes and countless questions, constantly in awe of you. but with a solemn glance at the picture frame to your left, the one where you were laughing with cynthia's arms around you, taken by jane on a random starry night, you remembered what she'd said and your face grew stoic again.

you stood up and smoothed out your dress, hugging your figure nicely in a deep emerald green. you gave yourself your best smile, taking a deep breath, and walking out the door for your father to drive you to the school.

"you meeting the girls there?" he asked. "mhm." you nodded with a tight smile. you could tell he didn't believe you, but for the sake of your peace and your dignity, he let it go. "have a good night, kiddo. call me if you need anything, yeah?" you smiled at him and kissed his cheek before bidding him goodbye.

you got to the door before your body froze, you willed yourself to move but anxiety rendered you paralyzed. "y/n?" lydia asked, concern in her voice as she walked up behind you. "are you alright?" you shook your nerves away, facing her. "yeah, just nervous." lydia furrowed her brows and gave you a short nod of understanding. she linked your arm with hers, leaning in to whisper to you, "me too." she winked. "let's do it together?" you beamed at her, squeezing her arm as you walked in.

the noise was the first thing you registered, tensing momentarily, lydia swore she could feel the anxiety radiating from you. "you look great tonight, by the way." she smiled to ease the tension. "so do you. i love the pin." you nodded to the heart on her dress and she lit up. "thanks." you could feel eyes burning into the back of your skull and when you turned around you locked eyes with cynthia. lydia followed your line of sight.

"go talk to her." "what?" "look, i'm not complaining that you and i have been hanging out a lot these past few days, but you're clearly happiest when you're with her." "but what about us doing this together?" lydia smiled at you warmly, nudging you forward. "go. i'm a big girl, i can take care of myself. find me if things go wrong, though, okay?" "yeah. thank you, lyds." she squeezed your arm once more, gently pushing you towards cynthia.

cynthia straightened up when she saw you walking towards her. "you look nice." you said, nerves lacing your voice. cynthia hesitated. "you really think so?" "i always think you look nice, cynthia." an awkward silence hung between you two, neither of you knowing what to say. "i missed you." she blurted out. "i missed you too." you were about to take it further, ask if you could talk in private, see if she really meant everything from that night. but then you saw something you never thought you'd see.

"hey, y/n." shy guy greeted, handing cynthia a drink and putting his arm around her. you tried to mask your shock. "hey! are you two...?" you trailed off. "together? yeah." cynthia butted in. "oh." you played with your hands, plastering on a smile. "well, uhm, have a great night, you guys. i've got to go but, uh, i'll see you around."

you walked away quickly, hastily brushing a tear from your face before anyone could see. "shit." cynthia cursed before following after you into the bathroom. "y/n—" she froze when your head snapped up, meeting her eyes through the mirror and mascara smudged around your eyes. "what're you doing here, cynthia? you're boyfriend's waiting for you." she sighed and bit her tongue. "i'm sorry." "for what exactly?" your words were sharp and uncaring. she didn't say anything. you turned around to face her.

"look, cynthia. i love you. i always have, and you know that. but right now, you're hurting me, and i have enough self worth to know that i don't deserve that. so until you're grown enough to admit to my face what you've done, we're done." her mouth hung open and she was about to object. "cynthia, i can't keep letting myself be hurt by people. i love you, i really do, but i can't be around you like this. it's too much."

she looked like she was about to speak again, but she saw the dead-set look on your face and knew she'd do no good at convincing you to stay. you cursed your longing and empathy when you wrapped your arms around her for the last time. "go have a good night with him." you managed to smile until she walked out the door.

when your legs stopped wobbling and you trusted yourself to blend into the crowd, you pushed through the door to find lydia, seeing her giggling with a pretty blonde across the hall. you tapped her shoulder. "i'm gonna head out." her face sobered in concern. "you want me to come with?" you looked past her to the girl looking at her with soft eyes. "no. stay here, have fun." you nudged her with a wink, laughing quietly when she flushed red. "i'll call you tomorrow for details." you promised before leaving.

when your dad pulled up, you could see the worry in his face, you could hear his unasked questions. "i don't want to talk about it." "i wasn't going to make you." understanding silence washed over you both as he drove you home. "i did have a feeling something was wrong, though, so i got you some ice cream on the drive back from dropping you off." he said after a few minutes. you smiled at him. "thanks, dad." he pulled into the driveway, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "anytime, kiddo."

it was well past midnight when a hurried knock came from your door, a bout of fear struck through you. you crept to the peephole and saw a disheveled cynthia looking at her feet. you opened the door. "what do you want? you could've woken my parents." she winced. "sorry. i just—" she let out a frustrated breath, fighting for her words. "i made the wrong choice." confusion spread across your face. "what?" "i was wrong. i lied. i'm sorry." she rushed out. "cynthia, what are you talking about?"

she started to pace back and forth at your doorstep. last week, when you kissed me, i told you i loved you—" "you didn't mean it like that, yeah i know." "no! no, i— i meant it. i meant it in that way, in the way nancy loves clothes and gil loves olivia." your palms grew sweaty. "then why'd you say it was a mistake? why did you go to the dance with shy guy?" she looked at you with a million apologies in her eyes. "i was scared. and i know that's not an excuse because you were too and i just left you, and i know i'll regret that for the rest of my life." she took a step closer and you let her.

"but right now all that matters to me is that you know that i love you. i love you more than i thought was even possible. i love the way you whisper me answers in math because you know i don't pay attention. i love the way your eyes kinda close when you laugh really hard. i love that i'm usually the one making you laugh. i love you for everything you are, and everything you aren't. for everything you've done, and everything you've yet to do. i love y—"

you cut cynthia off by grabbing her face and pulling her into a kiss, and in that moment, cynthia knew that this was what the poets wrote about. this was what drove artists made and carried people from war. this was what every sonnet and song was about. this was love. with your face in her hands and your lips pressed to hers, cynthia knew she would never need to make a choice again, because you were her definite, the one thing that would never change. cynthia knew you. she knew she'd never have to put up an act or pretend to be brave with you. she knew she'd never have to choose again. she pulled you impossibly closer as she smiled against you.

"i'm sorry." she panted when you pulled away to breathe, quickly chasing your lips again. "i'm so, so sorry." her desperation was clear in her broken words. "it's always g'nna be you. you're it for me."

you pulled away again, holding her face gently. "glad you finally realised." she laughed at your smile, moving to grasp your hands, holding them to her lips and pressing a light kiss to your knuckles. "i will spend forever making it up to you." you rolled your eyes.

"just kiss me again and we'll call it even." cynthia's face lit up and you swore you'd never seen her move so face as she gripped your waist and dragged you flush against her, swallowing your laughter with a kiss.

[vinyls-and-valentines]

Styxx' super quick droid headcanon hours- go!

droids are used for about any job they're needed for, from security to entertainment to childcare and so on. Despite their versatility, people still have jobs and can purchase assets in the form of buildings on the border of The Lobby and Silver District which is how they acquire their monetary gains. There is an equal number of droids working in the upper and middle class districts, although it is nanny droids that make up the majority of droids in the upper class district as opposed to the more diverse selection of droids working in the middle class district;

assistant droids are only available for purchase to upper class citizens who have assets in the Lobby and act as a combination between a personal assistant, an accountant and- more often than not- manager of the actual establishment they own. They are tasked to keep tabs on everything going on while their owners are away at their day job or at home with family or doing whatever and come to their owner's house every month with a breakdown of their earnings;

lab droids are meant to do the brunt of the work. They handle substances and are far more resilient than most other droid types, including security and combat droids. They run all tests as the scientists instruct them to, leaving the former only with the task of recording the outcome and notes on the subject, though some scientists prefer to run tests themselves which while not advised, is not prohibited either;

display and entertainment droids outside pornodroids are the most fragile models made by BL/i and often come pre-programmed with or without certain functionalities other droids have (for example, they cannot speak by their own volition, being entirely dependent on a bank of predefined sentences). The shortest lifespan of this kind of droid can range between 6 month and 2 years depending on care and warranty extensions;

security and combat droids are nearly identical save for the fact they have different levels of resilience, with the security droids being to withstand more blunt force damage before breaking. Combat droids are few and used exclusively at the Academy in the training of Scarecrow cadets, while security droids are usually sprinkled throughout the Lobby dressed in scarecrow uniforms and guard the tunnels leading in and out of Battery City;

childcare-oriented droids are the most resilient of all droid types and easily adaptable to new situations, coming programmed with protocols more akin to "reflexes" than anything. These droids are to raise children and to "keep them from straying onto the wrong path" even if it requires putting themselves between the child and any exit or immobilizing them until the troops dispatched by BL/i arrive at their place of residence;

assistant and childcare-oriented droids are primarily the only types of droids that have synthetic skin outside pornodroids and customized Constellations (a type of entertainment droid). The other models have painted plastic or, in the case of most security droids, exposed chrome;

lab, security and combat droids are the only droids that aren't stored in apartment buildings in the Lobby, but rather in a special floor of the Better Living Headquarters or one of the Academy's basement levels. Display droids do no require storage as they tend to enter a state similar to a computer's "sleep more" whenever they hold one of their predefined poses for roughly 30-40 seconds. They permanently reside behind the display windows of the Silicone District;

there are no droids working in the Better Living Industries Headquarters or Physical Archives except for the Director and her copies and lab droids. The Director has not created the Better Living Industries corporation, nor Battery City, but everything inside as it stands 6-7 years after the creation of the wall is her doing;

slightly unrelated to droids, but some of the only tasks not performed by humans or droids, but rather robots, are driving the sky trains that make up Battery City's primary means of transportation and assistants behind the counter of the droid support center in the Lobby.