#buuuut that didn't work for the story so here we are

[vivi-blue]

IT IS FINALLY DONE!

God, this took me way too long...xD

After days of work I finally finished the challenge that I set for myself: Sending out props to a lot of artist here on tumblr that I really enjoy! (Actually there are way waaay more people, but I really had to set myself a limit, I'm sorry fellas ;w; I still love you!)

These people inspire me every day with their creative concepts, stories, humor and passion for art and give me the drive to continue drawing myself. With this little collection I wanted to say "thank you" for all that you do and create. You rock, guys!

(I really hope I didn't mess up any of the tags and I apologize if I might fu**ed up your designs/characters ;3; I know I'm not the best in proportions and all, but I really tried. <w<´´ Also I really hope Tumblr compresses the text by itself, so that you don't get smacked by this wall of text. I'm still a rookie on tumblr, so I don't know what to do ;w;)

Okay, heeere we go! THE TAGS!

@tv-tower / @uuberwachen - with PB aka Swap Pizzahead (I really love the idea of the au and adore the character designs. PB sure is one of my favorites -w- He is literally the most reasonable of them all XD)

@technically-a-kiwi - with Cosmic Peppino ( The design of Cosmic Peppino is simply beautiful and the idea that this chef has strong star powers and needs to take care of Cosmic Noises shenanigans is super funny to me XD )

@sirtotallynotatimetraveler - with Mel Sproutbloom / Sagebloom (I'm sorry, I wasn't sure which name is canon ;w;) ( I loooove Mel! He is such a gentle, colorful guy and looking at him makes me all happy <3 )

@alextydaisuda123 - with their version of Vigilante ( I can't repeat enough how much I adore their artstyle. I love Vigi's design the most. I don't know it's just...THAT'S Vigi for me, you know? Simply fitting, cool, but also stylish -w- )

@alice-the-demon - with Vittoria ( I was first thinking of drawing Archangel Peppino, since this guy is the softness itself, buuuut I have to admit that I love the lively and passionate personality of Vittoria. She is great -w- )

@misdreavusplush - with Eyelashes ( I can't help it. I saw that character and was in awe. How adorable can you be?? I was barely able to draw her eyes as pretty as they are xD <3 )

@creature-of-pizza - with Pepp ( Seriously, the idea to see a "Fake Peppino" with more cat dna is such a win for me. He is dynamic, sassy, derpy and so damn cool! >w< Also love how colorful their pictures are.)

@eskariolis-con-salsa - with Gnocchi (I was thinking about drawing their version of Fake Peppino first, but...*looks at picture* ...let's be honest, you can't get pass that little guy. ;w; He purifies my soul. Have some soap, little guy.)

@oddpizza - with Caramel Jam aka CJ (Such a creative and powerful character! I've seen so many artworks of them and I adore them. You need more joyful people like this ^^)

@pizza-tower-secrets - with Lycheecheechee ( A small, adorable bundle full of surprises and of course secrets! I love their drive and colorful design. Simply a delight! :3 )

@rhaytronik - with Red ( A dynamic and enjoyable character with their love for adventures! Not only a great character but also the Pizzasona of my best friend. Thanks to them I was brave enough to start a tumblr account myself. So thank you for being there for me <3 )

@cutechan555 - with Mage Gustavo (To be honest, I had a very hard time to pick a character here, since their account is full of stories and ideas. I chose mage Gustavo, since I love his design and story. I'm currently into "Delicious in Dungeon" and to imagine that he goes dungeon crawling with his bros to safe Peppino is such a cool idea XD)

@bigbeastcyruspt - with Trion (I have to be honest, at first I was very startled of Trion, since his design is very mighty and scary. I mean, it's his chase form after all. But the more I learned about him, the more I grew to like him. Very damn cool design! Also couldn't help to add dah baby ;w;)

@lunar-dal - with Pizza Cruise Peppino (Another au I simply adore! The design of the characters is colorful and bright, and to imagine Peppino as a singing gondolier brings me great joy. Also I'm a big fan of otter Brick ;w; )

@smalltimidbean - with Pea Pod, Sugar Snap Pea and Snow Pea (Believe me, I never before had such a hard time to pick ONE of so many wonderful Peppi clones! THAT was torture XD But in the end I guess I picked my favorite. Such a tired, but very cute one. Not to forget about the little ones <3 To draw a PT character with 4 fingers and 2 thumbs on one hand was quite a challenge lol )

@tinderboxofsillyideas - with Coffee Peppino (Probably one of the most adorable au versions of Peppino. Seriously, if I had the chance to get my coffee in his café, I totally would! Give that guy all the tips! <3 First thought of drawing their wizard Peppino version, but the adorable barista won lol)

@xbeih - with Metal Peppino (One of the first au's I started following. Seriously, how cool can one person be?? I mean, the whole au is amazing and I enjoy every person in it. But damn...Peppino takes the cake. ówo He is so badass, you can't imagine <w< Also I'm very sorry, it was my first time drawing a guitar and aaaaaaa )

.....*looks left and right* ...ok, we did it. Wow!

God, I'm exhausted now...XD

Well, thank you very much for reading and sorry for the wall of text ówq I can only recommend you to check these people out. They are all very talented and should be appreciated!

Have a pleasant morning / day / evening / night everyone. (Depending your timezone lul .w. )

See ya next time! Vivi out!~

[maxdibert]

speaking of Snape's teaching style — I love our bitchy abusive boi, but also I kinda do have a cognitive dissonance here, because while saying he was mean to the students just in honor of his espionage cover is unrealistic, thinking that neither Snape nor Dumbledore considered this crucially important aspect reduces them to dunderheads with planning horizon of a goldfish

perhaps Sev's natural tendencies simply coincided with the needs of the order, but at least Snape had a good reason to encourage the worst parts of himself, with Albus' silent (or perhaps not so silent in Albus' way) approval. overall I don't like it when Snape is portrayed as a lupin-like cutie patootie teacher who would coddle kiddos if only he didn't have to show off in front of Lucius, buuuut when the war aspect is completely excluded from the discourse, it also feels off. for me especially the very first lesson, specifically that "taking points for not looking after Neville" part, seems rather artificial and random, unlike most further interactions, where Snape looks way more refined in his malice

(talking only about him being a meanie, not about his breakdowns or anything)

thoughts on the matter?

Alright, let’s break this down.

First of all, if Severus showed favoritism toward Draco, I don’t think it had anything to do with maintaining some kind of cover. I think he genuinely had a soft spot for the kid. Just like Severus hated Harry because he saw James in him, it’s not far-fetched to think he was partial to Draco because he saw Lucius in him—someone who always treated him well and spoke highly of him.

Severus isn’t a jerk to all of his students; he’s specifically a jerk to Gryffindors, and even more so to Harry and his friends. Because the story is told from their perspective, we think of him as this huge asshole, but honestly, we have no idea what people like Cho or Cedric (as Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs) thought of him, or even Luna. We know nothing about how he’s perceived by houses other than Gryffindor and Slytherin, which conveniently have a rivalry and also conveniently represent Severus’ unresolved traumas from his own school years.

Then there’s the fact that Severus isn’t a pleasant person, nor does he pretend to be. Being nice just isn’t part of his personality. He’s sarcastic, sassy, and sharp, and he loves making cutting remarks, either to hit someone where it hurts or simply to use his words like poisoned darts. He doesn’t need people to like him, and honestly, he doesn’t want people to like him—he makes zero effort to be agreeable. Clearly, he hates his job and is completely fed up, so no, it’s not an act. He’s just an asshole. And we love him for it because, honestly, the more of an asshole he is, the funnier he gets. He’s someone who knows how to use his words like blades in a way that’s clever and even entertaining—especially if you have a dark sense of humor. That whole “he’s keeping up appearances” thing? Maybe he did certain things to maintain his cover, but his attitude wasn’t part of that. His shitty personality is just who he is, and we love him for it, lol.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about the kids. The guy makes sure they don’t die or end up impaled somewhere, working overtime and risking his neck for them. And that’s one of the dualities I love about him: he clearly doesn’t want to do it, but he has a strong sense of responsibility. He hates those kids; they drive him up the wall, and he’d probably strangle them if he could—but not only does he not do that, he goes out of his way to make sure they survive the school year. To me, that matters more than being a lovable person like Lupin, who doesn’t take his damn potion and puts everyone in danger.

Severus is a bastard, but he’s a responsible bastard when it counts. And I think, as an adult, you gain perspective and realize, yeah, he was an absolute dick, but I’d leave my kids with him over Lupin any day. With Severus, sure, they’d leave his class crying, but at least they wouldn’t end up dead. He’s the lesser evil, lol.

[ghostradiodylan]

I subscribed to a Russian dataminer for cut content from The Quarry. You’re not supposed to share and I understand why and support paying people for their work! Buuuut I also understand why people might be hesitant to pay someone in Russia on a poorly translated website to access this stuff, so I’m gonna take my chances with potentially being banned because a couple of these things the Quarry fandom at large needs to see! Screenshots and discussion under the cut.

[you can subscribe or send tips here if you’re interested, they do have more SMG stuff including cut DPA content]

Thank you @insertlovelyperson for this!

These are somewhat Ryan and/or Dylan centric because I find them the most interesting, but they also had the most story-impacting cut content IMO.

RYAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO WARN DYLAN ABOUT THE WEREWOLF OUTSIDE THE RADIO HUT.

I know I’ve talked to a bunch of people about this. I know @andromaqves was one and I can’t remember who else but omfg, justice for Ryan!! I think they cut this because they made the werewolf more obvious than Justice's performance indicated but THAT MAKES IT WORSE. DO YOU NOT SEE HOW THAT MAKES IT WORSE YOU GUYS?!

Ryan also could have had the chance to actually get a shot off against Silas in the version of the radio hut scene where Dylan isn't bitten, and he'd think he had killed the werewolf.

Then as he's heading back to the radio hut, Dylan warns him that it's coming back and we get the rest of the scene as it plays out in the game.

I get why they cut this, because if they established for certain that regular bullets can't actually harm the werewolves, there's no stakes to Abi potentially shooting Nick, but it's a cool sequence, it's always good to see the boys work together, and it would have been AWESOME if Ryan could have been infected here instead of Dylan!

This exchange just made me laugh:

Kaitlyn to Ryan: you really look up to Mr. Hackett.

Ryan: Yeah, he’s always been nice to me.

Kaitlyn: Well, so have I!

Ryan: A few days ago I slipped on wet grass and ate shit and you laughed and shouted ‘Nice Walkin Christopher Walken' and everyone called me that for the rest of the day.

Kaitlyn: See, you get my best bits! 😂😂😂

Dylan reads Ryan the synopsis of a romance novel they find in Mr. H’s office that appears to be a thinly veiled reference to the bonfire love triangle. 😂

Ryan and Kaitlyn: actually showing care and concern for Dylan post-amputation instead of pretending it didn't happen.

Dylan, in shock but still an asshole: I'm fine, I’m doing better than Kaylee Hackett. 💀

Again, this is just funny and a great question from Emma.

Abi can not be into the kiss with Nick, presumably due to the no-longer-in-place relationship system. I'm betting if you didn't get their relationship stats up you would get this result.

Laura claims to Ryan that Chris Hackett drunkenly admitted that his family was KILLING PEOPLE who were investigating them, but there's nothing else to back that up in the datamine that I've found so far (not that I think she made it up lol, just that it would have been interesting if the Chris scene was cut to remove that too).

And the one my heart can't fucking take, Kaitlyn and Dylan on the way to the scrapyard variant where Ryan has kissed Kaitlyn at the bonfire and they actually talk about it because she asks Dylan if he's jealous of Laura getting to go off with Ryan. He says he's jealous but not of Laura...

"You're pretty awesome and I'm... just Dylan" 😭 😭 😭

And, "you guys seem like you've got a connection"?? Kaitlyn as Rylan shipper, confirmed. 💖

More details and discussion on the Discord @itscomingupaces made us: https://discord.com/invite/RHgdqBBXh7

[l8rs-gat0rs]

You got some time?

Pairing: Carol Danvers x AFAB Spider person!reader

Warning(s): smut ;) , flirty Carol, reader is also kinda a flirt, CAPTAIN KIIIINK, Carol using her powers in you in you, degradation, moderate fluff, Dom Carol is a warning itself.

Summary: The Captain's got some free time on her hands and so do you, you decide to have a night out because superheroes don't get many of those. As the night goes on, Carol decides time isn't the only thing she wants her hands on and you have the exact same idea.

Word count: 3.4k

I know, I know, I have requests to finish but my brain would not let me write them until I finished this one. I will get to the requests soon! I swear😔

Happy kinktober btw!!!! One of the best times of the year if I do say so myself😌 I obviously didn't participate in all 30 days bc I've tried in previous years, and it did not work out Haha, but here's at least one fic for Kinktober before it ends!

Side note for story purposes: I know a lot of people have their own spider personas with suits they made for them, which might I add, I've loved looking at all the artwork of! Buuuut, just so one or two of the scenes make sense, the reader's mask is kinda like Jessica drew's. The one in the comics, not across the spider verse just so we're clear. Like, the nose, mouth, and chin are open and the reader's hair is out from the top.

~~~~18+ MINORS DNI~~~~

You swung through the streets of Queens, smiling as you saw people point at you excitedly.

You were doing your evening rounds and all was looking quiet, thankfully.

You swung onto a rooftop and landed gracefully.

You had to say, you loved New York City. You grew up with the sounds of cars honking all night outside your window, you found it to be charming rather than annoying.

On top of all the warm memories and friends you made in the city, one of your favorite things in the world, nothing could beat the view of the sun setting behind all the buildings and skyscrapers from a rooftop.

"It never gets old does it?" You heard a woman's voice behind you.

You turned around as she landed, recognizing her voice.

"Carol" You smiled.

"Hey spider girl." She smiled at you, using one of your titles endearingly.

"Captain." You said right back.

If you weren't staring at her so intensely, you wouldn't have caught the slight falter in her confidence as she looked away, clearing her throat before looking back at you.

However, before you could comment on it she locked eyes with you once more and spoke.

"I'm kind of jealous you've had this view all your life." She spoke quietly, moving to stand next to you and gaze over the view you had previously been looking at.

You turned around and smiled.

"Yeah, well I bet nothing beats space." You smirked and nudged her with your elbow.

She chuckled, turning back to look at you.

"It's not all that, lots of emptiness and darkness if I'm being honest, and I miss the people."

She turned back to the sunset before continuing.

"I like this much better." She sighed.

The sun shone a beautiful golden light onto her face. As the wind blew through her hair, the sun made it shine even more golden than it already was.

"Yeah, me too." You said softly.

She turned to you and smiled, a faint blush reaching her cheeks as she realized what you meant.

"Ew you’re so cliché," she punched your arm lightly, causing you to laugh.

"So everything clear on your front?" She asked, turning to you.

"Yup, just finished my evening rounds. There's no sign of any supervillains, and I left a guy webbed to a pole for the cops. Surprisingly quiet other than that." You shrugged.

She chuckled causing you to smile at the sound.

"Well, it's all quiet on my end as well, sooooo...." She wiggled her eyebrows at you.

"Soooo?" You responded curiously.

"Come on! We finally both have some free time, let's do something together!" She exclaimed.

It was true, you usually didn't have free time, and when you did, Carol wasn't free.

After thinking about it for a minute, you agreed.

"Alright, what did you have in mind?" You smiled, causing her to jump in the air and clap.

"How abouuuut, we watch a movie?" She pitched after calming down.

"Hmm okay, what kind of movie?" You asked absentmindedly walking up the side of the water tower that was on the roof.

Carol lifted her head to watch you as she mused.

"What about a rom-com?" She asked with faux innocence.

You stopped in your tracks as you stood upside down from under the water tower.

You attached a web to the underside and slowly descended, still upside down, till you were in front of Carol, her eyes following you the whole way down.

"A rom-com you say?" You smirked.

"Yeah, why not?" She shrugged.

"What's with the smirk?"

"Nothing, nothing....So is this like...a date?" You swung lightly, your hair swaying with you.

"So rom-com equals date to you?" She smirked.

"No, but you specifically asking me to watch a rom-com with just you, feels like a date."

"Okay, then what if it was a date?" She shrugged.

"Then I wouldn't be mad" You smiled, still hanging upside down, but stopping your swaying.

"Then it's a date." She said, moving closer to you, while watching your lips.

"Isn't this a bit cliché?" You whispered with a playful smile, referencing her earlier comment.

"What, you want me to be upside down too?" She joked.

You laughed before stealthily turning yourself upright and landing on the floor, letting go of your web.

"I mean we haven't even been on the date yet, Danvers." You chuckled.

"Fair enough, I can wait." She said coolly.

"Who said I was kissing you at all tonight?" You shot back.

"I just have a feeling," she smirked before turning to walk away from the water tower.

You followed her, smiling at her confidence.

"You look good in the mask by the way." She added, not turning around.

Your face felt hot at her unexpected compliment.

"Th-Thanks" You cursed yourself for stuttering.

She looked over her shoulder and smirked at your response.

"No problem, so, I'll meet you at the theater on 37th avenue?" She asked, turning around to face you and slowly walking backwards.

"Yeah, sure." You confirmed.

"I'm gonna wear something nice tonight." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"Wow, the great Captain Marvel dressing up all for me!?" You gasped, over-exaggerating your reaction with your hand over your chest.

She stopped walking backwards.

"Not for you, it's just been a while since I dressed up." She rolled her eyes.

"Come onnnn, admit it! It's mostly for me." You smirked and crossed your arms as you finally stood in front of her.

"Well I'll admit one thing, you're special." She winked.

You felt your chest swell with warmth and you smiled like an idiot.

"Alright then, I'll dress up a bit too." You thought about what to wear.

"Oh? That sounds promising." Carol smirked before you saw her body start to glow with energy.

"See you soon?" She asked with a raised brow and she started to lift off the ground.

"See you soon, captain." You smiled and saluted her.

She smirked before flying off the opposite way of you.

"What. A. Woman." You sighed aloud to yourself with your hands on your hips before swinging towards your house.

When you get home you fretted over what to wear.

You didn't wanna go overboard, but it was a date, Carol also said she was dressing up...

You settled with a red button up, the first 2 buttons unbuttoned, tucked into black jeans with suspenders, topping it off with your favorite black chuck Taylors.

"Wow I look so gay." You chuckled to yourself.

You stepped outside your house and put your portable suit that Tony gave you in your pocket.

You didn't like wearing it that much, preferring the suit you designed yourself, but hey, when duty calls....

You got into the Uber you had ordered and gave the driver the address of the theater.

When you got there, you saw Carol already waiting outside, and boy did your jaw drop.

She was wearing a suit with a bow tie, her hair was in waves, and she topped it all off with shiny black dress shoes.

Her eyes lit up and she smiled when she saw you get out of the car.

"Jesus Christ Carol, I thought I was gonna be overdressed." You gaped at her.

She looked at you with a smirk.

"You look extremely good, trust me"

"And you look like you're going to a movie premier." You laughed.

"Hey, like I said, I don't get to dress up often. This was just hanging in my closet collecting dust." She gestured to her suit.

"Well in any case, you look absolutely stunning, Carol." You smiled at her, barely managing to keep your jaw shut as you glanced over her once again.

"Thank you, you as well. That outfit really...suits...you" She winked, giving you a nudge.

You rolled your eyes at her pun referring to her own outfit.

"God, you are so corny." You rolled your eyes playfully.

"Come on, you loved it." She laughed.

You cracked a smile.

"Okay yeah, it was cute." You laughed along with her.

"Oh, so you think I'm cute?" She smirked.

"Oh shut up! Lets just go buy the movie tickets before all the good seats are taken." Your face heated up, grabbing her arm and pulling her into the theater as she laughed, letting you drag her.

The two of you bought tickets to a rom-com that was currently playing in theaters.

People stared at the two of you, or maybe just Carol, but nobody had the guts to come up to either of you when they saw her hand around your waist.

You made your way into the theater with minimal distractions, the only one being a little girl saying hello to Carol and high fiving her.

You had smiled fondly at the cute interaction.

"I'm actually excited, I wanted to see this movie if I'm being honest." You explained excitedly.

"Well then, I'm glad we came." Carol said as you made your way to your seats.

The two of you had come in a bit late so the lights were dim and the trailers were playing.

When you sat down Carol immediately held your hand, causing heat to slap your face as you looked at your intertwined hands.

She smiled at you as you looked up to meet her eyes, which were already watching you.

"You're adorable you know?" Carol confessed to you in a hushed whisper.

"I could say the same thing about you." You smiled.

She smiled back, but before she could say anything else, the theater went dark and the movie began to play.

"Oh shit it's starting!" You whispered excitedly, moving your attention to the screen.

The two of you watched the movie mostly in silence, occasionally, you would feel Carol's thumb lightly brushing your hand, or you would make an energetic comment about whatever was happening in the movie.

You were secretly a movie buff, and Carol thoroughly enjoyed getting to see that side of you revealed.

When the movie ended, you filed out of the theater along with everyone else and it was dark outside.

You looked up at the moon, shining brightly through the clouds.

"We should do this more often." Carol broke the silence, bringing your attention back to her.

"What, go on dates?" You chuckled.

"I mean of course, but also, Just you and me, hanging out, no pressure, no crazy aliens coming after us, no big fights, or catching criminals. Just, having a good time. It's nice." She smiled.

Your heart warmed at the sincerity In her voice.

"Yeah, I'd like that too Carol." You grinned at her, stopping in your tracks and putting your hands in your pockets.

"And... I'd even go as far as to say I like you." You said softly as you smiled at the ground.

You looked back up at Carol and she had the biggest grin on her face and her cheeks were flushed.

You laughed loudly at her silent reaction.

"What?"

"I like you too." She simply said.

"I like you a lot." She moved closer toward you causing your heart to flutter.

"So what do you suppose we do about it, I mean, now that it's out in the air and all that." You nonchalantly waved your hands in the air.

She chuckled as she walked towards you until she had you backed up into an alleyway you hadn't even noticed you were by.

Before you could get a word out, she grabbed you by the arm and pushed up against the wall, kissing you passionately.

You practically melted into the kiss.

"Oh, I've been dreaming about that." Carol said breathlessly as she pulled away lightly.

You didn't say anything for a moment, your brain still processing what had just happened.

"Wanna come over?" You asked her quickly just as she was about to speak up.

She cocked and eyebrow and smirked.

"I'm down."

You practically dragged her down the street before hailing a taxi that was parked on the side of the road.

"Are you working?" You asked the driver through the window.

He nodded and you got in the car, Carol getting in after you.

"Someone's in a hurry." Carol smirked, putting her hand on your upper thigh.

Your head shot down to look at her hand as you saw it glow with energy, you felt it warm your skin through your jeans.

You looked at her, biting your lip to hold in a groan.

As soon as the Taxi stopped outside your apartment, you thanked the driver and got out of the car.

You walked to your apartment holding Carol's hand the whole time.

You pressed the elevator button and got in, thankfully no one else was in there.

There was a charged silence between the two of you as you watched the numbers on the elevator until Carol broke it.

"You want me to fuck you? Hard or soft? Fast or slow?" Carol said with a confident smirk.

Your eyes widened as you looked at her and she cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh shut the fuck up, Danvers." You grabbed her and smashed your lips against hers, moaning lightly.

You felt her smile against your lips before you heard the ding of the elevator, causing the two of you to quickly separate.

You speed walk to your door, ripping your keys out of your pocket, almost dropping your Stark spider suit before you shoved it into the keyhole and turned it, unlocking your door.

Carol pushes you inside and slams your back into the door to close it.

You let out a gasp as the motion winds you and Carol has an open lusty smile as her lips barely touch yours and she reaches next to you to lock the door.

After locking the door, Carol makes quick work of untucking and unbuttoning your shirt, feeling up your body.

She lets out a little excited sound as she watches you react to her touch.

"I know it was only our first date and kiss today but, I would like your permission to absolutely ruin you tonight." Carol asks, looking into your dazed eyes.

You nod without hesitation.

"Do anything you want to me, Captain." You groan.

You watch as her eyes get wild and a lustful expression graces her face.

Carol attaches her lips to your neck and immediately starts marking you. You feel her moan against your skin as she sucks on it.

Your moans fill the space of your apartment even more as she squeezes your chest underneath the sports bra while she works on your neck.

Once she is satisfied with her work, she plays with your hardened nipples as she whispers hotly into your neck, her warm breath contrarily leaving goosebumps on your skin.

"You're so pretty like this baby." She moves her thigh in between yours and pushes you down onto it.

You gasp out as you start moving your hips against her muscular thigh.

"Mmm that's it, just like that baby."

You watch as she pulls back and holds you up against the wall as she watches your hips working her thigh with her mouth hanging open.

You slip your hand into her pants and she lets out a moan when you start rubbing tight circles on her clit.

Carol closes her eyes in pleasure and moans loudly as you slip your fingers into her already soaking wet core, moving your hips fast against her thigh as she jerks her hips against your fingers.

Before the two of you get too lost in the pleasure Carol halts her movements, as well as yours. Before you open your mouth to protest, she looks you in the eyes and you see that they've darkened, her pupils blown out.

"As much as I'd like both of us to cum right here, right now, we should take this to the bedroom." She chuckles breathily as she pants.

"Mmmm, a modest lady huh?" You smirk as she helps you stand up straight again before you lead her to your bedroom.

"Hey, it's our first time, I want it to be amazing." She holds your hand.

You look at her and smile as you lead her into your bedroom, your heart feeling warm from her revelation.

"Me too," you nod.

"But I also need you to fuck me like... really bad." You add.

"I can absolutely do that " Carol smirks as both of you start to remove your shirts.

"Tell me how bad you want it." Carol whispered in your ear.

"Fuck, I want it so bad..." You groaned, your forehead falling against her neck as you breathed heavily.

Carol pushed you till the back of your knees hit the bed and you sat down, looking up at her.

"Fuck, those eyes... tell me princess, you want my fingers in you?" She asked, cocking her head as she slowly got down on her knees in front of you.

"God yes, I want your fingers-"

Before you could even finish your sentence, Carol had pulled your pants down and moved your underwear to the side, shoving two of her long fingers into you.

You gasped, your mouth hanging open while you stared at her with furrowed brows.

"I already knew the answer." She smirked.

"God, could you just shut up and-"

She pushed her fingers in deeper, all the way to her knuckles and you let out a choked moan.

"hmm? What was that baby?" She held her smirk, still standing on her knees.

You laid down, your back hitting the bed roughly as you slid down a little, pushing your core closer to her.

"F-fuck you.." You gasped as she pulled her fingers out and pushed them all the way back in, reveling in the wet sounds.

"Shit, I could listen to your pretty pussy all day. You'd like that wouldn't you? Me fucking you all day?" She cooed.

You nodded aggressively, panting as the pace of her fingers started to quicken.

"Yeah? Oh I know, you love being fingered like a slut huh?" Carol started to pant.

You don't know what came over you but you moaned loudly,

"C-captain!"

Carol's eyes went wild and you felt warmth and a little buzz inside you.

You gasped out,

"Holy fuck!!" Your legs felt like they were going numb.

"Call me that again." She growled lowly, the pace of her fingers quickening.

You looked down at her and saw her hand glowing, before letting your head fall back and arching your back.

"Captain, fuck... don't stop." You moaned loudly.

"That's right, let your captain know how good she's making you feel. I can feel your slutty pussy practically sucking my fingers in." She moaned.

And she was right, you could feel yourself clenching around her fingers tightly as you rapidly approached your high.

"Yeah, oh god, I'm- you're gonna make me cum, Captain... Please... It feels so good, you make me feel so good...Please make me cum." You moaned in between pants.

"As you wish, princess." She smirked, her fingers combined with the warmth of her inside you sending you over the edge.

Carol continued thrusting her fingers deep inside you, watching your face as you writhed in pleasure, your back arching off the sheets once again as you grabbed the sheets tightly and moaned loudly with your eyes shut tight.

When it was too much to bare due to the sensitivity, you pushed at Carol's hand and she obediently pulled her fingers out.

You watched as her hand stopped glowing and watched her hungry eyes as she panted while examining her fingers coated in your juices.

She brought her fingers to her mouth and stuck her tongue out a little, barely putting her fingers in her mouth.

Once her fingers touched her tongue you watched with furrowed brows and your mouth hanging open as she moaned loudly, closing her eyes and sticking her fingers all the way Into her mouth.

She swirled her tongue around her fingers for a couple of seconds before pulling her fingers out of her mouth with a pop and meeting your eyes.

"Baby, you taste fucking amazing." She breathed out.

You groaned and let your head fall back on to the bed as your breathing started to fall down.

You felt the bed dip next to you and you turned your head, meeting Carol's warm gaze.

"How was that for our first time?" She smirked.

"I think it could've been better." You shrugged jokingly.

"Oh? Well, I guess that means it's time for round two."

[dyaz-stories]

Welp, since you gave the go sign, when and how did you start shipping Kagome and Gojo? And what inspired you to make your story?

Loool I'm glad to answer that, it's a very funny story to me actually.

Because when I started shipping them, I wasn't even in the JJK fandom. Like I hadn't read the manga and I hadn't seen the anime. I had one friend who was involved in the fandom and who'd talk to me about it, and I think I'd started seeing edits on TikTok. So I knew about Gojo's Vibe™ and I had a pretty clear, if not really defined, idea for the kind of person he was.

And yeah I was just lying in bed scrolling when I started to think about how Kagome is kinda THE character for crossovers and suddenly I had to get up and start pacing because I had the Vision of Kagome/Gojo and I was like oh wow oh wow oh wow. So as you do I looked them up on Tumblr and Ao3 and was delighted to find some stuff, and decided This Is My Ship Now.

(this is one of my favorite posts for the ship it's absolutely excellent)

So it was love at first sight for me, basically. I think there was something about the idea that Kagome could get through all of Gojo's barriers, literally and figuratively, that really spoke to me. Also, the fact that they're so similar in their roles and yet so different? Chef's kiss. Match made in heaven.

As for what inspired me for the alchemy, it's kinda convoluted. It wasn't the fic I'd planned on writing, and I actually had ideas for two other fics, one of which I'd started working on. I can talk about it in more detail elsewhere if you're interested or want a quick rundown, but the problem I ran into was that they required heavy plotting, and I was in the middle of a time-consuming internship without having read JJK at that point, so I couldn't devote my time and energy to that.

I still wanted to write though, so a low-effort, low-plot fic would have been fine. I came up with the idea for the alchemy in a roundabout way though. Shibuya is the focal point of the manga for me, so it came up a lot when I was thinking about fics.

But when I came up with the starting point for the alchemy, I was thinking about writing a Nanami/Kagome one-shot. Basically they're together without knowing of each other's powers, until Shibuya happens and Kagome, worried for her boyfriend, ventures in. Obviously, she saves him (either from Mahito or by busting everyone out of Dagon's domain expansion).

The problem was that after that, she'd, again, obviously, go on to unseal Gojo. And then we ran into an issue, which was that I realized that the moment she met Gojo, it'd be over for her and Nanami.

Now that is just in my mind and everyone is free to feel and write about them however they want lol. But for me, I realized that the instant, mutual fascination between Gojo and Kagome would be so strong and so intense that they would just gravitate towards each other. Kagome wouldn't necessarily realize what was happening right away, but Nanami would. It would just have been sad, and not what I wanted to write.

(I could come up with another Nanami/Kagome story where that wouldn't be an issue mayyyybe but in those circumstances, there just wasn't a way out for them I'm afraid)

(actually it is angst I could get behind, but at that point I didn't want to write it) (no actual cheating involved, but Kagome would fall in love with Gojo while still with Nanami, and he wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it from happening despite knowing it's happening and seeing it unfold) (he'd think he should leave her but wouldn't be able to bring himself to do it and eventually she'd be the one to go) (I think Gojo would never make the first move in those circumstances)

Buuuut the idea of Kagome coming in the Jujutsu world via Shibuya did stick with me. It started out as just a one-shot, ending where chapter one ends basically, and then I got attached, which I should have seen coming tbh, and now here we are lol.

[crusty-chronicles]

The Moon and Sun (Gon/Killua x Big Sib Reader)

Decisions: Alternate Ending

An: The alternative choice to the cannon path in our story. The only reason I didn't have Y/n stay behind is because there would be a lot less story and character bonding moments between them and the boys. Like most of the Chimera Ant arc would've been skipped over and what I have in store for the Chairman Arc wouldn't fit with this path. Buuuut- I do love my angst so here you go 🫴

-----------------------------------

Your eyes widened at the angry spike of Aura from Gon. The power radiating off was a shock to your system. Immediately snapping you out of your shock. Yet you could only watch in horror as that thing turned around with a grin.

No.

Not again.

YOU WERE NOT GOING TO LOSE ANOTHER KID

In an instant you were up and out of Kite's arms. Staggering harshly from the wound on your side. You quickly clasped your hands together, forcing every ounce of nen you had into them.

A mass of nen strings wrapped tightly around the ant. It's malicious aura lashing out. Trying desperately to overpower yours.

And it was working.

"RUN! HURRY! I CAN'T HOLD THEM FOR MUCH LONGER!" Your voice nothing more than a rasp. Straining painfully with the damage done to it.

"NO! WE'RE NOT JUST GOING TO LEAVE YOU!" Gon protested.

His own furious aura not helping you focus. Your strength was fading by the second. If you slipped up now, you were all dead.

It also didn't help to feel the hesitance from all three of them. As if trying to come up with a way no one would be left behind. But that simply wasn't possible.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the ant releasing even more of its aura. Turning around with a bit of effort against your hold. It met your eyes with a childlike glee.

"I can already tell...This is going to be fun."

You could feel your heart pounding against your ribcage in fear.

Those eyes, they had nothing but bloodlust behind them. So empty and cruel.

"GOD DAMNIT! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Kite looked over to the boys then back to you. You would not be able to beat this thing. Maybe if you hadn't been injured you would've stood a chance. If he had been able to see its first attack coming. You were no match for it now.

He prepared to summon Crazy Slots, but a burning sensation consumed his wrist. Your promise. He was supposed to get the boys out of here if you fought. Or else he'd lose his nen.

But he couldn't just leave you when he knew you'd die. Not after everything. Those kids were strong enough to make it out of here if he stayed.

No.

He would just be dead weight without his nen. Nothing but a burden to you in this fight. No matter how badly he wanted to believe the opposite.

You were making a sacrifice, and he had to honor it. He just hoped you would be able to find a way to escape.

With that, he darted forward and tossed the boys over his shoulders. Setting a fast pace just as the ant broke free.

"HEY! LET US GO! WE HAVE TO GO BACK!" Killua shouted, trying to wriggle his way out of Kite's grasp.

"TURN AROUND! WE CAN'T LEAVE THEM WITH THAT THING!" Gon screamed, pounding on his back this time.

But he didn't listen to either of their cries. He couldn't afford to. If he did, then none of you were going to make it out of here. And as the Ant's aura spiked to an overwhelming peak, he pushed himself to run faster.

Kite wasn't nearly as fast as you, but it would have to do for now. At the rate he was going, they'd reach the border by daylight.

He could feel your nen at last vanish from his wrist. The conditions had been met. It was you who had stayed behind after all.

-----------------

When you'd first summoned your nen, Pitou was intrigued. So far, they hadn't met anybody else who possessed the ability to do so. You were a Rare. Maybe the humans with you were Rares too? The possibility made it all the more exciting.

When you broke a tree in half and used it to swing at them, they were thrilled. They didn't know humans had the strength to do that. And when it actually hit them, Pitou found themselves temporarily winded. Another first with you.

But when daylight broke and you collapsed mid attack, they were disappointed. Sure you'd been getting weaker the more you fought, but they assumed your stamina was running out.

This wasn't stamina.

It had to do with the gashes on your side.

How sad. You'd bled out before they got a chance to beat you.

"Hmmm. Seems my new toy is broken. What a shame, I was really having fun." They mumbled to themselves.

Pitou approached your limp body and pulled you up by the scalp. Staring into your now dull eyes with a frown.

"I wanna do it again. I wanna experience that dream like moment again. Where you were my equal, and you made me question if I was gonna win. I want that again."

They let go and watched as your skull slammed against the ground.

"But you're already dying. No, you might already be dead. It's no fair." They whined.

They continued to stare down at you, wondering what to do with your limp body. The last of your red blood leaving your corpse. Then an idea struck Pitou.

"Yes, I think I'll do just that." They mumbled before dragging your body away by the arm.

----------------

"WHY WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE THEM!!! YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT A FIGHTER!!! YOU KNEW THEY WERE STRUGGLING ENOUGH AS IT WAS!!! SO WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU BASTARD!!!!"

Gon had to hold Killua back from lunging at the silver haired hunter. The anger was something Kite had been expecting. These two loved you dearly, so to leave you behind wounded...He didn't blame Killua for being upset.

And although he wanted to provide the boys with a bit of comfort, he wasn't you. He wasn't a nurturing person. Never had been. The same words coming from you would be blunt and cold coming from him.

But he had to try.

He promised you.

Whereas Killua was furious, Gon was frustrated. He didn't care if this was for their own good. You were injured, and that thing was still there with you. You all should've fought together or die trying to take that ant down.

He said he wouldn't leave anyone behind, and he had failed. He said he wouldn't leave you behind. A feeling of guilt starting to weigh on his shoulders.

"We have to go back for them. You don't leave your friends behind to die. We have to go back." Although you weren't a friend. You were the protector. Family.

Kite couldn't help but notice the way Gon spoke just like you. 'You don't leave your friends to die if you know you can save them.' It was bittersweet in a way.

If Kite hadn't given you pushback that day, maybe things would have turned out different. Maybe he would've been able to stay behind and help you defeat that ant.

But it was too late to change the past.

He could only move forward. He didn't need the boys to like him, but he needed them to understand.

"When you make a promise to your friend, you keep it. We agreed that if you two were in danger, someone would stay behind to make sure you got out okay. And I'm sorry, I really am, that it was Y/n who chose to bear that responsibility."

You'd chosen to fight.

But it seems his explanation wasn't enough for them.

"Liar! They would never just leave us! If you're a coward, then fine! But me and Gon are going back!" Killua pushed past him, anger radiating in waves.

Kite had tried talking to them like kids, like you. Now it was time to talk to them like adults.

"If you go back there right now, you'd be making a selfish decision. They gave up their life for yours, and you wanna waste their sacrifice for your own piece of mind. You'd only end up getting yourselves killed for nothing."

And once again, his words had gone in one ear and out the other.

"They're not dead. Y/n wouldn't die that easily. So don't you ever say that again." Gon warned.

It was like talking to brick walls. But he couldn't really blame them for being in denial. A part of him believed you'd be fine, too. A hope that somehow you'd stumble your way out of the NGL.

For now, he needed contact his team as well as the association. If he was lucky, an extermination team was already on the way.

-------------------

The amateur hunters were beyond believed to see Kite standing before them. He was okay. And as the seven of them reunited, they couldn't help but feel eyes on them.

The boys.

And their expressions looked almost sad.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why. You weren't there. You hadn't come back from inside the NGL. They weren't as fortunate to have their mentor standing before them.

But before any of them could offer words of comfort, one of the three hunters with them decided to speak.

"What the hell is this? Family outing gone wrong?" The one with sunglasses taunted.

The two boys glared him down, silently daring him to say it again. Kite could only offer a drained sigh. Already dreading the conversation to come.

"We were ambushed by one of the queen's royal guards. It had already learned how to use nen. Judging by the power it demonstrated, I'd say it's about as strong as a zodiac." He explained.

The hunter with sunglasses only scowled. But before he could throw in another sarcastic remark, the one in the suit took over.

"People overrate things that they can't understand. And that is a perfectly natural response."

These men were irksome. Already full of themselves despite not even seeing the ant face to face. But if they were the best the association had at the moment, Kite would just have to put up with them.

However, he was surprised when Killua of all people defended him.

"Overrate? You wanna tell that to our big sibling who could hardly hold them back!!!! You wouldn't even last five seconds with that ant, so shut up!" He snapped.

"So you left them behind to fend for themselves like cowards? Just ran away with your tail between your legs? And you call yourselves nen users." The one with sunglasses chastised.

This wasn't good. They were getting nowhere by arguing amongst themselves.

"It wasn't my choice to run away, and the reason why is none of your concern. Our friend is still back there. Their life is more important than petty squabbling. Destroying the nest is more important than standing around yelling about who's right and wrong." Kite scolded.

Today had already been enough without everyone at each other's throats. A level head was needed. It'd be so much easier if Netero stepped in and kept the two hunters in line.

Luckily, they finally seemed to get a grasp of the situation without their ego.

"Fine. Anything we should know about your friend when we find them?" Morel grumbled.

It was a start.

"They were wounded badly before the fight even began, so if they're alive give them immediate medical treatment."

"And if they're dead?"

However horrible it was, all possibilities needed to be considered. There was a high likelihood you didn't make it. It was wise to be realistic instead of hopeful.

".... Bring back the remains for a proper burial.."

But the mention of you being dead had quickly caught Gon's attention.

"They're not dead." His tone was final.

Like he truly believed you'd be okay. And if the opposite happened to be true, then he'd surely break.

"Now that kid's got spirit." Morel praised.

"Their name is Y/n and they've been injured really badly. They've got three gashes on their side, so please find them and bring them back safe."

There was nothing else he or Killua could do. Out of respect for your wishes. Even if it looked like they weren't listening before.

They had.

But they were still hurt.

--------------

Netero's explanation was simple: in order to enter the NGL, the boys would need to get the other halves of their game pieces. They had exactly one month to do so.

The air became tense once the extermination team left. With Gon and Killua standing away from Kite's team. He knew he wasn't on the best of terms with them anymore, but you left their care in his hands. He owed it to you.

So he had no other choice but to stay with them for that month. Maybe longer depending on if you were found. Well, he did have a choice, but it didn't feel right to leave them by themselves.

To navigate this grief alone.

"We'll see you in a month for sure?" Spin questioned.

"Preferably, but it just depends. I'll need you all to keep researching the Chimera Ants in the meantime. Find out everything you can about them. Especially how long it takes the king to hatch after a royal guard has been born. Can you handle that?"

"You can count on us. Be safe, Kite." Banana assured.

"I will."

Now the hard part would truly begin.

He could already feel the hostility radiate from Killua as he approached. And just when he was starting to warm up to him. But it was a valid response.

They were still just kids, after all.

"What do you want? Shouldn't you be leaving with your team, or do you just wanna rub it in our faces more?"

He had your temper, that's for sure.

And he knew the best way to get around it was to have patience. It would be the only way they were going to survive the month.

"I promised Y/n I would take care of you in their place. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. You can be upset, but that doesn't change the fact you need training." It came out harsher than Kite intended it to.

"We don't need your help. I sure as hell don't want it." Killua spat out.

Yet as he realized his choice of words, he froze.

'Language!'

It was like he could hear you. Your scolding. Damnit. He knew you wouldn't have wanted him to be mad at Kite. No, you liked him too much for that. You probably would have said something about focusing on the future, instead of what was in the past.

But he was just too mad to care.

He took a few steps before he was pulled back. He turned around with a scowl. But it was Gon who stopped him.

"Killua, we're not strong enough to do this by ourselves. We can't afford to be stubborn right now. And Y/n chose Kite. They trust him, so you gotta too. Do you think they'd be happy with you being mean to someone they cared about?"

No, no you would not be happy.

It was frustrating.

Killua wanted to hate Kite for leaving you behind, but he just couldn't. He was mad at himself for freezing up. For being too weak in the first place to help.

He knew it wasn't the silver haired hunter's fault, not entirely. For you. He was gonna give him a chance for you.

"Fine, but mess up one time, and you're out." He warned, making sure to point at Kite.

And that was enough. He didn't need the boys to love him the way they did you. Their trust would be enough to get through this.

It was a proper start.

—----------------

The first few days had been awkward. Trying to settle in as well as cope with your absence. The small home they occupied was quiet. Kite not wanting to press any boundaries yet.

He'd give the boys time to recover mentally before moving forward.

They seemed to be feeling better on the fourth day. Opting to search for clues on Morel's pupils instead of sitting in silence. 

They'd run into a woman named Palm that day. Turns out she was the other hunter's pupil: Knov. Her objective was the same as theirs. And even though she was on their side, there was something off putting about her. 

Especially as she absentmindedly continued adding sugar to her coffee while talking.

All three of them silently agreed you would've disliked her. Something foreboding radiating off.

"And I thought Y/n liked sweet things." Gon noted once she left.

"Yeah, she was just eating wet sugar at that point." Killua agreed with a shiver.

The mood had significantly lightened. Conversation flowing easier now that they had something to distract them.

"You know it's not nice to judge a book by its cover." Kite lightly scolded. 

A quirk of the brow from Killua let him know it didn't come out as blunt this time.

"Yeah? Well I am, and the cover's screaming 'Weird Lady Who'll Probably Kill Us In Our Sleep!'"

He had to disguise his laugh with a cough. Gon other hand, was cackling along with the other one. It was the first time they smiled in days. Things wouldn't be as tense now.

They made their way back 'home' after paying for their meals. Well, Kite had payed for them after much protest from the duo. 

"You can't buy my affection, I'm already rich." Killua pouted.

"Yeah, we can afford it so don't worry," Gon agreed.

"Then you'll get the next one. Think of it as a way of making amends."

It was a plausible explanation, but not the full truth. It was just a habit to take care of those around him. It'd become one after looking after the amateur hunters for so long. He didn't mind it.

It wasn't expected of him, but he preferred to either way.

He stopped abruptly in front of the door. Sensing a dark presence inside. Perhaps an ambush from Morel's pupils.

"Something wrong?" Gon asked.

"There's someone inside." Kite warned. 

"What do you mean there's someone inside? Are we being robbed or do you think it's…" Killua started.

"I can't say for certain, but keep your guard up."

But before any of them could move, the door quickly swung open.

"AHHH! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR HOUSE!" Gon screamed, now hiding behind the taller male.

"I thought it would be better if we stayed together. We'd have a better chance of killing Morel's pupils this way." Palm explained.

"So you just broke in!?!" Killua accused.

"You weren't here, so I decided to let myself in."

Alarm bells were ringing. She really thought what she did was justified. 

"Hey, substitute sibling, do something about the scary lady." Killua whispered, tugging on the sleeve of Kite's shirt.

Now the Y/n response would have been to tell her off and send her away. You always did have a knack for getting people to listen to you when you were mad.

However, Kite wasn't confrontational by nature. He wasn't a fan of the effort it took to argue. And at this point, it might've been a good idea to take all the help they could get. Still, it was wise to be cautious around Palm.

"You'll be staying with us for the month?" He asked.

"But of course, we are teammates after all. Though I have to warn you, I might not be so pleasant by the end of the month. You are positive they'll be able to kill Morel's pupils, right?" 

He didn't like the way her aura darkened. This woman was unstable. No wonder her mentor left her behind.

"Just don't get in the way and they'll be fine."

The boys spared him nervous glances, not exactly thrilled to be sharing a space with Palm. The more on edge they were, the harder it'd be to get them to focus on training. 

The objective just became even more difficult.

—----------------------

The first week of training had gone about as well as Kite thought it would. The boys had potential, they just needed the experience to go with it. Challenging them to a fight only further proved it.

Gon was too reckless, relying too much on his Jan-Ken instead of focusing on his surroundings. The amount of time it took to charge up left him wide open for attacks. It also used a lot of nen to start up. Energy he could've been using for other attacks.

Killua, on the other hand, was too cautious. Hesitating everytime he made a move to strike. Staying purely on the offense to try and read Kite's movements. But it wouldn't make a difference if he kept to the sidelines. Waiting for an opening instead of making one. 

There was a lot of work to be done if they even had a hope of beating Morel's pupils. But it wasn't just their strength they needed to work on. It was also their minds. They were too distracted. Auras weighed down by grief.

They missed you, but they wouldn't get anywhere by worrying about 'what if's.'

The second week had been a bit easier, with both boys making corrections to the way they fought. However, there was still something a bit off with the small assassin. 

While he was getting faster, he was still incredibly hesitant. Going in for a hit and backing away last second. It was during one of 'these attacks' that Kite noticed something.

There was a malicious aura near his forehead. Something dark with a feeling of bloodlust. Was there something planted inside of his head? Who would do something so cruel to a kid?

"Time out!" He called, making sure to unsummon his Crazy Slots.

"What? Did you hurt your hip or something, old man?" Killua teased. 

It was one of the many remarks Kite chose to ignore. Though this one was in more good faith than the previous ones. He gestured to the center of Killua's forehead.

"There's something there. Did your family put a tracker on you by any chance?" Because that was the only plausible explanation for what it could be. It was the only thing Kite could fathom being the reason.

But as Killua's face dropped and he started frantically scratching at his head, he realized it was much more than that. 

Fingers digging into flesh as a needle was slowly pulled out. His first instinct was to try and patch up the new wound. His second was to ask just what the hell that was. What did it do?

"Damn, he really got me," Killua mumbled.

"Don't tell me that's Illumi's?" Gon asked, eyeing the bloodied needle.

"It is. That's why I haven't been able to fight properly. I kept hearing his voice telling me to run away." 

So he knew the person that did this. Kite didn't know if that made it better or worse.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is Illumi?" He questioned.

"My big brother. Y/n would have hated him."

Definitely worse. What kind of monster would implant a needle into their little sibling's head? And why was Killua acting like it was normal? What other cruel things had he gone through to be this desensitized?

Maybe he understood your protectiveness a bit more.

"Hey, don't tell them about this when they get back, okay? I don't wanna stress them out." Killua added.

It was always a matter of 'when' with you. Not 'if.' Because for whatever reason, they refused to consider the possibility of you dying. And maybe Kite started to believe it too. It made things a little easier to pretend you were still okay.

It made moving forward easier.

And unbeknownst to him, that was the moment Killua gave him his full trust. No longer bitter towards him for leaving you. He was finally able to accept that it was your decision to stay. That Kite would be a good match for you.

He already put up with all of his tantrums, after all. Giving nothing but patience. And Killua appreciated it.

He already knew Gon forgave him long ago. How even though he was upset, was still grateful Kite stuck around.

He may not have been you, but he was doing a great job so far.

Kite had called it a day, telling the boys to get cleaned up before dinner. Although he wasn't too fond of Palm's presence, he was thankful she offered to make them food after training. His thoughts couldn't help but drift to you now that he was alone.

Did you ever cook?

It was embarrassing to think about you that way. Your affection for each other was mutual, but it didn't have a chance to go any further than that. So why? Why was he starting to wonder what it would be like to have you as a partner? To be able to explore these feelings.

It was best to push those thoughts down for now. Not to get his hopes up.

He hardly noticed when Plam approached him, her voice slightly startling the silver haired hunter.

"I do hope I'm not rude for saying this, but I'll let you decide how to train them." She started.

"However, if after a month we determine it would be impossible for them to defeat Morel's pupils, I sincerely doubt that I would be able to restrain myself."

At that Kite tensed up. Sensing her aura get darker by the second.

"What do you mean by that?" He was a bit worried about her answer. Especially since she'd given the same warning at the start of the boys' training.

"I must go to the NGL. I want to go right now in fact. If I'm forced to wait and wait and wait and then I don't get to go...Then I may end up killing you all." 

He quickly unleashed a protective aura.

"You won't lay a hand on those boys." Up until this point, he thought Killua's joke was just that. An exaggeration. He didn't really think Palm would act out on violent intentions.

But that was proven to be wrong. If she tried anything, he wouldn't hesitate to put a stop to it. Their safety was priority number one. 

No matter what, nothing would happen to those boys.

"I don't want to hurt them, which is why they should give up sooner rather than later. My rage won't be as bad as it would be then." Palm explained.

"They'll win, and even if they don't, you won't do a thing to them. Not on my watch." He sent her a small glare, singling the end of the conversation.

Palm didn't push any further.

Dinner was an experience that night. It started off with an innocent request from Gon that soon turned into chaos.

"Hey Kite. When we get Y/n back, is it okay with you if we spend the first day with them?" He looked a little embarrassed to be asking.

It made sense. The boys missed you like crazy. Who was he to deny them of catching up with you? Still it was odd Gon was asking for his permission.

"I don't see why not…Why do you ask?"

Nothing could have prepared him for his next choice of words.

"Well, I know you two really care about each other. And Y/n really likes being around you. So I wanted to make sure we'd get to spend a little time with them, too."

Kite sputtered over a response, not expecting the boys to have been so observant of your actions.

"Look, we're not even-" But Killua cut him off with mischief littering his aura.

"That reminds me! We gotta set some ground rules if you're gonna be dating our big sibling."

Kite's face went even redder. The last thing he wanted was to discuss your relationship with a bunch of kids. And you weren't even dating! 

"Please don't."

But did they listen to his plea? No. 

"No kissing or hand holding. None. I'll bite you if I see it."

"And no flirting with other women or men! If you make them sad I'll bite you." Gon added.

There had to be a way out of this conversation.

"I think my team's calling me." He tried to get up and leave, but was once again stopped by the sound of Killua's voice.

"Hey! We're not done talking to you! No stealing them away from us when we wanna spend time with them! You'll have to go somewhere else!"

Yeah maybe he understood why you called them demons so much. They were a bit more lively than he was used to handling. More persistent too.

But he couldn't deny enjoying their company.

He could see why you cherished your little family so much. 

"Dad! Don't leave!" Gon whined before slapping a hand to his mouth. 

Oops. He hadn't meant to say that. It was an honest accident. But Kite really was the closest thing he ever had to a father. He felt it more than ever this past month with the way Kite was taking care of them. 

Stern, yet caring.

Very different from the way you treated them, yet very similar. So while he hadn't meant to call him that, a small part of him felt that way.

Yet Killua's immediate teasing didn't help ease his embarrassment.

"You gonna stop looking for Ging now?"

He'd just barley missed the way Kite's eyes softened at the word.

---------------

They'd won.

They'd actually won and defeated Knuckle and Shoot. Both boys being completely exhausted from the ordeal. But they'd be damned if they weren't the ones to go into the NGL and get you back.

Seems even Netero was surprised by outcome.

Nevertheless, a deal was a deal.

By morning, Kite and the boys, along with Palm, were on their way back to the entrance. Meeting up with the rest of the extermination team before heading towards the nest.

The floors were empty, the ants having already evacuated. The King must've already hatched. They were too late to stop his birth. 

The various 'rooms' in the nest were vacant. Except one, which caught the attention of the boy in green.

"Guys!" He called out. 

The others entered the room, disgust quickly overtaking their expressions.

In that room must've been hundreds of giant meatballs. To the side of them were mountains of clothing and various accessories. Meaning those things…They were made of humans.

Killua picked one of the balls of meat up, inspecting it with a frown on his face. These poor people.

Gon approached the pile of clothes and froze. He picked up one singular article of clothing, catching Kite and Killua's attention.

This was your shirt. The one you'd been wearing throughout the expedition into the NGL. Soaked through with blood. And was that-

Your shoe.

Just one. Because you had thrown off the other one when you crushed that ant's skull. 

But surely it was just a coincidence. And they would've believed that had Kite not picked up what looked like his hat.

The one he gave you when you'd gotten upset with him that night. 

You'd been here.

"Y/n??" Gon cried in disbelief.

"Oh god, no please! Y/n!" Killua shouted, grasping desperately at Gon for support.

Was one of these balls of human flesh you?

Just like that you'd been killed and fed to the queen? Leaving not even your body for them to find. Just the remains of your clothes. 

And what about if you were still in this room? What could they do if they didn't even know which one was you?

All this time fighting.

All this time spent getting stronger.

And what was it all for if you were already dead?

"I'm so sorry boys." It was the only thing Kite could think of to say. Too shocked to properly give them any comfort. Because he'd believed you were alive too.

He figured if you died, there would at least be remains to bring back. Or maybe it would have been better if they found nothing at all. Because this...

Seeing what the ants did to humans to prepare them for the queen's consumption.... Horrific was the only way to describe it. 

This was your fate.

He should have stayed.

He should have gotten you out of there.

He should have tried to fight with you.

You didn't deserve this.

And the ant that did this to you would pay.

---------------------

They spent another two months training. The boys inconsolable after finding out what happened to you. The only thing keeping them going was the thought of defeating the ant that killed you. 

And once again Kite had stayed. Sharing their ambition, but not wanting them to be consumed by it. Killing that thing wouldn't bring you back.

It might help them feel better, but you wouldn't have wanted them to dirty their hands with revenge.

Yet their resolve grew along with their strength. Preparing to enter East Gorteu and finish off the Chimera ants once and for all.

—-------------------

Knuckle and Meleoron were fighting with Youpi. Morel was distracting Pouf. And Netero just left with the king. Meaning Pitou was by themselves. The cat ant responsible for your death.

"Keep your guards up, and don't let your emotions get the best of you. The ant will use that as an opening to end your life. Got it?" Kite instructed.

Both boys nodded before starting to approach the turret's entrance.

But something was off. It was eerily quiet. The night still…until a being jumped down from the top of the tower.

All three of them immediately jumping back as the debris cleared. It was another ant. This one dressed head to toe in armor. It produced a strong Ren, yet it wasn't malicious. 

"Go any further than that and I'll stop you. I would prefer not to end children's lives, so run on home." It spoke.

And although the voice was muffled, something about it was familiar.

"We're not going anywhere, so get out of our way!" Gon shouted before lunging forward with a punch.

The ant easily dodged it, jumping to the side from another attack by Killua. 

"You two should've waited," Kite scolded before summoning Crazy Slots.

"TWO!"

Kite glared as his scythe appeared.

"Damn, not a good spin." 

But before he could use Silent Waltz, the ant jumped on top of the gigantic blade and kicked him square in the jaw.

They were fast.

He skidded a few feet before charging forward. The boys following suit, yet this thing was very skilled.

Ducking away from a slash and skittering back from one of Killua's lightning-based attacks. Grabbing both of Gon's hands and throwing him across the bridge.

"We'll never get past this thing!" Killua shouted, glaring the armored ant down.

Kite couldn't help but notice something about this enemy.

It didn't make a move to attack them from a distance. It stood guarded, yet still as Gon approached once again. And when he passed a certain point, then and only then did the ant strike.

But not with the intent to injure him. 

Just keep him back.

It was protecting something. Pitou perhaps? If they could just distract it long enough…

"Boys, you know when to jump, correct?" 

"You have an idea?" Gon asked after getting tossed back for the fifth time.

"Yeah, just be ready." 

With that, Kite brought his scythe back, preparing to swing it. And just like last time, a heavy fog rolled in. But the ant didn't seem fazed. 

Almost like it could see through it.

Kite took a few steps forward before letting his scythe slash through the air. A cyclone of wind encompassed him. 

But it dispersed before it could do any damage. The ant making one swipe with their arm. The power from it canceling out his attack.

"That won't work on me!" It shouted.

"But this will! Jan-Ken-Rock!" 

A fist coated in a fiery nen made contact with its helmet, knocking it off. The ant tumbled to the side, not expecting Gon's punch. However, that wasn't enough to keep it down.

It got up with a scowl, and as they got a good look at its face, their hearts dropped.

"No…It can't be." Kite whispered.

"You-You-Why are you here!?!? We thought-!" Killua had to stop himself. Unbelieving of what he was seeing.

"Y/n!?! You're okay!?!?" Gon exclaimed. His being lighting up with relief, but before he could approach you, Kite stopped him.

"That's not Y/n."

Because even though it had your eyes, your tired eyes with familiar circles under them…Even though it had your face…. Even though it had your voice…. Even though it had your speed…

This thing was not you.

It couldn't have been.

You would never fight the boys. You never would've attacked them. You would've rather died than hurt them.

The fox-like ears on the side of your head were a telltale sign that even if it was you, you were a chimera ant now. Your purpose was to serve the king.

So for the sake of keeping his sanity, this thing was not you.

"Y/n, c'mon! Why are you fighting us!?! Why didn't you try to get away!?!" It was Killua who was pleading with you now.

But you didn't react. 

You didn't move an inch until the boys tried getting closer to you.

"I already told you not to come any closer. If you do, I'll have no choice but to kill you."

Your words felt like daggers.

You never would have threatened them.

"Don't you remember us!?!? You're supposed to be the big sibling and we're your little brothers! Stop pretending, Y/n!" Gon pleaded.

You gave an uninterested stare. Blank and emotionless.

"Why do you keep saying that name? Was that perhaps related to my human life? I'm sorry to tell you the person you speak of no longer exists. I am simply known as The Knight." 

It was your voice, but it didn't sound like you. 

"What did they do to you!?!? The Y/n I know never would have allowed these things to brainwash them, so what happened!?! Be mad at us! Something! Just stop acting like you don't know us!" By this point Killua was sobbing. Gon crying with him.

And the more you just stood there, the more they broke. They expected everything except this. Except seeing you face to face.

"Boys, stand down." Kite ordered.

He told them not to let their emotions get the better of them. He warned them to be prepared for anything. And if they couldn't fight something that looked like you, then bringing them here was a bad idea.

They just couldn't handle it. 

The both of them backed away from you hesitantly. Wishing for a way to get you to remember. 

"I'll distract them. You two need to be able to get past them. Pitou is definitely inside. If you can manage that, you'll be fine. If you can't, go home while you still have a chance."

The duo nodded begrudgingly. Wiping away their tears before preparing to run.

Kite lifted up his Scythe once more, eyes piercing through your own. He watched you prepare to attack, no longer defending.

Your familiar aura radiating off. 

But it wasn't you.

This wasn't you.

And even if it was, he had to do this. He couldn't afford to hesitate. He couldn't-

"I think I like you…Is that bad?"

He froze mid swing, giving you the opportunity to swipe his legs. Your hand poised to pierce his throat. Of all times to hesitate, it had to be the one where you intended to kill.

Time seemed to slow.

Seconds feeling like hours as the boys ran past before stopping. Turning around and watching as your hand inched closer and closer to Kite's throat.

He prepared himself for the pain, yet nothing came. He glanced up at you confused. And to his surprise, your expression matched his.

"Huh. That's strange. My body won't let me kill you." Your hand shook, fighting with yourself to move. Yet for some reason it didn't.

"Tell me, what kind of trickery did you use to stop me?"

And it was at that moment Kite realized even if you didn't remember, your body did. Your body knew him. It was why you never really hurt the boys when they were fighting you. He wanted to fight off the hope it gave him.

To kill you while you were distracted, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Because somewhere inside, you do remember. No matter what the ants did to you." 

The ears on your head flickered for a second. Your expression thoughtful. The hand ready to kill him being set down for the time being.

"What was I to you then?" 

Not what were you. Not who did you used to be. But what were you to them. To the boys, you'd been their big sibling. Family. To Kite, you'd almost been a lover. But undoubtedly, you'd been important to all three of them.

"Our friend...We were almost more than that."

You backed away completely. 

"Then I'll give you one more chance to turn back. I won't stop next time." 

All the hope gone in one full swing.

You were gone.

"Hahaha! Aww, did we break apart your family!" A voice laughed out. One that you tensed up at. Immediately kneeling on the floor.

"Lord Pouf." You addressed. 

The butterfly ant was much smaller than he'd been previously. Using his ability to split off into clones. He fluttered from above, cackling at the events that just transpired.

Kite glared at him while Gon and Killua prepared to kill him. Their current objective on hold. 

How dare this thing.

"Did I strike a nerve? Don't you three get it? No matter what you say or do, they'll never remember! We altered their brain to get rid of any memories they might've retained in their past life! It truly is a fool's game at this point!" Pouf explained with a wide smile.

But he really should have kept his mouth shut.

"You altered their brain?" Gon asked slowly. The darkness hidden away in his aura rising to the surface.

"It's your fault they're like this?" Killua added. His own anger leaking out.

This.....this was you.

And the ants had done something to your brain. The faint line of stitching across your forehead clued them in enough on what they had done.

All at once, three furious nens spiked. Consuming the entire top of the palace.

"Can you two promise me something?" Kite started. His voice eerily calm.

"If I'm able to restrain Y/n, promise me you'll take care of the royal guards. All of them."

"I'll take the cat," Gon said, crackling his knuckles as he stepped forward.

"And I'll take the butterfly. The real him." Killua wasted no time powering up to God Speed.

These ants really shouldn't have messed with you.

------------------------------------------------------------

MASTERLIST

Tags: @fandomhoe101 @justxiao @bekataylorgriggs

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An: Nothing but fluff for the halloween special. Y'all deserve it after this one 💀💀💀

[seenoversundown]

Amongst The Stars: Chapter Two

Josh x Quinn (Nonbinary OC)

Warnings: Borderline emotionally abusive partners (I personally feel like it veers into that territory, some may not. I wanted to warn for it regardless), Hobby Lobby, Queer flower language, using alcohol to drown your sorrows (don't!!).

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: Josh has always loved love, and he's finally found it. Buuuut, he can't exactly tell anyone. Join him as he navigates the ins and outs of his sweet, secret romance.

Author's Note: Told you all it was going to be a Twins Week, so here’s another Josh :) I hope you enjoy!

We’re Going To Be Friends - The White Stripes  “Tonight, I’ll dream while I'm in bed When silly thoughts go through my head  About the bugs and alphabet  And when I wake tomorrow, I’ll bet  That you and I will walk together again Oh, I can tell that we are gonna be friends.” 

The Past

I let my fingers trail up and down the shelves as I walk through the aisles of Hobby Lobby. I hate coming in here, homophobic ass store. I’m looking for a few sets of Cray-Pas Junior Artist oil pastels for my elementary school-aged art class. We’re working on a color theory project, and I love how oil pastels come across so bright. 

I’m sure the kids will love that, too. 

As I turn the corner to head down another aisle, I almost run smack dab into a worker’s back. I let out a high-pitched squeak as I narrowly avoided hitting them.  “Oh! I am so sorry. I didn't realize anyone was down here.”  I look at the person I almost bowled over, lightly admiring the curly mop of hair they're sporting as their arms reach up to place an item back on the top shelf.  “You’re completely fine!” 

I notice a small, fine-line tattoo peeking out from under their short-sleeved shirt on the back of their bicep.  It looks to be a bouquet of sorts.  Green carnations. Are they an Oscar Wilde fan?  Sprigs of lavender. Surely, they know the connotations.  Pansies. Oh, they absolutely know what they're doing. 

“That's a pretty sick tattoo,” I toss out, realizing I've been far too quiet.  They finally turn around and look at me, eyes roving over my person, calculating their next move.  I can't blame them if those tattoos mean what I think they do; it's always a bit of a gamble revealing that information about yourself. 

They bring their hand up to the tuft of hair resting on their chin, eyes darting away from me as they decide.  “Thank you!”  Okay, not so open.  “Does it have any kind of meaning?” I know I shouldn't press, but I have to know.  “Oh,” they pause, calculating again, “just that I would be known as a… horticultural lad… if this was the 1920s.”  I let out a booming laugh.  I don't know what explanation I expected, but it definitely wasn't that.  “Join the club, brother.” 

I watch his shoulders sag in relief, and his previously closed-off features morph into the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. Does he have 67 teeth in his head? How is his smile so big?  

“I’m Quinn. They/Them. Big Queer.”  “I’m Josh. He/Him. Same,” he shoves his hand out to shake mine.  I bat his hand away.  “Oh no, Josh. I think we’re gonna be friends. I don't shake hands with friends,” I say, dragging him into a loose side hug. 

I feel him tighten up against me before he melts into it.  Fair enough, I am being a little weirdo, but it felt right to hug him. I release him after a moment, and he lets out a small chuckle. 

“I’ve seen you here before, but I try to avoid harassing customers,” he chuckles, “Though, I wish I had said something earlier. You seem… interesting.” I watch his eyes trail over my carefully curated outfit: a beat-up, cut-off Bob Seger shirt expertly French-tucked into my baggy green corduroy pants, tied together with my trusty Doc Martens loafers. “You know, my brothers and I have a bit of a thing with Old Bobby Boy, but that’s a story for another time.”

I quirk a brow and let out a chuckle.  He talks a mile a minute; I feel like I’m getting whiplash. 

“I’d love to hear it sometime,” I ran a hand through my messy hair. “Perhaps you will, my dear. Perhaps you will,” he fixes me with another megawatt smile before barreling right back into conversation.  “But no, yeah. I see you here all the time. You’re kind of hard to miss.” Is he flirting with me? “I mean, you know. It’s just, like recognizes like. And in a town this small, you kinda—“ he cuts himself off and rubs a hand down his face, “I’ll stop talking. I can be a bit of a rambler.”  Not flirting. 

I let out a bewildered laugh. 

He's made me laugh more in the last 10 minutes than I have in months. 

“That’s fine by me,” I wave off his little self-conscious comment, “sometimes I forget to talk at all. We can balance each other out.” “Balancing each other out? I like the sound of that,” he tosses a wink at me, and I feel my cheeks heat up.  Am I really so attention-starved that a wink is making me blush?  “Oh, hush.” 

“Mmmm. No, I don't think I will.” 

We lull into a comfortable silence as he begins slowly restocking the shelves in front of him.  I watch him for a few moments, noting how his biceps stretch as he reaches out.  Why is my mouth suddenly dry?  I also notice how his back muscles, hidden and unassuming under his plain white tee shirt, ripple as he leans up on his tiptoes to stock something on a shelf just out of his reach.  God bless it.  I’m so caught up in him that I don't even notice when he turns to look at me, catching me staring.  He ducks his head and tries to hide his giggle. 

“So, Quinn,” he starts, “Tell me a little bit about yourself.” I smile for a moment, trying to decide how to proceed. Craig hates it when I talk about work. Will Josh be the same? Should I keep this as impersonal as possible so I don’t pre-run him off? Wait, why am I even worried about pre-running him off?

I pull myself out of my thoughts, ultimately deciding to be honest. “Well, I’m in school to be a teacher – art – which is why you see me in here all the time,” I brace for him to interrupt with how boring or useless my chosen career path is, but he doesn’t. His eyes light up. “Teaching, molding young minds, is such a noble profession.”

I crack a small smile but quickly proceed with my typical minimizing. “Oh please, Josh. I am teaching kids how to scribble. It’s not like I’m saving lives.” “You don’t know that,” he pauses, shaking his head, “art saves people, whether directly or indirectly, and I won’t let you minimize the work you do. Not around me. I don’t know who in your life made you feel like you have to, but cut that shit out.” I stare at him in awe. “That look you’re giving me tells me that there actually is someone who tells you your career isn’t important,” his eyes roll back dramatically, “Anytime you need a reminder that they’re wrong, you know where to find me.” I suck my lower lip between my teeth, considering how to respond. I don’t miss how Josh’s gaze slides down and locks on the spot where my teeth meet my lip. I definitely don't miss his subtle swallow as I, perhaps a bit intentionally, roll my lip between my teeth. “I’ll keep that in mind, Josh.”

I slowly start to turn from him, suddenly uncomfortable with the level of unintentional validation a complete stranger is giving me. 

“I better grab my oil pastels and scoot,” I say, pointing to the next aisle over. “My partner is in the car, and I’m sure he’s about three seconds away from coming in here and dragging me out.” An indecipherable look flashes across his face at the mention of Craig. “He’d really come in here mad because you took too long?” “He’s done worse for less…”  Josh winces at that, and I hope I haven’t scared him.  “ANY WAY,” I borderline shout, “he’s a great dude; he’s just impatient. So, I’m gonna head out. It was lovely to meet you, Josh. I can’t wait until our paths cross again.”

I raise two fingers to my forehead and give Josh a mini salute, then walk to the next aisle to get my supplies. 

Wow, I can’t wait to talk to him again. I think we’ll be good friends so long as Craig doesn't ask too many questions.

“Took you long enough,” Craig huffs as I open the driver's side door. “It was super busy, I’m sorry.”  “There’s like three cars in the parking lot. So, let’s try that again.” Fuck. I should have considered that before.  “Yeah, you’re right, babe,” I try to bite back my annoyance, “I actually got caught up talking to a worker.”  Craig raises an eyebrow, basically begging me to continue. “His name is Josh,” I say with a finality that hopefully gets the point across that I’m not open to discussing it.  “Oh, his name is Josh?”  “Yep,” I say, popping the P.

Craig seems to take the hint and quiets down as I connect my phone to the Bluetooth in my car, shuffling my music library. The intro to “Feather” by Sabrina Carpenter pumps through the speakers as we drive out of the parking lot.  Craig huffs in the passenger seat, turning to look out the window. 

“Since you ran your errand and dragged me along, do you think we could stop a few places for me?” A few places? I have work to do. I can’t just chauffeur him around. I let out a small sigh, looking either way before turning right at the stop sign at the front of the shopping complex. I plaster on a small, fake smile and look over at Craig.  “Of course we can, babe…”  He turns to look at me, a sneer on his face.  “But…”  “But,” I internally roll my eyes, “I do have work to do. So I don't want to be out all day.”  “Well, you should have thought about that before dragging me out with you.”  I ignore him, breathing deeply and letting Sabrina Carpenter fill my brain as we drive down the road.

I feel so much lighter, like a feather, with you out my life. 

“Can you change this song?”  “I like this song..”  “Well, I hate hearing Pop bitches whine about vapid shit.” Oooh, Vapid, big word. I let out a laugh. 

“What?”  “Nothing,” I chuckle again, changing the song, realizing that this battle is not worth fighting.  We lapse into silence again, and I nearly allow my muscle memory to drive us back to our apartment.  “Gamestop,” Craig blurts out, seemingly realizing at the exact moment that I am thiiiiiiis close to turning onto our street.  “Excuse me?”  “Gamestop, I want to stop there. I have a few things I want to look at.” He was an asshole about my job because he wanted to go to Gamestop. Okay. “Sure, Craig,” I bite back my anger, “We can stop at Gamestop before we go home.” “And the flea market.” The flea market? He really does only see me as his chauffeur. Cool, cool, cool.  “Anything you want, babe,” I swipe one hand down my face in annoyance, turning my blinker on and merging into the right lane so I could get on the exit for the highway. 

Of course, he wants to go to GameStop—a 12-minute drive to a different city. Is he punishing me for getting caught up with Josh? Craig may be an idiot, but he is smart enough to spite me when he wants to. This wild goose chase when he knows I have work to do has no other explanation. 

I’m not entirely sure when our relationship began to feel like work, but it’s been this way for months.

We moved to Portland shortly after my best friend Willa and I graduated from SCAD. I would follow Willa to the ends of this earth, so we ended up in Maine. 

It’s perfect for my photography career, Quincy: nature, kitschy little shops, small-town vibes with a big personality. 

How could I tell her no when she was so excited? So, the day after graduation, we packed up our cars and began the 17-hour road trip. 

Craig originally wasn't going to come. When Willa and I decided to move up here, we had a massive blowout fight that led to us breaking up for a while. But, the week before we were set to leave, Craig came crawling back to my door, flowers in hand, and begged me to take him back. He promised that he would change and wanted me to follow my dreams. He promised me that he wanted to be a part of my dreams. I agreed, and he hopped in the car with me. 

On days like today, when Craig is in one of his moods, I am transported back to the conversation Willa and I had in our dorm room the night I took him back. 

I can't help but wonder if she was right. 

“I love you so much, Quinn,” it was strange for her to use my given name, “but what happens when we move to Portland and you meet the actual love of your life?”  “What do you mean? I love Craig.”  “He’s a borderline serial killer who still gets an allowance from his mother.”  “He’s just going through a tough time. He’s going to change, Wills,” I said with such conviction. “Mmmm.. His moodiness is becoming increasingly common, and I don't want you to miss something good because you're shackled to your college boyfriend.”  “I know you don't love Craig, but he’s good to me most of the time,” I sigh, “every relationship has issues.”  “I know that, but the issues in your relationship are becoming more common. I don't want you to get hurt. Or to be stuck in a situation that isn't working.”  “I won't be stuck! If it doesn't work out, I’ll leave him.”  “Quincy, you can't even call the pharmacy to fill your prescriptions. You expect me to believe you’ll be able to confront him if and when the time comes?” I didn't miss the way she said and instead of or.  “That came out harsh,” she reaches out and pats my arm, “I'm not trying to be mean. I’m just worried about you.”  “I know, Wills. You're fine. I’ll think about it a bit more before making a decision.” 

I pull myself out of my thoughts just in time to pull into the Gamestop parking lot. 

“You coming in or staying out here?” Craig asks, opening his door before I even have the car in park.  “I’ll come in,” I reply, shutting my car off and opening the door. 

I have no desire to be alone with my thoughts right now. They're going down a dangerous path. 

I trail behind Craig as he enters the shop, tossing a quick smile and waving to the worker behind the counter.

“What are you looking for, babe?”  “I need a new game and controller,” he brushes me off.  “A controller? You just got one a few weeks ago.”  “Well,” he says, bringing his hand to the back of his neck, “I broke it.” I roll my eyes. That explains the mysterious crash that woke me up at 2 a.m.  “How?”  “I don't know, Quinn.” He rolls his eyes. “I got mad.” 

These bursts of rage are happening with increasing frequency. Just like Willa said. 

“Can you find a better way to take your anger out? These controllers are like $70,” I push.  “Sure, I’ll get right on that,” he raises his voice, “like what does that even mean? How do you want me to do that?” 

My eyes shoot over to the cashier, who is suddenly very interested in the dirt under their nails. 

“Craig,” I start softly, trying to calm him down, “I'm sorry. Forget I said anything.”  “Yeah, well,” he looks me dead in the eyes, “that's not hard to do when nothing you say matters, anyway.” 

Okay, ouch. 

Tears prick my eyes, and I level him with a glare and walk outside, determined not to let him see me cry.  Why is he being this way? He's always had a little bit of an attitude, but he is typically sweet in public. 

I unlock my car door, placing a hand on my chest to calm my breathing. Calm it down, Quinn—no need to have a panic attack over a dumb boy. 

I open the car door and sit in the driver's seat, leaning against the steering wheel. I suck a deep breath into my lungs, holding it for three seconds before releasing it. I repeat that action until I no longer feel like my heart will thump out of my chest.  What could I have done to him to put him in this mood? 

Now that I’m not on the verge of a panic attack, I replay the day in my head. 

We got up this morning, and I made him breakfast.  Did I burn his eggs? Did I undercook them? 

I left him alone for a while to play video games.  Should I have stayed with him? 

We got up and went to Hobby Lobby. He specifically asked to stay in the car.  Should I have pushed him to come in with me? Should I have been quicker? 

And here we are now.  What happened? 

My mind flicks back to Hobby Lobby, and I remember how mad Craig seemed about me speaking to Josh. I can't say I regret it. Speaking with Josh was the highlight of my entire week. It was so lovely to speak with another human and not worry about walking on eggshells. It was nice to talk with someone and have a genuine smile on my face.  I really can't remember the last time I had that with Craig.  That's so sad, Quinn. 

Craig distracts my line of thought by opening the passenger seat and throwing his Gamestop bag into the back seat. I lift my head from the steering wheel to look at him. “What’s your problem?” He asks, fixing me with a cool stare.  What's my problem? I hold back a bitter laugh.  “I don't have a problem, Craig.”  “Well, you sure booked it out of the store,” he pulls his vape out of his pocket and takes a puff, “it was kind of embarrassing.”  Me leaving was embarrassing, but you making me tear up wasn't? Oh okay.  “I’m sorry,” I start, “I had a headache come on out of nowhere and needed some air.” A Craig-sized headache. I was angry earlier, but now I’m defeated.  “Well...” I see his eyes light up with whatever he’s about to say next. “If you aren't feeling well, I can drop you off at home so you don't have to stay out with me while I run errands.”  “That sounds great,” I breathe out in genuine relief.  I can't imagine trying to spend the rest of the afternoon with him while he’s in this mood.  “Sure thing, babe.” 

I note that he looks almost relieved that I agreed so quickly. 

I don't have time to unpack all that. 

As I drive back to the apartment, I try to put everything out of my mind. 

—————————————————————————

“Bye, babe,” I press a reluctant kiss to Craig’s lips as he walks past me to get into the driver's seat.  “I’ll see you in a little bit,” he responds with hardly another look in my direction. 

I try not to take his (lack of) response to heart and make my way up the stairs to our apartment, unlocking the door and booting it open with my foot. I drop my well-loved (see: filthy and paint-stained) canvas messenger bag on the floor in the foyer and toss myself face-down on the couch.  “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,” I scream into my pile of throw pillows before flopping over on my back. 

I pull out my phone and click on the messaging app, selecting my chat with Willa.  I'm sure Willa would loooooove to tell me how shitty Craig is. 

Me: Hellooooooo, Wilson.  Wilson: QUINNY Wilson: Wait  Wilson: You’re using full punctuation Wilson: What’s wrong 

I let out a laugh; Willa has always been so good at reading me. 

Wilson: What did Greg do Me: 🙂 Me: How much time do you have 

I begin typing out a TL;DR message explaining the situation when I'm interrupted by a Facetime call from the woman herself. I tap the answer button quicker than I've ever tapped anything else in my life. 

“QUINNDOLYN!!!” Willa squawks, her face coming into view.“WILSON!”  I take in her appearance, her brown bob appropriately disheveled, just as it always is.  

“You better spill right now.”  I move my phone into my left hand, swiping my right hand through my hair.  “Let me collect my thoughts,” I laugh, “I wasn't exactly expecting an immediate phone call.”  “Well, that's on you. You know I'm far too nosy to wait for your little fingers to tap it all out.”  “Touche. You are quite annoying when you want to be.” 

I giggle as she sneers at me, sticking out her tongue like a kid on a playground. 

“Anyway. How do you want it? Do you need every detail of my day or just the Craig parts?”  “Oh, babe,” she rolls her eyes. “I would live inside your walls if I could. I need the details of your whole life.”  I snicker at her, then launch into the story of my day. I spare details around Josh, referring to him as Stock Boy, though I see her eyebrow quirk up a few times at the information that I do decide to divulge. I want to keep him to myself a little longer. We saw how Craig reacted. 

“Ah, Quinn—” she starts after I finish explaining a bit of Hobby Lobby.  I blow right past her interruption and continue to the car ride.  “He’d be wise to listen to Our Lady Sabrina!”  “You are so right, Willy,” I laugh, “I thought it was goofy he got mad about ‘Feather,’ but I digress.” 

I suck in a deep breath, bracing myself for Willa’s reaction as I launch into the final part of our afternoon. 

“He said WHAT?”  “You heard me,” I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose.  “I need you to repeat it because I must be losing my mind.”  “He saaaaaaaaid that nothing I say matters.” 

I watch through my phone screen as Willa stands up from her couch and walks through her apartment. 

“What are you doing, Wills?”  “What does it look like? I'm getting my shit together, and I’m coming over.”  “He’s not even here right now. He’s off doing god knows what.”  “That's perfect, Quincy. Gives us time to plan what to say to him. I just need to pick up a bottle of wine.” 

She hangs up the call before I can even protest. 

Not that I would protest; I am well aware that there is no stopping Willa once she gets an idea in her head. 

I tidy up the apartment while waiting for Willa to arrive, throwing dirty laundry into a basket. I fight an eye roll (and maybe a tiny gag) as I pick up his empty beer cans from his “game sesh” with his boys last night. Willa will kill me if she finds out how many of Craig's messes I clean up for him. I'll just keep thaaaaaaaat fun fact to myself for the time being. 

I plop back down on the couch, pull out my phone, and scroll through Instagram. Now that I'm alone with limited distractions, my thoughts are drawn back to Josh.  I should have gotten his socials; he seemed sweet. My lips quirk up into a grin as I consider trying to hunt him down. It can't be too hard to find the one queer dude who works at Hobby Lobby. Woah there, Quinn. That's pushing it a bit.  My smile drops, and I know I can't do that.  He would have mentioned connecting before I left if he wanted to be friendly like that. He did say, “You know where to find me,” before I left, though. Clearly, that means he wouldn't be opposed to seeing me again.  I pick up one of the throw pillows sitting beside me and slam it over my face, letting out another muffled scream.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!” 

I keep the pillow over my face until I hear Willa walk in. She entirely bypasses me and heads right to the kitchen, immediately pulling down two wine glasses and filling them before meeting me back in the living room. 

“Babe, I know it's still kind of early,” she practically shoves a glass into my hand, “but, we’re gonna need a little bit of this to sustain our plotting.” She clinks her glass against mine, and we both take a sip.  “But, before we start. Let's talk about Stock Boy.”  I sigh, knowing full well I can't lie to her face. Fuck. She got me. She did this on purpose. She lets out a small laugh, and gestures for me to go on. 

And so, I tell her all about the first boy who has made me laugh in months.

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[holymolywhattheheck]

Alex Kister.

My thoughts on this entire situation might end up invalid, but it's always support victims. Controversial as it is, no, you can't always do that. I'd like to point out that I've read every document. And a lot of people just assume that it's all true because it's long and many people are coming out to speak about it. Buuuut each have a small story at the start and then the same story about the server. And in many moments, the 'victims' dont even say what was exactly said or done, just briefly mentioned it and claimed to feel u ncomfy speaking about it. But what the heck is the point then? I agree that Alex was probably really mentally ill. And most likely still is. But all the proof? It's just screenshots. Most of the ones that are from servers aren't as harsh as the DM ones. But it's easy to fake DMs isn't it? And I'll note it here again. I don't defend Alex Kister. Some screenshots have dots on Alex's profile picture. Why? And then there's story about how Alex didn't want people to see his face or anything. But as much as I'm aware, they're pretty fine with it??? Another thing I'd like to note is that he's a young adult. A really, really young adult. 20,someone who got pretty famous in a small amount of time. And probably doesn't really understand boundaries. That being said, also the mentally ill part. It's no excuse but it could be an explanation.

So in conclusion of this ramble, I really just want to see what Alex has to say. Don't want this to be another Kwite situation. I believe the explanation, maybe an apology, will be rather solid. Might not. But we'll see.

And if someone claims that I am defending him, and trying so hard to make him seem innocent. That might be it, because I'm working on a project of mine with a friend that is quite similar to TMC. And once we do ever make something bigger out of it, I am not ready for the Alex Kister 2.0 comments or something. It's also because I love the fandom and idea.

[pampamtiger]

things that i think of while i was watching the 13th episode of lovely runner (contains spoiler)

there are three ways that i think the story could venture into (based on the ending of the 13th ep):

- sunjae died momentarily but went back in time soon after (sol's doing). in this option, he must've not retained his memory from his present (now became one of his probable future), hence when sol avoided him during the giving of package scene, it then led both to a new future, in which sunjae did not fall in love with sol. this would lead to the preview scene.

*before i went to the other two probable endings, i would just like to point out a loop hole that i found from the scene wherein sunjae would first meet sol. see, we all know that sol didn't have any chance to go back to the past anymore as she already spent her last chance when she went back to the period in which sunjae would die thru stabbing and drowning. so no more chance to change the past, right? now, let's go back to the time in which sunjae was transported (aka sunjae's first time travel): the yellow umbrella with the package delivery scene. the question is: how come sol already knew sunjae? she tried to avoid sunjae because of this. it means she knew what would happen. if sunjae was the only one who traveled back in time because he was the person who was wearing the bewitched watch, it would not make sense if sol had an idea about their future. BUUUUT, here's what i think. if we'd want that scene to be valid, then we should think that sol time traveled with sunjae when she pushed the watch's button. that would make it sensible. BUUUT THEN AGAIN, if this is the case, we'll never know whether they arrive on the same timeline so i'll leave it at that.

now let me go back to the other two options (sorry i'm not coherent when i try to explain stuff lololol)

- sunjae went back in time but with retained memories from the present this time. he just pretended that he didn't know sol and waited for the year the incident had happened to pass before he approach sol (or not). depending on his choice, he would either reunite with sol at a later timeline or he would continue pretending that he didn't know sol to avoid the accident which can happen any time now (changing of the future was possible before his time-travel)

- last option: sunjae went back in time but it was not his first first time. (yes, i'm delusional lmao) given that he was the first owner of the watch that could time travel, it must've worked when he first possessed it. he must've went back in time to change sol's fate (because of his guilt) but he failed to do it even after the third try. since sol also got to time-travel but still couldn't avoid any harm, fate must've given them one last chance to reunite. (though this will now tie to my first conclusion)

anyway, thank you for reading my jumbled thoughts and presumptions about lovely runner's endings. keep in mind that all of these are just my wild guess.

let's enjoy the last three episodes together~^^

[rei-ismyname]

HEIR OF APOCALYPSE #4 - A WET FART TO END A TURD OF A MINI

So... This was a waste of time at best. I'm not going to bother with any literary analysis because I don't feel like putting more thought into it than the author, so I'm just going to dunk on it. Spoilers below the cut.

If you read my previous entries, you'll recall I reasoned that Mr Sinister would be part of the climax. He was in opposition to everyone else in the mini and had more page space than any two other characters put together. A Chekhov's Gunman, if you will. NOPE. Doesn't even appear. Emma asks where he is and Warren says he fucked off. WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT THEN? I didn't want any more of him, but I wanted a story that's internally coherent. He was already a nonsense addition to the cast, and his presence just makes it a mini full of shit jokes and OOC responses to him murdering everyone's friends. He choked everything else out. Readers already have Sinister fatigue from Krakoa, where he was a crucial character - here he's just infuriatingly needless like a child licking all the cupcakes. The child is Steve Foxe, the saliva is Sinister, and the cupcakes are character work and a plot. Would've been nice, but get fucked I guess. Let's check in with the rest of the contestants.

I've read this sequence four times and I still don't know what is happening here. Meant to what, Doug? You can communicate with a fucking rock but can't tell us what's going on? You deserve to get turned into a golden idiot. I take it back, nobody deserves that.

O.....okayyyy. He doesn't pick Cable. This is gibberish. This is the end of Cable's time in the book. Lucky him. I said I wouldn't do any literary analysis but ARGGGHH. This is all information both parties, AND the reader, know. No new context, just taking up page space.

Sup, Forge? You remember how you were going to solve global homelessness and starvation? You'd built this whole system and were excited. You already knew it would work but I'm going to tell you anyway. (Can Apocalypse see the future? Wtf?) Shame it needs Krakoan biotech.

You're just the best. What this world truly needs. Except... You made a bad thing once so you can fuck yourself buddy. Bit rich coming from Apocalypse, no? 'Deserve' is moronic coming from a social Darwinist. He doesn't get picked either. *Pushes glasses up* ACKSHUALLY, he made it to combat Dire Wraiths - it just happened to work on mutants too. Mega dickhead Gyrich couldn't wait to use it and he did. I'd say Forge's sin is actually working for the US military industrial complex where Gyriches can access your shit. Buuuut, that's NOT something Apocalypse can hang on someone else. He's been fomenting war for millennia. Storm is stronger for having lost her powers, so by Apocalypse logic he should be G. God this mini suuuucks.

Alas, Tumblr only allows 10 images per post. Danielle Moonstar will not be featured bc I don't want to explain it then dunk on it. Just trust me when I say it sucks. She doesn't get picked and she's quite fine with that. Maybe Big Blue learnt nothing from his ridiculous Egyptian traps and decided to make one of his four living children heir? Five if you count his clone, Evan, who is just the sweetest kid ever.

I wonder if he's still calling himself Genesis. That'd be funny cos that's Apocalypse's wife's name. We never did see Evan on Krakoa, what's up with that? It would have been the perfect opportunity for what Age of X-Man bungled - interrogating the reason for his existence, destiny, fate, etc. Would he rethink his position on Nature/Nurture upon seeing Apocalypse behave responsibly and selflessly? Many of the other clones had their personhood affirmed - why not he? These are all very good questions that I'll come back to one day, but I'm honestly just trying to build some tension where STEVE didn't. It should be obvious who 'won' using the process of elimination.

Dougie! You're a good kid. Maybe even the best. We know this already. He picks him btw. He picks Douglas Ramsay. Cypher is the Heir of Apocalypse. Does it matter that he survived the Pyramid obstacle course through luck? Or are we meant to assume he 'solved' whatever dumbshit puzzle it was? It's quite clear Big Blue chose who he wanted to and the Tournament somehow helped that process. Doug ends up in Egypt whereas everyone else is on Arakko. Seems like it should be the other way round but whatever. How did Apocalypse get there? The transporter I guess. This really could have been a one shot.

Were you here for more than a panel of Emma Frost, Laura, Rictor (who actually wants to be here and has a relationship with Apocalypse) or Warren? Too bad, fuck you. Were you here for ANY Exodus, Armageddon Girl, Monet, Gorgon, or even Sunfire who teased a way more interesting story in issue 1? Double fuck you. You get nothing. All people I care about more than Sinister and his dumb jokes. May as well have done a Deadpool movie tie in LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING COMIC THIS WEEK. Okay I'm getting distracted - Doug wins the nebulous position of Heir and a ... Transformation. Drumroll please.

Woo! Bei and Warlock sightings! It's nice that they're supportive and they're the first good thing in this book. The second is that Arakko isn't blown up or moved to another dimension or whatever. We might see it again, hopefully in better hands than this kick in the balls. Anyway, let's see what Doug looks like post-transformation and wrap this shit up. Hopefully he doesn't look like an idiot.

HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA. Oh my god he looks ridiculous. His face and body language look like mine the first time I saw him. 'Fucking really, dude? This doesn't feel like a reward.' Gold, short, Apocalypse - That's what Doug looks like now. Big Blue can alter his own body at the molecular level and he chose Mini Me from Austin Powers 2. Ororo grew up in Cairo, maybe she can call his dumb ass out for cultural appropriation? He looks like a Halloween outfit or a bad cosplayer that doesn't know he's white. White boy dreadlocks given human form.

Is he fine with being renamed as well? Revelation is another word for Apocalypse, the greek translation AFAIK. It was mentioned a lot in Immortal X-Men and Excalibur. C-3PO here could tell him that too. It makes zero sense.

I can't see how this is close to a good thing for Doug, sorry, REVELATION. Apocalypse is kinda world famous as a genocidal lunatic. He may have worn a suit to the Davos economic forum and dropped awesome one liners but it's easy to forget that was a setup. They had 20~ dudes with psi-blockers, body armour and assault rifles to kill them. Unless he included some massive physical upgrades and defenses Doug is in great danger. I hope he got to Egypt by other means bc his days of commercial flight are over. Forget flight, going to the shops to buy food will terrify everyone he sees and he'll probably get murked by a SWAT team. Fuck this is dumb.

OUTRO/SLIGHTLY MORE SERIOUSLY

Okay, it's happened, I've accepted it. Heir of Apocalypse was hot garbage and Doug looks like a fool. What now? Doug has inherited the job of 'shepherding mutantkind' with his words. I know Warren is not listening to him lol. Why would anyone else? Big Blue built up *some* goodwill during Krakoa but blew it at the end. Look how many of the contestants showed up to keep an eye on him. Most of them. Nobody trusts this MF and looking like a gold version of him can only hurt his efforts. A good writer can make anything work, but those kind of pitches getting accepted are rare.

Sigh. What seems more likely to me is some dipshit making Doug a villain. I really hope not, because let's face it, Apocalypse's motivations were always nonsensical. He's like the Phoenix - totally iconic but becomes harder to take seriously each time it's used. Hickman and Gillen, respectively, are exceptions to that and part of their success was retconning the idiotic shit that had been overused and then recontextualising the concept from the ground up. One could argue that Doug as Heir of Apocalypse is doing just that, but if that happens that writer has a lot of work to do.

I'd LOVE for him to get his own book examining exactly how one fills that role with Doug's skills, powers, experience, and worldview. Truly, I would, but the Marvel formula is built on punching and Doug doesn't do that. He's just said he's not going to do that. The easy/obvious path to take is to have Doug go craaaazy (ugh) or be changed into Violence Man from whatever Apocalypse did to him, which would be a waste of time. It'd just be Apocalypse 2: The Goldening. Sadly it's probably most likely.

Until then, I guess Revelation is a gold idiot that's probably not appearing in any books. I'd love for him to show up to the bar Anole works at in NYX or something but let's be serious here. This wasn't even good bad, 'twas just an incoherent disappointment.

[variousqueerthings]

Time can be rewritten...

Angels In Manhattan, Amy and Rory goodbye. this is a... difficult one to rank. it may or may not make sense. Amy and Rory work better or worse depending on whether you've excised parts of previous seasons. it's kind of a... simple way to go in a sense, but is that good? (and yes, in classic!who sometimes companions would be written out between seasons, but I always assumed M*ffat would try to outdo everyone by being more tragic than anything before)

also this interesting post by @brilliantfantasticgeronimo that at the end talks about laws of time and how and when and why they're broken or upheld in terms of timestreams. things to think about going into this one, but luckily there's a handy-dandy ratings system

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 6/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 5/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 3/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 3/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 7/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 6/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 2/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 6/10

FULL RATING: 47/100 (if I can count….)

not the lowest a M*ffat episode's gotten. I think mainly it's just a bit... there. and I cannot help compare it to The God Complex, which is one of the two highest rated episodes of this era and manages much the same thing in a more cohesive way

OBJECTIFICATION: on the whooole considering River Song is in this one, it's mostly okay after the first few minutes

we do get some shit in the beginning: "My lipstick was combat ready and I was packing cleavage that could fell an ox at twenty feet" which the Doctor is... into? as a description? he doesn't even know it's River Song at this point, he just likes the description for some reason

but yeah, mostly it's okay. River is a femme fatale in a detective novel called "melody malone" but it's fine on the whole

PLOT-POINT: there's this bit where Amy reads a bit from the book River wrote in the past, and the Doctor is like "Now that you've read this it has to happen," and it turns out that the line (why do you have to break that) is a reference to River's wrist as she tries to get free from an angel

and it's this sort of theme of the episode, it's been read, it must happen, buuuut the Doctor could have just... not broken her wrist, according to this logic, right? it didn't say "and then River Song's wrist was broken" it just said that bit of line (and then "because Amy read it in a book...")

my point here is that then the Doctor gets really pissed off because it means something bad will definitely happen. he reads a chapter title called "Amy's Last Farewell" and it sends him into a rage -- (sidenote, Matt Smith's Doctor is the only Doctor I've seen so far where his kind of anger makes me very uncomfortable, that's subjective, but he comes across as An Angry Man sometimes and I'm not a fan of that) and instead of helping River out of the angel he tells her to figure it out herself in a way that doesn't break her wrist

she pretends she manages it and the Doctor is happy, until he realises she lied, and her wrist is broken and then he fixes it using time energy and she slaps him (we'll get to that in a minute) and Amy treats it as a "you just don't understand Womens" moment and then goes out to comfort River, asking why she lied

TO WHICH River replies: never let him see the damage, and never let him see you age

and this is just. peak River in the grand narrative once again. walking on eggshells around this rather petulant child in terms of the writing, and I'm meant to understand her feelings as anything other than "I was brainwashed as a kid to be obsessed with this guy and now I cannot break out of the programming" (which to be fair could be interesting, if it was done on purpose and not... by M*ffat)

and this also plays into Amy, who has since gotten reading glasses and "lines around her eyes," and it's this thing that's come up a lot in this iteration, that the Doctor has serious Peter Pan syndrome, but it's never been more textual than in this era

point being, Amy is the recipient of this line, but Amy isn't really narratively engaging with this. Amy could have let go of the Doctor ages ago, and in fact in the last episode the Doctor is saying that it's clear he needs her a lot more than the other way around... so why are we bringing this up now? what is it doing here? what is it saying about Amy or even River tbh, who's been in the form of a middle-aged woman most of the time we've known her and also at the end of the episode flat out refuses the Doctor's offer to travel with him for... no real reason

there's just a lot of quite uneven writing here that feels like it's trying to put together last-minute connections that don't belong there, and they're not in service of River or Amy, but to further hammer home that The Doctor Is Basically An Eternal Child Who Feels Bad

also this: When one’s in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve year old one does ones best to minimise the damage (at the Doctor, before he heels her wrist)... fascinating lampshading of all the seemingly very sexy flirting (including in this episode) River and The Doctor do... it's almost enough to make them interesting, in the sense that yeah, sometimes loving the Doctor means a different gender, different skin colour, different external-looking age, short, tall, thin, fat, etcetc

of course it's not really doing much with that, it's just another thrown out there line that feels like it's going "I know I know Matt Smith looks like a baby next to Alex Kingston and they have no chemistry, but stop complaining about it!!!" it's almost deep but not quite

COMPLEXITY: so the thing about the angels is that M*ffat invented them, right? and then he brought them back again, and now he's brought them back for a third time (feat. statue of liberty)

but way back in the very first episode of them a few things were established

. the angels feed on temporal energy -- sending someone back in time to live out their days . Martha and the Doctor are sent back in time, but with the Tardis aren't stuck there . they can be defeated by making them look at each other (or, I imagine but have never seen confirmed, with a sledge-hammer)

I think that's it pretty much. (sidenote, I heard that M*ffat didn't come up with "make them look at each other" and had no idea how to finish the episode, but that it's Gatiss idea? would have to search to confirm, but ooh, not-even-a-conspiracy -- would explain why M*ffat didn't ever bring it back, although he's not brought back his own Stuff on occasion as well)

so does M*ffat continue on the throughline of the angels? well, we know he doesn't because in s5 we saw them moving, which was a shame, considering the fun filmic idea that the camera in s3 functioned as another eye.

ah well, does the apartment make sense?

soooort of? I'm confused about logistics like... food. which may seem pedantic, but I feel like it's one of the many things that makes it hard to suspend my disbelief

I also realised that it sort of hinted that this whole set-up was very bad no good and was making time all squiggly, because of so many temporal mishaps, but it didn't go into it enough for it to feel like it was anything but a quick handwavy explanation for why you should keep suspending your disbelief no matter what happens, and still doesn't explain... the statue of liberty

almost had me with it, thinking this was why the statue of liberty was there because it was meant to be wrong, but actually no it doesn't make sense and worse, it doesn't need to be there, so that's... that

mmm, angel in a graveyard, I guess, but the thing that is a thing. The Thing. is yes, the angels are scary in a sense (so scary to Amy that she thought one of the spooky rooms in The God Complex with angels in them was for her), but arguably (subjectively) they were good villains because of their one-off appearance. do something kinda spooky and never try to explain more, leave it there as a little ooooh

bring it back over and over and you have to start getting into proper lore and you're Thing has to be strong enough to be able to hold that pressure, and to be honest. the angels aren't a good choice for that. they're very unwieldy when you get too close to them as concepts, especially when you start to pile a whole bunch of them into one tower block

New York, city that never sleeps, I get it, single line going "it's because everyone is secretly afraid of spooky things and so an eye has to be open at all times" eh but it's not quite enough

lot of sets for no reason, we could have cut the evil rich guy, he's not important to the story

and of course, the crux... why can't the Doctor just pick up Amy and Rory from the past? written in stone? my guy, you were declared dead for the whole of last season! again, I kind of get what's happening here, but it's kind of "inventing new rules for the plot" rather than established story rules informing the plot

the more you think about this episode, the more it doesn't quite fit together, and the more it feels like one big, overly complicated way of writing Amy out of the story, when she could have been out of the story at any point between here and The God Complex

not every companion leaving has to be a big tragedy, sometimes it's just the sadness of knowing peoples lives are going in a different direction from you, and that's exactly how The God Complex ends

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: so technically yes, this is the last episode of the Ponds so there's a whole bunch of stuff, however I would argue that not much changes one way or another from season 6

Amy and Rory still love each other (The Dalek Asylum was stupid and offered us nothing else on them that actually mattered), they're still planning to leave at some point, and they live a life

moreover that life is no more tragic than, again, The God Complex, because one doesn't really have a sense of the things they've left behind -- yes, Rory has a dad now (seen in two episodes) and he's honestly not a bad character, but he's not really firmly established in any way and might as well not exist, but for a bit of "oh that's nice"

Amy never had parents or family really (fight me M*ffat), and they left Leadworth with all its non-characters and live in London with a further bunch of non-characters

them leaving to live their life in the past is no more ungrounded than the life that was written for them in the present, in all its "I'm a Kissogram no a Model no a... Travel Log Reporter..." undefined lack of glory

also River Song doesn't travel with the Doctor because Alex Kingston can't commit to a whole season and so River Song just flat out turns him down, which is very funny in a sort of "does this make sense for the characters apparent inherent tragedy of not having enough time," kind of way -- should've just not said anything (especially not "one psychopath per Tardis is enough don't you think" SERIOUSLY M*ffat????)

and I think that's the problem in the end. post-God Complex has tried to justify Amy's and Rory continued meaning in this story but it's just not managed to do it. it feels like an overextended coda, with one relatively fun entry (The Power Of Three), and five stories that don't need to be there and give us scraps of things that might be important at some point in the future (such as the Doctor shouldn't travel alone for extended periods of time, but we already know this!)

also Brian... does the Doctor ever tell Brian, whom he had this seemingly deep conversation with about not losing Amy and Rory and bringing them back, that he will never see his son again?

COMPANIONS MATTER: yeah, I guess. I mean the whole book is written by River Song who's semi a companion, Amy and Rory jump off a roof which creates a paradox, which breaks the angels hold on the block (do they wink out of existence or are they still there or???)

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: this episode is more about the Doctor than the Ponds really, although he doesn't do much, just runs around, so...

in some ways we're anti-godlike-doctor in that there's a whole bunch of laws the Doctor suddenly can't break, despite... doing so... previously... notably in fact in the preceding season

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh got nothing. it's about the angels and it does weird shit their lore, but it's a surprisingly small episode on the whole, considering it's a companion's final setpiece -- not that it has to be massive (The God Complex, my preferred final episode for Amy and Rory is also in many ways a simple episode), but it's interesting for M*ffat

“SEXINESS”: so we've got the Doctor being into book!River, an ongoing joke with the word "yowza," a flirting scene when River and the Doctor first reunite (again, fascinatingly undercut by River later saying he "has the face of a twelve year old")

and an early scene where Amy asks Rory if she has lines around her eyes and him being "afraid" of telling her yes

it's not so bad on the whole, shockingly chill considering this is written by M*ffat

INTERNAL WORLD: one of M*ffat's biggest consistent weaknesses is that he eschews the "boring" details of making a place seem real, in favour of a plot just going at breakneck speeds without waiting around to see if it makes sense -- if you keep going very fast, nobody can see behind the curtain (unless you're actually breaking down the episode in which case... ah)

but yeah, they're in New York I guess, that's about it

POLITICS: there's not much in the way of overt politics once again, and honestly not much of anything else either. I guess one can pick up on a lack of things, but tbh there's so much else to pick at in this episode, a lack of interest in pre-WWII New York would have required an interest in world building at the minimum, and obviously that's not a thing in this episode, so much as it's a series of vibes (and you cannot coast on vibes alone forever)

FULL RATING: 47/100 (if I can count….)

So how do we leave the Ponds on the whole? it's got a few arresting scenes, Rory and Amy jumping off a roof together, the Doctor making a sad face while reaching for Amy

the rest of the episode is kind of there. neither the worst M*ffat has written, nor thaaat good. some good concepts that are under-written, a bit of shoddy lore-continuation and world-building

a big question for me at this point is where to end the Amy & Rory plot so that it fits going into the next stage of events (Clara). because The Power Of Three is quite fun, and might function as a coda (acknowledging they have a couple more adventures and then they drift out of the Doctor's life). but definitely, The God Complex is the ending for me

[substituted-shinigami]

Prompt from @recurring-polynya

Working Title: Takiyaki Is NOT Communication

Characters: Rukia, Orihime, Renji (RenRuki)

Rating: G

Genre: Humor/Romance/Fluff

Prompt: Rukia presents Renji with some food she has made. I tried to keep it very open bc I'm more interested in where you might go with it!

Story Summary: When Rukia recognizes her feelings for Renji, she works with Orihime to figure out how best to tell him. Their plan is tasty, if not a little dangerous. Post TYBW, some spoilers.

Author’s note: I had a lot of fun writing this prompt, but man was it a roller coaster ride! At first, I was writing a completely different fic, a Prestigious Private School AU Part 2, where we meet Renji’s study group and Rukia bakes a cake. Buuuut, that one was getting way too long in the tooth, and was riddled with problems that I’ve just begun to solve. Then I remembered I had a fic I wrote a beginning for, but no middle or ending because I just couldn’t figure it out. And I realized that this would be perfect for it! So sorry if that’s a cop out, I didn’t realize the other fic wasn’t going to work within the timeline until friday, so I needed to find a shorter solution. It still took awhile to make the two ideas work together and actually write the middle and ending if that counts! Also, you get a free Orihime out of the deal, so that’s nice! This is my first time writing for her so let me know what you think! Also, I all admit this one is a little crackish, especially for Rukia.

Takiyaki Is NOT Communication

Inoue Orihime was very much enjoying sleeping in on her day off from the bakery, when she heard a knock at the door. Who could be here this early in the morning on a Sunday? She wondered, as she tried to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes. She had just begun to yawn rather loudly and stretch out her limbs when she heard yet another more vigorous knock.

“Coming!” She yelled, throwing on a sweater over her pajamas. She went over and looked through the peep-hole on her door.

"Rukia!” She exclaimed, throwing the door open wide, “I didn't know you were in town. Come in, come in! What brings you here?" Kuchiki Rukia stood in the doorway looking more serious than Orihime had ever seen her.

"Orihime….” she said with great gravity, “There is something serious I must tell you. Something so serious that I couldn’t tell you over the phone."

Orihime gasped, “Oh Rukia, are you in danger? Do you need me to call Ichigo?” Orihime immediately reached for the phone in her pocket.

"No!” Rukia said quickly, frantically waving her hands in front of her, “No danger. No physical danger anyway… And I’m afraid this is not something he can handle,” she crossed her arms again, “Plus he'd probably just make fun of me, anyway…"

Orihime looked at her friend kindly, "I'm sure that's not true,” then she tapped her chin in thought, “Well, okay, it's probably a little true, depending on what the problem is… But he would still help you out afterwards!"

"I'm afraid it's beyond his skills. You see, Orihime, I...” Rukia paused for dramatic effect, “...have a dark secret…"

"Oh my… Um… Do you want to sit down?" Orihime asked, waving her hand towards the couch.

"Perhaps that would be best," Rukia nodded seriously, entering the apartment. Rukia sat down heavily on the couch. Orihime shut the door, and sat down gently next to her. She patiently waited while Rukia worked up her courage. Finally, Rukia spoke.

"Orihime… I think… I might be in love with Renji."

Orihime continued to sit with anticipation. When Rukia said no more, Orihime realized that she was finished.

"Oh? I mean, oh! Really?! W-what a surprise! I never would have guessed!"

Rukia turned towards her friend and began speaking rapidly, “I know, right? I mean, I know the guy's hot, I do have eyes, and it’s pointless to pretend otherwise,” she stated matter of factly, “And okay, maybe I had a crush on him before, and maybe MAYBE I dreamed about him occasionally even during the separation… But!” she crossed her arms now, “It was a pointless and silly little crush! I told myself as much, so I did my best to forget about him,” Rukia looked down, her brows knitted together, “But ever since we got back together again, the feelings came back little by little. So even when I tried to push them down, tell myself it’s pointless to get wrapped up in a silly crush again, he would do something or say something that was just so him, that I would find myself falling all over again. And finally all those moments kept piling up, so that my feelings kept getting stronger and stronger until… Uuuuugh…" Rukia covered her face with her hands, "This is so stupid…"

"No, no, Rukia! It’s not stupid!” Orihime said, waving her hands quickly. She began to rub her friend on the back soothingly, “I think it's great that you are able to admit your feelings to yourself. I think it is very mature of you."

Rukia looked up at her friend between her fingers, "Really?"

"Yes, really. It can be…hard to face your true feelings, and I think you are very brave to do it. And… I'm glad you told me."

"Oh…Oh Orihime…” Rukia said, putting her hands down again, “Thank you, Orihime, but…"

“Anyway, now that you know, what would you like to do about it?” Orihime quickly asked, pushing the conversation along. Rukia gave her friend an unconvinced look, and Orihime returned it with a pleading one. Rukia sighed. She’d let it go for now.

“That is the question…” she said slowly, “I’m not entirely sure. S-should I tell him?”

"Well,” Orihime began, “that's completely up to you. Do you want to tell him?"

"Normally, no, that's why I didn't tell him before,” Rukia said quietly, “I… I like what we have, and I don't want to mess it up by getting greedy… but… and I know this sounds absolutely crazy…"

"Yes?" Orihime asked patiently.

"I think he might like me too," Rukia finally said.

Orihime was more ready with her exaggerated reaction this time. "Ooooh! You think? Wow! Amazing!"

"Right?!" Rukia exclaimed, she began talking rapidly again, "I know it's a long shot, especially with all those girls over at the Sixth Division fawning over him everytime he so much as walks by in that flower bath robe of his…but…" Rukia got a little quiet, "he's been acting differently lately. He gives me compliments now. Not just when I wear something extra special for a festival, but even when I so much as wear a new hair clip, he notices. In the past, I would sometimes see him staring at me out of the corner of his eye for no reason at all. I would look up at him, and he used to immediately look away…but now he just doesn't?! I look up at him, and now he just stares me straight in the eye, smiles a little, and then slowly turns away. We would always meet up at events, but now he offers to walk me there and back. It's almost like…it feels like he's trying to tell me he likes me, without telling me."

"Oh…" Orihime said slowly and thoughtfully, "why do you think that is?"

"I don't know! Maybe he’s not sure I like him back. Or maybe he still feels like he needs to impress my brother. But maybe…” Rukia sighed, “maybe it's because I've been so busy and in a bit of a slump since Captain Ukitake died, and he doesn't want to push me into a relationship before I'm ready.”

Orihime thought about this. While it was pretty clear to her, and the rest of their friend group that Renji liked Rukia, she did have to admit that it had taken them awhile to figure out that Rukia liked him back, so that was a possibility. Rukia showed her affection in less than ordinary ways, ways that usually involved shouting. However, Renji knew Rukia a lot longer than any of them, so it’s unlikely that her unorthodox way of showing affection would faze him.

Orihime thought some more. It could be the brother thing… Orihime didn’t get it fully herself, but she had heard about it a bit from Rukia. Apparently Soul Society had this whole class system thing that didn’t allow Renji to even talk to Rukia until he was made Vice Captain. Still… from what she saw, Renji got along quite well with his captain/Rukia’s brother, so she doubted that this would be a problem anymore…

The last one was….hard. Rukia had been very busy since her Captain’s death. Her texts had become pretty sparse, so much so that Orihime and Ichigo barely heard from her anymore. The slump thing could easily be connected. Rukia often became a work-a-holic when she was trying to avoid things like thinking about her feelings. But if Rukia was here, presently with her, and asking Orihime’s advice on her feelings about Renji, then that means she isn’t avoiding them anymore. She’s ready to move forward.

“All of those are possible of course,” Orihime began, “But if you’re ready to talk about it, then perhaps that means you are ready to tell him.”

Rukia thought about this, “Yes. Yes, I think so too. Thank you, Orihime.”

“Of course! So how do you want to go about telling him?”

“Yeah, that’s the other problem… I’m not sure I’m ready to say all my feelings for him out loud yet. I think I would just jumble them up.”

“Okay, that’s no problem! You could just write them down!”

“Y-yeah! I could do that!” Rukia agreed. Then she deflated again, “But I don’t just want to hand him a note though, that’s pretty embarrassing too…”

“Maybe you could put it with something else? Like sort of a gift and card combo?”

“Oh yeah! That could work! In fact…” Rukia began, getting a scheming look on her face, “Maybe I could cook him something and then stick the message inside of it! Like a hidden message!”

“Wow!” Orihime exclaimed, “That’s a great idea, Rukia!”

“Yeah!!! Oh, but…his favorite food is takiyaki… Can you stick a message in that?”

“Hmmm, maybe but…takiyaki has a filling for a center,” Orihime reasoned, tapping her chin, “Your message might get lost in that.”

“Oh…yeah…I guess that’s true.”

“Although….” Orihime began, thinking hard.

“Yeah?”

“What you could do is make a bunch of mini takiyaki, fill all but one, put the message in that one, and then stick that one on top. Then when he opens it up, he gets the message!”

“Oh!” Rukia exclaimed, smiling. She hopped up off the couch, “Oh that could work! Thank you, Orihime! I’ll try that!”

Orihime smiled happily along with her friend, “Glad to help, Rukia!” She got off the couch too. “I actually got some supplies to make takiyaki if you want any help.”

“Yes please! This is going to be great!” Rukia said, with newfound determination as they headed towards Orihime’s kitchen, “Renji better look out, because these are going to be the best takiyaki he’s ever seen! He may or may not love me, but he WILL love our takiyaki!” Orihime laughed.

“Yeah!” She agreed.

__________________________________

"I present to you,” Rukia began dramatically to Renji, whom she met up with later that day. They were in the Sixth Division mess hall which was nearly always empty in the mid afternoons, “homemade takiyaki, made by yours truly!"

Renji raised an eyebrow at her. While he had tasted Rukia’s cooking since the separation, and it wasn’t bad, it was also clear she did it extremely rarely.

"With help from the wonderful Orihime!" Rukia finished with a dramatic flourish.

"There it is," Renji said, "Well that does boost my confidence in the quality, if not the flavor."

"H-hey! I could give it to someone else you know!" Rukia said, reaching to remove the plate, but Renji grabbed ahold of it, and held it securely closer to him.

"Uh uh! Nope! You said they’re mine, so they're mine!" Renji picked up the top takiyaki and examined it carefully, “Hmmmm…. Crispy on the outside, and soft in the center, good good…”

“But of course!” Rukia said triumphantly.

Renji gave the takiyaki an experimental sniff, “Nice aroma as well…”

“The nicest, I’d say!”

“Hmmm,” He said thinking, “but…”

“W-what is it?” Rukia asked with a sudden sense of dread.

“You went kind of light on the filling, especially on this one,” Renji said, giving the takiyaki a light squeeze, “Did you forget to fill it, maybe?”

“J-Just try it already!” Rukia said with nervous frustration.

“Okay, okay!” Renji chuckled. He took the mini takiyaki in both hands, and shoved the entire thing into his mouth. He then immediately choked.

__________________________________

“It was very nice of you to leave a note for your friend, Rukia, but this is why it’s important we tell people before we put non-edible items in food,” Captain Isane said.

“How was I supposed to know he was going to stuff the entire thing into his mouth?!” Rukia exclaimed, while rubbing Renji’s back. They were sitting in the Fourth Division Emergency Room since Rukia had used shunpo to get them both there after Renji had started choking.

“Why wouldn’t I? How was I supposed to know you had stuffed a wad of paper in there? What’s it say anyway?” Renji asked, reaching for where it had fallen on the floor after it had been successfully hacked up.

“W-wait! Don’t touch that!” Rukia said, snatching it up.

“What? Why not?!”

“B-because! It’s dirty!

“Then why did you grab it?”

“I…I….” Rukia suddenly looked very uncomfortable. She stared at the note, crumpled and wet, in her hands. She went very quiet. Isane took the hint and decided it was high time she excused herself.

“Well, I have other patients I need to check on, so I’ll be going now. As long as you're feeling better, you’re free to go, Vice Captain Abarai. I’ll send in someone to give you your emergency room dispatch papers.” And with that, she was gone. Renji stared at Rukia. Rukia continued to stare at the wad of wet paper in her hands, looking a little defeated. Renji sighed.

“I guess it was probably pretty important, huh? What you wrote on that note?”

“Yeah…”

“Something that's kind of hard to say out loud?”

“Something like that…”

“Ah…” Renji said, looking up at the ceiling, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked back at her again, “Sorry, I ate your note, Rukia.”

“It’s okay…it…was a stupid idea anyway.”

“Yeah, maybe not your smartest plan," he chuckled, "but it was definitely one of your tastiest! The takiyaki surrounding the note was really good, even without the filling!”

“Really? You liked it?”

“Oh yeah! For sure! Heck, if the rest of the division didn’t eat them while we were gone, I’d love to finish them!” Renji said.

“Oh yeah? Yeah, hopefully they didn’t…” She finished quietly. Rukia continued to stare at the note in her hands. It was utterly ruined. Renji sighed and walked over to her, He cupped his hands around hers.

“Hey…” He began gently, soothingly. Rukia finally looked at him, “It’s okay, y’know? You can try again,” he said, his thumbs gently caressing her hands, “I’ll still be here. I’ll always be here, whenever you're ready. So don’t worry about it, alright? We can try again.”

Rukia stared into Renji’s eyes, and he stared right back. They were soft and warm. Rukia felt her heart drive straight up into her throat, drop off its bags and settle down. Clearly it lived there now, hung up curtains and everything.

“Renji…I-"

"A-alright, Vice Captain Abarai, here are your dismissal forms," Hanataro said as he entered the room. He looked up, "O-oh Rukia! You’re here too! It's nice to see…" his eyes fell upon their joined hands, "Waaah! I'm sorry! I'm interrupting!" Renji sighed and let go of Rukia’s hands.

"Heh… Your timing is impeccable as always, Hanataro," Renji chuckled derisively, "here give me the paperwork to sign."

"Ah, okay, sorry!" Hanataro said. As Renji signed the paperwork, Rukia felt the tension building inside her. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to steel herself for what she wanted to say. Finally, Renji finished signing his paperwork and handed it back to Hanataro who apologized profusely again. Rukia had enough of her mind left to remember to tell him not to worry about it, and that she will talk to him later. He thanked her and left. Then she and Renji were alone again and the tension jumped through the roof.

Finally Renji said, “Okay, well we better hurry if we want to be able to eat the takiyaki before someone else does.” He gathered up his paperwork and started heading towards the door. But Rukia stood firm.

“R-Renji!” Rukia said as firmly as she could. Renji stopped and turned towards her. She was standing very rigid, but was also slightly shaking with nervous energy.

“Yeah?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“I- What if- We should go eat! Together!”

“Yeah, we’re going to go eat the takiyaki…”

“No, I mean….” Rukia stopped and closed her eyes. She slowly breathed in and out, calming herself. She opened her eyes again and glared at Renji.

“Renji!” she nearly shouted at him.

“Y-yeah?” he asked nervously, taking a step back.

“Will you go out with me to a fancy restaurant in a romantic way?!” She demanded while pointing her finger at him. Her ears burned. Renji blinked.

“I-”

“If not, that is okay!” she continued just as firmly, “Our friendship is very important to me, and I hope we can remain that way!”

“Good, but-”

“If you need time, that is also okay!” Rukia said remaining firm, but she was starting to shake again, “Being friends with someone who you know has romantic feelings for you when you do not feel the same way back can be stressful! So if you need time away, I…I…underst-”

“Rukia!” Renji said, closing the distance between them and stilling her shaking shoulders with his larger hands, “Rukia…” He said again, more gently, one of his hands moving up her neck, his thumb gently caressing her cheek, “Of course I’ll go to the restaurant with you.”

“In…in a romantic way?” Rukia asked, uncertainly.

“Uh yeah, idiot,” he chuckled warmly, “What other way would I mean?”

“I mean…we’ve eaten out a lot before so I…just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. That this is romantic and that you are okay with that,” Rukia said firmly. Her face was going a little red too now.

“Of course, I’m okay with it! I’ve…always been okay with it. Are you okay with it?” he asked, looking at her with some concern, “You’ve been through a lot within these past couple of years, are…are you sure you’re ready?”

“Of course, I’m sure! I’m the one who asked you out, idiot!” Rukia said, sounding resolute again, “I wouldn’t ask, unless I was sure!” Rukia put her hands on top of his, “I- I want to go out with you, Abarai Renji, and to do romantic things with you specifically!” She said, nodding firmly.

“Oh! I uh…good! That-that’s good!” Renji had become fully aware that his ears were now burning. He coughed, “So um…did you have anything in mind? For the restaurant, I mean!”

“Well, I’ve been to a couple with Niisama, but they all tend to be pretty stuffy. I don’t know if I could relax in those…”

“Hmmm, good point,” Renji said. He thought quickly, “Oh!!! Kira took me and some of the guys to a bar once that was pretty fancy! Not the captain’s level of fancy, though.”

“Sounds perfect! It’s right in between, “Rukia nodded, “Now more importantly, how was the booze?”

“Oh pretty good. Fancy enough to have some of the more fancy drinks, but not so fancy that you can’t get wasted on others.”

“Oh nice! You should have shown them to me sooner!”

Renji laughed, “Yeah probably, I was just waiting for a special occasion…” He said, looking at her warmly. Rukia nodded. She gave his hands a meaningful squeeze before removing them. She then gave his arm a tug.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” She said, enthusiastically, “That booze ain’t going to drink itself! Plus I want to try out the fancy drinks too!”

“Alright! Alright!” Renji chuckled. They exited the room together and began to walk down the Fourth Division Emergency Room halls. When they made it outside, the night sky was crisp and clear.

“Hey,” Renji began.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for asking me out. To be honest, I’ve liked you for a long time, like a really long time. And I figured out more recently, that you liked me too, but well…” Renji sighed and looked down, “After what happened to Captain Ukitake…well I saw how that affected you. How busy and tired and sad and stressed you were, and I…” he turned to look at her again, “well I wanted to support you anyway I could! But I wasn’t sure that romance was what you needed from me,” he looked down again and began rubbing the back of his neck, “And I didn’t want you to feel bad if you didn’t want or just weren't ready for a romantic relationship. So I tried to do my best to be there for you but also let you know that if that is something you did want,” he took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes, “that I’d always be here for you.”

“Ah…” Rukia breathed, “So that was it. That’s what I thought.”

“Yeah…sorry, I didn’t say that before.”

“Idiot, what are you apologizing for? You were trying to be considerate!” Rukia fussed at him, “Still…know in the future, you can always just talk to me about it. No more of this beating around the bush, alright?”

“Yeah…” Renji smiled, “Thanks, Ru.”

Rukia felt her ears burn a little at the nickname, “Idiot, w-what are you thanking me for! Now come one before there isn’t any booze left!” She said stomping off.

Renji chuckled, as he followed after her, “It’s a bar, Rukia, I doubt they are going to run out.”

“They are if I get there before you and drink it all!” Rukia said, breaking into a sprint.

“What?! Hey, you don’t even know where it is!” Renji said, sprinting after her.

“My shinigami alcohol sense will tell me!”

“That’s not even a real thing, Rukia! Hey, get back here!”

They raced each other all over the Seireitei. Soul King only knows if they ever even made it to that bar. But it matters not, for they were together.

[abysscronica]

Hi! I noticed that many people compare Luffy and Kid about personality and actions and many say that Kid is like an angry unlucky version of Luffy. Luffy had his struggles during his young life too but he was never mean towards others so I thought that Kid must have passed through some heavy stuff (with Killer and the others too since they act all in the same way basically) to became a bloodthirsty and cruel pirate, even without reason.

I wanted to ask you if you ever wondered about his past and if you have personal theories, not just the part related to Victoria's story, but also the one that maybe made him so suspicious and angry towards the world.

Thank you if you'll answer!

Okay, let's talk about this a little bit.

Considerations on Eustass Kid's character

Blaming Kid's cruelty on his traumatic past without taking into account One Piece logic or how Oda does things makes no sense. You can draw from the real world when analyzing these characters, but it doesn't work if you don't put everything in their own world's context. I've seen this done a lot here on tumblr, especially for Kid and Doflamingo, but let's focus on Kid for the sake of this ask.

Kid, together with Killer, Heat and Wire, had a horrible childhood that surely shaped them, but the truth is we have very little information about it. All we know comes from three SBS answers: Oda's drawing of them as kids, the one that first introduced Victoria as Kid and Killer's childhood crush, and the more recent one about their past. ALL the rest was inferred from it. Let's take this shot for example:

While Kid's appearance and ragged clothes are canon, the background is not. It's an interpretation by the anime staff. Did Kid live in a terrible place? Yes. We know that. Did it look like that? Possibly. No idea.

From the info we have, it looks like Kid had a worse past than Luffy. He lived in a place overrun by gangs, in poverty, where kids had no choice aside joining into the violence and try to survive. And Eustass Kid... fit well into such environment; he adapted to the point of becoming a baby-gang leader, just as Killer, Heat and Wire, and later on he even challenged the most powerful lords of the underworld and won. This doesn't diminish the hardships and suffering he went through, but it gives you an idea of his character.

Oda has played with the "nature vs. nurture" concept several times and, to be completely honest, while he absolutely doesn't discard the importance of trauma, he often leans toward the "nature" answer. The clearest example is found in Doflamingo and Rocinante. They faced the same hardships and still remained true to their original (opposite) nature. Yes, Kid has been through hell but he's hardly the only character. Nami, Sanji, Robin, Rocinante are just a few other examples - many of these arguably had it worse than Kid, and they aren't cruel nor rabid.

Even so, I don't mean to completely demolish the idea that Kid is a product of his past (although, on a personal note, I do believe that it diminishes his character). In fact, not everyone in One Piece could maintain their true nature in the face of hardship. For Oda, trauma is a trial to overcome, in a way, and there's not always a clear-cut direct answer as we see with the Strawhats, for example. One example over all is Law: he represents a case where trauma did break his nature for a while, until he had a chance to restore it (through Corazon).

I guess you could say that Kid was never offered such chance, buuuut do you honestly believe it? See, being offered a chance is not enough, you gotta be willing to take it and change. If I had to sum up Oda's baseline on this, I would say his process is based upon two main concepts: 1) your pain does not justify your actions; 2) everyone deserves a second chance as long as they're willing to change.

Think about Orochi and Mjosgard. I've talked about them in this post.

Hey, maybe Kid missed his chance. Maybe he didn't get one at the right time. Maybe he will. If you ask me, looking at the drawing of child Kid, I think it's pretty clear what route Oda was going for him. Look at that evil little gremling at tell me I'm wrong.

Another element I have for this is that, differently from other villains, Oda never took a moral stand against Kid. Despite his big talk, Kid is an ally in both the arcs he plays a decent role in (Sabaody and Wano). Sure, he's not good, but he's not that bad either. Kid was indeed meant to be a dark parallel of Luffy, a rival even. Too bad Oda just toyed with this interesting idea but never fully engaged with it. We know that the supernova were something he came up with overnight, they weren't planned until the last second, therefore there was no major role for them to play in the grand scheme of OP. Oda went with his whims for these characters (and I suspect the editors' *suggestions*, which are very much based on fan opinions), until he tried to jam as many of them as possible in Wano, with poor results. Kid, Drake, Apoo, Hawkins, heck, even Law... all their storylines in the arc are terrible. Incredibly, Killer is the one that got away with the best one, in my opinion. Especially in Kid's case, reading Wano felt like Oda was desperately trying to give him a role, and failed at it over and over. Eventually he just gave up and wrote his backstory down in the SBS, here, no point in trying further. I wonder whether he'll ever go back to this character and finally delve into him a little more, maybe give some closure to his arc. I certainly hope so, but who knows?

(I'm also not a fan of what Oda did with Kid after the timeskip, he was dumbed down a lot and part of his charm was forgotten, but oh well)

As for my personal theories on Kid's past, I do like to think that his family was caught up in the South Blue sweep for Ace's mother. It would click in so well with his character and the speech he gave at the slave auction in Sabaody.

That said, none of this takes away from my love for the character. Eustass Kid is and always will be my number one man.

[toa-ahkmou]

OOC: I think we're actually done this time.

Hello, everyone. I am @toaarcan, the writer behind both this blog, and @ghost-of-destiny. If you were a reader of either of these blogs, then you've probably noticed that everything has been very quiet for a while now.

I know some people are still enjoying what we did, because every day I get likes on some of the threads we did. And, unfortunately, I doubt there will be any more.

There's been a general decline in interest from all parties, in fact, I was one of the last ones consistently posting, as most other people just weren't around anymore. For some, Life Stuff just became too much of an obstacle. For others, the overall story was shifting in a different direction to what they'd been interested in. For some, it was just the sheer difficulty of being caught up on a story spread across a dozen blogs on a website that's actively hostile to searches.

That last one's pretty ironic considering that we were writing fanfic for a series that died because its story got too convoluted and hard to follow.

There's also another thing.

There was a D&D game. It went badly.

Actually, that's an oversimplification, but what happened was that a bunch of the most active and plot-critical players in what we referred to as "Tumblrverse" banded together to play D&D. We mostly used D&D-ified versions of our Bionicle characters and played by post on Discord. I will not be naming any names here besides my own, because I don't want this to feel like I'm airing other people's dirty laundry... but given that I have to make this disclaimer, you can probably tell that things went sideways.

At first, it worked really well! But we made one mistake right from the off: The chat was always running. It was always online. 24/7 D&D. If the DM wasn't around to make the bad guys do things, we were still active in there, chatting, shooting the breeze, and arguing. And for most of us, it took pretty much all of our creative juices.

The game, Ruins and Rahi, ran for about two years, of constant play, and things fell apart majorly toward the end, and a lot of those cracks first formed early on.

Fitting for a D&D game played by Tumblr people, there was a very "Yes, and" approach to things, and that translated to "Any player can introduce lore and suggest plot twists for their character, and everyone else just has to roll with it." We also made the critical mistake of not having a Session 0, and not establishing safety tools, so if one of these elements was an issue for someone else in the group... well, I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

Very early on, I basically introduced voluntary PvP into the game, as one of my characters had a freak-out and turned into a villain. I wanted to redeem this character, and I wanted it to be a slow, painful thing where she had to come to turns with her own morality and maybe backslide a few times. This did not work out. It mainly didn't work out because... well, I did kill another player character.

Now, this death was something the player chose to do, and was approved by the DM, and only then was it actually pitched to me. In terms of the chain of responsibility for that one, I was a solid third place of three people. Buuuut that didn't mean that it didn't become basically My Fault for the rest of the game.

This resulted in a lot of arguments, that ran for hours on end, and that's a problem in D&D because of character bleed.

In any D&D game, the player's personality and morality will bleed into their character. You've got to be real damn good to avoid it. This is why almost none of my evil characters stay evil. I just can't do it for long periods of time. And this means that, if you start having arguments in-character about the actions those characters took, eventually... you're just yelling at your friends. Often for things that either weren't entirely their fault, or weren't their fault at all.

By the time the game staggered to a close, everyone was kinda mad at each other, and there was no way to save it. The bad choices we'd all made without really talking to each other about it in advance finally became too heavy to ignore. Three of us dipped in quick succession and it collapsed in on itself.

And when you've spent several months wallowing in bitterness and half-sniping at each other, another collaborative writing project is somewhat hard to jump back into. Especially when you then make the collective decision to partake in a dedicated Discord channel for... oversharing and it immediately devolves into more sniping, this time without any veneer of roleplaying as someone else.

This is, in part, an open apology for the things I said and did during those few months, because I don't like the version of myself I became during that time. We were having fun with it until suddenly we weren't and it went too far. And it's left a bunch of us with irreconcilable differences and a few scars that mean that some of us just can't or won't talk to each other anymore. Like there are those among our number that literally can't be in the same space as each other anymore, and I've had to talk about R&R with my therapist, because as much as I'm still attached to some of the characters and some of the narrative, the way things fell apart is something that I dread a repeat of, both on my end, and on others'.

We made a few more attempts to get things rolling again on here after that. In fact, the False Flag megathread was entirely post-R&R, if I'm remembering right. But the life had gone out of it. False Flag was basically the only thread happening, and it slowed and slowed and slowed until it wasn't updating anymore either. I suggested maybe retooling the ending to turn it into more of a conclusion, but nothing more was done.

The Discord channel we used to use to plan stuff has been dead since May. We weren't talking about new threads, but about why the whole thing fell apart and what we could do to replace it. No suggestions for the latter stuck.

I think we're done. Not just me, but everyone else too.

ToaArcan, player of Ahkmou and Matoro, signing off.

[demonsfate]

Can I just say, from one Jin stan to the other, that you've been dropping banger after banger? You're doing gods work with your posts. And seriously, I'm OK if they're gonna make Jin the guy who had a "villain" phase (as long as it makes sense, but we all know it DIDN'T make much sense before). The only thing I'm not OK with is his sudden change of demeanor around the people who originally wanted to stop him, like you say, LARS. HOW ON EARTH did they become buddies??? Bc the only explanation I can think of is Jin saying he wasn't himself during the events of 6. Like maybe it was indirectly his fault bc he couldn't control DJ but that was still DJ. I can sort of believe Lars would buy that, after a long talk (if that was the case)? Either way I need the game/leaks/spoilers now bc instead of answers I'm getting more questions???? I know you must be tired of this topic but just wanted to let you know my thoughts

Thank you,,,,,,, and honestly it's glad to see other Jin stans who call out the BS of the writing instead of just turning to Hate the character. Jin was a really wonderful character! And it's just depressing to see how hated he is because of that awful Character Assassination.

I just think that making Jin a villain already ruins his character, no matter how it's written. Just because Jin was a character who was supposed to be the Good Mishima (before Jinpachi and Lars came into the series) and Jin was also meant to be a bit of a contrast to Kazuya's character. Also, Jin's a Kazama, too. By making him a vilain, it just shatters all of those very important points to the story.

Buuuut... let's just ignore that and say even if Jin being a villain made sense, Tek6 literally does the worst execution of it. As I've explained multiple times here; his motivations quickly fall apart when you start to really think about it. He's also extremely inconsistent - and I don't just mean compared to the entire series, I mean even in that one game alone, he's extremely inconsistent, and his character's just all over the place. It's all poorly written even IF Jin being a bad guy made sense or if he was always the bad guy. It's sad there exists lots who can't criticize it more, or just take it as canon and expect us all to, as well.

That's why I thought they were gonna retcon it; Lars being friendly with Jin WOULD make more sense if he found out Jin was either being "controlled" or his body was taken over. Because he'll realize Jin feels guilty over something that wasn't directly his fault. And, well... Alisa may help Lars understand the situation, as Alisa was forced to do bad things (such as try to kill Lars) while under the control of somebody else. Lars cares for Alisa, and realizes she'd never do such a thing otherwise. I feel that would make him more sympathetic toward Jin. And there you go! That's a way to explain why Lars is nicer to Jin all of a sudden, and how to make the protagonist not a fucking war criminal.

I did say I would talk more about Tek6 SHOULD the game give me more reason to. And sadly... Tek8 ABSOLUTELY gave me more reason to bring it up. Unfortunately, it did for all of us. But yeahhhh... I also just wish the game was here so I can rip the band-aid off already. I gotta know if they're really still going with the "I did the war to destroy the devil gene!" Or if that first four minutes is out of context, and there's actually much to learn.

[suga-kookiemonster]

Hey, I just wanted to stop by and say I’ve binged a bunch of your fics recently and genuinely your writing is probably some of my favorite I’ve read for bts. your narratives are always so damn fun, i’m fr constantly laughing out loud, but then the next moment you have the ability to completely 180 the vibe? it gets serious and angsty and MAAAAAAN oh my god i loved it. and you do a really good job of portraying the boys. i see you haven’t written in a while and that’s absolutely okay, it really be like that,(i get it, i’m a writer too. actually trying to venture into writing some of my own bts fics) BUUUUT i need you to know, should you start posting bts stories again, i will 100% be here waiting to devour them. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

ahh, this is giving me all the warm and fuzzies inside 🥺🥺😭😭💜 it's messages like this that really motivate me to keep pushing when i wonder if it's even worth it anymore 🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much for taking the time to read my fics, and to send me this wonderful ask! last year was super busy and so i didn't get the chance to write as much as i liked, but i am actively working on things now (however slowly that process is 😭). i really hope to have something for you all to read soon, so i can get back into the groove of posting.

hope your writing goes well too--we got this!! 💪🏾