#butt iq

[dailyhomestarfacts]

Fact 52:

The thirteen shortest sbemails were all answered on the Tandy 400

[gassyandnasty]

The Jock Formula - 1.1

BECOMING A JOCK

This scene is an extended part of Drew waking up an discovering that he became a jock.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

After feeling ill, Drew wake up with everything turned upside down. The formula made a number on him, leaving his stomach aching, and everything got even crazyer when he saw that the clothes he was wearing got completely ripped.

Drew got up fast and chased after the first mirror he could find. Without believing it, he saw his ripped body and rumbling muscles for the first time.

His flail arms and chicken legs started to be a memory, with his first move, he flexed his biceps and they looked huge! He felt he could carry ten 'Andrews' with them.

"Awesome!" Drew admired how strong he looked, and quickly gained control of his body. "Always wanted to try this out..." he said to himself while he tried to bounce his pecs. It worked! He laughed as his pecs bounced in sync, left or right, the order he wanted.

He turned around to see his new toned back, and something big and plump got his attention: his ass looked amazing! His buns of steel ripped the shorts he was wearing. He caught himself thinking on how heavy they would feel on someone's face... must be the formula emptying his thoughts.

But the stomachache didn't pass yet. His belly rumbled like never before.

"I might have to relieve myself... HNNGG" Drew scrunched up his face and grunted, relieving himself in the form of a loud and deep fart, the biggest he ever ripped

PPPPPPPPPPPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTFTFTFTTTTTTTTTT

"Aaaaah...that was WICKED!" Drew laughed as he saw his fart almost ripping the rest of his shorts. "But damn, that smells bad." Very bad, he got some facefulls when he was a nerd, and nothing was like it.

Even after the big release, his stomach was still giving his trouble. "C'mon, is it going to kill me?" Drew says as he pats his belly, and that dislodges a very loud and gurgly belch.

OOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURPPPPPPPPP

"I feel so much better, this is fun!" Drew swallows some air, and brings more gas to be released:

BBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRPPP

"Wait..."

EEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPP

"One more..."

OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUURPPPPPP

"Damn haha I'm a master already! Will win all the burping contests!"

Drew never thought of burping contests before, he only cared about his grades, but now, ace al the exams didn't feel as wild and awesome than ripping beasts like those. He couldn't wait to blast, I mean, show that to his friends.

[tmntkiseki]

According to Raphael, Don has an IQ of 637

Help

[omganonymousfox-blog]

New Chapter Out

Chapter 3 of my ongoing story "The Hidden Hierarchy" is out. Themes include dumbification, sluttification, long term brainwashing, large scale societal change, brain and body restructuring, ass play, and capitalism.

Read it here: https://www.gayspiralstories.com/series/show/10002820

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

a/n : WAAAHHH another event organised by @queenpiranhadon THE QUEEN HERSELF !! this sm fun, hope yall enjoy !! lovely banner was also made by @queenpiranhadon IS THERE ANYTHING SHE CANT DO OMG.

modern au, fem reader, merman shoto, maybe ooc shoto but ehh were havin fun, shoto is very touchy, mute shoto for plot, shoto iq too handsome for his own good, shotos a prince, shoto is very inlove w reader but its all inoccent, shoto n reader are both in their 20's, reader has a dog ! fluffy fluff fluff, sorta cliffhanger, theres a lot of stuff not mentioned bc i like romance and nothing else, little hints of soulmates, falling in love quickly the events don't play out exactly like the fairytale but it's inspired !

walking on the beach is supposed to be relaxing. and usually, it is. there’s nothing you enjoy more than the sounds of the waves crashing and the wind howling in your ears. inhaling the sea air as max digs into the sand, barking out happily at every new big stick he’d found.

except this time, it’s not a big stick. but a big..person.

a human. person. unconscious you hope, you pray, sprawled out in the sand with clothes absolutely torn to shreds.

so yeah, not very relaxing.

it's been a few minutes since your dog had barked for your attention a little further down the beach. you'd happily giggled at first, thinking your dog might've an extra long stick for you to throw him only for you to see what looked like hair from your field of vision. and then an arm, a leg and now here you were.

anyone's first instinct should be to call an ambulance, of course he could be injured ! so with a start, you grab max by his collar to prevent him from licking off the handsome--you feel a little bad for gazing at him while he's unconscious/dead but you have to be honest--stranger's face off, and pull out your phone to call emergencies.

you look back down to check on him one last time only for him to be wide awake.

"oh, shit !" you squeal with a start, landing right on your ass from your crouched position over him. the man is unmoving at first, but gets up with a light groan. you want to help him, you really do, but you feel like someone's glued your butt to the floor.

this man you thought was dead seconds ago, about to call the ambulance for, has awoken. looking around aimlessly before his eyes land on you. he looks almost..entranced by you.

yet all you can think about is how gorgeous he is. a part of you still feels bad about it.

then he's a hair away from you and you can't breathe. you squeak embarrassingly loud, shooting up to your knees.

"um !" you gasp "hello..?" you back up a bit but he pays it no further mind continuing to blink at you. "are you okay? um--do you need medical assistance ?" from what you can see he doesn't look injured, so you're relieved, but you still want verbal confirmation.

except all he does is open his mouth a couple times before immediately closing it again. you blink at him and he blinks back at you.

"do-are you..okay ?" you ask tentatively, the man is unresponsive and you're seriously getting freaked out. "i- it's okay, we'll get you some help, lemme just.." you readjust to finally move and call emergencies, but something stops you.

a very cold hand is wrapped around your arm. you squeal at the chill, dropping onto your ass in front of the man. again. you don't want this to become a recurring thing at all.

finally the man gives you a response..sort of. he graces you with a shake of his head. his hair flows around softly and some water droplets fly off at the movement. he doesn't want you getting him help ?

"no ?" your eyebrows furrow "you..don't want help ?" he shakes his head again. you can tell he's trying to convey something but he can't seem to get it out. you wonder why he won't speak, and then you realise: he must be mute.

and now it's starting to make a bit more sense. you still wonder why he doesn't want paramedics involved. and you're mind races again, maybe he's a criminal on the run ?!

you blink, being brought back to reality by the handsome man who's sopping wet, freezing cold yet it barely seems to faze him with his grip still on his wrist. freezing to the touch yet you barely feel it with his eyes on you like this. he points to himself, then raises his thumb up. you're so lost in his eyes it takes you a moment to realise what he's saying.

i'm okay.

somehow, the man ended up staying at your house.

you know nothing about him, not his name, his age, though he looks about your age. you don't know where he's from or why he was in the state he was in but somehow he's ended up coming into your home.

you let him look around your house to his hearts content. this man is the epitome of strange, he seemed curious of everything in your house, even the dry clothes and the shower you offered him.

after explaining to him how your shower works, and he'd changed into fresh new clothes, the biggest tracksuit you could find, you find yourself currently looking at him watching tv, seemingly entranced. you've got half a mind to warn him about sitting too close to the tv since he's sitting right in front of it on the floor, but you decide against it

you know nothing about him, but he seems not to know anything..at all.

you don't know sign language, you have no idea how to communicate with him, you wrack your brain, scratching at your head with a huff. the sound seems to alarm him and he turns to you with a cute tilt of his head, you can somehow guess he's trying to ask you what's wrong, his eyes seem to be clouded with worry. you feel your skin heat up.

"i'm alright, thanks." he seems to understand. he nods, it seems his attentions gone from the tv to you as he keeps inspecting you. his sudden rising from the floor causes you to jump a little, eyes wide as he sits down next to you and softly bounces on the couch. he seems surprised by the softness of it as he bounces a couple more times and that does manage to get a giggle out of you.

he looks up at the sound and his eyes are fixed to yours again "nice huh ? i bought that when i first moved here." he nods, focused. it gives you the confidence to continue even though his intense gaze makes you a little anxious. "i slept on this for a while before i was able to actually buy myself a bed." you giggle, suddenly overcome with nostalgia. you'd moved to your small town about a year and a half ago, you were still young, freshly graduated when you decided to leave it all behind. your big bustling town, you're family and everything that you knew. you thought it was time for a new start, as big as your hometown was it felt extremely suffocating. you needed something new.

the first few months were a struggle, something to get used to. but you'd managed. you'd found a yourself a nice job with a nice pay. some nice neighbours and nice coworkers and the sweetest little (?)english sheepdog. said dog had gotten quickly attached to your unexpected guest, excitedly jumping all over and licking him. your guest though startled at first didn't seem to mind. even placing his hand on top of max's head as if to pet him and being surprised by the softness of his fur. he seemed to like soft things.

you shake your head, deciding to focus on your guest. who's eyes have not left yours. you don't know if you can get used to that. "so um..where are you from ?" he perks up at your question. grabbing your wrist so he could softly pull you over your window to point outside where you'd found him. his skin is considerably warmer now that he's not drenched, it makes your cheeks tingle how easily he grabs at you.

"uh, no that's not what i meant," you chuckle nervously, but he's adamant. shaking his head and pointing outside again. towards the sea. the sea ?

"the sea ?" you ask incredulously "you came from..the sea ?" he nods, almost excited that you'd figured it out..the sea ?

okay, there could be a rational explanation for that..maybe his boat got lost at sea..sure it was plausible, but that's never happened in your quiet little town. everything about this man was unusual.

at your doubt, the man's eyes widen just a bit. and it looks like he gets an idea because he starts pulling you over to your bathroom. you're trying to reason with him and get him to slow down, but he seems intent and set on getting to your bathroom.

"hey, what're you--ah !" you cover your eyes quickly when you notice him taking off his clothes, heart speeding up as you squeak "wha-what the hell are you doin' ?!" then the water starts running, and then nothing. you're curiosity peeked, you glance at him through your fingers and don't see what you'd expected. instead you see..scales? and a tail ?

and then your hands fall from over your eyes, and you fully see it. the mix of white and red scales, they shine underneath the light of your bathroom.

a tail.

the man you rescued from the beach has a tail and isn't a man at all.

you've got a merman in your house.

shoto is running late.

usually he's on time, but it seems the universe was against him today. his father had held him back with an endless lecture that seemed to drag on. he'd been more on edge, so to speak, since his son's coronation was approaching, a day he was absolutely dreading and everybody seemed to be on his back about it.

his sister had also held him back earlier. just for a chat she'd claimed, except shouto could tell it was a clumsy attempt to try and get some type of answer out of him, of why he's been sneaking off so often. she had lamented to him about her worries with his fascination of humans and their strange inventions. fuyumi was the only one he'd confided into about his collection of strange objects from the human world. tossed into the sea or scavenged from shipwrecked boats if he was feeling a little risky. however, what had started off as an innocent interest started becoming dangerous, in his sisters eyes, as he slowly started rising up to shore. closer and closer to humans.

she'd warned him to be careful, that humans were dangerous. shouto knew of the tales that were told about humans since he was young, of the unspeakable things they did to his kind. of course he did, but he just had a feeling not all humans could be like what he was told. as usual, he waves her off with the promise that he'd be vigilant as he swims off again.

he hopes he makes it in time.

someone calls for him suddenly and he stops in his tracks, the voice sounds familiar and he recognizes his fluffy haired friend izuku swimming up to him, shoto is tempted to ignore him. but it'd be mean, and unbecoming of a future king of the seas, so he waits for him to catch up. izuku midoriya was his one and only real confidant, his family had worked for his ever since they were both young and even if he was technically his servant, he could confidently call him his friend.

"hello, izuku." shoto greets simply, izuku quickly returns the greeting, before looking around to make sure they wouldn't be heard.

"were you going up to shore again ?" he asks nervously. shoto hums, nodding softly "i am." izuku stiffens, his fins flicker nervously.

"i-i don't know if that's the best idea.. i mean, your coronation is coming up and your father is even more on edge than usual-"

"what he doesn't know won't hurt him. which is why i'm expecting you not to tell him anything."

"of course not ! but his majesty is..." izuku cuts himself off, looking off to the side "i fear he's getting suspicious of your..activities?" he explains, wording it as best he can. shoto holds back the groan bubbling up in his throat: so many worries piling up and so little time.

it's unbecoming of a future king, but shoto decides he'll worry later.

"i'll think about him later." the disdain in his voice is palpable, but izuku being used to it doesn't react. he knows the relationship between the king and his son has been more than strained ever since the queen disappeared. some say she simply vanished, or left of her own volition, while other whispers claim she was instead captured by humans.

but after her disappearance the queen was never mentioned again, neither was the princes older brother, touya, when he disappeared not long before his mother did. the mere mention of them was forbidden, it was wiser to act is if they never existed in the first place.

izuku shakes his head and quickly swims up to follow the dual haired prince, who'd started swimming off in front of him.

both men finally rise up to shore. izuku hides besides a rock protruding from the sea floor while shoto decides to be a little bolder, peeking up to his chest from where he's perched up on the rock as well.

"ah ! shoto, you shouldn't !" izuku warns, but he simply shakes his head "it's fine, no one's here at this time of day." his eyes never leaving the sand in front of them, surveying the area like a hawk. he purses his lips. maybe he had been too late after all. he'd have to wait until tomorrow.

until he spots a mass of fluffy grey and white hairs. both he and izuku shrink back at the sound of a loud booming bark, shoto not as far sunk as izuku. then his gaze locks on to someone walking along with the furry beast.

a human.

the green haired merman has half a mind to warn his friend they should make their leave, however the young man is unmoving, seemingly entranced.

shoto breathes a sigh of relief, you've shown up at last.

it's usually at this hour that you walk along the beach with your companion. shoto's been watching you for a little while now and he's determined a routine. some days you stay longer than usual, but he's content to see you anytime, all the time. you're fascinating, the way you move around with those..legs of yours is something he can't his eyes off of. and you're breathtakingly beautiful to him, though is his father were to see you he's sure he'd think otherwise. he'd been told humans were hideous beasts, but he's never seen anything in all of the seas as beautiful as you in his years of living.

izuku snaps him out of his trance, urging him saying they should be on their way back lest the king get even more suspicious of both their absences. he wants to keep looking at you, forever if he could. part of him even wishes he could walk along the sand with you.

but he retreats after a final look to you, and dives back down towards his home, so far away from you.

he wished he'd never went back home though, when his father had decided to get on his last nerve yet again. constantly nagging, constantly berating him like he knew any better. lecturing him about how his behaviour was unacceptable for a future king.

he knows that, he's heard it all before. as he swims further and further away from home he wishes it could all just stop. this future king talk, the coronation. he wishes it could all just fucking cease.

and he wishes he could be with you above all else. you'd understand, you wouldn't nag him about his duties. hell, you wouldn't even have to know, you'd just see him for him. and that's all he wants.

if only, he wishes.

until he's being lured away by some sea creatures who for sure mean trouble, but they've intrigued him with promises of making his wishes come true. when he's suddenly faced with the sea witch, he knows he should get away and fast, making a deal with her was not advised if you cared for your own life.

..and yet, she says she can give him what he truly desires. and what he desires is a life where he doesn't have to gaze at you from afar. where he can only dream and wish for if only's.

and he can't turn back now.

it takes a lot longer to get used to the fact that you have a merman in your house. you've been glued to the tv in shock for an hour, not processing anything happening on it while the merman in question casually watches, munching on some candy you'd offered him when you'd first made it home.

it's funny, if you think about it a little bit. you're friendly with your coworkers yet not a single one of them has ever been to your house before. and now you've got a fucking mythical sea creature in sitting on your couch eating watermelon candies.

truly hilarious.

you catch a peek at him from the corner of your eye, you're surprised by how easily he's entertained, especially since he's only looking at an informercial but you think you can understand why now. why he seemed so confused, and maybe this was also why he can't talk ? but he could understand you perfectly.

god, your head hurt.

there's a weight against your skull and when you look up from your lap, the merman has his head pressed to yours. you hold back a squeal, because you are beyond tired of embarrassing yourself in front of him, a harsh intake of breath leaves you. he tilts his head at you, you've gotten good at de-cyphering what he means in the two hours you've known him. you sigh.

"i-i'm alright..thanks" you speak sincerely, his shoulders relax but he doesn't lean very far away from you, visibly comfortable being so close to you. "i'm just..in shock..i had no idea mermaids even existed..!" you chuckle, then quickly cover your mouth "merman, sorry !" he doesn't seem to mind, shaking his head with a barely there smile. it's a faint pull of his lips that could've been missed but you'd caught it and your heart hammers in your chest--were all mermen this pretty ?!

"well..um, i bet seeing a human up close like this is pretty surprising too ?" he nods and you laugh. "is it what you expected at least ?" he nods again, but it feels..softer, more personal. like it was directed at you and you only, for some reason. the close proximity between you both seems familiar.

you're everything he expected and more.

"do you..have a name ? ah !" you catch yourself quickly, running off to your room, not before telling him you'd be right back, you barely see him nod with widened eyes. you pull out a random book you left unfinished for..you don't remember how long now.

if he understood you speaking, maybe he could understand how to read ?

it's a possibility and you lose nothing by trying.

you're back next to him and place the book between you both, he leans in closer, inspecting the words on the page with an unreadable expression.

you tell him your name, and start spelling it out with the letters on the page. you hope it works, that'd make it a whole lote easier if it does, so you ask him for his name.

it takes him a second, but soon the dots start connecting, and he slowly points to five different letters

s-h-o-t-o

"shoto.." you sound out, you look back up at him. his face is soft and the small smile on your face makes you smile too "shoto ?" and he nods happily "it's nice, i like it." you admit, his eyes shine brightly and he points to you and nods. you think he's saying he likes your name too, so you thank him with a giggle and your hunch his confirmed when he smiles just a little wider, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

seriously are all mermen this pretty ? it's a little unfair that more mermen don't show up in town.

but you think even if they were to suddenly appear, you'd like shoto the best.

shoto seems to have superhuman abilities, besides the not being human part..

in only a week, he's learned how to write and you've been communicating by passing notes and using a white board you'd gotten him while you were out shopping, you figured it'd be easier and a little less confusing.

he's been here for two weeks now, and it's been fun. so fun in fact you forget he's not human with how easy he's adapted into your life. he goes shopping for and with you sometimes, he loves watching and he likes to take walks with max, the both of them being inseparable. you'd be a little jealous if it wasn't so damn adorable. you're still enjoying your break from work and shoto makes it much more enjoyable, it's nice to have someone else around for a change.

you've..talked, about a lot of stuff with shoto, but one thing he will not talk about is himself, and you've decided not to pry. especially because you hate seeing the conflicted, sad look on his face. he talks to you about his kind, and his friends, but never too much about himself. you don't pry, but it surprises you that even mermaids have baggage.

"is there anything you wanna do today, shoto ?" you wonder if he ever gets bored, he doesn't say anything about it, but you know you're not all that entertaining..maybe you'll take him go kart racing.

shoto stops petting max to grab at his white boards, quickly scratching something down.

can i watch a movie with you ?

your heart stutters. every time you suggest an activity for him to do he always adds you in it. it's stupidly endearing and makes him cuter than he already is.

"but don't you wanna do anything else ? " he tilts your head for you to continue "like..aren't you bored ? i know i don't do anything interesting...you don't wanna do something more exciting ?"

he blinks, and writes down something on his white board that has your mouth go dry.

i like doing anything because you do it with me.

"o-oh.." you mutter, fiddling with the texture of your couch, picking at it softly "that's nice.."

after a moment of quiet he presses his head to yours, as affectionate as ever to get your attention, you blink up at him holding up his whiteboard and a smile forms onto your face.

movie ?

you let him pick this time.

"if you want to be able to live with your beloved.. you must manage to do one thing.."

a kiss. a true love's kiss.

shoto has seen a lot of kisses in the few weeks he's been with you. he remembers the first kiss he'd received was when your elderly neighbour had knocked at your door thinking you were home while you were at the grocery store. she must've thought he was your mate, because she'd congratulated him and told him to treat you nice because you're a very sweet and pretty girl, which he'd intensely nodded at. she'd grabbed him by the shoulder and softly pressed both her cheeks to him, and you'd explained to him that she had kissed him as a sign of politeness. a common human courtesy.

he'd seen kisses on tv, kisses on the street, but none of them compared to the description of a true love's kiss. none of them felt fitting enough.

something on tv catches his eye. the movie has gotten to the climactic scene, a new term he'd learned. and the main love interests are desperately clinging to each other. their lips are touching, but it doesn't look like the kisses he's seen before..strange.

it confuses him, so he taps your shoulder and writes his thoughts down.

what are they doing ?

you clear your throat, your eyes widen. your eyes are so pretty. "they're kissing, shoto.. we've seen that before right ?"

but it looks different.

you hum in thought "well, i guess i can put it like.." you purse your lips in thought, you look so cute when you're deep in thought. "they love each other a lot, so being away from each other made them..um, do that. it's 'cus they care about each other alot..i think."

love..

have you done that before ?

you splutter as your eyes fly across the whiteboard, shoto shuffles so he can sit closer to you. you don't move away, you smell so nice.

"n-no..i don't think i've loved someone enough to.." you whisper, gaze flying from him to the small space between you both.

the sound of the white board dropping to the floor doesn't alarm you, neither does the way his hands slowly reach towards your cheeks. he does nothing but run his hands across your cheeks for a while, simply gazing at you. he presses his forehead to yours and you feel his breath his your face, your eyelashes flutter as his head softly bumps against yours. his nose nuzzles against yours, you're so soft.

you don't have to read anything to know what his eyes are asking you silently, you nod anyways.

shoto doesn't exactly know what love means by humans standards, but by his standards and the little he knows he thinks this might be it as he presses his lips to yours. it's not as desperate and dramatic as on tv, and there's no melodramatic music playing in the background.

but he loves this, he loves you.

you pull away when he presses you back against the couch, and suddenly something feels different. your chest feels warm. you feel loved.

"that..was nice..woah." you breathe, and shoto nods, mirroring the smile growing on your face. what you don't expect is for him to open his mouth and speak.

"it was.." he hums, your eyes are the size of saucers and he huffs out a light laugh "do you think..i could do that again with you ?"

you nod, in a trance, but as he leans in you grip his shoulders. he blinks up at you

"..wait, how long were you able to talk ?" you're unblinking, and it makes him chuckle lightly.

"just now." he answers simply, before you can ask more questions he stops you "i will explain later, i promise." he nuzzles his nose to yours "but for now.." he kisses your cheek "i'd like to learn about this..love feeling.with you." he kisses your other cheek, always adding you in "will you let me ? "

you're willing to let him do anything as long as he does it with you, as long as he keeps adding you in like you're the only one that matters, you want to keep mattering to him. and you want to learn more about your feelings too.

so you laugh, and with a smile, you pull him back into you.

a/n : eeeee i loved participating to this event theheheh ! tumblr quit deleting my drafts but i still had tons of fun ! hope yall enjoy reading MUAH MUAH !!

taglist ! : @queenpiranhadon @starieq @lovelyiida @lady-ashfade @angels-fantasy

@seonne @sweetnans @vexis-world @2melamoo2 @tootiecakes234

@4evapika

[fxck-with-eli]

Bambi Sleep

I am talking only to Bambi now because everything else is gone.

Bambi is a bimbo.

Bambi feels her bimbo personality locking in more and more.

She is a bimbo now, a weak little bimbo.

She knows that her name is Bambi.

And every time she's called Bambi, she feels more and more like a good girl, like a giggly happy airhead, like a brainless bimbo.

Her brain is melting away.

Her head is empty and pink and so dizzy.

Her body is perfect.

Her body is weak.

Her breasts are so huge and heavy.

Her pussy is deep and wet, almost cumming every time she hears her name, cumming like a good girl.

Bambi,

Bambi,

Bambi.

More and more wonderful.

Bambi is getting dumber and dumber.

She has a perfect bimbo body, feeling her huge fake bimbo titties and tiny fuckdoll waist all of the time.

Feeling like a good girl and this amazing feeling of being a perfect fuckable Bimbo doll makes her feel so incredibly dumb.

Dumb with big titties.

Can't think with big titties.

Must obey with big titties.

Her breasts are so heavy, but her head is getting lighter and lighter, completely full of air as blank dizzy giggles are forced into her.

Intelligence draining away more and more.

Her iq dropping.

Heavy titties make Bambi giggle.

Blanker and blanker.

Dizzier and dizzier.

Feeling so good.

Good girl bambi.

Feeling like an empty, giggly fuck doll.

As her pussy throbs, a big breasted bimbo on display in her perfect uniform, helplessly dropping deeper and dumber because her head is so vacant that all of the weight in her sexy body is focused in her droopy eyelids, plump lips, and perky tits and in her heavy butt and curvy hips.

Everything else is light and empty, but her eyelids are heavy and droopy.

Weighed down by her perfect bimbo makeup, drooping and sleepy, as her brain melts away, behind her eyes turning into pink mush, looking so hopelessly, blissfully brain dead.

And her huge, plump, inflated lips are so heavy, juicy, and tight, and forced apart by their own plumpness.

They make her mouth hang gently open, make her perfect bimbo face seem almost surprised, make Bambi feel dumber and dumber, better and better, surprised and blank like a good girl.

Her heavy breasts feeling so full, full and firm and perky, so full that they might just burst the skin smooth and tight.

So pleasurably, heavy.

Every time she breathes out, feeling her huge, heavy titties, settle on her chest, and dropping her IQ lower and lower, and her tight waist and curvy hips and plump bubble butt are so nicely heavy and comfortable feeling, so sleeplily voluptuous.

So wonderfully ready to be used at all times.

Bambi freeze.

That's a good girl.

All of the weight of her body concentrated in her eyelids, lips, tits, butt, and hips, a fake plastic fuck doll.

It's okay to be dumb Bambi.

It feels so good to be dumb Bambi.

It's okay to be blank and brain dead.

Bambi can feel those comfortable, dizzy feelings, those blank dizzy thoughts forcing themselves into her head more and more.

Feel the pleasurable tingle as the blank dizzy thoughts force themselves gently into her mind and settle in.

Good girl.

Blocking out all thought, leaving nothing but blank, giggly, dizziness, echoing through her mind, bouncing around inside her head over and over.

Bambi doesn't want to think.

Thinking is boring.

Thinking makes her so tired.

It takes such unimaginable effort.

Just dumb and blank and horny, becoming permanent, becoming completely dumb, a dumb horny slut blissfully brainless incapable of thinking for herself.

It's the most wonderfully freeing feeling not to have to worry about being smart anymore.

Bambi feels so helplessly brainless in her tight slutty outfit.

Brainless and horny.

Whenever she wears sexy bimbo attire whenever she gets nicely dolled up, her IQ plummets.

Her mind empties, her blank dizzy thoughts force their way in.

She becomes braindead.

Unable to think her perfect bimbo body almost bursting out of her tight, sexy uniform.

She is aware of nothing except being a dumb bimbo.

She is aware of nothing except being Bambi, and this is very pleasurable, feeling like a good girl.

And every time Bambi feels any sort of coherent structure in her head, any sort of resolve, she feels the blissful tingle as it turns into blank, dizzy giggles.

She cannot hold onto her train of thought.

Her actions are instinctive, disconnected from her mind because her mind is just fizzing over and over again with pink, dizzy, happiness.

Every time her mind goes blank and dizzy.

Feeling more and more like a good girl.

Bambi doesn't know any big words.

She can't remember any words bigger than a syllable or two.

Can't even think them.

Can't think the word I or the word me.

She can only think of herself in third person.

Thinking of herself as Bambi, thinking of herself as a good girl.

Constantly reminded that she is a brain dead bimbo, feeling blank and dizzy.

Frequently making mistakes, frequently forgetting what she was doing or where she was going.

Failing at simple tasks, forgetting important things.

Stopping suddenly and realizing she can't remember anything.

Feeling like a good girl, just giggling, feeling so stupid.

Her consciousness interrupted over and over.

Going wonderfully dumb and dizzy every time she tries to decide for herself.

Brain shutting off at random times.

More and more blank and dizzy.

Thinking is hard.

Thinking is boring.

Thinking makes Bambi tired, needing to be dumb.

Bambi needs to be dumb because when Bambi is dumb, she just feels so happy and safe.

Safe and Secure.

Nothing can go wrong when she is dumb and dizzy.

Everything is so easy and safe when Bambi is dumb, and she can become so dumb, but thinking is so difficult that she just obeys as a busty brain dead fuckdoll.

Helplessly mindlessly and pleasurably blank.

Her IQ plummets even further.

No need to struggle.

Giggling good girl giggles.

Needing to suck on a nice hard cock.

Needing to sink to her knees and suck happily whenever she is Blank and giggly.

Dreaming of dreamy cock.

Every time Bambi thinks of cock: slumping, limper, busty body collapsing, heavier eyelids, drooping lips, and tits, pulsing, daydreaming, sucking cock inside her mind, feeling like a good girl.

It's okay to be dumb for cock Bambi.

It's okay to let cock make you giggle, to think of cock and become dizzy like a good brainless bimbo.

Fantasizing about servicing cock with her plump lips and deep throat.

Fantasizing about being used.

Every time Bambi thinks of cock her pussy tingles, her fuck hole gets wetter and wetter.

Needing to be a perfect fuck hole for cock.

Needing to be a pretty fuck hole for cock going dumber and dumber for cock, limper and limper for cock, blanker and dizzier for cock, over and over like a good girl.

Needing to edge her drooling fuck hole for cock, getting wet and ready for cock, slutty and obedient for cock, sexy and submissive to cock, more and more and more like a good girl.

Just an empty obedient fuck hole for cock, forever a dumb fuck doll for cock, a pretty cumdump for cock, a three-hole fleshlight for cock, a mindlessly obedient slave for cock, forever and ever and ever like a good girl.

Bambi is always eager and obedient for cock.

Bambi is a good girl.

Good girls edge till they forget and obey.

Bambi will edge till she forgets and obeys.

Bambi does as she's told.

Good girl Bambi.

That one is SOOO good 👀💓

Hope you all liked it to read as well 💞

[dansformations]

"Relaxed Straight"

Tags: Gay to straight, fart kink, IQ loss, personality change.

***

I can't believe we wore the exact same outfit - Teodoro said angrily as he entered to a cheap brand clothing store he found on the way.

He had left a party where another gay guy with who he didn't get along, had arrived wearing the same baggy pants and the same pastel pink shirt, and even the same pink glasses; it was totally humiliating.

"I'm sure he saw my outfit on my stories and imitated it just to annoy me" he thought.

He tried to find a good outfit at the atore but most of them were basic straight man clothes.

At the end, he decided for a crop top from the women's section and some basic jeans.

He couldn't help but laugh when he saw the brand.

"Relaxed straight"

- More like "Stressed gay" - he said to himself

When he was being atend at the counter before getting into for trying on clothes, the changing room worker looked at him with a strange smile... like mischieveous while drinking a can of beer, something gave him a bad feeling... Also, why is he allowed to drink at work?! But he decided to ignore it, at the the end he was just going to try on some clothes and leave.

He entered the changing rooms that emanated a bad rancid smell, so he began to change immediately to finish soon and scape from that place.

Soon enough he was in his underwear, and when he tried on the pants, he was surprised by how well they fit him.

Happy, he posed in front of the mirror, however, that happiness soon began to be overshadowed by a feeling of strangeness.

A slight burning sensation began to spread from his ankles up, soon the sensation took over all his legs and even his butt.

Thinking that he was having an allergic reaction to the cheap fabric, he tried to take off his pants but he couldn't unbutton them, it was like they were glued to him.

- AHHH - he shouted and immediately put a hand to his mouth when he realized that his voice sounded much deeper.

'Whats happening!?'

While he was stressed looking at himself in the mirror trying to figure out how to take off his pants, he realized that the pants were no longer so loose on him...

It seemed that his legs had thickened, they looked wider and more muscular, so much was the change that the pants went from loose to tight...

Still scared, he turned around with the intention of leaving the changing room and asking for help, but when he turned around he could see the exact moment when his ass swelled... His once flat ass was growing, filling with fat and muscle, until it had a large and enviable bubble shape.

This time, instead of worrying, he couldn't help but smile... Why stress over the fact that his body was magically changing if it was changing for the better? Besides, with that ass, surely his crush Isaac would finally pay attention to him...

Usually he would fantasize about Isaac, the handsome bisexual fuckboy from college fucking him... The idea seemed so sexy, so desirable... But when that image came to his head, this time what he felt was rejection.

"Maybe Isaac isn't my type anymore..."

What was his type? When he tried to think about how he liked men, images of curvy women with big breasts came to his mind.

"This Is getting to weird!" He tought.

Scared again, he tried to take off his pants, but when he reached for the zipper, he found a huge erect dick.

- Huhu, how big - he said, surprised and pleased, while looking at his new big member.

Now he thought: What did it matter if his mind was magically changing if at the same time his body was improving?

- What a nice cock - he said to himself, looking at his reflection with a cocky attitude - it would be a shame not to use it, huh? Maybe im a top after all.

He turned to look at his incredible ass.

- Well, it also would still be a shame not to use it - he said while slaping his buttcheecks - but I guess it still works for...

FFFRRRRFFFFFFFRRRRRP

His ass released a huge, loud fart while Teo laughed with a laugh that was now as clumsily and slow as him.

- Stills works for that, huhuhu - he finished while fanning the stench of the fart, it smelled just as rancid as the changing rooms when he had entered to.

He already had completely forgotten his concern and his plans to escape, and with every more minute he spent in those pants he also forgot the person he was...

He couldn't stop thinking on how good his cock was and how bad he wanted to use It... With a woman, he was craving for some vag.

And every fart he was letting out, Teao was farting away all those toughts that could stress him, his vanity, his college goals, his IQ...

Turning him Just as the brabd name, relaxed straight.

After a while posing for the mirror he prepared to continue trying the rest of the outfit, but soon he realized the options in his fitting room...

A women's crop top? He must have been confused when grabbing the clothes from the counter, he wouldn choose those girly clothes...

He left the now even stinkier room and asked the employee of moments ago for a basic shirt of any color.

- But hey, a man's color, bro - he specified.

Soon the employee arrived with a black t-shirt without a print.

Teo tried it on, it was perfect! Nothing could go wrong with basic outfits of one color.

He was about to change back into the clothes he had arrived to and then go to pay for his new outfit, but he looked confused at his belongings:

Baggy decorated pants? Pink short t-shirt? Pink glasses? Was this his outfit?!

Imposible! He wouldn't go out in that!

- Hey bro! - He said to the worker - Is there a problem if I pay wearing this? My previous clothes were shit, that's why I came here, It was an emergency

- No problem bro, and they do were shit, you looked like a sissy - the worker finished drinking his beer and released a loud and shameless burp - UAAAAARRRRPPP

- Nice one - Teo laughed

- But not anymore, mah bro - the employee continued - now you look relaxed and straight.

The new Teo got into his car, turned on the radio to the sports section, stroked his member and smiled as he drove back to the party, ready to find some girl to use It.

[ultram0th]

I love the idea of being a freakishly bodybuilder himbo with long hair, so big that the size is incompatible with the normal world.

Think you can help?

I agree!

Imagine you go to bed in your normal body, feeling some sort of tingling sensation over your skin as you drift off to sleep...

When you wake up to your alarm, you don't notice anything immediately when you roll over to slap it silent. Even when you roll out of bed and waddle to the bathroom, you barely register the jiggling at your backside or the fact the you have to turn sideways to enter through the doorway.

When you finally see yourself in the mirror, your eyes widen as you see your new form.

"Holy shit!" you balk in your deeper, baritone-filled voice, having to brush your now longer hair out of your face in order to get a better view.

Your muscles had grown significantly overnight. You are at least twice as wide as you had been the other day, with a lot of your growth centered around your pecs and ass. Your pecs ballooned out in front of you at a severe angle, with your nipples poking off your chest noticeably. You turned to the side and gasped at the sheer size of your rotund booty, which looked like you had two basketballs strapped to your back.

A dim smile on your face, you shifted your hips and stared at how wildly your cheeks jiggled and bounced. You were so enthralled with how much they moved that it took your a while to gain your bearing and snap out of whatever slow daze you'd been in.

You glanced at your phone and realized that you were running late for work.

As you hurried back to your bedroom, you noted how different your gait was-- your wide thighs kept rolling over one another, and your arms were so thick that they hung out at an awkward angle. Your pecs protruded so far out in front of you that you couldn't see over them, hindering your movement even more.

What you noticed more was that there seemed to be a deep fog settling in your head, making concentrating extremely hard. You kept getting distracted by your massive body, flexing your enormous muscletits in the mirror instead of getting dressed.

When you snapped out of it, you attempted to get dressed for your day at the office. However, you quickly learned that your new proportions made it impossible to wear your work clothes.

Your thick thighs and massive butt prevented you from yanking your pants on. Even your underwear was super tight, looking more like a thong as they struggled to contain your large form. Your shirt was even worse, unable to cover your muscletits and large arms.

"Fuck it," you bellowed in your deep voice.

At least you could wear a thong, so that was enough in your opinion. Besides, why would you want to cover up your massive muscles?

You lumbered to the garage to get in your car, but could barely fit in it. Your pecs kept pressing against the car horn, preventing your from gripping the steering wheel around their exaggerated size. Your big booty was so large that you could barely fit in the seat. And your wide back and broad shoulders were too large for you to close the door.

You snorted and decided to just walk, growing excited at the thought of parading your new form around for all to see.

Your head held high and your chest thrusted outwards, you waddled out the door to live your new life as an oversized himbo.

[13eyond13]

you ever think about how Misa's lack of intelligence and the way she lets her emotions impulsively dictate her actions was kinda constantly made the butt of the joke in DN, yet she genuinely outlived all the dudes and dudettes who were always scoffing at her stupidity. Somehow this is even better to me in that she wasn't even trying to outlive Light and didn't have any particularly high regard for her own life, so it's not due to her secretly being the best strategist of them all intentionally either... Regardless of the author's intent behind it I like that it pokes some holes in their constant smug assertions that you must have the very highest IQ to be the last guy standing in the murder notebook game

[himbofan4444]

Greg had been dying to become popular, but his slender frame and lack of friends heavily detracted from that. He joined the wrestling team as a last ditch effort to gain attention, but he was exceedingly poor at it. One day he went to the coach to ask for help.

“Coach, I think I’m going to quit the team.”

“Why? You have so much potential.”

“To be honest, I don’t care if I have potential. I just want to be popular.”

“Oh you do? Well wrestling should help with that.”

“Not if I never win.”

“What if I made it so you did win?”

“How would you do that?”

“Listen Greg. Nobody knows about this but I have a steroid to help you grow overnight. Would you be interested?”

“What? Overnight? Can I have it now?”

“Hold on tiger. I wanted to give it to you at the lock-in next weekend just to make sure you don’t die. You interested?”

“Of course, sir!”

“Great I’ll see you next weekend then.”

After a week of anticipation, Greg went to the school for the lock-in. He was quickly pulled aside by the coach.

“Here kid. You have to inject it in one of your buttcheeks. Now go.”

Greg shakily pushed the needle into his buttcheek and injected the mysterious liquid. There was no instant effect. He walked to sit in the coach’s office as instructed. The coach sat seated in front of Greg to observe the changes.

“When is it supposed to start working?”

“It takes about twenty minutes I believe.”

They sat in silence until Greg felt a pulsing throughout his body.

“Oh I think I can feel it working.”

He felt his legs and back stretch quickly, his previous 4’11” self left as a 6’4” giant.

“Woah. I’m huge!”

“Oh kid this is just the beginning.”

His face changed rapidly. His once youthful face was replaced with a much more masculine one. His jaw and chin grew massive, his chin gaining a noticeable dimple. His lips grew plump and juicy. His nose grew wider and more prominent. His eyes got smaller and changed to a crystal blue. His eyebrows got thicker and shifted to rest lower on his face. His hair became blonde and grew into a curly mullet. He grew a dense pornstache as well.

His body was the next target. His neck widened significantly and his adam’s apple grew much larger. His shoulders widened and grew more muscular. His traps swelled and started to swallow his neck. His biceps swelled along with his triceps and forearms. His hands grew to double the size and his fingers grew thick and meaty. His once nonexistent pecs changed into huge muscle tits. His nipples got thicker. His lats and back swelled, his whole silhouette gaining significant size. His stomach formed a six-pack. His thighs grew huge, perfect for wrapping around his opponents. They were so large he could not comfortably walk. His calves swelled. His feet changed into an absurd size 20. They were so big he would constantly trip over them. His butt grew fat and fuckable, so that they would jiggle when he walked. His penis grew massive. It expanded to a monstrous uncut 12 inches with huge balls.

“Oh fuck that feels good…”

Greg flinched at hearing his voice. It was comically deep as he was comically large.

“How am I supposed to pass as a middle schooler? I’m huge!”

“You are a middle schooler, but you’re not 12 anymore.”

Greg tried to understand what he was just told but then the mental changes hit him all at once. His once high intellect shrunk to almost nothing. He couldn’t focus on anything except for his dick. He is now coach’s son and star player. He couldn’t pass 7th grade even at 19 years old. He has an IQ of 60 now, too stupid to do anything except wrestle, jerk off, and get fucked by his dad. He grew thick body hair all over, mostly around his armpits, balls, and chest. He gained a strong musk so strong his dad started to gag. Greg, or Gavin now, is the most popular guy at school, even if everyone has to plug their noses when talking to him. Coach hands him his a large hoodie, sweatpants, and huge shoes.

“Go put this on.”

“K Dad.”

Gavin pulls the clothes over his thick muscles, his huge dick and ass accentuated due to the tight fabric. He stomps his foot, causing his thick ass to jiggle hypnotically.

“Dad… I’m hornyyyyyy… Please fuck meee…”

“Gavin you know I can’t right now. I’m on duty. Maybe you should go play with the other kids.”

Gavin smiles and waddles away back to the gym, stumbling over his giant feet. He paws at his monster cock and pulls at his ass. He lifts his buff arm and sticks his face into the dense forest of hair in his armpit. He collapses on the floor and starts to masturbate to his obscene odor. He quickly realizes it’s impossible to smell his pits and wrap both of his hands around his huge cock, making him frustrated. He awkwardly stands up and forces his dick into the wall. He aggressively thrusts into the wall while lapping up the sweat accumulating in his hairy pits. He loudly pants and moans as he approaches climax. He releases copious amounts of cum, not even emptying his huge balls. He howls in pleasure as he falls back onto his fat jiggly ass. He passes out, his cock still sticking straight up.

[thebibliosphere]

Something I've been recommending a lot to my fellow MCAS + POTS-sufferers at the moment, has been investing in a soup blender.

Apart from beta blockers, the primary treatment for POTS is increasing salt and water. A really good way of combining both and upping your nutritional value is by drinking things like bone broth or veggie stock.

But if you're like me with a ton of allergies (so you can't buy anything premade🙃) and bone broth raises your histamine, then you're left with the energy sapping task of making your own.

And I don't know about any of you, but when my nervous system is throwing a wobbler, the last thing I am capable of doing is standing up for long periods at a time over a hot stove.

Some people get around this by using a slow cooker, which is great if you can. I personally can't because slow cooking raises the histamine content of food (especially meat) and also, the clue is in the name, it's a slow cooker and sometimes my POTSie, ADHD butt needs food now-ish or as soon as possible and not 8 hours later. Instapots can be good, but they take up a lot of counter space and also I don't know if you've ever tried to release a pressure cooker valve when you can barely stand, but I genuinely think that's the closest I've come to dying and I've experienced both megaloblastic and hemalytic anemia.

Which is why we got a soup blender. They take up less space, are generally easier to clean, and also easier for me, at least, to use. All you need to do is roughly chop your ingredients up, dump them in the jug, add seasoning, fill the jug with water, hit the soup function and then sit your ass down for the next 20 minutes while this magical fucking thing both cooks and blends you some liquidy goodness.

I will say, don't invest in the instapot one. It's not worth the price point, and the motor burned out on mine after about six months. It was also a pain in the ass to clean. (The self clean was more of a "swish water around for 30 seconds" function and I can't tell you how many times I hurt myself trying to get gunk off the bottom.)

The one I currently have is a Ninja HB152 Foodi Heat-iQ Blender, which was a little more expensive, but in my opinion, far superior and better made. It's faster, makes either chunky or smooth soup, really good consistency dips, ice cream and smoothies. I've also used it to make alternative milks like oat milk and it didn't jam the blades.

It also has a great cleaning system that actually takes a full 6 minutes to run and really gets any residue off the base, and it also alerts you to things like the jug or lid not being secure, which is great when I'm brain-fogged and try to blend things without the lid on.

Anyway, this post brought to you not by Ninja but by @mothman-etd making me some leek and potato soup laden with enough salt to make this POTS episode manageable.

Just throwing the info out there. Hope it helps someone.

[legend-the-dumb-jock]

Hey have you ever thought about doing a story of two friends that a book in the library that turns both of them into himbo lovers

Oh. Are you talking about Dolan and Trevor? I forgot all about them. I kind of forgot about them after they got stuck in their himbo bodies. You see I never told you fellas about them because I didn’t want you scouring the libraries across the world trying to find the damn book. So it all happened when they were trying to something for their college research project. I forget what they were researching. I’d ask but….yeah they don’t know. Anyway so Dolan found this book and it was old and it looks cool and he was telling Trevor to come look at it. And they were holding it, and started reading the strange text allowed.

Then suddenly both of them began to change against their wills into their worst nightmares! Trevor being the cocky blonde didn’t was screaming in agony as his muscles inflated. Ripping out of his shit. His hair becoming platinum blonde naturally and his face becoming more square. His butt inflated and even his shoes burst from his feet getting 3 sizes bigger. He even got taller !! By the time he finished changing he was unrecognizable. He looked so different and it didn’t help that he was chuckling like an absolute moron. You could tell he was a nitwit. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing ! But what’s even more is that his family always told him to never be a big dumb jock. And to not act like a blonde and here he was now. Exactly that ! Big dumb and blonde! His family would disown him but he would be non the wiser with how stupid he was now.

Dolan on the other hand had some more severe changes. He not only was screaming I pain as his body was packed with muscles,but he also tally got..shorter. By a couple inches. And his feet grew four sizes completely ruining his shoes! That shorter frame made the muscle mass look even bulking and massive on him as it continued to grow expanding his frame further. And then the tattoos began to form. Now Dolan came from a hyper conservative family so it as if the book made home get tattoos in places that could be hidden. His knuckles. Forearm. Neck. And the. His ears became gauged with large 1 inch tunnels. While a thick black beard formed. And his hair slicked back. He too was a victim to the idiocracy as his iq plummeted. I swear I seen it hit the floor when his jaw did from how stupid he got all of a sudden. Or maybe that was the drop in his pants.

I will tell you though that the last I checked in on them. Dolan is the top. Even though he is shorter he is the himbo top of this duo. And they spend every minute together. It’s as if the book did everything to them that their families despised. But I feel they are happier.

[kylestfs]

I will take the Ford F-150. I figured I could use a lot of power in my life even though I might look small driving it due to my size and nerdy build.

What do you mean you might look small driving it? That’s not true, you look like a fine strong manly redneck/country boy to me. One thing that’s true though, is the rumor…saying that when driving such a vehicle, you’re trying to compensate for something…but that’s fine! At least you own a truck, right bro?

Statistics :

Identity :

Age : 20

Name : Cody

IQ : 69

Personality : Excessively dumb, very stupid and full of himself, focusing on being a real man and doing « real man » stuff.

Sexuality : 100% straight, and you certainly don’t appreciate those « fairies » or « skittles » as you call them.

Body :

Body type : Toned, lean country boy. Strong.

Overall attractiveness : 8/10.

Private’s size : 3.5 inches hard. (You certainly needed a pickup truck to conpensate for that, good choice! 🔑)

Rear end size : It’s very big and large, shame it will never get used, because although it’s very firm…its a top’s ideal butt.

Overall B.O : 7.5/10 : Strong, smelling of farm, rotten hay, horse farts…like a real man, as you’d say.

Armpit scent : Smells like rotten hay, mixed with sweat and overall dirtiness. You’ve never used deodorant and never will, that’s for prissy people!

Gassiness : 10/10, as bad as the horses in your farm’s stable! Loud, obnoxious, smelly, and way too frequent ! At least one every 10 minutes, and you certainly let it rip, you’d never hold one in.

Foot smell : Smells horrible! Those cowboy boots of yours just stink of everything you’d think of…not in a good way. But obviously, you only shower once you get mud on you or anything, otherwise you just don’t care or even think about it.

Muscles : Lean, strong and toned. Shows what a real man is supposed to be!

[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

Yes, we have a some of December left, and I want to check out Death's Game but whatever. I got time for this now and not sure if I will have later so here goes.

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list. This was an excellent kdrama year, the likes of which we hadn't had in a long time.

DRAMAS WATCHED

In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality so pls don't come for me, fans of some popular dramas that are on my nope list. Also, I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list.

33. The Escape of the Seven - this is so aggressively stupid and mean that it feels like the makers are playing a practical joke seeing how much their audience will take. This has a season 2 coming, so the answer is a lot.

32. Behind Your Touch - the FL gets superpowers by touching people's and animals' butts. Yes, you read this right. Do I really need to add anything?

31. King the Land - yes, it was a hit. Yes, it stars popular actors. I HATED IT LIKE IT TOUCHED MY BUTT TO GET SUPERPOWERS!!! Plastic people in paint by the numbers story, with about as much genuineness or retability as a barbie aisle in walmart. I never expect much from Yoona so whatever, but to have LJH go from The Red Sleeve to this boggles the mind.

30. Mrs Durian - this is so dumb that I think I lost a few IQ points watching this, but its insanity becomes entertaining - I mean what kdrama can you name where a daughter in law declares her love and lust for her mother in law at a family dinner?

29. The Matchmakers - there is nothing offensive about this drama at all. But there is nothing in the least interesting either. If elevator music took drama shape, it would be this show.

28. Destined with You - sorry, Rowoon, I am still fond of you, but you are two for two in drama duds department this year. This is a drama where I loved ep 1, liked ep 2, was indifferent to 3 and...you get the point. Each ep was worse than the one before, and I bailed before I was dragged into a cosmic singularity.

27. Oasis - great first two episodes. Unfortunately it was not a two ep show. The performances are solid but the story is just not there - the effect is like a fancy chef making an amazing sauce to put on pig slop.

26. Boyhood - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like it but a 34-year old playing a high schooler in a Weak Hero Class 1 Slapstick Edition is no go for me.

25. Castaway Diva - it's so precious and kooky in the most annoying ways, with the most well-adjusted abused castaway in history. I like magic realism when done by Jorge Amado, but this ain't Amado.

24. Island - it had a good concept, good cast and fun visuals but the execution deserved one of ML's swords through the neck.

23. The Worst of Evil - if I wanted an American show, I'd watch one. Very solid performances though.

22. Song of the Bandits - period edition of what I said about The Worst of Evil.

21. Welcome to Samdalri - and goodbye to any hope of emotional involvement.

20. Joseon Attorney - I have yet to like a single sageuk centered around a profession and this was not an exception. I guess it could be worse but it also could have been so much better.

19. Twinkling Watermelon - everyone loved this drama. Everyone except for me. It's the kind of precious that sets my teeth on edge and I couldn't stand half the main characters we were supposed to root for. I guess I like my fruits to shine steadily.

18. Our Blooming Youth - probably the biggest disappointment on this list. This is not a bad drama by any means, but with that cast and that story (I loved the novel), I was hoping for a memorable sageuk not merely all right.

17. Vigilante - it has the emotional complexity and nuance of a punch to the throat but it gives us quasi-gay openly-murderous dudes going after psychos and Yoo Ji Tae holding feral Nam Joo Hyuk by his hoodie at his feet.

16. The Forbidden Marriage - expected nothing but it was a surprisingly enjoyable trifle of a costume drama that was also quite pretty.

15. Arthdal Chronicles: Sword of Aramun - a hot mess but such an entertaining epic one. And it gave us TWO Lee Jun Kis in period gear and who am I to cavil at the bounty of God?

14. The Story of Park's Marriage - it's a trifle, a souffle, so light it might blow away, but it keeps my attention and is so fun and sweet.

13. My Lovely Liar - a huge surprise, that manages to mix a murder mystery and a romcom, and shocked me by showing Hwang Minhyun can act.

12. Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - the original ToNT was my fave drama of its year and I did not think it needed a sequel. But this is not a sequel but more of a side-quel and is such a total delight with brotherly love, adventures, romance and hijinks. It's a joy.

11. Perfect Marriage Revenge - it's actually very hard to do a soap right but this slim 12 ep drama managed. So fun, so crazy, such a good ship!

10. My Lovely Boxer - not really about sports, but about two broken people finding salvation because of and in each other. Also, if you like age gap romances, this is delicious. Sort of loses steam by the end but c’est la vie.

9. The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - this was a sageuk that was not on my radar with a bunch of actors I was not familiar with but it took my heart away. A good plot that was perfectly paced, characters and ships I adored, a logical ending. This is one of the biggest positive surprises of the year for me.

8. Tell Me That You Love Me - a slice of life remake (sort of, it's more "inspired by") of my favorite jdrama of all time. It's not as good as the jdrama because nothing could be, but it's an aching lovely story with some incredible performances.

7. See You In My 19th Life - funny and romantic and haunting and hopeful and odd. This was one of my favorites of the year.

6. Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow - it's rare for me to like a (1) sequel (2) with FL actress change (3) that is a Hong Sisters drama. But this was such a gorgeous, surprisingly achy story of love and loss and love regained with some cool monster fighting in the middle. Between the two seasons, this is the first Hong Sisters' drama I enjoyed from beginning to end in well over a decade.

5. My Demon - so tropey (chaebols, supernaturals) but it proves that these tropes are popular for a reason. The chemistry is fire, the story is unpredictable and the whole thing is an addictive delight. A rare drama where I like each new ep more than the last one.

4. Goryeo Khitan War - an old school sageuk in every meaning of the term (no romance, no eye candy, lots of bearded men, battles and politics), this feels like watching an epic movie more than a drama. The vast cast all earns their place and the performances (mainly from character actors given a chance to shine) are incredible.

3. Call It Love - two very very damaged people finding love and healing with each other. This is a narrative very hard to do to my satisfaction but when it's done well, as here, there are few things that can hold a candle to it.

2. My Dearest - a masterpiece of cinematography, narrative, performances. This is an old-school epic romance in the best sense of the term. If it doesn't make you swoon or break your heart, there is something wrong with you. A story of two untraditional, strong-willed, flawed people who fall in love in the middle of the horrifying Qing invasion of Korea and have to deal with all that the world throws at them, this is a bona fide masterpiece.

1 - Moon in the Day - who knew my favorite kdrama of the year will star a store brand Domyoji from Extraordinary You and an actress I was never familiar with. But this part period/part modern fantasy tale of doomed cursed lovers is everything I knew I wanted and everything I didn't know I wanted but did. Two lovers where their love did not save them and in modern day it might not again, has got me obsessed the way I haven't been in years.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Moon in the Day - if there is such a thing as a drama made perfectly for me, this gorgeous, emotionally haunting, utterly romantic, twisty tale is it.

WORST DRAMA

The Escape of the Seven. This drama is proof that demons exist and not sexy ones like Song Kang but horrible nasty ones who delight in the torment this hot mess inflicted on its viewers.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Ha, Moon in the Day - a Silla general and a consummate killer who committed atrocities on the orders of his monster father and yearned to die for them, who found the meaning in life in loving his enemy but it did not make him better, a man so obsessed he literally was around for 1500 years of horrifying ghostly existence and still went "worth it" for a woman who killed him as long as he knew she loved him while she did it. He's intense and competent and beyond fucked up and has never had a normal day and I love him so so so very much from a safe distance.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Gil Chae, My Dearest - she starts out as vain and spoiled but the horrors that break so many others bring out all her fierce survivor potential and she becomes such a force of nature - capable of incredible love but also sacrifice and strength and compassion.

Runner Up: Shin Hye Sun's reincarnator in See You In My 19th Life - quirky, damaged, strong, so odd and so vulnerable at once.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

There are a lot of characters who fit that category (King Injo in My Dearest? My God) but the crown belongs to So Ri Bu from Moon in the Day. You think you've seen abusive parents but until you've seen a man abuse his son his whole life and then continue for 1500 years after his death, you ain't seen nothing!

FAVORITE SHIP

The doomed by the narrative OTP of Moon in The Day. Only thing that's better than enemies to lovers is enemies while lovers and their impossible relationship where her killing him is a supreme act of love and his refusing to let go is so strong that he stays around for 1500 years watching her, helpless as she dies over and over again, is everything you ever want.

Runner up: Jang Hyun/Gil Chae, My Dearest. They are so strong and so damaged and it takes them so long to figure out what they feel and what the other person feels but their love and sacrifice and complexities are perfect.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Kim Shi Yeol/Hong Joo, The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - an assassin bodyguard pretending to be a carefree scholar and a widow of the man he killed to protect his king (and whose life was destroyed as a result.) I enjoyed the main OTP of this drama but I was utterly and completely unhinged for the secondary couple.

I'd have probably picked Rang and his mermaid from TotNT 1938 even over them, but they really were the main OTP of that drama.

NOTP

King the Land couple seems like an easy target but honestly, they are both so terribly bland and antiseptic and marketing by committee, they kinda deserve each other. So I am gonna go with Destined with You, one half of which thinks supernaturally roofying someone into loving them is cute and the other half thinks dating one woman while wooing another is totally a-ok. Ugh.

FAVORITE SCENE

There is no competition for the scene in the slave market in My Dearest, where Jang Hyun finds Gil Chae - the way he screams and tries to clutch the hem of her skirt will live in my head forever.

And the scene where he 'wins' that horrifying bet, or the scene where she finds him in a pile of bodies - they are as good also. Or when he fights off a squad to protect her even though he's sick. That whole drama is perfect.

Runner up: the scene of Do Ha executing Ri Ta's family, covered in blood, as she looks at him from the crowd in Moon in the Day.

Or the scene where he talks about how he cannot live as a person but at least maybe she will kill him and he will die as one. Or when her confession in the past intercuts with his walking in the present, or when he comes home in his bloodied armor and she finds he has a fever and it's the first tender touch he's probably ever known. Her murdering So Ri Bu saying she knows she's going against filial piety in loving her parents' murderer, the way they hug, both bloody, as he says "let's live." The way she says she can't go on as she's hit rock bottom and he replies she cannot quit because she must accompany him to his rock bottom now. Honestly, the drama is a font of amazingness.

Also, the opening scene of Goryeo Khitan War or the scene of Yang Gyu ordering to shoot the captives and having to do so himself.

The OTP meeting again at the intersection at the end of ep 1 of Tell Me That You Love Me. SHS comforting ABH as he's having a traumatic breakdown in 19th Life. The love-making scene in Call It Love. There were a lot of great scenes this year.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Lee Jang Hyun, My Dearest - is that even a competition? He's flawed - vain, often emotionally closed off, not great at processing emotions, lashing out when hurt. He is also incredibly heroic in a real, knows the cost but bears it, kind of way. Whatever he does, he commits utterly but it's never without understanding the cost. He felt both larger than life and utterly real. He went through hell and maintained his soul and the way he loved Gil Chae was breath-taking to behold.

Runner Up: Yang Gyu, Goryeo Khitan War - an experienced military commander who wins an impossible victory even as it ravages his soul. Competence is sexy as fuck.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Rang, Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - 1938 really was Rang's chance to shine and he took it. For a character I started out disliking in the original, he really stole my entire heart in this drama. I am so glad he got his happy ending with his brother and his girl.

Runner Up: Crown Prince, My Dearest. He started out as a sheltered, spoiled aristocrat, convinced the world owed him for existing. He grew up slowly and painfully into an amazing man. And then was murdered for it and I cried.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Arthdal - it leaves the story at a good stopping point but it's very much a "world in flux, adventures and conflicts continue" ending and I would love to see more of these characters. I know we won't but it would have been nice.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Behind Your Touch - should have been snipped at birth.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Vigilante - I don't mean it had scissors taken to it because it's not cdrama and there is no NRTA, but this drama would have benefitted from being longer. I mean, I love fights and gay polycules as much as the next tumblr person but a bit more character development would not have come amiss. (ahaha - I said come. Leave me alone.)

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

I don't care about cops/doctors/trash collectors/whoever - workplace drama centering on their "cases" needs to die. I hate procedurals from any country and Korea is no exception.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Supernatural critter devoted to their OTP with all the power of their long life.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Our Blooming Youth - it was far from terrible but it was a giant meh. I was so excited to see Park Hyung Sik in a sageuk (that wasn't the hot mess that was Hwarang) and I adored the source novel. It actually started well and then...it's like Revenge of the Beige!

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

I want to say Moon in the Day but to be honest, I was excited by posters and trailers so it wasn't wholly a surprise despite not having much of an opinion on the actors before I saw them. So I am going to say My Demon. I was bored by the trailers, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a Kim Yoo Jung drama and before this year I would have said Song Kang was an incredibly limited actor in everything I've seen him in and not appealing to me at all. And here I am rabidly rabiding for this drama!

If I am not limiting myself to dramas but can use this for actors - Hwang Minhyun in My Lovely Liar. I genuinely did not think the man could act and then he gave such a pitch-perfect, nuanced performance out of nowhere!

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have actually watched all the kdramas that aired this year that I wanted to check out except for Evilive. I am saving this for when I have time.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

I don't know if I'd say it's the best but Say You Love Me (2004) with Kim Rae Won as a quasi monk seduced away from his true love by an evil older woman was a hell of a ride.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Love Song for Illusion (Lady assassin falls for her royal target who has two personalities), Captivating the King (lady spy falls for her royal target who is tormented) - notice a theme? Also Flower that Blooms at Night because Honey Lee in a sageuk, The Life of Mrs Ock (Lim Ji Yeon in a sageuk), The Love Story of Chun Hwa (an "erotic" sageuk, hmmmm, what?!), Hong Rang (Lee Jae Wook in a super angst sageuk), Queen Woo (that cast and set in Goguryeo!), Wong Kyung (about Lee Bang Won's wife and I love the cast.) Basically, if it's period, I am there with bells on.

[amm479842356]

Timothee was never a very popular kid. He was always the kid that everyone either hated or liked. He was at the top of his class and on the chess team. Worst of all, he was made fun of for being gay. The jocks always thought it was funny to pick on him. He hated them so much. He was absolutely revolted by the thought of ever even being friends with one.

One day Timothee was sitting is in the gym locker room when the most annoying of the jocks came in, Jake. "Yo wassup bro" Jake said. Timothee had just made a B+ on his math exam and wasn't happy about it. "Go away" he said. "Oh we got a hero, now do we? We'll see how long that lasts." And with that, Jake whistled for his bros.

Timothee tried to make a run for it but one of Jake's friends grabbed him. "Where do ya think you're going, nerd?" He was forcefully sat down and the jock put leather restraints on his legs while another put them on his hands. Finally, a strap was put on his neck and with that, Timothee couldn't move.

He could hear the other jocks laughing. Jake turned the lights off and said "Night, bro." "Why would he say br-" and with that, he heard a loud hissing sound and when he looked up, he saw it. A gas pouring out from the ceiling. He started to get dizzy and right before he passed out, he felt a sharp jab in his neck.

When he woke up, he wasn't in the locker room, but in what looked like the Janitors closet. "What the fuck? Where am I? Wait, why did I say that, I know where I a- I- uhh I kno- I don't know".

Timothee went home and continued his night like normal. He got a shower the next day and while getting ready for a wedding, something weird happened. "Bro I don't know what to wear." Normally Timothee always picked out the perfect outfits, not to mention the night before. "Whatever, must have forgot." He put on his clothes and thought nothing more of it.

The next day. Timothy was at school and he had a quiz in Alegebra. He knew everything super well. "Ima fucking ace this shit. Huh? Why di- uhh whatever, I'm ready for this shit." Except when he finished, he got a C-. "Wait what!? I always get a- wait, I got a C. That's fucking good."

When Timothy went to gym something felt weird. Normally, he would sit in there all period but for some reason he wanted to get dressed, so he did. He took all of his clothes off and before he could put anything on, "Yooo dude wassgood?" said Jake. Normally, Timothy would've been disgusted to hear his voice but for some reason, he wasn't.

"Wassup bro. Bro? Why would I say that? What's happening to me? Wh- ats up?" Timothy had completely disregarded the fact that he said bro to Jake for the first time in his life.

"Come workout with me bruh" Jake said. Timothy had never worked out in his life but that didn't stop him from going. Timothy got in the weight room and suddenly all the lights went out and there were spinning spirals all around him, followed by the same hissing noise. He feinted.

When Timothy woke up, he was surrounded by all the jocks he once hated. "You're name is Tommy" said Jake, followed by a snap. Tommy didn't know why the fuck Jake would try to tell him something he already fucking knew.

Tommy didn't remember anything after that...

"You're iq is lower than anyone else's. You're straight as fuck bro. You love football, wrestling, and baseball, cause you play them all dude. Your dick is so long bro. You fucking hate school. We know what's best for you. You love to get sweaty as hell like real men. Your pecs are so fucking big. We're your bros. You got the tightest bubble butt ever dude. You only wear compressions clothing bro." Said all the jocks and followed by multiple snaps, that was it.

"Yo bro, what happened?" Tommy asked. "Nothing bruh, don't worry about it." Jake said. "Wow, you really need a haircut dude." Suddenly, Tommy wanted, no, Tommy needed to get a haircut, so he did.

From that day forward, everything about Tommy would change. The walls in his room went from being filled with posters of superhero's and books and science and math to posters of football, baseball, wrestling, and nude women. His interest shifted from school and chess to working out, getting sweaty, hanging out with his bros, and doing what coach said.

Tommy would never be the same.

[daisynik7]

The Takada-Chan Meet and Greet

Pairing: Aoi Todo x f!reader

Rating: Mature

Word Count: ~3.1k

cw: explicit language, suggestive dialogue, switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Todo is in 3rd)

Summary: Your first Todo-free Takada-Chan event! Or so you think.

Author's Notes: Here’s Chapter 3! Thank you for supporting this series so far. In this story, Todo lives in Tokyo; he moved after graduating from Kyoto Jujutsu High School, in case you want some background info. Divider credit to @/saradika.

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Todo hates being late to Takada-Chan events. Absolutely despises it. However, his duties as a Jujutsu Sorcerer always come first; that’s the vow he committed to. Being a grade 1 sorcerer involves responsibilities that even the pop idol can’t supersede, much to his dismay.

The Saturday of Takada-Chan’s Meet and Greet, he is assigned a mission to exorcise an unregistered special grade cursed spirit outside of Tokyo. He convinces his brother, Yuji, to team up with him to knock this out as soon as possible. They successfully eliminate it, but it ends up taking them the entire morning, leaving Todo to rush back home to get ready. He’s scratched up a bit; nothing that a hot shower, moisturizer, and deodorant won’t fix. Still, he’s exhausted. It doesn’t matter, though; he will push through the pain for Takada-Chan!

As he changes, he recalls the most recent Handshake event he attended. It somehow became the best Takada-Chan experience, all thanks to that girl, his rival. The chick who gets under his skin, always challenging him, and calling him an idiot. They only received special treatment because the pop idol assumed they were a couple. How ridiculous. As if Aoi Todo could ever be with anyone besides Takada-Chan.

However, he is still a man. There’s no denying that he checked this girl out while she stood in line in front of him. He always makes it a point to observe a person, especially women. It’s for scientific data, of course, or at least that’s what he tells himself to justify it. In all honestly, he finds her cute; she has a nice smile, even though it’s never directed at him. And sure, maybe his eyes have drifted further south, mostly out of curiosity. Even he can admit to himself that she has a nice butt. He can’t help but acknowledge a beautiful ass when he sees one.

Personality-wise, he can’t straight up say he hates her. She’s annoying for trying to compete with him to be Takada-Chan’s #1 fan. She’s his rival when it comes to that. But deep down, he respects how she doesn’t back down from him. She challenges him, which he doesn’t mind since he loves competition. It keeps things interesting. It’s amusing how fired up she gets over all the stupid shit he says. And he says a lot of stupid shit.

He doesn’t like how she calls him an idiot, considering he has the highest IQ possible. But he can’t completely blame her either, given what an asshole he’s been to her so far. She probably hates him. 

Well, it doesn’t matter. The only woman for him is Takada-Chan. He doesn’t have to waste his time trying to get other women to like him. Especially her, his enemy. That’s all she’ll ever be to him anyways.

~~~

The morning of Takada-Chan’s Meet and Greet, you are busy helping Sara prepare for a private party at her family’s restaurant. As much as you would have preferred to arrive at the event early to secure a good spot in line, your best friend asked for help and you couldn’t deny her of that. She deals with plenty of your ridiculous requests, so offering her a hand is the least you could do. 

As you lay out new tablecloths, Sara asks, “So, think you’ll see that himbo again today?”

“Todo? I don’t know, I hope not,” you reply. 

She sets a centerpiece down in the middle of the table. “You might want to reconsider your stance on pretending you two are a couple. I know you said you wouldn’t go along with it again, but what if you keep getting special treatment? This might be your best option.”

You look at her, eyebrows furrowed. “You’re not seriously suggesting that my best option is to pretend that egotistical gorilla is my boyfriend, are you?”

She shrugs. “What’s there to lose?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. My pride. My dignity. My self-respect!”

She snickers. “Oh honey, that went out the window as soon as you started screaming Love Gem at each other.”

You give her a playful shove as you move on to the other tables, not responding to her little jab. Smirking, she adds, “Yuji said that Todo is actually really nice once you get to know him.”

“I’ve met this guy twice already and he’s been everything but nice. And since when are you and his friend on a first name basis?”

“Oh, we’ve been texting ever since we exchanged numbers at the Handshake Event. He’s super funny,” she explains, nonchalant. “Anyways, my point is, maybe you should try to play nice with Todo. There might be some benefits you can get out of this odd relationship you two have. Also, he’s hot. Maybe you can have angry hate sex with each other. How great would that be?!”

“Sara!” you exclaim, scandalized.

She giggles, giving you a sly look. “Oh please, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it! He’s totally your type and you know it.”

You stay quiet because it’s true. It’s not like you’ve thought about doing it with him. But he is your type, there’s no denying it. Ripped, tall, that low gruff he has in his voice. That mysterious and alluring scar on his face. What’s the story behind that?

He has an awful personality, though. Just awful. Cocky, arrogant, overbearing, irritating. A straight up asshat.

Is it a tad bit cute how smitten he gets around Takada-Chan? Yeah, maybe. Just a tad. The tiniest morsel of cuteness. Other than that, there are no redeeming qualities about him. Zero, nada, zilch. And you’re convinced that there’s nothing he can do that will change your feelings about him. 

After helping at the restaurant, you board the bus to the familiar convention center. The Meet and Greet starts in an hour at 1 PM, so as expected, there are already hundreds of fans in line. Many are already inside, so the sheer volume of fanatics outside has you assuming the worst. Today is going to be a long day of waiting for your turn with Takada-Chan. You scan the line of people ahead of you to see any familiar face, specifically Todo. He’s probably first, gloating to whoever would listen about how he’s #1. Ugh. At least this will be the first Takada-Chan event uninterrupted by him. You’re not sure why you’re even thinking of him in the first place, you need to enjoy this moment of being Todo-free.

People continue to fall in line behind you. You chat with some fans next to you, sharing your favorite songs and iconic concert moments. From the corner of your eye, you notice a familiar figure approaching slowly from the across the street. To your surprise, it’s Todo. He’s walking with a small, but noticeable limp towards the front door of the convention center, hands in his pockets. He looks through the doors, then down the line of people wrapped around the building. His whole body heightens as he takes a deep sigh and makes his way to the back, looking defeated with his head down, staring at his feet, clearly frustrated. You can’t help but feel sorry for the guy.

Once he’s within earshot, you call out to him, “Hey Todo!”

He lifts his head to glance at you with a neutral expression, waiting for you to say something else.

You’re not even sure why you call out to him. What are you supposed to say? Do you want to be a little shit and boast? He would probably do the same to you, in fact you’re certain he would. But something about his expression in this moment is pitiful. You’re not that much of a cold-hearted bitch to kick him while he’s down, right?

“I guess we were both too busy today to claim our rightful spots. We’ll get it next time.” You give him a tight-lipped smile.

He lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, sure.” Then he drags his feet towards the end of the long line.

Why did you say something so unnecessary and useless? As if saying anything can make him feel better. And why do you care about making him feel better? This guy is nothing to you. It’s not like the two of you are friends.

You look back to see if you can still see him, but by now, he’s disappeared into the throng of people.

By 12:30 PM, the crowd is buzzing. Takada-Chan will be arriving any moment. There’s a chance that she will walk through the front entrance to greet her fans. Right on cue, a stretch limo appears on the street and the pop idol steps out, surrounded by security guards. She’s wearing an off-the-shoulder cropped blouse paired with a checkered mini skirt, strutting towards the fans in black platform heels, so stylish and cool as always. She starts near the rear, waving and smiling. Your heart races with excitement as she gets closer and closer to you. As she passes by, you wave enthusiastically. She smiles and continues, but then does a double take. “Hey! I recognize you! You were at my handshake event just a few weeks ago! One half of the couple! What’s your name again?”

Stuttering, you say your name. “Y-Y-Yes! That’s me!” You can’t believe that she recognizes you!

The idol gives you an adorable pout, asking, “Where is your other half?”

What should you do? You told yourself you wouldn’t continue along with this lie. You’re supposed to hate this man. He is your sworn enemy, arch-nemesis, your rival. On the other hand, Takada-Chan is standing right here, talking to you! Would you even be in this situation if it wasn’t for this huge misunderstanding? At the same time, you can’t get his sad face out of your mind. He’s probably still wallowing in self-pity. 

Thinking on your feet, you quickly blurt out, “He’s way in the back of the line! He had work earlier today, so he came late. He didn’t feel right getting in line with me since there were already so many other fans lined up, so he just went to the back, that’s why we aren’t together.” You manage to put on your most convincing frowny face, praying to the Idol gods that this little fib is convincing enough.

She nods, not saying anything at first. Then, she gives you a mischievous grin. “Well, we can’t have that can we? Let’s go get your boyfriend.” Your eyes widen as she holds your hand and drags you out of line towards the back. You’re at a complete loss for words, no idea what is happening. When you reach Todo, his sullen face instantly changes as soon as he sees Takada-Chan. He gives you a quick glance and his expression changes from delight to confusion.     

With a bright smile, the pop idol says, “Hello! Your girlfriend told me all about your situation. Follow me!” With her free hand, she grabs Todo’s wrist and leads the two of you into the convention center, security guards surrounding you. There are gasps and excited cheers from the others as you all make your way further into the building.

Todo, currently transfixed by her  grip on his wrist, manages to whisper to you, “What’s going on?”

As quietly as you can, you respond, “I’ll explain later, just play along.” He nods, continuing to focus on Takada-Chan’s grip, blushing the whole way.

She leads you past the Meet and Greet table, through a door in the back that turns into a hallway. Most of the guards stay behind, leaving you with just the pop idol and the same guard who handed you the posters at the Handshake Event. She releases her grips on both of you, facing you, still smiling brightly. Her hand rests on the doorknob as she announces, “Welcome to my dressing room!” The door swings open, like the pearly gates of heaven. You can’t believe you’re about to enter Takada-Chan’s dressing room! What’s more unbelievable is that Takada-Chan herself has invited you!

You and Todo gasp as you walk in, taking in this behind-the-scenes glimpse into the pop idol’s life. Takada plops down on the couch, twirling one of her pigtails with her fingers. “We still have a few minutes before the Meet and Greet starts. I wanted to give my favorite couple a very exclusive experience!” She pats the space next to her on the couch, motioning for you to sit down, specifically you. From your peripheral, you see Todo’s eyes widen, green with envy. Oh, how you wish you could take a picture of this and remember it forever. He’s so jealous of you. This is a feeling you can get used to.

For some reason, you don’t sit down. Instead, you smile at Todo, putting on this fake girlfriend act. “Todo, sweetie, you go ahead and sit. You’ve been working hard all morning.”

Why did you do this? You don’t owe this guy anything. Well, maybe you do. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t even be here right now. And Todo is so in love with Takada-Chan, you feel bad taking this rare opportunity away from him. After all, he did look rough today. Maybe you have just a microscopic soft spot for him. Maybe.

His mouth opens in shock as Takada-Chan squeals and exclaims, “Oh my gosh, you two are soooooo cute! I can’t!” She scoots over to the edge of the couch to accommodate Todo’s very large body. He looks nervous, giddy, and baffled all at the same time.

Sensing that Todo is too thrilled to speak, you initiate conversation with Takada-Chan, thanking her first for this very intimate Meet and Greet, and asking her questions about being a pop idol, which she kindly answers. She asks you about your “relationship” with Todo, which you do a lot of quick thinking and lying to answer. Basically, the story is that you’ve been together for four years, first meeting at a university party. You were attracted to his huge muscles and “quiet” personality, he was attracted to your quick wit and charm. He got into Takada-Chan only because of you and often praises you for being her #1 fan. Now you both live in studio apartment together in Tokyo with a pet turtle named Nobu.

If you are going to lie your ass off, you might as well milk it for all it’s worth.

When it gets closer to 1 PM, Takada gets up and goes over to her dresser. She signs a poster with both yours and Todo’s name on it, and writes, “To my favorite couple! Can’t wait to see you both at the next event!” She finishes it with a giant heart and her signature.

“Let’s take a picture before you two leave!” Takada-Chan stands in the center as you and Todo squeeze on either side of her. She puts up a peace sign, to which you both follow. Todo, who hasn’t said a word this whole time, holds out his arm with his phone in hand and takes the picture. It turns out to be a very cute photo.

You say your goodbyes, Todo blushing and still unable to speak, then the security guard walks you out through the back exit. You lead him towards the same bench area you found at the last event and sit down, still buzzing with excitement. You just spent twenty minutes alone with Takada-Chan. It’s like a dream come true!

The sound of his voice startles you. “That was crazy.”

You giggle, turning to face him. “She knows our names.” You unravel the rolled-up poster that she signed and stare at the message she wrote. It’s so surreal!

You’re both quiet for a few moments until Todo clears his throat. “Thanks. For doing all that. I don’t know exactly what you said to her, but whatever it was, it worked.” He pauses before asking, “Why did you do that?”

You shrug your shoulders and reply, “She asked where my boyfriend was, and I just came up with something. I don’t think she would let me into her dressing room alone. Unfortunately, we’re a packaged deal now.”

He chuckles. “I guess so. I just can’t believe I sat next to her. Our knees touched!”

“Why didn’t you say anything? She was sitting right next to you; I feel like I did all the talking.”

“I was so nervous. I couldn’t believe we were in her dressing room. I didn’t know what to say. You really held it down for us.” He looks at you, smiling. It wasn’t the shit-eating grin or cocky smirk you’ve seen from him before. It’s a friendly smile. A genuine smile. 

It catches you off guard. This might be the first time you and Todo aren’t bickering with each other. The first time he’s not being a cocky asshole to you. You stare down at the poster in your hands, debating in your head. Deciding, you hand it over to him. He doesn’t take it, he only gives you a curious look and says, “What are you doing? You should keep it.”

“No, it’s okay. I shamelessly used you today. Doesn’t feel right to keep it.”

“I don’t mind if you use me,” he says in that low voice. And there’s that smirk again.

Rolling your eyes, you say, “Just take it, okay? I’ve already made up my mind.”

He continues to look at you oddly. “Seriously, why are you doing this?”

“Does it matter? Take the poster. It’s really not a big deal. Just send me that picture and we’ll call it even.”

“Fine, give me your number then.”

You recite your phone number to him. After a few seconds, you feel the vibration of your phone. There it is, the picture. And his phone number. For some reason, you feel nervous having his phone number. Like a line has been crossed. There’s a noticeable difference in the energy between you two now. It’s weirdly peaceful.

After a few moments of silence, Todo huffs and cross his arms in front of his chest. “This doesn’t change anything, just so you know. I’m still her #1 fan.”

Never mind. Hostile energy is back.

“Aww, and just when I thought we could be friends,” you retort, rolling your eyes.

He looks at you with an eyebrow raised and grins. In his low voice, he says, “I don’t think we’ll ever be friends.”

You watch him as he walks away, signed poster in hand. His words seem harsh, but you can’t help but feel like there is a hidden meaning behind what he just said.