#buti have work:(
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bumblebrained · 10 months ago
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ok somehow no one told me there were more episodes of tfe??? maybe there is a god
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bonetrousled · 3 months ago
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it's so fucked up that ur entire life going forward can be irreversibly changed by like. Anyone. like it's so fucking stupid that like yeah my brain will just never operate the same ever again because like ^-^ a fucking flowey undertale kinnie from instagram dot com decided to do Unspeakable and Vile things to me for two and a half years. incredibly embarassing.every day i wonder about the person i would have grown up to be if that didnt happen. i am infuriated day after day because she got to just. continue to live after killing who i was. time goes on while i am continuously stagnant. it's like im trapped in a lead box.if i ever see her again i'll be ripping her limb from limb 😋
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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 1 year ago
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When you're writing an essay and the Tumblr app reloads and deletes half of it so now it's never getting done because your motivation is completely shot and you already spent an hours worth of spoons you didn't have on it :)
It's incredibly upsetting and exhausting
This has happened to my last three essays. at this point my writing motivation is shot. I can't do it anymore. Idk when I'll get back to writing essays but writing a bunch of stuff only for it to disappear genuinely takes so much outta me.
Sorry.
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ryuseitai · 5 months ago
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I'm tweaking right now
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matoitech · 1 month ago
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some choice fits from todays dress to impress with averi
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spinecurlingmice · 2 months ago
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from a study. crzy how just Sitting and Working. will give u an a-hah moment
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caruliaa · 2 years ago
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btw i tihnk i shall b liveblogging the nintendo direct (at least when it comes to stuff i am interested FDDHDF) so uuhh. ya 👍🏽
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shunukitrash · 1 year ago
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In other news I've still been sleeping with my christmas lights on ever since my brother died. I had little strip lights I'd keep on anyway for aesthetic reasons but like... now i can't sleep in the dark at all. It's embarrassing. He's been dead for 2 months.
And I've been thinking about how I haven't lived with my ioldest brother in years because he movedout first and now I have no idea what to get him for Christmas other than some shitty gift card because I have no idea what he's like anymore and it sucks. How do you go from growing up with someone to not knowing a thing about him?
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cowboycannibalism · 9 months ago
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god forgive me for being a freak on the freak site, but I wish my first girlfriend had left me a mark. not a love bite but a scar, taken her hunting knife to my gut. I wish I could press my fingers to it and still feel an ache. show it to future partners and ask if they would leave me one too, a measure of time and love.
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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uninstalled all the dating apps which ws like 8nof them . in the morning ill tell the guys i was talking to that i overestimared how ready i was and hopefully theyll understand andnjust drop it
#i dont feel stable enough for like . any relationship platonic or romantic andnit fucking..rly sucks bc i want to have friends but like#with what happened with daj the other day im like. i dont think i can be like . idk. ik daj said it was ok and she understood but im so#upset that i lashed iut abt that and i keep trying to get into therapy but i fucking..cant find one. at all#im trying to be more reasonable witj mymoney and i know like. i need therapy bc i Need to work this out and i am not able to work it out#with myself. i need to see a professional abt this . so ik it wouldnt be frivolous to spend money on a therapist if i cant find one in#network. bc the in network thrapists dont accept/dont specialize in working with patients with bpd which i like. thats..my issue. im almost#posiitive. ive done a lot of research and it matches up with like . all of my experiences#ik everybody feels unstable after a breakup buti genuinely like. i dont feel whole. and im looking back on how i treated myself and thiught#abt the relationship and its like. i stopped talking to all my friends i stopped talking to my family i literally dropped out of school i#moved across the country i dropped any interest that we didnt share i literally like. i gave up fucking everything and thats not. healthy.#and he never aksed me for that and its not fair of me to resent him for me doing that bc he nevrr asked me to#but i feel like. everytime i think abt him it feels like im being torn in half like . i put him on so incredibly high of a pedestal i#literally thought of him as perfect that was..recurring. and when i was upset with him i took it out on myself horrifically and thats not#normal . and jow thinking abt him literally physucally hurts bc theres still that part of me that thinks hes perfect and that im a mistake#and a failure and i didnt Be connor right. and then theres a part of me that . doesnt think of him that way#and its just like. aughhf. even outside that relationship im looking back on past friendships and how like..obsessive i get with them#and then when they 'betray' me i just. immediately turn on them and like. thats not normal..#and my sense of identity is um. Well you guys have seen. you know.#ive looked into it a lot and i rly think i have it and im not like. 100% positive but i feel like even if i dont itd be good to work with a#therapist who Has experience with that. since the experience is so similar. yk. idk#i just feel insane and i feel like bod would make like. so much of my life and the way i act and the way i react to things like..it makes#sense when i look at it as if i have bpd. and if i dont it literally seems completely irrational and erratic like. IDK. so basically i need#a therapist who can work with that but none of the ones in network specialize in that and then i was researching and found out a lot of#therapists specifically Dont work with bpd patients and like. judge their peers who do for woriing with bod#which is 1. Actually disgusting 2. Straight up stupid 3. Terrifying. so i only want to work with a therapist whi explicitely says I#specialize and work with patients with bpd 👍 but i literally could only find 1 and theyre out of network and its 15p for visit and id#prefer to do weekly visits if possible but thats . 300 per paycheck for therapy . biweekly itd be better but thats still 150. and i have to#save up for the trip home and then the new apartment immediately after#and i have to get credit card .#and in an ideal world id hold off on the therapist until i get my new apartment so that i can fully focus on coping with myself and learnin
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thatfizzyyyy · 2 years ago
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thisclose to shaving myhead
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lynne-monstr · 2 years ago
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I started picking at a fic that dgocs says I haven't touched since Jan. I'm a bit torn about whether to just post the beginning as a standalone fic or to try a make something larger out of it. I have about 9k words in total on this project and if I go for a full fic it may end up in the 15-20k range. but I'm not totally convinced the longer version is better or more interesting. but hmm I actually was enjoying g reading through the bits I had already written so maybe it's not a big slog of a fic after all.
basically I am torn between the instant self gratification of the shorter version versus all the time and effort it would take to stitch all the other bits into a cohesive fic.
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nyxthemagicdragon · 2 years ago
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Oh would that I could jump forward in time...to the day...the da y that my package........my package will be here
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bonezaw · 7 months ago
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muttsona · 1 year ago
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okay. time to stop myself from posting tjings that i shouldnt post on a blog that all of mu friends look at
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ryuseitai · 1 year ago
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it's over for me im serious
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