#butches really do make the world go round

[thecooler]

Pyrrha Dve is literally the only thing that matters to me this father's day

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 4

Propaganda

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

Art of Amber from @cookie-nom-nom.

[vintagetvstars]

Betty White Vs. Eartha Kitt

Propaganda

Betty White - (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, Life With Elizabeth) - I mean - does she really need an introduction? It's Betty White, people! The First Lady Of Television! What *hasn't* she done? She had an incredible career (in fact, she earned the Guinness World Record for the longest TV career by a female entertainer *twice*!) with an infinite list of successes - she won seven Emmys, three SAG awards, and even a Grammy. I personally know her best for her spectacular portrayal of Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, but she's played so many great characters in her long career. A lesser known but marvelously charming role is that of the titular character in Life With Elizabeth, a 1950s sitcom which she also co-produced at the age of *28*! She was also a great advocate for a number of causes - animal welfare, gay rights (she used to accompany her friend Liberace to events to help him avoid being outed as gay), and racial equality: she famously hired Arthur Duncan, a Black tap dancer, on one of her shows, and when threatened with going off-air if he wasn't fired, she just declared "He stays, live with it." She's the whole package - amazing actress (and comedienne and producer!), kind and hilarious, and of course - beautiful! Just look at her - that smile! Those eyes! That charm!! Watch her in action if you can (they're too long to link here, but entire episodes of Life With Elizabeth are on youtube!), but honestly - her pictures alone are enough to make me swoon!

Eartha Kitt - (Batman) - No text propaganda

Master Poll List of the Hot Vintage TV Ladies Bracket

Additional propaganda below the cut

Betty White:

Have you seen her?? Look me in the eyes and tell me that Betty White's smile doesn't have the power to turn anyone's heart to mush. She looks adorable one moment, and can come up with the most out of pocket lines the next (all while still looking innocent about it). People know her best as Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, of course, where she played the show's most naive character. But reportedly, Betty was actually the cleverest person on set. She didn't even have to learn her lines; reading the script once was enough for her, and she'd be able to remember any additional changes throughout the week without a problem. Which is pretty amazing if you ask me! Anyway, Betty is an icon. Her television career spanned seven (7!!!) decades, covering basically the entire tournament's time period (and then some!). She *almost* turned 100 and her outliving other celebrities was a Tumblr meme for ages. She had her own talkshow in the 1950s, for which she hired a female director, and had an African-American tap dancer (Arthur Duncan) as a regular cast member. When faced with criticism for the latter and the threat of being boycotted, Betty responded with "I'm sorry. Live with it" and gave Duncan *more* airtime. She was also the first woman to ever produce a sitcom (Life with Elizabeth) in which she played the lead, and looked absolutely stunning doing it. All in all: Betty was a badass, had a heart of gold, and she's absolutely stunning!

I think I might cry at how pretty she is honestly

that SMILE!!!

she's even pretty when she's not smiling... ahh...

some soft butch realness

[theravenkin]

i know the "butch's carabiner gets caught on goth femme's fishnets" meme is making its rounds in the locked tomb fandom (as it should), but i'd like to introduce it to the blue eye samurai world

*warning: horny bullshit below the cut*

As Akemi and Taigen lean against each other at the bar, Akemi feels something pulling at the gauzy white tights she's wearing under her miniskirt. She looks down and sees that she's somehow become attached to...someone. Someone handsome. Pretty? Both?

The someone looks sharply at Akemi when they realize they're being stared at. "Excuse you," Akemi scowls. The someone scowls right back, taking Akemi aback. The someone doesn't break eye contact as they fiddle with the carabiner on their belt loop. It gets somewhat awkward as the someone realizes the carabiner isn't coming free. It's then that Taigen takes notice of the situation and stands up to puff his chest at the stranger.

"Hey, what do you think you're--" his breath hitches as the stranger's storm-blue eyes meet his, not without venom. He clears his throat. "This is my girlfriend."

"Fiance," Akemi corrects absentmindedly, taking in the stranger's lean frame, wiry with obvious muscle, and the cagey way they move. She has a strange urge to trap them, make them stop moving like they're trying to run. She supposes, staring dryly at the hardware still attached to her tights, that she has sort of trapped them, so to speak.

"Yeah, fiance. Who do you think you are, man?" The stranger raises an unimpressed eyebrow at Taigen's valiant efforts, their knife-sharp jawline flexing. Akemi catches Taigen's Adam's apple bob and a light flush spread across his face. Oh, she thinks, gears turning.

Akemi swats the stranger's still-fumbling hands away from her thigh and yanks her tights away from the hook. The tights tear with a mighty rip, revealing the smooth skin of Akemi's upper thigh to the stranger. Akemi looks up to find them eyeing the skin with very intentional blankness. When they meet Akemi's eyes, she quirks an eyebrow. "You ripped my tights," she says.

The stranger raises an eyebrow right back. They're really good at it, Akemi notices. "I ripped your tights?"

"Yeah," Taigen pipes up, "you ripped her tights? I mean, yeah, you ripped her tights." Akemi puts a firm hand on Taigen's arm without taking her eyes off of the handsome stranger.

"I think you owe me new ones," Akemi says, giving the stranger a slow once-over.

The stranger sucks their teeth. "I don't owe shit to anyone," they say, but they don't sound very convincing. Akemi smirks like a fox.

"No?" she says, faux innocent in a way that always gets her what she wants. "Not even a drink?"

"Yeah, not even a drink?" Taigen pipes up weakly. She strokes his arm and pulls him down for a kiss that startles a quiet moan out of him. She always finds it so hot when he's confused.

The stranger drags their eyes over the both of them. Then they nod gruffly at the glass between Akemi's fingers. "Vodka martini?"

Akemi sharpens her gaze. "Gin." The drink was really closer to a Vesper than anything, but this stranger didn't need to know that.

"Dry?"

"Wet."

"Dirty?"

"Extra dirty." The stranger's thin mouth, which had been set in a firm frown during the entire exchange, finally twitches with mirth.

Akemi smiles sweetly as the stranger flags down the bartender. "And scotch on the rocks for my boy, here," she says, holding the stranger's gaze as she cradles Taigen's muscled arm between her delicate hands. The stranger's eyes dip to follow Akemi's caress; they suck their teeth and meet Akemi's eyes again.

"I didn't rip his tights," they say lowly. Akemi notices that they are leaning in closer than before; she can almost feel their breath as they speak. She leans closer, speaks lower.

"But you could," she says delicately. "He'd let you." He would. Akemi could feel where he was now pressed against her back, finally caught on to what she was going for and wholly into it. As Akemi watches the stranger's resolve finally, finally crumble, her grin turns from sweet to wicked. She loves getting what she wants.

The stranger sighs harshly through their nose. "He'll have bourbon," they say, and hand the bartender their card. "Neat."

Akemi grins like a cat and hooks a manicured finger through one of the stranger's belt loops as Taigen mouths impatiently at the back of her neck. She pulls each body closer to her, running her tongue over her teeth.

"So, your place or ours?"

[thecoolerliauditore]

sorry if this is unnecessry, i can't really tell if i'm the one being talked about with regards to having anti-twink sentiments? deeply funny sentence, but that really wasn't my intention. live and let live, etc

i do disagree that, in this fandom specifically, being against "twink" designs is based in homophobia and femphobia in particular. i could probably go through all the accounts that use the term twinkification and see various neopronouns and posts about crossdressing. of course queer people can always be homophobic, but i truly believe this is more of a general annoyance with the dominance of thin/permanently 20yo/anime designs than of the feminine aspect. or annoyance with the dominance of men, in some cases. ultimately, this is wildly subjective and very easily disagreeable on unless someone decides to do a widescale survey so. live and let live.

i was indeed very flippant about distinguishing between feminine and twink, but i believe i hold a different perspective to this than you both. gay men are indeed not recognized as men, or only as "failed" men, which marks them as lesser than men, which marks them as feminine. that is the crux of a significant portion of recent historical homophobia! this goes for a number of other attributes that, when thought about logically, shouldn't make anyone unmasculine, but because of patriarchy et al, it does. if you cry, you're a girl. if you're short, you're a girl. if you care about women, you're a girl. if you're a twink, you're a girl. if you're gay, you're a girl. hence me often switching between the two. yes, it would be nice to live in a post-gender world where these traits aren't seen as pejoratives, or the distinction between masculine and feminine wouldn't matter at all, but society(tm). i personally believe it's useful to acknowledge how "ungendered" traits ARE gendered, even if this gendering is rooted in bigoted history

but, for the sake of clarity, here's a lightning round of how i would define different grian designs: just a guy - thin, short, hairless, probably has anime hair, what most people call twink ; femboy - same as before but with uke style lashes and lips, generally rendered with a "feminine" face, often in "submissive" poses (or as a power bottom), maybe has tits and hips? ; woman - actual woman ; british man - not thin

anyway, feel free to not answer this if you think this is too discourse-y or unproductive. maybe i just misread it and we're literally not even disagreeing about anything. this is largely a non-issue compared to like, the racism in the fandom, or the actual gender gap in the cast, or the hermit tcg essentially being gambling lol.

ps. i wonder why butch designs are so uncommon?

my entire blog is unnecessary and discourse-y man send in whatever you want. my existence is discourse-y and I like it when people disagree with me (and LOVE IT when they agree with me).

So first off I think we're actually on the same page in regard to traits that should be gender-neutral but aren't due to societal biases, hence why I used my Grian as an example in the first place. I, designing him, did not intend for him to be read as feminine but I acknowledge that his traits could be seen as feminizing to others -- and the original anon who had asked me had specifically asked why Grian was more feminized than others, to which my first thought was "...Is he? Idk I feel like he just gets drawn younger?"

This is why homophobia/femphobia is relevant, despite that not being the intention, when people complain about "twink designs" they conflate those traits with femininity as a whole and stuff gets caught in the crossfire. The people who I see complain about twink designs are usually queer yes, but they are also usually young and not exactly the most brushed up on their history or have very little respect for their fellow queer artists. You don't need a homophobic bone in your body to echo homophobic sentiments, especially in the current online climate where so much conservatism has become repackaged as morality.

I also think misogyny is much more relevant to this discussion than homophobia, although those things kind of go hand in hand. e.g. why are "permanently 20" designs bad in the first place, especially when that younger look historically is a stylistic choice that appeals to women? There's obviously nuance to this i.e. the whole "conventionally attractive" thing

It's more that I want people who dislike "twink" designs to examine what they're actually saying. Like, consider,in real life are skinny petite men really considered "conventionally" attractive when every second guy I know is worried about being under 6ft and "sexiest man alive" magazines have line ups like this?

I just think a lot of people have warped perceptions of what is considered "conventionally attractive" in men because they're accustomed to seeing designs made by young queer women. What is "conventionally attractive" in a fandom space is very different from what is "conventionally attractive" irl.

My point is just that I think a lot of people need to take a step back and realise they're not fighting against societal beauty standards, they're fighting against tropes that have historically appealed to teenage girls (alot of whom don't even like men!). And it's okay to dislike these tropes, just um. Make your own stuff instead of complaining to the artist or calling them names?

And I must clarify again that I AM one of those people who is less keen on "twink" designs and prefers to communicate more masculinity and age. I hateeee the art styles of things like genshin and also kinda giggle at some of the more femboy-leaning designs I've seen for characters I don't associate with those tropes. And I do think we're in agreement for the most part? "Live and let live" like you said is the main point here and it. Really is not serious. People are still gonna draw them as little cartoon guys who typically look younger just by virtue of being cartoons + the audience being younger and therefore more likely to see themselves in the stylization. Take it away, Scott McCloud.

I really. don't give a fuck about people being haters. I too am a hater. But if you're QRTing luminousslime's artwork with the hot yaoi base meme, I'm gonna think you're a bit of a bitch.

I could get into more specific examples but I don't want to put anyone on the spot. Point is I think people over-obsess over avoiding being one of the Bad Ones and sometimes that turns into some very hateful stuff said about other artists who they've deemed as one of the Bad Ones. Like at the end of the day draw whatever you want, dislike whatever you want, just don't try to justify bullying. Unless you're actively sending in hate asks I don't careeeee have anti-whatever sentiments you want.

I can't find the tags anymore but someone even rb'd my original post about this talking about feeling fujoshi guilt over twink grian, so I can confirm that there is at least one person who's been made to feel shamed over the way this fandom talks about "twink" designs and how that is very much linked to anti-fujoshi stuff.

That PS is interesting and I could go on a whole tangent about it. Personally I think it's a mixture of the attitude that masculinity = boring that I mentioned in thee original post and a distinct lack of butch representation in media that leaves people with very little mental material to work with. If you asked me to name popular femboys in fiction, I would immediately start listing off characters like Angel Dust from HH, Felix from Re;Zero, Astolfo from Fate, so on. Even outside of the realm of online culture, I'm willing to bet most people could name at least on drag queen.

In contrast, does anyone here know who Spikey Van Dykey is? I saw several RPDR fans who didn't even know Drag Kings were a thing at all when discourse started up about the Thai version of that show confirmed they welcomed Drag Kings to compete.

It's even worse when you get to drawn media where childrens shows female characters often have their femininity accentuated as The Girl One and the marketability of "pretty anime girl" is hard to pass up in media aimed towards older audiences, as is often the allure of drawing pretty anime girl. When talking about anime specifically, Japanese gender roles are also a very damning factor in the storylines and designs of masculine women. You're lucky to get a tomboy who actually looks masc, let alone a butch (<-- take this with a grain of salt since the concept of "butch" doesn't really translate one to one culturally)

I could keep going about the concept of "tomboys" and how it's become very weird in the last few years but. sighs.

Anyway female CCs tend to have very overtly feminine (i.e. more detailed and "prettier") skins as well which might be a factor, masculinizing a design would probably mean taking away fun little trinkets instead of adding your own which isn't appealing to most people. Thinking about this post

like it's obviously not the same thing but.

you see what I mean ?

There's definitely some more. complicated stuff in there about taking away a woman's femininity and internalized misogyny but. yeah. it's own discussion. feminine women and masculine women both get shafted, feminine men get shafted, but you never see complaints that a man is too masculine.

[sethshead]

My big complaint about contemporary gender discourse is that the Butlerian presentation-is-gender has become prescriptive. It seems as if, for many, gender can only be a straitjacket conforming to the most rigid and stereotypical roles and expression society can devise. To reduce gender to presentation is equally simplistic as is reducing it to anatomy.

A woman is assertive? This makes her a “they”. “I’m too good at math to be a ‘she’”. To have the confidence to buck the latest influencer cosmetics and fashion trends, a woman must un-“she” herself. Conversely, some men have expressed that they cannot dismantle their toxic masculinity while being “he”. They cannot be soft or tender or vulnerable or colorful in their attire without sacrificing their maleness.

Now of course I do not write about any person in particular. I cannot know what precisely is going on in anyone’s mind, or in that mind’s relationship with the body in which it resides. I speak exclusively of a social phenomenon, and the above anecdotes are based on a composite of many sources. But the overall gist is that it is no longer considered possible to be a well-rounded human being while male or female. This is a pathology, and it is tragic.

There should be room for all manner of gendered and non-gendered expression within a given gender. A woman is not less a woman for being butch; a man can wear a dress or an entire drag persona while still being entirely male. Trans people, non-binary people exist, but so do crossdressers and the gender-nonconforming. The transing of people who are not trans, especially the posthumous transing of people who in their own times identified as cis, is presumptuous and no less conformist than is general cisnormative society.

Granted, people in the past who identified as transvestites or as cis-in-drag (such as, famously, Marsha Johnson) might simply not had the verbal or phenomenological conceptual vocabulary to identify as trans or non-binary in a way we’d understand it today. Were they still alive, they might well adopt these identities. But that is not our decision to make. They led their lives as who they knew themselves to be, and that must be respected.

Likewise, my peers who explain their pronoun usage in ways that, to me, reek of internalized misogyny, internalized homophobia, and internalized toxic masculinity, might simply be struggling to articulate feelings and sensations for which there is no standardized explanation. I can criticize the discourse, but I don’t want to stuff those who employ it into constricting binary boxes of my approval and disapproval.

Which gets me to the gender-critical radical feminists at the Genspect conference. Just as radical and illiberal trans activists seek to dictate others’ identity based of superficial criteria, so too did the illiberal radical feminists who tried to restrict greatly the spaces and motivations that might justify a man wearing a dress (not to mention a transwoman wearing a dress). While I will admit that biological sex is more closely correlated to gender identity than is whether one’s lower garment has separate tubes for each leg (shoutout to all the sarongs, kilts, thawbs, and all the women’s shorts and slacks in the world) the two are flip sides of the same coin.

I’m not really a liberal. I’m not so much the individualistic “live and let live” as I am “social cohesion is imperative, but it can only be achieved by buy-in, not exclusion”. As I say, I am a left-of-center conservative. But we will all live happier, better lives if we all stop defining others (especially those outside our narrow identity groups) and telling them where and how they can be themselves.

[profoundbondfanfic]

Do you have any fics that a very gender? Very confronts toxic masculinity in a moving way? Bonus points for 🏳️‍⚧️

I have to say it was a bit of a challenge to decode this ask so we've decided to do something general and hopefully some of these are what you were asking for. Here are some recs with fics that feature trans!characters in a meaningful way or focus on gender roles.

Fem in a Black Leather Jacket by bleuzombie [Mature, 5k words] #trans!dean

Dean has done the work to be comfortable with who himself but some reassurance from his boyfriend Castiel goes a long way as they head to a concert. Dean never dreamed he would be so lucky to find someone who could love him for all of him, panties and all.

love in the time of quarantine by sharkfish [Explicit, 6k words] #trans!castiel

Dean says, “We should have sex.” Cas chokes and looks up at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that.” “We should have sex,” Dean repeats, carefully enunciating each word. Cas keeps staring at him blankly. “It’s fun and you’re hot. Perfect quarantivity.”

Made Manifest by schmerzerling [Mature, 6k words] #trans!dean

Wherein Castiel defied God for Dean before Dean even knew his name.

Mira Mira by vipjuly [Teen, 22k words] #gender fluidity

Castiel is forced to retire from being the world's most prolific and successful hired gun. He gets dropped off at Winchester B&B with a vague notion to 'find himself', but he's having a hard time understanding first of all: what that means, and secondly: how to even do that. The proprietor of Winchester B&B, Dean, a retired ex Fed, seems to have some ideas of his own.

Novaks, Rebooted by violue [Explicit, 57k words] #trans!claire

A single father, his trans daughter, a whole new life in The Golden State.

Sometimes You Have to Lose to Win by zeppazariel [Explicit, 55k words] #trans!dean

The thing is, Dean is okay with being bisexual. He’s come to terms with it, ya know? He’s got eyes, and he can see that men are hot sometimes; whatever, not a big deal. He’s perfectly fine with it. In theory. Not so much in practice. Dudes are a no-no, outside of looking. He’s not budging on this one, so it’s with confidence that he announces, “There ain’t a guy in the world who’s going to change my mind, Sam.” “You’re tempting the universe to make fun of you again,” Sam sing-songs. “The universe doesn’t have shit to do with this,” Dean argues. Sam hums. “Whatever you say, man.” But, as it turns out, the universe has a lot to do with this, and it never really misses a chance to mock him, drag him down, kick him while he’s curled into a fetal position, then take him out back and shoot him while laughing cruelly at his misery. Meeting Cas is precisely what that feels like.

BONUS: a/b/o fics that focus on gender roles

Aromatic Adjectives Need Not Apply by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 4k words]

Castiel was an Alpha, despite what everyone always guessed upon meeting him. He was tall, and he had the stern and imposing profile, but, to most people, those Alpha traits were where it ended. He had a lithe, runner’s frame, with trim waist and thick thighs. “Child-bearing hips” he’d been told. Though, obviously, no children would be born of him. This scuffling man, though. He was... round. Potentially child-bearing. And Castiel was sure his true mate wasn’t either of the other two men. Or Castiel is an Alpha that doesn't believe in true mates but sniffs one out anyway.

Butch by tiamatv [Explicit, 54k words]

When the flower shop owner sweeps his fingers through his hair, he nearly knocks the flowers tucked behind his left ear off; he spends a fussy moment readjusting them with both hands. “I don’t need to be rescued. Especially not by a stranger.” Sheesh. Touchy. But since Dean would have flashed fangs if anyone had thought he couldn’t take care of his own damned self, he can’t be throwing any stones. He shrugs—big and exaggerated, both hands up. "Not sayin’ you did. Look, not your fault that God put alpha brains at the base of their dicks." The lowered blue eyes snap back to his. Flower Boy inhales with his lips parted, all pretense at not sniffing Dean out gone, and his eyes go wider. Dean might not dress or act or look like any kind of sweet little omega, but he knows just what he smells like: really fucking inviting.

Oddly Shaped Empty by jemariel [Explicit, 65k words]

Dean grew up thinking -- knowing -- he'd be an alpha. Until he failed to present. As a beta, he has no mating cycle, no noticeable pheromones, none of the physical markers that are so important in a world of alphas and omegas. He's out of place. How is he supposed to navigate his relationships and find love when he doesn't fit into the neatly-defined boxes he's used to? By the time he meets his new roommate, Castiel, he's more or less given up on finding a mate. He wears his secondary gender like a chip on his shoulder. But you never know what the future holds, who will come into your life, and how they might change it forever..... Queer themes, finding identity, reconciling the past, and a whole lot of smut.

[ezradogteeth]

heyo james, I've got a question for ya :) (pls feel free to not answer if it's too personal!)

So, I've finally started making calls to get top surgery, and I was really excited! like wow this thing I've been looking forward to for years is finally gonna happen, i'll get to wear shirts without having to constantly think about how i look, etc.

but then I started thinking more about it (i guess because its becoming more Real?), and I'm more conflicted about getting rid of my chest. like, hairy tits go kinda hard actually, and like sensory wise they are fun for stimming. plus i feel INFINITE BUTCH SWAG with them. if it was just me by myself forever, I feel like I could be happy with them, but I also find myself yearning for like, being able to be shirtless in public and also having a smooth surface to run my hands down. stuff like that. (also especially the "not worrying about how I look when i put on a t-shirt thing)

so here's my question: I remember you making a comic about how happy you were to have had top surgery, even if u still missed your old chest sometimes, or felt conflicted about it. what do u miss about your old chest? do you ever feel dyphoric with ur current chest? if u have any other insights or things to say, pls do

(p.s. i am considering non-flat surgery, but i don't know how i feel abt that yet because currently I think it'd be the worst of both worlds for me. i don't think the results would be what i actually want: flat chest that's just slightly rounded across the whole thing so it's soft and kinda andro looking)

hi moth yayyy so exciting!! ty for ur question!! longish answer so its under the cut

first i wanted to say that when i first decided to look into having top surgery, after my consultation, i got wigged out and decided to hold off on it for a while. talking to the surgeon made me Really understand that it is a major surgery and everything that entails. a lot of it freaked me out and i ended up deciding to go for it almost a year after that, and i'm glad i took that time to reconsider.

second, i totally relate to the butch swag thing and sensory thing. since having top surgery i've seen a lot more art and photos and people irl who are transmasc/genderqueer with boobs, much more than i did pre-op, and it makes me feel very happy and i wish i saw more of it back then bc it wouldve made me feel a lot better.

i do think that inherently, i would have been able to make peace with my body as is and not had surgery. i was never super dysphoric about my chest and i liked having partners who found it attractive. like you said, if it was just me by myself, or if i was only ever around people who wouldn't see me having boobs as contradictory to me passing as male, i wouldn'tve minded as much.

but unfortunately it doesn't exist in a vacuum like that. the body is a public form, it's how you engage with the world. similar to what you said, i wanted to be able to be shirtless, not wear a binder, be able to pass sometimes, etc. i also wanted the sensory experience of like, laying down flat on my chest, or running without breasts moving which was always uncomfortable for me esp since i hated wearing bras.

i don't feel dysphoric about my current chest, it's more like a passing wistfulness for how my chest used to be or would've been now if i hadn't had surgery. sometimes it's just the feeling of absentmindedly holding my own boob i miss lol. since i had surgery pretty young there's things i feel like i might've missed out on. i live in a wayyy more transsexual ass place now where it's way more normal for a man to have, and show off, breasts, and for it to be attractive, and not negate his identity at all. and i think i would've slayyed like that. alas! on the day to day though, i've also been working more physical jobs where i want to pass as male, so binding would have been very uncomfortable and i'm glad i don't have to do it. and i get a ton of euphoria from being flat chested, and i'm lucky to be around people who find post-op transmasc chests cool and attractive. as much as i liked having partners be attracted to my chest pre-op, i've also learned that there Are people out there who find flat chests just as attractive, and i love having partners who are attracted to the masculinity of my body, because previously i'd often felt like i had to be feminine to be attractive

and re: a non-flat surgery option, i do think it's something to look into! i never really considered it cuz for me it wasn't really the size of my chest that mattered, more like entirely having breasts or not, and i didn't want to go thru the whole ordeal of surgery just to be dysphoric again or end up wanting to get a flat chest later on - though many people do get a reduction/semi-flat surgery and later have full top surgery and it's totally cool!!!

feel free to send a follow up if i didn't answer something in particular or you want me to elaborate on anything ^_^

[sunriseverse]

for the wip game ask, i see tiansanjiao fem canon divergence au and tsl - dmbj i am intrigued 👁️

ahhhh excellent choices!!!! both of these are ones i have GOT to get back to working on because i find them INTERESTING. anyway.

tiesanjiao fem canon divergence au is an au where the iron triangle meet pre canon—when wu xie is in uni specifically. the other two have their own reasons for being there, but wu xie winds up befriending them regardless. it’s half “wu xie dealing with internalised lesbophobia and telling herself it’s FINE to be attracted to them it’s just a PHASE that you go through in uni it doesn’t MEAN anything she’s going to get married and have kids anyway regardless of whatever is happening now and she’s not REALLY attracted to them right it’s just friendships between women are deeper!!!!!” and half “wu xie accidentally cozying up to two big names in the grave robbing business and making them fall for her only for them to meet and go [spider-man meme.png] GRAVE ROBBER???? (well. not exactly like that. but that phrasing is funny to me)”. also part of my neverending “make fem versions of characters masc/butch or androgynous” agenda. little excerpt for you:

The hood hiding the person’s face shifts as they tilt their head, and Wu Xie catches the edge of a rounded jaw, a nose with a low bridge, the hint of a phoenix eye, an iris so dark that it swallows the pupil. And then the gaze fixes on her, the slow sweep of the head pausing, and Wu Xie’s breath catches, stutters in her throat.

the sun telling the same lies about how beautiful the world is (tsl for short) i forgot to mention is also a sunrise fic, it’s my sha hai parallel (with a number of things changed that were driving me batty/dropped plot threads that i clipped or picked back up and wove into the plot properly). i’m on the third chapter now which i haven’t started properly WRITING yet but. it SHOULD be when wu xie shows up (only took me 10k+ rip) which i’m really excited about because i LOVE writing sha hai era wu xie he’s so very fucked up and i adore playing with that. fic summary from ao3:

Something is wrong with Shen Qiong.

That's how it starts, for Li Cu—a single pulled thread in the otherwise ordinary life around him. But, as all things, there's more to the story than that.

-

In the year 206 AZ, the tail end of Wu Xie's planning comes into motion, sweeping up Li Cu into the wake of a man he knows nothing of, for the sake of a man he's never met.

chapter three is TENTATIVELY “the one where li cu gets his back utterly fucked, starts hosting a parasite, and meets the man who’s going to ruin his life” while also doing some setup re: that goddamn parasite/map in the first place when it comes to lore (because unlike the show i actually took the time to bang out a semi coherent explanation for how that shit even makes sense. tailored to sunrise of course but still).

[cowboyjen68]

Hey Jen,

Just wanted to say thank you for everything you do. I grew up in a very "traditional" environment with no butch role models I could look up to, which meant I've moved through my childhood and teenage years as a very lonely and confused tomboy. I remember reading about butch lesbians for the first time and finally feeling like there are other women like me out there and that there's nothing wrong with being the way I am. I've managed to fully grow into myself after I came out at 18 and have since been the proud and visible butch I've needed to see when I was younger. The problem is, even though I'm about to turn 30, I still feel like I'm missing that recognition and approval from older butches that I always craved and never had, and it's making me feel a little embarrassed because it's usually younger girls who seek guidance like that. I'm normally seen as "seasoned" in my small circle but I don't feel that way deep inside. I don't really know how to cope with this feeling, but seeing your posts and you just existing has been so good and healing, I truly appreciate you so much.

It makes my heart full to hear when one of us, despite the obstacles and misinformation and subtle to even aggressive push back from the world around us, discovers the word, our word, Butch and pieces fall into place. I needed to know there was a word to describe myself and others who shared certain experiences because often those things were impossible to communicate with just words unless someone lived in a similar space as I did/do. 

You can take consolation that I get DM’s and meet women well into their 30’s and even 40’s who  are trying hard to embrace butch without much modeling in their real lives. They see media representation that is sparse, one dimensional, and inaccurate.They get handed books that most likely tell A story but not one broad enough as to be applicable to most of us and wonder why they feel like they are missing things they can truly relate to beyond superficial aesthetics or glimpses of familiar treatments in society. 

I would suggest going to a women’s festival if you can swing it. There are always lots of butches of all personality types, body types and they are full of stories and experiences and you will see a more rounded representation of the US. 

Follow butches on Tiktok like KojaDeyoha and Conservation_Junkie who showcase their lives without compromise or apologies. Check their comment sections for others who you might be able to relate to. 

Be honest with yourself above all others because at the end of the day you are with you and no one else will be responsible for your happiness. 

Subscribe to Lesbian Connection Magazine LConline.org to get a glimpse into the conversions lesbians of all stripes have in a casual, letter format.

I am glad I am relatable to you and so happy you found me.  I know I needed to see “me” when I was younger and thankfully around 23 my first girlfriend took me to a women’s festival and I saw lots of women with whom I could find common ground.

[rebelspykatie]

The world is gonna melt, get a little wet

Part 1

SPICY RATED E - Minors DNI | Part 2 | Part 3 | AO3

Nancy shows up to their date in a pleated skirt and Robin feels like she’s going crazy all night watching the way it swishes around Nancy’s thighs. Every time Nancy moves, Robin gets a glimpse of a pale, creamy expanse of skin or a peak of the lavender colored panties that Nancy is wearing underneath. 

She’s got on knee high socks too, which is painting a picture that leaves Robin salivating over her fries at the diner. Nancy smirks like she knows exactly how much of a tease she’s being, running her foot over Robin’s under the table and making her so flustered she can’t even speak. Biting her lip and acting all innocent to rile Robin up even more. They’re long past the stage of innocence though, so she’s well aware that Nancy is doing this on purpose, intentionally flooding her with indecent thoughts with a simple flash of her underwear. 

When they get to the bar Eddie suggested, the one where no one looks too closely at two women tangled together, Nancy pulls Robin over to a pool table. If Robin thought Nancy wielding a gun was hot, it’s nothing in comparison to her bent over a table with her ass in the air, successfully knocking balls into corner pockets like it’s her job. When it’s Robin’s turn, she’s not coordinated enough to win anything, but it still feels like a win when Nancy settles behind her and leans over to give her pointers, guiding her hands down Robin’s arms and pressing her front completely against Robin’s back. 

She feels the weight of the stares from around the dimly lit room. The way the butch lesbians at the bar are sipping beers and not hiding that they’re watching them. The way the cute couple in the corner is cuddled up in a stall with their hands tangled under the table, greedy eyes following the way Nancy and Robin’s hands trail over each other. That heat that trickles down her spine from that alone is exactly why Nancy brought them here. She knew the outcome before they even stepped through the door. 

They don’t last too much longer at the table, just enough for Nancy to win a round with a triumphant, pleased grin, before Robin is dragging them towards the bathroom. She pushes Nancy into a stall without looking around at how gross it could be in there, and she doesn’t have any time to think about it before Nancy is pressing her against the back of the stall door and kissing her. 

Robin’s just happy she can finally get her hands all over the smooth skin that’s been just out of reach all night. Nancy’s hands grip onto her shoulders, holding her in place against the door, while Robin’s fingertips lightly graze over where Nancy’s skirt lays against her thighs. A shiver runs along Nancy’s skin at the touch, goosebumps breaking out along the stretch of neck that Robin breaks away from their kiss to latch onto. She hikes up the skirt a bit and runs her palms over Nancy’s thighs, pulling her closer, slotting a leg between Nancy’s. 

“Did you wear this just to tease me?” Robin asks, nibbling her neck, not quite sinking her teeth in or sucking enough to leave a mark.

Nancy is already huffing breathy little exhales and squirming against Robin’s thigh. “It worked, didn’t it?” 

Robin groans against Nancy’s neck. “Of course it worked. I’ve been able to see your panties all night and it’s been driving me crazy.”

“Should I see if I can borrow one of the old Hawkins High cheer skirts? Would that really get you going?” 

Robin bites down on Nancy’s neck almost involuntarily, “Fuck, Nance.” 

Nancy lets out a high pitched breathy laugh that makes Robin want to bite her again, just on purpose this time. “I’ll see what I can do. This seems to be working well enough for now.” 

Wasting no more time, Nancy grinds down on Robin’s thigh. It’s summertime, so Robin is wearing overalls, the length of which isn’t long enough to hit where Nancy’s moving against her, the heat from her seeping directly into Robin’s skin. Robin pushes her leg up, feeling the friction from Nancy’s panties on her thigh as Nancy rotates her hips in a tight little circle, trying to find more pressure at her center. 

Robin leans back, resting her head against the door as she watches Nancy writhe against her, still in shock that she gets to do this with Nancy whenever she pleases. Even with her eyes half-lidded and her concentration fully on how she’s grinding down onto Robin, she looks more in control than Robin feels. Nancy grabs the straps on Robin’s overalls and hikes herself up more, giving herself some leverage to move her hips faster. 

Robin could probably cum just from watching Nancy like this, in charge but still wild and carefree as she gets herself off against Robin. But Robin wants something a little bit better, wants to see the way her hand can disappear under Nancy’s skirt.

Part 2 | Part 3 | AO3

[lesbocs]

ROUND 1 POLL 9

MARIYAM BASKERVILLE (she/they) (@upvote)

"hiii!!! this is a character from a horror rpg maker game series that perhaps one day i will make.

mary is a poor pathetic meow meow final girl who has doomed the narrative itself. she has the ability to see anomalies (ghosts, demons, spirits, etc-- basically anything supernatural) but nobody believes her. she's a student at an all girl's catholic school in rural ohio in a vaguely post-apocalyptic timeline who is relentlessly bullied by her peers for being weird and neurodivergent and she has a sucky home life so all around she's having a terrible time. she's kind of eccentric and super into the occult, which in the good catholic town of woolwick is not accepted at all. her only ally is her older brother, callum, who she is very dependent upon but he apparently runs away from home shortly after a fight between the two of them. (it's a misunderstanding, he has his own demon stuff going on) and she's left in her senior year of high school feeling like shit.

so yeah life hates her and she hates life back. but !!! her solution to her very vitriolic misanthropy and unhappy circumstances is to open a portal to hell and allow her fucked up town to be consumed by it. on devil's night (the night before halloween, where kids play pranks and throw toilet paper at houses and etc) she sets her plan into motion and manages to find her way into getting roped up in the hijinks of a group of misfits (all students her age at the catholic girls school and all wlw and most of them are pretty nice actually) and horror game shit ensues with her getting involved in too because she's just a strange beast motivated by years and years of resentment and didn't really plan shit out… but she survives in the true end yay ^__^ sort of. schrodinger's cat girl.

she plays a vaguely overarching antagonistic role in the series over all but her intentions slowly become more benign as the story progresses… also she develops weird homoerotic enemies to allies to friends to STABS YOU IN THE BACK relationships with two of the other girls in the cast. idk mary is just a silly quirky trans autistic lesbian and yes she wants to destroy the whole world in her grief for her brother and the life she never had but she looked cute doing it!!!"

you can learn more about them here! (art for mariyam by pommeplisa on twitter)

-----

XENIA (she/her) (@mossboss030)

"She's my D&D character, the first one to reach level 20. She had amnesia when I created her and worked in a fighting pit because she was very big and strong. She killed her boss when he made a pass at her and then began her life as a mercenary when she had to leave town. Over the course of the campaign she found out that she was half troll, that her father (the troll) was killed by an adventurer, that her mother had traded her to a devil for a new kid that was fully human, that she was turned into a demon that killed a lot of people (including her mother and replacement). She took that all in stride I think, killing several dragons, dying once and coming back as a demon again that the party had to fight, looking like her actual half-troll self when she came back and meeting the two loves of her life. She later became a full devil after befriending a devil in the campaign and plans on usurping Asmodeus as King of the Hells one day but for right now is enjoying retirement with her two wives. She fought with a big maul and was a multi-class of barbarian and fighter and she was the second smartest person in the party behind the wizard and the ranger's animal companion (a ferret). She adopted (bought) two babies in the city of brass because she felt bad that they'd been abandoned. She also briefly dated two villains in the campaign and tried to date another one but it didn't work out. In conclusion, she's a 6'9" trans butch lesbian, vote for her!"

you can learn more about her here!

[vintagetvstars]

Betty White Vs. Gracie Allen

Propaganda

Betty White - (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, Life With Elizabeth) - I mean - does she really need an introduction? It's Betty White, people! The First Lady Of Television! What *hasn't* she done? She had an incredible career (in fact, she earned the Guinness World Record for the longest TV career by a female entertainer *twice*!) with an infinite list of successes - she won seven Emmys, three SAG awards, and even a Grammy. I personally know her best for her spectacular portrayal of Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, but she's played so many great characters in her long career. A lesser known but marvelously charming role is that of the titular character in Life With Elizabeth, a 1950s sitcom which she also co-produced at the age of *28*! She was also a great advocate for a number of causes - animal welfare, gay rights (she used to accompany her friend Liberace to events to help him avoid being outed as gay), and racial equality: she famously hired Arthur Duncan, a Black tap dancer, on one of her shows, and when threatened with going off-air if he wasn't fired, she just declared "He stays, live with it." She's the whole package - amazing actress (and comedienne and producer!), kind and hilarious, and of course - beautiful! Just look at her - that smile! Those eyes! That charm!! Watch her in action if you can (they're too long to link here, but entire episodes of Life With Elizabeth are on youtube!), but honestly - her pictures alone are enough to make me swoon!

Gracie Allen - (The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show) - she's SO funny

Master Poll List of the Hot Vintage TV Ladies Bracket

Additional propaganda below the cut

Betty White:

Have you seen her?? Look me in the eyes and tell me that Betty White's smile doesn't have the power to turn anyone's heart to mush. She looks adorable one moment, and can come up with the most out of pocket lines the next (all while still looking innocent about it). People know her best as Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, of course, where she played the show's most naive character. But reportedly, Betty was actually the cleverest person on set. She didn't even have to learn her lines; reading the script once was enough for her, and she'd be able to remember any additional changes throughout the week without a problem. Which is pretty amazing if you ask me! Anyway, Betty is an icon. Her television career spanned seven (7!!!) decades, covering basically the entire tournament's time period (and then some!). She *almost* turned 100 and her outliving other celebrities was a Tumblr meme for ages. She had her own talkshow in the 1950s, for which she hired a female director, and had an African-American tap dancer (Arthur Duncan) as a regular cast member. When faced with criticism for the latter and the threat of being boycotted, Betty responded with "I'm sorry. Live with it" and gave Duncan *more* airtime. She was also the first woman to ever produce a sitcom (Life with Elizabeth) in which she played the lead, and looked absolutely stunning doing it. All in all: Betty was a badass, had a heart of gold, and she's absolutely stunning!

I think I might cry at how pretty she is honestly

that SMILE!!!

some soft butch realness

she's even pretty when she's not smiling... ahh...

she is marvelously bitchy as Sue Ann Nivens. please for the love of god watch these videos

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #1: Coffee Experts Agree

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #3: Massive Mudslides Wreak Havoc

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #5: Have a Sexy Birthday

Gracie Allen:

Gracie Allen--Best Lines Compilation 1

[undead-knick-knack]

The way some people throw butch and masc around makes me think they really just want to identify who is 'the man' in the relationship. Like, does one of them wear pants but not the other? She's the man. Is one whimsical and the other more serious? Serious is the man, whimsical is the woman.

Also, there should be more butches in campaign 3. We need to call matt mercer and put in a special request cos these people have no frame of reference and they're missing out tbh. There should be more butches in actual plays... if you've got any recs lmk...

Yeah I really don't understand how people can look at the pastel woman who's currently wearing a flowy blue skirt and think, "yes that person is masculine and butch." Like if you think she's the one wearing the strap-on in bed, you can just say that. Top isn't the same as masc or butch and that's fine!

And yes, Matt needs to add more butches to the world of Exandria, they're the ones who make the world go round

I unfortunately do not have any recs but hopefully people can put some in the tags if they have any

[epersonae]

I need to save this pair of reblog tags for posterity, because this is AMAZING -

first from @adickaboutspoons

#Lol!#that 'friend' who made poetic_nonsense watch Harry and the Hendersons and linked your fic?#'Twas I *maniacal laughter*#(Movie itself not quite as Gay as advertised - the 'this is primed or a reboot' version we came up with?#where the father and mother get an amicable divorce and father goes to live in a cabin in the woods with Bigfoot like he so clearly wants t#& mother hooks up with their neighbor - who in our version is a butch lumber jill - whom mother was already having complicated Feelings for#when she agreed to go on the fateful camping trip that led to the Inciting Incident#in a desperate bid to try and convince herself that her marriage was NOT a hollow sham and she for sure still loved her husband?#fixed it)#Anyway#thanks for your bonkers (& weirdly hot - not a monsterfucker - or at least this not flavor of monsterfucker - but to totes worked) fic#the trust and love and commitment between Ed and Stede really shone through and was so beautiful and tender

and then from @poetic----nonsense

#SCREAM.#excuse me while I be flattered and also giggle over this whole affair#I know you said you liked the comment -- sorry for not replying by the way; I couldn't think of anything to say and I didn't want to be#annoying -- but I'm having a happily surprised 'aw shucks' moment 🥰🥰🥰#sorry to hear about the broken leg btw#and I DID pass along your appreciation as requested (love this little merry-go-round)#also re: spoondick's tags -- in my defense: I said the movie was KINDA gay#in that 'it's a movie from the 80s and there is unintentional subtext and subtext is my kingdom and I am its king' way#John Lithgow develops feelings for Bigfoot and it cures his toxic masculinity and shatters the soul-sucking hegemonic conformity of his#cookie-cutter life and helps him become free and find himself and the way he plays it is unintentionally romantic I tell you#and Harry the Bigfoot lost and frightened in an alien land and only finding solace in tenderly stroking John Lithgow's face through the col#and impersonal barrier of a television screen???#okay fine I'm done I'm not trying to over-sell it (but I'm right)#also get that woman (Mrs. Henderson) into a better domestic partnership (and a Subaru) because that current one ain't it#she is not living right and she has put up with so much#okay now I'm done#also. esteemed purveyor of Bigfoot porn - I pointed out my tragic lack of monsterfuckerness but in the interest of complete honesty the#NOT LACK of demisexuality had just as much to do with it. I get the same squick when fics make up new one-off characters for gangbang or#threesome etc stuff even when all the participants are human. I'm sorry Mr. Bigfoot if I made you feel othered 😔 I am prejudiced against#the /OMC and /OFCs of the world not just the /OBC#anyway.#our flag means death

esteemed purveyor of Bigfoot porn

is now going on my tombstone*, please and thank you. also perhaps I am going to be watching Harry and the Hendersons? which I don't think I've ever seen?

*I probably won't have a tombstone, but you know what I mean

Because you foolishly agreed to more than one of these: Director's Cut of "BIGFOOT STOLE MY HUSBAND!", please.

anyway.

before I even start on this, let me just say that I love that you've picked out my three OFMD fics that imho get the best comments in very different ways. for the benefit of all the broken hearts gets the in-depth analysis and plot-based screaming; I spit on your grave is full of I NEEDED THIS CATHARSIS; and BIGFOOT STOLE MY HUSBAND is about 80% "would it be weird if I wanted to kiss bigfoot/o no you've awakened something in me", which me too bud (actually this comment is one of my favorite comments on anything ever).

Sometimes you write something you're not into entirely out of spite, well, 80% spite and 20% as a gift to your friends lol.

Which is to say that someone posted a link to a pretty bad (and also at the time the only) Ed/Stede/Bigfoot fic in a server I'm in (come ON, "it was all a dream"?!?!?! COWARD) and we got chatting about what a good fic would be like, and then dammit now I have an actual idea.

I said in my previous director's commentary post that I often need a hook to get into a story, and the camping narration that it starts with was the hook.

My ex-husband (first spouse, the bad marriage, the divorce) was very outdoorsy in that Pacific Northwest way; in college he'd worked for a summer as a guide on Mt Rainier and then the following winter was the caretaker for a lodge. He was not as gung-ho about it as some of his friends, but he did always want for us to go on a "real" backpacking trip, and we did a lot of car camping. And like, we had some real awful arguments and terrible experiences, but also there was a lot I enjoyed about it, and I hadn't (still haven't) done that since before I got divorce. (iirc we didn't go out at all that last summer we were together, which feels like part of the "everything coming to a head" of that year.)

So apparently I had a whole bunch of pent-up feelings about camping, both the actual physical experience of being in the woods/mountains and the experience of doing something that your partner is into WAY more than you are. (Which, yes, is both about the camping and Bigfoot.)

One of the other things about that fic is the whole scent experience, obviously, and that is the 20% gift for a friend aspect of that story, because one of the people who I was more or less writing it for is someone who I thought would appreciate that particular aspect. My beta also pushed me to be more specific and detailed about the actual fragrance notes, so I did two things. One, I looked up perfume sites and stuff for the kind of language people use for that, and two, what ended up being the most notorious (?) details: I opened up my spice drawer and literally smelled all of my spices to find something that might be a little unusual but also felt right. And that is where the cumin thing comes from.

(I think the commenter experience of "would it be weird if I were into this" comes both from my commitment to sensory detail and to Ed's inner narration of "would it be weird if I were into this")

Finally, I knew it needed to end not with Bigfoot, but with them affirming their connection to each other, and I did seriously laugh out loud when I realized I could use "he's got nice hair". It's so stupid and so perfect.

(also the detail of the two of them having a selfie with a roadside attraction fake taxidermy Bigfoot is stolen from my experience going to the Portland Maine cryptozoology museum and doing exactly that with Ryn, who loved all things Bigfoot.) (I've had relationships with at least four people who are/were really into cryptids, I have no idea what that's about.)

[ask me for the director's commentary on a fic!]

[rphelperblog]

City of Ashes Book Quote Rp Meme

Book two of the Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare- feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

“I don't want to be a man I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."

“There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself.” 

“With him, you don't really get to choose your insulting nickname.” 

"So you're just that friendly with everybody, is that it?” 

“I was alive when the Dead Sea was just a lake that was feeling a little poorly.” 

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”

"I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt.”

"Mostly extinct is NOT EXTINCT ENOUGH."

"Does he normally just lie on the floor like that without moving?” 

"You want to kiss me, don’t you?” 

"Never believe the bad guy is dead until you see a body," 

“I've heard the word 'fear'. I simply choose to believe it doesn't apply to me.” 

“Sometimes you don't have to search out danger, sometimes danger finds you” 

"There are no straight men in the trenches."

“If I made a joke about just dropping by, would you write me off as cliché?” 

“What I actually want to call you is a hell of a lot more unprintable than your name” 

"If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway.” 

“When you love someone, you don't have a choice. Love takes your choices away.”

“Some guys look at you like they only want sex. He looks at you like you've had sex - it was great and now you're just friends. Drives girls crazy. Know what I mean?" 

“I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.” 

"I prefer to think that I'm a liar in a way that's uniquely my own.” 

Usually I'm remarkably good-natured. Try me on any day that doesn't end in y.” 

“I never date anyone my cat doesn’t like,”

“I love round tables. They suit me so much better than a square."

"I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."

“Pain is only what you allow it to be” 

“No, I'm just a very naughty boy. I do all sorts of bad things. I kick kittens. I make rude gestures at nuns.” 

“You might want to lie down, I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in.” 

“You live in my head all the time." 

“If you really love something, you never try to keep it the way it is forever. You have to let it be free to change.” 

“I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while, it relaxes me."

"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.” 

He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?”

"I know. Everytime you almost die, I almost die myself.”  

"Oh I know his secret.He's terrified I'll tell everyone that he's always wanted to be a ballerina.” 

“Lawful good to lawful evil!"

“They confused beauty with innocence and harmlessness.” 

“You disappear so completely into your head sometimes, I wish I could follow you.” 

"I didn't betray you, idiot."

“Growing up happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could change”

“Everything changes in my life, and the world stays the same.” 

“Everyone has choices to make; no one has the right to take those choices away from us. Not even out of love..” 

"You do seem obsessed with my look...Could it be that you're attracted to me?"

“He had become a monster. You just couldn't see it...because it wore the face of a friend.” 

"It's awfully butch for a bookseller.” 

“Hate is nothing when weighed against survival. “

“Suddenly you‘re interested in solving my problems?”

“Other crack teams get bat boomerangs and wall-climbing powers; we get Aquatruck.” 

“The nod means 'I am a badass, and I recognise that you too, are a badass.” 

“Then again, it was him. He'd pick a fight with a Mack truck if the urge took him.” 

"Honestly, if you don't start utilizing a bit of your natural feminine superiority, I just don't know what I'll do with you.” 

"You think I haven't seen the way you two look at each other? The way he says your name? You may not think I can feel, but that doesn't mean I can't see feelings in others.” 

“Nothing less than 7 inches.” 

“Fate is never fair. You are caught in a current much stronger than you are; struggle against it and you'll drown not just yourself but those who try to save you. Swim with it. and you'll survive” 

“Desire is not always lessened by disgust. Nor can it be bestowed, like a favor, to those most deserving of it. And as my words bind my magic, so you can know the truth. If she doesn’t desire his kiss, she won’t be free.”

"I make dollar bills magically appear in their cash register."

"Because I foresee many romantic picnics in our future. You, drinking a virgin pina colada. Me, drinking the blood of a virgin.” 

“I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter, I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.” 

“Sure. And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour.” 

“If you're texting him to say 'I think u r kewl' I'm going to kill you” 

"You are mortal; you age; you die, if that is not hell, pray tell me, what is?” 

“I was even a little glad that if it wasn’t going to be me she wanted, it was going to be someone who really deserved her.” 

"It could be worse, men my age have been known to purchase expensive sports cars and sleep with supermodels.” 

"Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister.” 

“I believe I am in Hell, therefore I am” 

"You mean father. I despise this modern habit of calling one's parents by their names."

'Its not often you get to see someone drool, especially with such total abandon. Mouth wide open and everything.” 

“Come to think of it, he‘ll probably make you pay the shipping charges yourself.” 

“The next thing I knew I was listening to five people shouting. What was that all about, anyway?” 

“It looks to me like you‘re using a wall to prop you up. that’s not my definition of ‘standing.’”

“Leaning comes right before standing.” 

“To draw something is to try to capture it FOREVER, if you really love something, you never try to keep it the way it is forever. You have to let it be free to change” 

"It's always nice when someone volunteers to be the first up against the wall.” 

"I take it I'm just supposed to wait out here until vines start growing on me?"

“I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet.”

“How do you know what feet taste like?”

"Oh, you know. The usual. A lifetime's supply of Knicks tickets.

“But if you can't tell the truth to the people you care about the most, eventually you stop being able to tell the truth to yourself.” 

'Finishing my shower. And if you‘ve made me run through all the hot water, I‘ll be very annoyed.” 

“I do not understand how you humans can walk in shoes that are that tall.”