#butches have to start having femmes backs even if it means no longer supporting the 'popular' butches on here
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handcuffedbutch · 4 months ago
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I feel like i can no longer trust the butches on here unless they have at least a few femmes that would vouch for them as someone who would make them feel safe. I've been seeing a lot of butches not holding other butches in the community accountable lately. Femmes are held to an insanely high standard but are never given any sort of grace. Butches dont have this problem its like they're easily forgiven, all concerns are brushed off and ignored just because they're a butch. C'mon guys, do you know how shitty that is? It seems like femmes have to fight so hard to even be heard or to be understood or to be listened to. Femmes should not have to worry that the community will turn on them when they speak up for themselves or others.
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moodr1ng · 7 months ago
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(making my own post after being in someones replies again lol) i do think there was kind of a Moment on tumblr in i wanna say circa 2019-2021 where a lot of the accumulated biphobia that was present in the lgbt community at large and in particular on tumblr sort of blew up into a number of bi bloggers starting to talk a lot more on the subject and make a lot of posts explaining the material consequences of biphobia, the lack of support bisexuals have always gotten from the rest of the community, the specific biphobic opinions/takes that are popular both offline and in online communities, and also a lot of conversations about bisexuality, what its like to be bisexual, what it means to us, a ton of education on bisexual history, a lot of trans and nonbinary bisexuals talking about how bisexuality interacts w our genders, etc. at the time and being involved in all of this tangentially it felt a bit like a sort of tumblr bisexual renaissance where the pot finally boiled over and a ton of us started to be really loud and in your face about bisexuality and biphobia. i think this was a major reason for why a lot of takes that had previously been very widespread and either accepted or at least treated as debatable (thinking about butch/femme discourse for example) got rolled back and a lot of people who had been very casually biphobic all over the place suddenly changed their tune, switched their public opinions, and started sharing a lot more of support for bisexuals (though, tbh, i dont think i have seen literally one apology for past biphobia).
i do think there was some discourse that went a bit too far and ended up counterproductive (ive personally rolled back a lot of my past anger about the pansexuality vs bisexuality shit into a view that i think is a lot more charitable and community-oriented), but overall bisexuals on here did a lot of work to get heard, get understood, and get some much-needed support by the rest of the lgbt community, and there were also a lot of behind the scenes conversations where bi people created spaces like very active discord servers where bisexuality was explored in-depth among bisexuals, which tbh i largely credit for me being able to comfortably identify as bigender.
but, well, this Moment of bisexuals being loud and proud about bisexuality and refusing to continue to tolerate biphobia was met with, like, extremely caustic and vicious backlash which has led SO many bi bloggers who i followed, knew, was in servers and dms with, was/am friends with etc to either quit tumblr or move to new blogs where they only keep around vetted people and no longer widely engage w the topic of biphobia. my alter ran one of those blogs which i dont think could have really been qualified as popular, but which had a ton of constant interaction and some really big posts, all of which led to daily biphobic harassment as well as scrutiny of every other part of his identity and repeated cruelty about things that it was incredibly inappropriate for people to attack him on - some of you who followed him will recall the repeated attacks and accusations of ableism for his 'weird' typing style, despite a disclaimer on his blog that he types like this bc of autism+adhd+did, as well as a lot of vitriol and aggression which i think was at least partially racially motivated. like, im not even willing to disclose the url or his name here because im STILL paranoid about getting harassed years after he deactivated, which, like many others i know, he did because the constant biphobia was so bad for his mental health that the blog even just continuing to exist was not sustainable.
im not sure to what degree the conversations that were started on here during this time are continuing - im not seeing much of it anymore, but then again maybe im just not following the people having them - but it certainly feels like that Moment has died down now, though i certainly still feel the aftereffects in how a lot of people have changed their stances on bisexuality. it does feel like an acute loss still that so many bi people were effectively shut down and harassed off tumblr or into silence and reclusiveness by the backlash to bisexuals speaking out (and this especially imo affected bisexuals of color, especially black bisexuals, as per usual on tumblr). i miss the posts i would get to read daily as well as the very active discord servers and other conversations i got to be privy to at the time. i think this, as much as the discussions on biphobia themselves, rendered very explicit the degree of biphobia thats present within the lgbt community. as soon as a number of bisexuals got fed up with it and started to talk about it openly, the open and unashamed biphobia also ramped up.
ig the thing im stuck on is - were not talking about it as much, but all the people who dedicated themselves to harassing bisexuals into silence for years are still here. some stances have been changed and a lot of performative "we love bisexuals!" posts got shared but ultimately the work is still cut out for us going forward. however, i dont think i or my alter will be doing any of that work on tumblr in the future. the focus will have to be on real-life community to spare ourselves the backlash that comes from speaking about this on here.
idk, not sure how to end this whole tirade. i just happened to be thinking about all this earlier today and a mutual brought it up again just now so its on my mind. i do still miss that sense of heightened bisexual community that came from all of this. i personally not only was able to re-identify as bisexual after identifying as gay for a few years bc these conversations led me to reevaluate my sexuality in a more accepting light, but also i unlearned a ton of internalized biphobia which i had not only tolerated but often strongly believed myself, usually with a sort of self-flagellating notion of "i have to bow down to the rest of the community and accept that my opinion is inherently lesser because bisexuality is an inferior sexuality" which i only stopped believing after being in these bisexual communities. ig i just have to be content with the circle of bi friends ive built both online and offline and what benefits ive gained from these discussions.
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gunkyengines · 4 years ago
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4, 7, and 9, for the s/i questions if you're still taking them!
Ohhhh my gods @jetsetspy I’m so sorry for answering this question so late ;-; My answers are under the cut!
4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?
Bellamy Amplexus – Final Fantasy XV SI
Bellamy doesn’t have much of a backstory just yet, but I do know this:
·         Their family isn’t a huge part of their life, aside from a younger sibling, who, to this day, I have not yet named.
·         They want a sense of belonging somewhere, and have a number of self-image complications (it’s not really a set of “issues” to them, because they’ve found comfort in their body and self over time, but they still have wishes about what they could be seen as—androgyny is a tough line to straddle).
·         They hate the nickname “Bella”.
·         Bells, as far as I’m concerned right now, finds their sense of belonging amongst the ‘Bros ever since they just sorta started… tagging along, I guess? It was just an act of good will from the prince and his guards and a bit of hitchhiking on Bells’ end that got them where they are now.
·         They were originally a bit of a vagabond prior to meeting up with the guys. Hitchhiking, walking absurdly long distances, camping out often, all that jazz.
Junko Hisayo – Persona 5 SI
Junko is a character who I largely based off of my late-high school self for both self insertion and coping reasons, but a few things do set her apart from me. As in, she’s a pretty close approximation, but by no means is she a direct, direct copy of me.
She’s a student at Kosei Academy, simply due to the fact that I read on the wiki that it’s speculated to be a catholic school (I was brought up in the catholic education system, so, I could find some accuracy and likeness in that), and attended meetings at both the drama and art club there. She has bitter memories of the two clubs, as she was betrayed by the one major figure in both: her childhood friend Hideo Sunjaya. Since then, she’s taken to expressing her creative outlets in circles outside of her student life, and finds her passion in writing. At the time of Persona 5 canon, she’s set on becoming an editor. In the future canon, she does in fact achieve this goal. In this way Junko’s less of a model of who I was, and instead she’s what I hope to be.
She comes from a somewhat broken home, but has a strong relationship with her mother. Despite her current disconnect, Junko feels that she owes it to her parents that she has such a good understanding of her own identity, as they were supportive when she first came out as sapphic, and continued their support when she decided to be GNC and soon after came into her identity as a demigirl.
Elizabeth Beaufort – Red Dead Redemption 2 SI
Lizzie is a pretty lighthearted simulacrum of a more feminine version of me, translated loosely into the scope of the year 1899. I’m by no means a historian, but here’s Lizzie’s life.
Elizabeth Beaufort is a born and raised resident of the town of Valentine. Her mother is whatever the RDR2 universe’s equivalent of Quebecois French is, having moved to Saint Denis due to a family matter down there, and subsequently met her father. A Valentine resident himself, he beguiled her mother and convinced her to move to Valentine and live as the wife of a livestock owner (he comes from some blue blood ‘round those parts—as mentioned by the VDL in Chapter 2, the town is a goldmine of trade).
As a lady of relative privilege, life was… well, it was what a privileged life is. Sheltered, simple, and for the most part pretty damned easy. However, her naivete wasn’t something that her mother would stand to see Elizabeth keep, as she wanted a strong daughter who wouldn’t simply bend to the hand of tradition. Would I say that Lizzie would’ve most certainly rallied with those girls in Rhodes? YES. I’d rather die than portray any iteration of myself as complacent rather than progressive lmao. Elizabeth Beaufort flows in the vein of RDR2’s… I guess, progressive* writing? More** on that below, I guess???
*I don’t actually know how well it was received by everyone else, and honestly, I’m not even gonna try to speak on anyone else’s behalf but my own—I found that RDR2, despite some shortcomings, made itself a relatively hospitable environment for me as a white queer.
** Lizzie does struggle a lot with her internalized homophobia? Like… she had a lot of difficulty when she was younger coming to terms with the fact that she’s bisexual. This is less prevalent in her backstory considering it only ever surfaces post-canon. Yes, my SI and her FO came out to each other at random after being married to him for approximately 3 months. And it went fuckin’ great cos guess what!! Theyre both bi!! WLW/MLM solidarity!!! Don’t @ me.
Gillian Wright – Red Dead Redemption 2 SI
·         Gilley was brought up amongst a gang of outlaws, and her being born a woman changed nothing about the things she was taught by said gunslingers. She left the group she once called family because of the leadership turning sour. From that point forward she went it alone, shifting in and out of her identity as Gilley Wright and her masculine persona (a pseudonym-turned-identity) Giles Kingsley, to keep herself straddling notoriety and anonymity.
·         Gilley only started wearing her hair short because of an encounter in which her longer hair was used as a means to pull her back into harm’s way. She lopped it off shortly after out of the feeling that it was a necessity, but soon found that she preferred it that way.
·         Thaddeus, her large draft horse, once pulled carts. She took him during a robbery so that she’d have an adequate mount for her getaway. The connection was instant between them.
Taeko Atou – Tokyo Ghoul OC
Taeko went by another name before her time in the 20th ward. She had another face, another life. But that was a self she had to leave far, far behind. Before “Taeko”, she was a reckless twentysomething ghoul living off of her father’s money, basking in the upper echelons of society, indulging in Scrapper shows and seeing humanity as nothing but an unprepared buffet. The danger ranking on her CCG profile demonstrated as much.
One night, however, her cushy life changed drastically. She went out drinking after a Scrapper show with one of her friends and decided to go hunting with her. Things were as usual, they stayed in their territory, but ended up getting apprehended by a group of Doves. During the getaway, her and her friend were separated, and she had no way of knowing whether her friend was alive. Drunk, desperate, and rather terrified, she decided to abandon all else and ripped her mask off to taunt the officers. They deserved to see her face, covered in gore and as ghoulish as they came! Nothing mattered to her at that point and she wanted to give them a scare…!
That is, until the next morning, when she recovered from her hangover and realized what she’d done. One of those Doves got a picture of her. In a panic, she called her father to ask for some sort of mercy money to clear the issue up. He’s frustrated with her constantly getting into increasingly worse trouble and tells her this: he’s going to pay for her to completely change her identity and her face so that she can move elsewhere, completely out of the way of harm. After that, he’d be cutting her off, leaving her with only the savings that she had prior to the cut-off. No more handouts.
This is when she became Taeko Atou, a pseudonym based off of her Scrapper show guest alias, “Miss AT”, and moved to the 20th ward. She has to adjust to average life a la Schitt’s Creek or Arrested Development.
7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?
Bellamy Amplexus – Final Fantasy XV SI
·         Bells LOVES anything that’ll make them look cute and androgynous. They’re super partial to a femme prince aesthetic. Blouses and linens and vests and suspenders and a bunch of that cute shit. (Yes, this is my preferred fashion style and I wish I could look like that all the time.) They’re also into stuff like your average sundresses and such when it’s too hot for “princey” attire because hell yeah.
·         They’d hate to wear… hm… short party dresses? Cocktail dresses n shit. (No shade to those tho theyre cute. Just not Bellamy’s style.)
Junko Hisayo – Persona 5 SI
·         Junko’s super masc and butch in her presentation, binds her chest, does the simple graphic tee + jeans thing a lot. Think “Kanji Tatsumi but a lesbian”.
·         She lowkey doesn’t like wearing overly feminine clothes, like, she does not vibe with dresses.
Elizabeth Beaufort – Red Dead Redemption 2 SI
·         Lizzie is pretty standard when it comes to clothes: blouses and skirts, dresses, all just… really basic stuff. She likes simple and solid colours, maybe simple patterns. She’s also like… very cottagecore. Probably likes overalls if she ever wears ‘em?? I’m not a frickin’ historian and I’m not gonna google early 1900s clothes styles at this hour don’t @ me.
·         This is literally just because I’m basic as all fuck and I like a skirt/blouse or sundress style outfit. I don’t wear it often but that’s my jazz y’know?
Gillian Wright – Red Dead Redemption 2 SI
·         Gilley’s another one of my more boyish characters. She doesn’t deliberately go out of her way to look like a man unless she’s under the guise of her male persona Giles Kingsley. But let me tell you—she goes all out for those occasions, even electing to simulate stubble on her face with cosmetics. Think “cowboy drag king” and you’ll hit the mark.
·         Other than that, she just wears whatever’s convenient and comfortable.
 9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?
As dumb as this sounds I completely burnt out after writing only 2 self insert likes/interests profiles, forgive me lol.
Bellamy Amplexus – Final Fantasy XV SI
·         Favourite Food: Bells is indecisive, but they will gladly eat anything Ignis puts in front of them. They’re thoroughly convinced he uses magic in his cooking. (They’re only half joking about that—it’s so good!) If they were made to decide a top three, it’d likely be Garden Curry, Broiled King on a Stick, and Moogle Mousse with Kupoberry Sauce. Honorable mention being Gyashi Chips (yes, they like what’s effectively Eosian kale chips).
·         Favourite Colours: ANYTHING PASTEL will win Bellamy over, along with any colour considered light and airy. White, silver, pale green, soft gold, baby blue, lavender, and also whatever the sky has going on at any given time of the day—they’re an aesthetic little shit.
·         Favourite Activities: Travelling, leisure shopping when funds allow it (if given the means, Bellamy will 100% engage in excessive retail therapy, no joke), swimming, loving their friends, talking about books and music, gardening, and (I know this sounds vain but bear with me) preening. Yes, they’d be a vlogger in another life. Don’t @ me
·         Bells loves to talk in excess about what they like, and on occasion, when words fail, they tend to express it through squealing, jumping, etc. If someone points out how passionate Bells is about these things, they’ll end up flustered and ask the person if they could continue. I guess you could say Bellamy stims? I’m not diagnosed with anything, so take this with a grain of salt, but I do have stimming habits.
Junko Hisayo – Persona 5 SI
·         Favourite Food: Junko’s pretty partial to miso soup. It’s one of her weaknesses. Total comfort food. (Bro I fuckin’ love miso soup.) As well as baked goods like cupcakes.
·         Favourite Colours: Red, black, silver, pink, blue, purple.
·         Favourite Activities: drawing (sketches, scribbles, doodles, colouring, etc., singing, baking/cooking, writing, and she learned to love gardening after getting close to Haru.
·         Junko tends to show her happiness through verbal and artistic expression, she’s also the type that tends to crack jokes (mostly shitty puns followed up by finger guns).
Again, thank you so much for asking, thank you so much for asking! QwQ Asks are still open, everyone.
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sweetdeathwrites · 6 years ago
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Sapphic, Savvy?
Summary: Sometimes, coming out is harder for some people than others. Kyoko is one of those people.
Warnings: sexual suggestiveness, fears about coming out
~[Kyoko/Fem!Reader]~
(original author’s note, sorry, it’s long–– 
WOW I LOVE KYOKO, MY GIRLFRIEND!!!! #LetKyokoBeMyWife2k17 i love her!! alright, in all seriousness, if there were a lot of wlw reader-inserts, or even girl/gender neutral fits, i probably would've realized I liked girls a lot sooner. And if there were more gender neutral fics I probably would've realized I'm nonbinary sooner too... haha, well, I hope this helps someone! Or is just entertaining! Either is great, haha! I want more Kyoko/reader fics... I love my gf and I'm pretty sure I've only seen one more Kyoko/reader fic here on Luna....if you write any, send them to me, alright? I love Kyoko so much, she's so good and sweet!!! also, that pun in the title? When i first thought of it I snorted out loud. Like that was a thing I actually did because I thought it was just the best pun ever. I actually snorted. also, Bianchi totally has had same gendered lovers. There is no way she hasn't— i mean, she works in the mafia and there HAS to be some situations where she's needed to be a seductress for a woman. Also my head canon for her is that she's not straight. She's definitely had a girlfriend before, before Reborn probably. She's so iconic, the butch and femme ideal, the best of both worlds.... i love her.... ok, shoutout to GuardianAngel07! not for anything in particular (ok there's always reason, but this is just a casual shout out!!1!) but she's a huge inspiration to me and she's so kind, sweet, and supportive, that I think she deserves a shoutout! She deserves more than one, but this will have to do for now! Thanks for everything~)
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The peaceful calm of dawn is broken by the rustling of bedsheets and a duvet over a too-small bed. Your mouth stretched wide in a yawn and you roll over to face your beautiful girlfriend. She smiled, cheeks rosy and her long lashes cast even longer shadows over her cherubic face. You smiled. ‘Sasagawa Kyoko,' you mused, ‘My very own goddess.’ She stirred in her sleep- just the smallest bit- but it was enough for you to freeze and wait for her to settle back down again. Through her window, you could see faint sunbeams cover the horizon and you knew you should be getting up soon, or else you both would be late to school. What a bother. “Kyoko-chan,” you whispered, breath soft and warm in the crook of her neck. A hand gently rubbing the side of her ribcage that was accessible from your awkward angle. Kyoko laid comfortably curled up against you with her hands splayed over your stomach and tangled in your hair. Your leg was tossed over her hip and your toes curled when Kyoko hummed, dreaming sweetly. You called for her again and brought a hand up to caress her face, skimming a thumb over her plump lips. “Baby…” She whined in her sleep, a long, airy noise. You bit your lip. A devious, delicious idea comes to mind and you figure you have just enough time to carry through with it before you have to get ready to go to school- or at least you have time to start it. You leaned over and kissed Kyoko’s shoulder, bare from the thin straps of her silky pink slip, and nipped on it delicately. Kyoko’s breath hitched and you grinned. Slowly, you brought your hands up to brush the hair out of her face and to stroke her with. “Honey…” She still didn’t wake up. Honestly, this girl will be the death of you. With a heavy sigh, you went back to your plan of giving her unrelenting, adoring affection until she wakes. You planted soft, ticklish kisses all up her neck and when you got to her jawline you grazed her soft skin with your teeth. Kyoko made another sound in her sleep, though this time, just a little less innocent. She’s just too good. You curled a strand of her hair behind her ear and out of your way for you to breathe hotly, “Princess…” and she giggled. “Ah,” you said, “I knew you were just pretending.” Kyoko rolled over to face you completely, one hand hiked your leg higher up her hip, up to her waist, and the other hand brushed your own flyaways out of your eyes to she could see you better. “Of course I was. I wanted you to wake me up, like Sleeping Beauty!” “But you’re already my princess, Kyo-chan!” Her laughs and the sound of her joy light up the room. A stealthy arm wrapped around her waist to pull her closer. “You know what, baby?” She smiled. “What?” “When I marry you, on our wedding night, I just can’t wait to get into bed with you. Wait—I-I mean,” You stutter, not at all meaning to make an innuendo but making the best of it, “I already have you in my bed,” Kyoko rolls her eyes, “But I can’t wait to be married to you. It’ll be so sweet. We can wake up and kiss and make breakfast together, eat it on our porch, eat it in our garden. We can be so… domestic, y’know?” Birds sang in the distance and you could feel the refreshing breeze that came through the window on your back. Kyoko’s face, bathed in honey-golden sunlight with her eyes sparkling, was just enough to show that she was just as excited as you were about your future wedding. “I’ll make sure to grow lots of vegetables. You need to keep healthy, honey, I won’t tolerate you getting sick on me!” She scolded you teasingly, punctuating her words with a playful kiss on your nose. “And I,” you retorted, “will make sure that you eat all the cakes I bake for you. I gotta keep you sweet and soft somehow, right?” A delighted laugh meets your ears in response. “Yeah,” she said, “you better do that.” You sighed in content. You never got over how beautiful she was, no matter how long you gazed at her, no matter how many times you get lost in those orange-blossom eyes of hers, no matter how many times you kissed those cherry lips of hers, no matter how many times- “Hey!” She caught your attention. “What’re you doing?” Smirking, you yanked her closer with your leg wrapped around her waist until your hips meet and she gasped. “What aren’t I doing?” Before you had time to make another move, she held you by the nape of your neck and kissed you. Unlike most of her delicate kisses, this one is hotter, needier. It surprised you. No, it’s not even that needy- she’s just trying to prove to you that she can make the first move! Your heart swells with love at her dedication to make you happy, to make things...more interesting, in your relationship. You hummed happily into the kiss. That’s when Kyoko really took charge. Her hands traveled to the front of your sleep shirt and she started unbuttoning it. Wow. This was bold and you were enjoying this new side of Kyoko very much. She slid a well-manicured hand in the opening of your shirt and pressed her palm flat on your stomach. You jumped a little and yelped into the kiss- her hands were cold! As expected, she giggled a little as well, the little minx! Not willing to give up just yet, you squeezed her rear firmly and she bit your lip gently. Your hand- warm- slides up the back of her pretty pink slip and— “Kyoko-chan! Wake up! It’s time to get extremely ready for school!” Ryohei, Kyoko’s older brother with no sense of personal space, barged in the room and you had to pretend like you weren’t just swapping spit and getting hot and heavy with his little sister. “B-Big brother!” she shouted, yanking the fluffy duvet over the two of you until the only visible parts of you were from the chin up. “We’re in our pajamas! My best friend is in her pajamas!” “So?” Ryohei tilted his head in confusion. “So you can’t see her like this! She can’t get married if you do!” Kyoko yelled and threw a stuffed animal at the door. Ryohei shouted back how extremely sorry he is and that he will not affect your chances of getting married, for sure, so not to worry about that. You buried your head in Kyoko’s chest and screamed quietly in embarrassment. After that fiasco, Kyoko made sure to lock the door the next time you come over. You leaned on the sink in her bathroom, brushing your teeth with the toothbrush that you both decided would stay at her house since you sleep over so often. Next to you stands your girlfriend, already dressed in her school uniform and brushing out her short, caramel hair. She caught your eye in the mirror and bumps you with her hip; you bump her right back. You rinsed out your mouth and gave Kyoko a minty kiss on the lips. “Sorry I kissed you with my gross morning breath,” you said and straightened out the bow around her neck, “and sorry for making out with you and, like, grinding on you when your brother came in.” Those caramel locks of hers flew as she shook her head passionately. “No! It’s not your fault that happened. And I had gross morning breath too, so we’re even.” She grinned and playfully unbuttons your pajama shirt again. You raised an eyebrow; was she really going to go through with this? Right now? Well, you wouldn’t complain anyway. It would be worth coming to school late. You were a senior already anyway, so the school wouldn’t give you too much grief about being tardy. A pile of clothes smacked against your face, waking you from your daydreams. Kyoko was already walking out of the bathroom, a teasing sway in her hips as she closed the door behind her, leaving you alone to get dressed for the day. You grinned. What a minx. “I’ll see you later, Ryohei. Thanks for letting me stay over!” You bowed slightly to Ryohei. Sure, you’ve known him for years, but you can at least be polite if he was going to nearly catch you making out with his dearly beloved little sister. “I hope you two have an extremely good day!” he shouted and waved enthusiastically. Around his waist was a frilly pink apron that read “KISS THE COOK”. The door shut with an audible click. Ever since he graduated, he’s been staying at home during the day, doing domestic house chores and exercising. At night he took college classes which allowed you and Kyoko enough time to finish homework and cuddle up in front of the television without interruptions. Also it gave you more time to kiss. “Come on, let’s get going!” Kyoko started walking quickly, leaving you behind. “We can’t be late for school! Tsu-kun is probably waiting!” “Oh, he’ll be late anyway, Kyo-chan, what’s the rush?” You pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and slapped her behind lightly, turning her laugh to a gasp. “Oh!” she whispered, scandalously glancing around to make sure no neighbors saw that. “Don’t do that! We’re in public!” Her cheeks were burning brightly. Contrary to her scolding tongue, a smile graced her lips. Just when you were about to kiss those smiling lips, the door behind you slammed open again and a certain white-haired brother tumbled out of it, shouting. “Hey! You two!” Kyoko whipped around with a look of shock painted on her face. Ryohei held up two pretty boxes. “You forgot your lunches!” Ryohei shoved a bento into your arms and reeled a bit when he saw Kyoko’s face. With scrunched brows, he placed a hand over Kyoko’s forehead. “Sis, are you feeling alright? You’re pretty warm. You’re not…” he gasped, “extremely sick, are you?” “Aah, no, I’m...I’m fine,” Kyoko assured him. You smile faintly at her. Wind buffeted your hair and Kyoko reached down to make sure her skirt didn’t lift in the breeze. Another beautiful day in Namimori. If it wasn’t for school, you probably would be taking a walk in a park with Kyoko, or maybe even a trip to the zoo. She really loved watching the otters swim around. “Hey...Kyoko?” “Hmm?” “Do you not want people to know we’re dating?” Kyoko slowed her walking until she stood still. Her soft hair covered her eyes so you couldn’t judge her expression very well but her demeanor was frozen. “No,” she said, “it’s not that… It’s…” Kyoko trailed off and let her sentence be carried off by the wind. You slowly made your way to where she stood on the road and slid an arm around her neck, dropping your bag to the ground. “Hey,” you touch your forehead to hers, startling Kyoko so her eyes drifted up to yours. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Don’t feel pressured or anything… If you’re not ready to tell everyone just yet, I can wait. I’ll wait forever if it’s for you, Kyo-chan,” you bumped your nose with hers and she giggled quietly. “I just want everyone to know that you’re mine~” She laughed again, “Don’t be ridiculous!” and shook her head. “There’s nobody that wants to steal me away from you, silly!” The two of you decided that it was time to start walking to school again. “Of course people want to date you! You’re cute, sweet, and really smart! Don’t you know you’re, like, the prettiest girl in school?!” You gawked at Kyoko’s humbleness, but what she was saying just wasn’t true! “Haven’t you seen how Tsuna looks at you?!” “Tsu-kun?” Kyoko put a finger to her chin in thought. “Hmm… No, I think you’re just imagining things!” You squinted at Kyoko’s inability to see how blatant Tsuna’s love for her was. Kyoko took your hand in hers and when you glanced over at her her face was beet-red. You smiled and started to swing your hands together. “Thank you…” she said. “For what?” “Just thanks…” You laughed. She could be so strange sometimes! “Hey!” A thin voice called out. When you turned around, you were greeted by the sight of Tsuna, Yamamoto, and Hayato jogging towards you and Kyoko. You felt her grip loosen until she let go of your hand completely. You didn’t realize how cold your hands were until you weren’t holding hers. “Hi, guys!” Kyoko chirped, voice as chipper as ever. They all responded with a greeting of their own and it didn’t take long for bickering between the boys to begin, and it took even less time for Tsuna to begin getting chatty with Kyoko. You smiled. Poor boy didn’t know your girlfriend was a lesbian. You didn’t realize the fighting between Gokudera and Yamamoto had ended until Gokudera was very close to your side and already speaking. You didn’t catch a word of his sentence. “Sorry, what?” “I said, ‘You and Kyoko are pretty close, aren’t you?’” Green eyes slyly met your own. “I don’t have a single clue, Gokudera-kun.” Despite your denial, you couldn’t keep your mouth from splitting in a wide, toothy grin. Gokudera snorted at your terrible acting. The sounds of the rest of the group turned to background noise. “You and Kyoko are dating, aren’t you?” Gokudera had a smug grin of his own on his face. It took everything you had to not break out in laughter where you were and collapse to the ground in stitches. “What do I look like,” you began, “a person that would date super cute girls and love them with all my heart?” Gokudera seemed to choke a bit at that but when he collected himself he agreed vehemently. You sighed in relief when the lunch bell rang— finally, a break from your classes. The halls were busy with students rushing out to buy food and drinks from the vending machines on the school’s perimeter while your own little group rushed up to the roof to eat in peace. Opening the door, you were temporarily blinded by the sun and heard Gokudera swear somewhere behind you. Yamamoto laughed and was promptly told to shut his trap while Tsuna tried (fruitlessly) to disband the two’s bickering. As you sat down between Yamamoto and Tsuna, you didn’t realize Kyoko wasn’t with you until you had already began to eat the bento Ryohei had packed for the two of you. Surprisingly, his food was quite good. You’d expect it to be burnt, with how fiery Ryohei’s personality was and how easily he was distracted, but his cooking skills had vastly improved from how they were the year before. He’d get a wife easily if he kept up that work. You told the gang you’d go looking for Kyoko real quick and Tsuna nodded, asking if he should come as well. “No,” you replied, “I’ll be just fine.” You didn’t miss Gokudera’s raised eyebrow and had to bite your tongue hard to keep from snickering. “Kyo-chan?” You weaved your way in and out of climbing vines with nearly ripe fruit hanging off, begging to be stolen, and did your best to not dirty your shoes in the soft dirt underfoot. The gardening club had been granted a pretty little space behind the school to do their activities, since the sports clubs used the front of the school grounds. Almost no one except the gardening club came back here. Almost. A lot of couples, you and Kyoko included, would come to make out by the tomatoes and sunflowers; the gardens were a very romantic place for teenagers to get hot and heavy with their lovers. “Kyo-chan? Are you here?” You spotted a head of ginger hair crouched on the cool cement under the shade of an old tree that bordered the gardens. Poor Kyo-chan. “Honey?” Kyoko lifted her head at your call and her lips were pouty and red from gnawing on them. You felt your brow furrow and you came to sit next to her, bringing an arm around her neck to tuck the hair behind her ear and to draw her in closer to you. “Hey,” You whisper. Kyoko leaned into your reclined body, “what’s going on?” She sighed and buried her face in the crook of your neck. You prodded her tummy with wriggling fingers and felt her laugh. “Don’t tickle me!” “I’ll stop when you tell me what’s bothering you!” “You’re so silly!” Kyoko beamed. Then her cheeriness faded and she let her head rest on your shoulder again. “I…” she whispered, “I want to tell people about us…about me and you… But I don’t know what to say… What if they don’t like us?” “Hey.” “…” “Hey,” you grabbed her gently by the shoulder and made her face you. Holding her chin with your fingers and brushing stray strands of hair out of her eyes, you could see the watery sheen they held. “Kyo-chan… There’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re not ashamed of me… are you?” At your timid question, Kyoko reeled back like she had been electrocuted. “Of course I’m not ashamed of you!” she nearly yelled. Her eyes widened when she heard just how loud she was and she leaned in and said quietly, “I’ll never be ashamed of you… I just wish it wasn’t so hard to—” “—come out?” Kyoko laughed, voice tired, and hummed in agreement. Her hand creeped into yours and she softly squeezed your palm and played with your fingers. “Don’t worry, princess, you don’t have to do a thing if you don’t want to. It takes time, y’know? You can’t just decide to tell everyone you know something so personal in a day. It can take a long time… some people never do it. Just—” you coughed, not used to saying such emotionally-wrought things so early in the morning. Heck, at any time of day— Kyoko was always the one that was good with emotions in your relationship. “—just know that everyone loves you. If you’re worried about something changing with the guys, or with your family, don’t be. What’s this, the sixties? Everyone’s a little gay, Kyoko—” Kyoko burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter at your comment. “—okay, fine, not everyone, but a lot of people are! Including me and you~” you nuzzled your nose on Kyoko’s rosy cheeks and nipped her ear when she turned away from your ticklish affections. “I think you mean especially us- and not just a little bit, a lot!” Kyoko swished her finger in the air like he was making a point— and she was, a very, very valid one. She turned around and held your face firmly in her small hands as she planted lots of kisses over your face until you were in happy tears, begging her to stop and let you catch a breath! She rolled off you onto the ground, seemingly uncaring of the whiteness shirt or maybe she just forgot how dusty the concrete by the gardens were. “Baby, we should be heading back to the boys now, what do you think? You don’t want them to suspect anything, right? Actually,” you snorted in a way that Kyoko found cute (it was really wasn’t, though), “Gokudera already knows.” “What?” Kyoko gasped. “Yeah. I guess he knows from growing up with his sister. She’s so hot, I don’t doubt she had a lot of lovers, same gendered or not.” Rolling your eyes, you tried to imagine Bianchi with a woman. It was extremely easy to imagine her having a woman as a lover. You giggled, feeling like you had a secret that no one else knew. “Hey!” Kyoko whined, “Are you imagining other women? I’m right here!” Kyoko pouted. Just as you were going to apologize and explain to her what you found so funny when Kyoko surprised you yet again. “You don’t even have to imagine with me! Just do it!” And Kyoko kissed you hard on the mouth. With a little more teeth than you were used to, but Kyoko seemed to really enjoy taking charge recently. It was nice. She carded her hands through your hair and tilted your head back by your hair so she could get a better angle. You kissed her back with tenderness, content in having her in your arms. Kyoko had something else in mind, though. Crawling into your lap, her weight on you was also a bonus of her trying to pry a better kiss out of you. You lost yourself in the softness of her lips and the nip of her teeth when she changed the angle of her neck, and just the slightest hint of her smooth tongue skimming your bottom lip and— “K-Kyoko-chan?!” You pull away from Kyoko with tousled hair and swollen lips to see Tsuna standing— well, fallen, really, on the ground a few feet away from the two of you. Kyoko still perched on your lap, your mind drew a blank when you tried to think of an escape plan and an explanation, short of throwing Kyoko into the garden and pretending like nothing happened. Tsuna’s face was red as hot iron and he was probably as heated as it too as he stammered, “W-We were wondering if something happened to you two, s-since you were gone so long and Gokudera-kun said to go looking for you but… I-I can go, actually, right n-now—” “Wait!” Kyoko yelled, her face buried in your chest. You could feel an awkward bead of sweat rolling down the side of your neck… Why was she telling him to stay with her head shoved in your chest? Truly, it was a strange turn of events and Kyoko wasn’t making your situation look any more innocent… “I’m in love, Tsu-kun!” “E-Eh?” “That’s right!” Kyoko picked up your hands and held them tightly in hers, “I’m in love with a girl! I don’t care what you think either; we are absolutely perfect together and I love her very much! Our love is pure, organic, and beautiful!” Kyoko’s eyes burned with a passion you could only assume to be prevalent throughout the Sasagawa family as she announced her love for you to your dear friend. Your lip quivered and tears began to fog your vision. Happy they were, but you blinked hard to clear them. An event as important as this meant you couldn’t miss a single second of it. “Um,” Tsuna began, keeping his eyes level with Kyoko’s gaze even as his face burned, “That’s not a problem at all? I mean, I’m happy for both of you, but you didn’t have to hide it or anything… I’m just… surprised, that’s all.” Kyoko took a second to process that and during the awkward silence that followed, Tsuna shuffled his feet. Kyoko still hadn’t moved from your lap… Really, it was making this situation more trying than it needed to be… “C-Can I go now?” Tsuna sheepishly asked for permission. Kyoko nodded slowly and Tsuna practically sprinted away from the sight of his long-time crush making out with her best friend. You couldn’t blame him. The look on Kyoko’s face gave you a clear view to all the machinery working in her mind, every gear and cog rotating, still trying to understand what just happened. “Oh,” she finally said. “That was a little easier than I thought.” “You girls are such terrible actors,” Gokudera said with a cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth, his hands upturned in a show of dramatic disappointment. “Really? I had no idea! I think you could make it to Hollywood! Haha, invite me to lots of award shows, I want to meet famous celebrities~” Yamamoto laughed and opposed Gokudera’s opinion. He smiled and went on about how he was just going to help a friend ask the both of you on a date. Good thing he didn’t, Yamamoto chimed. “Shut up, baseball freak,” grumbled Gokudera, already drained of Yamamoto’s presence in your friend group. “Whaaat? Ah, you’re so mean, Gokudera-kun!” Yamamoto teased and playfully hit Gokudera’s shoulder, resulting in another fight between the two opposites. Kyoko leaned into you as the five of you walked home, going through a nearby shopping mall to get a bite to eat first. Your arm was wrapped around her waist and pulling her in close. Both of your hips bumped with each step but it was only a mild annoyance—a trade off in exchange for being able to openly adore your girlfriend. “How do you like this?” “I love it,” Kyoko smiled and nuzzled into your neck, causing you to jump and smack her lightly with your schoolbag. A loud commotion sounded from a grocery store to your left. A young man in a white apron yelled into a crowd about the store’s outrageously cheap deals of the month and flocks of mothers held crumpled coupons in their waving fists. The air smelled like grilled meat and the small food stands outside the grocery store must have been making a fortune off of the hungry shoppers. Suddenly, a familiar turf top came into view, much more weary than he was this morning and carrying a ridiculous amount of brown paper bags, overflowing with his purchases. “Big brother!” Kyoko said in surprise. Ryohei made a similar greeting when he noticed how close you two were, and Kyoko took notice of it as well— she didn’t shy away but you could feel heat creeping up her neck. Ryohei’s eyes widened for a second before he broke out in a grin that reached his ears. “Aah, you’re finally together? I’m extremely happy for you!” Ryohei’s explosive personality returned and he beamed brightly, murmurs of agreement echoing faintly within your friend group as well. “E-eh?” Reeling back in confusion, Kyoko blinked and tilted her head, “You knew?” Of course Kyoko was shocked; she went through every precaution to make sure that her romantic relationship with her best friend was a secret! The bags in Ryohei’s arms crinkled as he shook his head at Kyoko’s naivety. “Do you think I really wouldn’t be able to tell when my precious baby sister was in love? I’m not that dull, Kyoko-chan!” he guffawed. Laughter bubbled up in your stomach, growing and growing until you were in peels of laughter, wiping happy tears from your eyes. The two of you never needed to hide anyway! While you were busy laughing until your stomach hurt, you didn’t notice that Kyoko had dropped her school bag until she spun you by the shoulders and kissed you. All of her fear melted away like ice and her overflowing joy infected you, breaking the kiss through your ecstatic giggles. Her pretty honey eyes were shining with mirthful tears and she rested her forehead on yours, smiling softly all the while she told you, “I love you.” Faintly, you heard the loud voice of a certain boxer who did a terrible job of hiding his fondness for the two of you yell, “Hey, you two should extremely get a room!”
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thesffcorner · 6 years ago
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Passing Strange
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Passing Strange is a novella written by Ellen Klages. It follows several queer characters living in 1940 San Francisco; we mostly focus on Emily, a performer at Mona’s and Haskel, a painter who does covers for pulp novels. This was a strange little novella. It’s both a love story and not; it sort of focuses on Haskel and Emily, but it also doesn’t. It’s not a bad story by any means, but the way it was delivered was very odd and I’m still not sure what exactly the plot or the point of it were. We start in present day San Francisco, and we are introduced to Helen. Naturally I thought Helen would be our protagonist, but she really isn’t; she’s definitely a major supporting character, but when we cut back to the past story-line, nothing that happens involves her directly, and the plot isn’t about her, so I found this a strange choice. We follow Helen as she brings in a mint condition painting done by Haskel, a supposedly prolific male painter who covers for pulpy literary magazines and books. I found it kind of funny and fitting that of course people would immediately assume that Haskel is a man because she drew covers of naked ladies in peril, and the whole conversation between Helen and the bookshop owner was pretty funny. There were things in this novella that I thought were interesting and well done; the girls talk a lot about the ridiculously sexist and oftentimes bewildering double standards of the 40’s. I had no idea there was such a thing as a law prohibiting women from wearing men’s clothing and having to wear 3 articles of clothing with a label from a female company. I also didn’t know that establishments like Mona’s bar were even legal, considering how staunch and vehemently homophobic the laws were in the 40’s. While for example the 3 article thing was amusing, the time period was anything but for women, PoC or queerfolk. While Klages maintains a rather light tone, some of the things that happen in the book were really horrific, like Jack being arrested, Fanny not being able to own her own property because she shares it with a ‘live in partner’, everything to do with Lev, or Helen’s entire life as a performer in horribly racist entertainment. However, none of the women are really victims in the story, which I really appreciated. Everyone lives their lives as best as they can; Helen doesn’t like what she’s forced to perform, but it pays her bills; she doesn’t like that queer women can be visible only as a tourist attraction, but it means they can exist publicly. There is some talk of bisexuality, there’s discussion of labeling between lesbians as butch and femme and how rigid those labels can be, while not everyone wanting to identify as one or the other. There were also very amusing bits, like Haskel being a student of Diego Rivera and knowing Frida; now that’s a story I want to read. I also liked Emily being extremely good at playing men and being tomboyish and androgynous, while still firmly being a woman and not wanting to identify as a butch. The parts of the novella I found weakest were the magic. It’s discussed, but it’s so rarely used on the page that I felt like I was reading a work that falls within a larger universe where the other books established the magic system and the world. The plot too was flimsy; since we spend so much time with characters that are not Haskel and Emily, by the time we actually get to their love story I didn’t have a great grasp on them as characters. I feel like this could have maybe worked as either a longer work, that fleshes out the world more, and gives each of the 6 women their own subplot or focused more tightly on Emily and Haskel. Overall, it was a fine story. I can’t say I loved it, but if you are in needs of some period queer fiction with a happy resolution and some magic, check it out.
goodreads
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howmanyheartaches · 7 years ago
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Dear Michiru,
 This year, on the day of your birth, I’ll write to you, not about you. Please know I’m truly scared to craft you a letter. I’m well aware my speech isn’t as articulated at yours. And I write for a living!
 The “Sailor Moon” anime from the 90s doesn’t give much away from how you’ve been brought up. But one can tell you’re a poor little rich girl. My parents aren’t rich, but love me, so please feel hugged. You know you want it, deep down. What we do see throughout the two seasons you’re starring in is your real growth. You might pretend like you excel perfectly at all times, but what happens once you’re feeling comfortable with your girlfriend, adopted daughter, co-mom and your magical girl friends? You’re happy. You’re giggling. You make faces. This is a first from the Sailor Senshi acting gracefully at all times.
 I’ve been working non-stop since I’m 16, for different magazines, events, publishers. I had that too once I finally met my Haruka. I could let go (until I couldn’t, for a while). You’re a violinist and a painter. I ran the school’s newspaper and shone at the drama club. My first short story got published with a magazine eleven years ago. I was well ahead of my class with languages, expected to leave the country and go abroad. I didn’t. Just like you couldn’t do a lot of things – you’re Sailor Neptune after all, battling demons. I, myself, was battling my own demons. Fighting the good fight, and losing it a lot of times.
 When I met you at the age of 7, roughly, the German dub didn’t censor that you have a wife, whilst the American dub made you and Haruka cousins. Without cutting out all the lovey-dovey glances, the pinning, the sexual innuendos. What got to me like it got to a lot of young girls was Haruka’s raspy, sexy voice. And how you control every situation. It’s our blessing, it’s our curse. I’d pick you when we played “Sailor Moon” in the kindergarten, of course. Hoping my Haruka would come one day.
 I always yearn for the ocean, just like you. It gives me peace, because I’m troubled a lot. Haruka asks you to not leave into your dream world and her behind, a glimpse of the fact that you, too, have desires, no matter how full your plate is. You’re a busy girl, with saving the world and all.
 “Sailor Moon”, in a way, made being a lesbian feel natural. I was drawn back to you time after time. Yes, I soon met Willow Rosenberg, and got her name as a nickname. Later, I would meet Emily Fields, for example. And still, they weren’t like you. They didn’t dedicate their lives to butches, the tomboys with the marshmallow heart. And though they were badass side characters, you had the starring role in my heart.
 I re-met you in my darkest times. A virus started to take over my life for a while and I worked myself deeper and deeper into my stomach pain, whilst working on my latest novel. At that time, it only helped to watch “Sailor Moon” reruns. At first, I was pretending to not count how many episodes it would take me till the two of you would appear. Then I couldn’t deny it any longer and asked my best friend how to do a cosplay. She’s been into that for a while – and I’ve wanted to cosplay your Mugen school uniform for the last twenty years. Sewing soothed me.
 Not only your school uniform impressed me. From all of the “Sailor Moon” Senshi, them all making some very 90s fashion choices, you made the boldest fashion moves. I love Yuuka Asami playing you in the Sera Myus with a nice 50s capri pants. I love your love for floral dresses. And the look of your hair constantly changes, not only because it’s meant to be a metaphor for your element, the sea. But also, because you love hair ribbons – just like I and Blair Waldorf, another important girl to me, do!
 What you and Blair have in common? You calculate things. I, too, can scheme a lot. I’m not even pretending I wouldn’t. If someone wants to play games, fine, let’s. I’m not always likeable, especially to my interns, because I’m ambitious and have high standards. Oh, girls like us get underestimated a lot. Ara.
 You and I, we’re femmes. We’re the super female part to our butches. Being highly femme often means, in the eye of everyone, to be weak. Because womanhood still leaves the impression on everybody to be the weaker gender, obviously. Michiru Kaioh, fighting evil by moonlight, kissing butches by daylight. It was you who took a thousand bullets for Haruka – not Sailor Uranus! – during that fight in the Marine Cathedral. It was you to step in front of Haruka, when a motorcycle gang wanted to beat her up. While wearing laced hand gloves, mind you. And you’re such a ladyboss at that! In the special, right after third season, that follows you going on vacation and chasing away nurses, who a feverish Haruka flirts with, you literally wait to announce you don’t want wine right before the first drop fills the glass. The waiter bows and rushes away, shocked by your mere hand gesture.
 Now, I’m glad I went after my impulse to cosplay you. And write fanfiction about my one true pairing, since at that time, I felt like I couldn’t go on writing fiction anymore. I was so uninspired and then I met such good friends and the love of my life because of you and Haruka. They’ve all supported changing my journalistic work from hipster stuff I just don’t care anymore to subjects about things like … you. Gosh, I published a lot about you and the things you’d enjoy. That I truly enjoy.
 You gave me the power to continue fighting. For us. For me, you, her, them.
 Thank you for everything, Michiru.
 Simone xx
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A small corner of the shrine I dedicated to you.
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myheartsoarsforyou · 5 years ago
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The gay asks, as many as you feel like doing. Starting at 1 stop when you feel like it
Oh, you don’t know what you’ve signed up for. I’ll put it under a readmore, lol. 
Just to note: Probably going to do most, if not all of them, so there you go. :)
how tall are you? 5′6″
what is your body type? Chubby, but curves are still there.
what is your favorite part about your body? Ehh, I don’t really like any part. My eyes, I guess?
is your current hair color your natural hair color? For now, but as soon as I’m able to get to my salon I’m dyeing it
are you more outgoing or more shy? Depends on the setting but for the most part definitely shy
are you more femme or butch? Femme I guess? I dunno, I’d argue probably somewhere in-between but leaning towards femme. 
are you tol or smol? Height wise? I guess kinda tol? Iunno I don’t think I’m either but hey! lol
wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt, but I don’t drink much anymore.
weird habit? Uhh idk?
favorite meme? Don’t talk me i angy
do you sing in the shower? Oh yes, especially if I have music going lol
ever used a bow and arrow? Not yet!
are/were you a theatre kid? Nope, 
have you ever seen a broadway musical? Not in person? 
do you think musicals are cheesy? Probably but that’s half the fun.
have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I wish, especially right now, but I would probably break down around that many people. I support as much as I can.
favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I don’t think I have a favorite?
last movie you watched? Silent Hill: Revelations
behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, 100%. I hate having my picture taken. i’ll make exceptions, but. 
favorite tv show? Mmmh... it used to be Supernatural but I don’t really watch TV. Maybe ATLA? I’m rewatching/finishing that sporadically.
meaning behind your url He makes my heart soar higher than ever.
reason you joined tumblr A looong time ago, because of SPN. 
who’s your closest tumblr friend? I don’t really talk to people on tumblr ?? I’m just kinda... here
what’s something most people love that you hate? Iunno o.o
have you ever taken narcotics? Technically yes I have
have you had sex? Mhmm
have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Err, yeah. I got caught with a ‘friend’ of mine when I was younger. Woops.
worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? I don’t remember any? I don’t know. 
describe your passion without mentioning it. Escape, building something completely new with friends, making friends within a universe you help shape, seeing and doing more fantastiscal things than could be done in real life. 
describe your best friend. I have two people I consider best friends. An artist, an activist, passionate about her work, heartfelt and exciteable. Another artist, unsure of his work but talented none the less, overly critical of himself. 
give us one thing about you that no one knows. I don’t think there’s much if anything that my bf doesn’t know about me?
how do you feel right now? my tummy hurts
what is your biggest fear? Losing him. 
what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Love Me - NU’EST
what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Definitely sticking it out and staying close to my bf before we got together and persuing things when the opportunity arose. 
have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? Very often in my life rn tbh
something you fantasize about. Living with my love in a 3 bedroom house with our little domestic zoo and being happy. 
last time you cried and why Saturday, multiple times. It was a rough day and was thinking a lot about my cousin (long story short he’s no longer around)
what was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably my boyfriend. 
do you really, truly miss someone right now? I miss my bf because I haven’t seen him irl in two years and it kills me. 
who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Bf
the last time you felt broken? Saturday again because of the aforementioned. 
are you starting to realize anything? That I will put up with a lot if I feel like I have to to see him. 
are you more dominant or more submissive? Definitely submissive, but I have my moments. 
i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) Mmm, I don’t really have strict qualifications. Treat me well, tell me if something’s up, and just love me. But I have that right now, so I guess the strict qualification is if he agrees & We’re good to be a polycule. 
do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I used to say strictly older, but honestly AS LONG AS it’s legal and moral either or. Bf’s two years younger than me and more mature than anyone older than me that I’ve been with so lol. 
describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. My height, great eyes, gorgeous to me, dyed-red hair, avid gamer, tattoo enthusiast. He’s passionate regardless of how he sees it, and he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love every part of him and I will even if things change. 
do you have any kinks? Many. Lol. 
first thing you notice in a person? Depends, sometimes eyes, sometimes voice, sometimes approachability lol.
how can someone win your heart? You’d have to ask my bf
been rejected by a crush? Yep! 
have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Oh yes lol
would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Actual texts? No. But if discord messages count - yes. lol
is trust a big issue for you? Yes
did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yes
is confidence cute? It can be, but there’s a fine line between it and arrogance. 
what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? It depends entirely on the situation. Did we agree on a romantic/sexual third? Sure. If not I’d probably be pretty upset. 
would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Probably not. 
does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? I should DEFINITELY hope so lmao
ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I’ve been in high school. 
do you want to get married I do, though I never thought I’d be able to say that
worst thing you’ve ever done? Probably cheating on someone I cared about with someone I should’ve never involved myself with. 
three things that turn you on. Biting, neck kisses, making out. 
who do you hate? Eh, my boss rn.
favorite term of endearment? My bf calls me kitten c: 
who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Probably Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer 
intimidating girls or kind girls? Why not both?
what do you look for in a possible partner? If we’d work well together lol, it all depends. 
do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? Err, a little of all? I tend to go for masc in general, but I am definitely interested in all of the above. 
are you good at flirting? Not...really lol
who was the first person you came out to? My bestie
do you have any friends who are wlw? Yep!
is your crush wlw? See, this is complicated. Technically at the moment no, but there has been gender questioning in the past and it’s possible that at some point in the future yes. 
last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? That’s been a long time ago lmao, I’ve been pretty confident I am Super Queer for a long while. 
write a short love poem to your crush/self? I am not good at these and very tired so I’m gonna pass on this one
do you fall in love easily? I used to, but not anymore. Mainly cause I’m still very deeply in love with the person I think is my soul mate. 
is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yerp.
are you good at hiding your feelings? Not really no
are you a forgiving person? I can be. Bf thinks I am too forgiving. 
what is your “type?” Uhh, it depends? And fluctuates? lol
fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? Both.
tall girls or short girls? Both, though prob tall more often than not.
hugs or kisses? Kisses
twirl her around or get twirled? Twiiiirl. 
tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Thigh
hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck
play with her hair or stroke her tummy? I have Two Hands
making out or soft kisses? Both, but I Really Like making out
hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Neck, but also both. 
how confident are you in your sexuality? 100%
when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Yes, a lot lol
have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? I would not be with my bf if this wasn’t the case. 
how old were you when you realized you were into girls? I think I was 13? 
most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? Uhhh... I don’t really remember lol
do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Yes! But it ended not great so :(
what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? I really hate when people say I should identify in a certain way because it’s a “slur” the whole point of reclaiming things is to take the ammunition out of it. And a lot of words have been slurs in the past that seem to be fully acceptable. 
when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? I don’t really remember. 
what is love to you? It can change but at its heart it makes you feel warm and soft, and makes you feel a little bit better about the bad things in life. 
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nellie-elizabeth · 7 years ago
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Grey's Anatomy: Break Down The House/Get Off On The Pain (14x01/02)
Grey's Anatomy is a soap opera. I mean that's not a surprise to anybody, but every once in a while you see episodes that reminds you - Grey's Anatomy is a soap opera. I don't even mean that in a bad way, actually. This episode had a lot of great moments, and the extreme drama of them is what made them great. It also had just one or two moments that had me on the verge of an eye-roll... let's take a look.
Cons:
To anyone who's been reading my reviews, it'll be no surprise to you that I'm annoyed about Amelia. Owen has his sister back, and Amelia has been avoiding him and acting horribly. Then Owen tries to talk to her about it, since he knows something is really wrong, and she lashes out again. All last season I kept saying that Amelia needed to get over herself, and now we learn, thanks to her participation in a sex study (I'll get to that later) that her erratic behavior is actually because she has a giant brain tumor. Okay... did we not already do this with Izzy? This was the big shocking cliffhanger at the end of the two part episode, and it felt like the most cliche, overwrought thing that could have been done at this point. Amelia has been pissing me off for... well, forever now, and it seems like sort of a cop-out to blame all of her shitty behavior on a medical drama cliche like a brain tumor. A brain surgeon has a brain tumor?! Gasp. How surprising.
Maggie was also getting on my nerves a lot last season, and while she did have some good elements in this episode that I'll get to later, she still had one of her quintessential annoying moments. Nathan and Owen have decided not to tell Megan about Nathan and Meredith's relationship. Teddy thinks this is ridiculous, and Maggie agrees. She says that she was in Megan's position once, in that she found out about Nathan and Meredith and it was weird. Okay. The utter hubris of comparing what happened with her to what's going on with Megan is... ugh. Maggie. Please. I still can't believe how much she built up that whole thing. She had an unrequited crush on a guy. Nothing even happened, and he started dating someone else. How can you even compare the situations? She also spends her time being awkward around Jackson, and he spends his time being awkward right back. I'm convinced that this is perhaps the least interesting potential romantic relationship this show has ever done, right after DeLuca's unrequited thing for Jo. Please stop.
So, Eliza Minnick is gone. She ghosted Arizona and disappeared into the night after being fired. I mean, no particular skin off my back, since she was really annoying. But it's also annoying to see such a clear signal from the show that her presence was an utter waste of time. It takes absolutely nothing for Arizona to bounce back from this, and it takes no time for me as a viewer either. Eliza was such a poorly written character. Oh, and speaking of bouncing back - I'm really happy that Arizona found somebody to hook up with, and I'm actually rather pleased with the new character. But have you noticed that all the lesbians and bisexual women on this show are gorgeous, long-haired femme girls? Callie, Arizona, Eliza, and now Carina? Even Penny didn't have any sort of a butch vibe going on. I'm not trying to say that we need our lesbian characters to look like a cliche, but if they could not all be super hot ultra-feminine, that would be nice. Maybe this is a thing nobody cares about but me, but I apparently care a little bit about it.
Pros:
I'm gonna go through a few subplot elements before we talk about Megan Hunt.
April. Okay, so while I don't think Maggie and Jackson are interesting, I still kind of do think April and Jackson are interesting. They're a couple that I actually root for. I think they belong together. I like that April identified her pain and was honest to Jackson about it. As much as I want these two to work it out, for April's sake I hope she finds a way to be happy, with or without Jackson.
Arizona brings a woman home to her house and they're hooking up on the couch when DeLuca comes in. He sees this woman, and the two of them immediately start bickering in furious Italian. Turns out, this woman is Carina, DeLuca's older sister. She's actually a doctor too, and she goes in to meet with Bailey. Bailey has been having her own sort of internal feminist uprising as she laments the necessity of wearing uncomfortable heels to work, so when Carina suggests a sex study where women masturbate inside the MRI machine to study the effects of orgasms on the brain, Bailey decides to go for it.
This plot thread, setting aside the ending where Amelia has a stupid tumor, was pretty funny and great. Carina seems like a better match for Arizona than Eliza was. She's funny and sexy and the scene where she and DeLuca are yelling at each other while Arizona is shirtless on the couch was pretty hysterical. I also loved how everybody had this girlish interest in her sex study. Female sexuality is a very repressed topic, and it was fun to see it explored seriously. And Bailey getting rid of all her high heels was pretty fantastic. Ben is such a good husband - he points out to Bailey that her sexiest (and most uncomfortable) pair of heels will only hurt her if she tries to stand in them, leading to some fun sexy times.
Richard had the tiniest of little subplots with Maggie that I thought was quite fun. He's impressed with Meredith's bad-ass surgery skills, and tell Maggie that Meredith is just like Ellis. Maggie gets  a little competitive and asks if Richard ever compliments her, Maggie, when talking to Meredith. Richard says that while Meredith reminds him of Ellis, he likes to take credit for Maggie's success personally. This was a great moment to remind me that I didn't always dislike Maggie so much. If she could just stay away from the romance plots I think I'd be a lot more cool with her.
Jo and Alex. Another unsurprising fact for my readers is that I'm not super duper happy with Jo and Alex's romance as of late. But in this episode... I don't know. Maybe it was just that I know they're both in so much pain, and as annoying as Jo can be, I really do want Alex to be happy. Also, Alex told the truth to Jo, and the two of them seem like they could really make a good start out of this. Obviously the looming threat of Jo's husband is still out there, but for now I think they might be on solid footing. And kudos to Ben for playing the "new Stephanie" by supporting Jo through all of this craziness. Bailey correctly points out to him that he doesn't get to have an opinion about how Jo, a woman, feels in regards to Alex's violent attack of DeLuca. Ben agrees, but he still manages to help out by going to Alex and telling him the real problem - Jo is afraid of him. With that hurdle jumped, these two can finally move forward with their lives. I think I might like them better together and happy than I did when they were mutually angsting and pining.
Okay. Now for the main event. Megan is great. Admittedly, she's a little too well-adjusted to be somebody who's been held hostage for ten years, but when you hear her story it does make a little bit of sense. She was treated poorly at first, but eventually she was utilized as a doctor, and actually made friends and adopted a Syrian refugee as her son. She wasn't permitted to leave, but she was treated well. Her motivations are entirely about getting back to her adopted son. She has a serious abdominal injury, but wants to go with the quicker, more risky option in order to get back to her child sooner, instead of the safer, more painful option that will take much longer.
Everything about this setup kind of breaks my heart. Megan is really cool, and funny, and doesn't put up with nonsense from Owen or Nathan whatsoever. Meredith is the one who breaks the news to her about her past with Nathan, and Megan takes it in stride. She and Meredith seem to really like each other, and although Meredith's first surgery doesn't go as planned, the second one is a huge and innovative success that will get Megan back to her son in way less time.
Nathan breaks my heart. He's so devastatingly relieved to see Megan again, but obviously his feelings for Meredith can't just poof away. And Meredith is being so cool about the whole thing, stepping in as Megan's surgeon and doing an amazing job. April gives Nathan the advice that he needs to be all in with Megan, and let her know that he's there for her completely. He decides to propose, and we get another very soap opera-y moment when Meredith walks in to tell Megan it's time for her surgery, interrupting the proposal. Turns out, Megan says no, because she thinks Nathan is still in love with Meredith.
This is a love triangle, of sorts, but I love the fact that there's no animosity between the two women. Nathan has pined for Megan and missed her for ten years, but the fact remains that they've both moved on with their lives in big ways. Megan, as difficult as her time has been, has found a new family in her son. And Nathan has clawed his way back to a brotherly bond with Owen, and has found new love with Meredith. They can't just erase that and move back to where they were. And yet... the love is still real.
Oh yeah, and let's talk about Teddy. I didn't realize how much I had missed her until she was there! It was cool to see the scenes of her, Owen, Nathan, and Megan. These four all have a special bond that nobody else at the hospital could understand. I've always liked Teddy, and even though Owen was absolutely wrong to kiss her, I can see how it would be appealing for both of them to give this thing a shot. Of course, it just made me like Teddy even more that she said no. I don't know if she'll be around after this, but I'd love to see her integrate back into the story, even if just temporarily. It was so cute when Arizona saw her and immediately gave her a summary of everything that had happened - Callie left her and took Sofia and she found love again and then Eliza got fired - that's a lot of stuff to blurt out to somebody you haven't seen in years!
I'll end by saying that even though this episode had a lot of dark elements to it, it was undeniably a lighter episode than we've seen in a while. Megan is back and she's going to be okay, and all of the major surgeries in the episode were a success. Jo succeeded despite a med student dropping his glasses into the surgical field, Amelia succeeded with a delicate jaw surgery even against Jackson's disapproval and doubt, and Meredith found a way to help Megan get better quicker so she can return to her son. I'm always glad when we can get a bit of hope from this show, even if it is mixed in with a lot of interpersonal drama.
Well, there you have it. I'm back to writing reviews for this monstrosity of a show. I always forget how long these things take me... it's gonna be an adjustment getting back into it!
8/10
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