#but. we shall see
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queermania · 2 years ago
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i still can't fully articulate why dean's anger in dabb era bothers me, especially because i like the theme of him needing/wanting to overcome his trauma and break the cycle of abuse and do better than john winchester (or chuck) ever could. i think it's a compelling narrative and one that suits dean as a character. but there is something wrong with the execution of it and the only way i can think to describe it is that it feels off in the same way that sam flinching in 13x18 when dean gets angry and swipes stuff off the table feels off. like, it's not that i don't understand why a person would flinch when someone is being physically violent near them. i would for sure flinch in that scenario. but... sam isn't afraid of dean?? he wasn't even afraid of john?? and i'm not talking about a nuanced depiction of real world trauma and all the different ways that can manifest and change over the years. i'm talking about a tv show with an established history and family dynamics. sam isn't afraid of dean. his reaction doesn't make sense in the canon of the show. it's just off.
similar to the way dean holding a gun to kaia's head in his desperation to rescue mary is off.
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femmefitz · 7 months ago
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Okayyyy gn everyone. Tomorrow I go to a blacksmithing festival. Should be super fun!
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nevada-wrytes · 11 months ago
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Excerpt from There Were Six of Them
Lux
A Sunday in November, Junior Year
It was Sunday, and on Sundays the gang went out for brunch.
Today, the weather was so dark and rainy that Lux had mistakenly thought it was only seven in the morning when she woke up past ten. Even at eleven, when she had finally dragged herself out of bed, there was still a small shower that soaked through her Uggs.
Ugh, why she wore them, when they were impractical as hell, she had no answer.
Every Sunday their entire friend group straggled out of bed to flock to a restaurant for a late breakfast, usually Lux’s treat because she loved spending money on her friends. It was her way of making up for things, she supposed.
Because today was so cold and gloomy, they decided to go to a retro dinner by the main street in town for some cheer. It wasn't far, so Lux decided to walk.
On her way, she pulled out her phone, reading through messages in the group chat to make sure everyone was going to be there.
She cherished these moments when they were all together, not that they were few and fleeting, but because she hated being alone.
A new message popped up.
Codi: Me n North running late k ily bye
Lux felt fleeting nausea in her stomach, but responded back with an enthusiastic ‘k’.
She bit her thumbnail, a habit she did whenever she was deep in thought.
Lux hoped everything was okay with Nick. He had disappeared yesterday and caused quite a panic. Luckily, they had found him in the end, but only Codi and Flynn had seen him. She was left to worry if what they said about his state was true.
Lux arrived at the diner faster than she had thought, but luckily Cleo and Flynn were already there. Flynn lived just down the street, so it was hard for him to be late.
“Hey guys,” Lux smiled and waved.
They waved back, offering their own greetings.
“Is Summer not here yet?” Lux asked.
Cleo answered, “No, she couldn't make it, remember? She has that competition in Manchester, she won't be back until tonight.”
“Oh, right.” Lux had completely forgotten. Again, that nausea in her gut surfaced.
“Oh!! But since it's still early maybe we can FaceTime her. I don't think her game starts until one, if we hurry we may catch her before she goes to warm up.”
“Yeah,” Lux agreed. Flynn gave two thumbs up, but Lux didn't think he had been listening. He was looking up the street.
“They're gonna be late, should we sit down?”
“Yeah, let's get out of the rain.”
Lux followed the two inside. A waitress led them to their favorite booth, they'd been here so many times the staff already knew their habits well.
Lux sat on one side and Cleo and Flynn slid into the opposite one.
Lux rubbed her hands together. They were cold.
Cleo must have picked up on this. Absently, she reached across the table to hold them in her own. Lux was glad for the heat. Her friend's familiarity with her habits almost made her cry.
“So what did you think of the math test, Lux?” Flynn began the idle chatter. “I did way worse than I wanted to..”
The conversation went back and forth about school and clubs and movies until they were interrupted by the arrival of Codi and Nick. Nick was trailing behind Codi, stooped over, like a lost puppy.
Codi greeted them all loudly, “Don't worry guys, your favorite has arrived!” He slid into the seat next to Lux, Nick right after him.
“I wasn't worried.” Flynn mumbled, with playful antagonism.
Codi kicked him under the table.
He slung an arm around Lux's shoulder, pressing up against her. “Did you at least miss me, Luxy?”
“You were late like, ten while minutes, so, no.” She pretended to push him out of her space but secretly she was glad for his warmth. It must have been cold in the diner.
Lux’s head turned to Nick, and she saw Cleo’s eyes on him as well. Nick was jittering his fingers nervously.
When no one said anything, he folded first.
“I’m so sorry for disappearing yesterday I know it was really irresponsible but I promise nothing bad happened.” He had his hands pressed together and head down as if he was begging for their forgiveness.
Lux chuckled, “That's alright North, important thing is you're safe.”
Cleo nodded. “Yeah, and you can always come talk to us if you need to get your thoughts out, none of us mind.”
Codi added, “Don't worry guys, I already gave him the lecture.”
Nick looked grateful. With the apology over, he seemed less nervous and shifted back into his usual self.
Codi asked, “Hey, where's Captain Levi? She running late?”
Captain Levi was Codi’s nickname for Summer. Lux did not know how or why he started calling her that, maybe because she was always captain of every sports team she joined, but Codi likes having weird nicknames for his friends.
“No, she’s at competition in Manchester. Oh! We should try calling her now, actually.” Cleo pulled out her phone and presumably rang Summer.
After a few seconds, she picked up.
“Heyyyy!” Everyone at the table said in unison.
Summer chuckled on the other end. Wherever she was, it sounded noisy.
“Aww, hi everyone.” When she saw Nick, her face brightened, “Nick!! You're okay? Everything safe and sound?”
Nick gave a thumbs up.
“Awesome. Are you at the diner? Don't tell me I'm missing Sunday Brunch.”
“You're not missing it because you're here right now!” said Cleo.
Lux butted in, “Summer, where even are you? It sounds so loud.”
“Oh, I'm in this big meeting hall, there's a lot of families here, that's why. We just had breakfast with one of the pro players and now we're going to attend a seminar or two.”
“When's your match?” asked Codi.
“Not til three pm. They moved it because of the conferences. Ugh, I'm not going to be home until nine, maybe even ten.” She groaned.
Flynn spoke up, “Need someone to drive you?”
“No, I'm good. There's a bus that takes us back, then I'll walk home from the school. Oh– I wish I could keep talking, but they just opened the auditorium doors so I think it's starting. I'll talk to y'all later, byeeee! Muchos besos! Mwah.”
Everyone waved and said bye. Then Cleo hung up. They continued their idle chatter where they left off, only stopping when someone came by to get their order. Everyone ordered the usual.
Lux felt a bit in a daze. The rain outside and grey skies only made everything feel even more dreamy. She loved her friends, so much, she wouldn't know what she'd do without them.
After brunch, they all went their separate ways. Cleo said she had a lot of work to do for school tomorrow and went back home. Flynn and Nick went to Flynn’s apartment to do their homework too, although probably much less efficiently than Cleo was about to. Codi followed Lux home because he was annoying like that.
Whatever, Lux was secretly glad for the company. She didn't want to spend her day alone.
“What's wrong, Lux? You seem a little sad today.”
Lux shuffled her feet. “I'm allowed to be sad sometimes.”
Codi bumped her shoulder. “Not what I meant silly, but I'll drop it if you don't wanna talk about it.”
“What about you? Why don't we ever talk about you? What's on your mind today? Are you doing fine?”
“Is that what you're worried about?”
Lux slumped. “No.” She had hoped to deflect the conversation onto him, but Codi already knew her tricks.
Luckily, Codi did drop it. They walked in silence the rest of the way. Halfway there, Codi grabbed her hand and swung it around. He probably would have proposed skipping home if she hadn't been in a foul mood.
Lux had forgotten her key, but the housekeeper let them in. Lux tried to get her to stay home on Sundays but Sarang said it was the easiest day for her to work.
Once inside, both Lux and Codi as acted systematically. Lux grabbed popcorn while Codi made hot chocolate.
He claimed making hot chocolate was a delicate art, getting the right balance of chocolate and heat was nearly impossible, so Lux sat on the counter and watched him work.
He carefully measured two heaping spoons full of hot chocolate mix, the one that came in packets and tastes like sugar— because that's the one Lux likes— and followed with boiling water in their favorite mugs. They had matching mugs. One said ‘Idiot #1’ and the other said ‘Idiot #2’. Lux had found them online and instantly knew it was a thing she and Codi had to have. They constantly switched who was the first idiot and who was the second, though. It didn't even matter, really, because they usually ended up drinking from the same mug anyways.
When Codi finished counting out the perfect number of marshmallows, they took both mugs and the popcorn with them to Lux’s room.
Her house was an old Victorian, only slightly renovated to maintain its structural integrity or whatever. Her dad grew up in one like it, so maybe it had meaning or something.
Her room was at the very top. It had flower patterned wallpaper in a baby blue color and a large reading nook by the window. The ceiling ended in a peak like a dollhouse. There was a big fancy wardrobe along with a matching antique dresser, vanity, and bedframe. Lilac curtains covered in embroidery hung over her bed. She had put tiny fairy lights in them, too, so felt extra dreamy.
The door of her closet, a crawlspace that was too short to be a part of the room and ran along the whole side of the house, was open, but the clothes she had thrown on the floor getting ready today were put away. Sarang must have already gotten to this room.
Codi made a beeline for her bed. He set up her portable desk and put the hot chocolates on top. Lux set the bowl down, too, and grabbed her laptop.
She browsed through YouTube before she found a good video about ghost hunting. She liked those videos, she thought they was funny.
She snuggled up next to Codi as the intro played. They'd already seen this video, but it was a good one, so they would watch it again. Codi didn't like watching them anyways, because he said her house, being so old, was probably haunted, and therefore watching ghost videos would summon the ghosts or something. But he would make an exception for her, he always did.
They made it two minutes in before he broke the silence.
“You want to know about my day? I didn't sleep because I spent the whole night watching North, just to make sure he was really there, and okay. But he slept soundly. At one point Flynn made me take Benadryl so I would pass out. Got like three hours of sleep.”
Lux let him keep talking. She listened to him, while her eyes remained on the screen in front of her. “I was so goddamn worried yesterday- Fuck-” His voice broke in a sob. Lux took his hand. “I thought he was gone. I thought surely he had run away, delirious or confused, and gotten hurt.”
At that moment, the video recounting a murder in whatever haunted mansion they were exploring this time. When the narrator said, “found dead in a ditch,” Codi replied, “Yeah, what they said.”
He laughed, but it sounded sad.
“That fucker was just in the woods. The woods! Can you believe it? For hours, he just walked. Phone was dead, no one was around, just himself and his thoughts— ugh, why didn't he just talk to us. I should've been there— I should've called him Friday night and made sure he took his meds-”
“You can't dwell on the past-” Lux interrupted- “Your practice ended late Friday night, and you were worried about making it on to the regional team this winter, those were important too.”
And it's not just you, we all could have been there for him. I was doing fuck all Friday, I could have just as easily called him same as the rest of us. But we didn't.”
“Is that what made you upset?”
“No,” Lux ate a handful of popcorn. “I know I can only be there for him if he asks for help first, so it's partly on North too for not reaching out. Not that he really could, but-” she sighed, “-we all need so much from each other- Oh, did you see that? I think I saw a shadow on the screen. Can't believe I haven't noticed that before. Hold on, I'm gonna replay it.”
She clicked some buttons on the laptop and was thrilled when her observation was right. Codi sat there quietly, perhaps contemplating.
Then, suddenly, he chuckled. “Yeah, you're right. North can maybe take care of himself. You know what he was doing when we got there?”
“Hmm? What?”
“He was at some small pizza joint talking to this guy that works there, they were the only people in the restaurant. They must have hit it off because the guy asked North for his discord— he's so much older too. Must already be in college.”
“Ooh, North’s getting bitches.”
Codi chuckled again, “Yeah.” His cheer dropped. “I'm not mad at that.”
“You seem a little mad.”
He scowled. “No I'm not, North can talk to anyone he wants, even if it's hotter older men. I don't care.”
“Sounds like you do care a little, honey.”
“Not at all, dear.” Codi emphasized the pet name and Lux rolled her eyes. ‘Honey’ had just slipped out, they were so used to calling each other pet names ironically it didn't even register in her brain.
After some silence, Codi asked, “Is North hot?”
“I didn't get him a modeling gig for nothing. The industry eats up looks like that.”
“No, but is he attractive? Does he look older? It's probably the height, right?”
“Shouldn't you be asking yourself that?”
“Well of course I think he's pretty. He's also pretty stupid sometimes. And dense.”
“Not as much as you.”
“I'm hurt,” Codi pretended to be wounded, placing a hand over his heart and dramatically fainting into Lux’s lap.
“Why do you beautiful women vex me so?”
Lux pushed him off, “You're blocking the screen. I like this part.”
Codi huffed and sat up. He buried his head in the crook of Lux’s neck. “I don't like this, it's scary.” He mumbled.
“Grow a pair,” Lux huffed. Still, she turned it off and found the documentary they had started a few nights ago. Codi relaxed. Maybe he had been scared.
“You're gonna tell me why you're upset?” He mumbled into her neck.
Lux twitched. “It's always the same. I love my friends and I can never seem to get enough of them. It's pretty selfish. But it makes my stomach toss and turn into knots. I don't know why, I'm just on edge.”
“Mmm..” He patted her head. The consoltation felt stupid and somehow his idiocy made her feel better.
“Hey! Don't fall asleep, I'm not restarting the video if you miss it.”
He huffed, “Three hours of sleep, remember?” He stretched out across her pillows and closed his eyes. “Watch it without me, I don't mind.”
“Well then I'm putting back on the ghost video.”
Absently, she reached out for his hand, and he took it.
The rain outside continued to drizzle, while the video droned on. She took a sip of hot chocolate and finished the popcorn while listening to Codi's breathing. Slowly, it evened out. Although he'd fallen asleep, she didn't feel alone.
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fatcowboys · 1 year ago
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misgendered! at the dnd game
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deepfriedseagullfeet · 1 month ago
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idk how many of you guys are on twitter but if you prefer twitter over tumblr/want to see just my art follow me @/seagullsausage ill be crossposting over there ig
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zenathered · 5 months ago
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I just found out the most hilariously amazing thing.
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wolfythewitch · 6 months ago
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not entirely happy with it haha, didn't have enough time to polish the concept but wahoo jarchivist moment
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blueskittlesart · 8 months ago
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sharing mana
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extravapalooza · 4 months ago
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pages from 'a world of plenty', a cyanotyped and handbound artist book using cyborgs to explore transness, gender, nature, technology + their intersections (and my last uni project ever !!!) ... gonna be posting more of the pages soon ^_^
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heyhanibee · 9 months ago
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he aangy >:(
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butcharyastark · 1 year ago
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oh god i hope silver is right abt flint not moving against him
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alicenpai · 1 month ago
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finally remembered to put these side by side!! my ptutu illusts so far 🩰 2024 & 2022 🦢 prints
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zephyrchama · 1 month ago
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Tail Bone (Obey Me! brothers and MC)
"My tail bone hurts," you complained. You never expected demons to be well-mannered beings, able to behave themselves in a silent classroom for hours on end. Nor that sitting for so long could be so painful. You let out an exasperated sigh and began to tenderly massage your lower back as soon as the lecture on nocturnal beasts was over.
"Your what?" Leviathan had been booting up a mobile game behind you, eager to claim his daily bonus. While the loading screen played out, he looked up at you in confusion.
Standing to stretch, you nodded towards the hand swirling around your waistband. "Right here, my tail bone. I'm gonna ask Diavolo if he can get softer chairs for the classrooms. You're not in any pain?"
In front of you, Beelzebub nodded. "My stomach hurts. I'm so hungry, I can hardly think straight." He began rooting around in his bag for an emergency candy bar or five.
Mammon interjected from the side, stating "you don't have a tail," with a look of bewilderment. He was staring intensely at your rear and questioning everything he's ever known about you.
"We'd know if you did," Satan added.
"It's not an actual tail. Just... the name of the bone." Your attempt at an explanation wasn't very informative, but you didn't know how else to describe it. Your brain was fried from a long, boring lecture. You were more focused on getting the circulation in your legs working again than on explaning proper human anatomy.
Asmodeus had crept over, clearly noticed by everyone except you, and put his hands over the afflicted area. "Right about here?" he asked, voice coated in faux innocence.
You jumped forward a step in surprise, arching your back away from the sudden touch. Mammon and Leviathan, mobile game now forgotten, pounced on their younger brother. They pulled him away by the shoulders and forced his arms behind his back.
"Ahaha! Did I guess right?"
"That is a serious violation of PDA!" Leviathan half-shouted.
"Yeah, only I'm allowed to touch 'em like that! You all know I'm s'posed to be in charge of the human." Mammon thrust himself in front of Asmodeus, who was busy laughing in Leviathan's face. He opened and closed his hands in a disturbing manner, like a pervert. "Here, let me see this tail for myself."
"I don't think it's an actual tail," Satan surmised at the same time you exclaimed, "I don't have a tail!"
"Settle down," Lucifer cautioned. He approached from the front of the class with an armful of teaching materials, having been the one to lecture everybody all day. In a way, it was his fault you were in pain.
"Would somebody care to explain why you're all being so rowdy?"
"They hurt their new tail," Belphegor tried to explain in a low, drowsy voice. Having been half asleep, he only caught half of the conversation and let his imagination fill in the rest. He tried to lift his head, but the lecture had been too powerful. He rambled, "It's cool. I'm glad you have a tail now," and went right back to snoozing.
Lucifer wasn't entirely convinced of this explanation. He raised an eyebrow at you, and you recapped, "sitting for so long was kind of painful. I hurt my tail bone."
Beelzebub, with a smidge of chocolate on the corner of his face, turned around to ask the question surfacing on everyone's mind. "Do you have wing bones too? Like we do."
Though not in demon form, you could perfectly picture Beelzebub buzzing his wings while he asked. The answer was a simple "no." Followed by a moment of thinking and a hastily added, "I don't think so."
Mammon tisked. "That's unfair, don't ya think? You oughta have wing bones to match us."
Asmodeus "mhmm"-ed in agreement while Lucifer rolled his eyes.
"It's unfair that I don't have wing bones...?" You struggled to follow his logic.
"It's incredibly fair," Leviathan piped up. "Everyone knows tails are better."
"You wanna say that again to my face?" Mammon spat.
"More of you have wings, so it's more balanced to have another tail-user in the house." Satan believed this was a perfectly rational argument despite you not actually having a tail.
"But imagine how cute they'd look with little flapping wings!" Asmodeus cooed, flapping his hands to match.
"A little tail is even cuter! It can be hidden, like an Easter egg," Leviathan asserted.
The classroom became noisy once again with their bickering. Lucifer motioned for you to step aside, and you did your best to duck out from the growing argument with your head kept low. Your legs still felt stiff. Walking around the desk without bumping anything was a newfound challenge.
So Lucifer reached out a gentlemanly hand to guide you. "I need you to come with me to the Student Council Room." Though stated like a command, it sounded more like a request.
"Am I needed for a meeting?" you asked, reluctant to spend more time at school. The big soft couch at home was calling you.
He started ushering you towards the door and checked to ensure his brothers did not follow. "No. I'd like to educate myself on this tail bone you have, and perhaps even take a look at it."
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago
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...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.
(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception
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hop-a-lot · 4 months ago
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Healer debate
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