#but…….
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@imnotalichiswear 😦⁉️
☹️☹️☹️
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i’m really hoping to finish my sugusho fic by this time next week so i can do final edits on my meet cute sugu fic… wanna get something posted plant my roots and all that…
#the horrors (writing)#when nobody reads it#ik ik it’s not abt engagement#but…….#lololololololololol
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Reaaalllllyy tempted to share a Karim meta that everyone is absolutely going to hate….
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ughhhh fuck this i thought it was just one i could do and leave the other but i’m not writing two of these things
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think i hurt my back/neck doing shoulder stands at pole last night :/ i truly do not want a new injury right now
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Maybe uh.,,,. Uh.,,, having a member of your spy ring be your bestie who you hang out with in camp all the time isn’t a good idea……… but I cannot say
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the devil has been telling me to get a phd….,,
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I really love family fluff headcanons in my ships, I want my ships to get married and have kids, but when I think about ferdibert I consistently imagine Ferdinand just being like “kids???? with who???? With Hubert?!?” and Hubert being like “no thanks I’ve heard it’s taboo to poison those things” while Edelgard swings a battle axe around nearby
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thinking….. about buying final fantasy x since it’s on sale…. 🤔🤔
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me: im not splitting, no way
sprig: AAAAAAA
headache: Engaged
me: ……… nah still not splitting
#this is kinda incoherent#but ahhhhsngnsjmsjdks noooooo#him here :/#but nah#but…….#why do i want to eat bugs ://///#ough#amalgum posts
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……… apparently there was an active shooter in the town I went to school as a child, near the middle school I think. As far as I have heard the situation has been resolved……..
I don’t even know what to say anymore…
#I don’t live near there anymore… haven’t in years#but…….#just….. I’m really tired#mass shooting tw#the campuses locked down but now they’re back to resuming classes as if nothing fucking happened…….#I’m just so tired….
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wrote something last night full of worms and
maggots and i didn’t like the flavor of the flesh of the fruit / it all smelled like
rain and something sad so i hated it and i tried to burn it but it was
too damp to catch / so i tucked it away /
but look; at the end it was
tender and it cycled back around to you, because now in this
moment everything i do cycles back around to you
the best bits were about my Parent’s Love Story—
[here you are summed up best—]
my whole life i wanted what they had;
in my kitchen
[it’s always my kitchen]
my father says to me with a tangible ache, “when i walked into that room [karaoke event, work thing], i knew your mother
was the woman i wanted to marry”
she shies away—
he chases her down / my godparents say to her, “hey,
hey?
why don’t you just try being with a nice guy for once?”
she scrunches her face up, he slowly
moves his clothes into her drawers /
then my father says, looking at my mother’s broken glass and scars [blood, much more real than mine],
“i do not care if you push me away,
i will wait for you until
you are ready for
me”
with the gentleness of a dog, he waits—gives her space
she falls into something new—blood dried and glass repaired and
they’re still together now, in that
house on the pond and with the kids he so wanted and two
little dogs he did not.
my whole life i saw that and wanted that and in
my hubris i thought i would be my father but
it’s you
he’s you—
three years i made you wait and
it’s you
and your patience makes me ache
and your patience scares the fuck out of me.
because to be my father is easy but to be
loved by my father is a different beast and i have
never looked this one in the eyes [my eyes—this is just a mirror, isn’t it?] before
[you said it yourself: we live the same lives.]
so the mantra becomes,
[while i’m brushing my teeth while i’m high in bed while i’m walking to class while i’m reading and annotating leaving notes for you,]
thank you for being patient while i learn this again or on
nights when for some fucking reason i bleed; thank you for
wrapping the wound,
thanks for cracking a rib and thanks for being golden and thanks for standing at the woods with a lamp in hand and saying “hey,
hey?
come with me. follow me. i’ll wait. i’m waiting.”
i’m waiting. clock eats the days.
i’m waiting too
#im OKAY i promise i just got to feeling sad cus im hormonal#but…….#had a bad night and wrote shit and it ended up coming back around to you and then I felt okay:)#this is the next morning tho lol don’t worry I’m alright#but this is one I’ve been trying to write for a hot minute#poetry#writing#creative writing#poem#writings#creative writer#poems#poet#creative writings#the herb garden#I saved what I wrote tho maybe I’ll let you read it one day lol
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Wot if he degrades her during sex since he hates women and all I ain’t gonna make it
Bestie why would you fucking put this thought in my head HELLO
#I know Olivia said rhat their version is a drastic departure from the old script that was floating around…….#but…….
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oh god i sent my mom a tiktok i made and now i’m paranoid that she’s gonna download the app, make an account, follow me, and find my gay tiktoks………….
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