#but after like the first hour I started to lose inspiration and it got h a r d to be sarcastic for once in my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

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THE DEAL

a/n: i literally wrote it in less than a day because i was inspired by a movie... of god, i have issues, but ANYWAYS! this one is a classic friends with benefits to lovers story with so much angst and a grandiose love confession at the end so buckle up, you are in for a treat!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE give feedback if you enjoyed it!!

pairing: Harry X Reader

warnings: some, drinking, sexual content, a hell lot of it, angst and messy emotions, it’s a lot!!

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

If your life was some romantic comedy his would be the moment where the camera would zoom on you, your eyes blankly glued to the ceiling, makeup from last night smudged under them as a muscular, inked arm gets thrown across your chest, a snoozing man beside you as you have the internal little monologue.

“You’re wondering how I got into this situation, right? Completely naked with one of my best friends after a night spent with heavy drinking and ending up fucking in his apartment until we both fell asleep.”

Yeah, this is probably what the voiceover would say as the camera would slowly get farther from you, Harry’s sleeping figure coming into the frame while you’re still lying like a damn statue. This was not supposed to happen. Not that it was bad, because oh God! Harry really is as good as his ex-girlfriends gushed to you when you met them on night outs. You could never blame the women for falling for him, he has the charm, the personality, the humor and definitely the looks. If you weren’t you, you’d be one of those girls who would do anything to get his attention just for a split second. But you’re not.

Growing up with a single mother that was repeatedly fucked over by several men, you were taught to be the kind of independent woman who needs no man. Who only uses them for whatever reason and throws them away before they could even realize what’s happening. Feelings could never be involved in the equations, those are just not for you.

For a while you thought you weren’t even capable of feeling anything at all. But the way you cried when your hamster you got for your sixteenth birthday died changed your mind and you realized that you are just saving yourself the time of allowing people to make you develop feelings for them and then give them the chance to break your heart. You’ve seen that happen to your mother enough times to know that you don’t want to go through that. It’s not worth it and why would you risk it all when you could easily get what you need and move on to the next one?

Your friends always joked how you’re gonna be the single aunt to their children later who would take them to clubs and honestly? You’re just fine with that. Because you always thought that while your married friends will be busy with keeping their marriage together with whatever pathetic man they chose to marry, you’ll be living your best life without a worry on the world. That sounds pretty good for you.

There’s no need to make it prettier than what it is, you’ve had a lot of hookups the past years but you always tried to keep yourself in check, have some kind of rules to follow so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. One of those were that under no circumstances would you ever sleep with a friend. No matter how badly you want to, no matter if they are begging, it can never happen.

But you broke that rule.

Turning your head to the side you look at Harry’s sleeping face squished into the pillow and you almost wince, because you know that when he wakes up, this gonna hurt like a bitch. He’s gonna freak out, or what’s worse, he’ll want to take it further, take you out on a date… be in a relationship with you! And you’ll have to break his heart because none of those will ever happen.

You and Harry went to high school together and he is one of the very few people you stayed in touch after graduation. Though you grew a little apart when you went to different universities, later on you both somehow ended up in New York and while you’re working as a graphic designer at a magazine, Harry is making good money from writing music for other artists. He’s been one of your closest friends these past years and while you’ve always found him attractive, you should have never let this happen, because it will mess everything up and you didn’t want to lose such a good friend.

Harry stirs in his sleep next to you, his hand squeezing your side before his eyes blink open, green irises finding your wide eyes. He stops for a moment, looking around, taking in his surroundings before his eyes fall closed again.

“Wow, must have been one wild night?” he mumbles into the pillow before a raspy chuckle falls from his lips.

Last night, the two of you and a couple of your mutual friends celebrated that Harry has gotten his biggest deal so far, having to write an entire album for an up-and-coming artist, so you all got pretty wasted, especially you and him. It’s a little blurry how the two of you ended up like this, but you do remember wildly making out hidden somewhere behind the bar before he asked if you wanted to come to his place. You stupid little thing, should have said no…

Groaning, Harry rolls to his back, his arm falling from you as he lies sprawled out next to you.

“The tequila shots. Shouldn’t have had them,” you rasp out, a smirk tugging on his lips at your words. “So, um… we both can agree this was a one time thing, right?”

Harry peeks at you, pushing himself up a bit so his head rests against the headboard. The sheets slide down a bit lower on his body, revealing his toned chest and his several tattoos. Memories of you kissing them eagerly last night flash into your mind and you can only hope you’re not blushing like a school girl.

“What if I don’t agree?” Harry cocks an eyebrow and you almost groan. You knew this was going to happen!

“Harry, I’m not going out with you. You know me, I don’t do that. It’s nice that you think that it could work between us, but I don’t do relationships and I’m not changing my rules, not even for you.”

Harry starts laughing, as if you just said the best joke of the century, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. You give him a puzzled look as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest.

“Who talked about dating, Y/N?” he then asks. “You said last night was a one time thing. We fucked last night. What if that wasn’t the only time we did that?”

You start to put the pieces together, though you’d definitely be sharper if you already had your first coffee of the day.

“Are you trying to start a… friends with benefits thing with me?”

“I mean, you could call it whatever you want. I personally really enjoyed last night and judging from the way you were screaming my name, you did too.” Now you’re for sure blushing. “Why not do it again?”

“This is not a movie, H. I don’t think it’s manageable without ruining our friendship.”

“Have you ever tried something like this?” You shake your head no. “Then how could you know?”

“Have you tried it?”

“Never,” he chuckles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. We are both cool, smart people. I think we can give it a try and whenever someone is feeling like they had enough, we’re just gonna stop.”

“What if you catch feelings?” you ask, raising eyebrows at him.

“Oh, but what if you fall for me?” he throws the question back with a cocky smirk and you smack his naked chest.

“You know I never do that!”

“I don’t think you can just decide that, but alright,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in defense. “I promise you I won’t catch feelings for you, Y/N. I swear on my…”

“Your mom’s and sister’s life!” you point at him. It’s clear that he thinks it’s silly, but you just keep staring at him until he gives in.

“I swear on my mum’s and my sister’s life that I will not catch feelings for you, Y/N.”

“Alright. And we can end it anytime?”

“Whenever you’ve had enough of me,” he smirks back, so pleased with himself that it’s clear he doesn’t think that could ever happen.

“If you keep that cocky look on your face it’s gonna be a very short deal, Styles,” you warn him, but he just laughs before he quickly pulls you back down to bed, getting on top of you, his hips sinking between your legs and you gasp when you feel that he is already semi-hard.

“Why don’t we get a head start on it then?” he offers, his lips crashing against yours before they travel down your body and soon enough he gives you something that’s a thousand times better than a coffee in the morning.

At first you’re clearly hesitant about it. Not sure if it was a good idea or you just ruined everything between you and Harry, but soon enough you realize that it wasn’t as bad of a decision as you thought it to be.

Harry is the one to call you for the first time, two days after the night you drunkenly hooked up. You’re just leaving the office when he hits you up, asking if you have plans for the night or you’re free to go over to his place. An hour later you find yourself pressed up against the wall of his apartment’s hallway, both of you eager to get each other out of your clothes. Now that it all happens without either of you being drunk, you actually have the chance to think about how good it is with him. He is just the perfect mixture of dominant and soft, knows when to be the boss and when he has to slow down a bit.

He makes you cum three times. Three mind-blowing times, and you also give him two orgasms. You try to make it equal and make it three, but he respectfully says no.

“If you touched my dick again I think I would start crying,” he chuckles jokingly, so you don’t even think about pushing it.

Instead, the two of you order Chinese, have dinner together, talking like you always used to before the deal and then you go home. There’s no awkwardness, no weird situations, not even when you leave. Harry leans closer and for a moment you think he is gonna be corny and kiss you goodbye, but then you feel him smack your ass before pushing you out the door, just like he always did before, joking about how he is gonna charge you rent if you stay any longer.

Nothing has changed, only that you now spend a good chunk of your time together naked, moaning each other’s name before you get back to your usual.

So after that you don’t shy away from reaching out to Harry as well. It becomes a regular thing, the two of you meeting up about two of three times a week. You fuck, hang out a bit and go your separate ways. Slowly, you start to forget about times when you stayed dressed up for more than ten minutes after meeting Harry.

You keep switching between your and his place, but sometimes meet somewhere in the middle. You’ve had sex in a restaurant bathroom, in his car in a parking garage and even in his cousin’s place in Brooklyn. That was a bit odd but still quite pleasing.

Tonight is going to be the first time you’re gonna be out with all your friends and Harry since the deal was made. No one knows about it and you intend to keep it that way.

Once you’re done at work you head home, texting Leticia, another friend from high school to meet you at your place to get ready together. She was Harry’s friend at first, what’s better, she openly hated you at first for some reason.

“You just had a punchable face at fifteen, you can’t blame me,” she used to tell you. It was actually Harry who made the two of you friends and you’ve been close ever since.

You get to your apartment almost at the same time. Leticia starts rambling about her asshole of a boss at the law firm where she works at as you open a bottle of wine to start the evening while you roam through your wardrobe for an outfit.

“Is Leo coming? I owe him a few bucks from last time,” Leticia wonders, digging into your dresser for a pair of tights she can borrow to pair with her leather skirt.

“I think he is, but he is going to be late. He is coming from Staten Island from his dad’s,” you muse, checking yourself out in the red dress you just tried on, not quite pleased with the look, so you quickly work down the zipper and look for something else.

“Um, whose is this?”

Turning around you see that Leticia is holding up a shirt Harry left at yours a few days ago. She is clearly confused about the men’s clothing between your stuff, because you are not one to steal them from the men you sleep with since you don’t really want anything from them to remind you of them.

“Oh, um, that’s… That’s Harry’s. He left it here a few days ago,” you shrug, not making a big deal out of it, but Leticia is nosier than that.

“And why is Harry leaving his clothes around your place?”

“Is that a crime?” you snort, trying to play it cool.

“No, but in what kind of situation did this shirt come off of Harry and end up in your dresser?”

You can’t think of a good answer that would stop her from interrogating you, and the way you’ve just gotten silent is telling her more than words could. She drops the shirt, eyes widening at you and it’s clear that she put two and two together.

“Oh my God! You’re sleeping with Harry!”

“No! I’m… I just—We…”

“You two are totally fucking! What the fuck!” she gasps in complete shock as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Let me explain it, alright? W-We hooked up on the night when we went out to celebrate his big album deal.”

“When I couldn’t go, right?”

“Yeah. So we were both very drunk and it just happened. And I really thought it would ruin everything but we somehow ended up making a deal.”

“Jesus, you guys are acting out the Friends With Benefits movie? Who are you, Mila fucking Kunis?”

“It’s not like that!” you defend yourself quickly, but then you realize that it’s just like that so far. “Well, it kind of is, but the ending won’t be like that.”

“Do you really think you can just do it with absolutely no strings?” Leticia sighs, her hands coming to her hips as she stares back at you.

“It’s been going great, so I really think it’s doable. And if any of us decides they had enough, we’ll just call it quits.”

“Yeah, because it’s that easy,” she rolls her eyes. “One of you will catch feelings and someone is gonna end up crying, Y/N.”

“No, that’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head stubbornly. “He promised it won’t happen.”

“Feelings don’t give a shit about promises! I hope you really know what you’re doing, because I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you,” she grumbles before throwing Harry’s shirt back into the drawer, grabbing the tights she’s been looking for.

Leticia doesn’t hold a grudge for the news she just found out, but she surely has gotten you thinking. Is it really gonna end bad? Why can’t there be a scenario where it goes perfectly fine and no one gets hurt? Harry promised it’s gonna be alright and he has been proven right so far, so why are you having second guesses now?

Arriving at the bar the majority of your friend group is already there, including Harry. You sit across him in the small booth, just exchanging a quick smile before the first round arrives and the evening starts. You allow yourself to take a better look at him while he listens to Mitch’s story and you can’t say that you don’t find him hot. He is wearing a vintage, floral printed shirt, the first few buttons left undone, so you have a nice view of his chest and his necklace you’ve felt under your lips so many times before when you were kissing down his body. He keeps twisting and playing with his several rings and it makes you stare at his hands for a tad bit longer than you intended to. God, he looks so damn good, you really just want to fuck him here and now.

You keep changing who goes up to the bar to order and the third round is yours, so sliding out of the booth you go to the bar and wait for your turn. A young, handsome guy is making the drinks and you clearly catch his eyes.

“And what can I get for you, beautiful?” he smirks at you when it’s finally your turn.

“Two vodka sodas, a martini and three vodka cranberries,” you smile back at him with a hint of flirting in your tone.

It’s kind of second nature to you, a few charming smiles and winks have gotten a lot of free things for you in your life and you never miss a chance to use your advances.

“All that for one pretty girl?” he teases you.

“I would be all over the floor if I drank all of it,” you chuckle, pulling your card out of your wallet, tapping it on the terminal as he finishes up the drinks, kindly putting them on a tray so you can easily bring them over to the booth.

“Don’t worry, I would surely pick you up then,” he winks at you, placing the last drink to the tray before you thank him and head back.

As you take your previous seat you notice that Harry is watching you intently.

“What?” you mouth him over the conversation at the table.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, turning his gaze away, grabbing his drink and focusing back on everyone else.

You go up to the bar two more times, once to ask for some chips and once for some napkins after a drink has gotten spilt onto the table. Every time you exchange a few words with the bartender and you have to admit, he has a great sense of humor paired with his looks.

Sometime later in the evening you decide to switch to water, so you go up to the bar a fourth time, the bartender coming to you right away at this point. As you wait for him to grab you your drink you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning to the side you see Harry standing next to you.

“Hey, want to come to my place after this?” he asks, leaning closer to your ear. His hot breath hits your exposed skin on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine, especially with his hand still on the small of your back.

“You want a rerun of your first time?” you smirk back at him, referring to the drinks you both have had, though it’s definitely not as wild as that night was.

“No, but this dress is making it hard not to want to rip it off,” he bluntly tells you as you glance down at yourself. At last you decided to wear a black bodycon dress that surely shows every dip and curve of your body and apparently Harry has been enjoying the show.

The bartender arrives with your water, his eyes falling on Harry and you see that he is a little taken aback by his presence.

“Hey man, can you get me another one as well? I’ll pay for both,” Harry nods at him and there’s something foreign in his tone that you can’t really put your finger on. The bartender just nods back and goes to grab another water.

“What if I wasn’t in the mood?” you tease him, continuing the discussion where you left it a moment ago.

“Oh, please!” he chuckles smugly. “I saw you eyeing me from across the table, Y/N. I know you are definitely in the mood.”

He is right. So damn right. You’ve been crossing your legs under the table for a while now, feeling your arousal growing every time you saw him run his tongue over his lips or whenever his finger played with the lip of his glass, imagining him doing the same with your body.

Biting into your bottom lip you need to take a deep breath, but when Harry sees your teeth digging into your lip, he loses his patience.

“Or we can just do it now,” he growls lowly, grabbing your hand before he starts pulling you towards the restrooms. You don’t even have the chance to protest, not that you want to.

He is quick to pull you into an empty restroom, locking the door behind the two of you before his lips attack yours, pushing you against the door with vigor and hunger. His hands are already bunching your dress up around your waist and you moan his name when your hips meet and you feel his hard length through his jeans.

“We have to be quick, so no one notices we disappeared,” he pants as he helps you up to the counter, your back hitting the cold mirror behind you.

“Then shut up and just fuck me,” you challenge him and it makes him absolutely feral.

You don’t have time to enjoy it the way you usually do in bed, but the excitement of the situation alone has gotten you so wet that you’re already dripping when he pushes your panties to the side with one hand while his other works on his own pants.

“Fuck, already so wet for me, huh?” he breathes out, his lips brushing against yours before they kiss you fully.

“Just like how you’re rock hard for me,” you grin against his lips, a hand wandering down to his cock as you pull it out of his boxers, stroking it a few times before he pulls a condom out of his back pocket and wraps himself up. “Were you counting on this quickie, Styles?” you ask when you realize that he just had a condom ready on him.

“I knew for sure I’m gonna fuck you tonight, but wasn’t sure how long I’m gonna last,” he grins, capturing your lips again before he pushes himself inside you with no warning, making you both gasp.

“Fuck! Harry!” you moan as he starts moving rapidly, definitely not taking his time like he usually does. He is pounding into you without mercy, panting against your lips as his ring clad fingers are digging into the flesh of your thighs.

“You like that? Like it when I fuck you somewhere public?” he growls, making your legs curl around his hips.

Your hands move up his chest and neck, fingers tangling into his curls and you give them a tug, earning an animalistic grunt from him as he starts going even harder and faster. You’re rapidly getting closer to your orgasm.

“You close?” he pants and you nod. “Come on, cum all over my cock, Y/N.”

A few more thrusts and your walls tighten around his dick, squeezing him as you gasp, riding your high, your head falling backwards, meeting with the mirror behind you. Harry follows you a few pushes later, moaning your name repeatedly before his movements come to a halt and you both take a moment to catch your breath.

When he pulls out you both just quietly clean yourselves up, fixing your clothes and hair so you don’t entirely scream sex with your appearances.

“My offer to come to mine after still stands,” he smirks, running a hand through his hair before you head out.

“Tempting, but I have some work to do in the morning, so no,” you turn him down, stepping out to the dark hallway that leads back to the bar. Harry grabs your hand and pulls you back, his lips smashing against yours, surprising you with his move. He kisses you deeply, sucking on your bottom lip hard before he pulls back.

“What was that for?” you ask out of breath.

“If you’re not coming over, I needed something to have a good night,” he shrugs with a smug smirk before you return to the bar.

You catch the bartender’s look as you finally get your waters and Harry pays for them. You catch the two men eyeing each other for a moment before you and Harry return to the table and you forget about the whole thing.

A Sunday afternoon you’re lounging at Harry’s. You jumped at each other’s bones when you arrived, but now you’re chilling on his couch, watching a series you both wanted to start so you decided to give it a go together. Your leg is lying across Harry’s lap, his hands absentmindedly kneading your thighs. It feels nice, like a massage, especially after how sore he made you earlier, stretching you out more than he usually does with a new pose you tried out.

Your phone chimes next to you and tearing your gaze away from the TV you check to see who just sent you a text. It was one of your coworkers, Anthony, he sent you a raging text about how he still has no idea what to wear to the company party that’s gonna be next Saturday and you realize that you totally forgot about it.

“Shit!” you curse under your breath.

“What?” Harry asks, pausing the show.

“I have this stupid work party next weekend and I totally forgot about it,” you growl, checking your calendar quickly if you can squeeze in a quick shopping spree before Saturday or you’ll have to find something in your closet.

“Aren’t those things nice with a lot of free food and drinks?” Harry wonders.

“Yeah, but I don’t like it, because all my colleagues bring their partners and I’m usually the only single one and they keep trying to set me up with someone,” you roll your eyes even at the thought of having to suffer through another one of those awkward conversations about your love life. Like it’s any of their concern!

“I can go with you if that helps,” he offers and you give him a look over your phone. “What? I’m sure if you brought someone they wouldn’t bug you.”

“But we are not together,” you remind him narrowing your eyes at him.

“They don’t have to know that. It’s a win-win, Y/N. Your colleagues would stop nagging you and I can eat and drink for free,” he smirks, clearly pleased with his little plan.

“I mean… you’re not wrong,” you sigh.

“See? Then it’s settled,” he pats your legs, smirking widely at you, but you’re still not entirely convinced. “Come on, Y/N. It’s gonna be fun!”

“This is so cliché, Harry!” you groan, your head falling back against the arm of the couch. “Pretending to be a couple? Straight out of a damn movie.”

Harry lifts your legs up so he can get out from under them, placing them back to the cushion before he climbs over to you, half of his body pressing onto yours as he squints his eyes at you.

“We can fuck in the bathroom, if you want,” he bluntly offers and you just start laughing at his dirty mind and technique of convincing you. “What? There’s literally no better offer out there. Free food, free drinks and free sex. Really good sex, if I may add,” he points out and you smack his chest lightly.

“Didn’t know you were thinking about charging me for the sex,” you joke.

“Might as well do, baby. Especially if it’s the best you can get,” he smugly huffs and you’d retort something funny, but you get caught up on the name.

“Baby? Since when are you calling me baby?”

“Since we are gonna be a couple next week. Gotta rehearse, baby,” he repeats the nickname and a foreign feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach. Why is this one little word making you feel things you haven’t before? “And you know what else we can rehearse?” he continues, oblivious to your inner dialogue.

You don’t get to answer upon feeling his hand slide between your legs, fingers gently pressing onto your clothed clit and though you can’t stop a moan from slipping through your lips, you still grab his wrist and pull him away.

“My legs are too sore, I wouldn’t enjoy another round of you pounding into me,” you tell him and you can see the proud glimmer in his eyes that he was the one who got you into this state, though he luckily doesn’t comment on it.

“It doesn’t have to be pounding, then,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses you, taking his time as his hand frees itself from your grip and slides under your shorts and panties, fingers meeting your already throbbing bud.

He repositions himself so one of his thighs are between your legs, his lips never leaving yours as his fingers start drawing circles on your clit, sending pleasure down your body in waves.

“Fuck,” you breathe out against his lips when two of his fingers tease your entrance before pushing all the way inside, curling them between your clenching, wet walls.

“No, we are not fucking right now,” he smirks, never missing a chance to joke around and you want to retort to his comment, but words get caught in your throat when his thumb starts playing with your clit, fingers sliding in and out of you in a steady rhythm.

“So, are we on for Saturday? It’s gonna be fun, hm?”

The little shit is using his fingers to convince you and he has the audacity to ask you questions when you are about to see stars. Sometimes you really do hate how big of a smug fucker Harry is, but it’s hard to feel hatred for him when he is about to make you cum again.

“I-I don’t… Harry!” you gasp when he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, right when you were so close. “I was about to fucking cum!” you growl, raging eyes meeting his green irises.

“I know,” he chuckles. “Say that you’re in and I’ll make you cum.”

“You motherfu—“

You don’t get to finish, his lips smashing against yours as his fingers return, moving faster than before, quickly pushing you towards the edge again.

“Say it. Say it, Y/N,” he mumbles against your lips as your chest is heaving and you start buckling your hips to meet his movements.

“Fuck… Okay! I’m in, just please make me cum!” you whine, hands gripping his shoulders like your life depends on it.

“Good girl,” he smirks and finishes you off without any more teasing.

You cry out his name, fingers digging into his muscles as you push your thighs together, trapping his hand between them while he keeps fingering you oh so perfectly. He makes sure you ride out the last waves of your orgasm before he pulls his fingers out and without batting an eye, he just licks them and fixes your panties and shorts before returning to his previous position with your legs across his lap, starting the show like nothing really happened.

Saturday morning you’re able to quickly get your nails done and Leticia comes with you, the two of you having brunch together afterwards. You go to a new place near the nail salon and as the waiter arrives with your orders, you notice that he slides a napkin onto the table with a small smile.

Grabbing it you see a phone number scribbled onto it. Normally, you send back a smile and tug the napkin into your purse, but this time you just leave it on the table and decide to ignore it.

“What the hell is up with you?” Leticia asks and glancing up at her you see her gesturing towards the napkin. “You don’t seem too thrilled about the approach which is very unlike you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just… not interested,” you shrug, reaching for your fork.

“Not interested? The dude looks like the lovechild of Chris Hemsworth and Johnny Depp. He is exactly your type, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just not seeking another hookup right now, that’s it.”

“Oh my God!” Leticia gasps and you give her a puzzled look.

“What?”

“You don’t want other men because of Harry!”

“What? That’s crazy,” you laugh, because she has clearly left her mind at the salon for even thinking that.

“Have you hooked up with anyone else than Harry since you’ve made your little deal?”

“I, uhh… Flirted with the bartender when we were out together.”

“Flirting doesn’t count, not even in relationships.”

“I don’t think many would agree with that, Tish,” you huff.

“Okay, but did you have any interest in fucking someone else?”

“I don’t get it why you are making a big deal out of it. Why would I seek anyone else if I’m perfectly pleased by him?”

“Honey, that’s like… how relationships work.”

“That’s not true,” you shake your head, though what would you know about relationships? Your first and only one was when you were seventeen and it lasted twenty-one pathetic days.

“Are you fucking with anyone else?” She asks, eyebrows raised at you as you shake your head no. “Are you fucking him?”

“Obviously,” you scoff.

“Do you spend time together that doesn’t include sex?”

You are almost quick to say no, but then you realize that would be a big ass lie. Every time he comes over to your place or you’re at his, it’s never just the sex. That’s always primary, but not everything you do. All the dinners, the movies and shows you’ve watched together, when you sit on your tiny balcony with a bottle of wine, talking and laughing like you always did before the deal, something always happens after the sex.

Your silence once again answers Leticia’s question. Reaching over the table she takes your hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Girl, you are totally dating Harry.”

Leticia once again manages to put a flea in your ear about this whole Harry thing. You wish she didn’t say a thing, because now you can’t think of anything else than the fact that you really are doing all the things with Harry that people who are dating do.

You get so riled up that you almost cancel on the evening, but you’d hate to have to sit through the evening with your colleagues alone when you said you’d be bringing someone. That would make their usual nagging a hundred times worse. So instead, you suck it up and decide to ignore the issue just for the time being and you get ready.

You were able to find a new dress beforehand, the yellow dress is truly a sight to the sore eyes with the corset-like top and very subtle lace details here and there. It’s a little daring, but everyone goes all out for these parties usually and you definitely don’t want to be underdressed.

Harry texts you that he is in front of the building a little before seven, holding up the taxi he came with so you quickly grab everything you need and head out.

You’re the first one to see him through the glass entrance doors of your building, he is standing next to the car in a simple black suit and a soft yellow shirt underneath. It was actually your idea to match your outfits and he surely understood the assignment, especially seeing his also yellow nails.

Part of you is still hung up on what Leticia told you, but a bigger one is so excited to see him and also very into his look for the evening, that you push your doubts to the back of your mind and step out of the building with a shy smile on your lips as his eyes fall on you and you see his lips part.

“Wow! This dress is… wow!” he breathes out, his eyes raking your frame up and down shamelessly as you walk closer.

“Do you know any other words than wow?” you tease him, biting into your bottom lip.

“Yeah. How about: I would love to bend you over this taxi and take you here and now in this dress?”

Your face heats up immediately, slapping his arm, but then you leave your hand on his bicep and give it a squeeze as your answer: you’d definitely love that if it wasn’t kind of illegal to have sex out on a busy street.

The ignorance in you is so high that you don’t even mind how Harry keeps a hand on your thigh in the car, what’s more, you’re quite liking the warmth of his touch on you. His fingers are gently tapping against the music the driver is playing and he even hums a little along the songs.

“Hey, how is the album writing going?” you ask to break the silence a little.

“Great! They asked for fifteen songs until the end of August, so I have plenty of time, but I’m already done with six,” he beams, and you smile back at him proudly.

“That’s amazing. Can I hear any of them sometime?”

“I mean… if you buy the album?” he chuckles, making you roll your eyes at him. “I’ll see what I can do about that,” he then adds, giving your leg another squeeze before turning towards the window.

The party is just the same as it always is. A luxurious evening to celebrate the company’s success in the past six months, a way to give back to the employees and make them feel appreciated with all the free stuff. It’s nice, but you don’t feel like it’s necessary, people would be happier with a raise after all, than one night of free food and drinks.

Harry holds your hand as you walk in, the majority of the guests already present, music playing and there are several open buffet tables and bars in the gigantic ballroom that was decorated in a forest-like theme just for tonight.

“So you did not lie about bringing a date!” Anthony beams as soon as he sees you, his boyfriend, Pete following him right behind, both of them wearing matching burgundy suits.

“Have I lied to you about anything?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“Plenty of times,” he points out before turning towards Harry. “Hello handsome, I’m Anthony, Y/N’s favorite coworker, and this is my boyfriend, Pete.” They all shake hands, Harry smiling back at them warmly before his hand finds yours again, his fingers lacing together with yours in an instant.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Harry.”

“Oh my! The accent!” Anthony gushes, clearly already a fan of Harry’s. “I was really afraid Y/N just said that she is bringing someone so we would get out of her hair this time.”

“I feel offended,” you give him a look, but he just shrugs it off, even though he is more right than he knows.

“Come on, let’s get you guys a drink, we are all sitting over there!”

Joining all your coworkers at the table, you get a head start on the food and drinks, not shying away from stacking everything you like onto your plate. Talking, mixing and mingling, Harry stays right next to you, charming everyone the two of you meet, earning you some approving looks from your colleagues that usually try to set you up with someone they know. This time, you’re left in peace the moment they see Harry with you, his hand always somewhere on you, holding your hand, the small of your back, your hips or waist or, your personal favorite, the back of your neck under your hair. His presence is uplifting already, but his tiny touches just warm you even more on the inside.

“I have to say, Y/N, you are absolutely glowing!” Dianne, one of the editors compliment you when the two of you are at the bar waiting for your drinks to be refilled. Harry stayed back at the table, deep in conversation with Pete about guitars, from what you could understand from their conversation.

“Oh, thank you!” you chuckle softly.

“This man is for sure treating you well. It’s so great to see you finally finding your person.”

She meant well with her comment, but it’s what brings everything you kept hidden in the back of your head out to the front. Tonight was supposed to be all pretending, making everyone believe something that’s not even there, but then why do you feel like it’s real? Like you fooled yourself with everyone else as well?

Your eyes fall back to Harry at the table, who is intently listening to something Pete is telling him and as if he had a sixth sense, his eyes snap at you, a smile stretching across his pretty face at an instant that makes you stomach dance again, heart beating oddly fast.

What is happening to you? This cannot be real, you can’t be having feelings, especially not for Harry. No, you do not allow that for yourself, emotions are off limits for you, because if you fall for someone that gives them the chance to leave you and break you and you’ve seen what it does to a woman. You got enough of the suffering through your mother and you vowed not to let it happen to you. And not even Harry Styles will change that. This is about sex and nothing else, no feelings are involved and that will not change. You won’t let it.

Excusing yourself from Dianne you quickly go back to the table, the refills long forgotten as you take your seat next to Harry. His hand instantly finds your leg as he looks at you with a sweet smile at first that turns into slight confusion.

“Thought you went for a refill?”

“Forget the drinks,” you shake your head, leaning closer to his ear. “You promised me bathroom sex.”

You feel the shift in him right away, how he bites into his bottom lip, his bright green irises darkening at your words, his hold on your leg tightening. His gaze flickers to your eyes and you want to devour him, you want him to take you here and there to prove you that this is all it’s about: sex.

Clearing his throat he mumbles a lame excuse as he pulls you from your chair, tugging you towards the restrooms, you try to keep up with his pace in your heels, but you also can’t wait for him to slam you against the door and fuck you quick and hard.

As soon as you’re locked away from the party in one of the bathrooms, your lips collide with his as he pushes you up against the door, a leg coming between your thighs and you can’t stop yourself from grinding on him.

“Fuck,” he rasps out, hands cupping your jaw as he angles your head just right while your hands are already traveling down his body to reach his pants, eager to get them undone as fast as possible.

However the sudden rush and desperation catches Harry’s eyes and he grabs your hands, stopping you mid-action.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks, out of breath, concern filling his eyes.

“I just need you to fuck me,” you bluntly reply, but he doesn’t move.

“Okay, but why do you look so shaken up? Did something happen?”

“Harry, stop babying me! I said I’m fine, I just want you to fuck me!” you snap, losing your patience. Not sure if it’s with him or with yourself though.

“You’re obviously not fine! You are snapping at me for being decent and making sure you’re okay!” Harry steps away from you, the moment completely ruined as all physical contact ends with him, his eyes staring back at you in disbelief and you feel like a ticking bomb that’s about to explode.

“It’s not your concern if I’m okay or not. We have a deal, just go with that and leave the rest to me!”

“But above the deal we are friends too. I’m not gonna just… fuck you senseless when you’re obviously upset about something. You’re not in the right mindset.”

“Oh my God, stop being so fucking nice! Stop making these grand gestures and stop pretending like you give a fuck!” You raise your voice and it surely surprises him, but he is still more concerned than angry at your outburst.

“What do you mean pretending? I do care about you! Is that a fucking crime now?!”

“It is because it is for the wrong reasons!” you retort, feeling your throat closing up at the same time. Oh God, you hope you won’t start crying, that will make it even worse. “I think you are taking this pretending a little too far tonight. We are not a couple, this is not real, Harry,” you remind him.

He stares back at you for what feels like eternity and you wish you could read his mind, because you can’t read anything from his eyes, he just stands there like a statue and you feel panic crawling up your spine, slowly digging its claws into your flesh.

And then he finally breaks his silence.

“And would it be so bad if it was real?”

You can’t help a sob that emits from you, feeling like your guts are in a tight grip by his words. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

“No, take that back!” you whine.

“I’m not taking it back! Y/N, what we’ve been doing these past weeks is exactly what a relationship is like and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it until a label was put on it. It doesn’t have to change anything!”

“But it is! And you know I don’t do this!”

“Don’t do what? Feelings? You don’t get to choose that!” he chuckles bitterly.

“I do! I fucking do! And I chose not to have them so… this is ending here, because you clearly caught feelings,” you pant in desperate need of getting out of the bathroom, but when you are about to open the door Harry’s hand snaps against it, keeping it closed. You rest your forehead against the cool surface of it, feeling Harry stand so close to you behind, his chest is touching your back.

“Don’t just walk away, we are in the middle of a conversation,” he growls, his voice filled with anger and warning.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you whisper, shaking your head as you turn around and face him, your back pressing against the door.

“But I do,” he simply replies. “Why do you think you can just run away from feeling anything for the rest of your life? Why would it be so bad if you fell for someone, huh? I know you do have feelings, I know you well, Y/N. You’re not some cold hearted jerk, you are a caring and loving person, so why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

“I am happy the way I am, have you thought about that?”

“No, you’re not. I’ve known you half my life, I know that you want to be cared for, you want to be loved and cherished, yet you push away everyone who wants to give you that.”

“Because it’s not that easy, Harry!” you snap at him. “It’s never just the lovey-dovey shit! Feelings come with hurt and pain and heartbreaks and I don’t need that! I can’t handle that!”

“It’s not always the case! But if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never find the happiness you’re seeking!”

“Well, for me, it doesn’t worth it! I don’t want to fall for someone, plan my future with them and open up to them completely only for them to fall out of love with me one day and decide they don’t want anything to do with me! I don’t want to give anyone the chance to hurt me like that, because I’ve seen what it does to a person! I witnessed it all, Harry! I will not be a victim to that!”

You’re full on shouting, tears rolling down your cheeks at this point. You are letting everything out that’s been bottled up deep inside of you all this time. Nothing can make you believe in the fairytale that will never become your reality and you rather save the time and pain than experiment with it.

What really hurts is that now you are losing your friend. Your best friend. Because the way Harry is looking at you makes it obvious that you’ll never be like before the deal. The hurt, the shock, the panic and the anger, it all mixes in his wide-eyed gaze and it’s like a knife into your chest.

“You promised me, Harry,” you sob, voice now barely more than just a whisper. “You swore you wouldn’t catch feelings but you lied!”

“I didn’t lie,” he simply answers clenching his jaw. “I said I wouldn’t catch feelings for you, but truth is… I already had them. I was already in love with you, have been for a while. And you know what? I think you love me too, but you’re just too afraid to admit it. I know it because I can feel it. The way you touch me, look at me, the way you talk to me, it’s written all over you, but you choose to ignore it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you shake your head vigorously. “You think you know it, but you don’t.”

“Stop denying it, Y/N! You can’t just switch it off! Loving is not as horrendous as you think it is! Yes, it comes with pain too, but the good is always there to make you forget about it. You have to give it… you have to give yourself a chance!”

“I don’t have to do anything, Harry,” you sass back, pushing him away so you have the chance to sneak out of the room before he could stop you. But he doesn’t let it end that easily. Running after you he catches your wrist before you could get out of the hallway, pulling you back.

“Don’t just fucking walk away, Y/N! We need to talk about this!”

“No, we don’t. And I’m done with this. Done with… you.”

It hurts. The words rolling off of your tongue hurt, but you choose to ignore it once again as you shake his hand off of yourself, marching back to your table to grab your bag and leave.

“What do you mean you’re done with me? Don’t do this, Y/N! Let’s just fucking talk!”

Harry keeps trying to stop you, but you’re determined to leave. Your coworkers notice the little scene, but you don’t pay it any attention as you head out of the room, knowing well they’ll talk shit about you behind your back as soon as you’re out of the building.

“Y/N for fuck’s sake just stop already!” Harry snaps, grabbing your arm once again when you’re outside, pulling you back, but you’ve had enough.

“No! I’m not stopping, you need to stop! Stop trying to make yourself believe this is anything more than just the deal we made! It’s not and it will never be, because you don’t get to have the privilege of hurting me, nobody gets to do that!”

“Who said I want to hurt you?! That’s the last thing I would want to do! It’s not as cruel as you imagine it, Y/N. I know that your mum had a terrible love life when you were younger, but that’s not the only side to love! There are so much good about it, so much to fight for and endure with the bad sides, you can’t just throw all of it out the window because you decided love is just not for you!”

“I can and I will. Watch me!” you bite back, tearing your arm out of his hold as you step to the side of the pavement and wave a taxi down.

“Please don’t get into that car, Y/N, let’s talk!”

“We talked enough,” you huff as the car stops in front of you and you hop inside, but just as you are about to close the door Harry once again stops you.

“Y/N, I love you. Please don’t do this!” he begs, so much sorrow and pain radiating from his face and for a moment you fall weak. You almost reach out to him, because part of you hates seeing him like this, especially knowing that it’s because of you. You just want him to be happy, but you know it’s not gonna be with you. You can never give him what he wants and needs. He’ll be better off without you.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out before pulling the door closed and the car drives away. Turning around you see him stand on the pavement, completely broken and shaken, his hands tangling into his hair as he angrily kicks at the dirt before the car melts into the traffic and he falls out of your sight.

You did it for your and Harry’s sake. It had to be done and you are both better off this way. At least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince you to believe.

But why does it hurt so badly then?

Harry tried you calling a million times after you left him at the party, he even came after you and banged on your door for thirty minutes straight, begging you to let him in and just talk, but you didn’t even answer him. Just waited until he left before you curled up in the shower and cried for about an hour.

The calls and texts kept coming in the next few days, but after a while he gave up. He got nothing but silence from your side and one last, long ass text that you didn’t even read because you knew you’d just start crying again, he finally gave up.

You were left alone with all the pain and emptiness and you realized how big part of your life Harry played before. Somehow, everything reminded you of him and you couldn’t do anything without wishing he was with you.

You truly believed that time will heal you, that soon you’ll realize that you made the right decision, but days turned into weeks and nothing changed, you just learned to live with the pain. You stopped going out with your friends and not just because you were afraid of seeing Harry, but because you genuinely couldn’t get yourself to leave the house. Your evenings consisted of binge eating all the ice-cream you could find in your freezer and watching reruns of your favorite shows, but nothing could really take your mind off of Harry.

Day after day you cancelled on Leticia as well until she had enough of your hermit life. She got fed up watching you sink into your pit of sorrow and decided to take things into her own hands and not let you run away from her.

A Friday evening you’re doing what you’ve been doing for weeks now, lying on your couch in sweatpants, scrolling through Netflix when there’s a knock on your door. You wait, hoping whoever it is will think you’re not home and go away, but another obnoxious knock rips through the apartment and you growl.

“I know you’re in there bitch, open the fucking door!” Leticia shouts from outside and you curse the day you became friends with her. Maybe you would have been better off as enemies.

“I’m busy!” you call out, but make your way to the front door anyway, opening it to reveal her.

“Yeah, I can see that. Busy with being a bag of trash,” she comments on your appearance, walking inside without an invitation.

“Jeez, you really did wake up today and chose violence,” you mutter under your breath as you shut the door closed.

Leticia is quick to turn the TV off and open up the windows as you just stand there, not sure what she is doing here.

“When did you clean this place? And when was the last time you took a shower?” she asks, her nose scrunching when she takes a better look at you.

“Okay, did you come here to offend me? Because I don’t need that so please leave.”

“No, I’m here to beat some sense into you.”

“Good luck with that,” you scoff, taking your spot on the couch once again. You reach for the remote with the intention of turning the TV back on, but Leticia stands in front of the screen, blocking the device completely as she stares down at you with a disapproving look, arms folded on her chest.

“You’re acting like a child, Y/N. Avoiding everyone and being mad at the whole world, are you an emo teenager now or what?”

“I’m not mad at the whole world!”

“Okay, then you’re mad at just Harry, still, it’s a mistake.”

“I’m not mad at only Harry either,” you admit truthfully.

“Who else then?”

“Myself?” you mumble, eyes falling closed as you slide lower down on the couch.

“That makes the two of us, but why are you mad at yourself?” she asks, finally moving from her spot in front of the TV as she sits next to you on the couch, crossing her legs as she waits for your answer.

“Because…” you start with a sigh, opening your eyes, but you avoid looking at her, instead, you stare at the wall across you. “Because I can’t fucking stop thinking about him,” you admit and your lips start trembling instantly, just like every time you think about him. “I miss him so fucking badly, Tish! I miss our conversations, I miss his stupid jokes, I miss him raiding my fucking fridge and I miss…”

You bite your tongue, not wanting to admit the next thoughts loudly. Because you miss kissing him, you miss holding him and be held by him. You miss sex too, but you miss the tiny things even more, the way his lips feel against yours, how he smiles against them when you whimper his name and you miss the awkward little things the most. When he accidentally bumps his head against yours or when say random shit right before he pushes into you just to make you laugh, or when he leans in for a kiss but misses it and ends up kissing your nose or just the corner of your mouth. You miss everything about him and you hate him for that, but you hate yourself even more. It feels like your own conscious has betrayed you.

Shutting your eyes closed you let the tears roll down your cheeks as Leticia scoots closer and wraps her arms around you, cooing soothingly at you.

“It’s alright. It’s totally normal, Y/N.”

“It is not! Not for me at least!” you protest pulling back, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands.

“Stop with the bullshit already!” she growls in annoyance. “You are not some kind of ice queen who is incapable of loving! You love me, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s different,” you roll your eyes.

“Not really. You love your other friends as well, right?” You nod. “And you love your mom,” she adds and you nod again. “Would you do anything for these people?”

“Of course.”

“Do you like spending time with them? Do you care about them in all kinds of ways?”

“Yes,” you sigh, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

“Do you feel the same way about Harry? Do you care about him, would you do anything for him to make him happy?”

“Yes,” you whisper truthfully.

“Then don’t complicate it. You love him, no big deal! And he surely loves you back, because he told you, right?” You nod. “Then pull your head out of your ass and just let yourself be happy for once.”

“Why are you coming with this too? I was happy on my own too!”

“No, you were getting by,” she points it out. “You were doing good, but you weren’t… a whole. Harry gave you everything you missed, but for some fucked up reason you think it’s the end of the world to depend on someone else partially when it comes to your happiness. Which can be a smart thing, it’s important to be your own person and be independent, but sometimes we need some help from others. From people that love us and we love them back. It’s not a crime, Y/N.”

“No, but it’s gonna end up with me being heartbroken.”

“You already are,” she ruthlessly replies, bringing your attention to what you’ve been trying to ignore all this time. “Hate to break it to you, but this is what that feels like. So why not just go with it, you already felt the pain, now you could go for the good parts as well.”

“I don’t know if I can do it, Tish,” you breathe out, resting your head against the back of the couch. “Even if I did it, I know I would mess it up and hurt him or maybe he’ll do something stupid and hurt me and I don’t think I can handle that.”

“So what? It’s part of the deal. And besides, you’re already hurting each other, so you better get your shit together,” she scoffs, poking your side playfully.

It’s part of the deal. Are you ready to make a new deal? One that you’ve been avoiding your whole life? Are you ready to cut yourself open for someone else and just hope for the best?

Probably not. And probably you’ll never be. But your tactics didn’t succeed so far, you still ended up in pain so why not give it a chance? Even if it’s gonna be the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

“Do you think he hates me now?” you ask quietly, peeking at her scared of her answer.

“He is a bit mad at you for shutting him out, but he could never hate you. That man loves you so much, it’s almost disgusting,” she admits, making you chuckle. “Just… be honest with him and talk to him. You need it. You both need it.”

Harry’s fingers strum against the chords again, trying to get the tune right, but he fails again, a frustrated growl leaving his lips as he lets his head fall forwards. He’s been trying to finish the song for hours, but it still hasn’t come together the way he imagined and his patience is running short.

It’s been hard for him to focus on writing, with you on his mind all the time, everything seems like a hard task. He has written plenty of songs since the night at the party, but he could never use them for his job. One, because they are so fucking sad and depressive and they asked for upbeat hits from him, and two, because they are all so personal, he could never give them to someone else. He can’t let anyone else sing the lines he wrote to you, but you’ll probably never hear them.

Giving up on finishing the song today, he puts the guitar aside and calls it a day. Walking into the kitchen he opens the fridge and realizes that it’s completely empty aside from a bottle of ketchup and a single banana. He’s been such a mess lately, he forgot to go grocery shopping yesterday. Huffing to himself he grabs the banana and reaches for his phone to order something right when his doorbell rings. He is not expecting anyone, but Mitch has been popping in every few days to check in on him since everything that went down with you, so Harry is convinced it’s him again.

“Great timing, do you want Italian or Chinese?” he asks, walking up to the door, but as he swings it open he freezes when he sees you standing on the doormat. “Y/N…” he breathes out as if he was seeing a ghost.

“Hi! I-I hope I’m not bothering you o-or anything…” you ramble nervously.

“No! No, come on in!” He snaps out of his trance and steps aside, letting you walk inside. A feeling of nostalgia hits you right away as you think back at the last time you were here. Just a few days before the party, when everything was different.

“I’m sorry I came without asking, I just… I would say I was nearby, but that’s not true,” you chuckle anxiously as the two of you walk into the living room. You notice that his place is a little messier than usually, but it’s not nearly as bad as yours was before you did a deep cleaning yesterday after Leticia’s comments on it.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. What… What brought you here?”

“I, uhh… I’ve been thinking. A lot. And I have a few things I need to tell you.”

For a moment Harry’s stomach drops, because he thinks you came here to tell him off one more time for breaking your deal, for everything that happened at the party. He is already bracing himself to just let you lash out on him, but it never comes. And when you speak up again, he nearly faints.

“I love you.”

It’s a strong start, definitely a surprising one. Harry’s lips part and his eyes widen, his look almost comical, but you’re not laughing, not now. You have a lot to tell him and you can only hope he won’t throw you out after everything is said.

“I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to stop ignoring it, but I promise you I’m done with that. And I’m sorry for everything I said to you that night, I was… mad and confused and I didn’t know how to deal with everything at once. I was delusional and ignorant and… a fool for thinking that I could just choose to never have feelings, especially for you,” you add with a tiny, nervous chuckle. “You were right. About everything. That I can’t live without ever putting myself out there and risking it. And I think deep down I knew that, but I was so afraid of getting hurt that I made myself believe I’m good on my own, but I’m not. Not entirely, to be precise. Because sometimes it is worth risking it and… and I realized that you are the person for me who is worth this risk.”

The tears are already blurring your vision, for the millionth time these past weeks, but it feels right now. Opening up to Harry and telling him all of this is hard, but with every spoken word you feel lighter and more relieved.

“I’m sorry if I made you think that I don’t love you, because I do. I really do. You are my best friend and these past weeks have been hell for me without you. I was so keen on avoiding a heart break that I ended up breaking my own heart,” you chuckle bitterly, the first tear running down your cheek.

Harry reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb and you involuntarily melt into his touch. You’ve been starved for it and now it feels like home. When you look up and your eyes meet his, you see that they are red too and it just makes you want to cry even more.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought that I was doing the right thing, but I was so far from that. So I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t want to see me again for the way I acted. I was… a horrible friend and… an even worse girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah. Because you were right, we were more than just the deal and… if you choose not to throw me out after this, I would… I would love to give it a try with you. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve and though I’m sure I’ll mess it up a lot of times, I promise I’ll try my best, becau—“

He makes your rambling stop in the best way possible, lips smashing against yours as he cups your tear-soaked cheeks in his warm palms, pulling you close to him, your arms curling around his waist immediately.

Harry has kissed you several times before, but none of them compares to this. It’s messy and salty from both your tears, but you wouldn’t change a thing about it, the way his lips move against yours, tongues meeting, devouring each other, making up for the lost time and full of promises for the future. You hold onto his shirt at his back for dear life as he just keeps kissing you over and over again until you both run out of breath.

“So, does this mean you’re not throwing me out?” you joke, breaking the silence once you’ve pulled back.

“Fuck no,” he laughs, pecking your lips a few more times before his lips meet your forehead. “You are not leaving this place, ever. You’re trapped,” he adds to the joke and you break out in a relieved laughter.

“Wait, so I’m stuck with you now?” you whine playfully, but all you get is another kiss on the lips, hard and demanding.

“Yeah, forever, baby. You won’t get rid of me now, not after the speech you just gave me,” he smirks down at you, his arms coming to curl around your shoulders as he keeps you pressed against him tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you reply, your heart soaring as you hear those words again from him, this time, not even trying to dodge them in any way. In fact, you just want to hear him say it every minute over and over again for the rest of your life. “And I’m happy to be stuck with you,” you add with a shy smile as his grin widens at your words.

“Yeah? So we have a new deal then?” he teases, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Absolutely.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles au #harry styles imagine

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princecharmingmendes · 3 years ago

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Our Little Winter Wonderland | Raul Mendes

When your 6'2 of a boyfriend, a former "Grinch", decides to turn your house into Winter Wonderland overnight.

. masterlist

Hey guys, can't believe the year is almost over. I hope it's not too late to end 2021 with a small Christmas themed oneshot for my favorite little universe (Hey Angel). So this is just a cute little thing I put together inspired by the holidays that are part of a storyline, but can be read as a stand alone as well. As always happy reading and happy holidays everyone! 💘

*Word Count: 3K+

*Warnings: minor cursing and overbearing fluff.

*Posted: December 31st, 2021.

-*-

Y/N didn’t really know if she should be mad or laugh at Raul.

If she was honest, it’s not like she hadn’t seen it coming, specially after almost four years since they started dating and now that they’re living together. He asked her to move in with him on his birthday and by thanksgiving everything was solved and settled, and since it was their first holiday living in his place, Raul offered to host the Christmas Eve dinner on their place. But the problem was (according to Raul himself) that he didn’t own any sort of thematic decoration or items, since he shared his place with his brother and spent most holidays in their hometown or traveling with Shawn. And ever since they both came to visit Y/N’s parents and he saw the effort at herr sisters place, he turned into a Christmas maniac.

It all started while they’re packing all of her stuff from her place and Raul stumbled across a tiny box with her minor Christmas decor and he realized he didn’t even own a stocking or whatever, not a single ornament. Y/N brushed it off saying they didn’t have to make a big deal out of it since they’re most likely leaving for the holidays, but what she didn’t expect was for her boyfriend to lose his mind over it. He started a whole inquiry about their traditions and famous dishes, how much was too much on decor and at the time, Y/N didn’t even bat an eye at his sudden strange curiosity, thinking he’d drop the subject soon enough.

But when she arrived at home from work and was met with a massive tree standing by their floor to ceiling windows in the corner of the living room she was a bit shocked, to say the least. Too stunned to speak or react, she didn’t even notice her 6’3 boyfriend leaning over the kitchen island on her Pinterest account that was logged on her computer, searching for a list of things he should buy to decorate their place.

“Oh, hi, Bambi, how was work?” he mumbled closing her notebook and smiling up at her.

Still trying to assimilate everything, Y/N turned slowly to face her boyfriend “Good, I’m guessing your day off was pretty busy” she mumbled placing her bag on the counter, her shoes discarded by the door next to her coat already hanging beside it.

“Oh no, that only took me an hour, did you like it?” and despite his nonchalant behavior, there was some sort of nervousness laced in his voice.

She nodded as he walked around the marble counter to wrap her in a warm embrace “It’s beautiful, darling, I just wasn’t expecting it”

“Really? We’ve got like a week til Christmas, Bambi”

Y/N chuckled softly laying her head on his chest “I know, silly, just didn’t know we were decorating for the holidays this year, since I just moved in and all”

“Well, of course we are, I don’t want to be or become a Grinch or something” he joked, but the proud smile blossoming on his lips “so you liked it?”

“Of course I did, it was a nice surprise”

Raul smiled before leaning down to peck her lips “There’s another one in the oven”

“Really? You made us dinner?” her eyes lit up as he hummed his affirming response.

“Yep, I had to go grocery shopping so I grabbed some extra items to make you homemade lasagna and there’s wine in the fridge” his honeyed voice and sweet acts were slowly melting her bones, thank God for his strong hold on her waist.

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around his neck as she stood on her tippy toes as he gently cradled her face in his hands “Darling, we’re already living together and we’ve been together for years now, you don’t have to try and seduce me”

“Oh but I do! Is it working?” he asked sweetly rubbing their noses together in a puppies kiss.

Y/N only giggled as she pressed a kiss to his pink lips “You know it is”

“Good, now let’s eat cause I’m starving” he said before leaning down and picking her up, making her let out a small shriek in surprise.

“Put me down, you idiot, now!”

Raul tsked putting her down by the table “now that’s not how you’re supposed to talk to your very loving boyfriend, Bambi”

“Well if my very loving boyfriend wasn’t such a jerk I wouldn’t talk to him like that” she said with a playful roll of her eyes.

“You're the one who chose to love me, so deal with it” he punctuated his last sentence with a bop to her nose, making her laugh.

“Fine, Fine, now let’s have dinner cause I’m starving and I need to sleep” Y/N said helping him set the table.

Raul chuckled but was quick to move around the kitchen, promptly serving her food and joining her on the table. During the meal, only a light banter kept them company as he kept up with his questions about everything involving Christmas decorations, claiming he didn’t really care about the date when he was younger and didn’t make any efforts to change that when he left for college. Little did Y/N know how much he had planned. After they’re done, they both cleaned up after themselves and he was quick to follow her to their bathroom for their night routine. Ever since they made the habit of spending most of their time in one of their apartments, the other stocked up the bathroom with everything they could possibly need, so very quickly he discovered he enjoyed watching her removing or applying her make up and that didn’t change when she moved in.

So when Y/N propped herself on the sink, Raul took the spot right behind her, gently placing a kiss to her shoulder before moving to wash his face and brush his teeth. When he was done, he moved closer to her to wrap an arm around her waist, to which she just shook her head with a small giggle in response. Raul’s love language is through physical touch and acts of service, so when they first started dating, she wasn’t used to his touchy self, but she discovered she loved it just as much. He just doesn’t need to know how much and needs to deal with her teasing about how he ‘can’t seem to keep his hands to himself’ to which he normally replies with a simple ‘of course not, you’re looking like a fucking goodness all of the time, how am I supposed to behave?!’

“Time for bed” he announced as soon as he knew she was done, picking her up easily as she giggled wrapping her arms around his neck, used to her 6’2 of a boyfriend carrying her around.

“Sure, boss, do I have much of a choice?” she asked as she felt her body bouncing on the mattress.

Raul dived under the covers right beside her, pulling her flush to his chest “nope, now you’re all mine, rest up, Bambi, we’ve got a full day tomorrow”

“What? It’s Saturday, can’t we just stay in bed all day?” she asked with a small pout, tracing his solid abs with the tip of her nail under his shirt, trying to somehow convince him to let her sleep in.

“Na ah” he was quick to grab her wrist, placing a delicate kiss in the back of her hand “no way, we’ve got to shop for Christmas presents before it starts getting chaotic”

Y/N whined tucking her head against his neck as he chuckled, pulling her even closer to him and placing her leg between his two “fine, we’ll go in the morning”

“I’ll make you pancakes” he tried to bargain for a smile and as always, he was able to pull one from her as she pressed a barely there peck to his neck “goodnight, Bambi”

“Night, darling” she murmured in a sweet sigh.

-*-

Raul was a sneaky little thing.

There was no way Y/N could be mad at him for waking her up early on her free weekend with kisses and breakfast in bed, despite the grumpiness that was fighting to settle for the day and sour her mood, his affection and sweet words coaxed giggles out of her. After stuffing her full with pancakes made from scratch and coffee, he dragged her out of bed and into the freezing weather outside, wrapping her up in her fluffiest coats and a knit scarf so she wouldn’t get cold during the day.

“Bambi, don’t want you sick during the holidays” was his excuse as he placed a kiss to the tip of her nose shutting down every complaint she had come up with.

“Do you think we’ll be back for lunch?” she asked as she grabbed her bag to leave.

But his response was a soft shrug before walking towards the door to wait for her with his outstretched hand “depends, we can if you want”

“Please, I need a long nap before Peter comes for dinner tonight” she pulled her best pout as she interlocked their fingers gently.

“Oh fuck, forgot about that” he mumbled as he pressed the elevator button “but sure, whatever you want, I’m all yours, Bambi”

Y/N smiled fondly at him, before wrapping an arm the best she could around his neck and pulling him down for a sweet and quick peck “good” was all she mumbled as she pulled him by the scarf to enter the elevator.

And Raul kept his promise the best he could, quickly moving through their gifts list since they already purchased a couple the week before, so when it was barely 11 a.m. and they pretty much had bought everything they needed, he pulled his puppy eyes and begged her for them to take a look at decorations since their tree was too simple and would be weird to not have at least a couple of ornaments.

“But darling, you didn’t even decorate for the holidays before, what changed so suddenly?” she finally broke and asked what’s been bothering her for days now.

Raul turned to her holding three different types of lights to put on their tree with a sheepish smile “you did”

“Me? What did I do?”

“You love Christmas decor and holiday traditions” he stated as if it was the most obvious reason on the planet “now help me out, do you think this is long enough to cover the whole tree?”

“No, you bought the biggest one I’ve ever seen for an apartment” her reply came automatically “but wait a second, you don’t have to this for me, we can buy a couple things each year and collect them along the way, there’s no rush, please don’t go through all this headache because of string lights”

“It’s not a headache, I just want to make you smile and feel at home”

Y/N shook her head at her boyfriend as she reached to cup his cheek “you do, I promise you, I’m the happiest human on the planet when I’m with you and I do feel at home, where is all this coming from?”

“I saw you with your mom on the phone the other day, her house looks amazing and it’s almost as if she has a whole winter wonderland over there, and you mentioned it before, how you were always a fan and all the crazy stories you had while assembling everything together, I just wanted you to have that with me too”

“You’re ridiculous” she mumbled with a soft smile on her lips as her heart melted completely on her chest “but I love you so much”

“I love you too, Bambi” he said pressing a kiss to her forehead and carefully placing the lights on their cart that already had a couple of random items for his decor.

“And I’m grateful you’re going through all this trouble just to give me this experience with you, but we can go slow, yeah? Slowly adding to the collection” she added in a more serious note, to which he just nodded in response.

“Of course, I just have a small list of basic things I googled that are stuff we need to have and then I’m done”

“Promise?” Y/N asked with an arched brow raising her pinky.

He gave her a wolffish grin as he interlocked their fingers “of course, Bambi”

-*-

He did not keep his promise. Raul kept placing more and more items to decorate their apartment while trying to distract his girlfriend so she wouldn’t get mad at him for buying so much more than originally planned.

Or at least that’s what he thought he was doing.

Y/N was painfully aware of every attempt he made to sneakily at another set of decorative figures and flowers (or pretty much anything he laid his eyes on that were christmas related). But she couldn’t bring herself to stop him, not when he was looking so happy and accomplished with every little detail. So she pretended to fall for his every excuse and ignored all the things that kept piling in front of her, and when he went to pay and asked her to grab them hot chocolate, she didn’t even try to argue, letting Raul in line as he almost cheerfully hopped to pay and pack everything.

After they were already at home, they ordered some food to eat while she made him watch Grinch, which is a classic for the season, only for them to move to the bed once they’re done with the containers for their well deserved nap.

But when Y/N woke up almost three hours later in an empty bed, she only let out a little giggle, before stretching her arm to grab her phone and text Peter quickly to make sure he was still coming tonight before climbing out of bed. And despite seeing everything Raul picked on the store, nothing could have prepared her for what she witnessed as soon as she walked into their living room. He didn’t notice her at first, too engrossed on the hanging the lights on the tree to notice Y/N leaning against the doorframe that divided the bedroom and home office from the rest of the apartment with a smile on her lips.

He didn’t put much together, mostly the lights and took everything out of their little boxes so he could call her out only on the fun part, but the simple fact that he truly went all the way just for her was enough to bring happy tears to her eyes and her heart thump a bit faster. Once he was satisfied with the placement of the lights while humming to some random Christmas jingle, he turned around to go off the little stool he bought to help and immediately noticed her staring from her little hiding spot.

“Hi Bambi, I was about to call you and ask if you wanted to help” he said with a small blush coating his cheeks as he stepped closer to her to wrap her in his arms.

“Well, of course I do, it’s the best part”

“Does it look bad? I’ve been trying to figure out how to place the lights correctly for the past twenty minutes but I think I got it” Raul shrugged his shoulders as if it wasn’t a big deal, but the fear of screwing things up was evident in his eyes as he examined every spot over and over again.

She shook her head with a laugh “It's beautiful, darling, promise you it’s not rocket science, you did an amazing job”

“Thank you” the proud smile on his face was worth waking up early to go shop for Christmas decor.

“How long have you been up?” she said as she looked around to see how much more work he had done around the place.

“A little more than an hour and a half”

Y/N stared at him, recognizing the small smirk forming on his face “What else did you do to take so much time? Other than the amazing work with the lights, of course”

“You wound me thinking I’d do anything without you, Bambi, what kind of a boyfriend would I be if- ” before he could finish his speech she cut him off.

“What else did you do?” his reply was looking up at the door frame right above both of them, from where a small mistletoe was hanging timidly in the corner “of course you did that”

“It's a tradition, you don’t want to break it and bring bad luck for our first Christmas living together, do you, Bambi?”

“You’re a little shit” she mumbled as he chuckled and leaned down to press a long yet loving kiss to her lips.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Bambi, you still love me though”

She sighed in response, incapable of keeping the giggle from bubbling up her chest as she laid her head on his chest, his hold on her waist tightening even more as he peppered kisses all over her head. That was when she noticed small green leaves with a red ribbon tied to every single doorframe around the living room, a couple of windows and random other places, like on kitchen cabinets, above the stove and by the coatrack.

“Honey?” she called softly, but he only hummed in response, so she pushed him back a bit so she could take a better look around “How many mistletoes did you buy again?”

“Don't know, guess we’ll have to find out together” he replied with a wink, bobbing her nose and turning around to face the rest of the decorations they had left “Now come help me, wanna be done with the tree before Peter arrives with his girlfriend for dinner”

-*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

119 notes · View notes

gucciwins · 4 years ago

Text

Trouble Follows

Harry’s a firefighter, he believes in accidents not coincidences but that changes when he meets Y/N multiples times at different calls.

Word count: 8128

A/N: Hello friends, hope you’re well. life has been eventful since the start of the year but when is it not. first story of 2021 and i’m excited to share it. i started this story a few months back (yes chicago fire was an inspiration). firefighter!harry is dear and near to my heart. i do hope you love it and let me know you thoughts. happy reading

It's the start of a twenty-four-hour shift.

A day that feels like it may never end until it does.

Harry's in the common room with the crew. He's got his black coffee, his first of many for the day, and the morning's paper that Lincoln dropped on the table. There isn't anything impressive; he grabs a pen he sees on the table and begins to do the crossword puzzle.

10 letters

1. down - crater creator.

Harry's already lost, and it is only the first one.

He's not good at them, not one bit. Sarah always ends up finishing the crosswords.

The chatter is loud, and as he slides the newspaper down to Mitch, who will silently hand it over to Sarah. Harry likes the morning buzz; everyone catches up from not seeing each other for forty-eight hours. Although, many do see each other, seeing as they are roommates. Harry used to live with Mitch until he moved in with Sarah last fall after two years of dating. Mitch told him there might be a wedding in the future or, as Sarah likes to joke about all the time, an elopement.

"Morning, H.," Wilson says, patting his shoulder, making his way to the empty coffee awaiting him. Harry knows they are seconds away from an outburst. Wilson can be just a tad bit dramatic.

The alarms begin to ring as he lifts up the empty pot. "Truck 51, Squad 3, 62, Battalion 25, Ambulance 62 House fire at 5082 North Bell Ave."

"Looks like we were saved by the bell." Lincoln laughs as they all rush out to get dressed and on the truck as quick as they can.

Harry and Mitch are out in seconds, never one to lollygag. The rest are quick to follow, slipping on their pants, and the coat quickly follows. Harry looks around, making sure everyone is accounted for before jumping into his spot in the passenger seat, Wilson at the wheel pulling out of the station with the siren blaring.

He watches the city go by as they rush to their destination. There is a lot heard of trees they pass by, and he knows they are passing the city park that is always filled with laughter and Harry knows they will be arriving soon, and as always, he prepares for the worst but hopes for the best.

They arrive in under ten minutes. It's a nice residential area, one that doesn't make frequent calls. The fire seems under control, not growing, but there is a lot of smoke. "Frankie, Lincoln, make sure these people stay back."

"You got it, Lieutenant," Lincoln responds quickly, getting to work, Frankie following right behind him.

Harry spots an old woman being held up by a young female his age. The old woman looks distraught by the fire, and Harry knows this must be the owner.

"Ma'am, I'm Lieutenant Styles. Can you tell me what happened?" He approaches, voice firm, ready to take in the needed information.

"She inhaled a lot of smoke. Can your paramedic check her out?" Harry's eyes shift to the woman. She's beautiful; she's in grey sweats and an oversized sweater that has what he assumes is Pascal from Tangled coming out of the pocket. Harry shakes his thoughts away, focusing back on her catching her last words. "Still in shock."

"Sarah," Harry calls out once, and she is quick to rush over. They set the old woman on the stretcher and quickly put an oxygen mask over her.

"Miss, may you tell me what you know. That way, we figure out the best way to get this fire out."

She's quick to nod. "Of course, I was on my way over to check on Mrs. Waters like I do every morning, but this time was different. Earl, her next-door neighbor, was outside calling 9-1-1. He told me he didn't see her run out. I rushed in to see her standing on the top steps of her staircase, staring into the burning room. She was coughing a lot, and I rushed her out. She thinks she knocked the candle down in her knitting room when she went down for her tea." She says all that in one breath. "The room is the first door on the left up the stairs. It's the back of the house."

Harry nods at her before turning away. "Mitch, you and Wilson take the hose through the side gate. Spray the room; it's a candle fire. Once it's out, let me know, so we can go in for a sweep through."

"Yes, Lieutenant."

Harry sees Mrs. Waters has begun to calm down and has the color back in her face. He knows they are going to take her down to Med to do a run-through. Harry turns around to speak with the young woman, but he doesn't see her anymore.

He's about to ask Sarah when he sees Chief Rivera run into a sprint and catches her in his arms. He didn't notice she began to walk away from him and over to the other pedestrians to assure them everything was alright. Harry yells for Esme, worried for the woman.

"I'm good." She barely makes out. "Think the adrenaline has run its course. That's all. I didn't even inhale that much smoke."

Chief Rivera ignores her protests and sets her on the side of the ambulance. "Please check her out." He directs his orders to Esme.

"Thanks for saving me, Mr. Chief. That would have led to a nasty concussion." Pascal sweater answers.

Chief gives her a quick nod before walking away.

"Miss, what's your name," Esme asks her. Putting an oxygen mask over her face and resting it on her nose and mouth. She takes a deep breath before answering.

"Y/N."

Beautiful name. It suits her.

"Do your lungs hurt or your chest?"

"No, do you think I can ride with Mrs. Waters?" Y/N interrupts Esme with an apologetic smile. "It's just that her granddaughter is her last living relative and lives an hour away. Her husband passed away four months ago. I'm all she's got."

"We've got room for you," Sarah responds, always having a soft spot even though you wouldn't know from her tough exterior.

Harry walks away, not hearing the rest of the conversation but feeling good that both are okay. He thinks she's crazy for rushing into a burning building with nothing on her to protect her, but he does this for a living, so who is he to judge?

Mitch gives him the all-clear.

Harry heads into the building with Frankie and Lincoln, no more thoughts of the beautiful girl he met.

He's got a job to do, and he has to do it right. They start in the living room before entering the kitchen, seeing dirty dishes in the sink and a plate of what looks like fresh banana bread. He's going to be left with that craving. Harry leads the way up, careful with the stairs just in case of collapse, seeing how black the once blue carpet has turned. There was a lot of damage, and it pains him to see such a well-loved house be affected this way.

"All clear!" He shouts, making sure Lincoln and Frankie head down before him.

Once back outside, Harry slips off his helmet. He nods over to Chief Rivera, who gives him a curt nod in return. He turns around to address the crew, "Pack it up." Everyone scatters to gather and put away their tools as quickly as they can.

All in a day's work, time to head back and hope each call is as successful as this one.

Harry might not tell anyone, but the woman Y/N stays on his mind all day.

Sitting in his office, getting paperwork done is not something he enjoys. He is good at it, though.

He's always thorough, a perfectionist.

It's essential because the Battalion Chief isn't kind at all, and even the smallest mistake on a report can send him on a full-on rage rampage. Thankfully, it's been a few months, and he is on his fourth wife stuck in the honeymoon phase, at least for the time being, giving them all some much-needed peace.

Harry has an open-door policy; he closes it; he feels he loses that connection to his friends. They may be coworkers, but after everything they have been through, he sees them as family, and one does not close the door on family.

It is also because he gets to hear all that's going on. Sarah and Mitch were going to visit his family in the upcoming month, and Sarah seemed far more excited than Mitch. Wilson had a new date lined up for the weekend to make up for the next few days he has to spend at work. Esme was talking Frankie's ear off about how she was knitting a new blanket for her niece and how each patch would be a different color with a different meaning.

He likes how well they all get on. Squad might keep their distance, but everyone does get along. It's not common in firehouses as he's heard from others. The hazing gets taken too far and ever a few male chauvinists. Don't worry, that isn't the one thing the Battalion Chief does not accept; he respects and loves women just doesn't like others' happiness.

Harry's proud of how far he has come, but most of the family he has become a part of. He knows how lucky he is. It also means he will never take it for granted.

They are his home away from home. Seeing as his family is an ocean away.

"Harry."

He looks up, seeing Mitch staring at him. "How can I help you, Mitchell?"

Mitch rolls his eyes, causing Harry to smirk. "Was wondering what you were doing after shift today?"

"Asking me on a date? Think Sarah might get jealous." Harry smirks at his best friend.

"It was her idea."

Harry smirks is replaced with a sincere smile. "Told you she has a soft spot for me."

"Dinner at my place? Have a few drinks, watch one of your favorite romantic comedies." Mitch suggests not at all like him to do so.

Harry was about to say yes when the alarm started ringing. "Truck 51, Squad 3, Battalion 25, Ambulance 62." A brief pause, "School fire 1260 West Adams."

"That's the small elementary school up the street," Harry tells him, shooting up from his chair and out the door to get in the protective gear.

Harry knows this fire won't be easy, but he's with the best of the best and knows it'll be alright. He knows they are approaching, and he always likes to go over how he wants things to be handled before getting out, but more significant fires need more focus. He also knows they all fall under the Chief's orders today and not his.

"Mitch and Wilson go in together. You know how it goes. Get everyone to head out, and our priority is getting the fire out" Harry looks back, getting a silent nod. "Candidate, how are you feeling?"

"Ready, Lieutenant." She answers confidently.

Harry gives her a sharp look, knowing he's got nothing to worry about her. Frankie is one of the best firefighters truck 51 has ever had. "Good, you'll be going in with Lincoln."

"What about you, Lieutenant?" Lincoln can't help but ask.

"I'm sure the Chief is going in. I'm going to stick with him." Harry knows his Chief well, and nothing will stop him from helping out.

Wilson parks right out front, and Harry can't see any smoke coming out. At least, not yet.

Harry is met with who he assumes is the principal; he didn't have time for an introduction. The woman explained there was a science lab gone wrong and that the sprinklers did not go off. They rushed everyone out quickly, following the fire drill procedures.

These kids are panicked but are being pointed towards an exit, and not until after the fire is controlled can they make sure everyone is counted for. Harry knows they have to work swiftly and make sure no one gets left inside.

A man with glasses and a smoked black salmon shirt approached them, and Harry assumed by the looks of it he was the teacher that was part of the fire. "The bunsen burner caught fire. I don't know why. We've done this experiment for years without accidents."

He eyes a few students wet and can assume the sprinklers went off much later than they would have liked. It means the fire has lessened, and it was safer to go in.

"We'll take care of it." He assures them.

"Get two hose lines in there." Chief Rivera directs right away. "Truck, Squad search, and evacuate. Let's go."

Everyone moves and begins to make their way into the burning building. It's a small two-story building; he sees frightened first graders to fifth graders watching him as he makes his way inside.

"Keep moving," Chief Rivera says to teachers ushering students out.

Harry knows Sarah and Esme have many people to look after and hope that more help can get there sooner rather than later.

As he makes his way inside, he feels the alarm ringing in his ears as he follows close behind Chief. It's something he's used to but doesn't mean he likes it.

"Fire department, call out," Harry shouts. He scans each room, not seeing anything and continuing on.

They make way to where the fire is, and it's growing.

Harry can see a bunsen burner tipped on its side. He takes a step towards the classroom and see's another tipped over but with a tear in it. It seems that one ripped and caught a spark setting the fire off.

"Chief, we need to get the gas off, or it'll only continue to grow." Harry looks over at Jorge, both waiting for the order to go in.

Chief speaks into his radio, asking where the gas shut off is located. Harry hears Florence recite back what a male voice told him to the Chief.

"Gas tank is in the backroom; it should shut it off. Be careful." His voice gruff.

"You got it."

Jorge leads, and Harry follows behind right on his heel. It only grows hotter as they make their way inside. He hugs the right side of the room, making sure to avoid the growing fire.

Jorge reaches to shut it when Harry notices a second one. "Jorge, there's two. We need to shut them at the same time." Harry hurries over. "Ready, turn!"

It clicks shut, and they let out a deep breath. Jorge pats Harry on the shoulder in acknowledgment.

"Let's head out. They need to hose this down."

Harry nods and follows him out, moving much faster this time. As quick as he was in the building, he now stands outside of it. He slips his helmet off, wanting to lose some pressure.

"Hey Chief, the fire's out." Lincoln comes out to inform.

Chief responds with a grunt, turning to the principal, holding a binder with lots of overflowing papers.

"What's the count?" Everyone holds their breath, waiting for the news. Squad prepared to go in if necessary.

"Everyone Is accounted for, Chief." She responds, a shaky smile on her face.

"Good."

Harry lets out the breath he was holding. There was no real injury today, and he is thankful for being burnt in a fire is not easy, and he knows that from experience.

His crew had begun to clean up already, and he was about to join when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turns to see a familiar woman but waits for her to speak; after all, she approached him.

"Hello, Lieutenant." She greets with a small smile. "There was no injury right. I checked over my students but want to know everyone else is safe."

"Injuries there were none unless you count Lincoln tripping into the truck on the way here." Harry jokes, not sure at all what made him break his seriousness.

She laughs. It's music to his ears.

He would enjoy being able to hear it again.

"Our team got everyone oxygen that needed it. The students and teachers are looking fine, and I assume parents have been informed of the incident."

"Called and picked up as soon as you clear out."

Harry stares at her for another second; she's wearing a lilac knitted sweater with bell-bottom jeans. He chuckles looks like he isn't the only one still wearing them out and about.

"You're from the North Bell fire," Harry tells her. He acts like her name slipped his mind, but that is the farthest thing from the truth. Her face and her name have not left his mind since that day. It's as if it has been imprinted.

"Yeah, Mrs. Waters. Good memory." She nods at him, obviously impressed. "She's good, staying with her granddaughter for the time being."

"That's nice to hear." Harry knows their conversation is coming to an end.

"Well, thank you for lessening my concern. Have a good day, Lieutenant Styles." She flashes him a broad smile, her eyes shining bright, keeping him entranced even after she walks away from him.

Harry watches her walk away, how she kneels down to talk to a young girl who was crying. Wipes her tears away with a handkerchief, she pulled out of her pocket. Little girl eventually laughs; it rings loud throughout the mess that way today; a child's laugh uplifting in a moment of darkness. It truly is the small things in life that should be appreciated.

His thoughts drift back to Y/N; what are the odds he runs into her just one week later.

She's pretty; he's not going to lie. He'd ask her on a date if he were to meet her at a bar, but no, never on the job.

If it's happened twice, maybe he's lucky enough for a third.

Although he hopes under better circumstances.

Harry had gone unbothered for over two hours, which is too long in the firehouse. He got the majority of his work done and decided to leave his office to find out what everyone was up to.

He was not surprised to see them in the common room, but he was shocked to see them all munching on cookies and not just any kind. They were snickerdoodle cookies, and they smelled divine like his mother had just taken them out of the oven with his watchful gaze eyeing every single one.

"Those smell amazing." Harry was quick to say eagerly, wanting someone to hand him one or five.

"Home-baked," Sarah calls out through a mouth full of cookies she was chewing.

Harry laughs because he knew that already. He reaches into the box in front of Mitch but is met with a slap on his wrist, and Harry quickly pulls back.

"Oi, that's not very kind of you, Mitchie."

Harry crosses his arms over his chest, but Frankie walks by a smaller box in hand, 'Lieutenant' written on top in elegant writing, and shoves it into his chest. He grabs it quickly, not wanting it to fall.

"Who brought them?" Harry asks because whoever baked something so heavily deserves all the praise, and he is more than ready to give it.

He opens his box and bites into the still-warm cookie. He holds back a moan, not up for the others teasing, but it truly is the best cookie he has ever eaten.

"It was the woman from the school fire, the one that approached you in the end," Sarah tells him, her hand reaches for a new cookie.

Harry frowns; she was here and missed her. No one thought to call him to come out.

If he is honest, he hasn't been able to get her off his mind. Two short interactions, and it is as if she has put him under a spell. He lets out a low chuckle at the thought.

He always tells others he has no time for a relationship, but the truth is he hopes for love. He just doesn't want it to be one night of passion. He wants endless nights, where it ends cuddling with the same person with constant whispers of I love you.

He's a hopeless romantic.

Harry would happily marry this woman. Although trouble does seem to follow her.

It might not be something he needs in life, especially in his line of work.

Golden's.

A safe haven.

A place that feels like home, where firefighters, paramedics, and doctors come for a drink and a good time. The perfect place to come drink away your sorrows with a shoulder to cry on in every corner—the ideal place to celebrate significant accomplishments with the friends that have slowly become your family.

Esme, a paramedic, and Jorge, a firefighter work at Firehouse 19 with Harry; they are the ones who opened up Golden's three years ago. Esme wanted a place to make creative drinks, and Jorge, well, he loved crunching numbers in his spare time, leading to this bar's birth.

Hanging on the walls are pictures of all their family and friends. Harry is proud to be displayed on the wall multiple times, and he loves each photo taken. His favorite being one that is hung right under what he calls his table. It's a photo of all of Firehouse 19 after he was made Lieutenant. Everyone in their uniforms dressed to the nines. Chief Rivera had the biggest smile on his face, as did Harry. Everyone around him had cheered for him, and they then all headed to Golden's for a celebration where his mother and sister were among his firehouse family. That picture always brings a smile to his face.

Harry sits there at his table with Mitch, his best friend, who he met entering the academy from the moment Harry said hello, and Mitch grunted in return he hasn't been able to shake Harry off, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

Harry has been told he has a lively personality, always conversing with those around him; Mitch was mellow, a wallflower. Mitch came to life around Sarah; Harry joked how he had heart eyes around her. Sarah is a force to be reckoned with. The kindest smile but the highest walls, she dropped them down without a second thought for Mitch, seeing as he was the one to make conversation with her when she was transferred from Station 25. Harry admires her strength and quick thinking. She had a dream of being a doctor but is happy as a paramedic for the time being.

The fourth seat at their table always remains empty, open to anyone wanting to sit down for a conversation, but never permanent. Harry knows as well as Mitch that it's being saved. Saved for that certain someone to walk into his life.

He's left wondering if he's finally met her.

Harry spots Esme free and gets up from his table to sit at the bar asking for two beers knowing Mitch will join him. He doesn't try to start a conversation, thoroughly enjoying the buzz of conversation around him and the comfort of Mitch next to him.

It's been three days since the high school fire and two days since the cookies, and all he can think about is Y/N. If he had to guess she was a teacher, he forgot to ask too focused on the fire yet too stunned to ask her why she was there. She had been quick to have everyone checked for and was most relieved when he confirmed everyone was counted for.

Harry was sure he'd never see her again, that she'd cross his path, and that was it. No, instead, he sees her less than a week later, but he made no move to ask her out even though he knows she's interested. At least it seems like she was. She didn't have to approach him that second time or send him his own box of cookies. If he were to meet her now, he wouldn't think twice about asking her out but meeting her out while on the job, he wouldn't let her be a distraction.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" Mitch says, interrupting his internal debate.

Harry takes a drink of his beer. "Nothing." He sighs. "At least I think it's nothing."

"That woman from the high school fire." Mitch states.

Harry chuckles; nothing gets past him. "Yeah, don't know why. She seems to invade my thoughts, and all I know is her name and that accidents happen around her."

"Maybe she's a firebug," Mitch suggests.

"She's not an arsonist." Harry nudges Mitch. "Don't joke about that. Her aura's too bright. You saw how she was with the students and teachers."

Mitch laughs. "Aura, what are you talking about?"

"Oii, leave me alone. I told you I got into meditating and have been doing lots of reading. Gem sent me this book about seeing and feeling it. Your aura gets brighter around Sarah."

Mitch's cheeks go red about to respond when his phone rings. "Speaking of." Harry sips his beer as Mitch takes his phone out.

"I'm taking this outside; she's checking in for the night. Letting me know she's alright." Mitch says, finishing off his beer. Sarah was out visiting family for the weekend, and Mitch couldn't join, so Harry was more than happy to keep him company.

Harry raises his hands defensively. "I didn't say anything."

His eyes follow Mitch outside, watching him hold the door open, phone to his ear when he sees her walk in. She's dressed in skin-tight jeans, hugging her hips nicely. A white silk top and completing the look is a black leather jacket. Harry shits in his seat, she looks fantastic, but he might need a shot or two to get the courage to go over to her.

Harry downs the two tequila shots Jorge placed in front of him, turning to look back at her when he sees two guys with her. It seems they know her well, standing so close to her. One has a hand on her back, and Harry's confidence deflates.

She's got a boyfriend, of course, she does.

The men are good looking Harry hates to admit, he knows he's attractive, but those two might give him a run for his money. They tower over her, like guards protecting a queen. She walks forward, both men trailing behind. She does a quick scan of the room as she approaches the bar, and smirk forms on her face as her eyes meet him for a brief second.

His view is quickly blocked when a female embraces her in a hug. She pulls back, and Harry is surprised to see that the friend is Frankie.

Frankie is the candidate he welcomed onto his truck six months ago. Frankie is remarkable, goes after what she wants, and gets along well with everyone. Chief Rivera was impressed from the start, and that's hard to do.

Harry sits there watching, wondering which one could be her boyfriend. The blonde has a good chance he has his arm thrown over her shoulder casually, but she doesn't lean into him. That makes him smile. Brings back the small confidence he has left. The group laughs at something the redhead said, and she reaches up to kiss the redhead's cheek so it could be him. Harry wants them to come this way and have Frankie introduce them, but they stay far enough where he can't hear their conversation, only her sweet laugh. He looks away but turns once more when he sees movement in the corner of his eye. It's Frankie wrapping her arms around redhead's neck and kissing him on the lips. The blonde has his eyes on someone across the bar, and just like that, Harry can breathe again. Y/N lifts her gaze and catches him staring; she sends him a sly wink before whispering something in Frankie's ear.

No boyfriend. That's good; it means Harry might have a shot after all.

He hears Frankie pass behind him, meaning she also passed by. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He startles when he hears a voice next to him order an old-fashioned. He knows it's her.

"Hey there, Lieutenant" She's leaning against the bar smiling at him. "Frankie was telling me you've never had a woman as a candidate." She says, taking a step forward into his space. Frankie comes behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "She acts all tough, but between you and me, it's all an act." She raises her drink to take a sip. "Just like you."

"Sorry about her Harry, we don't take her out enough to know how to act around others." Frankie jokes as she walks off with her three beers.

"Ouch." Y/N laughs as she watches Frankie walk away from them.

"You're very forward, firebug." Harry comments

She shrugs. "So I've been told." Y/N pauses acknowledging the nickname. "Did you call me an arsonist?"

Harry's eyes go wide. How does she know the term? "No, of course not. I know you didn't start those fires, but two run-ins around a fire the nickname is kind of perfect."

It really is. Harry hopes she agrees.

"Alright, Styles, I'll accept the term of endearment. As long as I'm the only one."

"Wouldn't want anyone else," Harry answers truthfully.

She looks him up and down clearly, not hiding she's checking him out. Harry feels confident in his outfit for the evening. He's wearing a vintage 'Enjoy Health, Eat Your Honey' shirt tucked into black flared corduroy jeans. Her gaze stays on his forearms, admiring the tattoos. Her gaze lingers on the mermaid as if she wants to raise her finger and trace around it.

"So, you've been hiding all that under roughly 45 pounds of gear give or take the weight of items." She tuts, shaking her head. "What a shame."

"Not like I can do my job without the gear, makes running into a burning building easier."

"I suppose." Y/N smirks, a glimmer in her eye. "How fast do you have to put on the gear?"

He narrows his eyes at her, not knowing where she's going with this. "Under two minutes. Gets faster as time goes by." He answers cautiously.

"Pretty sure, I could undress you in less than that. Leave you in your boxers, or do you prefer briefs." She takes a sip of her whiskey. "Maybe you don't like using it, heard they could be constricting."

Harry can't help the blush that takes over his cheeks; he's never met someone so forward. He wants to get to know her, and by the looks of it, she feels the same way.

They stare at each other for a few seconds taking in the other's face. Harry notices the smallest detail, like the small scar close to her eyebrow. He catches the peaking of a tattoo from under her jacket. He's really intrigued now.

"It's Harry." He says, bringing his hand out to shake, knowing he's never appropriately introduced himself like she has.

She grabs it and leans in close. "Personally, I like Lieutenant." He shifts slowly, but then she gestures down without breaking eye contact. "Think you do as well."

She finishes her drink and sets it back down. She places a twenty on the counter to cover the cost of her drink and his. "I'll see you around, Lieutenant Harry."

She's out of sight in the next few seconds.

He wants her, more than for just a night. Harry wants to be the reason she laughs, the reason she smiles but most importantly, the one she gets to love. He has it bad. He's never met someone so forward and direct with their flirting; he really loved the attention.

Now that he knows Frankie has a connection to her, Harry knows he'll see her soon. Who knows when that is. He'll be counting the seconds until then.

Mitch walks in and sits next to Harry, pocketing his phone. "Miss anything interesting?"

Harry throws his head back and groans. "You have no idea."

Friday's are never the same. Harry feels like he can never prepare for these days. They had just gotten back from a call; it was a kitchen stove fire gone wrong. It was an in and out; a fire extinguisher was really all they needed. The family was very thankful. He was just glad they were smart enough to turn the stove off.

Harry had just grabbed a seat when the alarm began to ring. He knows everyone is holding back a groan, but it's their job. Sometimes there are either too many breaks or not enough.

"Pin in accident, Columbus Drive Bridge."

Harry is quick to dress, finishing first. He taps the side of the truck, "Let's go, let's go!" Everyone picks up the speed, and they are out in seconds. Wilson is not light on the honking, knowing an accident on the bridge is never good.

"Alright, candidate, remember to walk with a purpose, don't run." Harry begins.

Frankie nods. "Access the details before you act." She finishes off for him.

"Good."

The police are on the scene keeping back the curious group of people that have gathered. Harry shakes his head. All people love having a front-row view of accidents.

The accident looks bad, two cars: one car seems abandoned, a door left wide open. It seems to him that was who caused the accident, good things the police can run their plates. In the second car, the passenger seat door is jammed, there is glass everywhere. There is one person in the driver's seat, a blanket over them.

Harry approaches the vehicle seeing Wilson already assessing the passenger and how best to take them out.

"Female, mid 20's," Wilson calls out.

Harry sees her door is jammed in. "We need to pry open her door before getting her out. The hit was all on the passenger side, but please be careful we don't know her injuries."

Lincoln gets to work, Harry stands to the side, waiting to cut the driver's belt and out of the car.

"She had a blanket over her. The glass missed her face, but one got her abdomen. She's a funny one, taking the pain like a champ. She said she's a nurse so knows it didn't hit an organ." Sarah tells him, as she spoke to her from the back window wanting to best prepare for when they get her on the stretcher.

"Ma'am, how you doing? We are doing our best to get you out." Harry tells her, seeing the door being removed, quickly moving in to remove her seatbelt, which saved her life.

"Thought we were on a first-name basis, Lieutenant." She speaks quietly, voice trembly.

He steps back in shock, seeing her remove the blanket from her face. Her face clean of injury, Stevie Nicks' shirt red and ripped. She's hurt and laughing, but he feels like his heart wants to jump out of his throat.

It's Y/N.

There's blood, and she's injured, but she's okay.

She's fine.

She's alive.

He never wants to see her like this again.

"Took years to find this exact shirt. Got it for a steal at $10." She groans jokingly. "Do you have a remedy to wash out blood?"

"In fact, I do; how about I help you with it once you get these stitches?" Harry tells her, hoping to keep the conversation going, keeps her calm as it is doing for him.

"Asking me on a date on the job. Not very professional." She teases him.

"How do I know you didn't cause this accident just to see me?" He banters back.

He has her in his arms, taking her out slowly. She has very few injuries; he's carrying her to the stretcher when he hears her cries.

"It wasn't my fault you have to know." She cries out. "It was green, it really was, I promise. There are traffic cameras here, so check. I waited a few seconds then went and next thing I know I have the blanket over me. I've got quick reflects." She smiles slightly at the thought. "A nice lady told me help was on the way." Harry wipes her tears away. "I was on my way to the grocery store. Annie, my neighbor, wanted brownies, and I told her I would run to the store to get the items. She's going to be so upset."

"Not your fault, I believe you. Everyone here does." His heart is breaking. She doesn't deserve to feel this, especially when the other driver got away scratch-free, it seems.

"I'm the safest driver out there. I've never gotten a ticket, not even a parking one. When I took my driving test, I passed with zero errors. They said it hasn't happened in years." She groans as they load her into the ambulance.

"I believe you. Your insurance must love you." He comments, getting a small laugh out of her.

"Tell Frankie to send me flowers. I don't like coming home to no flowers."

Esme slams the door shut, and off they go.

He knows Frankie saw and heard; he knows Chief is with her. As good as one is doing their job, once family is involved, it's quick to lose one's focus. Harry knows he has to check on her once they are back at the station. He's going to encourage her to see her friend, not having to worry about the end of the shift because when it comes to family, that is their priority.

Harry knows Mitch is watching him like a hawk, waiting for him to give him any kind of sign he's not okay, but he knows better. He's not allowed to break down in front of his crew. Not something he lets himself do.

Instead, he does what he knows best. He gives orders.

"Pack up back to the station."

Just like that, they begin to load up the truck, everything in their rightful place, but all he can think about is Y/N and if she truly is going to be okay.

Harry is pacing outside her door.

Yes, he got her address. He had to know how she was doing. Frankie was kind enough to give it to him, not without a few warnings. As in if he did anything to upset her, she knew how to handle a halligan. Harry dares not to cross her. He, after all, has only honorable intentions for Y/N.

He takes a deep breath before raising his hand and knocking three times. He quickly takes a step back, not wanting to be too close when she opens the door if she opens the door.

It swings open, and there she stands in an oversized t-shirt and grey joggers. "I have been wondering when you would show." She grins at him.

Harry's eyes widened. "You knew I was coming?"

She nods. "Of course, Frankie had to make sure it was okay to give my address to a man I've only had one proper conversation with."

"It was two, really." Harry jokes.

"Two then." She smiles down at her feet, starting to feel bashful under his watchful gaze. That is when her eyes catch sight of the gift in his hands.

"You brought me flowers." She exclaims, reaching for the pink peonies, and he quickly extends his hand for her to take them.

"Wasn't sure your favorite. These reminded me of you and how beautiful you are." He shares, feeling his cheeks heat up, running a hand on the back of his neck, wanting her to say something and save himself from embarrassment.

"Thank you." She sniffs them. "I've always loved peonies, don't think I've ever been gifted them before." She moves to the side and gestures him to come in.

"Would you like something to drink? I would have offered you food, but I didn't cook tonight; Frankie dropped off Chinese for one." She gives him a small smile to make up for it.

"It's no problem; after the day you had, my well being is not of your concern," Harry tells her, happy to accept the water she handed him.

"See, you're wrong, Styles." Harry frowns, meeting her eyes as she continues on. "You have a dangerous job, so I feel I do have a right to worry about you."

"Fair enough."

Harry sips his water, and she does the same. He assumes she's trying to collect her thoughts. That is what he's trying to do.

He loses his train of thought as he begins to take in the yellow-painted cabinets; the hue holds a softness that allows them to stretch from floor to ceiling without feeling overwhelming. Brown granite countertops and hardwood floors temper the yellow; the bronze hardware marries the two colors. He's never felt so calm and safe in a kitchen.

Back to his thinking, a good reason to tell her why he came to visit her because indeed she'll have to ask.

It could be his crush on her, a growing infatuation. At this point, it might be like already.

One goal before he leaves her house is well-- to have asked her on a date.

Harry's train of thought is broken as she begins to speak.

"I want to apologize for breaking down in your arms. That wasn't right of me."

Harry scoots closer, placing a ringed hand on top of hers, resting on the counter; this causes her to look up at him. "Hey firebug, no need to apologize. It was a tough situation. The crew said you handled it really well." He smiles and gives her hand a squeeze. "I'm happy you're okay."

She nods and lets his words hang in the air for a minute. "I made brownies, and Annie helped me. She did the heavy lifting today. Do you want some?"

Harry knows she changed topics because she felt overwhelmed, and he was happy to follow her lead. "I'd love to try these brownies. If they were as good as your cookies, then I might just eat them all."

A huge grin takes over her face at his confession; he accomplished exactly what he was looking for.

"You loved the cookies?" She asks.

"Loved honestly might have shed a tear when I ate the last one. Your cookies are what I assume they give to eat in heaven." He jokes but very much meaning each word.

"Thank you, I'll be sure to take more down to the station soon." Y/N blushes looking away from Harry's piercing gaze.

"You know, I didn't even ask you how you're doing." Harry laughs, forgetting the reason he came over.

She laughs with him. "I did as well; if you'd ask me, it feels like a regular date night."

Y/N doesn't blush at her words, but Harry sure does. "Date night, huh." She nods. "I'd be up for more nights like this."

"Good to know."

They stare at each other for a few seconds taking in each other's smile and how easy it is together.

"Back to your original question, I'm doing good. Only needed five stitches and should heal up nicely." She puts her hand over her injury as if remembering the pain.

"Well, I'm glad you're well. I'm a phone call away if you ever need anything."

She all but glows at his words. "I'll keep that in mind."

After a while, Harry helps her move over to the couch, wanting her to be comfortable. He fixes her pillows a few times, wanting her to not feel any kind of pain. Y/N just basks in the attention; it's not everyday she has a firefighter fawning over her.

Time with Y/N seems to fly by because the next time his eyes catch sight of the time, it's nearing nine pm. He can tell she's knackered, but he and neither she sees an end in their conversation. It just flows so easy and who are they to try to stop it.

Harry is learning about why she moved to the city and how she has an interview next week for the pediatrics department at Med. Also, she was at the school because she volunteers weekly; Miss Lucy is a teacher Y/N went to uni with and likes doing fun activities with the nine-year-old.

Harry truly doesn't understand how she has so much to give to others, but he's glad to be receiving some of it as well. He hopes to give her back half of what she gives to others.

"I've always seemed to find myself in trouble. Never the cause of it, but it's always around. I always thought it was me, and it seems to be true." Y/N shares with him. She has struggled with growing up; she may have many friends, but she doesn't stay in a place long enough to make herself feel at home, but so far, it has been different.

Harry sees how much her words hurt to say. He leans over and grabs her hand. He squeezes it tightly before intertwining their fingers together. He really loves holding her hand, and he hopes she continues to allow him to do so.

"Where angels go, trouble follows." Harry breathes out, never breaking eye contact with her. It takes every fiber in his body not to reach over and plant his lips on hers. He so badly wants her to believe his words because he knows he does.

She truly is an angel from above, and he is lucky enough to be welcomed into her life.

Y/N feels her cheeks heat up but never breaks eye contact with Harry.

They fall silent, basking in what seems to be their final moments together for the night.

"I should really get going, poppet. Got to let you get your rest." She nods and lets him help her up so she can walk him to the door.

"Do you believe in faith?" She asks as they stand outside the door.

He shrugs. "I never believed in all of that stuff, but in a matter of a few weeks, I've run into you four times, and I wouldn't leave that up to luck. I thank whatever brought us together and that they'll keep us together."

"I like that a lot."

He kisses her cheek softly. "As soon as those stitches are out, will you let me take you out on a date?"

"I'd prefer something sooner, but I can wait." She teases.

Harry nods; he feels like he does a lot of blushing around her. He really enjoys how she makes him feel.

"I'll check in tomorrow." He promises.

"Just so you know, if I need anything, I won't be calling for firehouse 51." He stops. "I'll be calling this guy that has a thing for me that runs into burning buildings for a living."

"Any time of the day, I promise I'll answer the call, poppet."

He had just put his seatbelt on when his phone began to ring. Harry picks it up, never breaking eye contact with her.

"Lieutenant, I need some help. See, I was in an accident today, and I know it might seem a little strange, maybe a bit forward." She bits her lip, not yet breaking the intense eye contact. "I could really use a cuddle to feel better. Do you know anyone that can help out with that?"

Harry shakes his head at her but nonetheless shoots her a dimpled smile. He jumps out of his car and strolls up to her—phone in hand, beautiful smile on her face.

"I would be honored." He leans in and connects his lips to her cheek; he lets it linger for a few seconds before pulling away. "Now, let's get you in bed. I heard from a little birdie you don't kiss before a first date, so the sooner you heal, the better."

Y/N lets out a small groan at Frankie. "Maybe I can make an exception."

Harry doesn't hide the surprise on his face at her words. "You certainly will make life more interesting."

She giggles as she leads him to her room, Harry following closely behind.

Harry knows they were meant to walk into each other's life. The feelings he is starting to feel for her something he has never felt before.

Call him cliche, but a never-ending spark has been ignited.

thank you so much for reading! i love you

come chat trouble follows with me

taglist: @bigspoonstyles @taintedwonder @sunflowersupremacy

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buckhole · 3 years ago

Text

Born to Be My Baby

— Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

— Born to Be My Baby: Where no man gets left behind includes an old secondhand — thirdhand? — couch that your friend gave you. And you’d be damned if you didn’t try everything. It was time to go recruiting.

— About: Soulmate AU! Born to Be My Baby like Bon Jovi bc I love him. 3700+ words, so not too short, not too long :)

— Notes: Inspired by a tiktok I saw on Instagram. Maybe tiktok isn’t so bad. Also, pls enjoy. This is the first thing I’ve published that isn’t just an edited version of a really old piece, hope you like it! It’s been in my drafts for a hot minute now, I only published because I don’t have anything to lose and who cares.

— Masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━━━

There was absolutely no way on God’s green earth that you were going be able to move your behemoth of a couch.

You eyed your couch with a level of scorn you never thought you could reach. You stood in the middle of your minuscule living room in the corner of your even smaller studio apartment. There was even one point during your long contemplation where you genuinely thought to attempt to push.

But. No dice. Not going to happen.

You already threw your back out once, when you were sixteen after trying to steal your parents’ television from their room and into yours. You paid for that attempted burglary for almost two weeks in absolute agony. Absolutely hell no.

And though you’ve technically had over three months to plan and prepare for moving day, in your defence, you had three whole months. That meant plenty of time. It was only to the other side of campus. Barely even a move.

Barely even a move and plenty of time for someone who wasn’t one week away from D-Day with no possible way of getting it done. Because as it turns out, three whole months wasn’t actually all that much time for someone who was you.

Then out of nowhere you were one week away from H-Hour with no way of getting your things from point A to point B, and even further away from figuring it out than where you were twenty minutes ago when your phone dinged with your urgent, top priority alert.

Now would have been a really great time to have already met your predestined.

Teamwork makes the dream work, or what say you.

You continued to tap your foot on the floor while you absentmindedly chewed on the straw of your drink. The plastic tube flicked loudly on your teeth, really quite obnoxiously, as you blinked at your couch.

You couldn’t exactly leave it, either. Could not and would not. Leaving it behind for someone else who wasn’t you just wasn’t an option.

You and that couch had seen hellfire together. Seen the best and the worst of one another. Been in and out of Satan’s asshole and made it out alive together. Even fought through endless battles between sleeping and schooling, and studying and procrastinating together.

Whatever the cost, that couch was coming with you. By any means necessary.

It also didn’t help that it was given to you by your absolute angel of a best friend from University. The first friend you’d ever made in the country since moving halfway across the world for your studies.

No, no one else was getting that couch apart from you. While realistically it was probably worth less than ten dollars on Craigslist, emotionally, that couch was worth approximately seven hundred million dollars to you.

Your friend got it secondhand from her grandma. So. Thirdhand?— For you? Either way it was yours now and as long as you had a say in it, it was staying that way. The big ugly secondhand couch had been your only constant companion since day one, and no man gets left behind.

But now all you could do was curse whoever those words belonged to written on your skin up and down, sideways and diagonally. So much so that if your grandmother could hear what you were thinking she’d probably start rolling in her grave.

You were now this close to registering your words into Tony Stark’s algorithm, but it seemed every time you thought to do it, finger on the trigger — or the enter key — you found that you could never bring yourself to take the step.

You just ruled it as a part of a conspiracy theory that you were just really invested in, as well as irrational paranoia.

Maybe instinct, maybe not, but you knew you couldn’t do it. And it definitely couldn’t have been borne out of some ridiculous notion to meet your predestined organically, or whatever other hunk of shit people had been saying on the internet lately. Instead it came from somewhere deeper within your bones.

And you aren’t one to question your bones.

You didn’t have it in you and no one had that kind of energy.

Sometimes you really did feel like somebody’s grandmother.

It was probably really stupid. Maybe a little careless, perhaps selfish and nonchalant. But you didn’t like to question your bone marrow and whatever it tries to tell you. You really only keep going through life without a worry in the world outside of your uni classes, as well as what possible discounts you could get for food delivery.

Maybe it was because your words had always seemed so definite. So sure. Seemingly so certain. Destiny bound and unyielding and immovable. Like a mountain.

It was definitely a naive thing to believe. You knew that well enough. You and everyone else in the world had heard of soulmates bound by destiny, two souls destined to intertwine, but only for the universe to choose for them a life without their second.

Two halves of a whole, or two whole souls; counterparts; perfectly and impossibly identical, or equal, to form an irrefutable balance in the universe like destiny designed.

But they did exist. Rare as they came, they existed and they were well known tragedies, and the world dreaded the possibility of being bound for a life without their designed— that, who they were born for, and that, who was born for them, unlinked and apart for eternity.

Your words have seemed safe enough and that was all you needed. Fingers cross that you were one of the lucky ones. One of the ones who’d likely be spending the rest of your life with whoever destiny had made you for, and had been made for you.

Because you were born with your words. They were born whole, and you were born as a match.

Hopefully you’d be with them until you were old and grey, and gross to the touch. Until you were slobbery and forgetful, with a gigantic family to watch you wither away as they surrounded your death bed. With saggy skin that made you look like you were melting right before their very eyes.

And grandma’s couch would be sitting right outside your bedroom in front of the fireplace, in your big, huge, old people house.

Hopefully melting away with your destiny. Talking together the way old people do that made each word sound twice as long, making your future grandchildren wince painfully.

Because soulmates usually began as promises to children.

And like everything else concerning children, a promise to a child was always a powerful and grave thing. A marvel to the universe with no reason why or how, only that love always came to children unconditionally and without reason, and that was that.

Those born with predestined soulmates had always loved more than those who felt the arrival of their second half, or identical soul, later on in life.

Your parents hadn’t been soulmates but they loved each other nonetheless. Almost unspeakably much. The kind of love that seemed impossible to understand.

They taught you and your siblings to cherish and love idea of soulmates. That soulmates were beautiful things and something to believe in, and to love them with everything you had.

Destiny handpicked you out of everyone else in the whole universe for another. As another soul’s counterpart, and they were yours in return.

Your parents had met their soulmates. Now they were both gone. Had been long since before you were even a thought.

Therefore they, you, and all your parents’ children were raised to treasure the idea of your souls intertwining with another. Likely by a tenfold. And you loved yours. Your designed and predestined.

Even if you were only set to meet them for a brief moment. To hold their hand for a little while and tell them you were there. That you had witnessed them and they had been seen, and that they had been loved. Had been and would always be.

Even if your destiny was to witness one another in a single painful and beautiful moment.

But you hoped, you hoped, that you would have yours forever.

You really did think you would.

And even if you were part of the tragic few who’d meet yours for one split second, or maybe even not at all, destiny had already chosen forever and so forever it’d always be.

You could only wish to tell yours in person. That you really loved them and that was that.

Though you really did believe you and yours were safe. At least, you were pretty sure. But that wasn’t for you to question or mull over.

Unlike your stupid couch.

And waiting was always the worst part. i.e. Now, when you could really use the help.

Destiny was a tease and life as a grown up sucked.

Now you were expected to get up and do stuff on your own, as if you hadn’t been seen and treated like a kid only a few years ago.

You’d never even been sick without your mom before, let alone been expected to move your entire life from one apartment to another without any adult supervision and help.

Your dad had flown out with you during your first move. He’d moved everything for you.

You even pretended to help more than that for a while before eventually giving up and sitting by the kitchen to watch and dictate, and he didn’t even bat an eye.

You watched him sweat, huff and puff as he set your apartment up on the first week without a single complaint or asked for you help. Maybe you moved a rug here and there so he wouldn’t trip, but that was all.

He just ruffled your hair at the end and kissed your forehead then moved onto the next task. He was as old as the parents of your generation got but he was determined to see you through. You didn’t much complain, either.

And you were no Bezos or Musk who could afford to fly your father out halfway across the world for a week in the states just to help you move. If you could, you’d just hire movers.

But sadly enough, you were a poor and struggling uni student who procrastinated for three months before finally doing something about it.

But it was time to up the ante.

You were pulling out the big guns.

You took your drink with you when you turned on your heels and slipped your feet into your shoes by the door, one foot at a time. You were already in socks because apparently New York was barbarously cold during this time of year.

Everything was flipped and done wrong on this side of the world.

You snatched your keys off an old dish you stole from your parents’ house before your first big move and left the apartment. You didn’t even think twice about dipping into your savings for an Uber because no way were you walking in this weather.

It was less than a five minute drive. The wait for the Uber lasted longer than the trip itself but you waited in the comfort of your apartment building. Behind all that clear glass that had kept warm and sheltered from the rest of New York.

Any other time during the year and you probably would’ve walked it. You enjoyed walking.

You said a quick goodbye to your driver and smiled painfully when you accidentally caught his eye after stupidly looking back out into the street. You cringed at yourself as you pushed through the entrance of the gym nearest your apartment.

You probably could’ve just gone to your campus gym had you not accidentally insulted your friend’s boyfriends’ group of friends once.

You didn’t even remember what you said. Maybe something about needing more muscle than brainpower in the University, but who knew. Not once had you ever stepped a foot into an establishment like this.

But. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

You smiled pleasantly at the receptionists by the desk. A nice guy and a nice girl, both with ginormous balls going up and down their arms like a fat suit but only muscles. Nice.

The gym had been humble and surprising quiet. Not knowing what to expect, you definitely thought there’d be a lot more grunting and shouting.

It was definitely well used gym, even as a hole in the wall type business. Smelling of nylon, leather and polyester, and a whole lot of metal.

It was warm enough that you pushed your uni sweatshirt’s sleeves up to your elbows after a hot minute of collecting yourself from the sudden change in temperature.

You were wearing the one properly your size. Not the one three sizes larger after spilling your take out all over yourself a few days ago, where the sleeves probably couldn’t hold up around your elbows if you used a belt around each arm.

You filled out a quick form about their terms and conditions and contact information and yada yada. The first month was free, the next three months at fifty percent off. Then ten percent off from there on out for students in college.

You were almost contemplating on keeping the membership out of principle alone because of how cheap the place was, but you weren’t fooling anyone.

The second you had your back to the reception desk, you’d already pulled your phone out of your back pocket. You set a quick reminder on your phone to terminate your membership via online as soon as you got back at your apartment.

Definitely not dressed for a grinding gym sesh and definitely not drinking a protein shake, you cringed when the plastic in your hand began making loud slurping noises when you reached the bottom of your drink.

You continued to chew your straw anyway.

Having looked around the room, thankfully there hadn’t been many people in the gym. No one looking at you weirdly or eyeing your comfortable lounge clothes while you stood stockstill.

Also not thankfully, less people meant less to chose from. Being a weekday morning and a few hours shy from lunch time, the place was as close to empty as an open gym could be in New York.

You scoped the room tentatively. There was a large boxing ring in the middle of the gym that took up almost half the space. The sparse patrons were surrounding the sidelines as they went about their business.

A handful of women were lifting weights that you couldn’t even dream of doing, or jumping rope at a pace you knew you could never complete with. You eyed each of them with healthy, non toxic jealousy. Especially the ones who worked the boxing bags.

You couldn’t punch someone’s shoulder as a joke without hurting your own hand. You shook your head and continued to look for the biggest person there.

Then, almost like destiny, a strong body walked out from behind closed doors. Closed doors that you hadn’t even noticed in the first place on the other side of the gym.

Built like a brick shit house with a black boxing bag on each shoulder, you eyeballed the guy — man? — with uncertainty. While boxing bags were no grandma’s couch, you’d bet your entire savings account that he’d be able to do a whole lot more damage than you ever could on a moving day.

And you had a lot more heavy boxes to think about than just a single couch.

You chewed your straw some more. You took a deep breath, cringing in pain when you accidentally hit the edge of the fat straw against your gums. You lowered your empty drink entirely as you continued to suspiciously eye him.

You hoped he was nice. And the guy was at the gym on a Tuesday morning, clearly he had free some time on his hands. What’s an hour on a Wednesday? Maybe two hours.

Okay, three hours. Max.

You hope. Probably.

Both the bags had covered his face so you couldn’t tell if he looked like a friendly or not, but judging by the gym, you expected to have plenty enough witnesses if he decided to turn around and punch you in the face for disturbing his personal bubble.

You really hope he wouldn’t. You’ve never been punched in the face before. You looked behind you with uncertainty, almost looking back for some encouragement.

Thankfully the girl at the desk looked at when you turned back. She nodded at you, almost as if she knew exactly what you thinking. Probably not. Probably just thought you were a rookie at the gym, all shy and stuff.

What did you have to lose. When the guy turned his back to you, you decided to go for it while he was off guard.

Mentally listing the moving companies your friend had texted you two months ago, you hesitantly made your way over, stopping for a split second before you tapped him on the shoulder.

You itched your nose really quickly before he could turn around and see you.

“Hi,” you said, quietly as to not disturb others. You suddenly wondered if he could even hear you. “You look really strong. Would you be able help me move my things into my new apartment next week?”

You watched his back pause. Then he set the boxing bags down slowly while you were trying really hard not to look at his butt.

You blinked as you pulled at the material of your pants. “I don’t have much money but I can buy you pizza and really cheap beer.”

After a painfully slow minute, the guy slowly turned his broad shoulders — really broad — and imposing body around to meet yours. Blue eyes looked down at you and you frowned almost immediately.

You blinked. Then you blinked again. Once. Twice. Three times. Your eyes scanned their face at least twice more before you could even process who you were looking at. No. No? No.

You did not just ask Captain America to help you move your couch.

He was almost unbearably golden. And handsome, and twice as beautiful as the news or Twitter could ever hope to capture. You wondered if Twitter even knew just how pretty he was in person, or why nobody talked about it nearly as much as they should. Woah. So beautiful.

And twice as amused and humoured. His face was twisted into disbelief and amused apprehension. The silence only lingered as he eyed you in consternation, almost huffing out, dry and a little humourless.

Captain America.

Eventually, he eased with an easy lilt to his lips. You broke out of your stare that was probably considered more than rude when he shifted. Maybe if you pretended you were in Jurassic Park and stayed eerily still, he’d eventually just walk away.

His blue eyes that were just so damn blue were only looking at you, and without watching his voice like you had so graciously done, his volume made you wince. “Sure, sweetheart.” As if he had nothing better to do.

You frowned again standing eerily still on your feet. Full to the brim with sugary drinks.

Then his words registered into your brain. There was definitely a downside to having way too much sugar. Your brain short circuited.

What the fuck.

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.

Your eyes dropped to the words on your arm. Then back up at him.

Holy fuck.

You looked up again, like, really quickly. Too quickly. Way too quickly to count that you couldn't even remember what you saw.

He was definitely still amused.

He stood with a hint of a smirk on the lilt of his lips in front of you, shaking his head once. “Beer and pizza sounds good to me. But how about we start with your name first?” Captain America smiled at you.

He smiled at you. Your soulmate. Smiled at you. His soulmate. Because he was your soulmate and you were his.

So softly and kindly and unfairly patient, with his — very broad — shoulders hunched in as if trying to make himself as small and unimposing as humanly possible

Oh my fucking god, Captain America was your soulmate.

Holy fuck. Captain America.

But how could you be Captain America’s soulmate?Captain America had always been so untouchable to you. Maybe otherworldly, like some god in a Greek mythology or something.

Like Brad Pitt. But twice, three times over — or ten — no. A thousand million times over, because he was Captain America. The world’s first superhero. No. He wasn’t like Brad Pitt at all. He was more like Mahatma Gandhi.

Or Mother Teresa.

And if Captain America was a god, he’d be Helios. You won argued that once with your friends at uni while you were trying to avoid a particular class, after tripping over your own feet one morning in front of the entire lecture hall.

What the fuck would the god of the sun want with you. Better yet, what would Captain America need a soulmate for in the first place. He was someone who was meant to have his own whole soul. You were just a useless uni student who could barely even function.

Holy fuck, he was so beautiful and oh my fucking god, Captain America was your soulmate.

You slowly watched his saccharine blue eyes fall down to your words. No, not to his words on your left arm. His eyes fell down to the unsaid words written in a familiar scrawl on your other arm. Looking at your other set of words that you’ve had memorised since before you even learned of your own name.

You moved your limb instinctively, revealing your other set of words to Captain America. Whose face you watched relaxed.

Blooming, almost, or softening. Like a flower, born from something like or close to relief. You watched his shoulders ease back, an easy, slanted smile curling just a hint wider on the corners of his mouth. A soft chuckle akin to disbelief left his pretty red lips, with a gentle huff, as he shook his head a little.

Morning, doll. I’m no Captain America but I think I could handle a couple heavy boxes on my own.

Then Captain America reached for your hand — he reached for your hand — on the arm with his words, and brushed his thumb against your knuckles so impossibly delicately.

“You have no idea how long we’ve been waiting for you, honey.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

— Notes: Fucking sike, it’s also Bucky Barnes x Reader because I am who I am. And if you squint really hard there’s actually a hint of Stucky in there bc I’m a true believer of love and destiny. I kind of regret not making it Steve, Bucky and Sam now.

There’s literally five lines of dialogue and I’m kinda cringing at it anxjjsisn, God I hate publishing things it’s so nerve wracking but new account, no followers. Less audience. Less anxiety :))))) and Stucky is my comfort pairing.

— Maria! x

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amazingphilza · 4 years ago

Text

maniac :: cc!tommy x reader

angst (?) , platonic (?) , gender neutral ! ib: conan gray’s maniac

this is satire & note that i write the reader to be a few months younger than tommy (besides that, i think it is fully inclusive !)

synopsis : you put all your hard work towards a useless crush. with no expectation for reciprocated feelings in the first place, it still all ends in a bittersweet slap to reality.

you grew up with minecraft and it was an understatement to say it was part of your childhood

even years later, you still maintained interested in the game

it wasn’t just a simple video game, the community inspired you to do many things

you aspired to be like the creators you watched at a young age like sky, dantdm, cupquake, stampy, and many more

making people happy and entertained was a dream

and when minecraft slowly began trending again in 2019, you started making your own content whenever you felt like it out of fun

you never got much views but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless

but it wasn’t until the first minecraft monday you decided to push a bit more with your hobbies and worked hard to make it somewhere

however balancing your passions with school wasn’t the easiest

given, you were still only around 15 and your content wasn’t even that good

with not much of a goal or plan with your youtube channel, you fell out of interest eventually

you loved minecraft but you always a rocky relationship with it; getting back into it for a few months then pretending it never really existed for another few

besides the occasional videos you watched in your pass time, you didn’t stay that updated

then lockdown happened

it changed everything and even got you regressing back to old interests

soon enough you were back to minecraft

there was so much to catch up on

hermitcraft season 7 just started, there was minecraft championships, and smp earth and smp live, and so much more to look forward to watching

you were a bit late on both of the smps but your interest peaked specially towards smp earth and it didn’t stop you from watching the past videos

you first gravitated towards a certain youtuber’s videos first since you remember stumbling onto his videos before from your recommended page; wilbur soot

besides recognizing him from his you laugh you lose series and making parody-type of songs, you didn’t know much

however with a few clicks, you had binge watched his smp earth series effortlessly

you found yourself falling down the endless hole, finding more creators to watch through wilbur

one in particular caught your eye in an interesting way

tommyinnit

my god, how can someone be so annoying and pushy in these videos? like shut up already

and to find out he was barely months older than you frustrated you

you just wanted to be better in some way

if someone like him could be popular, why can’t you? yelling at others and causing problems didn’t seem that hard

and so you went back to working hard on your previously failed youtube channel but this time with a goal; be better than tommyinnit

it was a weird aspiration in your head but it worked

he was your age and successful, why need a better motivator?

tommy wasn’t the sole reason why you strive to make content since you truly did want to create videos to entertain people like the youtubers you originally grew up watching

and with the amount of free time you had, you thoroughly analyzed his content; what was the most popular, how he streamed, edited his videos, everything

you just completely studied the algorithm in general

along the way, tommy’s personality grew on you

tommy was undoubtedly a very loud and energetic person but you became fond of his ambitions

you understood why he was popular at such a young age; he was a natural entertainer

your spite towards the boy turned into a hope

a hope to be at par with him someday and even be mutuals

and it was like your dreams were suddenly manifested into existence

you gained a large following in the early months of lockdown and even was recognized to be apart of minecraft championships

it felt like yesterday that you were just watching your favorite youtubers livestream the same competition

and now you were situation in a team to play yourself for the first time instead of being a viewer for once

not to mention, with tommyinnit as a teammate

how did you manage to get so lucky?

under the excitement, you felt beyond never nervous waiting in the empty discord call for your team to join you to practice the mini-games

in the middle of gathering your thoughts together, you heard a sound from discord signaling someone joined the call

“uh, hello?”

you heard the familiar british accent you spent hours listening to from countless streams and videos

“h-hi! i’m y/n, how are you?”

you hoped tommy couldn’t hear the strain in your voice due to fighting your nerves, but you quietly celebrated that you didn’t freeze up altogether

“oh i’m good, thank you. and i’m tommy by the way, this is the first time we’re speaking, yeah?”

“yep! it’s nice to meet you”

“yeah, i’ve seen your name around the timeline a few times, you seem cool”

oh my god what?

“thanks! um i actually really enjoy your content not gonna lie”

“oh wow, good shit!”

and the conversation smoothly went on, bouncing back and forth between you two before your other two teammates joined the call

once everyone was situated, you decided to start streaming since it was your first mcc and you wanted a vod of you practicing to look at later on as a memory

your chat immediately noticed how much you were enjoying yourself, especially after all the short stories of talking about who inspired you in the past

the smile plastered on your face never left

after stream and your other teammates went offline, it was you and tommy left in the call once together again

“it was nice talking to you tommy! and the practice was really fun, i cant wait for the actual competition!”

“yeah definitely, we’ll for sure place high”

“hopefully. it’s my first time and i hope i don’t cost us the dub”

“nah, you think so? i mean rt and plumbella are also our team mates so you know, it’s all for fun in the end”

you knew tommy was implying the teamwork wasn’t going to be the best compared to the other teams but at least in the end you’ve both made a new friend

“yeah you’re right!”

“anyway it’s getting late imma hop off”

“okay tommy, talk to you soon?”

“yep!”

“alright byee”

“bye!”

the moment he left the call, you felt a sense of relief before a small wave of sadness took over

you wanted to continue talking to tommy but you knew you had other responsibilities to tend to

for the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking of the call and mcc practice

the funny jokes, singing random songs, screaming for no reason, everything

it even kept you awake until the early morning

you buried your head in a pillow and screamed into it after realization hit

y/n no

no no no no no no no

you tried to recall anything that remotely related your other teammates which you remembered that didn’t include tommy

even if it was a few hours ago, you couldn’t pin point something specific

i must just be forgetful, right?

what the hell did rt and plumbella even say that whole call?

you vividly remembered everything with tommy and it was clear to you why

surely not

with putting a hand on your chest above your heart, you confirmed that you couldn’t lie to yourself based on the rapid speed

you liked tommy for a good while but it hadn’t clicked to you until now

eventually you fell asleep due to exhaustion but that’s to say you didn’t do so without imagining spending more time with tommy

ever since that day, time went by in a flash

your team didn’t do the best in mcc but it had been a while since then to have that as a concern

sadly you and tommy didn’t talk as often as you hoped but that didn’t make you have less feelings for him

on some days you felt bad since you thought you didn’t know enough about him to even be allowed to crush on him

it was a bit unprofessional but you were nearly 16, it’s normal to have these little crushes right?

eventually time came to rescue when tommy asked you if you wanted to accompany him in the dream smp

undoubtedly, you said yes

and for the few months during summer, it was where you two became even closer than before

however, once both of you two had to go back and attend school, it was harder to catch up with each other

even on calls together off stream, the occasional snapchat notification going off irked you in a way you couldn’t explain

only winter break was the small pause on your disappointment

but even then, it was a slow but steady hill of repressed sadness and frustration until early spring of the following year

you had hoped 2021 would be better than last year but after scrolling through twitter one day and seeing stans making rumors about how tommy had a crush on one of his classmates gave you the same pain you felt when school started last fall

you dreaded to look over at tommy’s most recent story time stream vod where all the gossip arose from; it was him stumbling over his words with the mention of a girl during a certain part

jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe the way you felt

you would never go out of your way to make tommy reciprocate the feelings you had for him

and if he liked someone else the way you saw him, you wouldn’t mind

having a crush is ecstatic, and if he has someone like that too, you should be happy

right?

you tried

what finally broke you was seeing a tiktok a few weeks later of tommy in college with eryn and another girl talking

you didn’t know how she looked like or anything but you wanted to sob

good for him

she didn’t even say much in the video and you dont know enough about tommy’s personal life to jump to conclusions like this

you knew you were acting irrational and you couldn’t be upset at tommy for something he couldn’t control

if anything, you never directly showed interest in him

you didn’t want to in the first place

it was a bad idea from the start

you looked back at the past year and all your intentions

what kind of sick fanfiction did you think you were living?

becoming a content creator, hoping to blow up, just to talk to a big youtuber you had a crush on?

oh my god

y/n what is wrong with you?

listen to yourself, y/n

you need to get some help

whether tommy was dating or even just had interest someone was none of your business

you had to move on no matter what it was and be good and supportive friend

it was dreadful to get over a stupid crush like this but after so much work you put in, you gave some sympathy for yourself

in a friend perspective, you were happy with whatever tommy did and was satisfied your friendship together, but you hadn’t realized how much you gambled from the beginning

and just for a crush?

you couldn’t comprehend how far you gone because you fancied someone

it wasn’t like anyone could get famous and become a popular content creator either

and now with you being on the dream smp along with a successful youtube channel at 16? you were grateful something pushed you enough to work this hard

but you’d never forget the fact everything that lead up to this point was a crush on no other than tommyinnit which first spurred from complete spite

“who’s the one better off now?” your thoughts mocked you from the complete irony

sigh

y/n, you maniac

#idk whether to actually call this platonic but it’s not exactly romance so #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit fanfic #tommyinnit imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x you #mcyt fanfic #mcyt imagine

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paimon-rambles · 4 years ago

Text

Alphabet Fluff

Characters: Aether

A gift to my sister cause she never stops thirsting 😒 @katsukiibug

Doing all of them ;-;

Icon credit: Leheia

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Aether is opened to any activities his partner throws at him. He's not very picky.

But he does enjoy some dinner dates and strolls around the city, wheater it is Liyue or Mondstadt. He pays for all meals and snacks with the Mora he got from his travels.

Be warned, however, cause Paimon ain't gonna shut up about the food. Regardless it's comforting, followed by a nice walk through the city basked in moonlight.

Aether also in general likes to travel with you, other than Paimon you're his companion. He likes to take you to the forest to pick berries or other essential resources, beneficial for future endeavors.

Stories from his travels? Aether could ramble about for hours. Describing the little mishaps and mischief he and his sister found themselves in. Though he gets really sad whenever his sister is brought up.....oofles

He's traveled from world to world was introduced to many hobbies and games of variety, he's happy to introduce you to some of them if your willing to try something new out.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Your patience

Aether has a bit of a packed schedule; assisting with commissions and dealing with hilichrul attacks. Not to mention his mind is set on finding the 7 archons in the hope to find his sister. He's incredibly busy most of the times

He doesn't ignore you on purpose, but he's dragged everywhere. Poor guy:(

But he admires that you don't fuss about it and always hold patience. Of course, Aether will find a way to make it up to you eventually. He tends to send small souvenirs from his travels as a form of apology.

Your comfort

He recently lost his sister and is overhwaled by all these tasks placed on his heavy and tired shoulders. He leans on you when he needs that moment of peace or comfort.

He loves that you try to soothe him whenever he's in his worst moments. With your words or simple touches of comfort, he adores it all.

Your eyes

Aether loves to stare into your eyes. He finds them really beautiful and finds himself smiling whenever looking in your eyes.

He's memorized by how they lightly sparkle or glimmer depending on your emotions. Or how they light up whenever you laugh or smile.

He finds it soothing to just lean your foreheads against each other and stare endlessly at your eyes, his worries and concerns being carried away.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He's a brother and understands when his partner is under stress or feeling down. Similar to how he notices the small gestures Lumine has that show her emotions are swirling in her head.

He picks up on the small hints and notices right away the shift in your behavior. You can say you're fine but he ain't falling for it, he's seen the signs.

But Aether does give the space you want. He recognizes its benefits and understands it himself; He's lost his kin, there are times Aether wants to push everyone away.

So patient, he's not pushing you into anything instead he's letting you describe what's bothering you at your pace. You can break down sobbing and he would wait while comfortably drawing stars on your back. He even has his shoulder to cry on if you want, softly running his hand through her hair in comforting motions.

He tries his best to give advice from his own experience. He makes a promise to cheer you later. He's just trying to make you happy again cause he hurting inside if you're not :(

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Aether pictures the future from time to time. Mainly thinking about finding his sibling. He pictures two outcomes the good now and the one he dreads dearly.

Of course, since you are his s/o, you do play role in some of the scenarios he plays on his head.

He wonders what will be of the relationship after he finds his sibling, would they continue to travel worlds as they had done previously?

It was his sister and himself life's work of jumping planet to planet and learning of the different kingdoms and such.

Teyvat is your home, you have all your plans for the future in this world, he couldn't force you to leave.

So he rather hears of your views on the future instead, listening closely as you explain everything you have planned while his heart slowly aches as he debates for his future.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He sees you as his equal. Nothing less or more- though he looks to up you a lot

He doesn't let any status you may hold hinder the relationship, and he wishes the same. He may be a traveler from another world, praised for his achievements, and his reputation in the nation's placed his name high. But Aether doesn't want that to affect his relationship with his lover.

So yee equals =

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He hates fighting :(

Soft boy can't handle arguing with his s/o. It breaks his heart every time. Instantly feels guilty, even if he wasn't in the wrong.

Because of this arguments are incredibly rare. He's not an angry person in general and tends to stay positive most of the time. It will only occur if he's incredibly pent up about a situation. He'd bottle up those emotions before the string being pulled and he snaps.

Easy to forgive, the moment he notices he's angry he's apologizing for lashing out. Poor boy can't handle you being scared, upset, and disappointed with him.

After a fight, he gives you the space needed before checking on you and asking if you're alright. Aether would pull you into a hug, and probably sob depending on how bad the fight was. Cuddles until your both happy again or unless you really don't want to be in his presence at the moment.

If the fight was really bad he gives you some space to think for a bit and try to get it off his head. Afterward, he goes to apologize to you, to where you either sob together or things go back to normal right after

Apologizes repeatedly to you, you could say you've forgiven him but he's gonna continue apologizing for another hour or so.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Incredibly grateful for every little act his s/o does for him. Ever since losing his sister, he's been in a void and his s/o has been the light helping him back to his feet. Cheesy I know-

But he truly appreciates everything you do for him, it always brings a smile to his face whenever his s/o does the most simple little acts that go a long way for him. He acknowledges even the smallest of things

Simple acts such as setting up his stuff before he goes to complete commissions or cooking him some food. It always makes his day better.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Aether tells his partner pretty much everything, he dislikes keeping you in the dark. He would be really upset and heartbroken if he found out his s/o was hiding anything from him

He relies on you a lot, he tells you everything because you always put him at ease.

However, there are a few things that he would hide for a short time. He would tell his partner eventually but needs some time to plan out how to tell them. But those moments are rare and in between.

If he did find out that his s/o was hiding something from him, he'd be so torn :< feels betrayed a in way that you hid something from him.

Of course, he would listen to your reasoning as to why you kept secrets, but he starts to distance himself for a bit.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Aether works harder for you. In other words, he's constantly trying to impress you. He tries to act heroically around you to make you smile and all.

He learned to not always feel so down because of his sister and take time to be happy as well

He for sure helps you overcome any problems or barriers that have been holding you back, taking one step at a time. You work it out together and he's patient with the process

He's always inspired by you, he works harder for you and tries to complete his commissions at a faster rate so he can spend the rest of the day work you.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Can go both ways. On one hand, Aether isn't really one to get jealous, as he has complete trust in his partner but on the other hand, there are times when he gets insecure or jealous over somethings

But for the most part he isn't jealous, there are moments where he's scared to lose you like he lost his sister, to be left alone again :<<

In the moments where he is jealous, he would tell his s/o that he's feeling envious. Getting it off his chest and hoping his S/o would help calm down his worries

If he's feeling really envious, which are incredibly rare, he would avoid you for a bit trying to let his jealousy die away before confronting you

He'd feel really bad if he accidentally made you feel jealous instead. He would remind you that all his love is reserved for you and only you.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Something like that done here

An average kisser, a bit inexperienced when it comes to kissing, you're his first boyfriend/girlfriend but he caught on really fast.

But because of this, your first kiss ended up being really awkward and Aether got incredibly flustered cause he believed he did something wrong

He's still really shy whenever he kisses you, he grows flustered whenever you intimate the kiss.

His kisses are really gentle, pressing his lips against yours softly. Each kiss is filled with emotions, all his love into each one. Very gentle boi

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

A mess

Poor boi is stuttering and fumbling over his words. He a nervous wreck but he's trying his best.

He planned everything out but when the moment came he tripped over his words.

He invites you over for a nice dinner, nothing too fancy and nothing too cheap, just right. He pays for food, slowly bringing the conversation to an idea of a relationship. Of course, he's hella flustered and trying not to show(which he does) it.

Then he kinda blurts out that he has a crush on you and wants to try out a relationship

If you say yes he's gonna have a huge smile on his face for the rest day, it's really adorable TwT

If you say no, however, he freezes in place for a while, the whole thing repeating in his head up to the point where you rejected him. He apologizes and excuses himself. You don't see him for a couple of days, since aether is avoiding you, he's really embarrassed to talk to you. Oh and congratulations you get a nasty nickname from Paimon :D

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He thought about it at least once when your relationship was growing. Similar to dreams, he had different scenarios in this head for the future and how they could play out.

He would like to get married one day, yes, but it isn't something he sees doing anytime soon as his primary goal is to find his sister, afterward however he will look into it more and suggest the idea to his s/o.

In terms of how he proposes, he takes you on a little adventure that highlights some your adventures you had together near the beginning of your friendship, before getting on one knee and popping the question.

Kind of that nostalgic feeling you get as you reminisce on some of the old memories you created together

The both of you plan the ceremony and incorporate your ideas into one. It's gonna be a big wedding though since pretty much all of Mondstadt, Liyue, and other nations that are yet to be explored will be attending.

Of course, if you wish for a smaller wedding, he doesn't mind at all and will plan out something smaller. He personally likes a small wedding too :)

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Aether isn't too keen on nicknames for his s/o but he does have a few. But for the most part, he calls you y/n, especially in public

He calls you sometimes a shorter version of your name. Or a flower that reminds him of you.

Really depends on your personality as well and which flower it associates with, or he might have a silly nickname for you that he called you once and it stuck with him. However, those types of nicknames are used rarely depending on the circumstance.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Blush blush blush blush

He might be a little oblivious to it since your his first, he doesn't realize it until someone cough venti cough points out to him.

He's in denial at first, swirling over his words while his face reveals the truth. He's crushing hard

Aether tries to mask his little crush from you and he does pretty well minus a few moments where he's got off guard, que flustering soft boi

But when he's in love, he has a smile on his whenever speaking to the person that makes his heart skip a beat. It's pretty prominent to others once you notice the behavior shift from someone random to you.

He expresses his love in a little of everything; kisses and little hugs along with serenading you in words or perhaps gifting you something. A little mix of all of them

His favorite way to express his love is to have his hand intertwine with yours. It's simple but it comforts him knowing you're close. He loves it whenever you give him a slight squeeze of reassurance; it never fails to put a smile on his face

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Shy boy gets flustered in private, he gets really flustered showing PDA in public.

Don't get me wrong he loves showering you in affection but he gets easily flushed at the idea of people watching him kiss his s/o or giving them a comforting hug.

His PDA is average, he's open to hand-holding in public because it comforts him without having to do anything too affectionate in the public eye

He doesn't brag either, most people already know the existence of your relationship.

Although for the most part, he's trying to keep it a secret because of the Fatui and the threat it could place on you. You don't want La Signora chasing after you.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

Paimon is usual around Aether meaning that whenever your feeling hungry, Paimon can point out the best places to sit down and have a delicious meal

An expert treasure hunter is in your area, and you're dating him! He knows where to find hints and little clues for treasures and can open any lock or seal. Many fortunes

He has so many stories to tell from his previous travels. It helps you connect more as you listen to him tell you every memory he can remember from the worlds he visited. You never get bored by his stories either.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He's can be really creative in his antic when it comes to making his s/o happy, but he also sticks to some more cliche methods as well

As mentioned previously he's visited many worlds and has seen the various ways people would do to cheer up their partners.

He uses that to his advantage when trying something to get that smile he loves dearly on your face

But the also likes to take some classic routes, little gifts, or acts of affection to make you happy

Perhaps a rose banquet one day and something new and really imaginative the next. He can be a wild card when deciding

One time he jokingly asked Paimon for advice, of course, she suggested having sticky honey roast as a nice evening lunch date. Which he ended up taking you to that afternoon

He's willing to do anything-within reasonable terms- to make his s/o happy. If just point something out or specify on what would make you really happy; chances are he's going to do it for you

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

100% support in you

He wants to see your goals accomplished as well. Just like your helping him find his sister, he helps you achieve your goal

If you allow him, he's willing to put aside some of his commissions to help you plan and get a better roadmap to obtain your goal

Aether helps keep you motivated whenever you're feeling down, reminding you of what you have accomplished so far. Cooking you food or bringing you some water to get your brain flowing again. As well as some encouragement from Paimon, although she tends to over exaggerate most of the time

He is also sure to help you take breaks whenever you're pushing yourself too much. He takes you outside to pick plants or berries, but it's really soothing and distracting

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

It's an adventure every day with Aether

At the beginning of the relationship, he tried to follow a more classical relationship routine. Since he was so new to affection, e mimicked what he saw other couples do thinking it was the correct way to go. But after spending more time with you he strayed away from that, adding his own ideas along with yours

He's constantly traveling the world, meeting archons and other powerful beings. There always a battle to be fought or a harbinger to run from. A lot can happen in one day

And you're his trusty and equal companion, he likes to bring you along through the chaos that is Teyvat

In other words, there is always a thrill in your relationship, plus Aether is always open to trying something new occasionally. Never a dull moment except for that one lazy Sunday where you cuddle all day, but it's really wholesome

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Aether picks up on the little things that signal a behavior shift within you. With these notices he acts quickly to be sure your alright and accesses if he needs to shower you in more affection in order to make you happy >:0

He tries to sympathize with his partner, trying to understand the emotions they're going through. He understands grief and anger, as he had experienced it with the loss of his kin, and knows how to help alleviate his s/o

But he does try his best to help cheer you up regardless of the emotions you are feeling. Paimon is even there to cheer you with her own words

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Aether's relationship with you is something he holds close to his heart. It's incredibly important to him, and he is sure to voice how important you are to him.

His s/o is that last speck of hope and happiness in his life after being filled with pain for so long. He'd be devastated without you

Unfortunately, his sister is his first priority, his family comes close. Lumine is the only kin he has. But your also really important to him, and so he tries to shower you with affection daily

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Your Paimon's close friend, you get to hear her ramble about food- a lot. But she's also really supportive of your relationship, she's noticed how much happier Aether had become since then.

Aether likes it whenever you braid his hair. Finding it soothing as your fingers gently comb through his golden locks

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

A shy boy wanting to shower his s/o in affection. He's not the most affectionate person out there but he does try to be romantic and such

He adores hugs more than kisses, he finds it further comforting to hold his partner close and reassured that there beside him. He wishes he could cuddle with you for hours however commissions among other tasks that always pull him back

He also likes kisses, there always gentle and soft and he mainly kisses you on the cheek, forehead, or lips.

So overall he is pretty affectionate and he tries his best to make you feel loved

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He can handle it for a few days, he has trust in you and your abilities. But he does think about you whenever you have to leave, wishing he could go with you. He's already missing your presence the moment you kissed him goodbye before venturing off to whatever.

Then he starts to become worried, his head is racing even though you're fine. He's trying to stay calm in the situation, which he does pretty well but it's clear something is troubling the traveler from another world. Nonetheless, he doesn't act out that worry

He starts to take up more commissions in hopes it will put his mind off It, overworking himself just a tad too much until he finds himself exhausted and turns in to rest for the night.

He refrains from any thoughts involving you being in a dangerous circumstance, he's trying to stay positive and counting down the days until your arrival back to Mondstadt or Liyue. But he has had that one thought or two, dreading over his shoulders

When you do return, the moment he spots your familiar figure; his mind is washed with relief as he makes his way towards you. He approaches with a soft, kind smile as he engulfs you into a hug. He asks you how the journey or task went and if you hit any roadblocks or difficulties.

He takes you to dinner that afternoon to talk some more, he misses you dearly :(

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

As mentioned before Aether tries his best to make you happy, he'll try somethings out but he won't cross any unnecessary lines or ones that shouldn't be crossed

Listen- he's stolen a Gods Lyre, angered the cryo God, fought a Harbinger, and almost destroyed a nation- oh and he's a garden thief. He's willing to go to some extra lengths to make you happy-he just doesn't want to add on to the list of chaos that had occurred already

But as mentioned previously, his main goal is finding his sister and he tries not to stray from it too much. But yes, he does care about your relationship and he is sure to remind you that you always hold a special place in his heart :)

I'm done omg, yay

#genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #aether x reader #genshin aether #genshin aether x reader

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gwynrielendgame · 3 years ago

Text

Gwynriel’s first fight

I was inspired to write this piece from a post by @himadrij so I hope you enjoy!

"You two have to start talking." Cassian groaned in frustration.

"I do not know what you are talking about. We are talking." Gwyn stubbornly crossed her arms after pushing her plate away. Azriel sat quietly at the opposite end of the table.

"Do not play ignorant." Nesta rolled her eyes. "You need to start talking to each other. About whatever is upsetting you." Nesta switched between the mates with a hard glare- one that would normally have the receiver cowering.

"I am not upset. Anything you would like to share Gwyneth?" Azriel lifted his eyebrows while staring her down. His cool demeanor over the situation infuriated the priestess. She was in knots over the situation meanwhile he was as cool as a cucumber. His shadows normally gave away how he truly was feeling, but they were nowhere to be seen. It was as if he was hiding them to punish her and it was working.

"Nope." She popped the P as she said it. If he wanted to be stubborn, well then she could play that game as well.

"What did you do to piss her off, Az?" Cassian turned to the Shadowsinger with a smirk. Gwyn felt smug that Cassian assumed it must have been something Az did to piss off Gwyn and not the other way around. Az simply rolled his eyes. If he was not going to answer, she might as well do it for him.

"Azriel agreed to go on his fourth dangerous mission of the month even though he knows my birthday is coming up." Gwyn's tone was pleasant even though she was feeling anything but. Cassian cringed as Gwyn spoke while Nesta sent Az a glare. The red head had not even told her best friend for the reason of the fight until this moment.

"And as I have told Gwyneth, this is my job. Rhys asking is simply a formality. It is not a choice." Azriel did not spare a glance to his mate. He kept his eyes on Cassian as he spoke.

"And as I told Azriel, Rhysand would allow him to skip one mission for my birthday."

"Skipping one mission could put this court, and therefore my mate in danger."

"He could send one of his other spies. He has so many at his disposal that I am sure there is one competent enough."

"My other spies are busy doing other jobs."

Cassian and Nesta's heads moved back and forth as they watched the verbal sparring that was occurring at the dining table. Gwyn was never one to back down from a fight and she would not start now. Azriel was being unreasonable as he normally was when it comes to his work.

"Well I am certain one of them could make time if you asked." A hard glare was set on the pretty females face. She did not want her mate to see how hurtful his decision was.

She never wanted him to feel as though he had to choose between his job and her, but she also never thought that he would choose his job every time. The truth was that Gwyn missed him. She hardly ever saw him anymore, and could not help but feel like he was doing this specifically to be away from her. Azriel decided not to respond. He turned back to his plate and roughly speared a piece of chicken. Cassian seemed apprehensive to say anything for fear of making it worse. Gwyn watched as a silent conversation occurred between Nesta and Cassian before the latter spoke up.

"Birthdays are important Az," he started off slowly. "Perhaps, you can ask Rhysand to delay the mission until after." Gwyn started to perk up at that. It was not a half bad idea- a promising compromise, she thought. Her hope was fading by Azriel's continued silence.

"Or we could celebrate early?" She decided to extend an olive branch. She remembered Nesta mentioning that relationships were all about compromise. She could certainly try if Azriel was willing. However, his stubbornness seemed to win out.

"Gwyn," he finally turned to look at her to plead with her. "This is for your own safety- for the entire court's safety. I do not have time to focus on silly birthday parties. I need to do my research and then leave as soon as possible. We can celebrate when I get back. I just do not have the time right now." Gwyn was so frustrated she groaned. She could tell Nesta and Cassian wanted to be anywhere other than here, and she could not blame them.

"You never have time for me anymore. It is like you do not even enjoy my company." It was not entirely true, but it was how Gwyn had been feeling as of recently. He was consumed with his work. She understood that there were parts of his job that she could never know about, but it was starting to feel like that was every part now.

"I couldn't possibly imagine why when we have such pleasant conversations as these!" He shouted in frustration. The sarcasm was dripping from his words so heavily that they stung much deeper than any of their previous bickering. Azriel's shadows finally let loose as he pulled at strands of his hair. They were waving about more chaotically than Gwyn had ever seen before. One reached out to her and she quickly pulled away. She did not want to be comforted by him or his shadows right now. Gwyn looked down at her plate- she could not stand to look at him currently. All of her insecurities began to attack her.

"Gwyn," he began. Remorse coating every word. "I am so sorry. I did not mean that. I was speaking out of anger, it is not true. I would spend every second of every day with you if I could." She heard as he pushed his chair back. She knew he was going to come over to her, but that is not what she needed right now. She needed space. She quickly got up as well.

"Sorry to have ruined your dinner." She looked at Cassian and Nesta as she said it, but the words were meant for Azriel as well. Nesta's face was as soft as she had ever seen it. Cassian had the same look on his face.

"Gwyn," Azriel tried again as he continued to move towards his mate. Gwyn did not want him though. Not while she was feeling so vulnerable.

"I will speak to you later." Was all she could manage before she fled to her room. Nesta had given her a room in the House of Wind which Gwyn would be forever grateful for- even if she mainly stayed in Azriel’s room nowadays. However, she felt more overwhelmed here than she ever did in the library.

"Fuck." Was his only thought as he plopped back down in his chair and pulled at his hair. He truly did not need this added stress.

"You will make this up to her." Nesta snapped like the viper she was. "You will make it up to her, and then you will be here to celebrate her birthday." Her glares were enough to unnerve Azriel.

She departed just as quickly as his mate. He groaned once more. For as long as he lived he would remember that look on Gwyn's face. He had not meant what he said. His anxiety had reached new levels lately with all new nightmares plaguing him at night. Nightmares of losing his mate in torturous ways. Doing his job seemed to be the only relief. As long as he knew everyone's secrets, he knew his mate was safe. For some reason, she could not understand his overwhelming need to protect her from all potential threats. He knew he would spill any of the night court secrets if it meant keeping Gwyn alive. He had to assume that his enemies knew that too. His shadows continued to swirl around him angrily. They wanted his mate as much as he did. He remembered how she pulled away from them- not wanting comfort from them for the first time ever. He knew in that exact moment how much damage he did, and it was extensive. He would grovel for weeks if he had too.

"Smooth move." Cassian piped up in between bites of green beans. Azriel sent him a withering look.

"I should probably go check on her."

"I would give her some space if I were you. You might want to rehearse what you are going to say anyways since you seem keen on putting your foot in your mouth." Cassian raised his eyebrows at him. Azriel grudgingly agreed with his best friend.

Perhaps, he should practice what he wanted to say. It might help him to avoid this exact situation. He had been frustrated that his mate did not seem to understand how paralyzing his anxiety was. However, she was not a mind reader, and he had never properly explained to her why he felt the need to be consumed with work. He would give her some space, grovel for at least an hour, explain himself, and then pleasure her for at least the next week straight to start off as an apology for the awful words he said to her. Then he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her.

Gwyn let out a sigh as she sunk down into the bath water. The warmth felt good on her stiff muscles. Trainings had been extra long recently since her mate was otherwise preoccupied and she found herself not wanting to be alone with her thoughts. Gwyn rested her head against the back of the large tub, flipping her hair so that it rested outside of the tub to avoid the water. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax. Well as much as she could given her current emotional state. Part of her knew that Azriel was just lashing out- that he did not mean what he said. But the other part, the insecure part, was still undecided about how truthful his outburst was. She could not fathom any other reason for his constant need to be on missions and away from her. She attempted to distract herself with her mind-stilling, but before she could get too far into it, foot steps sounded in the adjourned bedroom. It was his way of alerting her to his presence. Gwyn continued to ignore him, but she could feel Azriel looming over her from behind. Rough, calloused hands scraped over her exposed arms, brushing against her shoulders and neck, and finally resting in her hair. She kept her eyes firmly closed. He would not win with a few sweet words and tender touches- not this time.

“Gwyn.” He whispered.

His lips brushed against the outer arch of her ear causing a shiver to ripple through her body. She internally cursed herself for giving him any sort of reaction, even an involuntary one. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, her neck, her collarbone, then the top of her breast. She felt his tongue slide over her skin which finally got him a reaction. She quickly shoved away from him and pushed herself towards the opposite end of the tub, turning around to face him as she did so. Gwyn pulled her knees up to cover her breasts. There was no way he was getting a free show out of all of this.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” She settled a glare at him.

Gwyn knew he felt guilty. It was written plainly on his face. She did not even have to see his shadows, which he was hiding away, to know that they wanted to touch her. Her glare lessened only slightly into a grimace.

“Gwyneth Berdara, I love you more than anyone and anything. I love you more than my job, or this court, or even my own shadows. I love you so much that it is almost paralyzing. I love you so much I can picture all the ways I could lose you- all the ways my enemies may take you from me. I love you more than Rhysand or Cassian. I love you more than the stars in the sky. I will never be able to express to you how sorry I am, but I promise you I did not mean it. I love every second I spend with you.” He was so genuine as he said it that Gwyn’s eyes began to water. She quickly wiped at them.

“Who knew you had such a way with words?” She muttered. Finally, Azriel reached out to her with a shadow. She hesitated for a second before allowing the shadow to caress her face. Az harshly wiped away a tear of his own.

“You are right. I will send someone else on this mission.” She wanted him to spend it with her cause he wanted to, not because he felt guilty. Gwyn voiced the insecurity that had been eating away at her for the last several months.

“Why are you so keen to be away from me? You throw yourself into dangerous mission after dangerous mission with no regard for how anxiety inducing that is for me. I am constantly worried that you are hurt or in trouble or cauldron forbid dead. You say that you can picture your enemies taking me away while I sit comfortably in the night court surround by the most elite warriors. I picture your enemies taking you away from me while you engage in dangerous activities. Do you not see how unfair that is?” His face seemed so tortured. As if he was finally expressing how anxious he had been feeling lately.

“You are right. It is unfair.” He started slowly. He moved closer to her side of the tub to intertwine his fingers with her. “I was not looking at it from your perspective. I was consumed by the idea that if I could keep on top of all the information I found, then I would be the first to know if anyone had something planned against you. I was being taunted by images of my brothers discovering you, and continuing the torment from my childhood.” At the mention of his brothers, Gwyn softened completely. She knew his childhood was his biggest vulnerability. She just wished he told her this sooner. “I know how capable you are. I trained you myself, you won the blood rite for fucks sake. I just want to protect you in the way I was never really able to protect my mom- or myself for that matter.”

Gwyn shifted onto her knees to grab Azriel’s face with both her hands. He did not seem to care that she was getting water all over him, so she did not pay it much mind either.

“I understand. I appreciate you telling me. I know that’s hard for you, but do us both a favor in the future? Talk to me about it. I have been going out of my mind thinking that I make you unhappy when all I need to do is kick your ass in hand to hand combat to ease your anxiety.” They both had slight streams of tears on their face. They were not sobbing, but quietly crying together. Az let out a sharp laugh at Gwyn’s final words. It had her smiling through her tears as well.

“If you beat my ass in hand to hand I will bring you on my next mission.” He rolled his eyes as he said it, so Gwyn knew he was joking. It sparked a brilliant idea in her mind though.

“That is perfect Az!” She brought his face closer to smack a quick kiss on his lips.

He tried to lean in again for something more, but she held his face back firmly. His hands came around her waist to bring her closer. It was as if her enthusiastic kiss was an all clear sign for him. He knew it was safe to touch her intimately after she made the first move.

“What’s perfect?” He asked when she dodged his second attempt at a kiss.

“I should go with you on missions! You have anxiety about my safety? I will never be safer than when I am at your side.”

“You think the answer to my worries over your safety will be to bring you on my very dangerous missions instead of you sitting comfortably guarded by elite warriors as you so graciously mentioned earlier?” He quirked one eyebrow in her direction with his lips turning up ever so slightly into the barest of smiles. It was the one he normally gave when he was teasing her. She nudged his shoulder slightly.

“Okay when you put it that way it does not sound as perfect, but come on! I can help you research each mission, we can come up with a game plan, a backup plan, an A, B, and C plan, and then we will both be happy because we can protect each other.” Her smile was so brilliantly happy that Azriel could not find it in himself to give her an outright no. He gave her a soft smile before tucking her under his chin for a tight hug. She reciprocated by squeezing him with her wet arms. His shadows were finally content to sit on his shoulders and stroke Gwyn’s back every so often.

“I will discuss it with Rhys.” A high pitched squeal that he had only ever heard on rare occasion broke out from her throat. He threw his head back in laughter he could not quite contain.

Gwyn hopped out of the tub so quickly Azriel worried she might slip. She was already tugging him into the room she occasionally occupied when she wanted time alone.

“Where are you taking me?” He could not stop his laughter even if he tried. The image of his naked mate pulling him around with a bright smile was enough to quell his anxiety for the moment. She sent him a suggestive smile, one that always promised a good time.

“To find the ribbons, of course.”

#gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel #acotar #acosf #mating bond #mates

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celestialevie · 4 years ago

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Flower Boy // George Weasley x GN! Reader

Summary: AU where y/n is working at the tattoo shop, while their best friend is an owner of a flower shop. What happenes when expecting to see your best friend for lunch, you end up meeting a tall ginger man. Warnings: fluff, mention of food, tattoos, flowers, George being absolute charmer Word count: 1.7k a/n: enjoy this aboslute fluff of a fic!! and again, english is not my first language so if there are any mistakes please do not hestitate to let me know about it!! ' Evangeline ' is an oc of mine, so she might appear in some of my fics as a side charachter. Also credit to @bwbatta for the dividers!!

Being a tattoo artist was one of the things you were proudest of. It wasn't easy to become one after neglecting art for so many years during High School. But after your best friend opened her own flower shop, she helped you get your inspiration for art being constantly surrounded by flowers and stories of why people were getting flowers. You were happy with everything but not knowing that wasn't the end of your happiness. It all started when you were on your lunch break and decided to swing by your best friend's flower shop to visit her. Expecting to see a small blonde girl behind the counter, you were shocked to see a tall ginger man standing there instead. '' Hello, how can I help you today? '' When ginger looked up, he felt as if someone kicked all of the air from his lungs because before him stood a beautiful person with y/h/c hair and y/e/c eyes. Smiling at them as they approached the counter, they were even more beautiful up close. '' Hi, um I'm looking for Evangeline? I didn't know she hired someone new. '' Ginger laughed, nodding his head. '' Ah yes, I'm only here temporarily. Unfortunately, you just missed her, she left to go on a lunch break with my uglier twin. '' You only laughed at that. '' Too bad, but can you please let her know that y/n looked for her? '' He nodded. '' I'll let her know. I'm George by the way. If you ever wanna ask her for me. '' George wiggled his eyebrows, making you shook your head. '' It was nice meeting you, but I have to go now. Please don't break any of her flowers she's not afraid to commit murder if you break something in her shop. '' his eyes widen, making you laugh as you were leaving but his voice stopped you. '' Hey! You come here often? '' he asks '' Considering I use to work here and my best friend owns it, yes. '' and with that, you left the shop, heading back to your workplace.

As the clock turned changed time to 8 pm, you relaxed finally going home after a stressful day. Just as you were open the door, Evangeline barged in. '' Hello, heard you've been looking for me. '' She grinned at her best friend, attacking them with a hug. '' Hello to you too,'' you said returning the hug '' I see the tall ginger you failed to mention to me kept his word. '' smirk appearing in the corner of your mouth as you recall your encounter with him from earlier today. '' It seemed to me you left a trance on Georgie boy. '' Evangeline wiggled her eyebrows, making you laugh '' You can't do that to me, I wanted to have lunch with my best friend only to find she ditched me for and I quote the ginger man '' uglier twin '', leaving me to get almost a heart attack. For a second I thought I walked into a wrong shop. '' Both of you walked out of the shop, heading towards your apartment. '' Speaking of that date, you also failed to mention you were dating someone, and here I thought we tell each other everything, tsk tsk. I'm disappointed. '' you nudged her, blush creeping on her cheeks. '' Oh my god are you blushing? He's making you blush just by thinking of him? You need to tell me about him. '' and so she did. She told you how his name is Fred and along with his twin, he has 6 siblings, making both of them the middle children. It was very interesting to know about a man who took an interest in my best friend. Deciding she'll spend the night at yours, you both got cosy into pyjamas and watched movies until you both crashed. The next morning you went together to work, letting you know she'll come to your work for the lunch break. So when your lunch break came, you didn't expect her to walk in with the same ginger man from yesterday. '' y/n/n, I brought us a bodyguard to keep us safe during our lunch break. '' grin played on her lips, making you shake your head. '' Yeah because we're so in danger that someone is gonna try and kill us while eating Taco Bell. '' George snorted, making you look at him. He looked even cuter than yesterday if that's even possible. Maybe there was something in gingers that you'd yet to discover that makes them so attractive. '' So flower boy, what do you do when you're not being a bodyguard or taking care of Evie's flower shop. '' he was grinning at the nickname. '' I own a joke shop with my brother, but we're currently redecorating inside so we had to close it for a week or two. '' An attractive businessman, that's a first one you snorted to yourself. Spending an hour with two of them, turned into a mostly back and forth conversation between George and you. Soon Evie had to leave, her lunch break coming to an end. To your surprise, George asked you if he could stay for a bit longer, which you said yes to since you had no client for another hour. He asked you about your art style, which, according to George made your eyes sparkle up with happiness, making him chuckle when you started to ramble not even noticing. '' You're rambling. '' he chuckled making you blush a little. '' Sorry, sometimes I can get carried away without even noticing. '' George smiled, taking your hand in his, making you look at him. '' Don't apologise, it's adorable. '' blushing even harder, you looked at the clock making you realise that in 15 minutes your client should be coming. '' Oh shit I didn't even realise how much time has passed already, I have to prepare for the next client. But hey if you ever want a tattoo you know where to come. '' You said and with that, you disappeared somewhere behind in the storage, kind of hiding from flower boy, because he's starting to make you feel things you haven't felt before.

Everything was happening so fast, in the next few days he kept coming either alone or in a company of Evangeline. She knew what she was doing and she was enjoying it. You even got to meet Fred, him wanting to meet the fascinating best friend of his girlfriend and the person who his brother can't seem to stop talking about. So when George asked you out, you said yes having nothing to lose. Deciding on a picnic, both of you packed some food, and he picked you up after work, leading you to a park. He prepared a blanket and put down the baskets where food and drinks were, sitting down and relaxing. '' How was your day? '' you began the conversation. '' It was good, mostly spent the entire day thinking of what to bring for our date tonight. '' a smile appeared on his face. '' How was yours? Any interesting tattoos you did? '' so you told him about this older guy who had half of his back tattooed with some weird game character, which made him laugh. Looking up at the sky, it looked amazing. '' Isn't the view beautiful? '' a grin played on your lips as you looked at the stars. George was only looking at you, and how beautiful you looked under the stars. If he wasn't already falling, he definitely would've now. '' Yeah, it couldn't be more beautiful. '' you looked at him and he was looking at you. '' Stop looking at me like that! '' He grinned at you, placing a hand on your cheek. '' Like what? '' he said softly while looking you in the eyes. '' L-like I've placed all the stars in the sky as if I'm the most unique thing on this planet. '' you were avoiding his eyes, knowing you wouldn't be able to breathe if you do. George had other plans, because he softly placed finger under your chin, making you look up at him. His eyes were filled with so much adoration, making you get lost in them. '' I've been looking at you like that ever since we first met, darling. I've grown quite fond of you from the first time our eyes met. '' a smile was spread on both of your lips '' God how much I love seeing you smile. I like you so much, love. '' placing your hands on both of his cheeks '' Can I tell you something? '' you said quietly almost a whisper. '' You can tell me anything. '' ''I like you too flower boy. '' even bigger smile was on his lips. '' Could you say it again? '' you furrowed your eyebrows. '' Were you not listening? '' he shook his head. ' No, I was, I just like the sound of your voice. '' you shook your head at his goofiness. '' Can you kiss me? '' a grin appeared on his lips '' Thought you'd never ask. '' and with that, he placed his soft lips on top of yours, lips mending with each other. It was like fireworks exploded inside you, from how much happiness you felt in this moment. Everything was perfect.

The next day you decided to visit Evangeline in the shop, expecting to see I guy you've grown s much fond of. And there he was stood with Fred and Evangeline, his beautiful smile playing on his lips. '' Hello, hope I'm not interrupting a big secret meeting. '' you joked as you approached them. George pulled you in his embrace, placing a small kiss on your temple as he sneaked an arm around your shoulder. '' Of course not love. '' you smiled at him, starting a conversation with him, not noticing how Fred and Evangeline were looking at the two of you. '' I haven't seen her smile like that in ages. '' Evie said, '' Hey flower boy, '' Fred began only to be shot by a dirty look by you. '' Hey, only I can call him that,'' you said and with that making everyone laugh including yourself. This is the happiest you've been in forever, and you could only hope it could stay like this forever.

#harry potter #hogwarts #george wealsey x reader #george weasley #fred and george #george wealsey imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley #harry potter fanfiction #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley one shot #weasley twins #hp #fred and george weasley #george weasley fluff #george weasley angst #george weasley smut #fred weasley fluff

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spicy-dunkaroo · 3 years ago

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Stuck by Your Side (Part 1)

♫Now Playing: “Stuck by Your Side (Part 1)” by Spicy Dunkaroo…♪

❀Word Count: 2.5k

❀Rating: PG 13, 18+, Minors Do Not Interact (please)

❀Genre: Mythology AU!, Kelpie! Tamaki Amajiki, a pinch of Angst, very Fluffy, Maybe Smut (Still not sure yet)

❀Summary: Due to your job, you’re forced to visit a beautiful city in Scotland in order to get some reconnaissance on the locals. While on this trip, you grab a drink with a coworker and return home where you begin to notice strange things happen.

❀Warning(s): Cursing, Mentions of Alcohol use (Characters are aged up), and Mentions of Depression

❀Author's Note: Hello everyone!! This will be my first collaboration with the BNHarem server (Of hopefully many more). I hope that if you enjoy this story that you also go ahead and check out the other talented artists/writers that participated in this server collab here. I am beyond grateful to be working with so many amazing writers and artists that have helped me and inspired me to start writing!! I would also like to ask that if there are any warnings I might have missed, please do let me know. The last thing I want to do is have anyone read my story and get triggered because I didn’t properly put the warnings here.

Without further adieu, I hope you enjoy :)

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Birds singing, leaves crunching, and the wind singing in your ears was all you could hear as the tour guide went on with their one-sided conversation of tour around Inverness, Scotland. If it weren’t for your worrisome supervisor, you’d be in the cute little cottage that you rented for the next few weeks, probably playing on your switch or watching Tigtog videos for hours on end. But noooo, they mandated that everyone had to go on this hour-long tour of the city to “get a nice perspective of the city” or whatever the hell they were rambling on about.

Each person was assigned a partner for the tours so they didn’t have to worry about anyone getting abducted or ‘lost’. Knowing better, you visibly rolled your eyes as your partner looked around like a kid in a candy store. Apparently the woman was from the marketing department as well, her name seeming to leave your memory as you squinted in her direction.

“You forgot my name again, didn’t you?”

“Pfft- no- no way!”

“Yea? Then what is it?”

“Uh, erm...It- it starts with a H, I know that!!”

“It’s Hoshi, or if you’d like to continue with formalities, Ms. Tenmei.”

Hanging your head in shame you look away. Getting lost in your thoughts once more, Hoshi taps on your shoulder.

“Hey, no worries! I’m pretty bad with names myself. How’s camera duty going?”

Saying this, the woman grabs the camera from your grasp, turning it back on to see the pictures you had taken thus far. Whistling, Hoshi looks back at you, noticing the lack of enthusiasm that was painted across your face.

“I know this tour is the last thing either of us want to do, but the quicker you get all those pictures for the portfolio, the quicker we can get out of here and grab a drink. It’ll be my treat if you can get all of them before the end of the tour.”

Nodding your head, you grab the camera back from her, beginning to focus it on a nice view of the lake from the bridge the two of you were standing on. Before you can snap the shot, the tour-guide’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts as he begins to speak about a more interesting topic.

“It’s said that this lake has a kelpie spirit living within its waters. Although, that can be said about any lake that’s big enough to swim in.”

As most tourists begin to talk amongst themselves, you grip onto the expensive camera once more, hoping to find that perfect shot you had before the man’s shrilling voice had interrupted your train of thought.

“Mommy, what’s a kelpie?”

As the little boy spoke, you took the chance to snap the shot as a bird flew on the lake's surface, leaving a black blur on the perfect shot!

‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’

The tour guide you grew to despise butted into the pair’s conversation to answer the boys question.

“That’s a good question kiddo! It’s said that the origins of the Kelpie were originally told as warnings to women and children alike to be alert at all times when not around their loved ones. Despite this, you can ask any local in the area and most could tell you their story of encountering the supposed myth. I suppose we’ll never know till we see one for ourselves. Though, if you’re unlucky enough to encounter such a myth, there’s the chance that you won’t live to tell the tale...”

The boy trembled as he gripped his mother’s dress tighter in his clutch. Your partner begins to scoot closer to you as she whispers into your ear.

“Psst! Hey, what do you think about those ‘kelpie’ hm?”

“It sounds like some sort of folk-lore they tell all the tourists here.”

“Oh c’mon now, you’re no fun! I’d like to think they might not be as brutal as this guy says.”

Scoffing, you shake your partner’s hand from your shoulder as you look into the camera’s lens once more to take another picture.

‘I’m sure it’s all bullshit. There’s no such thing as a shape-shifting kel-‘

Thinking this, you suddenly feel your body begin to fall forward as the bridge railing suddenly let out from beneath you. Before you realize it, you open your eyes to see the water's surface only a mere foot or two from your own face, the camera hanging by your neck and grazing the lake, your body beginning to be pulled back to its upright position.

Turning around to thank whoever it was that just saved you from having to pay for the company camera, you look to see nobody behind you. Nobody seemed to even be around you as you see Hoshi following behind the group of tourists, leaving you in the dust. You begin to chase after the group as you shake off the entire encounter.

Shuffling your bag off of your shoulder you threw it into the nearby chair, slumping into the couch that was adjacent to the chair. You began to hum to yourself as you felt the effects of the beer contest you had with Hoshi who you now knew was your supervisor. Thinking to yourself you remember losing that contest the two of you set up.

‘It was nice of her to pay for us and to bring me back home even though I lost. I should thank her tomorrow and try to pay her back if I can.’

Suddenly feeling the effects of the liquid courage, you stood up a bit too quickly, reaching your hand out to the couch you were just laying on. Not sure what to do, you reached for your phone to scroll through Tigtog, that was until you began to hear something strange. From what you could tell, it sounded like a voice, though you weren’t sure if it was male or female. Curiosity began to take the lead as you stood upright once more. Looking around, you began to walk around the cottage, seeing if there was anything on that could be making that noise. Eventually you found yourself outside in what looked to be the backyard of your little cottage, swaying side to side as you tried to listen for the voice once more.

“Y/N? Are- are you there?”

Under normal circumstances, after hearing an unknown males voice you’d already be locking the backdoor behind you after racing to that door. Tonight, however, was not the case as you yelled back the best you could of a response.

“yYeaa! Wwwhooo- whoo arre yOU?”

After saying this, you suddenly began to burp, probably due to the alcohol. Despite everything you had experienced thus far, for some reason your fit of burps could not be funner to you at that very moment as the voice spoke once more.

“T-That’s not important r-right now. I just wanted to make sure you made it back home safe.”

The liquid courage that coursed through your veins decided that you wanted to find out more about this stranger and began to walk into the forest. You began to sway as you attempted to find them, calling out to them in hopes of convincing them to stay and hang out.

“OoooOh c’mON now!! Don’t be liiiike that! Wh-wherrrreeee are ya? Le-le-let’s hanggg ouT for a bit! I-I *hic* think there’s cards in the liv-livingg roooom~! We- we can play a gggame of poKER and- and see what’s in the fridge. Man, now I’m hungryyy!”

Despite your lack of sobriety at the moment, you began to hear a few leaves crunch nearby. It appeared that for some reason or another, what you lacked in logic you seemed to gain in your basic senses. This theory proved true as you sniffed the air, you noticed that there was a lake nearby.

‘Since when the hell did I know what a river smelled like?’

Before you can continue on with your train of thought, the stranger responds once more. They seemed a bit panicked as you heard a twig snap, followed by more leaves crunching beneath their feet you suspected.

“D-D-Don’t come any closer! Y-You should go back h-home, you’re not t-thinking rationally.”

Not wanting to take no for an answer, you continue to walk to the source of the sound, hearing what sounded like a cascading river growing louder. Looking through the trees, you noticed a few yards away the river you had just heard. You speak up once more as you begin to walk toward the river.

“I-I don’t want to be alone r-right now… It-it’s stupid I know, I just...I’d just like to talk, just for a little bit. Would that be okay?”

Your vision began to blur as you rushed to the river's edge. It didn’t matter now if the stranger responded or not, your world began to crash down around you as you looked at the reflection on the water's edge. Sitting on your knees, small whimpers escaped your lips out as you covered your face with your hands. Despite the literal lack of sight, your emotions consumed you as it felt that everything around you was losing the light that once shone in your hopeful eyes.

At this point, you couldn’t hear any signs of life as you gripped harder at your face, only the sound of your quiet cries for help being all that echoed through that hollow forest. Assuming the worst, you began to move your hands from your face, dropping them by your side once more as you looked at your reflection once again.

“Y-You said you wanted to talk? T-That’d be fine, just- just promise you won’t cry anymore?”

There's a beat of silence, it seemed that not even the wind could speak as your body froze. Sure, you could convince yourself that you were just hearing things, that you were just acting aloof because you were feeling lonely. If you could get yourself on the couch, you could wake up and even tell yourself that the whole experience was just a really surreal dream you had. What you couldn’t convince yourself was the half naked man that appeared to be standing a few feet behind you, his voice matching his lips as you watched them move.

‘Maybe- maybe I’m just seeing things? That-that has to be right, right?! But alcohol doesn’t cause hallucinations and I’m positive that none of my drinks were spiked. So- so...Who the hell is this!?!’

“Are- are you okay Y/N?”

Your body grew stiff as you heard your name roll off of his tongue. If you weren’t getting clearheaded before, you definitely were cold sober now. Those shy indigo eyes that seemed to stare back at your own off of the river's surface as they brought you back to your senses.

‘There is a strange, half-naked man, who somehow knows you by your name, staring at you- talking to you! He doesn’t seem very intimidating, but then again he is a stranger!! In the best case scenario, he could just be a nice guy who found someone in need. Worst case, he’s a psycho that found their next victim! I can’t keep my back turned like this, I have to do something and get the hell out of this!’

Taking a shallow breath in, you swiftly turn your entire body around, facing the stranger that now made your body shiver in fear as you looked up at him. Despite the appearance of the situation, the man seemed to be intimidated by you as he looked away.

‘He doesn’t really seem like he wants to hurt me. If anything, he’s scared of me? Maybe I can intimidate him to leave me alone? Though, I don’t think I could pull it off seeing as I’m still a bit drunk…’

“Y-Y/N?”

Looking back at the man, you notice he begins to reach his hand out toward you, slowly beginning to walk toward your crouched form. Worried for the worst, you scoot away as you respond.

“H-HEY!! D-Don’t come any c-closer! If-If you don’t I-I’ll- ACK!”

Speaking this, you only now notice that there didn’t seem to be any more ground beneath you as you felt your body begin to fall into the river.

“Y/N!”

Before you can process everything that’s happening, you close your eyes in anticipation for the cold water that was bound to drown you. The stranger grabs your wrist, holding your body up above the river, your body mere inches from being submerged in the cold water. Noticing the lack of impact, you flutter your eyes open as you look back at the man before you. Shocked, the man looks down at where he grabbed your wrists. Only now do you notice a purple hue that surrounded both your arms.

“What- what is this?!”

At a loss for words, the man can only look back between your face and where he held your wrist. Confused and scared, you rip your arm from his grip as you stand yourself back up. As you stare at the man, you look around, befuddled by whatever the hell had just happened.

While a part of you would love to ask what just happened, the more logical side of you knew that none of this was worth hanging around to find out. Dusting yourself off, the man speaks up once more as he looks away in what seemed to be guilt.

“Y-Y/N, I-I’m so so-sorry!! I-I didn’t mean to t-touch you- What have I done?!”

Not wanting to wait any longer, you began to shuffle around the man, holding your hands up in surrender as you attempted to empathize with the man. Although, you weren’t sure why he was so worried since he didn’t seem to do anything besides whatever that purple glow was moments before.

“Hey, hey! We don’t have to speak about any of this. I’ll go back and after that we won’t have to ever see each other ever again, okay?”

“Y/N, i-it’s not that simpl- h-Hey, WAIT!!”

Before he had a chance to explain, you sprinted back to your cute rental cottage that you were now wishing you never left. Looking back, you notice the man just stood there as you were almost home.

Suddenly, your body stopped moving. What was even stranger, your body seemed to freeze mid-sprint. Looking around, you noticed that somehow your head was able to move but your arms were stiff as you attempted to force your body to run once more. Just as you were about to give up, your legs moved once more, wobbling as they felt gravity work once more. Not taking any chances, you began to dash once more. Not a second later, your body rolled forward from some sort of large and heavy impact. After your body finished rolling forward, you noticed that you were sitting in the backyard of the cottage, the man sitting on his head as his body laid against the door.

“W-Who or-or What are you?”

The man sighs as he flutters his eyes open, rubbing his head as he looks up at you.

“M-My name’s T-Tamaki Amajiki, and- and I’m a kelpie…”

~End of Part 1~

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4aloysius-porteu · 4 years ago

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i am your ally || tsukishima kei.

pairing; tsukishima kei x f! reader

genre: oneshot, drama, flangst, a little comedy

word count: 5.6k

details: 3rd year Tsukishima, artist reader

warnings: reader going missing, verbal abuse, crushing of dreams, lots of sadness, heavy parental argument, everything that happens here hits home

synopsis: tsukishima didnt know what is the right thing to say after he heard of (y/n)’s situation, but the words that stumbled out from his mouth were a surprise, yet it blossomed to a meaningful talk that happens once in a blue moon.

(a/n): wrote in the middle of my depressing days to find a little comfort from this character that I love with all my heart. inspired by true situations irl; if you, my friend, is feeling down today, i hope reading this work of mine can help. i might make this into a full story if this got enough attention tho.

(Y/N) was nowhere to be found.

It wasn't Tsukishima's habit to eavesdrop on other people's conversation, but he couldn't help but listen when he heard her name from her classmates. She was a consistent top student that will never neglect her studies, so it was unusual to know that she was absent today. He thought that maybe she got sick or she decided to go crazy and skip school. If it was the latter, he hoped that she knows what she's doing, because midterms are coming in 3 days, and he's not going to listen to her whines and begs to help her study for the tests.

And now he just happened to overhear that she was missing.

He saw her parents walk out of the campus after talking to the vice-principal and to the teachers. Gossip filled the corridors and rooms. Tsukishima went back to his room, clearly annoyed with the unnecessary noise.

He listened to the lectures of each subject and continued to write down important points, but the thought of (Y/N) lingered in his head. What could've happened that led to her disappearance? Was she kidnapped? No, he just walked her home last night and she'll never leave her place past midnight. Kidnappers won't dare to make a move in daylight because of the town's high authority visibility. There's no way she'll be lost in an area she's very familiar with.

She ran away from home. That is the only logical possibility he could come up with, but he couldn't think of an idea as to why. (Y/N), who loves to be cooped up in her room with music blaring in her earphones while drawing, left her home without a trace. Tsukishima was a little worried, but he won't let his face show whatever the hell he's feeling.

His plays and blocks aren't exactly bad, but Yamaguchi could sense that Tsukishima was thinking of something other than the volleyball practice. He approached his friend who was resting on the floor, his long arms covering his curled up legs.

"Tsukki, what's with that expression? Did you get a failing score in a quiz?" Yamaguchi started, in an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere.

The blonde's eyes darted to him, "Like hell, I'm going to let that happen. What do you want?"

He shrugged, "Nothing, I just noticed that you were a little quieter and more passive today. Normally, you would've chewed the first years out with their simple blocking errors, but you didn't say a thing. You're scarier in their eyes when you're silent."

"I was tired. I'll only waste my voice pointing out something I did a million times." A sigh escaped his lips

"Right..." Yamaguchi paused, "So, I assume you have heard?"

"Heard of what?"

"That (Y/N) is missing."

"Oh," A frown fell on his features. It wasn't his usual frown. People who really know him would notice that his eyes are full of worry.

He sat beside Tsukishima before he spoke again. "I know you have ideas on places (Y/N) could've gone to."

"I do not know what you're talking about."

The latter chuckled, "Oh, humor me, Tsukki. If you're that worried, I can excuse you for today's practice. No problem."

"Does that mean that you aren't concerned?"

"I am concerned. I want to look for her as well, but I have to whip the other players into shape. I'm sorry if I couldn't accompany you right away."

Tsukishima stood up and sighed again, "You will excuse me, you said?"

"Yeah."

There were silence and the background noise of balls and shoes colliding on the floor. He wiped the sweat off his face before replying, "I'll be leaving the gym in a few minutes."

He changed his clothes and packed his things up, causing the team to exchange glances.

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi called, throwing his friend's large jacket to him, which the other caught. "Take care! I hope you find (Y/N) and get her home safe."

"I wish. Then, I'll leave it to you, Captain."

The green-haired middle blocker's eyes teared up and sparkled as he beamed a smile back, "I got it!"

Tsukishima started to look for (Y/N) at the places she liked to go to; the art store, the Central Park, the kid's playground, the museum, and the prefectural library. But there was no sign of her anywhere. He looked at the nearby places to no avail. He walked on while dialing her number, but her phone is out of coverage area. He spent 3 more hours finding the girl and soon received a message from Yamaguchi, telling him that (Y/N) hasn't been found yet and that he joined the authorities to help them find her.

He walked back to the direction of his home, panting softly. He had failed to find (Y/N), yet his brain won't stop thinking about her possible whereabouts. The cool breeze of winter hit Tsukishima's face and shivered at the contact. He had hoped again that she is inside of an establishment, safe from such cold weather.

Tsukishima's home has its lights out. Her mother was invited into her colleagues' reunion as said in her text, and both his father and brother are busy at work. He reached for his key in his pocket and was opening the door, not until he heard a loud sob from somewhere. Tsukishima looked around the place as the sobbing continued. He searched for the source and ended up in their backyard. He caught the sight of a small figure behind the bushes and went closer to confirm.

It was a cat. It had scurried away once he got close to it. Oh, how stupid he is to get his hopes up only to find a scared animal. But he was certain he heard a sob somewhere near. And cats aren't capable of making a sound like that. Or maybe he was only hearing things?

He dragged his feet to the main door to unlock it, but this time, there was a loud noise of scrubbing on the roof. What is it this time? He moved back and looked upon where it came from.

To his surprise, it wasn't another cat but a person. Their legs were curled up, arms covered around them, with their chin on their knees. Tsukishima turned on his phone's flashlight and there she was.

It was (Y/N). Her shoulders shook, either from the cold or trying her best not to cry out loud.

"H-Help me."

He stared at the girl, confused and fighting back laughter because of how scared (Y/N) looked. "How the heck did you get in there?"

"I climbed that tree and jumped off to break in and hide in your room. Turned out that the windows are locked. I don't know how to jump back and I-I was too high from the ground. You know I'm scared of heights! Why did you lock the window?! Stupid!"

"Of course, I would lock the window for the security. And wow, aren't you the stupid one for knowing how to climb and jump up to my window and not knowing how to get down? Why did you climb if you are scared of heights? Such an idiot."

"Fine, fine. I am an idiot. Now, can you help me get off this roof?"

He crossed his arms and smirked, "No."

"Ugh! Please, Kei. I've been trapped here for hours. I am begging you to help me get down. Please?"

He sighed in defeat and raised his arms. "Here. Jump."

For seconds, (Y/N) didn't respond as she was having second thoughts about jumping.

"What? Do you expect me to get a ladder? I'm sorry, but it's in the basement, broken." He said in a mocking tone. "Don't you want to come down?"

"Can you catch me properly? Are your arms stable? Won't you fall on your ass?" (Y/N) interrogated.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, "Alright, stay there and freeze to death."

"No, wait! I was just asking! Come back! Don't leave meeee!"

The blonde looked up to her and raised his arms again, "Don't think. Trust me, I will catch you properly and you won't crash to the ground. You weigh like nothing anyway."

"Are you talking about yourself?" She retorted, pertaining to his weight.

"Can you please just jump?"

(Y/N) inhaled and went to the edge of the roof. It was a scary view for her, just looking down makes her dizzy, and want to throw up. She thought he would have the largest frown on his face because of how irritatingly slow she was, but there was Tsukishima waiting for her with the calmest expression. She smiled a little.

"Here I go..."

She took off, closing her eyes, and swallowing her fears. The gravity pulled her feet down shortly after, and Tsukishima readied himself for the impact as he reached her waist. He held on to her lower torso while (Y/N) placed her arms around his shoulders tightly and legs on his waist. The athlete's balance slightly went off, so he took a step back to support both their weights. It was now steady.

"I'm surprised you didn't lose your balance. Where's the weak boned beanpole 3 years ago?"

"I did for a second."

"Doesn't matter. You caught me. Thank you."

They had stayed in that way for a moment until Tsukishima spoke, "Do you plan to get off?"

"No. I'm tired."

"I am too." Yet she refused to let go.

He exhaled, carrying (Y/N) to the main entrance and finally unlocking the door. Her hoodie was cold and some parts are wet, but it didn't rain on that day. He took her in and placed her on the couch. Tsukishima went to his room, changed clothes, and brought a spare sweatshirt, handkerchief, and a towel. He went down but didn't find (Y/N) where he left her, so he walked to the kitchen counter and found the girl on the corner, shivering like a pup.

He tossed the clothing at her without further words. There was a note from her mom beside the curry in the table, saying she had eaten and she left rolls in the refrigerator. He was about to turn on the stove to reheat the food his mother left, but his eyes landed on (Y/N) who sat quietly, hugging the sweatshirt instead of wearing it. Her hair was disheveled, the sleeves and neck part of her hoodie was damp, her nose was red and her puffy, bloodshot eyes implied that she has been crying for who knows how long. He set the pan down to get her a glass of water.

"Everyone was looking for you." Said Tsukishima.

"No one was really looking for me." (Y/N) replied, clearing her nose.

"I didn't spend the last 3 hours tiring myself to scan the whole town for no reason." He sat beside her, handing the glass. "Care to spill the tea?"

(Y/N) drank first before speaking weakly, "I hate them. So much."

The male remained quiet, waiting for her to continue her dilemma.

"Remember when I told you and the class that I will be the most successful doctor in Japan after I finished my studies? It was a lie. It wasn't my dream to stay in a hospital and treat ill people, I only wanted to draw and paint. I didn't care if it never made them or anyone happy, I am happy doing it. And they are taking it away from me."

He knew from the start that her dream job as a doctor wasn't true. For years she stayed close to him as a friend or more, she won't blabber anything of the medical topic. She was terrified of syringes. He saw her reading an article about surgeries and like, but her focus was easily taken away.

She will get a pencil then start scribbling and drawing. Something that Tsukishima always sees her doing whenever she has a pen and paper, but she insists that it was a mere hobby. Her notebooks are well designed and organized, but the back is always full of artistic doodles instead of algebra solutions. She only has very few art materials yet she can make a portrait with only her fingers to shade. She makes digital art without a stylus. She would drag him to the museum after class to view some western and eastern paintings or any work of art while he admires the dinosaur fossils. For times she's watching an art tutorial and talk about art, draw and paint, she has those stupid sparkles in her eyes and a huge smile on her face.

"You know Tsukishima, after I finish studying and became a doctor, I'll become an artist and if the time let's it, I'll open my own art gallery. That's my ultimate dream." She looked alive and delighted.

Very much the opposite of what she looks like right now.

Even though she was a slave of art, as Tsukishima was a slave of his own interests, (Y/N) prioritized her studies so much. He understood why when he went to her house and met her parents before their study sessions. He had noticed everything but chose to stay quiet.

"I-I was drawing last night. Dad entered my room but I didn't notice so he ripped the music away from my ears and yelled. He said that I would always lock myself in my room and draw every night. It was never-ending and irritates the shit out of him. He asked why would I do something so useless that isn't even connected to any academic subject. He was looking down on my art like he was looking at a piece of crap. He told me to stop and threatened me if I didn't. Why would I get punished for drawing? I couldn't get myself to stay silent so I retorted. If he doesn't want to see me drawing, then he shouldn't enter my room at all. He should stop meddling with my hobbies. His anger only went up."

(Y/N) stopped for a while to wipe her tears and snot with her sleeves but Tsukishima placed a handkerchief on her hands. She muttered her thanks and blew her nose and soon followed with a sneeze.

"Soon, it became a full-blown argument. He said that he was checking out if I was doing my projects, but oh he was so disappointed only to find his daughter drawing for nothing. What the heck? I gave them the best grades I could get, and part of it was because of you, Tsukishima, but they still aren't satisfied? I balanced drawing and academics, but they made it seem that all I was doing was my hobby, completely ignoring my efforts at school. I finished the school activities and I reviewed for midterms and all I want is to be left alone and draw. What, they want me to go crazy by studying every hour with things I won't even apply in real life?"

Her fake laughter echoed in the kitchen for seconds before her depressed tone took over again.

"Mom heard all the shouting and joined the argument. Of course, she sided with dad without listening to my feelings and there they ridiculed their youngest child's interests and talent. They told me that everything I do is bullshit and wrong, that I was useless, that I was the huge opposite of their expectations, and... and how come God gave them a joke. She said they raised me so that I could help them, not to do such useless things. It hurts to shout back but I did to explain why I'm so passionate about art in hopes that they will listen and understand but, I was so wrong. I was suddenly slapped..." She placed her hand to her left cheek, her lips quivered a little.

"I-It stung so much. Mom complained about how the Internet generation is so rebellious and won't listen to the elders. They didn't raise and teach me to talk back at them, but here is their child being a bitch. They started comparing me to my elder siblings or relatives who focused on their studies and who are at the door of success. I know they only want me to achieve the best, but my success isn't up to them! It's on me!! And I've invested a lot for that! They shouted at me as mom pulled my hair. It was so loud I thought I was going deaf. Dad blamed the gadget's influence and my drawings. I have only drawn decent fanarts of fictional characters, people, and sceneries, but they believed that because of these, I turned into a mannerless bastard. So mom decided to get my phone and lessen my allowance so that I wouldn't buy any art materials that are a waste of fortune--"

She bit her lower lip that is trembling uncontrollably and her eyesight blurred as her fat tears got in the way.

"and... D-Dad... he... he... he tore m-my sketch pad apart..."

Tsukishima's eyes widened. (Y/N) brought that thing with her almost everywhere she went and it was filled with good drawings and art plans. She has a lot of them though, but Tsukishima could only imagine how she felt when her efforts were trampled over by someone important to her.

(Y/N) broke down, bawled her eyes out, and shrieked hysterically. He looked at her with a heavy heart. He had seen her crying sometimes, be it because of a sad movie or empathy, but never like this. A depressed, emotional wreck. Her eyes were sore enough after a lot of hours, but she won't stop crying. It was heartbreaking to see and hear his significant other in this state, yet Tsukishima didn't know what is the right thing to say.

But maybe there was no need to say anything at all.

Kei wrapped his arms around her weeping figure and pulled her towards him. Cry it out, pipsqueak. (Y/N) didn't expect this action, nonetheless cried in his shoulder He didn't care anymore if this meant he gets his clothes drenched in her snot and tears as long as she felt a little less lonely. He rubbed her back and hair in an attempt to comfort his lover. (Y/N)'s airways hurt, but she screamed the pain out, in hopes that the pain in her heart would vanish. Her weeping went on for long minutes until she choked in her own sobs that Tsukishima had to get her another glass of water.

"Tell me, Kei." She began, wiping her eyes, "Is there... something wrong with me? Is my dream really that insignificant?"

"There's nothing wrong with you. You followed your ideals. Anyone including me would've done the same." He answered beside her.

"I-It's realistic, right?"

"It is."

"Then... why did it turn out like this?" Her voice was cracking.

Tsukishima looked down, "The society is just very cruel."

"Yeah. It sure is. Such a cruel society to live with."

(Y/N) let out a dejected sigh and leaned on Tsukki's shoulder. "I couldn't look at them without such overwhelming fear and hate anymore. I wonder if... they knew that I was doing this for them. I'd like to make them smile with something I've made myself. Once, I made each of them a portrait. A realistic one made from a pencil. I couldn't afford a material set that can be used to paint realistically, but I tried my best to impress them with a charcoal one. Oh, if only you saw their faces when I gave them the portraits. They returned a half-hearted smile. It wasn't the same kind of joy I see whenever I give them perfect scores on tests. I didn't spend 3 sleepless nights just to see their half happy, half unpleased reaction. I wish they could feel more proud of their daughter who worked hard for them... I wonder if they threw it away as he did on my sketch pad..."

They let silence engulf the atmosphere for a while. (Y/N) had calmed down a little, despite shedding smaller tears from the side of her eyes. Tsukishima held the sweatshirt he gave her earlier to make her wear it on the top of her hoodie to lessen her shivering. He stared at her, while the other gazed down on the floor with dead eyes.

Tsukishima asked, "So, what are you going to do now?"

"What am I going to do now huh..." (Y/N) repeated. "I'll probably... put everything to an end."

"You know I won't let you."

"I'm not talking about my life, silly. I might stop drawing and all. I've lost it."

"Isn't your life and drawing one and the same? And I'm pretty sure you have that immense talent to continue."

"No... Besides, talent isn't a talent if it doesn't make anyone happy."

The blonde mentally scoffed. She just said that it makes her happy in the beginning.

"Oh? Fine, stop doing that one thing you put everything into. What would that girl you received a commission from would feel if she were to hear you though?"

(Y/N) was stunned. She had completely forgotten about the whole commission thing she opened in her social media accounts. Tsukishima accompanied (Y/N) on giving the commissioned charcoal portrait to a girl last 3 weeks ago. It was (Y/N)'s first commission for years she's making art. Someone liked her work for the first time and paid for it, and her client looks very contented and glad. The words she said filled her thoughts with inspiration.

"Wow, this is awesome! I'm so happy!! Thank you for making this, it was exactly what I've pictured on my mind! You're amazing! All the excitement I've bottled up for this day is so worth it," The girl, probably a little older than them paused and admired the painting she received from (Y/N).

"Would you ignore those words she said?"

'Please don't stop drawing, I'll be looking forward to your future works!'

A pang of guilt hit her chest. She wants to pursue art, but there are these shackles and chains on her limbs and around her neck that made it hard for her to move forward. She couldn't breathe. What happened yesterday night was too much. Her parents went overboard.

"B-But—"

A monotone voice interrupted her, "Don't. Never stop striving for something you have been building for years. You might be defeated now, but surely, you will win some time. There's no way you'll stay in the lowest level of the ladder after I saw how hard you worked. You will go to nationals again, and I will continue to support you. I'll cheer for you and stay by your side! So please, do not stop! Let me see those beautiful blocks that you execute in the game once more! And I will watch you reach the top! Doesn't matter how many times, I'll never get weary of watching you do amazing things!"

She was silenced by that statement. She had definitely heard those before, but couldn't quite remember where.

"Does the sentiment seem familiar to you? Those are the same words that came from your mouth when I was planning to quit volleyball after our huge loss to Date Tech last year. I am returning them back to you."

"Huh?" She replied with a meek voice.

"That time, you really did a good job meddling with my decisions. It annoyed me first, but what you had stated held a weight that I couldn't disregard. You gave me the small push I didn't know I needed. In the end, I'd like to pay you back." Tsukishima stated with a far away look in his eyes.

(Y/N) listened with watery eyes. This Tsukishima's side isn't definitely the one she gets to see every day so she couldn't feel anything but the warm, fuzzy feeling that is healing her heart.

"It's probably selfish for me to say this but, don't you dare give up. I didn't stop. No matter how long and hard the game is, no matter how tired and discouraged I get, and no matter how many pessimistic thoughts clouded my head, I didn't stop chasing after a falling ball and thinking of another tactic to counter the enemy. I kept your words with me in court. It was you who told me not to in the first place, and I'm not going to forgive you if you ever dropped everything. I won't let the stupid, starry-eyed (Y/N) die today."

The girl beside her started sobbing. "But you told me once that my drawing are ugly."

"Oh. That. I... kind of remember that. I'm not sorry about what I said because I did it to provoke and rile you up. It was a lie though. As someone who always sees you drawing, I can't call your work ugly at all. Your art is... astounding. You make it look like it's so easy to do. I think you forgot next sentence after I told you that."

"What was the sentence after?"

Tsukishima sighed, "I told you to keep doing it, right?"

The sound of (Y/N) crying engulfed the kitchen, "Oh gosh, why did I forget that... I'm sorry, I'm so idiotic..."

The blonde brought her back to his arms, "Will you stop crying, you've been too hard on yourself today,"

(Y/N) hid her face on his chest, muffling her speech, "c-couldn't help it... my mind is such a mess... I do not know..." She paused, coughing. "It's no use if m-my parents don't acknowledge me..."

"Hundreds, or perhaps thousands of people who follow you on social media account recognize you. People in school recognizes you. I recognize you. I am your ally. Isn't that enough reason for you to get back on your feet? I will support you just like how you supported me. You have a lot of people who admire you, but I only have a few people and you. Yet your words are enough. I'm certain that soon, you will reach your parents' standards and get them to acknowledge you. It's not impossible."

(Y/N) fixed her tear-stained face before looking up to him, "You know what? Who are you? Is a good spirit possessing your body? The Kei I know will either stay quiet or laugh at me for being pathetic."

"I was trying to be nice for once and this is what I get?" He frowned.

(Y/N) chuckled and hugged Tsukishima, "I'm sorry. Everything you said meant the world to me. Thank you very much."

She relaxed against his lean body, "I have a question though..."

"What?"

"You literally had no business in my art, it was my own problem. Why are you doing this?"

"Why don't you ask yourself after you argued with me that night? Why did you have to butt in with my choices?"

"Because you like volleyball! You might look like that someone stole your dinosaur collection when you're at practice, but you're good at it and have a future in it! It is a part of you, and you're deciding to throw it away? Your potential is too big to be wasted and I refuse to let that happen." Her voice is a little louder now, but hoarse.

"There's your answer, little gremlin."

"How is that— Oh."

"But I'd like to add something."

"What is it?"

"You look better doing what you really like. It makes you look less like a hag."

It was silent after that. (Y/N) punched his arm. Tsukishima didn't even wince but asked, "What was that for?"

"The last statement was unnecessary, and the first one is sweet yet cringey." She criticized.

"C'mon, I'm just a teenager. Aren't you the cringey one most of the times?"

She used the handkerchief to sniffle her runny nose away, "Why do you have a knack of returning everything I said to me?"

"I won't do it if it's not appropriate." Tsukishima placed his hands on her back and to her hair, "So, what are you going to do now, (Y/N)?"

"I'll think things through. My brain is still slightly messy, but I'll be fine, thanks to you. But Kei..."

He hummed as a response. "I don't want to go home. I want to run away."

"Not possible. You can't survive on your own. You're almost 18 and until now, you don't understand how a washing machine works with all your perfect scores in exams."

"This is just a thought. I didn't say I'll be alone. I'm taking you with me."

"I refuse."

"Why?"

"Couldn't you wait for more months until we graduate?"

(Y/N)'s eyebrows raised, "So basically, you're agreeing, but not this time?"

"No, but you'll be free of your parents' suffocating control. Who knows how huge is your potential by that time."

"How considerate of you." The girl smiled.

"Only this time. And no, we won't live in the same place in college. Not yet. Not until we finish our studies, have secured jobs, and get important things done."

"Will you be playing volleyball at college?"

He lazily replied, "Probably."

"Don't give me such an ambiguous answer!"

"Probably yes."

"Hmm. Fine by me. I'll continue to draw, then." (Y/N) rested her head near Tsukishima's neck.

He smiled a little at her answer, "Another thing though. I don't think... you should leave things with your parents like that. There'll be a time where you have to face it."

"Yes, that sucks... I don't want to think about it but I'll have to go back eventually... When that confrontation happens, I'll try to calmly talk it out with them. I will never be certain if it will end well. But my hate and fear of them won't change."

"You can always run back here if it didn't end well."

"Kei, don't want to see their faces just yet. Can I stay here for a while?"

"You even bother to ask. You are welcome anytime in this household. Just enter the house in the front door, not in my window."

"Right... thank you."

"Oh, now it's my turn to ask. How did you get in there?"

(Y/N) sighed, "It was on 4:30pm. I was on the loose and I looked for a store where anyone can't recognize me so I can eat for lunch. But there's this creep who kept on following me—"

"Did he hurt you?" He abruptly questioned.

"No. I ran as fast as I could before he could even get close to me, but in the next block, there were the town authorities with my mom, and I knew they were looking for me, so I blended into the people with my hoodie on and made my way. I climbed the tree in panic that they'll find me and hid there. It took me hours to notice that your house is just next to it, so I decided to climb to your window. However, the window was locked, and I was stuck."

Tsukishima sighed in relief. "It was a miracle that a klutz like you didn't fell off the tree and surprisingly, no one found you."

"I was high in adrenaline when I climbed the tree. My blending and hiding skills are in ninja-tier now, I beat you."

"Whatever. What did you have for breakfast?"

"...a melon bread."

"Just that?"

"Just that."

Tsukishima kissed her forehead before lifting her up with him. "Go change. Borrow any of my clothes. I'll reheat the food."

(Y/N) kissed his cheek, slowly got off him and went upstairs. Tsukishima opened his phone to text Yamaguchi about her situation and proceeded to reheat the spicy curry.

"Wait, Kei! Is it okay for me to eat?" She shouted from upstairs.

"What kind of question is that? Of course you can." He shouted back.

"Your mom left that for you, for your dad and for your brother. I'd feel bad."

"My brother and dad will come home late and I'm sure they've eaten already. So is mom."

"Are you sure? I can replace the food." She said while going down the stairs.

"Oh, you can cook? I'm afraid you'll burn the whole kitchen." He mocked.

"At least not the whole house." (Y/N) laughed, "Just kidding, I have a tiny knowledge in cooking."

"You don't have to, I told you they already ate. I'll bring out the sushi mom made if you still want to eat."

"Alright. Thank you for the food."

Few hours later, Tsukishima's mom came home and took off her shoes. "I'm home."

As she was about to enter the living room, Akiteru greeted her and placed his finger in front of his lips, indicating her to keep quiet. She wondered what was going on and saw her youngest son and his girlfriend leaning on his shoulder, asleep on the couch in front of the TV. He signaled her to read the note Kei left on the table.

To mom, dad, and brother,

Earlier in the morning, (Y/N) went missing and her parents and town authorities were looking for her. I found her on the way home, but it turns out that she ran away from her home because of an intense argument between her parents, and doesn't want to be found yet. Please let her stay here for a while. I'll do most of the household chores or any favor you ask me in return.

Mom, I shared the curry and sushi rolls with her. I left for some for dad and brother. (Y/N) said it was very delicious.

Love,

Kei.

She smiled after reading the note and looked at the sleeping kids. She took notice of (Y/N)'s eyes and quickly understood the situation. Before she left to rest in her room, she looked for a spare blanket and laid it atop them to keep them warm.

(Y/N) snuggled further to Tsukishima's arms, satisfied on how this night will end well, unlike yesterday's.

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mixelation · 4 years ago

Note

Oh wait brain starting to work again! For a prompt: Hinata runs away from home, because her home sucks, and ends up meeting Deidarai before he is forced into the Akatsuki.

.....I definitely already thought about a really close scenario to this and now I’m like: did I post that? was that in private chat? are you reading my mind??

Okay, so, my original thought was “Hinata gets separated from her team and runs into Deidara” but it also works if it’s “Hinata runs away.” She’s.... let’s say, 14-15 and Naruto has been gone from the village for a while so her usual source of inspiration is just gone and she’s having a hard time coping at home. She took the chunin exams again, and Shino and Kiba passed, but she hesitated and flinched and held back in too many ways during the tournament portion, and she failed. (Ignore whatever happened in filler episodes about them re-taking the exam. This is my AU.) So now everyone at home is extra horrible to her (except for Neji, who’s not actually good at being supportive or kind and is mostly just kind of neutral to her) and she is NOT FEELING GOOD, OKAY.

So she leaves. It’s sort of a whim, during a brief moment of Naruto-inspired bravery, and it’s also something she didn’t think through at all. She was out of the village on a mission, she saw a way she could just disappear into the woods, and she went for it. Now everyone in-village is losing their shit because there’s an UNSEALED HYUUGA loose in the WOODS. Kurenai gets in so much trouble. There’s a ton of search parties sent out.

.....and Hinata doesn’t even know any of this because she’s just fleeing. She also happens to have intimate knowledge of how tracker-nin in Konoha function because she’s on a tracker team and is doing a really good job of covering her tracks. She’s dropped her hitai-ate somewhere. She feels free for the first time, ever.

But then some Dastardly People do find out about the UNSEALED HYUUGA loose in the WOODS, and Hinata ends up captured by some super minor village and tossed in their singular holding cell, and... Deidara is also there.

Deidara is really offended he’s there. INCREDIBLY mad about it. Like, he got captured because someone has some tricky bloodline limit he should have totally beat if he weren’t distracted. He tells Hinata all about it in their cell, which they have to share, because the village is T H A T tiny. Hinata mostly just hums along with him in agreement, even when he switches to completely unhinged rambling about art. Hinata is good at just keeping her head down and agreeing, and Deidara appreciates this in a conversational partner.

Deidara springs for an escape pretty soon after she shows up. However, I want the details of the escape to include that Hinata and Deidara have been handcuffed together. This was probably done to PREVENT either one from escaping, since it’d be hard to do while chained to another ninja you don’t even know, but Deidara doesn’t care. Don’t you know who he is? Hmph!

Anyway, Deidara makes a break for it and Hinata is dragged along out of necessity. He keeps yelling about his clay, so she helpfully uses her byakugan to find out what they did with it because, oh my god, why are we running around the village instead of OUT of the village? Importantly: I want her to let Deidara run around like a chicken with its head cut off for like an hour before she reveals she can do this.

Deidara: wh-- whY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING TO BEGIN WITH Hinata: You just seemed so confident about where we were going....

And then Deidara blows the whole place up while Hinata watches in horror. She’s chained to a maniac. Help her.

Since Deidara conveniently killed everyone, they can take their time trying to get rid of the handcuffs. However, it’s ~magic plot device chakra handcuffs~ so they, like.... can’t get it off.

Deidara: Okay. Well. I have a bunch of tools at my workshop we can try. Hinata, internally: Actually I would much rather just cut off my own hand and run away from you forever, thanks. Hinata, externally: Oh, g-good.

So they have to navigate getting back to Deidara’s hideout while chained together. Deidara yells at her a lot. But instead of it being yelling about her being a failure and a disgrace, it’s mostly like: WHY ARE YOU JUST AGREEING WITH EVERYTHING I SAY? oh my god, you can do WHAT to cover our scent and it took you HOW MANY DAYS TO SAY ANYTHING?

Also he yells about how her opinions on art are uncultivated and bad. Hinata has no idea what he’s talking about, there.

But we do need some, like, bonding to happening here, so maybe while Hinata pointedly has her back turned so Deidara can take his turn bathing, he manages to bully some personal details out of her. She’s vague about where she’s from and who her family is (if Deidara thought about it for more than like 0.5 seconds he’d figure it out, but he’s a very self-centered dude), but she does talk about how running off was the first time she ever felt free and Deidara is like YEAH I GET THAT, SAME. My ART---

So that’s nice, even though, on the whole, Hinata has a very bad time all the way back to Deidara’s workshop. She’s looking forward to being unchained from him.

.....and then they’re back at Deidara’s place for maybe two hours before Akatsuki show up.

Deidara: WHY DIDN’T YOU WARN ME THERE WERE PEOPLE OUTSIDE Hinata: I tried but you were yelling. :(

Sasori tries the same recruitment speech but Deidara is like OKAY I AM HAVING MY OWN PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT and Hinata and Itachi are both mutually trying to process bumping into each other, which neither anticipated in any shape or form. Like, Hinata is like SCARY?? SCARY BAD?? SHOULD RUN WHY IS DEIDARA ARGUING WITH THEM SO CASUALLY?? and Itachi is like oh shit. oh fuck. how do i get them not to murder the hyuuga clan heir-- also how did this even happen

Anyway, Sasori tries to micromanage removing the handcuffs and then not even he can. Eventually Kisame is like, “I want to try too!” and Samehada can’t break them, and Itachi sigh and is like “move, i’ll do it” and then also fails. Like, the handcuffs are a really impressive piece of handiwork. Deidara has insulted everyone’s mother and screamed in Hinata’s ear a lot, and by the time someone gets the handcuffs off, then all like.... comfortable? with each other? Like have you ever had to work with a stranger to solve a problem, and then at the end there’s this weird sense of camaraderie? that.

....then deidara takes advantage of every being comfortable with each and grabs hinata and flees. he can fly, and also he sets off all the art in his workshop as he goes, so it’s a pretty effective strategy. When Hinata asks why he saved her too, he’s like, “well, i really liked what you said about feeling free--” and then he starts screaming about his art again

and hinata, to her horror, sort of gets what he means

#adrawatcher #hyuuga hinata #Deidara

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watermelonlipstick · 4 years ago

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Losing

This was written as a request for the eternally lovely @samwisethegr8. Hope you like it, baby! Idk where the chipmunk stuff came in, I must’ve had forests on the brain or something. As always, I’d love any advice or critiques!!

Title: Losing

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 3283

Summary: Losing her hair following a spell makes it challenging for the reader to feel like herself.

Warnings: swearing, fluff, hair loss

Dean knows better, by now, than to say anything about the beanie you straighten as you get into the backseat, giving you some soft eyebrows in the rearview mirror that are maybe worse than if he’d kept joking about it. Typical, for the spell making your hair shed like some cartoon pulling out fists in a temper tantrum to be one of the few you’d seen hang on after the casting witch died. You’d been doing research for weeks now on ways to get it back with nothing to show for your efforts except a few stomachaches from attempted potions (and one influencer-inspired collagen and ACV concoction you’d dumped out after feeling ridiculous). Sam had convinced you that getting back into the swing of things might make you feel better, and was trying a little too hard to be cheerful next to his brother in the front seat.

“The weather’s so nice today—sometimes you forget how good the sun feels, being in the bunker for a while.” He flashes a smile over to Dean expectantly, willing him to say something encouraging too. Dean looks exasperated for a fleeting second before relenting.

“Yeah, uh, great day for a drive.” You catch the tail end of his tiny eye roll in the rearview mirror.

“If you guys are going to treat me like an invalid I’m out of here.”

“Invalid? I just think it’s a nice day out,” Sam says, trying for indignancy through his put-on ignorance and not quite hitting it. Looking back at you over his shoulder, he’s able to hold onto it for about 2 seconds of eye contact before his face relaxes into more familiar kindness. “Okay, fine, sorry. I’m just happy you’re coming.”

He’s unphased by your glare back at him, keeps up the sympathetic puppy dog eyes because he knows your snark is coming from a pit of frustration and self-consciousness. Just like Dean’s tenderness of omission in not saying anything about it today, it’s simultaneously comforting and annoying. You feel a lump forming in your throat. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Sam seems a little hurt.

“Like I’m dying or something. Both of you. I’m serious, you’re making it so much worse.”

Dean catches your eyes in the reflection. “Kid, you just seem so fuckin’ bummed. It’s only hair, it’s probably even going to grow back.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not going fucking bald! So, are we going or are we doing group therapy in the driveway all day?” You can hear that you’re being too harsh but can’t muster up the energy to stop, flopping into the seatback with your jacket balled in your lap. Sam and Dean exchange a look and Dean turns the key in the ignition.

It really is a nice day, sun streaming through the windows of the Impala and cutting the still-slightly-chilly spring air just enough to be pleasant. You make a conscious effort to let go of your indignation, counting farm houses on the way out of town as a sort of meditation. Dean starts singing along to the Deep Purple tape playing, and when he catches a glimpse of your smirk he really hams it up, banging out the drum line on the steering wheel and pulling faces that would make Billy Idol jealous. After a few bars you can’t help yourself and start to laugh, the excited accomplishment that breaks through Dean’s act to light up his eyes sending a pang right to your heart. He holds his fist up in a facsimile of an invisible microphone to Sam, who plays along. By the end of the next song the Impala is rocking like Madison Square Garden, radio up so loud you can barely hear your own thoughts as you scream-sing until you’re laughing so hard you can barely catch your breath. The music changes over the next few hours, the volume turned down for snippets of conversation or debriefing about the upcoming case from Sam then back up for one of Dean’s favorite B-sides, and by the time the sun is going down you’re genuinely only thinking of how hungry you are while Dean turns into a diner that stands alone sharing a parking lot with a strip mall.

Dean’s two steps toward the restaurant by the time Sam has the back door opened to offer his hand to you. He looks surprised when you don’t take it right away, standing there awkwardly for an extended beat with his palm outstretched and his head tilted like a curious dog.

“I’m not going in.”

Through the windshield you can see Dean stop and turn back toward the car, jamming his hands in his jacket pockets like he thinks he’ll be waiting in the chilly evening for a while. Sam wraps his fingers around the top of the door and runs his other hand through his hair. “Babe, come on, it’s just some stupid diner. No one will even notice.”

“Sam, I’ll notice. Forget it. I’ll wait here, you guys go—grab me a sandwich or something.”

His lips tighten into a sympathetic but frustrated line and he looks over the car to his brother, who shrugs without taking his hands out of his pockets. Loud enough that you can hear him through the windows and around the car, Dean calls out, “How’re you planning on talking to the sheriff if you won’t even walk into a diner, hot shot?”

You match his volume. “Good point—I’m not planning on talking to the sheriff, I’m staying in the motel.”

Sam takes a deep breath and winces. “You don’t know anyone here and we’ll never see them again. You’ve gotta eat something. Please?”

“You’re not the fuckin’ Elephant Man, you’re a chick wearing a hat,” Dean offers loudly, absolutely not helping. Sam shoots him a look that says as much and clenches his jaw. Dean shrugs and opens his jacket with pocketed hands as if to say ‘what?’ Sam jerks his chin toward the diner and Dean nods, spinning lazily on his heel to walk in alone. When Sam moves forward, you slide over on the bench seat to allow him to sit next to you in the backseat.

“It’s just hair.” He says, low and soothing, just above a whisper. “You’re still the same person.”

You let your head roll back onto the seat behind you. “You don’t get it—my hair was the only pretty thing about me.”

Sam’s face contorts in disbelief like you’ve just told him not only are unicorns real, but you have one in your duffel bag. “What?”

“You heard me,” you repeat, training your eyes Dean through the diner window, winking at a woman in her mid-twenties whose cheeks are full and cherubic under bright, friendly eyes. You can see even from here that she bites the inside of her lip to keep from beaming back at him, holding onto his gaze for a beat longer than necessary before taking her tiny notepad back to the kitchen.

Sam shifts to put himself more directly in your line of sight. “Baby, the pretty thing about you is you. These hands are beautiful because they’re yours, because they, I don’t know, put an extra dryer sheet in with the laundry so it smells amazing, scratch Dean’s back when he can’t fall asleep. Your eyes are the first ones I want to see every day, not only because they’re beautiful—and don’t argue with me about this for once, please—but because they’re the same ones that always seem to notice that last symbol we’re looking for after I’ve read a stupid book of runes 400 times. Your lips—” he pauses, touching your lower lip with his thumb so light it could be a feather, “—are beautiful because they’re the only ones that I can hear your voice through. Was your hair beautiful? Of course. And it’ll be beautiful again.”

“You don’t kno—”

He rolls his eyes. “I do know, but even if it isn’t, you’ll still be you. You can borrow mine if you want.” Sam’s eyes are so earnest, so sweet as a tiny smile tugs at his mouth, that you can’t help yourself as you lean forward and press your lips to his. The way he kisses you back is such naked affection and relief, slipping a hand around the side of your neck to cradle your jaw, that it’s hard not to believe it’s how he really feels.

The moment is broken when Dean opens the driver’s side, startling you enough to take a sharp intake of breath against Sam’s cheek. “Quit sucking face and look alive,” he says, nonplussed as he hooks an arm over the front seat to hand you a paper bag filled with Styrofoam boxes.

“That was, ah, fast,” Sam replies, and it’s almost steady enough to hide the stammer.

“3 BLTs, not like they fucking built the Great Wall. Waitress in there said there’s a motel in the next town over, 10 minute drive.” He waits until you have the bag supported with a hand on the bottom and one taking the handle from him. Sam squeezes your thigh once before slinking back into the front seat, but Dean’s eyes stay trained on you. “Touch my fries and die.”

You manage to keep your mitts off everyone’s fries until you pull into Walnut Suites a few minutes later, thinking to yourself it sounds like some kind of hotel for squirrels and hope sort of absentmindedly it’s one of the kinds of motels that decorates to a theme; even when they’re stupid—maybe especially when they’re stupid—anything to break up the monotony of thousands of motel rooms over the years is welcome in your book. Sam coming out of the office dangling a room key attached to a plastic walnut is evidence that you might be in luck, and you grab the food as you get out of the backseat.

Dean already has your duffel bag slung over his shoulder. “This feels light; you bring your gun?”

You wait a second to see if he’ll figure it out himself, but Dean only raises his eyebrows and juts his chin out like you haven’t heard him. “Hardly need a blow dryer now, do I?”

If there was more light in the parking lot you’d probably have been able to see Dean’s cheeks flush as he cleared his throat to cover. “Uh, right. Do still need a gun though, so as long as you’ve got that.” He offers Sam his bag and shuts the trunk as his little brother reaches the parked car.

“Apparently we’re in the chipmunk room.” Sam’s going for above-it-all but he knows you secretly like this kind of shit and drops the key into your palm with a wink. “It’s the only one with queens instead of fulls.”

“Whatever,” Dean grumbles. “I’m hungry enough I’d eat a damn chipmunk.”

“What does that even mean?” Sam asked, annoyed in a way only a sibling can be as the brothers trail after you to the room.

“That I’m fucking hungry, what do you think?”

“A chipmunk is like, the smallest animal you could possibly say. It doesn’t make any sense; anyone could eat a chipmunk.”

“You trying to chow down on a chipmunk kabob, Sammy? Aren’t you like 99% vegan now? It’s the principle of the thing.”

Sam rolls his eyes in over the top sarcasm. “Yeah, I’m vegan now, that’s why I’m about to eat a BLT with mayo, dumbass.”

“Bacon doesn’t count. And it’s about timing; you said chipmunk room, I said I could eat a chi—you know what, I’m not explaining this to you. You either understand comedy or you don’t.”

As you open the door, the light from the room illuminates Sam’s bitch face kicking back on his neck. Winchester bickering had already put a smirk on your lips but the décor was everything chintzy you could’ve hoped for; forest embroidered quilts on the beds and a chain of hand-holding chipmunks that appeared to be hand painted in a waist-high border around the walls. The bed frames were made of those stripped logs that could look very chic in otherwise minimalistic Scandinavian architecture, but here they looked impossibly cute and dorky with chipmunk stuffed perched on each bedpost. Dean seems not to notice any of it at all, throwing his duffel on the bed closest to the door and snatching the bag of food out of your hand.

The three of you eat watching Alf while sprawled on various furniture. When the half-hour flips the programming over to Mork and Mindy, you offer Dean the rest of your fries and get up to stretch your back. “Either of you dying to use the bathroom? I want a shower.”

Both shake their heads so you grab your ditty bag and head to the reasonably sized bathroom, trying not to be startled at the large Chip and Dale portrait painted onto the back of the door that reveals itself in the mirror when you go to set your things down. It’s clean and the water pressure is good, which is far more than you can say for many similar places you’ve stayed in, and you linger in the shower longer than you need to, shaving your legs twice for an excuse to stay under the water and out from under the oppressive weight of your self-consciousness here where the boys can’t see you. Washing your remaining hair as quickly as possible and chuckling once, mirthlessly, at the lingering reflex to squirt the amount you used to need into your palm, you finally leave the shower with only momentary nausea at the amount of hair you have to grab from the drain to let the water empty. For the ever-growing list of pros and cons for shaving your head you’d been building in your head: no more shucking these sopping hairballs into tacky little wastebins across America. You wrap a towel into a turban around your head more as a reflex of propriety than anything, marveling again at the amount of rituals there are—were—around hair. Maybe being unburdened by that would be freeing. And it feels sentimental in an annoying pseudo-useless way staying attached to the hair that remains, like lingering in the victimization of this stupid spell when you could just as easily shave your head and be done with it, become some kind of Tank Girl badass version of yourself and pretend you’re too cool and tough to care about girly shit like ponytails and the way Sam held his nose to the crown of your head sometimes, took a deep inhale of you and smiled so you could feel it laid on top of your hair like a tiara more precious than any you could imagine. In any case it won’t be right now, so you throw the loose t-shirt you’d gotten from your bag over the towel on your head and slip on some athletic shorts before heading out to the room.

You were in the shower for even longer than you thought because Dean is in his standard “just-before-sleeping-on-the-road” outfit, having lost the flannel he wore that day as well as his belt. The jeans will come off just before he gets in bed, pooled on the floor with neatly set boots beside the mattress so he can jump into them like a firefighter if he needs to, an old habit that you’d stopped making fun of the Winchesters for when it actually had come in handy a few times. Sam usually folds the jeans and sets them on top of his boots next to your bed. Dean grabs one of your hands and flips it over for inspection as you walk by. “Surprised you’re not a raisin. Going to send this county into a drought.”

You roll your eyes good-naturedly and toss your toiletries on your bag as you head to your bed, watching Sam brush his teeth in the kitchenette sink. Dean follows with a tight handful of clean tee and boxers as Sam comes back to you, the younger Winchester grabbing the back of his collar to tug off his t-shirt and toss it on top of his bag in one fluid motion before folding back the sheets and getting in. Over your shoulder, the shower turns on and you can hear Dean humming through the door. The beanie you’d taken off was exactly where you’d left it, and you flipped your head over to take off the towel on your head and replace it with the hat as inconspicuously as possible.

“Babe, you don’t—” Sam starts softly, stopping when he sees you turn back to him with your jaw set.

“Can we just go to sleep?” you reply, almost succeeding at keeping the sting out of your voice. He bites his lip and nods mostly to himself, flicking the covers on your side back in invitation. You crawl in, turning your back to him partly to be wrapped up by the warm shell of his body and partly so he can’t see your face. A large hand covers your hand where it lays on your sternum, intertwining your fingers in his and pulling you back into him a touch. After a long minute of listening to the shower-dampened noise of Dean going through Skynyrd’s greatest hits, you feel Sam’s voice through the knit on your head.

“I feel like we’re camping.”

“What?” you ask, genuinely confused.

“You wearing a hat to bed, you only do that when it’s freezing.”

“I really don’t want to tal—”

“I know you don’t, but I just…you’ve been boxing me out for weeks now. Listen, I know I don’t get it, I know it’s not the same as if it had happened to me, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, but I don’t care about your hair. I mean—fuck—not like that, I care about it because I care that it’s affecting you, but I just wish I could get you to understand that nothing about the way I think of you has changed. You’re always going to be the sweet, funny, badass girl I’m beyond lucky lets me hang around. It’s like this spell took your hair but the real punishment is putting this wall up around you.”

You take a deep breath to steady your voice and realize there’s no way you’re going to be able to talk without it cracking, instead just yanking the hat off your head and letting it fall to the ground beside Sam’s jeans. He hesitates for a second before pressing his face to you, and you can feel the smile against your scalp. It’s a struggle, but you manage not to wince when he kisses a spot you know is effectively completely bald.

“You smell good,” he murmurs against you, and you don’t know why it’s that simple statement, after all the flowery poetic things he’s said for weeks and especially today, but there’s something about the total acceptance, no hint of the disgust you thought was inevitable no matter how hard he tried to insist wasn’t there, that melts you. It’s enough to unwrap some of the defensive prickliness you’ve built up, and the amount of emotional energy you’ve been putting into keeping it there dissolves the way it sometimes does the second your body realizes the adrenaline of a hunt is no longer needed and you crash in the backseat of the Impala. The heat from Sam’s body and the delicate sound of his heavy breathing on your neck puts you to sleep before Dean’s out of the shower.

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