#but youre fucking right!!!!!
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not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]
#'your moon is here' things that make me explode like a supernova#UGHHHHHHH what if i was perpetually in your orbit. influencing the tides. protecting you from asteroids. and slowly drifting further away.#then you stopped moving and i was only pulse to your dead heart. orbiting you. right where ive been left. and so you started turning again.#ria.txt#personal#space opera au#(<- not about what you think is about)#hiiii this is gaining traction so glad we're all going insane :D your moon is here is SO fucked up. so good.#xkcd#randall munroe#space#moon#anyways xkcd comics are so good. entertaining witty and informative. check em out!#ok this is about false and ren from hermitcraft#falseren
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The worst trauma comes from those who you love
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle Stan#the pines twins#tw stan#genuially was hard drawing that last panel cause it kept freaking me out#ptsd guy meme#No ford did not jork it heās just a nerd who gets nerd magazines#based off those pop teen magazines from the 2000s#sea grunkles#yeah this joke has been beat to death but idc#comic practice#I fucked up which hand was holding the box oops#uhhh ignore that#trigonometry is a ridiculously hard word to fit onto anything#āthatās not a right angleā YOUR MOMS NOT A RIGHT ANGLE#it was in fact NOT right for him#get it
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The movie Wicked is proof that any source material can be vastly improved by simply making the intense female friendship much gayer + the mutual male love interest both wildly bisexual and lowkey down to just be their third
#i canāt believe they improved Fiyeroās character so much just by making him intensely into both women at the same time asdakdga#Elphaba: *screaming at people*#Glinda: yeah baby you tell em! my girlfriend is gonna kick your ass!#Fiyero: god Iām so fucking turned on right now why am I so turned on by this#ideal dynamic tbh#i have other much more meaningful thoughts on this movie but this was so funny I had to post it#It was a very very good movie ngl#wicked#wicked movie
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Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day#and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back.#he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi#he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes#but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them.#and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him.#your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back.#i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently
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to any americans who feel "paralyzed" and "dont know what to do" to help with gaza:
reading a fucking book. i beg of you.
in a time of knowledge suppression is it your duty to arm yourself with knowledge.
read about americas occupations in the middle east.
read about 9/11 from outside of america and see how they inflicted senseless harm and violence to countless amounts of people and have been suppressing your rights for the past 2 fucking decades.
read about any of the countless wars from the past 30 years. especially from a civilian's. and the victims and survivors' perspective. listen to the horror stories and do not plug your fucking ears as to what your country is doing.
and read about fucking gaza and palestine and keep up with what is happening no matter how "sad" or "uncountable" you might get.
dont look away from this.
you dont have the right to be comfortable during countless active genocides.
if you're knowledgeable, you're powerful, and our current state doesnt fucking want that.
you have the power to change things if you open your eyes and scream to the world.
wake the fuck up.
Edit: please check the reblogs there are readings and ways to help
#og#truly if youre not about it your against it and i dont fuck with you because you're complacent#wake the fuck up#we're all responsible and dont you dare say you're not#americans need to stop living in the world with their eyes closed and their ears covered#look at what your fucking 'glorious country' is doing to people#everyone should be against america no fucking exceptions because america is violent and evil and needs to be stopped#then read about what america has done to the natives of their land#radicalize yourself#decolonize your mind#free palestine#land back#palestine will be free#theres too many fucking movements of just the past couple years all happening at once to act like the world is fucking fine#we are in a human rights CRISIS#WAKE THE FUCK UP PLEASE
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Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.
They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Lifeā¢, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.
So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.
#We will fight them on the shores in the trenches etc etc etc#I know it's been said before but the people who said it were right to beat back fash for whatever else they weren't right about#Fuck these fucking little bastards who want to rule our fucking lives and destroy our communities#They've got too much power as is and right now is our moment to crush them and take it back#If you're not into Harris fine work to kick the GOP off your city council they're shitty little gremlins there too I guarantee it#(Hell if you're in LA there's two good chances to swap a shitty Dem for a good dem on the council)#But it's time to fucking break their necks and if we do it here the worldwide movement of these fuckers is gonna follow#Not because we're particularly special but because our fascists are pretty large exporters of the stuff#A loss for them is going to shred their party this unholy alliance is already fraying between the fundamentalists and the tech ghouls#Let's magnify that shit for them by making them eat it.#Don't mind me I'm just sick of these fucking ghouls and ready to make them suffer for what they've tried to do#All implied violence in this post is metaphorical ;)
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Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).
Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!
If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.
#'dyi hrt its fine anyone can'. Tell me you dont know or care doing that with T will get you time in prison and a permanent criminal record#stop passing posts saying to do this without this warning on it. This kind of charge ruins lives and monkey business CANNOT be relied on#'just trust that they are overworked enough to not check they filled it out right and that they will buy your lie'#the second they catch on you are FUCKED. The consequence is not 'uwu you just wont get more extra' its a court date and a cop up your ass#it is NOT fearmongering to say this. do not fuck around with controlled substances when there is a PAPER TRAIL??? HELLO?#do you want access to meds permanently revoked? A mark like that is how you get doctors to not want to give them to you Forever#wayward rambling#rebloggable but clowning will get the post locked
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How I sleep knowing I always cite my sources:
(First image from the film Drip Dippy Donald (1948); second image from season 4, episode 3 of the Simpsons, āHomer the Hereticā (1992).)
#the irony of me making this post and tracking the sources down at 2am is not lost on me#but it does prove how easy this shit is if Iām doing it with my eyes half closed#James cite your fucking sources#james somerton#hbomberguy#plagiarism#plagiarism and you(tube)#why are you booing me iām right
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yesterday I went to a little meeting at my local queer community center and I was admiring their bookshelves and mentioned that I work at the public library and someone said "well I bet they don't have any [LGBTQ+ books] at our library" and I was like um. yes we do. we have tons of them. half of our employees are queer leftists so they said "oh well I bet they don't in [nearby rural county]" and I was like uh once again yes they absolutely do. gay people live and work there as well
so here's a quick reminder that if you don't think your local library has enough queer centered materials you should actually check before assuming, and if you're not satisfied with their collection you should submit a request for more such books. I don't know what the political landscape of libraries looks like outside the us rn, but within the us no matter where you are, I promise you there are employees at your library fighting for inclusion and intellectual freedom and they can't win without vocal public support
#literally maddening thing to hear#we were fucking at pride this year#i know missouri is a hell hole but there are people working really fucking hard to make it better and we could use some support here#just fucking go to your local libraries website right now literally right this second#and look around#you may be shocked at the stuff you discover there
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nah i don't fuck with ai generated fics because y'all don't sit there for weeks in front of your blank doc and cry like the rest of us
#smh#or get a shower thought in the middle of the night before an exam and have to write it because if you dont write it youll forget#or be so in your head that you don't update a piece for 3 months#like fuck right off
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when you're part of a group with structural power over another goup, you really do gotta just learn to say "i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant" whenever someone expresses frustration with you or people like you.
#juney.txt#like sure to protect your ego you could try to make up some axis of oppression that concievably means you're not accountable for anything#and how dare people from colonized nations tell you that you have it easier than them just because you live in the imperial core#or how dare trans women say you have it easier than them because no matter what it'll always be your word against a tranny's#or you could just learn to be a little uncomfortable for a moment#and look at the situation for a second and say#''you know what? they're right to be frustrated!''#''and it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things if they're frustrated at me''#''especially if i'm being a prime example of the things they're getting frustrated about''#''i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant''
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It's insanely sad to read post after post of gentiles talking about how at least we all have each other and all we can do now is draw strength from our queer and leftist communities bc Jews literally cannot do this. Like you all completely and so utterly turned your backs on Jews this year and we have no one. Except other Jews. Who make up 2% of the American population. It's so great for you all that you can hold hands and sing Kumbaya but you made supporting Hamas and retweeting twitter funny men with literal terrorist hate symbols in their usernames normal. So no some of us cannot draw strength from the queer and leftist communities. Some of us just have to sit here and take it as you all reassure each other that none of this is your fault even though it so obviously is.
#gingerswagfreckles#leftist antisemitism#antisemitism#I'm so fucking bitter#Ohhh it's not the fault of the brave antisemities who campaigned all year to keep people home that young people didn't vote#Like at fucking all!!#Be so fucking for real right now yes it fucking is your fault screw you guys#And stop sucking your own dicks jfc#jumblr#jewblr
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Solas, outnumbered seven to one, overpowered by a lot more than that, betrayed by his best friend Mythal who bound him to her service and coerced him into leaving the Fade and coerced him into making a weapon that would make an entire people tranquil to stop the war she started AND ignored him when he said it would create *checks notes* a blight and made him do it anyway. Solas, facing seven blighted wannabe gods who turned on his best abusive friend Mythal when she finally stood up to them after CENTURIES of him begging her to do just that and starting a rebellion to free all their multitudes of slaves: *creates the veil, imprisons the blight and the Evanuris, and preserves all life in Thedas* World: FUCK THE DREAD WOLF, GOD OF TREACHERY AND LIES *worships the Evanuris and their dragon thralls*
Solas: zzzzzzzzzz (knocked out cold from saving the world for LITERALLY SEVERAL MILLENNIA MORE)
Tevinter: *razes what's left of Elvhenan, steals all their magic, enslaves the elven people for entire length of Solas's world-saving-induced coma*
Also Tevinter: *breaks into the fucking black city and brings out the blight*
Also also Tevinter: *uses so much blood magic that the veil ends up in tatters*
The Blight: >:)
World: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *throws everything they can at the blight, including--*checks notes again*--the blight
Orlais: you know what sucks? elves. let's kill them all
Ferelden: good shout, mes amis
Orlais: you know what also sucks? mages. put them in prisons.
Ferelden: you're full of good ideas when you're not invading us
Free Marches: MAGE PRISON, YOU SAY?
Orlais: add templars who can decide to murder them or make them tranquil on a whim at any moment
Ferelden and Free Marches: *frantically taking notes*
Rivain and Nevarra: we're just going to be...over here...
Blights 1-5: i've got a great idea i've got a great idea
Blights 1-5 after a while: my great idea didn't work :(
Archdemons 1-5: ....... :(
Evanuris 1-5: ......... :(
Solas, waking up in 9:40ish Dragon: what the...WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCKING FUCK. they can just KILL MAGE CHILDREN? AND PURGE ALIENAGES? AND ALMOST EVERY ELF IN TEVINTER IS A SLAVE? *absolutely rabid, seeks out the Dalish, as remnants of his people*
The Dalish, at Solas: *ARROWS*
Solas: ......fuck this shit, fuck all of this shit, fuck these tyrants in particular, fuck this fucking...UGH
The veil, after all this: (o.O:0oO.)
The remaining blighted Evanuris and the 99% of blight that did not escape: :)
Solas: well, that is a problem, going to need to address that ASAP, but turns out millennia of coma doesn't leave a spirit spry
Corypheus, busting out of warden jail: I AM FREE
Solas: hm, could kill that guy letting him unlock my orb, since he broke into my blight prison in the first place and defo deserves dying
Corypheus: veil needs a certain je ne sais quoi, a...bigger hole. i will make one.
Wardens: yes, good plan, blighted magister man. we are in control of the blight inside us and also heroes *in death, sacrifice = divine justinia's ritual sacrifice under thrall*
The veil:
O
Corypheus: >:( but like...not dead
Solas: well, i did not see that coming
Lavellan: *in chains, threatened with execution*
humans: KNIFE EAR >:(
Lavellan: *hole in the sky, hole in her memories, hole in her fucking hand* fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, wait, this hole in my hand helps close holes in the SKY
Solas: *.* It seems you hold the key to our salvation
Lavellan: i'm sorry what
humans: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!! *falls to knees*
Lavellan: I'M SORRY WHAT
Chantry: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra: time for you to decide the fate of the world
Lavellan: I'M. SORRY. WHAT???????? you know what? fine. *stops alexius from blood magicking his way through redcliffe and time itself, gets punted into a hellscape of nightmares and makes it back with the help of a rebel tevinter mage* the mages i rescued from becoming probable slaves to tevinter are our allies and dorian is my new best friend for being the only reason i made it back alive and the whole world didn't die *dabs*
Cassandra: >:(
Mother Giselle: >:(
Lavellan: ffs
Corypheus: *dragon temper tantrum*
Lavellan: *somehow escapes both dragon and Corypheus, trudges through blizzard, collapses*
Mother Giselle: *.* I FEEL A SONG COMING ON
Literally everyone but Solas: *falls to their knees*
Solas: a word?
Lavellan: OH THANK HEAVENS
Solas: these people are wack and aren't going to like that Corypheus is using elven magic *cough*, they're a hairsbreadth from executing us at all moments lol, btw here's a castle, you know, for you cos i highkey see myself in you and god i'm so fucking lonely
Lavellan: me too but wait, what the fuck is happening. you know what? fuck it. solas, what if we kissed,,, in the fade
Solas: what IF we kissed,,, in the fade *fade tongue*
Solas: ...you continue to surprise me. you show a wisdom i have not seen...since my deepest journeys into the fade!
Lavellan: don't you dare walk away from me now
Solas: okay vhenan i stay
Vivienne: this is a DEMON and NOT A PET
Lavellan: *blinks* right, no, this spirit kid who is the literal only reason we escaped Haven alive is my son now. if he hadn't read roderick's mind we'd all be avalanched or blighted dragoned, so SUCK IT UP
Vivienne: >:(
Cassandra: >:(
Sera: >:(
Bull: >:(
Varric: >:(
Solas: :D
Wardens: btw we're doing blood magic and raising an army of demons. not really our fault but also not NOT our fault? idk, blight in the blood, morally grey area. get it? grey...war--never mind, we'll be at adamant xoxo
Cullen: lotsa soldiers gonna die
Lavellan: fuck, is there another choice?
Advisors: ...no
Cory's dragon: *burninating the adamant, burninating the wardens, burninating all the people and this crumbling ROCKY BRIIIIIIDGE! CRUMBLING ROCKY BRIDGEEEEE*
Lavellan, flying through the air hundreds of feet towards the ground: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *opens a rift into the fade*
Everyone but Solas: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WE'RE IN THE FADE
Solas: we're in the FADE!!!!!
Lavellan, after escaping the nightmare's lair: glad half the team is pissed at me, what's next, an imperial ball? how hard can that be?
Orlesians: they invited an ELF SAVAGE >:(
Lavellan: you know what, fuck this and fuck Celene for genociding the entire Halamshiral alienage and fuck you, Gaspard, you can be Briala's little French Orlesian bulldog
Half the Inquisition: *shocked pikachu*
Morrigan: allow me to shemsplain all of elven history to everyone, including Solas, yourself, and all the ancient elves in this temple
Lavellan: you know what? okay. *rubs at Mythal's vallaslin, makes eyes real big* who is this "Mythal"
Solas: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra, muttering: i do not want to do a ritual to a false god
Morrigan: lemme have the well, lemme have it, i deserve it more than you
Lavellan: ...abso-fucking-lutely not *drinks from the well out of pure spite*
Solas: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, VHENAN
Lavellan: idk vhenan, this world sucks and i wanna make it better and i love you
Solas: ...you are everything and you inspire me, hurry, i need to tell you i'm the dread wolf but am going to break up with you and remove your slave markings instead and btw they're basically a drawing of me in my true form and honestly, this whole thing is real fucked up and you're the only real person in my entire life who sees me
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i'm bad and don't deserve you and had to harden my heart to save the world before and everyone hated me for it so i'm projecting when i say you must harden your heart to a cutting edge to kill Corypheus, I'll explain after we kill him
Lavellan: ...oh yeah guess we should do that but I gotta go meet Mythal first
Solas: wait what
Mythal: *is Morrigan's mum, is only mostly dead, also 100% cool with overriding her servants' will entirely for shits and giggles, 0/10 do not trust* i'll help you if you fight this dragon lol
Morrigan: *choking in the corner*
Corypheus: *has a mahoosive temper tantrum when Mythal's pet dragon kills his pet dragon, dies*
Solas: ;-; ilu, inky, what we had was real but i'm afraid to do to you what Mythal did to me. I MUST AWAY
Lavellan: ....
World: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*some restrictions may apply, like in a couple years we're going to forget everything you did and be real mad at you
Solas, somewhere: been there, vhenan
World, two years later: :D we're here to hate you, right on schedule
Qunari: you are in need of the gentle path. therefore, we are coming to kill you all
Solas: like hell you will. but come to think of it, this is a good excuse to see vhenan again
Lavellan's arm: TIME TO DIE
Solas: defo another good excuse to see vhenan again. probs should study that arm anyway
Lavellan, after several Qunari too many: CAN ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD STAY FIXED
Inquisition, including Divine Victoria: *shocked pikachu*
Lavellan: i'm going back through the fucking looking glass to talk to some ancient elven sentinels with Mythal's magic whisper well, they're the only fucking thing that makes sense here
Qunari: *destroying everything in sight but getting hounded by the dread wolf at every step*
Lavellan, whose arm is trying to kill her but is following Qunari through her own people's magic mirror world: ...i think i'm in love with the dread wolf
Companions: pfffffft
Cole: :D YES, YOU ARE AND HE LOVES YOU TOO
Lavellan: thank god i have you, cole, my spirit son
Solas, in a statuary garden of petrified Qunari: i suspect you have questions
Lavellan: honestly, fen'harel, not really
Solas: *shocked pikachu* well done
Lavellan: i'm real tired and you could have just trusted me back in Crestwood.
Solas: this world is broken, i must tear down the veil
Lavellan: yep, i'm one "knife ear" away from putting a knife in the next human's ear who says it tbh, i'd rather live in the fade with you and my spirit son, can i help you pls vhenan
Solas: ...no
Lavellan: wtf
Solas, internally panicking because he followed Mythal wherever she went and she dragged him to literal hell and trauma and now his one true love is offering to follow him while he probably makes things worse again: absolutely not, no, but i love you forever
Lavellan's arm: >:(
Solas: ...right, i gotta take that
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i will never forget you *trundles through mirror with severed arm*
Lavellan: oh fuck my entire life, you know what, Ferelden and Orlais? Inquisition is no more, i'm going on sabbatical to Stone Bear Hold where at least people are not insane and Storvacker loves me, and then i'm going home to the castle vhenan gave me. don't call me. byeeee
ten years later
Varric: gonna go stop Solas, who invented the veil and is From Fade, from doing things i don't understand, wish me luck, inky
Lavellan: WAIT ONE GODDAMNED SECOND I'M COMING WITH YOU
Varric: no <3 i found a complete rando who will fuck everything up
Rook: hey, what if i drop a statue on this nuclear arsenal protecting the biggest biological weapon of mass destruction known to all of thedas? that'll help
Neve, a literal mage who should know even small rituals can blow up and kill you: probs not a good idea but Varric, a dwarf who knows nothing about magic or the veil or the Fade whatsoever says this ritual must be stopped At All Costs By Any Means Necessary so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Varric: Solas I will shoot you with Bianca
Solas: ffs stop *breaks Bianca*
Varric: can you promise me your way is better
Solas: i know way better than to make promises like that, have you seen this world???
Varric: GOTCHA, YOU LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Rook: TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRR
Varric: defo going to attack the guy whose millennia of existence has been centred on this massive magical problem i do not even comprehend a little after waiting ten years to ask a single question about it when he'd already got going *tries to stab Solas*
Solas, feeling everything he's spent all of world history protecting the world from breaking out of jail: turns the dagger and stabs Varric instead
Elgar'nan: >:)
Ghilan'nain: >:)
Solas: oh for fucking FUCK'S SA--*exit, stage Fade Jail*
Blight: >:)
Rook: oops
Neve and Harding: omg this could not possibly be our fault at all, not even a little. it's Solas's fault, the lying liar who lies
Lavellan: i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child
Morrigan: we have to help the stupid child
Lavellan: we have to help the stupid child
Morrigan and Lavellan: *look at each other*
Lavellan: when this is over, i stg--
Morrigan, who has millennia of memories of Mythal abusing Solas and decades of Flemythal abusing her: yeah no i will throw you a going away party and take care of Dorian for you and help you get your boyfriend back and no way will i fight him, this is actually ridiculous
Ferelden, Orlais, and the Free Marches, all of whom turned on Lavellan ten years ago: hELP help HELP there's BLIIIIIGHT
Lavellan to Leliana: you owe me a hundred gold
Leliana: *hands over a solid gold nug*
Ferelden: X_X
Orlais: X_X
Free Marches: X_X
Lavellan: *grits teeth* i better go meet with rook
Rook: andaran atish'an, honoured inquisitor
Lavellan: yo. sure would be nice to be meeting without our gods, you know, destroying absolutely everything i've spent a quarter of my life protecting and rebuilding after the last apocalypse but here we are i guess
Morrigan: *smirks at shade*
Northern Thedas: ROOK IS THE BEST
Southern Thedas: is rook tho
Ghilan'nain: muahahaha i have so many drago---nooo you killed my dragons and i am BLEEDING LIKE A MORTAL PIECE OF MORTAL SCUM
Elgar'nan: my dragon used to be bigger :(
Ghilan'nain: your dragon's fine
Elgar'nan: Ghilly, make it bigger again
Ghilan'nain: can't, too sad. blood. :(
Southern Thedas: *throwing nugs at blight* hELP
Lavellan, with half of Southern Thedas crammed into skyhold: thanks for the castle, vhenan, we'd all literally be dead without it, again
Morrigan: erm, Inky? seems everyone's telling Rook Solas is just a big monster lying liar who lies and blaming him for everything
Lavellan: that's what people do, blame Solas. had a bad day? blame Solas. Mythal wants to sever the titans' dreams? Blame Solas. Rashvine nettle sting? Blame Solas. Bring the veil 5/7 or so of the way down themselves after releasing the blight? Blame Solas. Rook let the gods out? Blame Solas
Morrigan: Inky.
Lavellan: you want me to go pour out my heart to the person who imprisoned vhenan and let out Ghilan'nain, Mother of Tentacles, and Elgar'nan "My Dragon is Bigger than Your Dragon" First and Worst of the Evanuris, don't you
Morrigan: yee
Lavellan: FINE but you better spill every ounce of tea you've got on the stupid child before i go because i need to at least make rook squirm a LITTLE
Morrigan: i thought you'd never ask
Elgar'nan: you won't make my dragon bigger??? fine i'll move the moon instead
Northern Thedas: i'm sorry what
Anyone at sea anywhere on the planet: I'M SORRY WHAT
Ghilan'nain: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Elgar'nan: >:(
Solas: fuck this shit, i'm getting out of Fade Jail
Rook: :(
Minrathous: fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK
Solas: hello, people who enslaved my people for millennia, i am here to save the day i guess
Minrathous, slapping blight tentacles out of their faces: ...honestly thank you
Solas: wait what
Rook: I ESCAPE FADE JAIL SOLAS YOU BASTARD LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Lavellan: i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child
Solas: you know what, fair play, here's the dagger, there's elgar'nan, ima bite his dragon, you go have a great time. have fun storming the blight tentacle
Venatori, poster children for the Leopards Who Eat People's Faces Party: nooo the leopards keep eating our faces
Minrathous: wow who could have possibly predicted that
Everyone who has ever met a Venatori: yes, yes, very sad
Elgar'nan, eating every face in the magesterium and effectively cleansing Tevinter of the worst of its monsters in one fell swoop: ah, rook, you can't kill me, i have the biggest dragon ever to dragon
Dread Wolf: honestly he's kinda not wrong, this dragon is a bastard and i am like a fifth of its size and getting p tired, ngl
Rook's Blighted Companion: welp gonnae put this trauma to use for the greater good. go go gadget blight tentacles, release the Dread Pupper
Elgar'nan: *shocked pikachu*
Dread Wolf: *chomp*
Elgar'nan: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Solas: oh ffs finally
Rook: not so fast
Solas: oh ffs here we fucking go
Rook: i don't actually want to fight you
Solas: wait, what
Rook: i think this is all my fault but everyone keeps telling me i'm the hero and that's fucked up. and your vhenan, she's nice to me, no one really else is, i'm just everybody's apocalypse therapist, and i even kinda like you tbh, my whole team basically does fun stuff without me and doesn't even invite me to book club and emmrich's the only one who asks me about my feelings instead of just asking me to do stuff for them, and anyway, i'm going to trust the inquisitor here because i'm honestly starved for connection and she thinks you're worth saving so can we talk i don't wanna fight
Solas: what
Lavellan, out of sight, reliving the litany of "i will not murder this stupid child": oh haha awkward
Solas: look,,, i've been bound to the service of an ancient elvhen god for millennia and everything i do, whether i know it or not, is for her, so i can't do what you want and this sucks
Lavellan: even if i'm here, walking the din'an shiral with you?
Solas: ...vhenan
Lavellan: ;_;
Solas: ;_; ...I cannot
Morrigan: yo dread wolf, my mum's a piece of work and i have all her memories and everything she did to you was fuuuuuuuuucked up, anyway, over to her, honestly not pissed you killed that part of her btw, she reeeeally fucked you up, but rook somehow managed to talk her out of her essence, so that's impressive
Solas: what
Mythal: yeah i kinda tore you out of your home and twisted you from your purpose and made you do murder and worse for me for millennia and said i wanted your wisdom and then never ever listened to you ever and just dragged you through every atrocity i created and perpetuated
Solas: it hurts and i guess you're going to kill me now so here's the dagger ;_;
Mythal: it's still mostly your fault but i was there too i guess, anyway, i release you from my service, which i could have done at any point in the past several millennia but instead I tortured you endlessly, lol god of retribution, that's me. k bye
Solas: what the fucking fuck
Lavellan: right there with you, like literally forever, our love is a miracle and the only thing i can even cope with
Solas: yeah honestly fuck this shit, i'm out, i will put myself in fade jail
Lavellan: you are not going by yourself i stg take me with you i wanna go home
Solas: ...home is a literal prison now
Lavellan: sealed away from all this shit? from getting blamed for everything we do no matter how much we sacrifice? if it's you and me there together, i don't care if it's a grey box full of darkspawn
Solas: there's no darkspa--
Lavellan: ffs i said i want to go, you don't have to sell me on it. you're the only person in this world who Gets It. we go on together, forever.
Solas: *.* my wife
Lavellan: *.* my wolf
Northern Thedas: and rook saved the world from the dread wolf, who was a lying liar who lies
Southern Thedas: *busy being dead and blighted*
Lavellan: yeah, fuck this shit, we're out
You can now download this shitpost in beautifully formatted PDF, courtesy of @amburuthings. Thank u for your service *salutes*
You all have had me howling with the tags on reblogs, thank you, I am absolutely dying in deadline hell and needed that
#i did not mean to do a chaos retrospective on DAI through veilguard but here we are#soz rook you did indeed fuck up bad but your heart's in the right place in the end#this got away from me a little#rook can sit with us (emmrich can come too)#someone get rook some therapy#actually someone get everyone some therapy#tevinter better be in better shape next time#solavellan#elgar'nan really just took all the trash with him on the way out (and a shit tonne of innocent people too)#veilguard spoilers#solas#solas x female lavellan#da4 spoilers#solas x inquisitor#datv spoilers#fen'harel
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ok let me tell you what happened this episode
so basically..
#really charles? you left me with your kids to go and fuck a bird lady? SHUT UP!#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#magnus#magneto is right#magneto#professor x#x men#x men 97
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POV: you are Willy Stampler
#prediction right before the finale#this will happen i am manifesting#you guys ever notice that Taylor is just Eric cartman if he watched anime and learned empathy?#dndads#dndads s2#dungeons & daddies#dungeons and daddies#nicholas foster#nick close#taylor swift#close family#dndaddies#digital art#digital drawing#my artwork#fanart#fan art#dndads fanart#shitpost#nicky swift#nicky foster#nicky close#fuck you Nick and your 4 million names#my art
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this art by horis assistant. people DIED.
#aristotle.txt#everyone except krbk smoking ik thatās right#GODDDDD SERO PLEAZE LET ME FUCK PLEASEEEEEEE#iāve been so feral over him since seeing this#JIROUKAMI I NEED TO BE YOUR THIRD
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