#but you're welcome for my shitty humor anyway

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

Just had a thought that made me crack up.

Danny:

Vlad: Little Badger!

Jason: *cracking knuckles*

Vlad: ....Big Badger.

[recurring-polynya]

Hi! I want to start off with saying I love your blog and it was this blog that introduced me to a new side of the Bleach fandom, so I owe you a huge thanks for that. My question pretains to when you mentioned that you read a lot of fics where Byakuya was there when his father died in the lines of duty, and I was wondering if you could recommend those fics and any other byakuya centric ones.

You're very welcome! I am always excited see new people in the fandom, especially here on Tumblr.

I want to preface this with saying that I have kind of a complicated relationship with Byakuya. He is an interesting, complex character and I like to read fanfic about him, but I hesitate to call myself a fan. I'm mostly interested in his character as it stands in relation to Rukia and Renji. I like stories where he is shitty and causes problems. I like reading about the long, horrible history of the Kuchiki clan, and how much it screws a person up to be raised in that mess. I also just like stories that make fun of him a bit. He's a deeply strange person, and I love his weird, dry sense of humor. Byakuya-shipping usually falls flat for me: I think he's mostly ace, except for the time he fell in love with his wife, and even then, I only really like Byahisa stories where the author has done something creative with who she is and I also need her to drag his ass a little. I would swipe left on him. So, anyway, take these recommendations (and the absence of ones I have missed) with that grain of salt.

The fanfic I was specifically referring to regarding Soujun dying after a mission he and Byakuya were on together was the Rise & Ruin series by @afinepiece, specifically part 2, An Education. It's a...little-bit-AUish precanon fic where Hisana is a thief who ends up getting tangled up in the Kuchiki family after she attempts to steal a painting from them. If you're looking for Byakuya fanfic, AFP is always going to be my first recommendation, especially her Thin Red Line series. Her works are always sprawling and genre-defying, but beautifully crafted. They've got noble/family drama, intricate world-building detail, and great character writing. The Kuchiki family deserves epics, and that is what AFP is out here doing.

Funnily enough, my other favorite ByaHisa writer is all the way at the other end of the writing spectrum. @thegreenfaery. She works in the AU space, and if you enjoy Byakuya Going Thru It but also being in love with his beautiful wife. I'm biased, because she wrote it for me, but The Wedding Party is my fave of her works (80's/everyone's human AU where Hisana has to rent out part of Byakuya's house for her little sister's dirtbag wedding).

If you like Byakuya in his gothic horror era, please read dogviolet by @renjirukia. It's a closer examination of some canon between-scenes during Byakuya and Rukia's Bad Times period.

I think @lucymonster is one of the best Byakuya character writers out there, and Metaesthesia is one of the best fanfics I've ever read. It's a Byakuya - Renji bodyswap, but not in a fun way. You should really only read it if you're in the mood to have your heart kicked down the stairs. I also really like Sticks and Stones and Building Bridges. Note: Most of her works are ByaRen (these are not, at least not explicitly). That's not a ship I am normally fond of, but I get, like 3 weird days a year where I can read it.

Speaking of ByaRen, if you are into it, the other ByaRen writer I like a lot is @grizmelder, who is also a very nice person. I particularly enjoyed Heart Tangled, which is a historical AU set at the end of the samurai era, where Renji is Byakuya's bodyguard.

I was just talking about Lull the other day, but it's a lovely little fanfic by Branch about the relationship between Byakuya and Rukia and sometimes Renji. It's an older fanfic and breaks off from canon after the Soul Society arc, so you can think of it as sort of an alternate idea for how Soul Society rebuilds after Aizen's betrayal.

The Journal of Kuchiki Byakuya by @saranel is a great little fic in the form of young Byakuya writing diary entries about his life, in particular, his dealings with Yoruichi and Urahara. It's really cute in general, but in particular, I love the way it portrays Byakuya's interest in photography.

I also have a soft spot for Breaking to Bridle by Vivienne Grainger, which is about how Byakuya sees Renji, both as lieutenant and eventually as suitor for his sister.

I guess I would be remiss if I didn't mention my favorite crack Byakuya fic, which is Become a Ghost by @hardlyfatal. Orihime dies and goes to Soul Society and becomes a therapist and falls in love with Byakuya. It's pretty silly but also a lot of fun, and it's chock full of Byakuya being Byakuya.

I hope you find something you like in there! Like I said, I am not the world's best Byakuya fan (probably in the top ten worst Byakuya fans tbh) but these are some that I have enjoyed and have stuck with me!

[drop-dead-dropout]

NEW USERNAME local-queer-disappointment -> drop-dead-dropout

unpinning my other post because i want to talk a little about me and this space that i've created! hi i'm alex and i dropped out of high school twice lol

i think a dni is stupid because people never listen anyways, which is why i haven't had one, but i still see the value in at least telling people who this little corner is for.

also YELL AT ME ON DISCORD I'M woahits_alex.mp3 IF U ASK ME ABOUT FIC RECS FOR MY FANDOMS I'LL CRY WITH HAPPINESS

anyways opinion stuff under the cut. you don't have to read it, and you don't even have to listen if you do, but i might argue with you (<- serial arguer) so if you want to avoid the Discourse here ya go.

you are welcome here:

- ALL queers. trans men, trans women, nonbinary, intersex, poc queers, xenogender, "contradictory" labels like mspec gays/lesbians lesboys/turigirls/sapphileans (omg it's me!!), slur reclaims, detransitioners (who are not transphobic), mspec lesbians, aro/ace and all variations thereupon, unlabeled, questioning, etc. i love all of you. i love the community that we share. we are family, whether or not some of us want to be, and exclusionism is Not Funky Fresh!!

- pro Palestine!! i don't always rb posts as much as i used to (i am scared of spreading misinformation) but i think i'll start doing that again! (don't forget your daily click guys)

- jewish people. i am specifically adding this one to say that because of the shitty Everything, i've seen a lot of concerning antisemitic stuff recently so i'm just, yk, putting this out there.

- disabilities/cluster b disorders/systems/AAC users. i am not any of these things so if i say/do something out of line please tell me! but i love you guys and you're absolutely welcome here.

- proshippers (if this bothers you block and move on)

- furries. not personally one of y'all but i think you're neat and you make cool art :]

- literally, like, anyone, as long as you're not a dick

you are not welcome here:

- terfs, transphobes, exclusionists, anti-mspec, anti-lesboy, and people who think transandrophobia is "fake" or whatever. go away i don't like you (or at least be prepared to be blocked or yelled at)

- similarly to last, anyone who starts queer infighting or hates on less visible queers/strangers who don't "look" queer, the whole "bi girl's straight bf" nonsense (i don't care if you think someone is cishet. you have no way of knowing that. let's stop hating people for immutable characteristics and start having thoughtful criticisms of people's actions thanks)

- ZIONISTS. BYE BYE

- (but also antisemites because come on now let's notttt. judiasm ≠ zionism)

- ableists, fatphobia, racists/bigots, general dickheads

- antishippers (again, you can either leave now or expect to be argued with)

other general stuff:

- i accept anonymous asks! and also non anonymous ones. ask me shit idk

- i am autistic and VERY gullible. if i reblog a "bait" post, or something that's clearly fake or a joke with a genuine reaction, i'm probably not playing some 5d irony chess i'm probably just stupid. sorry y'all i'm trying :\

- i don't rb nsfw. not as, like, a rule, i just don't see the value in doing so lol. if i ever did i'd tag it and probably update this

UPDATE: thought i should clarify, i don't rb nsfw but i do rb nsfw humor, like dick jokes and stuff. hope there's no confusion

- i argue with people!! i enjoy arguing with people!! usually it's in replies and not reblogs but still. if you are allergic to stuff like that maybe don't follow me? i also rb "discourse" posts, mostly transmasc support stuff and callouts of transandrophobia, general solidarity stuff with the trans community or lgbt community as a whole, proship stuff, politics, current events, that kinda thing.

- this is, shockingly, supposed to be a fandom blog! (i got carried away; i always do.) current fandoms include: ace attorney (the one this blog was supposed to be about), doctor who (childhood hyperfixation come back to bite my ass), and splatoon (no excuse). also mha is basically my abusive boyfriend stockholm syndroming me to stay at this point but i'm trying to get better (not). you can find the records of my failing recovery at @alex-is-losing-sleep-over-krbk /hj (i also sometimes shamelessly rb this blog's posts over there lol)

and i guess since i'm mentioning fandoms, here are my fav ships: wrightworth, klapollo, franmaya, thoschei, pearlina, agent 24, & cuttletavio.

anyways, that's about it. love you all :]

[stretchyyonko]

KIDNAPPING WENT WRONG

- Old woman tried 🤷‍♀️

- My humor is just broken asf anyways enjoy 😭

pere pere pere pere...pere pere pere pere...

"Yes Hello?"

"Hey Nami-ya"

"OHH? TORAO!"

"...."

Luffy beamed as he heared Law through the other line of the den den mushi and nami covering her ears since luffy screamed near her ear.

"It is indeed rare for torao to call us since he always calls to look for you"

"Shishishi"

"Anyways whats the occassion torao?"

"Well I was about to tell you that we can literally see you here in an island 45 meters away"

After Law said that Nami wemt to look around the sea if she can spot the island Law was talking about and after minutes of looking she finally saw the said island he was talking about and told franky to go to the said island Law told her.

After 10 minutes they arrived and had Trafalgar sitting on the docks and was wearing a blue hawaiian shirt and yes of course unbuttoned...

"TORAOOO!"

"GEH MUGIWA-"

He didn't even finished his sentence when Luffy landed on him after he jumped from the thousand sunny.

"Oh? Law! What are you doing in thi–WOAH"

The moment they all wander their eyes on the said island their eyes and mouth went wide after they realized they are in an Hotel Island where all pirates are allowed to get rest and have fun on their lives.

Well the said island have types of inn the japanese ones and the modern type and the thousand sunny stopped in the docks near the japanese inns, plus its the cheaper and have the most stunning architectural design in the island.

It has even have public, private and personal hot baths inside the of the V.I.P rooms.

"AMAZINGG! EVERYONE LETS GO STAY FOR 3 DAYS HERE!"

"WAIT A MINUTE IDIOT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BERRIES TO STAY HERE!"

As Law was about to say something they heared familliar voices calling for luffy.

"MUGIWARA!!"

"LUFFYY~!"

"LUFFY!!"

There they saw Boa running towards luffy and behind was eustass kid, and of course his last brother alive sabo.

"SABO!"

Luffy happily went to him with open arms and hugged him with all his might.

"YOU WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO BE THIS CLINGY TO LUFFY?"

"O-Oi Boa calm down a bit that man whom you are talking to is–"

"I DON'T CARE WHO HE IS HOW DARE HE HUG LUFFY LIKE HIS LO–"

"Okay i'll stop you there woman...I'm his brother Sabo nice to meet you"

Boa went silent for a moment as the sentence literally caught her off guard.

"HUH? THEN WHY IS YOUR HAIR BLONDE? ARE YOU ADOPTED OR SOMETHING?!"

"How rude of you two 😭"

Before the commotion get into a more chaotic turn of events a male and female gyide came out from the japanese inns and warmly greeted them.

"Welcome our dear guests...this is the japanese inn of this island may we know first if did any of you booked a V.I.P room?"

They all looked at each other to know if there's someone who has the riches to book one...

"For the contrary we did not book one so maybe we can just have seperate rooms for men and women?"

"Of Course for the women please kindly follow me to your rooms and as for the males your rooms will be on the other side of his pavillion."

After that all of them went to their shared rooms.

"EHHH? WHY WOULD I FUCKING SHARE A ROOM WITH THESE TWO LOSERS"

"HAAAH? YOU JERK YOU'RE THE ONLY LOSER HERE"

"You guys....we haven't even sat down yet you two are already arguing"

Ussop sighed as they all put down their bag of clothes as Luffy and Kid had their foreheads as they attempt each other with a battle.

"Tch bunch of idiots."

"HUUUUH?! LOOK WHO'S FCKIN' TALKING"

"OH YEAH SHITTY PERVERT COOK YOU WANNA FIGHT?"

"COME AT ME THEN YOU GREEN MOSSHEAD"

"NOT HAPPENING"

Nami who has her mother instincts aware quickly stopped zoro and sanji who was about to fight in the middle of a peaceful day and gave the two freshly hot bumps on their heads.

"Damn she even beat zoro-kun and black leg sanji..." - S

"Just how strong is she?" – K

"STOP IT YOU TWO" – U

"By the way you guys go put on your swim trunks if you want to swim on the pool in the pool park its only 30 steps away from here."

"WAHH LETS GOO SWIMMINGG!!!"

"Hold on a moment luffy put on your swimming trunks first before you go!"

"Okay"

"We will be heading out there first just go if ya'll want to swim but if you want to nap then just nap"

And after that Nami went outside with Robin and Chopper who was already wearing his trunks and surprisingly with Boa and her sisters.

After a few minutes they finally got into the water park as luffy went to jump on the pool with his watermelon design floaties while chopper's was orange and ussop having the lemon design one.

As for the others Nami, Robin, Koala and Carrot are playing beach volleyball with nami pairing with carrot and Robin pairing with Koala

"HERE YOU GO!"

Koala literally didn't controlled herself on hitting the ball and hitting it in an acute angle and it hit franky on his balls while he was roasting barbeque who was now in his knees in pain due to his balls getting hit two times in a row now.

"Not the balls again ahahahshdhsahha"

"KOALA WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?"

"OMG I'M SORRY!!"

"CALL CHOPPER!"

"WHAT WOULD YOU NEED CHOPPER FOR?!"

"To fix his franky's balls YOHOHOHOHOHO"

🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🌊🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️🏖️

On the other side of the pool there Eustass kid made a big splash and made Law all wet.

"OI TRAFALGAR! TAKE SOME OF THIS!"

"YOU ASSHOLE! TAKE SOME OF THIS THEN!"

He made a water tower eustass kid 10x of his height and man got fucked and almost got drowned and other people who was just enjoying the pool got terrified of what the two did.

"STOP KILLING EACH OTHER YOU DUMB FUCKS THERE'S PEOPLE HERE SWIMMING TOO!" said the angry life guard

"Oh sorry about their childish behavior" killer apologized on their stead.

"YA'LL BETTER BE!"

The life guard went back on his seat and there luffy who was just chilling on his floaties fell asleep got woken up because of the life guard screaming and remembered he must have fun in here and not sleep. So he stretched himself and ran towards them.

"OIII EVERYONE LETS ALL HAVE A SWIM!"

As Luffy was running he stretched out both of his arms and push everyone including himself on the wide pool causing a commotion to other guests who are also swimming there as well and even laughed at how silly these pirates are.

Little did they know someone was already watching Luffy on a Far Coconut tree with a den den mushi...

"heh...3 Billion bounty huh"

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🏖️🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

As time goes by noon has already passed and the sun is about to rest again and they all rose up from the pool and went to rest for a second and go back to their inns.

After getting into their inns the lady guide was back holding nice folded yukata's for them.

"Hello dear guests I would like for you all to go attend our fireworks display and the food stalls down there and here I brought you yukata's made with fine silk."

"Oh thank you! Sure we would want to go later"

The guide smiled and bowed them goodbye and left the yukata's on their rooms.

"Ahwhehdha going swimming really tired me out~" Luffy whined as he sluggishly laid on his futon and directly went to sleep after he was done showering and putting on his black muji pajamas and got blacked out in an instant.

Law went inside and was wearing the same muji pajama luffy was wearing which made them speechless.

"What are ya'll lookin at?"

"You're strong enough to show this to sabo huh"

There sabo was already has his killing intent on

"YOU..YOU WHAT RELATIONSHIP DO YOU HAVE WITH MY BROTHER?"

"You guys why are ya'll loud at?"

"LUFFY WHAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM?"

Luffy went to look at trafalgar for a moment and turn his head back to sabo.

"Ehh? Didn't I told you way back in dressrosa? He was my lover"

Silence filled in the room...

5

4

3

2

1

"WHAAAAAATTTTT!?"

"WHY ARE YOU SHOCKED TOO ZORO I THOUGHT YOU KNOW IT ALREADY"

"THIS IS NEW TO ME AS WELL USSOP SHUT UP"

"??"

Luffy tilted his head in confusion as trafalgar smirked and kissed his temple.

"YOU FUCKER...HOW DARE YOU MAKE A MOVE TO MY BROTHER"

"AND YOU'RE PROUD TOO DAMN"

"Well who wouldn't be? This cutie beside me is mine for free..."

Luffy stared at him for a few seconds and ket out a cute smile.

"Whatever...take care of him carefully..break his heart and you will be meeting up with corazon up there too"

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HIM?"

"ITS THE NAME I SAW ON THE BACK OF YOUR JACKET LONG TIME AGO"

"By the way everyone kets get dressed and go see the fireworks display"

"Great Idea"

"Luffy? Are you coming?"

"Now you mentioned it My tardiness worn off so LETS GOOO but maybe i'll wear the too portion of the yukata then"

They all went to take a quick shower one by one and wear yukata's while Law and Luffy are waiting for them outside.

"Eat slowly mugiwara-ya no one would steal your food" Law wiped the left over sauce on his cheeks as luffy happily eat takoyaki.

"I'm just hungry we didn't ate after we got back..it explains why I was drowsy"

"Mhm"

Law leaned down and kissed Luffy's nose bridge and Luffy gave him a sweet smile as he ate the last takoyaki and law who was holding the tissues wipe off the sauce on the corner of Luffy's mouth.

"Thank you~"

"Mhm welcome"

"Ah! I remember now..."

"Remember what?"

"You didn't gave me a kiss earlier when I greeted you!"

"Well to be fair your fans are dying to see you plus you got teary eyed after seeing your brother once again"

"Oh you're right...then how about you kiss me here then?"

Law scoffed and pulled his waist and lifted his strawhat and gave him a sweet peck on the lips.

"Is that enough?"

Luffy shook his head no and was anticipating for more..and Law laughed and finally give him what he wants.

"You guys really have the audacity to do that in front of me and make me feel single?"

Law pulled away from the kiss the moment he heard Ussop.

"Whyyyy you're just jeal–OW" Luffy teased but got stopped as Ussop hit him on the back of his head.

"I'M NOT YOU IDIOT"

Law for real went beet red after getting caught kissing.

After Ussop arrived they all arrived one by one and the last one to arrive is Sanji since this man showers the longest.

"YOU SHITTY COOK ARE YOU JERKING ON THE SHWOER BEFORE TAKING ONE?"

"I DON'T YOU RETARD I JUST APPLIED SKIN CARE NAMI-SAN GAVE ON MY BIRTHDAY!"

"Eh you use skin care too?"

"Y-Yeah to be honest its refreshing to use one"

"Not you getting into it killer"

"Shut up Kid you don't even use one yet your skin is smooth asf"

"Same as luffy here...he never take a abth for a week yet man was stealing trafalgar's heart"

"Shut up you're just jealous"

"I won't I have kaya my beloved waiting for me"

"You know why don't we go down to join them for the upcoming firework event?"

They all nodded at once and officially went down the stone stairs and reached on the market of food stalls and mini games.

"HEYYY EVERYONEEE!!!!" nami waved at them so they sould go to their direction.

The moments they arrived they all sat on the mat...they felt like something was wrong.

"Is it just me or its just too quiet?"

"I noticed it too.."

"YA'LL WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BROTHER?"

"THAT'S WHY IT WAS WEIRDLY QUIET AS FUCK"

"WHERE IS HE?"

"EVEN TORAO WAS NOT HERE TOO!"

"WHAT ARE THOSE TWO UP TO?"

"Who knows? Maybe they went to have the time with each other?"

"....."

"What?"

*A Flashback from earlier*

Luffy ran around every stall and was amazed because it was his first time seeing something like this after their visit to wano and even participated to mini games and won all of the grand prizes but as he was finished exploring all stalls he turn around and he couldn't find them anymore.

"Eh? Did I got lost again?"

All he can see is faces he didn't knew and was now confused on what to do.

"Where should I find them?" He said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Are you lost young man? You seemed troubled?" An unknown woman asked

"Ahh yes I'm finding my friends! Did you see them?"

"What do they look like? Maybe explain a bit more further?"

The moments Luffy look at the stranger a tranquilazer shot was shot at his neck and he lost his balance as he tried not to lose his conciousness.

"Y-YOU BITCH"

"you've fallen into the trao mugiwara~" shee beamed

"come and help me carry this boy back to the camp..."

"He will be the greatest sacrifice for the Gods"

They left carrying an unconcious luffy away from the crown of people as her apprentice carried luffy like a sack as he was bough with them in the dark.

In Trafalgar's case he also got lost on the crowd for finding luffy as he slipped and lost his sight of him in just a minute.

"MUGIWARA-YA!"

"MUGIWARA-YA! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"MUGIWARA-YAAA!"

He ran from stalls to another that he knew luffy will find interesting but found nothing.

Instead he found a bag full of the grand prizes of each stalls he just went to and exactly knew this was luffy's doing.

Suddenly he remembered he gave Ussop and Luffy a den den mushi before they all went to go here so he tried contacting luffy's den den mushi but no answer.

"Fuck..Mugiwara-ya where the fuck are you at?"

He decided to hide luffy's bag in one of the bushes and went to soar through the dark to find luffy.

*BACK TO OTHERS*

"WHAT!? LUFFY/SENPAI IS MISSING?!"

both boa and bartolomeo who just recently joined the team with his crew was shocked to know that Luffy and Trafalgar Law was missing.

"Yes because if luffy will be going off to his own he will sometimes say it or sometimes follow his intrusive thoughts without saying anything."

"Yes but still this is oddly weird"

"Ara did you guys notice something?"

"Notice what Robin?"

"Those two guides who was with us earlier and the ones who even gave us this yukatas"

"I was informed earlier while we are resting on the pool a personel told me that there are no such thing as guides here sice these inns are self served"

"Then...you mean...those girl and the man she was with earlier are not part of the staffs?"

"It seemed so..."

Suddenly a den den mushi can be heared inside ussop's yukata.

"OH I REMEMBER LAW GAVE THIS TO ME AND LUFFY IN CASE WE GOT LOST."

He quickly answered the den den mushi and was greeted by trafalgar's pants.

"YOU ASSHOLE WHERE ARE YOU TW–"

"Nose-ya listen up to what will I say.."

They all went quiet to listen what will he say.

"If you are with everyone I need back up..mugiwara-ya got kidnapped by an unknown cult and was about to get offered by their said Gods.."

"T-There's too many of us here how many of us do you want to come as back up?"

"All of his crew except the women but tell robin to listen and sabo is enough"

"Okay okay we will be on our way then"

"Okay if you see a firework stall go behind there and you'll see a pathway to where I am right now"

He hung up the call and they quickly went to go save luffy for getting sacrificed.

Luffy woke up feeling sluggish and weak and realized he was wrapped with sea prism stone chain as he tried to move inside a small bowl

"W-What? Where am I? Where is everyone?"

"You're now awake Mugiwara"

"WHO ARE YOU!? WHY DID YOU CHAINED ME UP? WHAT IS THIS?"

"Ugh you just woke up and was already this noisy"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

"Well we want you as a sacrifice to our Gods tonight since devil fruit users will make them strong!"

"YOU PSYCHO! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE AND I'LL BEAT YOU INSTEAD!"

"HAH! FOOL! YOU? BEAT A WOMAN?"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT GENDER YOU HAVE I'LL STILL BEAT YOUR ASS!"

The woman just scoffed and went to go back and will re-visit him again.

After a few minutes Ussop, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper and Sabo managed to find the stall Law told them and saw luffy's bag and Law came out from the bush.

"You guys just came in time but why only four of you?"

"Well killer wanted eustass to come but eustass insisted since his mechanical arm squeaks so it will be a nuisance and as for brook and franky they stayed to protect them incased their back up come up" Sanji explained as he lighted his cigarette.

"What in the hell happened first?" Sabo asked getting concerned for his little brother's sake

"I don't have the time to explain so come follow me and save mugiwara-ya"

They all nodded and followed Law as they entered a secret underground base and quietly sneaked inside and saw luffy in the center of their stage being wrapped in a chain full of sea prism stone and was throwing a fit but he seemed to be silenced.

"Oho? His saviors are here"

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU FOUND ABOUT OUR RAID?!"

"My assistant here has keen hearing so he told me that there are people approaching"

"YOU OLD HAG"

"I'M NOT AN OLD HAG WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOU TWAT!"

"YOU LOOKED LIKE ONE LIKE THE HELL? IS THIS WHY YOU'RE SACRIFICING LUFFY? SO YOU WILL BE YOUNG AGAIN?"

"SHUT UP HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?"

"TF YOU THINK YOU ARE? SNOW WHITE?"

"WHO THE FUCK IS SNOW WHITE?!"

"Zoro are you fucking kidding right now?"

"Shut up first of all who's snow white?"

"You idiots do not read fairytales?"

"The hell is that? I grew up with swords and training so have no time for romance shit"

"Is your childhood okay?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT"

While they are arguing Chopper helped Law took of the sea prism chain off him as Law lightly tapped his cheeks to wake him up.

"Hmm? T-Torao? Chopper?"

"Luffy!!"

"WHERE IS THAT OLD HAG?"

"WHO YOU CALLIN' OLD HAG?"

"who else is old here?"

"Yeah you're right"

"STOP TALKING AND FIGHT ME THEN"

"GEAR 5TH!"

He transformed ito joy boy once again and the said old woman is shock to see her own eyes a real God.

"J-JOY BOY?!"

"How did you know joy boy?"

"I just see him in the book when I was a kid...I didn't know he was real"

"GOMU-GOMU NOOO KAMINARI! (gum-gum lightning)"

There the woman got electrified and quickly raised the white flag.

"Eh? That was quick as hell"

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE YOU RASCALS!"

"THEN WHY MESS UP WITH US THEN?!"

"In my defense I didn't know he was joy boy"

"Does this means we are free to go as we please?"

"YES PLEASE JUST GET OUT OF MY SIGHT"

after this they peacefully got out from the cave as luffy went to his normal self.

"This is too confusing for me right now...like HOW CAN SHE GIVE UP THAT EASILY?"

"Hmm..."

"Torao?"

Law suddenly thought of something and after they all got out from the cave.

"Room.."

"Takt"

There earthland started rising and Law started covering the entrance of the cave as he smirked after.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?! THEY'LL DIE INSIDE THERE!"

"So? Do I look like I care? Plus they tried to kill your captain and sacrifice him on a non-existent God"

They went silent as Law went to check up on luffy.

"Mugiwara-ya are you okay?"

"Shishishi I'm fine torao don't worry too much"

Law possesively grabbed his waist and wrist and kissed him.

"MPH!"

Sabo be covering Chopper's eyes are they all let out fake gagged noises. And of course sabo restraining himself to kill Law right there right now.

Law broke off the kiss as looked back at luffy.

"WHY DID YOU RANDOMLY KISS HIM?"

Law who was very introvert as hell felt so bold right now and even hugged luffy possesively on his grasp.

"Mine"

"HEY ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"

"S-Sabo calm do–"

"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN MY BROTHER IS THE VICTIM"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN VICTIM HE WASN'T EVEN ON CHOKE HOLD"

"Shishishishi"

"What was even this we even went for a serious battle only for that old hag to surrender immediately"

As they are about to get more confused when the firework display started and colorful fireworks displayed the dull sky.

- My brother Plotted this LMAO

- He even supports my BL antics 😭

[batteredwarriorstillstanding]

So, that fateful "anonymous" letter that I am still not even certain you received (but sort of assume so, cuz it had to be SOMETHING that motivated every boyfriend you have had since the Bush administration-not to mention your Mom- to make some sort of threatening overture toward me...I still don't understand what I was guilty of, aside from poor use of style, the usual punctuation errors, and a terrible example of humor--usually a lone strong suit. I can't, for the life of me, determine how it caused THAT kind of negative reaction, but it had to be SOMETHING that did, right? Anyway, prior to actually putting fingers to keyboard, I failed to account for the fact that I had written nothing since college (aside from letters to judges and creditors) and I wasn't going to be as proficient as someone who devoted several hours per day to the craft...absent that prudent consideration, a lame, kinda creepy, rambling letter that screamed "I need to renew my ADT monitoring contract!" to you, no doubt, was easily supplanted by the idea of writing a sonnet for you....a real, Shakespearean version, correct not only in syllabi count, but meter (while not sacrificing content too obviously) It took about 10 minutes to realize that this was not an immediate option, thus the unfortunate result. So....imagine my dilemma when yesterday's uber driver introduced me to all of the AI apps available...apps which surely will provide the necessary unethical boost my mediocre status concerning proficiency in a previously beloved craft that I took seriously enough to remain moderately sharp in practicing required to complete such a task. So.....in advance. I have a long day (that hasn't started and will end by 3) Afterward, though....prepare yourself to read something that will serve as a more appropriate admiration notice for your beautiful and impressive self....and, you're welcome, hun! I won't even bug you to have coffee afterward. Disclaimer: IF I LIKE THE RESULTS, I will post...if not, I can write shitty stuff all by myself.

[ofmoonlitmagic]

"Very hard to kill someone who's both cute and charming," Briggs remarked, despite the grouch continuing on in his ways. Then again, he had just killed like 5 of his own, probably that whole reading the room thing. "Obviously, they weren't." Oops, he did it again.

He knew he owed nothing to this hunter, and no doubt there were other members of his family who would not. He'd been part of hurt caused to the Mikaelsons, but--here he was, helping anyway. Internally cursing himself for doing it the whole time. Offering a shrug, his lips curled into a hint of a smirk, "maybe." Hell, if he was going down with the hunter, might as well do it still as smartass as ever.

Briggs kept walking into these messes, like a moth drawn to flame. He went back again and again to places basically guaranteed to hurt him--no wonder his mother was so worried about him--so maybe, ironically, the masochism was his own. "I can think of worse things to die for," he said, "and hey, with any luck, the door's still open a crack and we can sneak back over." His brows instantly furrowing at the most shocking thing likely said so far between them, "...you're welcome? Okay, yeah, let's not do that, that feels weird."

Asher was learning because Briggs had been ready to argue that was no excuse. Born, join, there wasn't a lot of difference once you were old enough to choose staying. No sassy comeback was made as the hunter continued, explaining, humanizing. "I know something about shitty fathers," he mumbled, so far under his breath it was almost inaudible.

Sometimes families of origin were less than ideal, and the only family you could count on was the one found. Or found by. "Did you get your proof? Because with everyone coming back, your sister's probably out there somewhere and you can just ask her now." Great, he was probably about to volunteer to help him do that too. If they got out of this situation alive. "I mean, cool motive, still murder, but I get it. I've got siblings, and frankly, I'd commit war crimes to keep them safe."

If anyone knew the power of family, it was Briggs, having fully and completely devoted himself to all things Mikaelson. If they'd have been the bad guys in the war this time, he wouldn't even have wavered, which maybe made Asher the better person after all. However, for all the crimes credited to his family, eradicating entire species wasn't among them.

"I guess that's where I come in handy, maybe you can get out alive after all." The next comment elicited a small laugh, "funny enough, it wasn't on mine either. Not exactly sure how I'm going to explain this to the rest of them but one bridge at a time." He focused on gathering every last piece, so much so he almost missed it. Doing a double take, a curious look appeared on his face as a pleasantly surprised grin crept up. "I didn't know those muscles in your face worked," he teased, ignoring the comment about his concern. He couldn't exactly deny it. "Told you mutiny suited you."

Reaching his arm out, Briggs guided him back a little more, "step back." Lips upturned, he commented, "you've gotten to see two of my favorite spells. See, I knew we were going to share things today." Even if he had been joking earlier about sharing traumas, he'd managed to get Asher's anyway. "Phasmatos Incendia."

Watching as the wood and bodies began to burn, he murmured, "we should have brought marshmallows..." Humor was definitely a coping mechanism, the warmth of the fire was a visceral pull back in time. Not the first time he burned away the past. Glancing over at the hunter, he expected that joke to not go over well. "We should stay only long enough to make sure the evidence has burned, then we've got to go. I can hold the cloaking spell for a while, but it's not infinite." Go where? He thought, now reaching that particular bridge. "Do you know where your sister was staying last?" No, that wouldn't work because they clearly knew where that was if she had been taken by them. "--Or if we make it back to my room, we can figure out a plan from there."

“Yeah - I’m getting that” Asher groaned, but Brigg’s quick wit was honestly the least of their problems. By now, it shouldn't have still been their problem though and Asher couldn’t work out why Brigg’s hadn’t taken his granted freedom.

The hunter becoming the hunted felt only deserved and whether Asher had wanted it or not, he was far from innocent. He had once idolised his father and vowed that he’d fill the same shoes, except the older he became, he realised that his father was no necessary evil. In the eyes of his own flesh and blood, Asher wasn’t a son, only a weapon and for years, he had allowed himself to be just that.

The difference now was that his sister was home and the suspicions Asher had around her disappearance and the involvement of their father had now been confirmed. The OEA were poison and they had poisoned him against his own sister, but Asher’s mind remained his own and it was time that he acted on that. 

Just as Asher had made his own moments before, Brigg’s made a decision that would cement both of their fates. The hybrid leapt into action and Asher followed suit, but not before scoffing at the other's comment “I bet you'd just love that.” The scoff didn't quite meet his expression however and for a split second, he looked towards the other with a genuine look of gratitude.

As instructed Asher grabbed another of the OEA bodies, dragging them across the ground with an air of aggression to his action. "No, you probably shouldn't - because something tells me this'll be what gets us both killed, but I uh" the hunter awkwardly cleared his throat "... thanks."

Brigg's following observation caused him to swallow hard, ruminating over the thought. When he did eventually respond, it was was spoken harshly but that had been unintentional and he quickly adjusted his tone. “I didn’t join.” A grunt passed between them as he hoisted another body onto their pile “I was born into it. And no, before you bite my head off, I know that's not an excuse.”

Asher was usually tight lipped about his past, but he figured if anybody had earned a preview, it had to be Briggs. It pained him to talk about, but the other had earned the sincerity. “My sister was like me, she tried to get out.” Asher cleared his throat, unable to look at Briggs “but that only left her kids without a mom." A tightness swelled within the centre of his chest, a sensation he was used to by now but it still scared the hell out of him each time it happened. He lifted his head and looked towards the other "her own father, our father - he'd kill his own grandkids if he was given half the chance. I just needed the proof that he had done something to my sister, so I stayed. The longer I stayed, the harder it got to leave. Alive, anyway."

The hunter fought to dismiss the thought, knowing that he had said far too much and so he continued to distract himself, driving his booth through the frame of a chair to use to wood. Showing his appreciation, especially to others wasn't easy nor was gaining his trust - but he suspected that Briggs was exactly the same. "A Mikaelson, helping out a hunter?" Asher sucked air through his teeth "sure as hell didn't have that on my bingo card." His actions came to a halt, tossing the wood on top of the deceased, as for the first time in the entirety of their encounter, Asher smiled "careful, you're starting to sound concerned again." The action was fleeting, but it had lingered enough for Briggs to see it was there, before Asher lifted his hand and murmured "all right. Show me what you've got, I guess. Light the bastards up."

[chasholidays]

bellarke + she loves me (the musical) please! you're awesome for doing this

The problem with knowing that Bellamy is her internet penpal is that now, Clarke has to live with it.

On one level, it wasn’t actually surprising; if she’d thought about it, she would have known Bellamy and August had a lot in common, the same general age, one younger sister, parents out of the picture, intelligent with dry, somewhat dark senses of humor. But there are thousands of people like that in the world. She can’t be blamed for not thinking there might actually only be one of them.

Monty is the one who found out, in that Monty was the person she brought for backup because, in general, it’s dangerous to meet strangers from the internet, especially when you have exchanged almost no demographic information. August could have been almost anyone, and while Clarke definitely wanted to meet him, she also didn’t want to get stabbed.

So Monty went in first, told Clarke it was her hot coworker she definitely didn’t have a thing for, and left.

And then Clarke went in, trying to figure out what to say, and ended up in an argument with him, because that’s how they roll, and never at any point did she say, “I’m Aeris,” and he never asked, because of course it wouldn’t be her.

He emailed this morning and she still hasn’t looked at it. What’s she supposed to say, after all? He’s going to ask why she wasn’t there, except that she was, and they talked, and he doesn’t know any of that.

She puts her head down on the counter, groaning, but she only manages it for about ten seconds before there’s a sound next to her, and she looks up to see a cup from her favorite coffee shop, and Bellamy behind it.

“Hey, sorry I was a dick last night,” he says, with a small smile. “You didn’t deserve that.”

Her stomach drops, guilt flooding her system. In some sense, it’s true, but the whole thing is kind of her fault. She’s the one who stood him up, and just because he doesn’t know it was her doesn’t mean she didn’t deserve the brunt of his irritation.

“You’re fine,” she says. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“Still.”

“Thanks for the coffee.” She takes a sip, can’t help asking, “Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?”

“You look kind of tired.”

It’s not actually a lie, and he must know it, because his face screws up with displeasure. “Thanks.”

“Sorry for expressing concern.”

“It was a shitty night.” He leans on the counter next to her, and Clarke takes a sip of the coffee, not letting herself look at him. He’s always been attractive, obviously, and while she hasn’t always liked him, precisely, she has always been drawn to him, on some level. He’s interesting. “Did you ever hear about my girlfriend who lives in Canada?” he asks, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Your girlfriend who lives in Canada?”

“That’s what Miller calls her.” He sighs. “It’s just–she’s this girl I know online. She moved to town a few months ago, and we finally decided to meet up last night. She didn’t show, so–I was in a shitty mood, and I took it out on you.”

“She didn’t show?” Clarke finds herself asking.

“No. I guess I don’t blame her.”

“Yeah? Why not?”

“I’m a strange guy she met on the internet. If she was my sister, I would have told her to never meet up with me. Especially since she doesn’t really know anything about me. I could have told her my name, linked her to my Facebook. But I didn’t.”

“Just because you’re not blaming her it doesn’t mean you have to blame yourself,” Clarke tells him. “If she didn’t ask–”

“Yeah.” He straightens up, running his hand through his hair. “Anyway, uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to unload on you. Just–sorry I was a dick last night.”

“You’re a dick all the time,” she says, nudging his shoulder, hoping to regain some equilibrium, get back to something like their usual dynamic. “Seriously, Bellamy. I appreciate it, but you’re the one who had a bad night, you don’t have to try to make me feel better. I’m fine.”

“Taking care of other people is how I make myself feel better.”

“Yeah? So what do you do if there’s no one around to take care of?” He frowns, and she takes another sip of coffee. “Would you have bought yourself coffee, or just felt shitty?”

“Hot chocolate and still felt shitty,” he says, with a wry smile. “I have a sweet tooth.”

“Really?”

“When I’m in a bad mood, yeah.”

She lets herself reach over and squeeze his shoulder, just a quick touch. “I’m really sorry about your girlfriend who lives in Canada. She was probably just nervous. Or didn’t know what to say.”

“Yeah, I get that. It’s not like I don’t–I was nervous all fucking day yesterday.”

“Now that you mention it, I noticed,” she teases.

“Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.” He clears his throat. “We should probably get moving, get the store open, right?”

“Yeah, sounds right. I’m sure she’ll get in touch soon,” she adds, and at least she really is sure. “Maybe she saw how hot you are and got intimidated.”

He snorts. “Yeah, that must be it.”

*

On her lunch break, she finally reads her email. The message from August is about what she expected, a charitable interpretation of her blowing him off, a couple suggestions of why she might not have showed up.

I got cold feet, I’m sorry, she writes, and then erases it and replaces it with, Had to work late, didn’t have your cellphone. She stares at it for another minute and then finally settles on, I just couldn’t. I’m so sorry.

Then she buys Bellamy a hot chocolate and a brownie and goes back to work.

*

The next few days are more than a little surreal. Bellamy has, not unreasonably, decided she’s a sympathetic audience for his concerns about his internet friend, which puts her in the unfortunate position of trying to talk him through how best to deal with his crush on her.

It really shouldn’t be hard, either. After all, not only is she in a uniquely excellent position to tell Bellamy exactly how Aeris feels about him, the fact is that she returns his feelings. Before she’d known August was Bellamy, she’d already liked both of them in their own ways, and their being the same person is the best news she’s had in years.

Except, of course, that she knows about it and he doesn’t.

“You could just tell him,” says Monty. “And, honestly, you really should. Like, I get not doing it at first, but the longer you go, the more awkward it’s going to be. Just–tell him you panicked, you didn’t know what to say, but you like him and you want to make out.”

“What if he doesn’t want to make out with me?” She’d like to say the question hasn’t been bothering her, but, honestly, that’s total bullshit. She’s been thinking about it basically non-stop.

“He definitely does. Like, I would be money on that. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be just as good news for him as it was for you, okay? You’re a great outcome here.”

“Except I’ve been lying to him.”

“Panicking,” Monty corrects. “Definitely lean hard into that. You’re panicking.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“It should. Look, you’re not some supervillain sitting on your ice throne plotting ways to make his life miserable. You’re just–as confused as he is. So figure out how to tell him and tell him. Because it sounds like this could be really good.”

Clarke puts her head on his shoulder. “You think I’d have an ice throne?”

Monty laughs. “Yeah. It would be fucking badass.”

*

If you’re willing, I want to try the whole meeting up thing again, she emails August two days later. I promise I’ll show this time.

As she hoped he would, Bellamy tells her about it at work the next day.

“You’re going to give her another chance?”

“I’m pretty sure I’d regret it if I didn’t.”

“What if she bails on you again?”

“Then I’ll give up on her, I guess. I can take a hint.”

Clarke leans on the counter, watching him restock. “How did you two meet?”

“Book forum,” he says. “I know I’m a nerd, you don’t have to tell me. I don’t know why I didn’t just give her my name. I’ve always gone by August online, ever since I was a kid. I like Roman emperors, I thought it sounded cool. And every time I think about telling her something about myself, I second-guess it.”

“So you’re just going to find out everything at once?”

“I always just jump right into the deep end of the pool too.”

She worries her lip. “Can I walk you over?”

“To meet her?”

“Yeah. So you’ve got someone around if she doesn’t show up again.”

His smile goes warm, and Clarke goes all fuzzy inside. He’s so close to being hers, somehow. She just has to nail the landing. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“Then, yeah. You’re welcome.”

She gets changed after they close, as she usually does, and Bellamy does something of a double-take when he sees her.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you in that top before,” he says, when she cocks her head.

“You like it?”

“Yeah, it’s nice. Very blue.”

“As opposed to all my other slightly blue tops.”

“I’m nervous, shut up.” He holds the door open for her. “Terra is wearing blue.”

“It’s a good color. So, where are you guys meeting?”

“Marco’s, just a few blocks away. You don’t have to come far.”

“How else are you going to know it’s her? Or do you just have to talk to every girl there in a blue top?”

“She’s going to have a copy of the first book we talked about.”

“Which is?”

“Arcadia.”

“The Stoppard play?”

“Yeah.”

“Anything else?”

“How much do you think she needs?”

“Just trying to figure it out.”

“She said she’d have the book and a flower on the table. Aeris is a flower girl from a video game, so it’s thematic, I guess.”

“But you don’t have any Roman emperor stuff?”

“I’m supposed to find her.”

They’re at Marco’s, so Clarke makes herself exhale. “Find her with this book,” she says, pulling her copy out of her bag, “and this flower, right?”

He stares at her, jaw agape. “Clarke,” he starts, but she doesn’t let him go on.

“I saw you and I didn’t know what to do,” she admits in a rush. “I sent Monty in first and he told me you were there and–fuck, I’m sorry. I was trying to figure out what to say and it was so much easier to pick a fight because I thought you’d be disappointed and–”

He cups her face and leans in to kiss her, and the relief of it is so profound it feels like a living thing.

“So you just let me complain to you about you for a week?” he asks, but he’s smiling.

“You started it.”

“I did.” She can see him swallow. “I saw you come in and I really thought it was you for a second. And then I told myself it wasn’t and I was being an idiot and I picked a fight with you.”

She laughs. “That’s one way to deal with that situation, yeah.”

“Like you did any better.”

“I didn’t.” She twines her fingers in his hair, tugging him back in to kiss him again. “I’m really glad it was you. I’m sorry I didn’t just–I couldn’t figure out what to say.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you,” he says. “And I’m really glad there’s only one of you.”

“Me too.” She leans in for one more kiss. “So, are you ready to finally get dinner with me?”

He laughs, bumps his nose against hers. “I thought you’d never ask.”