#but you should know this is a common thing for me because last night I started making gingerbread men and decorating them as all of them
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aajjks · 1 day ago
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The Conqueror (XXIV)
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Synopsis: He had conquered everything, anything but your heart.
Pairings: Yandere!King Jungkook x Commoner!servant Reader
warnings: yàndèré, Dàrk thèmès, Fòrcèd màrrìàgè, Tàlk òf vìrgìnìty ànd màrrìàgè cònsùmmàtìòn, Gòssìpìng, Còld béhàvìòr, Ùnhéàlthỳ rèlàtìònsìp, Dèprèssìòn.
note. besties I hope you enjoy this, The reason I’m updating this more often now is because I want to finish the story as soon as I can and please share your feedback because it’s really important to me. I love you guys enjoy! Ash I finished this chapter just for you x
series masterlist
taglist: @mageprincess7 @starsggukk @sprinkleoftee @koremis @minshookie29 @sana-b @bangtannoonalvg @oonaaurora @jeonsweetpea @sugaslittlekookies @outro-kook @kthyg @lunaashes @debicaptain-saturn @laurynne5 @captainsjoongs @myblackconfessions @lanalanexpjm @namjooncrabs @shadowmoon21 @kookunot @natalie-rdr @angelicasdre @iwasfuckinginnocentonce @mermaidtea @foulnightharmony @ungodlyjoon @quechulitaaa @telepathytae @silversparkles11 @j3alous-ang3l @bunzom @1-in-abillion @breadgeniedope @jiminie-08 @artgukk @lovesthetword @bunijmin @pinkcherrybombs @afangirllikeme-blog @twilight-love-nochu-main @wedarkacademia @hollxe1 @bighitfics @darkuni63 @golden-thv @investedreader @sweetempathprunetree @koocreampie (I can’t tag anymore people, it’s full 😭😭)
•••
You wake up, and the first thing you notice is the absence of him-
Jungkook. The bed is cold, empty. You feel the space beside you, where his body should have been, yet it remains untouched.
Why is he the first thing on your mind when you wake up?
You were the one who sent him away last night so you should be happy about it, as you rub your blurry eyes, your vision finally clears.
The sheets are crisp and neat, too neat, too clean.
As you sit up, the ladies-in-waiting enter quietly, their movements practiced. They approach the bed, and immediately, you see them take note of the immaculate sheets, the lack of any sign of what should have been..
A mark of possession, a proof of consummation.
“Good Morning to Our Lady Jeon.”
A sense of dread creeps up when they refer to you as a Jeon.
“Lady yn,” Na-yeon calls, her voice soft yet commanding, “it’s time to prepare for your duties as the emperor’s wife. The king will be expecting you.”
You nod, but you can’t shake the guilt settling in your chest. You already know what they’re whispering about. The sheets, they’re clean. There’s no sign of the king’s touch, no evidence of the night that was supposed to bond you together.
One of the maids, her voice barely above a whisper, says, “She wasn’t touched last night. Look at that. There’s no mark, no blood.”
Another one replies in a hushed tone, “No sign of anything.”
They probably know that you can hear them, but do they give a fuck about it? No.
So what? you want to scream but you can’t
You feel the weight of their words, like they’re pressing down on you, suffocating you. You know they’re gossiping, but you can’t stop the flush of embarrassment that creeps up your neck. The sheets, the clean, untouched sheets, they feel like a reflection of your rejection. You had turned him away last night. You had rejected him. And now, the palace is talking.
You don’t regret rejecting him, but there is a guilt that is so heavy.
You are undeniably embarrassed.
The guilt tightens your chest. It feels as though the weight of the entire palace is on your shoulders.
You didn’t want to, but it happened.
You couldn’t let yourself go through with it. Not like that. Not when you know what kind of man he is.
He is a monster. He’s someone who killed your father and ruined your entire fucking life. How could you let someone like him touch you?
You hate him so much but then why didn’t you feel the satisfaction when he had walked away from you last night leaving you untouched?the shame of turning him away is like a shadow following you now.
The ladies continue their work, preparing you for the day ahead, but the whispers echo in your mind, too loud, too real.
You were the one who rejected him last night, so why do you feel embarrassed? He’s the one who should feel embarrassed… why are they gossiping about it like it’s a big deal? You will never let someone like him touch you anyways.
So why does it feel like there is a heavy burden on your heart and why do you feel so embarrassed about still being a virgin?
They dress you in your royal attire, the weight of the silk robes feeling heavier than ever. The red and gold, the fine embroidery—it should feel like power, but instead, it feels like a prison.
You feel like a fucking puppet
Finally, they place the pin in your hair. It’s subtle but significant. You immediately feel the burden of the pen on you because you realize that you are now actually the emperor’s wife.
You’re still not queen yet and you hope that you won’t be, but this pin indicates that you are married to the emperor of Goryeo.
Emperor Jeon Jungkook. A.k.a. your worst nightmare.
You are the emperor’s wife, but not yet queen. It’s a constant reminder of your place, of how far you are from the woman you want to be, and how close you are to the role you’re forced to play.
They leave you alone with your thoughts, but you can’t escape them. You look at yourself in the mirror, trying to connect with the woman you see with the woman you feel like inside. A pawn. A possession.
The sound of tea and breakfast wafts into the room, but it feels like a distant, empty thing. Time to face him,
The emperor awaits.
“My Lady. Come on let’s go into the dining hall where you will be joined by the emperor Jeon.”
Looks like you’re not gonna be able to eat because whenever you’re in his presence, you feel sick to your stomach.
But it’s not like you have any choice.
•••
You sit at the long, opulent dining table, the sound of footsteps echoing from behind you.
The breakfast spread is grand & delicate plates of rice, fruit, meat, and steamed buns, the aroma of the dishes wafting through the air. Yet, all of it feels distant, as though it’s meant for someone else. The golden utensils, the fine porcelain cups
It’s not meant for you.
none of it feels real. Not when you know what hangs between you and Jungkook.
He enters the room quietly, his presence is as always commanding.
His tall frame fills the doorway, and despite the soft glow of the morning light filtering through the large windows, he seems to cast a shadow.
His dark curly long hair is perfectly styled, his robes a deep crimson, embroidered with gold threads, marking him as the emperor. He is a king, but right now, he looks like someone out of reach, someone untouchable.
Jungkook’s eyes flick to you as he takes his seat across from you, his gaze cold. There’s no warmth in his look, no softness.
The air between you feels thick with tension, and you know, without a doubt, it’s because of last night.
You meet his gaze, but the words you want to speak catch in your throat. You can feel his anger, simmering beneath his calm exterior.
He’s holding back, but just barely. His hands rest on the table, his fingers clenched tightly around the delicate porcelain tea cup in front of him.
“You know,” Jungkook begins, his voice low, almost mocking, “last night was supposed to be different. I thought…” His voice trails off for a moment as he takes a sip of tea, his eyes never leaving you. “I thought I might have finally gotten what I’ve been waiting for. But you, you rejected me.”
He scoffs.
“You know? You look so beautiful. But it’s useless. Your beauty is useless.”
His words cut through the air like a knife, and your chest tightens. You can feel the weight of his gaze, his cold stare, as he leans back slightly in his chair, studying you.
“I don’t understand,” he continues, his voice is turning sharper. “You’ve been in this palace for a year. You’ve been living in luxury, waiting for this moment. Yet, when it comes, you turn away from me? What makes you think you can do that, hm?”
You swallow, trying to gather your thoughts. It’s hard to speak when the tension in the room is so thick, so suffocating. You know you can’t apologize, not with the pride he carries. But you can’t keep quiet either.
His presence is so overwhelming and maybe the guilt in your heart is also weighing on you.
“I didn’t—” you start, but he cuts you off with a sharp gesture of his hand, signaling that he doesn’t want to hear your excuses.
He just dismissed you like you mean nothing.
“You didn’t what?” he asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “You didn’t want me? The man who made you his wife?” His lips curl into a cruel smile.
He thinks that you are pathetic.
“You really think you can just refuse me and walk away from it all? There’s no escaping me, not anymore. You belong to me now, whether you like it or not.”
The words hit you like a slap, and you look away, unable to meet his eyes. The food in front of you suddenly loses its appeal, the steam rising from the rice feeling like it’s choking you.
You want to speak up, to explain yourself, but you know it won’t change anything. He won’t listen. Not now, not after what happened last night.
Jungkook leans forward, his eyes narrowing as if he’s waiting for you to speak, to beg, to plead for his forgiveness. He’s enjoying this, you realize.
Enjoying the control he has over you, enjoying the way you’re forced to sit there and endure his words.
“Well?” He presses, the coldness in his voice now unmistakable. “Are you going to explain yourself? Or are you just going to sit there and pretend everything is fine?”
You clench your fists in your lap, the urge to stand up and leave the room almost overwhelming. But you can’t. You can’t leave. Not when the emperor is sitting right in front of you, and you know the consequences of defying him.
Instead, you hold your breath and force yourself to speak but no words come out.
His expression darkens, and he leans forward, his eyes locked on yours, piercing and dark.
“You’re my wife. But you are one ungrateful woman, and if you don’t want me to touch you, then I won’t.”
The words make your skin itch, your chest is tightening with a mixture of fear and frustration.
You didn’t expect him to understand. How could he? He’s the emperor. He’s always had power. He’s never had to ask for anything, he just takes it.
“You have no idea what it’s like to be forced into this life,” you mutter, barely able to keep the bitterness out of your voice. “To be used as a pawn in your game.”
His eyes flash with anger, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s going to snap. But instead, he leans back in his chair again, his jaw clenched tight.
“You don’t get to speak to me like that,” he warns, his voice dangerously calm. “You may be my wife, but I will not tolerate disrespect. Not from you. Not from anyone.”
“Especially not from you yn.”
The room grows silent, the only sound the clinking of silverware and the soft hum of the palace outside. You know he’s not done with you yet. This conversation is far from over. But for now, he sits in silence, his anger barely contained.
You don’t know what to expect next. Will he lash out? Will he punish you? You’re not sure, but deep down, you know one thing—
This is only the beginning of the torture that you’re going to be facing for the rest of your life.
“Fuck.. you just know how to ruin my fucking mood, but there are other important things that I need to make sure that you know.” he takes a deep breath, trying to calm his simmering anger down.
Jungkook looks at you with his unyielding cold gaze.
“ the king of China, along with his daughter will be arriving to our empire in a few days. They have started their journey through ship so they shall be here in sometime. They are coming here to congratulate us on our marriage and maybe some political alliances but that is none of your concern.”
His tone is mocking.
“What should be your concern is that you’re going play the perfect wife in front of them, and if you don’t, my love?” he smiles, sickly at you.
“There will be severe consequences. Because you don’t seem to be wanting my love. So instead, I’m going give you my anger and my hatred.”
Those words of his send shivers down your spine because he says them such practiced ease. And what’s even more unsettling is the fact that his eyes seem to be empty and cold.
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salt-baby · 3 months ago
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I just don't understand people who don't do a COVID test when they get sick
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starry-bi-sky · 6 months ago
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#battinson with chronically ill half dead teenager yesssssssss#I'm imagining that first night he brings danny to the cave and hes just internally panicking#like what do i do with this kid. where do i put him. i cant just leave him in the cave. im DEFINITELY not leaving him alone
FRRRR. Like @/that1badassbitch mentioned in the comments, Bruce's thoughts that entire time was just varying pitches of internal screaming. Which I am still wheezing at because yeah, preach. Bruce's pov from the moment Danny accosts him in the alley to him bringing Danny into the cave ranges from awkward panicking, genuine desperation to get this kid some help, a lot of heartbreak on the boy's behalf, and also just pure anger at his godfather.
Cuz like, who the fuck does this?? How dare he. This boy is a child. If it weren't for Danny's genuine terrified pleading, Bruce would've probably had a confrontation with Vlad. He would've lost, considering Vlad's power set and Bruce's lack of and Vlad would have gotten away with Danny. But he would've tried it. (Could've resulted in a spin-off au where Bruce, after losing to Vlad, proceeds to hunt the bastard down to save Danny.)
But yeah, I absolutely, delightfully agree that Battinson is just. internally panicking the entire time. From the rooftops, to the car, to the driving all the way to the cave -- which, after a quick google search, is apparently in an abandoned train depot in Batman (2022). Which is fascinating to me, but I digress. His internal monologue consists of cussing out Danny's godfather, trying to figure out what the poison is, a repetitive use of the word "FUCK", and him going "keep him awake keep him awake keep him aWAKE--"
But like, in a more Bruce Wayne fashion.
Danny is curled up in the passenger seat beside him and Bruce keeps intermittently checking on him every few seconds. Danny just looks like shit, man. Poor kid has a seemingly unending bloody nose, he's coughed a few times already and each time sounds like its shaking through his lungs and taking a piece out. His breathing is hollow, quietly raspy, and Danny sounds like he's gasping each time he breathes in. He's pale, clammy and sweating, but trembling, and his eyes are glazed over, unfocused, and half-lidded.
Dealer's choice here but I'm very amused but also fond of the idea that Bruce, in an attempt to do anything to soothe this kid, panic-clips off his cape and kinda just. throws it at him. Cringes, then awkwardly tries to adjust it so it's laying over him like a blanket.
It works though! Danny, through his haze, cracks a smile at him before grabbing the cape and practically curling around it. He seems to visibly relax, and Bruce silently slumps with relief that his idea worked. I also think he tries to painfully make some sort of small talk but frankly the only valid form of "small talk" he knows is interrogation. Danny's too out of it to mind though.
Bruce asks him if he knows what his godfather used to poison him.
("Blood Bl'ssom.") ("What is that?") ("A k'nda plant. Issa type o' rose.") ("Where can I find one?") ("Y'can't.") (And hear Bruce's blood chills for a moment. "What do you mean?") ("Blossoms went extinct in th- in the 1600s.") ("What? How is that possible? How'd your godfather get his hands on one?") ("Science.")
He also learns that the poison is, horrifyingly, cannibalistic, and Danny reassures him that he kinda stopped feeling the pain a few hours ago. Then he gags on nothing and spirals into an ugly coughing fit. "...Mostly." He adds on.
I have this very vivid mental image of Battinson screeching to a stop in the cave, Alfred's off to the side messing with some prototype gadgets. Bruce's side door swings open and Alfred's in the middle of snarkily asking if he's decided to get a reasonable amount of sleep tonight, only to immediately eat his tongue when Bruce beelines to the other side of the car and frantically pulls a waifish victorian kid with the tuberculosis blood cough to match out of the passenger's side.
("Dear god, what happened!?") ("His godfather poisoned him. I need towels and every medical device we have in here.")
The few photos I could find of the Battinson Cave did not imply there was a gurney in there, so Bruce uses on of the metal tables. He uses one arm to swipe off all the stuff on there onto the floor before laying Danny down.
It's. a very stressful time! That's for sure. Bruce is stuck between trying to get some form of antidote or at the very least a neutralizer to the blood blossom extract made, and also reassuring Danny that he's going to be fine. He's out of his depth.
They do get Danny stabilized though! How? Uh, I hadn't actually been able to think of how up until now, and this is just me trying to throw together an idea up on the fly. But Bruce like, manages to make some kind of 'antidote' that doesn't completely kill the blood blossom extract, but it makes the poison at least forcibly slow down.
[Forced to put a read more because this got SO LONG. oops]
"like what do i do with this kid. where do i put him. i cant just leave him in the cave. im DEFINITELY not leaving him alone" <<< is his sudden internal crisis after Danny's stabilized and passed out on the table. Giving him back to his godfather is completely off the fucking table, and Bruce can't give him up to CPS because there's a risk that he'll also return to his godfather.
He ends up, unsurprisingly to all of us, on deciding to keep Danny with him for the time being. At least until they can get his godfather behind bars. And you're right! Danny can't stay in the cave -- it's a half-furnished, rundown train depot. There's a tetanus shot waiting around each corner. It's Bruce's (reluctant) idea to take him up to the manor.
So Danny wakes up in an incredibly gothic guest bedroom, not feeling 100%, but also not feeling like total death like he did yesterday. He can still feel the blood blossom in him -- it leaves a joint and muscle soreness throughout his whole body, and when he breathes there's a weight there.
His confusion over where he woke up -- because it's very much not Vlad's place -- is overshadowed by his frank awe. You can't tell me he hasn't developed an appreciation and fondness of gothness due to his friendship with Sam. He might not be into it like Sam is, but he can appreciate the beauty when it's right in front of him.
#and hes got that awkward silent staring thing going on. Danny's trying not to die and vlads not there anymore#so hes unbothered by it really
Bruce pulled up a chair next to Danny's bed in the manor and didn't move a single inch the entire time. Just. sat there and stared to make sure the kid didn't stop breathing in the middle of the night. Probably has some facial recognition scanner going to try and figure out Danny's last name -- whether that works or not is dealer's choice frankly.
Either way, Danny turns his head to the left and nearly jumps three feet into the air when he sees Bruce and his 'stares into your soul' blue eyes. Sends him into a minor coughing fit by accident. Battinson very awkwardly and quietly apologizes. danny kinda just waves him off.
That's a whole conversation I'm not gonna go into, but to sum it up Bruce asks how Danny's feeling, and Danny tells him that he feels better, but he can still feel the blood blossom poison. So whatever he did, didn't get rid of all of it. (He's still incredibly fucking grateful nonetheless)
cue that "getting to know you" interrogation stuff.
(Danny can probably keep the full extent of his halfa status a secret from Bruce at first, but he is forced to tell Bruce about the ectoplasm running through him since it's the only reason the blood blossom toxin even works on him. Which results in him telling him a.. slightly omitted version of why he even has that in there in the first place.)
(Maybe he reveals that he was a hero in order to convince Bruce to let him out on the field rather than being just support? I've got ideas and fortunately your tags will help me delve into them)
#alfred pretends to be exasperated that bruce kidnapped a kid but honestly hes relieved#maybe being responsible for someone else will make bruce more responsible for his own health
no notes. just know that i'm wheezing at this. my friend @kingcrow01 had Alfred essentially reacting the same fucking way.
#the media would eat it up are you kidding??? the reclusive prince of gotham seen with a mysterious child???#and theyve both got that sickly pathetic wet cat look to them what with bruce constantly being injured and danny being chronically poisoned
FR! I love social media shenanigans and I love seeing it in fic (Lex Luthor's Ascent From Supervillainy To Fatherhood is a really good example of it imo), although i'm not too good at making it myself. Imagining how twitter in-universe might react to photo evidence of Danny with Bruce is going to fuel my desire for seeing people's reactions to things for ages. I am delighted to imagine that dumpster fire. The in-universe memes, guys.
Nobody has any clue what this mysterious Wayne child looks like for the longest time because Danny follows Bruce's lead and dresses in Anti-Paparazzi Recluse Fits. Mostly because he's the godchild of an equally reclusive and influential billionaire figure, and I imagine Vlad would pitch a media fit trying to find his poor, beloved godson.
Can you imagine the fucking SCANDAL if people found out that Vlad Masters' godson ran off and was currently living with recluse Gotham Prince Bruce Wayne? The tabloids would eat this shit up. It's a three-course meal that's paying their rent for the next three months. That's not even to say what Vlad might do upon finding out Danny's whereabouts.
So yeah, photo evidence of Danny only has shots of him wearing a large hoodie, one of Bruce's jackets, and a medical face mask and a hat. It doesn't hide any of the Sickly Pathetic Wet Cat look, if anything it enhances it. But you can see his bright 'staring into your soul like the oracle of delphi' blue eyes, and the black curls plastering his face, and his pale skin.
In some photos, as blurry as they are, Danny appears to be leaning into Bruce's side, seemingly using him as a support. The "antidote" (medicine?) Bruce created that first night was effective, but it wears off eventually. Before they make his medical bracelets, the both of them agree to use the antidote Bruce made to stave off the worst of the poison.
These photos are taken around the times the antidote was wearing off or had worn off, and the toxin was taking itself out of the backseat and shifting back into high gear. Despite that, Danny managed to convince Bruce to let him tag along on whatever shopping run he was on.
Someone took one of these photos and captioned it "Pathetic Wet Cat and his Sickly Pathetic Wet Kitten" and posted it on SMS. It got numbers.
Oh my god, I just thought of this but when Battinson is finally cornered by reporters asking him about Danny he does this:
he internally panics, and then with a straight face says "i don't know what you're talking about. i don't have a son." and then he Flees.
(this blows up in his face because the reporter he responded to never asked him if Danny was his son, they asked him who the boy seen with him was. Bruce is trending on twitter before he even makes it home. He's mortified. There's potential here for a scene between Bruce and Danny where they have that long-awaited 'are we family?' conversation.)
#i know everyone's focusing on danny working as a hero with batman and his relationships with dick and jason and everyone as the older siblin#but im still stuck on early days batman with a teenager to care for and how that dynamic is going to be SO DIFFERENT#than that same bruce with a 9 year old Dick. like the circumstances are so different and hes never bat-dopted a kid before this
NO BECAUSE YOU GET IT. YOU GET IIIIT! I fucking love older brother danny, however the biggest appeal of the "eldest son danny" idea is in fact how he and bruce's relationship would have to play out in order for that to happen. You could argue that Danny could be an 'older brother figure' to the Robins and still not have any familial affiliation with Batman, but the fact of the matter is, simply? I want that familial affiliation with Bruce. I want to see how that would play out, and how it would develop.
I am. a scientist prodding a little glass stirring rod at the potential family dynamic of Bruce Wayne and Danny Fenton and going, in complete wonderment and awe, "wow. fascinating. how does that work? how did you happen? what made you? how can i do it again?"
I also think there could be something fascinating over the fact that Bruce Wayne watched his parents die in front of him, while Danny's parents don't even know Danny died at all. A (once) child with dead parents, and a dead child with living parents. I think there's something to be explored there, I just haven't yet figured out what.
And yeah! a teen is completely different than an 8 year old. They're in very different developmental stages in their life, and that's not even addressing their lifestyle differences. When I made this prompt I mentally kinda just placed the death of danny's parents as having happened a few months ago. To me, it feels like enough time for Vlad's temperament to escalate from bad to worse, and for him to actually cook up that blood blossom toxin.
Danny's at a different mourning period compared to Dick, who was brought in while it wasn't even a day old. Maybe Danny hasn't had much time to mourn his family as much as he's wanted because he's been stuck in survival mode living with Vlad, and once he feels secure with Bruce he can finally tap into that grief he's been keeping on the backburner.
Lots of things to explore that can adjusted and changed as needed! Very flexible.
All in all though, I am a sucker for found family and in order for Danny to have family in Dick and the others, he needs to find it with Bruce.
#and this one has a crazy demon murder godfather and poison blood and a history of punching otherworldly apocalypse-creatures#into another dimension. no parenting book will help.
no notes here other than yeah, agreed, wheeze. The good news is that he doesn't need to be completely afraid that those otherworldly potential-apocalypse kickstarters will show up at any random point, Because, imo, Danny shut down and destroyed the portal before he could be shipped off in order to prevent anyway (cough-the GIW-cough) from accessing it. Vlad's the only one with a working portal currently and he's not as careless as the fentons are as to keep it open willy-nilly.
now the only thing he needs to worry about is the crazy demon godfather and the flora-boros blood toxin in his son's veins! whoo.
#and like yeah danny will want to help gotham and save people#but honestly? with his new limitations and no expectations from a previous robin do you think he would do it the same way?
I love this question! because honestly when I was initially expanding on this idea on my own, my initial answer was "no" due to the toxin's limitations. I had the same idea as you where Danny takes on a more 'oracle' role where he's not out in the field, but he's still helping behind the scenes. I was torn between "logically would this happen" as well as "chronically ill people aren't delicate flowers, they can do things" and a little dash of "okay but i really want nightingale out in the field"
In the end I decided that I liked the idea of Danny actually out with Bruce, and that as a result there would need to appropriate consequences and drawbacks for this decision.
#idk guys he fights ghosts because no one else can#i think he'd probably play a much more supportive role. at least at first. << you're totally right, too. And Danny's motivations for wanting to help in Gotham would have to be different than in Amity Park. Oooo this has good character growth potential.
Danny helps Amity Park out of a sense of obligation right? Like obviously it's also because he's a good person, but ultimately it kinda comes across as an obligation. He's the only one who can, so he's the one to do it, despite the fact that throughout the show he's shown to want that normal life. There's guilt there if he doesn't do anything; he has the power to stop this, so why shouldn't he?
(Oo, doesn't that sound kinda familiar? Guilt over something he ultimately has no control over, but thinks he could have?)
So! For him to choose to decide to rejoin the hero life, and not just from behind the curtain, feels like a pretty big character decision to me. Especially because now, he doesn't really have the power to help. Not like he did before.
He's sickly, essentially powerless because using his powers speeds up the toxin, and equipped only with his wits, his creativity, and whatever fighting skills he may have acquired during his time as Phantom -- and whatever martial arts prowess the author decides to have Maddie pass down to Danny.
He's not doing this because he feels like he has to, but because he wants to. I think that's pretty cool.
You reminded me that ideas can be combined too! It's dealers choice for anyone who wants to throw their hat into the ring in how Danny decides to join the frontline fight.
I'm going to kinda contradict myself here but one of my ideas for Danny going from behind-the-scenes to in-your-face-scenes is just. Batman needing backup for a fight. I'm not going to go into specifics for who he's facing, because frankly i'm not sure myself, but he needs backup.
And Danny, who likes to sit in the cave more often than not, waiting for Bruce to come back, sees this through whatever cameras are available. He's stressed out, worried for Batman's safety. This could be a good catalyst for the overarching subplot of him rejoining the hero scene as well as hey, maybe realizing that he doesn't need his powers to help people.
Danny's warring with himself about what to do. Trying to soothe his anxieties by reminding himself that Bruce is an incredible fighter and good at getting out of tight spots, telling himself it would be fine. Rebuffing the little voice in his mind saying he should help by telling it that he might make things worse. And when his subconscious tries to tell him that he can help, he rebuffs it by saying does he need to?
And there, right there, is what's been playing on repeat for however long it takes for him to become nightingale. Every night: "I can help, but do I need to?" and during this night is when he has an epiphany; "No, but I want to."
it's like the sun peaking through the clouds after weeks of gray skies. He wants to help. He can help, but not because he should or because he's able to, although that is important, but because he wants to.
So he finds where Bruce hides the face paint, smears what he think is an adequate amount on his face -- it looks almost mask like. And hunts down one of the spare utility belts -- he ends up having to wrap it around his shoulder and torso like a bandolier due to how tall Bruce is and how willowy Danny is. he already has a hoodie on, and pulls it up over his head. And fuck it, i'm calling down the Rule of Cool Law. Danny finds one of Bruce's spare capes and tears it up to make a makeshift scarf to better hide his face. He gets some other tools he needs that he knows Bruce uses, and then he's off.
(Bruce is both very shocked and very upset when Danny comes crashing through the ceiling with a faux-confident; "Hiyo, B! You're looking pretty bat-tered, so I thought I'd come in and give a helping claw!")
(Results in what I think is a very funny post-fight conversation where they have something of a hissed argument in front of the half-conscious criminals. "what are you doing here?!" "i wanted to help!" "where'd you learn to fight like this?" "mom taught me" -> which causes a fucking BUZZ in the criminal underground when word gets out.)
there's conflict. argument over bruce not wanting danny to come out to help him. Until danny eventually wins out in the end by pulling up footage of phantom on the batcomputer, revealing his previous hero status, and pure damn stubbornness. Bruce agrees but only after he updates Danny's self-defense and gets him a proper suit.
#alfred cant handle TWO wet rats getting beat up every night lol
singling this out because it's funny and you're rIGHT.
#danny innovating new and better bat gadgets. making good humanitarian use of the wayne money in ways that would make sam proud. #making sure alfred isnt the only thing standing between bruce and bruce's death at the hands of the city he loves
Danny's bambi eyes are lethal work, and Alfred's favorite employ whenever Bruce is being stubborn. Even after rejoining the active hero scene, Danny will still team up with Alfred to drag Bruce to bed or rest. Excuse you, don't make the same mistakes he did! He's the elder hero here!
Danny churns out so many anti-ghost gadgets for Bruce for the inevitable confrontation with Vlad, along with non-ecto gadgets just because he wants him safe. It becomes an unusual bonding experience for the both of them to come up with gadget ideas together and then figuring out how to make it work, and then building them together.
Vigilante equivalent of helping dad in the garage except you're both fixing the car and telling the other to grab them the 3/5th quarter-inch flathead screwdriver from the toolbox.
Danny is delighted to have someone to bounce ideas off of with, as does Bruce.
For the good old "fights are one of the ways ghosts socialize" trope: They have regular training sessions, but it's Danny who asks if they could sometimes just have some for-fun sparring sessions. Then has to very embarrassedly explain to Bruce that it's just something ghosts do with each other to socialize sometimes.
Bruce reads between the lines and sees it for what it is: play fighting. Danny's asking to play fight. There are no parenting books on taking care of a half-ghost teen, but he immediately thinks on a documentary on lions he saw a while ago and agrees.
These play fights more often than not result in Danny being tossed around like a ragdoll and loving it -- he's light as feathers and being thrown up into the air feels like he's flying again. Something he can't do anymore for obvious reasons. Plus the ghostly bonding thing.
I don't have much to add about the humanitarian use of wayne money thing, i agree. It also makes Bruce proud and could help inspire him to start getting more involved with Wayne Industries so he can start using his parents' company for humanitarian use as well.
#MAN imagine the fluff of danny learning to decipher bat grunts#if anyone has experience seeing past the crazy obsessive seemingly single minded focus of a parental figure and to the real love and care#that exists so deeply and truly under and throughout it all it'll be danny
aaaaaa, man you're so right. i was talking to crow about this but, for context, the idea was that Nightingale has a tendency to sometimes bite his opponents. And it's become something almost like a signature surprise move because he has Ghost Fangs, but the first time this happens its during some kind of gang fight between B, Gale, and a handful of goons.
However, the fight halts to surprised stop when one of the guys shrieks out; "OW, HE BIT ME!" and like a spell, everyone turns, flabbergasted, towards the guy who said it. Because what the fuck did you mean he bit you, wHY IS HE BITING.
And there, hanging off the guy's arm with all the smug self-satisfaction of a cat, is Nightingale, with his fangs still chomped down onto the guy's arm. There's a few seconds of silence, long enough for everyone to see what's going on, before Gale reorients his momentum and kicks the guy square in the jaw; knocking him out cold.
The thing that catches everyone's attention is that Nightingale drew blood. They watch, half-terrified, half-baffled, as the kid scrunches his nose up, wipes at his mouth, and makes a noise of disgust. He turns to look at Batman, who has also stopped what he's doing to stare as well.
Nightingale asks him; "Am I gonna have to get checked for this?"
Rather than deign him with a response, Batman remains silent. They stare at each other for three whole seconds, before Nightingale clicks his tongue like Batman had said something he didn't like, but expected.
"Aw, okay." Then without missing a beat, he turns and launches himself like a feral cat at the closest person next to him, and the room descends back into chaos once more.
Man, I'm just imagining them working next to each other on their own personal project, and Danny will quietly ask for Bruce's opinion on something. Bruce gives him a single grunt, and Danny's silent for a moment, contemplative, before muttering something like "huh, i guess you're right" or "oh, good idea."
Danny eventually adopts Bruce's little "hrm" quirk himself, and it slowly goes from: "hey, what do you think about this?" "hrm" "that's what I thought too" to: "..hmn?" "hm."
The ever consistent urge to make Your Blorbo The Most Specialist Character On The Block Ever is forever a plague of mine, and I'm very tempted to say that Danny is the only other kid except Cass who can do the "hm?" "hn" thing back to back with Bruce. Don't get me wrong, the other batkids can do the "Hey X thing" "hm" "okay" thing, and on some level can do the "hm" "hm" thing too, but they can't do it quite to the same extent as Danny can, and its from those years where it was just the two of them.
but yess!! I agree! Danny's got experience with that kind of obsessiveness, Bruce reminds him a lot of his parents that way and he understands it the best out of all his siblings as a result. It also means, however, that he willingly goes in to drag Bruce out of whatever obsessive rabbit hole he's fallen into, if he feels that Bruce has been too hyperfocused on something. He saw it with his parents, and it ended up killing them. He's not losing another dad because of his foolish tunnel vision.
#bruce is so much quieter than his parents but man if danny doesnt understand him. and maybe bruce comes to learn what dannys used to as well#comes to learn to speak his affection and open up so much more. to make danny feel more comfortable and welcome
AGAIN, NO NOTES. This is perfect and yes. I've got nothing to add.. okay I lied, i just needed a moment to think. Bruce isn't the most physically affectionate person, but he starts to be thanks to Danny, who is very tactile. Same thing with verbal praise, Danny hardly got any of it in school or, regretfully, at home since Jazz tended to get all the praise.
Bruce tells him "good eye" once after Danny spotted something before Bruce did, and Danny preened so brightly Bruce genuinely wondered if stars were going to appear over his head. He'd gotten his hands on video footage about Phantom that had shown him doing that exact same thing.
(oh which reminds me. The moment Danny tells Bruce about his previous hero experience as Phantom, Bruce goes on a research helldive to get his hands on everything about it. He's watched every single video showing Phantom. There were very few videos of Phantom that weren't videos of his fights, which were horrifying to watch on multiple levels.
Including but not limited to the fact that ghosts could apparently survive the most lethal of injuries, and he was never going to get the image of Phantom yanking a steel pipe out of his chest out of his head, or him pulling out a broken chunk of glass from his throat.)
(It was even worse seeing videos of Danny's parents shooting at him. That was a long, uncomfortable conversation.)
Another time Bruce is asking Danny about being a ghost, and Danny wistfully tells him that the thing he misses most is flying. Grappling through the city is the closest thing to it, but it's still fundamentally different -- and in some ways more exciting -- than flying. The closest comparison he could give is an indoor skydiving ring.
Bruce, a week later, rents out an indoor skydiving ring for the day and Danny spends hours inside the wind tunnel. He tells Bruce all about the similarities and differences in the car on the drive home, and then tells him that next time Bruce should try it too.
Just, all-in-all, seeing how these two interact and impact each other is what makes this so appealing to me. Especially with early years Batman. And I had so much fun typing all this out, thanks for the opportunity to infodump haha.
#UGH OP THIS POST TT-TT
AH YOUR TAGS <33
I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt
“Woah. You look like shit."
Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
#fr tho. anyone reading this should look up the Battinson Wayne Manor if they don't know what it looks like. It is SO goth and i love it#its gorgeous imo#i was looking up battinson movie clip compilations last night and my favorite fucking line from him is and will always be#[“we just got you on assaulting an officer!”] “you got me on assaulting three" LIKE YOU SASSY MFER. THATS HILARIOUS DUDE#batman being a troll is my favorite thing ever and ever and eVER. im adding these tags as i go along can you tell#found family doesn't need labels but in this case im putting them on there.#flora-boros is a play on of the word 'flora' and 'ouroboros'. eyy. get it? flora because. well. the blood blossom is a flower and ouroboros#cuz the ouroboros is the self-regenerating snake eating its own tail for all of eternity. ectoplasm is the tail and the flower is the head#personally i really like the idea that danny's got some proficient martial arts skills thanks to his mom. skill may vary.#but if i were to apply it to BB. danny can hold his own pretty well but he's not anywhere near batman's level. he's creative tho.#wow this took me a long time to reply to. somehow?? danny gets a scarf because that's the design i gave nightingale and i think it fucks#this reminds me. danny purrs and has other minor ghostly stuff he does instinctively in his human form. that kinda fucks him over because#it activates or disturbs the ectoplasm in his blood. which in turn disturbs the toxin. it won't make him severely sick. things like#coughing fits are common. but so is nausea. hot flashes. fatigue. chronic pain. sometimes vomiting. the whole ugly nine yards.#smth smth there's an appeal to the tragedy between the man who never fully grew up cause of his parents' death. and the kid who#never got the chance to after his parents caused his death.#throwaway idea: after bruce is told about Danny's accident and subsequent death he later goes out and silently makes Danny a grave#he doesnt think it's fair that danny never got one. its simple and subtle bc he doesn't really wanna bring it up with danny.#im trying to think of what it would look like and. throwaway design but it's a stone tree stump where instead of just plain rings there's a#star chart carved into the flat part. it looks like just a kinda dramatic statue but behind it Bruce has a small plaque and Danny's epitaph#on it. its in the only part of the garden that's not overgrown and bruce plants flowers around it. he thinks it could work as an adequate#substitute until Danny can get a proper headstone. It's danny's favorite spot in the whole garden and he doesn't get why. he thinks its#the star chart. bruce has found danny fast asleep beside the stone tree; using the flat part as a head rest; more times than he can count#mmmm i think thats everything i've got in my head for now.
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loverboybrightsideghost · 2 months ago
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they should invent a way to ask if you have felt suicidal or have had suicidal thoughts at the doctor when they ask where you'll answer truthfully. i am fine and i always fight the suicidal thoughts but i went to the urgent care the other day and they asked and i said no no nothing like that. but i lied! of course i have! i've been vaguely fantasizing about getting hit by a car the past few days!!! i truly hate suicide for Reasons, it makes me incredibly sad and distressed, and for myself sometimes i don't even realize it's started creeping into my head again (i'm fine i genuinely promise) but like. as much as i hate it, it's there in some of my friends and me and i have to wonder about the fact that "yeah, but doesn't everyone at least a little bit?" isn't the right answer.
#bluebird.txt#i'm like sociologically interested why it's so 'popular' or common for people to joke about killing themselves#again. i fucking hate it. i abhor it. i detest it. but the fact is that is how people talk.#and i wonder how many of those people are truly suicidal and how many have never had to ever worry night after night#if the last time they saw their friend would be the last time. if they went to sleep thinking please let them be at school tomorrow.#please let them text me back.#at least you're still here.#how many people who say 'i'm gonna kill myself!!!' over a stupid insignificant test have actually felt that looming horror#how many of those people have truly felt in their souls that life is not worth living and that no one would notice if they weren't there#tomorrow#i ask genuinely. how many? is it that bad that we're all suicidal? am i right in saying 'doesn't everybody feel like that?'#or are some of you just being dramatic cunts who don't know what the fuck they're saying#or has everyone gone through at least one thing that would make them want to end it and am i just being cruel?#i am a positive person. this is partially bc it is in my nature to be excited abt things but mostly it is on purpose.#every day it is on purpose. it's a habit ive built and sometimes the habit falters. sometimes i don't realize when ive started slipping.#but eventually i always do and it sucks shit and it's hard as fuck and annoying as fuck bc it's so much easier to lay down and never#get up again but i fucking choose to get up because life is meant to be lived and you have to live on purpose in order#for your life to be anything that YOU want it to be rather than living in everyone else's world#you have to live in purpose. i live on purpose. and it annoys me so strongly#that there seem to be (again i could be wrong and arrogant and cruel for assuming this) so many people#for whom it takes very little effort to get up in the morning#people who don't spend like 99% of their time Thinking and Thinking and cancelling out the Bad Thinking on purpose#people for whom life is if not easy bc it's not easy for anybody than who don't have to deal with the fucking baggage some of us have#maybe i'm arrogant. maybe years of being told i'm weird and i still haven't managed to get rid of the instinct to make that gap even bigger#maybe maybe maybe. but also i think maybe some of you should shut the damn fuck up and enjoy what you have. if i can then so can you.
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agirlsguidetolove · 1 year ago
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I THOUGHT YOU KNEW
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pairings: theodore nott x reader
word count: 0.9k
summary: “i thought you knew?” “you thought i knew we were dating?” “yes!” “how would i know that, nott, you never told me.”
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Theodore Nott had dead eyes. That was something you had learned early on in your friendship with the boy; never expect his eyes to tell you anything. But, right now, you couldn’t help but wonder if your own advice was wrong because the look he was giving you in the moment was the farthest thing to dead. Alive.
Theodore’s eyes were ablazed, like you had lit a match in his face just as he had done with his cigarettes the night before. They looked on fire as he glared off at you, standing and chatting with some Ravenclaw boy who had decided to make the stupid of going to a slytherin party and talking to Theo’s girl.
It was a common fact that you and Theo had something, everyone knew. Well, maybe except for you.
Maybe that’s why you hadn’t expected for Theodore to waltz up to you and your new friend and throw an arm over your shoulder, and stand and listen to you too talk, not saying a word.
“Think we should get out of here?” Was the first thing he said to you, well, whispered into your ear, pulling you closer.
“I’m okay here, Teddy,” you said. Theo visible softened, melting into you at the nickname only you were allowed to call him. “You can go, though. I’ll be alright, promise.”
Theo smiled at you as you patted his arm that was wrapped around your shoulder, watching as your attention drifted back to whoever this guy was. He sighed.
“I know,” Theo started before your Ravenclaw friend interrupted.
“Yeah, mate, we’ll be okay,” he said. Theo hardened, dead eyes becoming colder as he took his arm off your shoulder, stepping forward and shoving the guy.
“Was I fucking talking to you, mate?” he spit.
“Woah!” you cut, pulling Theo back with your hand to his chest, “What the hell, Theo?”
“Yeah,” the Raveclaw pants. “What the hell, Nott? Calm down!”
Theodore sneers, glaring harshly ate the boy before hissing, “Fuck off,” and pushing past him and bumping his shoulder aggressively as he makes his way out of the common room.
Staring of at his fuming figure you quickly apologize to the boy before chasing off after Theo. When you find him, he’s angrily pacing through the hallway, running a hand through his hair.
“Theo,” you state angrily. Theo’s head whips to where you stand before shaking his head and choosing to walk away from you and down the hall.
“Theo!” you yell, walking quickly behind him. “What the fuck was that about? Can you wait for a second and talk to me?”
Theo stops, allowing you to catch up to him. You can practically see the steam coming out when he turns to you. “What am I supposed to do?” he asks bitterly. “Just let him flirt with you?”
“What?” you ask, just as bitter. “What are you talking about? Why’d you have to fucking shove, Dylan?”
Dylan. Theodore scoffs, getting madder by the second. He takes a step closer, towering over you. “So I’m just supposed to stand there when some prick is running up on my girlfriend!”
Girlfriend? What the hell was he on about. “Girlfriend?” you question, softer.
“Yes! You’re my girlfriend!” Theodore shouted. He just wasn’t getting it, was he?
“What?” you spluttered. “Since when?”
“What,” Theo got quieter.
“i didn’t know…” you said. “when did we start dating?…o-officially?”
“You didn’t know?” he repeated, incredulous. “I… I thought… I thought you knew?”
“You thought I knew we were dating?” You were getting louder, voice echoing off the walked.
“Yes!” Theo yelled, eyes getting sadder.
“How would I know that, Nott, you never told me!”
Theodore shakes his head, again getting gentle. “Don’t start calling me ‘Nott’ now, angel, you don’t do that.”
“Theo,” you reiterated, taking a breath. “When did we— when did we start ‘dating’.”
Theo looks like a kicked puppy when he says, “Last trip to Hogsmeade. We kissed.”
Looking at the ground, you say, “Just because we kissed doesn’t mean we’re dating.”
“To me, it did!”
“You kiss plenty of girls that you’re not dating!” you argue.
Theo scoffs, “They’re not you, now are they?”
“Teddy,” you say, tears quickly forming in your eyes. Looking up at him, he purses his lips, heart breaking in his chest. “Why couldn’t you have just asked me to be your girlfriend?”
“Love, I… I thought you knew, didn’t I?”
“Yeah,” you swallow, hugging yourself with your own arms, still holding in your tears. “Well, I didn’t.”
It’s silent between you both for a moment, nothing but you staring at the floor and Theo staring at you. Theo takes a small step forward, his hands touching where you hold yourself. “Would you?” he says, “Be my girlfriend, if I asked?”
“Yeah,” you chuckle, looking up at him, “if you’d ask, you dick.”
Theo chuckles, dipping his head low and putting his lips against yours. His lips are so soft, despite how he tastes like liquor and cigarettes. He breaks apart from you, hand coming to caress your cheek. “Would you be my girlfriend?”
“Yes, I would.”
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not proof read 🧸
i 🫶 theo nott
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grocerystoredean · 11 months ago
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panem dash simulator
peeniss4everlark Follow
NOOOOOOOOOO
officialsenecacrane Follow
me when i lie
districtfun Follow
i heard from my uncle who works at hunger games that they're only pulling from everlark shippers when they do the quarter quell
gurlonfire
thats funny because when i was fucking your uncle last night he told me they're only pulling from bitchy district one stans
catohead69 Follow
we poppin the biggest bottles when cato wins
catohead69 Follow
theeclove Follow
okay but is anyone else pissed how the district 11 guy literally did favoritism for late districts or what
rues-song
the careers literally did an alliance r u fucking kidding me i hope u get reaped
theeclove
clearly SOMEBODY doesnt understand the strategy of the games
career-sweep Follow
PLEASE tag your hunger games spoilers. this is literally common sense the games have been going on for 74 years you should know better by now
#hunger games spoilers #SOOO pissed rn theres never been a live announcement and now i found out from fucking everlarks
maytheodds Follow
Yes I'm a 30 yr old hunger games watcher. I've been watching kids die since you were in diapers. You have NO idea the tragedies I've endured. Hunger games is escapism for many of us when I come home from a long day of logging the last thing I need is for some 13 yr old tribute dying in a high stakes competition that we ALL knew was high stakes starting a riot and destroying all the nations grain
corholeanussnow
lmao. get a load of this guy
girlalcoholic Follow
haymitch stans rise tf up
#yes girl get that salve #i would fuck that old man
cinnagirl3000 Follow
i wld nvr survive in thg fr baby im killing myself
#thnk goddddd im cap 😁 #i woulda stepped tf off that platform cinna its been an honor
caeserflickerwoman Follow
does anyone else think it was fucked that peeta invaded ceasar's space when he CLEARLY wasn't comfortable with being SNIFFED by a STRANGER
softgreenpillow
fuck you this is clearly so fucking capitol-centric no one in the capitol would ever be comfortable with any districtperson doing ANYTHING these days. it is capitol-boot-licking scum like you that holds the movement back. get BLOCKED idiot
butchjohanna Follow
Just something I've noticed I think we as a fandom have gotten WAY too comfortable using the phrase "get reaped" as an insult, when it's a very serious reality that many children live with and should not be taken this lightly. Some people online have had to put their names in more for necessities like bread or water and the absolute terror that grips a person waiting for their name to be called doesn't leave you even in adulthood. Please think before you speak
#many of you are not acting in a way that johanna would be proud of. get it together #reaping mention
starcrossedluvrs Follow
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lqveharrington · 27 days ago
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Golden Snitch | D.M.
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summary: You don’t tell Draco what you’re dressing up as, and when he sees you, he can’t help but be enamored.
pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader
includes: kissing, underage drinking, talks of sex, cursing
a/n: holding a poll for a similar imagine but a different character! (will post the other imagine in two days and poll in three!)
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Halloween was a big thing at Hogwarts. Each house held their own parties and own costume competitions; There would be snacks — courtesy of the kitchen elves — and drinks smuggled in from home or Hogsmeade. It was one of the best nights throughout the school year.
From your fourth year to your very last, you enjoyed every single second. Of course, you were dressed differently every year in hopes to win the costume contests. You were the Corpse Bride, then Dorothy, then a pirate. But this year, you chose something a little closer to Hogwarts itself.
“You know we have to get down there now if you want to be in the competition, right?” Pansy flicked her hair back and adjusted her Cher outfit.
You huffed and finished the last bits of gold adorning your cheeks. You loved Pansy, you really did, but jesus, she was a stickler to rules and schedules sometimes.
“Look, I’m done now.” You dust your hands off and arrange your golden wings to be more presentable. “How do I look?”
“Hot.” Her eyes roamed over your body and winked at you. “Draco will totally drool.”
You send her an amused smile before rushing out the dorm hand in hand. When you got to the Slytherin common room, everyone and everything was already upbeat. The lights had been dimmed even more and green lights were casted all around. The floor was sticky in spilt drinks and the room reeked of sex.
"Let's go get drinks!" Pansy shouted over the loud music and elbowed her way through the mass of Slytherin students, gagging when one couple was getting too intimate on the dance floor. "I am so happy you and Draco have boundaries!"
You roll your eyes at her and grab a plastic cup, filling it with firewhisky and downing it fast enough to forget what Pansy had said. She gave you an unimpressed look and took her own shot.
After joining the infamous costume contest and winning, mingling with the others and downing more drinks, a fifth year finally announced the arrival of the Slytherin Prince himself. And the party only got rowdier from there.
The second the blonde stepped into the common room, drinks were shoved into his hands; A courtesy of Blaise. Draco made his way over to the group of seventh years he deemed his friends since childhood before his eyes landed on you.
His eyes roamed across your body. From the golden makeup adorning your gorgeous face to the golden dress that hugged your curves and accentuated them, it was like he fell in love all over again. He watched you down another drink and shook his head in amusement. You looked so confident and happy and excited and ethereal in what you wore that he wanted to keep you all to himself.
“Well, what do we have here?” His free hand found its way to the curve of your hip and pulled you close to him, smirking when your eyes get blown wide at his sudden presence. “You look ravishing.”
“I know. I won the competition like always.” You brag as you murmur and wrap a hand around his tie, softly tugging on it so you could meet his lips without needing to strain. “And who are you supposed to be?”
“James Bond.” He pulled you even closer, wanting to be completely flush against you. “But I should’ve worn my Quidditch uniform because I believe I have my eye on the golden snitch.”
The smile that graced your lips practically emits warmth when you realize Draco knew what you were. “You should probably keep your sight on her because she’s not straying far.”
“Better not.” He planted a mind searing kiss to your lips and thumbed the costume, parting when he felt how rough it was. “Your dress feels uncomfortable to the touch, love. It’s not real gold, is it?”
“No, not all of it. Daddy wouldn’t let me get one.” You sigh as you lean your head on his chest and hiccup when he pats your ass softly at the remark.
Draco could practically see the flashing signs around you saying how plastered you were, and it was truly entertaining at the most. He knew you were drunk when you flaunted your father’s money around, which you typically never do. He finished his cup before tossing it somewhere, holding your hip with two hands now.
You look up at him at the movement, wide eyes only reflecting your pupils. “What?”
“Nothing, love. Just admiring.” He scanned your body once more and planted a kiss to the top of your head. “How many drinks have you had so far?”
You shrug and gasp when someone poured a fresh round right behind Draco. “Let’s go get some more!”
He shook his head and locked his arms behind you, “No more for you. You are so fucking drunk.”
“I am not!” You huff and almost stomp your golden heel on the ground like a spoiled child. “Blaise and Pansy are! They’re practically fucking behind you!”
Draco pursed his lips and pulled you away from the center of the common room. It was funny how only during Halloween you would be more drunk than he was. Any other time, he would be absolutely plastered and ready to throw you over his shoulder for some quality time in the bedroom. Besides, he was also drunk, but not as drunk as you were at the moment.
“Hey—!” You whine and stumble up the staircase to his dorm. “Where are we going?”
“You’re done for tonight, my love.” He opened his shared dorm and quickly shut it behind him, quieting the room from the loud mass of music and people downstairs.
You blink at the sudden quietude and look up at him with eyes that made him want to abandon everything and take you there. Draco cleared his throat and adjusted himself, rubbing his palms against his eyes.
“Let’s get you changed into comfortable clothing, yeah?” He dug through his clothes to find a sweater and guided you toward the bathroom, flicking the light on.
“Draco?” You mumble as he sat you down on the counter and pulled your golden pumps off. “Draco.”
“Yes, baby?” He look up at you from his kneeled position, eyes equally blown wide. “What is it?”
You blink again and just watch him for a little longer, keeping eye contact with the blonde. Even in your intoxicated state you still found time to admire him.
“Nothing.” You sent him a cheeky smile at his expression, taking off your golden wings and handing them to him.
He stood from his spot and kissed your shoulder, “Do you wanna shower or go straight to bed?”
“Bed.” You yawn.
Draco hummed and helped your stand, slowly removing your dress and replacing it with his quidditch sweater. You smiled tiredly and leaned your body against his when he began wiping the makeup off your face, playing with the end of his tie.
“You remembered.” You murmur sleepily, blindly reaching for your toothbrush you kept in the boys dorm.
“I’ve been doing this for two years straight, I think I would know.” He handed you your toothbrush and toothpaste before removing the rest of your makeup and golden pins from your hair. “There.”
“Thank you.” You spoke with your toothbrush still in your mouth and leaned against the counter as Draco moved around you to change.
When you were both settled into bed, you wanted to just fall asleep right then and there, but you still had one thing to do. Your body was practically on top of his when you thought of it, your head rested on his bare shoulder.
“Draco?” You murmur and trace hearts on his chest, splaying your hand over his beating heart.
“Yeah?” He tilted his head over to you, resting his cheek on the top of your head.
“Happy third year anniversary.” You smile softly and fiddle with the promise ring he got you years ago.
“Happy anniversary, my love.” He hugged you tighter, head now buried in your shoulder and neck. “Thank you for being amazing.”
You kiss his cheek and sigh, “I love you.”
“I love you more than you could ever know.” Draco murmured and kissed you properly. “Cheers to three years.”
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aptericia · 10 months ago
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Not proud to be here.
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Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.
The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.
It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.
Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.
And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"
Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.
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On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.
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bweeeb · 4 months ago
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THREE AT ONCE
Part two of:
I hope I don't disappoint those who were really hoping for this part two, sorry for the mistakes and poor writing. Enjoy.
Warnings: foursome, sex with dirty words, Reader being a slut for the boys but them also being for her, Smut, Draco maybe staying aside... i don't know I felt that after I wrote it (my apologies). Read on your own.
Summary: Rumors about you and your best friends were spread around Hogwarts and what better than not to make them come true to strengthen your friendship?
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Rumors. You were sure that gossip came from a place full of unhappy people at a time when no one was happy. However, you were used to them and never thought you'd have so much fun with one.
— I think you should go for it. I wouldn't do it myself, but if I were you, I would.
You heard Pansy mumbling beside you and Daphne in the hall way.
— So, you're saying I'm a slut and would do it because of that? Parkinson, what the hell are you talking about?
A laugh escaped your lips, and Pansy immediately looked at you with a look of disdain at your interpretation.
— Shut up, you're their best friend, that's what I'm saying.
Pansy said, turning the corner towards the dungeons.
— If I had the same intimacy with them as you do, I'd do it too.
Daphne shrugged, and Parkinson clapped in celebration at her friend's words.
— That's what I meant to say.
— That's not the point, I can't fuck all three of them like a slut.
You argued while climbing the stairs to the common room.
— Oh, shut up. Of course, you can!
Pansy said to you once more, and another laugh escaped you.
— That's the second time you've told me to shut up, Parkinson.
— Listen, Draco Malfoy has a big dick, Mattheo Riddle must have a big dick, and Theodore Nott must have a big dick, live your life, Y/N, fuck them as much as you want.
Pansy shrugged and received two mischievous looks directed at her.
— Did you fuck Malfoy?
Daphne asked, and Pansy laughed nasally.
— Once, yes, and that's why I'm telling you.
Parkinson placed her hands on your shoulders. — They want to fuck you and made it clear, you trust them, they'd never hurt you, if all three wanted to share me, I'd be on all fours on this damn floor.
— You're their princess, Y/N. Enjoy it for God's sake.
That was the last thing said in the conversation before they entered the Slytherin common room and found the boys sitting in front of a fireplace.
— What were you girls talking about?
Mattheo was the first to ask with a sly smile on his face next to Theodore. Pansy and Daphne exchanged looks directed at you, who rolled your eyes and threw yourself next to Mattheo, who wrapped his arm around your shoulders almost immediately.
— What? What was that look?
Theo asked, and the two girls sat on the other couch near Blaise, who was reading a book.
— No.
You denied it to the two girls, who groaned in unison and threw their heads back.
— You totally want it.
Daphne said, and you laughed, shrugging.
— What are you talking about?
Draco grunted, and Pansy looked at you with a raised eyebrow. You immediately thought of the night you told them that Pansy had lost her virginity to Adrian Pucey. The boys kept bugging Parkinson for a month, but in your defense, you thought it was okay to tell, and now you knew Pansy would get revenge... or help you.
— We were talking about the four of you.
— The four of us? The four of us?
Theodore asked, pointing to himself, Draco, Mattheo, and you.
— What were you talking about?
Mattheo asked, opening a sly smile at the situation.
— About you guys having sex.
Pansy said, shrugging, and the three Slytherin boys' eyes fell on you once again like that last morning in your dormitory.
— Oh, and you totally want that, huh?
Riddle asked, lowering himself to your ear, and you scoffed with a smile on your face.
— I don't know, maybe I fantasized about it.
You said and got up from the leather couch while heading towards the stairs, but not before looking at Theo, Mattheo, and Draco and climbing to your dormitory. You knew what you were doing and had let your desires and needs control you just by the desperate look you received from your three boys, but you weren't worried about what it would turn into; you really wanted it a lot.
You didn't wait long until a knock on your door echoed through your dormitory, and you opened it as if you didn't want anything.
— Did you forget something here, boys?
You asked, and your steps moved away from the door when the three wild looks met your eyes. The door behind them closed, and Theodore pronounced "Muffliato" while Draco locked the door, and Mattheo smiled at you, taking small steps in your direction.
— So, you've been fantasizing about us three, huh?
Mattheo said, walking towards you slowly. His steps continued until the back of your knees met the edge of the mattress, making you stumble back and sit on your made bed.
— We all have fantasies, boys.
You said innocently, but contrary to your tone of voice, your eyes said much more than innocent things.
— I said there would be punishment, bellezza.
Theodore was the one who said it, approaching with his Italian accent in his voice, making the center between your legs heat up.
— What have you been fantasizing about, baby?
Mattheo asked with a mischievous smile on his face, looking at you with seductive eyes.
— Maybe I've fantasized about you all fucking me, maybe in my mouth, maybe in my ass, but whatever.
You joked and laughed after your sentence.
— Do you want that, princess? Do you want us to fuck you?
Draco was the one who asked, and his smile widened when he saw the three boys at your feet.
— How much can you take me, huh?
That was the last thing you said before the three of them started taking off their shirts and throwing them carelessly on the floor. Your confidence came from a place you didn't remember existing, and your ass lifted off the bed, hovering right in front of the three of them. You reached out to touch Mattheo's face, leaned in to pretend to start a kiss, and diverted, looking at Malfoy with a mischievous smile. Your hand ran through his blonde hair, causing Malfoy's breath to fail, and then your attention turned to the Italian with big needy eyes for you. You took a step towards him and entwined your hand in Nott's neck, pulling him into a heated, lustful kiss. Nott's hands went to your waist, pulling your body towards his until you detached from him with a funny smile.
— I didn't know you could carry weapons at Hogwarts, Nott.
You said, turning to Mattheo, passing by him, and kissing Draco next, who was more desperate than he seemed. His hands roamed your body, stopping nowhere until you pulled away and looked at Riddle with a provocative smile. He hated being last, and you knew that very well.
— Come here, Riddle.
You whispered, and in less than a second, Mattheo's hands roamed you, stopping under your green plaid skirt. He squeezed your ass hard and lowered your skirt while thrusting his tongue into your throat. With Draco's help, you no longer had your bottom clothes on, except for your red lace panties and the Slytherin Quidditch team sweatshirt.
— Hell yeah, baby.
Mattheo murmured, looking right at you when he ran out of breath. At that point, you started to feel such discomfort between your legs as you had never felt before.
You fell on your back on the bed and propped yourself up on your elbows to watch the three boys taking off their clothes and looking at you from the foot of the bed.
— Can you get on all fours so I can see something, la mia principessa? Theodore asked with a hoarse and lust-filled voice. With a narrowed look, you laughed, shaking your head, and turned around for them to see you on all fours. — She's fucking wearing my name on her back, you assholes.
Theodore laughed, giving your ass a slap before you turned back to face them.
— Points for Theo.
You laughed loudly and saw Malfoy and Riddle roll their eyes while dissipating.
Draco was the first to undress, so when he did, he climbed on the bed and attacked your neck with desire before angrily taking off your sweatshirt.
— Let's get this shit off your beautiful body.
Malfoy murmured, freeing your breasts from a red lace bra that matched your panties.
— That color is Gryffindor's, pff, what nonsense.
Mattheo murmured, climbing on the bed and kissing you before being pulled aside by Theo from the other side of your body.
Mattheo distributed kisses on your shoulder and clavicle while Theodore kissed your lips, and during that, Draco descended his mouth to your panties. He pulled them down your legs and opened them, leaving you exposed to them.
— Shit, she's so beautiful.
Draco moaned, and the other two moaned back when they looked at you better.
— Fuck yeah.
Theodore murmured, imitating Mattheo's previous steps, who was now on your mouth.
A finger from Malfoy ran through your slit and captured your essence on his fingers before falling with his tongue on you and sucking you as you had never been sucked before.
Your hands simultaneously grabbed the boys' hair on you, and your mouth opened against Mattheo's when Malfoy inserted a finger into you and began pumping it in and out at a comfortable pace.
When his tongue found your clit along with your G-spot, you came on Malfoy's face, who continued licking your pussy until he sucked everything he could. When your eyes opened directly to the image of Theodore and Mattheo rubbing against your bed, it made you smile in ecstasy and look at Draco next. You sat up and pulled him into a kiss as he rubbed his cock against you. Pulling away from him, you sat on your heels and saw Theo and Mattheo looking at you with their hands on their cocks, dripping pre-cum from the tip. Crawling to Theo, who was at the edge of the bed, you pushed him to lie down and sat on him, as Theodore slid the head of his cock at your entrance and thrust it inside your pussy, stretching you with his huge cock.
— Fuck, Theo. Ugh, your cock, it's... so... big, fuck.
You moaned loudly and felt Mattheo's hands slap your ass as he positioned himself behind you, quickly kissing your shoulder and neck and thrusting his cock into your other hole, making you moan louder and look at Draco, who was masturbating beside you. With a look, you made him stand up and stop at the edge of the bed, standing, where you opened your mouth and took his big cock while Mattheo and Theodore were deep inside you.
— Look how they let us fill all your holes.
Theodore moaned as he began to move his hips to fuck you deeper than you thought possible.
— Such a good little slut for us, she takes our cocks so well.
Mattheo moaned with harder, not as fast thrusts as he'd like, but he loved seeing how you were writhing on his and Theo's cocks.
— So well, so good for us.
Draco moaned as your tongue ran along his length, and you took him to the back of your throat.
— Holy shit, what a tight pussy, mi amore.
Nott moaned, placing his hands on your waist and increasing the speed on you, the wet sounds echoed through the muffled room, and the fast rhythm of Nott made you choke on Draco's cock, who placed his hands in your hair, forcing you to suck him again when he was about to cum in your mouth.
— She is the hottest thing in this world, fuck, I could warm my cock in her all night long, fuck.
Mattheo said, and that made your pussy tighten around Theodore's cock, who fucked you like his life depended on it. In a smart move, Mattheo pulled his cock out of your ass and began to jerk off on your butt, cumming along with Draco, who came in your mouth when Mattheo came on your butt, which now bounced harder in Theodore's hands.
— Swallow my cum, princess.
Draco moaned, and you swallowed as he asked, showing your tongue to him along with a smile that was quickly replaced by an open 'O' shape when you felt your orgasm approaching on Theodore's cock.
— I can feel you tightening around me, cum on my cock, make a mess on my cock, princess.
Theodore moaned, and you screamed in ecstasy as you came on Nott's cock, who continued thrusting deep inside you.
— Fuck, Theo. Yes. Ugh, please.
— Can I cum inside you?
He asked, and you bounced harder on his lap.
— Cum inside me, Nott. Fuck, cum all your cum inside me.
You moaned loudly, and as soon as Theo came, you were grabbed by Mattheo, who sarcastically laughed and lifted your butt into the air towards him. His cock was inserted into your pussy, wet from Theo's cum dripping from you, and with a high-pitched moan, you rested your forehead on Theodore's abs, who was panting beneath you. Mattheo thrust a few times roughly into your pussy and then pulled his wet cock out, thrusting it into your ass with force and ease before starting to fuck you hard. You knew he wanted this from the beginning, to torture you.
— You're our slut, baby. So wet, so tight, and fuck, your pussy is as good as your ass.
He moaned and thrust his cock to the base into your anus with force. The first time you did anal, you felt nothing but discomfort, but now, you wanted nothing more than for him to keep fucking you hard.
Mattheo's hands fell on your butt, making him push harder inside you, the extremely wet sound echoed through the room, and your moans were the boys' reason for ecstasy.
— Matty, I can't.
You moaned as your orgasm began to approach, and Mattheo fucked your hole with increasing force.
— Oh, you can, pretty girl, take all my cock, cum on it like you did for Theo and Draco. You can handle it.
He moaned, giving long, deep thrusts inside you.
— Fuck. I'm cumming.
You screamed, and he slapped your ass as he rode you.
— That's it, baby. I'm gonna fucking cum inside you. You like that, huh? Mm-hmm, you like it. You're a slut.
Mattheo moaned and laughed as he felt you tightening around him.
— Suck our boy while you cum, pretty girl.
He commanded, and you bent down to take Theo's cock, which was hitting your face. You took Theo's cock into your mouth and sucked hard while hearing Draco moan and jerk off on you.
Theodore's hands fell on your hair, and you moaned against his cock when Mattheo began to moan and give sloppy thrusts inside you, indicating he was cumming in seconds. The vibration of your mouth on Theodore's cock made the boy cum in your throat, face, and breasts while you came on Riddle's cock, who was pouring his orgasm into you deeply with his cock.
— Take all my orgasm, that's right, take it, good girl.
He moaned, finishing inside you, and at that second, Malfoy came once again on you, making you moan and fall against Theodore, exhausted.
— Fuck. I think I've never been fucked as well as you guys did.
— Let's clean you up, pretty girl.
said while quickly kissing you on the lips with the other boys right behind, placing soft kisses and affectionate words on you. And the best of all for you was...you had fucked them three like a slut but nothing would change between you and them.
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Totally ashamed of what I wrote 😭🤣 I tried to tag the majority who asked, if you didn't want to be here I'm sorry 😭
@feistyfox47
@jrinbb
@samgonecrazy
@littlemadamred
@mynerdcloud
@shaquilles-0atmeal
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iveleftitwithyou · 8 months ago
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casual | paul lahote x reader smut
NSFW | 18+ | minors DNI | word count: 2.38k
warnings: smut, dom!paul, slight angst, mention of fighting, i think that's it?
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i asked you guys if i should post this now or incorporate it into ruderal, and the result was overwhelmingly to post it now, so here it is with some plot adjustments! i've been OBSESSED with this song by chappell roan and knew i needed to make it into an imagine, although this song is probably about a woman lol. highly recommend listening to the song as you read this. this is my first time EVER writing smut so i hope its not too bad - as always, let me know what you think :)
ALSO this is in an alternate timeline where the guys are all like 21+ and so is y/n :)
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Paul’s hand lingered on your thigh as he drove the winding road back to Forks, his thumb rubbing small circles on your outer leg. the radio hummed with a song you couldn’t manage to pay attention to, instead focusing your gaze on the motion of his finger on your bare thigh. while you assumed the gesture was meant to comfort you, it did a lot more than that. you hoped that the darkness would obscure Paul’s peripheral vision enough for him to not realize you were ogling his muscular arms and unusually large hands. his veins protruded in a way that drove you crazy for some reason, and as much as you were still upset with him, you couldn’t help the rush of hormones that flooded at the sight.
Embry had made some stupid joke about you at the bonfire at Emily's that night, a common occurrence when you hung out with the pack. he didn’t mean anything by it, you joked around with each other like that all the time, but Paul had been extra sensitive for the last few weeks as he spent more hours on patrol. Victoria’s looming presence and the mystery murders happening around Washington meant the reservation needed increased protection, and the men in the pack had to step up. Embry’s comment led to a fight where the pair both phased, snarling and snapping until they both came to their senses and things went back to normal. you hated when Paul shifted because of you, even if it was just indirectly your fault like it was tonight. 
you two were meant to be casual, despite Paul having imprinted on you, as you had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and weren’t ready to commit to someone again. you’d been seeing each other casually for months, hanging out, and getting to know each other better. as much as you were hesitant to let him into your life completely, you couldn’t deny your attraction to Paul. he’d been nothing but a gentleman thus far, bringing you flowers on dates, opening doors for you, and following your boundaries to a T, terrified to mess anything up with you. of course, his physical form was unlike anything you’d ever seen - you were lucky that he preferred to hang out without a shirt on. things had gotten hot and heavy between you two a few times but hadn’t gone farther than some very intense making out. though, the way Paul’s hand touched you now was enough for you to throw those boundaries out the window; you wanted him - no, needed him.
you focused your eyes back on the road in front of you, only being able to see as far as the truck’s dim headlights illuminated. breathe in, breathe out, you reminded yourself, trying to calm down the butterflies in your stomach. you were unsuccessful, and it didn’t help that Paul’s hand was inching closer and closer to your hips.
suddenly, his hand snaked further inward and his grip tightened, engulfing your inner thigh. your breath hitched, and you unsuccessfully tried to mask it as a cough. you saw Paul smirk out of the corner of your eye, but he didn’t look over at you. 
you once again reminded yourself to breathe as the ache between your legs became more apparent. his hand loosened its grip and continued its journey towards your core. half of you thought about stopping him purely as punishment for fighting with Embry, but the much louder other half wouldn’t dream of it right now.
you couldn’t help but let out a small groan as his hand finally reached your jean shorts, his fingers tracing the seam that ran between your legs. the slight pressure he applied drove you absolutely crazy as you wished for more friction.
the sound that escaped your lips seemed to do something to Paul as he let out a breathy groan of his own. “alright, that’s it,” he mumbled, turning the wheel toward the side of the road. he must have known exactly where you were because he easily pulled the truck behind a set of bushes that obscured most of it from the road. any passerbys, which were few and far between at this time of night anyway, wouldn’t notice the vehicle.
almost as soon as he slammed the gear shift into park, his lips were on yours. he kissed you with a passion you’d never felt before. you melted into his lips, reminding yourself for the third time that night that if you didn’t start breathing, you would pass out. he gripped the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair as you continued to make out. his other hand traveled down your arm, to your hip, and unbuckled the seatbelt you’d been wearing. in one swift, but slightly awkward motion, he disconnected your lips for a brief moment and grabbed each side of your hips, pulling you across the center console onto his lap. you were careful not to lean too far and hit the horn with your back as you settled onto him, silently thanking Paul for owning such a spacious truck. your knees settled on either side of his legs. 
as you sat down on his lap, you brushed his hardening length with the same seam of your shorts his hand was just on, eliciting a quiet moan from both of you. impatient, Paul once again gripped your scalp and slammed your lips together. you allowed your hands to slip underneath the hem of his shirt, feeling the outline of the muscles on his bare abdomen. this feeling, combined with the warmth radiating from his bare skin, drove you insane. 
“take- it- off-” you mumbled in between kisses, tugging the hem upwards. you were unsure of where the forwardness came from, but you didn’t stop long enough to be embarrassed. 
“you don’t get to tell me what to do,” he snarked half-jokingly but obliged.
the moonlight streaming in from the windshield was just enough for you to be able to see the outline of his pecs and abs, and you really couldn’t help but stare.
“like what you see?” he chuckled, noticing your eyes widening at his physique.
you nodded, unable to form words, instead opting to smash your lips back together with all of the strength you could muster. you’d had enough of looking flustered - you wanted to take initiative.
you raised your hips again, pushing your abdomen against Paul's and lowering yourself onto his member. you rocked your hips back and forth as he moved his lips down your cheek, then your jaw, and eventually to your neck. the friction as you continued to grind against him elicited a low growl against your neck as his lips attached to your skin. you moaned embarrassingly loudly as he sucked at the delicate skin, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be sheepish. in fact, the only emotion surging through your body right now was pure desire for the god-like man leaving a series of hickeys on your neck.
“Paul, that’s gonna leave a mark,” you whined. you knew you’d regret letting him do it in the morning but right now you wanted nothing more than for him to mark you as his. you wanted to be his.
“don’t want anyone else getting any ideas. you’re all mine,” he retorted, lifting his head up to look you in the eyes. his were almost completely black with lust. “say it.” he commanded, holding your jaw tightly in his hand. “say you’re mine.”
“i’m all yours, Paul” you panted, your hips continuing to move back and forth on Paul’s lap as you stared into his dark eyes. despite your relationship still being undefined, truer words had never been spoken.
“good girl. now shut the fuck up and get back in the passenger seat.” his harsh words did nothing to discourage you from obeying as you scrambled to sit back where you were a few minutes prior. this was a side of Paul you had only seen when he was angry: dark, commanding, dominating. usually, you would have to try to calm him down when he got like this, but right now, you were very much enjoying him telling you what to do. you already missed the warmth of his body on yours as you climbed back over to the other seat, but you instinctually knew better than to voice your complaints right now.
Paul leaned across the console, reaching his hand between your knees and under the seat to move it back as far as it would go. once he was satisfied with that, he reached across your lap and pulled the reclining handle, his other hand helping to lower the seat back slowly so you weren’t sent flying backward.
“scooch back” he ordered again, and you moved your hips backward on the seat, supporting yourself with your elbows on the very edge of the seat near the headrest.
you were confused as he opened the driver-side door and hopped out of the truck. you watched as he opened the passenger-side door, it becoming clear now what his plan was. you pulled your knees towards your chest as he climbed back in, kneeling on the floor mat in front of you. god damn, this truck was spacious, and you were incredibly grateful for that right now.
his large hands fumbled to unbutton your shorts. he pulled the zipper down and you lifted your hips, followed by your legs, so he could slide them off. not wanting to wait another second, he pulled your underwear to the side and connected his thumb to your clit. you let out a loud gasp at the sensation and he chuckled proudly, knowing how good he was making you feel. Paul rubbed small, tight circles on the sensitive nub for a few seconds before you felt a finger dip into your wet folds. a guttural moan escaped your throat as you finally got the sensation you had been waiting for since his hand had rested on your thigh earlier in the night.
he added a second finger shortly after and continued to pump in and out of your heat, his thumb continuing its circular motions on your clit. you could feel your orgasm building inside of your core, and it was almost euphoric knowing it was Paul making you feel like this.
“Paul, i’m gonna-” you moaned, getting close to the edge. “what the fuck?” he’d removed his fingers altogether upon hearing this and you were not happy about it. 
“patience, princess.” he chuckled, making eye contact with you once again as he raised his fingers to his mouth to taste you on them. you were still pissed at him for teasing you like that, but the sound he made as he licked your wetness off himself almost made it worth it. almost.
“let’s take these off, shall we? or should i rip them off?” his fingers slipped under the waistband of your underwear.
“don’t you dare,” the one rational brain cell you had left replied, lifting your hips for him to slide them off like he did the shorts. you liked this pair. Paul held your hips back down as he spread your legs open, leaning his torso over the seat until you could feel his breath between your legs, amplified by the wetness that had come with the teasing.
“god, you look so fucking good” he took a second to admire the sight before him before he groaned lustfully and connected his tongue to your cunt. he made quick work of finding all the right spots to hit, causing your legs to tremble and your eyes to roll back in your head. at this rate, you wouldn’t last long, but you never wanted this moment to end.
“oh, fuck,” you moaned as he continued to circle the sensitive nub with his tongue. you had never felt this connected to someone before, not any of your exes. no one had ever made you feel as good as Paul was in this moment. as he continued the motions of his tongue, you realized Paul was perfect for you in every way, including this one. it was like pre-nut clarity.
you felt the pressure building up again, somehow even stronger than last time, unable to contain your moans. “fuck, Paul, i’m gonna cum” you groaned, arching your back against the seat as Paul continued to hold your hips down harshly against it. you figured there would be bruises there tomorrow, and the thought of him marking you up even more only exacerbated your growing orgasm.
“cum for me, princess” Paul mumbled against your clit, giving you permission to let go. it only took a couple more swipes for you to come completely unglued against his mouth.
Paul gradually slowed down his motions, guiding you through your orgasm as your hips attempted to buck against his face, craving the stimulation. eventually, your brain started to function again, and the first thing you thought was that that was definitely the best orgasm you’d ever had. you couldn’t tell Paul that, though - it would boost his ego way too much, and he already had a huge one to begin with. the second thought that went through your head was that you were ready for Paul to be your boyfriend. no man could eat you out that good and get away from you.
he admired his work as you panted in front of him, a smirk of pride on his face. he loved knowing he was the one who made you feel so good. he raised himself up on his knees to hover over you, one arm resting on the seat to support himself as the other snaked behind your back to pull you to his chest. you wrapped your arms around his back, settling your face in the crook of his neck. your breaths were soon in time with each other, basking in the body heat radiating from the both of you.
you could have stayed like that forever, but after a few minutes, Paul pulled back slightly to look you in the eyes. he seemed deep in thought before he smiled and opened his mouth to ask you a simple question: “is it casual now?”
------
part 2 here :)
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cherry-leclerc · 3 months ago
Text
don’t lock the door ☆ cs55
genre: fluff, humor, smut, angst, thriller/suspense, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, mentions of homicide, erotic literature, tragedy
word count: 9k
An oleander is beautiful—yet deadly. You’re beautiful—yet deadly. But Carlos has always been gentle, and has always known how to take care of things he loves. And even if he doesn’t, he’s willing to learn, just for you. But you can’t outrun secrets. Not when they have everything to do with the only thing he adores—you.
nsfw warning under the cut!
18+... fingering, riding, car sex
STOP AND READ:
The story you are about to read is not meant to be admired or looked up to. Regularly, the types of fics that I like to present to all of you are light, humorous, and sweet. While I feel that this story does have occasional glimpses of that, it also deals with heavy topics such as; suicide, depression, and homicide. At the end of the day, I care about all my readers, so if any of you feel like this is not something for you then you are always welcomed to head over to my masterlist for much lighter reads. You all know me by now, so you must know that sometimes I like to mix a story of traditional love with a dash of real life struggles, such as trauma and guilt, in this case. With that, I hope you enjoy word for word.
cherry here!...did you miss me????
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Tension is normally one’s enemy. It’s fairly simple, you try your best to avoid what makes your skin crawl. Isn’t that how the story goes?
Not quite. 
There’s tension, yes, but it's only because you’re the opposite sex. Nothing beyond that. It could also be because you’re both introduced to each other as a pair of miserable singles. Lewis is the person you share in common.
She’s a close friend, he proclaims as you two shake hands. The touch is sticky, just like hot glue— and for a minute—it feels like a knife cuts this invisible strain in half. He lets himself salivate over your lioness stare; dark, sharp, amorous. You lean towards him just the same; dominant, mature, suggestive.
I’ve seen you race.
He hums, still attached to your desirable touch. Yeah? Why haven’t I seen you then?
Fingers press sternly against his warm skin, as if to provoke him more than he already feels himself falling into. It should be alarming the way his mind slips into a frenzy because of it, but likes it. The rush. 
Maybe because I wasn’t rooting for you.
There. Right then, he disconnects. I was hoping that wouldn’t be the case.
You grin. Well, now you know. 
“You know what? Mingle—”
“Who says mingle?” you and Carlos question at the same time, judgemental eyes staring coldly. 
Lewis blushes. “I-I-Is that not a thing anymore?” Silence. “Fuck, I really am getting old...”
The night consists of mimosas, because according to you, it reminds you of your late-mother. “She liked something fruity, but also fun enough to make her head spin. It was entertaining to watch.”
“How so?”
“She’d ramble on and on. Slurred about her dreams.” A sad smile. “That’s the only reason why I ever found out she wanted to become an author. She was fifty—five decades too old—but she said she wanted one last adventure before retiring. It didn’t even matter if she made it onto the New York Times Best Seller list.”
The way your eyes even out, round and almost doughy, makes him trip for a second because this is not the same girl he shook hands with nearly three hours ago. No, this version of you was almost childlike, but he supposes that's how everyone who loses a parent becomes. 
It comes out shy—closed off—your laugh. As if you just caught yourself being too vulnerable. That was always the worst. “Look at me making you my therapist. I have got to stop doing that.” 
His mouth opens lamely, ghostly scoff sitting upon his lips. And if it were to be released, it wouldn’t hurt your feelings. It was a weird thing to note. “I like hearing you talk.”
A beat. “We’ve only just met.”
Carlos grins, crinkles tracing the corner of his eyes like some beauty. “Then let's meet some more.”
The opportunity is there, the kind you’ve been looking for. With a sheepish smile, you nod. “I should warn you though, I’m a bit of a mess.”
Finally, the scoff escapes. And like envisioned, you laugh at the sound.
“Consider me warned.”
-
He fucked you that same night in the back of his car. It was late, so dark that you barely even had the chance to register the fact that you squirted all over his vintage Ferrari. 
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he pants as he snaps his hips up again, fast motion making you head loll bad. You wonder what he means, but as soon as his long fingers circle your swollen bud, you’re just as good as gone.
He asked you out an hour later, when he dropped you off right in front of your apartment. You happily accepted, unable to hide your excitement. 
Your smile falters. “Give me a reason as to why I should say yes.”
“Um, well, you sort of already said…yes?”
The confusion that settles onto his handsome features makes you glow with satisfaction. “I could always change my mind. Pretend this night never even happened.”
Panic rushes harshly against his shoulders. He doesn’t even know why he cares so much, but he does. 
Vulnerability is a bitch. 
“Huh,” he hums, relaxing against his seat, head hitting the expensive cushion. And you can see it. The challenge. He clicks his tongue, bored all of a sudden. “Listen, I want you, but I certainly don’t need you.”
You realize right there and then—you met your match. 
You realize right there and then—you two share the same green pride. 
You realize right there and then—
“It was nice getting to know you.” 
-
The only reason you’re even friends with someone like Lewis is because your mother married rich.
Filthy fucking rich. 
Then, somehow, married richer by her third and last marriage. The man was twisted, but you never knew just how much. Not for a very long time. 
He dabbled in stocks, or some boring shit like that, and later invested in some other crap. Somewhere along the line, you met the Brit. 
The same Brit who now hisses at you through the phone. 
“God damn it, what happened? Weren’t you two getting along?”
You sigh, rubbing your feet together as you admire the way the navy blue paint covers your pedicured nails. Stormy clouds match your mood as you shake the bottle of pills that lay on top of your desk. 
“He’s too vain.”
He groans. “You my dear, dear friend, are looking into a mirror then, I suppose.”
A sharp gasp. “Are you insinuating I’m the same?”
“If the shoe fits…”
“May I remind you that you sit and stare at yourself for God knows how long before any race? Newflash, dickhead, you’re going to sweat, look like shit, and one out of ten times, you’re going to win.”
“I see I triggered something.” He sighs heavily. The sound tells you he’s not really upset or anything, but more so worried. Ever since she died, you’ve been that way. 
Snappy. Defensive. 
“Hey, I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be. I know you.” 
And although he can’t see, you still smile fondly. Rattling the bottle of antidepressants, you inch up higher and higher onto your chair until you face your own reflection. Shattered glass stares back at you as you feverishly look down. 
“Do you still have an extra pass to this weekend's race?”
-
There had to be something wrong with you. Everyone could tell, and quite frankly, you could agree. Would you admit to it out loud? No, now that’s something different. Or maybe you’re just odd. That would also make sense. Whatever it was, it would explain as to why everyone around you screams with excitement as the fast cars fly by. You, on the other hand, simply stare with straight lips and empty eyes.
While all clap cheerfully when Lewis finishes on the third step, you cross your arms. While everyone runs out of the Mercedes garage to declare front row, you drag your feet slowly to the last. 
While Carlos makes eye contact as he lifts his trophy—notably bigger than the Brits—you yawn.
You’re not impressed.
She’s not impressed, the Spaniard remembers thinking to himself as he smiles wider towards the stacks of cameras that turn him temporarily blind. He selfishly thinks you’re here for him, but he knows that's straight bullshit. Truth be told, it didn’t seem like you were here to support your friend either.
“It’s been so long,” Lewis huffs in disbelief as you stare across with vacant eyes. To him, you’re simply jetlagged. “Can you believe it?”
An exhale. “You did good.” Extending your legs outward, you admire the black tiles that shine back brighter than if it were to be white. “Drinks. On me.”
The Brit laughs. “Deal.”
-
Somewhere close by, they play jazz. 
“Pretty,” you softly speak as you connect your lips to the glass. The live band sways back and forth, only adding to the charm you seem to like. And you like it a lot. “Dance with me.”
Lewis snickers. “I love you to death, but I’m gonna have to go with no.”
You frown. “Come on. I never ask you for anything.”
“You were born with a golden spoon and have used retinol since you were ten, you’re not allowed to ask for anything when you’ve already had everything.”
“Yeah…well not this.” You’re secretly envious of every lady in the room. The way they beam with sincere smiles at their husbands. Boyfriends? Flings? Affairs? Who cares honestly, you were jealous nonetheless. 
The Mercedes driver watches as your fingers lazily tap against your lap, as if signaling you’re free. Guilt slithers down his neck as he sighs in defeat. “Fi–”
“Nice seeing you two here.”
Lewis wants to cry with utter thankfulness as Carlos inches closer with a lousy grin. “Hey! Oh God—hey.” You blink. “Wh-what are you doing here? Not that I’m complaining, of course, because I’m not.”
The Spanirad shrugs. “I won. Wanted to celebrate, I suppose.” Brown eyes flicker towards you like thunder and suddenly you feel naked under his gaze. You swallow. “You look nice.”
And there it is again—tension.
He cocks his head to the side, almost as if waiting for a compliment of your own. Instead, he finds himself being ignored. Crossing your legs, you lift the empty glass up as the bartender hurries for a refill. 
Finally, Lewis speaks up. “I think I’m gonna hit the hay—”
“Who says hay?” you and the brunette spit out with snarkiness. You bite back a smile while he releases a chuckle. 
The Brit stands up, chugging the rest of his drink as he waves you two off. “I’m not that old,” he shouts as he turns the corner and disappears. 
Carlos takes the time to catch up on your appearance. Last time he saw you, you had longer hair, now it appears you’ve had a trim. He likes it. You were slightly tanner, but now appear a shade lighter. It could just be because it’s winter. It's nice seeing other versions of you. 
“So, how have you be—”
“Why are you still here?”
He freezes. It takes him a while to find the strength to open his mouth. 
“We never finished our conversation.”
-
He didn’t fuck you that night, no, he took you dancing. And maybe that’s why it worked this time around. Instead of taking the time to learn all the different types of moans you have, he took the time to learn all about your upbringing. 
I learned how to bike when I turned six. Had severe trust issues for a year, so I tried again when I was seven.
That must be where your scars are from, he thinks to himself, but he finds them endearing.
I like long hair, I find it beautiful, but as soon as it’s starting to grow out I think it looks too weird on me. 
That must be why your hair is shorter than he remembers, but he loves it. Has the urge to run his fingers through.
My favorite movie is How Harry Met Sally, but quite frankly, I don't find Harry attractive at all, so I never really understood why Sally settled down with him after so long.
And you’re honest. Brutally honest. And he finds that attractive.
“How about you, Mr. Singapore?”
I learned how to kart before I learned how to bike, actually. I, too, have scars on my hands from small crashes. 
You blush as you hide yours beneath your coat. 
I have two sisters, so I mainly learned how to dance because of them. I hated it at the time, but now I’m quite grateful.
Is it possible to swoon harder?
And I don’t have a favorite film, necessarily, but I’ve watched How Harry Met Sally, and I would agree. Sally was too good looking for him. 
You have to laugh. “Is that so?”
He smiles. “The name Harry sounds so…” He winks cooly before running a hand through his locks. You giggle. “He looks more like a Bob.”
“Oh my God! Could you imagine? How Bob Met Sally?” You pause. “Wait, that actually doesn’t sound half bad…”
He chews on his bottom lip slowly, nodding in agreement. Silence engulfs you two as you stare at each other with round eyes. He’s the first to crack a loopy grin and you quickly follow with a sheepish one. Then, it vanishes and he’s left looking like he swallowed a frog.
“Listen, about last time…”
“Long forgotten.”
He halts, almost surprised by your response. “No, no, there’s no need to pretend, I was a—”
“Jerk?”
The Spaniard rolls his eyes. “Great, so you haven’t forgotten.”
You shrug. “I’m a girl. We remember everything.”
“Got it,” he declares. “Ask me again.”
Now it’s your turn to freeze. “What?”
“Ask me why you should say yes to a date with me.”
“You don’t have to do this, we’re good—”
“I know we are, but I still want you to ask.”
You lick your lip anxiously before relaxing your stiff shoulders. He tilts his head as if urging you and you nod. “Why should I say yes to you?”
Satisfaction settles. “Because you like a good challenge.” He leans closer. “And isn't that what this is?”
-
Carlos Sainz Jr. was made for you.
“Leave me alone,” you scream, veins throbbing, as you rush past him, heading towards the guest room. You’re glad his parents aren’t home at the moment because Lord knows the embarrassment you would feel.
“No. Not until you talk to me.” As simple as that. Your eyes twitch as you turn back, then bring your hands up to your hips. He adores it when you do that, though he probably shouldn’t right now.
“You want to talk?” You let out an unhinged scoff. “Oh, would you look at that, he wants to talk! Now he wants to talk. Well guess what, fuckhead—I don’t.” 
With that, you march out into the balcony. His eyes follow the way you light up a cigarette. The way you drink the last drops of champagne that linger in the bottle gifted to you by his mother. 
She was kind. She was beautiful. She didn’t deserve someone being this mean to her son.
You barely recognize him because of how blurry your vision is, but his scent does it. Musky. Woody. Calm. 
He hands you the familiar pill, then a glass of water. He rushes the champagne away, then takes the cigarette and squashes it against the cold floor. He doesn’t so much call you out for being a lunatic, for upsetting his dogs with all your yelling, or for pushing him. No, he doesn’t do any of that. And you have never been more in love with him than now.
“I know I can be a bit much sometimes…” A sniffle. “I swear I try to catch onto it so you don’t have to deal with any of this, but—”
“You don’t mean it.” He tangles his fingers through your hair as you sob. And it’s soft despite spending the entire day near the ocean. It feels silky. He’s obsessed. “I know you.”
-
You were made for Carlos Sainz Jr.
“How do I look?” 
“Like an angel.” He swears he turns bright red when you blow him a kiss. “Your name must’ve been Bonita in another life because look at you…” A hand flies up to clutch onto his heart as he makes a face. “Though, I must say, you do know how to make me look bad.”
You giggle. “Oh? This old thing? I thrifted it. Nice, eh?”
He groans. “Very, but you’re supposed to be rooting for Spain.” A gag. “Not Italy.”
You frown. “That's all I had. Plus, you’re basically Italian given your working status.”
“No, amor, they pay me to like Italy. It’s a cover up, think about it.”
You huff, popping your hip outward. “Still. I like it, so I’m wearing it while cheering for the opposite team.”
“Always over complicating things.” He laughs. “Can’t say I’m surprised, you’re a complicated person.”
A deadpan expression. “Suck your own dick.”
“Oi, relax.”
Spinning to face the mirror, you fix your jersey one last time before skipping out the door, tube socks sliding as you go. The Spaniard lets out a dreamy sigh. 
Were you flawless? Not at all.
Were you put together? Not without a prescription.
But he loved figuring it all out with you. And that’s called love.
-
You’re in the middle of a rampage, during dinner. While everyone stares at you puzzled, he simply laughs at your cartoon expressions. 
“I mean, I offered!” A pout. “I clearly stated I could get the cap signed for her and she gave me the nastiest, ugliest, dirty-looking glare! I for sure thought her face was permanently damaged.” You relax against the chair, your shaky hand finding its way to your water bottle. “Like sorry for riding your favorite driver…”
Charles laughs nervously. “I don’t think that was a necessary thing to include…” 
You shrug, raising your brows over to your boyfriend who struggles to breathe. 
The conversation flows easily, like most nights you're all together, but this time there’s a minor bump. You’ve been good about it; avoiding the question for so long. Over the course of time, you’ve managed to be so mendacious, that truly no one knew the truth. Not even Carlos.
“I hope it’s not overstepping, but how did your mum pass?”
He means no harm, Lando, but you just wish so badly that you could believe that. While Carlos and Lewis were the closest thing you have to a family nowadays, even they knew not to ask. You never laid the rules out loud, but they could tell it was an unwanted topic to have on your behalf, no matter how curious they got. 
All of a sudden, your mood deteriorates. The look in Lando’s eyes makes sure to strike off as an apology, but you’re so busy looking down onto your lap that you don’t even pinpoint the meaning. The table grows awkward as time ticks by. 
No one has the power to change the subject, save you the same way doctors tried to save your mother—because they, too—wonder. 
You gulp, feeling small, but far too seen at the same time. It was confusing. “She, um…her last husband…” Everyone feels bad, like you’re some limping puppy, zigzagging down an empty highway, but remain quiet. Then, you look up, stone cold but the tip of your rosy nose and blotchy face is enough reassurance that you still have a beating heart.
“Husband number three strangled her to death.”
You say it like you don’t care. Like it hasn’t affected you at all, and that makes Carlos blink twice as fast as everyone else in the table. A droplet makes its way down your cheek as you let out a light laugh. 
“I guess he thought he was some Superior God who had a say in cutting her time short.”
They all freeze. 
“I am so sorry for asking—” 
“I didn’t need to respond.” You smile lamely. “It’s fine, Lando.”
But it’s not, not even close. They ripped the confession out of your throat, at least that’s what it felt like. No one stepped up, no one said anything. 
Your eyes flicker to the only man who makes your heart speed. 
He reaches for your hand and you grip it hard.
No one said anything.
Not. Even. Carlos.
-
You’ve always excelled at holding a grudge. It came fairly simple. 
But as you stare at him through the screen, for the first time—and only the first time—you struggle. Maybe it’s his puppy eyes that betray you, or his gentleness anytime he steps near you, you don’t really know. 
And you don’t want to.
“I was thinking mariscos.”
Hair flies past your eyes as you squint. He looks particularly handsome today, wearing a linen shirt that drapes over him like some silver armor. Long waves brush against his temples as he returns the squint, slightly smiling at your lips. 
“Sounds good to me.”
Soft music roams the isolated restaurant that almost seemed to belong to just you two, and that helps you relax. You could tell it helps him too. 
“The car felt good today.”
“Yeah?”
He nods, biting onto a piece of shrimp. “Felt like I was flying.”
You let out a whistle. There’s a comfortable silence that lingers for a while before you raise a brow up to the open sky. “Hey,” you start as his orbs flicker up with all the attention in the world. “Do you believe in angels?”
A moment. “I’d say so, yes. Yes, I do.”
Hum. “You sound freakishly sure.” You inch forward with teasing eyes. “Why?”
“Easy.” Chocolate orbs swirl with adoration. “There’s you.”
“I don’t count.”
He frowns. “And why not?”
“Because you love me, of course you’d say that only to be nice.”
“I say so because I know so.”
“Love is blind, love is blind,” you chant, sipping on his open can.
A second ticks by. “Why do you ask?”
And like the first night he met you, your eyes merge into doe eyes. “Because I do.” A sheepish grin. “And sorry to disappoint, but it’s not you.” 
“What’s his name?” he jokes.
But you’re not even listening. “My mom was pure. She was a good person, Carlos.” A beat. “She’s my forever angel.”
His heart physically hurts at your glossy eyes, immediately reaching for your hands. “You must really miss her…”
A wet laugh. “Is there a word stronger than ‘really’? If there is, then that would be one way to say it.”
And he has to apologize, even if it’s seven days too late. 
“I’m sorry for not stepping in that night. I-I-I should have said something and you should have said nothing.” Thick brows knit in together. “You don’t know how shitty I felt, but—”
“You wanted to know as well.”
The way his features freeze is enough confirmation. And you can't be mad. Not even a little. Not even a lot. 
“That doesn’t make you a bad person, Carlos. I should have been more open and honest with you first.” A gust of hot air slaps you across the face. “I tend to shut out people like you because…I don’t know.”
“Vulnerability is a bitch?”
You laugh. “That’s one way to say it.” Orbs scan his beauty with no shame before falling back. “You still have plenty of questions, don’t you?”
“O-of course not.”
Another laugh. “It’s okay. You caught me in a good mood. Go on.”
He’s awkward at first, but slowly eases with the sound of your breathing. “Why hasn’t he been arrested?”
“Because he’s a multi-billionaire.”
He gulps and you blink. “Why haven’t you sued?”
“Because I’m not a multi-billionaire.”
“So…he did a cover up with a wad of cash?”
“Mhm. No one dared ask whose hand shaped bruise was imprinted in her neck.”
He’s caught off guard by your bluntness, but he knows he needs this because he knows it will keep him up the same ways it’s kept him up since that god forbidden dinner. 
“This was the cause of your…” He doesn’t even want to finish his sentence.
“Depression…yeah. Losing someone you love will do that to ya.”
But he wants to ask—he wants to ask more because he knows there has to be more. He’s lost people he loves too—and he loved them very much—and he never got this way. In a flash, he feels guilty for comparing his healing process to yours but quickly looks down onto his lap. 
And the hot summer rain is enough warning for him not to question you any further. 
The Spaniard shares a grateful smile. “Thank you for trusting me. To take care of you, and all t-that,” he stutters, blushing.
“I love you, Carlos.” A beat. “I’ve always trusted you. The only person I don’t trust is myself.”
-
“Be quiet,” she hisses, urgently signaling you closer. “And make sure to shut the door.”
Confused, you hesitantly push until you hear a click. Inching closer to your mom, you slowly become more and more lost as you eye the scattered papers all over your step-dads office table. “What is all this?”
Color drains from her normally youthful face. Even the brightest shade of red can’t help add life. “Proof of embezzlement.”
“What?”
She slides stacks of black folders towards you and you quickly flip through, to which you don’t understand a single thing. “He’s stealing money, that’s what. We’re not talking thousands, we’re talking millions,” she whispers frantically before growing green. “Oh God, I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Okay, okay, hold on, you’re okay.” Rushing to be next to her, you clumsily tie her hair up into a messy ponytail before fanning her with the white sheets. You wince, quickly placing them back down. “How did you even come across this?”
Just as fast as a lighting bolt, she spins the chair. “I’m starting my book—” She gags, “I was supposed to start today, but I came in here looking for his typewriter. You know, the one with the tiny cherubs?” Across the office, you spot it, the tiny angels delicately painted onto the infamous typewriter. You nod. “Well, I started to search for some paper and instead found all of this…”
Even you grow dizzy as you eye the infinite zero’s that jump out against all types of sums. That’s not even enough to spend in ten lifetimes. It was no wonder he just recently made it onto The Forbes list. Her eyes—honest as ever—make you panic as you twirl your thumbs. “Wait…you’re not thinking of confronting him about it, are you?”
“I have to.” Pause. “Right?”
No. You don’t want her to. Not in any scenario. It’s taken you both so long to reach the life you deserve, and now that you were finally here it’s about to be ripped away from you? Your lack of words makes her glare. 
“I don’t know why I’m asking you, I have to! It’s the right thing to do.”
Adrenaline. “Mom, just think about it—”
“I did not raise you to be avaricious,” she spits out, fire practically fuming out of her.  You flinch. “I’m going to talk to him.”
“Y-you’re right.” There goes all your money down the drain. “I’m with you no matter what.” 
Knock knock.
Like mother-daughter, you both freeze as your eyes flicker to the sound. 
“Angelica, are you in there?”
You never liked the name Angelica. Not on anyone else that wasn’t your Angelica. 
Running over to open, she finds herself face-to-face to Lucifer himself as he cocks his head in humor. “Locking me out of my own office now?” He enters. “Fun.” Dark eyes roam the messy area. “Fun.”
Her eyes plead with you in a language only you both knew, but never did you mean to obey. You wanted to stay with her—something told you to stay with her. 
“Honey, give us some privacy, yeah?”
“U-uh…” He winks like that was the go-ahead. Like that was the last permission you needed to agree. And maybe it was. 
Deep down it’s almost like you knew he had sinister intentions. Deep down it’s almost like you knew he was capable of committing those sinister intentions. 
Deep down. 
It’s like you don’t even care.
You smile, tight lipped. “Whatever you need.”
You heard the argument that night, you heard the threats. You heard her pleads, you heard her chokes. You could only imagine what was going on inside, but you were your mothers daughter. You could imagine quite a lot. 
She could’ve been an author—with his resources she might just have hit the New York Times Best Seller list. She could have been a grandmother one day—surely your kids would have lived a luxurious life. 
She could have been obedient. Why wasn’t she obedient? Was it so hard to brush it all under the rug?
He was sweating, just as much as a pig. Or maybe he’s glowing, he is smiling after all. Here and there he apologizes in a lousy manner, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was—
“How much money am I gonna get to keep?”
He’s intrigued. “How much do you want?”
“Enough to not have to worry.” You can still see it; cramped rooms, tin canned meals on paper plates. You could never go back.
An eye roll. “You’re just like her…” A beat. “Fucking greedy.” You can feel the blood rush to your cheeks. You’re embarrassed—-of course you were—who is he to judge? He sighs. “No.”
“What do you mean no?”
“It means I’m not transferring you anything. I want you out of this house no later than Sunday.”
Plump lips open, then snap shut, teeth gritting. “I’ll tell everyone that you’re a murderer. You’ll lose it all, w-watch.”
He’s not phased. Not even in the slightest. “And who’s going to believe you? Tell me, really, because I’d like to know.”
Fuck him for having everything. Fuck him for having everything. Fuck him for having everything.
And fuck yourself for having nothing at all—again.
Months swept by, the death was ruled a suicide, and antidepressant became your loyal friend. There was no one else, and sometimes you feared there would always be no one else. 
Then—by some miracle—there was Carlos.
He was handsome. He was shy. He was sweet. He was kind.
He was rich.
You played hard to get, but so did he. You played the long haul, but so did he. You were a fantastic liar, but he was an ever better believer.
And it all clicked.
Just the way it was supposed to.
-
You’ve been accustomed to a certain lifestyle for years now, but somehow you’re always surprised about the sudden boost you’ve switched to ever since you’ve met him.
Chanel heels turned into red bottoms. Last season dresses turned into those that were not yet  released. You loved everything about it.
“You look so beautiful, cariño,” he groans against your lips, desperate for more. His large hands play with the silky fabric, fighting to slide it up against your hips. You shudder. “I mean…come on.”
“Hey, hey—that’s sweet and all—” You push yourself closer to his toned body, immediately feeling his erection. You nearly whimper.  “But why don’t you fuck me instead?” A kiss. “You missed me, no?”
And instead—he whimpers. “How dare you even ask?” 
With that, he picks you up with ease, pinning you against the wall. You’re dizzy, because unbeknownst to him, he’s casted a spell on you. Never did you think you could fall in love, much less, have someone reciprocate. 
Tender fingers make their way to your clit as you lunge forward, biting down onto his shoulder. It should amaze you how he holds you up with one arm, but you’re not. If anything, you leak more and more by every passing second. 
His dirty pants make you fold as you clench around him. The way they curl, the way they pulse, all of it was your kryptonite. 
“Shit, shit, shit,” you squeal, keeping your eyes trapped shut, feeling the familiar knot forming. He grins, pecking your sweaty forehead, digits speeding up. Berry lips form an O as you moan louder with every push.”I-I’m c-c-close—oh God.”
“Shh. It’s okay, let go for me, yeah? I’m right here with you.” 
Gritting your teeth harder, you moan like some pornstar as you finish all around him. Almost like some rule, he desperately sucks his fingers clean. The Spaniard hums like he’s living his biggest dream of all before opening his round eyes. 
“So sweet.”
You blush. “Yours tastes like shit.”
He laughs. “And yet you beg for me to finish all over your face, isn’t that so?”
Nearly choking at his bluntness, you fight back a smile as you play with his floppy locks. They’ve grown so much from the last time you saw him, so this was certainly eye candy to you. He sighs, relaxing as you continue to twirl thick strands around your fingers.
Soft legs still drape over his waist, hands still lay around your waist, and even breathing connects you both. Carlos feels like he’s nearly dozing off, but his hand remains firm, preferring to take a bullet than to let you fall. 
You like to think that you like his lashes the best. But then there’s his eyes. And his nose. And his heart. And his lips. And his hands. And his sculpture body. And his jokes. And his laugh. And his freckles. So you never could choose, not truly.
Inching closer to his ear, you smirk slowly. “Wanna fuck my mouth?”
His eyes snap open, jaw clenching. “You’re such a tease.”
A shrug. “Want to or not?” You bite your lip, legs letting go of his hips as you slide down. “Because this offer ends in five…” He raises a skeptical brow. “Four…” You motion him closer to which he steadily follows. “Three…” He laughs. “Two, one!”
Sprinting up the stairs in a flash, you giggle as he chases after you. The sound of his steps make your heart beat faster as you jump onto your shared bed. Rushing past the corner, he cocks his head to the side as he clicks his tongue. Stepping into the room carefully, he swung the door closed before locking it. You frown.
“Reassures me that no one will walk in.”
“No one will walk in,” you whisper as your stomach drops. “There’s no need t-to—”
“No, yeah, you’re right,” he agrees, taking in your breathless state. “But I prefer it this way. Just you.” A closer stride. “And me.”
Palms are sweaty. Blood slithers down your throat and thighs. And yet your freeze. You feel hot and cold, all at once. You don’t like the feeling, any of it, but you try to ignore the inner monologue. 
“You look stunning,” he states, finally reaching you. “You always do.”
Your speeding heart lessens. “T-thank you.” 
A beat. “You’re not nervous—are you?”
Hastily, you shake your head. “N-no! Of course not!”
Thick brows knit together. “Because you normally aren’t.” His smile fades. “W-we don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to, you know that right?”
Physically, you’re cringing. Mentally, you’re spiraling. The act itself makes the Spaniard withdraw, taking a steady step back and shaking his head. Panic rises fast as you crawl closer to him, reaching the end of the bed. 
“I just have a lot on my mind, but I want this.” A beat. “I want you.”
It’s as if you’re a blank sheet of paper, blinking up at Carlos with such innocence. So much so, it makes his heart stop. He looks for reassurance, which you give him, and he looks for it again, which you give again without hesitance. 
“Come on, Carlitos…” you slowly whisper, batting your eyes. “I know you’ve missed my mouth.”
If you weren’t so breathtaking, if you weren’t so seductive, if you weren’t so goddamn tempting then surely turning you down wouldn’t be an issue. By alas, you’re here—and even better—you’re all his. 
“Eres un sueño.” It seems like an eternity passes by before he finally steps close to you once again, getting rid of whatever distance you ever had. Like it was never meant to be there to begin with. “Can I kiss you first?”
It’s sweet that he feels the need to build up to fucking you sore, but sweet nonetheless. That’s one thing you love about him—and there’s a lot to choose from—his respect towards you. Smiling warmly, you extend your arm, inviting him like an angel before he smashes his lips against you like the devil.
The contrast. It’s just what you needed.
“God, I fucking love you.” 
“I—” His lips press harsher as he continues marking his territory. All of it was making your head spin like a rollercoaster. “I love you too,” you manage to spit out as he makes his way down. You blush. “I-I-I sort of wanted to…”
He blinks. “Sort of what?”
“Well, you know…” You point towards his hardened cock. 
And he actually snickers. “Cat got your tongue today or what, bella?”
A groan. “You’re so fucking annoying—”
“No, no, no,” he cuts in with a whistle. “By all means, go ahead.”
Desperate hands crazily reach out towards his belt in a nanosecond. You should be ashamed how hopeless you are, but you don’t find enough strength to care. Not when he was looking down at you with hungry eyes. 
“Tan linda,” he whispered underneath his breath. As if you weren’t meant to hear him. As if he can’t quite believe it’s you he gets to keep. This must all be a dream to him, he thinks. 
Just as you’re about to pull his jeans down, large hands get ahold of your wrists. Confused, you look up at him, head tilted and messy hair falling over your shoulder. He grins wickedly. 
“Just one more kiss.”
You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Are you kidding me—”
But his soft lips move with such urgency that you don’t even have time to bitch and moan. Not that you’re trying. You can feel it; the hunger, the lust. The way you run your fingers through his hair, or how he squeezes your ass. In a matter of seconds, the room grows steamy, hot breaths expanding with every peck. It’s as if Carlos was too afraid of being ripped away from you even for a second, scared your lips might change and he wouldn’t know a thing about it.
Not knowing you might be his biggest fear.
It happens without a warning, his grip. You feel it slide slowly up your ribs—you remember thinking how much you like it, how much it tickles. Then it reaches your chest, to which his eager hands squeeze your tits, pathetically moaning into your mouth. You can’t help but giggle, but still not separating. And then…
It reaches your neck.
As soon as he squeezes, your eyesight begins to blur, but he doesn’t notice. Your chest begins to rise and fall at an alarming rate, but he doesn’t notice. And you’re terrified.
But he doesn’t notice.
“Carlos,” you whimper, but he takes it as a good sign, mouth moving with ease. “Carlos, honey…”
“Yeah, baby?” His voice is deep. “You like that?” Large palm squeezes harder. “Bet you do.”
“Okay, stop!” you scream, arms flying like some madman. “Let go of me!”
Panicked, he releases you in a hurry, jumping off of your trembling body. Color drains his face as realization hits him, but it's too late. You’re sobbing hard, shoulders bouncing up and down. The way you crawl back with fear makes his heart break as he shakes his head, running a hand against his jaw.
“Fuck.” More cries. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—I am so sorry, baby…” Desperate eyes stare back at you as you hide your face against your shaky hands. “I’m so fucking stupid. I should have known, I should have known.” Inching closer proves to be a mistake when you leap off the bed, throwing a mountain of pillows like daggers. 
“Stop it,” you demand. “Stay. Right. There.”
He flinches. “Are you afraid of me?”
The laugh that erupts from your throat is unlike the others he’s heard. It’s almost maniacal. It makes his skin grow with goosebumps. “Is that even a question?” Dark mascara runs down your cheeks as you breathe heavily. “You just tried to kill me.”
“No,” he pronounces. “No, you know that that’s not true. I-I-I thought you’d like it!” The glare you flicker is enough for him to wince, pinching the tip of his nose. “I should have known better, okay? Please, just…calm down.”
All your sniffles come to an end as you freeze. “Are you calling me crazy?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Oh my God.” Pushing your hair back, you release a chuckle. “You actually think I’m crazy.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy, stop putting words into my mouth.”
A scoff. “Okay, wow.” 
He doesn’t have a clue as to how he continues to dig himself into a hole—and yet—here he is. Digging his own grave. Exhaling hard, he licks his lips before looking straight into your glossy eyes. “I love you,” he starts, but you remain as still as a statue. “And I want us to work through this. I want to be able to talk to you, yeah?” A beat. “I’m sorry about…what I did, I should have never done it knowing you’re…traumatized.” 
He’s almost scared to see your reaction, but it never comes. Instead, you blink hastily, as if you’re mortified. 
You should’ve known. You should have figured that karma would catch up to you sooner or later.
I mean, all sins must be paid for, right?
As soon as he starts closing the gap, you’re thumping heart picks right back up. “I just want to talk—”
“No.”
Despite his hurt, he continues his march towards you. “I just want to be near you, please—”
“I said no!” 
It happens almost in the blink of an eye, the sound of glass shattering. He sort of thinks he must’ve imagined it, your hand flying to punch the mirror right besides you, but the gentle blood that oozes out of your hand makes his heart stop. Suddenly, all the scars you have make sense. So much makes sense. 
“Just…stay there, Carlos,” you say, voice trembling, small hand holding out a piece of sharp glass towards him like some wannabe knife. You bite your bottom lip. “Just—there.”
“Cariño…”
“Stop it with that,” you plead, teardrops slipping. “Stop calling me that.”
Somewhere in the shard, he catches his reflection. Half-scared, half-brokenhearted. He doesn’t even know how you two got to this point. 
He gulps. “Okay. I’ll stop, I’ll stop, but please put that down.” You shake your head fast, splotchy cheeks flushing furthermore. Carlos sighs desperately. “Come on—you’re bleeding.”
“I’m used to it by now.”
Tension resurfaces once again between you both as you stare at each other, awaiting for the next challenge. Playing the silent game for a second, curious to see who breaks next. 
“Why did you lock the door?”
He almost laughs. “We always shut the door—”
You raise the blade up higher as you begin to lose patience. Deep down, you know you’re not capable of harming him, but how could you ever let your guard down once again when he tried to strangle you to death?
History almost repeats itself, and you’ll be damned if you ever let it happen.
“You said it, we shut it but we never lock it.” A soft cry. “What were you planning on doing to me, Carlos?”
It’s like a knife to the heart, you’re sudden distrust. The brunette finds himself struggling to breath as he blinks like a lost deer. 
“You know that I would never hurt you. Not on purpose, at least…”
You let out a wet snarl, shaking your head. “I don’t believe you.”
A flinch. “All of this was a mistake and I adore you.”
“You don’t, though,” you protest, the shaky vision intensifying. “If not you wouldn’t have tried to mur—”
“For the last time, I’m not your step-father!” It’s as if he’s finally reached his breaking point, just now. His body is tired. His mind is tired. Everything is just tired of trying. Carlos shrugs lamely. “If you don’t want to believe me…so be it.”
The pain that rains out of him should be enough for you to know that he’s telling the complete truth. He’s a good guy, with pure intentions. He’s not here to get even with you on your mothers behalf. None of what you’re imagining is true.
But you just can’t seem to understand. 
“I don’t believe your lies, alright?” you spit out with deep breaths. You drop the blade, finally. “Open the door.”
With his head hung low, he complies, feet dragging with every step. And finally, with a hand on the knob, he turns to give you one last glance. He can tell you’re holding in your breath and he doesn’t know why it bothers him so much. Why it make him feel so much like a monster…
Click. The wooden door swings open as he pushes it gently.
“Now leave.”
A wave of nausea strikes with your words. “Amor—“
“Stop. Don’t even look at me.” Tension. “I don’t want to see you ever again—not even by accident.”
And that was the last stab that ended it all.
-
Every now and then, he wonders how you are. Hopefully better. 
He hears your name mentioned once in a blue moon, but instinctively blocks it out, too disturbed at the thought of what occurred between you two. 
What did occur between you two?
He could take a guess and say that you’re internally fucked. Straight and simple. 
But it’s still annoying. The way he wishes to forget you with every passing birthday wish. 
At first, it was because he missed you. He just wanted to forget you because he missed you—yes.
Later, it was because the memory of the cramped room suffocated him. The sound of glass breaking was stronger than the sound of his car crashing. And somehow the latter seemed better. 
He just wanted to forget that day—yes. 
Staring off into space has been his thing for a long time, often getting called out on it. Now, he finds himself with his eyes closed, too scared that someone might notice his feelings and feel the need to ask if he’s okay. 
He hasn't been. Not since you. 
“Grape or watermelon?”
Popping and eye open, he catches a glance of Lewis before rolling over. “I’m good.”
It’s tough, this silent war between both his friends. The break up simply made this…tough. Especially when no one really knows what happened. 
Setting the electrolytes down, the Brit claims a spot next to the brunette. Groaning at the unwanted company, Carlos switches to sit upright. Brown eyes glare strongly before Lewis laughs it off. 
“How you doin’, bud?”
Great, no yeah, just severely depressed thanks to your so-called friend. Would you mind asking her where she gets her antidepressants from for me? I mean, I would, but last time we saw each other she, uh, I don’t know, tried to stab me? And you know what’s the most fucked up shit? It’s the fact that I still love her just the same. 
I just wanted to help. 
He forces a shy smile. “Fine.”
A pity grimace. “I can tell she misses you, you know?”
Carlos hates how excited the thought of you alone—dreamily sighing for his return—gets him to sit up straighter, suddenly interested. It’s foolish, really. 
“She would never admit it, but I can tell because I know—”
“Her?” The Spaniard lets out a mocking scoff. “Trust me, you don’t. Not entirely.”
That shuts Lewis right up as he sits there, staring blankly. A dark brow furrows. “Listen, I don’t know what happened between you two—not that I need to know—but she’s a good person. And so are you. So…don’t be afraid of reaching out.”
He flickers his brown eyes accusingly. “Why should I? Did she put you up to this?”
“She didn’t—“
But the fact is, the hesitation gives him away. Anger arises as the Spaniard rolls his eyes. “I knew it, God, I knew it!” A second. “I know her.”
The Brit drowns with nervousness as he waves his hands in despair. “She just wants you to apologize!”
A singular laugh. “Apologize for what?” He pauses, squinting at his friend. “She didn’t tell you why we broke up, did she?”
“No.”
“Then you don’t really know who’s fault it was, do you?”
Lewis looks down onto his lap. “No. Not really.”
“Great, then let me be the one to tell you that it was both of ours. I’m no saint but neither is she.”
An award silence lingers as the Spaniards voice echoes the room. Lewis nods. “Understood. I got it, okay?”
He sighs an irregular sigh. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“Don’t worry about it, man.” A sheepish grin. “It’s not my place to fix anything about your guys’ relationship, I get it.”
Carlos’ face switches to bright red as he nods his head once. “T-thanks.”
The Brit, ever happily, stands up firmly before patting his back. “I’m always here if you need to talk.”
“Gracias.” Lewis is just a few steps away when he clears his throat before he can even stop himself from asking. “How’s she doing?”
It came across almost softer than a mumble, and one might have missed it if not alert, but not Lewis. 
Spinning to face the almost manchild with round eyes, he smiles as bright as the sun, and that makes his stomach turn. Because he knows. He knows you’re doing—
“Really well.”
Fluffy hair falls down as he tilts his head, clicking his tongue. “That’s good.” Sure. He returns the same smile with a twitch. “That’s really good.”
Lewis has known you two for a long time now. He’s unwillingly memorized your ticks. How the right side of your face slightly twitches before every lie, or how the left side of his does the same before every lie. Much like right now. 
The Brit contemplates for a minute, then two, then opens his mouth in the most hesitant manner. 
“She’s moving to Germany.” Carlos freezes. “Only for a few months. Maybe a year, who knows. But…you should read her book.”
He unfreezes. “Her what?”
A faint smile. Eyes crinkled. “It’s a tough read, but I believe it was necessary. You know, to finally talk about it.”
-
He never quite believed you would open up this way, and yet here he was, in an unknown bookstore, spacing out. Your name jumps out like some shooting star, too difficult to ignore. 
Without a doubt, you’d get a lawsuit from your step-father. Of course—you were only dragging the last name of what seemed to be the world's richest man. 
For what it’s worth, Carlos is proud. This must mean you’re open to moving on. To get the necessary help you so desperately need. From start to finish, the pages are enticing. You go into gruesome depth, something you never seemed to have a problem in doing. From the mention of how her eyes remained open with no sign of life, only terror, to the fact that you got your many scars from punching the door, trying to get in on time. How he bribed his way against the laws. 
Everything seemed to be coming out.
So then why, as he sits in his driver's room, staring at your picture in the back of the book, does he feel like doesn’t believe it? 
Not even a generous half.
-
Angelica lived up to the first five letters of her name. 
She was there for you in the moments you needed her the most. She braided your hair for playdates, she tied your shoe laces even when you were too embarrassed to ask, and she worked her way up, making sure you had it all. 
Undeniably, she was one hell of a woman. Then again, she had more within her—pulled some trigger you never thought she’d pull.
You were going to lose it all, why couldn’t she foresee that? That conversation was going to rip your inheritance straight from your tight grip; the one that ensured your future vacations. How could she ever betray you? Her own daughter? 
You were acquisitive. You were possessive. You were partially responsible for her death.
But call it naiveness, you really thought it’d work.
No one will truly know the way your soul left your body when you heard you wouldn’t get a single dollar. Not even a fucking cent. You had to find some other way to stay secure.
But Carlos was out to get you, you just know he was. You don’t have a clue as to how he found out about the truth, about what happened inside that stupid mansion, but he knew it all. And you had to get out of there.
Only it led you back to square one. With no purpose. With no money. Fuck men and their actions, seriously, too all hell with them.
However, you were your mothers daughter at the end of the day.
You could be a writer. An even better one that she could've ever been. If you wanted to, you could do it. 
And that is exactly what you did.
You typed, and typed, and typed until your fingers would cramp up. The multi-billionaire was a leviathan and everyone would see that no matter what. 
You, on the other hand, were an innocent bystander. Too weak to intervene, to fight back. Too young. Yeah. That was what happened that night.
But you also had your own perspective. One your mom could never match.
While she married for the illusion of love, you would’ve married for money with no shame. Carlos just happened to be the luckiest of strikes because you got both. 
While she always was at the front of the room without having to try, you were always in the back with a bitter smile. Why did she get to have two dimples? All eyes would have surely been on you if you had at least one. 
And while she never cared about reaching the New York Times Best Seller list—you did. 
She would have jumped with joy just by selling ten copies, but not you. You always wanted more—craved more. Label it as ambition. 
More copies sold means more money. A trust fund means more money. Playing the victim against your step-father means even more money. So yeah…
You did care about that stupid list. 
Tilting your head back against your seat, you flinch at the taste of the pill, too familiar for your liking, but the wine helps. It always does nowadays. 
Buzz. 
Picking up with a level of indifference was all fake—you had been yearning this call for what seemed like your whole life.
“Hey.” His voice is almost raw. Like he could use a couple cough drops. “I-I-I read your book. It was incredible.”
And for the first time in a while, you smile. “Thank you, that means a lot, Carlos.”
You can hear the static against the line, indicating once again that you’re on opposite sides of the world and not together. You can almost bet that it will always stay that way. 
The Spaniard coughs awkwardly into your ear.
“Oh, and also, congrats on making it onto the New York Times Best Seller.”
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andillneverbethesame · 5 months ago
Text
CASUAL
❥ draco malfoy x reader
❥ warnings; oral sex, implied vaginal sex, not reread — may contain gramatical mistakes
❥ word count; 2,3k
❥ a/n; ik i should be prob writing your ts requests but i've been listening to casual by chappel roan sm lately and got idea for this fic sorry for the second smut not being written. i realized how much i don't like writing it.
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you and your dear friend daphne greengrass were seated in the slytherin's common room sofa, doing your potion's homework on the last minute.
"ugh, does snape hate us? this is an awful homework!" daphne complained with her head in her hands.
"i agree," you spoke. "this is taking forever. and i gotta meet draco in-" you checked your watch "-fifteen minutes."
daphne sighed, making you glance at her with a raised eyebrow.
"got a problem, greengrass?"
she stared at you, contemplaining on what she should say. "i think you're a loser that you're still hanging around and let him treat you like that."
daphne didn't like draco before this thing between you two even started, none of your friends did. but they hate him even more, knowing he's wiping the floor with you.
"you don't know how sweet he actually is," you tried to convince her. and a bit yourself, too.
"it's a facade."
in that moment, you could see from the corner of your eye two girls walking past you and eyeing you up and down.
"do you think it's serious between her and malfoy?" asked one the other.
"nah. nott said malfoy told him she's just a girl he bangs on his couch." answered the other.
you froze. this was so humiliating. you could only hope that those were just rumours and draco never said anything like that to theodore. you could ask nott, but you doubt he would tell you if he really heard him say that. him and draco were the best of friends.
you met daphne's look that clearly said, "i told you so."
"oh, fuck off!" you packed your things and left the common room.
draco said to meet him in the library, so that's where you were heading. on your way there, you tried your best to ignore the looks and the whispers of other people. it was a date night, after all. you were determined not to let your mood be ruind by silly things like that.
the library was quiet as always. you always thought draco asked to meet you there because it's such a calm, romantic place. plus, both you and draco loved reading so you'd spent your date time like that. however, daphne suggested a few weeks ago that the reason draco wanted to meet in the library, was the fact that there weren't much people in the evening hours, so no one would see you there. you could only hope that that wasn't the case.
you found him at his usual spot in the right back corner of the library.
but he was not alone.
he was seated at the table while pansy parkinson was sitting on the table with her legs crossed. you could see her fingers slightly lifting up her skirt, revealing her underwear. and the worst thing was: draco was looking. and by the way he smirked and licked his lips, he liked it.
rage filled your entire body but you decided to play it cool. you put on a smile and made your way over to them.
"hey, pansy," you said, still smiling brightly. "didn't expect to see you here. haven't you got a better thing to do than flirting with other girl's man?"
she rolled her eyes and got off the table. she send draco a wink and blew him a kiss before leaving.
you huffed and took a seat opposite to draco. he continued on reading his book, but as if he could feel the daggers you've been sending through his head, he lifted his gaze.
"what?" he asked, acting clueless.
"care to explain why it looked like if i didn't walk in you two would be shagging each other's brains out?"
"we wouldn't." you swore you could see his eyes crinkling. what a fucking liar. "why do you care anyway? are you jealous?"
"yeah, i am!" you admitted. "we are together. you have me. so why do you still cave other's girl attention so badly?"
he snorted. "we're not together."
you froze, feeling humiliated once again. this was so embarassing you wished you had the ability to melt into the ground. but you didn't. all you could do was stare at him for a few seconds before letting a faint "oh" leave your lips. you couldn't help it. tears started to form in the corners of your eyes.
draco saw that. "i'm sorry, baby. i told you no attachment." his arm reached over the table and placed it over yours.
"i know. you're right. i'm sorry," you apologized although you had nothing to apologize for.
draco stood up from his seat and kneeled in front of you. "it's okay, i forgive you. you're someone i couldn't lose." and then, his hands went to the sides of your face and his lips to yours. although, you were deep down still feeling angry. the feeling of his kiss made it vanish.
------------------------------------------------
"oh merlin!"
you were in draco's limousine, your legs were over the boy's shoulders and his head was between your thighs. you gripped his blonde hair. he was truly a master at this. his tongue worked perfectly on you, eating you out as if he was starved and as if he never tasted anything better.
you were sure his fingers would leave a mark from the tight hold on your outer thighs. but you didn't mind. it would be there to remind you of the best head of your life.
his tongue flicked over your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body each time he touched that one spot that caused you to see heaven. your eyes were rolled to the back of your head as your nails dugged into the skin of his shoulders. you were close to the edge despite it being only five minutes.
your glassy eyes watched him. it was truly a wonderful sight that could alone make you come. and then, his icy blue eyes met yours. and that was all you needed to fall apart under his touch.
when you finally collected yourself and draco wiped his mouth with a napkin he pulled from the back pocket of his pants, you two sat in silence with your head on his shoulder and his arm around your body. this was one of the moments you refused to believe that draco believed it was casual. him kissing the top of your head, his fingers intertwined with yours, him smiling when you drew a heart on the limousine's foggy window-
"would you like to meet my mother?"
-him asking you to meet his mother-
wait. what?
your eyes went wide as you pulled away from his embrace. "what?"
he shrugged. "my mum wants to meet you."
you raised an eyebrow and smiled. "you told your mum about me?" that was surprising. i mean, sure, you told your mum about him too, but that was different. this meant everything to you while it meant very little to nothing to draco.
"no," he shook his head and your smile dropped. "i'd bet all my money it was zabini or nott."
"oh, right. well, if you'd like me to, i'd like to meet your mum."
"great," he nodded. "i think you'd like her. i'm not so sure about my dad but. . ." he didn't finish his sentence and you didn't ask kim, knbowing how the relationship between him and lucius was.
you were about to meet his parents. was it still casual?
---------------------------------------------
you gasped at the sight of the malfoy manor. it was twice bigger than you expected. the gate opened and you two walked in to the property.
"how rich are you?" you asked him, still gaping.
"enough to never have to work for the rest of my life," he replied with a smirk.
"hm, i'd like that."
and then, your mind began on creating fantasies again. you were dumb. but you loved it. you dreamt of you and draco in a year, after you two graduate. you dreamt of living together and it didn't have to be in a manor large like this one. it could be in a room at three broomsticks. it didn't matter as long as you two were together. and then, maybe you two would be something. and he'd show you off to everyone.
you blushed at the thought. these fantasies are fatal.
draco opened the large door to the manor and you two walked in. for some reason, it was a bit colder than the outside air but you could imagine yourself spending time there.
"mother?" draco called out but there was no response. but then, an elf walked into the hallway and the boy asked him, "dobby, where are mother and father?"
"t-they are out, mr malfoy. they are taking care of some business," he replied, his voice shaking.
draco nodded, looking as if he knew what business the elf was talking about. he turned to you and said, "let's go. we'll wait in my room."
he took a hold of your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, making fireworks explode inside of you.
his room was quite small compared to the other rooms in the manor, but it was very cozy anyway. he had the dark walls covered with posters of his favourite quidditch team and also with pictures. you took your time walking around and exploring. there were countless of photographs with him and his friends, two or three with his mother (zero with his father) and one with. . .
you.
it was a photo of you two on one of slytherin's party, before you started hooking up, you were sitting on the common's room sofa with your arm around him and his hand on your knee. you already fancied him at this point. the look in your eyes as you gazed at him couldn't be missed.
you really did love him.
you turned around, still smiling. you found him sitting on his bed so you took the advantage and began to straddle him. his head hit the matress as his hands gripped your hips. your fingers found its way to his colar, untying his tie.
"what do you say to a little fun before dinner?"
-----
"draco!" female voice echoes through the manor. "we're home! you can come downstairs!"
you two spent the last fifteen minutes in his bed, in silence.
"well, we definitely can't come down looking like this." you both were still naked, not bothering to put on your clothes just yet. your hair were a mess and your lipstick was smudged from the endless making out.
you got up to find your clothes since they were scattered everywhere across the floor.
"have you seen my bra?" you asked draco after you found your panties. you saw him holding it, expecting to give it to you. but instead of that, he send you a wink, turned around and put it in one of his drawer.
a light laugh slip passed your lips. "you dick. that's my favourite one!"
"well," he shrugge, "it's mine now, sorry."
you rolled your eyes and slipped on your maroon dress. this one was a gift from draco for your birthday.
right after that, you grabbed your clutch and walked into the bathroom to fix your appearance.
"a question," you called out to draco.
"yeah?"
"what did you say to your mum?"
"what do you mean?"
"well," you paused to put on your lipstick. "what did you tell her about us and our relationship status?"
he leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms on his chest. "what would i tell her? i didn't tell her anything."
"oh. . . then what. . . are we?"
you heard him sigh. "y/n, why do you expect another answer? we're casual. i told you that at least a hundred times."
casual.
a perfect evening ruined by one fucking word.
you were so done with this.
"casual?" you repeated, turning around to face him. "i'm about to meet your fucking parents, draco. what the fuck do you mean that we're casual? do i mean nothing more to you than an occasional shag? why, draco, why?"
"i told you, i'm not ready for a relationship," he tried to reason.
"not ready for a relationship? you like ten girlfriends before me, how can you be not ready? at least tell the truth and say you don't want to be with me."
"oh merlin." he exhaled. "you know that's not true. why are you so bitter about it?"
"i'm meeting your parents," you repeated for the second time. "you take me out on dates, you buy me an expensive dress, you even talked about a future with me in it once but then you say it's casual and you wonder why i'm bitter?"
"but i told you countless times we're not together-"
"draco!" his mother's voice called again.
"we'll be there in a minute!" he yelled. his voice sounded a bit harsher than he intented it to be. "i tell you we're not together all the time and you always say it's fine. but i can tell it's obviously not. so why are you still hanging around?"
you nodded. "you know what? you're right. i tried hard to be the calm girl that holds her tongue and gives you space, but honestly? i'm not. and i'm exhausted of pretending to be in case you change your mind one day and tell me you wanna be with me." you began to pack your things.
"wait. don't." you stopped, hoping he'll say the right things. but the next words were a dissapointment. "what do i tell my parents?"
you shrugged. "say what you tell to your friends. it's casual. so there's really no point in meeting them." you walked past him with a sweet fake smile and before he could say anything, you were out of sight.
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mrsbarnesblog · 1 year ago
Text
my everything
masterlist ko-fi ao3
Summary: The last thing that Bucky ever expected to see was the love of his life from the past trapped in one of the Hydra bunkers in the cryofreeze chamber. Yet here he was almost two days later, staring at your still unconscious body through the window at the medical wing, imagining the horror and disgust on your face when you found out that he was no longer the innocent and happy boy you knew before.
Word count: 6.8K
Warnings: angst and fluff, I fucked up original timeline so there is no civil war in here, bucky needs and gets a hug, you're bucky's gf from the 40's, cryofreeze, self hate talk, happy end.
Author's note: enjoy💘
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“Aren't you fucking tired of this?” Bucky growled as he burst into the common room where Sam, Steve, and Natasha were sitting. "If you set me up on another date, Wilson, I'll break your fucking wings."
Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Calm down, cyborg. Look at you, all angry and stressed out; you need to get laid! When was the last time you’ve been on a date?"
Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise as he glanced between his two friends.
"Sit down, Barnes." Nat nodded her head at the couch across from her. Bucky hesitated for a few seconds, as too many feelings were bubbling inside of him, but he obeyed and sat down, crossing his arms over his chest. “Now explain what happened.”
 "This idiot is trying to set me up again.” He said, nodding towards Sam. "And I told you I'm not interested."
 “But why? Don't you want to feel like back in the days and have some fun with pretty women? This Hydra shit clearly wasn’t good for you. You’re too tense and always mad. Go on a date, maybe you’ll find a good girl to spend some time with.” Sam genuinely wanted to help his friend, and he didn’t understand why Bucky was so mad about it.
The look on Bucky’s face was weird. Like he wanted to say something but, at the same time, didn’t want to share his thoughts. 
“Are you already dating someone?” Natasha leaned with her elbows on her knees and studied his face. There was definitely something that Bucky didn’t want to say.
Steve looked between the three of his friends, and when Nat asked Bucky a question, it was like a bulb turned on in his head.
 "Buck…" Bucky met Steve's eyes, holding eye contact for a few seconds, like they were talking about something that only they knew.
 “Hey!” Sam said, waving his hands. “What are you two doing? Do you know something, Rogers?”
 “Buck, is it because of her?” The blonde said it almost in a whisper. “You still remember, right?”
“Did you have a girlfriend before the war?” Natasha, as always, understood everything immediately, and it was funny to see how Sam’s mouth fell open in shock.
Bucky clenched and unclenched his hands in his lap, not sure if he should reveal the truth. He had kept it to himself for so long—ever since he escaped Hydra and the memories from the past started to flood his head. It was too painful to think about you. To think about the woman who was his whole life many years ago. He remembered everything, and now he sees you in his dreams almost every night. Sometimes in nightmares, sometimes in the good ones, about the life that you two would’ve had if he hadn’t gone to war.
“What the hell are you hiding from us?” Sam shouted again, trying to get attention.
 “I…” Bucky frowns, staring at his hands. “I had a girlfriend... before the army, before the Hydra.” He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. Just the thought of you hurt him, making him regret everything. That he left, that he didn’t marry you, and that the universe had this shitty plan.
 “And that’s why you don’t want to go out with someone?” Come on, man, how long has it been?  80 years? Get over it. It must have been another one of your girlfriends that you hooked up with when you were young.” He chuckled, looking between his friends, none of whom seemed happy with his choice of words.
 "Sam, don't—"
“You sound like an asshole.” 
 “Get over it?” Bucky didn’t let Steve or Nat finish their sentences before he barked at Sam, looking even more angry than before. “Just another one of my girlfriends? Do you have any idea what the fuck you're talking about, Wilson? " He looked like he was ready to kick his friend right in the face. “She wasn’t one of them. In fact, there was no “them”. In my entire life, I’ve never even touched another woman because I've been in love with Y/N since I was 14. We started dating when I turned 18, and I proposed before I had to go to the war.”
Bucky’s emotions quickly changed as the hot rage turned into a longing for memories and feelings. He felt a lump in his throat, so he reached into his pocket for his wallet, from which he pulled out your old and shabby photo, gently running his finger over your face.
“Y/N was everything to me. She said yes, and I promised her that I would return so we could get married. I imagined that I would spend my whole life with her, you know? I don't need any other woman. I do not want it. I still love her, and I don't care if either of you find it funny.
The room fell into heavy silence. Steve just looked out the window, remembering the times when the three of you went to Coney Island, and he was always the third wheel. You were his friend too, and the aching feeling in his chest was too heavy.
Sam felt a little bit awkward after saying these things about your relationships. He wanted to tease Bucky, not be rude.
Natasha was the one who took the first step when she stretched the arm so Bucky would give her the photo. “You two look so cheesy. She’s really gorgeous.” She smirked, looking at the old black-and-white photo of you two sitting on the bench. Your back was almost lying on Bucky’s body, and his arms were wrapped around you. It seemed like you were talking about something and enjoying the private moment. Bucky had the biggest smile Natasha has ever seen on his face, as he was looking at you with heart eyes.
 “Can I see?” Sam finally asked, nodding at the photograph in Natasha's hands. She passed him the photo and Bucky moved in his place, feeling a little bit uncomfortable about revealing this part of his life. 
“You two look cute. Weird to see a smile on your face.” Sam chuckled.
“Where did you find this photo?” Steve leaned closer to the picture, immediately remembering the day you and Bucky took it and the way Bucky has had it with him ever since.
 “I took it to the war. Always had it in a jacket, even on missions. She was with me that day on the train. I think Hydra found this in my pocket. When I ran away from there, I found a box with my stuff; the photo was there.”
 “Have you… tried to find something about her?” Steve lifted his head, studying his friend's reaction.
 “Yeah,” Bucky sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know how, but I didn’t find anything. Two years after my fall, there was no record of her. No marriage certificate, no place of residence, no place of work. Nothing. Like she just disappeared.” He shook his head in despair. 
 “But it's impossible.” Steve frowned, giving the photo back. “A person can't just disappear and leave nothing behind.”
 "I don't know," Bucky shrugged, looking back at the photo for a second and then slipping it back into his wallet. "Maybe it's for the best. I don't know how I would come to terms with the news of her death.”
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It’s been almost two weeks since that conversation, and luckily for Bucky, Sam didn’t attempt to set him up with anyone anymore.
Earlier that day, Tony announced that his new technology had spotted some weird activity in something that looked like an old and hidden Hydra base. It was pretty much abandoned, but there were signs of small energy consumption, as if something was still constantly working. That’s why the team of Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Tony had to check it out and destroy any possible danger.
After being free from Hydra, Bucky didn’t take part in many missions because the team agreed that it would be better for him to heal and stay far away from triggers. But this base brought up many concerns: it was hidden far away, there was no information about it in nonofficial papers, and even Bucky himself had never heard about it. Tony insisted that someone with knowledge of the Hydra system should go there too.
When the four of them arrived on the quinjet at something that looked like a well-hidden abandoned bunker, they decided not to split up and go through the main and only entrance.
“Be careful; we don’t know that they might hide in here.” Steve said, going in first with a shield in front of him. Bucky and Sam went after him, holding rifles and checking the big and almost empty room.
“They should clean in here, kinda dusty.” Tony chuckled in his usual playful voice. 
“It’s not a good time for your jokes, Stark.” Steve was always a little too serious during missions, and Tony really liked pushing his buttons. “I see the light in the other room.” He whispered, carefully opening the door. 
“Holy shit.” Sam and Tony spoke at the same time when all four of them entered the giant room.
There were five big glass machines that were a little bit foggy and had a little lightning in them.
“What is this?” Steve ran closer to one of them and saw that there was a man inside. “Oh my god, there is a man in here... It looks like he’s alive.”
“There is a folder called “The Winter Soldier Program” with personal information.” Sam said, picking up a file from the shelf in the corner of the room. “George Harris, 27 from New York. Kathleen Hill, 21 from New York…” He read, mumbling to himself.
“It’s a cryostasis chamber. Hydra used it to freeze me.” Bucky lowered his rifle, coming closer to one of the chambers. Another man. “It lowers your body temperature to the point that you can be kept like that for many years. Hydra– “ Bucky went silent when he got to another glass camera. 
“Barnes? Why is there—” Sam didn’t finish his words when the sound of Bucky’s weapon falling on the cold concrete filled the room. 
“No-no-no, please, no!” He whispered, moving closer to the glass. He couldn’t believe what he saw. 
You were right in front of him, with closed eyes and too pale skin. That was impossible. It’s not you. There was no chance that you somehow ended up with Hydra. 
Bucky felt like he was unable to breathe. He tried to inhale some air, but the lump in his throat was too big. The tears blurred his vision; he didn’t hear anything around him, as your almost lifeless body was the only thing that he thought about. You, his sweet girl, somehow ended up trapped with monsters, and he couldn’t do anything to save you from it. 
“Bucky!” Two pairs of hands dragged him from the chamber, and the blurry vision of his best friend was now visible in front of him. “Bucky, listen to me! You should calm down, buddy. Just breathe, okay?” Steve deeply inhaled and exhaled to help Bucky, and after a few minutes, he was finally able to speak.
“T-that’s impossible, Steve. She shouldn’t be there! She should’ve found another man and lived a happy life with her family!” He said in a shaking voice, angrily wiping away tears from his face. 
“I don’t know how this happened, Buck; I really don’t. But she may be alive there.” Steve supportively squeezed Bucky’s shoulder. 
“We can’t just take these people out. We should transport them to the tower and find the safest way to unfreeze them.” Tony said in a serious voice, not joking around anymore. He walked closer to the chambers, studying each of them. “It looks like they are working on their own power, and this one, “he pointed at the one that was dark and with water drops from the inside. “Doesn’t work anymore. The man is probably dead.” 
“Are there any chances of getting them out of there alive?” Sam glared at Bucky, who was just staring at your peaceful but haggard face through the glass.
“I don’t know, but me and Banner will do everything we can.”
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It took another day to find a way to move four of the still-working chambers to the compound and ten more hours to defrost everyone. and to say that Bucky was completely stressed out and exhausted was an understatement. He didn’t sleep at all, staying in the room near the lab to get all the news as soon as possible. He walked around the room for hours, overthinking everything—what will happen if you die or if you survive? Is it really better for you to wake up and see all the damage that he has done for the past years? To see the empty shell of the person you loved in the past?
“Barnes!” Tony blasted through the doors with a grin on his face. “We did it.”
“You did it?” Bucky’s whole body was buzzing with energy and anxiety. “Where is she? Is she alive? Is she conscious? Can I see her?”
“Wow-wow, calm down. She is alive, but you can’t see or visit her right now. Dr. Cho has to run many tests to find out whether your lovebird is healthy or not.” Tony nodded his head toward the corridor so Bucky would follow him. “We put each of them into a different room, and your Blonde Bestie insisted on putting Y/N into the best and the biggest one. There is a special window through which you can see her, but she cannot see you from the inside. So you can be as creepy as you want to until she gets better.” Stark slapped Bucky on the shoulder to show some kind of support when they stopped in front of the said window. 
You were lying on the bed, surrounded by too many wires and monitors. Dr. Cho was standing above you, writing something down, and checking the device near your head.
She said something aloud, probably talking to FRIDAY, and came out of the room. 
“Oh, Mr.Barnes, I heard that Y/N was your girlfriend, right?” She smiled, and Bucky slightly nodded, not being able to completely drag his attention from your body. “I’ll tell you this: it’s my most difficult and unique case, but she’s a strong one. Her body heals faster than other people’s from cryo. I believe she’ll be fully awake tomorrow.” 
“Thank you, Dr.Cho.” Bucky felt a little bit better now that he had more hope that you could really be back. Dr.Cho gave him another smile and left to check on her other patients. 
“I have to find out if these people have families. Did Y/N have someone who might be alive?” Tony asked. 
“No, she didn’t.”
“I’ll go, and you, Barnes, will stay away from her for now, understood?” He pointed a finger into Bucky’s face. 
“Yes. I’ll just watch from here.” 
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You were alive. You were awake. Bucky saw with his own eyes as your body started moving and you slowly sat on the bed, confused by your surroundings. He saw panic on your face because you were clearly disoriented and scared to be alone in an unknown place. 
As fast as he could, he found Dr. Cho, who was in the room with Steve and Natasha. When he, choking on all the emotions, told them about you, it was a mess. 
Dr. Cho and a few other nurses ran to your room to check your condition because you were the first one to open your eyes.
Bucky, Steve, and Nat stood on the other side of the window. Bucky wasn’t able to fully convince himself that it was true that you were so close to him. It felt like a dream, like a weird picture that his brain created to comfort him. 
“She’s okay, Buddy.” Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder because it seemed like he didn’t even blink or breathe. “You can see her soon.”
“No.” He mumbled.
“What?” His friend’s head shot in his direction.
“Someone else should talk to her first. Tell her about my past. Maybe she won’t even want to see me after everything I’ve done.”
“I can go and talk to her first.” Natasha softly smiled. She knew the feeling when you’re afraid that someone will leave you because of your past. “I think it’s better for Y/N to first find out that she woke up in the new century and that she was cryofrozen for many years. I’ll tell her that Steve is alive, and then me and you can both tell her about Bucky.” 
Bucky just nodded to her words, still not being able to look at anything besides you. He wasn’t sure that after you find out all the truth, you’ll allow him to even be around you, so for now, he tried to memorize you as much as he could. 
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Since the moment you opened your eyes, everything felt unknown and different. You couldn’t explain it, but something had changed. You didn’t know where you were, what time it was, how you ended up in that place, or who all these people were. You felt scared as too many doctors crowded your room and fussed around, talking about tests and medical procedures. 
The young woman who seemed to be in charge was actually really sweet. After only you and her were left in the room, she sat on your bed with a pile of clothes in her hands and smiled at you. 
“So, Y/N, my name is Dr. Cho, and I’m here to help you heal faster and without any consequences.” 
“Where am I?” Your voice was too raspy and harsh. It felt like you swallowed a glass of sand. 
She sighed, looking at her journal. “It’s hard to explain, but I promise that there’s nothing to worry about. You are safe. In a few minutes, someone will visit you to talk about everything and answer any of your questions. Now, I was told to give you these clothes so it would be more comfortable for you. You can change in the bathroom right there; there is also anything you might need like a toothbrush, soap, and so on.” She pointed at the door in the corner of the room. 
You stayed silent until Dr. Cho left your room, and then slowly, feeling kind of scared to move around this place, you went to the bathroom to change out of the hospital gown. 
The bathroom looked even weirder than the main room; you had never seen such furniture and interiors. And when you unfolded your new clothes, it took you a few seconds to figure it out. It was some kind of soft pants and a large t-shirt. What kind of clothes was it? Yes, they were actually comfortable, but it wasn’t something that you saw in the stores. 
While you were brushing your teeth, your brain was working too hard trying to figure out what the hell was going on, until you heard someone calling your name. 
“Hey, Y/N, my name is Natasha.” The pretty red-headed woman was standing near your bed with a tray and food in her hands. 
“Please, tell me what’s going on. Where am I? Why does everything look so strange here?” You said in a desperate voice, you almost wanted to scream because you woke up several hours ago, but no one told you a single thing.
“Don’t be nervous, honey. Let's sit on the bed; you’ll eat your special meal, and I’ll tell you everything you want.” She was so nice and genuine, so you nodded and sat down. 
Natasha placed a tray near you, and you saw that it was your favorite food of all time. You took a bite, and your taste buds were immediately filled with the taste of the meal that James cooked you almost every day. James. It was his recipe. The tears flooded your eyes when all of the memories about your dead boyfriend returned to your head. Yeah, how could you forget that it had been at least two years since he was gone? 
“Y/N? What happened?” Natasha’s worried voice distracted you. 
“It just reminded me of someone. I felt like I was home, and it hurts me because nothing is the same anymore.” You wiped your tears away, taking another bite. 
“I promise you that everything is going to be okay. You are not alone here.” You frowned at her words but still nodded. “So ask whatever you want to.” 
“Where am I, and why does everything look so different?”
“You are at the Avengers Tower, located in Manhattan, New York City. I know that might sound ridiculous, but you were in the cryostasis chamber up until now. It’s 2023, and a lot of things have changed in the world; that's why it might be confusing.”
You stayed silent for a few seconds, overthinking Natasha’s words. “It can’t be true. I can’t be more than one hundred years old now. And I look the same.” 
“This is how cryostasis works—it freezes the body so it can survive many years without any changes. Now tell me how you ended up with Hydra. What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?” 
“Back in the 40s, I was a nurse. My– my boyfriend— he died during the war.” You stopped because of the lump in your throat. It was too hard to bring back these memories because it was the first time you said these words out loud. “He died, and then my closest friend died too, and I just had no one left. I was alone, and I didn’t even know what to live for because all of my dreams about family and a happy life with the person I loved died too.” Natasha put her hand over yours on the bed and gave you a supportive squeeze. “Then one day in our hospital, scientists were looking for people who would like to test new serums. I decided that I had nothing to lose, so me and a few other nurses signed in.” 
“Kathleen, Josh, Adam, and Frank, right?” The woman in front of you gave you a sad smile.
“Yes, how do you know that?” 
“We found them with you. Adam’s camera was broken, so he died a long time ago, but the rest of them are here too, but, unfortunately, they haven’t regained consciousness yet.” 
You nodded. Your food was now done and set aside, and you sat on the bed more comfortably, bringing your knees to your chest. “These scientists were running some tests on us in the lab that they brought us in. It felt weird, and I remember that Kathleen always complained that it was painful. The last thing that happened was that they told us to step into a weird-looking machine that was meant to be a part of some kind of experiment. That’s it.”
“It was Hydra. A terrorist organization that tried to rule the world. They were evil, and you were lucky to get out of there alive.” Natasha pursed her lips. “Thank you for telling me this.” 
You two sat in silence for a few seconds until she looked over her shoulder at the weird-looking mirror that took up almost a whole wall. 
“Is anything wrong?” You furrowed.
“I have to tell and show you something really important, but everyone is worried about how you are going to react to this.” She studied your face with a weird expression. 
“Is there anything more crazy than me being in another century after I was frozen?” You tried to smile, but Natasha just nodded. 
“I’ll be right back. Please, try to breathe, okay?” She stood from your bed, took the tray, and left. 
Natasha came back, and behind her was the last person you ever expected to see again. You jumped on your feet, feeling like your eyes were lying to you. 
“This—this can’t be true... No, Natasha—Steve, you died.” You mumbled under your breath. Your heart rate was way higher than usual, and it felt like you were drowning. You put your hand over your eyes, as your body started shaking. It’s just a dream. It’s just a weird fucking dream.
Two large hands wrapped around your body, pulling you into the hard chest. “Sh-s, Y/N, breathe, just breathe.” His familiar voice filled your ears, and you started crying harder, gripping his shirt. He was rocking you from side to side like a baby, while your tears and sobs filled the silent room.
“What– how– how is this possible? You crushed the plane into ice.” You shattered, tears running down your face.
“The Super Soldier serum saved me. The S.H.I.E.L.D. found my body 12 years ago.” Steve loosened his arms around you, allowing you to look up at him. He was exactly the same. This blonde hair, these light blue eyes, and that soft smile that he always had for you. “Please, sit back on the bed. We have a lot to talk about.” His face was now more serious. Even though he was extremely happy to get back his second closest best friend, he knew that Bucky was dying without you.
Steve and Bucky both looked at your interaction with Natasha, and it was obvious that everything Bucky wanted was for you to be near him. He looked through that window without any distraction, and his face lit up with a small smile when you tasted the food that he cooked for you and became emotional. He knew that you would appreciate it.
“About what?” You wiped your face with the back of your hand and sat down, holding Steve's hand. Natasha, who was still standing in the middle of the room, passed him a thick folder and left. Steve sat near you and gave you a supportive smile. 
“Bucky.” 
You froze and snatched your hand out of his. 
“Steve, no. Please—” You wrapped your hands around your body, as if you were instantly trying to hide from the pain that was aching in your chest. “Please, don’t hurt me anymore. I can’t handle that. Talking about him w-when he’s not with me anymore.” The sods started to get out of you, and you hid your face from Steve’s soft and apologizing eyes.
“He is alive.” Steve’s hands fell on your shoulders, and he lowered his head, trying to make you look him in the eyes.
“Don’t lie to me! He is dead; I saw the reports; I got the letter from Phillips saying that he’s sorry for our loss!” You particularly yelled at your friend. 
“Y/N, listen to me, okay? Bucky is alive. He is here. Behind that door, he’s watching us right now.” You were shaking your head in denial. 
That was impossible. You knew all this story; Steve himself told you what happened that day. There was no chance for Bucky to survive the fall from that height in the middle of nowhere. Yet here was Steve, sitting right before you. His big blue and soft eyes were looking into your eyes, and you didn’t see a single sign of hesitation or lying in there. He was so genuine that you wanted to believe that your boyfriend was, in fact, a few meters away from you.
“How? And why? James– he would’ve been with me if he were alive. Why isn’t he here?” You sobbed, and then the realization came to you. “That food—the food that Natsha brought me. It tasted exactly like he made it.”
“Bucky thought that it might comfort you. He found you in that laboratory, he has been near you since that day, and he saw that you were scared and disoriented when you woke up. And that's why I am here. Bucky insisted that I should talk to you first and tell you everything. He is afraid that you might not see him anymore after finding out everything that is written here.” Steve picked up the folder and put it on your lap. 
“The Winter Soldier” was written on top of the old-looking piece of paper, and for some reason you felt something weird in your chest.
“I want to let you know that whatever is in here, it cannot make me hate him.” You mumbled, hesitating to open the folder. “What’s in there, Steve? Tell me everything.”
“These are the papers that S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra had on the Winter Soldier. Everything that happened to him: experiments, torture, assassinations, crimes. This is what happened to Bucky after the fall. This is what Hydra did to him over these years.” 
You felt a lump in your throat when you opened the first page and saw Bucky’s photo from the army. But nothing prepared you for everything you read and saw after that. He wasn’t even James or Bucky anymore. He was a Soldier. An Asset. Someone without an identity. All the detailed descriptions of the medical procedures, brainwashing, electroshock, torture, and punishments with attached photos made you want to vomit and cry hysterically. You couldn’t stop crying when your shaking hands took a picture of the love of your life sitting shirtless and unconscious on some kind of stool with wires attached to his head. 
How could someone do that? How could someone torture a person almost to death and then just write about it like it was a fucking dairy? 
“His arm, it’s metal. Why is it made from metal?” Your teary-red eyes shoot back to Steve’s face. 
“Bucky lost it during the fall. They gave him a new one, but it causes him a lot of pain. Physical and mental.”
“I don’t— Steve, I don’t understand.” You took another picture with Bucky standing in his full black costume and a mask, not a single emotion on his face. “Why did they do this? For what?” 
“Hydra wanted to have the perfect asset. Killing machine. To commit crimes, kill unwanted people, and basically rule the world.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, looking at the floor. “They made Bucky the best. They completely cleared his head from the memories of his past; they trained him to be invincible and invisible. They had a special combination of words to control him, so he would always come back and do as he was told.”
You closed the file and moved it aside, closing your face with your hands while you were crying.
“And he thinks that I can reject him?” You whispered.
“Y/N, please try to understand what such things can do to your brain. Bucky goes to therapy, but he probably would never be able to fully heal from this experience.” His hand fell on your shoulder and squeezed it slightly. “Bucky always was a good person; that's why right now he feels so much guilt that it’s unimaginable. Even if nothing of this is his fault, he can’t forgive himself for these murders and damage. He has PTSD, nightmares, and a lot of trust issues.”
“I understand, but I would’ve never rejected him. He’s everything that I had, and when I lost him, it felt like hell.” You took a deep breath, looking Steve in the eyes. “Please, let me see him. I need it, and he needs it too.” Steve’s eyes softened at you. He almost forgot the love that his two best friends had for each other. 
“Give me a minute, okay?” He smiled, kissed your head, and left your room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
You were really going to see the man that you thought you had lost forever in a few seconds. It was almost three years for you, but almost eighty for him. A wave of anxiety washed over you when you thought that maybe he doesn’t feel the same anymore and doesn’t have the same feelings as you do. You almost went down a rabbit hole until the door started to open. 
You slowly stood up, feeling a little bit uneasy. Even though you and Steve were just talking about it, seeing Bucky alive felt unreal. Your eyes were sliding up and down his face to remember every little part. He looked different, more mature, with a broad chest and shoulders and long, silky hair. 
Bucky’s heart was pounding in his ears, and his mouth was completely dry while you were observing him. You had tears in your eyes, and your lower lip was trembling when you tried to hold yourself from crying out loud. You were in some baggy clothes that Nat found for you, but you still looked fucking gorgeous. Still the most beautiful girl on the whole planet. 
“Doll…” Bucky’s raspy voice filled the room, and it was everything you needed. 
In just a second, you ran to him, falling right into his body. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, and your face hidden into his neck. 
As soon as Bucky finally hugged your smaller body and felt that it was real and that you were real, he broke down. Every last piece of strength went through the window as the tears rolled down his cheeks, probably soaking your t-shirt.
He wanted to drop to his knees and beg for your forgiveness for all of the awful things that he had done. He didn’t deserve you anymore, not with this much blood on his hands. But Bucky couldn’t do what he wanted because your grip on him was so strong that he wasn’t even able to move away for an inch. 
“James…” Your quiet voice filled his ears, and it sent shivers down his spine. Only you and his ma called him that, and he missed it so fucking much.
Bucky’s hands moved from your waist a little bit lower, and you viewed it as an opportunity to get even closer. Your legs instantly wrapped around his body, and Bucky, making sure that you wouldn’t fall, went to the bed and sat down with you on his knees. 
“I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve done.” He sobbed, shaking his head. You pulled away a little bit, finally meeting Bucky face-to-face. 
“Don’t you dare apologize for the things that you weren’t able to control, James!” Your voice suddenly became rough, filled with so much anger toward the people who hurt your precious boy. His hand on your waist tightened, and you slid your own to cup Bucky’s face. “I want to kill every one of them. Everyone who hurt you, who punished you,” Soft fingertips traced the delicate skin of the templates where, as you remember from the photos, wires with electricity were placed. “You didn’t deserve to go through this, James. I wish I was there for you.” 
“You were always with me. Even when they wiped me, I still had someone in my head. A woman with a soft voice, who told me that I'm strong and that it will end soon. I would’ve died without it.” You both were looking into each other's teary eyes, both feeling too much love and desire. 
Your head slightly tilted towards his, connecting your foreheads, and for a few seconds, it felt like home. Like nothing happened and you two were just having a lazy morning in bed.
The calloused hand on the side of your face brought you back to reality. Bucky’s beautiful blue eyes were looking into yours, and, sharing one thought, you both moved closer and connected your lips. The kiss was so soft, slow, and gentle, like you had the whole time in the world. It was this type of kiss that said that you both were there and alive. It was a reminder of the love that you had for each other. Reassurance, that no matter what, you will be there.
“I missed you so fucking much, doll. Since the day I first remembered everything, all I could think about was you. Even tried to find you, but there was not a single document. I started to believe that you just found a man, changed your last name, and moved away from that mess.” You were so close to each other, not wanting to split up even for a second. Your hands were moving up and down Bucky’s hard chest while he was rubbing the soft skin of your cheek with his thumb.
“Are you joking, James? No one was able to replace you. The only people I talked to during that time were your mom and Becca.” His facial expression slightly changed at the mention of his family, and you placed a soft kiss on his stubble cheek. “I should’ve been the one who took care of them, but I was nothing without you, and Winnie almost made me move in with them. That’s why I jumped at the opportunity to be a volunteer for these tests.” 
Bucky shook his head, his eyes again full of regret and pain. “I hate that it happened because of me.”
“At least I’m here right now. With you.” You smiled, sliding your hand into his dark, long locks. “You know, James, you look really good for someone who’s older than one hundred years old. I like your hair. And stubble.” His eyes rolled back at the feeling of your nails on his scalp. It had been so long since someone touched him without an intention to hurt him, and the realization of that made your heart swell with the need to take care of your boyfriend. 
“You know that you’re one year younger than me, right?” Your favorite little smirk in the whole world appeared on Bucky’s lips, and you smiled, moving a little bit closer to his body. The metal hand on your waist tightened, and you realized that you hadn't seen it in person yet. 
Your right hand reached behind you, grabbing a hard wrist that was covered in leather. Bucky’s body immediately froze under you, and his eyes snapped open. 
“Doll, no… You don’t have to...” 
“I want to. Give me your hand, James.” You said without any hesitation. Bucky looked you in the eyes for a few seconds, but then brought his metal hand between your bodies. “It’s just me, okay? I’m not scared, and I want to know everything.” You wrapped both of your hands around his hand and then gently started to take off the glove. 
The dark metal with beautiful golden stripes was shining under the bright light of the room. Your mouth slightly opened when you moved each finger with interest. Your gentle hands slid higher, rolling up the sleeve of the red henley Bucky was wearing. It was so smooth, without any sharp details, just an amazing and mind-blowing mechanism. 
“That’s so beautiful.” You mumbled in awe. Suddenly the plates under your hands moved, and a quiet whirring sound filled the room. You shot your eyes back at Bucky in shock, only to see that he was already looking at you with so much love that you almost melted. “Did you do that?” 
“It’s a new arm, not from Hydra. It reacts to my emotions. No one ever touched it without any fear.” You almost missed that last sentence, but the hurt in Bucky’s voice made you grab his face with your hands to get his whole attention.
“Listen to me, James. I’m not afraid of you. I won’t reject you. You are everything that I want. You still have the biggest and kindest heart of the guy that I met many years ago, and I’ll do everything to prove to you this.” The metal hand carefully touched your hand on the side of his face. “I love you. I love you so much, James.”
“I love you too, Doll. More than anything in this life,” Your lips crushed into each other, now sharing a more passionate and deep kiss. You slightly tilted your head, allowing Bucky to part your lips with his tongue and playfully bite you. It was almost too overwhelming, and you both were completely lost in each other until you finally needed to breathe. 
“Stay here with me, please. I don’t want you to leave.” You whined, trying to push your big and strong super soldier onto the bed. 
“I won’t leave, baby.” He chuckled, allowing you to push him back. You happily giggled and laid near him, interlacing your bodies together. 
You two were just staying in your own little bubble on your bed for what seemed like forever, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, until you finally fell asleep, feeling happy and peaceful in each other's arms.  
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star-sim · 11 months ago
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you've got to be kitten me! ☆ jungwon yang
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☆ class president! jungwon x troublemaker! fem! reader ☆ summary: jungwon yang, the stuck-up class president, had a secret: at night, he transformed into a cat. when you, the class's residential troublemaker (and one of the people that jungwon simply couldn't bring himself to understand), accidentally discovered his secret, jungwon found himself questioning his role in the school hierarchy. ☆ genre: fluff!!!! highschool! au, classmates to friends to lovers!!! very silly supernatural occurances, follows the asian school system btw, jungwon is lowk a loser and kinda assholey at the beginning ☆ warning(s)? this is very silly!! minor violence (toward animals) ☆ word count: 15.8k ☆ this isn't my usual writing style, or even my usual progression of events, but i was rlly inspired by those old shoujo animes so i tried to emulate certain features common in that genre! lmk what u think! btw it's not edited, i will go back and edit later but rn i'm j tired lol enjoy!
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There were two things that Jungwon Yang hated:
Troublemakers, and teachers that talked too much.
Unfortunately, he was now sitting in a room with both types of people.
"You know why you're here right, [Name]?" 
[Name] [Last Name]. You were the class’s relentless troublemaker. He’d known you since elementary and middle school, and you’ve always been the same. Brusque, aggressive, and a little too happy to use your fists.
Jungwon and you were in the same year, and he was the class president. Currently, the class advisor, Jungwon, and you were seated in your shared homeroom class after school. 
Simply put, you've been causing trouble for the past few weeks, whether it be arguing with teachers or other classmates. Initially, the class advisor decided that although you were causing trouble, it was barely disruptive. 
Until today. When you punched a classmate, a guy named Jiho Jang, in the face.
You leaned back in your chair, rolling your eyes. Your gaze hardened, before you let out a sigh. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."
As Class President, it was Jungwon's job to collaborate with the class advisor to enforce school rules and punish those that failed to adhere to them. His lips curled at your sheer lack of regard for anything around you. It was annoying how you broke every rule in the book, prancing around like you owned the place. Why was it so difficult to just not cause trouble?
"Jungwon, what do you think?"
"Ahem," he cleared his throat, "I think [Name] broke a rule—" you cocked a brow at him, but he ignored you, "By assaulting another student, she should be punished for it, shouldn't she?"
Being the Class President, Jungwon had learned to be well-spoken and level-headed, but sometimes, it was utterly difficult to keep a diplomatic attitude. Because although he disliked people that caused trouble, he disliked teachers that talked a lot just as much.
The class advisor went on talking for a few more minutes, using many words but truly saying nothing. Jungwon learned how to make it look like he was listening when he really wasn't, nodding his head and smiling mindlessly. 
God, just shut up, he wanted to blurt, but he caught himself.
Meanwhile, you clearly did not give a fuck. You looked at your nails, yawned, rolled your eyes, put your feet on the table. You even let out a very loud exasperated sigh. It was almost laughable the way you didn’t care, to the point that Jungwon almost caught himself letting out a laugh at your clear and abject expressiveness.
"Well, Jungwon, as class president," the advisor finally finished her long and drawn-out speech about school rules, "What do you think [Name]'s punishment should be?"
"Punishment?" It wasn't like Jungwon didn't punish people for breaking rules, but for him to punish someone directly felt so foreign to him. "Well, [Name] explained that she did what she did today in defense of another student, and there's evidence to back her up." Jungwon glanced at you, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. "So, I think we should give her lunch detention for a week."
Jungwon disliked you. No, he disliked your behavior. But as the President, he was fair. You had thorough evidence to back you up, so he decided on a punishment that reflected on your circumstances.
Except, the advisor audibly reacted. "Ooh, I don't know about that."
Jungwon's brows furrowed. That was a more than reasonable punishment. "Why not?"
"None of the teachers are available to sit in for lunch detention this or next week," the advisor explained. "What about suspension for a week?"
Suspension wasn't even remotely similar to lunch detention! 
"No!" Jungwon blurted. When he realized his outburst, Jungwon felt his ears burn. He cleared his throat. "I mean, I feel like a suspension is too extreme of a punishment."
His eyes flickered over to you. 
You better thank me, he thought.
 "If it's possible, I don't mind administrating lunch detention this week and next week, since none of the teachers are available."
The class advisor stayed silent for a few moments, before collecting her papers in a neat stack, and shoving it into her desk. "Very well, then." She turned to you. "[Name], you will have lunch detention starting tomorrow. Jungwon will be administrating it."
Then, you were dismissed. Jungwon had to stay back for a few minutes to discuss other class plans with the advisor, before leaving himself. By the time Jungwon walked out of the school building, the sun was beginning to set. However, as he walked out into the school courtyard, he spotted you.
You stood alone under a plum blossom tree. The pink-yellow flowers, now beginning to blossom as winter flew by, were sprawled across the ground, and your shoes, covered in dirt from the early-spring rain, trampled all over them with little regard. As you always did.
And, before he knew it, Jungwon was walking toward you.
It was common courtesy, at least for him, to greet whoever he saw.
"[Name]!" he called out, lips moving faster than his mind. Your head whipped over to him, quirking a brow. 
"Hi?" you looked at him with suspicion.
He couldn't blame you. Jungwon and you were on completely different spectrums of the school social hierarchy. Jungwon was well-known with a clean reputation, and you were infamous at least and a delinquent at most. It wasn't like he had never interacted with you before, but those interactions were few and far between. 
"... Did you need something?" You almost looked irritated that he was talking to you. Were you incapable of at least pretending like you cared?
"I just, " Jungwon had to admit, your gaze was intimidating. He’d heard rumors of you beating up kids that tried to talk to you, and although they were a little ridiculous, Jungwon wanted to be cautious. But, when words came to mind, his wobbly lips formed a soft, forced, smile. "I just wanted to say, I thought it was cool that you punched Jiho today."
When you only stared at him incredulously, Jungwon continued.
"Like,  It was cool that you were trying to defend someone, and I thought that Jiho really deserved it," Jungwon added. "I'm sorry about the detention thing."
He was being partially truthful. Of course, Jiho had it coming. Anyone that picked on underclassmen were just shitty, but cool to use violence against him? Maybe not. It was the first word that came to his mind.
A few silent pulses passed, and Jungwon shifted uncomfortably on his feet.
"Thanks?" you said slowly, your expression painted with confusion— because why was the Class President praising you for assaulting someone? "Um, I don't think you need to apologize."
Jungwon nodded, his fake smile still painted across his cheeks, ready to spill more courteous words at you.
"You were just doing your job— Hey, are you okay?"
A sudden fuzzy feeling at the back of Jungwon’s head pierced through him. Almost like a switch had turned off inside him, Jungwon was suddenly wobbly on his feet, his eyes looking cloudy and dazed, rolling back in his head. 
"Hey, Jungwon—" you grabbed his arm to hold him upright, your brows crashing together. "Jungwon, are you okay?"
Jungwon's knees felt weak, his head full of static. When his eyes caught a glimpse of the sky, it was a dark, gray-blue mixed with orange.
Shit, he should have kept track of the time. For someone who prided himself for how responsible he was, Jungwon had to admit that he was a little stupid right now. As Jungwon slowly slipped out of consciousness, his mind raced. No, no, no. He did not want this to happen right now, not in front of you.
You freaked out, frantically holding onto him. Why was Jungwon Yang practically fainting on you?
All of a sudden, a big puff of smoke appeared. As you coughed, using your hand to wave away the smoke, you noticed that Jungwon's shoulders were no longer in his hands. In fact, his entire person disappeared from in front of you.
When the smoke cleared, Jungwon was no longer with you. Instead, there was just a pile of his clothes before your feet.
"Jungwon?" you asked, bewildered out of your mind. "Hey, Jungwon, what the fuck just"
Meow!
Did something just meow-
Meeeeowwww!
From under the pile of clothes, a small, black cat poked its head out. Your jaw dropped, panic overtaking your system.
The cat let out another meow, before it began inching toward you. Out of sheer panic, you took many steps back, letting out a small yelp of fear.
"Stay back, cat!" you cried.
Meeeeowwww! the cat meowed at you, only inching closer to you. Each step it took toward you, you stepped back, until your back was pressed against the tree. 
Who could blame you? Jungwon Yang just disappeared into thin air before your eyes, only to leave a cat! How could you not be afraid of that cat?
However, instead of killing you (or whatever you thought would happen if the cat got too close), the cat only pawed at your shoe. It let out another meow, but this time a much softer one. It continued to paw at your shoe, meowing profusely like it was trying to tell you something.
You watched it in disbelief.
You've seen many cats before, it wasn't like seeing a cat was some rarity to you. Just... where the hell did Jungwon go?
Experimentally, you reached out to touch the cat, only for it to jump away from you. You blinked at it. You and the cat stared at each other for a few moments, before it seemed to let out a small huff and stepped toward you. You reached out to it again, and this time, it didn’t jump away. You picked up the cat, holding up to your face so that it was at eye-level.
"Hey, kitty," you gently said, a small frown painting itself on your lips. You pet its soft, black fur, your fingers gracing its ears. Looking around, you bring the cat closer to your face. "Do you know where Jungwon went?"
Meow! was all you got in response, making you frown even more. You gently rubbed your thumb over its nose and soft, black fur.
"Did you take him, kitty?" you wondered, more to yourself than anything. When the cat only meowed, you couldn't help but crack a grin. You booped its nose, before cradling it in your arms. 
You glanced at the pile of Jungwon's clothes a few inches away from you. You looked around, for any sign of him or anyone at all, before sighing to yourself. You crouched down, placing the cat down, too. You neatly folded the pile of clothes, tucking it under your arm. You picked up the cat once more, scanned the courtyard, and started your way home.
Despite what a lot of people liked to think, you were actually gentle. But only sometimes. 
There were some perks to living alone, hundreds of miles away from your family. One of them was that you could bring home whatever animal you wanted, and no one could stop you.
On your way home from school, you decided that you'd keep the cat, whom you named Kong-ee (since its nose looked like a bean). How could you not? It was so tiny, and soft, and cute. Every time you rubbed its cheek, it let out a small meow. When you kissed it on the head, it started meowing profusely. It was so adorable!
If anyone at school saw you right now, they'd think they were dreaming.
You, that one mean and rough girl, playing with a little cat? You, not screaming and fighting every three seconds? Impossible!
You cracked a grin to yourself as you thought about the events that transpired earlier. Jiho Jang was picking on some underclassman, so you gave him a little nudge. When that didn't work, you punched him square in the nose. As you unlocked the door to your apartment, you thought back to how the school administrators reacted. For some reason, it felt like they favored Jiho over you, seeming to take his side before you even explained yourself.
You placed the cat down on your bed. 
"Stay here, okay, kitty?" you gently pet Kong-ee. The cat stared at you with its large, feline eyes, and you laughed, kissing its cheek. The high-pitched meow it let out was cute, so you booped its nose again. "I'm gonna go run you a bath, 'kay?"
As you set your things down to run the bath, you suddenly remembered your Class President, Jungwon Yang.
It seemed like among everyone involved in the situation, he was the only one that was fair. You appreciated him reiterating that fact that you were, in fact, acting in defense of another student, and you could tell that he was trying to give you a gentler punishment. However, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that he disliked you. He had this weird attitude, one where he seemed to think of himself as superior to you. You could tell that he didn’t like you, probably because of your ‘troublemaker’ reputation.
Come to think of it, have you ever spoken to him? Sure, you went to the same elementary and middle school as him, but you swore that you've never really spoken to him. You still had no idea what happened to him earlier. He just randomly disappeared from the face of the earth. You still had his clothes, which you threw into the washing machine. 
You didn't think of him any more for the rest of the night.
"Kong-ee," you cooed as you poured warm water over the cat's head. For a cat, Kong-ee was very calm in water. You muttered to yourself, "So cute,"
After drying Kong-ee, you went to eat dinner, study, and at last, go to bed. 
You didn't have a bed for Kong-ee, and you didn't move a lot when you slept, so you just let the little cat lay on your chest. The warmth of the cat was like an extra blanket anyway.
Your eyes felt heavy, so you were fast asleep just minutes after your head hit the pillow.
Jungwon thought he was a pretty smart guy.
But right now, he was absolutely stupid.
He completely didn't take into account the fact that during winter, nighttime came much quicker. He was so distracted by school duties that he totally forgot his curse.
That's right. Curse.
About a week ago, Jungwon was hit with some curse, where every day, the moment that the sun began to set, he would transform into a cat. He'd only turn back to human when the sun rose the next morning. These past few days, Jungwon had been leveeing excuse after excuse about why he couldn't attend a certain event, or why his homework was done so quickly.
Yesterday, even when he should have been running home because he was literally about to transform into a cat, he decided to go talk to you instead. 
And now there he was, still in his cat form, laying on you, that one girl from class that couldn’t follow a rule to save her life.
As a cat last night, he decided that he’d escape out your window the moment you fell asleep. However, your apartment was many stories high, and he couldn’t fight off his feline instinct to snuggle up into something warm. So there he was, laying next to your sleeping face.
In his cat form, Jungwon could see your alarm clock. These days, sunrise was around 7AM, and it was 6:57. Just a few more minutes, and he should transform back into human. Hopefully, he won't wake you up.
Jungwon's plan was the moment that he transformed back into his human form, he would take his clothes (the one that you picked up and washed yesterday), and leave. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you. Hopefully, you’d forget all about this, and his life would resume.
Meanwhile, Jungwon observed your sleeping face. It was weird. You usually had a scowl on your face, but your sleeping face was completely peaceful. He’d never seen you so… calm. In fact, last night was probably the most normal he’d ever seen you. Jungwon always kind of expected you to be rough with everything, but the way you treated him as a cat was almost… kind of nice? 
With his paw, Jungwon gently touched your face, a small meow escaping his mouth. Your lunch detention started today, so he’d have to spend his next few lunches stuck in a room with you. He dreaded it. He had other things he wanted to do, even though he was the one to suggest that he administrated–
Poof!
With a puff of smoke, Jungwon transformed back into his human form. Except, he was now naked, sprawled on top of you. 
Quickly, though with wobbly feet, he stumbled over to the clean folded stack of his clothes. 
Just as he was finished putting on his pants, reaching for his shirt, Jungwon heard a shrill scream.
He whipped his head around to see you, staring at him horrified.
Oh.
Shit.
The last thing you expected was to wake up to a shirtless Jungwon Yang in your room. 
"What the fuck are you—" you, still groggy, pulled your comforter over your shoulders, suddenly feeling exposed— "Jungwon, what the fuck? What are you doing here?!"
The boy only stared at you with eyes as wide as saucers, jaw dropped. It was only when you began throwing pillows and plushies at him that he began to get defensive.
"W-Wait, [Name]!" he staggered over to you, amidst the slew of pillows being projected at him. "[Name], let me explai— Ow!"
"Get out, Jungwon!" you shouted, hurling nearly every object on your bed at him. Simply for the reason that your Class President was literally half naked in your room, your face felt warm. With anger. "Get out, get out, get out— Oof!"
Behold, Jungwon tripped over one of the pillows as he floundered over to you, leading him to fall right on top of you on your bed.
A moment of thick silence engulfed your bedroom as the two of you stared at each other. Jungwon's cheeks flared. It was absolutely over for him now. 
With a rough, but flighty, hand, you pushed his chest off of you with a scowl. 
"Get off," you grumbled, shoving him again.
"Right..." Jungwon quickly pulled away from you. He sat at the edge of your bed, his head hanging low. His entire neck and face were red with embarrassment and shame. You probably thought he was a creep, a pervert, a weirdo! Would you tell people at school? He could already hear the rumors: “Class President Jungwon Yang is a freak!” 
"Well, aren't you going to explain yourself?" you nudged him harshly with your foot. You still covered yourself with your blanket, looking at him with the most hostility that he'd ever seen from you.
"Wait a minute," you muttered to yourself. You shifted around your bed, feeling around your comforter. "Where's Kong-ee?"
Jungwon let out a nervous laugh. 
"About that...."
(Long story short, you grabbed Jungwon by his shoulders, and said, "You're lucky that you were cute as a cat, because I was considering kicking your ass.")
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Honestly, you thought Jungwon was a little weird, if not snobby. If you were asked how you felt about him a few hours ago, you would have said that he was a little self-important. But after the fiasco this morning, the only word you had to properly describe him was strange.
You supposed that you couldn't blame him. He didn't choose to be cursed into a cat, and he most definitely didn't choose for you to take him home. It was just a little embarrassing that the entire time, the cute cat that you were excited to take care of was just your Class President that probably hated you. It made you squirm a little bit.
After Jungwon gave you a (very thorough and evidence-based) explanation, you kicked him out and got ready for school as you always did.
When you got to school, you couldn't bring yourself to meet Jungwon's gaze, and luckily, it seemed like he couldn't either. You weren't shy, and you weren't the type to get actually flustered, but you felt a twinge of humiliation. 
Why, of all people, did it have to be the guy that you were spending your lunch detention with?
In fact, as you sat in lunch detention, there was a thick tension in the air. It was just you and Jungwon in an empty classroom, completely silent save for the sound of chattering and people talking from the other rooms down the hall. 
You were supposed to be doing homework, or something, but you preferred staring out the window. Meanwhile, from the corner of your eye, you noticed Jungwon sitting at the teacher desk, writing something out.
Minutes passed and you were getting bored. Normally, you were perfectly fine with getting lost in that head of yours, but for some reason, today all your thoughts were just... stale.
"Yah," you suddenly said, directed at Jungwon. The boy's head immediately shot up. "What are you doing right now?"
"Writing..." he answered curtly. His expression was awkward, very different from his usual composed face, the one that he used when he ordered people around. You tried not to show your discomfort on your face, but Jungwon was just an open book. 
"I'm bored."
He blinked at you owlishly, before narrowing his eyes. "Well, do you want a book?"
You groaned, leaning back against your chair and throwing your head back. If this was how lunch detention was going to be for the rest of the week, you'd die.
Jungwon watched you silently. He let out a sigh, before setting his pen down. He picked up the papers that he was just writing on, holding it up to his face so that he could read it. 
"Jungwoo and Sullyoon." You shot him a questioning look, and he continued. "Liz and Minji."
"What the hell are you saying?" you questioned.
Jungwon held up the papers; on them were elaborate charts with many columns. It was a list of some sort.
"It's the beginning of the month," Jungwon began. "I have to make a schedule for who's on cleaning duty."
You cocked a brow at him, making him continue.
"I might be the president, but I don't know a lot of our classmates well," the boy's feline-like eyes fluttered over to you. "I'm having trouble making the pairs. I don't know who gets along with who."
He stared at you for a few pulses, almost like he was asking you to help him. You finally huffed, rolling your eyes. You pulled a chair over to where Jungwon was sitting, plopping down. This was better than doing homework.
"All right then," you snatched the paper. You scanned the list, your nose crinkling at some of Jungwon's choices. "Why would you put Bae with Aran?"
Jungwon’s brows crashed together, just by the way you seemed so indignant about his choices. 
"I don't know," Jungwon shrugged, unable to hide the slight offense on his face. "I thought they were friends."
"Nah," you sucked in a sharp, exasperated breath. "Bae was trying to get with Aran's boyfriend, so Bae and her friends jumped her."
The way it came out so casually from your lips was almost laughable.
"Ouch."
"And why would you put Jihan and Rei together?"
"Why, are they not friends?"
"No, because Rei is friends with Liz, and Jihan hates Liz."
"Well, what about Rei and Hikaru?"
You groaned, punching Jungwon in the arm. "I'm actually gonna kick your ass."
Out of nowhere, completely out of character, Jungwon couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. There was something so laughable about you, of all people, knowing the business of your classmates, and not him, the literal president. It was almost ironic, the way you seemed to be so passionate about the ongoings of the classroom. He immediately clamped his hand over his mouth the moment you shot him a glare, but he was unable to swallow another laugh. 
"Yah, laugh again and I'll actually do it."
Jungwon let out another laugh. You grabbed his forearm, softly punching his shoulder again. The way your lips jutted out, the gloss on them shining under the light, was too much for Jungwon to handle. For someone so tough and violent, you looked so petulant, almost like a child, when you were angry. Your brows furrowing like caterpillars and the way your lips parted in offense was his favorite part.
You stood up abruptly, grabbing Jungwon's collar and pulling him up with you. Your lips pulled together in what could only be called a frown.
"You're so annoying," you grumbled, tightening your grip around his collar. "Kill yourself."
Jungwon's lips pulled upward to reveal his sharp canine teeth. 
"Sorry," he said with a smile. It was weird, the way that it was a genuine smile, as opposed to the fake one that he found himself giving out.
You rolled your eyes for the nth time that day, but you loosened your hold on his collar. When he let out another small laugh again, you raised your fist at him. It was supposed to be purely threatening, you weren't actually going to punch him. And Jungwon could tell, just by the look on your face.
But that was when the worst possible person walked into the detention room: the class advisor.
"[Name] [Last Name], are you trying to assault the Class President?!"
And that's how you got after school detention, too. Administrated by the one and only Class President himself.
"Look, [Name], I'm sorry—"
"It's whatever."
And it really was whatever.
No matter how many times Jungwon explained with the advisor and administrators, they all wouldn’t believe them. He clarified seemingly hundreds of times that you, in fact, were not trying to beat him up. Still, they wouldn’t listen. Because he was the president, they simply assumed that Jungwon was defending you to not cause trouble.
You appreciated his efforts, you really did. The way his face scrunched with frustration as he let out a deep, exasperated sigh was enough for you.
“It isn’t whatever,” Jungwon ran a hand through his dark locks, huffing. “It’s unfair.”
Now the two of you were back in that detention room. You were sitting down, bored, while Jungwon paced around. He couldn’t say that he liked you, but he couldn’t stand for something so utterly ridiculous.
"It's not a big deal," you seemed more unbothered than Jungwon was. When he looked at you with a pinched expression, you sighed. "I really mean it, it's not a big deal."
Jungwon chewed on his bottom lip pensively. "But they're not being fair."
You shrugged. "This isn't the first time that it's happened, you know."
When the boy frowned, you continued. "Sometimes, the administrative system is kinda fucked. It's just something we hafta accept."
Jungwon's nose scrunched, before he made his way over to where you were sitting. He stood at the edge of your desk before you, his fingers tapping anxiously. He studied your face: your expression was painted with sincere and utter indifference. You didn't care. But he did.
"I'm serious," you noticed the uneasiness on his face. "Just let it go, Jungwon."
"It's just..." he breathed, "I'm the President, aren't I supposed to be the one with a louder voice? Why won't they listen to me?"
You gazed at his face.
Jungwon Yang, the Class President. He’d always seemed snobby, but he was surprisingly earnest. There was an essence of naivete in him, a sort of innocence and optimism that you couldn't shake off. Jungwon was almost intense with the amount of conviction he had. 
"Well," you finally said. Under the desk, you tapped your shoe against his. "We can't do anything about it now."
You brusquely got up, moving toward the teacher desk.
"B-But—"
You plopped down on the teacher chair, kicking back. "Are you going to let me help you with your presidential duties or what? I’m bored."
You looked at him, dead serious. You gestured to the papers sprawled across the desk. 'Well, aren't you going to join me?'your expression read.
Jungwon finally exhaled.
He couldn't argue with you.
Because like him, your conviction was just as strong. You were realistic, too realistic that it was almost painful. But the intensity in your judgment was not to be challenged.
"Fine."
You never expected Jungwon's presidential duties to be so tedious. But what was surprisingly unsurprising was Jungwon's crazy amount of effort. Of course he put every ounce of his energy into perfecting the class calendar or the class seating arrangements. Although you did help him, there were a few moments of complete silence, as Jungwon sat in deep thought trying to figure out how to approach a certain issue. His zeal was almost freakish.
You let out a yawn. "Hey, what time is it?"
"Time?" Jungwon perked up, glancing out the window. Shit. It should be sunset soon. Why does he keep losing track of the time? He began shuffling his papers together, shoving them into his school bag. "Shiiiit, I have to go now."
"Man, I feel like I've never heard you swear—" Realization hit you. "Oh, right."
You helped him put his things away, but it was too late. Within seconds, a puff of smoke already engulfed the room, leaving a pile of clothes, and a tiny black cat.
You groaned. Not again.
"You’ve got to be kidding me.”
You decided that you'd take Jungwon home with you once again. As you laid on your back in your bed, you held his cat form up carefully, yet your words were harsh.
"God, you're so stupid, Jungwon," you scolded him. "Does this happen a lot? Where you don't keep track of time and just transform out of nowhere?"
Jungwon let out a small meow, hanging his furry head in shame. 
"Ughhh," you lamented. You gave the top of his head a small tap, equivalent to you hitting the back of his head if he was a human. "Do your parents know?"
Jungwon responded back with a bunch of meows, like he was trying to talk to you. 
"Whatever," you tapped his nose with your knuckle. Normally, you’d probably recoil at the thought of being this close to your Class President, but because he was a cat, you couldn’t help the desire to smother him with love. You held Jungwon's face close to yours. You rubbed your nose against his, cooing at the small meows he let out. You chuckled. "You're so much cuter as a cat, you know that right?"
Jungwon meowed, his short paws extending out to touch your face. You grinned, leaning into his touch. "You're so annoying at school. So annoying that I thought about punching you once. But I like you more as a cat."
Meeooowww!
"Have you eaten yet?" you brushed his fur back, rubbing the spot behind his ears, earning a purrrr. Jungwon shook his head. Then, you scratched his chin. "Can you even eat human food?" Jungwon shook his head again.
"Fine," you muttered, more to yourself. "I'll go buy you cat food."
The walk to the convenience store was quiet, save for your coos at Jungwon. On Jungwon's end, he was ecstatic. Each time you kissed his head or babbled back in response to his little meows, Jungwon couldn't help but feel a twinge of embarrassment. It was weird, so weird, to see you be so… gentle, and loving, and caring. It was like a flip switched the moment you stepped out of school. Weren’t you supposed to be a delinquent? Why were you so tender? He hated it, he hated it so much. But now you were peppering his face with kisses, and Jungwon couldn’t resist leaning into your warm touch.
"Which one do you want, Jungwon?" You took him through the aisles, letting his small, black paws dictate what you'd buy. 
"Are you serious? Salmon Gravy Poultry shreds?"
Jungwon meowed profusely, his paws flailing around almost offended. He couldn't control his feline cravings in his cat form! What did you expect him to choose, a Triple Dipple Mcdouble Wouble Hamburger?
You threw your head back, laughing at his cute frustration. You pinched Jungwon's nose, before going to the cash register.
That night, you sat with Jungwon wrapped in a blanket on your lap.
"You can still help me with my homework, right?" you said, petting Jungwon. 
Meoooowww! was his response (as always), but the way his feline eyes squeezes into thin crescents, his mouth turning upwards, told you his answer was a very enthusiastic "Yes!"
You and Jungwon came up with a system.
One meow was yes, two meows were no.
It was safe to say that Jungwon let out many double meows in succession.
"Maybe I was wrong," you grasped his little paws like they were his hands. "You're still annoying as a cat."
Meow!
You giggled, before turning off your lights. 
You gave Jungwon his own bed— a stack of pillows and blankets. You didn't want another incident, did you?
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Oh. My. God.
It was past 7AM. The sun was up in the sky shining its yellow face so obnoxiously through the blinds.
However.
Jungwon was still a cat.
For the past week or so, he turned back into his human form the second the sun peeked through the clouds. But why not today? He had to figure this out before you woke up, or you might freak out, and that would make him freak out—
"Oh my god, Jungwon, why are you still a cat?!"
Long story short, you took him to school with you.
If Jungwon was a human, he would have refused profusely. Curse him and his tiny body, he had no way of refusing you.
And that's how Jungwon found himself stuffed in your pocket.
"Stop fussing!" you gently smacked the back of his head. "You're gonna get us caught!"
Meeowww! was all he could say. It was strange seeing the school through such a tiny lens. It didn't help that he felt like he was on a goddamn rollercoaster because for some reason, you decided to walk with a pep in your step today. 
"Where's Jungwon? He's normally not late like this," Wonyoung Jang, the class's secretary asked just as you walked in. After a round of "I don't know's" it seemed like everyone suddenly remembered what (allegedly) happened yesterday: you assaulted him.
"Hey, [Name], did you do something to him?" someone asked. You shot them a questioning look. You ignored them, taking your seat in the back, being careful to not crush Jungwon. 
"Yah, [Name]," one of the boys in your class (was his name Haruto, or something?) came up to your desk, slamming his hands down on your desk. "What did you do to Jungwon?"
You looked around the classroom— they had to be playing with you, right? Such a ridiculous accusation based on ridiculous evidence from the most ridiculous people.
"Uh. I didn't do anything...?" you answered sincerely, confusion strewn across your face.
"Hey, let's not lie, [Name]," Jinni, the class treasurer, smiled at you. "Just tell us the truth. What happened to Jungwon?"
"I don't know," you shrugged. 
"You were the last person to see him yesterday," one of your classmates pointed out. "Something's fishy."
"Well, I don't know what you guys want me to say," you scowled. "I'm sorry, I guess? It's not really my business what goes on with him."
Before another person could join in, and most definitely escalate the situation, the bell rang, starting class.
Meanwhile, Jungwon internally frowned. Why was everyone so quick to accuse you? Sure, you got into scuffles, but they were being baseless with their accusations. All you did was walk in, and you were bombarded with questions. While class went on, he let out a soft meow, using his paw to touch your hand.
"Jungwon, what do you want?" you whisper-yelled at him.
Jungwon couldn't imagine what it would be like to have everyone see you with suspicion. When the teachers didn't believe him earlier, it was frustrating. He never considered how you felt. Your quick resignation to the flawed administrative system was upsetting.
Almost like he was trying to comfort you, another small meow came from him, his paw petting your hand.
You smiled gently, bonking him softly on the head, before turning back to the board.
As the day went by, Jungwon caught a real glimpse of what it was like to live like you.
From the pocket of your sweater, he could see the nasty glares that people sent you, simply for being in the same room as them. The way that people would scurry away from you, cower under your gaze like you were some kind of monster. Jungwon didn't know how anyone could endure that for much of their high school career. The more he watched you from your pocket, the more he could see your hard exterior cracking. You were genuine in that you didn't like people that much, but he could tell by the way that your lips twitched slightly, eyebrows knitting together for a split second as you wistfully watched groups of friends giggle together. 
As lunchtime started, you slowly made your way to the detention room. That entire hall was mostly empty, probably because no one wanted to be near where you'd be. 
You reached inside your pocket, your knuckle brushing against Jungwon's ears.
"Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish you were human right now," you said quietly to him. Jungwon meowed, rubbing his cheek against your finger. "I’m gonna be so bored."
As you cracked the detention room door open, you were met with a group of boys.
Of course you knew them. Everyone liked to lump you in with them, as "bangers," but anyone that understood who they were knew that you were far from their friend.
While you just caused trouble occasionally, they were actual delinquents.
"Hey there, [Name]," one of them grinned at you. You stopped at the doorway, narrowing your eyes at them. They never talked to you unless they wanted trouble.
"What do you want, Gyuvin?" you huffed. Jungwon from your pocket peeked his head out.
"We don't want anything from you, [Name]," another of them, Ricky Shen, took a step forward toward you. The rest of the boys followed suit, pulling you into the classroom and surrounding you.
You dug your teeth into your bottom lip. The way they were circling you certainly triggered your panic mode, but you swallowed it down, choosing to keep a hardened gaze instead. 
"Right," you nodded slowly. 
The next thing you knew, you were pushed to the ground with a yelp and thump! The way that the rest of them peered down at you condescendingly. You heard a small meow come from your pocket, so your hand shot to your pocket, your palm protectively cradling Jungwon.
"We're just bored, really," Gyuvin smiled, leaning down toward you. "Just wanted to see if this kitty bit back."
Silence enveloped the room as you glared up at them. You had to think fast. You honestly did not have the energy to put up a good fight right now, and you didn't want to. How could you evade this?
Your eyes shot around the room for some sort of escape. Unfortunately, there was only one: the door, and it was blocked by a few of the boys.
"Oh? What's that in your pocket?" It seemed like they noticed your hand clutching your pocket so firmly.
They yanked you up roughly by the arm, shoving their grubby hands into your pocket while others held your arms back.
"Hey!" you yelped, struggling against their grip. They're gonna find Jungwon!
Your worst fear came true. Gyuvin pulled out a thrashing Jungwon from your pocket. Even in his feline form, you could see the panic in his eyes. You tried to escape their grip, pulling away as hard as you could, but they overpowered you.
"What's this?" Gyuvin asked, a nasty grin on his face as he observed Jungwon.
"Give him back," you grumbled behind gritted teeth. You tried to pull away again, but it was no use. Gyuvin cocked a brow at you, before throwing Jungwon on the floor. Jungwon let out a small meow of pain, but as the boys approached him, he hissed loudly, his pupils dilated and his black fur standing up on his back. 
Ricky glanced at you, making sure that you were watching, when he landed a kick at Jungwon. 
"Jungwon!" you shouted, straining against the boys that held you back. 
"Fuck," you muttered to yourself. You didn't want to fight. Jesus Christ, the last thing you wanted to do right now was fight. But you could not stand for this. 
"Jungwon?" A smile was growing on Ricky's features. "Y'know, [Name], I thought that you murdered Mr. Class President or something. But it looks like you're obsessed with him more than anything."
Your hands balled into fists, biting your lip so hard that you could taste blood.
Assholes. That's what they all were.
It was Ricky's turn to land a kick on Jungwon.
That's when you had enough.
With all the force you could muster in your body, you stepped on the guys who held your foot. You didn't know how hard it was, but it was hard enough for them to loosen their grips on you, letting out cries. Your body was on overdrive now. The only thing you focused on was getting the fuck out of there.
"Yah, get her!"
You dashed to Jungwon, snatching him up and jamming him into your pocket. You flung the door open, but Ricky and Gyuvin grabbed both of your hands before you could make a run for it. Ricky pulled you in by the waist, so that you were flush against his chest, while Gyuvin pressed against you from the front.
"Let go of me," you protested. 
"Nuh-uh," Ricky whispered in your ear. 
"Why're you so resistant to us, [Name]?" Gyuvin rasped. "We just wanna be your friend."
Meanwhile, Jungwon, although injured, creeped out from your pocket. With them so close to you, it would be awfully easy for Jungwon to land a few claws on them. It wouldn't hurt to give them a few scratches, right?
With a loud hiss, Jungwon jumped out from your pocket, landing on Ricky's chest. With all the might that his small body could gather, Jungwon scratched the boy's chest with high-pitched shrieks. Almost immediately, Ricky stumbled backward, letting go of you. You took that opportunity to land the hardest kick you could to Gyuvin's crotch. Then, you plucked Jungwon up, and made a run for it.
You ran until you reached the girl's bathroom of the south building, far enough from Ricky and Gyuvin and their little henchmen. You took in shallow breaths, staggering into the bathroom. You held onto Jungwon tightly.
Finally, you dropped down to your knees, slumping against the wall. With a hiss, you observed the bruises on your wrists, where the boys had held you.
You took off your sweater, gently placing Jungwon on it.
He nuzzled his face against your leg, purring when you pet his head.
"Hey, Jungwon," your voice was quiet, the quietest that he'd ever heard. "You okay?"
Meow!
Your nimble fingers ran against his fur, and when you ended up on his side, Jungwon hissed. Upon closer inspection, that part of his abdomen was bruised from the earlier assault.
"I'm sorry, baby," you unconsciously used that name, your heart hurting for him. It must be horrible being so small and helpless. You tenderly caressed his face, with him leaning into your touch. "Does it hurt?"
Jungwon nodded. Although all the energy was sucked out of you from that scuffle alone, you jumped to your feet.
"The nurse's office is just down the hall," you said to him. "I'll go get some things, okay?"
Jungwon meowed to you as you left.
He'd never actually seen you fight anyone.
Were you harassed like this often? Was that why you were reported to be fighting people, when you were really just defending yourself? Why did people want to bother you so badly?
The pain in Jungwon's side was bearable, but the way you were so quick to get help was so admirable. 
In fact, all this time that he spent with you, you never looked to fight people. Instead, you were actually so eager to be helpful. How did you become known as the class's troublemaker when you actively avoided trouble? All you’ve been so far was kind to him.
Was he wrong about you?
Just as Jungwon was about to go on pondering...
Poof!
Jungwon coughed, and suddenly, he was human again.
But, like always, naked.
He scurried into one of the stalls, shutting and locking the door.
"Jungwon?" you wandered back into the bathroom, unable to spot a little black cat. "Jungwon, where'd you go?"
When a deeper, masculine voice responded, you almost jumped out of your skin. "I'm... in the stalls."
"You turned back?!"
Jungwon felt his cheeks warm up. How was he going to explain this to you?
"Why are you in the stalls?"
Jungwon cleared his throat awkwardly, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm... uh.. naked right now."
.
.
.
"Oh."
"C-Can you please go get me clothes?"
When you came back with a set of male school uniform (that you stole from some kid's locker), you threw it over the stall door, a little flustered.
Jungwon finally came out of the stalls, an awkward expression on his face.
"Did the clothes fit right?" you asked. Granted, you thought you stole from the underclassmen, so the clothes you got him might be too small. "Are they too small?"
"No," Jungwon quickly answered. "They... They fit just fine."
He stared at you. "Thanks, by the way."
You blinked at him. "For what?"
"For everything you did for me back there," Jungwon took a deep breath. He still couldn't wrap his head around how your status as the class delinquent came to be. "You were really cool."
"Cool?" You raised a brow at him, but you couldn't hide the curve in your lips. "I thought it was pretty cool how you scratched Ricky."
Jungwon snorted. "That's nothing compared to the last-minute kick to Gyuvin's crotch."
You laughed, but clamped your hand over your mouth. 
"Sorry," you murmured.
"I mean it," Jungwon was looking at you with wide eyes. He swiped his tongue over his bottom lip. "It was, like, straight out of a comic book."
"Right," you nodded slowly, the corners of your lips quirking up. You perched down next to him, pulling the first-aid kit you nicked from the nurse's office. You didn't know how Jungwon's cat-human curse translated injuries. That is, you didn't know if he'd have the same injuries he sustained as a cat in his human form. "D'you mind lifting up your shirt for me?"
Lift... up... his... shirt... for... you?
Jungwon choked on his spit, coughs spouting from his throat. As he coughed up a storm, a sharp pain in his abdomen pierced through him. He clutched his side, letting out a soft groan of pain.
"Shit," your fingers reached for the hem of his shirt, "You're bruised there, aren't you?"
You began to flip up his shirt to get a better look of his wound, but Jungwon quickly stopped you.
"W-Wait!" his cheeks flared. You gave him a weird look. "How am I going to get married if you see me shirtless?!"
.
.
.
For the Class President, Jungwon Yang was a little dumb.
You gave his head a soft smack.
"You dumbass," you chided him. "I've already seen you shirtless."
Jungwon's eyes widened into saucers. You sighed, rubbing your temples.
"Remember when I woke up to you half naked the other day?"
Oh. Right.
"And you're not going to be tainted if I see you shirtless. Stop being a baby and just let me see your injury, you loser!" With flighty eyes and red ears, Jungwon let you pull up his shirt, your fingers gently brushing against the brownish-purple bruise beginning to form on his side. He let out another hiss of pain when you pressed on it. "Does that hurt?"
"Y-Yeah."
Carefully, with the roll of bandages, you wrapped his torso. Although it was completely normal to you, Jungwon felt weird as your arms circled his waist. He could almost feel your breath on his neck. He'd been close to you like this as a cat, but it just felt different when he was a human.
You then gave him an ice pack, instructing him to hold it against his side.
"You're good at this," he complimented. You were very knowledgeable on how to treat wounds. 
"Well, I get into a lot of fights, y'know?" You flashed him a toothy grin before treating your own bruises.
Jungwon's heart dropped to his stomach. That was... really sad.
"Wait!" he blurted, reaching out to clutch your arm as you wrapped your wrists. "Let me help you with that."
"Um, okay."
Jungwon wasn't nearly as experienced as you, and his bandaging job was very clumsy. But you appreciated the effort.
When you were done, the two of you sat in a short silence.
"What do you want to do now?" he asked you.
You thought for a few moments. "I think I'm gonna jump the fence and leave."
"Huh? Why?"
You shrugged. "I refuse to go back there after what happened. Plus, lunch already ended, and I don't feel like serving after school detention today."
You'd already made up your mind, beginning to collect your things.
Jungwon blinked.
For the first time ever, he, too, didn't want to go back. Jungwon had never skipped a class in his life, let alone jumped the fence. 
"Why are you staring at me like that?" you nudged him with your foot. He looked up at you; you were ready to leave.
Jungwon breathed. This might be one of the hardest decisions of his life.
"Can I come with you?"
"If you're going to be worried, you should probably go back."
Jungwon swallowed down hard. He'd never skipped class before, and even if he really wanted to, he couldn't ignore the anxiety bubbling inside him.
"I'm not worried,” he clenched his fists. 
"Right."
After jumping the fence, you and Jungwon were free.
"Where are we going now?"
"Home."
Jungwon felt like he'd come home with you so much the past few days, to the point that he nearly memorized the way there.
Except, as he entered the doorway, your entire apartment looked different.
"Why are you so surprised?" you switched on the lights. "You've been here many times already."
"I know, but," Jungwon scanned your kitchen and living room. "Nearly every time I've been here, I was an 8-inch tall cat."
You went into your bathroom silently, leaving Jungwon to walk about your apartment. He'd never really got a good look at it. He observed the picture collage on your fridge, of you and your parents and friends, smiling so brightly. The peach soda - scented candle on your counter seemed so out of character for you, but for some reason, it made so much sense. From the arrangement of the throw pillows on your couch, to the fuzzy rug, to the pile of mail sprawled on the coffee table, your apartment felt so you.
When you emerged from your bathroom, Jungwon did a once-over. He'd seen you in your pajamas before, but for some reason, when he saw you now in your cute polka-dotted fluffy pajamas, you almost looked... cute. Someone as brooding as you in such cutesy pajamas gave him whiplash.
"What are you staring at?"
"Nothing..." but Jungwon couldn't hide the way his lips curved upwards.
You yawned. "I'm gonna take a nap."
"Okay."
.
.
.
"Can I join you?"
Jungwon had expected you to throw him a pillow and blanket on the floor, similar to what you did with him as a cat. But you didn't.
You patted the spot next to you on your bed, looking at him expectantly.
And that's how Jungwon found himself laying next to you like a sardine.
He felt like a child the way his hands felt clammy, feeling a wave of anxiety with each movement you had. In his defense, he'd never slept in the same bed with a girl. In fact, he couldn't remember a time where he was as close to a girl as he was right now.
"If you're uncomfortable, you can-"
"No, I'm okay!"
He felt your eyes on him for a few moments, before you sighed. You jammed a pillow between the two of you, creating a border of some sort.
"Is that better?"
Jungwon didn't know why, but he felt a twinge of disappointment.
"... Yeah."
The next few minutes were full of silence. Jungwon laid still like a statue. From the corner of his eye, he could see you snuggling up with a plushie, almost kind of like how you snuggled up with him when he was a cat.
An unconscious frown spread itself on his cheeks. 
He.... also wanted to be snuggled like that. Was it weird that he craved that closeness to you? He reasoned to himself that he was just used to it, since he’d spent the majority of his time with you as a cat. 
In a moment of pure boldness, Jungwon snatched the pillow between you and him away, throwing it on the floor.
You sent him a confused look. "Hey there."
Jungwon's eyes were shaky, yet they trained on the plushie you had in your arms. Then he looked at your face, then back at the plushie, then back at your face.
"You need something, Jungwon?" you asked, almost concerned.
"I— Uhm," his eyes kept flickering from your face to the plushie. At a certain point, he was glued to the plushie, unable to hide the pout formed on his lips.
For someone who was good at pretending to smile, he wore his feelings on his face so clearly, you rolled your eyes.
"You're so annoying," you muttered under your breath. You chucked the plushie in your arms to the side. You then threw your arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer. Jungwon let out a surprised yelp, but you ignored him. You wrapped your arms around his torso, careful not to touch his bruised abdomen. You pressed your cheek against his shoulder, the faint scent of his cologne filling your senses. "Is this better?"
Jungwon audibly gulped, but he eased into the feeling of your arms around him. "Y-Yeah..."
You were so close! He could smell the faint scent of your perfume, mixed with the scent of fresh laundry. You snuggled up against him, the sound of your soft breaths, which were slowing down into a steady rhythm, filling his ears. 
Jungwon took a deep breath, and melted into the warmth that was your arms. 
He wouldn’t mind doing this many more times, he thought. Would he?
And soon, he drifted off into dreamland, too.
Your eyes fluttered open a few hours later. Your bed was usually warm, but this time, it was very warm. So warm that you wanted to melt into it, completely and utterly disarmed by the comfort that you felt.
What time is it? was the first thing you thought.
The second thing you realized was that you could hear a heartbeat in your ears. Not your heartbeat, but the heartbeat of someone else. In fact, you were laying on someone's chest. 
Jungwon's chest.
There the two of you were, sprawled out on your bed. Jungwon gently held your head against his chest, his other arm loosely wrapped around your shoulders, while your arms wrapped around his torso. Your legs were tangled. You didn't remember falling asleep like this, but it wasn't like you minded the position. You simply sunk back into him, basking in the warmth.
But Jungwon did.
As his eyes shot open, he immediately noticed the current position you and him were in. You felt him tense under you, his arms beginning to curl back into himself. But the warmth that he provided as your personal human heater was just too good, so you grabbed his arms, putting them back into the position they were holding you in.
"It's cold, Jungwon," you muttered, snuggling up against him.
“[N-Name],” Jungwon’s voice came out soft. He’d just woken up mere minutes ago, yet he was wide awake. There was a weird pounding in his chest that he couldn’t explain, one that thrummed so loud that he could hear it in his ears. Your touch felt like burns on his skin, an unforgiving scalding boil, hot to the touch. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Why was he suddenly feeling this way? Was he ill? Was he going to transform into a cat?
“[Name],” Jungwon whispered again, a little louder. His words got caught in his throat the moment he said it, wanting to swallow it the moment they left his lips. He didn’t know what he would say, but he just said your name to hear it on his tongue. 
“What?” you groaned, eyes gently shut but words lazily spoken.
Jungwon peered down at you. His ears felt like they were going to melt off his head. His skin seared with that scorching type of sting, the one that ached. 
“Nothing,” he murmured, his chest rising and falling with each soft breath you took. Soon, your breathing stilled, and Jungwon was sure that you’d fallen asleep completely.
He observed 
It was weird. He'd seen you up close like this before as a cat, but now that he was human-sized, it somehow felt so much more... intimate. Jungwon found himself digging his teeth into his bottom lip as he watched you sleep. He couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away from you.
Plunk!
Hey, what was that sound?
Plunk!
Jungwon's head shot to your bedroom window. Then, he heard yelling outside.
As he got up to check out the commotion, you tugged on him.
"I already told you..." you murmured dreamily. "It's cold."
Jungwon narrowed his eyes. "But, what's going on outside-"
"Ricky and Gyuvin," you answered, this time tightening your hold on the boy. "They like to... torment me... sometimes."
Just sometimes? Jungwon thought. Really, how often were you getting harassed like this?
Before Jungwon could answer, you were fast asleep again. From then on, Jungwon refused to move, not wanting to disturb your peaceful slumber.
But, there was one thing that he took heavy note of.
First, it was 7PM. It was completely dark outside by now, the blue-gray shrouded with clouds, only the yellow moon illuminating the sky.
And second, that he was still human.
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Ever since that day, Jungwon hadn't turned into a cat even once.
However, while one phenomenon disappeared, another one emerged.
Jungwon's insanity.
Jungwon considered himself one of the, if not the most, sane person in every classroom. But right now, insanity was spiraling onto him like no other.
Weeks passed, and Jungwon couldn't shake off that tender, yet explosive, feeling he got when he was close to you.
After your week of detention was lifted, you and him slowly saw each other less and less. He couldn't help but feel disappointment when he locked up the detention room one last time, saying his goodbye to you.
You two were still in the same class, still saw each other everyday, but he didn't get to speak with you. 
And that was when Jungwon resorted to observing you.
He was naturally observant, but all this time, Jungwon had been observing the bigger picture. 
It started off with watching the doorway in the morning, praying that every person that passed was you. Then, Jungwon found himself watching you every passing period. Who did you talk to? Who tried to talk to you? What expression did you wear on your face?
Then, Jungwon took to roaming the school perimeter, under the excuse that he was just "patrolling the school for any trouble," when really, he was hoping that he'd run into you. This extended to after school. On the occasions that he actually ran into you, you'd shoot him a sly grin, making cat hands or ears over your head. He knew that you were doing that to tease him about his cat days, but his cheeks felt warm for another reason.
Have you always been that pretty? Of course, you'd always been cute, but did you always glow like that? Was Jungwon always into girls that looked like they could kick his ass? Why did the intimidating look on your face make his heart race?
Jungwon was in denial for a while, until he was at a Class Council meeting, when one of the members asked him casually, "Hey, what actually happened between you and [Name]?"
In retrospect, they were clearly referring to that one time you "assaulted" him. That incident remained shrouded in mystery for a while, as Jungwon refused to talk about it.
However, Jungwon jerked up at that question, his face painted with a look that could only be described as “constipated” at the sound of your name. Did someone find out about his cat transformation curse, and how you took care of him in that state? No, that would be too specific.
"Jungwon?"
"Y-Yes!"
Wonyoung and Jini shared a look, before a grin spread on their faces. 
"You make it seem like you guys were kissing, or something. We’re just curious about what actually happened."
A weird noise came out of Jungwon's throat, his eyes wide like saucers.
Kiss...ing?
"Oh my god, don't tell me you actually kissed [Name]--"
"I didn't!"
And he was telling the truth. But the bright, red color on his face betrayed him. The Council teased him all about it, even going so far as patting him on the back for "scoring a baddie" (Wonyoung's words, not his). He denied it, he denied it with his full chest. He held his head high, nose pointed to the sky, denying it like his life depended on it. 
But Jungwon couldn't help the weird feeling of pride that swelled in his chest. He liked the thought of kissing you, and in a weird, twisted way, he liked the way that people thought that you and him were together. Of course, he gave all of them a scolding for jumping to conclusions, but later in the day, when he was alone and reflected on the day, his cheeks began to hurt.
And that marked his actual descent into madness.
You began showing up in his dreams, smiling at him with those pretty, glossy lips, which he hadn't noticed until now. The grins you’d flash him across the room when he passed by, and the way you’d make cat hands or ears over your head whenever you saw him to tease him, made him feel weird. Gosh, did you have to be so pretty? Jungwon couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. He craved your warmth, the warmth you gave him when you held him to your chest, the warmth you gave him when you hugged and called him annoying. Was it weird that he liked the way you could beat him up?
Jungwon was pulled out of his thoughts when his phone dinged.
Today was another mundane day, where he spent his lunch period in the Council room, looking through the schedule.
It was the Class Council group chat.
wonyoung jang: my friend said something fishy is going on in building b
wonyoung jang: someone go check it out?
jini choi: can't, i'm in a meeting rn
jini choi: jinwoo?
wonyoung jang: forget it he never checks the gc
wonyoung jang: jungwon?
Jungwon was already on it.
It wasn't uncommon for people to cause problems during lunch. In fact, that seemed to be the time when most people created the most commotion—
Oh my god, it was you.
When he rounded the corner, there you were. You had your arms crossed over your chest, backed up against a locker. The ones cornering you? Ricky, Gyuvin, and their lackeys.
"You're getting boring, yeah [Name]?" Ricky grinned. "I don't see you fighting back as much."
You shrugged, but you were clearly tense, narrowing your eyes. "I don't want to deal with you guys anymore."
Ricky slowly buttoned his shirt, revealing scars. Scars from scratchmarks. The same scars that Jungwon gave him.
"You see this?" his gaze hardened. "You and your goddamn vermin gave this to me.'
You looked at him incredulously, but you couldn't hide the small curve in your lip. "Okay. And?"
Ricky slammed his fist against the metal locker next to your head, making a loud clang! You cried out in surprise, jolting in place. Heck, even Jungwon was startled, quietly jumping out his skin for a second.
"You think this is funny?" Ricky slammed his fist again, relishing in the way you squeezed your eyes shut in sheer bewilderment. "You think you can get away with this shit?"
Your eyes darted around. Clearly, you were out-numbered and overpowered. Yet, you wouldn't go down without a fight.
"Yeah, I do," you muttered. "It was funny, the way you screamed like a girl, Ricky."
Ricky snatched your face, his hand clutching your chin. He leaned in close to you, so close that you felt his breath on your face. 
"You bitch."
Meanwhile, Jungwon's heart raced in his chest.
It was getting out of hand: how many people chose to bother you. You were honestly just minding your business, why did people want to pester you so much? He needed to step in before things escalated. And get you the fuck out of there.
Jungwon's body moved quicker than his mind. 
"Hey!" he shouted, making his presence known. Everyone's head whipped over to him. Jungwon gulped as his mind went into overdrive trying to figure out what to say. Curse himself, why did he jump into this without thinking? What a genius.
"Look who it is," Gyuvin slyly stepped forward. "[Name]'s little crush."
If Jungwon wasn't about to be jumped, he would have turned red at that little comment. He was too focused on the fact that you were in possible danger. 
"Yanno, Mr. Class President," Gyuvin paced toward him, his brows raised to his forehead. "[Name] here named her cat after you. Isn't it weird how she's obsessed with you?"
Your eyes were wide like saucers, sending him warning signals. 
'You need to leave,' your eyes read, but Jungwon ignored it. This entire time, he pranced around as the Class President, feeling righteous, yet he never even tried to empathize with someone like you. How could he claim his title but be so clearly blinded by dumb prejudice?
Gyuvin gestured for Jungwon to come closer, pulling him so that he was right in front of you, face-to-face.
"This one causes a lot of trouble, doesn't she?" Gyuvin rasped. "Parading around like she's some kind of queen, when really she's just a little cunt."
"I know you're angry, Jungwon," Ricky added, motioning to you. "Let your anger out, won't you?"
They were right about him being angry. But not at you, not at the world, not at whatever internal conflict he had. 
At them.
Jungwon's hands balled into fists.
"You guys are out of your fuckin' minds," he grumbled, his shoulders shaking. Before they could respond, Jungwon raised his fist, and swung in as hard as he could at Gyuvin, square in the jaw. Immediately, the rest of their lackeys stumbled back, screaming out their leader's name.
This was your opportunity to fight back. Kicking off the wall, you landed a kick at Ricky in the stomach, pushing him to the ground. "Your breath stinks, by the way."
With your back turned, the next thing you heard was a yelp of pain.
Shit, Jungwon!
You yelled his name.
Jungwon, to your knowledge, was not a fighter. He didn't fight people daily, he wasn't violent, he didn't tell people that he'd "kick their asses" like you did. For goodness's sake, he was the Class President. He'd never even had a missing assignment, he was most definitely not going to be able to fight back, let alone land a punch—
But instead of seeing the poor guy on the floor with everyone else beating the crap out of him, you saw the opposite. Jungwon, with only a minute cut on his cheek and bruised knuckles, stood tall, while the rest of the guys (including Gyuvin) groaned on the floor.
How did he..?
Jungwon snatched your hand. Before you could process what the hell just happened, he started profusely asking you if you were okay, if you were hurt. Right in the middle of a whole bunch of dudes groaning in pain.
You squeezed his hand, before running off, pulling him with you.
"You're so annoying, Jungwon!" you scolded him as you wrapped his knuckles in the nurse's office. "Why would you jump into a fight like that—"
"You were in trouble," was all he said solemnly. 
"So what?!" You looked at him incredulously. "You're insane. You're the President, why would you—"
As you chided him, Jungwon found it difficult to focus. Maybe it was the adrenaline still coursing through his veins, or the way that you were so close to him. As he sat on the counter, you found your place in between his legs, dabbing rubbing alcohol on the cut on his cheek. It stung, but he only dug his teeth into his bottom lip, instead gluing his eyes to the way your lips moved.
"Jungwon, are you even listening to me?!"
"Yeah, yeah."
You smacked his shoulder. "And you're still recovering from an injury from a few weeks ago, what would you do if they tried to kick you in the stomach again?!" You flicked his forehead.
Jungwon couldn't help the way he felt his lips lifting up. The way you worried about him made his chest feel warm, mindlessly nodding along and agreeing with every word you said.
"You know what?!" you huffed, a hand coming up to rub your temples. "How the hell did you beat them up so quickly back there?! That— That was unreal."
Jungwon opened his mouth to answer, but you cut him off. "— Do you also have some curse that makes you unnecessarily ripped all of a sudden?"
Your hand came up to squeeze his bicep. Although it was hard, especially when he flexed it for you with a grin, revealing his toned arms, it still didn't explain how the hell he was so strong.
"I didn't tell you?" Jungwon smiled. "I used to do Taekwondo."
"You did not tell me. I don't think there was ever a conversation where that came up—"
Jungwon threw his head back, letting a laugh tumble from his lips. "Well, now you know."
It must have been something in the air, because Jungwon would not have done this any other time, but he slithered his arm around your waist as you cupped his cheek gently, fixing up the cut on his face. His hand dangled at your hip, his fingertips brushing up against your thigh. Your eye fluttered over to it briefly, but you didn't seem bothered. In fact, you actually leaned in closer, your other hand sliding up his chest to grip his shoulder for stability. As he was sitting and you were standing, his head angled up at you. The way you gaze down at him, your expression rested, made him almost feel light-headed.
"What if they spread rumors about you, Jungwon?" you asked quietly.
"I wouldn't care," he answered simply.
"But you're the President," your brows knitted together. 
"So what?" Jungwon breathed. "Should the President be concerned over silly rumors?"
"Won't people be suspicious if it suddenly came out that Jungwon Yang beat up a few guys?"
If you asked Jungwon this a few weeks ago, he'd be worried out of his mind. He'd be afraid of his reputation being ruined, he'd be afraid of what others thought of him. But for some reason, it didn't concern him that much anymore.
"That's their problem, not mine."
Just as those words left his lips, his phone began to blow up. He glanced at it briefly; it was probably the groupchat or something, but as it continued to ding, you motioned to it.
"You might want to check that out."
So he did.
wonyoung jang: jungwon we need you right now
wonyoung jang: it's BAD BAD
wonyoung jang: everyone's saying you jumped ricky and gyuvin
jini choi: mr president we need you NOWW
You peeked over his shoulder, only seeing the last message.
"You should go, Jungwon."
"I don't want to."
You gave him a look.
"Suddenly so rebellious?" you nudged his shoulder, the corner of your lip raising. "C'mon, you have duties."
Begrudgingly, Jungwon up and left the nurse's office, sending you the brightest smile he could muster. 
The moment Jungwon stepped into the classroom, he was bombarded– no, completely besieged– with questions. The mere amount of people hounding him with questions was so much, that all their words blended together.
“Okay, okay!” he shouted, putting his hands out in front of him. “One at a time, Jesus Christ.”
They called for a very "needed class discussion."
Long story short, Jungwon thought that everyone was kind of dumb. The way they were all concerned about whether or not he actually beat up Ricky and Gyuvin was ridiculous. Although Jungwon was honestly tired, he wanted to be smart with his words. He didn't want to scare them, did he?
"No comment."
"I don't feel like talking about it."
"I have nothing to add to that."
He found himself crinkling his nose a little too often as those words came out of his lips more times than he could count.
"Jungwon," some girl in the back of the class spoke up. "I heard rumors that you and [Name] are dating. Is that true?"
The class erupted with even more talking, people from other classes even lining the doorway to listen to it. The way that lunch should have ended a long time ago, but the teachers let this continue because they were also nosy and wanted to know. Did it really matter that much?
"Man, I don't know how I feel about that."
"But Jungwon's too good for her."
"[Name]? Of all people?"
They didn't even know you, how could they come to that conclusion if they never even spoke to you?
"But [Name]'s a bitch!"
"How is our Class President dating a bully?"
Jungwon's lips pressed together to form a thin line as thin as paper. He'd always thought that he'd been good at controlling his emotions, but the anger that was threatening to spill out of his throat was rising to a boil, bubbling to the point that if he didn't do something about it now, he'd absolutely implode.
"That's enough," he said, too quiet for anyone to hear. He sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes narrowing, behind Jungwon slammed his hand on the front table. "That's enough!"
The room went silent.
He took a deep breath, trying his hardest to contain his feelings. 
"I don't see the relationship between my love life and the class's affairs," he said simply. "We are having a class discussion, and in our class discussions, we discuss problems relating to the class. In what way is the person I'm romantically interested in a problem that relates to the class?"
Silence.
Jungwon looked around with a cocked brow, expecting an answer.
Silence.
Jungwon narrowed his eyes. 
He was tired.
As he pushed past people crowded at the door, Jungwon turned over his shoulder.
"By the way, I think [Name] is pretty cool. You guys should talk to her some time, maybe you'd be happier if you did."
And then he left.
Jungwon expected to find you back in the nurse's office, but he found you down the hall, your arms crossed over your chest, leaning against the wall.
He rushed to you, clutching your hands.
"[Name]," he said, "Hi."
You raised your brow at him, the corner of your lip lifting. "I'm pretty cool, aren't I?"
"Shut up," Jungwon muttered under his breath, but his eyes stayed stuck on you. He squeezed your hands. "Everyone's so annoying."
"I know," you squeezed his hand back. "You were cool back there, Jungwon."
Jungwon's cheeks warmed up at that compliment. Now that he realized that way your hands were in his, he felt his face prickle with heat. "Thanks..."
Somehow, your gaze felt too much for him to take. Jungwon avoided your eyes, choosing to look down at the floor. He felt your hand gently grasp his jaw, before forcing him to look at you.
"I really mean it," you said. "You're really the coolest. It's almost scary."
Jungwon opened his mouth to respond, but before he did...
Poof!
But this time, it wasn’t him that turned into a cat.
It was you.
"Not again!"
Jungwon seemed like a cat person. And he most definitely was one. 
The moment that your cat form appeared at his feet, he scooped you up. Taking off his uniform blazer, he carefully wrapped you in it, before (to your complete and utter surprise) he jumped the fence, skipping class.
You meowed profusely. You had no idea how Jungwon did it; as words tumbled out of your mouth, they only came out as meows, and when you tried to clutch his forearm, all you could do was curse your annoyingly small paws.
If it weren't for your feline form, you'd be scolding him, chiding him for skipping class.
He was silent until the two of you reached a stoplight, when he took you out of the wrap that was his blazer. With his thumb, gently rubbed the spot behind your ears. Without even realizing it, you purred, leaning into his touch as if to say,"More!"
Jungwon chuckled, and you could feel his chest rumbling. 
How embarrassing! How did he do this everyday for nearly a week and not go completely insane?! When he began rubbing your nose, laughing at the way that you fussed, Jungwon softly squeezed your stomach.
"It's my turn to take care of you, [Name]," he murmured, holding your feline face up to his. From your much smaller form, you could see every detail of his face— from the curve of his eyes, to the blemishes on his nose, to the divots in his half-chapped lips. You'd be lying if you didn't say that Jungwon had a nice face. You brought your paw up to his cheek, to which he chuckled again. He took your paw with his hand, before nuzzling his cheek into it.
When Jungwon finally arrived at his apartment, your question (where were his parents?) from weeks ago was finally answered: he lived away from them.
"Just like you," he whispered against your fur, rubbing your head as he flicked the lights on.
The next thing you knew, you were being bathed in warm, soapy water, as strawberry-scented bubbles filled the little bathtub. Jungwon dried you with his softest towel, and then you were eating the cat-equivalent of a five course meal.
"I feed the stray cats sometimes," he explained to you when your feline eyes gazed at him questioningly.
Was it normal for you to be so tired? You usually weren't this sleepy at this time in the day, yet you were. As you laid on Jungwon's lap, purring at the way his fingers ran through your fur, your eyes felt heavy.
It wouldn't hurt to doze off, right? After all, you were with Jungwon.
Jungwon tucked you into his bed, placing you on a pillow before covering you with a small blanket. He booped your nose.
Although he'd willingly skipped class today, he still had his own responsibilities that he'd like to attend to. He looked over all his homework, filing through all his important Presidential duties, and jamming in all the extra studying that was necessary. 
It was a quiet few hours for him. Every hour, or so, he'd go to check on you. Each time he did, you were soundly sleeping. Since you transformed into a cat during the day, there was no telling when or how you'd transform back. He wondered how you'd react when you transformed back. Would you be bashful about it? Or, like always, would you call him annoying, and tell him that he spread his "disease" to you? Jungwon's lips curved at the thought of that. You were cute as a cat, but he thought you were cuter as a human, obviously. 
As he worked away, Jungwon didn't notice the way the sun slowly sank into the horizon, its yellow face eventually disappearing. He was deep into focus when he heard a crash, and a small yelp. Coming from his room.
"Jungwon?" your voice called.
Immediately, he dropped his pen, dashing straight to his room. You were awake now, he thought. Maybe he could fit in a nice conversation with you, get closer to you, but that might be difficult when you were so pretty—
Oh.
The moment that Jungwon busted his bedroom door, he really didn't know what he expected.
But he definitely didn't expect to see you.
Naked, sprawled on his bed.
!!!
You let out a shrill scream. Jungwon's face flared with heat, immediately turning around. He buried his face in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. 
"S-Sorry!"
He felt like he could have increased the global warming rate and melted multiple ice-caps just by the sheer amount of heat radiating off of his face. It was so bad that his eyes began to water from pure embarrassment. 
Jungwon must be dying, he thought. He might actually drop dead now.
He heard rustling, before your voice, much quieter than he'd ever heard it, murmured, "You can look now..."
Jungwon turned around, but he still kept his eyes shut. If he looked you in the eye now, he'd probably combust on the spot. Slowly, his eyes peeled open, to reveal you, just as embarrassed as him, curled up on his bed, with his blankets wrapped around you.
"Sorry," you muttered, your eyes glued to the floor, too shy to meet his. Your bottom lip jutted out to form a pout, your brows softly furrowing.
Jungwon waved his hands in front of him profusely. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Y-You have nothing to apologize for."
"Right."
.
.
.
"Jungwon, I'm naked—"
He was already on it. Your school clothes were still in the washer, so Jungwon dug through his closet, throwing you one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. He let you do your business, and just when Jungwon thought that all his embarrassment was gone, he saw you in his clothes.
Shit.
Jungwon clamped his hand over his mouth, unable to hide the growing smile on his cheeks.
You looked so... cute.
"Yah," you kicked him with your foot, still buried in his blankets. He could see the way your eyes were shifty, still avoiding his. "What're you laughing at?"
"Nothing," was all Jungwon said, but a smile was apparent in his voice.
"Stop laughing!" you threw a pillow at him.
This scene has happened before.
Jungwon laughed, his eyes pressing into thin crescents as his sharp teeth came into view. You dug your teeth into your bottom lip. Why did he have to look pretty when he laughed?
You threw another pillow at him. Jungwon snatched the pillow off the floor, charging toward you. You let another shrill shriek escape your lips when he managed to land a hit on you with the pillow.
"Jungwon!" you cried, as he grabbed another pillow, hitting you on the top of your head. You struggled for another soft and plush weapon to use against your assailant, but alas, he was much faster and stronger than you, "Jungw— Hey!"
"You started it!" He was kneeling at the edge of the bed, when he reached for yet another one of his pillows. When he did this, Jungwon had to climb onto the bed entirely. You hit his hand away from his target pillow.
"You already have two pillows!" you nudged him with your foot. "Don't be unfair."
"All's fair in love and war," Jungwon said simply.
You stared at him incredulously, before you bursted out laughing. Jungwon's ears burned, but he didn't budge.
"Okay, you nerd." With that, you seized the pillow that he was so desperately trying to obtain, only for Jungwon to try to rob you of it. For the next few minutes, you and Jungwon struggled over the pillow, ripping it out of each other's hands.
"Let go!" you cried.
"Absolutely not!"
It was going just fine. A friendly pillow fight. Right?
Except, Jungwon miscalculated one of his movements, causing him to launch himself forward. He landed right on top of you, his hands right beside your head with his arms caging you below him.
Oh.
Oh.
With his dark locks falling over his face, Jungwon gazed down at you with wide eyes. The way you looked back up at him, eyes glittery and lips parted, your breath heavy from the earlier play-fighting, made his heart race. Why were your lips so glossy under the light? Why did his bed fit you so perfectly? Why did you look so pretty when you were in his clothes in his bed in his arms? Why did he want to lean in and—
On your end, your heart was palpitating just as much as Jungwon's was. But of course, you didn't know that.
The lamp next to his bed casted a dim, orange light, and even under the shadow, Jungwon's honey tan skin glowed. 
There was something about the way his toned arms dangled over your head, or the way you could see his collarbones peeking out of his shirt, or the way that his neck just looked so goddamn kissable right now—
The two of you could have been staring into each other's eyes for minutes or for hours, there really wouldn't have been a difference.
"Uh, sorry," Jungwon finally said, the embarrassment finally settling in. He began to maneuver off of you, the warmth of your touch being ripped away from him.
No! You didn't want him to get off of you! You wanted him to be close to you!
You grabbed his wrist, yanking him down. Instead of caging you, Jungwon instead was now met with a faceful of your chest, much to his embarrassment.
"[Name]...!" he spluttered, but you didn't care. You pressed your hand on his back, making the rest of his body relax into yours, before you ran your hands through his hair.
"I'm tired," you muttered in his ear. "I want to sleep."
"Y-You just woke up..!" his voice was muffled by your chest and shoulder.
"I don't care." Your fingers stopped in his hair, before you reached for his lamp, switching it off. "We're sleeping."
All Jungwon could do was sigh, admitting defeat to you. He relaxed into your body, taking in your sweet scent, though with reddened cheeks. He thanked the newfound darkness for concealing the color of his face. Realizing that you were no longer playing with his hair, Jungwon clutched your hand, dragging it and plopping it right on top of his head.
"Play with my hair, [Name]."
"You're annoying," you whispered, but you complied. You were so warm, and soft, and calming. Jungwon felt all his worries melt away, which was why he couldn't help but nuzzle his face into your chest. You cocked a brow at him, pausing to flick his forehead. "Okay, you perv."
Jungwon shot up. "I'm not a—!"
You pushed his head down back into your chest, your other arm coming up to hold him in place. "Go back to sleep."
And who was he to refuse you?
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Jungwon and you saw each other quite often after that. In passing, you'd always shoot him that signature smile, accompanied by a punch on the shoulder, or a light slap on the arm, or even a soft shove. Some days, you'd drop by the Council room and say hi to him, maybe even look over his Presidential papers. You got suspicious looks whenever you did, but the glare of the class's residential troublemaker and the Class President was enough to send people spiraling.
Day by day, Jungwon's feelings grew for you. Exponentially. It could be little things, like how you'd send him questioning looks when someone said something questionable, or the way that you'd scrunch your nose whenever he purposefully stared at you. But it was also the other moments outside of school that he valued, like when he found you feeding a few stray cats, or when he saw at the grocery store stocking up on cat food (just in case you or him turned into a cat again, your words not his). 
Little did he know, you, too, blossomed a crush. You didn't talk to many people, so Jungwon was special. You liked that he was diligent and hard-working, and his snobbery wasn't really existent. He was one of, if not the only, person that you chose to tolerate. He was cute, someone that you wouldn't mind being around.
It's been long known to Jungwon that he wasn't always as smart as he thought he was. But sometimes he thought he was plain stupid.
“I like you,” Jungwon blurted one day after school, as you helped him look over his papers. The moment that those words left his mouth, Jungwon wanted to eat them. 
As spring came rolling into your lives, the days were getting longer. Sunlight illuminated the empty classroom, casting a delicate shadow on your features. 
Jungwon didn't know what came over him, what spirit decided to possess him in that moment.
After a few moments, you said, "Okay."
.
.
.
Okay?
Just.
Okay?
Jungwon squeezed his eyes shut as his heart plummeted to his stomach. Of course he had no chance with you. How could he? Was he getting ahead of himself? Had he been misinterpreting your relationship this entire time?
Just as embarrassment crashed down on Jungwon, you clicked your tongue.
"Can you stop panicking?" you asked frankly. When you noticed his very red expression, you huffed. "I didn't reject you, if that's what you're thinking—" you pinched your nose-bridge— "Just, let me think of a response."
That only made Jungwon sink deeper into his seat. Oh, he was so naive! What would happen after this? He didn't want to lose his friendship with you, not at all! Maybe he should die, maybe the earth should just open up right now and eat him alive—
“Jungwon,” you finally said. “I think you’re really cute.”
Jungwon held his breath.
“But,” you continued. “This is a little fast for me.”
As catastrophe rained down on his shoulders, you stifled a giggle.
Setting down your pen, you rested your face on your fist, gazing over at the boy.
Gently, as if he were a piece of glass, your fingers clutched his chin, moving his face to look at you. Jungwon's eyelids fell shut at your touch. Biting back a grin, you leaned in toward him. Experimentally, you came just close enough for Jungwon to feel your breath against his lips, ghosting you lips over his. You watched the way his brows knitted together, his lips wobbling.
Cute.
You pressed one kiss on his right eyelid. You felt his shoulders tense under you, but you only smiled. You pressed another kiss on his left eyelid. Before he could react, you pulled away.
“Take me out on a date first, yeah?” there was a smile in your voice.
Jungwon stood frozen in his spot, before his eyes shot open.
Date?
“And bring me flowers,” there was a teasing, but also dreamy, tone in your voice. “I like roses.”
The way Jungwon just stared at you with widened, glossy eyes, dumbfounded beyond words made you throw your head back, laughter bubbling from your chest.
You leaned in toward him again, collecting his hands in yours.
“I like sweets, but anything with too much chocolate makes me sick,” you leaned in closer. “I’m free every day, since none of the teachers are on my dick anymore.”
You put your finger to your lip in thought. “If you don’t want to go anywhere, we can come over to my house and nap. I like being hugged and I get cold easily.”
“W-Wait, what?!”
Jungwon felt so much blood rush to his face, he almost fainted.
"I like you, too," you said simply, as if it were just another fact and not one of the most ground-breaking discoveries of Jungwon's life! "I want you to take me out on a date."
Jungwon blinked.
You got up from your chair, yawning and stretching. Then, you began packing up your things.
"I have to go now," you flashed him a grin. "I'm tired."
As you made your way to the door, Jungwon finally realized where he was, and what the hell was happening: you, his crush, liked him back, and this was his chance.
"W-Wait!" Jungwon blurted, his hand jerking out to grab your wrist. Almost like you were hoping for him to do that, you turned over your shoulder, humming.
"This Saturday!" Jungwon gulped down those dumb words that threatened to spill out his mouth, the ones that would make him look even more like a fool. "Go out with me this Saturday, 5PM."
You only smiled. "Okay. Saturday, 5PM. Got it."
The two of you stood like that for what felt like hours. Jungwon darted his tongue out to swipe over his bottom lip. He wanted to say something to you, but he simply couldn't bring himself to utter words.
"You won't turn into a cat, on me, yeah?" you teased him, the corner of your lip raising up. Oh, how much he wanted to kiss them. How would your hand fit in his? What should he wear? Where would you go?
"No..." Jungwon answered, too dazed. "I won't."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
You slipped out of his grasp, making your way out of the room. Though, your footsteps as they faded away sounded more excited than usual.
Jungwon was left there in the classroom, alone. He blinked a few more times, letting a few more pulses pass, before his face broke out with a smile.
There he stood, hiding his face in his palms. 
Oh, he couldn't wait until Saturday.
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likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! <3
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l0vergirlsw0rld · 3 months ago
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changes
dbf!loganxgrown!reader
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a/n: my first resquest! i hope you like it <3 send me more requests pls pls!
wc:2.5k
FLUFF, AGE GAP, TABOO RELATIONSHIP
summary: you've had enough of the tension between you and Logan, your dad's best friend, so you decided to go confront him about it.
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It’s funny how the past creeps up on you. One minute, you’re just a kid with scraped knees and big dreams, and the next, you’re staring down the barrel of decisions you swore you’d never make. But life’s got a way of pushing you into corners, and before you know it, you’re crossing lines you didn’t even know were there.
Logan’s always been a fixture in my life, like the smell of cigar smoke that clings to the walls long after the flame’s been snuffed out. A constant. Steady. Safe, in a way that most people never are. My dad’s best friend, the man who taught me how to throw a punch and how to take one. He was always there, just on the periphery, watching out for me in that quiet, gruff way of his.
But things change. People change. Or maybe, it’s just me. Because somewhere along the way, the way I look at him shifted. The safe, familiar lines blurred, and now I’m seeing things I wasn’t supposed to see—feeling things I wasn’t supposed to feel.
It’s like standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing full well that one wrong step could send you plummeting, but you can’t bring yourself to step back. And Logan… he’s the kind of danger you run toward, not away from.
I know better. I should know better. But when I’m around him, all that common sense goes up in smoke. Just like the end of his cigar, burning slow, smouldering—until there’s nothing left but ash.
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You put down your pen with a heavy sigh.
Your diary, the safekeeping for all your thoughts and worries, had recently become your go-to place for your impure thoughts as well.
A part of you wished you could go back to the way it was before. It was simpler, more moral, and occupied a lot less of your mind than it did now.
But something had shifted between the two of you when you became a woman. 
The way you looked at him was a big one. Now that you were in the adult dating pool as well, you couldn’t help but notice that Logan was an attractive man and a single one too.
You obsessively questioned why that was because, to you, he was the complete package; More than just tall, dark, and handsome. 
You would catch yourself stealing glances when he wasn’t looking, the way his chest and abdominal muscles flexed beneath his shirt when he moved. The protruding veins of his forearms and hands, how his fingers were covered in callouses from work.
You had memorized the way his voice dipped into a low grumble when he said your name, how his hazel eyes darkened with something unspoken when they met yours.
The way he spoke to you also took a drastic turn. Keeping the conversation preferably to small talk, or once in a while he’d tease you and call you those annoying pet names from when you were little:
“Watch your mouth, sweetheart.” 
“Come on princess, take a joke,” 
“Kid, you’re gonna be the death of me.”  
Another thing was the way you interacted with each other; you weren’t jumping into his arms as soon as he stepped through the door or being picked up and settled into his lap anymore, it was just a nod of acknowledgement or a slight touch on your lower back if he needed to pass by you.
Even the littlest amount of contact didn’t stop you from imagining what it would feel like if he didn’t stop himself from touching you. What it would feel like if he let go of that last thread of restraint that keeps him just out of reach.
When you lay alone at night, you couldn’t help but think about sitting on that lap again one day.
The lines between right and wrong blur every time he’s near now. It’s dangerous, this game you’re both playing in your heads.
The last time he’d been over, fixing something for your dad, you couldn’t help but notice how his gaze lingered on you a moment too long. How the air seemed to crackle with tension when you were alone in the room together.
“You alright bub’?” he’d tried to play it casually but his eyes… his eyes told a different story.
Bub, the nickname he had given you when you were younger.
“Yeah, just watching you,” you’d bit your lip, keeping your gaze locked on his. 
He nodded, but the way his jaw tightened, the way his hands gripped the wrench a little harder, told you everything you needed to know. You could feel the weight of his gaze on your back as you left the room, your heart pounding in your chest, knowing he felt it too—the pull, the magnetic force that kept you two stealing glances here and there. 
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You close the diary with a soft thud as if shutting the book could somehow lock away the thoughts swirling in your head. But the truth is, there’s no escaping them—not when every interaction with Logan leaves you trembling with a flame you cannot control.
And now, sitting in your room, your diary clutched to your chest like a lifeline, you know it’s only a matter of time before something gives. 
There is no better time than the present after all…Fuck it.
With a deep breath, you push yourself off the bed and glance at the clock. It’s late, but you know Logan’s still awake—he always is.
 Part of you was set on going to see him now, to see if the tension you’ve been imagining is real, if he’ll react the same way as you will.
But another part of you, the part that remembers the little girl who used to jump into his arms without a second thought, holds you back. 
Because once you took that step, there was no going back to the way things were before.
And maybe that’s what scared you the most.
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You slipped out of your apartment, clutching your car keys so tightly that the metal might bend under the pressure.
 What were you doing? You weren’t entirely sure yourself, but it felt as if your body was on autopilot—drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
Finding your car, you slid into the driver’s seat, your fingers trembling as you shot Logan a quick text.
Y/N: You up?
Your leg bounced nervously as you waited for his reply. How would he react? Would his voice of reason prevail, or would he finally admit to feeling the same pull that you did?
A moment later, your phone buzzed. Logan responded with a simple thumbs-up emoji.
Very on brand. 
Simple, efficient, and direct. You thought.
With his green light, you pulled out of the parking garage and drove towards his log cabin up at Deer Lake. The hum of the engine was the only sound breaking the stillness of the night. The closer you got, the more your heart pounded against your ribcage, a steady rhythm that matched the thoughts racing through your mind. 
You couldn’t stop replaying the last time you’d been alone with him, the way his eyes had lingered on yours just a fraction too long, the almost imperceptible tightening of his jaw when your fingers brushed his as he handed you something.
Was tonight the night everything would change?
As you turned onto the narrow, winding road that led to his place, the dense trees seemed to close in around you, the darkness thickening with each passing second.
The familiarity of the path did little to ease your nerves; if anything, it only heightened the anticipation. 
You’d been here countless times before, but tonight was different. Tonight, you weren’t just visiting a family friend—you were venturing into no man's land.
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Finally, the cabin came into view, the warm glow of the porch light spilling out into the cold night air.
You parked the car and took a deep breath, your hand hovering over the door handle as you tried to steady yourself. 
There was still time to turn back, to pretend this had all been a bad idea, a fleeting moment of weakness.
But deep down, you knew you weren’t going to, you knew you didn’t want to.
With a quiet resolve, you stepped out of the car and made your way up the steps to his door. The sound of gravel crunching beneath your boots seemed louder in the stillness of the night.
You hesitated for a moment at the door, your hand raised to knock, when it suddenly swung open, revealing Logan standing there, backlit by the soft light from inside.
He was dressed in his usual white tank top and denim jeans. His tall presence filled the doorway, broad shoulders and familiar, rugged face, but it was the look in his eyes that held you captive. There was a flicker of something there—something that mirrored the pressure in your chest.
“Kid,” he said, his voice low and steady, but you could hear the tension beneath it.
“Can I come in?” You mumbled shyly. 
He nodded,  and you stepped past him into the cabin. The door closed behind you with a soft click, and suddenly the world outside felt very far away. It was as if you’d crossed over into a place where nothing but the two of you existed.
You followed Logan deeper into the cabin, the warmth from the fireplace offering a sharp contrast to the cold, restless night outside. He leaned against the table, returning his glass of whiskey in his hand.
Taking a deep breath, you decided to break the silence. “Logan… can we talk?”
He took a swig and looked up, his hazel eyes reflecting the flickering firelight. “‘Bout what?”
You hesitated, then stepped closer, your heart racing. “Logan, I see the way you look at me.”
He took a swig of his drink.
“... it’s okay. I’ve been looking too.” You stepped closer. 
“I know, sweetheart,” He looked down into his drink. “...hard to ignore what’s goin' on between us.” 
Your breath hitched: he acknowledged it. 
“It is hard, and it’s driving me crazy... we can’t keep pretending like there’s nothing here. I like you, a lot, and I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it.” You fiddled with your fingers. 
“Kid,” he began, his voice gruff, “it ain’t wrong to feel what you’re feelin’. Not with the way that things have changed between us.”
You swallowed, your heart pounding in your chest as you took another step closer, the tension between you thickening with each breath. “Then why have you been pulling away? Why do you keep acting like we can just ignore this?”
Logan’s jaw tightened, his hands flexing as if he was trying to find the right words. “I’ve been tryin’ to protect you…. Things ain’t as simple as they used to be. You’re not a little girl anymore, and I’m… well, I’m me. There’s a lot of weight that comes with this, darlin’. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it too.”
Your heart ached at his words, and a relieved sigh escaped your body. “I don’t care about the weight, Logan. I just… I want to figure this out with you. I want us to be honest about what we’re feeling, even if it’s messy.”
Logan’s expression softened, a hint of vulnerability showing through his tough exterior. “You’re sure about this, princess? Once we open this door, there ain’t no goin’ back.”
You nodded, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside you. “I’m sure. I want to see where this goes. I don’t want to keep pretending.”
Logan took a deep breath and pulled you close to him by your waist, the warmth of his touch grounding you. “Alright, we’ll take it slow and figure it out as we go.” 
Logan’s gaze lingered on yours, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to disappear. The warmth of his hand on your waist, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the soft crackle of the fire—all of it faded into the background as you both stood there, suspended in the tension of what was about to happen.
You could see the conflict in his eyes, the war between the desire he’d been holding back and the protective instinct that had kept him at a distance for so long. But as you leaned in closer, closing the gap between you, something in his resolve seemed to break.
His hand moved from your waist to cup your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek with a tenderness that made your heart swoon. Your breath caught as his gaze flickered down to your lips, then back up to your eyes, as if silently asking for permission.
You answered by closing the distance, your lips meeting his in a kiss that was both gentle and intense, like the release of a storm that had been building for far too long. His other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer as if he couldn’t bear to let you go.
The kiss deepened, a slow exploration of all the feelings you’d both been holding back. There was a rawness to it, a hunger that had been denied for too long, but also a softness, an unspoken promise that this was only the beginning.
When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to steady yourselves. Logan’s hand remained on your face, his thumb tracing the curve of your jaw as if he was memorizing the moment.
“Damn, kid,” he murmured, You could smell the whiskey on his breath. “That was...”
“Yeah,” you whispered, unable to find the words to describe what you were feeling. “It was.”
Logan’s eyes searched yours, and in them, you saw a mixture of relief, longing, and something deeper—something that told you that whatever came next, you wouldn’t have to face it alone.
Without a word, Logan’s hands slid down to your thighs, and with a strength that always amazed you, he lifted you effortlessly. A small gasp escaped your lips as he carried you over to the worn leather armchair by the fire, he settled you in his lap, just like you’d been longing for.
The warmth of his body against yours sent a shiver down your spine as you instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck. Logan held you close, his hand resting on your lower back, grounding you in the moment.
“What now?” he asked with a grin, his voice a little more seductive now as if the kiss had made it harder for him to hold back.
“What happened to start slow?” You tightened your grip around his neck. 
A small, almost shy smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he leaned in to kiss you again, this time slower, savouring every moment. The world outside could wait. For now, all that mattered was this—just the two of you and the beginning of something you both knew you’d been waiting for.
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ty so much for your request reader <3
🏷️: @megangovier, @back2thebasics
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megthemewlingquim · 8 months ago
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love's perfect ache
Summary: Your husband wants nothing more than to love you breathless.
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader
Warnings: smut! Matt is a soft dom (that alone deserves a warning); fingering, multiple orgasms (one somewhat forced but it is not non-con); dirty talk
A/N: Holy shit. So. A lot of things have happened since I last posted. Some of these things include but are not limited to
a) I have been seeing someone romantically for a year and four months
b) I'm graduating with my Bachelor's Degree in Education in May.
c) I've been Student Teaching full time in order to graduate, so I haven't been able to write.
However, these last three days have given me a spark of madness. I first started this draft a little less than a year ago, and only now have I finished it.
This fic is based off of... personal experience. ;) I hope you like it.
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The clatter of plates and silverware jumps through the apartment. The smell of shrimp scampi still lingers in the air, though the windows have been opened and the leftovers have been put in the fridge.
Matt leans his arm over the back of the couch as he sits down, relaxing into his seat. A small part of him wants to go back to you, the remarkable woman behind him who had insisted on doing the dishes and taking care of the leftovers yourself. “Go sit and be handsome,” you’d said, kissing his shoulder. “I can manage it.”
Oh, you.
You never like asking for help, or accepting it when it is given. Not that you think you’re above it, but because you don’t want to trouble anyone else with anything.
He doesn’t love that, but he loves you.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he breathes, toying with the ring on his finger.
“Yeah?” you ask from behind the counter.
“Mm, nothing,” he mutters. “Was just thinking ‘bout you.”
The hum of amusement you give him is a common little sound. One of quiet acknowledgement. It’s almost like you’re numb to what he’s telling you.
Selfless, as always.
The sound reminds him of more intimate times between you two. Sighs, moans, squeaks, breathless laughs and barely audible whines. All from you. And then, he thinks of what you say to him sometimes, when he offers to do certain things.
“It’s alright, baby, you don’t have to.”
“I don’t need to finish. It’s okay. I’m too tired.”
“Honey, I’m good. I promise. You don’t have to do anything.”
Matt snaps back to the current moment. His heart hurts.
In the two years that you’ve been married, you’ve had a bit of trouble; not only with accepting help or kind words or generous gifts of affection, but with accepting pleasure too, pleasure that Matt so willingly wants to give to you. He knows about that, how you find it difficult to fathom the love he has for you and the ways he wants to express it.
Yes, you’ve discussed your kinks and your turn-offs with him. You’ve been intimate, and you’ve enjoyed it immensely. But you’ve never quite gotten to where he wants you, to where you should be.
You deserve pleasure, and you don’t see it.
Matt’s jaw clenches.
“Honey?” he asks. “You good?”
“Yup!” you chirp. “Just putting the last pan away."
“Ok.”
Thirty seconds pass. He hears you, in that time, put the last pan into the lazy-susan cabinet and wipe down the counter one last time. Then, you step away from the kitchen and sit next to him on the couch with a sleepy little mumble.
“Everything okay?” Matt asks softly, leaning in to nuzzle into your neck. He leaves a feather-light kiss there.
“Yeah,” you sigh. “Everything’s… good.”
“I have an idea,” he mumbles into your skin, his hand trailing up your thigh. “And I need to know what you think about it.”
“What are you thinking?” you ask, a hint of a smile in your voice.
“Well, I was thinking… that we could… have some fun.” Matt grins.
You breathe outward, silently, your breath heavy and shuddered, as his lips trail to the back of your neck and he bites into the flesh.
“I’d like that,” you say.
“I wasn’t finished. We have some fun… but I spend the night just… letting you feel everything. I want to make you come, sweetheart. A lot, if I’m honest.”
He can hear the sharp inhale — quiet but noticeable — and how your heartbeat picks up almost instantly. His grin widens. “I want to spoil you tonight. All I want you to do is lay on the bed and be your beautiful self. I’ll do the rest.”
“I — um — ” you stammer, “you don’t have to do that — ”
“Uh uh.” Matt shakes his head. “None of that now. I want to do this. You don’t see how much you deserve this, honey. What is it that you’re afraid of?”
“ ‘m not afraid… just…”
“Just?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re too damn humble for your own good, you know?”
You shrug.
“Baby, look at me,” Matt says softly. When he knows you have done so, he says, “If you really don’t want to, we don’t have to. But I’ve noticed it. I just wanna give my girl what she deserves. Will you let me do that? Even just for tonight?”
It takes a good ten seconds for you to give him the slightest sound of approval. A tiny little “uh huh,” close to a whisper, but he can hear it.
“That’s my girl,” he says, grinning.
Matt carries you to bed bridal-style, shutting the door behind him with the back of his foot, and sits you on the edge of the bed.
He starts by just kissing you; your lips, your cheeks. Softly, gently, with both hands coming up to your jawline and your neck, thumbs swiping your cheeks and temples.
His affection is always, always welcomed. You have never felt safer than when you are in his arms — those same arms that are often covered in bruises and scratches and blood, those same arms that drop snitches from buildings and punch the daylights out of bad guys. You have never felt safer.
His hands fall down to your chest, your waist, lightly applying pressure or squeezing gently. You're in the warm embrace of someone who could break you, and the fact that he chooses to treat you with such delicate care makes your heart swell and your chest ache with such love — and this turns you on even more.
Matt treasures you. Cherishes you.
He sighs into the kisses he gives. “You have no idea how much you turn me on,” he says, his voice low. “You know that?” He moves his head up and kisses your forehead; his lips linger there for a while. “And you don’t even realize it… you don’t realize that I get off by making you feel good.”
What Matt has just said to you doesn’t register fully until he’s already laid you down onto the bed, gently pushing you down with his right hand. He straddles you, taking his shirt off and throwing it on the floor. “You beautiful, wonderful, lovely girl.” He leans down, kissing your clothed chest and your stomach before shuffling your pants off of you.
He gets in between your legs, sitting on the bed sideways but still facing you. You’re wearing black boyshorts, the comfiest pair you own. Matt’s favorite. He likes imagining how the black would look on you, and how the cloth would hug your hips.
His hand gently strokes the crotch of your underwear, the pressure sending sparks up your privates. It’s so much different, you think, to have someone else’s hand there rather than your own.
“You smell so good,” he mutters, in that tone of voice, and you know that he’s not talking about the vanilla eau de parfum you put on every day. No, he’s talking about a different scent you give off.
You flush, embarrassed, crossing your legs and putting your face in your hands. His hand stays where it was, unmoving, between your legs.
A finger moves, right over your clit, and you twitch.
“None of that,” Matt whispers. “No hiding today. I want to see your pretty face.”
“You can’t see,” you whimper through your hands.
“When has that ever stopped me?” he says, and you know he has that shit-eating grin on his face. “Come on,” he coaxes, “take your hands off your face.”
You don’t move. “Matty…”
“There’s no need to be embarrassed, sweetie.” A finger moves on your clit again and you gasp. “You’re so beautiful. Every part of you. Even the parts you’re insecure about…”
When you say nothing, he moves his finger again and you twitch at the shock it gives you. “I’m not gonna do anything else until you take your hands off your face,” he says, and you know he’s serious.
Matt’s finger moves for the third time and that’s when you remove your hands. His little chuckle sends shivers down your back.
“There,” he says, “there’s my pretty girl. See? Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
His hand, quick as a bullet, goes into your underwear and cups your pussy, adding pressure again. A strangled sound comes out of you and you cover your mouth. Matt chuckles again, and coos at you, "Aww, what? What's making you so shy? You know I love hearing you."
The teasing is too much now, but you can't seem to get over your shyness. You whimper into your hand, moving your hips to try and get some more friction. It works, but only for a second. Matt immediately notices what you're doing and he draws his hand away again.
"What do you need, baby?"
"Ffffingers."
Matt nods and shuffles you out of your underwear.
Slowly, he puts a finger in you, keeping his eyes lowered and concentrating on your feel, your sounds. The relieved sigh is all he needs, and he stays where he is, knuckle deep inside you. He doesn't move it yet, and instead, he chooses to feel you clench around his finger to no avail.
"So warm," he says, "so warm and wet."
You flush, embarrassed at that. For no reason at all, you've been self-conscious about that part of you, and how it looks, smells, tastes. You turn your head and try to keep yourself away from the praise he's giving you.
Matt tsks. "None of that now. It's beautiful, honey. You're so beautiful."
"M-Matt," you whimper, "no."
"Yes," he says, and starts to move his finger. In and out, slow and steady. The burn and stretch is a welcome one, but you start to feel something else. Almost like a wall, a barrier to your pleasure. You can't come without that wall being torn down.
"Can — can you get the vibrator, please?"
"It's been a while since you've asked for what you want." Matt grins. "That's a good girl, hm? Of course, I can."
He moves, pulling his finger out of you and getting off the bed. He opens the nightstand drawer next to the bed and pulls out a magenta colored vibrator.
Matt gets back on the bed and puts his finger in you again. The wall comes back once he starts moving his finger again, but this time he puts the vibrator in your clit and presses a button. It buzzes to life, only on the lowest setting, but it's enough.
The wall comes down and all you feel is pleasure. You sigh, relieved. The vibrator is a nice distraction from the stretch.
"There you go," Matt says quietly. "Just feel that, honey. I've got you."
I've got you.
The reassurance that Matt gives you is both comforting and sexy. You like being submissive, and you like being taken care of. More than anything, you like being taken care of by the man who made his vows, before God and the world, to be your husband for the rest of your lives.
You melt into the bed as he continues to make love to you. Subspace is setting in and your mind goes fuzzy. You wouldn't normally describe yourself as a pillow princess, but here, right now... you are. And that's what Matt wants.
He smiles, shushes you gently, and this hurls you down into subspace even more. "Such a good girl," he whispers, "always so good to me. Just let me take care of you."
And with that, you're gone. Completely vulnerable, giving yourself over to Matt. And he finds it so lovely. so beautiful, how much you trust him.
"I think what you need is a little more... maybe right here — "
His fingers do something else, they go lower and deeper. Immediately, you feel like you're being punched in the stomach, but the sensation itself is far from painful. You can't stop yourself this time; you moan, a choked sound, and you bury your head to the side and into your pillows. Dear God, if Matt keeps this up, you're not gonna last much longer.
"There," he says, his voice low but filled with warmth, keeping his fingers moving right there, in and out, "that's what you need, hm? I know, honey, I know."
Matt knows you. He knows you, inside and out, body and soul. He knows your laugh, your smile, your voice, your smells. He knows how you moan, how you shiver, twitch and gasp. He knows what makes you tick. He knows how you come, what you need to get there. There's nothing more comforting — or sexy — than that.
You're unbelievably tense - your entire body is stiff, coming close to that edge. Matt can feel it, simply on his fingers, but he can hear it, too: the way your breath hitches and the way your moans increase, both in frequency and in pitch. He can feel your blood flowing, he can hear your heartbeat increase, feel how warm your skin has become. He notices all of these things, and he thinks it's the most beautiful thing in the world. A small part of him is still regretful that he cannot see, but only because... oh, what he wouldn't give to see your face.
"Matty," you whimper, "M-Matty, I'm cc-close. I'm so close—"
He loves hearing that desperation in your voice. You're starting to move around, turning and panting, almost in an attempt to get away from the pleasure that's sure to overtake you in a few moments. He can sense how tight your eyes are closed, how dry your mouth has become from all the sounds - oh, the beautiful sounds - that you're making, how tightly your fists are clenched, and where your arms are going. You don't seem to know exactly what to do with your hands. A few times, it looks like you debate whether to hide your face again, but you don't do that.
"M-Matty!"
And he knows, then, that you're peaking, that the orgasm has already begun and you're just on the edge of letting go, letting it completely overtake you. You've given yourself completely to him, and you're at his mercy.
And the Devil of Hell's Kitchen does have mercy, believe it or not.
"Come for me, sweetheart," he whispers, with such gentle fondness and delight that you have no choice but to obey.
You're gone, your body in flames and filled with electric sparks. Fireworks.
The sound that comes from you then is the most beautiful sound Matt has ever heard. He's heard it before, and he will never get tired of it. It's a sound of release, of letting go... a cry of pleasure, almost a guttural scream and a shuddered breath all at once. It's an orgasmic wail or sometimes it is even a period of silence where you are just completely lost in the agonizing ecstasy of it all.
You're coming, and you're coming hard... He always knows what to do or say to make that happen. When he married you, he made a vow to himself to always make you feel like the most satisfied woman in the world. It's always a reward when this happens, when he can hear and feel you like this.
It's a long one, he realizes, because you gasp and shiver and twitch and spasm and cry out in surprise as the waves of pleasure keep rushing over you. He laughs, then, a small amused chuckle that leaves you even more breathless than you already are. Matt delights in making you feel this way. If he could go down on his knees and beg God Almighty to let him do this forever, he would.
"Oh, that's it," he coos, "that's my girl."
His praise, combined with the continued moving of his fingers - shouldn't they be getting sore by now? - only makes your orgasm last longer. Once it begins to fade, your body relaxes and you breathe out a sigh of contentment and warmth. Your eyes remain closed - and it's probably a good thing, because the way Matt is looking at you now would be enough to kill you with how loving it is The aftershocks of your orgasm - little jolts of pleasure - start to course through you.
"That was beautiful," he mutters to himself. "I think I want another from you."
You eyes snap open. "Honey," you mumble.
"What?" he asks gently. "I know you can." His hands are moving now, all across your body in an attempt to soothe you. You look down and see the tent in his pants: he's never been so hard in the years that you've known him.
"You need help with that?" you ask with a smile, sitting up. By the direction that your voice is going, he knows what you're talking about.
"No, no, no," he says, using a hand to push you back onto the bed. "Don't change the subject."
"I wasn't."
"Yes," Matt kisses your chest, "you were."
"I can't come again."
"Yes, you can." Matt clicks the vibrator on again and, before you can move away, puts it on your clit.
Your whole body seizes up, your clit goes numb, and all you can feel is good, but too good. Your mind blanks. You shriek out a sound of surprise and pleasure and agony, your body instantly trying to get away. It's too much, you're too sensitive, but he won't let up. He holds you down, shushing you again as you let out little cries and sobs and moans. Your body convulses, twitching in his grasp.
"Shh, shh, baby... I got you. Remember that. You're alright."
"MattMattMatt — I can't!"
"Yes, you can," he says again, firmer this time, but laughs as you try to get away. "Just hang on a little longer, you'll feel good again. Your body is already adapting to it. You're okay."
And of course, it's true. Your body is already getting used to it. Your sobs die down and now, the pleasure is bearable. Extremely good, actually. Your moans are weak, your eyebrows are furrowed, and your eyes are shut again. The convulsions are stopping, and now all you can do is feel it all again.
"That's it, bubba," Matt says, "see? I know you can handle it."
He puts two fingers inside you, slowly, and the burn is less uncomfortable now. A guttural sound leaves you again as you're filled up, and once Matt starts moving again, you tense up immediately. Two fingers and a vibrator are a recipe for an extremely quick orgasm, and you both know it.
"Baby," you whisper.
"What?" he coos. "Is my girl close already?"
"Nnngh," is all you can reply back. "Mm hmm."
"That's what I wanted," Matt says quietly, triumphantly. "You don't have to say anything anymore. Just feel it."
It doesn't take much longer for you to get close to coming again. Especially when Matt begins to drive his fingers into you harder, faster. You can't even speak anymore; all you can do is vocalize; moan, whimper, gasp. And you know that Matt is having the time of his life. One of the first things he ever said to you about things like this was that he'd get off by getting you off, and that has always stuck with you.
Your legs start to quiver.
You peak again, sobbing out a high pitched whine. The feeling is strong now, like an unstoppable force is meeting an immovable object. Your body is tense, unbelievably so, and the pleasure keeps building, but it never crests. It never reaches that point. That's the trouble of having one orgasm after another. It's hard to come. "MMMatt, pplease, please, p —"
"Shh," Matt says again with a grunt, "don't worry. We'll get you there. Relax as much as you can. Remember, I'll take care of you." You try your best to relax your body but it's still a bit difficult. All the while, Matt is practically shoving his fingers into you now, relentlessly, and you start to hear noises down there that send your mind reeling. Your back arches.
"You fuckin' hear that?" Matt's sudden vulgarity is a surprise. He's ravenous. "Oh, you want it, don't you?" He hoists a leg over your own to keep you from moving. "You're so close. Stay here, don't run away from me."
He pauses, but his fingers keep moving. "I'll get some restraints later."
After a few more seconds, it finally hits. You crest, your orgasm starting again, and all you can shriek is a simple, "Oh, oh Jesus — "
"Just come," Matt says quietly. It contrasts heavily with the way he's ramming his fingers into you. "Don't do anything else. Just come. Let go. Let go, let go, let go — "
And, with the encouragement comforting you, what else can you do but do as he says? You're stuck in place and your mind is mush. You come with another wail, this one stronger and more primal than the first, louder too, and you see stars behind your eyelids. Your leg is shaking, and if your other one could move, it would, too. Your clit is warm, almost numb again, and your arms are quivering above his head. The sounds from your privates get more intense, and Matt grunts in exertion. You don't know anything anymore, you can't think or speak. All you can do is feel, and that's exactly what Matt wanted from the start.
You're sure Matt's senses are overloaded. Sound, smell, taste, feel. He can hear how desperate and overtaken you are, he can smell and taste your arousal and sweat in the air, and he can feel your quivers and shakes and your tightness. He's rock hard now, and it probably hurts a little, but he doesn't care. You're all that's on his mind and once again he wishes that he could only see your face in this moment.
"Oh, look at you," Matt praises, slowing his fingers now. You're a mess, a beautiful, satiated mess. There are tears in your eyes and sweat on your brow. Your hair is tangled and unkept, and your knuckles hurt from how hard you've been clenching your fists. It's amazing how this is only from a fingering, but you needed this. You wanted this, as shy as you were to admit it. You pant, weakly, your legs completely unable to move. You're jelly, practically limp, and you twitch and shudder as the last of the aftershocks hit you.
"Can I put it in now?"
You shriek and Matt laughs, falling beside you and immediately wrapping his arms around you. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, baby." He kisses your forehead and cradles your head to him. "Such a good girl," he says, "you did such a good job. I'm so proud of you."
You swallow, and the saliva is a welcome sensation on your dry throat. "I think... I'll call off of work tomorrow," you pant. "Holy hell, Matty."
"Careful," Matt says, "if you do that, I won't be able to stop myself from doing this all over again once you wake up."
"I'm in danger," you say with a breathless laugh. "Just be gentle, okay?"
"Of course," he says, "always. I'm so happy that you allowed me to do that. It's been a while since you've given in that much. You don't know how hot it is to me when you let go like that."
You look down and see the tent in Matt's pants again. "Do you want me to take care of that now?"
"When you're half asleep already? I'm good, honey. That will go away eventually. But it'll be there in the morning, waiting for you. And I may or may not slip out in a few hours and get some restraints from the sex shop later. You may or may not wake up with your arms and legs tied to the bed. Just be warned."
It isn't long before you slip into sleep, completely exhausted but satiated and happy. And while you sleep, you can still feel Matt's lips on your forehead, and you think you can hear a small, "I love you, sweetheart," too.
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